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tuliptiger · 1 year

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Just saw a post about a person being upset or frazzled that depression and anxiety are the "everyman" mental illness. I want to proceed this by saying I am NOT going to be shitting on this person at all and they have a point but I didn't quite agree with uhm the tone or everything about it.

I don't think it's wrong or bad that these two specific mental illnesses have a wider understanding and reach. They have been watered down for lack of a better term because they have come to mean many things including less debilitating symptoms and signs. This is not to say it's bad, I don't think. I think it's objectively good that more people are able to look at themselves and talk with medical professionals and be able to be helped for any severity be it minor or major.

And that was their main point of contention though because the more debilitating cases of anxiety and depression are taken less seriously when using the terms "depression" and "anxiety". I think that is completely a valid point and reasonable thing to be upset about.

However...

I do not think the answer is to "take back" the terms and that also isn't what they said or implied either. What I really heard from them and that post was "when I talk about my life altering devastating mental illness I want to be taken seriously and understood without having to go into detail or explain it" (because the last part can and is incredibly exhausting and frustrating especially if it is not outright understood or has a base assumption of the less debilitating ideas and versions). What I heard was "I want to be taken seriously". That ISN'T what they said but it is what I understood from it.

In which case the solution to this is for people to respect each other, listen to each other with good intentions and faith, and take each other seriously when we talk about ourselves. Unfortunately that's an individual and societal problem that runs a little too deep for this post.

As for the terms, there probably does need to be a language separation between severities of depression and anxiety even though there are rough versions of those already. Like social anxiety, moderate depression, major depressive disorder, chronic depression, oct, ptsd, etc. The very word depression has kind of lost it's oomf but I think for a relatively good reason. Maybe there should be an entire other word for major depression that doesn't include that phrase though to help with that communication gap. IDK. My two cents if that's worth anything.

#watering down #words #depression #anxiety #mental illness #who knows man #i have both and they are both minor #TO ME #who knows how someone else would handle my mental illnesses #i think its all pretty personal and unique and not at the same time because some #feels or has felt what anyone else has felt or feels at any one given moment #no one is truly alone in their suffering or hardships #anyway #i directly benefitted from this of the terms because unless I did show major signs and symptoms i dont #think i wouldve ever been taken seriously or got help if this happened a couple decades ago #who knows maybe it would've gotten worse without the help and then i could justify calling what i have depression #and thats me being defensive about this im glad i got the help when it was minor and im glad the terms were available to me #i am sorry that people dont take common words seriously though im the cultural social sphere we live in though #i think people should just take you seriously no matter

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pcktknife · 2 years

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skullgirls and indivisible is so weird to me as i hear all these great things then you look at who made it and. and wow

Im literally reading up on all of it right now woah

#i got into skullgirls when i was younger and didnt really know much abt lab zero outside of like general weirdo shit thats in the game i...#knew nothin about the actual developers/team/what have you i waa scrollin thru indivisibles tag and im seein its no longer in development #i dont really follow stuff like that as far as i knew it was done so im like reading up on what happened now and woah #glad the dudes not like connected to the games anymore and i feel bad for the ppl who had to work w him that fuckin sucks #sucks that indivisible had to end like that it really was a good game felt like a lot of care went into it #this is just my own curiosity but i wonder how they were able to completely detach mike(?) from the games if i assume he owned it?#or smth like that?i dont really know how all that works ill have to read back over the articles i probably skimmed over something important #asks #anon

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lunarscaled · 1 year

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They're taking a nap, head pillowed face down on their forearms at the table, and Raum (seeing an opportunity to sate his curiosity) gently twirls a wayward strand of Lyric's hair around his finger. [ pssst. i'm really glad to see you're back!! <3 ]

-> There was something to be said about not letting their guard down around someone as powerful as Raum if they valued their sanity and soul intact. If anyone else had dared to do it, Lyric would have promptly given them a hard smack to the back of the head to wake them up, uncaring if someone's ego felt wounded or not. And yet here they are, asleep in the middle of their research once again with their face cushioned only by their arms above their book and notes and drying inkwell; they had likely claimed they were only resting their eyes for a moment before they found themselves fast asleep in that very spot ( and if it was them, or the tea, or insomnia catching up... who was to say? ) The typically vigilant magi, ever aware of their surroundings down to even the unseeable minute things, inhaled one long slow breath before breathing it out at the same place---a sure sign of their slumber.

