#her selfishness makes me miss my grandma | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shanastoryteller · 4 months

Note

Merry Christmas Grandma!! Three faced goddess was so cool?!? I need to know what happens next!🎅🏻☃️

a continuations of 1 2

Tony thinks that it’s probably selfish of him (knows that it’s selfish of him) but he never wanted to be king.

It wasn’t even an option, really. Greg was so much older than him and hated him from the day he was born. He thought that a spare made him expendable and he’d always hated that, even though Tony was so clearly not planned.

He’d been right, in the end.

There should have been more of them, Tony should have grown up with plenty of siblings, because everyone says that the Starks rule by divine right and the lack of Starks really makes the devout nervous. But his mother had struggled to have Greg and ten years later they’d thought having Tony really would kill her.

Before the accident and he’d had a crown forced on his head, he’d thought that would be his real contribution to the kingdom. Marrying who he was told and having a half dozen or so kids to run through the castle so people would stop fretting.

Then he was the last Stark left alive and there was a war and even though he knew he had a duty to secure the line of succession, it just didn’t seem possible. Turning a foreign royal or one of his own ambitious nobles into a princess and mother of his children had sounded fine, had been something he’d discussed with Rhodey as they plotted and planned how to live their lives outside the constraints of propriety.

But making one of them his queen? Impossible.

He needs someone he can trust to rule, in case the worst should happen. He needs someone who he can trust to rule even if it shouldn’t, so he has the freedom to actually help with this war that he’s found himself in the middle of instead of staying safe and useless in the castle.

Rhodey could help manage his soldiers and plan their battles and would stay by his side every minute that he could, but Tony needed something more, something that he never would have needed if he’d simply stayed a prince.

He needed a wife he could trust.

He got so, so lucky with Pepper.

“I met your champion,” she says, curled into his side with her head on his chest. He always runs hot now with the star living under his skin. It’s a cold night but they’re only covered by a sheet, trapping the heat he gives off around them. “Very pretty.”

“Hey,” he says, but he’s smiling. “He is that. Does he seem like he’s doing okay? I feel bad having him fight so soon, but he insisted. I guess it’s familiar.”

“War is war,” she agrees. “Yes. He spoke fondly of you.”

He blinks down at her, perplexed. “He did?”

Pepper’s lips twitch. “Edward you. He did make a pointed comment about the king’s absence that I graciously ignored.”

He saw Steve literally two days ago! But he is missing some important information. “It’s not my fault I met him as Edward first! You know they found him at the edge of the North border and he literally fought his way through battle that was in his way? Who does that? If I showed up seventy years in the future I’d need a stiff drink and a nap before anything else not to jump into work.”

“You know he needs the distraction,” she says. He’s trying to work on that but it’s hard when there’s a literal war going on. When it’s over, they’ll all get a chance to rest. “You could tell him the truth.”

No one knows the truth, not all of it, except for Rhodey and Pepper. “He already worries about me too much – both as Edward and the Iron Mage. If he knows not only are they same person, but also the king he’s duty bound to serve and protect, it’ll make things complicated. Too many conflicting orders.”

“Yeah,” Pepper says, soft and teasing, “that will make things complicated.”

#prompt answers #prompts are closed #asks #anon #avengers

310 notes · View notes

bitchinbarzal · 10 months

Text

sign the papers | mat & mama

The house was awfully quiet when the kids were with Mat. The odd time when you kept Wyatt it was nice to have some company but she couldn’t talk or really understand anything yet.

You had called up Miles’ wife not long after the separation to ask her opinion on the split and a possible divorce. She was obviously concerned immediately but you explained what had happened and calmed her.

“sometimes marriages just run their course. we made five beautiful kids, we built a home, I just think me and mat want different things now”

The kids were confused, why there was now a daddy’s house and a mommy’s house. why they didn’t have movie night with their parents any longer.

Ivy tried listening to her parents when she was at home, listening while her dad cried on the phone to her grandma and her mom would stress out on the phone to her friends.

You had spoken to a lawyer, drafted up divorce papers, discussed financial settlements, custody of the kids.

When you saw Mat you had tried to mention it to him, softly. You knew how he felt about the whole thing.

You had managed to mention it when he dropped the kids back off, asking if he could come in and see Wyatt. You, of course, said yes.

You watched him come into the house, as if he’s never left it. He sat on the rocking chair in Wyatt’s nursery, rocking her to sleep and mumbling a soft story to her.

You watched them on the baby monitor, a soft smile as you listened to him talking to your baby.

“Hi sweet girl, hi meatball. I missed you, I’ve missed you so much”

You allowed them their time together while putting Ivy, Ryder and Bailey to sleep. When you’d both finished the night routine you met in the hallway, closing the opposing doors from one another.

“She asleep?” He asks about Ivy and you nod “out like a light”

He follows you down the stairs into the playroom where you begin cleaning up. Mat joins in, picking up stray toys the kids had thrown around.

“For being so little they make a massive mess” he jokes, breaking the silence.

You laugh “Yeah, they take after their dad I’m sure”

When the room is cleaned and tiny, you walk Mat to the door.

“Thanks for letting me put her to bed, it means a lot when I don’t have her-“

“I’m filing for divorce” you interrupted him.

You interrupted him telling you how much he appreciated his time with his daughter to tell him you were filing for divorce.

“Oh” is all he said

You nodded, biting your bottom lip “I just wanted to tell you before the papers came through in the mail”

He hums “So we’re not going to talk about this?”

“There’s nothing to talk about Mat”

He laughs, viciously “You kicked me out of our house and we haven’t spoken since I feel like there was definitely a conversation in there somewhere!”

“Mathew, you need to leave”

“Stop doing that!” He exclaims “Doing what?”

“Calling me Mathew and making me leave when there is the slightest inconvenience for you! I want to save our marriage, I want to save our family and you don’t seem to care”

You took a deep breath and replied “I stopped being able to care a long time ago, Mat. Please just go and sign the papers when they come in”

He didn’t want to fight any longer, he couldn’t fight with you anymore. Not when you were being selfish and never listening to his point of view. At the bottom line of it all, he loved you regardless.

So instead, he leaned down and kissed your forehead, while his hand supported the back of your head.

“I will always love you, y/n. from the moment I met you until the day I die, I will always love you with my entire heart and soul and if there’s ever one thing I know I got right in this world, it’s you. No matter what the paper says, you’ll always be my girl”

A tear rolls down your cheek and your hand grasps onto his wrist before you begin to sob “Mat-“

“Shh, it’s ok baby. It’s ok, I’ll sign the papers if that’s what you want, I’m not going to fight you anymore. I just needed you to know that regardless of us fighting, shouting and balling at one another, you are my world”

You shook your head at him, sniffling “Why are you being so nice to me?”

