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foolishfalls · 1 year

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Old Friends

Happy Holidays, @suuilee!! I was your secret santa for @fmasecretsanta!

First off, apologies for my delay in posting this! I've been struggling so much with editing lately and that took me a lot longer than I thought it would. Still, I hope this brings you some belated warmth this holiday season.

I tried to consider all of your prompts, and I've been dying to write about Ed and Riza's relationship and their character parallels, and of course there's a heaping side of Royai. Hope you enjoy it!

Rated T | 3538 Words | Canon Compliant (mostly i think!?), Found Family, Love Confessions, Ed-centric, Implied Royai, Lil bit of angst, Mostly Ed being Silly and wanting the best for his loved ones

Read on AO3

Ed was wandering through Central City that afternoon when he arrived upon a thought–it wasn’t often that he visited Captain Hawkeye at home.

He had just left Gracia’s apartment after visiting with Elycia. The young girl had spent moments between mouthfuls of stew rambling to Ed about the elementary alchemy she’d been learning in school, interrupted by the occasional scolding from Gracia for chewing with her mouth open. He allowed her to ramble on, prompting her to talk more about her studies, the vast expanse of a world that felt so new to such a young kid.

He couldn’t help but think that she reminded him of himself when he was that age. It brought a new kind of warmth to his chest.

Ed spent much of his time since the Promised Day holed up at his home in Resembool, one that he was fortunate enough to return to.

Nowadays, it was rare that he let himself leave his little hometown and its quiet, unassuming safety unless he was pursuing research with his brother or helping an old friend. Wandering the city streets reminded him of a time when the country was in danger, when he was still down one arm and his brother’s whole body.

Ed didn’t care to revisit such a feeling when he had the comforts of home to return to, a home he once thought he’d lost forever, a home he wouldn’t have felt worthy of returning to before he accomplished his goal.

For some reason, those thoughts lead him straight to Hawkeye.

He often thought of stopping by the Captain’s apartment–it would be nice to see Hayate, to sit and have tea with her as they had once in the past. That way, at least he wouldn’t have to see the Commander’s ugly mug for once. And then, there was also the matter of what he’d said to Winry before heading out on his travels.

I mean, after all, you love her, don’t you?

Echoes of Riza’s years-old words rushed up from below the surface of his memory, thrumming inside his eardrums. The Hawk’s Eye was famous for her perception–you couldn’t get a thing past her, but Ed hadn’t realized that sentiment applied to his silly little childhood crush, as well.

He dug his nails rhythmically into the heel of his palm, hammering out his thoughts. He felt like he needed to repay her for something, but he was unsure what, exactly–for the gun that she lent him to protect his loved ones back then, for the stories that she shared so he might avoid the mistakes she made. They were gestures that Ed had come to appreciate more as the years passed, as he grew further into adulthood.

With a decisive scrape of his thumb against his palm, he turned on his heels toward the east sector of the city, bound toward the Lieutenant’s apartment complex.

When he made it to her floor, Ed found the same non-descript doormat he remembered in the hallway. He braced himself and knocked.

It was just before sunset, so there was no guarantee that she would be home for the evening. She was known to work late, he remembered. He considered turning away, but then the doorknob rolled over with a click.

“Edward?” Riza appeared, her shoulders wrapped in a familiar cardigan, Hayate trailing behind at her feet, more docile than Ed remembered him. Her voice pitched up as she spoke, her shaky nerves evident in her tone. “Hi! This is unexpected.”

“Hi, Captain. Long time no see. I… I hope this isn’t a bother right now.” He silently chided himself as he stammered, his throat catching around the cumbersome feeling that filled the air between them

“Not at all, please, come in.”

The tea that she brewed tasted the same as it did years ago when their lives hung in a much more precarious balance.

He savored the taste with that in mind–where they came from, where they were headed, and what constants they had to rely on–feeling the warmth as it radiated into both of his hands.

“What brings you to Central?”

“I’m waiting to catch the morning train heading east. I’ll be meeting with Al and May in Xing to help with their research.”

“That’s wonderful! I hope it all goes well.”

“Thank you.” Ed set down the cup on its saucer. “How are things down at the Central Command? I hope the Colonel-ah, Commander isn’t working you too hard.”

