#fucking barking like a dog this is the coolest thing ever

[beautiful-daisy-bell]

I HAVE RISEN FROM THE GRAVE WITH THE HELP OF WELCOME HOME

15 pages and counting of mad clue-scribbling and theorizing. And a break to doodle Wally and one of my original characters!! He’s a detective with a giant eyeball for a head and I feel like they would get along quite well since they have a lot in common!

#welcome home #wally darling #doodles #welcome home arg #losing my mind #SO MUCH JUICY CONTENT IN THIS UPDATE #I WAS UP ALL NIHJT LIKE A MADMAN SCRIBBLING HIDDEN STUFF DOWN #ITS SO SQUISHY YET SO UNSETTLING #IM BEING SUCKED IN #I NEED MOREEEEEEEEE #fucking barking like a dog this is the coolest thing ever

[condorclaw]

Tommy frowned, staring.

Michael stared back.

Tubbo and Ranboo could only watch this scene unfold, somewhat expecting that this would happen between their friend and their son. What they didn't expect was how quiet Tommy was.

It was silent in the room for a minute or two more, before Tommy reached out a hand and softly booped the top of Michael's nose. The zombie piglin let out a honk of approval, making Tommy's eyebrows raise in amusement. With the piglin happy, the boy turned to face Michael's parents.

"I don't think this is a dog, fellas."

Tubbo and Ranboo both released large sighs of relief that they didn't even know they were holding in, Tommy slightly tilting his head in confusion.

"Well, we said he wasn't a dog, Tommy. We said he was our son."

"Some people call their dogs their kids, so I could only guess."

As the best friends talked, Ranboo gazed over at Michael with affection, feeling a grin spread across his face. What Ranboo didn't expect, however, was how closely Michael seemed to be watching Tommy.

Surprising Ranboo again, the piglin stood up on wobbly legs, trotting over to where Tommy was leaning on a piece of furniture. Snorting, he clutched on to one of Tommy's legs, leading Tommy to jolt from the sudden contact a little, before instinctively trying to lean away from Michael. Recognizing that Tommy was having a bit of a rough time at the moment, Tubbo leaned down and carefully removed Michael's arms from Tommy's leg, mumbling soft words of comfort and encouragement to both Tommy and Michael.

After Michael was removed, Tommy had to take a moment to catch his breath and clear his thoughts, his eyes shutting for a moment as he muttered unintelligible words to himself. Tubbo and Ranboo waited for him to recover, Michael watching with curiosity.

"A'ight, I'm okay now," Tommy inhaled deeply, letting out an equally deep exhale before opening his eyes again.

"I'm really sorry about that-" Ranboo began to apologize before getting cut off by Tommy.

"Nah, don't apologize, big man. Michael's a fetus, he doesn't know about complicated adult things like trauma."

Tubbo let out a snort of laughter, which Michael tried to copy the sound of.

"He's not normally physically affectionate like this on first meetings," Ranboo spoke, though mostly to himself more than anyone else.

Michael let out a squeal of frustration, alerting the trio to the piglin trying to wiggle out of Tubbo's arms. Tubbo and Ranboo's ears stood up in surprise at the sudden noise, the two looking down at their son worriedly. Tommy had looked startled when Michael began his outburst, but now looked much calmer as he leaned down a little to come face-to-face with Michael.

Tubbo and Ranboo's surprise grew even bigger as Tommy began to make squealing and oinking noises himself, causing Michael's fit to stop. The piglin's eyes were wide with excitement as Tommy spoke, his stubby arms starting to wave in excitement as he continued his excited honking, which Tommy responded to as well.

"What the fuck," Tubbo whispered in shock, his eyes wide, and Ranboo had to agree with him there.

Tommy proceeded to sit down on the floor, glancing up at Tubbo with a lopsided smile. "You can put 'em down, Big T. It's alright."

Following Tommy's instructions, Tubbo set his son down, who immediately sprinted towards the blonde at high speeds. He halted in his tracks when Tommy barked out another noise, one that Ranboo and Tubbo didn't understand, that brought Michael to a slower pace. It sounded somewhat familiar to Ranboo, but he didn't know why.

Michael ended up standing in front of a seated Tommy, the taller boy laughing as he reached out his hand slowly. The piglin stepped forward slowly, moving to grip one of Tommy's fingers gently, which allowed Tommy to carefully wrap his hands around Michael, lifting him up to eye level. Tommy let out a small noise again, causing Michael to oink in delight.

Smirking with satisfaction, Tommy looked back over at the stunned parents, sticking out his tongue a little. "Surprise, motherfuckers."

"HOW DID-" Tubbo began to belt out, quickly stopped by Ranboo by the taller boy pressing down on Tubbo's head gently. With this sign from Ranboo, Tubbo cleared his throat, continuing to speak.

"Tommy, and I mean this in the nicest way possible: how the fuck did you do that?"

"Wot? You jealous that I can speak piglin?"

Ranboo was learning so much today that he didn't expect in any way whatsoever.

"One," the enderman spoke, trying to keep his voice at a calm level while his husband stood slack-jawed. "Yes, I am. Two: how do you know piglin?"

The shit-eating grin on Tommy's face grew wider upon seeing how he stunned his friends, causing him to look back at Michael and speak in piglin once more, making the kid chirp out happily.

"Tomathy Danger Careful Kraken Innit Minecraft, you tell me what you just said to him right now," Tubbo folded his arms, trying to hide the previous shock on his face with little-to-no success. Ranboo, meanwhile, now had to process the fact that he had never known Tommy's full name.

"I just told him that I was cooler than the both of you," Tommy barked out a laugh, Michael giggling along with him as Tommy set him back down on the ground.

"Anyway," the blonde continued, watching as Michael began to walk in circles around him. "I learned piglin from Techno. He suggested we use it for commands in battle so nobody else would understand what we were saying."

It suddenly made sense what Tommy had said to Michael that sounded familiar. Ranboo had heard Technoblade use that exact sound when they were exploring in the nether, and had come face-to-face with a piglin squadron. "Wait, were you telling Michael to approach safely?"

"Hell yeah, Ranboob" Tommy gave a thumbs-up, Michael trying to copy the gesture with his own hooves. "When I was still living with him as well, I'd go to the Nether when we had nothing else to do. Yeah, the Nether is a horrible shitty place and I want nothing to do with it, but it was the only way I could make friends while I was still in exile."

"WAIT," Tubbo's eyes widened even more, his face looking like it might split open from surprise. "You spoke with piglins in the Nether!?"

Tommy's reply was shooting finger-guns towards his best friend with a grin, with Michael trying to copy them once more.

"As fascinating as this conversation is, and trust me, I'm absolutely going to ask you to death about this," Ranboo pointed at Tommy in a jokingly accusatory manner. "Tubbo, I think we just lost our son."

Tubbo looked towards Michael, the little one trying intensely to copy Tommy's movements. "God damn it Tommy, you stole our son."

"Hey, I'm not stealing him," Tommy protested with laughter, reaching over to gently pet Michael's head, Ranboo noticing how his touch lingered on the thin layer of hair, stroking it softly. Ranboo noted to himself that piglin hair seemed like a comfort texture to Tommy. He’d tell Tubbo about it later, but for now he’d play along with the bit of his friend stealing his son. “Oh really? Then why’s our son copying you?”

“Because I’m the coolest uncle.”

Silence stretched throughout the room once more, with both Tubbo and Ranboo’s eyes wide. The small on Tommy’s face slowly changed into a worried one, and he looked away from the couple and at the ground. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t know if-”

“Watch how hard I can cry,” Tubbo mumbled, his eyes looking bright with joy before he went to Tommy’s side, kneeling down to give him a genuine smile. “Tommy, dude, I think that’s the best thing I’ve ever heard in my life. Even better than Ranboo proposing to me.”

“Um, rude,” Ranboo giggled, kneeling at Tommy’s other side and allowing Michael to climb up on his lap. “But yeah, I know what Tubbo’s getting at. We weren’t sure if you would even want to be Michael’s uncle-”

“Wot?” Tommy sounded genuinely surprised at that, his own eyes wide. “Why wouldn’t I want to be? He’s my best friend-brother’s son!”

“I mean, yeah, but after what happened with Techno, we weren’t sure if piglins would...”

Tommy fell quiet, his eyes shifting to gaze at the ground as uncertainty crossed his face. After a stretch of silence, only filled with Michael’s occasional chirring, Tommy gazed back at the two parents. “As complicated as my relationship with Techno might be, that shouldn’t impact this little guy,” Tommy bore his fangs in a grin, making Michael clap with his little hands. “Besides, I can understand him while you two can’t. Who else is gonna teach you two piglin without fuss?”

“Are you holding our child’s language for ransom?” Tubbo was about to playfully punch Tommy in the arm, but appeared to suddenly remember the situation and placed his hand back down.

“Noooo, but now you two need me.”

Ranboo rolled his eyes, making Tommy pretend-pout at him. Tommy folded his arms, faking disappointment. “You’re so mean to me, Ranboo. I take back my marriage blessing.”

“My husband! No!”

“We can elope, Ranboo. Tommy can’t stop us.”

“I’m holding your whole son for ransom then.”

“Actually, I don’t need my husband anymore.”

“Tubbo! How could you do this to me?

And Michael squealed with delight as the three continued on into the night.

#uncle tommy my beloved #let them all be a happy family #dream smp #dsmp #c!tommy #c!tubbo #c!ranboo #michael #michael the piglin #c!michael #so many tags for this kid #michael underscore-beloved #my writing #my post #also quick information here! in my mind tommy doesn't like to be touched unless he knows it's comint #but even then it can only be slight taps or grazes because if something gets a full grip or constricts him in any way he has a panic attack #even if it's his hand clutching it too hard can result in him needing to get away as fast as he can

[thatasianstereotype]

Fuck. I’m Gay.

I’ve been reading a lot of ml salt fics lately (mainly @unmaskedagain which is a literal goldmine of saltiness). And getting into the Damienette ship. Marinette really does deserves better (Fuck Canon) but so does Adrien. He is not a “sidekick”. Chat Noir and Ladybug are partners = equals. So I decided why not write a fic where Adrien gets his own happy ending in the form of a grumpy assassin-turned-vigilante that loves animals more than people. 

Somewhat of a crack writing where creative liberties were definitely taken. 

.

.

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Lila Rossi is a bitch and everyone knew it. Well, by everyone, Adrien means himself, his good-amazing-make-pastries-for-him friend Marinette, his maybe-not-really-sure friend Chloe and his-not-that-close-really-classmate Nathaniel. 

Yeah. It was a small number. 

But Lila is still a bitch. 

Anyway, Lila’s lies and manipulations have disturbed the status quo and not in a good way. She ended up making the majority of the class fawn over her like she was a perfect goddess and not a pompous-temperamental-hormonal teenager. Teenagers were prone to be gullible; he can understand his classmates being inclined to believe her. But this was utterly ridiculous (man, Chloe is rubbing off on him). No. You know what’s even more ridiculous? Ms. Bustier letting Lila get away with it. She doesn’t even stop the class mistreating Marinette who claimed she was a bully just because of you know who - Fucking Lila Rossi. The audacity of that bitch and her bitchy followers, am I right? 

Growing up he watched the tv shows and the animes. High schools always had their drama but he thought that was to get some plot going on. He didn’t think it was an actual thing that happens in real life. But he was proven wrong. Françoise Dupont High School had their drama and it was way worse than what he watched on screen. 

The worst part was that he couldn’t get away from Lila. Or he’ll be pulled from school (Fuck you Dad). He had to sit next to that bitch and listen to her drone on and on about things they both knew she didn’t do, about things she promised to do for her ever gullible followers friends. And couldn’t say anything against it if he wanted to stay in school. But even his discreet questioning didn’t do that much. It got some of the class to think something’s possibly fishy with her stories but not enough to think Lila was evil. So he just gave up. Because what was even the point? 

He was distancing himself from Alya and Nino. He couldn’t really be friends with people who thought Lila held the sun and moon. They didn’t hang out as much as they used to and he made excuses when they did invite him to stuff. Lately, he was making outrageous excuses - like he had to take his cat to the vet even though he didn’t have a cat - to see if they caught on. They didn’t. It was fun but he didn’t know whether to feel happy or sad about that. But feeling sad-depressed-pain over it was a bitch so he decided to take his victories as they come. 

Chloe had left the school earlier on. Her mom wanted to spend one-on-one time with her daughter (Yeah, Audrey is better at being a mother here). She was completely out of this drama mess. And Nathaniel kept his head down to not paint a target on himself. 

His only consolation and ally in this whole mess was Marinette. His darling angel. His sunshine incarnate. His own goddess (not like that bitch Lila let’s get one thing straight). 

When he was feeling overwhelmed (which was a lot), he spent it at her house. They spent it discussing fashion, trash talking Liar-la and the sheep class, playing video games, and making/eating the best baked goods in all of Paris. If he wasn’t at his photo shoots or at school, he was at her house. And with how often they spent time with each other, it wasn’t long before they accidentally revealed their alter egos to each other. 

(The class’ Everyday Ladybug was actually Ladybug. How amazing is that! Isn’t Marinette the absolute coolest?!) 

Since they outed themselves to each other, they had to give up their miraculous. And new heroes had to be chosen. As the guardian, Marinette decided to give the Ladybug miraculous to herself and the Cat one to Adrien. And make them the superheros of Paris. 

(Just when he thought that Marinette couldn’t get any cooler) 

They both collectively decided that being friends were for the best and put away their obsession crush over the other far far away. Now they were best friends-almost siblings. Oh who was he kidding? He was an honorary Dupain-Cheng. Marinette and her parents said so. And who was he to deny the goddess? 

All was well. 

Until he met this gorgeous boy with raven black hair and piercing green eyes that made him question everything in life. 

Like fuck. His life wasn’t hard enough already? 

.

It was a slow patrol. Just stopped a few petty crimes. No akuma tonight. He wasn’t really expecting much to happen.

Mari said patrolling regularly gives citizens a sense of security and it helps if one of them were on scene if an akuma does appear. 

He didn’t mind. He loved running on the rooftops and feeling the wind in his face. After some time, he stopped and stood on top of one of the tallest buildings. Just soaking the view. The peace and serenity of it all. Seeing the glowing lights of his beloved city. Seeing the Eiffel Tower standing tall and proud. 

(Forget school. Forget Liar-la and her hoard of bitches) 

This was his city. This was why he fights Hawk Moth with Ladybug. They had something precious to protect. 

He was done patrolling the regular routes and all his schoolwork was already finished. He could go to sleep but he didn’t feel that tired. And he really didn’t want to go back home. Mari shared her theory on his dad being Hawk Moth. She had really good reasons and a plethora of proof. If they could switch miraculous, why couldn’t he and Mayura - most likely Nathalie? Which would explain how Gabriel got akumatized.

After all her support with dealing with Lila, he was way more inclined to believe her even without the evidence. But those things just made him more wary of his dad. And he wasn’t too stoked on spending more time than what he can get away with with the guy. Because his dad being Hawk Moth explains why he wants Lila (his strongest supporter - Chameleon and Oni-chan, anyone?) close and makes Adrien play nice with her. And anyone who enables Lila’s bitchiness is on his enemy list. 

Anyway, he was out here to enjoy the good mood not think about evil bitches and evil dads. So he sat himself down and enjoyed the sights. It was more calming than you would think. 

He heard cars blaring and even a dog barking. The slight breeze felt nice. The moon was pretty bright tonight. The stars too. There was a lone couple walking through the park. There was also another teen in black running on rooftops a few buildings away. 

Wait. 

What? 

He blinked and looked again. Huh, there was another teen in black running on rooftops. And it was not a hallucination. 

What the actual fuck?

He was instantly on his feet, baton already in hand as he raced across the roof to reach said stranger. 

“Hey!” 

But because he was the lucky owner of the unlucky miraculous, the moment he said that, the guy was about to jump off a building to presumably roll onto the next one like Chat was watching him do beforehand. But his call made him lose focus and Chat watched horrified as the guy slipped and started falling into the alley. 

Oh fuck! Mari was going to fucking kill this dumbass kitty!

He hoped to everything that Mari thinks is holy that he makes it in time. Extending his baton, he used it as a huge Pogo stick to basically catapult himself towards the stranger and wrapped his arms around him as he braced himself for the full weight of hitting the gravel at this height and speed. But he wasn’t that that concerned. His suit protected him from the majority of the injuries that would’ve occurred if he wasn’t wearing it. It hurt but it isn’t as bad as it could’ve been. Remember earlier? He takes his victories as they come. 

This was not the smartest of ideas, he’ll admit. Mari had the brains to be honest. But it wasn’t bad if he say so. And he does say so. 

He rolled over and immediately looked over the stranger that was remarkably unharmed in this whole mess. 

And oh.

Oh.

The stranger was taller than he was with a lithe and lean frame. He had raven black hair that complimented his tanned skin and gorgeous green eyes that pierced through him, making his heart do funny things. 

He was not expecting him to look as hot as he did. He wore a simply black t-shirt and jeans but he looked like a fucking Adonis, what the fuck.  Even the moon shone down on him, highlighting his handsome features even more.  

He shook himself of those thoughts and focused on what was more important. “I’m so sorry. Are you alright?” 

He was rudely pushed away, but he didn’t take offense. He did cause the guy to fall after all. 

“Do not touch me.” (What kind of accent is that?) “I’m fine. You are truly a moronic imbecile of the highest accord to yell like that. And what are you even supposed to be? Some kind of knock-off Catwoman?” 

At that, Chat looked at Hot-And-Sexy weird. “Are you new here? I’m the superhero Chat Noir. I protect Paris with Ladybug.”

“You’re joking.”

“I know I come off as the goofy hero because I make purr-fect puns all the time but I’m not joking about this.” 

He took out his phone to show the foreign (since he’s obviously not a Parisian) stranger the akuma attacks and Ladybug and Chat Noir being a dynamic duo, saving Paris and beating Hawk Moth. Ok, he showed the stranger a lot of stuff. Sue him. He gets to brag about his Princess. And himself too.

“I never heard about this before.” Hot-And-Sexy (he has got to come up with a better name) said afterward. “3 years this has been going on? Why didn’t you ask for help from the Justice League or other superheros?” 

Chat shrugged. “We tried. But they said we’re obviously pulling a prank and making this all up. So we stopped asking for help.”

For some reason this made Hot-And-Sexy angry. “They ignored your plea for help and left you to fight for yourselves?”

“Pretty much, yea.” 

“You and Ladybug are children.” 

“Excuse me? Are you doubting our ability to protect our city?" He was not apologetic at the sharp edge his voice took. Forget looking hot. How dare he? The audacity really. 

Hot-And-Sexy shook his head. “I’m not. I know some child superheroes who are adequate at their jobs and a few who are remarkable like Robin in Gotham. But the majority of them had adult mentors to guide them. From what you’ve shown me, you and Ladybug had no one. You were left alone to fend for yourself with essentially no help.” 

He never thought of it that way. But hearing it like that made him think: Fuck Adults Who Chose Children to Fight Their War For Them and Fuck Hawk Moth For Putting Them In This Position In The First Place. 

You know what. Just to clear all his bases - Fuck Everyone But The Dupain-Chengs. 

Chat couldn’t help but shrug, not quite knowing what to say to that. “Life is a bitch, I’ve come to find out. But enough of that. Why were you running on rooftops anyway?”

“It calms me down.”

Relatable. 

“Is...Is your tail moving?” 

“Huh?” He looked behind him to see his tail was indeed moving lazily. “Yeah. I’m called Chat Noir for a reason.”

“May I touch them?” Chat was used to people (usually kids) pulling on his tail to see if it was real (It was). And it really hurts because they usually rough. Not that he blames them. Kids don’t know any better. Still, he usually says no when people ask. 

But Hot-And-Sexy had such a sincere expression that he said yes. To his surprise and delight, Hot-And-Sexy was extremely gentle (Can this guy be anymore perfect?) and it felt nice to be petted like that. Curse his touch-starvation (again Fuck you Dad).

Hot-And-Sexy was apparently fascinated by his ears and tail. 

“Are you a meta?” He noticed how Hot-And-Sexy’s voice turned softer and fonder (or was he imagining that?).

“Nah. I’m fully human. I just got powers to transform into this.” He looked down at his phone seeing that the time was nearing 2 am.

“Have you suffered any injuries from your stupid stunt?” 

“Hmm?” Chat looked back at him before gesturing to his body. “Don’t worry. I may not look like it but I can take it.”

He can practically feel Hot-And-Sexy rolling his eyes. “What an utter dolt.” 

But there wasn’t any heat behind it so he didn’t take it to heart. 

“Thanks, babe.” 

“That was an insult.”

“And I’m taking it like a compliment.”

Chat stood up and stretched his limbs. Hot-And-Sexy doing the same but dusting off his clothes instead.

“So, uh, need any help getting home?”

“I am perfectly capable of finding my own way, thanks.” 

“Ok. Have a nice night.” He was about to leave when he was caught off guard by Hot-And-Sexy staring at him for a good few seconds, making his limbs freeze in place at the heavy attention.

Before he said. “You should try contacting the Batfamily in Gotham about Hawk Moth. They’re used to dealing with weird things. I’m sure they won’t turn you or Ladybug away.” 

Chat was a bit distracted by how intensely those green eyes focused on him, making his heart beat faster and his cheeks turn a vibrant red. 

He was so screwed. 

He used his baton to shoot himself up so he can run on rooftops, hurrying to the Dupain-Cheng bakery. 

.

