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poisonedapples · 4 years

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Domestic Life (Was Never Quite My Style)

Summary: Even with a baby Patton who refuses to go to sleep, Roman finds himself having the loveliest night with his family.

Warnings: The song “Dear Theodosia” and one “blink and you’ll miss it” mention of parental abandonment. It’s mostly adorable fluff

Pairings: Romantic Logince, parental Royality and Logicality

Word Count: 2,522

Taglist: @noodles-07 @didyouseerichohisawrich @look-ma-im-on-tv @somehow-i-got-an-account @depressed-stressed-virgil @queen-of-all-things-snuggly @ohlookanotherdumbfanboy @jamie-writes-things @adoratato @boopypasta @omgsomeonesomewhereonearth @beyondthestacks @changeling-ash @hold-our-destiny

Notes: Happy anniversary to the best boyfriend in all the land, @romansleftshoulderpad, who has been there through everything good, weird and awful. You’re amazing, and even though my Writing Machine broke and had me change my present idea four times, hopefully you’ll appreciate some fluff nonetheless.

(Also shoutout as always to my friend Cornybird on Ao3 for editing my stuff I owe you like five squishmallows)

Roman and Logan were always the couple that no one could have possibly guessed. Roman was wild and untamed; always aiming for the best of the best, striving to conquer the impossible and prove everyone who doubted him wrong.

There always seemed to be so little time for him. He wanted to write, sing, dance, act, create, and he refused to let trivial things get in the way of that. Even as a hopeless romantic who dreamed of marriage, it seemed like his running on pure adrenaline made it impossible for him to make friends, let alone a husband.

Logan wasn’t much better. He wasn’t very invested in the arts and had (arguably) more achievable goals, but he still couldn’t stand to not be the top of his class. He wanted to be idolized. He wanted a kid who felt as helpless as he once did to look at him and get hope for the future. He wanted respect, and he was determined to gain it.

But that led to him overworking himself. Logan had a habit of working late into the night to put efficiency over self care, to drop everything that could get in his way and absorb himself in his own goals. Yet just like Roman, self isolation led to loneliness, and his personal expectations made him deem himself unworthy of a partner and family, no matter how untrue that was.

On the outside, they looked like people who were too busy and in their heads to enjoy the little things. Logan passed up warm showers and movie nights to get his ideas out on paper, and Roman passed up coffee shops and strolls through the park to create bigger and better things. But for the longest time, on the inside they were lonely. And only one person could see that enough to break through.

No one expected them to get to this point. The point where they’d been happily together for four years, Logan’s engagement ring carefully placed in the same box that Roman had given it to him in on the bedside table. But it was real anyway, and Logan was fast asleep, while Roman’s brain was thinking about too many fantasy worlds for him to calm down enough to doze off. Instead, he ran his fingers through his fiancé’s hair and watched him sleep peacefully on his chest.

Roman could have spent his entire life in that position. Just him and Logan, his adorable love looking peaceful and happy as Roman protected him from the world. If he wouldn’t be risking waking him up, Roman would also be peppering kisses all over his face, but he took a mental note to do that in the morning instead. They were going on a date tomorrow after all, and those always ended in lots of kisses and cheesy flirts Logan would roll his eyes at. But Roman thought his faux annoyance was adorable, so he used pickup lines at least three times a week.

But that was tomorrow, and tonight was tonight. And nights were a child’s favorite time to break the peace.

Roman could hear babbling from the room across from them, as well as from the baby monitor next to the bed. Patton was already squealing “dada” a little bit, and Roman knew from experience that he was getting ready to cry for them. It broke his heart every time Patton cried, so he gently pushed Logan to the bed and kissed his hair. He didn’t squirm, so Roman shimmied off the bed and smiled at Logan one last time as the baby talk got a little louder. He knew the drill by now, so Roman grabbed his guitar before he left and went to Patton’s bedroom. Music was the fastest way to get the little guy back to sleep.

Roman opened the colorful door to his son’s nursery. Only a pale blue nightlight gave light to the room, revealing a crib with a babbling baby holding onto the rails. Patton still couldn’t walk, but he was getting pretty good at standing in place, so the day would come at any time now.

Roman gave his baby a tired smile. “Hello, sunshine. What are you doing awake? Princes need their beauty sleep!”

“Dada, dada, dada!” Patton babbled, jumping as much as his tiny legs could using the spring of the crib’s mattress. Roman didn’t bother going to the crib and picking him up, though. He learned a long time ago that a rocking chair doesn’t make Patton tired anymore; he only squeals with excitement like it’s a baby rollercoaster. Roman experimented one night and played Wonderwall on his guitar as a joke when Patton refused to calm down, but it was the fastest the little guy had ever been lulled to sleep. Since then, Roman immediately picks up his guitar and lets Patton relax to that instead.

“What’s the request tonight, little buddy?” Roman asked as he sat in the rocking chair and strummed some of the strings. “Frère Jacques? Hey Soul Sister? Or do you want a song Dada really likes?”

“Dada!” Patton squealed.

“A Dada song? Excellent choice!” Roman leaned back in the chair and thought about what he may want to play. Logically he knew Patton only said dada because it was the only word he knew, but Roman liked to pretend his baby was the smartest boy in the entire world, even if his farts still scared him and he slapped his hands on every new surface he found. If he grew up to be anything like Logan, then Roman knew that he would have a bright future. “Now...what would I maybe want to play…”

Patton let go of the railing and let himself fall on his butt back to the mattress. He crawled over to his favorite stuffed frog and held onto the fur tightly, which Roman thought was objectively the cutest thing in this world. Though then again, everything Patton did was adorable. He was at the perfect age to steal the heart of everyone, and call Roman a lovestruck dad all you wanted, but his baby just blew his breath away.

“Hey, little froggy, how about we bring back an old favorite? Especially since me and Papa have been watching the Hamilfilm a whole lot!” Patton giggled in response, so Roman nodded his head. “Alright then, let’s see here…”

Roman placed his fingers on the neck of the guitar and strummed the first cord, testing out the tune. When he was satisfied, Roman strummed out the beginning notes of the song, and already Patton began to seem mesmerized by it.

“Dear Theodosia what to say to you? You have my eyes, you have your mother’s name. When you came into the world you cried and it broke my heart…” Patton shoved one of the eyes of his stuffed frog into his mouth, listening intently. When Patton was first born, all Roman did was sing this song to him. It seemed to fit so well given their situation. Logan always went on about how Patton had Roman’s eyes, even though Roman expected Logan to mention that it was obvious Patton would have some of his traits. He was half Roman after all, and Logan was hardly one for sentimentals anyway. But then again, becoming a dad had made him a lot softer than Roman could ever imagine.