He couldn’t help but trip over Roy’s newer title. For some reason, every time he went up a rank it left a bad taste in his mouth, like he could taste the compounded interest he was sure Roy would hold him accountable for once he collected his debt from their years-old deal.

“I appreciate your concern.” Riza’s hands were out of view, but Ed could tell she was twiddling her fingers in her lap by the slight sway of her elbows. “I’m trying to relax whenever I can. If anything, no one looks out for me more than he does.”

“I’m glad to hear that the old bastard still has your best interest at heart.” Still, softness permeated her gaze at the mention of him.

“So, what brings you here? I mean, not to Central, but…” She gestured broadly to her living area. It did look the same as he remembered it, save for the unpacked boxes that littered the floor last time, not a hair out of place.

“I came by because I feel like I never properly got to thank you for that time when you helped me out a few years ago.”

Riza looked at Ed, unsure at first, but the way he looked down at his teacup called the memory to mind–his sullen eyes, his lament about how useless he felt that day. It touched her heart, to know something so simple still meant something to him.

“Oh, Ed. It was the least I could do. I’m glad I was able to be there for you.”

“You’re humble, Captain. You went out of your way to help me even though you hardly knew me, and I’ve always been curious why.”

Riza felt like she was being put on the spot. Why, he’d asked–why would she help the little boy with the sullen face, with no way to carry on after losing his home, his family?

When she’d handed him the gun and when they spoke after he returned it, all she could think of was what she recognized in his eyes on that day in Resembool, the first day she met the Elric brothers. She’d seen those same eyes in the mirror before, she could have sworn–back home in her own empty country house, as she trudged forward through her own grief, as she forced herself to live on in the face of loss that felt endless, insurmountable.

“I guess I saw some part of myself in you, Ed.” She felt anxious, remembering how she once cleaned her gun in front of Edward that time, wishing she had something to busy her hands with besides a cup of tea. “I could tell you were desperate to protect the people you loved, the people you had left.”

Ed’s eyes remained fixed on the teacup, she could have sworn she saw drops trailing along his eyelids, but she didn’t dare call attention to it. She wracked her brain for a more accurate answer.

“I knew how you felt, and I wanted you to understand that you still had a way forward.”

When the words left her lips, a strange sort of openness hung heavy in the air around them. It occurred to Riza that this was something else she seemed to have in common with Ed–they were both awful when it came to moments like this–being candid with their emotions.

She’d never considered it until now, but it was selfish of her, really, the way she treated Edward back then. It was what she’d wanted most when her world seemed empty and hopeless.

She was grateful to have had someone like Roy to lean on back then, despite how things turned out in the end. She supposed Winry was someone like that to Ed, too.

She remembered how he’d sputtered and blushed back then when she brought up his obvious feelings for Winry–Winry, she thought. Finally, the perfect topic to shift their conversation away from the subject that was plaguing Ed’s eyes with tears. Small talk is safer, Riza reminded herself.

“How’s Winry? How are things with you two?”

Ed’s face turned red hot, a blush even more aggressive than the tone that painted his cheeks when he was young.

“Well, I told her how I felt… sort of.”

“That’s great! How did it go?”

Ed cringed inwardly at himself, searching for the right answer to her question, shifting his gaze downward, back to his tea. Even if he flubbed the confession’s delivery, all things considered, It could have gone worse.

“It went alright… She told me how she felt, too.” Riza smiled, clearly unaware of how much suffering Ed was enduring at the moment, but he smiled to himself despite it. He took some comfort in reminding himself that Riza, and anyone else, would never have to know how silly he sounded. That was between him, Winry, and the train platform.

Lucky for him, he had the perfect counter, the best way to reverse the tension. He’d already gotten the answer that his sentimentality sent him in search of.

Now that he’d been reminded again of the embarrassment he felt in front of Hawkeye years ago, now that he was out from under Mustang’s command, it hit his brain like the perfect storm–an opportunity for a kind of mischief he had yet to grow too old for.

“Anyway, speaking of that,” Ed cleared his throat and leaned in, a posture meant to convey a careful approach, a clandestine discussion. He had to ham it up a bit to get his point across, after all. “How are things with you and Mustang?”

