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hqshine · 3 years

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—Realising their feelings for you—

characters: Nishinoya, Tsukishima, suga

genre: angst to fluff?

type: headcanon

extras: wrote this cause i was in my angst feels guys, it’s raining what a mood. Anyways i’ve already seen all the requests and it’s gonna come slowly sorry ^^ Also i’m thinking about creating a tag list, if you’re interested please drop a message!

The two of you were close friends

both mature yet childish and stubborn at the same time

you’ve always felt differently with suga

sure he was your go to friend for any of your troubles and you’ve shared secrets with him that it almost felt like he was more of a best friend

but your heart always skipped a beat around him

he was always welcome to physical affection

When the team has movie nights, they would invite their unofficial member, you

during movies, suga would hold your hand or hug your waist loosely while you slept on his chest

which always made your heart flutter and you couldn’t even focus on the movie infront of you

but you’ve always known that Suga never felt the same that you did

He’d always tell you about a girl from this other class

She was pretty, smart, mature, reliable, kind

he would say

you’ve always kept quiet about your feelings, even giving him advice when he consulted you about confessing to her

One morning, suga came up to you. “I finally asked her out” he smiled brightly

your smile dropped and your heart raced

we’re you hearing him correctly

yes, you’ve always known that one day he was going to find someone

even her

but you just

didn’t expect it

“She said yes, Y E S y/n. God i’m so happy” suga exclaimed

his smile was the only thing that kept you from breaking down in class

“i’m happy for you Suga, last long” that was the last sentence you said to him

it’s been a few weeks, close to a month now

you knew avoiding him was...immature

but listening to him ramble about her, was gut wrenching

you saw them a few times, walking down the hallway, in her classroom

Suga tried reaching out to you but never did you meet his eyes once in the past few weeks

but recently your phone has been buzzing more than ever

it’s been irritating you and you’ve hardly touched it after suga started dating her

you sighed once more as another notification was sent in, telling you that you missed someone’s call and that they left you a voice mail

you opened up your phone and your eyes widened at all the messages from Suga

you played his most recent recording

“Hey y/n i know we aren’t exactly talking now...well s-she wasn’t exactly honest. I guess to her using me to make her ex jealous was such a great idea. I-i’m sorry that i’m the reason we haven’t been talking much. Ah, i-i also heard from someone about your—your feelings for me and i know this isn’t the best way to tell you, but i’ve been thinking a lot about it. I missed you these past few weeks. A lot. more than you can ever imagine. I missed your smile, your rambles about the lasted mangas you’ve been reading about, your homemade bentos you shared with me, your laugh, everything. You know what this wasn’t a good idea—i bet you won’t even talk to me after this. I’m sorry for not seeing it before, that the girl i really liked. Was you”

Your eyes widened as your phone slipped from your hand

his voice was shaky and it was obvious that he had been crying but, his message was still clear as day

You ran, all the way to his house

“C-come out” you panted into the call

“Y/n—y/n? wha?” suga said as you heard shuffling in the background

he quickly exited, and met with you

Your hair was messy, you were sweating in your hoodie and pajamas pants but you were still gorgeous, how he had never looked at you clearly before he would never understand

Suga immediately wrapped his arms around you and nuzzled into your shoulder

“I-in your voicemail, is it really true, do you really like me?” you asked him softly, your eyes welling up with tears

Suga looked up from your shoulder and and hugged your cheeks with his palms

“I know, i know it hasn’t been long since i dated her. But please give me a chance, please wait a little longer” he pleaded

You wrapped your arms around his neck, bringing him close

“I will” you whispered

“Kiyoko-senpai, you’re so gorgeous as usual” Nishinoya exclaimed along with Tanaka, both following her around like a puppy

You bit your lip, looking down at your sketchbook instead to distract yourself from the pain

Harbouring feelings for the second year libero hasn’t been easy

Constantly hearing him compliment other girls, comparing yourself, new insecurities

you didn’t understand why you liked him to be very honest

but you were also lying to yourself

His energy, his comfortable vibe, his smile and his eyes made you fall head over heels with Nishinoya

“Y/n-chan, what’re you drawing today?” he shouted, coming up to you

“i’m not sure yet Noya-kun” The two of you were best friends since you two were young

He defended you against middle school bullies and the two of you have been inseparable ever since

You realised your feelings for him after coming into High school

which was when his crush for your senpai began

You had nothing against Kiyoko-senpai, she actually gave you some advice and helped you several times with your homework

but, it wasn’t nice hearing him compliment her, as selfish as it sounded, you wanted on of his compliments to be directed to you

After training, You and Nishinoya walked back home together since the two of you lived near each other

“Yuu?” you asked him as he hummed in reply

Your heart pounded, “c-can i tell you something”

it was now or never you thought.

He nodded and focused on what you were going to say, “I liked you since we entered high school”

Nishinoya’s eyes widened and he stopped in his tracks

you looked down, twiddling with your fingers

“i know you like Kiyoko-senpai, but it was something i just had to tell you because i didn’t want to risk our friendship.” you flashed a fake smile to him

“don’t worry, i never expected you to return my feelings. this won’t change anything, i promise. So, you can still continue to like senpai” you mumbled, feeling the tears pooling at your eyes

The whole time, Nishinoya didn’t say anything

his mouth was agape but he just couldn’t find the right words

you sighed, and walked away not before saying, “Have a nice holiday noya-kun” flashing him a fake smile

he could see your tears and he noticed your smile that was different

Nishinoya stood there, thinking about what you just said.

he closed his eyes and the memory of your tear stained face filled him with guilt

he knew he couldn’t return your feelings but, why did he feel so sad when you said “nothing is going to change”

The break wasn’t very, enjoyable

you worked different part time jobs while Nishinoya attended trainings

the amount of times he let the ball from the opposite team his the ground was uncountable

he could barely focus and he just stared as the ball hit the ground for the tenth time

everyone groaned, noticing how their libero wasn’t paying attention

he had even stopped giving out compliments to the beautiful manager during that time

the only thing on his mind was you

training ended early that day, as they wrapped up and Nishinoya apologised for not doing well

you blew out a breath of smoke as you stared at the christmas tree infront of you

It was huge and reminded you of the joyous occasion that was arriving

Usually, you and Nishinoya would be playing at the park, having snowball fights, making angels and snowmans, and falling sick together later on

You haven’t spoken to him since that day, because of your busy schedule and his trainings

You hid your hands in your pocket, noticing how cold it was

“Y/n” a familiar voice called out to you

You turned around to widen your eyes at the sight of Nishinoya slightly panting and in his training clothes

“N-noya? What’re you doing here, aren’t you cold?” he shook his head

taking out his gloves and reaching for your hand

“You always forget your gloves don’t you, ever since middle school” he slightly laughed at the memories

“i don’t like them, they aren’t comfy” you pouted and looked away

Nishinoya held your hands, “Y/n” you looked back at him

“it hasn’t been the same. Now everyday has been boring, distracting because i keep thinking about you.” he said

“i know i’ve always expressed my ‘love’ for Kiyoko-senpai, but the person that i really love is you” your eyes widen yet again. You shook your head

“No Noya, she’s perfect, good grades, the best looks, reliable, mature, kind? Why would you like me when you have her” you said sadly

“Kind, loyal, fierce, immature, stubborn, adorable, caring, beautiful, intelligent” he began listing

“Y/n, i love you and not because you’re perfect, you have qualities that make you, you. Qualities that i love about you. Most importantly, you’re you. The girl i had a crush on since middle school, since you offered me that star wars bandage after i defended you. I’m sorry for not realising it sooner, but please, let me make it up to you” Nishinoya said

his showed his desperation and his voice expressed his love for you

“of course, and i love you too yuu”

You were always by his side

you’d greet him good morning at the lockers and even sent him home

Tsukishima hated it

he found you annoying

like a leech he can’t get rid of no matter what

you didn’t know how exactly did you fall deeply for the cold beanpole but you certainly liked him a lot

from his honey blonde hair, his taste in music, his intelligence, sassy comments and precious rare smiles

you’ve always tried to get him to notice you, making him bentos, reaching school early to greet him and even following him home after his trainings

one day

“Tsukki, i like you, would you please go out with me?” you confessed to him. Your blush could not get any redder as you bowed

Tsukishima scoffed

“with you? seriously?” your hopes fell as you stood up but looked away

“i would rather date the king rather than you. You’re annoying and if i could get rid of you, i would’ve done it earlier” he spit out

each word stabbing you deep in the heart

he turned around and left

you glanced at the macarons you made for him and the letter that you had written

they were all dinosaur themed, hoping to gain more of his attention

You were crying by then

he really thought you were nothing but someone annoying

From that day on, you hardly spoke to him

Everyday tsukishima would turn up expecting to see your face again, but you were no where to be found

in the beginning, he was satisfied, realising he was able to chase you away. But slowly, he realised how disappointed he felt when he didn’t hear you greeting him and the sight of your adorable smile adorning your face

he realised he finally chased you away

now he walks home alone, whenever he turns around unconsciously you weren’t there, he could only feel your presence in his memories

“Tsukki wait for me!”

“Good morning Tsukki, i made you some cookies today”

Tsukishima sighed as he packed up his books, he was too lazy to buy his food at the cafeteria and you didn’t prepare anything for him so he could only starve till school was over

“Tsukki i heard some boy asked Y/n out” this gained Tsukishima’s attention as Yamaguchi returned from the vending machine with drinks

“i was buying the drinks when i overheard them” yamaguchi said

tsukishima didn’t do anything except for opening his drink

“tsukki you should talk to Y/n” yamaguchi advised. “She hasn’t been herself lately and the whole class feels it too”

Tsukishima took a sip of his drink

“Tsukki, are you okay with some other guy taking care of her?” Yamaguchi questioned him

that was what made tsukishima put down his drink

jealousy was all he felt

he didn’t like the thought of someone else making you smile, making you laugh. What if you left forever? for another guy?

Tsukishima immediately left to find you and dragged you away from the guy

“what are yo-?” you exclaimed as tsukishima slammed you against the lockers and placing his hand next to the locker beside you

“i take it back” he said

You were confused, “i missed you, i realised my true feelings when i didn’t have you. I need you, please give me a chance. i like you Y/n” he says

you smiled as you hesitantly wrapped your arms around him

“One chance”

#haikyuu #hq #hq x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fanfiction #hq x reader fluff #sugawara x reader #suga x reader #koushi x reader #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima x reader angst #hw angst to fluff!au #tsukishima angst #nishinoya angst #nishinoya x reader #nishinoya fluff #sugawara angst #☀️

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grittyreadsfic · 3 years

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haha welcome to my newest rec list, what a run we had tho, a collection of all of my favorite nate bastian/mikey mcleod fics. rip superbuddies, they're not dead, nate's just in fuckin SEATTLE

the only hard part of making this list was not just listing out every fic ao3 user lotts has for the pairing which i did consider doing. so.

all that by lotts

summary: If Mikey gets a soulmate soon, he’ll have to explain the whole Nate situation.

Not– not that there's a real Nate situation, per se, but it’s just– Mikey has Nate, and it’s kind of a thing.

(Or: there very much is a Nate situation. There's also a Mikey situation. Eventually, they realize this.)

why i love it: to me, this is the superbuddies fic-it’s got the perfect pacing from friends to lovers with just the right around of blurred lines between what’s normal for friends and what’s something more, and their characterizations are just *chef’s kiss* it’s also such a great take on soulmates, and it really covers the different ways people can feel about their soulmates/the concept in general

kiss the night air by clementiae

summary: Jersey, Jersey. Whispered into the warmth of their laced fingers like a prayer.

It was a stupid dream. Mikey wanted it to last.

why i love it: never has under 1.3k words made me want to cry as much as this fic has. the way talking about their dream of playing together evolved, the narrative structure that builds? absolutely hits, very good if you want to cry about the expansion draft

sure thing by bitter_leaf

summary: In the history of hockey, there’s no way something like Nate suggested has never happened before and Mikey feels out of control following that thought down the rabbit hole, how he’d be powerless to stop it if it did, and that’s if he’d even want to stop it. The terrifying thing is that even though he can’t see it happening—they’re both straight, this whole fucking thing is just a thought experiment, pretend—now that Nate’s painted the picture for him, he can’t stop thinking about it—whether he’d even notice the signs until it was too late.

Sick of their teammates chirping them, Mikey and Nate pretend to date.

why i love it: i’m SUCH a sucker for fake dating aus, and this one does it so well. It really leans into the messy and complicated feelings part of fake relationships that i don’t think gets explored enough, and it handles it so, so, so well.

you let him wonder but you never let him sink in his teeth by anonymous

summary: Mikey didn’t really pay attention much in biology— didn’t have to, not really— but he vaguely remembers something about doing heat by yourself in a pinch. There were lots of warnings about it.

“You can’t just be alone,” he says and Nate lets out something that sounds like laughing.

Mikey is just trying to be helpful, and Nate is just trying to get through it.

why i love it: i really love omegaverse fics that invert the usual takes on the tropes (and this is one of them!) and it just really is a great look at their dynamic. i really like this take on mikey and nate as a whole, as well

though far away, we’re still the same by rathands

summary: Mikey wishes he wasn’t in love with Nate, because everyone knows that juniors shit—it doesn’t work out. Like Dylan and Mitch.

why i love it: lots of fun bad communication between nate and mikey, and i think this one really handles the emotion of it all so well. absolutely peak idiots to lovers, and i really love that it gives us both of their point of views

so i don’t have to keep imagining by preciousthings

summary: “It was a mistake. That’s— I didn’t mean that, and that’s it.” Mikey says, but he can’t quite meet Nate’s eyes. “That’s where I’m at, I guess.”

“That’s what I thought. So, we’re on the same page.” Nate nods.

(or: lost gold medals, ill-advised snapchats, love confessions, meddling teammates, and a whole lot of miscommunication.)

why i love it: i just think the premise of this works so, so, so well for them-it’s another great idiots to lovers vibe for nate and mikey, and the whole concept of drunkenly telling your crush you love them via snapchap? yes, good, correct

there is a bridge over a river, and some days it is lovely by lotts

summary: “What are you doing here?” Mikey asks, trying and failing not to stare, but Nate’s staring right back, like he’s also not sure what’s going on.

“I figured I’d meet you here,” Nate says. “Put a familiar face on the Binghamton welcoming committee.”

Mikey looks around. “There’s no one else here.”

“Well, it was either a familiar face or no face,” Nate says with an uncertain smile, like he’s not quite sure he’s allowed to make a joke.

why i love it: perhaps i love it because i like to hurt my own feelings, but this is really just a well done fic that really just hits. it’s honest and emotional and you can feel the weight of that throughout it, but it does have a pretty light hearted ending that is good and hopeful. bonus points for being one of my favorite break up make up fics ever and currently my most read fic of 2021

a catch in the curse by aliquis

summary: Mikey McLeod is gifted — or cursed — with the power of psychic persuasion. With the ability to bend people’s ears to his will, Mikey is well aware of how dangerous a power he wields, and the responsibility he bears to not abuse it.

Though he rarely uses his gifts, new developments in his friendship with Nate Bastian may threaten his control. Mikey would do anything to protect his best friend, including finding a way to get rid of his powers for good. Luckily, Newark’s own witch in the woods may be able to help.

why i love it: magic au!!!! i cannot stress how fantastic the world building is in this series (you don’t have to read the tknp fic that’s first to follow what’s happening, but it is worth the read) and mikey’s feelings towards nate and his own struggle is just!!!! honestly i’m just a series of exclamation points about it all

Invisible string by philatoi

summary: Mikey has known he’s liked guys since the first time Nathan Bastian smiled at him. That’s the thing, almost everything about Mikey’s sexuality has involved Nate — which isn’t necessarily bad. In Mikey’s humble opinion, Nate is the perfect person to fall in love with. Highly recommended. Mikey doesn’t regret putting all his eggs in that basket for the last six years.

why i love it: the pining in this, the emotions of it all-just absolutely top notch all the way around, and really just what i wanted out of a superbuddies fic. it really just feels so right for nate and mikey, and i just love it

you are a diamond and i’m just coal by hannah_baker

summary: When Mikey learns his roommate Nate isn't going home for Christmas, he drags Nate back home with him for break.

Or, the one where Mikey thinks all of his feelings for his roommate are platonic, and everyone laughs at him for it.

why i love it: me picking between this and hannah_baker’s other christmas centric superbuddies fic was like picking a favorite child. this is one of my all time favorite takes on mikey in any fic, and i always love a good college roommates au. just such a wonderful fic

turn the lights off, i’m in love by awoogah123

summary: “I can’t go to sleep yet,” Mikey murmured against Nate’s mouth, “I’m not tired.”

Nate knew this couldn’t be true, his and Mikey’s season had just finished and they were both exhausted. Still, Nate knew what Mikey meant when he said he couldn’t go to sleep yet, that he was too wired up, because he felt exactly the same way.

“I think I’ve got a way to make you more relaxed,” Nate said, mouth curving into a smirk as he brushed a hand over Mikey’s cheek. Mikey’s mouth smiled against his own.

***

Nate and Mikey are there for each other when the Devils don't make the playoffs.

why i love it: do you ever just need some soft comfort to cope? yeah me too! this fic is that and i was very 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 about it when i read it

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fyeah-bangtan7 · 3 years

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V: “I have a desire to perfect one cool thing about myself”

As he’s being interviewed, V speaks his mind at a relaxed pace. But there was one moment where he kept on speaking without taking a breath. Look for that moment in the interview below. You listen to a lot of old music on vinyl. Has any particular artist’s music excited you since your last interview with Weverse Magazine? V: I was listening to Louis Armstrong’s music again. And I picked up some albums with a pretty jacket that’s also got a lot of really good hits on it.

How do you feel when you’re listening to those classics? V: I feel like I’m beginning to relax a bit. If I listen to a song when I’m feeling depressed and then really get thinking, the things that are frustrating me disappear, and I can feel myself becoming more peaceful. And it makes me picture things in my head. For example, some songs might make me think of seeing something in front of me while walking down the road somewhere at night when I listen to them. I think setting the mood for listeners is the most important thing. The mood will presumably be different for everyone, but for me, those songs are the ones that are good at setting a really beautiful mood in the moment.

You said that you got inspiration from artists of the past like Sammy Davis Jr. for your performance in “Dynamite.” Was there any artist who inspired you for “Butter”? V: Well, there was Billy Joel. When I shoot a music video, I think of a movie more than any one artist. And when I perform on stage, for some songs I think of the way movies like Reservoir Dogs look. For “Butter,” I watched a lot of teen movies. And musicals. After that I randomly ended up seeing a video on YouTube of some scenes from an old teen movie Johnny Depp did [which turned out to be the movie Cry-Baby]. The image I got from that was really intense. That’s the look I used in “Butter.”

“Butter” felt like a teen musical to me and now I know why. V: I did it like a teen musical, just like you say. When we shot the “Butter” music video, I really, really tried to shoot the part in the elevator so it would feel like a teen movie. Although a lot of takes were edited, so not all of it’s there. (laughs)

What kind of feeling do you get from that kind of teen movie that you find so charming? V: For me, teen movies show a youthfulness that’s appropriate for the age. I think there’s an appropriate mix of emotion, energy, and a completely different and peculiar mood that everyone necessarily experiences at that age. If you watch teen movies, they’re overflowing with energy and full of sunny emotion, but behind it all they’re not as bright as they seem. They are really bright, but the color itself almost feels like some kind of filter. They feel like they have a different filter than other movies, so I tried thinking of teen movies when we shot the music video and put on performances.

That teen movie feeling seems to be divided in two between “Butter” and “Permission to Dance.” By the looks of the thumbnails for the fancam focus videos uploaded to the BANGTANTV YouTube channel, “Butter” seems to showcase a really cool character, while “Permission to Dance” is more teenagers smiling brightly for children. V: The teen movie vibe in “Butter” and “Permission to Dance” are different from one another. We showed the sunny image people usually think of when they think of teen movies in “Permission to Dance.”

Do you think that going with the teen movie vibe influenced your vocals to be the new style that you used? In “Butter,” you still had your signature vocals but without the deep notes, giving them a new feeling. V: That’s because, when we’re given a concept, we have to come up with vocals that fit with the concept. I think my singing style matched up with the concept, so I feel relatively satisfied. There was nothing majorly difficult about actually changing the style itself, since unlike changing your voice, you only have to change your vocal technique. Having said that, even though the notes in “Butter” were high for me, I still hit them! (laughs)

I guess hitting the high notes was your assignment this time around as a vocalist. V: I’ve been working a long time to make up for my weak points. For example, I thought I was weak when it comes to high notes because I sing low parts a lot and I tend to sing in a flowing way. But I had trouble when we were recording “Dynamite” and I had to sing the high notes during the chorus. I got so mad (laughs) so I practiced a lot.

How does it feel to see the results you’re seeing with “Butter” now after all that effort? V: I’m just trying not to rest on my laurels. Like instead of savoring the feeling, I feel like I should go to bed early for everything I have to do the next day? Getting back in tiptop shape quickly is what’s important, so I haven’t really had time to bask in the joy very much. I’m just working hard at the work I had like I always do.In your

New Year’s greeting on YouTube, you said you regretted not being able to put on the show for ARMY you wanted, and that your 2021 resolution is to “follow my own pace and pattern” when you work on music. Do you think your personal pace and your professional pace are in step this year? V: No. [My professional pace is] fast, so fast. (laughs) We have a lot we have to get ready for since we’re always promoting. It can be challenging sometimes, but in a way, I think it’s also given me a good opportunity to become a little stronger.

I imagine it’s meaningful to do the work for your own songs, because you can slip into your own world. You also made “Blue & Grey” when you were having a hard time, and it consequently became a song that allowed you to empathize with many people and vice versa. Looking back now, what kind of song do you think “Blue & Grey” will be remembered as? V: I think with “Blue & Grey” I just wanted the song to let people know how I was feeling, and how we were feeling, at that time a little better. Obviously everyone was having a hard time, but I think I wanted to share those emotions with ARMY as-is, including the pains we went through in our growth process. And, to put it another way, I think I just felt like making it obvious. (laughs) I thought it was okay to be that obvious, seeing as I couldn’t put those feelings into words. I just hope people could understand how I was feeling; it’s okay if it becomes forgotten later on.