“I’m dedicating every day to you, domestic life was never quite my style, when you smile…” Roman looked over at his baby. He had a little smile on his face, but Roman also guessed that was just the permanent position Patton’s face was in. He seemed like a happy baby almost all the time, give or take a few sick days and the time Patton saw a spider for the first time. “...You knock me out, I fall apart, and I thought I was so smart.”

Roman didn’t know if he was smart or not. His fiancé said that intelligence is more than book smarts and street smarts, and Roman had his strengths just like he had his flaws. But insecurity was a wild thing, and though Roman put on his best facade of greatness, he was only human, and humans have a strange perspective on self worth. Though no matter how intelligent he was, Roman had long accepted that Patton could break down any tough walls he or Logan put up. After all, it had been quite the sight to see Logan sob from happiness at holding his baby for the first time.

“You will come of age with our young nation...we’ll bleed and fight for you. We’ll make it right for you. If we lay a strong enough foundation...we’ll pass it onto you. We’ll give the world to you and you’ll blow us all away. Someday, someday…”

Roman strummed out the notes in between lyrics for longer than he had to, but it was okay when his audience was a baby who didn’t actually know the song. “Ready for one more part, buddy?” Patton didn’t respond (obviously), he only looked up at Roman with big eyes. “Good! I know it’s your favorite part.”

“I have to admit that it is mine as well.”

Roman’s strumming stopped in its tracks when he heard the familiar voice. He looked across the room to the door where his adorable fiancé stood, his hair messy and Roman’s stolen pajama shirt making him look considerably tinier. If Roman wasn’t so tired, he’d scoop Logan up and swing him around the room for being so adorable. “What are you doing awake, love?”

“I can hear you singing from the baby monitor that’s a few feet away from my face.” Roman’s cheeks flushed red, but Logan didn’t care. He walked over to Roman at the rocking chair and wrapped his arms around his shoulders, giving a kiss to the top of Roman’s head. “Did a certain little froggy decide to have a party past his bedtime?”

“He woke up, yeah. I’m trying to put him back to sleep.”

“Did you check his diaper?”

Roman blinked. “...I did not.”

Logan sighed, but he shook his head fondly at his forgetful fiancé. Roman always went to the more complicated solutions before thinking about the basics, but at least he was trying. If Patton had started to cry, Roman would have eventually realized to check those things anyway.

Logan picked up Patton from his crib and took a sniff of his diaper. He smelled clean, which was good, but putting a baby to sleep who simply didn’t want to rest was harder than having something specific to fix. Logan kept Patton in his arms as Roman strummed on his guitar again with a smile.

“I still have to finish my song, Logan. Care to join the late night party with us?”

Logan smiled. “It’s Alexander’s part, correct?”

“Don’t act like you don’t already know. You love this musical as much as I do.”

“Fair point. How about you sing to us, then?”

“Could you do me the honor of singing alongside me?” Roman asked.

Logan felt his face heat up. “...We’ll see.”

Roman didn’t push it anymore. He knew Logan didn’t like his singing voice, even if it was objectively the best thing Roman could ever possibly hear. But when Logan got some time to ease into the idea, he would eventually slide into it.

Roman started strumming again, and the song picked up once more. It was just that with Logan around, the energy of the room felt all the more alive. “Oh, Phillip you outshine the morning sun. My son. Look at my son!”

Patton smacked both his hands on Logan’s shoulder. Logan couldn’t help but laugh.

“Pride is not the word I’m looking for. There is so much more inside me now…”

Logan began to sing, and Roman almost stopped in his tracks with awe. “Oh, Phillip, you outshine the morning sun. My son.”

Patton looked up at his dad with the most adorable baby smile. At the sound of both his parents and his favorite guitar, Patton began kicking and bouncing in Logan’s arms. The song was meant to calm him down enough to sleep, but instead the little guy decided it was the perfect time of day of a dance party. The worst part was that neither Roman or Logan had the heart to argue with him.

Instead, they both began to sing together as Patton bounced and smacked his hands. “When you smile, I fall apart. And I thought I was so smart.”

The music changed a little bit, and Roman and Logan both knew what came next. It was a part that hit them both close to home, but they’d practiced that section way too many times to not be prepared. Roman took the part of Alexander first. “My father wasn’t around…”

Logan held a dancing Patton tighter. “My father wasn’t around.”

“I swear that I’ll be around for you. I’ll do whatever it takes…”

“I’ll make a million mistakes…”

Roman stood up from the rocking chair and strummed louder as he stood beside Logan. Both him and their son smiled as the two came back together for the song. “I’ll make the world safe and sound for you...will come of age with our young nation.”

Roman laid his head on Logan’s shoulder and Patton was merciful enough to stop slapping and put all his energy into bouncing up and down instead of smacking Roman in the face. “We’ll bleed and fight for you, we’ll make it right for you. If we lay a strong enough foundation...we’ll pass it onto you. We’ll give the world to you, and you’ll blow us all away. Someday, someday...yeah, you’ll blow us all away. Someday, someday…”

The two parents held the last note as Roman strummed out the ending of the song. When Roman finished with that final strum, Patton still danced until the note had become too quiet to hear. Once he stopped his bouncing, Roman set his guitar down on the floor long enough to grab Patton’s hands and make him clap. “Yay, bravo, bravo! A wonderful musician and his beautiful dancer!”

Patton squealed nonsense in response as Logan moved to steal Roman’s place at the rocking chair, being careful not to rock it in case it only riled Patton up even more. “I don’t think he’s been calmed down by your song, Roman.”

“Well…” Roman grabbed his guitar again and sat on the floor in front of the rocking chair. “That just means we have to let him dance out the energy, right? Then tomorrow, we’re absolutely recording him dancing to this. I would do it now if I wasn’t tired.”

Logan chuckled. “I will try to remind you.”

“But until then…” Roman placed his fingers back on the strings and strummed the first note. “Care for another round, my love?”

The smile Logan gave off mixed with the happiness of their baby was an image Roman swore to cherish forever. “Of course, my prince.”

When Roman began to strum, their precious baby boy started to dance once more.

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perspective-series · 5 years

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Switched Perspective (18)

By: @arc852 and @hiddendreamer67

Warnings: Mentions of Past Trauma, Mention of death/almost killing someone, and Guilt

(Check the reblog for the links to the previous chapters and the prequel!)

This is a sequel to A Third Perspective! Read that first or you will be confused!

Virgil made his way to Roman’s apartment, heading into his room. Since no one else was in the home, he decided to leave the bedroom door open as he sat on the desk and let Roman off.

Virgil was nervous. He knows he did a lot of wrong things. Went a little far with both Roman and Logan. And while Roman said he forgave him…

“Soooo….” Virgil started but trailed off. How did they start this?