He shrugs “I only have a little while longer as a husband I might as well try being a good one”

You watched him pull out of the driveway and down the street, tears falling off your face while you sobbed quietly.

The following days, Mat had a roadie so you had the kids full time. You had officially accepted your role back as doctor for the devils next season so you were getting back into watching hockey.

The kids had requested Mathew’s game against the Kraken be on the tv so they could watch and while it was late you couldn’t say no.

So you sat with them, Ryder on your lap while your fingers carded through his hair while you watched the islanders play.

After the game, the press had announced a big press conference with the islanders. You didn’t think much of it, they’d won so it was probably just the dramatics.

You were tidying the couch pillows when you heard the tv

“Mat, Lou informed us you had an important announcement to make this evening?” A reporter asks.

Mat nods “Yes, thank you. I wanted to make this announcement here, in Seattle where I was playing when I was drafted by the Islanders organisation in 2015. My time on Long Island has been nothing short of amazing and I will always reflect on the relationships I have developed with the community, my team and the organisation. Today, I announce my retirement from the national hockey league as a player as this season draws to a close. My family are of the utmost importance to me right now and I feel this is in our best interest”

You drop the pillow in your hand and gawk at the tv “what the fuck”

“Mommy said a bad word!” Ryder shouts, reminding you that the kids were with you.

“You’d be saying bad words too if you knew what was going on” you replied, picking up your phone to text Mat.

Instead you found a text already on your phone from him

this is for you, for us. the nhl is your dream, not just mine.

You smile at the message and look back at the tv where mat is being hounded by the media on his bombshell announcement.

When Mat finally got finished with media and all that came with his announcement he managed to pick up his phone and wade through the messages from friends, coaches and family to find your name. Only to find you’d left him on read.

When he arrived home, your nanny had dropped the kids off at his airbnb so he didn’t get the chance to speak to you. The nanny, Rita had given him a pile of papers too. He suspected it was bills, school letters you’d asked her to pass along and they were discarded onto the countertop.

The weekend with the kids passed too quickly and before he knew it you were picking them up for your week. Between the kids, the media and the organisation Mat hadn’t gotten a chance to sit down until the middle of the week, sitting at his breakfast bar looking at the divorce papers sat unsigned on the counter.

Next to it was the papers Rita had dropped off, he picked them up and began flicking through. Bills, tuition payments and then a brown envelope addressed to you.

He frowned and opened it, pulling out a white paper, the exact same as the one on his counter yet this had your name on it. These were your divorce papers.

His eyes scanned the paper for your signature, it was nowhere to be found. Part of him felt hopeful, you wouldn’t have sent him this if it didn’t mean anything.

But it had been days since Rita gave him these and you hadn’t said anything, so did it mean what he thought it meant?

Before Mat made himself crazy thinking of the possibilities with this, he got in his car and made his way to your house. Not before a stop on the way.

It was late and he knew the kids would be asleep, so he knocked lightly on the door just praying you were awake.

He waited nervously until he saw the porch light flicker on and you appear at the door in your pyjamas

“Mat? What are you- it’s eleven o’clock”

“I know, but I had to come here because I got your papers” he rushes, watching as a sleepy smile is painted on your face

“I was wondering when you’d open them”

“I, I opened it and I hope it means what I think it means” he replies.

You nod softly “It means, come home Mat, it means let’s talk about this, it means you don’t have to retire just to fix us”

He shakes his head “I retired because, you were right. This is the Mat show, I want it to be the Barzal’s. I want to be able to see you at work, in everything you do and be so proud of you because you’re amazing. I accepted an offer with management so I’m not completely out of a job”

You nod with a laugh “Good, can’t have you being bored”

He then sighs heavily and adds “The day I first asked you out I said could really see this being something real and I just couldn't let you slip away. I’m not letting you slip away from me, now or ever”

At his confession you reach out to place a hand on his chest “I love you, Mathew”

He groans lowly and you laugh “Mat, baby, my angel. I love You”

“That’s better” he smiles. You notice his hand is behind his back and you raise your eyebrow skeptically.

“What you got there?”

He brings his hand out and when you see it you laugh through teary eyes “It’s ivy! There’s no flower shops open this late”

#mat and mama #life of ivy

320 notes · View notes

kariachi · 5 months

Text

Skimming a transcript of What Are Little Girls Made Of and damn, no wonder that girl jumped when Kevin said he wanted her to stick around. Verdona goes 'hey, run away to another planet with me, a relative you've known less than three hours' and when she turns to her parents for help her dad is just 'well I never got the chance to run off to another planet' and her mom- of "polite people don't glow" fame- starts off with "we hoped you'd take after my side of the family" before going down the 'we won't stop you' path.

Because gods know that shit's what a teenager who just had their life turned upside down wants to hear. Not 'you should sleep on it' or 'slow down mom you've been back like an hour' but 'I never got this chance' and 'we hoped you wouldn't be like this' and 'we won't stop you going'.

And of course Verdona just immediately 'that's that settled let's go' with no actual input from Gwen because she's like that. So Gwen runs off because everything is a lot, and the boys follow, and then Ben decides to be supportive. By telling her that yeah they'll miss her if she leaves for possibly forever, but it's okay because they'll easily be able to replace her on the team.

Just, Benjamin.

This is what happens when you're too focused on 'must be supportive' that you fail to read a fucking room. Of course Gwen immediately goes 'then I won't go' when Kevin says he wants her around, because she's got her grandma going 'fuck this shit come with me and you'll actually be happy', and her dad going 'this is opportunity I never got', and her mom's bullshit plus 'we're not gonna do anything to stop you going', and Ben immediately segueing how they can replace her- Poor girl is overwhelmed and uncertain and most definitely feels like all her relatives except the one who didn't give two shits until she showed the Spark are going 'we don't care about having you here or if we ever see you again'.

And then Kevin, who I am reasonably certain is a case of 80% selfishness and 20% being the only person here who can read a room, when asked if he agrees with Ben, says no. Say's he can't believe she'd even consider it. Says he wants her around.