-> With no awareness to swat his hand away, Raum is free to investigate it's texture all he likes. Lyric's hair is dense down to the roots, loosely coiled and springy: it's rich russet color was their mother's just as much as their own. Despite it's plush, rich appearance the hair around his fingertip is rather dry, splitting ends from lack of care, knots every so often if he looked close enough. Like many things about Lyric's life it was clear: they had never been taught how to care for their hair, and it's quality has suffered. What should be soft, bouncy, strong hair had become brittle and dulled by harsh, cheap shampoo ( hand soap. sometimes it was hand soap. ) and inconsistent washing, it's ends uneven from many years of self-given haircuts before they abandoned it all together. The split ends make its appearance seem all the more unruly and frazzled, even the lock curled around his finger shows signs of breakage that could have been avoided. It had gotten only minimally better since Raum started doing the shopping, if only because Lyric couldn't buy a single-purpose soap for every part of their body any more. For someone who might have hoped their hair was lush and rich as it seemed it could be, it was probably disappointing to realize how much Lyric's self care lacked when examined up close. ( their hair wasn't the only thing that way, of course. their dried, calloused skin; how they treated wounds; their clothes with many patch marks. every part of lyric screamed that they felt their own body didn't matter. pampering, or even basic self love, was far beyond them. )

They shift a bit in their sleep, unconsciously making themselves more comfortable for rest even as his long, leaned form with the small of his back against the table edge treats itself to an indulgent inspection of their features.

#cantuscorvi #* questions and answers.#⋇ FEAR WILL BE THE ENEMY AND DEATH ITS CONSEQUENCE: MAIN #HIIII i didnt realize people missed lyric so much lol #it felt like a short break personally but im still glad to inflict them on other people again >:)#plus i think having a chance to organize stuff from scratch was good. it feels much tidier now #also i will always highlight how lyrics lack of self care is both 1) they dont know how to care for themselves 2) theyre super depressed #and that feels like a waste of energy to invest in bc they're depressed #But thats also why acts of service and people doing things for them even like washing their hair is lyrics love language teehee #SURELY THAT CANT BE WEAPONIZED AGAINST THEM EITHER :)#⭐ there's a road that may lead you to good or to greed through the power your wishing commands ( cantuscorvi. )#i spelled it wrong the first time dont look at me

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dexaroth · 2 years

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i know its unrealistic and nonsense to feel bad bc im not as good as i could be within a hobby bc a hobby is supposed to be fun and occupy your time but i cant for the life of me not feel guilty about not drawing and not improving

like.. i have most of the resources. i often have the time. i have almost a thousand pictures in my reference folder to be used to practice and learn. i have an internet connection to be inspired and learn from those better than me and yet... i just don't feel like drawing. and i mean drawing something grand.. not just the dozens of doodles and oc refsheets i keep churning.. i want to do standalone pieces like i used to and look at them fondly and feel proud of something. but i just dont have the flame to do it for months and months on end

i mean obviously this is much more likely to happen when it has been your primary hobby for over like 7 years contrary to, say, webpage coding which i just started to learn like a year ago. what's keeping me from wanting to draw though? its so frustrating to know you Have the Potential to be a good artist and knowing How you could become more but just.. not feeling like it. and telling urself im gonna draw tomorrow and tomorrow comes and its one of those days you'd rather stare at a wall the whole afternoon and it just keeps going and going and you stay stumped