“Soooo…” Roman bit his bottom lip, looking around at everything in the room.

This was awkward. That much was clear. What were they supposed to do, just have an open discussion about their feelings until a blossoming friendship emerged?

“...are we friends?” Roman asked, unsure as he decided to jump straight to the point. The faster he could get this over with, the better.

Virgil blinked, having not expected the question. “Are we? I mean, I don’t know…” Virgil ran a hand through his hair. “Do you even want to be friends with me? After everything I did?” Because at this point, Virgil himself wouldn’t want to be his own friend.

“Umm…” Roman went back to biting his lip, putting his hands behind his back as he rocked back and forth on his heels. “I mean, I’m supposed to, aren’t I? That’s the whole point of this thing.”

Virgil groaned, putting his head in his hands. “We’re never getting back to normal.” He said and then, much quieter. “And it’s all my fault.”

“Aw, come now Virgil.” Roman sighed. “This isn’t all your fault. At least part of the blame has to go to Logan and I for treating you so poorly from the beginning.”

“...I guess you could say the only one who didn’t do anything wrong is Patton, huh?” Virgil said, lifting his head a little and sending Roman a small smile.

“Heh, yeah.” Roman agreed. After all, though Patton had been a little negligent in handling Roman, he was still the sweetest lil’ puffball they had. “Guess that cinnamon roll just had to put up with the rest of us.”

“Yeah.” Virgil chuckled, but soon found himself frowning again. “Why did this even happen to us? Patton and I would have been gone by now and everything would have gone back to the way it was.”

“I think it might have been...destiny.” Roman gazed off into the distance, looking dramatic.

“Destiny.” Virgil deadpanned. “Yeah, right. I’m more likely to believe Thomas’ theory of it being two witches than something like destiny.” Virgil said, rolling his eyes.

“I’m serious!” Roman insisted. “I’ve always been one to believe in the supernatural, and you’ve gotta admit there must be some sort of mystical magic at play here. How else could this possibly have happened? Clearly, we were just destined to become friends, and yet we screwed it up so terribly the first time that the universe is giving us another chance.”

“Look, I can’t explain how we switched. I’ll admit there must have been some sort of magic in play here. But I just...don’t believe in destiny. Never have. I-I can’t.” Virgil sighed, rubbing a hand across his face. “It’s just, kind of depressing to think you were destined to be smaller than the rest of the world. Destined to have to survive and fear the beings you have to use to survive.” Virgil shook his head. “Thinking everything was just a coincidence helps my self-esteem a lot better.”

“...oh, ah, right.” Roman turned a slight shade of pink in embarrassment, having not thought of it that way. It was easier to believe in fairy tales when you could picture yourself as the hero.

“Do you...regret being a borrower, then?” Roman asked, realizing it would be quite easy for Virgil to just keep everything switched around. “Would you rather stay this size?”

“...I’ll admit, some part of me always thought being a human would be so much easier. But…” Virgil bit his lip. “I’m good at being a borrower. Being human...well, clearly, I’m far from the best. Do I wish I didn’t have to fear humans? Or being caught? Yeah. But I was born a borrower and I honestly don’t feel like changing that.” Virgil shrugged. He did envy humans in the past, of course, but this whole experience especially taught him he is no good as a human.

Roman was glad to hear it. It would have been a pain if Virgil decided to go against the general consensus that changing back was indeed the goal.

“I think you’re an excellent borrower.” Roman praised.

“Roman, I was caught twice.” Virgil deadpanned.

“Well yeah, but that meant I got to see you!” Roman said enthusiastically.

“That’s like, the exact opposite of what a borrower is supposed to do,” Virgil said, the ghost of a smile on his lips.

“Okay fine, maybe you’re not a great ‘traditional’ borrower,” Roman emphasized his point with air quotes and a small eye roll. “But that doesn’t mean you’re not an excellent borrower. Maybe it just means you’re a borrower destined to befriend humans. Oh! See, what I did there? Destiny.” Roman did a fist pump of victory. “Brought it full circle.”

Virgil rolled his eyes fondly and couldn’t hold back a small chuckle at Roman being Roman. “Maybe.” Virgil conceited, for the time, being anyway.

“Let’s say destiny is real. Does that mean you were destined to be a giant thorn in my side?” Virgil asked, smirking.

“Ah!” Roman gasped, putting his hand to his chest as he pretended to be hurt. “How you wound me, Virgil! If anything you’re the tiny brooding needle pricking my finger.”

Virgil found himself laughing out loud at that. “Hey, if I don’t, no one else will.” He said with a shrug, still smiling.

His smile, though, quickly went away as he thought for a moment. He was actually kind of having...fun, right now. With Roman. Virgil actually laughed for the first time in what seemed like forever.

Virgil found himself realizing that...he did want to be friends with Roman. Which, honestly surprised him. Whoever thought he’d want to be friends with a human?

But, even though he wanted to be friends with Roman...did Roman want to be friends with him? His answer earlier told him no, not really. He was just doing this so they could get back to normal. And Virgil understood that. He was terrible after all. He abused his position as the human and left physical and mental scars in his wake. Why would Roman want to be friends with him?

“...I’m sorry. I know I said it before and I know it doesn’t really mean anything, but I am so, so sorry.” Virgil said, looking down and fidgeting with his sleeves. He only just now realized he was still in Roman’s pajamas.

“Virgil, I already forgave you.” Roman reminded him, frowning at Virgil’s change of demeanor. He had noticed Virgil actually opening up and having a good time, but now he was back to being his usual debbie downer self.

“Why? I almost killed you, why would you forgive that?!” Virgil’s eyes widened as if just realizing something for the first time. “I almost killed you.” He repeated, this time in a whisper more for himself. “I almost killed Logan.” Virgil stood up suddenly, backing away from the desk and Roman.

“I-I shouldn't even be near you, I-!” Virgil held his head in his hands, trying to stop the tears he could feel coming.

“Virgil!” Roman ran closer to the edge of the desk as if trying to bridge the gap between them, despite knowing he was effectively trapped on the desk itself. The fall was certainly much farther than the tumble he had taken off the coffee table.

“Virgil, stop it,” Roman spoke loudly, making sure he’d be heard. “You’re being ridiculous. How could I not forgive you? Look at you! You’re a mess! Am I really supposed to stand here and be all grouchy about the past when you’re clearly broken up over it? It’s not like it’s going to happen again.” Virgil wouldn’t even get the chance, once they switched back.

Virgil lifted his head, staring at Roman with wide tear filled eyes. “B-But it technically did happen again. After I did that to you, I went ahead and did it to Logan!” Virgil shook his head. And if he was being technical, Roman had already given him his second chance. And he had failed.