And Gwen immediately takes it, because this girl is looking for fucking permission. Seriously. We've seen enough of the Tennysons to know they're a 'but they're family' family, and Gwen was raised to be very polite, and Verdona's a fucking whirlwind of a personality coming in like a tornado to flip her life and try to take her away, ten to one Gwen honestly at this point feels like all the pressure is on her to say yes. Verdona wants her to come along and while it's not their intention her family's attempts at support easily come off as 'are you still here?' And the things Gwen herself says on the matter, immediately going to how she'd probably be gone a long time, that she might not even come back, and her wondering if she even belongs- When Ben says they'd miss her she actually asks him if they really will. To which his response is functionally 'yes but we can replace you'.

Any doubts and uncertainties she already had, her family is just compounding them, and I think by the time she turns to Kevin she knows she doesn't want to leave. I think she always did, but with everything happening at once... I think she knew she didn't want to go, but was beginning to wonder if anyone would care if she did. She mentions having never felt entirely like she fit in, and with her mom's shit... Having everyone going 'yeah you should go right now we support you without question' just makes her feel like maybe she should go, whether she wants to or not, because clearly here, the people she's closest to are all but packing her things for her.

They don't mean to come off like that, they only want to support her, but they're so focused on supporting what they think she wants that they don't stop to learn what she does want, or even give her the time to figure that out herself.

Then she turns to Kevin. And Kevin's quote- "Why would you even think about it? I want you around."

And immediately 1) any doubts she's been having as regards going are validated in that 'why would you think about it', because she does not know this woman and is being asked to give up everything she does know on no notice for her promises, and 2) even if her grandma only gives a fuck because she's Sparky and her family are damn near shoving her out the door, somebody wants her around. The world won't just go 'whoo, finally got rid of her' if she leaves, at least one person would be sad to see her go.

Somebody agrees that this isn't just a 100% great deal we're so happy for you. Somebody will care if she's gone.

And that's all she needs, is someone to back her up on not going, and to make it known that she's wanted where she is. That the hole she would leave can't just have somebody else slotted into it and everything's fine.

And of course it's the guy from the broken home that gave it to her.

#ben 10 #ben 10 analysis #gwen tennyson #ben also insists they're practically rolling in people to replace her with like boy you have alan #and he's too good for you fuckers #gwen in this episode needs a hug and a nap #ben too but to a much lesser degree #he already hadn't earned as much of it and then he lost some privileges by segueing immediately #from 'we'll miss you' to 'don't worry you're replaceable'#that shit's why i had to make this post #'why does team tennyson need a con artist?' because nobody in this family can read a fucking room

25 notes · View notes

rosekisspeach · 5 months

Text

TAROT READING//Bummie's view on mingkey relationship

Date: 16/Jan/2024 Marker: Selca, Music Deck of Cards: Trungles' Star Spinner Tarot (Inclusive, Diverse, LGBTQ Theme)

Notes Upfront:

I don't ask my cards questions that I already have answers;

I don't prey on information I should not know;

I respect their personal lives and;

This is for FUN ONLY.

ʕ•̫͡• ʔ stream Minho's Stay For A Night!! -ㅂ-

This time, the song I recommend listening to while reading is Bummie's Ain't Gonna Dance

"But let me break it down for ya honey I ain't gon' dance for your loving"

Now...Ready to glimpse into Bummie's view??

Base Card: 10 of Coins Past: King of Cups R Now: 10 of Cups Future: 6 of Swords Past to Now: The Lovers Reverse Now to Future: 8 of Coins Reverse Result Card: 7 of Wands

Please take time looking at the cards before proceeding to read the readings, thanks. . . . . . Readings:

If ming's cards manifest honesty, bummie gives me a very strong sense of rationality. Despite so many cups here (family ties, romantic love, and self-love), bummie is a very goal-orientated individual who doesn't let the floats of emotion impact his career and personal life. He has become a little control freak, hehe. But it is totally understandable. After losing his grandma, jjong and ming (++ refer to the romantic section for elaboration) , bummie is trying to re-gain control through being a workaholic, so to express his heartbroken sadness in work and art. Good news is, he feels very content about his career, financial status, relationships, and where he and ming at. However, one might argue that he is a bit cruel and possibly, selfish - maintaining the status quo because he is one who has more say in their relationship.

Let's look at the past. The reversed king of cups immediately brings that shy bummie back to my mind. He was delicate, sensitive, on-the-edge in the debut times, but full of dreams and determined to make a career out of himself as a multi-talented idol. He didn't hesitant much at the decision of leaving Daegu to Seoul for his dream, even that meant completely new environment, living alone, and not being able to spend more time with his family. Especially his grandmother, the one raised him, and understood him (as I am typing, I still sense the warmness in bummie's heart whenever he thinks of her. He never stops missing her). And that is rationality v.s. emotions from day 1. Kibum has been really hard on himself since the beginning and loneliness, the feeling of out-of-place & isolation had consumed him. But he could handle those...then he met Choi Minho. A bit dramatic? No. Ming made bummie doubting whether the industry (and fans) would welcome someone like him. Worse. He hurt bummie in ways that reminded bummie his wronged times back in Daegu. A less developed city where you see more discrimination and bully against people who want to be themselves instead of being others. That is why bummie got all work up and self-protective when he is around ming. And bummie is as stubborn as ming, he overcomes the side-eyes like breathing fine air.

He didn't know how to overcome ming tho.

It is getting very hard not to analyze it in romantic ways because the lovers dropped, yes, but also because the lovers card is the only major arcana appeared in the result - meaning it is very IMPORTANT. (ming has both the world and the lovers, emphasizing how much he wants to make things right between them, and romantic love could be a good option) However, I will try to give a platonic reading first.

Bummie has been rational dealing with emotions, yet ming is his exception. The frictions, the fights, and the upsets slipped into his heart & left a void that bummie learnt to distance himself from ming and from getting hurt. It doesn't mean bummie doesn't care about ming. He does, deeply. And seeing ming happy makes bummie so happy that he is willing to sacrifice his own desires. Don't forget how sensitive, loving and caring bummie is. He is just too good at choosing rationality instead of his own wants. Taking the left-on-read messages as an example, bummie needed his own space/time to grieve, so he prioritized healing his own heart before ming's enthusiasm to bond. Even if that means hurting ming, means his heart ached at the realization he is hurting ming, and giving away the chance to be closer with ming. Bummie was resolved on the idea of not allowing anything ANYTHING to hurt his precious precious heart.

And looking at the base card, the king of coins, bummie is pretty satisfied with his decision. He enjoys ming being around (in the distance he sets for them), and he wasn't lying when he compares ming to commedes and garçons in the LG Object Collection show. Ming is loyal and bummie knows he can count on that - he loves ming supporting him (both his career and personal life), accompanying him, and comforting him. Ming is not just a good friend, he is family that stays in bummie's softest part. And well, also occasionally way too often gifts bummie. Gifting luxury gifts really isn't ming's love language but serving is, so when ming realized how much bummie loves getting gifts from him he nods yes. This little agreement is very sweet (remember I said ming is always READY to become a good boy for bummie?). In this way, their friendship will grow and profound like evergreen.