“Mari! I think I’m gay!”

“It’s 2 in the morning, Chaton. Go to sleep and we’ll talk about it in the morning.” 

.

After a good night’s rest (and thank everything that was right in the world that today was a weekend), Adrien told Mari all about Hot-And-Sexy. And yes, he did call the stranger that out loud. His everything-that-actually-matters sister simply took it in stride after giggling a bit. They spent the majority of the day discussing emotions and everything that came with that bundle. 

Before he finally came to a conclusion. 

He is definitely gay (He liked girls but not like like them). And most definitely had a crush on Hot-And-Sexy with the pretty green eyes. 

Good news: He is no longer having a sexuality crisis. 

Bad news: He is going through an emotional crisis. 

Like dealing with these feelings that is making his stomach flip flop over and over again? The only one he ever had to deal with was the one he had on Ladybug and that (he talked with Mari about it months before. She was amazing with these emotional matters) was more of a hero-worship crush than anything really romantic. 

And his crush on Hot-And-Sexy was so much more. 

.

So it’s been about 2 weeks since he encountered Hot-And-Sexy. And he still haven’t figured out what else to call him. But the nickname was growing on him. 

(He also told Mari about asking the Batfam for help but she was a bit apprehensive after the disastrous attempts of convincing the Justice League. He shrugged, trusting her opinion and left it at that) 

Anyway, Lila was being her usual bitchy self. Father was being non-existent like always. Mari was his only source of sanity at school. And Hawk Moth was being a bitch. 

Because of course, the day before they have a huge test, he decides to akumatize someone (in this case, a businessman who was really unhappy with getting fired) and cut in on study time. And this akuma took a while to defeat. Guess he drew a lot of strength from his burning hatred of the failings of the corporate world. 

And just yesterday, a teenager who was upset at being grounded got akumatized and terrorized the city for 3 hours before Ladybug could purify her. It did however confirmed her fears. Hawk Moth was getting stronger. It took longer to defeat his monsters. They needed to find him and ended this fast. 

Adrien landed on Mari’s balcony and slipped in her room, crashing on her big comfy bed, de-transforming on the spot. Plagg sleepily floating and laying next to him on the pillow. He was so tired. And photo shoots and school drama were not helping things.

.

For the record, he was not at all expecting to see Hot-And-Sexy in a bookstore of all places. 

He was so engrossed in looking through the latest Boku no Hero Academia manga (can’t wait until Season 5 comes out) that when someone touched his shoulder, he was not proud to admit he squeaked a bit.

He turned around and his eyes widened his surprise. 

“Hot-And-Sexy!” 

It was indeed the Adonis Adrien had a huge crush on. Today he was wearing a white t-shirt paired with a blue denim jacket and black ripped jeans. Wow. He really can make anything look hot.

No. Bad Adrien. Don’t let him know you actually have a crush on him.

And oh fuck. Hot-And-Sexy was staring at the blonde and Adrien tried not to let himself get flustered. He has a very intense stare. For all he knew, Hot-And-Sexy stares at everyone like that.

Calm the fuck down, heart. You too brain.

He raised a handsome eyebrow in amusement. “Excuse me?”

Adrien felt himself burn with embarrassment, his face turning bright scarlet. No wonder he was fit for the unlucky miraculous or was this just a side-effect? Note to self, ask Mari about this later. 

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t get your name last time. And I just started calling you that in my head. Cause you’re really hot and you have pretty eyes.”

Fuck mouth! Why won’t you stop talking! Please for the love of everything that makes Mari a BAMF stop. Stop digging further into the hole of embarrassment! Abort mission! Abort!

“When did we meet?”

At that, he blink a few times. Oh fuck. He was not Superhero Chat Noir. He was Civilian Adrien Agreste. Mari was definitely murdering his dumbass tonight. Lightning please strike him down right now. Where was an unlucky lightning strike when you need it?

After a few seconds of his horrified silence, Hot-And-Sexy chuckled (he had such a nice laugh). “You are extremely lucky I already figured out your alter ego beforehand, Chaton.”

Before Adrien could even unwrap that statement, he held out a hand and had a dangerously sexy smirk on his face. “My name is Damian Wayne. Would you care to get a cup of coffee with me?”

And Adrien nodded his head, not trusting himself to speak. He can deal with the superhero thing later when he can think straight (hah!) and is not distracted by Damian’s beautiful smile and alluring green eyes and perfect everything.

.

Guess what?

Ya Boi got game.

(At least, he likes to think he does)

After a successful coffee date (was it a date? Please let it be a date), they exchanged numbers (cue internal squealing) and met up a few times afterward to hang out.

Apparently, Dami was here on business to deal with something for Wayne Enterprises.

“Aren’t you 17?”

“Father believes in preparing us when we’re young.”

Dami was amazingly sweet. Arrogant and pretentious with a stick up his ass but sweet. He treats stray animals with such reverence that Adrien’s heart melt every time he sees it.

It was an added bonus when Damian scorned Lila with cruel words and disgusted looks when she tried to cut in Adrien and Dami’s date(?)/meetup(?)/spending-time-together event.

She cried and whined afterwards and Adrien has to endure his father’s lecture. But it was totally worth it.

Oh yeah. Mari was not pleased that he accidentally outed himself to a civilian. But nothing that a couple of sad kitty eyes can’t fix.

“You are so lucky you’re cute, kitty-cat.” Mari grumbled but she was smiling. “I just need to have a good talk with him on the importance of secrecy.”

.

That day Damian Wayne learned to fear a certain Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

.

It was 2 weeks later when Adrien woke up to a package next to his futon in Mari’s room. When he opened it, he saw the Butterfly and Peacock miraculous inside.

There was a card beneath it. And in beautiful cursive script read: 

I dearly hope you enjoy my courting gift, mon amour. Allow me the honor to formally ask you out on a date. I look forward to hearing favorably from you soon.

- Damian Wayne

He couldn’t believe it.

“Mari! Damian likes me back!”

“Chaton, I swear. It is 2 in the morning.”

Next

#ml x dc #ml salt #ml salt fic #lila rossi salt #marinette deserves better #but so does adrien #adrien deserves better #adrien agreste #sexuality crisis #gaydrien #adrien agreste x damian wayne #adridami #oneshot #how the fuck did this crack idea span 3K words #apparently I'm down with this ship

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Owen Grady’s child

Owen Grady x child!reader

warnings: knives, guns

a/n: i cannot remember the plot bare w me

prompt: being owen’s child

okay, let’s start with the fact that he’s a single dad

that did not stop him from raising you right

navy brat

after a little bit of instability during his years of service, he got a job as a raptor trainer

so you see, it wasn’t a typical childhood

you two moved to isla nublar so he could begin his work

“woah, that’s a dinosaur?”

“yeah, kiddo, she’s a velociraptor”

you were a bit older when you met the dinosaurs, so owen trusted you to be around them

“if you respect them, they’ll respect you”

blue took a liking to you pretty quick!!!

owen thought it was adorable the way you got along with the raptors

you were sort of like a co-trainer

living in that lil trailer

“this place is too small”

“quit your complaining and eat your mac and cheese”

your dad taught you how to fix cars and motorcycles

you did a bang-up job

“you really are my child. oh, my god, im so proud”

watching tv with owen all the damn time

it was usually cartoons though bc that was all he cared to watch

sometimes he forgets that you are not a raptor and you have to jog his memory

“can you get your hand out of my face before i tear it off?”

half of your holiday gifts are weapons

“look at this knife, y/n! it’s two inches longer than your old one. you’ll grow into it”

“dad, a knife is not a pair of pants...but thank you, i love it”

you’re pretty good at throwing knives, though. your dad put a target on a nearby tree for you to practice

every once in a while it’s gun practice, though

“okay, remember the proper foot stance...now arms. make sure not to lock up, make sure your fingers are clear from anything that could move...okay, go!”

there was a high level of trust between you and your dad

he ruffles your hair a lot, you used to care

you no longer care

you had free admission to the park, so sometimes you’d take the day off and wander around for a while

you always came home with a stuffed animal (or several)

“is that a stuffed pterodactyl?”

“his name is pterry”

“nice”

back to raptor training: you loved it!!!!!!!

training a dinosaur was nothing like training a dog, lemme tell you

these lovely dinos made you so happy!!!

they’re pretty at-ease when you’re nearby

arguing when anyone talks about using them for some sort of selfish profit

“they’re animals, dipshit! stop treating them like weapons!”

“mr. grady, are you going to tell your child to behave?”

“no, no i will not”

claire popping over to see your dad while you were working on his bike

because she suddenly needed your dad’s help

and wanted to exclude you until your dad said he wouldn’t do anything unless you had the opportunity to come along

“you know, y/n, i have a nephew who’s about the same age as you visiting here right now”

“how old am i, claire?”

she did not have a response

your dad was stifling chuckles

“nice one, kid” *high five*

tHe InDoMiNuS rEx

you: 👀

owen: 👀

yeah this was not gonna be good

tbh you almost died when you were surveying the cage

why? oh, i don’t know...because there was a BIG FUCKING DINOSAUR IN THAT BITCH

“y/n! under there!”

you ran ahead of owen and ducked under a truck where he soon followed (and dumped gasoline all over yall)

terrifying, truly

your dad did not want to let you out of his sight

not todayyyy

“are you okay, yeah?”

“perfect...”

busting into the control center :) tee hee

while owen was barking orders at people and telling them to not do what they were doing, you were sitting next to the guy with a bunch of dinosaurs on his desk

“you like them?”

“not really, i’m not five”

“oh...”

turning to the screen to see flatlining soldiers

“oh, shit. uh, that’s not good. you need to close the park maybe?”

they dont like listening to the child with the bright ideas ig

they did end up shutting off rides though. best they can do, huh?

claire couldnt get in contact with her nephews

you went after them together

it was a long ass journey

you almost died a few times

although your father did trust you to take care of yourself, even in a situation like this, he still was extremely worried for your safety

you got a gun :)

this was actually positively the worst day of your life

okay, it took a long while to catch up to claire’s nephews

“jesus, claire, you’re nephews sure know how to move. this is getting exhausting”

you didn’t find them until the......pterodactyls got loose

“pterry would never do something like this”

“not the time or place, y/n”

“sorry, dad”

finally finding those damn kids

“hey, i’m y/n, your crazy ass aunt just dragged me and my dad all the way around the island to find you!”

oh yeah a pterodactyl tackled your dad

whoop de do your gun was jammed

claire saved the day and all three of you witnessed their little display of pda amidst chaos

“wow, uh, maybe we’ll be cousins...”

your dad finally caved and agreed to use the raptors to find the indominus rex

and you got to prove your badassery out there

“you sure you’re up for this mission, y/n? you know you can stay with claire and the boys if you want”

“i’ll be okay, dad, i promise”

he gave you a hug

YOU GOT A MF MOTORCYCLE

okay i cant lie, you and your dad riding motorcycles side-by-side among velociraptors was probably the coolest thing you’ll ever get to do

but they, uh, kind of turned on you and next thing you know, you were speeding after the ambulance claire was driving

zach and gray were relieved to see you

you gave ‘em a little wave

“do you think we’ll ever be that cool?”

“gray, not now”

“i’m gonna take that as a ‘no’”

CLAIRE LET OUT THE MOTHERFUCKING T-REX

it was an Experience(tm)

you were split up from your dad and the boys while she was doing that

so you were deathly worried

running over there when it was safe

“is everyone alright?”

“define ‘alright’” -gray

“we’re fine, y/n” -zach

“are you okay?” -dad

“yeah, i think so”

this final battle between the dinosaurs was a bit shocking to watch, but it was hard to keep your eyes off

it all wrapped up and the dinos were let loose

and......the park got closed down

you and your dad were unemployed effective immediately

but your dad and claire finally got together

“you guys are sweet but are we all going to fit in that little camper?”

“we’ll make it work”

they did for a while

but there was a lot if arguing

your dad wanted to reside in the camper forever, claire didn’t, they broke up, you stayed with your dad to help him out during hard times, he decided to build a cabin

he claims he was not affected by the breakup but you knew better

you and your dad had an unbreakable bond, you’d been through so much together

it was only a matter of time before the world had something new in store for you and dad

taglist:

#owen grady #owen grady x reader #owen grady imagine #owen grady x daugter!reader #owen grady x child!reader #grady!reader #jurassic world imagine #jurassic world x reader #jurassic world #dad!owen grady

[1zashreena1]

Quarantine- New Ranch Flavor! -5

18+, m/f, technically OCxDiego Jimenez [Power]

Summary: Princess is stranded in NYC with her Murder Panther for the duration of the quarantine. As a high risk patient she has no choice but to isolate as much as possible. Simulated domesticity ensues. Princess texts a running commentary to her bff Lisa.

WARNINGS: Ridiculous descriptions and ‘the code is more like guidelines’ outlook on grammar. Is it OOC if the character was given essentially zero development in canon???

No actual smut, nasty ass snack foods, plus size insecurity, unprotected sex, feels are icky, plus size woman+fit man, bad boys with too much money and not enough impulse control, secondary OCs, excessive swearing (???), illegal business dealings… I mean, its DIEGO

A/N: Princess took on a life of her own and has essentially become an OC. There are infrequent mentions of her description (specifically as plus size) and her actual name in later pieces (its Bicki). She started as self-insert so she looks like me (plus size, white, short, blue eyes, curly hair). If that is not your thing, I totally understand. And do not feel obligated to read this, I will not be offended!

I’m not a fan of “plot” so be aware that most of this series is just meandering through their relationship, angst-fluff-smut whiplash style. But with dick jokes.

TAGLIST: @chelsfic​ @symbiont13​ @nicke0115​ @bunnykjm​ @rosee-sensuelle​ @girlpornparadise​ @mandoplease​ @heresathreebee​ @xxsteph-enrixx​ @jetiikad​ @joalsglasses​ @mutantcookiesecrets​ @demoncatstone​ @squidlywiddly87​

Please let me know if you would like to be tagged.

~~~

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Thursday 11:22am

From Princess

Day 1 and I literally have an ice pack on my pussy and

Hold on he’s not wearing pants again gtg

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Friday 9:49am

From Princess

Video chatting with sister when Diego walks past in the background… shirtless.

She put her phone down (my entire screen was just ceiling) and I could hear her crying. Hung up after 10 min

~~~

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Friday 10:14pm

From Princess

He sucks ass at Jenga and its adorable

~~~

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Saturday 11:49am

From Princess

I was provided a to-do list for the day.

It's just his name

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Sunday 1:32pm

From Princess

We have sorted every liquid in the penthouse into 2 categories:

Potential Lube

Definitely Not Lube

Except we’re arguing about ranch dressing

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Sunday 2:17pm

From Princess

Update: Ranch went into the Not Lube category because it “smells nasty when it gets warm” This fact was previously unknown to me and I was afraid to ask for more details

~~~

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Monday 8:40am

From Princess

Morning announcements include the fact that 8:37 is the earliest he has ever gotten up

I’m worried about losing my job. Diego advises me to apply to Dyson because I “never lose suction”

Am I offended or proud of myself?  It’s not even 9am

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Tuesday 1:12am

From Princess

This is the most weed I have ever consumed in my life (I know, not a high bar) Why is he hanging upside down off the couch making motorboat noises??

~~~

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Tuesday 1:14am

From Princess

Ahh. He was composing a poem about my tits

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Tuesday 2:49am

From Princess

The railing up the stairs to the bedroom does not in fact support my weight. Pole dance competition is OFF

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Tuesday 2:57am

From Princess

You know that thing you do with my bras? Where you put it on like a headband and it makes mickey mouse ears?

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Wednesday 11:17am

From Princess

Julio required to give 10 min warning prior to arrival so Diego can take off his pants

Yes you read that right

Freak

~~~

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Wednesday 11:19am

From Princess

Yes you do so know who Julio is. Big, round, only wears ivory/eggshell/off white/ThisIsMy 2ndWedding  colored blazers. Jeez Lisa you're not old enough for dementia yet girl

~~~

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Wednesday 12:52pm

From Princess

I have played myself. Just ate an entire cheesesteak while being a cockwarmer

Turns out I’m the freak

Julio present and accounted for

~~~

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Thursday 9:37am

From Princess

He’s crunching  a bowl of something via spoon. I ask what it is. Crushed cheez-its and mayonnaise. What in the actual fuck this man is a literal monster

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Thursday 12:10pm

From Princess

Edible body paint works on windows. Had to sit on his shoulders but this is the largest ‘FUCK’ I have ever written. Very proud

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Thursday 12:22pm

From Princess

Bottom half of the ‘C’ has transferred onto my ass. But 7 orgasms. Pick your battles

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Thursday 11:47pm

From Princess

Tried a pickled habanero. He’s still face down in the rug crying with laughter. It’s been 10 min dude come on

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Friday 10:12am

From Princess

Me: Why are you so heavy?

Diego: I keep eating you

Me: High five

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Friday 3:17pm

From Princess

He’s trying to “conduct business” via 3 cellphones. Would offer my tablet but I’m too pretty for prison. Gonna take a nap

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Friday 4:41pm

From Princess

Pants are forbidden in the bedroom. We’re just making the rules up as we go I see

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Saturday 9:59am

From Princess

He’s sitting in the corner of the window walls staring dejectedly outside. I hear the tiniest forlorn whisper “THOSE people are outside”

Too cute--must blow---BRB

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Saturday 1:32pm

From Princess

Angry texting. Muttering “No I can’t go outside and no you can’t come in here. Bitch…. No no, delete delete delete”

Me:  Where is your sister anyway? LA?

Him: Very Squinty Eyes

~~~

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Saturday 9:22pm

From Princess

My ass is stuck in the kitchen sink. While he was very helpful getting me in here he is of no assistance getting me out.

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Saturday 11:46pm

From Princess

Apparently ‘douchecanoe twatwaffle jerkface’ is the most hilarious insult he has ever heard. My brilliance is unparalleled

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Sunday 5:51am

From Princess

Me: Hey what’s the worst thing you’ve ever put in your mouth?

Him outrageously offended: I’m not answering that!

Him:  ... you first

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Sunday 7:12pm

From Princess

Is it a legit massage if he has to pause in the middle to jack off?

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Monday 11:06am

From Princess

Ordered groceries via Amazon Prime drone delivery. Sitting on the rooftop patio wrapped up together in a ginormous blankie waiting.

Does this count as a date?

~~~

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Monday 1:13pm

From Princess

Drone arrived. I lost my shit. Coolest thing ever. He’s frantically ordering more stuff because I haven’t looked this ecstatic since the time he rubbed my feet then went down on me for 2 hrs

Hold up change of plans

~~~

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Monday 2:28pm

From Princess

stubble burn on bottom of feet :-/

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Monday 6:44pm

From Princess

We can both fit in the jacuzzi tub. Almost drowned when his phone rang and we both spazzed out

~~~

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Tuesday 10:10am

From Princess

Today’s formal edict: He will only be referring to himself in the 3rd person. I am required to do as told. Should not be this turned on

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Tuesday 11:58am

From Princess

Watching him try to answer calls like this is a level of hilarity I could not have predicted

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Tuesday 1:53pm

From Princess

He gave me a crash course in chem. Still don’t know anything but it was hot as hell

~~~

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Tuesday 2:57pm

From Princess

Despite all evidence to the contrary I’m a Good Girl. Did as I was told. Got rewarded. 13 times

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Tuesday 5:33pm

From Princess

Unlocked a tiny piece of tragic backstory*™: He’s never been to a zoo   :-(

~~~

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Wednesday 11:24am

From Princess

Julio and Bastian brought 4 pizzas. Currently eating them individually sitting in a giant square in the living room SOCIAL DISTANCING

Like he wasn’t inside me 10 min ago wtf

~~~

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Wednesday 11:25am

From Princess

Yes cute driver Bastian. Btw you are barking up the wrong tree girl. His favorite animal is bears lol

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Wednesday 12:39pm

From Princess

Garlic butter: lube or no? Round table discussion happening.

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Wednesday 1:19pm

From Princess

I won in favor of No

Me: slams hands down on table

Me: HAVE YOU EVER HAD A YEAST INFECTION???

All men present:   :-[

                             :-[

                             :-[

~~~

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Wednesday 1:32pm

From Princess

Diego: puts garlic butter cup in the empty box and slides the whole mess off table to the floor without breaking eye contact. My sugar daddy is truly a murder panther

~~~

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Wednesday 3:49pm

From Princess

Flipping channels (he only has 5000) when he comes downstairs from the bedroom wearing Ginormous Blankie as cape.

Him: Can we do the thing again?

Me: Gotta be way more specific babe

Him: Flaps blankie like wings and gives me puppy dog eyes

Him: You know. Thing. On the roof. ...please?

Did

Did he just ask me to cuddle???

~~~

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Wednesday 5:58pm

From Princess

Can confirm roof cuddles.  He fell asleep with his face mashed into my neck-shoulder after watching sunset. Every time I move he whimpers and squeezes tighter. I don't know what is happening but it kinda hurts in my chest

~~~

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Wednesday 9:12pm

From Princess

Me: You know those girls you send away when I come up? There's one that sorta begrudgingly likes me?

Him, stuffing a 2nd Oreo into his mouth(there's already a whole 1 in there)

Him: Frahnthessga?

Me: Yeah! Can I fuck her?

….I should worry about my job again pretty sure Murder Panther Sugar Daddy is dead

~~~

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Wednesday 10:48pm

From Princess

We splintered the plexiglass-divider-shower-wall thingy. His solution was to just hold all 215lbs of me up in the air and finish. I have no words

~~~

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Thursday 4:12am

From Princess

I can hear him on the phone downstairs listing names. I don't know these people. I'm going in the bathroom to run water so I can't hear anything else

~~~

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Thursday 9:02am

From Princess

I slept thru a breakfast meeting. There's a laptop  and a box of 1 doz Boston cream donuts labeled PRINCESS on the bar counter. He's watching news with Julio + Bastian on the couch. Odd but ok I got fave donuts so whatevs

~~~

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Thursday 9:17am

From Princess

On 3rd donut when I catch him staring. Can only see from eyes up bc he's peering at me over back of the couch. Have inadvertently activated Horny Murder Panther mode via accidental slutty licking of cream filling. 