“That’s why I can’t understand how you can just forgive me. I mean, I sure don’t!” He would never forgive himself for how he hurt the both of them.

Roman huffed. He was beginning to see why the universe had made Virgil a borrower, as he was certainly far too stressed as a human.

“Okay, so you screwed up once or twice.” Roman crossed his arms. “Big deal. Who hasn’t? The important thing to remember is that you didn’t kill us.” Roman also thought it beneficial there were no other humans-turned-borrower around for Virgil to terrorize, but he didn’t vocalize that opinion.

“Virgil, clearly you’re not meant to be a human, so stop beating yourself up for being a bad one.” Roman took a few steps forward, standing almost at the edge now. “You need to move past this and remember you’re just a borrower trying his best.”

Virgil nodded along to what Roman was saying, slowly putting his hands down. “R-Right. You’re-You’re right.” Maybe if he said it enough he would believe it.

“...Even though I still don’t know how, thank you for forgiving me.” Virgil said, looking away. “I would understand if you really didn’t though.”

“Virgiiiiiil…” Roman leaned his head back and let out a loud groan. “I get that you’ve got this whole angsty persona going here, but this whole self-deprecating thing is seriously bumming me out.” Roman pointed firmly to the desk chair in front of him. “Now get your butt over here and be my friend!”

Virgil couldn’t help but snort at all that but tried his best cover it up with a cough. Sighing, he went over and sat back down. “Sorry, but I can’t really help the whole self-deprecation thing. I’ve always had it, just ask Patton.” Virgil shrugged, but he was wearing a small smile.

“Let’s tone it back to just the usual depressive humor, m’kay?” Roman smirked. He understood that Virgil was just like this, but Roman also didn’t want his friend to keep beating himself up.

Roman paused. Did he really just mentally address Virgil as his friend?

“I mean...I was having fun joking back there with you.” Roman admitted, rubbing his arm slightly as he looked directly up at Virgil. Now that Virgil had sat back down, they were so close. Roman looked down to ease the pressure on his neck. “I’ve always had fun with you if I’m honest. This whole teasing thing. It’s...nice.”

Virgil was silent for a moment. “I was too, having fun, I mean. It’s nice, cause like, Patton may be my best friend but I can’t tease him like this. He’s not that type of person. But it’s fun to tease someone you know won’t take it wrong and who will tease you right back.” Virgil admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. He found himself looking straight down at Roman, realizing how close they actually were.

“I...never really had a best friend,” Roman confessed. “That’s why I was always so against you and Patton leaving. I...good lord, this makes me sound desperate, but,” Roman shrugged, “I didn’t want to be alone.”

Virgil frowned. “But you’re...you. You’re outgoing and friendly, maybe a little overwhelming sometimes, but overall you seem like the perfect friend.” Virgil paused, realizing what he was saying. A blush settled on his cheeks. “I-I mean to other humans, not to me, of course.” He said, crossing his arms.

“I know!” Roman agreed, throwing his arms up dramatically. He began to pace back and forth, clearly passionate about this issue. “But everybody always has their best friend, and everybody else’s friends are their best friend and they probably all assume someone amazing as me already has a best friend or they’re too intimidated by my shimmering personality to ask or-”

Roman paused, stopping his pacing to fully process what Virgil had said. He put his hands on his hips, glaring at Virgil. “Now wait just a moment, what do you mean not to you?”

Virgil stared at Roman, before smirking. “I mean, no offense or anything, but I can’t have a friend whose ego is bigger than me.”

“That’s not fair.” Roman crossed his arms. “Now you’re just being ego-ist. Narcissists deserve borrower friends, too. Or at least this narcissist does.”

“Oh really? Well don’t expect me to do anything but bring you down a few pegs, none of us can afford your ego growing any bigger.” Virgil chuckled, sitting back with his arms crossed in a relaxed position.

“Once I’m back to my true self, I’ll have height and ego to spare.” Roman leaned forward, sticking his nose out and looking smug. “You want to cut me down to size? I’d like to see you try then.”

Virgil laughed. “Oh, you have no idea what I can do. When we’re back to normal, you better sleep with one eye open, because I will find a way.” Virgil leaned in close. “And that is a promise.”

“Bring it, storm cloud.” Roman didn’t even flinch as Virgil got closer, a fact Roman was quite proud of given his experiences as a borrower. Instead, Roman meaningfully stuck his pinkie out in Virgil’s direction.

Virgil, confused, leaned back a little. “What are you doing?”

“It’s a pinkie promise.” It took Roman a moment to remember Virgil wouldn’t know what that was. “We wrap our pinkie fingers around each other to make the promise unbreakable.”

“Uh, okay?” Kind of weird, but he’d seen humans do weirder. “But uh,” he looked from his pinkie to Roman’s. “Not sure how that’s supposed to work with us.”

“Hmm.” Roman hadn’t really thought of that. He trusted Virgil...but also Virgil had proven himself of being incapable of controlling his human strength, and Roman didn’t particularly want to break his pinkie. Roman winced at the thought.

“Ah, how about we just touch them together?” Roman amended his idea.

“I guess that works?” Virgil shrugged and lowered his hand, pinkie out, to Roman.

“Aaand...there!” Roman tapped his finger to Virgil’s, looking satisfied. “It’s a pinkie promise. That means no take-backsies. It’s the rules.”

Virgil hummed, taking his pinkie back and staring at it. “Humans are weird.”

“Oh, absolutely.” Roman nodded in solidarity. “But you like me anyways.”

“Unfortunately,” Virgil replied, smiling. “You ready to get going?” It wasn’t hard to see that the two had completed the goal they had come here to do.

“Ready when you are...friendo?” Roman was still not used to friend-themed nicknames.

“...I’d stick with your usual nicknames.” Virgil smiled, before offering his hand to Roman.

“You got it, dark knight.” Roman clambered onto Virgil’s hand.

#gt #Giant/tiny #thomas sanders #sanders sides #infinitesimal!sides #au #borrowers #virgil sanders #switched!virgil #patton sanders #switched!patton #roman sanders #switched!roman #logan sanders #switched!logan #platonic #lamp #switched perspective #part 18

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theeternalspace · 5 years

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In Memoriam 3

Summary: The metal tree had always fascinated the Prince.

Only, it wasn’t a tree.

And, as it turned out, he wasn’t really a Prince. Instead he was… a side of someone’s personality? He doesn’t remember Thomas, or the other sides, those who call themselves his friends. He doesn’t really remember anything, not even his own name, no matter the efforts of Patton, Logan or Virgil. He must venture back into the Wardrobe door, back to the metal tree in an attempt to recover his missing memories and regain everything he has lost.