In the “BE-hind Story” interview on YouTube, you talked about the first line of “Blue & Grey”: “Where is my angel?” You explained how, when you have any kind of issue, you close your eyes and wish for your angel to come and think. Are there times when it seems like your angel understands your feelings, as you just mentioned? V: I get a ton of answers by doing it. I’m not religious, but whenever I have some kind of issue, I close my eyes and think about it. Is this right, the way I’m thinking about this, or not? They’re just yes or no questions, like, Does my outfit look good today? Instead of just worrying about what you should do, if you tackle it in the form of a question, you get a response with the answer.

I guess it could work when you’re looking for inspiration in your life, but what about for your music? In your previous Weverse Magazine interview, you said you make a note whenever you feel something. V: I write in my diary in hopes that it’ll help with writing lyrics and so I don’t forget those feelings. I do it constantly—I open up my diary whenever something comes up. I copy melodies that pop up in my mind, lyrics, and other things from my diary to my notes app temporarily, and when I’m taking a break or I get the urge to work, I open my notes and say, Let’s try this out today, and run over to the studio.

You released “Snow Flower,” featuring Peakboy by V, on Christmas Day. Is that another song you ran to the studio to work on after the feeling came to you? V: For that song, when I was drinking with some older musicians, we were talking about doing a song together, and then we were like, Well, do you think we’ll have time to do that? So we decided to do it right then since everyone was available. My mixtape was delayed, so I at least wanted to play a different song for ARMY, and I thought, since I’m a bit tipsy (laughs) I thought I should try writing something. So I made the song really quickly. In maybe three hours.

Even though you made it quickly, the composition is somewhat complex and it has the same unique atmosphere that “Blue & Grey” did. V: There’s times when I’m, like, in the zone (laughs) and can make a song all in one sitting, but when I’m not feeling it, I end up revising it more and more. And I don’t want the composition to be too obvious, so I try to change up the way the melody flows. With that kind of sharp image coming to you almost immediately, what were you imagining for that song? V: You might think “Snow Flower” is about a type of snowflake, but I was actually thinking about snow and flowers separately. I started hoping that flowers wouldn’t wither away and just keep on blooming on snowy days. But in reality, when it snowed, all the flowers were crushed, the world became blanketed in snow, and I felt like the flower buds turned into snow flowers. I wrote that song about how I felt after watching that happen.

It must be important to feel things intuitively when you’re trying to express yourself through song. V: If it sounds pretty to me: approved. (laughs)

On the other hand, as a member of BTS, you have a job where you have to deal with a packed schedule and keep various situations in mind. How does that make you feel? When you celebrated your Billboard Hot 100 win on V LIVE and the topic of your clothes came up, you joked that you wore them to give off an idol vibe. V: It’s fun. It’s fun, but I could also say it’s hard. The performances are fun. I think idols should shine in a way that’s suitable for their age, and it’s important to do lots of things for fans like ARMY. Not just performances, but also posting pictures, having conversations on social media, making content. We’re artists and idols, so we think each and every one of those things is important. That sentiment won’t change just because we’ve achieved so much success.

You recently held an impromptu event on Weverse for ARMY. V: I’m sure there’s lots of ARMY out there who are tired of not being able to see us in person. But since the only thing we can do for them is to be on stage and stuff, I was worried that we’re not doing enough for them. And I love being able to talk with ARMY so much that now it’s like a habit that I read their posts. I have a thing today. I have a test today. I’m moving today. Somehow I feel better when I hear their stories. When I end up reading things like about how ARMY are living or what kind of lives ARMY have, I can’t help but write a response, and because of that ARMY respond, so I try to become friendlier in a more fun way, too. I want us to be more than the Billboard number one Bangtanies—I want to be ARMY’s partner, their best friend, the friend who’s always by their side when we’re not on stage. It feels like business when I talk about communicating with ARMY. (laughs) I just want to talk with a close friend. I wanna talk with a close friend—that’s exactly how I feel. It’s been a long time since I could see my friend, ARMY. Usually when friends can’t see each other they keep in touch all the time. I can talk about all kinds of things like that with ARMY thanks to the Weverse platform, and because I can hear all about their lives, I think I was able to go on Weverse and hold that kind of event.

You’ve been talking about ARMY nonstop for a few minutes. I was going to ask you how you feel about ARMY, but I think you already answered the question. (laughs) V: They’re just, well, friends I would hate to lose. Friends who seriously give me strength whenever they’re around. Sometimes you find friends like that in life. It’s like that with the other members, and I have other friends who I can share my feelings with. And I have ARMY. So I can’t help but do whatever I can do to make those people smile and make them feel happy.

Well then, is there a song you’ve heard that you want to let ARMY know about? A song that shares your feelings. V: Umm, recently … “No. 1 Party Anthem” by Arctic Monkeys. When I hear that song … I get emotional, somehow. I don’t usually listen to a lot of rock music, but I can instantly feel the band’s emotions with that song. I seriously get goosebumps listening to it, and emotional, and just all kinds of feelings. It’s to the point that, as soon as I hear that song, I think about how I really want to live well.

That song really means a lot to you. V: Actually, I don’t really know what’s up with that song. I don’t even know the lyrics, but I’m quite clear on what sort of emotions the melody and the band’s performance give me.

Don’t you feel like that’s an emotion you want to express to people, as an artist? Like you don’t have to explain your messages in detail? V: I don’t know. I just want to exchange the good, and be the one to embrace the bad. So I have a desire to perfect one cool thing about myself.

So how close do you think you are right now to becoming an artist who has perfected something cool? V: I’ll say 2%. It’ll go up someday later. (laughs)

#bangtan #v #m:weverse magazine #210729

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holidaywishes · 3 years

Text

Dusk Till Dawn

Requested: 👍

Summary/Request: 22 of the music prompts with Matthew Tkachuk please? “but you’ll never be alone / i’ll be with you from dusk till dawn” (dusk till dawn, zayn & sia) for @chuckythepest

Warning: fluff, maybe some angst, soft smut (I’ll be honest, I changed my mind about having a bit of smut in here or not and it’s not much but it’s there, so...)

Author’s Note: I’m sorry it’s taken me a little bit longer to write but hopefully it gives you what you’re looking for. I’ve never listened to this song so much in my life; I had it playing on repeat as I wrote this so I could really get a feel of what to write. My friend is a huge Matthew Tkachuk fan, really a huge Flames fan in general, but I have to admit I had to watch a lot of interviews to get a feel for the guy. I also wasn’t sure if I wanted it to be an angsty fic or a fluffy one because the song kinda has both vibes so honestly, it’ll be an adventure for the both of us. If you enjoyed this one, here’s the entire list of prompts. Feel free to send your requests through! Stay Golden, loves <3!

masterlist

the other masterlist

You had been on a vacation with a few of your friends in Cancun for about a week when you got the news that everything was going into lockdown

“What does this mean?” your friend, Beth, asked as she paced around the hotel room

“It means that everyone has to stay inside for a bit” you said

“No, what does that mean for us?” she asked again

“I guess it means that we have to isolate when we get home” another of your friends, Jenna, replied as she dropped onto the bed

“I wouldn’t have left if I knew we were gonna come back to a total nationwide, international lockdown!” Melanie, your childhood friend shouted frantically

“Okay, everyone calm down...” you sighed, “we knew this was a possibility, as much as we might want to say that we didn’t, we knew that we could get home and everything would be shut down”

“So what do we do?” Beth asked

“We...” you stammered, not having the answers but trying your best to stay calm, “we listen. We do what we’re told -- isolate, quarantine, get tested, all of it -- and then hopefully it’ll be over soon.” Your words were like a curse because as soon as you got back to St. Louis, the world seemed crazier than it ever was. Months went by and nothing changed. People were still getting sick, still dying, and there were still people who thought it was all a hoax. Birthdays were spent apart, friends stopped making an effort to keep in touch and it made everything feel... cold and sad. The only thing that seemed to make any sense was your friendship with Matthew.

“What’s up kid?” he texted one day after a particularly hard week and you just about broke down in front of your phone screen

“I lost my job...” you sent back

“Ah shit, I’m sorry”

“It’s fine but thank you”

“It’s not fine”

“I mean, no, but it’s not like it’s just me. Half of the world has lost their jobs”

“That doesn’t mean you have to be all fine about it”

“Matt, seriously, it’s fine”

“You say that now and then two days from now you’ll get pissed about someone else getting promoted”

“I wouldn’t do that”

“Not on purpose but stress can do things to a person...”

“I’ll be fine but thank you for caring so much”

“Anytime!” you smiled at his concern before changing the subject, checking in with his family, asking him about what was going to happen with the season, “I have no idea... everything is still shut down until further notice”

“I hope things get better by Christmas”

“At the rate things are going, I don’t think they will”

“Way to stay positive, Tkachuk” you scoffed to yourself

“It’s what I do 😜” the conversation didn’t last long after that and you went on a spiral of looking and applying for jobs; everything came crashing down when you’re grandpa got sick and you couldn’t visit him. You called the hospital every day, not wanting your grandpa to be alone, but they wouldn’t let you in, ‘protocols’ they said

“I don’t know what to do, Matt” you sobbed over the phone

“Relax,” he tried, “we’ll get you in there”

“They won’t let me in!” you argued, raising your voice in anger, “he’s dying and they won’t let me see him...”

“I can make sure you see him.”

Matthew’s P.O.V

You were trying your best to get (Y/N) into the hospital to see her grandpa but it was taking a lot more effort than you thought

“Please,” you begged the doctor, “he doesn’t have anyone else. She’s not getting any answers and she just wants to see him, even if it’s to say goodbye”

“I’m sorry. I can’t break the rules for your girlfriend” the doctor replied

“No--” you stammered, trying to backtrack, “she’s not my girlfriend. She’s my best friend and she wants to see her grandfather”

“I can’t break protocols for one person. We’re doing everything we can to keep him healthy and if we invite guests inside, it puts our patients at risk,” the doctor explained, “maybe we can set up a Zoom call”

“If he dies and she isn’t there, she will blame herself for the rest of her life”

“I’m sorry. I don’t have a choice...” you angrily hung up the phone, throwing it to the side while you thought up a plan before calling (Y/N).

“The doctor said no...” you said solemnly

“What?” she whimpered, “Matt, he can’t be alone there. In a hospital, he needs to be with people who love him”

“They said they have protocols,” you added, “but we can sneak in there...”

“Sneak into a hospital?” she scoffed, “Matthew, we’re not spies. We can’t sneak into a hospital during a pandemic”

“Just trust me”

“What happens if we get caught? If we get in trouble?”

“We’ll cross that bridge if we come to it”

“I can’t le--”

“Just trust me” you interrupted, convincing her that everything would be okay and ending the call. You made your way to the hospital where (Y/N)’s grandpa had been checked into and asked around about how someone could have visitors

“They’d have to be tested before they came and then retested, temperature checked, when they got here,” a nurse explained, “and then they’d have to sit behind a barrier with a mask on. It wouldn’t be any different than most other places -- we’re following the same guidelines and restrictions, we just have to be 10 times as careful because we have lives at stake”

“But if a family member did all that, the tests and followed the guidelines, they could come visit?” you asked, feeling like you might be getting close to a solution

“Hypothetically?” she started, “it’s possible but there would be a time limit. Maybe 10 minutes maximum and even that’s pushing it”

“I can work with that!” you smiled under your mask and rushed out of the hospital, texting (Y/N) about what needed to be done, the two of you rushing to a testing facility as fast as possible and waited impatiently for the results. When both of your results came back negative, you told her you’d make a call and get her in to see her grandpa; she hugged you tightly before a tear fell from her eye onto your exposed collarbone. “He’s gonna be okay” you whispered

“Thank you,” she replied, keeping her arms wrapped around your neck, “for doing all this for me”

“I know how much he means to you” you smiled at her when she finally let go of you, her eyes softening at your words. You and (Y/N) met when your dad was drafted to St. Louis and had been friends ever since, celebrating each others successes as the years went by. Her grandparents raised her after her mom died and her dad took off, she was only six years old; her grandma died two years later so it was (Y/N) and her grandpa against the world. They were inseparable and she would’ve done anything for him -- including letting you sweet talk a group of nurses to get her into a hospital during a global pandemic. You watched as she made her way down the hallway, the lack of visitors and laughter making everything suddenly feel real, she stopped in front of a large glass door clutching onto the coat that she held in her hands as she waited for someone to let her in. A doctor finally let her in but stayed close by, pulling her out after 10 minutes had passed, not a second more, “come on, man,” you begged, “let her have a little bit more time”

“I can’t” he replied before looking at (Y/N), “I really am sorry.” She nodded at the doctor before looking back toward her grandpa’s room and tucking herself into your side as you made your way out of the hospital. You started to drive her home but after miles of silence, she asked if you could take her to the park where the two of you used to sneak out to

“Yeah, sure” you agreed, keeping your voice soft and letting her rest her head against the window for the remainder of the ride. When you pulled up in front of the park and parked the car, you looked at (Y/N) noticing a stream of dried tears on her cheeks before she swung open the car door and ran to the swings. She did this every once in a while, tried to ignore her pain and focus on putting a smile on someone else’s face by pretending she was fine. You could always tell that she wasn’t fine but you couldn’t always bring her out of it, “(Y/N)...” you sighed

“Come on, Matty!” she called, pushing herself on the swing to see how high she could get, “let’s see if you can get higher than me!”

“(Y/N).. we don’t have to do this. We could just sit and talk if you wanted to...”

“Why? I wanted to come to the park to play, not to talk,” she challenged, “if I wanted to talk, I would’ve gone home or to your place...” you exhaled as you walked toward the free swing beside her, your eyes following her as they tried to catch a glimpse of her face; trying to gauge whether or not she was crying. She didn’t stay on the swing too much longer, instead choosing to jump onto the Merry Go-Round

“You’re gonna spin on this now?” you scoffed

“No,” she answered with a laugh, laying down on the cold metal, “you’re going to spin me and I’m gonna see how long it takes me to get dizzy.. Just like we used to do.” You obliged, letting the sound of her laughter fill the air while the old playground equipment squeaked below her. As you kept spinning her, you noticed that her once happy laughter had been replaced by whimpers and you fought to slow down the Merry Go-Round

“(Y/N)?” you asked as you rushed to her, “what’s wrong? what happened?”

“He’s all alone, Matt...” she cried, “you should’ve seen him, he was so weak and I just wanted to hug him and tell him everything was going to be okay but I don’t think he’s going to be okay...”

“Shhh,” you tried to calm her sobs, letting her head fall onto your shoulder, “I’m here”

“I don’t want him to be alone... I don’t want to be alone” she sobbed

“You’re not alone...” you whispered and she looked up at you, her eyes flooded with tears, “you’ll never be alone...” you could tell by the way she looked at you that she wanted you to kiss her but you couldn’t bring yourself to do anything, fearing that she was too vulnerable and you’d be taking advantage of her. So, you continued to hold her instead, for as long as she needed but when she lifted her head up from your shoulder to look at you once more, she made the first move, pressing her lips onto yours as dusk set in and the two of you were the only sound either of you could hear. Your lips moved in sync with hers as your hands laid firmly on her sides; rolling her onto her back slowly so she didn’t hit her head. Her hands roamed to the top of your zipper, pushing the slider down before you tore it off your body quickly, leaving her lips for just a second to throw the fabric behind you. As much as you wanted this to happen, you were still being careful and she could feel your hesitation

“What’s wrong?” she asked

“Nothing,” you lied, “I just want to make sure you’re okay with this. That you’re not just doing this because you’re upset...”

“I know what I’m doing, Matt” she smiled.

When Matt started to drive you home, you asked him to redirect you to the park the two of you used to go as kids; so you could feel a little less like the world was falling apart

“Yeah, sure” he said softly before your head fell against the window as you waited for him to pull up to the park. You had managed to keep your crying quiet enough that, when he saw you, Matt was surprised to see the stream of tears on your cheeks. You pressed your lips together before you rushed out of the car toward the old swing set, jumping on and trying to get as high off the ground as possible

“(Y/N)...” Matt sighed and the tone of his voice was all too familiar so you ignored it

“Come on, Matty!” you laughed when you called to him, “let’s see if you can get higher than me!”

“(Y/N).. we don’t have to do this. We could just sit and talk if you wanted to...” he tried but you shook your head. You just wanted to forget what you’d just seen, forget about what was happening, forget that you might have to be alone again and you really didn’t want to be alone again

“Why?” you urged, “I wanted to come to the park to play not to talk. If I wanted to talk I would’ve gone home or to your place...” he finally walked to the swing next to you and began pumping his legs to meet your height before you could feel him watching you, leading you to hop off the swing and head to the next piece of equipment from your childhood; the Merry Go-Round.

“You’re gonna spin on this now?” Matt scoffed as he followed you to the metal death trap that you climbed on

“No,” you replied, chuckling at his question before lying down, your exposed skin meeting the cold metal below you, “you’re going to spin me and I’m gonna see how long it takes me to get dizzy.. Just like we used to do.” He compressed his lips and did as you asked, spinning you quickly and you laughed as you got increasingly dizzy with every turn before your grandpa’s face popped into your head; tears overcoming you as whimpers left your lips. Matt quickly dug his feet into the ground to stop the Merry Go-Round

“(Y/N)? What’s wrong?” he rushed to you, pulling you close to him, “what happened?”

“He’s all alone, Matt,” you cried as you remembered your grandpa in the hospital. He was all you had and the idea of him not being with you terrified you, “you should’ve seen him, he was so weak and I just wanted to hug him and tell him everything was going to be okay but I don’t think he’s going to be okay...” you shook your head frantically at the thought

“Shhh..” he hushed you, letting your head fall on his shoulder, “I’m here”

“I don’t want him to be alone... I don’t want to be alone” you sobbed

“You’re not alone,” he whispered and you felt his body move closer to yours, just to close the space between you, your eyes continuing to brim with tears, “you’ll never be alone.” Whether it was your fear of being alone, of losing the only person who had ever loved you, or if you just wanted to be close to someone, anybody, you looked up at Matt with soft eyes, hoping he’d make a move. But he didn’t. He just held you and, as nice as it was, it wasn’t what you wanted. You lifted your head once more, this time moving your lips closer to his as the sky filled with the dark hues of dusk, his breath brushing across your skin before your lips connected with his. He pressed his hand against your waist as he kissed you slowly, your lips parting just enough for his tongue to inch into your mouth before he shifted his body to lay your back onto the Merry Go-Round, holding your head with his free hand so you didn’t hurt yourself. Your hands found their way to the zipper of his hoodie, sliding it down and pushing the fabric from his arms and he left the kiss just for a second to easily throw away his hoodie, leaning back over you while you waited for him to continue kissing you but he pulled away

“What’s wrong?” you asked, sitting up as he did and you leaned against his back

“Nothing...” he said but you could tell he was lying, “I just want to make sure you’re okay with this. That you’re not just doing this because you’re upset...”

“I know what I’m doing, Matt” you scoffed and he turned his head back to you

“I know you do,” he smiled, kissing your nose playfully, “I just want you to know that you don’t have to”

“I want to” you replied, placing your hand on the side of his face to bring him closer to you, pressing your lips against his and twisting his body back on top of yours. You melted into each other, your breathing in sync as you undid the button of his jeans, setting him free before his hands drifted to push your leggings down. His lips trailed to your neck as he pushed himself into you, eliciting a quiet moan from you and a growl from him when you dug your nails into his skin. You tried not to make too much noise, worrying that the park was still too close to the neighbouring houses, but every once in a while you whined out a curse word

“Fuck,” Matthew moaned out before you could, “oh god” he grunted against your neck as he continued to pump in and out of you, your back arching to gain more friction

“Shit,” you whimpered, “fuck.” His speed increased and you giggled when you heard the Merry Go-Round start to squeak

“Shh” he chuckled

“I’m sorry” you laughed back, trying to focus more on the pleasure than the noise and after a few minutes, Matt released inside you and rolled to the side. You curled up beside him, placing your hand on his chest before you fell asleep next to him. You woke up with the dawn, letting Matt sleep while you watched the Sky lighten

“Good morning” he cooed, kissing your shoulder as he sat up

“Good morning,” you smiled, turning to lay a kiss to his lips, “we should probably get out of here before someone rats us out” he laughed but nodded in response, grabbing his hoodie from the ground and wrapping it around you. You watched him drive smoothly through the streets and you smiled to yourself

“What?” he smirked

“Nothing,” you replied, “I just... like you a whole lot”

“That so?” He chuckled to himself

“Yeah”

“Well, I guess it’s a good thing I like you a whole lot, too.” He reached out his hand to interlock his fingers with yours and a flush of heat ran through your body. He had managed to make you forget about everything for a while and you were grateful to him for that but you were still scared that you’d end up alone in the long run. “Hey,” he said, seemingly catching your eyes fall to your lap, “I meant what I said last night”

“What?” You replied, furrowing your brow

“You’ll never be alone. I’ll always be here for you”

“Thank you,” you smiled, dropping your head on the headrest, “for everything.”

“Any time” he smirked, bringing your hand up so he could kiss it while the two of you drove silently back to his house.

#Matthew Tkachuk #Matthew Tkachuk fic #Matthew Tkachuk imagine #Matthew Tkachuk request #Matthew Tkachuk prompt #Song Prompt #Music Prompt #dusk till dawn #dusk till dawn prompt #ZAYN and sia #request #fic request #imagine request #prompt request #song prompt request #masterlist #the other masterlist #hockey #nhl

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tobinheath · 3 years

Text

Leah Williamson and Keira Walsh have shared enough “written in the stars” moments in their 23 years to make them feel that they were fated to be best friends. Since meeting on an England Under-15s camp, their football careers have played out with a striking, almost eerie, similarity. They each play for their childhood clubs — Williamson for Arsenal, Walsh for Manchester City — and have a knack of picking up the same injuries at the same time.

