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shina913 · 2 years

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The Boyfriend Experience | KNJ

The Boyfriend Experience: Namjoon

The BFE: Masterlist

Pairing: Escort!Namjoon x Fem!Reader

Rating: M 🔞

Genre: sex!work_AU; smut; PWP

Warnings: legal sex work (in this AU); sex for hire; cussing; explicit sexual conversations; soft!dom Namjoon; alcohol consumption; public sexual activities; dirty talk; exhibitionism; fingering; clit play; riding; breast play; heavy petting; protected sex

Word count: 6.6K words

Summary: 💬 It felt very similar to an actual date, as if we’d come back to my place after a dating app meet-up – except the part about me slipping him cash in an envelope, of course. The intimacy happened naturally. He didn’t ask me for directions on how to turn me on, I just let him do his thing.

A/N: Okay so, still having a rough couple weeks and just getting back into the swing of writing--and actually finishing--something. I think I was feeling a burnt out from work and just posting back to back to back so taking a month off was helpful. I'm just happy to finish something--another gratuitous PWP, no less 😂

Semi-beta'd so please excuse typos and redundancies!

Happy Birthday, Namjoonie! 🎉

‼️IMPORTANT: Although the narration will include Namjoon's name, OC/Reader will not address him as so because she booked him under an assumed alias. Weird, I know but--let's just go with it 😉

Your sneakers squeaked across the hard, marble surface as you barreled through the entrance. You were late for your date, mentally kicking yourself for answering your work phone during the weekend. It was just supposed to be a quick sign-off at the office–but nope! One task rolled into another, and next thing you knew, you had no time to go home and get dolled up.

You’d have to settle for your shirt-dress and sneakers–a far cry from the pantsuits and pencil skirts that you wore on the daily. At least you showered before you left your condo.

A few more steps in and you finally spot him, standing next to a banner that showcased the featured exhibit. Although, if anybody asked you, you’d sooner say that he could pass for an exhibit as well…except you’d prefer a private showing instead.

“Hi!” You greeted him from afar.

Namjoon smiled, looking up from the museum brochure that he held. A flash of his dimple, already making you feel flustered. “Hello! It’s good to see you again.”

You smiled as you stopped right in front of him. “It’s good to see you, too.”

You reach out for a handshake but he goes in for a hug. It takes you by surprise, but it’s a welcome one. This date was already off to a great start.

He was tall with cropped hair and golden skin–just as you remembered him from your introductory meeting, or–’mini-date’. Instead of the tailored suit he had on that evening, he was dressed more casually today. Still, he looked unbearably handsome. Those gentle features–only intensified by the heart-stopping smile that he beamed. And those dimples? Lord. They gave him that boyish but equally sexy charm that would make anyone weak in the knees.

“I hope you’ll forgive me. I’m not usually late but–I had a last-minute emergency at work and I had to take care of that.” You pull away from each other but his hand still lingers on your arm, squeezing it gently before it falls away. It felt…nice. He smelled nice, too.

“No big deal. And you haven’t offended me so–there’s nothing to forgive. I would have met you anywhere you needed me. I hope you didn’t feel rushed or anything.

“No, no. I really should have just ignored the call but…duty calls so…” you shrugged.

“Well…I know you said that you wanted a change of pace. I hope this is okay?”

It was certainly different from what you were used to. Typically, you arrange dates to meet up at a restaurant, a bar…or just cut to the chase and go straight to a hotel room.

“When we first spoke, you said that you liked museums and urban hikes. I thought it sounded like a great idea since I’ve done neither on any of my previous dates.”

“Neither have I,” he laughs. “My uh…dates are…usually predictable,” he smiled sheepishly.

“O-oh…Is that so?” You couldn’t help but feel inquisitive.

Realizing his mistake, he tries to correct it immediately. “I didn’t mean like that. I just meant–I’ve never gone on dates where the client gave me full control of…our activities.”

When you first met at the restaurant, he didn’t go all in with the hard-sell–unlike previous dates you’d had. He was soft-spoken and quite enigmatic. If this were any different date, you’d think he was being cagey and you’d immediately run in the other direction.

But there was something about him that reeled you in. Part of it was the thrill of uncovering that mystery.

And who were you kidding? Who could resist those dimples? And those eyes? It really was all very effortless for him.

During your mini-date, he asked you what you wanted out of the experience. And you told him for once–you wanted to relinquish control. Day in and day out, you were the decision-maker. You called the shots. It works out great at your day job, but every now and then, you thought it would be nice not to have that responsibility.

Your request was for him to plan a whole day around you. You established your hard limits, which he carefully noted. Typically, the escorts would let clients dictate how the date would go–the choice was yours. But you were tired of ‘typical’. So, your choice–was not to make choices for the day. It was uncharted territory but there was an element of excitement to it.

“Shall we?” He gestures down a hall and you follow him. He waits for your steps to fall in sync with his.

You started down one corridor, which held the featured artist’s early paintings. You’d heard of the artist before–he’s had historic murals installed within the city. One of them was on loan to the museum to round out the whole collection, which was deemed to be the largest in decades–or, at least, that’s what the brochure said.

When you stopped in front of one painting or showed any remote interest in one, he would start talking about the story behind it and point out small details such as the varying brush strokes. He even talks about the evolving style and other artists who influenced it.

He stood right beside you and you couldn’t help but study him some more. Even in a position as benign as standing, he exuded primal confidence. “This is one of my favorites.” His deep voice resonated, inciting a restless energy in your legs. You shifted where you stood, trying to ignore the growing need between your thighs.

Art didn’t interest you very much but hearing him talk about it emphatically and with so much enthusiasm–you wished you spent more time in museums–as long as he was there to talk you through every piece.

******

“Do you do this often?”

“Do what?”

“Tour museums.”

He smiles. “Yeah, mostly during my free time. Although, I’ve never taken dates here.”

“Why’s that?”

He lifted a shoulder. “I haven’t had many clients request for this specific date. They usually just want dinner or drinks. Sometimes, we’ll go to a scheduled event. Museums aren’t usually…fun.” He eyes you carefully as he stops in front of a portrait on display.

“I don’t see why this wouldn’t be considered a fun activity.” You tilt your head to the side to admire the portrait straight ahead. You could see him still staring at you from your peripheral vision.

“Some people don’t think it’s stimulating enough.” His voice was low and raspy.

You turn your head to the side to face him. “Hm. I beg to differ.”

And there it was again, that enigmatic smile. It excited you to think about what else he had in store for your date today.

******

After about two hours of marveling at paintings, you decided to take a break at the museum’s cafe for a light meal.

“Have you always enjoyed art?”

“Oh god, no!” He says emphatically. “No, this hobby is relatively new to me. I always thought museums were the most boring places. Until, I had a client take me to an event that was in one. I arrived a bit early just to familiarize myself with the place and…I found the exhibit really interesting that day.”

A moment later, he clears his throat and turns the conversation back to you. “But enough about me. Let’s talk about you.”

Although he sat across from you at the museum cafe, the tone of his voice made it feel like he was right beside you, whispering in your ear. It was a miracle how you managed to keep it together this whole time when all you wanted was him to punish you for some undetermined misbehavior.

You uncrossed your legs, only to switch sides and cross them again–the pressure providing a pathetic amount of relief to the searing ache that built up within you.

In an effort to remain nonchalant about it, you lean in slightly and propped your elbow on the table, cupping your chin on your hand. “What about me?”

“Well…I know that this isn’t your first experience,” he says, referring to booking escorts. “Why have you decided to change things around?”

You sighed wistfully. “I’m a ball-buster…on a daily basis. It’s my job.” You looked down, fidgeted with your glass, swiping your finger at the condensation that had built up on the outside.

“As soon as I show the slightest hint of weakness or start wavering, they��d start looking at me differently. Some people go to spas, some people turn to alcohol to unwind and let loose…” You paused to peer up at him. “I book escorts,” you say simply.

“Dating wasn’t doing it for you?”

Dating could be so cumbersome…and you’ve tried. You even tried one of those hookup apps. And while it was fun at first, it wasn’t entirely attachment-free.

Which is why you turned to escorts. It was anonymous and no-frills. The best of both worlds. You’ve booked a few ‘freelancers’ in the past…even having a couple of regular standbys. But after a while, the meetups and hookups started to feel a little stale. And since these guys had a two-three hour limit, you needed a good shakeup.

One of your longtime friends, who was a bored housewife, referred you to a very particular escort service. It was an exclusive club and you had to be referred by a current member to gain access.

You laughed. “I don’t have the patience to date…at least, not at the moment. Even the occasional hookup takes…effort. I happen to have specific needs that I want fulfilled quickly and hiring escorts takes the guesswork out of that.”