~~~

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Thursday 11:40am

From Princess

Me: I don't like avocado

Diego: bitch what the fuck 

~~~

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Thursday 12:10pm

From Princess

He asked what the deal was with white people and meatloaf. I requested clarification on food or music. He's confused it's fucking adorable

BUT NOW I HAVE TO EXPLAIN THE ENTIRE GENRE OF CLASSIC ROCK

~~~

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Thursday 2:14pm

From Princess

I'm making a meatloaf for dinner. Also brownies. TV is still on???

~~~

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Thursday 4:24pm

From Princess

Found a big round can of guava paste in the back of the fridge. He's spoon feeding it to me while watching me make meatloaf

Diego: I did not realize you were so… domesticated

Me, no brain to mouth filter: Yeah well gettin dicked down 3x a day will do that to a girl

Please send hitman asap 

~~~

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Thursday 5:10pm

From Princess

He just turned TV off. Local news was listing all major crimes in NYC today. Last story was 6 bodies found inside meat plant freezer, execution style kills with "on-site" equipment. When I whisper Dafuq??  he distractedly mutters 'captive bolt pistol'  

He's texting again

~~~

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Thursday 5:39pm

From Princess

I kinda wanna come home now

~~~

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Thursday 7:48pm

From Princess

I have converted another person to meatloaf lover (food not music)

On 3rd brownie when he declares: I am never letting you leave again. Mine now

Look up from rolling my eyes to receive Super Intense I Can See Into Your Soul Diego Stare

~~~

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Thursday 9:50pm

From Princess

He's looking for a scary movie via voice command on remote. Other hand is on my foot. I can't even see my foot. What is the actual purpose of hands that big?? What is the evolutionary goal to this endgame? ?? Why am I wet just thinking about a    h a n d    ?????

~~~

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Friday 12:34am

From Princess

Con: This asshole is delighted to learn that I don't like scary movies

Pro: Hiding my face in his chest means I fucking feel the rumble when he laughs at me. I think I'm developing a heart condition. Hurts again.

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Friday 1:40am

From Princess

He's rubbing his face all over my stomach. I don't like this. Sir why. Please it's literally the least attractive part of me

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Friday 2:11am

From Princess

He likes it…? I don't see. How does. But it's.

No

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Friday 3:47am

From Princess

He's asleep on my stomach after spending 40 min declaring his love for belly

I'm crying and I can't stop. My whole chest hurts. What is this. Is this the most long game prank ever. There's no way he's for real. I'm afraid. Do you think I should try to escape?? Please you know I'm not easily frightened but I just. Please text back I need my BFF

~~~

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Friday 7:18am

From Princess

Woke up in bed alone and naked. Gonna grab a shirt and handle this. I can't just ignore it. This is probably a bad idea but I can't just let it go. If you don't hear back from me by noon call my parents. I love you

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Friday 11:38am

From Princess

Halfway down the stairs 3 dudes I don't know come out of the office, Diego and Julio follow. They take 1 look at me and launch into laughter and some rude fucking spanish. I'm rusty but I know fucking "fat bitch" tyvm. Diego picks this mf up by the throat and throws him into the elevator. Drags the other 2 in and... no one has come back since

Been locked in the bathroom. I'm afraid to hear anything

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Friday 1:48pm

From Princess

Relocated to closet earlier. Reading. I'm 2 chapters in and I don't even remember the title. Gonna take an ativan. Hands are shaking

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Friday 2:27pm

From Princess

You know what? I don't even care. Like as long as it's never directed at me I just don't care.

It's too late I'm in too deep. I don't know if I can even come home after this. I'm not who everyone thinks I am. I don't know who I am. I'm turning the phone off now I'm sorry but I just need everything to stop for a while

~~~

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Friday 7:48pm

From Princess

I'm ok, sorry for the dramatics. Woke up still in the closet corner but under Ginormous Blankie and can hear shower running. Decide it's time to put my big girl panties on and march in there. No I did not learn from the last time. Standby

~~~

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Friday 9:22pm

From Princess

We're good.

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Friday 11:49pm

From Princess

Ok. Marched into bathroom, launched into speech: I'm sorry but I did not know anyone was here. You have to leave me a note or something. Please tell me I did not ruin anything

Him, still in shower: Get your ass in here.

It was a literal growl

~~~

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Friday 11:50pm

From Princess

Apparently that guy had been fucking up small time and Diego was waiting for him to fuck up big time. I will never see all 3 of them again (No do not ask)Yes it was frustrating but not mad at me. Ok a little because his sister hired that guy and now he has to explain the dude's ...disappearance. Without mentioning me. No one can know about me I am a "liability"

Um ouch..? I think?? Chest pain again

~~~

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Friday 11:51pm

From Princess

He's been asleep, I'm just staring at the ceiling. Demanded I let him prove that he would never put hands on me that I don't want. I thought he was gonna cry. I did start crying but said yes. Not gentle per se, but definitely ...emotional? Like soft sex. Slow soft sex but with emotions?? I'm lost

~~~

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Friday 11:54pm

From Princess

Please tell me no. Talk me out of this. Tell me I'm fucknuts and I need to just come home and be reasonable and sensible. You know when you stand at a ledge and a little voice tells you Just jump. Do it. Go

Do I want all in? Can I do this? I should not do this. I should not care about him. Especially like this. I just. When I'm not here this is all I think about. No one else makes me feel this way

~~~

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Friday 11:56pm

From Princess

I'm hysterical right? This will go away if I just sleep. I can't stop looking at him. Touching his face, hair. Ever since the Kitchen Blowup (after the first fight??is it a fight if you're not technically in a relationship?) he's been different. Careful?? Like he really listened to me and heard. I can see him trying. Like reining in his knee jerk reactions and stopping to think before he says stuff to me. What am I supposed to do?

~~~

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Friday 11:59pm

From Princess

I want to trust him. I want to be spoiled and fucked senseless and all the giggles and private planes and shopping sprees and sleeping in til noon. But what about the other side? Constantly looking over my shoulder? Worrying that he might not come home from whatever the fuck he's out doing? The other actual supermodel hot women??? I'm not naive.

~~~

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Saturday 12:10am

From Princess

I just need to turn this off. Shut it down. Cut off emotions and just fuck. I can't do this and I can't have him for keeps. So it's time to be realistic. After this shitty quarantine ends I'll take whatever cash he wants to give me and go home. I can move if I have to. It's not hard to change your name these days. This whole nightmare will be the hilarious rumors in my future nursing home

~~~

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Saturday 4:44am

From Princess

Got up at like 350 for the bathroom. When I crawled back into bed he yanked me backwards to be smashed into/under him. Buried face into my hair and ordered:

Stop

Leaving

~~~

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Saturday 9:10am

From Princess

Woke up alone. Gathered shirt. Did surveillance from top of stairs. Music blasting. Bastian and Diego are working out. I had to sit down for a while

~~~

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Saturday 9:40am

From Princess

Finally made it down the stairs. Eating donuts while watching live action porn

~~~

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Saturday 10:27am

From Princess

Show's over. Diego announces he is going to shower with a wink. I am staying on this barstool with my donuts. I am determined

~~~

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Saturday 10:38am

From Princess

Sharing donuts with Bastian. He is staring at me

Me: ...wut?

Bastian: You know I haven't driven Franchesca anywhere in 4 months

I don't know how long I've been sitting here staring at this half eaten donut but Bastian is gone

Shower still running

~~~

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Saturday 1:36pm

From Princess

Slut level 7: Shower blowjob

Realized I have to wash my hair now. He demands to do it??

Diego: How much fucking conditioner is this going to take?

Me drooling blissfully: Uhhh... please not that word right now

...I literally heard Horny Murder Panther transition happen.

He did not touch anything but my head. Came via voice command. How the fuck

~~~

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Saturday 1:39pm

From Princess

Then it was Round 2 still dripping wet in the bed. No idea how he recovered that fast not looking gift horse in the mouth.  Haha   Horse

Also slow soft again? Does this mean something?? I feel like I'm missing some key piece of info. Never had a dude like kiss all over my face and stroke my hair. What is this gentle?? Don't like the whole looking into my eyes thing

~~~

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Saturday 3:02pm

From Princess

Received an assignment. Was trying to budget for next month (on my new laptop! Whole Microsoft office package!! SPREADSHEETS!!!)

Instructed to help fix what I fucked up…?

It's resumes. He wants me to look at resumes.   Um

~~~

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Saturday 4:12pm

From Princess

We traded laptops. I picked 3 resumes for 'warehouse labor'  This is fucking surreal

Got my laptop back and… all the internet tabs were closed?? I was paying all my bills dude wtf. His phone rings but before he walks off tells me the title will be mailed to me. ?????

~~~

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Saturday 4:47pm

From Princess

He's still in the office on the phone. I'm in the closet in shock. He paid my loans. He paid my Loans. He Paid My Fucking Loans OFF

CAR

STUDENT LOANS

$$$$$   30,000  $$$$$

THIRTY GRAND

~~~

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Saturday 4:52pm

From Princess

No you can't have him if I don't want him!! Fuck you

~~~

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Saturday 5:32pm

From Princess

Bastian came back, left a big box on the counter, said "This is for you honey" and left again. Diego still in the office.

...should I open it or wait for him to come out??

~~~

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Saturday 5:36pm

From Princess

Fuck it. I'm opening this shit

~~~

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Saturday 5:42pm

From Princess

It's a very large Brahmin bag.

Holy fuck its gorgeous 

~~~

Incoming Text

Saturday 5:47pm

From Princess

You know what? You Know What?

IT'S KITCHEN BLOWUP 2.0 TIME

~~

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Sunday 8:42am

From Princess

I think we're ok? I actually uh, accidentally recorded um… everything-ish. And I might send it to you later. But right now things are kinda wobbly and I just wanna enjoy everything while I can. I'll check back in later. We're going to bed now

~~

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Sunday 1:58pm

From Princess

Woke up to 1 gigantic hand stroking down my back. 2nd hand stuffed up my pussy to the knuckle. Villain voice directly into left ear. Memory hazy after that

~~

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Sunday 3:01pm

From Princess

Do Oreos in bed at 3pm count as breakfast? My hips hurt

~~

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Sunday 6:40pm

From Princess

Ok we all know I'm very much A Freak. Trysexual if you will. Only way to know you don't like it is to try it right? So anal. Never really worked. Great in theory really unpleasant in practice.

Turns out others were trying to insert the wrong appendage. Related: I fucking love beards

e v e r y w h e r e

~~

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Sunday 10:40pm

From Princess

Yes I know you wanna know about KITCHEN BLOWUP 2.0, someday I'll tell you about v.1. It's complicated. There are feels. I can't take the vague, wishy washy, up in the air status. So it went kinda like this

Me: You want to "keep" me? Wtf does that even mean?? And how, via purchasing me??? Don't get me wrong, I like being spoiled. I'm not an idiot. But you don't even know me

He looked like I stabbed him. It was horrible

~~

Incoming Text

Sunday 10:42pm

From Princess

So I laid it all out: I lived in my car for a while in my 20s. Escaped an abusive ex after 8 yrs. Survived cancer at 26. Did 2 rounds of trade school just to be scraping by at like $15 an hour. That you just paid off like it was nothing. You try to protect me from you and your life. But you have no idea what I've already survived.

So here's the deal: You wanna keep me?? Then I get to keep you.

But it's everything. If I can't have everything then I don't want anything. And if it can't be ONLY me then I gotta go. I'm not a back up plan or a convenience.

~~

Incoming Text

Sunday 10:50pm

From Princess

At this point I'm scream-crying, gesticulating like I'm hysterical. He's collapsed on the floor at my feet looking like I just killed his dog. Only makes me worse. I'm demanding an answer right fucking now. This is a disaster.

~~

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Sunday 10:54pm

From Princess

He starts yelling about how he can't keep me if I'm dead. This isn't a fucking game and I'm just like Do I look like I'm playing right now?!?

Lisa, he was crying. Just kept repeating "She's right. She's fucking right. That bitch is right."

Head in his hands sobbing.

I couldn't. 

~~

Incoming Text

Sunday 10:59pm

From Princess

So I got down on my knees in front of him and reached for his hands. Just like the first blowup. I was terrified because he's obviously not in control and like I don't know the things he does but I Know. And the PTSD from ex… but I finally got him to look at me and asked him to just Tell Me.

And he did.

~~~

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Monday 12:04am

From Princess

If you had told me that night in the club that any of this would happen. That this man was capable of everything these past 10 months have brought. I would've taken you to the hospital myself.

He collapsed on me and was just begging me "Don't go don't go. Please stay. Stay just for now. Please. No one else no one."  I have a lot to consider. Probably gonna be quiet for a few days. I'll text you when things calm down. He's asleep on my chest right now

~~~

Incoming Text

Monday 12:10am

From Princess

I mean 10 months...how many weekends have I been up here? 12? 16? And only twice did I reach out first and ask. I have stuff here. You saw the closet section. Every time I arrive there's coke and ketchup in the fridge. My face wash and toothbrush and a huge bottle of gel in the bathroom. Last time here he gave me the safe combo???

~~~

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Monday 12:14am

From Princess

YES THE SODA JFC

I mean, I've never seen ...other… in the fridge. I don't think it needs to be refrigerated???

I Don't Know Okay

~~~

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Monday 6:40am

From Princess

Woke up around 5 and he was just staring at me from like 2 inches away. He left once he realized I was awake. I didn't follow. He still hasn't come back to bed yet. Should I go find him?

~~~

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Monday 11:38am

From Princess

Found him on the couch. Coffee table covered in vast array of firearms. Did not realize there were so many in this penthouse. Little uncomfortable. But I'm a fast learner with good mechanical skills so now I can do gun stuff. Please don't ask me about it

~~~

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Monday 11:41am

From Princess

Ok yesss. We had the stupid movie cliche moment of big tough guy stands behind damsel to teach some physical skill. Gawd.

...yeah doing it feels better than watching. You happy now???

~~~

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Monday 2:28pm

From Princess

Mood swing. He declared vengeance on behalf of his closet. I have worn too many shirts. This cannot continue. ????? Stay tuned

~~~

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Monday 2:59pm

From Princess

This man runs the largest distribution enterprise in the western hemisphere.

Currently stuck in one of my $6 tank tops from Target. 

~~~

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Monday 4:17pm

From Princess

I'm out a tank top. And a thong. Go ahead and just think about that

...But I'm still wearing one of his shirts :-D

~~~

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Monday 5:48pm

From Princess

Instead of admitting defeat he decided to forcibly remove the shirt from me. Since I have to be difficult, I ran. If this place wasn't soundproof there would be so many police here.

What level of fucked up is it to enjoy screaming No!, while struggling, not less than 3 sec prior to orgasm??

~~~

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Monday 5:52pm

From Princess

The scale only goes to 10. You don't gotta be a bitch. Damn

~~~

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Monday 8:17pm

From Princess

14 days will be up this Thursday. But they're talking about extending it, really bad here. I'm scared. Gonna try a drink, maybe ativan because I'm starting to freak out.

~~~

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Monday 9:57pm

From Princess

Watching the news and I just sorta came unglued.  Diego not really a soft/gentle guy (obvs) but once I got thru a blubber-cry explanation of immuno-compromised and cancer treatment I got full lap cuddles. I want this every time I'm upset. Warm and solid and big hands and soft nuzzles and scratchy velvet cheek kisses. Feel so tiny and safe

~~~

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Monday 11:40pm

From Princess

Think I'm fukced up. Everything feels good. Petting all the things

~~~

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Monday 11:44pm

From Princess

I'm fiiiiine. One drink. Once ativan. Thats it

~~~

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Monday 11:49pm

From Princess

Omgod ill be fine it's good donot call me

~~~

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Monday 11:55pm

From Princess

What are fiddlesticks? Like the worrd not a instrument accessory?why do we say that

~~~

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Tuesday 7:42am

From Princess

Holy shit I slept so good. I looked back thru the texts. Wtf was I doing?? I don't remember any of this

~~~

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Tuesday 8:32am

From Princess

He's giving me that all teeth smile. I'm very suspicious. And surprisingly not horny?? Am I dying?

~~~

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Tuesday 9:46am

From Princess

Have been informed that I was very adorable last night. I'm afraid to learn his definition of adorable

~~~

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Tuesday 10:12am

From Princess

Omg he has 3 hours of video

~~~

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Tuesday 11:17am

From Princess

I spent 45 min yelling about Pluto planet status being revoked and the kilogram definition being forever altered. He was very invested in the 2nd part. Legit academic discussion

~~~

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Tuesday 11:49am

From Princess

Next part: I decided to make a fried egg sandwich. He started recording like a cooking show. I almost lit my hair on fire.

~~~

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Tuesday 11:57am

From Princess

Oh I see where everything went wrong. I had 1 drink and 1 ativan. Then I finished his drink. Then I drank his replacement. Why tf did he let me do that??

"You were so cute! How could I say no to this face, bonita?"

...I will remember that

~~~

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Tuesday 12:13pm

From Princess

Apparently we exchanged playlists. This is not good

~~~

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Tuesday 12:28pm

From Princess

Omg I revealed the Murder Panther Sugar Daddy title. Oh fuck. Shit shit shit

~~~

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Tuesday 12:42pm

From Princess

I spent 40 min petting him all over while listing everything I liked and why. He is going to be insufferable for forever after this

~~~

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Tuesday 1:22pm

From Princess

Lisa. Lisa. Holy shit. He said we made a porno. I laughed. He fucking narrated an opening to it. I am dying  I am going to die   I am dead

Him, offscreen: Diego and Bicki make a Porno!

Me, onscreen, twerking on the bed in lace bra

Me: eeeeeeeeeeeeeee ASS AND TITTIES!!!

Diego pops into shot, giggling: Pretty Princess Pussy!!

The whole thing just dissolved into shaky blur and us laughing hysterically

~~~

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Tuesday 1:24pm

From Princess

No I'm not sharing it. What is wrONG WITH YOU??????

~~~

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Tuesday 3:44pm

From Princess

It… did not go the way I thought it would. And apparently he had not watched it either because we were both surprised.

That. Was not sex. Seeing the soft slow with emotions from the outside was pretty damning.

That was lovemaking

~~~

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Tuesday 6:32pm

From Princess

I'm locked in the bathroom. Everything is fucked.

I just… I just hid my face and said "I want to go home." Like a fucking coward hiding behind my hair, I took off upstairs and now I'm here. It's been a long time. I'm still alone

~~~

Incoming Text

Tuesday 6:39pm

From Princess

No shit Sherlock, I know I have intimacy issues.

Men don't love me. Sure I'm fun to fuck for a while. But they don't take a poor fat girl home. Come on, you've seen it firsthand. Clearly, since here I still am by myself

~~~

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Tuesday 6:42pm

From Princess

I don't know what I was thinking. I don't belong here. Guess I'll just ride out the last 2 days then come home

~~~

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Tuesday 6:45pm

From Princess

I think Julio is here. I can hear their voices but can't make out the words

Oh no his sister is here. They're yelling in Spanish, I can't catch any of it

~~~

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Tuesday 10:14pm

From Princess

They screamed for a while, then she finally left. Been silent ever since. I don't know if he's still here

~~~

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Tuesday 10:40pm

From Princess

He's definitely still here. There's a tantrum going on

~~~

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Wednesday 12:32am

From Princess

Fell asleep in the closet corner again. Except when I woke up he was wedged in there with me

Me: … um

Diego: I think I see why you do this

Then he went to sleep on me

~~~

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Wednesday 5:48am

From Princess

Have been talking since 3. Still in the closet.

~~~

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Wednesday 7:10am

From Princess

I'm coming home when this is over. I need some time and space to think. 

~~~

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Wednesday 7:12am

From Princess

Is that even the right term? Do you 'break up' with a sugar daddy???? 

~~~

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Wednesday 7:13am

From Princess

NO I WANT TO KEEP HIM

BITCH I WILL STAB YOU

~~~

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Wednesday 7:16am

From Princess

Gonna shower and go to bed. You mention that last text and I literally will stab you. BFF or not

~~~

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Wednesday 4:40pm

From Princess

Just listened to an hour of descriptions of Mexico.

I am… tempted

~~~

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Wednesday 6:54pm

From Princess

I'm flying home Friday, they just lifted the travel ban here.

~~~

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Wednesday 6:59pm

From Princess

No, no one is happy here. We're both clingy disasters today

~~~

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Wednesday 7:17pm

From Princess

Went downstairs. It's a war zone. We came back upstairs 

~~~

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Thursday 6:19am

From Princess

Couldn't sleep so I'm packing. Diego is watching me from the bed with the biggest, saddest puppy dog eyes in existence.

Effect kinda ruined because I can see his bare ass

~~~

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Thursday 6:22am

From Princess

Why would you ask me that? You know he's an exhibitionist 

~~~

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Thursday 6:23am

From Princess

I can't decide if you're the Best or the Worst BFF ever. Gawd

~~~

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Thursday 6:25am

From Princess

...IMAGE LOADING…

~~~

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Thursday 6:27am

From Princess

Yeah. You see my dilemma now???