They both received their first senior call-up on the same day in 2017. The 2019 World Cup was their first senior England tournament: they called each other to celebrate even before they called their parents, which resulted in Williamson shrieking “bloody hell — what have we done here?” in tears outside a London branch of Nando’s.

Most memorably, Williamson made her England debut coming on for Walsh, in the final six minutes of a World Cup qualifier against Russia in 2018. “My mum’s just framing my shirt, pestering me for that picture,” Williamson says.

Walsh interrupts, giddily. “I think that’s the only time I’ve actually done a full-teeth smile. I was so buzzing.”

“Yeah,” remembers Williamson, “because I was game faced, and you proper smiled at me and I went…” before jerking her mouth into a tight-lipped, nervous smile, chuckling.

“If it was anyone else,” Walsh picks up, “I’d have been, like: ‘I don’t want to come off’. But as soon as I saw it was Leah, I was buzzing.”

This is life at the top for two of England’s most talented young players: phenomenal success and too many good memories to count.

Today, best friends will turn opponent and they will face each other in the Women’s Super League (WSL) for the first time this season — hosts Manchester City are fourth, four points behind second-placed Arsenal — with Williamson pointing out that in a pre-COVID-19 world, she would have stayed after the match with Walsh’s family in Rochdale, where Walsh’s mother Tracy is “just like my mum”.

Over the hour they spent together on Zoom, they are gloriously good fun: warm, ebullient and habitually careering into laughter. They balance each other out, Walsh says: she is “shy and awkward” — though you would not know it here — and Williamson is the “buffer” in certain situations, and the more “logical” one of the two. Williamson views Walsh as the honest one, sometimes brutally so. “I have to step in sometimes and give it a smile and keep it balanced,” she says. “If I play a game and I’m not actually sure how it went, I would text Keira, because I know I’d get the most honest answer from anybody, even if that means it’s not what I want to hear. I think that is where the respect comes from.”

To track the pair’s football careers has been to often forget how young they are. Walsh made her City debut a few months after her 17th birthday and in November this year, Williamson played her 150th game for Arsenal. It is common for those in women’s football to grow up fast but in conversation, one is reminded of the duo’s gleeful, wonderful youth. There was the time, for instance, they rented electric scooters one afternoon at the World Cup in France to explore with Walsh’s Manchester City team-mate Georgia Stanway. The room-mates — Stanway with Williamson, Walsh with Lucy Bronze — had a group chat titled “The three best friends and Lucy”. Stanway, the youngest England player at the tournament, sped ahead on her scooter and they had to “rein her back in”, Williamson says.

“You were being a bit of a Cautious Claire, weren’t you?” teases Walsh, turning to Williamson, “probably as you should do at a World Cup. I think we were just enjoying being kids, weren’t we? Obviously, we were playing, and the reason we were there was to win, but we have so much free time that we were just enjoying being the younger ones.”

“All the older ones… that’s what they kept saying to us,” says Williamson. “Kaz Carney was like: ‘Make sure you enjoy your time now, because hopefully one day you will be the senior ones and there’ll be a lot more pressure on you. Just have the best time ever, make as many memories as possible. Jill Scott — I mean, she was a bit more wild than we are — said she’s got some of the best memories ever from those early tournaments and she wished she could do it again. I don’t think we wanted to waste a second.”

Do not presume, though, that the pair are anything other than serious competitors. By 20, Walsh had won every domestic title going: the WSL, FA Cup and League Cup. Williamson has won the league once, the FA Cup twice and the League Cup twice, finishing as runner-up in the latter to Walsh’s City in 2019. Walsh, an artful holding midfielder in the mould of Sergio Busquets — she grew up watching clips of him and David Silva with her father — will be among the most important players in the England squad moving forward and Williamson, capped 17 times, is touted as a future England captain.

It has not always been easy, though. An early test came in the form of Williamson’s ankle injury, sustained playing for Arsenal against Walsh’s Blackburn Rovers in the FA Youth Cup final. It was so traumatic Walsh admits there are still occasions she will search for Williamson’s results, see her friend has come off and think, “Please tell me it’s not her ankles again. My mum mentions it to me. She’ll say: ‘Did you see Leah came off?’” She addresses Williamson. “Because I’ve seen you in person do it, I feel like I automatically panic. When I see you at camp two weeks later, you’re like: ‘Maybe I was being a bit soft when I came off — it’s nothing to do with my ankles’. But I know what you’ve been through with them, so it is the first thing I think about.”

Williamson, in her own words, “basically just snapped my ankle and everything in it” after misplanting her foot. Stretcher, gas and air, a wheelchair, a doctor advising her to go straight to hospital. “I’m trying to fight back the tears and she’s nearly crying looking at me as well,” Williamson remembers. She stayed at the game because Arsenal had lost the season prior and she wanted to collect her winner’s medal.

“I think I played most of the game thinking, ‘I just hope she’s OK’,” says Walsh. “The only thing I actually remember from that game — not the goals or anything — was afterwards, I saw Leah on the side in a wheelchair with an Arsenal bobble hat on, having to wheel herself on to get her winner’s medal.”

A few months on from Williamson’s injury, Walsh damaged her ankle ligaments — it was an impact injury, and on her laptop, Williamson has pictures of her and Walsh “in wheelchairs at different times”. Walsh collected her second ankle injury at a training camp in La Manga, by which point Williamson’s ankles had betrayed her again. “We were both sat on the bench laughing because it was just crazy luck that we’d both done it again,” Walsh smiles. “I knew I couldn’t sit there feeling sorry for myself next to you.”

During their separate rehabilitation processes, they maintained the habit of visiting each other as often as they could. Their close friendship meant they were never allowed to share a room on international duty to ensure they didn’t isolate themselves from the rest of the group. Walsh was the class clown and Williamson the captain, meaning that “Leah would always get told off for me. They’d always be like: ‘Leah! You need to tell Keira she needs to be a bit more professional!’”

What it all meant was they had lost time to make up elsewhere. Each Christmas, Walsh would come to London from Rochdale and Williamson’s mother Amanda “would treat us to something from Jack Wills. That was like an annual little thing that we did, because I don’t think that I’d ever heard of Jack Wills, being from the north, until I met all these southerners at camp that used to wear it. I think I actually used to go down to see Amanda more than you, to be honest.”

What did they think of each other when they first met?

“You first,” says Williamson.

“No — you go,” Walsh replies.

“I’m going to big you up here,” Williamson begins. “Keira’s always been… she was always one of the best there, and you always want to be mates with the good ones.”

Walsh returns the favour: “I think I was quite jealous of you when you first came because everyone was like: ‘She’s amazing. I was thinking, I want to be amazing, as well, so I want to be friends with her.”

“That’s good, that we both thought the same thing.”

“There you go, then. That’s why we’re friends.”

“I’d say I’m your fangirl, Keira. I’m your hype man.”

Walsh has always been Williamson’s biggest supporter — “when you scored your first goal for England, I think I was happier for you than I would have been if I’d scored” — but probably has good reason to worry about Williamson calling herself a hype man. Before the World Cup, Williamson visited Cex, the second-hand goods chain, and spent £50 on some DJ decks to master during downtime at the tournament.

“I just looked across the corridor and I was like, ‘What is that noise? I’m sure that’s Leah’s room’,” Walsh recalls. “I opened the door and you had these big headphones on, mixing the decks. I saw Georgia just lying on the bed and I was like, ‘What is going on in here?’ They had the balcony door open and you were like: ‘Wait for the drop. Wait for the drop’. I was like: ‘OK – I’ll wait for the drop. You like your music, you are good with music and you actually might be very good. I trust you’. And the drop just never came.”

Williamson hoots with laughter. “Never came. I thought it would be so much easier than it was. It was so hard.” She shakes her head, jokingly rueful. “Massive flop. Massive flop.”

“I feel like you just try your hand at loads of random stuff,” continues Walsh. “I see you on camp and you’re like: ‘I’m doing the harmonica now’.”

Williamson says she has “found her calling” playing the piano in lockdown, but Walsh is unimpressed. “It’s just you try to give off this cool vibe and I feel like people don’t really know you. It just makes me laugh. What have you got — a lightsaber pen? And Star Wars pyjamas? People would just not think that. When you see the exterior of Leah, you would just think, ‘No – not Star Wars’. She’s done all these photoshoots, she’s dead cool, and then she just whacks out the craziest stuff and just makes me laugh.”

Williamson holds up her hands. “It’s true. I can’t deny it.”

The World Cup was particularly testing for Walsh, for whom fierce social media criticism left her questioning whether she wanted to continue to play football. Walsh has spoken numerous times about the impact on her confidence, but what was it like for Williamson, who did not feature as much as Walsh, to witness? She pauses. “I think it’s hard,” she begins, “because you just feel so powerless when you’re not playing. It’s not even like I can go on the pitch and have a shocker to save her from the criticism,” she laughs. “If I tell Keira she’s great, there’s a slight bit of her that’s… I’m her best mate, so I’m going to try and pick her up as much as possible.

“The main thing, especially from a squad perspective, is that we all know how valuable Keira is to us and how — I’m bigging you up here — she’s the centre of what we’re doing as a team. It just annoys me. I wish I could eradicate all those other people because we, as a team, appreciate her so much. That’s all I ever said to Keira – if anybody was picking a team, you’d be the first name on the teamsheet. But it’s hard to get… like I say, I’m her best mate, so I’m honest with her, but at the same time, she probably needed to hear that a little bit more.”

They didn’t talk about it so much, Walsh says. “Because you weren’t playing, I didn’t want to put that on you because I felt like it would be selfish,” she adds. “I thought, at the time: you know what? We’ll just make the best of it off the pitch, and I think that’s why we had such a good time.” Williamson’s first appearance, from the bench in the round-of-16 match against Cameroon, changed Walsh’s perspective “because I was just so happy for you that I didn’t care what people would say about me at that moment. People could say whatever they wanted because I’ve just played in a World Cup with my best friend. Not many people can say that.”

To be best friends, as professional athletes, is a balancing act: in any other walk of life, they would — could — rage at each other, moan, weep, get angry. As professional footballers, they are wary of distracting the other. “I know what you want to achieve, so my problems taking a back seat is fine with me if I know you’re going on to achieve what you want to achieve,” Walsh tells Williamson.

To Sunday, then, and what will happen when two best friends turn competitors for 90 minutes. Walsh smirks. “I feel like you try and keep a really focused head, and then I’ll just be like…” she cups her hands for a high-pitched whisper and springs up like a Jack in a box. “’Leah!’” Williamson rollicks back with laughter. “Then she’ll turn around and she’ll start laughing, but I do it because I know she’s going to laugh and I know that she’s trying to focus. I feel like I’m a lot more relaxed than you. You’re like, ‘Game face, game head, here we go’, and you just have that annoying friend in the background.”

Stanway is the worst, apparently, to the point where Walsh and Williamson will intervene — Williamson with a stern “we’re not having that today” when Stanway inevitably flattens her early doors. “We always text each other a couple of days, speak to each other earlier on in the week before we play each other,” says Williamson of her and Walsh.

“In the game and stuff, we have our little tiffs, and if I say something and she doesn’t agree with it, we’re both playing for the win, and we both understand that,” Walsh concludes, “but then afterwards, we’re straight over to each other.”

She starts to sign off, but Williamson beats her to it. “See you Sunday,” they chorus, in unison.

#leah williamson #keira walsh #lionesses #arsenal wfc #mcwfc

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carryonmywaywardcaptain · 4 years

Text

Imagine...finding out there’s fanfic written about you--and even Charlie ships you with Dean

CarryOnCap’s Masterlist

Warnings: Fluff? Crack? A dramatic fanfic within a fanfic that I got carried away with haha.

A/N: This is kind of ridiculous, but I had fun with it! Also, I’ve never actually seen GoT but it seemed like a reasonable reference from what I’ve heard about it.

“Hey, look who I found!” Sam’s voice echoed through the War Room.

Dean glanced at you from across the table in the library, sharing your surprised expression as you both pushed your chairs away and stood.

“‘Sup, bitches?” Charlie grinned, making her way up the steps toward you.

“Hey! We were expecting you guys to come in through the main door. We’ve been keeping an ear out.”

Charlie stepped into your outstretched arms and pulled you into a tight hug. “It was a spur of the moment decision, but I decided to stick around a day or two longer than planned! Sam said I could go ahead and park in the garage.”

She let go of you and turned to give Dean a hug too. He smiled softly with a look that was uniquely reserved for her, cradling the back of her head while she pressed her cheek against his.

“Good to see you, Charlie. You know you’re always welcome to stay as long as you want.”

An involuntary smile crept onto your face as you watched them. You couldn’t help the way your heart swelled at the low rumble in his voice when he said her name. There was an undeniable protectiveness in his tone when he spoke to her--the sister he’d never wanted, as he affectionately called her.

When you shifted your attention to her, you noticed she was watching you. Before you could decipher the knowing glint in her eye, she suddenly twisted out of his arms and glanced back and forth between you and Dean. She began swinging her arms awkwardly before opting to cross them over her chest.

“You okay?” Dean asked, furrowing his brow.

“Yeah! Of course...Totes chill...cooler than a pack of peppermints.” She bobbed her head and flashed a nervous smile, twisting her hair around her finger as she struggled to act nonchalant. “It’s just that I remembered something. A story I read a while back--completely random. Totally unrelated to anything--I mean, now I’m starting to ramble. Hah! So how’ve you guys been? Still saving the world from evil sons-of-bitches?”

“Uh, yeah…” Sam answered, scrunching his eyebrows together. “We stay busy.”

“So what’s on the agenda tonight?” you piped up, changing the subject.

You were hoping to avoid swapping monster stories for a night. Charlie typically assumed the role of introducing you to popular and noteworthy fandoms during her visits to the bunker and, even if the boys weren’t as vocal, the three of you appreciated her knowledge of all things geeky and nerdy.

“I was thinking Marvel. Y/N, you’re obviously well-versed in the MCU because of your obsession with Steve Rogers--and, you know, clearly you’ve got a thing for the strong, righteous, self-sacrificing hero type. Dean, you could stand to branch out from the Batman references and, Sam, you’ve got this whole Thor kind of vibe going on.”

While Sam and Dean began teasing each other and arguing over “Batman versus Thor,” you gaped at Charlie, wondering what she’d meant by her remark about you having a “type.” You couldn’t help feeling like she was trying to insinuate something, but you shrugged it off and decided maybe it was all in your head.

***

After getting Charlie settled into one of the extra bedrooms, the four of you settled into the Dean Cave and agreed to start with the first Captain America movie.

Last Christmas, you and Sam had teamed up to surprise Dean with a couch for the Dean Cave. He had originally only had two La-Z-boy recliners and you’d found him fast asleep in the stiff old chairs on more than one occasion. Dean had been over the moon about the extra seating and the three of you had rearranged the furniture so the recliners were angled toward the tv on either side of the couch.

“Dibs on this side of the couch!” Charlie said, diving toward the furthest end from the door.

Although it was subtle, you knew there was still something off about the way Charlie studied all of you. There was definitely something on her mind she was trying to keep hidden from all of you.

“You know, we should probably have some snacks,” you said slowly. “Charlie, you want to come help me grab some stuff from the kitchen?”

“But I’m already comfy in my spot.” She frowned, wiggling her hips to make a point of sinking deeper into the spot she’d claimed on the couch. ��Why don’t you have Dean help you?”

When you narrowed your eyes suspiciously, Sam cleared his throat. “Dean, why don’t I help you grab some snacks while Y/N and Charlie...catch up, er, whatever…”

You heard the boys leave the room and waited until their footsteps faded down the hall before you started interrogating her.

“Alright, Charlie--what the hell is going on with you?”

“I don’t know what you're talking about,” she muttered, scrolling through her phone.

“Bull. We lie for a living and I know there’s something you’re not telling us. So spill.”

“Fine,” she sighed. “Okay, so remember the Supernatural books by Carver Edlund?”

“Yeah…”

“The series obviously kind of had a cult following when it was in print, right? Well ever since the unpublished works got uploaded, the following has really taken off. Every once in a while a new one still pops up and the fans love them. And you’re in them now too!”

“I’m...what?”

“I mean it’s just insane and totally got sucked into it too. It’s brought on this whole new wave of fanfiction--”

“What’s fanfiction?” you cut in, struggling to keep up.

“It’s fiction made by the fans about the series. Sometimes they put themselves in the stories and write about working cases and fighting monsters with you guys--”

“Why would anyone want to pretend to do this crap with their lives?”

She stared at you for a moment and frowned. “Because you guys are heroes. I mean, yeah, there’s the whole depressing side of monsters and death and trauma and world-ending apocalypses--but you guys save people. You go on these exciting adventures of good versus evil and a lot of times you win. You save people. The fans really look up to all of you.”

Your gaze fell to the floor as you let her words sink in, but she didn’t give you long before she was rambling again.

“But that’s not even the best part! Everyone ships different OTPs--” she paused, noticing your puzzled expression “--uh, one true pairing… So everyone has a favorite couple they think are soulmates and belong together. There’s stories about Sam with Eileen or Jess, Dean with different people--you get the gist. Sometimes they even make up characters or do these ‘reader inserts’ and imagine themselves with the boys or you but, hands down, everyone’s favorite couple they want to end up together is you and Dean.”

“...what?”

Your eyes grew wide. It was hard enough to wrap your mind around the fact that strangers who didn’t know you were a real person were reading about your life, but learning they imagined you in different relationships? You’d never admit it out loud, but had it bad for Dean. And hearing you weren’t the only one that wanted the two of you together...

“I’ve gone deep into the fic and I can’t believe I didn’t see it sooner!” Charlie shook you from your thoughts. “You and Dean are perfect for each other. For serious. I usually stick to the fluffy stuff because, you know, your entire life is kind of angsty and I don’t like to read about you guys being in pain or, like, dying...again. Although I definitely have to admit I kind of stumbled into some of the smutty stuff and, wow, that was something else.”

You opened your mouth to ask more questions, but she kept rolling.

“Right, you probably don’t know what that means either. Fluff is the cute stuff that gives us all feels, angst is kind of just what it sounds like, and smut is, well...the sexy stuff.”

“You mean people out there in the world write about me and Dean…”

“Going at it like an episode of Game of Thrones? Oh yeah,” she responded, unlocking her phone. “Here. Here’s an example.”

Swallowing audibly, you took a seat next to her on the couch as she extended her phone toward you. Gnawing your bottom lip, you began reading the words on the screen:

Y/N took a deep breath, holding it in briefly before she exhaled and began walking toward Dean’s room. Ever since they returned from the hunt, Dean had hidden himself away in his room--no doubt blaming himself for everything that had gone wrong.

When she arrived at his door, she raised her hand to knock. She hesitated, almost retreating at the thought of him turning her away, but she had to try. She had to get through to him somehow.

She rapped her knuckles on the raw umber barrier and opened the door of Room 11 before he could tell her to go away.

She spotted him leaning over the sink, staring at his reflection in the medicine cabinet on the wall. His jade eyes flickered to where she stood in the doorway, their reflection somewhat distorted by cracks that spiderwebbed from where he had struck the mirror.

Her heart seemed to drop into her stomach as she imagined him lashing out, knowing he punched the mirror because he hated the reflection staring back at him. Knowing he always carried the weight of the world on his shoulders when he didn’t need to.

Y/N carefully shut the door and locked it behind her--the click of the deadbolt deafening in the silence. Her eyes never left Dean, who refused to turn and face her. She inched toward him, closing the distance until she could reach out and touch him. Gently placing her hand on his shoulder, she guided him to turn away from the mirror. Still, he refused to meet her eyes.

“Dean…” she breathed, voice barely above a whisper as she cupped his face in her hands. “It’s not your fault.”

He squeezed his eyes closed, face contorting with grief and guilt. The ghosts of his past refused to let him go, but she was determined to make him believe that he was worthy, no matter the cost.

Curling a finger beneath his chin, she tilted his head up, waiting patiently for him to meet her gaze. When his dark green orbs finally met hers, she was surprised to see that they were full of longing and desire. They flickered to her lips, making her breath tremble under the intensity of his gaze. Time seemed to slow until it froze altogether.

Anticipation hung heavy in the air as they both struggled against their desire to maintain the friendship they’d always had and the desperate need to finally cross that line. To succumb to the magnetic pull that had always been evident between the two of them.

Dean swallowed thickly before suddenly rushing forward, crashing his lips to Y/N’s as he pulled her into a searing kiss. He wrapped his strong arms around her, trapping her to his chest, afraid it was all a dream and she would soon disappear. But she gladly melted into his embrace, feeling like she was finally returning home, to a place she’d spent her life searching for.

A moan slipped past her lips as he walked her backward, pressing her up against the wall. She gasped, feeling his--

“The snacks have arrived!”

You jumped in surprise, a small gasp of surprise escaping as the boys appeared with armloads of snacks. Confusion and worry painted Dean’s face as he surveyed your flustered expression. Between his scrutinizing gaze and the content you’d practically been caught reading, your cheeks grew warm.

“Did I miss something?” Dean asked.

“Nope,” you responded much too quickly.

Charlie’s phone had fallen into your lap and, when she began cackling, you whipped your head in her direction and flung the phone at her thigh. You grimaced and the two of you had your own silent conversation as the boys spread the food across the bar Dean had built on the far wall.

“I was just telling Y/N how pumped I am about seeing my favorite OTP tonight,” she giggled.

“Your...what?”

Dean’s arm brushed yours as he plopped down on the other side of you. The accidental contact sent a wave of chills over your skin, making you shudder. You could feel his eyes on you again, but you refused to look at him.

“Oh, I’m so going down with this ship,” Charlie whispered under her breath before continuing in a louder voice. “Nothing--nevermind! Don’t mind me, just thinking out loud...”

