#everyone wants them to just fuck the bard and not eachother

[eileensdress]

Ok you cannot tell me it’s not a little bit funny that twn writers got so sick of geraskier somehow being the main ship that they FINALLY made someone a little fruity

#im all for representation and i think it’s completely correct that jaskier is bi #i feel like it’s a pretty well-understood thing that most bards Are Not Straight #but i also think it’s really funny because they’re 100% trying to get geralt/yennifer to interest people #and they realized jaskier is the ONLY THING in the way #its just funny as fuck to me that their version of damage control post-cavill is ‘make it all a bit gayer’ #someone in the tags mentioned yennskier also being more popular than yenralt and GOD youre so right #everyone wants them to just fuck the bard and not eachother #the witcher #witcherposting #jaskier #geraskier #geralt of rivia

[ideas-scattered-dreams]

/ / REVENGE.

fandoms: Genshin impact AU!: imposter creator

imagine that... "kill them!", "this filthy sinner cannot be forgiven!", "how dare u impersonate our grace!" yells of hatred sparked from the mortals of teyvat. why did this happen to you. you were innocent, a mere player that loved genshin. You were shaking on your knees, bound to a damn statue that was similar to you, you had read hundreds of these imposter stories au type. laughed at some, angry at some, but in the true reality you were scared of this possibility to happen. When you first woke up in teyvat you just wanted to adventure and find out the true nature of your fav game, but alas that is what every imposter chasing begins... you ran from all of the different nations each and every minute u get the chance... but unfortunately for you. you have finally been captured by the damn anemo archon. A pair of shoes were Infront of you. the Geo archon... rex lapis stand Infront of you, he had the face of disgust. Ei the electro archon was besides him aswell as the anemo archon Barbatos. they were giving a speech on what will happen to you.. you were... gonna die. No... NO! you weren't gonna die! not yet! you still have a future, a goal, a dream! u cant die not now.. no no no no!! tears swell in your eyes, you cant... but you are now absolutely weak. You are just a mere mortal in the end of the day. "as the punishment by stealing our graces face you shall be beheaded!" venti announced loudly making the mortals and adepti cheer in excitement. didn't you fucking steal your friends face because u were to weak to protect them? and being fucking beheaded! you don't wanna be len kagamin every wednesday!

The shogun stood behind you, her Musou no Hitotachi ready to strike you down. "what are your final words imposter.." fuck fuck, you were really gonna die by dumbasses. you knew u were the creator really, but u didn't know how to control ur powers as u never had time to even relax and find out. but you knew... your child. teyvat was always by your side... they.. were always by your side!

You laughed startling everyone, they were silent as u continue to laugh louder and louder, "y-you" The shogun was shaking with rage how dare you laugh in this damn situation, are u... mocking the creator? tch. As the shogun striked down you shouted. "I WILL NEVER FORGIVE U ALL, I MAY BE FORGOTTEN AND FORGET, BUT NO MATTER WHAT MY CHILD WILL TAKE REVENGE FOR ME! MARK MY-" sliced. splat. thud. golden and starry blood splattered everywhere, to the statue, near some citizens and adepti, the two archons and most especially... the shogun.

Silence. your head rolled infront of the two archons, the archons had a shocked and terrified expression. "a..." screams arised from everyone, they just killed their creator! the archons were stuck in their place... then chaos.

Teyvat began to shake , the ground cracks and thunder struck on the place where u died. the statue of you glowed and came to life, gripping and taking the archons and throwing them all over the place, all elemental regisvine grew in the borders, monsters, hilichurls, abyss mages has began to run rampage and killing people.

all the dead Archons has arised and is taken to battle. Guizhong, the 4 yakshas, nameless bard... and all the dead characters has risen to torment and fight to avange your death.. their dear creator.. screams of terror, cries of sorrow and yelling of apologies, it was just pure chaos.

but.. in the spot on where you were killed, the statue of you was embracing two children.. a boy and a girl, they were sobbing as the statue of you began to crumble and turn to dust... "parent.... dont go..." you children sobbed, they embraced eachother as the chaos continued, you were sleeping in your bed. a dream? u were having a nightmare (name) but it is ok.. so dream away to not worry no more.

a/n: im still new to genshin and the imposter creator au, so sorry if some dont make sense

#➥🌙dreamer.ideas #genshin impact #imposter au #genshin x male reader #genshin x female reader #genshin x gn reader #genshin x nb reader #creator au genshin #sagau

[tenjikyu]

𝘋𝘳𝘶𝘯𝘬 𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘬 𝘩𝘰𝘮𝘦 - 𝘔𝘪𝘵𝘴𝘬𝘪 - 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘝

౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ Finally, the finale! After wayyyyy too long , fluff, the ending idk how to feel about but you’re getting what you’re getting and I wanna be done with this series already + I need modivation to get back into writing , it gets pretty romantic with Freminet but nowhere near NSFW.

PART IV • GENSHIN M.LIST

Tag list - @fisbred @gimmealamp @lucianidealz @sleepdeprivedpotato @unemiart @camryn-ciel67 @aruaruru @danika-redgrave124 @bunbunboysworld @kaoyamamegami @aphxdea @red1sg0ne @sleepndacloud @squishyboo @ally674 @hoo-hoo @probablynoposts @junevtv @og-winnie @exrellian @f0th3rr @cb97s-laptop @moonjellyfishie

The familiar green bard before you took off his hat with a bow, sending a friendly wave towards the other three in the room, whom were sharing knowing glances. In the many times you recounted your story to them, the green bard remained consistent with each retelling. You spoke of him with the fondest eyes, and the siblings could almost feel the pure love the bard had for you even before meeting him themselves.

In a count of shock, you quietly excused the both of you to the fontainian siblings, before closing the door behind yourself.

The two of you went on an emotional and very much sentimental walk, reminding you of the days you would talk to Venti about your problems and your struggles. About how Diluc’s 180 change in personality once he came back from Snezhnaya was a scary turn of events. About how Kaeya’s icy attitude rivalled his vision, and how much it upset you. About how the knights and maids couldn’t seem to get off your ass, despite your best efforts at politely telling them to fuck off.

You reminisced about your time in Fontaine to the archon, and Venti only nod his head and gave you a smile as he walked alongside you, pretending that he hadn’t snuck into the nation countless times to check in on you. You spoke of your growing relationship with the Fatui member, and how the Hearth children had taken you in as one of their own. How Navia had taken you under her wing and you didn’t spend a cent whenever she was around. How you and the former Hydro Archon were each others comfort buddies whenever bad thoughts came to mind, and how you aided eachother into adapting to the new world around yourselves.

As you recited your amazing time spent in Fontaine, the more and more you realised to yourself that you really didn’t want to go home. In the moment, you wouldn’t have noticed it, but looking back on it, it was clear that was Venti’s intention the entire time. He knew you better than you knew yourself, and he could see the internal debate you had been having with yourself since the incident. And so, giving you the chance to clear your mind if the bad, you had come to the conclusion that you didn’t want to return to Mondstadt anytime soon.

“Mondstadt will always be the home of your birth, however it’s also the nation of Freedom. Freedom to fly wherever you want to go, and wherever you want to build your nest and settle down. No matter how long you stray from Mondstadt, it will always have a home waiting for you.”

Venti’s little speech had you in tears, and he opened up his arms just like all those years ago.

In a world full of uncertainty and the unknown, the arms of an angel would always be there to embrace you.

“At last, we’ve made it back to Fontaine!” Lyney practically combusts. Everyone around could see how dearly he was missing Fontaine, especially his twin sister who heard ALL about it.

“Hey (Y/N), wanna go for a dive later?” Freminet questions out of the blue, and you nod your head. You knew whenever he went into the ocean unexpectedly, in this case the second you got back from a LONG trip, that he had something private he wanted to discuss with you, and so you made sure to never decline.

As the day came to an end, you prepared your diving gear that freminet had ever so graciously bought you for your birthday (yk him being rich and all, fatui money goes hard) and met freminet at the rendezvous.

As he took your hand in his own, he guided into the water as he’d done dozens of times before. The oceans of Fontaine never seized to amaze you. Its gentle touch soothed your skin to the core, and as you descended into the depths of the ocean, Freminet never once let go of the grasp on his fingers.

The two of you enjoyed what the ocean had to offer you. Freminet tended to stick closer to the top of the water when you accompanied him, too paranoid to take you deeper as you weren’t as experienced as he was. Regardless, you continued admiring natures aquatic gifts. You found pearls, danced with domestic blubber beasts, picked flowers and located lost treasures. All the whole, Freminet was yet to let go of your hand, not because he was afraid of you running off, but because he simply refused to let go.

Freminet never wanted to let go of your hand.

Freminet never wanted to let go of you.

The skies soon turned dark, and signs of a storm were appearing, so Freminet was quick to escort you out of the water. What was originally subtle signs of a storm was now a full blown storm, and running back to the gates & all the way back to your home, all the while laughing your asses off, was having you fall further and further in love with every step you ran.

By the time you made it inside, the lighting was begging to strike & you immediately went to lighting a fire in order to help the both of you warm up. Freminet removed his cost he chucked over himself when collecting your left-behind gear, and it suddenly dawns on you how beautiful Freminet was on the outside. You always admired Freminet’s inner beauty, his charming and reserved nature, yet sticking up for himself and his own if needed, but you never really took the time to admire how gorgous he truly was. His hourglsss waist, his long golden hair, his long eyelashes, his slender thighs. His form captured your attention, and it didn’t take long for Freminet to catch your gaze.

“(Y/N), is there something on my face?” Freminet questions,

“Nah, come sit down by the fire, you just be freezing” you murmur out, patting the ground next to you.

The both of you sit in comforting silence, a common occurrence between the two of you. But for the first time, a bubbling urge rose from your stomach.

You wanted his lips.

You knew how he felt, and you had for awhile. Freminet kinda… sucked, at hiding his feelings for you, especially his ruined confession. And so, you decided to take the lead for once.

You slowly grabbed his chin, and his eyes widened in surprise. You slowly took his face in your hand, and tilted your head as you neared his face.