“And what is it that you need? Apart from something ‘different’ than what you normally get from other escorts?”

This was one of the things you enjoyed about escorts. They’re intent on getting to know more about you and what you like. They’re hard-wired to please their clients, to make sure that they keep coming back for more. That was their business, but at the end of the day, it was a judgment-free zone. And you appreciated that you can be honest about what you wanted and how you wanted it done.

“I just want to be handled.” You say to him frankly, without breaking eye contact.

He smiled. “And you think I’m the one who can take care of business for you?”

While scrolling through their app, Namjoon’s profile intrigued you, right off the bat. It was something in the look in his eyes that pulled you in. And your conversation during your initial meeting sealed the deal for you.

“Well…can you?” You already knew the answer but still wanted to challenge him.

He smiles cockily but doesn’t answer your question, but still stays on topic. “So, you like to be dominated every now and then?” He asks, based on what he’s read from your profile.

You relax your shoulders, leaning back in your seat. “In a way? But, on my own terms.”

He chuckled at your bossiness. “Hard habit to break?”

You smiled. “It’s…difficult to explain.”

“No, I get it, I think?” He smirked, mirroring your seating position, regarding you. “You’re used to having control over your job…your life. Once in a while, you want to let go a little bit…let things happen–but in a way where you still get to have a say in it. Is that pretty close?”

It sounded strange when he verbalized it–but that was exactly it. Being in control gets so exhausting. But you were human. You needed a safe space to allow yourself to be soft–without compromising your identity.

“To put it bluntly, yes.”

He smiles, looking pleased with himself. He glances at his watch, then at you. “Are you ready for our next stop?”

“Sure! Where to?”

“There’s a museum in the middle of the park that holds weekly themed events at night. Have you heard about it?”

You shook your head. “That seems unusual. A night at the museum? Do the exhibits come to life or something?”

He cocked an eyebrow then chuckled softly at your attempt at humor. “No…but I promise you, it’s still going to be as exciting, I’ll tell you that much.”

Your mouth falls open in shock. “Really?”

He nods gently.

You purse your lips, the mystery killing you. “Will you give me a hint?”

“And ruin the surprise?” He shook his head, taking a sip of his water.

You give him your best puppy eyes, trying to quietly appeal to him. But he stares back at you quietly, unyielding.

You decide to push your luck a bit and bat your eyelashes at him. “Please?”

At the sound of that, he flexed his jaw and leaned in closer to you. You’d never seen anything hotter. He lowered his voice, deciding to throw you a bone.

“Let’s just say…you’ll be saying that word a lot when we get there.”

That made you gulp audibly.

He grins mischievously. “C’mon, we should get going before it gets too crowded there.”

******

He wasn’t kidding about this place. You’ve driven past it before but dismissed it as another Natural History Museum and Aquarium. After years in this city, you never thought to come here during the day–much less at night.

After checking in to get your tickets scanned by the entrance. Namjoon tells you that this event is for guests aged 21 and over only. A guest services staff checks your IDs–you look away when he presents his and he does the same when you present yours. Careful to protect both your identities.

“Thank you both. Welcome to Night Life!” The staff says enthusiastically.

You walk through the glass doors. You crane your neck and scan the main hall. It doesn’t even look like a museum. Sure, there were signs leading to some exhibits and directions to the aquarium. Neon LED lights illuminated the space. There was a DJ booth whose music blasted through large speakers that were situated in strategic corners. There were cocktail carts with patrons lining up to get their drinks. It was practically a club!

“Wow–this is…different,” you remarked, still marveling at the space.

“You said you wanted ‘different’ so…” He trailed off.

Ask and you shall receive. Even though he planned this whole afternoon around things that he liked doing, he was still intent on pleasing you.

The service promised ‘satisfaction guaranteed.’ So far, you have yet to be disappointed.

“Looks fun!” You beamed in excitement.

“C’mon, let’s get you a drink,” he urges while you walk towards the closest mini-bar by the entrance.

******

Tonight’s theme was centered on wildlife photography. The museum had some guests of honor, famous photographers and documentarians who exhibited their work, which was also available for purchase.

You walked around, admiring the portraits. Very different from paintings and sculptures from your earlier museum trip, but no less interesting.

You ventured down to the lower level, where the aquarium was situated. High-top tables were spread out around the space but they left more than enough room for guests to move and admire the various exhibits.

You both stopped in front of one, which was situated in a quiet corner. Although most of the guests crowded around the jellyfishes, coral reef, and stingray exhibits–which were in larger tanks, this smaller tank fascinated you.

“Leafy seadragons. Pretty cool, huh?”

You hummed. “They’re beautiful. I’ve never seen anything like them.” These sea creatures moved slowly and gracefully in the water. It was like a seahorse but with a more fabulous outfit.

“They’re so…hypnotic,” you say distractedly.

He looked sideways at you, eyeing you intently. “When you booked me, you said it was because you wanted a different experience?”

“Yes, I did.” You cocked your head to the side, examining the exhibit for a few seconds before turning your attention back to him.

“Honestly, I was tired of the usual booking. Dinner, drinks, followed by sex–not that I’m complaining but….” You lifted a shoulder. “It gets pretty boring after a while,” you say flatly. “I thought I’d explore a bit more.”

He regarded you intently. “You know, this is the first time that a client has told me to plan out the date. I have to admit, I was pretty excited about it.”

That makes two of you.

“I wanted a change of pace. The men I’ve hired–they’re great and I liked them–for whatever purpose they served but…at a certain point, I wanted a bit more out of the dates.”

“Hmm…is this date ticking all of your boxes so far?”

He sidled up to you. The scent of his cologne hitting your senses. He didn’t bathe in it–unlike the other guys. It was subtle, but still potent enough to make you feel off-balance.

“Not all of it.” You stared at him hungrily. “There’s one more box that I haven’t quite determined yet.”

He smirked. “If you’re relying on your statistics, wouldn’t you think I’d have already fulfilled everything you wanted out of this experience?”

You smirked back at him. “Well, unlike you, I’m not big on guessing games or theories. I’m more of a—what’s the word—pragmatic? And I like to experience things firsthand before I come to my own conclusion.”

“Oh, is that right? You’d like to come to your own conclusion?”

“Yes.” You try not to sound too breathless.

“Hm. That’s fair.”

You sighed softly. “Because how would I know…what I don’t know? And I don’t trust hearsay.”

“I couldn’t agree more. So, when would you like to rectify that?” His hand crept up the small of your back and started drawing soft, circular patterns on it.

“As soon as possible. I’d hate to pay overtime if I don’t need to.”

“You won’t need to. One thing about me is that I’m very efficient. I prioritize quality…over quantity.” You turned your head to the side to find his face inches away from yours. “But…I can fulfill both, if you want.” He purred.

“Yes...”

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, that’s what I want,” you swallowed hard.

A smile ghosted his lips. He looked sideways for a brief moment then turned his hot gaze back to you. “Would you like a prelude?”

Your breath caught in your throat. Before you could answer, he backs you into a corner that you weren’t even aware of until now.

The barely lit, constricting space makes you feel a little bit panicked, but also excited.

“What if someone sees us?”

“Nobody will see us. I made sure of that,” he replied confidently. His hand gripped one side of your hip firmly, his fingers flexing, as if testing your limits.

You tilt your chin up, inching closer to his face. “You look like you’ve done this before,” you say breathily.

He dipped his head lower, his mouth a hair’s breadth away from you. “And if I have, would you care?”

His lips brushed behind your ear. One of his hands pressed flat to your stomach, the fingers splaying to urge you deeper into the corner. He was as aroused as you were, his cock already hard against your thigh.

You’d never gotten frisky in public–but that didn’t mean that it was a hardline for you. All you needed was the right partner for it.

Your hand slid down, past his waist, grazing his crotch. “As long as you know what you’re doing, I don’t really care.”

He lifted his head at your boldness and stared you down. You stared back at him in the dim light and nipped at his lower lip.

He groaned and sealed his mouth over yours. His lips were firm but exerted gentle pressure. You sighed and his tongue dipped inside. His kiss was confident, right on-brand with what he’s shown you so far…and it had the right amount of aggression that turned you on wildly.

He cupped the back of your head and the curve of your ass, giving it a firm squeeze. “If you want to stop at any point, just say so, YN. Do you understand?” He murmured past your lips.

You nodded.

“Say it,” he ordered.

“Yes. I understand.”

He caught your lips again, hand gliding past the hem of your dress and right up between your legs where he parted you with his fingers. He slid one finger into you, making you inhale sharply at the sensation.