“It says here an OTP means...one true pairing?” Your eyes grew wide as you looked to where Sam was reading his phone from where he sat in one of the recliners. “So, uh, ‘in the fandom realm, OTP refers to the coupling of characters--usually from the sci-fi or fantasy genres--by fans who think they make a great romantic duo and envision their lives together and share their imaginings with other fans.’”*

Charlie doubled over, beside herself with laughter. With your lips pressed into a firm line, you glanced at the boys to gauge their reactions. You knew there was no way they could possibly know what you and Charlie had been talking about, but that didn’t stop you from worrying about what Dean might think if he ever found out about the feelings you harbored for him.

“So...you’re looking forward to Cap and his girl in the movie? I’m so freaking confused,” Dean grumbled.

“Yeah…” Sam agreed, making his way to the tv. “I’m just, uh...I’m gonna start the movie now.”

“Good idea.” Charlie peered at you out of the corner of her eye. “Plenty of time to read and talk about all those ships later.”

Although you glared at her, trying to hide your amusement, nothing could deter the smug smile etched upon her face. As Sam turned the lights off and you settled in for another relaxing night with your favorite people, one thing was certain:

You were definitely going to have to take another look at that fanfiction.

CarryOnCap Crew (Forevers):

@abswritesfandoms @amanda-teaches @cosicas-cuquis @crist1216 @droidyouseek @emoryhemsworth @ericaprice2008 @flawless-disaster @janeyboo @jenn0755 @ksgeekgirl @maresmiley @memyselfandmaddox @notyourtypicalrose @randomparanoid @rynabarnesrogers @sandlee44 @scarletsoldierrr @shann-the-artist-moon @sheerioasteroidpanda @shynara51 @someday-when-you-leave-me @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan @thisismysecrethappyplace @torntaltos @waywardbaby @waywardrose13 @weebid @whimsicalrobots @wintersoldierbaby @wintersoldierissucharide @yesfanficsaremylife

Cap’s SPN Crew:

@adoptdontshoppets @akshi8278 @alexwinchester23 @chevyharvelle @deangirl7695 @dean-winchesters-bacon @fandomoniumflurry @pisces-cutie @supernaturalenchanted @superromijn @waywardnerd67 @x-waywardaf-x

#supernatural imagine #spn imagine #dean winchester imagine #supernatural reader insert #spn reader insert #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x you #dean winchester x y/n #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester fic #dean winchester fluff #supernatural fluff #dean x read #dean x y/n

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natolesims · 3 years

Note

Same anon here, thank you!!! Do you have any specific worlbuilding in your story? Are you only playing with the disney princesses or do you have other disney characters mixed up? And I loved how you made this HUUUUGE plot twist with Cinderella! Are you doing the same with the next princesses? And about the side stories!! Are there more to come? I'm sorry if I'm being annoying, but I'm so loving all you do!!

My, these are important questions xD This is way too long to answer normally, so I'm writing all you want to know under the cut! I'm sorry, It is really long. I apologize in advance :')

If you have some spare time and are curious about this stuff of my legacy story, check this out. It my explain some things, hehe.

1. WORLDBUILDING

There is a "complex and connected" universe in this, yes, but I do not limit a story to the same sim world. I imagine certain game worlds as specific areas with their own social problems, forms of government and characteristic population. Still, I jump from world to world using specific lots or scenery places thay might complement the current chapters or, if I happen to need it, I'll rebuild the whole world again for upcoming generations if I'm already done with the previous ones.

For example:

In Snow White (the H.E.A. founder) the story developed in Windenburg and Windenburg only. Not even the whole world was used for the story, only three lots (The White Manor, Eis' cottage and the flower shop).

Cinderella and The Princess and The Frog develop in Willow Creek, but it's not the same Willow Creek. The only permanent lots are the royal palace and a couple of residential lots (the Tremaine and Bonfamille manors), but I redesigned the whole world for each arc. Ella's story took place in a more high-class victorian part of the kingdom, and Tiana's will be in a New Orlean-ish, humble zone with some vip spots. The townies are different and the social situation changes as well. I'll be also using specific locations from Windenburg, implying those scenes are still having place in some other unknown part of Willow Creek.

In some upcoming generations, I'm merging worlds into a whole area. In Rapunzel and The Beauty and The Beast, Glimmerbrook, Granite Falls and Henford-On-Bagley, as well as specific Windenburg areas, share the same territory.

This is a bit confusing, but it works for me :'D So far, this is how I've organized the story world in the save (mild spoilers):

Willow Creek + Magnolia Promenade: Kingdom ruled by a strong monarchy. Population: Humans and Hybrids** Connections with: Britechester, Newcrest.

Oasis Springs + Strangerville: Emirate and local mayoralties. Population: Humans, spellcasters, undercover aliens. No near connections.

Brindleton Bay: Mayoralty. Population: Humans and Hybrids. Connections with: Henford-On-Bagley, San Myshuno (not that close, but reachable).

Mt. Komorebi: Parlamentarism. Isolated area of the mountains. Population: Humans. Connections with: Granite Falls (veeeery lightly).

San Myshuno + Del Sol Valley: Presidency and Mayoralty. Population: Humans and undercover occults (Gods**, Spellcasters, Hybrids). Connections: Newcrest.

Windenburg: Parlamentarism. Population: Humans, Hybrids, Vampires. Connections with: Henford-On-Bagley, Glimmerbrook, Granite Falls.

Sulani: Principality and local chiefdoms. Population: Humans, Mermaids, Gods. No near connections.

Forgotten Hollow: Mayoralty. Population: Vampires and Spellcasters. No near connections.

Selvadorada: Republic. Population: Humans, Hybrids and Spellcasters. No near connections.

Evergreen Harbor: Mayoralty. Population: Humans, undercover aliens, cyborgs. Connections with: San Myshuno. If there is ever a future-like pack, it will be related to this area.

Britechester: Grand Duchy. Population: Humans. Connections with: Willow Creek, Windenburg.

2. CHARACTERS

I will mainly play with the "princesses", yes! I'm following these Disney Legacy Challenge rules as a main guideline, so the heirs are related to that. Even so, they won't always have the same looks or gender like the cartoon ones, nor the spouses. Since I'm a nerd, I try to surround the heirs with familiar characters from their stories, but they might be ooc or don't have the same role as they do in the movies. I just want to create the vibes, but give them my own twist!

I thought it would be fun to create a Disney movie themed save for this challenge, and I'm stil adding recreations of a lot of characters thay may fit in the world. Since I really enjoy rotational gameplay, I thought it would be fun to create mini challenges for certain households and play them aside from the main legacy to have a little change and relax. Buuuuuuuuut every single time I play this game a story pops up in my head, and yes, so far there is one side story with some of the minor characters. I'm afraid my save has turned into a graphic feverdream disney fanfiction, but here we are :'D It is important to say I also play with the EA premade townies, so this is a weeeeirddd mashup :')

Since I have the characters roaming around freely, they also interact with the main legacy and, in some cases, they even gain some importance. In Cinderella's case, I never planned Mr. La Bouff to become Ella's friend. My original plan was to have Tia and Lottie meet at university. Also! I created two fake occults: the Hybrids (think of were!Sims. Like Werecats, Werefishes, Werewolves, Werebirds... you get the idea... it'll be properly explained in the future. No, they don't turn into animals.) and the Gods (squish vampires, mermaids and spellcasters together. Now make them OP and immortal).

So far, I've included characters from:

The Aristocats, Finding Nemo, Peter Pan, 101 Dalmatians, Tarzan, Robin Hood, Alice in Wonderland, Coco, Pinocchio, Big Hero 6, Lilo & Stitch, Hocus Pocus, The Nightmare Before Christmas, The Jungle Book, Toy Story, Cars, The Emperor's New Groove, Atlantis.

I had the intention of presenting them all and giving them out for download. I've been slowly makeovering them, so I hope I can manage to do so in the near future.

3. STORYTELLING

The plot twist was kind of a happy accident xD It wasn't planed at all! It's just I find it not-that-exciting to retell the same old story again and again. Cinderella is poor and mistreated, but then marries the prince and she's happy. We all know that, right? I don't intend to follow the same path... I need chaos to keep me entertained in my own game xD that's why I went like "welll.... what IF the prince is a bit of an ass?" I didn't see the whole load of drama that would come.

In the upcoming chapters, things are being similar. I don't say everything is going to be bittersweet, but I'll take elements from the main story and shape them differently. I'm taking a lot of creative liberties here!

4. SIDE STORIES

Im so glad you like them!! I get attached to my characters as soon as I start playing with them and can't help myself from giving them a story, even a little one. It's like... they're in my save for a reason, right? Not only as townie fillers, even if that was the main purpose in the beginning. It's safe to say there is one WIP side story with the Tremaine descendants involving some of the characters I mentioned before. I have another one in mind, but since it is not related with the main legacy at all I'm still not sure how to include it... but I'm working on it.

You can bet I'll keep telling these silly little stories because I really can't help it, hehe.

Thank you so much for asking! I'm really sorry for writing a lot, I hope this is what you were looking for!! And I'm so glad to have you as a reader ^^

#djsadjklasd #THIS IS LONGS #ask #anon #happily ever after extras

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nbrook29 · 4 years

Text

💞 My ultimate Sobbe fic recs 💞

Recently, I have gone through Robbe/Sander tag on ao3 and I decided to compose a list of fics that are absolute gems for me. A few disclaimers first:

✔ I didn’t include works in progress (WIPs), however I did include fics that are only on tumblr

✔ the order of the fics below is random

✔ this is the list of my personal favorites so if your favorite fic is not on the list it doesn’t mean it’s bad or that I consider it bad - we just vibe with different things :)

✔ if there’s a fic on this list that you decided to give a shot and loved it, please remember about leaving a comment under it to let the author know that

✔ I’ve been trying to add the “read more” thingy but it doesn’t show, I’m sorry, I know long posts are annoying af

under 1k

we’re keeping it simple by noobishere | G

Summary: Sander comes over unannounced and attacks Robbe’s very person (a.k.a the one where Sander teases Robbe on Eenvoud)

This is a guaranteed mood lifter. It’s short, sweet, to the point, and oh so funny. The banter. And I’d die to see that in the show.

1k - 5k

Fizzy Colas by Foxsake5 | M

Summary: Let’s say this is a clip (hopefully not as short as the standard 1:40 of this season) with Sander as the main on a ‘bros night out’ 🍻

This author is my queen/king alright? They take a simple idea and turn it into the most lovely/cute/soft story. This fic is exactly that. Sobbe’s chemistry here is out of this world and the banter is to die for.

high for this by flowersmaze (@bowieskam) | G

Summary: In which Sander remains a Flirt™ and in love with Robbe even when he can’t feel his face after a medical procedure

The summary says it all. Loopy Sander is the cutest and funniest thing.

Pull Me from the Dark by TheOceanIsMyInkwell (@theoceanismyinkwell) | T

Summary: Sander discovers that Robbe has recently been prescribed antidepressants, and Robbe opens up to him about the night he almost stepped off the bridge. Only love will show how much they’ve grown and pull them through.

This time, the boys talk about Robbe’s mental state which is unusual in fics. This oneshot is communication 101. And this line is just 👌🏻 “But after the dust of their first kiss and their first vows of commitment settled around them, Robbe took a look at the space in which he floated and realized, somewhere along the line, that finding the love of your life doesn’t fix you.”

diminuendo by noobishere

Summary: Waking up feels like an ordeal. His eyes are heavy, arms a dead weight, he isn’t sure if his limbs are even in the right places, but eventually, Sander comes to. (a.k.a a take on how Sander fairs after Robbe left for school.)

Sander’s POV after Dinsdag 7:27. It’s a great insight into his headspace during that time. This could be a scene in the show because it fits so well.

you’re wonder under summer sky by nothingbutniall | M

Summary: Two city boys go camping. What could go wrong? (Everything, apparently.)

Those boys are a chaotic mess okay? They’re such dorks. This fic has the best kind of grumpiness there is and sobbe is written so in character here.

if we can make it through december (maybe we’ll make it through forever) by nothingbutniall | G

Summary: Robbe and Sander at the Christmas market.

Can you imagine those two dorks at the Christmas market? Well you don’t have to anymore because this fic is everything you need and more. And this line “Couldn’t,” Sander sulks. “You can’t hold hands properly with mittens on.” makes me go all gooey inside every.single.time 😍

A New Sunday Feeling by Foxsake5 | M

Summary: Sander before Robbe: Ugh, Sundays 😒 Sander after Robbe: 😏🥺🥰

The way this author writes sobbe’s intimate moments is just pure talent. They have such way with words.

memories painted with much brighter ink by nothingbutniall | G

Summary: Saint Nicholas is the perfect excuse for an evening of gifts and banter with the flatshare. (Basically all five of them being cute together, and then Robbe and Sander being cute with just the two of them.)

This is the perfect fic for an October evening, when Christmas is just around the corner and you’ve just made yourself a cup of coffee and want to read some heart-warming well-written christmassy fluff.

5k - 10k

Let’s Dance by msleviss (@sander-driesen) | G

Summary: Robbe and his friends go to a club to check out Amber’s DJ cousin.

THIS PERSON PREDICTED DJ SANDER Y’ALL. And Robbe thirsts over him. And there is an instant connection. And Robbe dances. And it’s so cute.

video phone by tokyometropolis (@luludemauryyy) | E

Summary: AKA OH MY GOD, THEY WERE QUARANTINED…except not together, because life is cruel. Thankfully it’s 2020 and when Robbe has an…er…intense dream about Sander in the middle of the night, all he has to do is press one button and Facetime him about it. Thing is…sometimes FaceTiming isn’t enough.

Look. I get that smut fics are not everyone’s cup of tea. And that’s totally fine. But. If you’re looking for a well-written smut that’s in character and where you can feel the love between the characters, this is it. Hands down. Sorry not sorry 💁🏼‍♀️

10k - 20k

our camp of dreams by robbesanderx (@robbesdriesen) | M

Summary: a summer camp!AU where robbe and sander are both co-counselors

Misunderstandings lead to pining. Teenage angst at its finest. I really like camp stories, it’s my thing.

Falling For You by silver_etoile (@azozzoni) | T

Summary: Robbe only knows one thing about football: that Sander Dreisen is the hottest player on the FC Utrecht team. When Jens drags him to a match, the last thing Robbe expects is to meet someone so perfect, and it’s all he can do not to mess it up, but will he succeed?

Sobbe in a different setting with a bit different dynamic yet still having that special something. It’s a nicely written story of the development of their relationship, first meeting, falling in love, ups and down, all the best things in fics. And Sander as a soccer player is a pretty 🔥 concept (and I think Robbe agrees).

This isn’t our first time around by noobishere | E

Summary: One moment they are in the kitchen of their shared apartment, the next, they’re in this strange but familiar room.(a.k.a the au in which they accidentally go hopping through multiple universes)

The universe takes matters into their own hands and shows those silly boys that they are meant to be. Sign me up for the ride.

Coffee and Croques by peaceoutofthepieces (@peaceoutofthepieces) | G

Summary: Sander works at the on-campus coffee shop with Eliott, and he might just have a crush on the cute boy in the brown coat.

I’m a sucker for coffeshop fics. There is just something so good about them. This one is the coffeshop!AU that sobbe deserves. Oh the pining, and the secretive looks, the silly boys, and a pinch of Elu. Me likey ☕

The finest of the meadow by allforyoumylove | M

Summary: The universe brings two lonely boys together in a flowering meadow. They fall for each other fast and hard among delicate daisies, warm summer breezes, and shooting stars.

This is magical. My comment on the work was “So soft, so beautiful, so THEM, ugh.” and I MEANT that. This is just the right amount of sweetness. This is a must read. I’m not messing around.

two side of the same coin series by MajorAccent (@acespaceacepilot) | E

Summary: the valleys and mountains of sander’s bpd

How the boys handle Sander’s ups and downs. Robbe being the best boyfriend ever. I love how good he is for Sander, being there for him, not treating him like a baby, and not controlling him. How much he tries to make it at least a little bit easier for him. If you don’t want to read explicit stories, at least give the first part a try since it’s not E rated.

Zaterdag 9:58 by Foxsake5 | M

Summary: What happened after the croissants dropped to the floor 🥐🤭💕

I meant it when I said Foxsake5 has great way with words. Every single piece of theirs is just “chef’s kiss”. This fic is a definition of a domestic fic. Oh, and it happened. Totally. It’s my headcanon now.

its an unrequited love by eggsntoast | G

Summary: Sander works part-time at a museum every Sunday. Robbe is a frequent visitor.

A Sander POV fic. I was sold from the beginning. The development of their relationship here is so cute, and they’re being so stupid with their pining instead of just talking to each other and you just want to shake them but at the same time you’re rooting for them so hard. Oh and did I mention pining?

20k+

Jij Verliest series by ravenbrenna09 (@djsander) | M

Summary: For the past three months, Robbe’s life—and what it once was—had been stripped away and rearranged. Now, if anything, his life had become a bit repetitive: homework, stream, ignore Thomas’s Instagram, repeat. But one Friday evening, Robbe meets a hurricane in the form of a platinum-haired tattoo artist who just might show him everything that he’s been missing.

This is a long series okay? But oh so worth it. It’s captivating and you don’t want to stop until you finish. And once you finish you’re sad it’s over even though you’ve just spent 8 fucking hours reading it. It’s amazing. But you probably know that because it’s quite popular (rightfully so). The best thing is that you expect it to go bad halfway through because it’s difficult to keep the quality on the same level in a fic that long. But it doesn’t.

Visitations by lucidpantone (@lucidpantone) | E

Summary: Does Robbe and Sander’s relationship survive into adulthood. This fic takes place in two simultaneously timelines: the past and the present.The present occurs in one entire day. Both timelines are completely out of chronological order. Everything is in clips.You can be dropped in at anytime of the day in any timeline. So clip by clip you will need to piece together what happen to Sander & Robbe and why the present looks the way it does and what happened in the past that got them there.This love story is a journey. So be prepared.In the words of one of our Even’s. It’s a complicated love story between complicated people.

This is not a regular fic. The author put so much thought into it, there are so many gems, so many little things that you have to pay attention to because it.all.matters. And there is not one interpretation. Don’t you just love when a story forces you to think and use your brain? Cause I do. Not gonna lie: this story hurts, and like the author says themselves, it’s a journey. But oh my god get in because it’s amazing. And the ending is just sjsjsjsjsddhdhsdsgdsg 🤯

the night we met by themoongirl (@dearsander) | T

Summary: Robbe Ijzermans has a brain that won’t let him sleep, a chest that feels far too heavy and thoughts that never stop.During his first year of college he meets Sander Driesen. Robbe finds what he never went looking for.

A college AU. This fic is a journey of pain and fluff and humor. It has awesome friendships. And sobbe falling in love. And liminal spaces. I read it a while ago so I don’t remember it as well as the others but you know what? I still remember that it was great and I’m lowkey happy I don’t remember it that well because now I can go and read it again.

The Stars Look Very Different by @peaceoutofthepieces

Summary: Robbe is bored. He’s bored of listening to his friends talking about girls, and his other friends making out, and no one ever doing anything. He’s tired of having to put in all the work, of making his own fun. He’s tired of feeling nothing so he doesn’t have to feel like nothing. His party stunts are pushing the limit, his thrill seeking beginning to worry even his friends, and his carelessness is toeing the line of dangerous.

He’s a little tired of being ‘dangerous’, too.

Sander may or may not have a crush on the older boy with the apparent death wish. He wouldn’t mind a little danger.

Once I started reading this fic, each day I was waiting for an update at the edge of my seat which was a feeling I expected from s4 that did not deliver. TSLVD definitely delivered. My favorite sobbe social media AU

Ziggy Stardust Series by skamsnake (@skamsnake) | M/E

A collection of fics taking place throughout the season. Most of them are E rated so be aware of that but it’s a really cool mixture of fluff and spice *fans myself*

#wtfock #sobbe #robbe x sander #wtfock fanfic #sobbe fanfic #SHOW UP IN THE TAG

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aadmelioraa · 4 years

Text

Take Two

A Happiest Season Abby x Riley fic (2.4k, T)

It had been one year since Abby had left. One year since they’d called it quits. One year since their engagement was over.

And now it was Christmas time again, only this time Abby was more alone than ever.

She’d been on a few dates since they’d broken up, but no one had stuck around. Probably more her fault than theirs. It had been good to get back out there, but it still hurt to remember how things with Harper had ended.

It was a pretty big shock at the time, but looking back it had been a long time coming. Abby and Harper were on different paths and it just wouldn't have worked, no matter how much they loved each other.

“It’s not you,” Harper had insisted. “It’s me, and I’m so sorry.”

That was one of the last things Harper said to her.

They’d been talking wedding plans that morning and by evening Abby was packing her bags.

Harper had been so desperate to make her happy since they got engaged, but her constantly bending over backward wasn’t what Abby needed, and it was stressing Harper out. Neither of them was their best self together, not anymore. Rather than bringing them closer, in the end, that Christmas with the Caldwells had exposed too many rifts in the relationship to salvage.

Tagging @mego42 @endlesslychildish @arcane--soul @skittles321

Read the rest below the cut or on ao3

“I want you to be happy without trying so hard to satisfy the idea of me in your head. You’re such an amazing person—“ Abby had started sobbing here, “—but I can't give you what you need either.”

She’d moved out that night. Harper hadn’t accepted the breakup at first despite sort of initiating it. The conversation had lasted for hours, but eventually, she acknowledged the inevitable and left Abby alone for a few hours to pack. John, thankfully just a text away, had helped her drive everything over to his place.

It had been the second-worst night of Abby’s life.

She’d moved to Philadelphia two months later. She’d grown up there, technically, but without her parents, it didn’t really feel like coming home. New neighborhood, new apartment, new job. If that wasn’t proof she could get over it, what was? But when the holiday season came around again a lot of memories, once happy, now painful, resurfaced.

Waking up alone on Christmas Eve that year, in a word, sucked.

Abby was awake at 6:30 am for some reason. She checked her phone. She’d missed two non-emergency texts from John last night after she’d taken melatonin and passed out. He was definitely still sleeping; she’d text him back later.