He didn’t take his eyes off you the entire ordeal, and as he closed his eyes, you took it as a sign to finally seal the deal.

You gently pecked his lips. It was somewhat quick and gentle, however when he leaned in and kissed you again, you couldn’t hold back any longer.

Freminet slowly moved into your lap, kissing you not with lust, but with passion. You grasped his slim waist and continued the assault of kisses on his face. The both of you continued your passionate yet loving make out session until you were both out of breath.

As you parted away from eachother, Freminet took your cheeks in his frigid hands and pecked your cheeks, before cuddling into your lap. Leaning against the couch, the both of you held eachother closley, absorbing eachother’s warmth.

“You have no idea how long I’ve waited to do that” Freminet giggles, before cuddling closer into your neck. You sighed gently to yourself, before shaking your head lightly.

The both of you fell asleep embracing eachother that night, and suffered the consequences of not properly washing up after being in the rain. (Lyney fussed over the both of you, cooing at how cute the both of you looked with bright red cheeks and blocked noses. Lynette, ever your saviour, made herbal tea to quench your aching throats.)

A knock was heard at the door of the Winery, and Diluc’s curiosity heightened. First, Kaeya had received a letter in scribbled handwriting to meet at the Dawn Winiry (with a cheeky drawing of a certain musician at the bottom of it), leading Diluc into letting him in. Then, the charming melody of a lyre enveloped the air, which seemingly had no bard tuning it.

Now, a knock at the door?

Kaeya and Diluc looked at eachother, and decided to open the door. After all, the person knocking is either someone else who received a letter or is the mastermind behind this little scandal.

And so, on the count of three, the opened the door.

Three…

Two…

One..

“Hey Diluc, Kaeya. Long time no see, huh?”

Thank you to my OG DWH series followers, I can’t thank you enough for the patience with me and this series. Hope this didn’t disappoint.

#genshin impact #genshin #genshin x reader #genshin x male reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x male reader #ragbros #diluc #kaeya #freminet #freminet x reader #freminet x male reader #lyney #lynette #lyney and lynette

[creepy--claws]

Creepy. SexymanStuck AU.

it's like.. Set in 2013 and the game is fully released to the public.

The kids n trolls(4 now):

- Onceler (knitsWit [KW] ), Prince of Light (huge thanks 4 Ziin for helping meh with this)

- Junko (aphroditesBitch [AB]), Witch of Rage

- Queen (digitizedDiva [DD] ), Rogue of Void

- Popee/Hanabishi (lunaticPierrot [LP]), Bard of Heart

- Nagito (muttsAmbition [MA]), Prince of Hope, Cobalt.

- Scourge (hemoglobinUnguis [HU]), Prince of Blood, Olive.

- Bill (psychadelicArmegeddon [PA]), Lord of Rage, Purple.

- Jessie (serpentineVanity [SV]),Knight of Heart, Violet

-Reigen (metaphysicalPhony [MP]), Thief of Mind, Teal

-Tony (kronossVexation [KV]), Heir of Time (thanks again Ziin!), Jade

- Marceline (vampiricRocker [VR]), Knight of Blood, Rust

The Guardians + Dancestors (4 now):

-Mettaton (Queen's dad)

-Isabelle (Onceler's mom)

-Nichiteru/Papi (Hanabishi/Popee's dad)

-Mukuro (Junko's sister)

-Kaworu (Nagito's dancestor)

- Joxter (Scourge's dancestor)

-Yosano (Jessie's dancestor)

-Cecil (Bill's dancestor)

-Homura (Tony's dancestor)

-Marshall (Marceline's dancestor)

-Cedric (Reigen's dancestor)

Ancestors (4 now):

- The Fake Idol/Gromaeda (Kaworu & Nagito)

- The Huntsman/Bokutachi San (Joxter & Scourge)

-The Swordswoman/Peko (Yosano & Jessie)

Random funny facts! :

- Hatsune Miku is the Nic Cage of this whole fuckin thing

- Junko and Onceler met on moviestarplanet, Popee and Queen met on a Vocaloid RP forum

-The Fake Idol and Huntsman are doomed boy yuri. this ends up making their descendants either love eachother or be best friends

- everyone, if not most of them calls Onceler "Hatfreak"

-Nagito's typing quirk is 4 and Kaworu's is 12. Why? Because 4x3=12

-Nichiteru and Mettaton worked together once at a show

- There's a running joke where Nagito ends up headless one way or another, I mean his dancestor IS Kaworu after all

- sometimes, Vocaloid songs are used as symbolism.

- Onceler's mom is homophobic so he knits in his room in secret because he didn't want his mom to think he was a sissy.

- order of who connected to who:

Onceler > Junko > Hanabishi > Queen

- Scourge dresses emo

- Onceler has Dirk's splinter problem (again, thank you Ziin)

- Sans and Papyrus are the cherubs in this and their juju is actually a fucking rocket pop

- I have a fucking hs weekly account of 4$ale (Onceler♠Nagito) on TWT and I post there on thursdays.

Playlist thing 4 Ancestor story:Voices of Svaahaa, Alice of Human Sacrifice, Song For Great Satan, Sleepyhead, De Kieru and Ballooon Syndrome.

So basically Gromaeda starts a cult, a few members find out what's been going on behind the scenes and in the end Gromaeda execution by beheading. this is also the reason why there's a running gag about Nagito losing his head alot.

misc songs I associate with this: You In The Building, Ekoroshia, Fun Escape From The Human Flesh Forest, Cotton Candy, Dancing in circles until my little clown feet fall off, Neri Chika & ZONED.

Hoooky shir dude. This is the longest I assume idk

n e ways hope u liek it!!

[● Going to pretend Junko isn't in this

Also I'm going to assume Scourge is from Warrior Cats and if that's true, holy piss that's funny and awesome (I am a huge Scourge fan bc he's just like me fr)

This is kind of epic and I like the 2000s/2010s world building you've done to make it feel like homestuck, and sort of make it feel realistic in a way

I also appreciate the care you gave into everything, like selecting the dancestors and ancestors for the characters, selecting their chum/trollian handles, and even the Gromaeda stuff. I also appreciate the song associations you made, I only recognize like 2 but I think they're very fitting. Thanks again for this epic post!]

[wolfish-trickster]

Old oak tree

Loki x female!reader

Word count: 2,3K+

Warning: typos, angst, itsi bitsi fluff at the end

Tag list: @gaitwae @lucywrites02 @hard-to-be-the-bard @birdgirl90 @laramoonworld @forevernthensome @kozkaboi

"So, what do you think?" Loki asked spreading his arms and showing you his new outfit.

You shrugged. "Looks good to me."

"Don't you think it's too much?" he checked himself in your mirror.

"Is anything EVER too much for you?" you asked with a smirk.

"I just...I really like her and I don't want to mess up."

"You won't, trust me," you reassured him.

He hugged you tightly, to your surprise. "What would I do without such a friend like you?"

The younger prince bolted from your room faster than you could answer. You sighed and closed the doors after him so no one could hear your heart breaking, again.

You and Loki were friends. Best friends actually. But you started to to see him more than that years ago. And you hated it.

You already accepted the fact he'll see you as only his supportive friend. If only he could stop asking you to help him woo his love interests. He always asked your opinion on everything. Flowers, his outfits, gifts he wanted to give them.

Once he even asked to kiss you so he could practice. It was in general your and his first kiss ever. Your head spinned when your life long best friend and crush in one person gently placed his lips on yours, his tongue sliding to your mouth. When he pulled away he just mumbled simple 'thanks' and ran away, leaving you flustered and with a face on fire under your favourite tree. At first you often sat under that old oak, remembering the feeling and smiling to yourself. However with every new interest of Loki you started to avoid the poor tree. Hate it even. You hated how it represented how you foolishly threw away your first kiss.

You still stood by Loki. What else could you do? Confess your feelings? As if that'll help.

You started to see pattern in his interests and you never managed to tic the boxes. You were only average among everything; intelligence, looks, skills. There were hundred and one people who were exactly like you. Loki would never choose you over a noble woman or man he was used to courting.

Now, when you were finally alone, you could think about what are you going to do about your never ending crush. You layed down on your bed and stared at your white ceiling. You already tried to avoid him in hopes you will loose your feelings for him, that didn't work. You wrote down every negative thing about him, trick your mind he isn't a good boyfriend material. Didn't work either since he is the kindest person you've ever met. And the gentlest. And nicest. With the most beautiful smile and eyes. And arms that give the coziest hugs.

"Fuck," you whispered and closed your eyes. It always ended like this. No matter how much you tried, you could never see him as something less than a great person he was.

Suddenly you heard his melodic laughter under your windows. As well as some girl's. You couldn't take it anymore.

"You know what? If he can date around, so can I!" you told yourself in pure desperation to get rid of the jealousy and pain from knowing he will never love you.

First thing you did was hiding everything he gave you as a child, every little trinket you cherished in false thought he's starting to catch feelings for you. You removed all of it from your shelves and put in a big box sliding it under your bed.

There, now onto the more complicated part: the oak of your very first kiss. Your heart ached with every step you took towards it. It was already old and not so full of life like it used to be. Its bark was dry and overgrown with moss. The poor thing didn't have enough energy to grow its leaves as viscoulsy like few years ago. No one visited it anymore. It was lonely just like you.

"Looks like you're few years from death, old buddy," you patted its trunk. "Let's end your missery now."

*

You were on your way back to your room holding a little pot filled with soil. Nothing was growing out yet, but in few months you were expecting a small oak sappling to grow. You couldn’t say goodbye to your old wooden friend just yet.

There, deep in halls, sounds are resonating. Sounds you soon came to hate. Kissing, Loki chuckling, some woman moaning, door closing.

You sadly looked down at the pot and took the biggest diversion to your room, avoiding coming any near Loki's bedroom.

*

Few days later you still avoided Loki. That time was the first time he had brought anyone to his bedroom to do....that. It was good he didn't ask you to practice on you. If he did, you would've.... you don't know what would you do. Probably panic first and get angry next.