#yes i have the potential to do so much better than what i can show you right now dude trust me #not only for personal reasons but i also want to start looking into doing commissions for real and like.#thats insane #idk what to draw > set up comms so someone gives me smn to draw > they dont know what i can draw > idk what to draw > repeat #im also like the guy that loves giving gift art but ive had so many cases where i drew for a rando and they just. treated it like a product #sold along the character like cool! so glad i spent my time into a drawing for you to throw it into your garage sale like everything else!#and that looming fucking awful sense of 'originality' like boohoo someone drew this already waaaa i dont believe in originality why do i >#> care so much. Why. its like knowing there isnt a monster under ur bed and still suffocating yourself inside the bedsheets. nonsense...#this is so tiring. not drawing to me feels like neglecting a dear friend #even though i dont feel bad at not practicing at a game. at not knowing how to code everything in 2 days #at not knowing the best clays to sculpt or the best knitting tricks.#bc its a fucking hobby. i should feel obligated to do it i should have fun when i want to and yet i chain myself to it #i shouldn't fell obligated* oop #could you imagine how crazy stupid it'd be that a construction worker felt bad for not building some lately #WHY AM I LIKE THIS!!! I DONT GET IT!!!#dextxt #<its always funny to end a post with a cry and then have it followed by lowercase txt tag like teehee just another white guy moment #but i do mean im tired and frustrated and miserable for nothing.. war and hate on planet earth or whatever. *explodes*

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lessthanimpressedlesbian · 1 year

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It's regret hours

#you ever remember something you did to someone and it wasn't as bad as what they did to you #but you still feel bad for doing it?#thats me rn #i just remembered that i took a cd from my estranged twin's room #and cd that I BOUGHT might i add #but it was in his room and i took it when he wasnt there #and i should have just asked for it back but i was feeling vindictive so i didnt #and it doesnt compare to him moving my shit out when i told him not to #but i still wouldnt want him taking something from me that he felt belonged to him #especially when im not there #but it was unopened! there was still plastic wrap on it! i bought it 5 years ago for my mom!#i figured he wouldn't miss it #and he hasnt asked about it #but i still feel bad #i regret how i went about it but im glad i have the cd now #its the blue man group #i bought it when i saw them in orlando 5 yesrs sgo #i dont know why he had it #but whatever #i am feeing RegretTM

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postalplants · 2 years

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Venting again lol

How can "I don't think I'm more disabled than you," "I can't handle supporting you when you express symptoms of your disabilities," and "I can't handle you getting a service dog when I'm so disabled that I can't get a job" all be true? Throw in the fact that I didn't think that I could handle a job but had to for the sake of finances.

So I work, despite being so fucking exhausted by it and getting so fucking triggered every single shift I work. But I can't fucking say that! Because that's upsetting and destabilizing! You want me to be honest, but if you react like this to my honesty, how am I supposed to be honest??

I mentioned needing a service dog because I'm thinking about the fact that I'm struggling with my mental health and functioning but can't tell you that and I know that there are guarding and grounding tasks that a service dog can do that will help me do my job. And you know what! I need to get a second job because I give you the majority of my income and you still need more! You haven't asked me to get a second job but jesus christ you've done everything but.

#vent #im sitting in the work bathroom having an anxiety attack because my least favorite coworker wont shut up about me needing to retrain her #on things that ive already retrained her on while im on my fucking lunch. and it smells like shit in here and i want to cry.#and my body hurts so bad because ive been spending my days off working like a dog on things that need to get done around the house.#but i got told last night that im a deeply selfish person and all of the helpful things i do are just ways that i try to distract myself #from how selfish i know that i actually am.#the joke is that im so selfish because i told them that i need a car because i feel like i need to feel in control of my own life.#and thats selfish because apparently i control their lives by them driving me places and waiting at the hospital for me when im sick.#well. if i had a car you wouldve only had to drive me to & from my colonoscopy. and im really fucking sorry that i make your life harder #because im sick and disabled. im actually genuinely sorry and ive felt guilty for it since it happened and i tried to thank you for it and #ive been trying to do my part around the house to make up for it. and im glad that you finally confirmed that im a burden so that it #wasnt only in my imagination. you really feel like that i guess #god i cant SAY any of this because they didnt explicitly say that im a burden #they said that i controlled where they had to be when i was in the hospital and emergency room and had appointments.#its not a stretch to say that that implies that im a burden right? right?? am i crazy?#god i feel crazy.#and believe it or not these tags have NOTHING to do with the post lol.#also :) my other roommate wont talk to me until im adequately medicated :)#because im too much of a POS when im unmedicated for him to talk to me apparently.#and im the only selfish one because they give their lives up for me apparently? i guess i need to complain more about #how much effort i put in to try to help them? (i wouldnt actually do that because i dont DO things like that. even when ppl do them to me)#FUCK

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tealfruit · 4 months

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it's really fuckin weird being, I guess, Good At Dealing With Grief while being around people who are just absolutely brokenhearted and wrecked. and having to be like Well Guess I'll Just Get Busy On The Business Stuff.