Before continuing on, I want to throw a harmless joke here...we have a "clown" in ming's reading, and a "simp" here again. Poor boy. But bummie is just trying to be careful and protective.

!!skip this part if you only see them as platonic friends/co-workers and resume when you see exclamation mark again!!

Oh, come on! Look at the cards here, I bet your reading is more straightforward than mine. A lovers at the reverse signifies difficult communication, one-sided love, and the awareness of impossible love. In this case, I believe all of them are present. Bummie will never say that word if he knows all he gets is rejection. What is even sadder is he never stops loving ming (flowers continue blooming) while he believes so stubbornly that his feeling is unrequited. That he believes one day in the future, ming will fall in love (and get married) like those happy endings in the fairytales. But not with him. When that happens, bummie will stay in the little castle he build himself, enjoy aglass of wine and the cuddles of commedes & garçons, and gives his sincere good wishes. He will continue focus on his works and avoids to even think about the possibility between ming and him because of what he learnt through the years. Bummie is sensitive, and many times a cry baby.

But he doesn't want to cry anymore.

!!resume here!!

Bummie will continue focusing on work>relationship. However, I can see this attitude sets him back sometimes, because the emptiness in his heart withholds him from some deep connections. He dates/interacts with others, of course, but those love are not enough to fill the hole in his heart. In the end, we have the 6 of swords, carrying sorrow and unsatisfied feelings to the future. Bummie is hurt because of their seemingly-ok-but-not-balanced relationship, he is even more hurt because he now realizes that ming is hurt. Payback...almost, but bummie really does not want a sad face on ming. That is why I eagerly pulled up a result card, since 6 of swords can also mean good fruit after growing up from sad lessons. And I am pleased to see the seven of wands here. This card means the difficulties we face to continue to have success. And I believe they will figure things out, in the best way possible to nurture their relationship and career development.

-over-

Feel free to chat or find me on twitter @rosekisspeach

#tarot reading #tarot #shinee #kpop tarot #minho #kibum #choi minho #kim kibum #shinee kibum #key kibum #stay for a night #minkey #mingkey

16 notes · View notes

yellobb · 6 months

Text

Ended up calling 988 last night. Talked with them for half an hour and it kind of helped, but only temporarily.

I’m still kicking, but barely. I know I need to take my medication but I don’t care enough to. It’s just not worth the effort, even though it’s within arms reach.

I missed a meeting with my manager at work. Today is one of the few days I need to be in person and I’m not there because I just…. Can’t make myself move.

I want to call someone and just have them talk to me because I don’t think I can speak. I want someone to force me to take my meds and go sit outside for a moment so that I can get the fresh air and stop rotting in my bed. Maybe that would be enough to force me to get dressed and go to work. Maybe it would heal me, just a little bit.

But I don’t have anyone I can call. My sister is in class. My mom is at work and I know she’d start watching me more closely again. My grandma has already probably noticed that my location hasn’t changed, but it would just be easier to lie to her and say I worked from home today than deal with the lecture. I haven’t actually talked to any of my friends, irl or online, in ages, either. Not in the way friends should, because I’m too self-absorbed to check in with the people I love.

I’m sorry y’all have to keep seeing me post about my bullshit. I know it’s selfish, especially when I haven’t reached out to anyone one-on-one in so long. I haven’t even made anything since inktober ended, so I can’t even offer something vaguely worthwhile.

I know people care, logically. But emotionally it feels like no one does. And I’d deserve it if no one did. I’ve been a leech for years. Even before the depression, I was too busy to be a good friend. I’ve been selfish for years. I think the only time I was worth something was back when I was in early elementary school. At least back then I was happy and energetic and earnest and kind.

I don’t know where that version of Macey went. I wish y’all had gotten to meet her, because she’s the version of me y’all actually deserve. Not this absolute wreck I’ve become.

#m rambles #tw suicidal thoughts #long post #my therapy appointment is next week #I just need to make it that long #but I don’t know if it’s worth it #I have so much to live for #but I don’t feel like I deserve it #I want to live to cuddle with my pets at home #I want to see good omens season 3 #I want to go to the beach with my family and soak up the sun #I want to float in a pool and just feel the water against my skin #I want to see my sister grow up and get married and become the amazing woman I know she’ll be #but I don’t want any of it bad enough #and I know that my family would be devastated if I were to go #but I can’t make myself understand that emotionally #and lately it’s felt like it would be better that they have to go through that pain #than have to continue dealing with me #I don’t know #maybe if I write about Simon or Crowley having these same thoughts I’ll get the response I need #all I’m good for is making shitty fanfic and fanart anyway

11 notes · View notes

aksannyi · 9 months

Text

tw: death of a family member

ok so my mom texted me today, i'm in my 7th period block, students are working, i check my phone and the message is basically that my grandfather is dying. (my last living grandparent, not that it's super relevant but maybe it is? idk?) he's going into hospice, they're gonna make him comfortable. no idea how long.

my immediate thought is, shit, i gotta fly up there, can i afford it, etc. these are the thoughts i had at 1pm when my students were all doing their thing, i was also trying to keep them working and not show them anything was amiss bc it isn't their business unless i share it and also if any one of them gave me even a shred of sympathy i would have lost it and i don't want to do that, i will cry on my own tyvm lol

anyway. i look at flights, reasonable for flight + car. reasonable-ish. and i texted the ...w/e the hell he is bc someone would have to stay with the dog since he works 24h shifts

had an appointment today, did some errands. whatever. then i'm sitting here at home, listening to some music, just sitting there and thinking and thinking and thinking:

i don't want to go.

and it sounds selfish, and it feels selfish, and it feels shitty.

and anyway there's history here. so my first grandparent to go was my mom's mom in 1993. shittiest saturday morning ever. my 2nd grandmother died in 2017, right after hurricane irma, and my dad flew me up to say goodbye. i was at her deathbed with family members, it was hard, also my family was being racist (which is totally irrelevant but it still pisses me off how they got mad at me cussing but it's cool for them to just fucking say the n-word) (assholes)

then last summer, 2022, my dad texted me that my grandfather (his dad, obvs) was dying and he had like 24hrs. not enough time for me to have gotten up there to see him, so dad told me to call and then put me on speaker phone and i said my goodbyes to him that way. i'm crying thinking of it now, hardest fucking phone call i ever made.