While Loki was, let's say, occupied you got closer to one soldier, Arne. He was kind, tall, ginger with freckles and very skilled fighter. He wasn't the smartest but he had a sense of humor and always tried to make you laugh. He wasn't Loki though, but it didn't matter. At least you kept yourself busy, so your heart could heal.

Right now you were in stables with Arne. He was telling you how he got his first horse when he finished his soldier training few decades back. You were braiding his mare's mane as he stood right beside you, his shoulder lightly touching yours. Everything was at peace.

"Y/N! Y/N, WHERE ARE YOU?" came Loki's voice.

Almost everything.

You turned your head towards his voice. He was rushing towards you until he stopped when he noticed Arne standing so close to you.

"Am I interrupting something?" he asked a little irritated.

"Well-"

"It doesn't matter, I have to show you something," he took you by the hand and started dragging you out of the stables only for you to slip your hand from his and hugging Arne. "See you tomorrow," you waved him goodbye and walked out, Loki trailing after you.

"So, what is it you wanted to show me?"

"What the Hel was that?" he pointed at you and behind him at the stables, completely ignoring your question.

"A hug. Why?"

"Since when are you hugging random soldiers? And since when are you even hanging out with low ranking soldiers like Hofferson?"

"His first name is Arne, and I'm allowed to hug whoever I want. Same goes for hanging out. Now are you going to show me the thing or can I return to him?"

"Right," he remember, took your hand again and ran to gardens. To the familiar now empty corner. "Look what some bastard did," he pointed at the wide oak stump.

"Yeah, I know."

"You do? Oh, darling," he threw his arms around you. You fought with yourself internally to not hug him back, but being close to him after a very long time felt just too good not to give in.

"I'm so sorry. I know it was your favourite tree. I will find the culprit and-"

"You don't have to," you interrupted and pulled yourself away from him.

"I do! That tree meant a lot to me too. I was actually working on a spell to bring life into it again."

"And how exactly did it mean a lot to you? I never saw you even near that tree."

Loki stuttered. "E-ehm, we had our first kiss underneath it."

"As if that meant anything to you," you muttered.

"What?"

"I said it was old and it had to be cut down."

"Well you could've asked me before you killed it," he spat rather angrily.

"My family planted it, I get to do whatever I want with it!"

"Did it mean so little to you?"

"No. On the contrary, it meant the world to me! That's why I had to cut it down!"

"What? Why? I don't understand you," he shook his head.

"Well excuse me for wanting to destroy the biggest thing that reminded me how my best friend stole my first kiss!"

"Stole? I asked and you complied!" Loki defended himself.

You groaned. "Okay fine, you didn't steal it, I lost it. Now can I go back to Arne?"

"Lost it?! Have you got any idea how many people would murder for a kiss from a prince? And why do you want to go to Arne so desperatelly? You never talked to soldiers before, so why the change of heart?"

"I like him, he's nice and courageous and-"

"I forbid it."

"What?!" you couldn't believe your ears.

"I forbid it. You can't whore around with soldiers like him, think about your reputation!" he crossed his arms infront of him.

"Whore around? Look who's talking! You've had at least 5 lovers in the past month!"

"T-that's different."

"And how exactly is it different, Loki?"

"I-"

You waited. Nothing came out of him.

"That's what I thought."

*

Few days passed, you continued avoiding Loki and he started to close off from everyone. Occasionally you saw some green sparkles in a shape of a person sitting on the oak stump. You figured that must be Loki under cloaking spell. All you wanted to do was run to him and hug him, he looked so depressed and lonely. Just like you were when you saw him with all those lovers in the past.

You felt bad for him. But you doubted he felt bad for you back then. Or now. So you always walked pass him, pretending you didn't notice him.

*

*knock knock*

You looked up from watering your growing oak sapling. Who could it be? You weren't expecting anyone. "Who's there?"

"Guess," came a dull voice.

You put away your watering kettle and hid the pot behind courtains. "Come in, Loki."

He stepped inside wearing one of his ordinary clothes, his hair wasn't slicked back like he used to style it and he had apologetic expression on his face.

"Y/N, I came to apologize."

Loki is apologizing. Now that's new. "What for?" you asked teasingly.

He sighed. "For saying you were whoring around. It wasn't right from me," he pulled out your favourite flower from behind his back, "friends?"

You took the flower. "Okay, friends."

Loki clapped his hands excitedly. "Great, now that we're at good terms with eachother I-"

"No!" you silenced him. You knew there had to be a catch. He made up with you just so he could ask you for help. Just like always.

"You don't even know what I was about to say."

"Oh, I think I do. You want me to give you advices again. Well, guess what? That's not happening. So you can, as mortals say, do 180 and walk out that door," you pointed behind him to your bedroom door.

Loki held out his hands in surrender. "I wasn't going to ask you that! I just want to talk."

"Oh," now you felt stupid. "Okay, a little talk never killed anyone I guess."

"Thank you," he let his hands fall down and took a walk around your room. "I see you were redecorating," he noticed all of his trinkets he gave you were gone. He assumed you most likely threw them out or burned them. Just the thought of it hurt him.

"Yeah," you hugged your arms to comfort yourself. "I still have them, I just didn't want to look at them anymore."

He turned towards you. "Why? First the tree, then my little gifts. What's next, me?" he joked to ease both your and his growing anxiety.

You chuckled lightly and shook your head. "No, don't worry."

He walked to you and put his hand on your shoulders. "Then why? We're best friends, right? We can tell eachother everything."

"That's exactly what I can't do," you grabbed his hand on your shoulder and slowly removed them.

"Why? Do you... do you hate me?"

"What? Heavens no! I could never hate you!"

He sighed from relief. "Good. But then why? I can't think of a single reason you would do those things. Wait. On a second thought," he held his chin between his thumb and index finger and looked down like he always does when he was thinking. He shook his head then and chuckled to himself. "No, that's absurd. You could never be in love with me."

You involuntarily tensed up. He noticed.

"Or could you?"

Tears started burning in your eyes as you nodded. "Sorry."

"For how long?"

After few minutes of thinking you shook your head. "I don't remember when it happened. It just happened."

"Well, when did you realise then? That you...you know? Are in love with me?"

"Few days before the oak kiss, I guess."

"But that was decades ago! This long time and I never saw," he facepalmed.

"And you...?" you asked hopefully. Maybe he will tell you he loves you too, right?

He sighed. "I'm sorry Y/N. I love you, but not like that. You have always been like a little sister I always wanted."

You nodded. Of course he doesn't love you like that. How even could he? You turned away from him and let some tears escape.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry," he rubbed your back. "We can still be friends. Nothing will change between us. I promise."

But it already did. Everything changed for you. How could you even look him in the eye?

You wiped away your tears and put on a perfectly rehearsed fake smile. "Okay, I can work with that," you offered him your hand, "friends?"

Instead of shaking it he hugged you. "Friends."

You hugged him back and let your fake smile fall. Your naive little self told you he will change his mind in the future. You are already so close with eachother. Closer than anyone you know. It's just a matter of time. For now, you can only dream.

#loki x reader #loki laufeyson #loki fluff #loki angst #loki x female reader #loki x reader angst #my writer's block is finally gone and I can write again! #wohooo! #loki oninson #loki laufejarson #loki

[pillage-and-lute]

An Ever Fixed Mark (Part 10)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9,

Read it on Ao3 HERE

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Geralt awoke slowly, not sure how he’d managed to fall asleep, but his hands were warm. His hands were still clutched around Jaskier’s hand, but blue eyes were meeting his. 

It was evening, the small window dark outside, but someone, probably Yennefer, had placed a small candle on the washstand that was the only other furniture in the room. It lit Jaskier with a warm and golden glow. His eyes were bleary, his hair spread across the pillow like a dark halo. 

“G’ralt.”

“I’m here,” Geralt whispered, relief doing the job of several hours of sleep and a good meal. 

“You’re here,” Jaskier said. His voice was weak, but his heartbeat was stronger than before, taking up it’s familiar place in the background noises of Geralt’s life. 

Jaskier kicked feebly at the blankets around his legs and Geralt pulled the blankets back. Jaskier was just in his smallclothes, a bloody bandage wrapped around his thigh, bright red and fading to pink where less blood seeped through.

“Ow,” Jaskier said.

“More than ow,” Geralt grumbled. He began to stand up, Jaskier’s bandages needed changing, and he meant to fetch Yennefer, but she swept through the doorway before he could even fully straighten. 

“Wow,” Jaskier muttered. “Hello, beautiful and, oh, stunningly violet-eyed lady, but as I’m married, may I ask for some trousers?”

“Not with a ten-foot pole, bard,” Yennefer snapped. “And no trousers, you’ll mess with the wound.” She began to change the bandages with ill-tempered movements that were, nevertheless, gentle. 

Jaskier blanched as he saw the, frankly, gaping wound in his thigh, but he smiled wanly and tipped his head up to Geralt. “I’ll finally have a battle scar, just like you.”

Geralt knelt again, swiping Jaskier’s hair back from his slightly sweaty forehead. “I hope this is the only one you ever have.”

Jaskier grimaced, his eyes were going glazed over as exhaustion and pain caught up with him again. “Me too,” he whispered, settling more fully back into the pillow.

“Jaskier,” Geralt said urgently. He had to say something, had to let Jaskier know. “I swear,” he swallowed and clutched Jaskier’s hand again. “I promise to you, on the swords I wear at my back, to do the right thing for you. I promise I will always think of you, and hold you dear to me.” Geralt knew his shoulders were shaking, because he knew the ultimate betrayal he was going to commit. “Everything I do for you will be for your own good.”

Jaskier smiled and patted Geralt’s cheek sweetly, his hand uncoordinated, but warm. “That’s nice, my husband.” Jaskier’s eyes slid closed. “Hero,” he murmurred, turning over.

Geralt glanced up. Yennefer was staring at him with wide, purple eyes. He wasn’t quite sure why, but he felt an overwhelming urge to give her a hug. Given that this course of action would probably result in being turned into something amphibian, he didn’t.

“You just,” she said, looking at him as if he were the dumbest thing on earth. “You just swore your affection for me.”

