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moremaybank · 8 months

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THIS LOVE (III) — j.m

pairing actor!jj maybank x actress!reader

chapter summary you and jj try to navigate through the aftermath of jj's love profession to the media, alongside your managers and publicists. they come up with a plan, but you're not totally (or even slightly) on board with their idea.

warnings domestic violence/abuse (fuck luke maybank forever), language, jj doubting himself thanks to luke, i think that's it

recommended listening a bad dream by keane, heavy by kiana ledé

this love — the complete playlist ;; the masterlist ;; the tag list

❝ CHAPTER THREE ❞

This just in! Hollywood’s princess, Y/N Y/L/N, was spotted with superstar JJ Maybank outside of Harding Studios in Los Angeles yesterday evening. Y/L/N revealed that the two of them are costars for the studio’s upcoming romantic comedy, Love’s Second Act. However, when we approached the two hottest actors in the biz, there were sparks of what appeared to be real-life chemistry. Y/L/N claimed the two are just coworkers (her words, definitely not ours) with some clear disdain, while Maybank decided to make a statement. “I’ve known Y/N Y/L/N since I was seven years old. She was my best friend, and my favourite person in the world, and I really hurt her. But I’m going to win her back. Make sure that’s on the front page of whatever tabloid you work for. I want her — and the world — to know.” Seems like things could be heating up between these reconnecting stars. So stay tuned, readers. Details to come!

Y/N

You doubt that there’s anyone in this world more selfish than JJ Maybank. Trying to pull you back into his web is one thing, but going to the tabloids and airing out your personal business to the world is going way overboard.

Now, you’re stuck heading to a meeting with him alongside both of your managers and publicists as you try to navigate the massive influx of attention on you both. Your manager, and best friend, Madelyn is up to the task. She lives for this kind of spotlight, claiming it’ll do wonders for your career. You, however, are definitely not on board with whatever plan she, along with your publicist, Ashley, are going to cook up with JJ’s team.

Currently, Madelyn is driving you and herself to the office, where you plan to meet up with JJ, his manager Josh and publicist Andrea. It just so happens that you’re both with the same management company.

Lucky for you.

“I cannot believe he got us into this mess,” you sulk as you sink into the passenger seat of Madelyn’s Range Rover. “I’m getting flashbacks to being eighteen, and that’s not exactly a time I’d like to relive.”

“You’re so dramatic,” she laughs. “It’ll be fine.”

Madelyn pulls into the parking lot, throwing her car into park and turning to look at you. She can see the nerves beginning to take over. “Hey,” she says. “You got this.”

“I don’t know if I do, Mads. I mean, you know everything that happened with JJ and I back then. It’s hard, seeing him again. It was different when I was reading about his rise to stardom. But working with him, and now him trying to reinsert himself in my life…”

You stop yourself before your voice has the chance to waiver. You don’t want to cry over him. It’s been too long. But now, having to deal with him almost everyday, the wound feels brand new again. And it nearly killed you the first time.

Madelyn squeezes your shoulder. “Look, I don’t want you to worry. It’s not going to be easy, but as your manager, I have to take any chance I can at advancing your career, and the truth is, JJ has the street cred. I promise there will be a bright side to this. Endorsements and brand deals, new acting opportunities. Who knows what could happen, or who’ll approach you. You know I’d never force you into anything, but I really believe that we gotta do this.”

As hard as it is, you know she has a point. She’s always believed in you, and has put your career at the top of her priority list always. The least you can do is stick it out and have faith in her the way she does with you.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” She asks, her eyes glimmering brightly as she grins.

“Yeah. You’re right. Who knows what’s in store, right? And my career is the most important thing to me. It’s the right thing to do.”

“I’m so proud to be your manager-slash-best friend,” she grins, clapping her hands as she squeals with excitement.

You can’t help but smile too. “Me too, Mads.”

You walk into JJ’s manager’s office at Floyd Management, instantly being greeted by his manager and publicist. Your eyes lock momentarily with the blonde’s, before his manager speaks.

“Y/N, great to meet you. I’m Josh Parker, and this is Andrea Scott, JJ’s publicist.”

“Andrea. Big fan,” she speaks.

“Nice to meet you both,” you say, shaking both their hands. “This is Madelyn Davis, my manager, and my publicist, Ashley Sawyer is unfortunately unable to make it today. I’m really sorry for the inconvenience.”

“No worries,” Josh assures you. “Andrea’s been in touch with her, game-planning and what not. She gave us the go ahead to get things started in her absence.”

“Awesome,” you smile. You hesitantly take a seat next to JJ in front of Josh’s desk when he motions you to sit there.

“So, we’ve all been doing some talking, and we’ve devised a plan that should help with the takeoff of your new film.”

“Great. What did you have in mind?” Madelyn questions. “I’m not sure if you know about Y/N and JJ’s history, but I won’t force her into something that makes her uncomfortable.”

Josh nods, “We completely understand that, but given the circumstances, we aren’t sure that you’re going to be too thrilled about our idea.”

Confusion fills you, as well as your nerves which have made a reappearance. “What is this idea, exactly?”