She made a pot of coffee and stood in the kitchen in her pajamas wondering what she was going to do to keep herself occupied all day. John, who was living with his boyfriend in New York now, had invited her to stay the night and spend Christmas with them, but Abby wasn't sure if she was feeling up to it. She kinda wanted to sit the holiday out completely this year. She opened her phone and jumped aimlessly between the same three apps, then finally forced herself to take a shower.

At noon she decided to get dressed and go for a walk. That ought to keep her distracted enough. She put on jeans, thick socks, and her warmest sweater under her coat and started wandering.

There was nothing quite like Philly at Christmas. Still brash, loud, and occasionally vulgar but now decked to the nines with tinsel. She was glad to have new haunts to discover along with revisiting old haunts.

The snow from the previous day had turned to slush by the time the sun was at its peak, but that didn’t stop the kids in her neighborhood from spilling out into the streets to play football and tag under the grey sky. She waved at her upstairs neighbors and made a mental note to try and get to know them a little better in the new year.

It was a nice enough day. Maybe she’d head to Fairmount Park. Wherever she ended up there were sure to be plenty of frantic people coming to and fro, finishing last-minute Christmas shopping.

A wave of mixed emotions washed over her as she passed by a jeweler. Harper had given back the ring, of course. It was with John for safekeeping. Abby couldn’t return it, but it felt really weird to have it at her new place. Fresh start and all. Maybe someday she’d be ready to sell it. For now, she didn’t want to think about it.

She continued on at a brisk pace, stopping at a street cart for a lunch of falafel which she ate standing over a trash can, then continuing on.

It was after four o’clock by the time she realized how far she’d walked. Her hands had grown pretty chapped, she should probably go inside for a minute. There was a bar up ahead that looked open, and she could definitely use a drink.

It was fairly empty when she entered which made her instantly relax. She sidled up the bar and took a seat, rubbing her hands to warm them.

“Hey.” There was one bartender working, a curly-haired woman wearing a bandana headband, fitted flannel, and impeccable winged eyeliner like some kind of femme Luke Danes. “What can I get for you?”

“Vodka tonic?”

“Not feeling the Christmas spirit today, huh?” the bartender asked, grabbing the well vodka and rimming a glass with a wedge of lemon.

“Not really.”

“Yeah me neither. Anyway, name’s Gem,” the woman said, setting the cocktail down with a gentle tap. “Yell if you need anything.”

She smiled and walked to the far corner of the bar, a towel draped over her shoulder. A tall redhead and a petite girl with shoulder lengths locs raised their glasses at her.

Even if Abby wasn’t feeling it today, she’d picked a good spot.

She’d just started to feel the effects of the booze when she heard a familiar voice.

“Hey, I thought that was you.”

Startled, Abby nearly dropped her drink.

Riley, Harper’s Riley, slid onto the stool next to her.

“Hey!” Abby said, “What are you doing here?”

“Nice to see you too,” Riley laughed.

“Yeah, I mean—great, great to see you.” Abby couldn’t help from grinning. She probably looked like an idiot but she didn’t care.

“You look good,” Riley said, subtly sweeping her eyes up and down in an appreciative manner.

“Thanks, thanks.” Abby was glad she’d foregone the beanie with the hole in it. “You look good too.”

She really did. Her hair was a little shorter now, though it still framed her face perfectly. Otherwise, she looked exactly the same as when they’d met two years ago. She was wearing a black mock neck sweater and a pair of perfectly tailored wool pants. Her boots had a slight heel, not too high to be practical in an East Coast winter. The hem of her sweater pulled up a little as Riley leaned over the bar, exposing just a sliver of skin. Abby tried not to stare too obviously while she ordered a drink.

“I moved to Philly last month, to answer your question,” Riley said. “Got a fellowship at Kensington, I start in a week.”

“Oh, cool. Congrats, that’s awesome.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Riley took a sip, glancing over at Abby in a way that made her face grow slightly warm. “What have you been up to?”

“Finished the doctorate and got a job as a curator at the PMA. It’s going well. I mean, relatively.”

“Well, look at you!” Riley raised her glass. “Doctor.”

“Doctor,” Abby echoed, laughing, as she knocked her glass against Riley’s.

“Glad to hear that.” Riley took another sip of her drink and paused, mouth pulling to one side awkwardly for just a second.

Abby knew the question that was coming.

“So,” Riley was looking straight ahead into the mirror behind the bar, “how’s Harper?”

Abby grimaced.

Riley’s eyes widened. “Oh, shit…”

“It’s ok! It’s ok,” Abby could feel herself overcorrecting. “It’s been about a year. But yeah, we’re not together anymore.”

“I’m really really sorry, Abby.”

“It’s fine, really,” Abby shrugged. “I mean, if anyone knows how I feel, it’s you.”

Riley exhaled and leaned over the bar, her elbow just barely touching Abby’s. “Yeah, that’s definitely true.”

“So what are you doing in a random bar on Christmas Eve anyway?” Abby asked, ready to change the subject.

“I live up the street, actually. I’m heading to Pittsburgh to see family tomorrow, but that’s going to feel like work, so today I just wanted to relax.”

“Totally,” Abby said, watching as a party of college aged kids spilled in from the street and headed to the high top tables towards the back of the bar. “I’m just taking it easy today, too.”

“Big plans tomorrow?”

“Might see John. I think you met him…when we met.”

“Yeah, I remember John. How’s he doing?”

“He’s really good. Thinks I need to get out more, but otherwise he’s very happy.”

Riley laughed. “I’ve been out exactly three times—wait, no, this makes it four—since I moved here in November so clearly I have no idea what that’s about.”

“You liking Philly so far?”

“Yeah, I do. I mean, don’t get me wrong it’s weird as fuck, but it’s got some really great people. The doctors I work with are whatever, but this kind of place has a good vibe.”

She smiled at Gem, who was rolling her eyes as she made Long Island Iced Teas for the group at the high tops.

“You two know each other?” Abby asked, internally cringing at how un-cool about it she sounded.

“I’ve been here three of the four times I’ve been out, so you could say that,” Riley said. “Nice people usually.”

Gem dropped off the tray of Long Islands and brought Abby and Riley another round.

“They tried to order mojitos,” she sighed, rolling her eyes.

“Fucking kids,” Abby said. Riley laughed. That felt good.

Another large group came in, middle-aged couples this time. It had grown dark outside, it must be after five by now.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, listening to the conversations happening around them. Old friends were reuniting to the right and left of them, the chatter that filled the air was starting to make Abby feel a little claustrophobic. She shifted towards the edge of her seat, tapping one foot nervously against the floor.

“Hey, do you want to get out of here?” Riley asked, raising her hand to catch Gem’s attention. “It’s getting a little crowded.”

“Yeah, that sounds nice,” Abby said, relieved. “I’m just gonna run to the restroom.”

She threw a slightly crumpled pile of bills—mostly fives—on the bar and made her way to the back.

By some good luck, the bathroom was free with no line. The space was cramped and not overly clean, and the small black and white tiles that covered the lower half of the walls created a frantic pattern that did nothing to help Abby’s nerves. She exhaled a deep breath, fixed on her own gaze staring back at her from the mirror.

You’re fine. You’re just hanging out with a girl. A friend, even. Stop being so fucking nervous.

She rolled her eyes, annoyed at her own pep talk, then made her way back to the bar.

Riley was waiting with her hat on, hands thrust deep into the pockets of her dark green coat. Her face broke into a smile when she saw Abby returning.

“Anywhere in particular you want to go?” Abby asked.

“Not really,” Riley said casually. “Lead the way.”

“You got it,” Abby said, and Riley followed her outside.

The air was brisk, and snow had just started to fall as they left. There were Christmas lights everywhere, garlands wrapped around lampposts, a tree decked to the nines in nearly every window.

“Philly really gets in the holiday season, huh?” Riley asked dryly, then pointed up at a stuffed orange mascot that hung from a wreath on someone’s porch. “What the hell is that thing?”

“You really are new here,” Abby laughed. “I don’t know if you’re ready for me to explain Gritty tonight but I promise he's worth the wait.”

They continued up Broad Street, gradually making their way away from the noisy crowds. It had started to snow, which helped muffle the sounds of passerby and create a more mellow but still festive atmosphere.

“So, I’m glad I ran into you,” Abby confessed, breaking the silence that was lingering between them.

Riley’s shoulder bumped against hers as she sidestepped a puddle. “I am too. I have to ask though, is it because we’re both members of the Harper broken hearts club, or something else?”

“No, I’ve been trying not to think too much about that,” Abby said.

“Sorry to bring it up again.”

“I mean, it’s kind of unavoidable. That’s not what I meant, sorry. I’m glad because I really liked you when we met, and I kind of regret not realizing that at the time.”

Riley glanced over at her, genuine surprise etched on her face. “I liked you too, Abby. A lot.”

Abby smiled into her scarf and shook her fingers through her hair the way she always did when she was nervous. “Really?”

“Yeah, past tense though,” Riley added.

“Asshole,” Abby laughed, and Riley’s mouth twitched in reply.

They had paused on a street corner. The snow was falling around them in big flakes, Riley’s hair glittering in spots where it had landed and begun to melt.

Riley cocked her head, lips slightly parted, and stepped a little closer. Her brown eyes sparkled in the light of a Christmas tree peeking out of a nearby window.

“You good?” she asked.

Abby hesitated, chewing her lower lip.

“I can head home, if you’re not feel—“

Abby didn’t let Riley finish. Surging forward on her toes, she kissed her.

Rile tasted like the old fashioned she’d been drinking, smoky and slightly sweet. She kissed Abby back, running a hand through the hair behind her ear, and Abby could feel her smiling as their noses bumped together. When she pulled back Abby caught her breath and realized she was grinning too.

“I’ve wanted you to do that for a really long time,” Riley breathed.

Abby laced her fingers through hers and they kept walking. She wasn't feeling alone amidst all the holiday revelry any longer.

“Do you want to grab dinner sometime, maybe?” Abby asked tentatively.

Riley squeezed her hand. “How about now?”

Abby grinned. “Now is great.”

#abby x riley #happiest season #happiest season fic #kat writes

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whatiwillsay · 3 years

Text

off topic - let’s talk about gaylena 👀

selena gomez is one of taylor’s oldest and bestest friends and given that she is in the 22 liner notes, a huge part of taylor’s life, and maybe fruity herself it seems like possibly we don’t talk about her here at the blog enough!

i don’t want to do a timeline of selena and taylor’s friendship - you can read more about that here, but they met back in the day when they were both dating jonas brothers and to me this idea of finding a real friendship in the midst of these contrived promances is pretty adorable.

ofc most of y’all think taylor is a fruit basket but i think there’s a good chance that selena is too! i’m not saying she is for sure but y’all know me. i’’m here to make a compelling case that everyone and their dog is gay so let’s gooooo!

Part I - At least one fake rs!

Selena “dated” Taylor Lautner in 2009 and he’s definitely gay. Of course, that doesn’t mean she is, it could just be PR, but y’all know I gotta note everything! We stan our fruity bffs dating the same gays 😍

Part II - Selena x cara delevingne

i feel like there’s a chance they met through taylor but everyone in that squad adjacent circle knows one another. cara dated michelle rodriguez for the first half of 2014 and then got with annie clark in March 2015 but it feels like it’s possible something has gone on between her and Selena from summer 2014 - early 2015? ...maybe something casual on and off a bit?

August 2014 - Steamy pics surface in Saint-Tropez, France

Selena and and a freshly single Cara vacation together in part to celebrate Selena’s 22nd birthday.

They party together and look cozy!

Pictures such as this surface and spark rumors around the two:

Selena apparently loves the rumors and gushes about being shipped with Cara.

Quote:

You say Selena drag queens were the true measure of success for you. But isn’t it true that you’re not truly famous until you’ve been the subject of a gay rumor? And last year, the tabloids had a field day with photos of you and Cara Delevingne. I’ve made it!

How did you react to those rumors? Honestly, I loved it. I didn’t mind it. Especially because they weren’t talking about other people in my life for once, which was wonderful. Honestly, though, she’s incredible and very open and she just makes me open. She’s so fun and she’s just extremely adventurous, and sometimes I just want that in my life, so I didn’t mind it. I loved it.

Notice she doesn’t deny them? Now of course she could just be being cool, if she freaked out about it that might be even weirder but hey, it’s still kind of interesting.

Then she admits to questioning her sexuality???

Have you ever questioned your sexuality? Oh, I think everybody does, no matter who they are. I do, yeah, of course. Absolutely. I think it’s healthy to gain a perspective on who you are deep down, question yourself and challenge yourself; it’s important to do that.

(Selena btw, this is cool and all, but not everybody questions their sexuality, maybe you’re just gay 👀)

November 1 - LACMA Art + Film Gala

they even left the event together 👀

and they hung out earlier that day as well:

They were seen the next day partying for Kendall Jenner’s bday singing to her:

a few weeks later Cara tweets Selena’s lyrics!

In December 2014 they are travelling together in texas:

in january 2015 they get cozy at the golden globes together!

and they leave together again:

January 19th/20th a bunch of gay nonsense happens

They post this gay shit with matching shoes and linked fingers:

then they say this to one another:

Enty says they were hooking up!

then we don’t get any more content that i can find for about six months! perhaps they had a fling from summer 2014-jan 2015 and then it ends, Cara gets with Annie in March? Then after half a year apart Selena and Cara resume a friendly relationship? Perhaps! Selena is seen with Justin a bit off and on during this time but this was in their Style/Heat Death Era imo (tbh i probably shouldn’t give a hetty pairing including Justin that designation 🤢but y’all get what I’m saying - it’s fully possible Selena was hooking up with both of them!

Now I’m not super familiar with Selena’s discography so y’all lmk if I’m missing anything major - lyric wise that point to her not being straight.

Selena’s album Revival that comes out after this relationship has a few songs with some vibes, even though I get the feeling a lot of it is probably about Justin, allow me to reach. The title track could be translated as someone coming to terms with their sexuality (among other things):

I feel like I've awakened lately The chains around me are finally breaking I've been under self-restoration I've become my own salvation Showing up, no more hiding, hiding The light inside me is bursting, shining It's my, my, my time to butterfly

Good for you, imo, is too sexy to be about a man even if it’s not super queer lyrically it’s a vibe ok?

Me & My Girls might be a bestie anthem a la 22 (oh wait, no 22 was gay too) but I mean...could be about a girl gang of lesbians too!

And if we want it, we take it If we need money, we make it Nobody knows if we fake it You like to watch while we shake it I know we're making you thirsty You want us all in the worst way But you don't understand I don't need a man

Quinn Fabray indeed!

Nobody feels probably like a retrospective on Justin 🙄but...there is a hint of sapphic craving in there! Saying this particular lover loves them differently than everyone is a bit 👀 plus this stanza:

No oxygen, can barely breathe My darkest sin, you've raised release And it's all because of you, all because of you And I don't know what it is, but you've pulled me in No one compares, could ever begin To love me like you do And I wouldn't want them to

Is Perfect about some bitch Justin started dating? Probably but bear with me here this song is actually pretty fucking gay. Gay enough that I’m gonna add it to one of my gay playlists. Could this song actually be about Cara moving on to Annie?

Ooh, and I bet she has it all Bet she's beautiful like you, like you And I bet she's got that touch Makes you fall in love, like you, like you

I can taste her lipstick and see her laying across your chest I can feel the distance every time you remember her fingertips Maybe I should be more like her Maybe I should be more like her I can taste her lipstick, it's like I'm kissing her, too And she's perfect And she's perfect

Part III - Selena x Julia Michaels

Julia Michaels is a singer/songwriter known for her song Issues. I don’t know her sexuality but she at the least has gay vibes! It seems they met around this time perhaps because Julia wrote on Revival.

They have a friendly enough friendship for a few years, liking one another’s posts on IG from time to time, posing for a photo a time or two and then they seem to get swept up into this very intense friendship in 2019. They write some music together and Julia goes whole hog in promoting the shoe brand Selena is hawking this time 😭

2019 - The Superior Sapphic Jelena Timeline:

It starts, for some reason with a lot of shoe promotion:

chill, chill

more shoes

but more gayness?

this homo shit

ok...

Then we go into the REALLY GAY NOVEMBER OF 2019:

Then they perform together:

And...actually kiss...on the mouth on stage???

Sure it’s just a peck but still...if that were a guy people would say they were dating.

Somehow kissing on the mouth isn’t the gayest thing these girls do over this period because these fucking dykes got matching tattoos. I’ve read enough Larry blogs to know this actually means they’re secretly married. All jokes aside this is fruity behavior.

From their IG stories:

Selena gets Julia a very nice christmas gift:

Covid sets in and content drops off but god damn! It’s possible they just had an intense friendship but if a man and a woman collabed on music together, kissed in public, and got matching tattoos everyone would say they were dating!

Selena, as far as I can find, didn’t have any public boyfriends around this time so who are some of these love songs about?

Rare comes out in January 2020 and perhaps has some gayish songs?

Don’t tell me why but boyfriend lowkey, has a gay vibe. Don’t ask me to explain it but it’s just the musicality of it.

Crowded Room could be a love song for Julia? (or by Julia for Selena, since they’re collaborators?)

Baby, it's just me and you Baby, it's just me and you Just us two Even in a crowded room Baby, it's just me and you, yeah

These are general gay vibes, our secret moments in a crowded room tease

It started polite, out on thin ice 'Til you came over to break it I threw you a line and you were mine

It would have started out polite between them, since they worked together for years before whatever 2019 was happened. And throwing someone a line first of all makes Selena sound like the aggressor but also “throwing someone a line” could be a reference to writing songs together.

Yeah, I was afraid, but you made it safe I guess that is our combination Said you feel lost, well, so do I So won't you call me in the morning? I think that you should call me in the morning If you feel the same, 'cause

Lots of people are afraid at the beginning of a gay rs. Treacherous tease 👀

In summation!

Selena does gay stuff like fantasizing ab kissing other women in her music, getting very touchy with famous dykes on vacay, hangs out with Taylor Swift, has chronic mental health issues, dated a jonas brother and a twilight gay, has admitted to questioning her sexuality, and loves being shipped with women. Is she gay? I don’t know! But all she’s missing from her celesbian bingo card is a suspiciously intense friendship with a Glee Cast member! What do you guys think? Selena fruity or just weird?

Edit to add: so apparently I missed an entire ship and Selena supposedly acted really gay all the time with her backup dancer Charity Baroni. Exposing SMG has posted a lot about all that.

Also Selena has been cast in a gay role! edit to add: @bisluthq went and found this for me - julia is indeed a fruit queen

#selena gomez #gaylena #taylena #gossip #cara delevingne #julia michaels #lesbian #sapphic #of interest #taylor's fruity friends