Geralt returned the look. “I wasn’t even talking to you.”

Yennefer smacked him over the head, not terribly hard, but emphatically. “Didn’t you feel it you great...you giant LUMP of a foolish witcher? His great windfall,” she pointed at Jaskier, perfectly lacquered nails glinting menacingly in the candlelight. “His great windfall is now mine, you just swore to love me.”

They gaped at one another in the dim light, golden eyes meeting purple.

“Fuck.”

Yennefer just nodded her agreement.

They sat, backs against the side of the bed, staring at the wall. Jaskier turned over a little, his warm breath ruffling Geralt’s hair. 

“I still love him,” Geralt said.

“How can you tell?”

Jaskier made a disgusting snorfulling noise and flopped yet again, his elbow conking the back of Geralt’s head. Geralt looked over at him as he drooled somewhat.

“Because I think he’s beautiful like this.”

Yennefer snorted. “If that’s love I don’t want it, but your feelings for him don’t have to be erased for you to be my lover of surprise.”

Geralt rested his head in his hands.

“I’m not a homewrecker,” Yennefer said.

Geralt glanced up at her. “Never?”

She shrugged. “Maybe sometimes, but not now. I don’t want to take you from your husband.”

“We’re married for political reasons. It wasn’t a love match.”

“Could’ve fooled me.”

Geralt chuckled bitterly. “Yeah, I didn’t plan on him being so...”

“So stupid?”

“Yeah, a little bit. No self preservation, no filter, no understanding of personal space. Endless enthusiasm for the most dangerous parts of my job. Desperate for attention all the time. Ability to speak to the dead...”

“That last one is a joke,” Yennefer said, snorting.

“No.”

“A poet, then. And a good one?”

“Apparently.”

“Damn.”

They stayed, staring at the wall until Geralt’s stomach growled. 

“Stew,” Yennefer said. She stood and left the room.

Geralt looked at Jaskier, still drooling into the borrowed pillow. Although his words had bound him to Yennefer, he hoped Jaskier would remember them, remember that they were meant for him, because Geralt was going to do what he fully should have done the day they left Chateau Lettenhove, and leave Jaskier behind.

Geralt trudged downstairs. The thought of leaving Jaskier ached, but the bard had never really been his to keep. 

Yennefer set a bowl of stew down in front of him so hard it slopped over onto the table. 

“So,” she said. “What are you going to do?”

Geralt shrugged and she huffed. 

“Don’t make me hex you,” she said. Her eyes narrowed. “You’re going to leave the boy, aren’t you?”

Geralt shrugged again. When it didn’t satisfy he said, “I’m not good for him.”

“He doesn’t seem to think so.”

“He thinks a griffin would make a nice pet.”

Yennefer snickered. Geralt liked the way she laughed, and she was pretty, her purple eyes were striking, but he couldn’t help but think how he liked blue eyes so much better. 

He wished he didn’t know exactly why blue had become his preference.

“I’m not keeping him if you leave him here,” Yennefer said. “I don’t need a puppy and I don’t like music.”

“He has a friend here.”

“That’s good, do you know anything about the friend, or were you just going to drop him in the center of the city and hope they stumble into eachother?”

“Her name’s Essi. She’s pretty and a bard.”

Geralt finished his stew without saying more. He remembered how Jaskier had extolled Essi’s virtues. Her talent, style, her remarkable beauty. He’d told a story of how Essi had gotten them out of a bit of a fix with a rowdy drunk.

Between her and Jaskier’s skill with a fish knife, he’d be fine.

He’d be better than fine, he’d be with people like him who knew art and music and liked fine clothes and fine wine. He’d never be sliced open by bandits or slashed by some dreadful monster. 

Geralt rose from Yennefer’s table and walked back up the stairs to the little room. Jaskier seemed to be asleep still, blankets tangled around him. Geralt had brought his bags from their camp and set them and his lute in the corner. One of the bags had a bit of white cloth peeking out. 

Geralt pulled at it. It was from Jaskier’s wedding outfit. a little scrap of the lining was loose and slightly tattered. On an impulse, Geralt tugged at it. A piece, only a few centimeters square, came loose in his hand. Geralt stared at it, pale and fluttering slightly. 

Jaskier had been so beautiful that day, and he’d laughed when Geralt danced with him. There was music playing in the sleeping city, blowing in through the window and Geralt wished he could have just one more dance. 

He tucked the tiny fabric scrap into his black leather bracer. 

Yennefer was standing in the doorway. 

“Can you find Essi Daven for me?” He asked. 

“I already have,” she said, stepping forward, into Geralt’s space.

Geralt nodded at her, feeling the warmth of being around her, the affection blooming around their linked destinies. 

“I was thinking,” she said. “What you said earlier, to him, you promised to care for him.”

“I did.”

Yennefer’s lips were red painted and perfect. 

Geralt sensed her move before she even began, her arms came up and his hands went into her thick, dark hair.

It was a good kiss, full and passionate without being indecent. 

It wasn’t a great kiss.

Geralt pulled away as Yennefer did and felt no compulsion to lean back in for another one. 

“Um,” came a small, hesitant voice from the bed. Geralt turned.

Jaskier was looking at them, eyes wide and lips slightly parted. 

“Jaskier,” Geralt said, beginning to step forward. 

“I would like to wash my face,” Jaskier said, without intonation. “Since I’m rather undressed, I’d like privacy, please.”

Geralt took the dismissal for what it was, stepping out into the thin hallway with Yennefer at his side. 

“I didn’t know he was awake,” she whispered on the edge of hearing. “I wouldn’t have--”

Geralt shrugged minutely. “He and I aren’t like that,” he whispered back, wary of the bard awake just feet away. He knew the sentence was a lie. Geralt hadn’t even thought of going to a brothel for a long time. Jaskier flirted with everyone and never did more. 

“I don’t love you,” Yennefer breathed. “You swore to protect and care for him, you never said love.”

“I never said love,” Geralt whispered back.

“I don’t want to kiss you.”

“No,” Geralt confirmed. “No more kisses.”

“You should explain--”

“No.” Geralt swallowed as he remembered Jaskier’s expression. Hurt, just for a brief flash of a second, heartbreak. “It’s better this way, a clean break.”

“It’s cruel.”

“It’s better if he hates me.” The thought burned like venom.

“What about your political marriage.” Yennefer made it clear that she didn’t think their marriage was all that political.

The hidden fidelity clause. Geralt cursed himself for forgetting, but so long as word never got back to Lettenhove it was fine.

“If he’s discreet it will never come up,” he said to Yennefer. She looked doubtful, lips pursing around something she didn’t say. She pushed a little box into his hands.

“A xenovox,” she said. “Since you’re destined to like and protect me.”

Geralt gave her a small smile and a nod.

Inside Jaskier’s room, something heavy hit the floor. Geralt went to push the door open, heart hammering, picturing Jaskier fainting from blood loss or putting too much weight on his bad leg.

Yennefer stopped him with a hand on his chest. “If you want a clean break...”

Geralt nodded. He caught a glimpse of Jaskier, on the floor but concious, as he walked away. 

Geralt wished he hadn’t been able to smell the salt of tears. 

Roach whinnied at him when he greeted her. She was stabled near the edge of the city at a rundown inn. He’d stabled Thunderbolt closer to Yennefer’s lodgings. Geralt accepted Roach’s headbuts, raising a hand to pet her soft muzzle, then pressing a kiss to the white on her forehead. He was exhausted, eyes sliding closed even as he stood there, smelling the familiar smells of horses and clean hay. 

Roach leaned her head over his shoulder, looking around.

“No Jaskier,” he whispered. She flicked her ear. “No Thunderbolt.” 

Roach looked at him and Geralt couldn’t help but feel that it was somewhat accusatory. She blinked her long eyelashes at him and he shrugged, scrubbing his hand over his face. 

Brushing Roach’s mane wasn’t really necessary. The stable boy had taken one look at Geralt, who was still covered in Jaskier’s blood, and terror had ensured that Roach would be the best cared for mare in Oxenfurt. 

Geralt had tipped the boy extra too. 

Geralt brushed her mane anyway, not ready to sleep in a tiny, dirty bed all alone. He hummed lightly to her

Toss a coin to your witcher...

The song had grown on him, like moss, or a horrible fungal disease. 

Geralt went through his familiar motions as he cared for his horse and got ready for bed. The watchful eyes of the inn patrons followed him but he didn’t care. He felt hollowed out, like someone had cut him open and removed something important before sewing him up.

The bed was, indeed, tiny. Geralt’s feet hung slightly off the end when he laid straight, so he curled on his side. He would leave first thing in the morning. Maybe he’d head north early this year, there was no reason he couldn’t go to Kaer Morhen early. Vesemir would probably be glad for help with repairs.

Vesemir had liked Jaskier. 

Jaskier had liked Vesemir too, he’d gotten along with all the wolves, even Lambert. And he’d been so excited when Geralt said he’d bring him to the keep. 

Geralt thought about the library of the keep, all those books that hardly ever even got seen. He could picture the large wooden desk beside the fire where he was sure Jaskier would sit. Or maybe they’d bring up one of the few couches and they could sit there together. Jaskier would talk about what he’d learned or the new song he was composing with his head resting in Geralt’s lap as the fire crackled.

It would never happen now. 

Geralt had broken Jaskier’s heart. And he’d done it on purpose. He hadn’t meant for Jaskier to see him kiss Yennefer, hadn’t really ever meant for there to be a kiss with Yennefer. But Jaskier had told him not to leave him so many times. He’d said he didn’t want to be abandoned or dropped off or gotten rid of. 

Geralt didn’t think he’d ever be able to rid himself of thoughts of Jaskier. The damn bard would walk the path beside him every day until Geralt’s death, without ever needing to be present. 

Geralt had to leave Jaskier though. Next time the wound could be to his jugular, to his heart. Had the crossbow bolt hit just slightly to the side it would have been an artery and Jaskier would have bled out onto the grass in minutes. 

Geralt stared at the cieling. 

“I feel you should know that I didn’t like doing that.”

Yennefer’s voice came from the little box resting on the table. Geralt sat up.