But perhaps some doors are best left closed for a reason. And perhaps some personas should remain in the ground where they have been buried.

Story Warnings: Sympathetic/Grey Deceit Sanders. He is trying his best you guys. Anxiety. Self doubt and self loathing. Fantasy fighting. Verbal fighting. Threatening behaviour. Blood and injury. Memory loss. Drowning. Near death.

Previous || Next

Snow was still lightly falling as the two of them tumbled back into the woods, Roman caught Virgil as the darker dressed side half stumbled against the knee high snow surrounding them. He wasn’t sure what he expected the journey between the two realms to be, not really. In the end it had been like stepping through a doorway and finding the floor on the other side wasn’t the same level as the one you had just come from without any warning. At least Roman had been beside him, clearly more prepared for the transition, a soft smile on his face at knowing something Virgil hadn’t.

He was paranoid a lot of the time, constantly on the lookout for signs that the others might be laughing behind his back or something similar. Virgil knew that the smile was because of the stumble, the way in which Roman had been able to play the hero - and he also knew it wasn’t a smile of malice or that he had been expecting Virgil to fall. It had come after he supported him, after he realised that for the first time since this whole nightmare had begun, here was something that he knew at last.

Virgil had been waiting a long time for this moment. He knew that Roman would do this of course, because he might be without his memories but he was still the same brash, brave, bold idiot he had always been. Affectionately of course. He was just glad that he made the right choice in choosing to watch the Wardrobe entrance.

“Come on, my horse should be this way,” Roman told him, his soft smile shifting into something bright and excited. He suddenly seemed giddy, more at home here in the wild of the trees and snow banks than he had ever seemed moping around the living room and hoping for memories that didn’t come.

If Virgil didn’t know better he might have suspected that this was all a trick by Roman in order to get him to come and visit this world with him.

He exhaled harshly, breath slipping out like white smoke as he did his best to will such negative thoughts away. Roman wasn’t like that and it was wrong of Virgil to even imagine otherwise. Roman was his friend, even when he didn’t remember it and the creative side might be a lot of things, most of them annoying but he wasn’t cruel. Never cruel or cowardly.

Carefully, Virgil started to follow Roman, stepping in the footprints left by the other side so that he didn’t have to push against the dense white wetness quite so hard. It was still unpleasant going. Roman’s stride was just a little bit longer than his own so that he had to half hop from spot to spot to stay within the tracks left by his friend. Head dipped a little, bangs falling back over his eyes as he moved and almost his whole attention was focused on where he was going, on making sure he didn’t fall flat on his face as they went.

There was still that little bit of him watching the world around them, keeping an eye out for any potential danger, on guard against anything that might be lurking in wait. Virgil read the books and while he had no idea how much Roman had used them as inspiration, he knew that in the novels wolves and other dangerous beasts lay in wait for unsuspecting travellers. They were tamed by the time of King Peter, the role Roman had claimed for his own. Then again, the snow had gone as well by that point so whatever this place was, it wasn’t a completely faithful recreation of any one moment of the book. Instead, it seemed more a flavour of the whole series.

It was his job after all to keep Roman safe. It was one of the reasons as to why he had been so determined to join him in his quest to try and learn the truth but not the only one. Roman was his friend, and despite the bickering the two of them often took part in, Virgil cared for him deeply. He couldn’t just let Roman go running off into the wilds of the Imagination without some kind of backup, some support, who knew what might happen to him, what sort of state he might be in next time he stumbled back into the main mindscape. Roman was still his friend.

A friend who made him trudge through freezing cold frozen water.

There was way more snow that he expected, Virgil saw yet even more flakes start to fall, the sight bringing a fresh shiver through his body.

“I hate snow.” Virgil scowled as he spoke, arms wrapping around himself in a bid to try and keep a little warm. It wasn’t even that he hated snow, not really. Snowballs, snowmen, snow angels... with the right people, he was sure would be a lot of fun. It had never snowed in the mindscape since he had been accepted by the other light sides, and so he never really got to experience those sorts of things.

Snow rarely gotten as far as the dark sides area when he was growing up and although he had been sheltered from the worst of it, there had still been moments when he had been alone and at the mercy of some of the worst elements of Thomas’ mind. The Dark sides had delighted in hiding rocks inside snowballs that were then thrown at the anxious side or forced Virgil into a snowman, using their powers to trap him in the cold before his brother had been able to pull him f- no, he wasn’t going to think of that.

Virgil probably didn’t hate snow but it was hard to think of any positive memories.

He did hate the cold though. Hated the damp and the way it would sink into you without any escape, when you were stuck wearing the damp clothes and it just made you more aware of how uncomfortable you were and how far away from a nice warm room and fresh warm clothes. It just reminded you of misery you had endured to get to this point. He hated the constant feel of wet against skin, each step wrapping that pain deeper and deeper arou- and no, no, no, no, that was another thing he wasn’t going to think about.

The list of things not to think about was always changing and always long.

Roman hadn’t answered yet and that was something new about this version of Roman, something he wasn’t sure he liked. He was a lot less eager to engage with Virgil, a lot less willing to argue or tease him, probably because he didn’t know where the boundaries were. A better person would probably talk to Roman about it, would tell him that it was okay and that they fought like friends. A better person might even try and rein all of that in, try and behave like a better person while Roman’s memories were missing and he didn’t understand their friendship. Virgil’s plan mostly revolved around being his usual uncharming self in the hope that Roman might slip into his old behaviour and remember something.

Virgil lifted his head, staring at Roman who by now reached the lamp post and his horse, cooing over the beast softly. Roman looked... happier now they were here, a little more at ease. He seemed more relaxed now, hand lightly patting at the neck of his horse, Virgil just taking a moment to watch Roman. The regal looking side stood up taller now, no longer hunched into himself, no longer upset at every photo or item that screamed he was still a stranger.

Virgil supposed that made sense in a way. This was where his memories first started again and he knew these woods as a simple, uncomplicated thing. There was no annoying questions, no hurting pain to be found here and perhaps now that he didn’t need to be on his guard all the time against that and against the endless failures of not remembering something.

Here, he remembered where he had left his horse, here, he had a past even if it was only a short one. Here, Roman had hope and that meant that Virgil had hope in turn.

Really, Virgil would put up with a lot more than being cold and wet if it meant that he helped Roman feel even a fraction better about this mess they were in. He just hoped Patton wouldn’t be too upset when he woke up in the morning and found the note Virgil left taped to the door of the Wardrobe. Roman still hadn’t acknowledged him and the quiet started to make him feel a little antsy, the side picked up his pace and returned to half leaping from footprint to footprint. The snow fell so fast and thick that they were already half filled in and it was a wonder that the horse was okay; but then Roman probably originally designed it that way.