“Well,” Andrea begins, “To be honest…your shared history is aligned with the plot of the movie you two are going to be working on soon. It’s all about second chances. Reconnecting with your first love and rediscovering the undeniable connection that still lingers between you.”

Uh oh, you think. I don’t think I like where this is going.

“It’s perfect, really. Ex-childhood best friends and high school sweethearts falling back in love as they prepare to shoot a romantic comedy of an almost identical nature. You really couldn’t ask for better publicity.”

You want to ask questions, but JJ beats you to it.

“So what exactly are you asking us to do?”

“We think the two of you should form a fake relationship. We’ll start with a soft launch, hinting that the two of you are reconciling, and thanks to JJ’s statement last week, it’ll be easy for fans to catch. Then, we’ll work our way toward the hard launch, confirming your relationship and springing it forth to the public eye. You’ll have to move in together to keep up the ruse. We’ll organize a small press tour where the two of you can discuss your sordid past and how you’ve come back together right in time for the film, ensuring that the public will witness an indisputable chemistry between you two on screen, should they choose to watch. The press will eat it up, as well as the fans, and it’ll help both the movie’s sales as well as the advancement for both of your careers.”

You’re unable to move. You’re left there, slack jawed as you try to fathom how the hell you’re supposed to move forward with this godforsaken plan.

“And this would help JJ out tremendously with the predicament he’s currently in,” Josh chimes in with a nervous chuckle.

“Predicament? I’m sorry, what predicament?” Madelyn asks.

Josh turns to JJ, “I thought you said they knew?”

“Yeah, uh, I lied about that, actually,” JJ responds, scratching his brow and trying to shield his face from your view.

“What else is new?” You murmur, more to yourself than anyone else, but they all hear your comment anyway. JJ chooses to ignore it, as does everyone else.

“It’s all right,” JJ speaks, “You can tell them. If I wanna get Y/N back, I gotta start being honest, right?”

You laugh sarcastically, “Ha. You’re not getting me back, Maybank.”

“Just tell her,” JJ urges.

“Right…well, you see…JJ has been in his…rebellious phase lately, and it seems that three women filmed themselves having relations with JJ…together. They’ve threatened to release it unless we pay them hush money. But, if you agree to our plan, then we can get ahead of it in case the women choose to leak it. We can say that JJ was lost and succumbing to the pressure of an immense amount of fame at such a young age, and say that once you reentered his life, it changed him for the better. Almost as if you solved all his problems just by being there again.”

“So let me get this straight…you want me to agree to be in a fake relationship with JJ so his whoring doesn’t tear his career and reputation to shreds? Yeah, fat chance,” you speak, crossing your arms. “Besides, who’s really going to believe that I can change him anyway?”

“To be fair, I do,” Josh states. “I mean, you must have some affect in him. This is the first time he’s been early to a meeting in eight months.”

You cock your brow, slightly turning your head to look at JJ beside you. He busies himself by picking at a string from the rips of his jeans. “Is that true?”

“Do you care if it is?”

“Nope. Just asking a question.”

“Yes, it’s true,” Andrea cuts in. “JJ’s been a mess for months. One sight of you and boom, his head is already getting back in the game.”

Yeah, right.

“Look, you guys might believe that JJ cares about what I think, or that he might listen to me, and maybe I used to as well, but he proved me wrong. And I’m not interested in being proven wrong again.”

“Well, maybe if you let me explain what really happened, then—”

“I don’t need you to explain,” you grit out. “I was there. I lived it.”

“Damn it, Y/N, will you just—”

“Alright!” Madelyn interrupts, halting JJ from speaking further. “Y/N and I will take some time to think about this. Arguing isn’t going to solve anything. Just give us a few days and we’ll be in touch.”

Madelyn gets up, shakes Josh and Andrea’s hands and walks out of the office with you following suit, hot on her trail.

Finally. It’s over.

“So, what do you think?” Madelyn asks when the two of you step into her office in the same building. The elevator ride and the walk had both been eerily quiet, and she knew your mind was racing.

“What do I think?” You scoff, making a beeline for the small bar tray in the corner room. You pour yourself a shot of tequila and down it without a second thought. “I think that this plan is bullshit, Mads. I’m already struggling with the fact that he’s going to be my on-screen love interest for the next few months. But starting a fake relationship? Does everyone think I’m some kind of masochist?”

It was crazy. More than crazy.

“Of course, nobody thinks that, babe. But…”

“Oh, no. But what?”

“Okay, don’t get mad, but I really do think that JJ seems remorseful. And I’m not saying that his obvious regret excuses what he did, because it doesn’t, but I am saying that at the very least, he’s in the position to help your career. Josh and Andrea are both legends in this business, and if they believe this plan will work…”

You let out a groan, holding your head in your hands. “I need another shot,” you monotone, turning back to the bar to pour yourself some more tequila.

“I’d join you, but I gotta get going. I’ll call you later. Just think about it. And don’t forget to lock the door when you’re finished,” she says, grabbing her purse and heading for the door. You hear her open the door and then begin to speak to someone, but you assume she’s taken a phone call. That’s before you hear the footsteps approaching you.

“Change your mind about that drink?”

“Actually, uh, Madelyn’s gone, but I’ll take you up on that offer.”

