#heu imagine

[heuimagines]

📌 info post!

Welcome 2 our page! This blog is modded by 2 guys who have an abnormally large amount to say about Hannibal. And the Hannibal Extended Universe. And Mads Mikkelsen.

Important warnings:

Aside from canon-typical violence, we will post NSFW and potentially triggering topics, always with warnings on the post b4 the content. That being said there should also be plenty of tamer, SFW posts.

What we post:

Basically any scenario related to anything from Mads or Hugh’s filmographies! Solo character scenarios, reader insert scenarios (like a TON lol), character ship scenarios, etc. Posts could be 1 or 2 sentences or thousands of words, bulleted lists of headcanons or fully fleshed out narrative.

Basically, think of this page as an HEU variety show.

That’s it for now!

Expect mod intros at some point, but since neither of us use tumblr very often who knows when that’ll happen. Thanks sm 4 reading nd have a great rest of ur day ^^ - mod 🫀

#heu #hannibal extended universe #heu fanfiction #imagine #imagines #hannibal imagine #heu imagine #hannibal nbc #nbc hannibal #charlie countryman #polar 2019 #adam 2009 #mads mikkelsen #hugh dancy #madancy #hannibal lecter #will graham #nigel charlie countryman #nigel banyai #duncan vizla #le chiffre #adam raki

[ekinoksin]

some domestic spacedogs <3

#painted this while being slightly high on painkillers post-anesthesia so as you can imagine I don't really remember what was my original vis #overall im satisfied with how much i managed to clean this off afterwards though :) #my art #heu #hannibal extended universe #spacedogs #adam raki #nigel charlie countryman

[archerofunspeakablelove]

SpaceDogs was allegedly started because someone was trying to ship adam TOWERS with nigel and everyone played a game of telephone and got confused. don't get me wrong i love spacedogs but ADAM TOWERS AND NIGEL. GUYS!!! THE POTENTIAL

#filed under things i will never write because i have no idea how to #chaotic ramblings #i imagine adam goes to romania to report on the drug circle/gangs and while there he meets this really charming and clearly #slightly deranged man. and he loves slightly deranged men #and they chat and adam's work comes up and nigel is just giggling in his brain #anyways like one day nigel arrives at wherever adam is staying unannounced with several stab wounds in his gut and adam nurses him back to #health in that apartment and the entire time he refrains from asking questions but he's like. what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck #and like he had been trying to convince himself that nigel's periods of absence coinciding with certain activity in the underground was jus #coinciding but this was. a bit hard to ignore #if anyone would be interested in reading something like this please do tell me #heu #hannibal extended universe #adam towers #basic instinct 2 #nigel charlie countryman #charlie countryman #hugh dancy #mads mikkelsen

[abominable-space-they]

If AO3 is down for to much longer, I am going to be devolving into the most unhinged Hannibal/HEU crossovers

Hannigram x Spike sure

Hannigram x Constantine, fascinating implications

Hannigram & Deadpool, pls he ships them so hard with us. He loves hanging out with them he thinks their murder puns are soo funny

But then...

Venom & Hannibal would get along so well, Eddie & Will just pretending to endure these dramatic people eating queens they love, I'm not saying pwp... But also... I'm not not saying it

Le Chiffre posing as & Kidnapping Hannibal, & Will going 90's action movie, country boy with a Bowie knife medieval on some enclave of super spies during a thunderstorm (probably), to get his man back, bc no one gets to torture Hannibal Lecter except will Graham.

An expansion of my Hannibal x Lestat frenemies with benefits fic

Hannigram in peaky blinders verse

Cillian Murphy & Hugh Dancy locked in period homoerotic violence... Ijs

Mulder & Scully, & Hannigram hunting a string of strange murders, probably serial killers, that end up being The Winchesters...but set in the Grimmverse... Mostly bc I wish bad things upon Nick, acab

Hannigram in a cornucopia of Neil Gaiman worlds but in specific Hannigram making Desire punch drunk and also grumpy, being friends with death(obv), and Hannigram going on very civilized lunch dates with Crowley & Azriphale

We all need Ao3 to come back before shit starts getting real weird over here... So much weirder...

