pokémon game plots will forever be some of the wildest things to grasp for me. a bunch of environmentalists dressing up like pirates actually almost drown the world. oh yeah you can also dress up your pikachu in silly outfits and pick berries for them. jeff bezos creates a death laser using gods to try and destroy france. oh yeah you can also participate in cutsy pageants w your pokémon and yassify your poodle. meanwhile, in hawaii, aliens sent by your girlfriend’s abusive mom are trying to kill everything and many of them look like lovecraftian horrors. have fun surfing on manta rays though. meanwhile, in meiji era japan, you have to battle The Devil from The Bible TWICE because this loser who’s been Just There the whole game has religious trauma and wants to fistfight god. everything wants to KILL YOU and you’re getting paid minimum wage for groundbreaking scientific research. GOD from THE BIBLE gives you an iphone -11 reality is BREAKING NOW GO CATCH 20 BIDOOF AND THREE LAKE SPIRITS
“Magikarp are a joke in the Pokémon world. Their signature move does nothing. They learn 4 moves, which are all very weak. It's value to most players is its evolution, but I just think one magikarp would be funny.”
“He's just a fish. He jumps. He splashes. That's it. He will lose a lot but that's ok because he has a song dedicated to him on the official Pokemon YouTube channel so no matter what, magikarp can rest easy knowing he's won my heart ❤️”
“If it can stall out the opponent for 40 turns while it drains all its PP for Splash, it can use Struggle to damage the opponent! There’s a chance!”
Jesus Christ:
“he’s like a carpenter. I think he’d be strong enough to hold his own in a fight. also the son of god or whatever”
Jazz: “Nuh-uh. You are not putting that in the wall.”
Danny: What?
Jazz: Your snack. Eat it now or seal it up and decontaminate it.
Danny: I want to save it for later. It’ll be a midnight snack.
Jazz: That’s fine. Just not in the wall, and it needs to be decontaminated first.
Danny: Why?
Jazz: Out of sight out of mind. Do you remember what happened the last time you put one of those in the wall?
Danny: What? Pssh. N-no. No I don’t remember anything. Nothing happened a-and I got to eat yummy snacks.
Jazz: Oh really? You don’t remember? Let me refresh it for you. Your snack became sentient, tore a hole through the drywall, and started attacking us. At 2am. We lost our security deposit.
Danny: The landlord couldn’t prove anything! They didn’t even show up on the security cameras!
MK’s monkey form doesn’t feel right to me so i wanted to break up his transformation into stages. Maybe as he learns to accept that side of himself it becomes part of him, instead of changing between human and monkey randomly (which is probably painful). Love yourself, NOW!!!