“So what is the plan Princey?” Virgil blurted out when he was only a few paces away from him, unable to handle the silence any longer. Roman blinked slowly, looking over at him and shrugging softly.

“I was on a quest... at least... I think I was...” Roman looked down at his horse again, a frown crossing his features as he trailed off before giving a soft little sigh and he was starting to look like the Roman from the mindscape again, worn down, weighed by sins he couldn’t remember but feeling the scars of his choices nevertheless.

“Okay,” Virgil prompted, wanting to know the plan, wanting Roman to be the brave and bold idiot he knew he was. He was meant to lead them in this quest, to make the choices that Virgil didn’t think he was capable of. Although it pained him to even think it, he knew that Roman was the hero and he was little more than the sidekick. Maybe the comic relief whose destiny it was to fall into every hole and trap laid out in front of them. God, he hoped that wasn’t what he was.

“I think I need to learn what it was? Or who sent me on it? Maybe do it? Or... something...” The confidence ebbed away from Roman with every word, self doubt creeping in its place and Virgil knew he was going to have to do something before this got even worse. Before Roman just gave up; crushing thoughts of doubt and defeat were Virgil’s speciality not his.

He was being selfish in wanting Roman to act as he used to, because this wasn’t the Roman that he knew but that didn’t mean that he couldn’t still be Roman. Virgil shouldn’t try and push him into acting how he thought he should act - Virgil knew only too well what it was like to be confronted with a mask not of your own choosing at every turn and feel that you had no choice but to wear it because it was what other people expected. He wouldn’t do that to Roman, even if it was for a good reason. Roman was still his friend, regardless of memories and he needed to stop acting otherwise.

Anxiously, Virgil looked around, hoping for inspiration to just drop from the sky and appear in front of him. Anything to just tell him what he was supposed to say or do next.

There was just snow and trees and more snow as far as the eye could see and maybe he did hate the stuff after all.

“Well that’s a great plan and all but there is only one horse...” Virgil found himself muttering, mind flailing and unable to come up with anything that wasn’t ‘point out all the flaws like the wet blanket he was’ plan. Plus, he was willing to go to a lot of lengths and put himself through plenty of embarrassing, uncomfortable, awkward or humiliating things but he drew the line at having to share a horse with Roman. He wasn’t going to do that.

Who was he kidding? Of course, he would, he just really, really, didn’t want to.

As if in answer to his complaint, a soft whinny drifting through the air towards them, a horse trotting out from the trees a moment later to wander over and join the little group.

Virgil felt something uncoil a little in his chest at the sight of the pale horse, a breath of relief slipping from his lips. Roman did this. Perhaps not on purpose, he probably had no idea as to the extent of his powers within the Imagination, no idea how the currents of Thomas’ mind bent so easily to his will. But somewhere inside of him, there was still the Roman who saw a problem Virgil pointed out and moved to fix it. He might not remember anything, but he was still Roman and that was what Virgil needed to focus on, not trying to make him act any other way. Because he would still be his friend.

“Hwin!”

“Hwin?” Virgil repeated, feeling that looseness instantly tighten once more, his nerves flaring to life and screaming that this was wrong. This was something to worry about even if he couldn't put his finger exactly on what was wrong.

“Yeah, that... that is her name? How did I know that?” Roman didn’t look pleased by the revelation, eyes widening a little as he looked between Virgil and Hwin, searching for some kind of answer.

“You know what I think you’re right. We need to find out more about your quest and who gave it to you,” Virgil hastily told him, trying to mask his own worry as best he could and focus on the plan once more. Roman didn’t know anyone else's' name, he didn’t even know what a Heffalump was and yet back in this world he knew the name of a random horse? Something was very wrong here, his vague sense of doom was working overtime, trying to draw his attention to something on top of the very large and very obvious worry of the memory loss.

He shook his head, dislodging small flecks of snow from his hair and creating a mini snow flurry within the still falling snow. Virgil only wished his own negative thoughts and fears could be dispelled as easily as those flakes had been.

“Come on, let’s get moving,” Virgil suggested, for once feeling that restless urge to not stand still. Some part of him wanted to retreat still, wanted to run away from all of this and just hide under the covers until the sun went away in the vague, ill defined hoped that this all might be some horrible nightmare and maybe things would magic themselves better.

They wouldn’t of course. And he couldn’t hide as he so badly wanted, which meant he had to face the issue as best he could, Virgil gingerly climbing up onto Hwin’s back. She seemed a placid sort, barely moving as he settled himself, before giving the very softest of whinnies as if in greeting. Roman mounted his own horse with far more grace and ease than Virgil, the anxious side idly wondering if it was some muscle memory at work there.

They rode almost side by side as the trees gradually began to thin out, giving them more room to move freely. The silence that settled around them was a little awkward but it wasn’t as bad as some of their interactions when they merely glared at each other across a room. There wasn’t that same heat here thankfully, there wasn’t that hate and Virgil knew it was sick and wrong of him but he couldn’t help but feel almost glad that Roman had lost his whole memory instead of just part of it. What did that say about him, that he was happier knowing Roman didn’t know anything about himself rather than the possibility that he might have some memories of their early years when they had not been friends.

The silence continued to stretch on around them. It was uncomfortable in that Virgil didn’t know what to say, too worried about bringing up any of the usual, safe topics they could talk about because Roman didn’t know anything about Disney now, or the videos, or even the Fanders. Let alone Thomas himself.

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Roman fidget slightly in his saddle, his head tilted a little to look towards Virgil and then away again, back to the white trail in front of them. There was something on Roman’s mind, some question he had that for whatever reason he was doing his best not to ask. Virgil bit at the inside of his cheek to keep himself from smiling at the way Roman squirmed slightly and he knew it wouldn’t be long before his self control broke. Roman never had been very good at holding his own curiosity in check.

“So what do you represent for Thomas anyway Virgil? Patton wouldn’t tell me.”

There it was. Virgil finally turned his head to look at him properly, instead of merely watching him in glances. Roman tried to look casual as he spoke, but the other side was doing a terrible job of it and Virgil could only imagine how curious he really had to be, how it had to be eating him up inside.

Bless Patton for not telling his secret. Bless him for knowing that Virgil would see it as an invasion of his privacy despite the fact that Roman already knew it. It wasn’t about the secret itself, but more the fact that Virgil wanted to be able to control the narrative, wanted to be there when Roman learnt the truth. That was all. No, that was a lie and he couldn’t lie, not even to himself.