and then i got fucking covid so i couldn't even go to the funeral, and my mom. this person. she makes a guilt-trip post on fb because both of my brothers could make it and i couldn't, and she's convinced she will never see all 3 of us together again (and she never ever lets us forget it) because two of us live at literal opposite ends of the country - PNW and florida, and the one who lives up there is in the northeastern part of the country so it's like almost as far away as you can possibly triangulate 3 people in the continental US. and it was like wow mom fuck you, like i wouldn't have come up if i didn't have LITERAL FUCKING COVID, no i was not going to drive 1200 miles or infect an entire fucking airport, i'm not an asshole. and also i just felt like pure crap, tbh. like physically.

anyway.

i'm struggling. i know that he wants to see me. he called me, when i sent the blanket (which some of you might remember, (this post: https://www.tumblr.com/aksannyi/722322909005299712/aksannyi-my-grandma-passed-in-1993-october-to?source=share) and he said how much he misses me and wants to see me because he knew then that his time was running short. it's very hard for me to get up there, and i generally just don't like it up there due to a number of factors (completely unrelated to him, but definitely related to other family members, like my mom and a psychotic aunt and several shitty uncles) and just the damn drama of everything that goes on up there that i moved away from for a damn reason.

and i'm like. i should go. i know objectively i should go. i should go because it's the least i could do for him, the one thing i can actually do that would make him happy. like fuck my mom, fuck my brothers, fuck my aunts/uncles and the entire goddamn stupid small town i'm from, just to see him. but the problem is that i wouldn't just be seeing him, and i don't want to Deal With Them. all of them. collectively.

(and also i don't wanna see him like that... when i went to see grandma, she had been on the decline for years. she wasn't fully coherent, didn't always recognize me. every time i went up there while she was still alive i assumed it'd be the last time i'd see her)

(my dad's dad, on the other hand, knew me right up to the end. he'd be absolutely thrilled to see me. every time. but he was also in his upper 90s and so i also had made peace with the fact that he wasn't gonna be around that much longer)

and like it isn't like i didn't know this was coming, like i'm not stupid, obviously. he's had a lot of health issues, mom would text us about his doctors diagnoses and shit so we knew it was coming. he's 86 now. it was inevitable. and that's like. ok. i have made peace with that. but i'm struggling now with this incredible guilt because i don't want to go.

i can afford it. it'll be tight but i can manage it. i can do a whirlwind weekend trip. i'll be tired as shit for work next week but whatever, wouldn't be the first time. but i just. i don't want to. and that's what's fucking me up, it's that i don't want to and i feel like shit about it. because i know i should. and do i suck all that shit up and just Deal With It dot com...??? i do, don't i. i need to. fuck me, this sucks ass.

well if you read all of this and you have any advice or anything i guess feel free, i just needed to kinda get this out and deal with it. i know either way i'll be fine, but like do i really wanna deal with my mother fucking guilt tripping me for the rest of her life (and probably mine bc she'll fucking haunt me when she goes istg) ugh. ugh ugh ugh ugh uGH. ugh.

ok fine whatever time to look at flights (it is too far to drive unless i take time off work and ngl i will need my sick days, for like actual sick days.)

#death tw #tw death #death #i hope this tagged enough for people to avoid triggers but if it didn't please send me a msg and i'll add whatever tags

2 notes · View notes

btsqualityy · 2 years

Note

Back with a heart wrenching drabble ask! So, Mama Min and her mom talking about everything. They lay everything out on the table. Maybe a teenage Kingsley and Kam could be there for moral support!

"So you invited me here and you're not even going to talk to me?" Your mother asked and you just scoffed from your place sitting across the table from her.

"I didn't fucking invite you here," you snapped, vaguely aware of Kinsley's hand on your arm.

"Easy Mama," she murmured.

"We invited you here, Grandma," Kamryn spoke up from her place next to her grandmother. "Unnie and I just wanted you and Mama to try and work out your differences."

"Your mother doesn't seem too willing to mend our relationship," your mother muttered.

"You didn't seem too willing when you cheated on my father," you shot back.

"You're still holding that against me, all these years later?" She sighed. "Your father and I's relationship was toxic and you know that."

"But that doesn't mean that he deserved to be cheated on."

"Ok, you're right," your mother nodded. "But I deserved to have some love in my life, Y/N. I stayed with your father in order to give you a stable childhood and once I did that, I decided to go after the one thing that I had been missing out on."

"And you had to blow my life up in order to do that?" You questioned. "Do you know how it feels to basically be blamed as the reason for your unhappiness?"

"You aren't but the circumstances that resulted from me getting pregnant with you are."

"And who the fuck told you to get pregnant by a man that you had known for only a few months?" You seethed, jumping in shock when your mother slammed her hand down on the table.

"Now, that is enough," she stated darkly. "I am still your god damn mother, so act like it."

"You act like it," you retorted. "I barely fucking hear from you and you come in here wanting respect that you haven't even earned?"

"I raised you for 18 years."

"No, let's be clear: Daddy raised me," you corrected her. "You left for deployment as often as you could and were gone for literal years at a time. My father is the only reason I turned out to be a somewhat decent person and if it weren't for him, I'd be just like you. Cold, selfish, and hard-hearted."

"And just what have you done to try and warm me up?" She questioned. "You act like you hate me, the few calls and texts that I get up the courage to send go unanswered, and you pretend as though I don't even exist. You didn't even let me meet Kinsley until she was a year old."

"I had an emotionally unavailable parent but my daughters were not going to have an emotionally unavailable grandparent," you shrugged. "That's what you do when you care for your children: you protect them and not just because you're legally required to do so."

"That's it then?" Your mother wondered. "You've just written me off?"

"Mom, I love you," you sighed. "I do but the things you've done and said....it just makes me so fucking angry with you and you sit here like you're justified."

"Just like your father," she chuckled ruefully. "Holding grudges."

"Maybe so," you shrugged.

"Well," Kinsley interjected with a clap of her hands. "This has been productive."

"Not," Kamryn muttered. "Sorry for dragging you here, Grandma."

"You had good intentions sweetie," your mother assured her, reaching over and gently patting her hand. "Some things can't be fixed in a day, though."

"Or ever," you muttered petulantly.

#btsqualityy drabbles #drabble day 2

17 notes · View notes

fatimasamilin · 2 years

Text

Together With A Day

In the world inside the chaos, we don't realize that there's someone who will step in our lives that will make our perspective change but, what if the time was intervening from the both of you.