~~~

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Thursday 6:28am

From Princess

Yes I bite it! What is wrong with you today???

~~~

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Thursday 6:43pm

From Princess

He spent entire day attached to me. I..??? What do I do with a clingy cartel boss drug lord?? Its too much

~~~

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Friday 8:52am

From Princess

I'm on the plane. He rode here with me. Looked so… broken. Feel like a monster. But I'm scared

~~~

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Friday 1:45pm

From Princess

Lisa. LISA. LISA.

I'm home but but he. Omg

~~~

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Friday 2:38pm

From Princess

There's a tiny stuffed panther in my bag with a note:  I just want to be with you

My very own Tiny Murder Panther 

#damnit diego #murder panther #zash writes #24 fucking 7 hours in this house #rough me up then dick me down #so many feels #literally filth #nasty ass food

[sailorbellewrites]

Fools Rush In... X

characters — yoongi x reader (ft. members of bts and other original characters)

summary — min yoongi, music executive and perpetual bachelor, marries a las vegas stripper he’s only known for six months. chaos ensues.

inspiration —  fools rush in (1997 rom-com starring salma hayek and matthew perry)

information — a drabble series loosely based on the 1997 movie fools rush in. drabbles not posted in any linear order and written as a creative writing outlet.

warnings — mentions of sex work; age-difference; light sugar daddy themes; smut; light angst (specifically in parts V & VI).

I - II - III - IV - V - VI - VII - VIII - IX - X - XI

X  — photograph (ft. namjoon & taehyung)

Yoongi fucked up.

See, he never really thought of himself as a jealous person. He couldn’t be bothered to confront his ex-wife on her cheating, nor did he do anything about the men who fawned over his ex-girlfriend after her ballet performances. He was far more worried about his music career, his business ventures, and his future than he was about the other men trying to bed the women he was attached to. Hell, he hardly even thought of himself as attached to those women; but you changed that. You make the flames of jealousy engulf his heart in a way he was never prepared for and he hates himself for it.

He knows that he should just trust you more; knows that when you meet Kim Taehyung and lean into the art curator with wide eyes, you are only doing so to be polite. You are not actually attracted to the younger man, you don’t actually find his demeanor charming, and you don’t actually believe that his custom painted Birth of Venus Doc Martens are the coolest shoes you have ever seen—you are just being nice, in spite of what your words and actions portray. 

Or at least, that is how Yoongi has chosen to rationalize the scene in his mind so he doesn’t go insane on the gallery floor. He almost lost it completely when you walked away with Taehyung to go view a mixed media piece more closely, but a quick reminder of all the business associates around him (former, present, and future) quickly set him straight again.

“This is hilarious,” Namjoon comments casually, slipping a glass of champagne into Yoongi’s hand. Yoongi says nothing, eyes still solely trained on the way your perfectly manicured fingers wrap around Taehyung’s bicep as you laugh at something he says. Now that it is front and center, Yoongi has never been more thankful for your insistence that he buy you a ring. “I didn’t know our Taehyung was so funny.”

“Be quiet,” Yoongi snaps back quickly, because nothing that has ever come out of Taehyung’s mouth has been that funny. 

“You are the one that said she needed more frien—”

“Not men,” Yoongi cuts his friend off, “and not Kim Taehyung.”

“Sounds sexist.”

“So be it.”

“I never knew you to be a jealous person.”

“It’s Kim Taehyung.”

“And?”

“You know how he is.”

“Wow, you really are jealous.”

Yoongi can only offer up a grunt. It was hard enough for him to accept your friendship with notorious flirt Park Jimin—the Wednesday afternoon lunches still bothering him more than they should, in spite of the continuously observed innocence of them. At least Jimin was mostly harmless; the same could not be said for Taehyung. The artist’s penchant for sleeping with married women was a well known fact in their social circle. The fact that you weren’t openly disgusted by his antics only caused Yoongi more discomfort. How could you not see that he was disingenuous?

“Do you want me to send Hana in there to stop it?” Namjoon asks, but he just shakes his head. You were still uncomfortable with Namjoon’s wife and her interference would only make things worse.

Suddenly, you turn your head and point to Yoongi with a bright smile, waving quickly when you make eye contact with him. Taehyung watches the small interaction with a smirk on his face, leaning in to whisper something in your ear that has you readily agreeing.

“Here comes trouble,” Namjoon murmurs quietly, putting on a delighted face as you and Taehyung begin to make your way over. Yoongi couldn’t be bothered to fake pleasantries like Namjoon, though he did feel a small wave of calm wash over him as you thread your arm through his, leaning your head on his shoulder and whispering a small “hi” in his ear. 

“Well hello again, old friends,” Taehyung starts, deep voice the very definition of cool. “I hope you don’t mind me intruding on your conversation.”

“Not at all,” Namjoon responds for them both.

“I’m actually over here to ask you a question,” he says, staring at Yoongi. You let out a small laugh in his ear, unintentionally setting off warning signals that whatever Taehyung was about to say was not going to be good.

“Let’s hear it,” Yoongi states dryly. 

“Well I personally think your lovely wife would be a fantastic addition to the project I’m currently working on, but she seems to think I need to run it by you firs—”

“Correction,” You cut him off, though in a tone that is much more gentle than Yoongi thinks Taehyung should be afforded. “I told him that you would have to approve of it and that I didn’t think you would. He thinks you can be convinced.”

Yoongi shifts to look at you more clearly, a single eyebrow raising in question. The last time you properly asked him for permission to do anything was when he first gave you his American credit card; you hesitantly called him while you were at work, standing outside of the club if the background noise was anything to go by. “The straps on my favorite pair of pleasers broke… can I use your card to buy a new pair—”

“Buy whatever you want,” he responded.

“They can get kind of expensive, though.” 

“Baby, I don’t even know what pleasers are. I gave you that card for a reason. Pay your rent, buy some lunch, buy the whole club if you want to.”

“I don’t want the club, I want shoes,” you had said with a laugh. 

“Just shoes? Hell, buy 5 pairs. Don’t ask my permission for silly shit.” So you took that statement as law, never asking his permission for anything again—until now.

“I think we can all appreciate the female form,” Taehyung said with a slight smirk, his eyes raking up and down your body just subtly enough that Yoongi would appear crazy for commenting on it. “My new project aims to highlight the beauty of the natural female form against the destructive forces of our world—floods, wildfires, pollution, and the like.”

“Interesting,” Namjoon remarks quietly, tone even enough to appear as though he has no dog in this fight. However, they all know there is a reason Taehyung isn’t asking Namjoon’s wife to appear in such a project. “But based on our good friend’s hesitancy, there seems to be a catch. I can’t let my friends enter into bad contracts. What exactly would she be doing?” Taehyung’s smile is full blown now, eyes lighting up as he begins to describe his idea in detail; and while it takes a good three minutes for him to get through the entire concept, Yoongi only hears three things clearly: pole dancing, nude, and fire. 

“Absolutely not,” Yoongi almost barks out, finding it hard to control himself at the thought of Taehyung seeing you completely nude. It didn’t matter to him that more men than he could count had seen you naked countless times before; those men weren’t Taehyung. He would rather die than let Taehyung anywhere near you nude. He barely liked him near you clothed.

“If it’s the fire you’re worried about, I promise I would keep her absolutely safe. I would never damage such beautiful art.” His words make Yoongi want to vomit. You and Namjoon laugh.

“No offense to your… art,” Yoongi states through gritted teeth. “But, I married her so that she wouldn’t dance for anyone else.” The statement wasn’t entirely untrue; while Yoongi didn’t have too much of a negative opinion on your dancing, you knew marrying him meant you had to stop. Therefore, you were confident in knowing exactly how he would react to such a request. 

“Oh, well that’s unfortunate,” Taehyung murmurs specifically to you, a light frown on his face. “I was really looking forward to spending time with you on this project. I guess it’s just not in the cards for us at this moment. Perhaps another time?”

“Mm, perhaps.” You answer, a gentle smile on your face. 

“Perfect. Oh, my darling I see some old friends I must say hello to. If you would excuse me,” Taehyung states with a quick bow to you before walking away. 

You wait until he is out of earshot to mutter darkly, “What a creep.” Namjoon laughs out loud at your words, patting Yoongi on the back in a joyous manner.

“You have a good one.” Namjoon states. “Do you know how much he was freaking out over here?” 

“I could see him.” You say, pressing a kiss to Yoongi’s cheek, causing him to grunt. “You know, you make a really funny face when you’re jealous. It’s kind of hilarious.”

“Stay away from Kim Taehyung,” he finds himself ordering.

You lean your head onto his shoulder. “You have nothing to worry about. I’m all yours.”

#bts scenarios #bts drabbles #suga scenarios #suga drabbles #yoongi scenarios #yoongi drabbles #min yoongi scenarios #min yoongi drabbles #min yoongi #suga #AU: Fools Rush In #sailor belle writes #taehyung drabbles #namjoon drabbles

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #453

“you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave”

What health problems run in your family? Diabetes, high blood pressure and cholesterol, depression, cancer, a LOT more that I'm forgetting. Where did you last have sex? I have zero memory of the last time that was, so I wouldn't know. But probably a bed? How long have you known your best friend? Since we were around 8 and 11. What’s something people criticize you the most for? That I rely on the computer too much. Are spiders scary? I mean some are, but they're also extremely fascinating animals that I really enjoy observing. Cheetos. Poofy or regular? Regular, for sure. The poofy ones get stuck in your teeth SO badly. What's your favorite music genre? Heavy metal. Be honest. What are you most afraid of? Doing nothing with my life. What's your favourite type of survey to take? The ones with really random questions that you don't see in every single one. However, I don't like "random" to where the questions are just inapplicable to almost everyone. I also enjoy questions that allow me to vent about stuff I have going on. If I'm in the right mood, deep questions are great, too. What was the last topic you read about? In detail? I don't know. What shirt do you wear the most? Besides tank tops, my Cloak "equal in our bones" Day of the Dead shirt. What's your go-to order from KFC? I don't eat at KFC. Did you have hand-me-down clothes when you were growing up? Yes. What was the last song you listened to? Well, NOW I'm obsessed with Violet Orlandi's cover of "Hotel California." I keep finding new songs that I just loop for days, man, lol. I'm still not over her "The Unforgiven" cover. Did you have long hair as a young kid? I did. How many songs do you know by the band you are listening to? I'm still listening to Violet's "Hotel California" cover, which is originally by The Eagles. I obviously know this song, as well as "Heartache Tonight." Probably more, just those are the two I know and like. What podcasts do you listen to, if any? I don't listen to any. What was your most recent binge watch? Gab Smolders' playthrough of Final Fantasy X. What’s the oldest thing currently in your house? Hell, possibly my bed frame. I don't know. If you use Snapchat, do you post to your story or send individual snaps more often? I don't have one. When was the last time you rolled your eyes? At what? Not too long ago. Mom said something that really annoyed me. Do you like mozzarella sticks? No. If you had to name one of your children after a friend, solely based on their name alone, who would you choose? Probably Alon. Everything about her is beautiful, ha ha. Have you ever watched anime porn? I can confidently say I have not... Are ladybugs cute? Yes! Would you wear something made from snake skin? Fuck no. I won't wear anything that comes from an animal. Will you leave the house without fragrance on? Yeah, idc. What’s the coolest thing you’ve ever done for a significant other? In art class, I made an anatomically correct heart out of clay and put it in a shadow box along with a poem as the background. I honestly really hope Jason still has it, because I worked my ass off on it. What do you think of naming your son after the father (ex. Roy Jr.): It's not my business what other parents name their kids, but for me personally, I really don't like it. Like... give your child their own identity. It also feels kinda arrogant to me? Like are you so important that you have to force your name onto your kid? Do you like Death Cab For Cutie? I only know "I Will Follow You Into the Dark," which I adore. Do walking near or past cops make you feel uncomfortable? Yes. I just feel like I'm doing something wrong somehow. Do you think stretching (or gauging) your ears is disgusting? When they get to a certain size, to me it is. Small ones are no biggie. What piercing or body modification do you think is really gross? Oh my god, those corset piercings people get on their backs. Just... no. What would you do if your bf/gf told you they were going into the army? I'd be fucking devastated, in a hypothetical relationship where we're serious. What is the nearest gas station called? Uhhhh... I forgot lol. The second-closest though, which is almost like, RIGHT beside the other one, is Sheetz. Do you think bearded dragons are cute? omg YES!!!!!!!! What is your father’s best friend’s name? Do you know them personally? I have no idea. Ever have a dream you’re being abducted by aliens? Was it scary? No. Are you someone who tends to take a whole lot of naps? Too many, honestly. I'm just like... always tired. What is your favorite nickname you like to be called? Why do you like it? Hm. My favorite I've ever had was "Bee," which Megan called me, but I don't like others calling me that. Ever meet someone whose house has burned down spontaneously? Yes, in middle school. Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like? I kinda am. I reached out to him. What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive? Guys: shoulder blades. Girls: hips. Any friends that you’d go on a date with? Yeah. I think I want to try that with Girt and see how it goes and decide what the fuck I want. Is it cute when someone calls you babe? It's funny, I used to hate that, but now I imagine I wouldn't mind? Do you like Muse? Yeah! "Unnatural Selection" and "Psycho" are especially BANGERS. What’s your favorite flavor of jello? Strawberry. What song is stuck in your head right now? I'm bingeing the absolute fuck outta the song I mentioned earlier, ha ha. Do you have a niece or nephew? I have a lot, but only three I see regularly. Have you ever been caught doing something REAL embarrassing by your parents? idk What did you receive for Valentine’s Day? I think Mom got me a chocolate bar? When was the last time you went to a cemetery, and why were you there? I want to say this was many years ago when I went with Colleen to her church. Her stillborn brother was buried there. Have you ever owned a plant? What was it? I grew habaneros once, along with some sort of succulents from Colleen. What was the most interesting animal you have seen in the wild? I saw a mink jump into the river once when I was out fishing with Dad at our favorite spot. Were you born in the state you live in? Yep. Always lived here. What’s a smell that makes you feel ill? Dog shit. Do you like to sleep? Yes and no. I like falling asleep if it's quick, because I'm all comfy, but I also dread sleep because of my nightmares. Even with my mask, they're starting to become regular again. After last night's, I am legitimately beginning to fear something is psychologically wrong with me. Like, I cried to my mom. Do you like the smell of gasoline? Ugh, no. It gives me a headache. Have you lost contact with anyone you wish you haven’t? Many people. Did you give anyone his/her first kiss? No. Should you ever have gone to the hospital but didn’t? Vice versa? No. Who do you miss the most? Jason. What do you miss the most? Being happy. What is your birthstone? Do you have any jewelry with it? Amethyst. I have a really cute guardian angel pin with one given to me by my grandmother. What is the last dream you remember having? Last night was... awful. I remember Mom and I getting in a MASSIVE fight, and also literally yelling at my late beloved dog something about crushing his head in if he didn't stop barking. Like I mentioned earlier, I'm really scared something is really wrong with me. Have you had a church confirmation, bar/bat mitzvah, or something similar? Growing up Roman Catholic, I had a Confirmation ceremony. What was the last baby animal you saw? I wanna say a puppy on Facebook. A friend just got one.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''hotel california'' by the eagles

[books-bring-you-to-wonderland]

Moo Rarepair HCs!!

Wrote some headcannons for my moo lovin pals, so enjoy! Moocat (Wildcat/Moo) -Every stolen execution in COD is another night spent on the couch. Tyler once spent a week straight on the couch and did not learn his lesson -Brock does not have the heart to tell his boyfriend that his energy drink line tastes like ass, and regularly sneaks redbulls into his office instead -Brock does love the Wildcast though, and while he doesn't feel like he would be interesting on the show, Tyler reassures the man he would love to have him on -Did I mention they're a Thanksgiving couple? Probably go all out each year, spending way too much on a way too big turkey and making more pies than anyone would ever eat -Brock absolutely spoils Kino- he got more Christmas presents than Tyler did, actually, and no, Tyler still isn't over it -They share shirts and hoodies like it's their own clothes- their closet is too jumbled to really even separate their clothes anymore -Tyler loves to be little spoon and gives his boyfriend the puppy dog eyes until he gets his way (and it always works too) -Brock always gets kinda whiny whenever Tyler has to leave for cons and events- he's usually not a complainer, but Brock's a homebody and Tyler leaving makes him kinda anxious. Tyler calls and sends snapchats frequently, and always picks up a gift for his boyfriend on his travels Moosey Mexican (Max/Moo) -They are the couple that has matching ugly christmas sweaters, his and her matching everything; they are corny and cutesy and it is adorable -Max will always shout "Honey, I'm home!" whenever he gets back from the store, and it never fails to put a smile on Brock's face -They're married; little barn wedding in the summer with all their friends and family. They got married at sunset and danced to La Vie En Rose while the frogs and crickets chirped faintly in the background. Now I wanna write their wedding what the fuck -They're the couple that comes over with a lasagna for their neighbors and they buy out all of the girl scouts of their cookies -They grocery shop together, and Max always wanders off because he loves to see the smile bloom on Brock's face when he spots him across the store -Max is the kinda guy to lay down his coat in a puddle for his date to walk over. He did it once with Brock and absolutely ruined his coat -THEY KISS IN THE RAAAAIN THEY KISS IN THE RAIN LIKE ITS A FREAKING ROM-COM -Disneyland vacations once a year; they're big dorks and buy matching mickey ears -Brock collects salt and pepper shakers, and he was kind of embarrased at first but Max thinks its the coolest thing and even built him a display case to show them all off Delimoo (Delirious/Moo) -Punklirious is the only delirious -Brock likes playing with Jon's piercings- and ends up buying him cute earrings whenever he finds them. Jon absolutely adores the little cheeseburger studs Brock bought for him for his birthday -I'm imagining Jon with shaggy black hair, and Brock loves to braid little flowers into it during the summer when their garden is in bloom -Brock did not get Jon onto a normal sleeping schedule- quite the opposite, because Jon has dragged his boyfriend into the depths of insomniatic hell and now they stay up till 4 am watching crappy netflix specials together -Brock is b i  g spoon -Delirious cant cook for shit but he can bake, and loves making Brock pies and cakes and cookies galore. Their friends are all pretty jealous -They sing way too loud in their car when the radio's blaring, and Jon usually forgets the words but he makes up for it in enthusiasm. -Jon loves Halloween for obvious reasons, and usually convinces Brock to do a couple's costume with him (Last year they went as Woody and Buzz, and it was actually pretty cute) -The puns. Jon laughs at every single bad dad joke his boyfriend tells, and Brock might blush at the attention but he's always so happy to know Jon thinks he's funny Septimoo (Jack/Moo) -GIMME SOME PUNK JACK WHO GUYS BY HE/THEY BECAUSE FUCK GENDER -Brock happily painting his boyfriend's nails and doing his eyeliner- Jack still can't get over having stuff near his eyes, so he always asks Brock to do it for him (which he happily does) -Jack will go out without a jacket and they get cold, like an idiot- but Brock is always happy to lend his joyfriend his jacket, even if it is a little big on Sean (Brock has some shoulders, what can you do?) -Brock just likes to lift his partner up- he used to move pianos, he's not afraid of some 5'twink with a bark worse than their bite (and Jack usually shrieks when they realize how far off the ground they are) -They feed each other candy and snacks when they're at the movies and drink a milkshake with 2 straws and it's c u t e  goddamit (the milkshake is strawberry or chocolate) -Jack's not much of a sports guy but he likes to see Brock get so excited over rugby and football, even encourages him to join the neighborhood team (and no, it's not just because Sean wants to see Brock in a uniform and football gear, no sirree) -Sean probably didn't believe Brock when he warned him not to play Maio Kart with Brian, but Sean truly has seen the error of his ways and is never touching his switch again after that -Brock never really liked coffee, but then he got a boyfriend who was addicted to coffee, and now he likes coffee (black, because it's the only way to drink coffee fight me on that) -Jack taking Brock to all the movie premieres he gets to go to, and they're both all snazzed up in nice suits and Brock's suit is a little tight around the shoulders because he's pretty broad, and Jack find themselves looking at their boyfriend's arms instead of the movie -Christmas is their holiday, enough said

#septimoo #moocat #moosey mexican #delimoo #bbs headcannons #bbs rarepairs #(to the tune of bill nye) MOO MOO MOO MOO MOO MOO

[takemealivelh]

What do we do then?

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

2.1k | Mentions of alcohol and sex | FEEDBACK IS ENCOURAGED AND APPRECIATED

The ride back to his place was all hands and tongue. He kissed me like he hadn’t kissed anyone in a while. His lips were full, plump, swollen, fast, edgy, desperate for my taste. I had never felt more desired.

Since we’d gotten in the back of the car, I couldn’t slow my racing mind down. All I could think, smell and touch was Luke. I wanted to be so close to him that the space we’d built in the last few months was nothing but a glitch. We were meant to be together, everyone knew that. Even I did.

As soon as Luke unlocked his front door, Petunia ran towards us with a happy bark. 

“Look who’s here!” 

He laughed and switched the lights on, his dog was already trying to knock us over. I closed the door behind us and let my backpack hit the floor. Petunia sniffed it, eager to find treats that made her stomach sick.

“No,” I smiled and crouched down to pet her. “You can’t go looking through my stuff, that’s not nice.”