He smiled through your kisses, pulling out then pushed back in with two fingers. You did your best to hold back a moan but a pathetic whine escaped your lips.

“Oh my god…” You were panting for him, your hips circling shamelessly onto his thrusting fingers. You felt like you’d lose your mind if he didn’t get you off.

You’d never been so turned on in your life. If anyone walked right past you right then and found you writhing in this corner while finger-fucked you, you wouldn’t care. You just wanted to cum.

“Do you want to hear all the ways I can please you, YN?” He holds one of your legs up with his free hand and rests it on his hip to spread you wider for him. Your cunt rippled around his stroking fingers, the rawness of his words pushing you to the brink.

He was breathing hard, too. His face was flushed, eager to give you what you needed, what you craved.

“I can do anything…everything you ask me to.” Hearing you whine softly, he takes your mouth again, swallowing the rest of your moans while his fingers pumped in and out of you.

Your insides pulsed erratically at the onslaught, that familiar feeling, surging within your belly. He withdrew his fingers and palmed your sex, rubbing rhythmic circles around your clit. You bucked your hips against his hand shamelessly, absolutely lost in the moment.

The music pumped through the speakers, swelling with a heavy bassline that thumped against your chest. One final stroke of his hand had you groaning into his mouth, your body stiffening as searing pleasure ripped right through you.

Your neck goes lax and you collapse on his shoulder, trying to catch your breath. You could feel his heart pounding against your chest.

“Fuck, you make the sexiest noises…I’m going to have so much fun with you tonight,” he chuckles darkly.

******

You waited until the coast was clear, giving him a few minutes to get his raging hardon down. Truth be told, you didn’t mind if he fucked you right then. But you were paying him a premium price…and you wanted to enjoy him to the fullest, preferably with all of his clothes off.

You called a car to head straight to the hotel where you booked a room for the night. You never took guys back into your home–it was too risky–didn’t matter how hot they were.

You continued to make out in the backseat. The driver, bless his heart, did his best to look away while you both sighed and giggled like horny teenagers.

When you arrived at the entrance, you tipped him generously as you and Namjoon practically sprinted past a crowded lobby and towards the bank of elevators. Thankfully, the hotel allowed you to check in earlier today. You didn’t think you’d be able to endure another second without his body pressed up against you.

You stumbled out of the elevators and staggering down the hall to your room. It was a challenge trying to untangle yourself from him. As you fumbled for the hotel keycard in your purse, his lips were on your neck, hands snaking up your dress. You hurried to pull the card out or you’d risk him fucking you out in the hallway.

The door clicks open and you both barrel into the room, his mouth shifting up to your lips to taste you again. Distantly, you hear him kick the door shut, continuing to back you further to the bedroom.

He spins you around, your back pressed against him, caging you while his hand roams all around your front. Squeezing your breast with one, the other rubbing at your clothed pussy.

You threw your head back in low moan as he nipped at your neck, grinding his hard cock between your ass cheeks.

Boy, did he know how to make a woman feel good…and abso-fucking-lutely aroused.

Somehow, you found yourself right by the foot of the bed. He spins you around again and pushes you softly, making you fall to the mattress. The hem of your dress scandalously hiked up past your waistline.

He hisses at the sight of your laced panties, so you decide to push his buttons. You pull your dress up over your head, leaving you laid up in your underwear. You reach back and unclasp your bra, tossing it to the side.

He bit his lower lip, as if fighting the animalistic urge to completely devour you.

Keeping his eyes trained on you, he unbuttoned his shirt, painfully slowly–before his fingers moved to undo his jeans in the same, controlled manner.

Your body practically vibrated with anxiety–beating you at your own game.

You grunted. “We don’t have all night, you know,” you said through gritted teeth while you watched his hand go past his boxer-briefs’ waistband, stroking his length beneath it.

“I know,” he says simply.

Your mouth was watering, you wanted him to take you, five minutes ago!

You scooched back further on the bed, lifted your hips to rid yourself of your panties. You spread your legs wide to entice him. “What are you waiting for then?”

“For you.”

You threw your head back in frustration and flatten your back on the mattress, staring at the ceiling. “What are you talking about? I’m ready!” You whine petulantly.

“I know that.” He pulled a condom out of his pants pocket.

“So, fuck me now!”

There was a beat of silence in the room, filled by the sound of your heaving breaths.

“You have to ask nicely first,” he says evenly.

You sat back up quickly at the sound of that. He was naked in front of you now, your core clenching involuntarily at the sight of him. He cocked his eyebrow at you until realization sets in and you recall your conversation from this afternoon.

You took a deep breath to dull the pounding in your chest.

“Please,” you say quietly.

“I can’t hear you.” He teases you further, slipping the condom casually down his length. Your mouth went dry.

You cleared your throat. This was what you wanted–to loosen the reins, give up control for a bit…and be dominated…on your own terms.

“Please,” you say a little louder.

“Please…what?”

“Please…Fuck. Me.” You enunciated every word for him.

He grinned wickedly, crawling up the mattress towards you, like a predator zeroing in on its prey. “That’s a good girl.”

You were pressed full-body against him, achingly aware of every hot, hard inch of him. You kissed him back, tasting him. Savoring him. Your skin was damp and way too sensitive, your breasts heavy and tender. Your clit throbbed for attention, the pounding reaching up to your ears along with your raging heartbeat.

He was levered over you, his arm supported his torso while his right hand gripped the back of your knee, sliding upward along your thigh in a firm glide.

A low rumble vibrated in his chest, the primitive sound sending goosebumps coursing through your pores.

In a daze, you watched Namjoon’s body lower, your legs sliding apart to accommodate the width of his hips. Your muscles strained with the urge to lift toward him, to hasten the contact between you that you’d been craving since he fingered you at the museum. Lowering his head, he took your mouth…hard, bruising your lips in the process.

You pulled on his silky strands, making him growl while your kisses deepened, stroking your tongue with lush licks of his own. You felt the same intense pounding of his heart against your chest, proof that he was right in this same moment with you.

“I want you so much,” you breathed out in between kisses. “What are you doing to me?”

“I’m going to make you cum over…and over…’til you beg me to stop.”

“Fuck, yes,” You muttered, aware that you weren’t offended. In fact, the rawness of his hunger for you was a serious aphrodisiac.

“Let me in, then.”

You very eagerly reached between you, reaching for his cock. Spreading wider for him you rubbed the tip against your slick folds. The contact would have made you orgasm at the friction but you preferred to cum while he was inside you.

You guided him to your center, gasping at the way he parted your flesh. He pushed in gently, causing your eyes to roll to the back of your head.

“You okay?”

“Yes,” you respond while your walls adjust to the stretch. “More…please.”

His jaw hardened. He pulled out slightly then slid his cock back in, pushing deeper. Your mouth falls open while he fills you to the brim.

“Ffuuckkk…” you dragged out, digging your nails into his biceps.

“You’re so tight…”

“You’re just huge,” you countered.

He chuckled devilishly, flashing that damned dimple at you. Tightening his hold, he starting fucking you, nailing your hips to the mattress with deep, fierce thrusts. Pleasure rippled through you again, pushing through you with every drive of his body.

He buried his face in your neck and held you tightly in place, fucking you hard and fast, whispering raw, sex-crazed words that drove you to absolute insanity.

“You feel me deep in you, huh? I can feel it against my stomach…my dick pounding into you.”

You’d give him this round. You made small, helpless sounds of want while his mouth ate yours. You were desperate for him, nails digging into his ass, struggling to meet his thrusts with your own.

“Come on, baby…” he ordered. “Cum for me now…”

You climaxed in such a rush that had you babbling incoherently, the sensation elevated by the way he’d possessed your body. He threw his head back, shuddering at the feel of your insides pulsating and gripping at him tightly.

Still trying to piece your brain back from your orgasm, you vaguely register him pulling out of you, making you wince.

Lifting you, he moved you, shifting your positions so that his back was to the headboard and you spread over him. Your bodies sliding against each other with a generous layer of sweat.

“Do you want to take your control back?”

Your breath hitched. While you enjoyed begging him to do things to you, you couldn’t fight the urge to take some of that power back for yourself.

“Yes,” you answered, definitely.

With your knees on either side of his hips, you straightened your spine, making you tower over him now.

Leaning back further, he stretched his arms on either side of him. “Go ahead and take it, then.”

You ran your hands down his chest, relishing the hardness of his muscles. Your fingers traced the ridges of his pectorals, his abdomen…your own personal, interactive art exhibit right in front of you.

You rocked your hips against him, stroking yourself with the hard length of his cock. His breath hissed out between clenched teeth.