“Doing what?”

“I just dropped your husband off with Essi,” Yennefer said. Geralt winced at the reminder. Husband. “He was crying. I don’t do crying. He nearly got snot on my dress.”

Geralt’s heart twisted in his chest. “He’ll be happier with her,” he said.

“Maybe, he greeted her as ‘little sister’ so they must be close.”

Little sister. Geralt had thought that Essi meant something else to Jaskier but...but he really didn’t have any right to care who meant what to the man.

“Thank you,” Geralt said.

“For what it’s worth, I think you’re being stupid.”

Geralt hummed. He stared at the little box on the table, feeling even worse than before. After a long time he spoke.

“I think I’ve been very stupid already.”

He didn’t know if Yennefer was still listening. 

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Shorter chapter, but that’s where this one needed to end I think. They’ll figure it out. Also, now Geralt has one (1) destiny guaranteed friend. 

Vibe for this chapter: Evermore from Beauty and the Beast.

Tag List!

@llamasdumpsterfire @stinastar @aziz-the-fangirl @mordoriscalling @bastardofmothman @negativenuggetz @morte-mistrata @ailorian @hayleynzlive @filledepluie @bygodstillam @sociowithatardisachevyandawand @faery-god  @honeysuckletook @theflurtifly @saibowtie @werevampiwolf   @frywen-babbles @the-kewlest @innocentbi-stander @1stbonesfan   @aqueenrisesintheeast @toothhurtyam @marauders-fan-account @ineffable-lasagna @limevodka @rocknrollphanda @seralyra @permanently-exhausted-witcher  @aj-itated  @watchthewolvesfall  @00qtea  @the-blondey @birds-of-forgiveness @westmoor  @abstractartwithoutpaint @darkonesdagger7437   @onwardsandfourwords @underwaterattribute @whenrainbowsend @goldbvtton @little-piece-of-tamlin @in-love-with-writing002 @flustratedcas   @fontegagrilledcheese @so--many-fandoms @kirk-spock-in-the-impala @oniongrass @flowercrown-bard @maya-the-yellow-bee   @comfyswitcherblanketfort @wellthisstinks  @thenameislion-dandelion @flowercrown-bard @obsessedchildsworld @debellatis @zotinha456 @tumbleweedtech @goblin-loves-shiny-things @birdsflyhome @holymotherwolf @the-shenny-of-azkaban  @darkangel91939  @enkelikauneus   @saphiramalbec @silvermirror1997  @just-a-himbo-and-his-feral-bard   @iamaqt314 @itsthelittlethingsnlife @oneshots-galore @inikokoru @gryffinqueen  @anythinggoesfandoms @artemisthehuntress @pomegranatebitch @nuitarius @ub-sessed @tookarma @spearmint-honk @nicelytousled @wingirl2015 @live-long-and-trek-on   @kingcitywitch  @flowrhippieprincess @oneshots-galore @laughingatlivedragons  @nanamis-trophy-wife @annafortoday  @dapperanachronism  @jaybeefoxy @gods-no-longer-tread-here @flustratedcas @nbspaceboy  @comorbid-corvid @ellwren @red-wasabi89   @ouradarablelove  @chanonce

#arranged marriage au #the witcher #geraskier #platonic yennalt #yennefer is a good friend #geralt is stupid and made some bad decisions #they will figure it out though #angst #sort of break up

[amphii-writes]

Random Haikyuu Head Canons I Have

these are all taken from my discord server cause i remember to write them there, if you want to request fanfics, my requests are W I D E open! there is also nO order! these are just all the headcanons i could find tbh

warnings: mentions of blood, and just overall wild times, swearing

Asahi loves knitting sweaters because his shoulders are broad and he also loves seeing the reactions from his teammates when they get a sweater from him! He says he buys them but he doesn’t

Aone likes knitting socks because he has big feet and he loves fluffy knee high socks but his team will never know

Asahi and Aone regularly hang out and knit together! (after asahi wasnt scared of him anyways)

Nishinoya gives you shiny rocks he finds because “your eyes shine like them!”

Yamaguchi likes to have your head rest on his chest while cuddling!

Aone likes to bake

Aone dressed like a polar bear because koganegawa told him to- halloween was amazing

daICHI HAS A KISS THE COOK APRON

Daichi secretly can make some kick ass steak and is amazing at grilling sorry

Okay but real talk, Kenma and Yaku swear like sailors and it scares everyone because they always whisper the most foul, insulting things under their breath. Hearing it is like seeing a cryptid

Speaking of cryptids, Fukunaga and Shibayama are THE most true crime, mythology, and mystery obsessed fanatics on the team and often fanboy about it together 

Fukunaga’s obsession with moth man has gotten to an unhealthy stage

Kenma absolutely had a vampire phase and has read twilight. Only Kuroo knows and has sworn to secrecy via blood pact

Kuroo’s a musical nerd. Knows all of the lyrics to Hamilton, BMC, DEH, Heathers, Rent, Beetlejuice, Etc. Kenma considered dropping him because of it

Iwaizumi tells the worst dad jokes and Kyotani, wanting to beat him, started doing it too and it drives everyone insane

Yahaba and Matsukawa get along surprisingly well. Both are true crime freaks and bond over their forensic files obsessions

Matsukawa didn’t really like his thick eyebrows so he got one of his female friends to pluck it for him, but almost cried and gave up after the first hair. Oikawa called him a pussy for the next year

Hanamaki jokingly flirts with everyone on the team so most of them just got used to it, but it still confuses Kindaichi to the point of mental breakdown

Makki called Kyotani ‘puppy’ as a joke once and now mad dog is truly terrified of him

Kyotani’s dog absolutely ADORES Oikawa and it’s the funniest shit to the rest of the team

Mattsun and Makki play DnD and once convinced Yahaba and Kyotani to join. Kyotani kept rolling to fight everyone and Yahaba was a bard that kept rolling to seduce everyone. They kept yelling across the board so they had to kick them out

Outside of his school uniform, Goshiki specifically wears only plaid

Tendou makes little chocolates for the whole team every once in a while so they don’t think he’s scary

Semi and Shirabu once had a fistfight in an abandoned McDonald’s parking lot while Tendou filmed and Goshiki cheered them on

Everybody makes fun of Shirabu’s haircut but nobody dares to say it to his face. its gotten to the point where they say he got it done by a blind old lady

There’s a running joke about Shirabu also getting his haircut from prison but Goshiki is starting to suspect that it may not be a joke

Yamagata and Tendou are good friends with the mutual goal of collecting as much blackmail on their team as possible

Tendou loves animals generally considered to be ‘ugly’ like rats, crows, reptiles, etc.

80% of Goshiki’s playlist is shit overplayed on the radio. Him, Shirabu, Tendou, Kawanishi and Ushijima have a permanent ban from the aux cord

Nobody watches YouTube with Ushijima because he never skips the damn ads (other than tendou)

Suna once said y’all’dn’t’ve unironically and made a first year cry

Akagi once said UwU unironically and had an identity crisis.

Osamu has one of those rainbow gaming keyboards and is constantly on a discord call. Atsumu always yells weird shit in the background to embarrass him and once pretended to be him

During Seijoh group chat arguments. Hanamaki and Mattsukawa like to drop facebook minion memes in just to piss everyone off even more

mattsun and maki both have separate photo albums in their phones labelled ‘minion memes to piss everyone off’

Hinata carries a pocket knife and no one has no fucking idea why

mattsun and maki both have matching rat fursuits that look like they actually where in a sewer- they chased oikawa around

For all his talk of plant analogies and metaphors, Ushijima cant grow shit

Goshiki’s Bangs are the way they are because his favorite character was Rock Lee from Naruto

Oikawa has watched Ouran High School Host Club front to back so many times and he can quote all of Tamaki’s lines by heart -He keeps bothering Iwaizumi to “be his Haruhi, since you’re shorter than me”

Koganegawa has definitely gone as an Angry Bird for Halloween

Fukunaga has those reflective cat eyes, and he has terrified Yamamoto on several occasion

Hanamaki and Matsukawa have a teddy bear that they pretend is their child and they share custody

Suga always sprays whipped cream straight into his mouth whenever he sees a can

Nishinoya definitely bit people as a kid

Nishinoya would be the guy to wear shorts all year round and even if it's snowing, he'll insist he's not cold

Tendou is still stuck in his emo phase and would fangirl over Creepypasta with me and I appreciate that (me too buddy, me fuckin too)

Kyoutani LOOKS like he’d listen to viking death metal, but in reality he listens to Mother Mother and knows all the words to Ghosting

Sugawara would definitely encourage me to dumb shit and not stop me, and you’re all dumb for thinking he wouldn’t 

KENMA IS NOT ‘uwu owo’ SHY, HE IS ‘your fucking gross’ SHY SO LITERALLY STFU

Bokuto listens to Nicki Manaj. And knows all the words. To every. Single. Song.

Ushijima for some reason knows an odd amount of 90′s-2000′s R&B and he will hum along to the songs if they come on the radio (he also loves Dolly Parton) ((he says he relates to her music))

Bokuto once ate instant ramen for an entire month

TERUSHIMA DID TRY TO FUCK A PLANT WHILE SHITFACED AND GOD I STAND BY WHAT I SAID

atsumu let’s you put makeup on him and pretends to eat the brushes (do yk what im talking about- like n o m)

tendou ran for school president as a joke but actually won

i 100% believe that all of karasuno’s third years apologize when they bump into inanimate objects, but when suga is really tired or stressed out, he’ll yell at them instead.