“What?” Blood rushed to Riza’s cheeks, and Ed noticed the way her arms clung to her sides as her hands remained in her lap–movement implying clenched fists, and her nerves bubbling to the surface. Bingo.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she followed, regaining her composure. It was an obvious attempt to save face, but still somewhat successful at that. It was Hawkeye he was dealing with, after all. She wouldn’t slip so easily.

“Relax! It’s not like I’m gonna snitch on you two. I’m not a dog of the military anymore, remember?”

She was silent, still, in stubborn defiance. Perhaps this would be tougher than he thought, but Ed was patient. He had nowhere to be that evening, and plenty of time to kill. He’d been driven by the inkling he felt to repay Riza for the good deed she did for him back then, but he realized he also craved a little payback for his humiliation, a childish urge he wanted to sate, even at the expense of an old confidant like her.

“Look, it’s just that I can tell you two care about each other, that’s all. Anyone around you can see that. You should tell him how you feel.”

Ice cold. Nothing. She calmly looked toward her hands in her lap, then toward Hayate, who sat on the ground next to her. She glanced up at the clock on the wall, and then shifted her stoic gaze back toward him, still unbroken.

“I mean, I did see the way he looked at you on the Promised Day. Scar did too. Can you blame me for asking? I just hope it’s not too soon to bring it up.”

She still kept her lips sealed. Stonefaced, she checked the clock again. Ed recognized a hint of a grimace in her expression despite her attempts to cover it up. He considered his options for ammunition. What might cause Hawkeye to break? What dirt did he have on her and Mustang?

He needed to tread lightly, but he wasn’t giving up this game of chicken he’d started–or, from his perspective, that Riza initiated years ago when she teased him about Winry.

“I’ve always been curious about all that drama between you two in the tunnel too, remember? About your ‘secrets?’” He laughed, hopeful it might diffuse some of the tension, invite her to join in on the fun, anything, but when he glanced up at her again, her eyes shot daggers at him. “You spoke to each other like old friends.”

He just wanted her to say something, anything, in response to his teasing, to leave with some measly can of beans to spill. It would be hilarious, after all, to show up in Xing, triumphantly, with some gossip to share with Al and May. No one would appreciate it quite like those two.

She was still silent, though, amid the din of the ticking clock, the loudest thing in the room. He’d underestimated her ability to keep her lips sealed, as though he’d forgotten about her decorated military tenure, her status as the model soldier.

Screw it, he thought. It was time to return to lower blows, after all, that was his specialty.

“There’s not a chance that he’s giving you some kind of special treatment, is there?”

“Stop it, Ed.” Finally, a bite. He didn’t know quite what he was looking for, but he knew that any reaction out of her would be hard-won. He leaned in again, his tone obviously playful, but threatening nonetheless. She had to know he was only joking, right?

“Perhaps the Commander’s real motive for rising through the ranks is so that he can change the anti-fraternization law–”

“Edward Elric.” The Captain raised her voice, remaining stern. His name came from her lips like a threat on his life, the knockback of her voice surging through his ears, “If you know what’s good for you, you won’t dare utter another word against the Commander.”

She glared at him, and his life flashed before his eyes. He realized now that he had a more thorough understanding of her reputation than he’d ever had before, even after her stories about Ishval–so this was what it truly felt like to be caught in the Hawk’s sights.

He’d only ever seen one other person on the receiving end of such intensity from her. Perhaps belittling their professional aspirations was taking it too far, even if it was just to get a rise out of her.

“It’s getting late.” She stood up, turning around to look at the clock again. “I have to be up early tomorrow.”

“Ahh, you’re right. I have a train to catch, too, don’t I?” he said, punctuated by another laugh, fraught with tender nerves.

He felt a pang in his chest, weighed down by some kind of heaviness. He felt bad for pushing the conversation so far, and especially for bringing up what he’d witnessed between on the Promised Day.

Ed only seemed to know how to say what he meant through some grand metaphor connected to something he actually understood, like on the train platform with Winry, or through teasing and poking fun at the people he cared for. When he tried to talk about love, he was like a shaky compass needle, nervously wobbling its way toward its chosen direction.

He thought all he’d wanted was to get some playful revenge against Riza, to give her a taste of her own medicine, but it hit him then and there how little he knew of her life, despite the feeling that something like mutual understanding was present between them, like roots from separate plants that had become twisted up in each other beneath the soil.