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raventons · 4 years

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The list of names

*scary music playing* Ok, guys, in the light of American Middle Eastern policy, that has once again brought me to tears, I decided to do something a bit happier (this is me trying to influence my followers to read the news and fight for the right thing and all that jazz). I’ve got a lot of asks recently, mostly from people new to the world of CC, about which creators are the best, so I’ve made this little list of the creators I download and use the most. This is not in any way a complete collection, I might have forgotten someone (and there’s also plenty of creators I haven’t discovered yet). Also, these are all build creators, mainly creating alpha CC. Please feel free to add to this list. Also also, the description I’ve used for the artists are totally my own making, so if you are a creator and feel like I am describing your work in an unfair way, go ahead and punch me in the face. If I was a new simmer, I would check out these creators: Retired: MXIMS - Makes modern, real life furniture with the best quality. Has many downloads left on their website. MINCSIMS - Similar to MXIMS (with some amazing collabs), also with a beautiful talent for doors and windows. Not many objects left in orbit, but google is your friend. DAER0N - Done everything from noodles to palms, but the recent Daer0n I would describe as gold, dark and modern, with 3D modeling skills out of this world. Retired, and much of the old stuff is gone, but some can be found at bloomingrosy. DOX - Similar to Daer0n with a slightly stricter, more wooden approach. The most underrated one of the retired giants. Has some downloads left on their website. ANBS - Super clean aesthetic. Modern, real life furniture. Many downloads left on their website. SLYD - Mostly known as a CAS creator, but has the amazing shoes and bags available as decor. All downloads left on the website. HVIKIS - Wallpapers and wall art. All downloads left on the website. VIIKIITA - Recolors to die for. Not many objects left in orbit, but google is your friend. Active (I think. I hope. I don’t know): ARSBOTANICA - Previously simshamlet. Does really lovely, vintage aesthetic perfume bottles and amazing flowers. SLOX - A personal favorite. Modern, I’d say. And realistic. But often with objects you didn’t even know you needed, that ends up being the main inspiration for the whole build. Like some folded shirts, or a stack of books. 13PUMPKIN - A long with Artvitalex this is the best wood creator in the community. The sets are kind of like “small-lovely-family-home”-style, but can be used in big, modern builds with equally outstanding results. WONDYMOON - My by far most used creator. The most organized one too, I’d say. All sets match eachother, and are easy to find (and are all named by elements, this guy is a rock star). PYSZNYDESIGN - The Kilburn set is to die for. MEINKATZ - Literally replicas of real life furniture, with their history and all. Honestly the coolest thing ever. Also, a really nice person. PRALINESIMS - The best floor and wall creator, hands down. I don’t know if this is really the person I should tag tho, so I’ll tag @cross-design and hope for the best because I honestly still don’t know who is who. I love them both tho. THE TSR GIANTS: SEVERINKA, KARDOFE, UNG999, SIMMAN123, PILAR, ARTVITALEX, ANGELA, DOT, BUFFSUMM, SHINO and NYNAEVE - Yes, a lot of the creators I mention here are active on TSR and a lot of my TSR giants are active elsewhere, but I still, maybe arbitrary, like to put these under the TSR flag because they represent that wonderful vibe of big sets, certain room types and signature colors. PEACEMAKER - a true legend. Some of the CC is borderline MM, but that is what makes them so perfect. They go with both themes. MIO - This is the first creator I downloaded from and they will always have a special place in my heart. Brilliant conversions, flower sets, seating, everything. NOVVVAS - A way too humble person that claims she is not the best in the game, when she truly is out of this world. RIGHTHEARTED - who I have been referring to as neiden my whole life because I am an idiot. TINGELINGLATER - Does a lot of things but blessed all of us with windows and since then I am in love. ANYE - Pinkbox Anye, to be correct. Lovely person. Lovely sets. Unique eyes. Adore this one. FOREVERDESIGNS - Will literally transform your bedroom. And kitchen. And life. BLACKMOJITOS - Build sets and sexy, stunning posters (and a basket every now and then). Also up for commissions, I just noticed. Go throw money at her. She is amazing. KAI-HANA - Has a totally unique style, where everything is alpha, but still has a beautiful, clayish touch to it. Underrated. AROUNDTHESIMS - A bit on the MM side, so if you’re looking for that MM/alpha mix, this is for you. Extremely productive. Does everything and more. CHERRY-SIMS - A part from the CC, this is also the best picture editor I’ve ever seen. I am a huge fan! CONCEPTDESIGN - Did someone say trees? YUMIA - Soft flowers, old school touch, vintage AGGRESSIVEKITTEN - Literally killed half the community with the recent brutalism set, which without a doubt will be voted best CC of 2020. Also, where else would you go for both beautiful, vintage objects AND a tarot card reading? Weirdly obsessed with seals. Makes amazing lots. I love you. DSCO - I gave up trying to spell this creators full name after the sixth attempt. I would describe the CC as cute. But not in the condescending (that I could spell) way. More in a bad-ass-I-need-all-of-these-objects-kind-of-way! KKB - My ignorant and uneducated ass wants to call it Korean, and I am sorry if this isn’t the right way to describe anything. Soft, pastel but at the same time very cool, with rattan and wood. DR GREENIE - Former Green Girl. Mostly MM, but has made some of my most used decor objects. HELEN - Extremely productive. Does everything. NIKADEMA - Has made my favorite sink! PQSIMS - Makes sets. Usually light wood. LUNATICAVILLAGE (2SIS) - Another underrated favorite. Everyone should go here and show as much love as possible! LAVI3ENROSE - A creator that entered my world quite recently. Art deco. Bronze. Gold. And the best wrapped Christmas presents of 2019. DDAENG SIMS - Another giant that recently changed their name (used to be dreamteamsims). FELIXANDRE - The best historical creator (as in making epic shit that would create the most wonderful castle). Sometimes a bit on the MM side with the furniture, and that contrast makes it, in my eyes, even better. SIMCREDIBLE - Sets. Color matching. Often light and modern. I use their decor stones in every single one of my . SOLORIYA - MM creator. But even for us alpha bitches there are wonderful stuff (I think this is the case for most MM artists, I just don’t know so many of them). XELENN - Also does literally everything. One can scroll this blog for hours. OWL-PLUMBOB - Amazing build objects. SANOYSIMS - A long with MXIMS, I’d say this is one of the most “realistic” artists. WINNER9 - To me, this creator is all about the amazing wall art. But of course they make other stunning objects too. Marble tables, anyone? SJAMBOKSIM - My most used concrete walls (and I use concrete A LOT). AIFIRSA - Totally different style from everyone else. Absolutely love this aesthetic. VIVIAN STUDIO - This sounds weird, but their onions are the best object in my game. Don’t judge. HEURRS - A quite new creator who blew my mind with some recent candles and earned my first reblog since 456 BC. Love you. I am forgetting so, so many. Please, I sometimes can’t even remember my own name, so don’t feel hurt if I missed you. PLEASE comment your favorite creators below! Where would you advice new simmers to start looking for good CC? Love you guys!!!

#sims 4 #sims 4 cc #the sims #the sims 4 #creators #sims 4 creator #sims 4 creators #sims 4 cc finds #the sims 4 cc finds #sims cc #sims cc finds #sims4 #thesims4 #thesims

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geshertzarmeod · 3 years

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Favorite Books of 2020

I wanted to put together a list! I read 74 new books this year, and I keep track of that on Goodreads - feel free to add or follow me if you want to see everything! I’m going to focus on the highlights, and the books that stuck with me personally in one way or another, in approximate order. Also, all but two of them (#5 and #7 on the honorable mention list) are queer/trans in some way. Links are to Goodreads, but if you’re looking to get the books, I suggest your library, the Libby app using your library, your local bookstore, or Bookshop.

The Faggots & Their Friends Between Revolutions by Larry Mitchell, illus. by Ned Asta (originally published 1977). I had a hard beginning of the year and was in a work environment where my queerness was just not welcomed or wanted. I read this in the middle of all of that, and it helped me so much. I took this book with me everywhere. I read it on planes. I read it on the bus, and on trains, and at shul. I showed it to friends... sometimes at shul, or professional development conferences. It healed my soul. Now I can’t find it and might get a new copy. When I reviewed it, in February, I wrote: “I think we all need this book right now, but I really needed this book right now. Wow. This book is magic, and brings back a sense of magic and beauty to my relationship with the world.” Also I bought my copy last July, in a gay bookstore on Castro St. in SF, and that in itself is just beautiful to me. (Here’s a post I made with some excerpts)

Once & Future duology, especially the sequel, Sword in the Stars, by A.R. Capetta and Cory McCarthy. Cis pansexual female King Arthur Ari Helix (she's the 42nd reincarnation and the first female one) in futuristic space with Arab ancestry (but like, from a planet where people from that area of earth migrated to because, futuristic space) works to end Future Evil Amazon.com Space Empire with her found family with a token straight cis man and token white person. Merlin is backwards-aging so he's a gay teenager with a crush and thousands of years of baggage. The book’s entire basis is found family, and it's got King Arthur in space. And the sequel hijacks the original myth and says “fuck you pop culture, it was whitewashed and straightwashed, there were queer and trans people of color and strong women there the whole time.” Which is like, my favorite thing to find in media, and a big part of why I love Xena so much. It’s like revisionist history to make it better except it’s actually probably true in ways. Anyway please read these books but also be prepared for an absolutely absurd and wild ride. Full disclosure though, I didn’t love the first book so much, it’s worth it for the sequel!

The Wicker King by K. Ancrum. This book hurt. It still hurts. But it was so good. It took me on a whole journey, and brought me to my destination just like it intended the whole time. The author’s note at the end made me cry! The sheer NEED from this book, the way the main relationship develops and shifts, and how you PERCEIVE the main relationship develops and shifts. I’m in awe of Ancrum’s writing. If you like your ships feral and needy and desperate and wanting and D/S vibes and lowkey super unhealthy but with the potential, with work, to become healthy and beautiful and right, read this book. This might be another one to check trigger warnings for though.

The Entirety of The Daevabad Trilogy by S.A. Chakraborty. I hadn’t heard of this series until this year, when a good friend recommended it to me. It filled the black hole in me left by Harry Potter. The political and mystical/fantasy world building is just *chef’s kiss* - the complexity! The morally grey, everyone’s-done-awful-things-but-some-people-are-still-trying-to-do-good tapestry! The ROMANCE oh my GOD the romance. If I’m absolutely fully invested in a heterosexual romance you know a book is good, but also this book had background (and then later less background) queer characters! And the DRAMA!!! The third book went in a direction that felt a little out of nowhere but honestly I loved the ride. I stayed up until 6am multiple times reading this series and I’d do it again.

An Unkindness of Ghosts by Rivers Solomon. I loved this book so much that it’s the only book I reviewed on my basically abandoned attempt at a book blog. This book is haunting, horrifying, disturbing, dark, but so, so good. The character's voices were so specific and clear, the relationships so clearly affected by circumstance and yet loving in the ways they could be. This is my favorite portrayal of gender maybe ever, it’s just... I don’t even have the words but I saw a post @audible-smiles made about it that’s been rattling in my head since. And, “you gender-malcontent. You otherling,” as tender pillow talk??? Be still my heart. Be ready, though, this book has all the triggers.. it’s a .

Felix Ever After by Kacen Callender. This book called me out on my perspective on love. Also, it made me cry a lot. And it has two different interesting well-written romance storylines. And a realistic coming-into-identity narrative about a Black trans demiboy. And a nuanced discussion of college plans and what one might do after college. And some big beautiful romcom moments. I wish I had it in high school. I’m so glad I have it now! (trigger warning for transphobia & outing, but the people responsible are held accountable by the end, always treated as not okay by the narrative, and the MC’s friends, and like... this is ownvoices and it’s GOOD.)

The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern. My Goodreads review says, “I have no idea what happened, and I loved it.” That’s not wrong, but to delve deeper, this book has an ethereal feeling that you get wrapped up in while reading. Nothing makes sense but that’s just as it should be. You’re hooked. It is so atmospheric, so meta, so fascinating. I’ve seen so many people say they interpreted this character or that part or the ending in all different ways and it all makes sense. And it’s all of this with a gay main character and romance and the central theme, the central pillar being a love of and devotion to stories. Of course I was going to love it.

Fierce Femmes and Notorious Liars: A Dangerous Trans Girl’s Confabulous Memoir by Kai Cheng Thom. “Because maybe what really matters isn’t whether something is true, or false. Maybe what matters is the story itself; what kinds of doors it opens, what kinds of dreams it brings.” This book was so good and paradigm shifting. It reminded me of #1 on this list in the way it turns real life experience and hard, tragic ones at that (in this case, of being a trans girl of color who leaves home and tries to make a life for herself in the city, with its violence), into a beautiful, haunting fable. Once upon a time.

I Wish You All the Best by Mason Deaver. I need to reread this book, as I read it during my most tranceful time of 2020 and didn’t write a review, so I forgot a lot. What I do remember is beautiful and important nonbinary representation, a really cute romance, an interesting parental and familial/sibling dynamic that was both heartbreaking and hopeful, and an on-page therapy storyline. Also Mason Deaver just left twitter but was an absolutely hilarious troll on it before leaving and I appreciate that (and they just published a Christmas novella that I have but haven’t read yet!)

The Truth Is by NoNieqa Ramos. It took a long time to trust this book but I’m so glad I did. It’s raw and real and full of grief and trauma (trigger warnings, that I remember, for grief, death (before beginning of book), and gun violence). The protagonist is flawed and gets to grow over the course of the book, and find her own place, and learn from the people around her, while they also learn to understand her and where she’s coming from. It’s got a gritty, harsh, and important portrayal of found family, messy queerness, and some breathtaking quotes. When I was 82% through this book I posted this update: “This book has addressed almost all of my initial hesitations, and managed to complicate itself beautifully.”

Anger is a Gift by Mark Oshiro. I wasn’t actually in the best mental health place to read this book when I did (didn’t quite understand what it was) but it definitely reminded me of what there is to fight against and to fight for, and broke my heart, and nudged me a bit closer to hope. The naturally diverse cast of characters was one of the best parts of this book. The romance is so sweet and tender and then so painful. This book is important and well-written but read it with caution and trigger warnings - it’s about grief and trauma and racism and police brutality, but also about love and community.

The Prey of Gods by Nicky Drayden. This is a sci-fi/fantasy/specfic mashup that takes place in near-future South Africa and has world-building myths with gods and demigoddesses and a trip to the world of the dead but also a genetically altered hallucinogenic drug that turns people into giant animals and a robot uprising and a political campaign and a transgender pop star and a m/m couple and all of them are connected. It’s bonkers. Like, so, so absolutely mind-breaking weird. And I loved it.

Crier’s War and Iron Heart by Nina Varela. I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVED the amount of folktales they told each other with queer romances as integral to those stories, especially in Iron Heart. A conversation between the two leads where Crier says she wants to read Ayla like a book, and Ayla says she’s not a book, and Crier explains all the different ways she wants to know Ayla, like a person, and wants to deserve to know her like a person, made me weak. It lives in my head rent-free.

Queen’s Shadow by E.K. Johnston @ekjohnston . I listened to this book on Libby and then immediately listened to it at least one more time, maybe twice, before my borrow time ran out. I love Padmé, and just always wish that female Star Wars characters got more focus and attention and this book gave me that!! And queer handmaidens! And the implication that Sabé is in love with Padmé and that’s just something that will always be true and she will always be devoted and also will make her own life anyway. And the Star Wars audiobooks being recorded the way they are with background sounds and music means it feels like watching a really long detailed beautiful Star Wars movie just about Padmé and her handmaidens.

Sissy: A Coming of Gender Story by Jacob Tobia. I needed to read this. The way Tobia talks about their experience of gender within the contexts of college, college leadership, and career, hit home. I kept trying to highlight several pages in a row on my kindle so I could go back and read them after it got returned to the library (sadly it didn’t work - it cuts off highlights after a certain number of characters). The way they talk about TOKENISM they way they talk about the responsibilities of the interviewer when an interviewee holds marginalized identities especially when no one else in the room does!!! Ahhhh!!!

Bonds of Brass by Emily Skrutskie. Disclaimer for this one that the author was rightfully criticized for writing a Black main character as a white author (and how the story ended up playing into some fucked up stuff that I can’t really unpack without spoiling). But also, the author has been working to move forward knowing she can’t change the past, has donated her proceeds, and this book is really good? It has all the fanfic tropes, so much delicious tension, a totally unexpected plot twist that had me immediately rereading the book. This book was super fun and also kind of just really really good Star Wars fanfiction.

How To Be a Normal Person by T.J. Klune. This book was so sweet, and cute, and hopeful, and both ridiculous and so real. I had some trouble getting used to Gus’ voice and internal monologue, but I got into it and then loved every bit after. The ace rep is something I’ve never seen like this before (and have barely read any ace books but still this was so fleshed out and well rounded and not just like, ‘they’re obsessed with swords not sex’ - looking at you, Once & Future - and leaving it there.) This all felt like a slice of life and I feel like I learned about people while reading it. Some of the moments are so, so funny, some are vaguely devastating. I have been personally victimized by TJ Klune for how he ends this book (a joke, you will know once you read it) but it also reminds me of the end of the “You Are There” episode of Xena and we all know what the answer to that question was.... and I choose to believe the answer here was similar.

You Should See Me in a Crown by Leah Johnson. I wish I had this book when I was in high school. I honestly have complicated feelings about prom and haven’t really been seeking out contemporary YA so I was hesitant to read this but it was so good and so well-written, and had a lot of depth to it. The movie (and Broadway show) “The Prom” wants what this book has.

Plain Bad Heroines by Emily M. Danforth. I never read horror books, so this was a new thing for me. I loved the feeling of this book, the way I felt fully immersed. I loved how entirely queer it was. I was interested in the characters and the relationships, even though we didn’t have a full chance to go super deep into any one person but rather saw the connections between everyone and the way the stories matched up with each other. I just wanted a bit of a more satisfying ending.

Honorable Mention: reread in 2020 but read for the first time pre-2020

Red White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston. I couldn’t make this post without mentioning this book. It got me through this year. I love this book so much; I think of this book all the time. This book made me want to find love for myself. You’ve all heard about it enough but if you haven’t read this book what are you DOING.

In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan @sarahreesbrennan . I reread this one over and over too, both as text and as an audiobook. I went for walks when I had lost my earbuds and had Elliott screaming about an elf brothel loudly playing and got weird looks from someone walking their dog. I love this book so much. It’s just so fun, and so healing to read a book reminiscent of all the fantasies I read as a kid, but with a bi main character and a deconstruction of patriarchy and making fun of the genre a bit. Also, idiots to lovers is a great trope and it’s definitely in this book.

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz. This book is forever so important to me. I am always drawn in by how tenderly Sáenz portrays his characters. These boys. These boys and their parents. I love them. I love them so much. This is another one where I don’t even know what to say. I have more than 30 pages in my tag for this book. I have “arda” set as a keyboard shortcut on my phone and laptop to turn into the full title. This book saved my life.

Last Night I Sang to the Monster by Benjamin Alire Sáenz. This book hurts to read - it’s a story about trauma, about working through that trauma, healing enough to be ready to hold the worst memories, healing enough to move through the pain and start to make a life. It’s about found family and love and pain and I love it. It’s cathartic. And it’s a little bit quietly queer in a beautiful way, but that’s not the focus. Look up trigger warnings (they kind of are spoilery so I won’t say them here but if you have the potential to be triggered please look them up or ask me before reading)

Ella Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine. When asked what my all time favorite book is, it’s usually this one. Gail Carson Levine has been doing live readings at 11am since the beginning of the pandemic shut down in the US, and the first book she read was Ella Enchanted. I’ve been slowly reading it to @mssarahpearl and am just so glad still that it has the ability to draw me in and calm me down and feels like home after all this time. This book is about agency. I love it.

Radio Silence by Alice Oseman @chronicintrovert . I’ve had this on my all-time-faves list since I read it a few years ago and ended up rereading it this year before sending a gift copy to a friend, so I could write little notes in it. It felt a little different reading it this time - as I get further away from being a teenager myself, the character voice this book is written in takes a little longer to get used to, but it’s so authentic and earnest and I love it. I absolutely adore this book about platonic love and found family and fandom and mental illness and abuse and ace identity and queerness and self-determination, especially around college and career choices. Ahhh. Thank you Alice Oseman!!!

Leia: Princess of Alderaan by Claudia Gray @claudiagray . I have this one on audible and reread it several times this year. I love the fleshing out of Leia’s story before the original trilogy, I love her having had a relationship before Han, and the way it would have affected her perspective. I also am intrigued by the way it analyses the choices the early rebellion had to make... I just, I love all the female focused new Star Wars content and the complexity being brought to the rebellion.

#red white and royal blue #aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the universe #osemanverse #star wars #queer books #lgbtq books #books #alice oseman #miri personal #wow this took so long but was so worth it!#long post #book recs #PS: if you've read any of these or have questions about any of these books #this is your formal invitation to talk to me about them!!!! even if i don't know you at all!#even if i don't follow you and even if you don't follow me!#my ask box is open anon is on!#original content

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peaceoutofthepieces · 3 years

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Sink Or Swim

tag list: @cleocc @feeling-kinda-so-so @hopelessromanticvirgo @dreamy-slytherin @adora8 @lockerfivethreefive @painfully-oblivious @poeticinemaa @jjustonemorething @sassy-sara @wedarkacademia @coolguyssyndrome @hischbabe @suckerforsobbe @tayspots @starmansander @theah0lt @zoenneforever @invisibleme @chibibanane @odi-et-amo85 @watermelonlover-123 @xiaomailab

~^~

Sunday, 16:38

Song: Troye Sivan - The Good Side

Jens stands at the window with one hand in his pocket and the other holding a mug of Lucas’s famous hot chocolate. He feels cosy, with the beverage and his own hoodie, freshly washed and still smelling somewhat of Lucas with the shared fabric softener. The rain outside has turned into snow, heavy enough to cover the pavement but just dusting the trees. It’s washed in orange tones under the streetlights, but there’s a frost on the window. It finally looks wintery, and cold, and it’s a little like being a kid, looking out with a vague stirring of excitement while being safely tucked away in the warmth. There are marshmallows in his hot chocolate and the lights on the Christmas tree in the corner are already twinkling. It’s homely. Cosy.

Jens can only bring himself to half-appreciate. It’s not exactly the same, when he can’t actually go home.

He’s warmed up further when a body presses up against his back. The arms that slide around his waist feel a little more familiar. He wonders if it’s possible, or okay, to make a little home of his own for a while.

Lucas presses a kiss to the back of his neck then rests his head between his shoulder blades, hugging him loosely. They’ve spent the past two days like this, in almost constant contact. Even while decorating the tree yesterday they had distracted themselves, stopping every few minutes to sidle up to the other and kiss an available patch of skin or tease them over their decorating choices. Lucas has been good at keeping the mood light, at making Jens feel somewhat okay and a lot less alone. Last night, Jens had spent more time watching him than sleeping.

“What are you thinking about?” Lucas questions.

Jens glances around at him, smiling slightly. “You.”

Lucas tilts his head up and raises his brows. “What about me?”

“Just you.” Jens shrugs, twisting around to pull the boy into his arms, careful of the mug in his hand. “That I’m lucky to have you. Be here with you.” He presses a kiss to Lucas’s temple. “In your bed.” Then his cheek. “In your shower.”

Lucas huffs, elbowing him lightly in the stomach and Jens calls a protest, quickly retreating with his mug held up in defense. He takes a sip and the marshmallows bump against his lips. He licks over his top lip when he lowers the mug and grins as Lucas tracks the movement. Lucas takes the mug and sets it on the windowsill before looping his arms around Jens’s neck and pulling him down into a kiss.

Jens goes easily, as he always does, unable to resist Lucas at any given moment. Lucas laps it up, as he always does, and provides accordingly, making Jens putty in his hands with just a few skillful brushes of lips. It’s the best way to forget. This is their little universe, just the two of them and their touch. It doesn’t matter where they are. It makes everything else in Jens quiet, too. It reminds him that he’s real, and needed, right here in this universe.

Wanted.

“Sometimes I really wish it could just be like this all the time,” Jens mumbles, mouths and noses and foreheads still brushing. “Just you and me. Is that bad?”

Lucas shakes his head, kissing him gently. “I wish for that all the time,” he whispers. “Just me and you, whole universe to ourselves, making out wherever and whenever we want.”

Jens snorts and shakes his head, squeezing Lucas’s hip. “Nice,” he mutters, and Lucas hums and kisses him again.

After a while, Lucas settles into a hug instead, tucking his face into Jens’s neck and sliding his arms around his waist. “I know what you mean, though. It’s been nice just being in our bubble.”

“Yeah. But that ends this evening. Then tomorrow, back to school and reality.”

“You don’t have to go to school,” Lucas says softly.

It would be nice if it was that simple, but it isn’t. Jens knows Lucas is definitely going to go to school, and he’ll feel weird if he has to stay in Lucas’s apartment alone. Or worse, with the boy’s father. He’ll likely fail the remaining exams, because he hasn’t even had any books to study, but he’ll have to take most of the resits already anyway.

“I should. I think it’ll be better than not going. That feels overdramatic, or something.”

Lucas leans away to look at him. “Jens, you aren’t being dramatic. In fact there’s been a worrying lack of reaction from you.”