----

Pearl Asuncion was the only daughter of Rolando Asuncion and Lily Asuncion and they were known as the wealthiest and powerful family in Puerto Princesa City. No wonder that Pearl has a different attitude. She was arrogant and selfish, but in that attitude, she has a certain beauty that will make you fall in love, Pearl has a lot of suitors but she's rejecting them by saying "My happiness is already here and it's money". Her parents always said that gave them a chance, but her pride stopped her.

On the next day, the family Asuncion visited their province, Taytay Palawan, to celebrate her Grandmother's bithday. Upon arriving, Pearl was brought by her grandma to a secret door wherein a mysterious picture hanged on the wall. But her curiosity led her to the bigger picture covering it with a white cloth.

"Can I take off the cloth grandma?" she politely asked

Her grandma gave her a permission to take off the cloth, when she take it off, all of the dust particles was just like her thoughts when she saw the painting, she was in greatly shock when she upon realizing that the painted woman looks like her.

After that, her Grandma told her that learning the family's recipe is a must and it's just make her curious way more. After staying a few days on Taytay Palawan, they all bid goodbye and go back in Puerto.

Few days later, Pearl was walking on a hall in Holy Trinity University when an old woman passes by her. She was quite curious of what the old woman tightly holding on. She was merely outrage upon looking at the familiar book the woman was holding.

"Um, excuse me ma'am?" she called the woman

But the old woman didn't pay attention, so she follows her. Her bare foot follow her to the Arc of Centuries, she had a doubt of entering in because of the rumors, that whoever comes in the facility might have the chance not to graduate. Her mind was full of hesitations but she remembered her grandma, but before she knew what to decide, the old woman pushed her down and she faintly remember the old woman said "Welcome back, Pearlita" and everything went black.

Her head was still aching when she woke up, she was startled upon seeing people from a different outfit, an 18th century based-look. She had also noticed the very familiar place, and it was the Immaculate Reception Cathedral, which she remembered in their history class that the Immaculate Reception Cathedral was reconstructed in 1961.

"Ugh, am i dreaming?" while holding her head.

"Miss Pearlita, are you alright?" a concerned woman, who has the same dress as her, she looked around and pointing herself and seemingly the woman was talking to her.

"Oh, no I'm not Pearlita, my name is Pearl and OMG this dress was irritating" the woman just looked at her confused.

"Miss Pearlita come on lets go, the mass is about to start" said by a woman who's the same as her age.

Pearl was screaming out loud and trying to explain that she was not Pearlita and that she came at 2022. But the people laugh at her, and told her that she was out of her mind. And then familiar old lady came across and brings Pearl to the office.

The lady introduces herself as Madame Lolita. She explains everything that happened to Pearl has a purpose. She told that she was time traveled and stuck in year 1890 to change the destiny of Rodrigo and Pearlita, and that if she fails to do her mission, she might not come back to the present.

Silenced. Nothingness. Numbness. Is the feeling that Pearl experienced, she felt like she was floating in a viod, she wants to cry but she can't. So she run away and almost got hit by a"Calesa". But saved by a man, named Rodrigo. Pearl immediately thank him and continue to run away. Rodrigo was too stunned to her beauty that he was frozen from his position for a minute.

Pearl stopped as she knew that she was far enough to Cathedral, but then she realized that she was lost, she tried asking for directions but she can't understand the language and the text because it was written at "baybayin".

---

Baybayin is a Philippine script. The script is an Abugida belonging to the family of the Brahmic scripts.

---

"Miss Pearlita?" sound like a woman's voice

She was about to burst out, but she remained calm, turned around and saw a woman holding a woven basket full of vegetables.

"I know that it was yo-" the woman stopped talking and she heard the bell rang from the Cathedral.

"Oh no, it's already 5:00 p.m let's go, you're going to be late at your ball" she said while holding my hand.

"Ball?" she asked questionly

"Yes a ball, which you may meet your future husband" the woman said excitedly, but Pearl feels the opposite. They got into the "Calesa" and left.

On their way home, Pearl caught something interesting.

Pearl saw this familiar place in Puerto.

"This place is called Plaza Cuartel" the woman said

"Plaza Cuartel, such tragedy. Plaza Cuartel is the site of Palawan Massacre. The tunnels were where 150 American prisoners of war were kept during World War II. But on December 14, 1944, the Japanese decided to kill them all by burning them alive. Many perished but eleven prisoners were able to survive and escape the mass execution." Pearl said concernly

The woman beside her seems so shocked, and said

"How did you know that?" still in shock

Pearl was shock for herself too, and she remembered that she was back in the past and she just make an excuse and the woman immedietly believe her.

A few minutes later, they arrive at the gate and there was a text that says "Hacienda Asuncion" They entered and saw a lot of Gardiner's greeting them. And they stopped when they arrived Pearl can't believe what she seeing that the collosal house is just like the "Bahay na bato"

---

Bahay na bato is a type of building originating during the Philippines' Spanish Colonial period. It is an updated version of the traditional bahay kubo of the Christianized lowlanders.

---

They got off the "Calesa" and was greeted to a beautiful woman, she's wearing a Maria Clara Gown and she's holding a fan.

"PEARLITA, WHERE DID YOU GO AFTER THE MASS, COME ON LETS GO INSIDE YOU NEED TO CHANGE" she frustratingly said.

When they got inside, she was mesmerized, the preparation for the ball was organized, there was a lot of flowers, cloths, and it looked like it was a fairytale.

"HURRY UP!" said by the woman before

As the time passed, the event started and the guest arrived and chitchatting with each other. Pearl was bored and want to go to her bed and rest.

"You looked beautiful, darling" I looked behind and saw the father's of this body. I just smiled and nodded

In the middle of the guest conversation, the surrounding suddenly became quite when the Alfonso family entered. And suddenly the ladies cheered when Mr. Rodrigo Alfonso entered.

"Wait, he looked familiar, is he famous or something?" Pearl whispered

Rodrigo saw her and proceed towards her

"Hey you're the inelegant lady from the earlier" Rodrigo said while pointing at her.

The ladies from the ball started to whispering, Why Rodrigo is talking to Pearl and what is their connection to each other

Pearl was about to speak but Rodrigo's father, Manuel Alfonso called him.

Hours passed by Pearl felt bored and she decided to walk around and have a fresh air, in the middle of her walking she did not notice that she was already in their garden and notice an empty swing, she went near and sit on the swing.