#ao3 #ao3 down #hannibal #hannigram #fanfic #will graham #hannibal lecter #hannibal x will #hannibal fandom #murder husbands #crossover #mash up #deadpool #Constantine #venom movie #spike #peaky blinder imagine #casino royale #heu #hannibal extended universe #le chiffre #iwtv #iwtv lestat #good omens #the sandman

[gemini-sensei]

Imagine single dad!Hawk often brings his son to the dojo when he can't find a babysitter. Daycare is out of the question because why would he pay for that for a few hours of classes? The dojo is pretty much a daycare already, so why not bring his kid there? It works out sometimes and other times it doesn't.

Little Mason toddles around and squeals, distracting Hawk and his students. Sometimes Daniel is there to watch him and that's alright. Mr. L doesn't mind. In fact, he loves Mason and stays at the dojo on days he isn't supposed to be just to watch him for Hawk. He practically views the toddler as one of his own grandkids.

Then a new sensei joins the dojo to take over classes of older students. Reader is such a great addition to the dojo and she loves working with the middle and high school aged kids. She also enjoys working with Hawk, helping him when his lesson planning or even joining him when he needs a sparring partner to demonstrate certain moves.

She doesn't mind Mason hanging around. In fact, she loves the little guy and misses him when he's not there.

Fast forward a couple of months and Hawk has brought Reader home. They have been shamelessly flirting with each other at the dojo, throwing looks around here and there, and making it obvious that they may have feelings for each other. Their students can see it but when asked what's going on, both senseis avoid the question.

However, there's no avoiding it when Reader wakes up naked in Hawk's bed. Cuddled up to his chest, she smiles about the night before as it comes back to her mind. How he had to cover her mouth with his hand to keep her quiet while he fucked her. How hot it was. How amazing she felt.

She slips out of bed to go to the bathroom, but when she's finished and ready to go back to bed, she hears an odd noise from the other room. Wearing Hawk's sweats and his shirt, she follows the noise to investigate. She ends up in the kitchen.

She finds Mason standing on a step stool trying to cut a banana with a fork. The only issue being that the banana still has its peel on. However, she feels so relieved that he didn't have a knife. That didn't mean the situation was okay, though, as the toddler was quickly becoming frustrated by his lack of progress.

"Heu, buddy," she says walking up to him. "Want some help?"

He looks up at her with a fat pout on his lip. He holds up the fork. "Don't work."

"Well, we have to peel the banana first," she tells him gently, taking the fuirt. "I'll get you started." So she breaks the peel and does one side of it, then holds it out to Mason for him to take the rest of the peel off.

He does and once the fruit is naked, he smiles and claps his hand. Reader returns the banana to the cutting board the young boy had pulled out.

"Now, how do you wanna cut your banana?" she asks.

He makes a circle with his fingers, holding his hands up for her to see. Between his palms, she sees his sweet little face.

"Cirles?" He nods and she smiles. "Alright, we can do that."

He takes up his fork again and she guides his hand in cutting the circles. He giggles and bounces as she does it, basically doing it for him bit making him think he's doing it. He's helping.

"Now we need a plate, don't we?" She asks, putting her hands on her hips in a funny way, almost like a TV character would. He nods and she puts her hand on a cabinet. "Are they in here?"

He shrugs and she opens the cabinet, which when she sees there are no plates there, she lets out an exaggerated "nope, not here!" She does this for each cabinet until they finds the plates and she grabs for for him. He laughs and squeals the while time, his pout all gone.

Once the banana slices are plated up, she helps him take it from the counter to the living room. He almost runs and she has to take long strides just to keep up. He clinbs onto the couch, lays his plate on his lap, and grabs the TV remote. She sits with him and watches watcher kids show is on at that early morning hour.

Hawk wakes up to an empty bed and thinks Reader has left. He's a little sad, hoping she would have stayed. The memories of the night before populate his mind, all her smiles and moans, the feeling of every curve and the way her soft, chubby body felt against his. How she said his name and how it made his heart skip. God, he thought it was a great night.

But he thinks she's left.

He doesn't notice her clothes on the floor as he walks to the bathroom, rubbing his eyes of sleep. Only after he comes back put does he hear some sing-songy tune playing from the other room and laughter.