“Don’t tease me–put me back in,” he practically demanded.

Now it was your turn to torture him. “Payback’s a bitch, isn’t it?”

He cupped your face and pressed his lips hard against yours. You reached down to stroke his length–the condom, covered in your slick.

He tensed but didn’t stop you. He handed control back to you. He closed his eyes and groaned at the delicious punishment you were giving to him. The sounds he made were both pained and erotic to you. You squeezed him gently, your touch deliberately tender as you sized him with your hands. You slid both of your fists up his length from root to tip, your breath catching when he shuddered beneath you.

Namjoon gripped your thighs, his hands sliding upwards until his thumbs grazed your taut nipples. He pinched and tugged at them, making you moan into his mouth.

“I can beg, too, if that’s what it takes to be inside you again,” he murmured into your mouth.

“Say it.” You stroked him with one hand.

One of his thumbs slid beneath you, the pad sliding through the slickness of your dripping core. “Please, YN…Fuck me,” he said so clearly, his eyes gleaming at you.

Your cheeks heated. The evenness of his tone sent a burst of confidence through you.

Setting your hands on his shoulders for balance, you lifted onto your knees, rising to gain the height you needed to hover over the tip of his cock. His hands gripped your hips, steadying you.

His hardness brushed past your inner thighs as he moved and you whimpered, so aching and empty, as if the orgasms he’d given you earlier had only aggravated your craving rather than sated it.

He tensed when you wrapped your fingers around him and positioned him, tucking the wide head against the saturated folds. The scent of sex was heavy and kicked the room’s temperature up several notches–it was a dizzying mix of need and pheromones that awakened every inch of you.

“God. YN,” he gasped as you lowered onto him, his hands flexing restlessly on your thighs.

You closed your eyes briefly. When you opened them, you were eye-to-eye, only inches apart.

“Move for me, please.” His gasped words were threaded with a hint of delicious agony.

He didn’t need to ask twice. Your hips rolled of their own volition.

He reached down, massaged your clit with the pad of his thumb, rubbing slow, expert circles. Your core tightened and clenched tightly around him in a vice-like grip. He was so agonizingly gorgeous, lying beneath you, watching you take what you wanted from him.

His neck arched, fighting to restrain himself from barrelling his hips against you. “Ah, fuck…you feel so good,” he bit out, his teeth grinding.

He was so deep you could hardly stand it, forcing you to shift from side to side, trying to ease the unexpected bite of discomfort with his size. But your body didn’t seem to care that he was too big. Your cunt took him greedily–as if it couldn’t get enough. Your walls rippled around him, squeezing…on the verge of orgasm.

Unable to contain himself any further, Namjoon cursed under his breath, held on to your hip with one hand, urging you to lean back with the other, as his chest heaved. You stretched your arms back, holding onto his thighs for support and leverage.

You opened up wider, taking more of him in. Your belly fluttered at how much deeper he sank, hitting the tip of your cervix, savoring the soreness as he pushed just past your limits.

His hips churned impatiently, meeting your thrusts. You lifted carefully, sliding up a few inches before he stopped you with that ferocious grasp on your hip.

Your eyes locked on each other as the pleasure coursed through your bodies. The sounds that escaped his lips spurred you, as if the pleasure were as unbearable for him as it was for you.

Somewhere along the way, primitive instinct took over you, leaving your body completely in charge. Your sole focus was the urge to fuck him out of his mind, the vicious need to ride him until the tension burst and set you free of this mindless, animalistic hunger.

“Fuck…yes…oh my god…so good,” you mewled, lost to him.

Using both hands, he directed your rhythm, his cock rubbing that tender, aching bundle of nerves inside you. You shook involuntarily, realizing that your orgasm was creeping up quicker than you anticipated.

“Ah, shit–I’m close,” you gasped out.

Leaning forward slightly, he captured you by the nape, pulling you closer to him. Your orgasm exploded through you, starting with deep, throbbing spasms of your core before radiating outward until you shivered all over.

He watched you fall apart, holding your gaze when you would’ve closed your eyes. Possessed by his stare, you cried hoarsely, cumming harder than you ever had, your body jerking with every pulse of your nerves.

He growled, pounding his hips up at you, yanking your hips lower to meet his merciless lunges. He tunneled into you, hitting you with every deep thrust.

You watched him intently, wanting–no, needing to see what it was like when he went over the edge. His eyes were wild, pupils dark and blown out wide…losing their focus as his control melted away, his face marred by the brutal need to climax.

He came with a feral growl…his deep, animalistic groans riveted you with their ferocity. He shook as his orgasm ripped through him, making you clench at the sensation of him spurting into the condom.

You cupped his face, his features softening after riding out his high. You brush your thumb across his lips, a small offering of comfort and intimacy as his stuttered, gasping breaths fanned your face.

He wrapped his arms around you, pressing his damp forehead against yours.

“Wow,” you breathed, shaken.

His lips twitched. “You can say that again.”

You both smiled, feeling dazed and high.

You stayed like that for a minute, holding each other, absorbing the aftershocks. He turned his head and kissed you softly, the gentle strokes of his tongue into your mouth, slowing the pounding in your chest to a steady thrum.

You lifted gingerly off him, biting your lip at the feel of him slipping wetly out of you. The friction was enough to make you want more. But you had to admit, you were spent–fully satisfied.

He disposed of the condom, offering to help clean you up–and you let him. Shortly after, he jumped into the shower.

******

You were in a bathrobe, in the middle of checking your emails when he stepped out of the bathroom, fully dressed again.

“Are you okay?” He asks, as if he hadn’t already checked on you minutes ago.

“Yes I am, thank you,” you replied. “Are you alright?”

He laughed. “I’ll admit, I think I need another minute.”

You smiled while you walked towards where you set your purse down, on the coffee table by the window. While he was in the shower, you picked it up off the floor after you dropped it haphazardly when you were both in the midst of your horny entanglement earlier.

“By the way, I should have given you this sooner.” You reached in to grab an envelope of cash and hand it to him. “I uh–sort of got distracted earlier,” you chuckled sheepishly.

“Well…you and me both,” he laughs, taking his payment. “As long as you don’t tell my boss about it.”

You gestured as if zipping your lips. “He’ll only hear about the good things,” you promised.

“Thank you,” he says, pocketing the money.

“Where are you off to now? Do you have other bookings today?” It wasn’t awkward for you to make smalltalk. It was all business anyway.

“I actually had to reschedule my next client,” he laughed, rubbing the back of his neck while he looked down at his phone that he held with his other hand. “You kind of wore me out. You’re making me rethink my workout regimen.”

You laughed heartily. “That might be a good idea. You’ve got to work on your stamina.” You winked at him before turning to your phone again, clicking at the screen.

His brows furrowed, feeling a little slighted. “Why’s that?

Before he gets an answer, his phone pings with a distinctive alert from his BFE app. When he glances at it to check, the crease between his eyebrows soften when the request pops up on his screen. He looks up at you and grins.

“Because I’m booking you again and I’m gonna need you to keep up with me.”

You’ve reached the end! Thank you so much for reading!

If you loved it, please comment, reblog, or send me feedback! 📩. I love hearing from readers! If you didn’t like it so much, I would still like to hear about it. Help me become a better writer! 💜

Tagging my KNJ hoes: @internetjunkdrawer @deepseavibez @itdoesntmatterwhy @e-cm @reliablemitten @miksancheese

#bts fanfiction #namjoon #namjoon x reader #kim namjoon #bangtanbathhouse #btswritingcafe #btshoneyhive #btscarnivalnet #namjoon smut #bts smut #bts kim namjoon #bts namjoon #bts rm #knj smut #TheBFE x knj

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highfunctioningflailgirl · 10 months

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Holy crap, that was BAD. Especially after all that high praise from Eric Kripke in the foreword about how Rebecca Dessertine is his assistant for the show and knows everything about it. (Spoiler alert: she doesn’t; she doesn’t even know Sam’s correct birth month).

Aside from Dean being barely recognizable in how he acts, talks or feels, this book is simply badly written. Plump, unimaginative sentences with terrible punctuation make the whole thing feel like a rough first draft that was intended to be fleshed out later. And was the editor poofed away by a demon or something? WAS there ever an editor? Missing or redundant words and typos abound. *shudders*

The plot idea isn’t bad, and that’s where that one star comes from. But it all becomes so spotty and illogical and out of character that it ruins the whole ride.

And there was so much potential! In the show, we saw little of that one year Dean spent with Lisa and Ben, and we only got that one line of Dean having been “half off my head with grief, I was drinking too much, and I had nightmares”. This book could have filled in all those blanks - Dean dealing with his grief, adjusting to the “apple pie life”, and Lisa could’ve become more than a way-too-understanding cardboard cut-out character.