Jens breathes out through his nose and rests their heads together, closing his eyes, wondering if it’ll be easier to say the words into the dark. “I’ve already spent a week thinking about nothing else. I just...I want to feel a little normal again. I’m so tired of having to react.”

Lucas rubs his side, unbothered by the occasional catch of his fingers against the hoodie. “It doesn’t match your usual chill vibe,” he allows. “Still. Trying to just ignore it...that doesn’t help.”

“It’s impossible to ignore. I’m not doing that.” Jens shakes his head, licking his lips. “I just don’t want it to be the only thing. I want to be able to be with you and to go to school and to sleep. I don’t want the world to stop spinning so I can wallow.”

“But would you mind, if the world stopped spinning and kept us like this right now?” Lucas bumps their heads together, and Jens pulls him closer, lips pulling up slightly. “See. It isn’t just time to wallow. It’s just time. To figure things out a little, and re-centre, and give yourself room to breathe.”

Jens opens his eyes and considers the boy in front of him, trying to figure out how to word his thoughts better. “It’s not like that, though. Whenever I’m just on my own, with too much time...I can’t breathe. It doesn’t work like that. With you, it’s different. But I definitely can’t just stay here all day waiting for you to come back.”

“Well, I could always stay with you.”

Jens shifts back and tilts his head, giving him an unimpressed look. “No, you can’t.”

“I am an adult, and I can do whatever the fuck I want.” Lucas raises his brows, smiling smugly.

“Is that so?”

Lucas jumps at the voice, and Jens’s heart quickens, but when they turn to look at the man in the doorway he finds a smile. He’s tall, probably around Jens’s own height, and a little broader, with hair the same shade as Lucas’s and a light scruff around his chin. His eyes are bright, and warm, and remind Jens of Lucas’s even though they differ in colour. The similarity is certainly present and overall there’s nothing entirely threatening about his demeanor.

Jens drops his hands from Lucas and shrinks back as Lucas flushes.

“I didn’t hear you come in.” Lucas raises a brow.

“Well, I didn’t want to interrupt,” the man shrugs. “But I couldn’t help overhearing your plans in passing and now you’ve made me curious.”

Lucas rolls his eyes, just slightly, and then grips Jens’s wrist, softly caressing the skin on the inner side. He steps forwards, towards his father, drawing Jens with him. Jens keeps just a little bit behind as the man’s eyes skim over him.

Lucas seems only slightly nervous as he says, “Dad, this is Jens.”

The man holds a hand out, and Jens takes it carefully, looking at the kind smile and searching for his voice. “It’s nice to meet you, Mr Van Der Heijden.”

The title is waved off as their handshake ends. “None of that. Just call me Hugo, alright? You’ll make me feel too old.”

It makes Jens relax a little as he nods, managing, finally, to return the smile.

“I wish we were meeting under different circumstances, but I’m happy to have you here all the same,” Hugo says. Then he gestures at his son. “And I’m happy to see this one smiling.”

Lucas flushes again, and Jens decides he quite likes this interaction as he offers Hugo a shrug. “I like that better, too.”

Hugo grins. Lucas grows redder, but said smile is working its way onto his lips. “I should’ve realised how awful it would be to put up with you both.”

“We’re excellent company,” Hugo waves him off. “You certainly didn’t seem too eager to leave it, before.”

“He was just joking,” Jens says hastily, regretting it when he earn’s the man’s attention. “We’ll both be going to school. I wouldn’t let him miss the exams.”

“I’m sure you wouldn’t, but I’m not sure this one would listen to you,” Hugo gestures at Lucas with a huff, still smiling. He softens as he looks at Jens, skimming his eyes over him again, lingering on his tensed shoulders and where Lucas is still loosely gripping his wrist. His tone gentles, but loses its fond teasing to take on a more serious note. “You don’t have to be scared here, Jens.”

Jens’s throat closes up, but he shakes his head. “I—no, sorry. It’s just been a long time, since I did the ‘meeting-the-parents’ thing,” he admits, then instantly blushes.

Hugo’s smile returns and he laughs, carefully settling his hand on Jens’s shoulder and gives a squeeze. “Well, this is the first time I’ve ever done the ‘meeting-the-boyfriend’ thing. So there’s still no need for nerves, alright?”

Lucas squeezes his wrist, and Jens nods, and after another small consideration the man steps forward and captures him in a short hug. His grip is tight, but not forceful, and beyond the surprise Jens finds himself sinking into it. He closes his eyes when they start to water, after realising it’s so surprising because he has never experienced it. He can’t help but wonder if this is how it’s supposed to be, or if Lucas is just really lucky.

Hugo releases him too quickly, and Jens quickly and quietly clears his throat to get rid of the emotions clogged there. The sudden absence of contact is mended by Lucas pulling him back against his side, hand now clearly gripping Jens’s with their fingers interlocked.

“Come on, let’s sit down first,” Hugo beckons, setting his hand on his son’s arm this time as he pushes them back inside the room and lets Lucas guide the way to the sofa. Lucas sits down and pulls Jens with him and Hugo takes the armchair, leaning forward with his hands clasped between his knees. “Do you want to talk about your options, Jens?”

Jens licks his lips, leaning closer to Lucas. “My options?”

Hugo nods. “Now, before you worry, you’re staying here for as long as you need. No arguments. You were always welcome.”

Jens relaxes, nodding gratefully as Lucas sets a hand on his knee.

“I’m just talking about what could help. There are measures you could take, over what happened,” Hugo says softly.

“I don’t want anything like that. It’s not—I didn’t even think about it. I’m not doing that.”

He worries that it’s too harsh, but Hugo is already smiling and nodding again, working to put him back at ease. “Alright. Feel free to stop me, any time, if you don’t want to discuss it, alright?” He waits for Jens to nod before continuing. “I mostly want to know if you have any concerns. Lucas mentioned a younger sister?”

Jens swallows. “Yeah, Lotte. I don’t think that I have to worry. It’s never been like…” he trails off, searching for the words, avoiding both their gazes. “He isn’t violent, or anything. Not really, not like that.”

Hugo purses his lips, but accepts the explanation without pushing any further for now. “What about your mother?”

“I don’t actually know. I thought that...that she agreed with him. She usually does. But then I realised she wasn’t even aware of what he was doing, and she was the reason I got out. She doesn’t—I never actually got to tell her anything. I don’t know what she thinks.”

“Then is it possible that she’d be on your side in this?” Hugo asks gently. “I know if, like you say, she usually supports your father, it can seem like the obvious answer to everything. But this is a very specific situation. You’re her son, and very often that counts for something more.”

The back of Jens’s eyes prick, and he does his best to blink the sensation away, tightly gripping Lucas’s hand again. Jens had returned his ring, and it’s there now on Lucas’s finger for Jens to run his thumb over, a point of focus. “I don’t know. I can’t imagine she would kick him out and that’s the only way…”

“I see. When are you eighteen, Jens?”

“Uhm. Next month. The nineteenth.”

Hugo nods. “Would it be suitable, then, to work towards other living arrangements? I understand the finance can be scary, and having a job in your final year is an additional layer of stress. But there are supports available, and I could give you a helping hand.”

Gosh, no. Jens can’t be any more of a burden. He quickly shakes his head. “I couldn’t accept that. It’s kind enough of you to let me stay here for a few weeks, but I promise I won’t be that much of a bother.”

“And what happens in a few weeks?” Hugo raises a brow. Jens stays quiet. “Jens, you’re really welcome here for as long as you need. Until you graduate if necessary. I just understand that it might not be the most comfortable feeling for you. But we don’t have to worry about it right now, alright? It’s just something we’ll work towards thinking about.”

After a while of hesitation, Jens nods in acceptance and hears Lucas’s quiet breath of relief. Jens squeezes his hand and relaxes slightly as Lucas squeezes back.

“What about your belongings? I see you had some of your clothes stored for you, but I’m assuming it’s not quite a full wardrobe. What about school supplies, even?”

“I didn’t take anything,” Jens admits. “I don’t even have my phone.”

Hugo hums. “Alright. Would you like me to go collect some things for you?”

Jens’s eyes widen. “Oh, no, you don’t have to do that.”

“Well, I would prefer it to sending you on your own, or with Lucas,” Hugo points out.

“No, really. I can manage without for another few days, then maybe get another friend to come with.”

“Of course, you can do what feels best, and take someone closer,” Hugo nods. “My offer still stands. Even if you just want someone to drive you, so you have a boot for the luggage. At any time.”

Jens nods again, overwhelmed with the generosity. His gratitude has rendered him speechless, and he’s almost relieved when Hugo claps his hands against his knees and then rises from the chair.

“Alright, I’ve done enough pushing and prodding at you. Tell me when I’m too much, kiddo. How about I make us some dinner to make up for it, hm?”

“Do you still know how to do that?” Lucas asks dubiously.

Hugo scoffs, looking over his shoulder on his way to the door. “Just for that, you’re waiting longer for a gourmet meal.”

Lucas snorts as the man winks at them, then tilts his head against Jens’s shoulder once he’s out of sight. Jens sinks against him and releases a shaky breath.

“Are you okay?” Lucas questions, voice quiet even in the silent room. There’s distant movement, the sound of knocking cupboard doors and clanging pots and pans. Everything about it holds an intimacy Jens doesn’t feel entirely familiar with.

“Yeah,” Jens says honestly. “I actually can’t believe how cool he is.”

“For my sake, you’ll never tell him.”

Jens snorts.

“You’re right, though,” Lucas says quietly. “It’s good to have an actual adult who knows what they’re talking about, I guess.”

Jens hums, turning to press a kiss to the top of Lucas’s head before resting his cheek there. “By the way, the clothes thing. Does that mean he saw you in my hoodie?”

Lucas huffs. “Of course, that’s what you’d pick up on.”

“That’s kind of adorable.”

“Shut up.”

Jens laughs, about to say something else when the buzzer to the apartment sounds and he and Lucas pause to look at each other. After a few seconds, Hugo appears in the doorway with a furrowed brow.

“Were you expecting anyone?” he asks. They shake their heads, and he gestures for them to stay where they are. “Alright, I’ll see who it is.”

When he disappears into the hallway, Jens rises to his feet. He shifts his weight anxiously, staring at the door, and then Lucas is up and pulling him along. They creep out of the room quietly, though not enough to avoid Hugo’s notice, who shoots an aggravated look back at them before there’s a knock on the door. Lucas and Jens remain mostly concealed around the corner as Hugo cracks the door open. There’s a pause, and then he pulls it open fully and looks back as two boys are revealed in the entryway.

Jens steps out and Robbe barrels into him instantly, knocking the wind out of him as he winds his arms tightly around Jens’s waist. Jens comes out of his shock quickly and returns the hug, pulling Robbe into his chest with arms wrapped around his shoulders and face buried in his curls.

“Fuck, I missed your dumb face,” Robbe croaks, clinging to him, and Jens tightens his own hold with a hoarse laugh.

“I missed your dumb-ass,” Jens returns, completing the old joke. Robbe just keeps hugging him silently, pressed as close as he can get, and Jens eagerly accepts the affection of his best friend. It’s even more familiar than Lucas, and while it doesn’t incite quite the same reaction, it’s just as comforting.

“I know you didn’t invite us, but he got impatient,” Sander says apologetically, presumably talking to Lucas. “I did send you a text.”

“My phone’s in my room,” Lucas says. “Don’t worry about it.”

Robbe finally loosens up and steps back as Hugo speaks up, most of his attention on the new arrivals. “Wait, don’t tell me,” he holds a finger up to Lucas, before pointing it at Sander, still hovering in the doorway. “You’re Sander,” he guesses, leaving the boy nodding awkwardly as Hugo turns to his boyfriend. “So you must be Robbe.”

Instead of agreeing, Robbe blushes, one of his hands still curled in Jens’s hoodie. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have barged in.”

Sander hums in agreement, nodding at him. “He’s usually the polite one,” he tells Hugo.

Hugo waves them off with his already-familiar smile. “Understood. These are special circumstances, I imagine. I was just about to start on dinner, if the two of you would like to join?”

Sander’s lips part as he and Robbe share a bewildered look and Robbe quickly shakes his head. “No really, we didn’t mean to intrude—“

“Nonsense,” Hugo scoffs, ushering Sander inside along with them. “Come on, come in, sit down. It’ll be a while, anyway, so you can catch up while it’s cooking. Finally, I’m getting to meet you. I missed having a group of boys to feed.”

“Dad, you’re being weird,” Lucas says, exasperated, but Hugo merely flaps a hand at him and makes his way back to the kitchen.

“No allergies?” he calls back to them.

They all confirm the negative, and he offers a thumbs up before disappearing, leaving them all staring after in silence. Sander is the one to break it, looking to Lucas with raised brows, teasing smirk already in place. “Personally, I think he’s swell.”

Lucas groans, and Jens laughs, and Robbe beams at him before gathering him in another hug.

Jens accepts it with a growing warmth in his chest.

#van der stoffels #vds #wtfock #skam nl #sink or swim #vds season fic #sos clip

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inkabelledesigns · 3 years

Text

So anyone that’s been chatting with me in the past week knows that I’m on a bit of a kick for Balan Wonderworld. A friend of mine has been livestreaming it, and I finally got my hands on it!...Only for my brother to kind of monopolize my Switch and play it for himself. ^^’’’ I don’t mind too much, but he’s probably gonna beat it before I do, the kid’s almost made it to World 7, just needs a few more statues for the train. Meanwhile I’ve only gotten to touch the game for the second time tonight, which has landed me searching for statues and beating the World 3 boss. But I’m glad he’s having fun, it’s awesome to share this game with him. He dances along to all the little celebration sequences, it’s adorable.

Today he went back and beat the boss for World 4, and he told me it had the same music for that dance sequence as World 2 did. I double checked just to be sure, and he’s right, it does! That strikes me as pretty interesting. I knew they reused the dance tracks for different bosses, but I never paid much mind to the order in which they’re repeated. Because it’s not a straight “123,” it jumps around a little more. It makes me wonder about the ties between the game and the novel. (This is where we get into spoiler territory.)

So I haven’t finished the novel yet (I get the sense I’m right before the final boss, much like my friend is for her game playthrough), but in it, every character has a different name. So our World 2 stage master, Fiona, is called Seagazer, and our World 4 stage master, Haoyu, is Skygazer. It’s established that these two have a close friendship since coming to Wonderworld, and they’ve got a lot in common. So the fact that their sequences share music makes me wonder if the others do too. So now I need to check. If you guys want to look too, here’s the other friendships:

Watcher and Sentinel (World 5 and World 8)

Clocktower Kid and Pensive Pierrot (World 6 and World 9)

Madam of the Mansion and Checkered King (World 10 and World 7)

If they have the same dance music, I’m gonna chuckle, that’s a really clever note game developers. I’d also like to say, dammit devs, some of the stories of these characters are so much darker in the book. Like, we find out Checkered King, the chess guy, lost his wife to sickness while he was too focused on trying to keep his title. Like oh my god, way to make me cry! Not all of them get fleshed out like that, but a lot of them do. Skygazer over there? He almost gets paralyzed in an airplane accident. Scarecrow, our good buddy Farmer Jose? He’s got a family, his home and crops are destroyed in that storm, and he’s afraid he’ll never be able to send his son to college. Madam of the Mansion has some serious issues with imposter syndrome as an artist (that hit me). Bugsy, our sweet little bug loving girl? I already loved her in the game, I identified with her as someone who had weird interests growing up, but when they go into detail about her laboring over these bugs for a class project, and everyone making fun of her for it, oh it hurt, it hurt a lot. And Lady of the Midnight Sun? Oh my gosh I cried the most over her. Her parents loved her dearly, and while going out to get her a Christmas present, they died in a car crash. She feels responsible for their death, and that hurts, that hurts so much. While I still have both of my parents, I can’t help but empathize a little with her and Clocktower Kid on the subject on death. I’ve been afraid of losing my dad since my 17th birthday, and I’m now 24. I know that even when his death does come, while I’ve been expecting it, it’s going to hit me harder and a lot worse than I think it will, and mind you, my imagination is scarily vivid. It all hits very close to home, all of the things they go through are very human problems.

That’s the thing I really love about Balan Wonderworld, but it’s also the biggest contrast between the game and the book: It’s a story about healing. In the game, everything starts out bad but ends up happy, but in the book, it starts off happy and turns out really sad. Honestly, you read the book for the angst and then play the game for the good vibes, ‘cause like, you can’t NOT smile at least a little bit while seeing these characters! In the book, everyone is so upset when you snap them out of their monstrous forms, angry and grieving now that they have the memories of their human, Earthly lives back, because they didn’t want to have to go through any of the pain and trauma again. Lance locked it all away, let them be happy, but it wasn’t real happiness. And it’s the moments where Balan pops in and tries to comfort some of these characters that really hit me. (Y’know, besides the lore point of him taking off his hat.) He sounds like he feels bad that this has to be done, but he knows that if he, Leo, and Emma continue to let Lance manipulate things, Wonderworld won’t be alright, and neither will any of the people who live there. Balan makes it very clear that Wonderworld isn’t about being happy all the time, it’s about finding balance within your life, within yourself. Even though we go through difficult times, we have to keep going, we have to believe that there’s something better on the horizon, that we can move forward and make things better for ourselves, be it by charting our own path or working together with our friends. That’s a really positive message. We have to balance the positive and the negative, otherwise we won’t know joy for what it really is. While I may not know how this whole thing ends, I have to say, I haven’t had this much fun with a game in a long time. 3D platformers are usually not my jam, I’m really bad at being precise (which has been a problem a few times so far), but this game goes at a slower pace, which is exactly what I needed. It’s so cheery and bright, super colorful too. Not gonna lie, I have a fanfic in the works already. ^^’’’’ Hope to share a lot of love for the maestro with all of you!

#balan wonderworld #balan wonderworld spoilers #balan wonderworld novel

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kairoscelrosis · 3 years

Text

Ocean Eyes - A Leonard “Bones” McCoy x Reader Fic

Series: Star Trek TOS

Pairings: Leonard “Bones” McCoy x Reader, Implied Spirk

Characters: Reader, Leonard “Bones” McCoy, James T Kirk, Spock, Montgomery Scotty, Nyota Uhura

Trigger Warnings: No triggers apply.

Word Count: 5,202 words

Author’s Note:

This is my first fic! It has a small amount of fluff, but its mainly full of a plot revolving around the two mentioned relationships.

You can also find this fic on Wattpad.

Summary:

Y/N is confused about her feelings for Dr. McCoy. When Spock and Kirk come to know, they devise a fantabulous plan to bring both of them together.

I was lying down on my bed in a darkened room. Thoughts wandered, but always stopped on one thing. Rather, on one person. It’s weird. I had always liked him a lot – platonically, of course. This was different. “What the hell?”, I said out loud. But that didn’t help the storm raging in my mind. My alarm beeped. 1530 hours. “Damn.” I huffed, got changed, and left for the Bridge. My eight-hour shift was about to begin.

______________________________________________________________

On the bridge

“Captain.”, I said in a confident, but tired voice. “Lieutenant Y/L/N reporting for Beta Shift.”

“Yes, Lieutenant.” Kirk replied without looking towards me. “Please report to Mr. Spock for this shift’s agenda. You will be taking over from him for the Beta shift.”

I walked over to Mr. Spock’s science station. “Commander Spock. Lieutenant Y/L/N reporting.” His head bobbed in a small greeting.

Spock and I had known each other since my academy days when he was my professor for most subjects. He was my role model and mentor, and I wanted to follow in his footsteps. He was also my closest friend on the ship.

After briefing me with the progress he had made on the current star charting assignment and about his inferences on the nearby nebula, Spock walked over to Kirk, and whispered something. Kirk nodded and said, “Please continue with our research assignments. Mr. Sulu, you have the conn. I’ll be in my quarters.”

______________________________________________________________

Spock’s POV

After filling in Y/N, I walked over to the Captain and quietly said, “Captain, I would like to speak with you.” He nodded, gave his usual orders, and both of us left the bridge for his quarters.

Once in the sanctuary of his quarters, the Captain turned to me, and asked, “What is it, Mr. Spock? You seem concerned.”

I replied in the affirmative, and said, “My concern is for Lieutenant Y/L/N, sir. She seems to be ‘out of her elements’, as would be expressed in Terran colloquial.”

The Captain offered a small, though rueful smile at this. “I agree with you Mr. Spock. She is not one of the outspoken ones, but she does seem a bit… subdued. Perhaps we should ask her what the problem is?”

“Perhaps. Though I have another suggestion sir. We are going to take a short shore leave on Star Base 12 in a few hours. Why not relieve Lieutenant Y/L/N early from her Beta shift so that she can recuperate and make the most out of this shore leave?”

“Yes Mr. Spock. An excellent idea. Anyhow, we take shore leaves only once in a blue moon, so why not allow her to rest a bit before going back out into the dark. I believe we will establish orbit around Star Base 12 by 1800 hours. I myself will relieve her at 1830 hours. Thank you for bringing this to my notice Mr. Spock.”

“My pleasure.”

______________________________________________________________

A few hours later…

Y/N’s POV

After several attempts to refuse an early shore leave and in complete denial of any need of this favour, I had finally beamed down onto Star Base 12.

Along with Scotty.

You might wonder why I was accompanied by the Chief Engineer. That was because of my resistance to go down. Kirk had asked Scotty to accompany me so that I did not sneak back onto the ship. I sighed inwardly.

Wanting to make the most of this time, I asked Scotty to come along with me to a street market. I loved the vibe of street markets – the dim lights, the muffled voices, walking around – it was the perfect ambience to relax.

“Hey Scotty! Come on!” I turned and called to Scotty, who was dragging his feet like a bored teenager. “Ach lass! I didn’t know that I’d have to babysit ya today. I wanted to go to the bar.” He moaned.

“Okay, okay, Lieutenant Commander Scott. Lieutenant Y/L/N will not hold you for long. Come, roam around with me for a while, and then we’ll both go to the bar.”

His face lit up like that of a child on Christmas morning. After that, there was a certain bounce in his step, not stalling anymore.