No. Absolutely not. There’s no way this man has the audacity to speak to you after that nightmare of a meeting.

“You can’t be here. You need to go, JJ.”

He moves from his place in the doorway, slowly walking in your direction. He still keeps his distance, knowing it’ll set you off if he gets too close. “I’m here to talk about work, all right? Not about us.”

“That’s good,” you reply, “ seeing as there is no us.”

“Y/N, I’m sorry. I had no idea you’d be working on this movie, and I never would’ve agreed to it if I did. But that doesn’t change where we are now. I know you hate me, I do. And I know it’s hard for you to even look me in the eye, but I also know that you value your career. You worked hard to get to where you are, and so did I. I think this could be good for us. Y’know, work wise.”

You gather yourself, taking your second shot before slowly turning around to face him.

You step closer to him, finally and truly face to face.

“You really expect me to help you save your career after what you did? It changed me, JJ. You changed me. I worked damn hard to get where I am, and I worked especially hard to demolish that insecure and poor little girl who let a guy dictate her self worth. I have absolutely zero intentions of going back.”

You notice the guilt flash over his features, though you try your hardest not to.

“I’m not asking you to. I just…fuck, Y/N/N, I’m beggin’ you here. I can’t revert to who I was back then either. I can’t feel like that again,” he said.

Flashback - Five Years Ago

JJ awoke early the following morning, unfortunately being reminded of the fact that he had an early shift. He still had to go home, get ready, and make his way to the country club over on Figure Eight.

What he wanted to do was stay in bed with you. Watch you sleep peacefully, stain kisses into your skin, whisper sweet nothings in your ear. Remind you of how much he loved you and how his long-awaited dream was finally coming true.

But he was also reminded of the fact that there were bills to pay. With Luke currently in jail, someone had to work to barely afford to keep his childhood home, no matter how many sour memories it held within its walls.

JJ’s hand smoothed up your arm, stroking your shoulder. “How did the universe come up with you, huh?” He spoke in a hushed tone, careful not to wake you from your slumber. “Can’t believe I get to call you mine.”

A few minutes of doting went by, and then JJ lowered his head to press a chaste kiss to your forehead before slowly climbing out of bed. He got dressed, and when he was finished, he headed over to your desk. He grabbed a scrap piece of paper and jotted down a note, leaving it by your bedside before heading out.

JJ got off his bike, nudging the kick stand into place before hopping off and approaching his house. He couldn’t wipe the large grin off his face even if he tried as he stepped through the door.

“I got the girl. I finally got the girl,” he said to himself.

It all felt so surreal. Like it was too good to be true. He’d waited years to hear those words fall from your lips, had waited even longer to speak them to you himself. And now, both of those things had happened, and JJ felt like he was on top of the world.

“Hm, is that so?”

Until now.

“Dad, what’re you— You’re back?”

Luke stumbled as he approached JJ from the kitchen, obviously drunk and back to his regular scheduled bullshit.

“Yeah, looks like it. Now, about that girl. You meant Y/N, didn’t you?”

“None of your business.”

JJ had always done his best to keep you out of the drama that was Luke. He barely let you come around in Luke’s presence. His number one priority was to protect you, always. Especially from the man who’d been beating him his entire life.

Luke chuckled dryly, “You know you’ll never be enough for her, JJ.”

“That’s not true.”

“That what she told you?” Luke questioned, getting closer to him. JJ could smell the liquor on his breath, a familiar and unwelcome fragrance where his father was concerned. He turned his head to the side, trying to avoid it, as well as bitter look on Luke’s face.

“You’re nothin’ but a greedy salt-lifer, just like me. You’re worthless. And you sure as hell aren’t gettin’ off this damn island. Y/N will soon see that. There’s no hope for you, boy, and certainly not any goddamn love.”

“Shut up,” JJ spat.

“What’d you just say?”

“I said, shut up!” JJ exclaimed, shoving Luke away from him.

“Don’t you dare touch me, boy,” Luke gritted, throwing a sharp punch and hitting JJ square in the jaw. He watched as JJ spat out the blood pooling in his mouth, and scramble in an attempt to get up. He wasn’t quick enough, though, and Luke kicked him in the abdomen, sending JJ onto the ground and landing flat on his back.

Towering over him, Luke grabbed him by the collar and pressed him back down. JJ felt a sharp pain the back of his head as it hit the floor beneath him. A groan escaped his lips, and he screwed his eyes shut.

“Your mama couldn’t even love you, and you expect her to stick around? What do you have to offer her, huh? Your beat up clothes? The quick cash you make from selling your weed? All the shit you steal when you pick up work on Figure Eight? You have nothing. You are nothing. Like I said, you will never be good enough for her.”

JJ sulked throughout his entire shift. He couldn’t help it. Luke’s words had been echoing in his mind over and over, like a song on loop that would never cease.

You have nothing. You are nothing.

He had a point, didn’t he? JJ knew he didn’t have the means to provide you with the beautiful life you deserved. He had barely felt a mother’s love before she took off, and was then left to be raised by the hands of a monster. He couldn’t deck you out with fancy clothes and jewelry or gift you a luxurious home and car like the guys over on Figure Eight, or even around the globe.