#nerd alert #his wife is all like you know what youre in shock i know youre not processing it yet its ok #im like no i like speedran the five stages the night it happened. i might go back and replay slower later but like i get it.#like idk. i feel sad about it for sure. but like. idk she was showing videos of him she took while he was drunk of his ass #laughing hysterically at like nothing and being goofy and shit and im watching like. yeah :) thats my dad :) glad he was happy in life :)#and like knowing how he felt about me is like. the only things that really make me kinda sad #is that for one he wont be at my wedding. sadge.#for another i think he thought our relationship was a lot more strained than i thought it was #bc he couldnt bring himself to respect my gender or my name but honestly it was something i mostly had accepted #like yeah i was very clear about how i felt about being deadnamed but i think he thought i was a lot more mad about it #i was frustrated to be sure but i was like. yknow i have bigger problems im not THAT pressed about it.#i wish i couldve let him know that really it wasnt that big of a beef. i didnt Not want to see him or talk to him in general #i just was never good at reaching out LOL #but it makes me kinda sad he died thinking i didnt want to talk to him much. but at least i know he loved me and was glad im happy #according to his wife and my bro he was all like 'i cant think of her as a boy and she might be kinda misled but im glad shes happy'#which like. ok sure. thats sweet enough i guess and im glad he did know i was happy at least #idk. its weeeeeeiird

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hoshiyoshis · 6 months

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ive never hated a doctor quicker than i have now.

#daisy.txt #im gonna rant in the tags and >> has to do w it so i'll just tag it with a tw so anyone doesnt get exposed to this kind of shit #fatphobia tw #mr bone doctor guy... can you please talk to my father abt the fractured bone and treatment for that #instead of going off on a VERY LONG speech abt how hes fat and needs to lose weight or he'll die #like. you can talk abt how he needs to lose weight without harping on it endlessly.#was it relevant? yes but not to the extent of 'i'm going to rant about this for several minutes before i even talk to you about the actual #injury that you're here to see me about. btw sugar is the devil and poison dont put it in ur body ever'#like. my guy. i know ppl with eating disorders. ive seen ppl say this kind of talk directly contributed to the way they felt abt food #like. say what u fucking mean. EXCESSIVE amounts is bad. not all sugar is automatically bad.#like. yes i know he has a point! my dad and i both agree he has a point! but i heavily disagree on how that message was put across #he has a fractured bone in his upper arm. this doesnt mean 'rant for several minutes abt how all sugar is poison.' and then be wishy-washy #as hell with the actual reality of shit. we went from 'yeah we'll need a CT scan ur gonna need surgery'#to him bringing a coworker in who said 'are you sure that (bone fracture he said) is what it is? it looks like (diferent thing) to me'#and him agreeing like oh yeah thats it #(nothing against getting a second opinion btw like im glad he did!!! but the man didnt say 'you might need surgery' he said 'you will')#(and i think he could have held back on the definite until he KNEW)#and then he went from 'its 50-50 surgery or let it heal let me talk to my colleagues in [city]' to #'ok theyre not gonna do surgery they think it can just heal naturally and i agree w them'#like. my guy! im glad u got a second opinion but can u literally not come in guns blazing with 'UR DEF GONNA NEED SURGERY' if ur not a hund #on whether or not he'll need surgery??? cite it as an option bc the moment he walked out of the room my dad and i looked at each other like #'well... fuck.' because we thought he'd have to have surgery!!!#these tags are getting long but holy fuck i do not like this guy. something abt all of it together just pissed me tf off

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todayisafridaynight · 9 months

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YIPPEEEEEE I'M SOSOSOSO EXCITED FOR THE FIC I'm glad it sounds like you've had a pretty good day, it's well-deserved! :] I love Barbie aesthetically... I love Meta Knight...

OH BUT YEAH this was actually my third time watching The Deer King but it is JUST as good as the first... As I've Said I really love Tsutsumi's character and his little daughter and how their relationship progresses [Top Ten Most Doting Fathers Every Other Scene Makes Me Violently Clutch Whatever I Can Get My Hands On], BUT ASIDE FROM THAT the cast as a whole is very enjoyable!