“When has that ever stopped her?”

Luke was beautiful under the warm fluorescent light. He’d always been.

I realized I hadn’t been to his place in a while. The black leather sofa was pushed to the other side of the living room. He had moved his piano closer to the window. The place didn’t smell like beer or spaghetti. 

“I’ve been trying to be cleaner, can you tell?”

His laughter guided me through the entry hall and towards the kitchen. Petunia followed us. 

It amazed me how quickly I fell back into my own memories. Our dynamic, it seemed to defrost. It was intact. Luke called his pet over and she obeyed happily. He put a small handful of food on her plastic plate and then went straight to the fridge. “You want a beer?”

I’d taken off my jacket and perched myself up on the counter, admiring how his shoulders broadened when he bent down to inspect his refrigerator. I had missed the mundanity of our interactions. I had missed the way I stared at his ass when he wasn’t looking, and the way he joked how the room was hot when I was around. 

“Lager?” Luke brought two bottles and set them next to my thighs. They only emphasized the heat of my own body. 

“I don’t want to drink,” I told him. My fingers going for the ends of his curls, the pretty locks I had deprived myself of touching. His hair had grown longer and thicker. I wondered if he’d changed the brand of his conditioner. I wondered if he still practised his falsetto in the shower. “I want to be completely sober for this.”

Luke didn’t miss a beat, his lips were on mine as soon as the words left my mouth. The indents of his rings dug into my thighs. He squeezed them and guided them around his waist. I pulled him closer by dragging my ankles together. 

“I’ve missed you.” 

He whispered against my lips and traced his own down my chin, to the column of my throat. “I’ve missed you so much.” He kept repeating like a mantra.

My heart twisted up in a knot. This was the familiar feeling I got when someone decided to be close to me; when Luke got too close to me. The screaming voices were near, I knew that. And I knew that my next move was risky.

“Luke, stop.”

I didn’t yell, I didn’t blurt the words out. I placed a hand on top of his chest and pulled him away. The panic in his eyes made me sad. It was like he couldn’t believe I was putting him through this again.

“I’m scared, Luke.” I sighed and let my fingers play with the chain around his neck. I locked my eyes with his so he wouldn’t interrupt me, so he knew I wasn’t done. “I don’t want to lose you. Sometimes I feel like I need you more than I want to, and I don’t want to depend on you. You don’t need that.”

He tried to say something, he tried to step away but I held him tight between my legs. A scorching sting rushed over me when I felt his chest jolt beneath my hand. Petunia barked from the other side of the kitchen and I laughed, dropping my head forward, leaning my cheek against the top of his head. I hugged him and he hugged me back. I stroked his hair with my fingers as he breathed heavily against my chest.

I don’t think I’d ever told him why I didn’t want to risk our friendship. I don’t think he had understood my actions up to that point. My go-to answer had been as vague as it could get; I can’t. I just can’t. I had a habit of shielding myself behind concrete walls. Luke used to joke that I was an enigma, but I think it bothered him a bit. That night at Ashton’s place, I panicked because I knew that if I fell for him, it would be easy for me to lose myself.

I’ve always had an obsessive personality. I could get so attached to someone, to the point of driving them away. I didn’t want to push Luke away by being myself, so I left him before he had a chance to decide.

It never occurred to me that Luke could react differently to what my mind thought of. 

He squeezed my body in his arms, his face resting on the valley of my breasts. I could almost hear the train of thought going through his head. Incessant wheels going round and round.

We stayed like that for a while.

“What do we do then?”

His voice was calm enough to startle me. Luke was the person I wanted to be with. He was the person I wanted to kiss, fuck, laugh with, laugh at, cook for, strip for. I cupped his face between my hands and searched for his eyes. “We try.”

His pink lips spread into a bright smile. 

I decided that the fuzzy feeling in the pit of my stomach -and the way my eyes seemed to crinkle up by the work of a puppeteer- I decided it was love. And I promised myself that I would love him the way he deserved. 

He deserved the world. Luke was kind, he had a heart of gold. I admired the traits in him I wish I had. I wanted to be as funny and confident as he was, I wanted to be as much as of a daredevil as he was. I wanted to be open and vulnerable like he was. It seemed to bring more joy, a deeper love. 

There were things about him that drove me crazy, like his inability to be serious during soundchecks. Or his childish tantrums. Maybe I didn’t agree with every single thing he did or thought or spoke about, but I accepted it. That was the most important thing.

I respected him.

“I love you.”

“You said that already,” I teased him and kissed the skin between his eyebrows. My thumbs grazed the cheekbones adorned with gold. I smeared the glitter across his cheeks, making him look like an ethereal vision.

“I like saying it.”

“You’re so cheesy.”

I woke up the next day tangled up in his sheets. My boxer braids were messy, strands of hair poking out in every direction. I turned my head on the pillow, searching for the man’s face I had been fearing to love.

His eyes were closed and his breathing was steady. The faded gold made him sparkle beneath the morning sun, he was the closest thing to an angel. 

I remembered the first time we spoke, the first time it was just the two of us. I’d been hanging with their crew for a few days as I learned what needed to be done for their live shows. I was learning to work the console they brought everywhere, and I was learning what they liked and what they didn’t.

Luke had walked up to me at the end of rehearsals. “Hey,” he’d tapped my shoulder and introduced himself. He told me that he was glad to have me on the team, because I seemed smart and proactive. And because I had been the only sound tech, so far, to adjust the equalizer of his distortion the exact way he wanted it. 

“It’s like you’re in my brain.”

I reached my hand up to meet his hairline and traced a single fingertip down his skin. He scrunched his nose and brought a hand to scratch it in his sleep. 

“I love you,” I whispered.

“I know.”

His eyelashes fluttered open and I couldn’t help but smile. “I’ve been waiting a while for you to admit it.”

“Sorry it took so long.”

He intertwined his fingers with mine and placed a gentle kiss to the back of my hand. “It’s okay.”

His bedroom was quiet enough for us to melt into the sounds of our heartbeats. Our silence had been deafening. Luke pressed his lips to every one of my knuckles. I shuddered in his bed when he let go, and turned my attention back to the ceiling.

His giggles got the best of my curiosity. “What?”

“You look the exact same you did when we met.” Luke reached a hand towards the dishevelled end of my boxer braid. I furrowed my eyebrows, confused. But as soon as he started talking, I closed my eyes and let his words cradle my hazy morning brain. 

“That crew party. I’d fallen asleep on Calum’s couch that night you did your first show with us. I thought you were the coolest woman ever. I went to the bathroom and saw you laying on a mattress next to a guy I’d never met. You woke up and had a bit of drool on the corner of your mouth, and I thought you were cute. Your hair looked the way it looks now, like you had been fucked out the night before. I cursed myself for weeks. I wanted to be that guy.”

The laughter erupted from the pit of my stomach. When I turned to face him, Luke had the biggest grin on his face. 

“Was I really fucked out?��

He ran a hand through my face, cupping my cheek and then letting it slide down my neck. His eyes followed the movements against my skin. My naked chest reacted like kerosene to a lit match. “You look better now.”

“I feel better now.”

The morning hours stretched out like modelling clay. We spent our time being flirty and silly. I took a shower after riding him until his eyes hit the back of his head. With my hair wrapped up in a towel, I saw him waiting for me in the kitchen, wearing gym shorts and a white tee. He had gone to the bakery with Petunia, who was now drinking water from her bowl. 

“We haven’t had these in a while.” He smiled at me as he put half a dozen baked goods on a plate. They smelled delicious. Chocolate filling spilling out of the warm puff pastries. “Want some coffee?”

“Sure,” I nodded and sat down on his kitchen table. I stuffed half of a delicacy in my mouth, almost moaning at how good it tasted. 

“Hey! That’s not fair! Where are your manners?”

With a laugh, I wiped the corners of my mouth with a napkin. Luke brought over two mugs of coffee and sat in front of me. “So… I don’t want to be the guy who needs constant reassurance but I also don’t want to be the idiot who doesn’t ask.” He waited for me to take a sip from my coffee and then spoke again, “do we try?”

Domestic Luke, rockstar Luke. Best friend Luke, boyfriend Luke. Dom Luke, sub Luke. With bag under his eyes, with silver eyeshadow. Hair down, hair in a man bun. With a guitar or with a microphone. Going to concerts or staying in and playing video games. With his hands around my waist, around my neck. Gripping my ass, spreading me open. Kisses on my forehead, on my temples, on my lips, on my eyelids, down my jawline, at the top of my shoulder, on top of my stomach. Jokes about my choice of wardrobe, or my choice of beverages, or about my clumsiness. Teasing him about being a klutz himself.

I could play the infinite scenarios like a carousel. I liked what I saw.

“We try.”

-

This was the final part of this untitled Luke series. I hope you liked it.

TAG LIST

@brown-eyedshell​ @thew0rldneedsmcreycghurt​ @myloverboyash​ @hopeless-renassianceluke​ @dukesnumber1​ @rip-lukes-balsamic​ @angelbabylu​ @cal-pal-cuddles​ @ashtons-favorite​ @1dthewantedlove​  @problematicprincessa​ @heartbreak-5sos​ @bloodmoonashton​ @lilacsos​@irwinkitten​ @singt0mecalum​ @sublimehood​ @sugarcoated-pain​ @5sosnsfw​ @cal-puddies​ @lashtoncurls  @dweebluke​ @rosecoloredash​@sweetcherrymike​ @calumspeachy​ @ashtonsunshine​ @wonderland-irwin​@blackbluemichael@ashtonandcalslefthand @post-traumatic-mess @damselindistressanu @c-dizzle-swizzlex @mycollectionofnuts @calteahood @dammitbands @rainingcalum @cals-eyebrows @kingxnichole @placeoftime​ @aspiringwildfire

#5sos #luke hemmings #luke 5sos #luke hemmings blurb #luke hemmings blurbs #5sos blurbs #5sos blurb #5sos imagine #luke hemmings imagine #luke hemmings imagines #luke hemmings fic #5sos fic #luke hemmings smut #5sos smut

[the-golden-ghost]

Dracula: A Comprehensive Summary

(part 4. Now you all understand why this took 4 hours)

Chapter 19:

The Squad Discusses Renfield. Quincy’s like “okay dude either he’s an INCREDIBLY good actor, or you’ve got a sane man locked up in there”

Seward:  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

They all break into Dracula’s house and mess with his pet doggos cause whatever. He’s not there anymore

Mina sleeps late the next morning uh oh

Van Helsing decides to talk to Renfield again and Renfield tells him to go fuck himself

Mina has been having trouble sleeping, and hears the barking of dogs in her dreams. Does this sound familiar? We’re in for it NOW

Chapter 20:

Dracula moved houses and now lives in a beer dispensary cause you know why not

Renfield is starting to lose it again. He is now terrified and haunted by the souls of the living

Seward thinks he’s gonna become a cannibal, and start eating people hence the ‘soul’ thing

He keeps insisting that he only eats living things for their life, and does not want the burdens of their souls. Seward realizes that Dracula got to him somehow and is now trying to turn him into some sort of living vampire OH shit

They go away for a bit to plan more Dracula Slayin’ until Seward gets a message from the asylum that Renfield got in an accident

He is dying

Chapter 21:

So it turns out Renfield somehow ripped the skin off his face, caved his head in and snapped his own neck

How is this possible, you ask? IT’S NOT.

Someone DID that to him. And the culprit?

Yeah it’s Drac lmao

Renfield basically says that Dracula has been sending him flies and moths and shit to eat and Renfield was loyal to him because he wanted some of that power

But then Drac started trying to hurt Mina

And since Everybody Loves Mina, including Renfield, Renfield decided to just straight-up Fite Dracula with his bare hands and he lost miserably and got fatally injured

He presumably dies from his injuries but we don’t get to know cause the Squad leaves immediately after that and so we never find out the ultimate fate of Renfield  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

They hurry to Mina’s house and find some Freaky Shit going on.

Drac has her, is drinking her blood and is also making her drink HIS blood by holding her mouth to his chest which is like

Yuck

Drac bails when everyone comes in, and Mina is now Officially Cursed :(

So it’s only a matter of time before she ends up like Lucy...

Chapter 22:

The Drac Attack has caused Jon to lose it and Mina to think she’s cursed forever

Van Helsing’s like “nah you’re fine” and they go to a church to bless the devil out of her

Except all it does is burn a scar onto her forehead which makes everything worse honestly

Chapter 23:

Except PLOT TWIST now that Mina’s linked to Dracula she knows his every move. Suck on THAT, Drac!

So now even though she’s rapidly becoming a demon, they have a Spy on their side!

They keep breaking into Dracula’s hidey-holes to destroy his fake coffins but it doesn’t do anything really

They actually catch him one (1) time and try to kill him but he’s like “nah” and escapes

And leaves the country. Everyone is briefly like “oh cool problem solved” but Van Helsing is like “um no actually cause he still has Mina’s soul and if she dies even of old age without being freed she’ll still become a vampire” :(

Chapter 24:

ROAD TRIP TO TRANSYLVANIA

Eventually. Mostly they just Discuss it in this chapter

At first it’s just gonna be The Boys and they’re gonna leave Mina in safety and Jon to “protect” her (really it’s cause Jon is not well enough to go) but then Mina is like “no you need a spy so I’m coming too” and Jon, being the coolest and best husband ever, is like “I’ll go because my wife needs me :) “

Even though tbh she doesn’t but they love each other a lot

Ride-or-Die couple these two

Chapter 25:

Before they go a’Slayin’ Mina calls a meeting

And is like “hey listen if this ends up with me damned to hell for eternity to save you guys, I’m gonna fucking do it cause you’re my bros and I love you”

And then says “but get this: if there comes a point when I’m too far gone and there’s nothing left of me but a demonic shell, PLEASE fucking kill me.”

And they all agree to do it :(

Even though nothing could be worse for anyone than killing Mina. Since everyone loves her

And then, since it’s likely she’s not going to come out of this alive, Mina makes Jon read her burial service. :( But he doesn’t get all the way through because he’s too sad

Anyway FEELS OVER TIME TO SLAY A VAMPIRE

TRANSYLVANIA HERE WE COME

THIS ONE’S FOR LUCY and Renfield

Anyway it takes forever cause the train is delayed but that’s Eastern European rail service for you  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Chapter 26:

They travel slow. Mina is spying all the way via hypnosis and mental link with Drac.

Quincy is like “LET’S KILL DRAC WITH A GUN” like an American

Everyone preps Battle Stations and Van Helsing decides to stay with Mina cause “he’s old and can’t fight” which is coward talk but heck

Literally the last few chapters are mainly planning and traveling I’m sorry but it gets dull right before The End

Chapter 27:

The End

Mina hates garlic now lol (the locals keep putting it in their food)

The Boys (including Jon) go to Vampire Slay and Van Helsing stays behind with Mina, putting her in a Holy Circle so she can’t get out lest she go Full Vampire, and also so that Drac can’t get in and take her or something.

While they’re hiding out, Drac’s wives come and try to lure Mina to them. It doesn’t work. But Van Helsing is also unable to link her to Drac via hypnosis now :(

Everyone writes their goodbye letters to each other :(

Van Helsing actually discovers Dracula’s Final Coffin and fucks it up so Drac can’t get in and rejuvinate. Rock on

The Boys meanwhile find Drac riding along to his castle on a cart and break into the box he’s traveling in and all four of them Do A Stab on him. Which actually kills him! Who knew!

They didn’t even use garlic or anything just knives. It was really That Easy

Quincy got fatally wounded in the fight though, but as he’s dying he points up at Mina’s forehead, where the scar left by the blessing is gone, and she is free.

NICE EPILOGUE: Everyone is happy, Mina and Jon have a baby named Quincy, Seward and Arthur got married (Bram Stoker said Gay Rights) and Van Helsing is like... the Team Dad idk

And it ends the way it begins: with Everybody Loving Mina.

No literally the last sentence of the book is about how much everyone loves Mina lmao

And that’s a wrap on Dracula! Now you never have to read it, because boy oh boy is it ever a trip

#Dracula #and once again Fuck Tumblr for making me do this in parts!

[popatochisssp]

Fur a Good Time, Call... 13/15

Series: Undertale, Horrortale Relationship(s): HT!Sans/Reader, HT!Papyrus & Reader, HT!Sans & HT!Papyrus Chapter Warnings: discussion of past suicidal ideation

You work at an animal shelter. You love all your fuzzy buddies and can’t imagine a better job for yourself than looking after cats and dogs all day, even when the work is hard and often gross. What can you say? You’ve got a lot of love to give!

You’re just not quite sure yet how you feel about the new monster who’s been helping out these days, and this riddle wrapped up in an enigma is something you just can’t resist investigating…

AO3 Link

Heart

It’s far from the last time you go to Grillby’s.

Now that Sans has broken the metaphorical ice, he seems intent on keeping his promise to Grillby to do better. The cozy little monster pub quickly becomes a regular spot for you, lunch breaks and date-nights alike.

You meet the occasional human here and there, friends or dates of the regulars or just people lucky enough to have stopped in and gotten hooked on the fire elemental’s stellar cooking…but mostly you get to know the monsters.

Audrey’s fascinated by human cuisine and takes cooking classes with Burr every Thursday night. Apparently, it’s their designated couple’s activity, and they’re such a subtle pair you never would’ve guessed they were together until they told you.

Some weird cat guy whose real name you can’t get out of anyone for the life of you—surely he can’t actually be named Burgerpants?—loves coming in and getting really high in the corner booth. You’re not about to judge, though: he’s always wearing a retail uniform when you see him and however tense and stressed out he is on his way in, BP’s always chill and smiling on his way out, so whatever works for him!

The dogs are a hoot and a half, especially when they find out that you work with dogs for a living. They only get more excited to learn that you and Sans actually have a dog at home, which leads to Buddy coming to visit Grillby’s one night and…

Well…it’s a good thing that you’re already used to loud barking from your time at the shelter. Your ears didn’t stop ringing for hours after that night.

Dino gushes about his son, Franco loudly negotiates gigs over his bluetooth, and Grillby…

Grillby doesn’t say much, actually, but his warm and glowing presence behind the bar is steady and reassuring.

You love it.

You love Grillby’s, and you love all the incredibly sweet and fascinating people you meet there, but most of all, you love what going so often is doing for Sans.

He’s…lighter these days, a little more unburdened. He smiles easier, jokes quicker, laughs louder, and it’s delightfully different.

……No.

On second thought…it’s not different at all.

He’s still Sans—your Sans, all the way down to his marrow—but just…more.

It’s Sans the way he is when it’s just you and Papyrus around, but more often, even at work where he’s usually so closed off and shy, and it feels like the coolest damn thing to get to see other people finally getting to know the sweet and funny guy you care so much about.

Your relationship with Sans takes a nice, easy slide into the comfortable; so comfortable, in fact, that you manage to give poor Papyrus another conniption about it.

“What Do You Mean, You Don’t Have Anything Planned?!”

Silently, you and Sans share a look and shrug.

You know that you, at least, feel an awful lot like a kid being scolded by the teacher for not handing in an assignment. It’s hard not to feel that way with Papyrus looming over you, hands on his hips and impatiently tapping his foot.

“I Am So Disappointed,” he tsks, completing the illusion. “You’re Just Going To Sit Around The House Like Lumps—”

That had been your plan.

“—On Your Own Six-Monthiversary???”

“i don’t think that’s a thing.”

“Of Course It’s A Thing, Sans!” Papyrus snaps. “Human, Tell Him It’s A Thing!”

“……I…guess?”

“There, You See? They Agree With Me! You’re Being A Terrible Datemate!”

Okay, you can’t let that go unchallenged.

“I don’t think that, baby,” you say to Sans, quietly but Papyrus hears you anyway.

“Don’t Tell Him That! He’ll Never Learn Without Consequences!”

You raise your eyebrows. “He would learn with consequences?” you ask incredulously.

“………Stop Making Valid Points!” Papyrus demands in return.

“i feel so attacked right now,” Sans chimes in, but he’s laughing so you doubt his feelings are really hurt.

“Well, How Do You Think They Feel?! Look At Them!”

Sans looks at you and you smile up at him.

“yeah, cute as ever.”

“No! Heartbroken! Let Down! Devastated!”

You don’t really want to make Pap a liar… You frown, just a little bit, utterly fake and disingenuous.

“Yes, Perfect, Like That!”

It’s a struggle not to ruin the expression by laughing.

“Sans, Your Poor Human Naïvely Hoped Against All Logic And Reason That You Might Do Something Special For Them On This Most Important And Momentous Of Days! That You Would Go Against Your Very Nature And Find One Tiny Romantic Bone In Your Body— ”

“ouch, ‘tiny’?”

“—And Sh………You Are Vulgar, Oh My God! For Once In Your Life Of Laziness And Terrible Puns, Be Serious—And Don’t You Dare Say You Can’t Be ‘Serious’ If You’re ‘Sans,’ I Am All Too Aware That You Are Sans!”

You give up, you’re laughing.

Your boys are just too fucking funny, watching them argue is like watching the best improv sketch you’ve ever seen.

“Look, You’ve Made Them Hysterical!”

“oh no. i’m the worst.”

“No One Is Arguing That, And You Are So Lucky That I’m Here To Help You.”

You take a moment to try and get yourself together, deep breaths and not looking directly at either of these damn jokers.

“Oh, Good,” Papyrus grins at you. “You’re Coming Around To Acceptance! I Think You Skipped Over Anger And Bargaining Somewhere In There, But I Admire Your Efficiency!”