He walks into the living room to find Reader with Mason, laughing and singing along to whatever show they were watching together. He has banana smushed all over his face and fingers and she's desperately trying to keep him from touching the couch, holding a napkin and his hand as uses his other hand to eat another piece of banana. They're having a great time.

And the sight makes Hawk's heart swell. It sings. It almost explodes.

This sight us the best thing he's ever seen.

Just when he thought he couldn't fall for Reader any more than he already has, she manages to make him fall more and that much harder... he wants to marry her right then and there.

She looks up with a smile and waves just before Mason gets a little angry at the TV and throws a banana at it. She bites her lip to keep from laughing. His finished eating and she takes the plate away, hoping to clean him up entirely now. Hawk comes over and helps.

"Good morning," he says.

She smiles at him. "Morning."

#single dad!hawk #dad!eli #dad!hawk #sensei!reader #hawk moskowitz x reader #hawk moskowitz x chubby reader #hawk moskowitz headcanons #hawk moskowitz smut #hawk moskowitz #eli moskowitz x chubby reader #eli moskowitz x reader #eli moskowitz headcanons #eli moskowitz smut #eli moskowitz #eli hawk moskowitz #cobra kai #cobra kai headcanons #cobra kai x reader #cobra kai x chubby reader #cobra kai x plus size reader #chubby reader #plus size reader #gemini sensei

[mychlapci]

TFP Ratchet in an abandoned mine giving birth. Squatting on the ground and screaming. Trying to push his sparkling out. Lubricant and birthing fluid forming a puddle underneath him.

heu hua… hrrgh. Ratchet didn’t want to bother the rest of team prime by putting all this pregnancy stuff on their shoulders, he already feels like an extra weight all the time, and part of him really hoped he was going to reabsorb the newspark before it could grow this much, making this merely a passing problem… mhmmm I can imagine he could have started giving birth on a mission, or that he’d bridged himself to a scouted mine because he didn’t want anyone to hear him. I like the latter, I think he’d rather stubbornly hide away and do it himself, because he’s a medic, he knows what he’s doing. 

hrghh Something about squatting during birth just has me on the floor… Ratchet’s barely holding onto the wall of the cave, his knees as far apart as he can get them, hips and lower back aching. His belly doesn’t really show, not with his armour clasped over his abdomen, so the sparkling is not very big, but it sure as hell feels like it is. He’s screaming with every push, thighs quivering, the duct of his forge opens with a hot splash of energon pouring out of his valve and he just bucks his hips and presses both his arms against the rocky wall, whole body shaking… 

Part of me really wants someone to find him– a group of vehicons on patrol, perhaps, Megatron having a walk, fuck man, I want Ratchet to realize that he’s not alone and just whimpering into his hand, mouth trembling as he tries so hard to keep quiet… The sparkling is crowning, it’s almost over, he just needs to push a few more times… Maybe someone finds him with a sparkling hanging from between his legs… Maybe they miss him completely and the relief he feels upon realizing they’re gone has him shuddering as the sparkling slips out of him.

I wonder what he’d do with it… Ratchet doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who’d just leave it to die. Maybe he takes it back and hides it in his room? It’s innocent, never did anything wrong, after all...

#guilt is sexy #valveplug #birth #birth mention #texty

[lemurious]

I love, love learning languages. The initial euphoria of being able first to read words, then to understand them, even if it’s something completely mundane - oh look, here’s an exit in the subway car, and the instructions tell you to boil the pasta for 10 minutes! And then, after some months of stringing words together into sentences, with much cursing at the dictionary, you attempt to read (yet another) poem...and after keeping the words carefully leashed in your mind to trace the meaning through them, something clicks! You realize that the poem is beautiful in the language you have been learning, not just in its content, not just in the language of the translation. In fact, you are beginning to catch the feeling that the translation could only approximate, but the feeling is here, in the poem, in front of your eyes. You feel that you have broken through, at last, a new language has opened up for you like a doorway (into a labyrinth, not an amusement park, but oh! the treasures that lie ahead).  