But no. Apart from a few lines about Dean’s inner struggle in the very first chapters, we get nothing. No thoughts. Head empty.

We can’t connect emotionally; not with Dean, not with anybody else. Certainly not with soulless Sam who seems to also have lost quite a bit of his smart brain when very INCONSPICUOUSLY *cough* tailing his big brother.

And Lisa remains the ever-forgiving saint who simply puts up with all of Dean’s crap, including almost getting killed twice.

*sigh*

Why do I even keep reading this series! It’s like junk food. I just can’t stop.

Good thing this was the only book written by Dessertine (she also wrote the previous one, but with a co-author, thank God!).

Moving on to the next one, with immense relief.

PS: Dear Rebecca, next time you use the Necronomicon as the central hook for a story, please research what it truly is about. Please.

#spn books #one year gone #rebecca dessertine #supernatural #spn #my reading #book review #guilty pleasure

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elytrafemme · 2 years

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PLEASE talk about writing its so interesting AND yours is awesome so hearing what you think would be so cool thumbsup

OKAY OKAY OKAY you and enderbooenjoyer are enabling me okay okay i'll shove some of this under the cut because i got a LOT to say . just know i'm also a teenager who REALLY likes English i'm not professional or anything the most like knowledgable i'd get in THAT sense is probably non-fiction and i'm not talking about argument writing or op ed writing rn :D

OKAY so the coolest thing to me with writing is perspectives! because i think the perspective of a piece (fictional ofc, this doesn't apply to non fiction :/ but would probably be similar albeit a bit different in a poetic form i would imagine since that has a lot of perspective as well, less observation, ETC.)

i think the most important stuff i've learned about in my writing, too, is how to handle perspectives. i've learned two important things about it:

1) you can personalize someone's POV to their personality and the writing style can actually shift to accomodate this (learned this by reading my friend's works, who does a really good job of this)

2) the perspective of a piece can vary in distance from the actual protagonist (learned THIS at a writing summer program i went to for 3 weeks!)

now both of these are sort of kindred ideas! to elaborate on the latter to expand on the first, the distance from the protagonist in perspective shapes a LOT of how thoughts and observations work! if you have a protagonist who is very DISTANT from the perspective, you could indicate this by having very objective observations, as if those observations were coming from the NARRATOR rather than the PROTAGONIST. another example would be very distinct separation of thoughts from introspection-- usually in italics with a speaker tag or something of the sort! this example can ALSO be stylistic though so i wouldn't really say it HAS to be related to this. conversely, if you have a protagonist who is very CLOSE to the perspective, their observations are colored by their experiences, and their introspection is almost anecdotal in nature, somewhat? their own dialogue quirks ENTER the narration, and it's VERY different from the way that other characters think about things! it makes it really interesting to do this and have several perspectives, because everyone would have very different writing styles! (and, if you want to bring the thought idea back, the thoughts could be imbedded in introspection rather than separated out! again, stylistic, though!)

now let's talk unreliable narrators! i think that if you write something distant from the protagonist, you can still have a lot of unreliabe narration! this sort of banks on some dramatic irony oftentimes, because the dramatic irony established between the narrator and the audience while the protagonist unreliably views the world clues into that unreliableness! it doesn't HAVE to have that though; it can be largely inferred from characters and stuff! GOD unreliable anrration is so cool sorry for the typos i'm getting SO excited okay okay okay. now if the narration/perspective is CLOSE to the protagonist, unreliable narration is pretty different, yet kinda similar-- the reader has to make their own distinctions amidst the perspective! you see their inner thoughts and can sort of see their perspective on the world, but you can make your choice on whether you agree or disagree. and if you have varying perspectives those can all pull together a large worldview

please forgive me for talking about my fanfictions feel free to skip this section, i'll mark it off with italics if you wanna skip me talkinga bout it :)

OKAY so let's start with cough syrup! in cough syrup, the narration is very CLOSE to cs!ranboo and cs!tubbo respectively. (for the sake of not being too redundant, from here on out i am going to just call each character by their name and disregard the tonal indicators after the setting is established.) both of these characters have stylistic differences in their writing, or at least that is the intent! tubbo, to draw back to the whole thoughts topic, has all of his thoughts embedded into his narration. he tangents quite a bit in his introspection, and his own writing quirks come into his perspective! ranboo has his thoughts both included in spirals AND separated by italics, and he tends to notice a lot more details than tubbo does, meaning he could arguably have a more 'complete' perspective, just because both of them are perceptive in different ways-- ranboo notices the people crossing the street across from him, etc. their mental health issues and struggles ALSO add to unreliability, since we see tubbo denying his own mental health issues with dramatic irony established (excluding the establishing i do outside of the narrative) by his own hesitations + other character's perspectives. ranboo forgets details about himself and that builds over time, meaning that the audience has to pull all of that together, because it's not CLEAR what facts are true. i can say for a fact that in ranboo's narration, he says INCORRECT information that he believes is true, and following that narration to him reaching these realizations keeps the audience invested and everything. i don't specify details of the outside world that they wouldn't notice, so those are up to interpretation, and any cues that they miss socially, etc. are missing. if the writing was farther AWAY, their perspectives would sound very similar in writing and everythiing, but instead, ranboo has these LONG paragraphs of rambling introspection and spiraling, while tubbo has more curt thoughts and everything. ranboo says "oh God" in his narratives because he is somewhat a believer; my intent is that tubbo doesn't.

in 'lungs of the universe' etc (long title don't wanna type it) the narration is a LOT farther comparatively! you can still see 30!ranboo's perspective in the narrative, but you also see a lot of more objective observations, just to describe the scene. his speaking style doesn't interfere nearly as much with the actual narration, and this isn't necessarily done for plot purposes, but rather as just a broader stylistic thing! i want there to be a tone set that the environment and situation of ranboo is out of his control, and while cough syrup has almost conversational perspectives that make it easy to read and make everything feel personal, i don't intend the same for lungs of the universe! lungs of the universe is supposed to be impossible, almost theoretical in a sense, and far off! which is why ranboo isn't super personal with the narrative-- it would feel like a recount of a traumatic scenario, which is fine and i explored it in my rp blog, but it isn't really what i want? i want it all to feel like a thought experiment almost. rather than a concrete thing.

cough syrup is grounded in its emotion and realism. lungs of the universe is elevated to its theoreticals, as if it were a documentary playing on a screen. at least, that's my goal. you'll have to tell me if i succeed in that.

i can talk more about my other wips when they come out, but seeing as these are the only two i have, that's just some info about them!

i am absolutely OBSESSED with this stuff, because it's really neat how the smallest details can change the perspective so much, and the perspective can shift the mood and plot! it's in EVERYTHING: how you handle thoughts and whether they're separated or not; how objective the observations are (does it feel like someone recalling a memory with only the most sentimental/important parts, or someone describing a place in as much photographic detail as possible? is it the stuff you would tell someone as you drive past a familiar place, or how you would relatively tell someone to get there?); is their speaking style influencing their observations?; are the inaccuracies shared with the audience, or does the narrator show you where the holes are?; what is the completeness of the narrative held in: the perspective alone, or piecing it all together?; how do they refer to themselves in their perspective (their name, you, i, we, etc.); ETC.

this isn't even TOUCHING on POVs or other things i absolutely LOVE but i just wanted to talk about this because i've been thinking nonstop about it for several months. thank you guys for enabling me with this

#nightmare.ask #nightmare.fave #okay to rb!

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depplosion · 5 years

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Hey guys, you'll never believe this (or maybe you will). I was unfortunate enough to stumble into a far and remote corner of our beloved phandom today, a corner which is dark and full of terrors (and hypocrisy). A sparsely populated little planet, rife with ignorance and limited vision, completely devoid of intelligent life. Perhaps some of you have been there, yourselves. Yes, dear friends, I am referring to the rare sub-species of phan known as the "anti-E/C shippers". They hate Erik, in general, because he is an abuser, which makes all of us (nearly the entire phandom) "abuse apologists". I talked with two such individuals, both of whom took one last dig at me and then blocked me before I had the chance to respond (so mature, right?) Both of whom REFUSE to interact with any of us, because evidently we condone real-life abuse because we stan an abusive fictional character, and ship him with a woman who he abuses. Hmmmkay. Both of whom are a victim of abuse, as am I but go off, I guess..... Oh! And they both said that we are all horrible people (just for the record, some of the best people I've ever met, I've met thanks to PotO), we poison the phandom, nothing we have to contribute enriches it in any way, in short, we are all sick fucks who are wrong for loving Erik. The 14 year old (yeah, one of them was 14 but such a know-it-all) immediately hopped on their Discord server and started sharing our convo with their like-minded buddies (all 9 of them LOL), and that's how I ended up speaking with not just one, but two of these crazies. The second person has an Enjolras icon, so I asked them the following (forgive my typo, I was typing very fast):

I'm failing to see how I could possibly "ruin" Les Mis, but okay. This was just one among the veritable galaxy of completely dumbass things said by these two. Here is one more, from the other idiot, for good measure:

"If u dare" (first off, I have 0 respect fot those too lazy to type three letter words, and second, aren't we high and mighty?) "you'll be blocked". Oh no! Say it isn't so! Please, if anyone reading this shares any opinions with these seriously troubled children, then by all means, PLEASE BLOCK ME NOW!