Most of all, he just wanted to return the favor of the reminder that Riza had given him back then about Winry–a reminder to love what you have left while you still can.

Because Ed knew that she was right when she said she understood how he felt. Because he understood how she felt, too.

He just didn’t know how to say it without, well, tarnishing the Commander’s reputation and making himself the target of Riza’s pent-up rage, or making presumptive comments about the nature of their relationship. He was never good at being subtle, but he could try if it meant getting his point across.

“One more question before I go, Captain.” She looked at him as if she was quietly pleading with him to go easy on her, to not pelt her with any more career-ending accusations.

“What is it, Ed?”

“How did you know I loved Winry back then? Did you see some of yourself in me then, too?”

Riza smiled. Her expression was soft, like Ed had finally managed to say the right thing, with just enough of the implication he’d sought to make, neatly obscured beneath the surface.

Then, it came, rattling out like the contents of some pandora’s box that only Ed would be stupid enough to open: a knock at the door, and the brash, melodious voice of Ed’s least favorite person in Amestris.

“Captain?” the familiar voice sang from behind the door, hushed enough that a neighbor wouldn’t hear, but not so much that Ed could miss it from where he stood against the door, “Sorry to keep you waiting.”

Riza’s face turned red hot, and Ed was sure that her blushy glow was more vibrant than the color that painted his cheeks earlier. Now, he’d truly won.

Her eyebrow twitched, and Ed felt his blood boil in anticipation of her rage, but she held back again.

“Good evening, Edward. Safe travels.” Victory against Hawkeye was bound to come with its drawbacks, but Ed knew he wouldn’t be the one to experience the aftermath. Riza opened the door with a swift pull and grabbed him by the shoulders, expertly shoving him out and into the hall. The door slammed behind him.

“Fullmetal?” Roy said, looking at Ed like was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

“Mustang.” Ed was on the floor, and he was sure his ass hadn’t made it through the ordeal unbruised. He supposed he’d earned it, for how far he was able to push Hawkeye.

“What brings you here?” Roy looked puzzled, but Ed could tell he was less suspicious of him than he was worried for himself, or worried about the questions Ed might ask him.

What brought him there, after all? There he was–just outside of Hawkeye’s apartment, at such a late hour, in such a casual manner. He held a paper bag that was the perfect size for carrying a bottle of wine.

“I was just repaying the Captain for something she did for me a long time ago, that’s all. I have to be going. See you!”

Roy looked at him like the answer wasn’t satisfying enough for him, but Ed had to be getting the hell out of dodge and leaving Mustang to deal with the fallout of his goading.

“See you, Fullmetal,” Roy said, but Ed was almost out of earshot.

He faintly heard another knock, and as he was making his way down the stairs at the end of the hall, he could have sworn he heard the door slam closed again.

When he made it down to the street, he looked up at the window on the second floor and saw the curtains drawn in careful communion, refusing to betray whatever might be going on behind closed doors.

Which, he was sure from his encounter moments ago only included a very clueless Commander Mustang getting reamed out by a very embarrassed Captain Hawkeye.

But maybe it wasn’t so bad. Afterward, they might have a glass of wine, and Riza might finally tell Roy how she feels, thinking that if Ed could do it, maybe she could do it too.

He wondered if the pair of them were growing a bit more careless as they grew older, what with Hawkeye allowing Ed to linger a little too late, only to see Mustang arrive at such a scandalous hour.

They must have been getting soft. Or rather, he hoped that they were. Some little part of him thought they’d earned that much–some softness for themselves, even if it has to be kept under wraps.

He made his way, slow and meandering, back to the hotel he stayed in when he was down an arm, down a brother’s body, and still yet to fully arrive where he would become rooted.

As he strolled down the main drag of the bustling city, he considered it–how the people passing by were just like him, how the paths they shared in passing might bring an opportunity for understanding.

Though his roots were, more often than not, still in Resembool, he took comfort in knowing that he had people in each corner of Amestris who understood him, who’d been touched by him. He took comfort in the little gifts that his journey gave him before he’d even arrived at his destination.

#fmasecretsanta #fma secret santa #royai #edward elric #roy mustang #riza hawkeye #fma #fmab #fullmetal alchemist

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