Although it's a novel adaptation, it's also really intuitive to understand the setting and lore thanks to its decision to put personal conflicts in the foreground while the politics and major themes develop in the background, on top of some pretty well-utilized exposition and the movie's strong visual storytelling/direction/editing.

Visually It's Stunning, there isn't a single frame that's not SEAMLESS, but what stands out to me consistently throughout every scene is definitely how much weight there is to every movement [like The Physics Are Off The Charts, but it's also exaggerated to emphasize things in the way only animation can], and how strong the character "acting" is.

OVERALL. MAGNIFIQUE. I do Highly Recommend checking it out if you were interested :] Tsutsumi's character isn't the type to talk much but y'know... proud of him...

DON'T BE EXCITED YOU'RE SETTING YOURSELF UP FOR DISAPPOINTMENT but if i release it any time soon.. i hope you find some enjoyment from it.. but omg meta knight :)

THREE TIMES WATCHING well now i have to watch it if you've watched it three times: it MUST be worth its salt then.. 👁️👁️

#snap chats #i made him small so he couldnt take up The Whole Page... i coulda just posted my whole B&N haul but thats not the point of the ask ANYWAY #will have to give Deer King a watch when i get the time.. and after WMA2... turns out all my writing time took up all my B&N time..#oh but speaking of :) yeah i had a good day all things considered #i love the aesthetic of barbie too so im glad the movie was good.... def a fun watch even if it felt very In Your Face sometimes #but i mean it's for kids and if you wanna get a message across You Better Get It Across yk.#also sometimes you just gotta grab people by the shoulders and shake them with your message. i mean.#they basically did that in the movie too to resolve their conflict LMAO BUT YEAH OVERALL FUN MOVIE ENJOYED IT PLENTY #META KNIGHT SO SILLAY THO when i was growing up my sis and i LOVED kirby air ride and i remember in free-trial you could play as him #im p sure you could also play as him in Races but cmon... city trial was the selling point of that game... love him 5ever..#but nooo while i was at B&N i accidentally bought a new manga and a new bookmark 😷#i did try looking for After The Rain since i know THAT one has an english translation but alas... i just saw After The Bitch ☠️☠️#i forget the whole title dont even ask me i just saw After The Bitch and snorted and continued looking down the aisle for anythin else #the manga i did get's called Our Dining Table. i didnt MEAN to buy it #i dont usually read manga that star young adults I Like That Middle-Aged Flavor. like Dont Call Me Daddy but yk #i was just skimming it and by the time store was about to close i ended up on chapter 2 so i figured Might As Well #it was cute SOOOO why not. i could always learn a thing or two from manga and how they panel/pace things anyhow #i also got a new bookmark since i always like to get bookmarks when i get a new book :) cause IDK its the hoarder genes in me ig #the bookmark i got this time was this like. purple string charm with a butterfly pendant Very Pretty #almost as pretty as this other butterfly bookmark i have of a purple emperor #THAT one has a gold bar- thought one of the panels on its wings is missing.... still a good bookmark tho ive had it forever LMAO #butterflies always make me think of my sister- i feel like i mentioned that before but i also cant remember doing so..#fucked up that butterflies were for my sis and bees were for me The Fuck You Tryna Say Dad 😭 IM NOT A BEE 😭😭#bees are cooler than me... but they also die really easily so.... I Repeat Fuck You Mean Old Man...#jk i know what he means.. he means i was an asshole ☠️ weird-naming-conventions-aside NO WAIT I REMEMBERED A STUPID THING #i saw this weird-as-hell bee i saw on my walk yesterday.... tried looking up what it was but couldnt find anything..#in any case. its funny i think of my sis with butterflies since owls Also remind me of her since she LOVED owls growing up #i DEF know i mentioned that when i was talking about rings i owned... WHICH ALSO REMINDS ME #for the longest time i had this old-as-hell butterfly ring with like. Movable Wings since the wings were attached with springs #but one of the springs disconnected years ago so it's just kinda had one and a half wings BUT I FIXED IT RECENTLY

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rafeandonlyrafe · 1 month

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desperate measures

words: 1.7k

warnings: 18+ only!, smut, p in v sex, BABY TRAPPING!, pregnancy, female receiving oral

rafe thought it was just his paranoia, the gnawing thought in his mind that you were going to leave him. he never considered that it could be true, that you were putting plans into place.

until a rumor spread that you were fed up with his behavior. his over protectiveness, his anger issues. you love him, but think he needs to heal without you first. that's the claim thats whispered to him at the party, one you aren't attending, staying home to study for your online college class.

rafe rushes home, rage flooding through his veins, knowing he needs to do everything and anything to get you to stay.