Now, I warn you. The content of the below images WILL be upsetting to you. I apologize, friends, but it helps to illustrate just how deeply disturbed these people are.

Left: that's an awful lot of redundancy, not to mention superfluous f-bombs (smells like teen angst to me), but that's what these people love most in the world. They used the term "abuse apologist" collectively probably about 2 dozen times, and I'm truly sorry you've been abused, that sucks and I know from experience, but you don't have to let it rule your life like this? Y'all need therapy, or Jesus, or -something-, cuz this shit.... Mm-mm.

Right: That's just plain mean!

So, to summarise, I'm very disturbed to discover there are those out there with this viewpoint, those who are so focused on HATING something that they refuse to interact with anyone who has anything to do with that thing, they refuse to put aside differences or agree to disagree (as would adults), and they attack and insult those who do disagree, blanket-labelling us as "abuse apologists". It's really a shame.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

#phantom of the opera #e/c #hate #i am just so disgusted to share a fandom with such stupid and mean people #they suck #poor fools they make me laugh hahahahaha!

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maiji · 6 years

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Thoughts on Grasses of Remembrance (The Tale of Genji through its poetry)

Finally had some time this weekend to sit down with A Waka Anthology, Volume 2: Grasses of Remembrance Part B by Edwin A. Cranston. This book is the last in an impressive and intimidating collection translating a number of major classical poetry anthologies. It’s basically a speedrun through Tale of Genji (if such a thing were possible) filtered through all 795 waka poems written or uttered by the characters over the course of the novel.

Poetry was a Really Big Deal during the Heian era. If you were an aristocrat, not only were you expected to compose decent poetry, you had to be able to do it off-the-cuff appropriate to the occasion. AND to do this properly, you were expected to be able to recognize and respond cleverly to references to a ton of other existing classic poems from memory that people would just mention casually in conversation or writing (kinda like how people quote the Simpsons today lol). This was a prime marker of how intelligent/competent and - no joke - how sexy you were. So not surprisingly, these poems are extremely important to the development of character interactions and themes in the Tale of Genji which has a lot of romance and relationship plotlines.

However. Translating Heian era Japanese into modern Japanese is already challenging. Rendering Heian era Japanese waka poetry into modern English is, as you might imagine, harder for a bunch of reasons. Considering how dense the actual novel already is, it’s super easy to gloss over the poetry, and some modern translations simply integrate the basic intent of the poems right into the main text/dialogue.

I was really interested in finding something specifically focusing on and analyzing the poetry, and this book appeared to fit the bill.

Short review: IT TOTALLY DOES. If you’re into Tale of Genji, Heian era, classical Japanese history, classical Japanese literature, Japanese poetry, or just love reading translators articulating eloquently while sassing characters or flailing through linguistic complexities, I RECOMMEND THIS BOOK

Long review: blah blah blah thoughts follows, including some quotes/poem for reference.

The book starts with a quick 2 page intro setting the context of the Tale of Genji, then goes straight into the poems. TBH I personally found it more flowery and redundant than necessary (it repeats a few poems that are then explained later). But it’s only 2 pages, we’ll live.

Then, the poems. For every poem (or poems, in the case of an exchange - sometimes a flurry of them with multiple characters speaking or dashing letters off to each other) there’s an intro and summary of context followed by an analysis, including notes on meaning, narrator and character intent, structure, symbols and wordplay. The original Japanese is included in romaji alongside the English translation. The commentary also flags known references to other classic poems (WITH those poems in-line! This is awesome because I don’t have the rest of these books!), and even mentions poem and folk song quotations from the rest of the novel where the characters have not composed new poetry, but are reciting other existing known pieces.

Overall, I have only three real “warnings” about Grasses of Remembrance Vol 2b:

1) It’s very academic and flowery in tone. If you’re not used to it, it can be hard to read. But then again, if you’re not willing to get past that, how are you reading Tale of Genji? lol. In any case, I personally thought the commentary was a lot of fun. Cranston definitely has opinions and can get pretty sarcastic in places, which I found hilarious. Here are a few sample quotes:

“Tamakazura has remarked to herself how superior the Emperor [Reizei] was in looks to all the courtiers in his train (It is a principle with this author that superior people be dashingly handsome or ravishingly beautiful).”

“The ruefully witty poems exchanged between Yugiri and To no Naishi [Koremitsu’s daughter, the Gosechi Dancer] are rather more to my taste than the soggy ones Yugiri and Kumoi no Kari exchanged on their wedding night. Might it be the case that a totally sanctioned relationship is literarily uninspiring?”

“The old lady reaches for the melodramatic ultimate and dies just as Yugiri’s letter arrives.”

The overall effect is like an exceedingly well-educated, gossipy and sassy ride through the entire novel hahaha.

2) Minor typos. I noticed some speckled throughout the text every so often (e.g., Tamakazura being rendered Takakazura, Akashi as Asashi, instances of accidental extra letters, etc.). It was pretty clear what the correct spelling was supposed to be, and TBH considering this is the last of a huge-ass series of over 1300 pages I think it’s forgiveable. Maybe a few that spell-check should have caught, but oh well.

3) This book is NOT CHEAP. As I mentioned in a previous post, not only did I not buy the entire collection, I didn’t even buy a complete Volume 2 - I only bought the last half of the second volume lmao. And the Tale of Genji translations are only HALF of this half of a book. The rest is actually the footnotes, appendices, notes to poems, glossary, bibliography and indices (including indices for every poem by author and by first line) for this beast of a translation/compilation project. This includes a lot of additional commentary and other poems and makes for pretty interesting reading itself, even without the rest of the volumes/parts. The price can definitely be scary and an issue for a lot of people, so if you’re interested in it, I suggest try checking it out at your library or on Google Books first. (In fact, Google Books is how I learned of this book in the first place.)

For me, the depth of insight for the poems was fantastic. It gave me a lot more appreciation for the scenes, including the mental state of the characters, plus a million more symbols, metaphors and ideas for my own creative works like the Genjimonogatari illustration series, North Bound and other original stuff.

It also clarified several fuzzy translation questions I had that relied on specific knowledge of Heian culture and history/evolution of the use of the language and wasn’t easily found in Google searches or online language resources. And even if you’re already familiar with common allusions, metaphors and puns/homophones in Japanese poetry, it’s still helpful to see them all summarized. And sometimes lamented by the book’s author too. SO MANY PONIES EATING GRASS. SO MANY PINES. Especially the pines. (It IS an amazing pun though, especially because it works in both English and Japanese. Pine [tree] -> to pine, matsu/pine tree -> matsu/to wait)

In term of the actual translations themselves, you may still find them coming off a bit roundabout in some cases when comparing to the original Japanese. But overall I find Cranston’s translations more direct/flavourful than how they were rendered in the Tyler translation, partly because of how Tyler chose to juggle his set of translator’s challenges for rendering not only meaning but also more technical aspects of the poetic form. So the imagery ends up being, to me, a lot more vivid. The overall effect usually ends up more colourful, more emotional, more erotic, more cutting, more entertaining, and whatnot.

For example, Kashiwagi’s suitor’s poem in the Kocho/Butterflies chapter. When reading the novel, I was like, uh-huh, yah, OK. When I read it here, I was like whoa, dude, that’s a little intense lol. Cranston’s translation amps up the connotation of the heat of the water based on the rest of the line. For comparison:

(The original non-romaji Japanese in the samples following are thanks to the Japanese Text Initiative from the University of Virginia Library Etext Centre and the University of Pittsburgh East Asian Library. Their Tale of Genji page has a FREAKING AMAZING side-by-side comparison of the novel in original Japanese, modern Japanese and romaji. Bless them and the people who had to organize and wrangle that text together.)