Pfft! “Thanks,” you eke out, just barely tamping down a giggle.

“Now, Then,” he says, very seriously, settling a comforting hand on your shoulder, “Sans Is Going To Make Up For His Grievous Oversight And Take You On A Lovely Six-Monthiversary Date.”

“i am? cool.” Sans slings an arm around you, gently pulling you out of his brother’s grip. “been dyin’ for some cheesy fries—”

“No!” Papyrus tugs you back, glaring at Sans. “No Grillby’s! It’s Bad Enough That That’s Your Usual, You Don’t Go To Your Usual For A Six-Monthiversary! It’s A Special Occasion!”

Sans frowns, but seems to take the proclamation in stride. “alright, so…what do ‘i’ have in mind?”

“That’s! ……” Papyrus squints down at you. “That Obviously Has To Be A Surprise.”

Without further ado, you’re nudged carefully yet forcefully to the stairs—shooed away like a too-curious cat from a museum.

“Wait, Pap, what—”

“Don’t Argue!” he chides, unmoved by your confusion. “Go Wait Upstairs For Awhile! Sans Will Get You When His Surprise Is Ready!”

You spare a last look at Sans, who seems only mildly amused by whatever is happening here. He gives you a little wave that makes you smile, and you willingly disappear up the steps.

Down below you, you can still hear a faint exchange, hissed whispers and murmuring, but you can’t make any of the words out, so you don’t bother to keep eavesdropping.

Besides, a romantic surprise sounds…kind of nice.

Whether it was actually Sans’ idea or not, a date with your funnybones was always something to look forward to.

-

You decide to go hang out in Sans’ room while you wait.

You suppose Papyrus’ room is also an option—you don’t think he’d necessarily mind you waiting there—but you feel a little more comfortable encroaching on your boyfriend’s space than on Papyrus’.

You hang out with him in there a lot, for naps and indoor tornado-watching and majorly nerdy (but interesting), casual geology lessons with his rock collection, so it seems like the best option for now.

The piney scent of air freshener tickles your nose when you walk in and you figure Sans must’ve cleaned sort of recently. He’s been pretty good about that lately, maybe especially because you’re in here more often, and it makes you happy that he has a mostly tidy area for himself.

You still remember how cluttered it used to be, and even with a stray sock or discarded t-shirt on the floor here and there, it’s a major improvement.

(You are…a big enough person to admit to some envy over it. Your own room could certainly do with some attention and you make a mental note to take care of that soon.)

Sans’ desk is, naturally, the most organized: it’s where all his rocks are, meticulously sorted and catalogued by means that are…probably very scientific and make perfect sense.

To you, it seems totally random, but you still like to look at all of Sans’ cool specimens and see how many of them you can remember.

Tiger’s eye is easy and so is jade. You remember that the purpley-green one carved into an obelisk is fluorite because Sans made a hilariously terrible pun about it one time that apparently burned it into your brain.

The smooth whitish one in the middle of the desk is harder. It’s iridescent, which you’d think would make it easy to identify, but apparently you were really bad at telling the difference between moonstone and opal.

Sans, being your oh-so-hilarious funnybones, loved to swap them out on you and snicker when you got it wrong, so you pretty much give up on that one entirely.

The polished purple ball is definitely amethyst…ooh, or is it charoite? It looks kind of squiggly and you can’t remember if amethyst is ever that squiggly…

You need more light.

You flick on the desk lamp and the rocks illuminate, sheens and glitter galore that make you feel like some sort of goblin with a primal urge to hoard the shiny, sparkly things before you.

The purple is charoite for sure, and you’re…roughly eighty percent certain that the other one is an opal today, too many colors in it to be moonstone.

But you’re also a little distracted by the weird glint the extra light is causing down by the floor, behind the desk.

You bend down to investigate and find a stray rock, wedged between the desk-leg and the wall. It’s the work of seconds to get it free and when you’ve got it…

Huh.

It’s a decently-sized black rock, dusty where it had been face-up and shiny where it wasn’t. It must have been stuck down there a good long while.

You take your shirt to it, carefully wiping it off and making sure to be mindful the places where it sharply curves into peaked edges, and soon it’s shiny all over, gleaming almost mirror-like from your hand.

You’d never been quizzed on this one before, but obsidian was one of the more recognizable types of rocks out there.

Volcanic glass, your brain helpfully adds and you feel a burst of excitement at knowing a rock fact Sans didn’t have to tell you.

You wonder if he’d be proud of you for that and shake your head, feeling silly for the thought.

Of course he’d be proud of you, and then he’d probably immediately find a way to make a pun out of it. You weren’t sure how, ‘obsidian’ didn’t seem like a very punnable word, but if anyone could find a way, it would be Sans.

You smile and go to set the rock back on his desk where it belonged, but pretty quickly realize there’s a roadblock.

You don’t actually know where on the desk it belongs. There’s clearly some sort of system but you have no clue what it is.

Messing up one of the few things Sans has bothered to organize, even in a tiny way, feels…kinda rude…

You elect to hold onto it until Sans comes to get you.

Since you have no idea what the surprise is and what the wait time on it is, you also plop yourself onto the bed and get comfy.

No sense standing around forever for no reason, right?

You intend to take out your phone and start playing games to pass the time, but you end up playing with the little obsidian chunk in your hands instead. It’s enticingly smooth beneath your fingers, cool but rapidly warming to the heat of your body as you keep stroking your thumb over its surface without rhyme or reason.

Its edges are a little sharp and kind of jagged, but they’re pretty easy to avoid once you properly map them out and besides that, you like the way they look. It…it’s got character, like a lot of your favorite things in this life.

A lot of your favorite people.

You start to wonder if Sans would miss this particular little rock if you just went ahead and kept it, like that shiny-hoarding goblin you felt like a few minutes ago.

…Nah, that would be pretty uncool of you.

You’ll give it back when—

“hey, babe, y’ready for, heheheh, ‘my’ surprise?”

You sit up, grinning and chuckling a little yourself to see Sans holding a blanket and a picnic basket, of all things. “Oh boy, am I ever! Papyrus…does know it’s nighttime, right?”

“………”

You follow Sans’ gaze when he doesn’t answer you right away. He’s looking at the obsidian in your hands and you scoff.

“Oh, right, I, uh…I found this! I wasn’t sure where it was supposed to go, so I—”

“where?”

“What?”

“where…was that?” The tightness in Sans’ voice makes you frown. You’re suddenly extra glad you didn’t just steal it because it seems…important, somehow?

You can’t read it all, but there’s a lot of emotion on his skull right now, more than there should be for just some average, run of the mill rock.

You wonder what the story is, but ultimately, you don’t need to know.

“It was behind your desk. It must’ve fallen off or something,” you say. You hold it out to him, smiling gently. “Here, you can put it…wherever it’s supposed to be!”

Sans reaches for it. He’s unusually slow in taking it from you, his bony fingers just…hovering over your open palm for a long moment.

You look up at him in surprise when instead, he closes his hand around yours, the obsidian still inside.

“keep it,” he says.

“What…seriously?” Your eyebrows knit in something approaching concern. “But…”

“but nothin’. ya’ like it, don’tcha?”

Damn him and his ability to read you like a book sometimes. “Well…yeah, but…”

You weren’t sure how, but…it was an important rock to him, right? It had to be! Some…some sort of memento or…stars, maybe a family heirloom or something!

“i want you to have it,” Sans says simply.

His tone is surprisingly firm. You’re not sure you’ve ever heard him speak so matter-of-factly, so you know he means it, but still…

“It’s…it’s not important…?”

“nah.” That feels like a lie, but he immediately follows it with, “it was supposed to be away, i must’ve missed it in the great rock purge of 20XX. doesn’t belong on the desk, anyway, you’d be doin’ me a favor if ya’ just took it. really.”

“……You just don’t want to dig out the shoeboxes for it,” you accuse.

Sans laughs, deeply amused…and maybe just a little bit relieved.

“ya’ got me,” he admits. “s’a lotta work for one little stone and, uh, between you an’ me…i didn’t really get’cha anything for our six-monthiversary.”

You give him an exaggerated gasp of shock. “No!”

“i know, i know” he sighs, just as dramatically. “m’a cad. a scoundrel. a ne’er-do-well…whatever that is.”

“Harsh, but fair.” Sans releases your hand and you look at the…your obsidian. “Well…I’m honored by your thoughtless, last minute gift of rock.” You grin at him a little slyly. “Great minds think alike?”

Sans grins back. “you know it,” he says, and out comes the convenience store paperweight from his pocket, the one you’d bought him all those months ago back before you’d even been dating. “take it with me everywhere.”

You know he does and that makes you feel stupidly warm and gooey.

“I guess I can return the favor, now,” you say, slipping the obsidian into a pocket of your own. “Couples’ pocket-rocks: we’re gonna start a new trend.”

“heheheheheheh, trendsetters, that’s us.” Sans leans down to nuzzle the top of your head, gentle and sweet as always. “just be careful with it, yeah? s’a little sharp—you’re squishy.”

“I choose to take that as a compliment.”

“good, ‘cause it is one.” You get another gentle bump of teeth against your forehead and Sans pulls you to your feet. “c’mon, let’s go, i’ll tell ya’ all about your present on the way.”

Sans surprises you by actually walking all the way downstairs with you instead of just shortcutting you wherever it was you were going.

True to his word, he gives you a whole miniature lecture in the course of the trip about the care and keeping of your new obsidian—you learn that you can wash it with warm water and gentle soap, but not to use anything abrasive on it because that could damage the polished sheen.

You cut in when he starts to say it’s formed from molten rock to tell him that you know it’s volcanic glass, and just as you thought, he looks both surprised and proud of you for already knowing a rock thing.

He also says your observation was ‘ingenious’ but his inflection makes it sound an awful lot like the word ‘igneous,’ so you were right on both counts.

You sure know your big dork of a skeleton.

You notice the conspicuous lack of Papyrus and Buddy as you walk to your destination and figure Pap probably made the both of them scarce to give you and Sans a little privacy for your apparently very important milestone date and the consideration is appreciated.

So is the big, fluffy blanket that Sans slings around your shoulders as soon as you step out into the moderately chilly backyard.

Winter is on its slow way out still, but by now all the snow is melted and the air is what you’d describe as brisk instead of outright cold. With the blanket, it’s more than bearable, which is probably a good thing.

With the picnic basket and the telescope set up in the middle of the yard, you think you’re probably going to be out here awhile.

“Stargazing?” you ask, unable to disguise the excitement in your voice.

“heheheh, stargazing,” Sans agrees. He waggles the picnic basket enticingly. “plus snacks. Pap snuck a couple thermoses in there, could be soup, could be tea…”

“Could be cocoa.”

“endless possibilities.” The red of Sans’ eye-light looks pleasantly soft and warm beneath the cold, white moonlight and you find yourself instinctively leaning in. “happy six-monthiversary, babe.”

You kiss him. You don’t think there’s anything else you can do.

-

It takes…longer than you’re willing to admit to get to the actual date part of your date.

It’s hardly your fault that Sans’ nuzzling is addictive, or that his big hands stroking your back and shoulders through the blanket is something you never want to pull away from.

Eventually, though, you pick at the snacks while Sans fusses with the telescope a little, telling you how to use it while he picks a good spot in the mostly cloudless night to settle it on.

You’re surprised that Papyrus just had something like this lying around, and Sans surprises you even further by admitting it’s his—the same one he once told you he rented out Underground.

“could only look at a ceiling back then,” he says, distractedly. “view’s way better up here. c’mon, take a look.”

You get up and wander over to the telescope, hesitating a second because the last thing you want to do is damage one of Sans’ older possessions.

“don’t worry, i wiped the paint off the eye-piece,” Sans promises. “Pap made me, you’re safe.”

You laugh. “God, of course you pranked people with it, I should’ve known…”

Still, you trustingly look through the telescope, hoping Papyrus really did have your back on this one.

You forget all about it when you see the stars, closer and brighter than you’ve seen them in a long time—maybe ever.

“Wow…”

Sans comes up behind you, helping you adjust and move the telescope around here and there to different corners of the heavens. It really is a view that’s just…

“beautiful…”

You pull away, tilting your head back to find Sans observing the sky with just his own eye-sockets.

The dreamy awe on his skull makes you feel even cozier than your blanket and you gently nudge him in the ribs. “You want a turn on your own telescope, or…?”

Sans doesn’t even look at you as he says, “nah, m’good. this is plenty for now.”

You huff out a little laugh, leaning back against Sans and just looking up with him. “You really love the sky, huh?”

“understatement,” he murmurs. “it’s wild that ya’ just…have this, all the time.”

You can’t imagine what living your entire life in a cave must’ve been like. You don’t care to, it can’t have been good, even before it got a million times worse with the famine and everything attached to it.

“What’s your favorite kind of sky?” you ask him, curious.

“what, ever?” You make a noise of agreement and Sans pauses to consider it. “sunrise, probably. all the colors…an’ the sun, that was a hell of a thing, that first time…”

Sounds right. You’d seen some truly incredible sunrises in your time on this planet and even when you took them for granted, you still always thought they were pretty.

“even…even this, though,” Sans says. “even when it’s night an’ the sun is gone, ya’ still get this. the moon, an’ clouds, an’…an’ stars, damn…there’s so many, i never…i never thought…”

He trails off and you let him. You can guess the ways he may have finished it and you don’t need him to say any of them.

Instead, you say, “There’s a million constellations, too. You know any? I can pretty much just point out the dippers, and that’s on a good day. Well, night.”

“heheheheh…funny you ask, i, uh…” he sounds a little shy as he admits, “i used to wanna learn about that stuff…constellations, y’know. …never got around to it.”

“How come?”

“……”

You can’t look up anymore when Sans settles his chin atop your head, hugging you closer to him.

“…never had much hope,” he says eventually. “lot of us did, i guess. even after the…the human.” He chuckles a little and it sounds tired. “Pap always believed…that we’d get up here one day, see the stars for real. but i…i dunno, it was harder for me to…to think that way. it didn’t seem like a thing that’d ever happen.”

“It did though,” you’re quick to remind him. “You’re here. You’re out.”

You get a grateful little squeeze for that. “yeah, i know. just…wasn’t always that way. didn’t see much point learnin’ stuff i was never gonna get to use.”

You reach up, idly petting at one of the arms Sans had wrapped around your midsection. The worn, blue fabric of his hoodie is much softer than the sturdy bones beneath it, but you find you love them both in equal measure.

“i, uh…actually, for awhile there…” Sans speaks haltingly, carefully weighing each of his words, and you keep quiet and let him. “when we…started collecting souls again…and seeing the surface seemed like it was actually gonna happen…i…i kinda hoped i…wouldn’t see it?”

“…What do you mean, baby?”

Sans takes a breath from behind you, holding it before letting it out in a whoosh.

“i…i used to hope i’d dust before we ever got up here.”

A bolt of fearful grief strikes through you, robbing you of speech.

Sans keeps talking, though.

“thought it’d be hunger,” he says, too casually for the subject matter. “always…i always felt it the most in between humans…hoped i would……an’ then i wouldn’t have to…to do it again. or maybe karma’d get me, one of ‘em would…would see me comin’ an’ fight back, dust me then.”

This wasn’t…entirely new to you. Sans had talked about this once before, briefly, telling you in passing about feelings like these.

It had come on the heels of so much other shocking information and it had been painful to hear then, but it feels so much worse now to hear Sans talk about dying.

You think you hadn’t loved him then, not the way you do now, and stars above, you do love him now.

The very thought of Sans not being around wouldn’t feel so much like losing a limb if you didn’t.

You’re not sure if you make a sound or if he can just feel that you’re upset, but Sans nuzzles at you, making hushing noises of comfort.

“s’okay, baby, s’okay, i’m not…you don’t gotta worry about me, i never… made an attempt or anything, i don’t…i don’t got that in me. s’just how i felt sometimes, on the bad days. i wanted…to punish myself, i think. for doin’ the stuff i did.”

His arms uncurl from your body and his hands are held out just in front of you. By the moonlight, you see the pale bones of his metacarpals, scraped and rough, and you don’t hesitate a second to fill them with your own hands.

“You don’t…” You bite your lip. “Do you…still think that way…?”

You’re a little afraid of the answer, but you need to hear it.

Sans spins you around to face him, your arms briefly tangling in your urge to not let go of Sans, but when you get it all sorted out…

He’s smiling at you, warm and real.

“no,” he says. “i don’t. not really.”

Your relief is so strong that for a moment, you feel weightless.

“got my bad days. happens, but…not bein’ around doesn’t really appeal the way it used to, y’know? got more stuff i wanna stick around for.”

There aren’t words for how happy you are to hear that.

“i got Pap, the guys at grillby’s, all those fluffy idiots at the shelter…” He chuckles a little and adds, “the fluffy idiot back in the house.”

“Hey,” you manage to say sternly, “that’s no way to talk about our son.”

One of his hands leaves yours, coming up to cradle your cheek.

“i got you, too,” he says softly, looking down at you with lidded eye-sockets.

For a second, you’re sure your heart is about to beat out of your chest, but he breaks your gaze to look up again.

“an’ i got the sky. there’s a whole lot of stuff for me to hope about these days, and...” Sans smiles just a little bit wider. “hell, i think i’d even say i’m…happy.”

Stars, you’re happy, too.

Here, in the arms of the strongest, most wonderful man you know, you don’t think you could be any happier.

You really do love him.

You press your face into his hand, turning just enough to be able to kiss it.

“Hey,” you say against his palm, “let’s learn constellation stuff.”

Sans snorts, building into a not-entirely-dismissive laugh.

“what, for real?” he says, like he can’t quite believe you said it. “you don’t think it’s, uh…heheheh, a little late for me to be learnin’ new stuff?”

He raps his knuckles against his skull with a hollow ‘tok-tok,’ but you don’t let it deter you.

“That’s why I wanna do it together!” you explain. “We can help each other out, it could be fun. Couples’ astrology!”

You see him trying and failing to hold back another laugh. “astronomy,” he corrects you. “unless you’re askin’ me what my sign is. real roundabout way of doin’ this, you’re supposed to ask my sign an’ then date me, what if we’re not compatible?”

“Pffff, shut up, we’re compatible,” you insist. “You know the right kind of star-charts to google, and me…” You smirk at him, a crafty glint behind your eyes. “I make some killer flashcards.”

Sans stares at you for a few seconds, processing.

You go on high-alert when his eye-light starts doing that shivering thing again, but this time… This time, it doesn’t stabilize into its normal, perfectly round shape.

Your mouth drops open when you see it.

“Sans,” you breathe, your eyes going wide. “That’s adorable, I didn’t know you could do that!”

“………do what?”

“…Oh my god.” Your hand comes up to cover your mouth. “You don’t even know you’re doing it…?”

Sans frowns a little, starting to look concerned. “doing what?”

It’s so, so hard not to squeal, but… “Your eye is a heart, baby.”

The big, red heart-shape taking up Sans’ eye-socket is the cutest, sweetest thing you’ve ever seen. You love it, almost as much as you love Sanswhich, as you’re starting to realize, is a hell of a lot.

Sans is maybe not quite as thrilled about his eye-light’s new trick as you are.

As soon as he realizes what you’ve told him, he’s practically blushing his skull off, hurriedly covering his face and whirling away from you like you hadn’t seen what you’d just seen.

Unfortunately for his pride or his ego or whatever was bruised right now, you aren’t exactly prepared to let it go.

You chase after him, trying to tug his arm away. “Come ooooon,” you whine playfully, “that was cute, I wanna see it!”

“no, nuh-uh,” Sans grumbles, trying to be gruff to scare you off, but he can’t fool you after that affectionate display.

He’s a softie, through and through, and you can’t get enough of it.

“Saaaaaans…!”

“no! quit it! it’s not, don’t!”

There’s a bit of a scuffle that’s about as one-sided as you could imagine: you’re a wily little human and he’s a gentle giant of a skeleton who’d never lay a hand on you.

Even when your blanket falls off and you both hit the ground on top of it, Sans manages to roll so that he takes most of the impact and you end up…well, exactly where you want to be—on top of him, bracing yourself against his rib-cage while he lies on his back beneath the moon and the stars.

You take a moment to catch your breath, winded from the little play-fight and your laughter. It’s a little disappointing to see that his eye-light is back to its normal shape, but you try not to get too down about it.

If you got him to do it once, you could get him to do it again. You’d just have to try harder from now on.

Sans is…very handsome from this angle, in this lighting. You think he’s handsome pretty much all the time, but right now especially…

You wonder if now would be a good time to tell him that thing you just realized, with that four-letter word that so many people were scared to say.

You open your mouth, ready to tell him.

“I—”

“y’shouldn’t play rough like that, that’s grounds for a break-up.”

“…snrk!”

So like Sans to break the tension with a shitty joke.

It’s part of the many, many reasons you love him.

You laugh and he grins proudly, his embarrassment easily forgotten and you’re happy to help it along by leaning down for a kiss.

“Stop trying to distract me,” you say against his teeth. “Let’s talk about those flashcards. Four-by-six?”

“ya’ gotta be kiddin’, with the size of my hands?” They land on your hips, holding your much smaller self steady with ease. “five-by-eight is barely good enough. lined or unlined?”

“Lined,” you say forcefully. “Don’t you ever suggest unlined to me again, I’m offended.”

Sans laughs. “offended over note-cards, an’ you call me a nerd?”

You hit him with the flattest look you can manage.

“Sans, you gave me a lecture on the care and keeping and properties of obsidian on the fly. No prior notice. Yeah, you’re a nerd!”