---

So I just got there with my Latin (Catullus - Ave atque vale) that I have been teaching myself since August, and I feel that I should at the very least be hearing trumpets and seeing fireworks, celebrating that I have made it, that a new language has just opened up for me and there is so much, so much more to learn and to discover. Dizzyingly, it’s also a poem that has been around for 2000 years, and, I like to imagine, hitting Latin learners with the grief and beauty in it for just as long. This connection to centuries of learners has been one of the reasons for me to learn classical Latin, in addition to its pleasant orderliness, the sheer joy of learning languages in general and an interest in the history of Rome.

---

Multas per gentes et multa per aequora vectus

advenio has miseras, frater, ad inferias,

ut te postremo donarem munere mortis

et mutam nequiquam alloquerer cinerem

quandoquidem fortuna mihi tete abstulit ipsum

heu miser indigne frater adempte mihi

nunc tamen interea haec, prisco quae more parentum

tradita sunt tristi munere ad inferias,

accipe fraterno multum manantia fletu.

Atque in perpetuum, frater, ave atque vale.

#personal lemur #latin #language nerd #ave atque vale #catullus

[riguelito]

imagine just how fucking powerful hannigram is for fans to build and establish the HEU. like holy shit. multiple ships had come and go in my whole fandom history, but i cannot imagine simply just shipping two characters from wholeass unrelated movies or shows played by the same actors. but fuck. spacedogs??? enchantedbeasts??? GOD DAMN. to think these characters never have and never will even encounter each other?? what the FUCK

#hannigram #heu

[cutiedwaekki]

Mukbang livestream ideas lives in my brain rent free. Just imagine Chan starting out only doing shows once a week but as tips and donations pour in, he goes from once a week, to twice a week, to daily livestreams. Then there’s the rest of skz, all of them Chan’s loyal fans that keep upping their donations in the hopes of getting him to eat even more.

At first, he’s oblivious to the weight gain. But then, one day he pops his pants button during a live. He wants to stop it there, but he’s realized the meal was paid for by one of his followers, plus he’s still hungry. He powers through the meal. He notices an uptick in donations at the moment he burst his pants open, so he decides to keep wearing small clothes and will just rip off his shirt if it gets in the way.

yes.

Nothing more to say THIS IS PERFECT

Anyways thank you for your request i hope you'll enjoy it like i did enjoy writing it ^-^

CHANNIE'S ROOM

- "Is it on ? Okay!" Said the brunet before turning his gaze towards his camera to get a return of the screen. He was currently recording his first live show and despite the good lighting and soundproofing, it was clear that he didn't know his way around.

To give you a quick summary, Chan had finished his studies and had a small studio in town, he was making his debut in the music world and was helping to compose songs for different artists. He had not yet composed for anyone famous, but he believed in his dreams and was not afraid to try. He was still a beginner, freshly graduated, it would take time for him to make a name for himself in composition. The problem was that he was having a hard time getting recruited and the part-time jobs weren't helping him pay the rent, and he didn't want to depend on the help of his friends who had obviously supported him from the start.

So came the thought of doing live streaming, after all he was often told that he was attractive and someone you liked to listen to so why not do that but get paid for it.

But back to the point. The brunette sighed for a long time as he waited for at least one or two viewers to show up on his live, but it seemed that today was a good day as in less than ten minutes at least thirty-five people were watching his live, which was a small number but for the Australian it was a lot.After a few minutes of silence he finally decided to speak and start his live show

- "Well ... heu .... hello everyone ! It's your boy Christopher ! You don't know me for sure and this is my very first live show here so I hope I'll be treated well and that you'll appreciate me!" He started shyly before reading the comments that defiled, all were filled with love and encouragement making him more confident to start talking

.He spoke again and again, he talked about himself, his dream of becoming a producer, he even promoted 3racha, an underground band he had formed with two of his best friends: Changbin and Jisung who were watching the love too and encouraged him throughout the live show with "CHEER UP HYUNG" "DON'T FORGET YOU'RE A NICE GUY WHO JUST HAVE A LOT OF MONEY !!!" "IF THEY DON'T LOVE YOU SHOW YOUR ABS"

He chuckled at their comment and did not hesitate to chat for long minutes with the tchat.

-"By the way, if you have any ideas of what I could do in my lives, tell me, I guess it must be weird that I'm just talking and do nothing more" he added, turning his eyes back to the comments to read the various proposals. "Mukbang? You want me to make mukbang?" He questioned after seeing this idea several times in the chat.