You will never be good enough for her.

All JJ could give to you was his heart, and he started to wonder if that would come up short as well.

End of Flashback

You screw yourself over when your eyes lock with his. You can see the pain behind them, still as prominent as it’d been all those years ago. He’s wearing the same look he always did whenever Luke would lay a hand on him. Trying to keep himself together, even though he was tearing himself up inside. You’d never admit it, but it still hurt, seeing him like this. You know it’s genuine, but is that really enough to trust him?

“Please,” JJ presses.

You let out a deep sigh, half-wanting to drink yourself into a stupor and blackout so you could erase this entire day from your memory.

“Stop. You don’t get to guilt me into this, or make me out to be the bad guy. I can’t just say yes. I…I need to think about all of this.”

“Right. Of course,” he says, looking down as he plays with his fingers. “I understand.”

JJ begins to walk away, his back now facing you with his shoulders slumped. He disappears into the hallway, and you can tell he feels defeated. You’re planning on saying no. You both know that. It doesn’t need to be said out loud. And, to be quite honest, it kills you; the fact that it feels like you’re killing him. You still hold so much ill will toward him within you. So much hurt. You feel as small as you did when he walked away from what you two had. But seeing someone you loved for so long in pain is never easy.

It never will be.

TAG LIST (JOIN HERE!): @mvybanks @jjsbank444 @wildflwrdarlin @pankowperfection @rafesveryrealgf @dreamingwithrafe @maybankslover @tell-me-when-ur-ready @goblink1ng666 @sickyrat @la-neveritayque @dilvcv @obaex @taintedxkisses @loveu-always @em0-b0ysworld @slytherhoes @lanabrock @cecesrings @princessbetsy123-blog @pankowperfection @goldenroutledge @penny4yourthoughts @bmo-bri @hemogloban @maybank-archives @whoisdrewstarkey

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666writingcafe · 6 months

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The Confrontation

Author's Note: I thought I'd make things more dramatic by having MC be the one that passes out after the trip to Thirteen's cave. Also, the following scene takes place at the Demon Lord's castle as everyone anxiously waits for MC to recover.

Lucifer

The air is tense. Diavolo has gathered everyone in the sitting room for an urgent meeting, but no one seems to want to speak. It's as though they're afraid that their words will further harm MC.

"So, Lord Diavolo." Thank goodness. Asmo has broken the silence. "You're going to explain exactly what's going on, right? That's why we're all here, isn't it?" Diavolo sighs.

"Yes. It's time for everyone to be on the same page. We've kept this secret for long enough."

"We?" Satan repeats. "You mean, it's not just you that's been hiding things from us?"

"We've merely kept a promise," Barbatos chimes in. "Nothing more."

"What in the hell are you talking about?!" Mammon shouts.

"There is reason to believe that MC's power is gradually destroying the three realms." My brothers are stunned into silence. I don't blame them. I reacted similarly when Diavolo first told me.

"MC reached out to me a few months ago," Diavolo continues. "They told me that they believe there was a connection between a recurring nightmare they had and strange phenomena taking place in the human world. They kept track of the dates and noticed that there were some that didn't connect to anything there. So naturally, they wanted to know if similar phenomena were occurring in the Devildom."

"As it turns out, they were," Simeon adds. "The Celestial Realm experienced strange events as well, and all of the dates MC recorded corresponded to something that occurred in one of the three realms."

This statement causes the room to erupt into chaos. The only people not yelling at Diavolo, Barbatos, and Simeon is Beel--who simply stares forlornly at a random spot on the wall--and Belphie. I should be surprised by the latter's reaction, but I suppose that he used his mental connection with MC to put the pieces together.

I wish this wasn't our reality. The possibility of losing MC has kept me awake more times than I'd like to admit, and if I didn't promise myself I'd remain sober through this, I'd be drowning in Demonus right about now.

As it is, it's hard to keep my composure as I watch everyone I care about fall apart like this.

"Enough!" The single word cuts through the arguing and causes everyone to look towards the entryway. MC looks a little pale, and they're using Solomon as a slight crutch to keep them upright, but at least they're alive.

"I would advise you all to watch your tone, because they haven't done anything wrong," MC warns once they have our attention. "I'm the one that has requested secrecy. Not Diavolo, not Lucifer, not anyone else, me."

"Why didn't you tell us?" Asmo and Luke ask simultaneously. The two of them exchange sheepish glances before Asmo adds,

"We would have been more than willing to help you, MC. You didn't have to keep this from us."

"Yes, I did. If everyone knew, it would have been harder to make certain decisions."

"What decisions?" Levi asks, making MC sigh.

"I shouldn't even be alive. Between my ancestry and my pacts with all seven rulers of the underworld, it's a miracle I haven't spontaneously combusted, let alone not caused irreversible damage to the three realms." MC briefly pauses as they steady themselves. "The problem is that my power is very hard to control. Even after all of the studying and training I've gone through, it still overtakes me rather easily. It's quite dangerous."

"Last time, MC was knocked out for a few minutes," Solomon recalls. "This time, for a few days. It's very possible that the next time might take them even longer to recover from, and there may come a day where they might not wake up at all. And that's just them. All of us are susceptible to the effects of MC's power."