Tanaka, Nishinoya, and Taketora have a group chat called "Bros who want sum hoes" and they send each other hypebeast memes and shit

Sugawara knows how to do a bunch of flexible shit because he sometimes goes to yoga with daichi and asahi's moms, its fucking hilarious

tanaka and noya both breakdance- they work as a team and sometimes go to tokyo for underground competitions- saeko drives them

Daichi knows a little ballet- nobody other than Kiyoko knows because they saw each other at the ballet class and had to work together- dont tell tanaka and noya that he lifted her though

Osamu once put glitter on Atsumu's pillow- he still finds hot pink glitter on shit

kita knits and crochets with his grandma

Kita's grandma knows everyone's names because kita talks shit bout them, her favorite is Aran

Kuroo has burnt his eyebrows off doing an experiment. His goggles didn't cover all his brows,,, so he just showed up to practice like that. No eyebrows and a chemical burn

kenma has played all kinds of games, but he was dared to play corpse party by kuroo. He wasn't scared because of the gore, he was thinking about the trauma the characters went through. Punched kuroo the next day because that game was fucked up

Lev isn't a strong swimmer, so he often grabs people by the head to keep himself up. happened with kenma and lev couldn't walk due to the force of kenmas suprised water kicks

akaashi has those fancy pens that you have to dip in ink and they're so nice

Bokuto has and will eat pencil erasers again

Daichi once almost lost his shit at his team but instead he lost his shit at the door that decided to stub his toe on the way out of the gym. not the best thing to be found yelling to.

Yamaguchi for sure has been dragged to one of terushimas parties because he didnt wanna say no. oh and terushima has like frat boy level parties too. Yams has for sure had some wild nights and doubts anyone other than Tsukishima and the party-goers will ever know

Akaashi can actually flirt very well! He reads romance novels sometimes and has analyzed any and every book in his possession! so he's actually quite charming

Daihsou unironically posted on twitter after mika broke up with him "I still see her shadows in my room"

Mattsun and Maki run a fake oikawa account; its been going ever since twitter even started getting popular and they even started sending messages in spanish. The posts would range from "I love all my fans!" to flirting with them :) Oikawa is pissed cause the account got verified before he did and most of his fans also follow the fake oikawa. Tooru has no idea who runs it JUST IMAGINE OIKAWA JUST LIKE RANTING TO THE SEIJOH 3RD YEAR ALUMNI AND JUST "no Iwa-chan, you dont understand! they run a fake account and pretend to be me!" while makki and mattsun laugh their asses off

Oh, kenma for sure has pretended to be a girl on discord and has gotten someone to buy him stuff. after they do he says in his normal voice "fucking simp" and then hangs up and blocks the other persons discord

Yamamoto, despite his rough appearance, loves kids and has and will be a human jungle gym

suna in middle school had a game with his friends about who could make kids cry the fastest

The twins switched places back in middle school and nobody could tell because of how great they are at acting like eachother

Daichi once arrested coach ukai for public intoxication after a game :|

Daichi has arrested many people from his old volleyball team but the most memorable case was when he arrested tanaka and noya for reckless driving. poor idiots got so scared when they saw their old captains face in their mirror and started to pray

tanaka, while trying to intimidate someone, once said "You dont gotta tell me twice, i may be straight but these hands are bisexual" and he often cringes at night thinking about it

Kageyama, as a comeback to Tsukishima, said "one thing about us royalty is that we love to feast" and he also fuckin hates what he said

the third years made a cult for Kiyoko. they chant every wednesday "i'll do anything for kiyoko, she makes me go loco"

oikawas fangirls are known to be fucking rabid

yAMAMOTO AND KENMA AFTER THEIR FIGHT WERE FORCED BY KUROO TO MAKE IT UP: so they dyed their hair together

Makki and mattsun sang two trucks in front of the entire team. everyone was so confused. Makki: "twO TRUCKS HAVIN SEX!!" Mattsun: "oH yEs!"THEY'D SWITCH OFF AND HAVE LIKE CHOREOGRAPHY TOO LIKE THEY'D DO A TANGO WHILE THE SONG IS LIKE "two beer trucks, making love"

tendou once called Oikawa "mr. no-nationals" and got kicked in the shins before iwaizumi could save him

Tsukishima had a my little pony phase

you work with matsukawa at a morgue and he makes dead people jokes while you fix some dead guys face with wax and makeup he'd be like "so didnt he like,,, stick his head out of the sunroof of a moving fuckin car??" he'd be singing dumb ways to die the entire day

i feel like Kuroo has one crazy accident a year. like it might not be deadly but its fucking crazy like for example: Kuroo for sure has ridden in a shopping cart at past midnight with kenma (who pushed him down a hill) causing Kuroo to get scratched up hella well. he lied and said he spent the night with a girl and kenma fucking hated himself cause he would be the girl if that was true

Mattsun has flirted with the 4th years moms before (AS A JOKE), and because of this: he is known as “fuckin milf hunter” sometimes by the team

Warning, this next headcanon is talking about cannabis, weed, mary jane, the zoink root. so if your uncomfortable, please dont read below :)

dude i wanna get high as SHIT with Asahi 

i think Asahi would be one of those mfkers who takes one hit and is gone 

ASAHI ACCIDENTALLY GOING TO PRACTICE ZOINKED 

IMAGINE HIM SEEING TSUKISHIMA AND JUST "he looks so judgemental,,, im scared" 

OR LIKE A MAD DAICHI AND JUST "i'm gonna,,, im gonna go jump out the window now" 

Noya and Tanaka would know tho, i feel like they'd have a 6th sense when it comes to weed. they probably get some from Saeko cause she'd rather they do it in the house. they'd smell asahi like fucking dogs and just so,,, big guy had fun without us huh? 

DAICHI WOULD KNOW ABOUT ASAHI BEING ZOINKED, SMASH HIS FACE INTO THE WALL, TURN AROUND WITH A RED MARK ON HIS FOREHEAD AND WITH A BEAMING SMILE AND FEUX ENTHUSIASM SAY: "YOSH, LETS WARM UP!"

#haikyuu #hq #haikyuu!! #haikyuu crack #haikyuu boys #haikyuu x reader #haikyū!! #haikyu x reader

[mihidecet]

Sbi&co: D&D AU: Rivals and Friendships

New chapter POG! This has been a long time coming, friends! I do hope you enjoy <3 Lemme know what you think, and as always thank you so so much for reading!! <3

If Dream had to be honest, he’d say that this team seems to be quite fun. 

They appear to be very close friends, from the way they rely on each other and joke around despite the huge Cloaker trying to wrap around the bard hurling insults at him. He does also remember the kid, the one he’d seen at the training grounds, and he’s happy to say that he was wrong to doubt his place in the tournament - he can surely handle himself quite well, and on top of that he clearly has a well established supporting structure built around him. 

While the tiefling makes sure to make light of the situation, no matter how much he gets thrown around, Dream still remembers how he’d stepped between the younger teammate and danger before; the half orc greatly respects that, heaven knows how many times he's stepped between something aimed at Sapnap and vice versa.

On top of being a well oiled machine, this team also knows what they’re doing, both in terms of fighting and in terms of performing; he can’t deny how he’s been at the edge of his seat ever since they first entered the stadium, despite how his body is still a bit sore from fighting a Barlgura earlier that day - who knew ape-looking demons could hit that hard? 

Sapnap's voice has been turning rougher and rougher too: he had been yelling insults at their opponent all fight, and now he hasn't stopped loudly whooping once ever since he'd seen the kid swoop into the stadium looking like a bolt of fire - the two of them would probably get along, if given the chance; that or they'd murder eachother after just a handful of seconds.

The only thing that's missing from this party is their fourth member who, if memory serves him well, is a rogue - the tall hooded figure he'd seen hanging around with the (maybe?) two tieflings. 

He has been seeing the Cloaker they're fighting flinch back from ranged attacks that seemingly come out of nowhere, but as of now they haven't shown themselves yet. Either that or their fourth party member is constantly invisible, which George has assured them would be a pointless waste of arcane energy - Dream and Sapnap agree that it would still be very cool, but they have a mutual agreement regarding trying to stay on the wizard's good side, since they convinced him on sticking around after their round to watch everyone else instead of going to rest. 

He is in fact in the process of turning towards George - he'd seen the tiefling kid surround himself in flames ever since the start of the fight and he wanted to ask if that was a common tiefling trait - when a light blue reflection catches his eye. A figure leaps from a stone pillar and disappears mid flight, as if vanishing in thin air, and reappears over the Cloaker's body, since the beast had managed to free itself from the arcane shackles that held it firmly to the ground.

In line with the dark, hooded figure that he’d seen that day at the training grounds, the stranger lands in a crouch, surprisingly stable, cape flowing behind them in a way that almost feels too elegant for the yelling-filled dirt stadium. 

One raised hand holds what seems to be a weirdly shaped dagger - it’s a bit too far away to see correctly - before it plunges into the beast’s back, tearing a furious cry from it as it shudders in pain. Its movement jostles the figure around, but they don’t seem to care that much, holding steadily their ground - it awakens old memories of afternoons spent training and refining balance with Master Calvin, because what good is a fighter if they can get knocked on their asses at the first kick in the shin, but he figures the stranger might have served on a ship. After all, that is where Master Calvin picked that important lesson from.

The Cloaker, evidently not glad to have a knife stuck to its back, decides to take matters into its own … wings? and wraps them around its body before quickly and sharply twisting on itself, probably intent on flinging the hooded figure away. 

And in its defence, the figure does get thrown off, but as their body flies up towards the sky, it follows a weird trajectory - a hand suddenly grabs his bicep as Sapnap lets out a breathless “holy shit”. That’s when he notices the thick chain the stranger is holding onto, and the weird curvature of the “dagger” they used suddenly makes a lot of sense. 

He can’t help but laugh as the figure folds on themselves in order to sail towards the ground, the chain wrapping itself around the Cloaker - whose wings are still wrapped around itself, leaving Dream to wonder how much preparation went into that, or if the four of them have travelled the Underdark and fought one before. 

Back on the ground, the kid is hopping from one foot to the other, staring upwards as his teammate descends; he then starts running and leaps, definitely more than should be possible, and grabs the figure’s leg as the chain is starting to curl back upwards, guided by its own momentum, furtherly pushing it forward. 

The two struggle for a moment as the kid climbs his teammate’s body, reaching the chain himself moments before the other lets go; then, with a sudden burst of flames, the tiefling pops out of existence, only to reappear a split second later once again over the Cloaker’s back. 