He had nothing against the mukbang, it's just that with his meager salary he could not afford to buy rich or pretty food aesthetically and that he quickly understood "apart from industrial ramyeon I do not think I can make real mukbang , like ... these live served me a little to that too , i ain't someone really wealthy" he confided nervously before scratching the neck. This gesture made the heart of some people capsize and they hurried to flood the comment section with their hearts.

Then suddenly *ding* was heard showing on the screen that someone had just made him a donation.

"@P1RATE-K1NG sent you $20: with this you can buy some food for your next live ;)"

The brunet hallucinated a few seconds before thanking politely his donor and promising a mukbang for his next live.

- "Wow it's been 2 hours already? Time goes by so fast! It's getting late guys I'll leave you but we'll meet again ... let's say next week? Thanks a lot I had a lot of fun today! For your all guys big hug!" He concluded before standing up and hugging the camera for a few seconds before sitting back down and greeting the viewers with a peace sign and a wink before turning off the live show.

Wow for a first live he had done well! He had already gained almost a hundred subscribers and received his first donation, it was definitely a sign for him to continue, but how far?

------♡------

Here is about 3 months that Chan had started his lives , as promised he made every week a live at the same time and discussed with his community that grew day by day , during his live there was only good vibes , people this confided and Chan gave them advice as much as he could acting as a virtual friend for all these people

Of course he was entitled to donations but it never went beyond 50$ and it was mostly to buy food. He thought he was only doing mukbang from time to time, but he ended up by only doing it for several reasons:

-he had more visibility and visibility so he often had more chance to receive donations

-It was his favorite way to live because he felt really comfortable and didn't have the need to act like he was wearing a mask and could show himself without a filter as he wanted to

-but it was also the favorite type of live shows of his viewers who always asked for more live shows from him.

In order to support his artistic projects, he opened a utip at the suggestion of one of his viewers and often received some tips and in exchange the viewers had the right to exclusivity like demos or explicit versions of songs like "Drive" that he had co-written and performed with his boyfriend Minho, even though neither of them assumed the meaning of the lyrics, creating an embarrassing moment for them and a funny one for the internet users.

So after the first month, Chan finally gave a name to his live shows that he named the Chans Room because he was doing his live streaming in his room and his name was Chan!

His rhythm of live although regular was less and less often and sometimes it had fmd him emanate a week or to make a live a day after, the reason was that he had not enough income and that the little money he received was used for food.

Then came one particular live show, he was quietly eating chickens wings before complaining towards the end of the show that he felt so full that he had trouble getting up, yet he didn't hesitate to get up and do the famous big hug that he used to do at the farewell to his viewers, except that the framing made that those who watched the live show could see the little bulging belly of the Australian that was hanging out of his crop top.Since then he received more and more donations reaching astronomical sums up to 300$ !

Not to mention his viewer count had doubled in the last few weeks leaving no choice but to make his live shows frequent up to three times a week.More live shows meant more mukbang and surprisingly more donations.

But how much more could it be?

------♡♡------

-"Ugh come on!" Complained the brunet turned recently blond who was squirming all over his room , why? Well the poor Australian was trying takt well as he could to put on a pair of pants that had become much too small for him.

And yes this stuffing of fast-food and other food during weeks had consequences on his silhouette formerly muscular. Now instead of abs as smooth as chocolate bars, a double belly had appeared creating a muffin top with every pair of tight jeans he put on or normally just heavy love handles. His thighs and his ass had also had the right to their share of fat since he could not take a step without his thighs rubbing and shaking against each other, and for his ass ... Let's just say that Minho couldn't take his eyes off it and spent his day slapping it or grabbing it.

But how to talk about weight gain without talking about his face too, surely the cutest part, now he couldn't talk without looking adorable with his full cheeks that had managed to surpass Jisung's, not to mention the slight double chin that was starting to become permanent.

At a glance, one could think that he had certainly gained between 20 and 25 kilos and it was quite justified considering the number of calories he ate every day, without counting the wonderful meals of his lover who seemed to cook more and more for them, he could even see that he too had gained some weight, just by looking at the way his thick thighs were getting looser while his spongy belly was shaking with each step he took.However in spite of that, the autralian was totally unconscious of all this weight, he meant for him if these pants did not go up higher than his thighs it is because of Minho who makes badly the laundry but never he was going to say to him in face it would be to sign his death warrant.But in short after a few minutes Chan gave up and put on his best black jogging suit with the only oversized sweater he had left which now was not so oversized as that ...