"So, what do we do?" Asmo asks. "How can we help MC?"

"According to my research, there are only two ways to fix this issue: find a magical object strong enough to suppress the impact of MC's power, or have them revert to the state they were in when they first arrived to the Devildom."

A magical object...

There is only one capable of doing the job. Problem is, I would have to admit that I gave it to her after I got cast out of the Celestial Realm, which would cause even more drama.

Plus, would she even have it still, or would she have thrown it away or destroyed it after our relationship ended?

My train of thought gets interrupted by the sound of a blade getting unsheathed. Turning my head towards the noise reveals Solomon holding a dagger.

No. Not a dagger. The dagger. The one powerful enough to sever pacts. Once that gets used, we will never again be bonded to MC in that particular way.

Where did Solomon find it? More importantly, how long has he had it?

#obey me shall we date #obey me mc #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me levi #obey me asmo #obey me asmodeus #obey me beel #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphie #obey me belphegor #obey me diavolo #obey me lord diavolo #obey me solomon #obey me barbatos #obey me simeon #obey me luke

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yallwildinrn · 26 days

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Seven Sentence Sunday Monday

Phoenix post a challenge on the day you're supposed to do it challenge (IMPOSSIBLE). Regardless, thank you @justabigoldnerd and @pippinoftheshire for the tag!!

This is from a fic I have no idea if I'll end up posting bc it belongs to a very specific AU of mine & @heytheredeann's creation. It holds a very near and dear place in my heart, though, so maybe it'll see the light of day :)

Illya turns another page of his newspaper as he waits patiently in the dimly lit cellar. He leans against the chair further, and it creaks with irritation at the movement, but Illya pays it no mind. Metal clinks together as Napoleon organizes his tools for the hundredth. Illya could describe his partner in a few words: careful, methodical, prepared - and at the moment, bored. Illya smiles behind his newspaper as Napoleon hums some upbeat tune that he likely picked up from the radio earlier that evening. It seems they've both settled in for what could be a long wait, except... “Awake already?” Napoleon asks with a pleased tone to the other person in the room, and Illya pokes his head over the top of his newspaper to see if that statement rings true.

Tagging: @too-young-to-fall-in-love, @zappedbyzabka, @abracazabka, @amadeusevenstar, @heytheredeann, and anyone else I have forgotten to tag or who wants to join in!

#dear diary #my writing #tmfu #illya kuryakin #napoleon solo #this is such an innocent start lmao

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novamariestark · 6 months

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OMG I just came across your page and read your Tallahassee fics and had to come say that they are so spicy, fun & amazing!!!! Please tell me you have plans to write more because you’re the best writer I’ve read for him 💕

I wanted to ask if I can request a bit of a comfort fluffy one if you like it where like in the first movie he reveals to everyone that Buck was actually his son so the reader ends up comforting him later and they make love telling him they won’t replace his baby but maybe it’s time they can make a new family of their own together.

Hello 😁, thank you, I'm glad you like my stories. I am in the middle of another one atm but I got multiple ideas on how to end it and I sometimes can't make decision to save my life 😂. I rewrote this a couple of times, trying to get it perfect. I hope it's somewhat close to what you were thinking x😊

𝐿𝑜𝓈𝓈 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝐿𝑜𝓋𝑒

Summary: During a game of Monopoly, you find out that your boyfriend lost the most important thing in his life. His son

Warnings: none

Word count: 1950

“Hey guys, look what I found,” you announced cheerfully as you skipped into the living room, where the group was gathered around the fire, their faces illuminated by the flickering flames. The room is dim, but the fireplace casts a gentle glow. You held up a box with a hopeful smile plastered on your face, revealing the game you had stumbled upon, “Wanna play?”

“Oh, Monopoly,” Columbus said, reaching up for the box with a smile. "Cool." He quickly opened the box to admire all of the little pieces, game tokens, Chance cards, Community Chest cards, and the big stack of Monopoly Money. He placed the box in the middle of the group and began unpacking the pieces.

"Wow," Wichita exclaimed, "I haven't played that in years."

“Dibs on the top hat,” you called out, shooting your hand in the air as if you were asking your teacher for permission to talk. Tallahassee smiled at your childlike enthusiasm, and you could feel his gaze on you as you eagerly awaited his response. After a few seconds, he silently handed you the top hat, and you took it with an excited expression. You quickly took the spot next to him, and his arm immediately wrapped around your waist. You felt the warmth of his body pressing against you, and you smiled as you settled into the spot that you would come to think of as yours. You had been searching for this feeling for a long time, and now that you had it, you felt happy and content. Tallahassee smiled as he kissed your head.

You each roll the dice, aiming to get the highest number that you can and to be the first to get to the fun and exciting places on the board. Wichita lands on Park Place and wastes no time, quickly buying it up and planning to build some houses. Little Rock, meanwhile, rolls a double, is thrilled to land on Boardwalk, and is lucky enough to be able to buy it before anyone else. On the other side of the table, Tallahassee gets sent to the 'Go' spot, collecting two hundred dollars and reminiscing on all the times that she has mistakenly ended up there before. Columbus, however, rolls snake eyes, revealing that it’s time to pay taxes.