When she sat down, she started thinking, why is she involved in the situation like this. Since she was deep in thought she did not notice the presence of Rodrigo

Rodrigo sat down with her and tells her what's wrong, then in that moment their conversation begins. And that was also the moment that they know they loved each other.

Hours, days, months passed by, they were now known as a famous couple in the City of Paragua. They thought they were contented and happy, but Aliesha Montefalco cameback.

And the conflict between the couple started, a lot of tears and words are being thrown of the couple, and the things got worse so Pearl decided to broke up with Rodrigo. When Aliesha know that the couple broke up, Aliesha planned to assassinate Pearl.

One day, Rodrigo went to Hacienda Asuncion to settle the conflict between him and Pearl. He asked the gardeners where Pearl was, and they said that she was in the garden. He immediately go there and he saw Pearl sitting on the swing. He approached her.

"Did you remember that this place is the witness of our love story?" Pearl look at him with a teary eye. He kneeled down, and wipe Pearl's tear.

"I'm sorry my flower, if I hurt you, can I make it up to you?" he said beggingly

"The moon is beautiful isn't it?" Pearl chuckle

"Yes it is my flower" Rodrigo then hugged Pearl tightly.

In the middle of their moment, Pearl saw a man with a revolver pointing at them. Pearl immediate switch up her position to Rodrigo and in the minute of their sweet moments. The sound of the gunfire echoes in the Hacienda Asuncion, the red blood stained is now spreading on the clothes of Rodrigo, Rodrigo was in shock and confused, Rodrigo wants to chase the shooter but Pearl stopped her.

"I'm tired, let me rest my love" Pearl said while catching her breath

Then Rodrigo hold her cheeks and say "See you in after life, my Puerto Princesa" and everything went black

Pearl woke up in her dreams, and she looked around and knowing she was in the hospital, her parents hugged her and the doctor said that she can be discharged on the afternoon.

Outside the hospital, Pearl still remembers the memories of her dreams but not the guy face and name. Walking down the aisle she passed to a guy which familiar to her.

"I think I saw that guy before" Pearl said while holding her heart and thinking that they met each other.

2 notes · View notes

nazumichi · 2 years

Note

1. would you study me under a microscope if given the opportunity and 2. would you share your thoughts on marie's parents/childhood and/or how shirou and her could show affection to one another besides them pretending not to see when she is running a scam if i asked extra nicely??

1/ putting you in here 🔬 and also 🧫 and here also 🧪 !!! studying you rn, look at this sick petri dish 🧫🧫

2/ omg hiii soooo i’ve got notes on this, i’ve studied this, i’m extremely knowledgable in the marie-backstoryverse (because i made it up in my brain).

i think she came from a family outside the city as tricky as she is, that’s what makes the most sense to me. picking up habits and their ways, climbing to the top as she does in the city. one for one, out for herself.

i like to think there was another, there was a sibling in her life, a little brother. she takes responsibility for this kid, parallel to how she’s over michiru’s shoulder, correcting and teaching her toughly. who else will, in the case of that sibling? parents too fixated with their own survival, with pursuing their own wealth and riches and power.

parents more caught up in their own survival, she sought a new life for herself and herself only, just reaching adulthood. screw the kid, reluctantly perhaps, the self is priority of course. (enter the can of worms that is, while thinking of her as a burden, her parents might not want her gone. maybe they need her there for their own selfish needs, for her talent, for quite literally, a stepping stone).

then enter anima city, safe haven for beasts all over, place where you can rest your head and take a deep breath for once, according to what she’s seen. she’s smart, she picks up the inherent flaws, picks this place as less of “i can find a new calmer life for ME” and more of “if everyone there was gullible enough to fall for that, then i can thrive off them.”

she does get schooled. that’s important, she gets flung ten feet. she’ll get to some better place eventually, she’s just got to find her footing first, find work (which she does, a sequence of betrayal and boredom from the grand grandma and rabbit town -> flip and the family -> the mayor and shirou). of course there’s the everyday civilians she gives information/technology to, but you could divide her life in the city into those three eras more neatly.

back to the matter at hand, parents, no matter how far away she is from/uncertain of their fates, still cause her some uuuhh strife. it’s not about guilt, it’s not about a moral code, it’s about a nagging and unshakable “what if they come for me one day?” sort of feeling. ok that’s all my word vomit on that, now

3/ hi. hi and hello.

i think it’s pretty safe to say that marie is canonically something of an enjoyer of physical affection or really touch in general. we can see this in how she interacts with michiru (putting her hands on her shoulders, arm around her, holding her up in the manga).

i don’t think it’s an impossible stretch to say she treats shirou in the same way. sure, he could snap her in two like a glowstick, sure, he’s something of a downer a loner etc and etc, but i think the way they’re comfortable with each other is uuuuuuuhhh.

certainly interesting (goes down the rabbit hole that is why does he tolerate her as he does, why does he trust her, why is she so comfortable making jabs at him, talking as if they know each other well enough to point out behaviors of the other as unusual, common, etc etc e)

i like to think she’s very physically affectionate, linking arms, taking hands, putting a head on his shoulder. both out of “i feel comfortable with this man, he knows me so well, he’s the only person who does, we both need this” and also “it’s fun to watch them squirm.”

and he is….. a protector. he’s caring, he’s a little bumbling, but he’s caring before it all. he’s the sole person out here even vaguely worried about her, the only one who willingly seeks her out (oh miss lonely aren’t you so lonely you piece of shit) he would give her the coat from his back and his protection if she asked. which is what i believe anyway.

they’re both a little awkward with it. they’re very awkward with it actually. they’ve got weird and bumbling and awkward feelings that don’t entirely match the “and what if i am sitting in your lap while you talk with the council and your boss about horrible murder?? i have a right to be here” and the “i would kill for you if only you asked” actions.

they hold hands sometimes is what i’m saying, impulsive things. lean against each other. link arms, put heads on chests. pick each other up. lay in a place away from what everyone sees them as, they’ll have to get up and become those people again in a few hours, but now, they can think of simpler things and quite simply. each other.

number one victory roya

#ask #ollie tag #hi. hi. hi. you know. how i am. about. ayyyuuhghhhhhhhhhhgggggghhhhhhashhhhhgrrrrr

5 notes · View notes

raraeavesmoriendi · 2 years

Text

(discussion of family death below)

so today might be the day my mom’s dad passes. he’s been deteriorating pretty fast since he and my grandma moved in with my parents in december, and my mom came up this morning to tell me she and gran are seeing All the Signs (my aunt passed at my grandmother’s five house years ago, so they’re both familiar with how home deaths look).