But Dream misses what happens on that side of the battlefield, because his eyes follow the movement of the cloaked figure as they fall - he expects somebody to catch them, to throw a spell to prevent them from crashing to the ground, but it never happens: the stranger lands on their feet and immediately propels themselves forward, rolling on the ground and quickly standing back up, as if they hadn’t just fallen from way too high up, and unsheathing a stunning looking shortsword. 

Before he can stop himself, Dream hits Sapnap’s side with his elbow, eyes wide open because he is so sure. He know that, he’s seen that move so many times it’s been seared into his brain - his ankles still ache with the phantom pain of trying to achieve that specific landing technique. 

Master Calvin’s pride and joy-

“That’s him- Sap!” He whispers in a hush, urgently patting his best friend’s side, trying to catch his attention; the beast’s angry screams are loud now, the chains around its body red and flaming, constricting its movements as it slowly descends to the ground again, thrashing against its restraints, but Dream can’t find it in himself to care about it that much at that moment, eyes trained on the cloaked figure that he’s heard about for years and years of training. 

Still, Sapnap doesn’t look, all of his attention focused on the actual fighting happening, giving a questioning grunt before yelling out in glee as the Cloaker crashes to the ground, its tail lashing out wildly and almost crashing against the bard’s body. So Dream insists, quickly pinching his side, instantly finding himself face to face with a very unamused monk. 

“What the fuck?!” Sapnap asks indignantly, only for his brows to furrow in confusion at his friend’s elated expression, Dream leaning forward to whisper urgently:

“That’s Techno.”

He waits for him at the exit. 

He doesn’t really know why he does, since they will be both tired and beaten up - he’ll still surely be high on adrenaline after his team’s quite honestly glorious win - but he doesn’t really want to wait, he can’t really find it in himself to do so. 

And also, he does it simply because he can. All participants have access to the same parts of the stadium, so there is nobody trying to stop him and Sapnap as they move towards the exit. Well, of course there are guards that check their identities, and guards that watch over all corridors. But still. Nobody stops them or questions them while they wait. 

Loud chatter and laughter announces their incoming arrival - a bright, almost wheezing laugh is almost completely covered by a strong and high voice quickly recounting “that absolutely badass move I pulled, they’ll be talking about it for years, you’ve got to write a song about that!” - and when they turn the corner and appear at the end of the corridor Dream can’t help but feel himself stiffen. 

Either from the sight of his hooded … rival? from across the corridor - he looks definitely much taller now that he’s not so far away - or from how the druid’s eyes zero on him instantly, pinning him down with a neutral stare and a cryptic smile. 

“And the jump! Why don’t you use that spell more often, I love it so very much... Ph- I mean Flinar?” The kid stumbles on his words as he notices the elf has stopped laughing, following his eyesight with a confused expression that turns even more perplexed when he sees him and Sapnap standing there, evidently waiting for them. 

“Oy! You two got a problem?” The kid asks, loudly, shooting looks towards the guards - counting them, making eyesight as if to check if they’re on a specific side, the kid has evidently been through some stuff - so Dream raises his hands placatingly, displaying the lack of weapons in his hands. 

“No problem at all! Just wanted to congratulate you on the fight, it was spectacular!”

Behind the kid, he sees Techno’s shoulders sag with a silent sigh before he steps forward. 

Oh, so he does know him.

It’s actually quite sweet how the whole group moves as a single unit, following behind Techno despite the fact that he probably intended to be the only one getting closer to the two of them.

Dream forces himself to display a relaxed attitude as he moves to meet him halfway - which he is, relaxed, he is calm, he has nothing to worry about, there’s nothing as normal and boring as meeting one of the best fighters there is in this whole region. 

Up this close, Techno is definitely taller than him, which is something that doesn’t really happen much, with Dream being a half orc; once again, that has no effect whatsoever on his mood, nor the confidence he has regarding this meeting. The positive thing is, being shorter than him allows him to have a clear view of his face under the hood - if he hadn't been sure before, the bright blue eyes, pink toned skin and tusks would have surely confirmed his suspicions. 

“I’m Dream, this is Sapnap. I assume I shouldn't be naming any names, right?” He quips, a smirk on his face that gets slightly bigger when the shifter in front of him huffs out a silent laugh, apparently amused, and extends a hand towards him. 

“Jerry.” He grumbles out, prompting Dream to use all of his existing willpower to avoid laughing over the clearly fake name as he grips his hand in a handshake; Sapnap has much less restraint, bursting into a wheezing laughter and doubling over - he swears he hears the bard snort a laugh too, but when he looks at him his face is blank. 

“So, who is this?” The kid asks, looking puzzledly between the two of them. 

“One of Calvin’s students.” Techno answers quickly, prompting an understanding “oh” from the young tiefling, before pinning Sapnap down with a calculating look.

“And I guess you trained with Fruit.” The monk nods with a grin, turning his face towards the youngest of the group. 

“I loved your fire tricks, I deal with fire too.” 

“Well, mines are definitely better.” The kid replies instantly, so sure of his words that Dream is immediately wheezing, leaning onto Sapnap for support as the monk gapes, shocked.

“Oh my- Oh Sap you just got destroyed by a child!” The half orc wheezes out, which is an even worse choice because the kid explodes into literal fire, flames licking at his body as anger fills his eyes.

“I am NOT a fucking child!” He yells out, furious, but what frightening factor he could have had is very much dampened by how the rest of his team is laughing about it - the bard, which at this point Dream is half convinced must be the Wilbur Soot, is vehemently agreeing, laughing as he insists that yes, that is a child, a youngster, and the two quickly lose themselves into a heated debate. 

After a moment, the druid steps in - that’s gotta be the Wandering King; they’re in the presence of legends, watching them squabble with a tiefling kid, shaking hands and playfully trading quips - placing a placating hand on each of the two tieflings’ shoulders and prompting their fighting to quiet down. 

“We should be going, it’s late and we need to rest. It was a pleasure to meet you two.” 

“Likewise. We’ll see eachother on the battlefield, then, I assume?” Dream asks, shooting Techno a glance; the man simply raises an eyebrow, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“If we must.” 

With one last chuckle, Dream turns on his heel, him and Sapnap moving back towards the viewing stands where they had previously left Eret and George. 

“We’re gonna kick your asses!” Yells the kid a moment later; when Dream turns back he’s got a daring expression on his face, but he looks excited - it reminds him of himself, and he can’t help but laugh. 

“Not if we destroy you first!”

#sbi au #sbi dnd au #now sbi&co #dreamwastaken #sapnap #georgenotfound #technoblade #tommyinnit #philza #wilbur soot

[caitlinsnicket]

Bittersweet Tragedy pt. 2

Part one | Part three | Part four

Request: Would it be possible for you to perhaps so a part two to Bittersweet Tragedy? Perhaps it's set a while into the future and Jaskier and the reader have settled down proper (or as close as) like they promised eachother, and Geralt shows up all apologetic or something. Creative credit goes to you 💖

Characters: Jaskier, Geralt of Rivia, Y/N, Ciri (?).

Warnings: Angst, comfort, cuteness, found family, more crying, Jaskier and Geralt finally talking, Ciri being a cutie, maybe one cuss word. 

Pairing: Jaskier x Y/N.

A/N: Hi. I’m late. So, what happened: I lost the will to write fanfic, got wrapped up in online school stuff, books I was dying to read (sharp objects is so fucking good) and sleeping, and I didn’t write it as soon as I thought I would. But I finished this piece. Yay. Now, here’s what I have in my drafts: Helena Betinelli NSFW alphabet, a Benverly one-shot, a Rey imagine based on a song, and that idea of some Caine Wise fanfic is still there. Yay. 

Anyway, feel free to like, reblog or leave a comment! Also, requests are open!

Waking up to Jaskier’s singing was a blessing. When he wasn’t just messing around, actually paying attention and putting passion into his songs and melodies, he can make the most beautiful pieces. That morning, when I woke up to the noises of the town waking up too, Jaskier’s voice muffled it all and I couldn’t help but smile.

After getting up and doing my morning stuff, I walk down the stairs to see Jaskier bent over his lute, looking for some papers, taking notes. He prepares himself to start singing again but stops dead in his tracks when he sees me at the bottom of the stairs. 

His eyes light up like two suns in the middle of the sea.

“Every time I see you, my love, it’s like someone is punching me in the stomach. You take all the air out of me, every drop of blood from my veins, my entire being, everything is yours. And I know it in my bones, I will love you until the end of my days...”

“Love, you’ve already charmed me, we already live together and we sleep in the same bed every night. You don’t need to keep saying these things” I say, trying not to blush. I was completely comfortable with Jaskier now, but it was hard not to react when he started to say those things.

Before he can say anything more, I walk up to him and I held his face in my hands. He looks like a puppy, and I softly kiss him. I can feel him shivering, and his lips feel soft and warm against mine, but before he can get me on top of his lap, I interrupt the kiss. Now he actually looks like a puppy.

“I have to go to the market, we are out of bread, but we can continue this when I come back”.

I can hear his gasp of excitement when I turn around to the door, and before I leave I get the bag of coins. Suddenly, he grasps my hand and pushes me flush against him, catching my lips on his, leaving me breathless. He rests his forehead against mine and we giggle together.

“Have I told you I love you today?”.

I pretend to think for a moment, and then I look back into his eyes.

“No. But you can tell me later”.

I leave before he can catch me again.

Getting back with the basket full of bread, and I open the door trying to be silent: I wanted to surprise him. But before I could keep projecting my plan, I hear a second voice coming from the living room. Not just any voice, a male, deep voice, that I knew like I knew Jaskier’s and that I sometimes heard in my dreams.

Something goes cold inside of me, like the fire in my heart just went out. My blood ran cold, and a sudden urge to protect Jaskier from any harm, especially from the kind of harm that *he* could cause.

I storm into the house, throwing the basket on the table and going directly to the living room. Even though I knew what to expect, I still stop dead on my tracks when I see the white hair and the wide shoulders. It was like no time had passed. It was like he never had left. For one second, I felt a small spark inside my chest.

Then, it died.

“And just what the hell do you think you are doing here?”.