Minnie ❤️ :

I'm going to Felix's do you want me to bring you something?

Channie ❤️:

Yes I would you know how much I love his brownies!

Plus it'll be extra food to eat during my live show.

Minnie ❤️:

You are so invested in your live shows I'm so proud to see this!

Eat well big boy ~

I'll bring you the brownies in 15 minutes

------♡♡♡------

So as usual, he adjusted the lights, put on his microphone, deposited the food before sitting heavily on his chair, these days he became very easily out of breath for the slightest movement but moving on! He turned on the camera and the live show could finally begin!

-"Hi guys ! It's your boy Christopher ! Welcome to this new edition of Chan's Room !" He introduced before cheering the chat that was animated from the first minutes of the live. "So today I'm going to eat various things, as you want it's a lot but I promise you to eat everything without leaving any crumbs! He assured by raising his right hand as a sign of promise.

-"So here we got some ramyeon, some tteokbokki, some bulgogi, and a bowl of japchae and the mythical chicken wings! And for dessert I have my dear friend Felix who made some great brownies that I can't wait to eat! Let's start, I'm hungry" he said before taking his steel chopsticks and starting with the bowl of ramyeon that he ate as if it had been months since he had swallowed something (which was not true, he had eaten a lot of doughnuts all morning)

It wasn't long before Chan was already finishing up with the ramyeon and discussing the fact that he had finally found a company that wanted him as a producer !

While discussing he tried to readjust his jeans which were so tight that he had the impresison it could popped at any moment, it was already a miracle that he managed to put it on and button it but his belly was stinging so hard against it and it was very obvious during his live show as donations were pouring in and people were complimenting him on his soft and plump body while remaining respectful of course.

- "And so after that my friend Changbin said-" he couldn't finish his sentence because a big *PING* was heard, the reason for the noise was the jeans of the Australian who decided to give in after he had eaten his bowls of ramyeon, a bit of japchae and exactly 4 chicken wings.

There was a long silence without Chan being able to say anything, he was just shocked, how could he have let himself go so much to become so fat to popped one of his jeans in live.

Yet deep down he liked it and then he had not finished his entire meal so he might as well continue he had solemnly promised to eat everything and he had never broken his promise!

So he continue as if nothing was wrong and continued to eat while one of his plump hands reached his belly that he kneaded leaving a nice view to the viewer on the extent of Chan's weight gain and once again the chat went crazy and the donations became even more frequent reaching higher and higher amounts

But Chan was not paying attention, no he was just feeding himself, not leaving a single crumb or sauce. Although the brownies were a little harder to eat, he finally ate everything on the table and proudly patted his bloated belly as hard as a rock.

-Woah ... that was a thing! I guess at this rate I'm going to turn into a little piggy" he said with a teasing smile as he looked at the camera, he knew how to turn a situation to his advantage and seeing the reactions and the comments about how plump he had become in a short time made him realize that this was what some had been looking for from the beginning, to make him so fat that he'll get too big for his pants.

But he didn't blame them, he was also responsible for being fed nonstop these last weeks, not to mention his friends who had been encouraging him to eat more, adding that it was nothing and that a little more wouldn't hurt him. (Plus Minho who sometimes use him as a food tester before starting to test it himself and get plump as his lover)

And they were right, now he had become in love with his body, how his curves made him both adorable and sexy at the same time.

At least with this body he had found a way to earn money more easily although most of it went to his food because he always wanted more and more that he didn't know how to stop.In the end it was not surprising that in his next live he wore tight clothes always looking for outgrew it, and when it happened he was not even surprised that it was the time when he had the most donation.

Because in the end Chan's Room was a cozy place, a safe place where everyone was free to express themselves, but if it is to say how adorable and plump Chan was then no need to say it, it was a collective opinion that he himself agree with.