Original Japanese: 思ふとも君は知らじなわきかへり岩漏る水に色し見えねば Omou to mo / Kimi wa shiraji na / Wakikaeri Iwa moru misu ni / Iro shi mieneba

Tyler version: You can hardly know that my thoughts are all of you, for the stealthy spring welling from the rocks leaves no colour to be seen.

Cranston version: Hardly can you know / Of the longing that I feel, / For the boiling wave / Is merely colorless water / As it drains away from the rock.

Here’s another example. Oigimi (Agemaki in the book, as Cranston used Wayley’s names for the sisters) telling Kaoru that he’s the only one who’s been actually visiting them and Kaoru is like all riiiight :Db! From Shii ga Moto / Beneath the Oak chapter:

Oigimi’s poem 雪深き山のかけはし君ならでまたふみかよふ跡を見ぬかな Yuki fukaki / Yama no kakehashi / Kimi narade Mata fumikayou / Ato o minu kana

Tyler: No brush but your own has marked the steep mountain trails buried deep in snow / with footprints, while back and forth letters go across the hills.

Cranston: Over the bridges / Clinging to the cliffs along / Our deep-snow mountains / No letter-bearer leaves his trace: / Those footprints are yours alone.

Kaoru’s reply つららとぢ駒ふみしだく山川をしるべしがてらまづや渡らむ Tsurara toji / Koma fumishidaku / Yamakawa o Shirube shigatera / Mazu ya wataramu

Tyler: Then let it be I who firsts ride across these hills, though on his mission, / where ice under my horse’s hooves crackles along frozen streams.

Cranston: In the sheets of ice / Covering the mountain streams / My steed crushes / Such letters as form my reason, / My first, to cross as a guide.

In other examples, Genji’s “*throws hands in the air* I give up” poetic reply to Suetsumuhana about how she keeps using Robes of Cathay/Chinese cloak imagery in her poems in the original Japanese alongside the translation cracked me up even more. And one of my favourites is a pair of poems between the future Akashi Empress (as a child) and her birth-mother the Akashi lady. It’s really sad, sweet and cute all at the same time and completely flew under my radar when I read the novel originally.

The poetry analysis for the Uji chapters is especially intriguing. The plot pointedly pits Niou against Kaoru as opposing personalities with particular similarities and contrasts that drive their relationship with each other and with the woman they’re competing for. Especially in the latter half of the story, a lot of their poems, even ones written independently (i.e., to Ukifune), are specifically composed to highlight those attributes and play off of each other.

Finally, it’s also super interesting to see my experience with the narrative changes through the lens of the poems. Obviously, as I mentioned, some things I easily missed without paying as much attention to the poems in between the rest of the story. But also, some prominent characters have very few poems, so the narrative shifts away from them. Meanwhile, a number of otherwise very minor or usually overlooked characters stand out even more, thanks to the fineness, loveliness, resonance, and sometimes just sheer consistent presence of their poetry. This book definitely gave me a lot of additional perspective on the Tale of Genji, and enhanced my appreciation of the novel and the skill behind its crafting!

#tale of genji #genji monogatary #waka poetry #a waka anthology #grasses of remembrance #edwin a. cranston #royall tyler #japanese #translation #japanese tranlation #heian period #kaoru chujo #oigimi #agemaki #kashiwagi

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lobsters-on-their-heads · 7 years

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What I want from (Fan)fiction

I love fanfiction, but good Lord is it hard to find good stuff in any fandom. I haven’t counted, but my guess is that only about 10% of works in any fandom are high quality, and the rest range from “okay, I can read this” to “holy fuck, this sucks so badly I now hate this pairing.” Of course, some of it is personal preference. There are tropes I can’t stand that other people love, and that’s great! Diversity is important. This is my list of things that I want from fanfiction. A lot of this applies to all fiction. I start with tips that I feel many readers would agree with, and end with my personal preferences that I know people disagree with. Specific fandoms mentioned here are DS9, Orphan Black, Harry Potter, and Game of Thrones.

1) Use the characters’ names, and use them in the way that they’re used in the original material. No one in Harry Potter called Minerva McGonagall “Nerva,” so you shouldn’t, either. Besides, it sounds silly. Call her Minerva.

Also, avoid referring to the characters by their characteristics unless absolutely necessary. In a scene with Cosima and Delphine, avoid referring to them as “the brunette” and “the blonde.” If I’m reading Cophine fanfic, I know damn well what color their hair is. Besides, the names are mostly just convenient tags to let the reader know who’s doing what, to help with the movie playing along in our brains. Adding in extra markers takes the focus away from the action. I understand you’re trying to avoid redundancy, but it ends up a little confusing.

“Cosima gasped as the blonde rolled on top of her.” This makes me wonder if a third woman joined the action. Just say Delphine rolled on top of her - it’s more clear.

2) The majority of your speech tags should be said or asked. It’s okay to throw in an occasional “she yelled” or “he gasped,” but keep those to a minimum, and only use as appropriate. Speech tags, like names, are mostly to tell the reader who said what. You don’t even need them a lot of the time if there are only two people speaking. Using creative and unnecessary speech tags, again, takes the reader away from the main action or message.

3) Tighten your writing. Specifically:

- Avoid excessive modifiers and prepositional phrases. “She spat with vemon” should be shortened to “she spat” unless of course there is literal venom involved, in which case, remove the “with.” “He frowned sadly,” is redundant. How else would he frown? “She thought to herself.” Well, who else is she going to think to?

- In general, if you can take words out without changing the meaning of the passage, take those words out. One way I’ve found to do this is by giving myself a page or word limit that’s a little bit shorter than what I already have. If the draft is 3,000 words, I try to make it 2,500. Going back to point #1, using the characters’ names helps with this. “Odo” reads more quickly than “the shapeshifter.”

4) PROOFREAD YOUR SHIT! Proofread it yourself a day or two after you finish, and then get someone else to proofread it. None of us can catch all of our own errors by ourselves, but we need to make sure it’s as clean as possible before sending it out into the world. Proofread especially for the following:

- Verb tense. Past tense is the most common, but the most important thing to watch for is consistency. I read a fic yesterday where the writer switched randomly into present tense halfway though, then went back to past. There was no time travel or flashbacks involved, just sloppy writing, and it took me out of an otherwise interesting story.

- Check your spelling. We’ll forgive the stray typo here and there, and some of us won’t even notice if you misspell “achieve,” but if you spell Kira’s given name as Niris, you’re showing that you don’t care about details.

5) Use accurate and appropriate language. I’ve lost count of the number of DS9 fics in which Major Kira “stomps” around the station. I can’t remember her ever stomping on the show, though. She strode, sashayed, walked, ran, jogged, limped, and (maybe) marched. She might have even bounced or skipped, but she never stomped. Stomping is what children do when they’re angry.

Similarly, don’t get too creative with names for body parts. Don’t use “digits,” use “fingers.” When discussing breasts, never, EVER call them orbs, globes, or mounds.

6) Be true to the characters. I know the point of fanfiction can be to stretch the boundaries of canon fiction, but if you go too far from the canon characters, you create entirely new characters who happen to have the same names. This doesn’t mean you can pair them up in canonically unrealistic ways. Garak and Captain Sisko can certainly have a tumble in Garak’s dressing room without either of them leaving character. This includes physical traits as well as personality. Some examples of what to avoid:

- Odo fucks Kira in the middle of a staff meeting, and she is pleasantly surprised. No one is upset about this. None of this is in character.

- Kira has massive breasts. In the show, Kira’s breasts are lovely (from what we can see), but they are not large.

7) Okay, so this one relates to #6, but might apply more to me than anyone else. I don’t like AUs. I just saw one that had Cosima as an actress, and another with Delphine as a kindergarten teacher. Guys.... they are both SCIENTISTS. That is a critical piece of their characters, not only professionally, but in terms of how they see and interact with the world around them. Similarly, Jaime Lannister is a soldier and a nobleman. He is not a musician. Brienne is not a fangirl. You can be inspired by characters and put elements of them into your own original work, but if you change too much about them, they are not the characters you say they are.

Of course, some people love AUs. If you like AUs, great, keep writing and reading them! They are obviously popular (about half of the Cophine fics I saw just yesterday were AUs). For me, though, you have to really sell me on your concept before I’ll even click the link.

Amendment to #7) This doesn’t apply to divergent plot lines within the original universe. Some of the best stories I’ve read follow the pattern of “What if [plot point] had turned out differently?” These keep the characters in character. What if Kira hadn’t died in “Children of Time?” What if Cosima had never been self-aware? What if Hermione were killed in book seven? What if Brienne found Sansa Stark and they went on adventures together? All of these work because they keep the characters in character.