Little Rock rolled the dice again and got a seven. She moved her token and landed on the Free Parking space on the game board.

“Oh, free parking, which coincidentally is the best thing about Zombieland,” Wichita points out, and you laugh before bringing your drink to your lips to take a sip.

“That’s a good one, but I think the best thing about Z-Land is no speed limit,” you replied, smirking. The statement echoed through the group, eliciting knowing chuckles. You were no stranger to the thrill of the open road, though your reckless driving had earned you a fair share of speeding tickets in the pre-apocalyptic world, which the group was not surprised about. Tallahassee rarely lets you drive anymore.

“Of course, you’d say that,” Tallahassee said with a chuckle. Columbus shook his head and Wichita was suppressing a giggle. Little Rock sat with a straight face, although you could tell she was amused. You grinned at them all.

“No, best thing about Z-land No Facebook status updates. You know "Rob Curtis is gearing up for Friday". Who cares.” Columbus added, rolling his eyes.

“Or ‘Already on my third cup of joe this morning!” You chimed in.

Tallahassee, with a playful twirl of the fork in his fingers, added, "The best thing is no more flushing, epic." His statement elicited a collective chuckle from you.

You shook your head at him and smirked. “Of course, you’d sat that,” you mimicked. You squeal as he brings his hand to your waist, giving it a light pinch.

"And the worst thing? About Z-land?” Wichita asked, her eyes grazing over the group.

“You mean other than the fact that I shot Bill Murray?” Columbus asked sadly, looking down at the board, looking for something to occupy his hands.

Tallahassee's gaze remained fixed on the floor as he spoke, “That's easy. Losing Buck,”

“That's his puppy.” Columbus told the girls, gesturing towards him.

“I tell you, I never thought I could love anything like Buck. The day he was born, I just lost my mind.”

“Sorry.” Wichita whispered, her voice heavy with regret at asking the question.

“He had my personality, my laugh, and my appetite,” he continued, the strain in his voice becoming more obvious as he was on the verge of crying. Then it hit you. The pain that was swimming in tears in his eyes, his actions, and his hatred towards the zombies It wasn’t a puppy they took from him. It was his son. Why did it take you so long to realize this?

His soft sobs that he fought to contain drifted through the air, reaching your ears. You felt helpless. You didn’t know how to make him feel better. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out something: “We made this wallet together out of duct tape."

He handed the wallet to you, and in it, you saw two pictures of a young blonde boy. You smiled. He’s adorable, or he was. Asshole zombies. You wanted kids. At least you did before the apocalypse started. Now it seemed like a bad idea. Even though you would love to have a family with Tallahassee. But you weren't sure if he'd want one with you.

“I haven't cried like that since Titanic,” he said, picking up a pile of money to wipe his tears. Tallahassee excused himself from the game and headed upstairs. You then excused yourself and followed him.

You softly knocked on the door before entering. “It’s only me,” you said. When you walked in, he was lying on the bed, hugging the pillow. You went to the other side and lay down beside him, facing him. “I’m sorry, baby."

You wished you could take away his pain, but all you could do was be there for him. You kissed his forehead, whispering words of love and comfort. You looked into his eyes, wet with tears, and saw the depth of his grief. You knew he had lost a part of himself—a part that could never be replaced. You wanted him to know that he was not alone and that you loved him more than anything in the world.

“I know nothing I can do can ever make up for that, but I love you, and you have me forever,” you whispered. Tears welled up in your eyes as you stroked his cheek, wiping away the trail of water left behind by his tears. You wished you could kill them all and wipe them off the face of the earth. You wished you could end this nightmare, this hell.

But you knew that was impossible. You knew that you were outnumbered and outmatched. You knew that you had to keep fighting, keep living, and keep hoping.

You tightened your grip on him, trying to convey your love. You kissed his cheek, his neck, and his shoulder. You whispered words of comfort. You told him that you were sorry, letting him know that you were there for him and you would be through anything.

He smiled weakly at you, squeezing your hand. He thanked you for being there for him, for being his rock and his anchor. He told you that he loved you too and that you were his everything.

He leaned in and kissed you softly and gently. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer to him. He rested his head on your chest, listening to your heartbeat. He closed his eyes and sighed. He felt a flicker of hope in his heart.

You continued to stroke his cheek softly, basking in the warmth of his skin. His eyes fluttered shut, and his breathing was slow and steady. You couldn't help but smile at the sight of him, completely relaxed.

However, your mind was racing with questions and doubts. You had been through so much together, surviving in a world that had been torn apart by a deadly virus. The two of you had formed a bond that was unbreakable.

After a few minutes of internal debate, you decided to voice the question that had been weighing on your mind since you got together. "If the world wasn't the way it was, would you have a family with me?" you asked softly.

There was a moment of silence, and you felt your heart sink.

But then he spoke, his voice barely above a whisper. "Yes, I would," he said. "If we can find a safe place to set up camp and live, maybe we still can."

You couldn't believe what you were hearing, but it seemed impossible in a world where survival was the only goal.

"Do you really think we can?" you asked as his hand moving to rest on your stomach as if something was already growing in there.

He nodded with a determined look in his eyes. "I'll make sure of it," he said, pulling you close and kissing you softly.