It was also the secret itself. The dark, heavy secret of what he was. Some people listed Anxiety as a disease, a disorder and he knew in his heart that he was capable of becoming that. It didn’t matter how much he genuinely wanted to help Thomas and how his intentions had always been good, there was always that fear in the back of his mind, the knowledge that he could slip and become a danger no matter what he wanted. That he really was a Dark Side.

How could he tell Roman he was a Dark Side?

“Hmm... why don’t you tell me Princey? See if you can work it out, it can be like another quest?” Virgil kept his voice light, almost carefree as if it wasn’t anything important, as though it was nothing more than a game. “Who knows, maybe it will even help your memory loss if you can work it out... I’ll tell you if you guess right.”

For a moment there was silence as Roman considered his words, Virgil finding himself holding his breath and hoping that just once, something would go right for him and that he would swallow the - admittedly lame - excuse as to why he didn’t want to tell him.

“Oh I’ll figure it out, don’t you worry!” Roman promised at last, a slightly teasing smile of his own, on his lips. It made Virgil’s heart ache a little at the sight of it, at the trust that Roman placed so willingly into Virgil’s hands. It didn’t seem to occur to him even for a moment that there could be any other reason as to why Virgil didn’t want to admit his trait, why he hid such a basic thing from him.

It hurt, all the way down to the tattered remains of his soul, to think that Roman wholeheartedly believed that Virgil was something good.

Virgil just wasn’t ready to tell him what he really was and lose the friendship they had been starting to create. He wasn’t ready to go back to the earliest days of their existence when they had hated each other, when neither had been prepared to trust the other and each convinced that their way of doing things, was the only way for Thomas, the only way to truly help him.

Thomas. He hoped their host was doing alright

What was he thinking? He knew better, he knew exactly how Thomas was handling this because when he hadn’t been guarding the Wardrobe and waiting for Roman to try and use it, he watched over Thomas and tried not to bite his thumb nail to pieces. He saw how Thomas was managing over these past few days, how he was getting by moment to moment.

Thomas wasn’t doing so good.

Not without his creativity, without that drive, that push. It wasn’t just his work that suffered - although that of course grinded to a standstill. Thomas barely had the inspiration to send out even the most basic of tweet letting his fans know he was okay let alone work on any project. It was his whole life that seemed to stop. He didn’t have the creative desire to cook anything more than the most basic of foods because anything else required imagination or the desire to make something bright, bold, different. As for the play... well, it was a good thing they were as far along as they were and that Thomas had been able to get through the last rehearsal without needing to offer any real advice although Virgil was sure the actors would have benefited from it. It had been hard enough for Virgil to persuade him to go along to it at all.

Without Roman, there were a lot of things that Thomas didn’t do. Virgil never really realised how much he brought to Thomas’ overall personality. He knew that Roman was super important of course, and that Thomas needed him but there were so many other parts of his life that Virgil never really thought would be tied so strongly to his creativity. Even something like a video game or movie was a chore these days because he lacked any desire to really connect to characters or story. Without that, he was left wanting to watch only the most popcorn of movies, things with explosions, action and not much thought.

Is this what it felt like when he had ‘ducked out’? Except he had done it on purpose, of course, not caring - or caring too much - about what his absence would do to Thomas. He never expected it to be such a big deal as it seemed to be. Some part of Virgil, in the dark small hours of the early morning even wondered if it had been as noticeable as they said, if he really mattered at all.

That didn’t matter. He might not matter. What mattered was that Thomas needed his creativity back before he stopped cooking completely.

Yet another reason why they had to fix this as quickly as possible.

“I thought the animals in Narnia could talk?” Virgil asked, trying to change the subject. Roman shrugged, apparently nonplussed by the question.

“Not that I know of,” he replied, Hwin giving another soft neigh. In agreement or protest? Either way it seemed as those animal noises was all that she was capable of doing. They should talk though. He remembered that from the book. Not just the magical Aslan but almost every animal had been able to because animals made up almost the whole population. They weren’t going to get very far if they couldn’t question the animals.

“Roman... do me a favor? Believe that they can talk? Like, really believe it?”

“Why?”

“Just, trust me, please,” Virgil pleaded, and he had no idea if this would even work or not but Roman still had power here, even if he didn’t remember. Virgil just hoped this would be enough.

“Okay...” Roman closed his eyes for a moment, face screwing up a little in concentration as he seemed to physically will himself to believe. It was yet another example of trust that Virgil knew he really didn’t deserve.

“Hey can you guys talk?” Virgil asked after a moment, pushing down the thought of how ridiculous this was, talking to a pair of horses. He didn’t know if his own feelings would influence this or not but he didn’t want his anxious energy to overwhelm Roman’s creative desires, he didn’t want to ruin this like he ruined everything and what was he thinking, trying to change the way the world worked just so they could get some info-

“Indeed we can Master Virgil. I am Bree, a pleasure to make your acquaintance.” The head of the horse Roman was riding turned to look back at them, a deep voice emanating from him.

“What in the heckity heck?” Roman yelped, jumping a little in his seat, hand pressed against his heart.

“Wow... I didn’t think that would work...” Virgil breathed, eyes wide. Roman really was powerful, a hand lifting to rub at the back of his neck awkwardly as a new thought occurred to him, and somehow being on the back of a horse that could talk seemed so much worse than riding one that couldn’t. “Is... uh... are you okay with us... riding you both?”

“I am honoured to guide such a noble prince, I chose to carry my Prince, believe me if we did not wish you upon our backs, you would not be there.” There was a hint of steel, of pride to those words that Virgil didn’t doubt them and he was suddenly struck by the mental image of being tossed from Hwin’s back and then stomped to death by hooves. Virgil made a note to never anger the horses.

“Sweet. Okay, okay... um... do you know what happened to Roman?”

“Happened?” Bree asked. They stopped in the middle of the path, shifting a little so that they were now facing each other. Roman still looked faintly shocked by the whole thing and Virgil wasn’t sure if it was because the horses were suddenly talking or if he had worked out the link as to why they were.

“His memory only goes back a short way, the first thing he remembers is-”

“Is you,” Roman finished, voice surprisingly steady despite the expression on his face. His hands curled tightly around the reins, knuckles almost turning white. “The first thing I truly remember is riding through the woods with you, to the metal tree.”

“You were talking to the White Wizard when I saw you for the first time,” Bree offered thoughtfully, head dipping up and down a little as he spoke.

“The... White.. Wizard..” Virgil parroted back, face as blank as his voice. A White Wizard. Great. So it seemed as though Roman had managed to put more elements into this world from the books than he had first thought. With his own spin on it of course, but he shouldn’t be surprised that there was a Wizard at play. Virgil refused to join in so of course Roman made a new villain in his place, forced to revert to the story.

Or maybe he was being unfair and there would always have been a White Wizard. Why have one enemy when you can have two and make things that much harder for yourself?