What if Harry were a muggle? That works less for me. Being a wizard is too integral to who Harry is as a person. Still, if you write it well, I might give it a shot, provided that most everything else stays true to the Potterverse we know and love.

8) It’s okay to use a foreign language I don’t know, as long as it’s realistic. I don’t speak French, but Delphine does, so having her cry out French phrases during sex totally fits, and is better than having her do it in English. I can figure out the meaning from context. If characters are having a conversation in a foreign language, and the exact meaning is critical to the story, there are a few ways to handle that:

- One way is to have them speaking in, say, French, with each other, and then have a third character ask for a recap or summary.

- Have a footnote somewhere translating the lines into English (or whatever the primary language of the piece is).

- Have everything in English (or the primary language), but somehow signal to the reader that they have switched into French. Maybe use italics and have a third character point out that they aren’t not speaking English anymore.

Do not assume that your readers DON’T understand the foreign language you’re using, or that we all want an immediate translation. Repeating the same message in English immediately after giving it in French slows down the pace of the story, and is literally redundant.

#fanfic #fanfiction #cophine #odo #minerva mcgonagall #writing #harry potter fanfiction #got fanfiction #cophine fanfiction #ds9 fanfic #kira nerys #delphine cormier #cosima x delphine

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hydrus · 5 years

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Version 367

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I had a good week getting more of the tag migration working and adding some audio and ratings ui features.

sibling and parent migration

Last week's tag migration dialog now supports sibling and parent migration! Just like with tag mappings, you can copy between any combination of tag services and an external file type called a Hydrus Tag Pair Archive. There are tag filters for the left and right side of the pairs being migrated, so you can easily capture all the character->series parents or unnamespaced->creator siblings, for instance.

I am happy we finally have a way to import and export siblings and parents en masse. This should make it much easier to move tag pairs between local tag services and tag repositories, and, say, for an enterprising user to pull all the tag aliases and implications from a booru and get them into hydrus.

the rest

I fixed the bad 'do you want to do shutdown maintenance, auto-no in 15 seconds' yes/no dialog, which was throwing errors. It was a stupid typo that I accidentally didn't catch in testing. If you turned this dialog off in the options, please do turn it back on now. I apologise for the inconvenience.

Thumbnails now display the 'has audio' label in the top-left! You can also sort by 'has audio'.

Tag filters (as used in 'tag import options' and the new tag migration ui) now have a little 'test' area on their edit panel where you can type a tag and see if it is passes or is blocked by the current filter as is. I hope this clears up some more complicated filter situations.

The advanced OR search now supports wildcard tags, including the 'namespace:*' optimisation.

I added shortcut actions to increment/decrement numerical ratings! If a file has no rating yet, it will either initialise the file on minimum/x stars on an increment call or x/x on a decrement. It will work on multiple thumbnails correctly, incrementing or decrementing each file by one star based on its current rating. Please check it out under file->shortcuts->media, but also please forgive the increasingly cluttered UI in the actual edit shortcut action panel--I will rewrite this to be more compact and dynamic once some other preparatory UI work is done.

To shrink the redesigned thumbnail and media viewer right-click menus even further, they now collapse the multiple info lines at the top (and in some situations there can 5+ of these) to their own submenu. Also, the 'remove' submenu's 'selected' and 'all' choices now have separators to reduce mis-clicks. Some users have reported they would like the menu in a different order (for instance, the 'manage' menus at the top), and I know there is no perfect arrangement to please everyone, so I expect to revisit this in future as I continue to clean the underlying menu code and make options to have it present in whatever order you like.

The client now keeps track of whether it is 'caught up' to its repositories. You can see this status line on services->review services. It is a simple thing, and basically tests whether you are processed up to at least two weeks from the latest update. If you are not caught up, the client will stop you from uploading new pending content with a note explaining why and to please wait for a little more processing. This helps reduce wasted time, bandwidth, and CPU for all involved (since most common booru-pends on an unprocessed client are redundant and will be cleared out anyway once the client is caught up).

PTR is moving to new management

I will no longer be running the PTR on the 16th September. At least one user has offered to keep running it on their own server that has more bandwidth than I can provide, and I will be providing a sanitized version of the PTR db on a Mega account so any other user will also be able to do the same with their own hardware. My PTR will go down on the 16th and the new one should be back by the 18th, for v368. If everything goes ok, v368 will to provide you an option on update to automatically redirect your client to keep using it at the new location if you wish. Please check this post for more details:

https://hydrus.tumblr.com/post/187561442294/the-ptr-will-undergo-a-change-of-management-in-two

full list

tag migration:

added htpa and tag service sources for parents/siblings migration that support filtering for the left and right tag of each pair

added htpa and tag service destinations for parents/siblings migration

added unit tests for all parent/siblings migration scenarios

misc improvements to mappings migration code

reworded some of the tooltip/tag filter message text to more clearly explain how the filter applies to migrations

the tag filter edit panel now has a 'test' area where you can put in an example tag to see if it passes or is blocked by the current filter

the rest:

fixed an issue with auto-no-ing yes/no dialogs throwing errors on exit. I am sorry for the inconvenience!

thumbnails now show the 'has audio' string on their thumbnails

'sort by file: has audio' added!

icons drawn on thumbnails are now adjusted to sit inside the border

added increment/decrement numerical ratings actions for media shortcuts! if a file hit by this action has no rating, it will initialise with 0/1 stars or max stars. please forgive the ugly expanding ui in the shortcuts panel here--I'll rewrite this to layout more dynamically in future

client repository services now track whether they are 'caught up' to their repos, which for now means processed up until at least two weeks ago, and will prohibit uploading new content until the client is caught up

repository review services panels will now display the 'caught up' status below the 'processed' progress gauge

repository review services panels will no longer duplicate 'account' status problems in the 'this client's network use' status line--both lines now refer to service/account functionality separately

repositories will now put in 'unknown error' when an empty error reason slips through the 'no requests until x time' reporting process

the new thumbnail and media viewer right-click menus now collapse the selection info lines at the top to just the top line and places all the rest (and in complicated file domain situations, this can be a long list) in a submenu off that line

the new thumbnail 'remove' submenu has separators after 'selected' and 'all' to reduce misclicks

reworded a couple of things in the manage shortcuts panel to be more clear

added wildcard support ('eva*lion') and namespace wildcards (like 'character:*') to the advanced OR text input parsing

fixed a rare issue with the duplicate filter being unable to go back or retreat from an interstitial confirm/forget/cancel dialog when every pair in the current batch cannot be displayed (such as if at least one of the pair has been physically deleted). the filter now catches this situation, informs the user, and closes itself gracefully

added two extremely advanced and dangerous launch parameters for database access testing

couple of misc fixes and cleanup

upcoming heavy work

After discussing it with me, a user has been working for a long time on a conversion for hydrus to a different UI library, Qt. Although I have some fondness for wx (which hydrus is currently on), the stability, feature support, user customisation, and active development for Qt is significantly better. If it is possible to switch over and keep all existing functionality without inconveniencing users, I would like to do it.

His work is now coming together. The Qt build boots and important things like video rendering are ok, but there are still many small bugs to iron out. I have roughly estimated up to four weeks of my time to crash-learn Qt's differences and finish it off, and it looks like mid-October will be the time this happens, about five weeks from now. I will keep working as normal until then, approx v372, and then focus on the wx->Qt conversion exclusively until it is ready. Assuming it all goes well, the next release will be a few weeks later, likely in mid-November. It may need a 'clean' install as previous big changes like the py2->py3 needed, in which case the usual explainers will come with that release post, or it may be just a normal release with some slightly different UI. I will make the usual weekly status report posts so you know how it is going.

next week

With the first version of tag migration done, I am now ready to add multiple local tag services. This will let you have different types of tags (e.g. booru tags vs your personal tags) in different local containers. I will likely add semi-hidden default services that pull all downloader tags, thread watcher tags, and hard drive import filenames, so this data can be 'mined' after the fact using the new migration tech. The db is ready to support this, but most references to the lone current 'local tags' service are hardcoded, so I simply need to rewrite every instance to allow for multiple services and likely add a 'all local tags' as an umbrella service to reference them all. This will take several weeks to finish, so I'll just get started.

Otherwise, next week is a 'medium-size' job week. I would like to add 'file modified' date metadata for files, including searching and sorting, and improve the new file maintenance pipeline to work faster and more intelligently so it can retroactively discover the modified dates for all your files in reasonable time (and do the same on the retroactive 'has audio' queue from that recent work).

Things have been stressful and busy just recently, and it looks like we will have some more fun for another couple of months. I just hope to keep putting out code. Thank you for your continuing support--it really makes a difference.

#release

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