------♡♡♡♡♡------

#my fic #my fics #weight gain #skz

[leseffrontesfr]

— Et voiciiiii… Mon fameux cappuccino de petits pois, ciboulette et noisettes torréfiées avec des graines de chia. Un délice ! Tout le monde adore, c’est plein d’énergie. — Tu n’as rien de plus… heu… pétillant ? — Du fermenté ? Si, j’ai du kombucha maison à la menthe. — C’est pas pire. — J’ai préparé des croquettes de butternut à la quinoa avec du houmous de betterave, et en dessert… Ta-dam ! Mon irrésistible carrot-cake à la cannelle et au sirop de violette ! Ça te plaît ? — Ça tombe plutôt bien, je comptais manger léger ce soir. — Parfait ! Je sentais déjà des ondes positives dans ton profil Tinder. Moi, je vis tout simplement. Surtout la nourriture : je ne mange que des choses saines. Mais pas de gluten, je suis allergique. — Comme on dit : ça ne mange pas de pain. — Et pas de produits carnés bien sûr. Quelle horreur ! — Ben oui, quelle horreur, « pas de produits carnés »… Même pas des œufs ? — Surtout pas ! Les pauvres poules ! Imagine devoir pondre un œuf — un gros œuf d’homme — tous les jours. — J’imagine. Faut pas abuser du riz… — Oui, d’ailleurs les céréales je limite de plus en plus. Je voudrais passer au régime cétogène. Pareil pour les légumineuses et les fruits sucrés, je réduis. Enfin, le sucre et le chocolat, je n’y arrive pas encore, hi hi hi ! Tu aimes l’avocat ? — Quand j’ai besoin de lui et qu’il n’est pas trop cher. — C’est vrai que tout est hors de prix au Biocoop casher… — Casher ? — Oui, je suis en plein renouveau spirituel. Le bouddhisme ne me faisait plus rien, et là c’est comme une renaissance ! Je me sens de plus en plus légère. Comme illuminée de l’intérieur. — Tu as la dalle ? — Très. Le ramadan a vraiment été long, je n’ai pas encore récupéré. D’ailleurs il me reste des bières. — Des bières ? Du ramadan ? Je ne pige pas. — Elles sont sans alcool, rassure-toi. — Zut. — Tu as faim ? — Plus du tout. Pomone, je vais être franc avec toi… — Oh non ! Ça va trop vite ! Nous n’avons même pas fait l’amour et je ne t’ai pas présenté à mes copines. C’est trop tôt pour une proposition. — Il ne s’agit pas de ça. — Alors tu peux tout me dire ! Tu es bi ? Circoncis ? Tu aimes des trucs spéciaux ? — J’aime bouffer et boire normalement, sans m’emmerder avec des régimes à la con. Une relation avec une fille qui mange végane-cétogène-casher-hallal me déprime comme la mort et donc, pour ne faire souffrir davantage ni toi ni moi, notre rendez-vous se termine là. Merci pour l’accueil plein de bonnes intentions. Rend-moi mon pantalon. https://leseffrontes.fr/index.php/2022/10/31/leffrontee-du-mois-doctobre-2022-pomone/

#caesar boetius van everdingen #bacchus #nymphes #effrontée #Pomone #ennuyeuse #rendez-vous #dîner

[heuimagines]

Autism4Autism relationship w Adam Raki ...

He's really good at helping u during meltdowns as long as he's not also melting down, he doesn't have to imagine and hypothesize what ur feeling bc it's smth he also experiences!!

he asks simple yes/no questions-can you speak, is touch ok, do you want time alone, etc. you get to borrow his communication cards if u don't have ur own/have urs on u.

he'd pull up information about your hyperfixes and spinterests to read to you while u calm down. “Oh, did you know that — ? I’m sure you already did, but that’s really cool.”

lil bonus but I can't stop imagining going 🫵 🫶at him while nonverbal …

—🫀

#did I make this 2 self soothe during a meltdown? #ahaha. haha. #maybe. #hugh dancy #adam 2009 #adam raki #hannibal extended universe #heu imagine #heu #Posted this on my personal blog the first time OOPS

[musclem3m0ry]

When French people say "ooh la la " it does NOT sound like Americans would imagine. Their oo la la sounds much closer to "heu leu leu". thank you for attending my short lecture

[academiedelachanson]

Imagination à sec ? Les 8 astuces qui vont vous sauver !