While scanning the stalls, I saw a small, wooden stringed instrument which piqued my interest. Picking it up gingerly, I held it in my hands. It felt right.

“Ah lass! What are ya doing with a ukulele?”

“You know the name of this instrument?” The shopkeeper asked, visibly surprised.

“Yes of course! My gran used to play this really well. She got it as an heirloom from her mother, who got it from her mother.”

I strummed the strings of the ukulele tentatively. A beautiful sound, though not very melodious, emerged.

“Can I buy this? It’s beautiful.”

The shopkeeper smiled, “You have really good taste. I can see you play this beautifully. That will be ten credits. If you want, I can teach this to you as well.” Her offer seemed genuine.

“Thank you so much!”

______________________________________________________________

At the bar

I let an evil grin emerge. Scotty had his head down. I had known his weakness, and now I had the chance to escape.

Well, escape is a strong word, but I had been forced to come down – so it was justified.

I had just drunk a glass of iced tea, not preferring to be hungover the next morning. I had never really liked drinking anyway.

As I was sneaking out of the bar, I saw HIM coming in. My heart immediately jumped into my mouth, beating like crazy. I hid behind the table where an employee was granting entry to the guests. He gave me a weird look but did nothing about me being there.

Once certain that HE was gone, I brushed my clothes, held my head high and started to walk towards the door, when I heard someone call me, and I froze.

“Y/N? Whatcha doin’ here? I thought ya didn’t drink.” The southern drawl rolling smoothly off his tongue.

“H-Hey Doc. Yeah, I don’t drink. I was just giving Scotty some company. I’m going back to my room now.”

“’Kay, great! Have a nice evening.” He sauntered away to where Scotty lay knocked out.

This was getting harder day by day.

______________________________________________________________

The next morning

I was back in my quarters on the Enterprise. Last night had been great, though I won’t admit this to anyone.

After encountering Bones at the bar, I had gone to the shopkeeper who had sold me the ukulele, and I sat there till late at night, learning the basics. I picked up the chords pretty quickly and was onto my first song by midnight. The street shops were open till 2 in the morning, and the shopkeeper seemed keen on teaching me, so I figured why not learn as much as I could.

She told me she had many copies (yes, actual paper copies!) of songs. She called them scores or sheet music. She gave me all the copies of scores she possessed, and I was so grateful!

Rand smuggled me back onto the ship by manning the transporter. She was going down in a while and didn’t mind disobeying Kirk.

The clock flashed 0800 hours as I was snapped out of my thoughts about the previous night. I wanted to utilize the rest of my shore leave efficiently. I got up, showered, and walked to the replicator. When nothing came out even after swiping the card multiple times, I let a sigh out and decided that I’d have to go to the mess.

I swaggered along the deserted decks and corridors of the ship, making no effort to conceal myself. Most people were down on the planet, including the two I wanted to avoid.

Walking into the mess, I ordered popcorn (weird choice, I know) and sat down. Spock, who had entered the mess just after me, slid into the seat opposite me, both of us falling into a comfortable silence. We often had our breakfast together. I was one of the people closest to Spock.

Putting down the Vulcan equivalent of an apple, Spock looked at me and asked, “How are you Y/N? You seemed extremely sombre yesterday. That is unlike you.”

The corner of my mouth lifted slightly at his concern. “I am fine.” I replied. “I guess the work got to me. Yesterday was a nice break.” So much for not telling anyone, I thought, amused. “I don’t think Kirk thought of relieving me early yesterday. Someone else was behind that move.” I gave a teasing grin. Spock’s eyes crinkled in a semblance of a grin.

Once done with our respective meals, I said, “Come to my quarters tonight, Spock. I’ll tell you about my evening and you can tell me about yours. Maybe I’ll even play you something. Bring your lyre as well. I wanna hear you play it.”

Spock bobbed his head, confirming that he’d be there.

______________________________________________________________

That evening

I heard knocking at the door. “Come in.” Spock walked in with his Vulcan lyre in hand. I gave him a smile.

Though my quarters were small, I had made enough space for us to sit comfortably, without invading each other’s space. He sat down on the straight backed, cushioned seat which he preferred, and I pulled my desk chair to sit on.

We talked about the events of last night, me reciting everything other than the event when I ran into the Doc (that incident was kept to myself for the time being). Spock told how he had done some work in the science lab, read a book, and practiced playing the lyre (though he didn’t need any).

“You said that you were going to play for me?” It was more a request than a question. “Yeah.”, I replied. “I bought this old Terran stringed instrument called the ukulele yesterday, and the lady who sold it to me taught me how to read sheet music and also helped me play my first song. It’s “Ocean Eyes” by Billie Eilish from 2016. I’ve heard it before. You wanna hear it?”

Spock lifted his eyebrows in classic Spock fashion, essaying his agreement.

I rarely sang, but when I did, it was only in the privacy of my own quarters. Spock had heard me sing, though not very often.

I started strumming, trying to pick the beat from where I had to start the vocal.

I've been watchin' you for some time Can't stop starin' at those ocean eyes Burning cities and napalm skies Fifteen flares inside those ocean eyes Your ocean eyes.

No fair You really know how to make me cry When you gimme those ocean eyes I'm scared I've never fallen fro…

I faltered. Spock nodded, his eyes intently watching, eyebrow perked. I could see something glint in his eyes but didn’t understand what it was. I resumed the strumming.

I've never fallen from quite this high Fallin' into your ocean eyes Those ocean eyes.

I've been walkin' through a world gone blind Can't stop thinkin' of your diamond mind Careful creature made friends with time He left her lonely with a diamond mind And those ocean eyes.

No fair You really know how to make me cry When you gimme those ocean eyes I'm scared I've never fallen from quite this high Fallin' into your ocean eyes Those ocean eyes.

I had been nervous, not because it was my first time playing this song in front of somebody (because I knew Spock would never disregard the importance of beginning, and subsequently growing as a person), but because this song reminded me of a certain someone. If Spock connected the dots, I don’t know what his reaction would be, and whether he would tell McCoy or Jim.

There was silence for a moment. Spock opened his mouth to say something, but then, his communicator beeped. Flipping it open, he said, “Spock here.”

Kirk’s voice cracked through. “Mr. Spock. I request you to please report to my quarters. I have an urgent matter to discuss with you.”

Spock looked at me, that glint still there. I nodded my assent and picked up his lyre from my bed and handed it to him, as he stood from his chair to leave.

I mouthed, “See you later”, and then the door shut.

Lying down on my bed, I decided that it would be best to go to sleep.

But sleep just wouldn’t come.

______________________________________________________________

Spock’s POV

I had had a nice evening with Y/N, though the lyrics of her song still perplexed me. I was reminded of someone by those lyrics, but I can’t seem to determine whom. My brain was “short-circuiting”, as Jim would say, but I was not able to put a finger on who the song pointed to. I had known Y/N long enough to know that this wasn’t just “nothing”, though that’s what she wanted me to believe.

I didn’t know what to make of Jim’s call either. He had planned to stay ashore for at least 12 more hours, but he now was aboard the ship. Though Jim’s words had been authoritative, his tone was friendly and indicated that this had nothing to do with the ship.

I knocked on the door of Jim’s quarters, and heard a small “Come in”. When I walked in, Jim was seated at his desk, his hands intertwined into a tent. “A ‘deep in thought’ position” I thought.

“Jim. Is something troubling you?” Jim looked up and gestured me to sit down. I complied. “No Spock, nothing is troubling me. It’s just, I think I know now why Y/N has been so quiet.”

I gave him a quizzical look.

“Spock, I believe you were with Y/N when I called you?” I nodded. I couldn’t understand where this was going.

“What were you doing?” One of my eyebrows lifted in confusion. Why was Jim asking that?

“Jim, I don’t think you should ask that. I think, on Earth, this is called snooping. Though you are a good friend of Y/N’s, it is my moral responsibility not to tell you anything about what she told or did in confidence.”

Jim’s eyes expressed the same warmth as his smile when I said that. “True gentleman you are, Mr. Spock. Okay, I’ll tell you why I asked that question.” My eyebrows perched higher, indicating my interest.

“I was going to Y/N’s chamber to admonish her for not following her Captain’s orders.”

My expression moved from interested to inquiring.

“I had ordered Y/N to stay on the planet for the entirety of the shore leave. However, when I went to her room at the lodging, she wasn’t there. She had told McCoy that she would be in her room. I knew where she would be – in her quarters, aboard the Enterprise. I walked to her quarters, mock-fuming, and was about to knock, when I heard her start singing.”

I opened my mouth to rebuke Jim for eavesdropping, when he interrupted, “I know Spock, but I had no intention to eavesdrop. I was just drawn to her voice and that song. I love that song.”

“Ocean Eyes by Billie Eilish?”

“Yeah, that one. I was surprised that you didn’t hear me standing outside, what with your enhanced hearing.”

I paused for a moment before I spoke, staring past Jim’s shoulder, my eyes resting on his laurels. “I had been thinking about something.”

______________________________________________________________

Jim’s POV

Spock had apparently zoned out. That was a first.

“I think I can guess what you were thinking about.”

Spock’s eyebrows flew up. “Do you?” he enquired.

“Yes Spock, I think I do. And I think you do too, now. You have arrived at a conclusion, and I would like you to share it with me.”

Spock seemed to hesitate for a moment, but then turned to face me. “I think this has something to do with Dr. McCoy.” My smile turned into a grin. Spock was REALLY smart with this stuff for a person who swore by logic. Spock took this as a confirmation that he was correct.

“I assume I am correct. However, I do not fully understand.”, he remarked.

“My dear Spock, I was surprised that you inferred this much.” If Spock’s brows could go higher, they would have. “It is my hypothesis that Y/N likes Dr. McCoy, but she is in denial.” Spock’s face expressed a mixture of distaste and bewilderment. I chuckled.

“I have known Y/N since our academy days. She is slightly younger than me, but she was always a prodigy. Always top of the class. Not just with marks or grades, but with her work ethic as well. She has never been in a relationship; she never felt the need to be in one. Now, she reminds me a lot of someone I know. Maybe that’s why both of them are such good friends.” I looked at Spock. His face radiated a hint of pride.

I continued. “And now, she is faced by this overwhelming feeling, one I doubt she ever felt before. And she is uncertain, how to act on this feeling, or whether to act at all.”

Realization dawned on Spock’s visage. Then, it was replaced by dubiousness and even a hint of distaste. “But why Dr. McCoy?” he asked. I let out a hearty laugh. Everyone knew of the friendly banter between him and McCoy.

“No Jim, I am serious. I care for Y/N deeply, though not in a romantic sense. If the doctor did anything to hurt her, I would disapprove.”

By “disapprove” I knew Spock would go on a killing spree. And the first would be Bones. I grinned inwardly. This was starting to get interesting, and I now had a chance to tease Spock.

“Isn’t disapproval a human emotion?” I tried (and failed) to keep the smirk off my face.

Spock looked at me dead in the eyes. My stomach suddenly became a bottomless pit. With an intense gaze, he whispered, “Yes.”

______________________________________________________________

Bones’ POV

I was on my way to the Transporter Room when Uhura said that she had a message from Joanna. Her messages really made my day. I asked her to transfer the message to the intercom in the Transporter Room.

I walked into the transporter room, which seemed to be deserted. “Never mind”, I thought. I would have preferred to listen to the message alone, so I didn’t mind. I switched on the intercom and confirmed that I had reached the Transporter Room.

Immediately, Joanna’s message started playing.

“Hey Papa!”, her sweet voice chirped. I smiled. “I was a few light years away from Earth, so decided that why not spend my holiday on our home planet. I went to Georgia and checked on our house and the farm. Everything is in place. I am off to India to spend a week or two. I have a month before I join the Farragut as their nurse trainee. I am really excited! Tell me if the Enterprise’s schedule matches with the Farragut’s, so that we can meet soon. Love you and meet you soon!”

“Wow”, I breathed. “What an exciting young lady.” I thanked Uhura, and then typed up my message on my PADD and sent it to her. I still like sending her emails, though they were considered ancient. “Hmm.” I hummed. “Forever the sensualist.”

______________________________________________________________

Later that evening

I was trying to find the bar where Scotty had asked me to join him, when I caught a glimpse of Y/N coming out of a bar. I had heard that she had been accompanied by Scotty onto the surface, so I started walking towards her. I heard some laughter and turned to look in the direction of the commotion. Seeing nothing of significance, I faced again towards my destination, searching for Y/N, but she had disappeared. “Weird”, I mumbled.

I stepped into the foyer and was about to enter the bar when I turned around, wondering where Y/N had gone. And there she was! I called out her name and made small talk. Then we both went our separate ways.

I spotted Scotty and hurried towards his seat. “Got started without me, huh?”, I teased. Scotty, who had had is head down, lifted it and slurred, “Why are yer cheeks red, eh McCoy? Had a swig on the ship, huh?” I knitted my eyebrows together. I hadn’t been drinking. I dismissed it to be the cold.

______________________________________________________________

A few hours later

A blinding light flashed in my eyes. “Who’s it? What’re you doin’?” I caught a glimpse of a blue shirt. It reminded me of someone.

“Y/N?”

“Bones why do you have to drink so much? You always get hungover and start hallucinating. Then I have to take care of you. Dammit, I’m a Starship captain, not a doctor.”

“Ah Jimmy boy. Take me home now, will ya?”

______________________________________________________________

The next morning

I woke up with a splitting headache. When I opened my eyes and looked around that I realized I was not in my quarters. Hell, I wasn’t even on the Enterprise.

“Shit.” I cursed softly.

“Finally, you are up, huh? I really think you could’ve given Sleeping Beauty a run for the money.”

I huffed. I knew that voice well. Maybe too well. And I knew what that meant. “I’m sorry Jim. Just got flown away with the drinking last night. I don’t even remember you picking me up.”

“I think we should stop booking an extra room for you. You always end up crashing in mine during shore leaves.”, Jim remarked sarcastically, getting up from the reading chair and putting down his PADD.

“Drink this. You’ll feel better.” He handed me a glass of lemonade.

“What, you’re gonna use my own hacks against me?”

“Shut up and drink it.”

I accepted the glass and started taking sips from it.

“You know, you said something last night which made me think a lot.”

“Well, that’s new.” I remarked with a smirk.

Jim feigned annoyance, then continued. “You know, when I came to pick you up last night, I was wearing a blue shirt.”

“Mh-hm”

“And when you saw me, you said, ‘Y/N?’. Were you expecting her or something?”

“Hmm. I don’t remember saying that actually. Maybe that was because I saw her last night before going into the bar. She was hiding from somebody, I guess. And I was surprised to even see her at a bar – she doesn’t drink, you know.”

Jim nodded. “Do you know where she went?”

“She said she was going to her room.” I said, matter-of-factly.

“’Kay.”

______________________________________________________________

That evening

Jim had left for the Enterprise – he had some work onboard. I decided that I’d roam around the markets for a while. I never was a fan of shopping, but Christine always asked me to take small memorabilia from each planet I visited for Joanna. She seemed to like it – so I didn’t mind too much.

Hands tucked behind my back, I strolled through the stalls. I came across a shop selling ancient art prints. There were abstract paintings, movie poster recreations and the like. I picked up a print of warm toned abstract art and a recreation of the Titanic poster for Joanna. Suddenly, a small necklace and bracelet caught my eye. It didn’t seem to have any lustre, but it had an aura that I was drawn to. Entranced, I asked what it was.

“It is Vokaya – a rare Vulcan jewel.” The shopkeeper said. He was Vulcan as well. So much for being in a green-hobgoblin-free zone. But really, I was mesmerised by this ornament, and ended up buying it.

Walking back to my room, I huffed. I had never been an impulsive buyer. Thinking about the peculiar feeling that had filled me, I walked down the corridor and entered my room.

And collided with someone standing straight like a rod.

I groaned. I knew who this was.

______________________________________________________________

Y/N’s POV

The next morning

I finally got out of my bed – I had barely gotten any sleep. I kept tossing and turning, thinking about my encounter with Bones last night and Spock’s reaction to me singing that song. He must have figured it out by now.

“Well – how bad can the situation get?” I murmured.

Before I could go into the washroom to get ready for the day, I heard a knock on the door.

“Come in.”

In stormed Jim Kirk – his expression unreadable.

“Captain? What happened? Is everything alright?”

“Jim, please; I’m off duty.” Sitting down on the chair where Spock had sat last night, he said, “Calm down Y/N. Nothing’s wrong. Can’t a friend come to talk to another friend when everyone else is on shore leave?” He flashed that “I am charming” smile. I rolled my eyes.

“Sit down Jim. Let me get dressed. Then we can have breakfast together in the mess.”

Jim shook his head. “I think we should eat in my quarters.”

That was new. Why did Jim want to have breakfast alone? “Okay…” I said, sounding hesitant.

Jim gave me a smile, a genuine one. “Don’t worry, Y/N. Really. It’s nothing.”

Knowing Jim for so many years had made one thing clear:

When he said, “It’s nothing.”, there really WAS something.

______________________________________________________________

Jim’s POV

When I entered Y/N’s quarters, she looked a mess. She had always been an extremely graceful and likeable person – after all, we both were nerds. But today, there was something off. She had eyebags beneath her eyes, and her tired demeanour indicated that she hadn’t gotten much sleep.

But I could not bail out on Spock’s plan. So, it would have to do.

Spock had come up with something which was very unlike Spock – but the man never failed to surprise me. We had done what we had to do with McCoy. It hadn’t been easy, because he would not sleep at night, and kept protesting when he woke up. But we had managed.

He was in his quarters, unaware what was happening. We had brought him aboard forcefully. He won’t sit there for long. We had to hurry.

“Hey, Jim. Let’s go.”

I snapped my head in the direction of the voice.

“After you”

As the door slid open, a small voice came through.

“I am sorry Y/N.”

And then, Y/N slumped unconscious.

______________________________________________________________

A few hours later

Bones POV

Spock and Jim had been acting weird. Like, they have always been slightly off their hooks, but today, there was an air of urgency about them.

That is extremely discomforting with Spock, because usually he is the patient one preventing Jim from running around like a headless chicken.

I was pacing around my quarters. I had been asked to stay inside until called. “Captain’s orders.”, Jim had said.

I huffed. Did he really think I was going to listen to him? It had been a while since they had left, and I decided to get some work done.

Before I could decide what was the agenda for today, my intercom whistled. “McCoy here.”

“Uhura here.” Her voice was strained. “Doctor, please hurry to the Bridge. There is an emergency. Y/N has fainted.” Cursing under my breath, I picked up my medical kit and rushed out of the door.

The doors of the turbolift slid open and I walked out, worried what had happened. I looked around but there was no one. Perplexed, I scanned the bridge for any signs of hastened evacuation. My eyes landed on a head poking from the Captain’s chair.

I walked to the chair and turned it around. Y/N was slumped unconscious in it. I took her pulse, but it was really faint. I took out a hypo and filled it with cordrazine. This was risky material, but it would wake Y/N up for sure. The hypo hissed as it pressed it into her forearm, and she stirred.

______________________________________________________________

Y/N’s POV

My head was throbbing. My eyes fluttered, but they won’t open. “Too bright”, I mumbled. Someone standing next to me said, “Computer, dim the lights.” The voice mumbled something, then stopped. My eyes opened, and then focussed on the person kneeling beside me. “Doctor?” I said, voice cracking.

“Yeah Y/N. What happened? Why did you faint? Why are you sitting in the Captain’s chair? Do you remember anything?”

I looked around, a bewildered look covering my face. I didn’t remember coming to the bridge. “I don’t know Doc… I don’t even remember coming to the bridge…” McCoy got up quickly and started examining me with his tricorder.

“No signs of mental trauma. Are you sure you don’t remember coming here?” I nodded. Looking around, I now noticed that the lighting was pinkish. “Hey Doc… why is the lighting here pink?” I failed to keep the smile off my face.

He chuckled. “I don’t know. When you woke up, I ordered the computer to dim the lights. It did, but the lights also became pink.”

Suddenly, it hit me. “Oh my God. I just remembered. This has something to do with Jim. And Spock. Jim had come to my quarters to invite me for breakfast. When I was about to walk out, somebody said, ‘I am sorry Y/N.’, and then I fainted.”

McCoy’s eyes had grown wide. He seemed angry. “Come on. Let’s find the two devils.”

I tried getting up but stumbled. McCoy held my forearm and held me up. Then he stopped. “Y/N. There’s a piece of paper stuck to your back.” Confused, I asked him to remove it. “It won’t come off.”

“What does it say?”

“Um… It says, ‘I’ve been watching you for some time; Can’t stop staring at those ocean eyes.’”

I froze. I turned around to face McCoy and opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

I couldn’t decipher the expression on his face, but I could see the gears turning in his mind. Would he be angry? Or upset? I half expected him to just shrug and walk away, when surprisingly he held my hand and kissed it.

I tilted my head like a confused squirrel, giving him a look of *almost* disbelief.

He chuckled, “Yeah I get it now. But before we get all sweet, I really wanna hunt down both the red-blooded and the green-blooded devils. They are not going to get away with this.”

I looked into his eyes, for the first time today.

And I felt myself sinking deep into the ocean of his eyes.

______________________________________________________________

Epilogue

Spock’s POV

We had watched the events on the bridge as they took place trough the security cameras. By we, I mean Jim, I and Uhura.

Uhura was laughing so hard that she was on the verge of choking. Jim was bursting with laughter and happiness, his cheeks red. The sight made me want to smile broadly.

“Oh my God Spock, you really are a genius. This was the cleverest shipping of two people ever!”

I tilted my head, asking him what “shipping” meant.

“Never mind. Let’s go now. Otherwise, Bones will hypo the lives out of us. And Y/N adding to the party is not going to be beneficial.”

He gripped my hand and lead the way, running through the corridors of our beloved ship.

And I didn’t mind being by his side one bit.

#leonard mccoy #bones mccoy #spock #jim kirk #james t kirk #tos #star trek #st:tos #nyota uhura #uhura #bones x reader #implied spirk #jim x spock

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