“Indeed. He rules this land, some whisper unjustly but without anyone stepping forward claiming to be the rightful heir there is nobody willing to risk rebellion, to want to try and topple him. For all that he has done, good and ill, he at least rules and brings order of a sort to the land.”

“Some might say order at the point of a wand is no order at all.” Hwin spoke for the first time, her voice low, a barely there whisper as though she hardly dared make her point at all. Bree gave a snort of disapproval, head twitching away to examine the treeline for a moment before glancing back, large dark eyes narrowed in disapproval.

“Anyway. As I was saying. The White Wizard told me that you were the Prince of the realm, his Prince, and that I had to aid you in your quest. I could hardly refuse.”

“Did he tell you what it was?” Roman asked eagerly, leaning forward as if that would somehow make the answer easier to hear or get the one he wanted. Virgil was more concerned about the way Bree looked at the trees, as though fearful of unfriendly ears listening. A White Wizard put a whole new spin on things and added an extra layer of danger that Virgil really did not like.

True, he didn’t like any layer of danger, but this was something extra spicy and so extra disliked.

“I’m afraid not. Only that it concerned another member of his family and it was very important. I can take you to where we met if that helps?” Bree offered, Roman breaking out into a relief and slightly shaky smile.

“That sounds wonderful,” He enthused. Virgil tried to offer a smile of his own, although it didn’t feel as real as Roman’s. It was a good idea, it would probably help but there was still a Wizard to deal with. For the first time, he considered the possibility that this hadn’t been an accident or mishap on Roman’s part. What if this was some plot by a malicious element of Thomas’ mind, if there was a real enemy here? If this was all a plan. What if this was a trap?

Nobody commented on the fakeness of his smile and so he felt as though he had gotten away with it. Virgil pushed away the thought with all his resolve that he had only gotten away with it because none of them knew him well enough to know the difference between them.

He wasn’t going down that road. Despite the fact he had already done so.

Bree started to move himself and Roman once more. With a soft click of his tongue, Virgil gently urged Hwin on, following the other two as they turned to the south, breaking away from the trail and following the treeline. For a brief moment there was silence, Virgil turning over his thoughts in his head, running around in circles and not coming up with any sort of real idea or plan.

“So... did I change things in this world so that Bree and Hwin can talk?” Roman asked

“Uh...” Virgil shrugged helplessly, unsure exactly what to say. It could be dangerous if he admitted the kind of power that Roman actually possessed when he was without his memories - especially if he learnt what Virgil really was - but then again, there could be a danger if he denied Roman had done that. There was the possibility that Roman could make all sorts of things by accident. He didn’t know which was the safer option, so he went with the one that felt as though it was right.

“I think so. You have the power to control everything in this world, you’re Creativity after all. You made all of this because Thomas is deeply involved in the production of a play set in this world and that has pretty much swallowed up all his thoughts and energy. You wanted to be able to play too.”

“Everything?” Roman asked, eyebrow lifting in disbelief. “Surely not everything Virgil. There has got to be a line?”

That was another thing that was all wrong, the easy way in which he used his name and never once seemed to even consider coming up with any nicknames of his own. Their relationship started with nicknames, even if they had been hurtful ones a lot of the time. It had still been something to connect them, something that only they really shared and a small part of Virgil had actually enjoyed them, no matter how mean they became.

During those cold, lonely years, he would lie in bed late at night and pull those words close to him and lie to himself, pretending that they were inside jokes, that they were proof of comradely because it was something only the two of them did, instead of facing the sharp reality that Roman never needed to try and hurt Logan or Patton. Virgil lied to himself a lot back then, because it had seemed the only way to survive but he knew better now. Roman hadn’t meant those nicknames affectionately but that was okay because they had both grown since then and Roman had even apologised for them. Virgil in turn, admitted that he hadn’t really hated them and so they had been resurrected in a new form.

He exhaled, forcing a long breath of air out through his mouth, trying to focus back on the matter at hand, watching as it shifted into visible vapour, pale smoke curling from his lips like the Dragon Witch of old. Roman probably didn’t remember her either.

“Everything,” Virgil assured him, letting another faint, slightly fake smile curl up on his lips. “Just... don’t think of the Stay Puft Man or anything like that okay?”

“The what?”

“Sorry, wow, that was dumb of me.” Part of Virgil wanted to crawl away and find some hole to just die in because what had he been thinking, quoting something at someone who had no memory? It was rude and insensitive and just the sort of thing that Anxiety was likely to do. References were not a good idea right now. Virgil exhaled again, fingers playing with the reins nervously, dancing across them.

“It’s from a movie, the heroes are told their thoughts would destroy them and you know what, when we get home, even when you have your memories back, we are watching Ghostbusters, okay?”

When. When Roman got his memories back. Virgil said the words with such an easy confidence, an assurance that this was going to work, a belief that no matter how he sounded, he certainly didn’t feel. Perhaps by saying the words he would be able to make them come true.

“Just don’t think of anything dangerous,” he added.

“Got it...” Roman promised, hand lifting in what once would have been a mock salute but was probably deadly serious. Virgil bit down the urge to make a comment, harshly reminding himself this wasn't the Roman he knew. He couldn't tease him as he might have done because things were different and he had to be so careful.

Not a second later an ear splitting roar cut across them, Virgil’s head whipping backwards and forwards in a frantic effort to locate the origin of the sound. The very earth seemed to tremble a little as the trees a little way ahead and to the left crashed to the ground, a monstrous beast charging out to face them. It had multiple heads from various animals jutting out from the shoulders, not to mention huge wings which only made the creature tower over them all the more. Somewhere behind it, he could hear hissing and clicking, breath catching in his throat as he watched twin tails of a snake and a scorpion lift menacingly aimed in their direction. Virgil stared in horror at the beast, face ashen pale. It looked... it looked like...

“A manticore-chimera?! You made a manticore-chimera?” Virgil shrieked, staring at the large beast in front of them and suddenly feeling very faint. How on earth were they supposed to handle something like that?

This was so much worse than the Stay Puft Man.

“I didn’t mean to!” Roman protested, eyes wide, hands lifting and falling in a quick motion, a flurry of denial and confusion. “I wasn’t even thinking about it... I don’t think I was, I was thinking but nothing... bad. I swear.”

“Undo it! Undo it!”

“How!” Roman yelled back, his tone distinctly panicked now as the lion head roared angrily, various tails swishing back and forth. The air was alive with all manner of growls and hisses as the beast whipped itself up into a fury.

The goat head lowered, an increasing feeling of doom washing over Virgil and he had only a split second warning before it charged, bearing down directly on them, murderous intent obvious.

#sanders sides #in momoriam #aca writes #long post

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