As your kiss grew more passionate, you felt like the whole world around you had stopped. His hands slowly left your face and tangled into your hair. As our kiss grew more passionate and desperate, it felt as though time had stopped. Your lips intertwined, speaking what words could never express.

You knew that the future was uncertain, but with him by your side, anything was possible. Tallahassee had become your home, and no matter where you were, as long as you were with him, you knew that you would be okay.

***

9 months later.

You writhed in pain as you lay on your bed, clutching the sheets tightly in your hands. Tallahassee was kneeling by your side, offering words of comfort and support as he guided you through each painful wave. But despite your best efforts, you couldn't help but feel a seething anger building within you. As the minutes turned into hours, your frustration grew with each passing moment.

“God, I hate you!” You screamed at him, squeezing his hand as hard as you could, your nails digging into the rough flesh.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the moment arrived. With one final push, you gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Tears streamed down your face as you held your newborn in your arms, your eyes glistening with tears of joy, exhaustion, and overwhelming love. The tiny, fragile life you cradled in your arms represented a glimmer of hope in a world tainted by chaos and uncertainty.

You both gaze down at your newborn daughter, her fragile fingers clutching one of Tallahassee’s. You turned to him, his eyes reflecting a mixture of pride and tenderness, and asked, "What shall we name her?"

Tallahassee, who had been deep in thought, looked up at you with a twinkle in his eye. "I have the perfect name," he said, as his thumb gently stroked the back of your daughter's tiny hand. "Let's call her Dove."

A warm smile graced your lips as your eyes lovingly met those of your beautiful baby girl. "Dove," you whispered softly, "I love it."

And Dove it was. The name suited your little angel perfectly, with her delicate features and pure innocence. You both vowed to love and protect her with everything you had and to give her the best life possible.

With your precious newborn cradled between you, he gently leaned in, pressing a tender kiss to your forehead. “Thank you,”

You took his hand in yours and looked him in the eyes. “We’re not replacing him,” you told him seriously. He squeezed your hand and brought it to his lips, placing a soft kiss on the back.

[You can change the name if you want guys ❤]

#reader insert #female reader #tallahassee #zombieland #tallahassee x reader #zombieland fanfiction #zombieland x reader

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bullet-prooflove · 5 months

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Past Mistakes - Part Twenty One: All The Way - Mike Duarte x Reader

Tagging: @crazy4chickennuggets @kmc1989 @withakindheartx @mysoulisasunflower @resonmalvo @littleone65 @thesandbeneathmytoes @mydarkestsecretlol @evee87 @wooshwastaken @hearthockey@justreblogginfics @im-just-a-mississippi-girl @rosaliedepp @thatesqcrush @storiesofsvu @whateversomethingbruh @burningpeachpuppy @legit9thlunaticwarrior @kiwiithecrazybird @spooky-pomegranate @telepathay @weiwei0210 @spaghettificationandpretzels @plaidbooks

Past Mistakes Series:

Part One: Try - Mike turns back up in your life after three years apart.

Part Two: Hope (NSFW) - Mike and you get reaquainted.

Part Three: California - Mike and you discuss the past.

Part Four: Favours - Mike asks Liv for a favour.

Part Five: Choices - Mike comes face to face with someone from his past.

Part Six: Truth Hurts - Mike begs you to tell him the truth about what happened three years ago.

Part Seven: Sharing - Mike and Joe have a conversation.

Part Eight: Buried - Mike discovers that McGrath’s misdeeds go far futher than he thought.

Part Nine: Complicated - Mike discusses moving forward.

Part 10: Feral - Mike returns to the apartment to find you’ve disappeared.

Part Eleven: Torture - You wake up in the basement.

Part Twelve: Fire - You and Joe discuss moving forward.

Part Thirteen: Lost Time - You and Mike get real on his porch.

Part Fourteen: Plan B - Mike always has a plan B.

Part Fifteen: Proud - Mike tells you how proud he is of what you’re doing.

Part Sixteen: Mattituck (NSFW) - You show Mike how much you love him.

Part Seventeen: Seven - Joe makes a discovery.

Part Eighteen: Patterns - Benson and Murphy discover the reality of McGrath’s misdeeds.

Part Nineteen: Mike & Nora - Joe learns the story of your relationship.

Part Twenty: Bad News - Joe calls Mike with bad news.

It’s over.

It’s been four days since Joe called with news of McGrath’s suicide and you still aren’t sure you believe it. The man who’s haunted your nightmares for the past three years is gone and you’re still trying to wrap your head around it.

You’re sitting on the veranda overlooking the beach, a mug of tea clasped to your chest as you watch the waves overlap the shore. The morning paper sits on the table in front of you, the pages flicking in the breeze.

McGrath’s face stares up at you from underneath the byline. They’ve used a picture of him in his dress blues, something from one of his previous press conferences. Your fingers trace over the headline and you find yourself smiling.

Chief’s Corruption Scandal…

McGrath’s worst nightmare come to life.

You don’t know who leaked the story, but you have a suspicion.