Vous êtes assis là, guitare à la main, vous êtes prêt !Seulement voilà heu… comment dire ? Rien ne se passe. L’inspiration vous boude !Pas de panique ! Même quand vous êtes à sec, il existe quelques astuces pour trouver malgré tout ces perles rares qui deviendront vos prochains tubes ! 1. Travaillez en dormant ! Ce n’est pas une blague ! Vous ne vous en êtes pas aperçu parce que vous dormiez à…

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[biarritzzz]

Où j’apprends, en parlant avec une amie (qui lit désormais Valeurs Actuelles) que Révolution Permanente, le groupuscule trotskiste au sein duquel opère notre lesbienne cinglée en chef Adèle Haenel - après avoir fait exploser sa carrière pour alimenter ses passions tristes et faire sa crise d’adolescence bourgeoise - Révolution Permanente donc a fait une manif le week-end dernier où la section féministe du groupuscule (qui s’était lui-même séparé d’un autre parti à l’audience minuscule, les trotskistes ne supportant vraiment personne, à commencer par les autres trotskistes) a proclamé son allégeance au Hamas, heu… pardon à la Palestine en agitant des drapeaux palestiniens et en refusant de parler des victimes de viol israéliennes, leur préférant les ‘colonisés’ qui ont donc tous les droits, y compris ceux de violer et de tuer.

Tout ça lors de la journée internationale contre les violences faites aux femmes.

Masterclass.

Je n’arriverai jamais à comprendre le degré de faillite morale et intellectuelle de ce genre de putes.

Heureusement que je ne me considère plus comme féministe.

Ne réalisent-elles pas qu’elles seront les premières égorgées quand les musulmans arriveront pouvoir? J’ai du mal à imaginer qu’elles mouillent sur Mouloud et sa clique de wesh wesh en survêt’ et casquette Gucci.

#ce type de profil psychologique serait presque fascinant à étudier si nous n’étions pas au bord de la guerre civile #et si la situation n’était pas aussi grave

[necrowsigi]

Photo analysis ver 2.0

This eye candy of an image was taken by Mike Mezeul II at Volcanoes National Park on the Big Island of Hawaii one night in September. This photograph captures the beauty of the galaxy, the moon and flowing steaming hot lava all in a single shot. 

To capture such a scenery it is clear that Mike has an eye for the perfect scenery. His sense of sight being developed to be able to recognize beauty was created from his profession of being an adventuring photographer. Using a Nikon D810 and Nikkor 14-24mm lens at ISO 2500, f/2.8, and 25 seconds according to petapixel.com we see the true beauty that photography has. The warm colors of the lava and the pink heu beneath the clouds in contrast to the royal blue of the night and the purple of the sky dotted with thousands of glimmering white stars, the silver shining of the full moon. We are transported to another world as if this image was taken in another world or even digitally created.

 “some of the most extreme landscape I’ve ever been in” was what the young adventurer said after having travelled to Kilauea Volcano as the lava crawled down to the ocean. The positioning of the moon near the starry skies above the glowing magnificent yet magical lava shows us how important it is for à photographer to know when to take the picture in the right moment. In our imagination we tend to always think of lava as just pure orange with some black chunks in it but here in this image we are presented with a symphony of ruby red, orange, and black. The seamless transition between cobalt blue to violet until royal blue then finishing with a beautiful almost neon like pink give us an eye catcher that can easily be loved by everyone.

In this day and age all we see in the media is death suffering and pain when in reality we need to search for the beauty of the world the reason we live. Humanity has plagued this world in destruction but only in nature can we see the real lure of the world and experience true beauty upon peace. Not all destructive phenomenon are ugly we must search and find the truth of attraction within all things of the world

[biscuitsandhorrorslash]

one thing I don't get is how all the HEU hoes can lust after a character named Nigel unironically. like imagine moaning the name 'Nigel' in bed how could you even. imagine anyone moaning the name 'Nigel' in bed and look me in the eyes and tell me it's not even a little bit funny I dare you

#heu #hannibal extended universe #nigel charlie countryman #mads mikkelsen #FOR THE RECORD I'm being facetious ily all #I'm just coping with the fact I had a dream I wrote fanfiction about him