“that’s in these days, though, right? nerds are hot?”

Yours sure was.

“Eh, you’ll do,” is what you say.

It seems to be the right thing because Sans happily pulls you down for another nuzzle that you enthusiastically return.

All things considered, it’s probably the best six-monthiversary date you’ve ever had.

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#fur a good time call #undertale #fanfiction #sans #papyrus #sans/reader #horrortale #ht!sans #ht!papyrus #myfic

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OLYMPIAN AESTHETICS

TAGGED BY:   @brvgrl <3333 TAGGING:   @saviorbuilt @tragedess @reivon @headstrongblake @wnhda @wolfqueennamedstark @outlawiism @seesgood @ontcri honestly anyone who wants to do it?? this is the coolest thing 

 APHRODITE       laughter-loving, sweet smiles, dressed in silk and satin, flower in their hair, thrives on attention, sees the world as a runway, unapologetically sexual, the sea washing their ankles, in love with love, stirrer of passion, cunning concealed by painted lips, secret daggers, doves, revolution in their kiss, delighting in the waves, flirtatious winks ,strolling along the beach, staring wistfully from a balcony, this is how to be a heartbreaker, your girlfriend thinks they’re attractive, wants to be adored, gets turned on by danger.

APOLLO   glitz and glamour, art galleries, turning the volume up, being made of gold, neatly-organized music sheets, notebooks filled with poetry, bathing in the sunlight, the powerful urge to create, collecting vinyl records, beautiful cover of wonderwall, playing multiple instruments, tasting like sunshine, healing touch, speaking in prophecies, smile mingled wrath, sporting shades, hanging out at music festivals with their friends, sleeps naked, arrow to the heart, paint brushes, probably has a Tinder account

ARES      armed for battle, wants to raise a dog with their significant other, soft spot for children, gives piggyback rides, scarred body, blood on their hands and face, willing to fight the world for the ones they love, warm hugs, well-worn combat boots, boxing gloves, bandages wrapped around bruised knuckles, fists raised in protest, ignites revolutions, fear is a prison, more sensitive than what their tough shell will make you think, exhausted, force to be reckoned with, red roses, curses under their breath

ARTEMIS       keen sense of a hunter, freckles like constellations on their skin, piercing eyes, disheveled braid, moonlight peeking through the shadows, the calm of the forest at night, lying on the grass and staring at the stars, mother doe and her fawn, protecting their kin, the moon shimmering on a still lake, quiver full of arrows resting against the bark of a tree, running with wolves, bonding while circled around a campfire, not being much of a people person, arrow hitting a target, popping egos, patience on 3%, touches heaven and returns howling

ATHENA   discerning gaze, unreadable face, the patience of a lifelong teacher, quiet museums, owl perched on their finger, armor that intimidates, eye for architecture, plays the sims for the sole purpose of building houses, studied the blade while everyone else was busy getting laid, big fan of logic, loves brain teasers, go-getter, balls of wool displayed on shelves, ancient buildings, hair done up, can kill you with their brain, heads to the library often to research, sharpened pencils, abs that can cut steel, stoic statues, pottery classes  

DEMETER       soil-covered hands, smile that can bloom flowers, skin loved by the sun, being the mom-friend, can lift you and your friends, flowers kept in the pockets of overalls, takes pride in their beautiful garden, speaks to their plants, leaves rustling in the wind, stalks of wheat, picking fruit, greenhouses, heart as strong as a mountain, values simplicity, daisies dotted across a collarbone, curls crowned with flowers, folded pile of sweaters in warm hues, pulling out fresh-baked bread out of the oven and the smell wafting through the air

DIONYSUS         drunk shitposter, on their sixth glass of wine before you’ve even finished your second, seductive smirks, untamed curls, rich fabrics on dark skin, sleek-furred panthers, theater masks, stage productions, receiving a standing ovation, rose caught between their teeth, being the baby of the bunch, wild parties that last from sundown to sunup, creeping vines, inspiring loyalty, grand opera houses, masquerade balls, rolls of film, shattered chandeliers with broken glass scattered across the wine-spilled floor, pouring champagne into flutes, lives for the applause

HEPHAESTUS    sweaty brow, flame burning in their eyes, inventive mind, broad shoulders, steampunk goggles, nuts and bolts stored away in little boxes, ashes, striking a match, blueprints for future projects, fixing up a busted up car and giving it cool upgrades, wrestles with bitterness, work boots have seen better years, wrinkled plaid shirts, iron melted in blazing fire, huge jackets, crafting masterpieces, greased-stained overalls, fascination with robotics, pain is fuel, stack of weaponry, even their muscles have muscles

HERA   resting bitch face, dressed to the nines, cows grazing on a pasture, cool rain ,loving and hating fiercely, hand clutching a string of pearls, large chandelier with glittering crystals, plays the sims for the sole purpose of killing off their sims, romance to realism, pictures of the sky while flying on a plane, files that under fuck it, downs glasses of wine as they relax with a scented bubble bath and netflix, like their selfie or you’re grounded, knows 57 convenient ways to murder a man, dark eyes that penetrate your soul, marble and gold

HERMES     devil-may-care smile, ink-stained hands, always up-to-date on the latest technology, will steal your french fries, does it for the vine, shitposter, puts googly eyes on everything, meme hoarder, long drives on the highway, ma and pop diners, spontaneous road trips, folded maps, fingers dancing across the keyboard of a laptop, shooting hoops on the basketball court, chatting up strangers as you all journey to your own destinations, goes jogging in the morning, mixes redbull with coffee, menace on april fool’s, hoodies and sneakers

POSEIDON storm with skin, colorful coral reefs, waves crashing against the shore ,the sea casting its spell, stroking the soft fur of a cat, their heart pounding as their horse’s gentle trot speeds into a gallop, tousled locks, clothes smeared with paint, owns several sketchbooks yet always yearns for more, leather jackets, fondness for diy projects, handwriting that flows across the page, nimble fingers playing the strings of a violin, velvety singing voice that haunts your dreams, mood as ever-changing as the sea, the roar of a motorcycle, compass with a spinning arrow

ZEUS   thunder in their heart, running on coffee, flash of lightning, natural charisma, eloquence, badass in a nice suit, aficionado of history, force of nature, lenny face, pretends they don’t have feelings but they do, nightmare-filled nights, proud arm around their lover’s waist, high-rise buildings, planes soaring through a cloudless sky, technician on the piano, maintains order, strong handshake, juggling multiple events on their busy calendar with ease, most likely to be voted class president out of their peers, expensive watch

#『 jus kom az && keryon kom wintam 』❅ ❆ –––– ( AESTHETIC ) ♛ #『 haihefa azmelon 』❅ ❆ –––– ( ROAN ) ♛ #『 nou mou emo sontaim 』❅ ❆ –––– ( OOC ) ♛ #i love this??

[gutterdreams]

I’m burning every t shirt. Billy or Steve xxx.

THIS WAS REALLY CHALLENGING. I hope this is alright.

When you were small, your favoritething to do was play with Lego and build towers and castles that cameto your mind in a fit of inspired imagination. Your brother, Billy,on the other hand loved only to knock them down with loud yelps andhis version of karate kicks. After an evening bath, you loved beingwrapped up like a burrito in a fuzzy towel while he whipped his offand ran full at the living room wall while screaming and pounding hischest, leaving water throughout the house. You two always handledeverything different. It made for a lot of heated arguments at thedinner table, in the bathroom, and in the Camaro, but ultimately, youhad grown up thick as thieves.

It wasn't very surprising that Billywas exploding with emotions when you and Steve broke up while youkept most of your feelings to yourself. Billy wasn't particularlyfond of Steve Harrington. The whole reason you started talking to thebrunette boy with the pretty eyes was to get under your brother'sskin, but ironically, Steve wound up getting under your skin until itwas all you could do to not jump his bones in the middle of theschool parking lot. Billy backed off of Steve at your request, butonly if you adhered to Billy's demands that you never bring Stevehome, you never engage in PDA in a public space that Billy was alsooccupying, and that Billy was allowed to commit any assault he sawfit against Steve if you came home in tears.

One week ago when Steve asked you tograb a bite with him after school, you had to remind yourself of thelast demand the whole way home. It was a silent car ride after Stevehad called things off. His eyes were searching the side of your facewhile your mind reminded the rest of your body not to allow theproduction of tears.

Steve couldn't read you now, but heimagined you weren't happy with him or about the situation. It wasn'tthat he wasn't having a great time with you, but he still foundhimself thinking of Nancy when you weren't around and he felt like itwasn't fair for either of you to continue being together if he wasn'tone hundred percent committed. You gave him the benefit of the doubtsince it was challenging to tell how much of what he was saying wassincere. He had always been straight with you just as you had beenwith him. There was no weakness in either of your abilities tocommunicate.

“I'm dropping Max off at the arcade.You want to come?” Leaning against your bedroom door, a half eatenapple in hand, Billy interrupted you. His dad had pretty much barkedat him like it was an order.  “What are you doing?” You were onyour knees in the corner of the bedroom you and Max had to share,folding sweaters into a plastic bag.

“This is just Steve's stuff. Hewants it back.” Reasonably, they were his articles of clothing andone library book taken out under his name. “I know you told me tonever bring him over here,  but I'm just going to leave it on thedriveway for him to swing by and get.” Even though it ached harshlyin your chest when you and Steve spoke, you two were still friendlyin class and he had mentioned he could pick his stuff up tonightinstead of you having to bring it to school in front of everyone.

“I can drop it off.” Way too eagerto be innocent, Billy told you. When you looked up, tossing your hairbehind you, you spied the same devious look in his eyes that he worewhen he pushed your face into your cake at your fifth birthday. Itwas the first time his dad ever whisked him away by the collar of hisshirt and berated him.

“No. It's fine. He said he's goingto come get it.” Right now, your main focus was to keep Billy andSteve apart. Ever since you and Steve broke up, Billy had gone rightback to his old ways of harassing Harrington. In fact, he was cruelerthan before due to the fact that he now thought Steve was a biggeridiot for dumping the coolest girl to ever step foot in Hawkins,Indiana. “Stay here. I'll tell dad, I'm taking Max. Just chill.”It took so little to work up your brother. He woke up like a tickingtime bomb and went to bed just as uneasy. Besides, you didn't want tobe around when Steve showed up. 

Groaning as you stood up from yourknees, you took the plastic bag and carried it to the door, callingfor Max as you did.

Billy usually drove around town,looking for short skirts and freshman to make fun of, while waitingfor Max's hour and change at the arcade to come to an end. Youconsidered doing the same or going to a drugstore to comb throughtheir magazine section as it was the beginning of the month, butinstead you decided to just drive home. You told Max that she couldhang out with her friends for two hours instead and gave her afistful of quarters from the bottom of your satchel.

You wished you hadn't though. As youpulled up in front of your house, you recognized the station wagonsitting out front before you saw Steve scratching his head at yourfront door.

“Hey.” He turned as you parkedbehind him, scratching his head with lowered brows. “I thought youwere just going to leave my stuff outside.” As he was coming offyour porch and approaching your car, Steve mentioned.

Out of instinct, your eyes lookedaround the front of your place for the plastic bag that you had leftthere when you took off with Max. Pushing open the car door, you slidout and stared at your front yard.

“Somebody might have taken it.”Hawkins seemed like a relatively safe town, but people were boredthere. Stealing a bag of clothes was probably riveting to some dorkon a bike on your long street. Unlike Steve and most of the kids youwent to school with, you did not live in the suburbs.

“Why does your street reek ofsmoke?” Holding his sides, Steve asked, wrinkling his nose up as hepointed it toward the darkening sky.

You had noticed the odor when youturned onto your street, but the sight of Steve's dad's cardistracted you from it. It was more pungent now as if it was comingfrom your house. Like the tropical bird on your morning cereal box,you followed your nose and led Steve to the backyard. Stunning bothof you, Billy was drinking a beer in front of the fire pit that yourdad had built at Susan's request for roasting marshmallows and hotdogs. With a stretched out wire clothing hanger, Billy was pokinginto the flames. He saw Steve and raised his homemade poker, showingoff one of Steve's cardigans that you used to wear like a lettermanjacket around school. It was mostly black now, charred sleeves thatwere once a gorgeous autumn hue.

“Billy, what the Hell?” At a lossfor words, you managed to ask.

“I'm burning every shirt!” Billydeclared after swallowing a refreshing gulp of beer. He tossed thecan into the fire and attacked Steve with eyes as hot as the flameshe had ignited. “You fucking dump my sister, I burn your shit,how's that feel, pretty boy?” He had the wire hanger lifted again,pointing it right at Steve's nose.

The plastic bag was sitting next toyour brother's feet and you rushed away from Steve to grab it. Therewas still a couple things left in it. Billy dropped the hanger andstepped in front of you, blocking you from coming any closer to thepossessions that were formerly your ex boyfriend's.

“Ah, ah, ah...you said I couldn'tphysically harm him unless you were crying. Lift the ban and get theshit or keep the ban and I burn the shit.”

Someone else might have just throwntheir hands in the air and walked away, but you weren't just anyone.You were Billy's sister and you knew there was no end to just hownuts he could be. Internally, you weighed your options before lookingover your shoulder at Steve who was still pale and dumbfounded at theentire scenario. He couldn't believe that you were actually thinkingabout a solution to what Billy said.

“Just forget about it!” Stevewaved at you and started walking away, muttering to himself about howcrazy the Hargrove kids were. He wasn't sure if there was any hopefor Max.

“Don’t look like that, [Y/N/N]. He deserves it.” Throwing an arm around your shoulder, Billy snickered. He could only make out your profile, but he knew you better than you knew yourself. He could tell you were watching Steve with a longing stare that belonged in a soap opera. “You’re too good for that cocksucker. Pick a shirt, toss it in.” He cocked his head toward the flames, egging you on to join him. 

In a way, it was sweet that he was trying to help mend your heart even if his methods were deranged.

[zirawrites]

Ok, ok, so companions react to finding Sole spent ALL NIGHT hanging up Christmas lights on every single house and tree in Sanctuary. (Even going so far as to build a separate generator exclusively to power said lights)

I wrote this as Sole showing companions this at night. I hope that still captures your vision when you sent this reaction! Wish I could have posted this closer to Christmas. Sorry for the wait

Cait: Sometimes when Cait drifted off to sleep in the cages, the lights would blur together as she closed her eyes. It was the only time she felt calm in those days. For those brief seconds before blissful sleep, the world was nothing but twinkling white lights, and she was safe. That was what the decorations in Sanctuary reminded her of. When Sole asked how she liked them, Cait cursed under her breath. She realized how much Sole really cared for her. When words failed, Cait gave them a hard slap on the back. “You outdone yerself, darln’. I’ve never seen anythn’ more beautiful. Besides me-self in the mirror, ya know?”

Codsworth: His metal body shook with glee, and Sole had to hold him steady. The last thing either of them wanted was for him to blow a fuse. “This is just like before the war!” Codsworth exclaimed. He could picture Sole and their spouse holding baby-Shaun as the naughtier children of the town ran up and down the street. The Rosa family would be playing Christmas music through their new record player, which would wake up half the neighborhood. Codsworth would fix Sole hot chocolate, and listen to them tell him what a great help he was. 

When Sole noticed Codsworth had fallen silent, they placed their hand on his side reassuringly. “Me too, pal,” Sole said. “I see it too.”

Curie: Curie had read about this tradition back as a Miss Nanny, and it was something she assumed Sanctuary couldn’t afford. She was mostly impressed that Sole made an entire new generator. Her friend was both kind and savvy. Curie walked under the twinkling lights, and ran her fingers over the warm bulbs. She wanted to feel every sensation. She wanted to see every light.

“This is… so wonderful, Sole.” When Sole frowned, Curie tilted her head inquisitively.  Sole reached out to brush away the tears that fell down Curie’s cheeks. “Oh, not to worry, madame/monsieur. These are happy tears. You have given Sanctuary a wonderful Christmas present. All I got you was a textbook. I hope it will still suffice, yes?”

Danse: Maxon occasionally allowed soldiers to decorate the Prydwen. The festivities were usually confined to their share quarters, and consisted mostly of a small fake tree and a few fairy lights. When Danse took in the old magazine-worthy spectacle, even his stoic demeanor couldn’t hold back a beaming smile. “Outstanding, Sole,” he said. He couldn’t tear his gaze away from the lights, so he placed his hand on Sole’s shoulder to let them know they had his attention. “I can’t believe you did all of this by yourself. I’m impressed.” The handful of settlers in Sanctuary were just stepping outside to take in the view, and pride swelled in Danse’s chest. Their faces were so joyous; eyes widening and smiles tightly stretching. “So is everyone else. You seem to find a new way to make the Commonwealth a little brighter every day. Um… literally.” Sole snorted at his unintentional joke.

Deacon: Sole managed to evade Deacon’s watchful eyes long enough to give him a surprise? He didn’t believe it until he saw Sanctuary lit up in every color imaginable. He had seen what Diamond City put out on Christmas Day, and a few pre-war holiday catalogs. But a neighborhood covered in festive lights? This was uncharted territory. He was conflicted with the urge to run down the street like a little kid, or badger Sole about how they sneaked out of HQ for an entire night without him knowing.

“Okay, for once in my life, I got nothing.” Deacon’s fingers lingered hesitantly at the edge of his sunglasses. He wanted to take them off and get the full effect, but couldn’t risk someone seeing his eyes. Couldn’t risk being vulnerable. “You outdid yourself, Sole. I’m in awe of your awesomeness. Aghast at your flabberghastedness. Amazed at your ama-” Sole cut him off with a soft punch to his arm. Deacon winced, and went to reach for the tender spot. When Sole had turned their head away, he instead used his hand to grab their shoulder. “When everyone goes to bed, let’s go back out here, okay?” Deacon furrowed his brow. He seemed so serious he might actually be sad. “I wanna come out here without my shades, you dig?” Sole definitely did, and responded with a quick side-hug that Deacon actually reciprocated.

Dogmeat: The puppy absolutely lost his shit. Dogmeat barked over and over again as he ran up and down the streets. Sole gave up on trying to corral him, and let the pooch run out his energy. The twinkling lights along the houses and in the trees both confused and excited Dogmeat.  He knew it couldn’t be the work of enemies. Look at how happy Sole was. Since Sole was happy, so was Dogmeat. He tried to nip at the strings in the bushes, but Codsworth shooed him away. What a great night to be a dog.

Gage: When Sole eagerly led him in to Sanctuary, he got the same feeling when they had restored power to Nuka World. The sudden explosion of light across the park made each bulb twinkle. He hadn’t expected such a warm feeling in his chest as the rides started up and raiders explored their bases with childlike wonder. And as he watched the other settlers gaze up at the houses with amazement, he couldn’t be more impressed with Sole if he tried. “Well shit, boss. I dunno what to say. Every time I think you’ve outdone yerself you pull something like fucking… like… well, like this, I guess.” Sole noticed Gage was blushing. Their raider friend wasn’t usually flustered. The fact that he trailed off to explore the settlement reaffirmed how comfortable he felt around his Overboss. Too proud to show Sole he cared, but contented enough to flash them a smile before he walked away.

Hancock: “You did all this by yourself? Shit. All I got you were some socks.” Hancock stood in the middle of the road to get the best view of all the houses. He had tried to decorate Goodneighbor before, but the lights usually were stolen by the end of the evening. It was hard housing the kinds of ruffians he ran with; especially when they were particularly ungrateful guests. Seeing Sole smile under a soft spotlight of red and green made his chest swell. Hancock didn’t know what he did to deserve a friend as selfless as them. “I’m putting you in charge of our little Christmas party in The Third Rail. Unless…” Sole cut him off with a curt wave of their hand. They were not moving the drifters of Goodneighbor in to Sanctuary for the night. Even if it was Christmas.

MacCready: MacCready squealed like a kid on Christmas Day as he ran across the bridge to Sanctuary to look at the lights. When he did work for the Gunners, he sometimes found himself perched up high on a building. He could see Diamond City sparkling in the distance, and thought that had to be the brightest thing left on Earth. As he walked through the streets and gaped at Sole’s handiwork, MacCready knew he was wrong.

“This is amazing!” MacCready was so excited that his voice cracked at the end; his pitch so squeaky Sole thought he was having a panic attack. “God, what I would have given to see this as a kid. Can we show this to the tykes in Diamond City? I know a handful of ‘em that could really use this. Actually, just last week -” MacCready was telling Sole something important, but they had stopped listening. It was the first time Sole saw him want to give something back. They knew he had a soft spot for children, but to sacrifice their settlement just to show some strangers holiday cheer? It was the best present MacCready could have given Sole for Christmas. 

Preston: Preston had wondered why Sole wanted as many Minutemen to report to Sanctuary up until the moment he saw the colorful lights. Every house and tree was decorated in holiday cheer; something only Sole could ever pull off. Since the first time they met, Sole did nothing but give and give to the people of the Commonwealth. When they asked Preston if he liked their work, he took off his hat in awe. His reaction was humble; Preston’s gaze softly fell on Sole to show tears running down his flushed cheeks.

“You’re really something, you know that?” he whispered. “I didn’t think I’d be this choked up. I just…” Sole pulled Preston in to a hug as the accompanying Minutemen left to explore the town. “Thank you, Sole. For everything.” Preston didn’t know how to make it up to his General, but he knew he would do anything to prove his loyalty.