He looks at me, and his eyes are a mess: a mixture of sadness, surprise, hope, and regret. I always had a very easy time reading people, and Geralt was no different, but right now it only made me mad. He had no right to be there, after all, he was the one that sent us away. I was so angry at that moment that I almost didn’t notice the girl sitting on the couch.

“Y/N, they need help”.

“And why is that our business? Did you forget that we are completely useless and burdens?”.

A dead silence falls into the room. Of course, Jaskier would forgive him right way, after all, he loved Geralt. And I did too. But words leave scars and those that he said burned into my soul. Jaskier looked to his feet, and I knew it was painful for him to remember what had happened, but he had to be reasonable. Geralt avoided my gaze like the plague. Before I can say anything else, the stomach of the girl makes a loud noise, and I finally take a good look at her.

Her hair was the same color as Geralt’s. Her eyes were unusual, too, and her face was dirty. She also looked tired, like she hadn’t been sleeping well. I sigh deeply, and I’m sure I’ll regret this later.

“You make the meal,” I say, pointing to Jaskier “You stay here with him,” I tell Geralt, not looking at his face “And I’ll fix you a bath” I look at the girl, who seeks for Geralt’s gaze for approval.

He gruffs and nods, and she gets up to follow me. I point to the stairs, and she goes silent. Jaskier has already gone to the kitchen, and I know he must be hurt, but I’m not ready to talk to Geralt just yet. I can hear Geralt taking a breath to speak something.

“Don’t. If you open your mouth right now, I’ll punch you and I’ll throw you out of this house”.

He shuts his mouth, and I follow the girl upstairs.

I wait on the outside of the bathroom, waiting for the girl (Ciri, she told me) to get out. I managed to wash her clothes, but they weren’t dry yet, so she would have to wear one of my dresses, which obviously were too big for her. The smell of food got to my nose, and I suddenly became very aware of Geralt’s presence in our house.

But I had all the right to be mad at him. He had treated us horribly, and the only reason I had let him stay was Ciri. He had to learn that his actions had consequences. Plus, before he showed up, the pain of thinking about him had almost disappeared. Before I could keep thinking in ways to hurt Geralt physically, with a chair or a shoe, the bathroom door opened revealing the girl wrapped in a towel.

She was thin like she had been underfed for a while. Her hair was wet, and now that her face was clean, some scars were visible. Probably had been in some battles. And her eyes. It was like looking at a big ocean of secrets. But it was as easy to read her as it was easy to read Geralt. She was nervous, but also curious. 

“You can use this dress, it’s a little big for you, but is the smallest I have,” I tell her, handing her the dress.

“This is more than enough ma'am. Thank you for your hospitality. Geralt mentioned that you... parted ways in bad terms” she said, taking the dress from me and looking to the floor.

Did he mention? Since when Geralt *mentioned* something?

“Yes, we did. But I wouldn’t let you starve. I’m not a monster” I comment, fiddling with my fingers “So, what else did he mention? Something about bad singing and dead weight?”.

She goes silent.

“He said that he had made a terrible mistake with you and the bard. But he was going to try and fix it. About the singing... he said it was irritating, but that it was also beautiful”.

It was my turn to be silent. She smiles at me and goes into the bathroom again. Something inside my chest went warm again.

We walk down the stairs, and they’re waiting for us, already sat in the table. Jaskier looks conflicted as if he didn’t know what to feel. I didn’t either. Ciri went to Geralt’s side, and I could feel his gaze on my face. I started to put the meal on my plate. Jaskier shifted in his seat uncomfortably.

“Y/N, sweetheart, Geralt wants to talk to us-”

“I don’t have anything to tell him. I’m not talking to him. If he wants to talk to someone, he can talk to his friends. Oh, wait. He dumped them”.

It hurt. The air in the place got dense, and for one second, everything stopped. Then Geralt’s hand touched mine. I couldn’t bring myself to flinch.

“You don’t have to talk. Just listen. Look, I’m not... I’m not good at this talking thing. Or expressing things. I’m even worst at apologizing. But the things I told to you guys were... too much. Too cruel. I was hurt” I got ready to yell at him, but he cut me “and I know it doesn’t justify anything. And that’s why I’m here. After finding Ciri, I realized the mistake I made. So we’ve spent the last months tracking and trying to find you guys. So I could tell you”.

I felt my eyes watering. His hold on my hand was gentle, and I couldn’t help but remember the good times. It still hurt, but he seemed so... sincere?

“Tell me what?”.

I was shaking. Scared. I wasn’t ready to have my heart broken again. Not by him. Jaskier’s hand touched my arm, and suddenly I felt the urge to hug everyone.

“That I’m sorry. For breaking your hearts. For sending you away. For everything”.

I feel one tear fall from my face, and Jaskier tenses by my side, waiting for my reaction. Ciri had a small smile on my face. Geralt looked scared, and his hand squeezed mine, gently.

I smile.

“I’ve already forgiven you, Geralt. A long time ago. I’m still hurt, yes, but you are forgiven”.

After that dinner, they spent one week with us. I was still wary of him sometimes, but slowly it became like the old times. Even Ciri adapted herself to our chaotic lifestyle. And, sometime later, the four of us left the town and began to travel again. Geralt still got annoyed at Jaskier sometimes, and we fought very often, but now there was a silent agreement that we would never hurt each other again. Because we loved each other. Even if we didn’t say it out loud, we all knew. 

Because our family was settled, made and lived by love.

#imagine #the witcher #the witcher imagine #jaskier #jaskier imagine #jaskier x reader #jaskier x y/n #dandelion #dandelion imagine

[gayme-master]

"Get fucked" -your friendly neighborhood cleric

Okay so. D&D story time. I joined a group on their campaign (2 sessions in). They did not have a cleric, so I decided to be one. Except. She just fucking wrecked a party the group encountered. To get some background, she's a hermit wood elf. She's very gay. She wears a flannel under her leather vest. And her first interaction with people for 250 years was getting kid napped and tortured. Like real brutal, nasty shit. And then this group found me, and I joined them bc fuck it I'm getting out of here. My alignment is chaotic good btw.

So anyways. We were walking through an underground maze sort of, trying to get from one side of the mountain to the other. Along the way my character is straight up dissociating in a corner until I find my holy symbol again. Oh my deity is "bestia" the deity of beasts. That's relevant kinda. And anyways so I get better, we progress through the tunnels and come to a spot where it branches off and we hear gurgling voices. So we try to figure out the most effective way to deal with this. We can't pass that hallway without attracting attention so. Our tiefling thief goes to the corner to peek and try to see what they are, and relays back what she sees. She can only see half, but we see they are heavily armored big brutes. She retreats back to tell us and we set our trap.

I, the cleric who has been severely wronged by these creatures, set a trap. I use thorn Growth. Which is kinda a fuck you spell for the levels we are at tbh. We are only level 3. So anyways. It casts a spell that puts a 20 ft radius circle area that is difficult terrain and all thorny and shit. And they have to roll a perception check to see the trap. And it lasts 10 minutes, or whenever I dispel it. It's beautiful.

And then our half elf bard uses some spell (idr the name) that let him cast an illusion of me (these peoples prisoner) in the hallway the monsters were in. So they yelled "what's the prisoner doing here" to eachother. In really garbled common tongue. And started coming towards us. See thorn growth also does 2d6 damage per 20 ft travelled in it. This circle is 40 ft across. Do the math.

So the first one charges in and just fucking impales himself. He dies easy. Our elf wizard casts grease which makes the area right before the spike trap greasy. And then someone set it on fire, but tbh I'm not entirely sure who.

And then our dragon born fighter, who has fuck all intelligence but all of the health in the word, decides he's going to charge into the thorn trap bc he has no ranged attacks and fuck it right? It hurts him too, but he's got the health for it and it only hurts when you move. So he can stand in there as long as he wants and work as an effective lure. Our bard persuades one of the monsters to walk into the fire and thorns. It wasn't even difficult, he just went "hey dude you should come here" and the hobgoblin (since we have fully seen them now) just goes "uhh yeah sure ok".

And then I use thorn whip on one standing near the trap but not in it, and pull him forward far enough for the trap to wreck his shit.

But now at this point, we've got 3 bodies piling up in the hallway, most of us can't do much, so finally I dispel the trap. The bard confuses one of the hobgoblins into thinking our brute of a dragon born needs a hug. Mind you this dude is 5 ft across at the shoulders. Hugging him if you're an enemy? Not a good idea. But it works and the DM goes "ok so he climbs over his buddies flaming corpses to hug drake". So he's just hugging the shit outta this enemy for a couple peoples turns.

I use guiding bolt on the enemy that is farthest (it has a range of 120 ft) which still isn't that far. And I roll a nat 20. And then roll a 13, so I do 26 damage bc it's a critical. The DM just said "and he exploded. Now everyone is covered in his innards" so we got two left.

And our wizard happens to speak goblin. So. He tries to convince them to put down their weapons and make peace. Only problem is, he didn't consult any of his teammates. So none of us are aware of this peace treaty attempt, and our dragon born finishes ripping the dude he's hugging in half. So now this last guy is like "oh fuck no peace treaty I guess" and tries to back away.

Our lawful good paladin won't just let him get away, I mean these things reek of evil and they need to die. Most of us are in agreement that he should die bc it's more merciful (we're pretty much all chaotic good). Like at this point he has watched 5 of his buddies get fucked in the most brutal of ways, he's at least gonna have some pretty severe PTSD if he lived. My character briefly thought about letting him live once the team said it would be more cruel (she's chaotic good but her main flaw is bloodthirsty-ness and like keep in mind she was just tortured for a long ass time by these people ok. This is personal revenge and they're evil).

But then the bard pulls an evil move. Like evil enough that our DM had to take back his inspiration. He throws his voice to imitate something in goblin, making him think some buddies are coming to back him up. So he turns around.

And this gives our paladin the chance to do an opportunity attack, and he finally finishes murdering this poor hobgoblin, who honestly was just chilling with friends and did not even kind of expect the day to go like this but that's what happens when your day job is murdering and torturing.

And that's the story of how a cleric fucked. Shit. Up.

#D&D #it was truly incredible