“hey gorgeous, almost done studying?” rafe combs his fingers through your hair, pressing a kiss to your head.

“yeah.” you hum, tilting your head up to allow rafe to press a kiss to your lips. “just give me 15 more minutes and ill come to bed, mkay?”

“okay.” rafe nods, squeezing your shoulder in support as you go back to typing out your essay. 15 minutes gives him plenty of time to do what he needs to.

rafe grabs the condoms out of his bedside table drawer, throwing them all onto the bed. he's not sure how many tries it'll take, but he's determined.

he moves to your pinboard next, grabbing a tack that holds up a picture of you and rafe when you first started your relationship, before you saw the dark side of him. rafe frowns at the picture instead of mimicking the smile in it like he normally does, now noticing the difference in you, your smile is not as wide, eyes duller, cheeks not as full.

“fuck.” rafe shakes his head, angry at himself for letting you down without even realizing it. things are going to change, he has to fix it. he can’t let you leave. rafe moves back to the bed, pin in hand as he takes a condom package and presses a hole through it, making sure to skewer it completely through. he continues until every condom is poked, glad for once that you reacted badly to birth control and had to seek other methods to prevent getting pregnant.

rafe cleans up quickly, tossing everything back into the drawer and then pinning the picture back up, looking over the other snapshots that you put up. there's some of your friends, but most are of you and rafe. rafe knows you love him, he just needs to make sure you never stop.

“whatcha looking at?” you ask as you enter the room, voice light and airy despite the bags under your eyes. rafe credited it to you taking college classes, but was now worried that he contributed to your current state.

“just how beautiful you are.” rafe doesn't miss the look on your face, the surprise.

“oh.” you blush, raising your hands to press your fingertips into your cheeks.

“and im really sorry if i haven't been telling you that enough lately.” rafe crosses over to you, hands coming to cup your cheeks, your hands trapped under his.

“what are you doing rafe?” you question.

“i haven’t been treating you well enough lately and im so sorry for that baby. i love you.” rafe presses his lips against yours. you react to the kiss, pushing past the surprise to kiss back, sliding your hands out from under his to grip his shirt, tugging his body into yours.

“are you tired princess?” rafe asks, lips still skimming over yours as he questions it.

“n-no.” you shake your head, bottom lip pouting out, making rafe lean in to kiss it. “why?”

“because i want you.” rafe smirks. he's used to your excuses. tired, headache, need to shave, need to eat, anything to get out of it.

“oh!” your eyebrows widen. “yeah.” you press yourself closer to rafe. it's been a long time since you felt the rush of lust for him, since he's treated you so sweetly, talked so candidly. no sign of anger or resentment hiding in his eyes. “yeah, i want you too.”

“good.” rafe moves you to the bed. his hands work effortlessly as his mouth distracts you, pulling at your clothes until you're naked, all of his clothes still on.

“rafe, let me see you.” you pout, tugging at his shirt.

“no, let me focus on you, princess.” rafe moves lower to wrap his mouth around your nipple, giving you full attention while his other hand cups the other side of your chest.

“rafe.” you whine, completely forgetting about your relationship issues, about how you were just thinking of the right time to leave him as he plays with your chest, ignoring your cries and pleas for him to give you more.

“spread your legs, baby.” rafe pushes at your thighs until you help him, spreading your knees apart to present yourself to him.

rafe lays between your thighs, but not before pulling his shirt off, granting you your wish of having him at least get closer to the state of undress you're in.

“such a pretty pussy baby. gonna give it so much lovin’, it's what you deserve.” rafe rubs your inner thighs, eyes locked on your wetness.

“what has gotten into you rafe?” you let out a breathy laugh, starting to get slightly suspicious of how sweet he's acting.