Piper: “Jesus…” Piper didn’t know what else to say. As soon as Nat saw the bright lights, the little girl ran off to explore. Piper was left behind with Sole to express their gratitude, but for the first time in her life the wordsmith had nothing to say. Sole watched Piper spin around several times to take it all in. When she finally soaked up the gravity of just how far Sole was willing to go to spread Christmas cheer, her expression changed from stoic to elated. “This is the coolest thing ever!” Was Piper actually giggling? The reporter threw up her arms and twirled in a circle; her red coat fluttering and picking up an array of Christmas colors. “So what do you want the article to be called? Ooh! How about: Blue saves Sanctuary from a Blue Christmas. Get it? No? Okay, I’ll work on it.”

Nick: The old synth had memories of Christmases he never took part in. Not really, anyway. Pre-war Nick opened presents. He drank hot toddies and nuzzled with his wife by the fireplace. His new self usually spent Christmas alone in his office because Nick always gave Ellie the day off. When everyone went to bed, Nick walked around Diamond City to admire the lights. It was peaceful. Tranquil. Lonely.

Sole had covered his eyes to unveil their decorations. As soon as Nick caught the first sheen of light on the roof in front of him, he knew Sole had decorated for Christmas. For the first minute, Nick was utterly speechless. Sole poked at his arm and asked if everything was okay.

“I finally have my own Christmas tradition,” he said. Sole wasn’t sure if the flicker in his yellow eyes was supposed to represent a tear. “And it’s with you. My partner.” Nick snaked his arm around Sole’s waist as they watched a handful of Sanctuary children run past them. “My best friend.”

Strong: Strong didn’t know what Christmas was, even though Sole explained the tradition multiple times. They figured the best way for Strong to grasp it was to show him just how festive the holiday could be. Surprisingly, Strong’s face lit up at the colorful decorations. It was the most expression he had ever shown. Sole almost wanted to cry.

“Human cover shelter in bright lights. Easy for bad guys to find human’s home.” Before Sole could interject, Strong added: “But Strong has never seen such color. Everything is glowing. Very bright. Makes human happy. That makes Strong happy.” It was a compliment Sole was more than willing to take.

X6-88: Electricity wasn’t hard to come by in the Institute. X6 couldn’t imagine the massive amount of drifters that went without it in the Commonwealth. Every room underground had their own lighting, and every person had basic necessities like running water. It took a lot to impress him outside of combat skills. And Sole seemed to always be pushing his limits.

As Sole watched X6′s expression, they almost thought he didn’t care for the bright lights. It took a trained eye to notice his mouth slightly agape. Sole knew if he really disliked it, he would have immediately voiced his dissatisfaction. Instead, X6 stayed silent for a long time.

“It’s beautiful,” he finally said. And X6 meant it. Part of him was curious enough to venture away from Sole and take in all the decorations, but the part loyal to them wanted to stay close. “May we look at all of them? I’ve never seen Christmas decorations before.” His voice was so eager that Sole just couldn’t resist.

#fallout 4 #fallout 4 companions react #fallout 4 hc #fallout 4 imagine #fallout 4 deacon #fallout 4 maccready #fallout 4 hancock #cait #fo4cait #curie #fo4curie #codsworth #fo4codsworth #danse #fo4danse #dogmeat #fo4dogmeat #deacon #fo4deacon #hancock #fo4hancock #gage #fo4gage #maccready #fo4maccready #piper #fo4piper #preston #fo4preston #nick valentine

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #357

“your magic white rabbit has left its writing on the wall  /  we follow like alice, and just keep diving down the hole”

Are you better at telling stories or writing them? Writing, by a long shot. What’s one song you hate, but know every word to? i'm a barbie girl in a fckn barbie woooooorld What’s your favorite magazine? I don’t read magazines. If you could be an animal for one day, which animal would you choose? Probably a house cat. Be indoors and safe, able to just nap... lol. But I'd want another cat as a friend, too! Do you prefer outdoor or indoor concerts/events? Indoors, by a mile. I get hot outside way too easily. Do you know if you were a planned child? I don't know. What’s your favorite gem? Dragon's breath opal. As an adult, do you want to live in an apartment or a house? I'd like to live in a house, especially with the pets I want. I doubt many apartment complexes would allow multiple reptiles and inverts. Do you like the stem or leafy part of the broccoli? It doesn't matter much to me, but I prefer the stem. The texture is more likeable to me. Do bats frighten you? No, I adore bats! Does Paris appeal to you? Yeah, it's a pretty place. Are you a KPOP fan? No, I've never really checked it out. How long was your longest relationship? Over three and a half years. First time you kissed the last person you kissed? We were outside roasting marshmallows one night. Do you have to really know someone to kiss them? Absolutely. I don't dish 'em out for nothing. Were you anyone’s first kiss? No. If you had to be named after one of the 50 states of America, what state would you WANT to be named after? I actually think "Nevada" would be kinda pretty as a name? Do you think morals are universal or relative to the beliefs, traditions, or practices of individuals or groups? I've wondered this for a long while, really. I lean towards it being a mix, maybe? But more towards universal, I think... with some exceptions. This answer is all over the place, I honestly don't know. Is torture ever a good option? If no, why not? If yes, when? No? I think the "why not" is obvious... You just don't. What do you think is one one of the most undervalued professions right now? Teachers, garbagemen, retail and food workers... There's a lot. Have you ever seen anyone have a heart attack? Thank Christ no. Have you personalized your answering machine/voicemail? No. Have you ever had Fiji brand water? I actually don't believe I have, though it's always looked appealing to me, haha. What’s your favorite horror movie? The Crazies and the first Silent Hill, as well as both Blair Witch Projects. What was the worst thing a friend has either done or said to you? I'd rather not even think about things the bitch said to me. Are you biracial? No. When was the last time you got mad and broke something? I've never broken something when mad. What color dress did you wear to prom? My first was maroon, second one was black. Who is the cutest baby you know? My friend has a daughter named Scarlett who is absolutely gorgeous. Have you ever thrown a rock at a window? No, because I respect people's fucking property. Has anyone ever thrown a rock at your window? No. Does your hair react well to dye, or does it damage it? It likes to not take dye at all. >.> I have only had one instance where a friend dyed it red and it stuck for months and months, but we kept it in for a couple hours, I think. My normal hairdresser says it's because my hair is really healthy and I guess rejects it. What kind of pet do you wish you had? I ramble plenty about how I want tarantulas and more reptiles, haha. I also DESPERATELY want to rescue or foster an opossum. When was the last time you were diagnosed with something? Are you concerned about anything regarding your physical or mental health at the moment? I haven't been diagnosed with anything in quite some time, I believe, but as I'm going through the process of being approved for TMS therapy for my depression, my bipolar diagnosis is being questioned, which is... strange to me. It's been acknowledged by many a doctor that I have bipolar 2, but if insurance recognizes my primary diagnosis as bipolar, they won't cover TMS because it can massively excite the mania portion of bipolarity, and therefore I can't do it because we can't manually afford it. I'm willing to take the risk by far, as I've never had issues with mania, but I can't without insurance. I'm just waiting to hear back from them... What is one blanket judgment you tend to make about people (like, you judge all people who live at home, all people who drink, etc)? Does this judgment come from a particular personal experience? I really don't know. How do you react to other people yelling or slamming doors? Is this something you ever do too? I get very scared if it's a man. I don't like anyone doing it, and my anxiety will spike regardless, I'm just terrified of angry men. Have you ever lost your cool at work or somewhere else important? What happened as a result? No. Who has the power to break you? Jason still might. I don't know. Is anyone in your family blind? My sister is legally blind in one eye. Do you believe in evolution? Yeah. I do find the concept odd, that ALL LIFE originated from one thing, but I sure ain't got a better explanation, so. What job do you think people should be paid the most for? Surgeons, maybe? I dunno, that's a big question. Were you ever held back a year in school? Did you ever skip a grade? No. Have you ever been given a hickey? Have you given one? Yeah to both. What is your least favourite thing about your full name? I have the most basic white bitch middle name in the world, lol. Do you like the age you are? Eh, I don't mind it much, but I think it'd be better to be in my early 20s versus mid 20s. I'm just always so tired now. I can't believe I used to refuse to go to sleep before 10:30. What’s your favourite kind of poptart? The chocolate sundae one. If you had to eat one type (Chinese, etc.) of food which would it be? American bc I'm not very adventurous with food at all. When did your family immigrate to wherever you live now? *shrug* Are your fingers long, or short? Long. Mom's always said I have "piano fingers." Do you play Pokemon Go? If so, what level are you and who’s your buddy? Yeah, I love it, but don't play it nearly as much as I want because I don't exactly go anywhere, lol. My bud's Charmeleon, and I'm probably like five EXP from level 28. Do you ever sit indoors and wear sunglasses or a hat? I don't own either, so. Do you know how to read animals’ behavior? I honestly think I'm very good at it. Do you like playing video games? If so, what do you usually play? Yes, but not as much as I used to. All I really play nowadays is World of Warcraft. The only working console I have is a PS2, and I haven't bought a new game in probably a couple years, but there are definitely ones I want to play, mainly on PS4. Just can't afford it right now. Have you ever viewed the moon through a telescope? No. Do you know how to properly eat food with chopsticks? No. There's no way I could, given my tremors. Do you prefer reading books, comic books, manga/graphic novels, magazines, or the newspaper? Books. When is the last time you ate donuts? It's been months, man. I've seriously been craving a glazed one, though. Krispy Kreme sounds amaaaaaziiiiiing. Has anyone ever called you sexy? Somehow. Do you like raisins? NO NO NO NO NO. Have you ever overheard a conversation you weren’t supposed to? More than once. Do you like ants? They're genuinely extremely fascinating animals, but they're seriously annoying nevertheless. Did you like the movie Antz? I loved it as a kid. What was your favorite ice cream flavor when you were little? Chocolate. Is it still your favorite? Eh, depends on the day. By the way, what is your name? Brittany. What time zone do you live in? EST. Do you like cats? I love cats. What’s the most creepy experience you’ve ever had? One night when my mom and sister were at the beach for a dance competition, I was having trouble sleeping, and it only got worse when my dog Teddy started freaking the fuck out, barking loudly and staring intently at the foot of the bed. I was so scared that I tried to force his head to lie down, but he fought against me. I was terrified, but got up out of the bed and went into the living room to call my mom at like 3 in the damn morning, and she had to have our neighbor come over to sleep in the house with me (I was in a different room that night). You can't convince me that there wasn't paranormal shit going on. I think the house was haunted honestly, for multiple reasons. What’s the most boring game to exist? Why do you dislike it so much? Hm, I dunno. What’s the coolest place that you've ever been to? What’d you do there? Disney World was very memorable as a kid. We just went around collecting signatures, going on rides, all that fun stuff. I'll never forget fireworks at the castle. If you’re interested in having a long-term relationship with someone, do you think that waiting a certain amount of time before you first have sex is a good idea? Or does it not matter? I think it's a good idea, personally, mostly for the sake of reducing the spread of STDs. Just because you think you'll be long-term, doesn't mean you will be. Besides that, isn't there a science that sex and feelings of love are connected? Like, sex is impossible without at least some underlying emotions? I might be entirely wrong, in which case forgive me for spreading misinformation, but if that's so and things don't go as planned, you've gotten emotionally invested in someone too early and wind up getting hurt. You do you, I just don't think it's smart. Have you ever discovered something big by looking through someone’s phone, Facebook, email, etc.? No. Have you kept anything from your past relationships? (Things they left at your house, gifts, notes, etc) Do you think that’s a big deal for future relationships or not? Yeah, like plushies and little stuff like that. When it's tiny things like I just mentioned, I really don't think it matters. I think some things might be questionable to keep, but at the same time, I don't think it's really wrong to keep memories of a happy time, if the thing still brings you joy and has been emotionally disconnected from the ex? Idk. Do you have any financial regrets? Either way, what’s an example of a GOOD financial decision you’ve made? Going to and dropping out of college three fucking times. I don't know about a good financial decision seeing as I'm not even in charge of my own finances, nor really have any to begin with. Are you a believer in “signs” from the Universe about things in your life? If you are, can you think of a particular example? No. Name some things that one or both of your parents are really good at or really interested in. Mom LOVES medical stuff, like watching surgeries and stuff like that. She is also absolutely incredible with children. Dad likes sports a lot, hockey and football especially. Think of a good friend of the opposite sex (currently or in the past). Have you ever had any sort of “more than a friend” or sexual thoughts about them? If not, can you explain why? Well, we dated briefly, so... It was awkward to, but I let myself imagine sexual situations a few times to help myself understand if I really did like-like him, or if he was truly just a brother to me. Turns out, he's a bro. If someone told you that you would never achieve something and you ended up doing it, would you have any interest in finding that person and showing them? I'ma be honest, yes. I wouldn't actively seek them out, but rather just hope they somehow find out or I run into them or something. What is the most jealousy-induced thing you’ve ever done? Apparently, be the girl Juan liked instead of this girl that literally threatened to deck me. Guess what? We're friends now lmaoooo.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''white rabbit'' by egypt central

[wests-wow-gang]

Seratoph is Asked Questions by a Disembodied Voice

Art did by me but I’ll make some better stuff in the future i swear

BASICS

► Name ➔ “Seratoph. Just Seratoph. There are nicknames, but that’s basically it.”

► Are you single ➔ “Uh, y-yeah! I mean, I joke here and there, and I like thinking about it, but it’s nothing I actively search for. Maybe I’ll run into it some day.”

► Are you happy ➔ “It’s a weird mix. I’m dealing w-with a lot right now, but at the same time, I feel like my friends have my back. Emotionally and physically, th-that is.”

► Are you angry ➔ “Alright. Again, it’s a weird mix. Old gang showing up? P-Pisses me the hell off. And scares me. But again, friends help.”

► Are your parents still married ➔ “My birth parents? I don’t know, they can die in a hole in all h-honesty. My. . “ A deep, regretful sigh. “Old dad, Harph, was never married while I-I was with him.”

SEVEN FACTS

► Birth Place ➔ “Darkshore. Don’t remember it much. I-I probably am not going back.” 

► Hair Color ➔ “Purple, kinda. All natural.”

► Birthday ➔ “I remember it was in February! It was. . . O-Oh. Oh shit. . . Aww fuck when is my exact birthda--” A few moments pass. Probably just him going through a foolish panic. He eventually comes around. “Twenty-seventh. Let’s just say the twenty seventh.”

► Mood ➔ “Skeptical. I’m s-still on the lookout. I’m planning a strike against the Abandoned Moonlight. Making sure we weren’t followed from the first mission. B-But yeah. I’m just keeping an eye out.”

► Gender ➔ “I’m a boy. A very, very boy. . . B-Boy. I’m boy. Yeeeaaaaaaahhhhhh boooooyyyyyy. . .”

► Summer or winter ➔ “Winter. The wilds are beautiful, animals become more inclined t-to cuddle, and nights come sooner.”

► Morning or afternoon ➔ “Afternoon, p-probably. I like the night, but the sun’s out, just soaking on your skin. . . It’s the best.”

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

► Are you in love ➔ “Not at the moment, but hey, a-again, still open to it if I happen on it.”

► Do you believe in love at first sight ➔ “I-I don’t know. Maybe at the moment, because I’m younger, yeah. But maybe when I’m a thousand or something, it’ll t-take more than just a look. But I do see some people sometimes, and I-I’m just thinking. . . Damn. You’d be nice t-to be held by next to a campfire. That’s very specific, b-but next question.”

► Who ended your last relationship ➔ “I-I’ve never had one before. I mean, non-romantic ones? The one with Harph ended because h-he thought I would be better off as an assassin and thief than as a kid!” A moment passes. “Okay. . . Deep breaths. . . Deep breaths. . .”

► Have you ever broken someone’s heart ➔ “Well, to bring up Harph again, yeah. He seemed pretty sad when me and my friends ditched him through a portal. I also broke his hand. With a blade. Wrist down. Th-Thought he’d be more pissed about that. . .”

► Are you afraid of commitments ➔ “I don’t know. So far, with all my problems, I just ran away. But I think the keg taught me th-that I need to face them sometimes. So I think that might’ve indirectly helped me w-warm up to that idea.”

► Have you hugged someone within the last week? ➔ “Yeah. Friends, family, friends-that-became-family. It feels good to be able to say that I’ve hugged someone. I-It makes me feel. . . Wanted? Which is great after going it solo for so long.”

► Have you ever had a secret admirer ➔ “No. But I’ve secret admired. Not like, intensely o-or with anyone I talk to. But as I have said earlier, once in a blue moon I-I’ll see someone who treats me and everyone nicely, and they look amazing, and they are amazing, and I’m j-just. . . Wow. How do y-you exist.”

► Have you ever broken your own heart? ➔ “I mean, I guess so. S-Set my expectations high, thought something was going to go my way. Then. . . Plop. Just a hard slap on th-the ground.”

FIVE CHOICES

► Love or lust ➔ “Love, probably. I mean, while I wouldn’t mind, y-you know. . . Having a special n-night some day. . . I think love takes priority.”

► Cats or Dogs ➔ “C-Cats. I love dogs as well, but cats have always been a comfort zone of mine. Both as an animal and as for my druid form.”

► A few best friends or many regular friends ➔ “A few best friends. Basically wh-what I have now, with a few familiar faces thrown in. I like my friends circle small. I feel closer t-to them, and more connected. And I know for a fact that th-they’re safe.”

► Wild night out or romantic night in ➔ “While the latter has it’s appeal. . . Wild night out. It’s a-always guaranteed fun.”

► Day or night ➔ “D-Do. . . Do I really need to answer this?”

FOUR HAVE YOU EVERS

► Been caught sneaking out ➔ “Well, with my old parents, no. The only time I snuck out w-was the one time they would never see me again. Then with Harph, no. Not only did he teach me how to sneak, b-but I never needed to sneak out. As long as I didn’t lead anyone back t-to where we were sleeping, I could leave whenever I wanted.”

► Fallen down/up the stairs ➔ “Like, once in a while? But I’m used to rough terrain, s-so not too often.”

► Wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? ➔ “Food, yeah. That’s when I st-started eating tree bark, which is consumable alongside meals, by the way, and i-it isn’t just me being a weird outsider! Other than that. . . Uhh. . . Friends. Th-That hurt. But I have that now.”

► Wanted to disappear ➔ “Well, yes. And t-technically, I did. For six years, before I eventually gutted up a-and walked up to the keg.”

FOUR PREFERENCES

► Smile or eyes ➔ “Uhhhh. . . Smile? I-I mean, I can read a smile more. And they usually mean someone’s happy. So when I see someone smile at me, I-I feel a bit better.”

► Shorter or Taller ➔ “If I had t-to choose, then taller. I don’t really mind, but something about someone wh-who’s just towering, but in a non-threatening way, m-makes me feel a bit safer. Like they’d be able to beat back anyone who tried to start something nearby.”

► Intelligence or Attraction ➔ “I g-guess. . . Intelligence? But not like, how long they were in school, or how many techniques they know by heart to put me in a ch-chokehold. More l-like, how well they know how to navigate life. And what they do with their experiences.”

► Hook-up or Relationship ➔ “Probably relationship. I-I mean, I guess the former has their place, but. . . Yeah. I think I’ve become more accustomed to relationships.”

FAMILY

► Do you and your family get along ➔ “The keg? Y-Yeah. My birth parents? No. Last th-thing I did to them was left them a note saying ‘fuck you, from Mr. Seratoph’ and smashing a window. Then with Harph. . . Well, last time I saw him before that m-mission, I cut off his hand. I have. . . Complicated relationships.”

► Would you say you have a “messed up life” ➔ “I mean, people have it worse, and it’s getting better. If my life only w-went until I was about thirty? Probably yeah, then. But I have thousands upon th-thousands of years ahead of me. The rest could treat me l-like royalty for all I know.”

► Have you ever ran away from home ➔ “. . . No. Never did. Why would I ever run away from-- By Elune yes I ran from home!”

► Have you ever gotten kicked out ➔ “I mean, unless if being kicked out after you ran away counts, th-then no. Also, I-I think I should use ‘fuck you, from Mr. Seratoph’ more often. Th-That was the coolest thing a twelve year old could have ever said.”

FRIENDS

► Do you secretly hate one of your friends ➔ “N-No. I’d bring it up to them before it g-got to that level. And if I did hate them, th-they’d know.”

► Do you consider all of your friends good friends ➔ “Y-Yeah! I really feel better when I’m around them, even if I was feeling good before.”

► Who is your best friend ➔ “Hmmmm. . . I-I mean, the other day, I was on a sugar high, and i-it was almost against my will about how much I thought Jax was a great friend. Pryn hired me as a bodyguard when I was low on jobs a-and just first getting into Stormwind. Ash and Jiira reluctantly took me in despite their better judgement, a-and basically helped kick off my new, better life. A-And they’re helping me now. Cel has b-been a great friend overall and I think sh-she’s really comforting to talk to and hang around.” He sighs, and rubs his face in frustration while trying to think. “G-Get back to me on that, one of these centuries.”

► Who knows everything about you ➔ “Cel, surprisingly. Sh-She’s really easy to vent to whenever sh-she’s willing to take it. Jax and Ash are also big players for th-that field. Kae as well, especially since she’s helped me get testosterone. Pryn was the one who recommended I talk to her about th-that.” 

I got tagged by @actionjaxkol who held me at gunpoint while asking me these questions and forced me to answer them in character.

I tag @engineermermaid, and @riizendraconis if they’d like to answer! (I’d tag more but Jax got’em. RIP)

#seratoph's journal #ask game #not technically a game but ill lump it there to organise