I don’t have a good relationship with my mom’s dad - none of the women(/whatever I am) in the family do. he’s just always been a bad grandfather and a worse dad, and I’ve been furious with him since he demanded my mom to drive him to work at the ass-crack of dawn literally the morning after her sister passed from a long and painful illness, when he’s self-employed and hadn’t provided solid income for years. he’s just always been a selfish dude who was in it to make a quick buck at the expense of everyone else in his family, and he wasn’t even good at it bc he and my grandma have extremely limited savings that she basically has had to watch like a hawk to make sure he doesn’t blow it on something stupid. she already found out a few weeks ago that he asked the guy watching their house to repair the bed of a truck that doesn’t even run, if you need an example.

so rn I’m upstairs in my childhood bedroom bc my mom told me it was probably going to be either today or tomorrow, and I know I need to suck it up and get in the shower so I can be downstairs/present/keeping them company, but I just feel kind of… stuck? like. this man I’ve been angry at forever is passing or on his way, my mom and grandma are kind of trapped bc they don’t want to be away from here/him when he does even though I’ve gotten the vibe from both of them that they’ll kind of be relieved when he’s reunited with the rest of his batshit family, and I just needed a space to quick let this out bc I genuinely don’t know what I’m doing the rest of the day besides poking around on my laptop downstairs and twiddling my thumbs waiting for an old dude to kick it.

idk, I’m sure this makes me sound like a raging turbo-bitch 5000 and I’ve accepted that, but I can’t help but feel a little bitter at this guy who’s barely been a background figure in my life for decades - who literally lost interest in me as soon as I stopped being a cute chubby infant, but still wants to feel like he’s passing on some bullshit wisdom or whatever to my younger brother - and mad that he isn’t leaving my gran, his only wife of six decades at least, with anything but debt and an old house that she never liked that he let slide into disrepair bc he kept spending their money on useless shit.

I’m glad my family can take care of him at this stage, bc that’s what family is for and we would never dream of leaving my mom’s folks vulnerable or hurting, but I can’t help but still be angry on behalf of the three women I love more than anything whose needs he never once considered before his own, the two left alive now having to bear the brunt of his decades of shit-for-brains decisions.

anyway. family is complicated, if you have a grandpa who is/was actually worth a damn, pour one out for me tonight 🖤 that’s a lucky, lucky thing, and I’m missing my dad’s dad a whole fuck of a lot right now.

#death tw #and then rarae says #family is messy and I’m glad I’m here but I also wish I was back at my place rn

1 note · View note

shesgabrielle · 16 days

Text

The impossibility of Self Awareness

Something interesting and strange I've noticed, ref this video - I wouldn't normally repost someone's content like this, but I'm gonna analyse it since I'm seeing the start of, or an expression of some kind of cultural change which can be summarised as extreme selfishness, lack of self awareness, combined with an entitlement to a one-sided approval and affection.

https://twitter.com/signulll/status/1792241786393334127

it's presented as someone lonely and seeking to date, and that concept is what most are reacting to, but I see something else - because of a young girl's account I saw on tiktok this week which had a similar mood, narrative and conclusion. Every video was her crying, and from what she posted it was clear she didn't value the relationships with female friends, mum and grandma, and prioritised seeking approval from her abusive ex, (among her screenshots was one of her mentioning he choked and hit her, yet the theme of the whole account was she spent months begging to get back together) and her father who seemed immature and was using her as a way to get back at his ex - (example he took his new son with her stepmother, out to somewhere this girl wanted to go on *her* birthday, while making some kinda snide comments aimed at the ex on Instagram about it - just petty stuff which a teenage girl is gonna find it difficult to conceptualise or empathise with, and will just feel like rejection) like putting all your happiness on extremely fallible and volatile other humans, prioritising male presence and approval over the already existing, and not abusive, female connections and support you have.

So adding that observation to this video, I see the same thing again. Reference this video she made several mistakes, the video is essentially her crying and complaining because she went to a comedy meetup event on her own, arrived early, and sat at the front which meant her main interactions were with the comedians and it went slightly better than you'd expect reading that. But once she saw everyone avoided the front row, she should have reseated herself somewhere else, but she stayed there and made herself a target and a faux victim for the whole night instead, and then did it again by uploading the video to discuss it. She was ungrateful for the gift they gave her at the end as it interfered with her plans to sit in a bar and feel sorry for herself some more (she had to go home instead as it was bulky) and I stopped watching at the point as she then started insulting her sweet uber driver. She's 75, still healthy and has some pets she loves. Sounds good to me but this woman immediately jumped to degrading her. My sympathy was completely lost then because how are you judging someone and announcing you don't want to be like them, nobody asked. Your uber driver didn't deserve the bile and neither did anyone else in this story. She just comes across as unpleasant.

So what's new and interesting about all this to me, I have never seen this before where the most obvious thing is being missed. Not only are these woman putting huge weight on fallible humans to be perfect, (while being extremely imperfect and unpleasant themselves) prioritising male approval while either ignoring or insulting the female kindness received, the most obvious thing is being missed. Why do they think anyone would want to spend time with them when all they do is bitterly complain, cry, drain emotional energy while giving and offering nothing back, and finally, disrespect anyone who shows kindness to them? Which seems to be most people? Like how are they the victim, when you take apart their stories *literally nothing went wrong* they just want to be victims and drain the life out of others while never self reflecting or utilising any empathy. I can forgive a teenager for this, but the example video is a grown woman. It's a very confusing and difficult time as a teen, where youe are stuck between two worlds, and lack the life experience and rationale required to properly assess what has happened, and to make wise choices for the future while working through your own emotions, given that. But if you're a grown woman and you are still acting like that, no, you have the ability to self reflect, assess, empathise, learn and grow and you are *choosing* not to. That's where my sympathy stops.

To me, work on yourself, have an enjoyable life, respect and value the connections and kindness you receive, and be someone others enjoy spending time with. Be someone that adds value to other people's lives. This woman wouldn't enjoy her own company so I don't know why she expects anyone else to, and anyone who shows her kindness gets insulted for their time. And primarily they are met with kindness, both online and off while continuing to act like they are a victim. I have endless ears and eyes for others, I love hearing true life stories from anyone, I always find it fascinating and enlightening, but this particular type of vapid 'complaint' where what they are crying about boils down to 1. Not valuing the kindness of, and insulting other women 2. Being unbearable but expecting people to spend time with them regardless 3. Prioritising male attention even when it is unkind or abusive - that kind of person is not worth anyone's time or sympathy.

#Psychology #Awareness #Selfishness #Social Media #Socialising

0 notes