“just wanna appreciate my lovely girl.” rafe moves closer, inhaling your scent before his tongue licks through your wetness.

you fist your hands in the sheets as he focuses in on your clit, knowing nothing gets you off faster than him sucking at your most sensitive part.

“rafe, oh my god!” you squeal. it's been a long time since he's given you head, and rafe is wondering himself why it's been so long since he tasted you on his tongue, moaning to himself as he swipes through what he swears is better than pure honey.

“so delicious.” he moans, the words vibrating over your pussy as he barely pulls away to speak, mouth greedily sucking at your clit, tongue rolling incessantly over it.

“it-it feels so good.” you moan, moving one hand to rafes head, his hair too short to grip onto, but you need the physical connection to him.

rafes eyes slide closed, concentrating on making you cum as soon as possible so he can get inside of you, his cock so hard he has to grind into the bed just to relieve himself slightly, knowing what he is about to.

rafe brings a finger to your entrance, carefully pushing in, knowing since it's been a while that he's going to have to open you up to take him. he immediately picks up speed to match to intensity of his mouth, only stopping sucking to press a few kisses to your clit.

“im-im gonna cum rafe, oh my god!” you let out a squeal, back arching off the bed as he works you until your high breaks through, legs clenching around his head, thighs pressing in but rafe doesn't let it deter him as he works you through it, only stopping when your whine from the oversensitivity and push at his head.

“gotta get inside you.” rafe pulls away, making sure to remove his finger carefully. he reaches over to the bedside table, grabbing a condom, knowing you won't notice the small hole pressed through the foil as you breathe deeply, recovering from your orgasm.

rafe tears the packaging open, standing up to briefly pull his pants and underwear off, sliding the condom over his hard cock, smirking when he can tell precisely where the small hole is. no way you wouldn't get pregnant, and then there is no way you'd be able to leave him.

“how you want me baby?�� rafe asks. he knows his preference. to turn you over and have you on your hands and knees, ass presented to him.

“like this.” you open your arms up, wanting rafe close to you.

he nods, draping himself over your body, lips covering yours as his cock presses against your entrance, sinking in with a low moan.

your arms wrap around rafes shoulders, keeping him close to you, your chests pressed together as he lets you adjust for a moment, his cock pressing against your walls.

“god, ive missed this.” you mew out.

“gonna work on treating you so much better.” rafe says, a look of seriousness overtaking his features. “you're mine, baby.” he finished his words with a thrust. “all mine.”

“rafe!” you finally manage to shout out. you hear his footsteps pounding up the stairs, entering the bedroom and then finally the bathroom where you're hunched over the toilet.

“baby?” he questions, kneeling next to you, hands moving carefully.

“it's my stomach.” you groan, pressing a hand to your abdomen. “i must have come down with something.”

“yeah.” rafe nods. “im gonna get you a water.” rafe has to leave the room, he can't let you see him celebrate your morning sickness when you don't even know the true cause yet.

“when you get a minute…” your hands are wrestling with each other behind your back, trying to control your nerves. “i need to talk to you.”

rafe smiles. surely you must have had a suspicion yourself and taken a pregnancy test. surely that's what you must be holding behind your back.

“i have a minute right now.” rafe stands up from his desk, crossing the room. when he goes to place his hands on your shoulders, you take a deep inhale, not even meaning to retreat yet you step back into the doorway.

“baby?” rafe questions.

“im pregnant.” you blurt out.

rafe tries to control his excitement, tries to mimic shock before he pulls you into a hug, feeling how tense you are. “baby, that’s so exciting! oh my god, we are gonna be parents.” he takes your face in his hands, pressing a kiss to your lips, even though you don’t really reciprocate. “you’re gonna be the best mom ever.”

“i… i have something else to tell you too.” you feel tears fill your eyes, not stopping them from flowing down your cheeks. “i was gonna break up with you.” you let out a sob, burying your face in rafes chest as you continue. “i was gonna break up with you until i took a test and it came back positive. i’m so sorry rafe, i never wanted to leave i just thought-”

“hey, shh.” rafe strokes your back gently. “the past is the past. this baby will bring us together, okay? we are gonna be parents, happy, in love parents. thats what matters.”

you nod, snuggling into rafe as he kisses the top of your head, glad that you can’t see the smirk on his face, his plan executed perfectly.

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