Joe and Mike had been on the phone for over an hour last night, locked away in the bedroom while you watched TV in the lounge. You knew he was furious about the way McGrath’s suicide was being spun out in the press. Since the indictment hadn’t gone through the NYPD had hoped to avoid a scandal by releasing a statement allocating the blame to issues in his personal life. You had been so fucking upset when you’d seen it, it had literally made you physically ill.

Seeing the truth printed in the paper this morning made everything feel a little lighter. For the first time in a long time, you can breathe again.

It’s all there in print. The sexual assaults, the misappropriation of evidence, use of his position for personal gain. Your name isn’t mentioned, and neither are the names of any of the other women who McGrath assaulted but the evidence, Cass’s story it’s written in the pages.

“He must have heard the indictment was coming down.” Murphy had told you over Zoom the day after it happened. “Carisi thinks he knew there was no way he could plea it down, so he took the only option left to him.”

You hear Mike’s footsteps on the decking behind you. His hand comes to rest on your shoulder, squeezing it lightly as his lips brush over the back of your head.

“Did you sleep at all?” He asks you, pulling up his chair close to yours. He’s clad in flannel pyjama bottoms and a black t-shirt, his hair swept back away from his face.

“Better than I have in a long time.” You admit as you push the newspaper towards him so that he can read the headline. “I’m guessing you and Joe had something to do with this.”

Mike studies it for a moment before flipping it over.

“It was making you ill.” Mike says quietly, his fingertips tapping upon the surface of the table. “They had to know the truth about who he was, what he did. He can’t get away with it just because he’s dead.”

You reach for his hand, clasping it tightly in yours before you say.

“Thank you.”

“I don’t want your thanks.” Mike tells you, his fingers entwining with yours. “I just want you to be happy and safe.”

You nod silently. There’s a well of emotion building in your chest because what you have to say next, it’s hard. It’s something you’ve been hiding from Mike since you’d come to the realisation in therapy.

“I can’t go back.” You say softly. “To the city, to that job. I just can’t.”

“I know. I can’t either…” Mike says before jabbing his finger at the newspaper. “…not after this. They were going to cover it up, let it die with him.”

He purses his lips together as if there’s a sour taste in his mouth.

“That life, it’s not for me anymore.”

Mike’s eyes lift to meet yours; he wants you to see the honesty in them when he tells you this next part, he needs you to know he means what he’s about to say.

“I’ve got over twenty years, I think it’s time to cash that in. We can look for a place in Mattituck or take that that road trip up to California, the one we always talked about. We lost so much time…”

He trails off, shaking his head to dispel the memories. He can’t keep looking back, he has to move forward the same way you are.

“The one thing I do know is that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Whatever you want to do, wherever you want to go, I’m with you all the way.”

Love Mike Duarte? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

Want more Mike? Check out his Masterlist here!

Interested in supporting me? Join my Patreon for Bonus Content!

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#mike duarte #mike duarte x reader #mike duarte x you #captain mike duarte #law and order svu #svu #law and order special victims unit #maurice compte

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boundinparchment · 2 months

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It's funny because I was just thinking about the coffee shop AU you came up with last time! 8. Hospital AU and 70. Locked in a Room or 71. Twenty-Four Hours to Live because I can't decide. With Dottore and whoever else comes to mind :3

"Whatever you do, don't--" Karina winced when the latch clicked home. "...let the door shut."

"How did you get in here?"

Today was turning out to be absolute hell and it just kept getting worse. After the day (and night) she'd had, especially after the grueling drive in the raging snowstorm, she wanted to be alone.

A prayer room would have been better, in hindsight. It was stupid of her to assume the door to the bunk room wasn't busted when she had to press her shoulder into the door for it to unstick.

And now, the head of neurology was glaring at her with eyes even more bloodshot than hers. His question had everything to do with her blood-splattered EMS uniform; only doctors had access to on-call rooms and most were locked behind keycards.

Except for this one, tucked away in an older part of the hospital, away from the bustle.

"Same as you. But now that the door is closed, it can't open from the inside."

Karina met the neurologist more times than she cared to, purely out of coincidence. He was the youngest department leader in a long time, people said, and although grating on one's emotions, he often knew exactly how to pinpoint and treat the problem.

And maybe, just maybe, she'd been dared to approach him at a bar after drinking with her colleagues, only to end up getting a ride home from the sharp-tongued man standing near the door. He was quiet until she asked about the car and remarked that it looked like a shark from the front. His laugh was warm, rich like the amber liquid that burned her throat, and he remarked on the engine quality and feeling connected to the road.

She hadn't dared invite him upstairs and he had not deigned to ask. People would talk at work anyway; there was little point in lending any truth to such rumors.

That man seemed so far away now as his red eyes burned into her. Exhausted, body and soul, and perhaps all of his work in vain if the patient didn't see results.

The doctor's eyes narrowed, lips tugged into a frown, before he slowly turned to test her statement. Jammed, refusing to budge.

He slammed his fist against the door and then left it there for a moment. His shoulders rose and fell before he straightened and made his way towards one of the other bunks and took a seat. He kicked off his shoes and then settled onto the cot, not bothering to get under the covers as he turned his back to her.

Doctors like him were paged and on-call twenty-four-seven; he'd be up in all of fifteen minutes after they rang for him.

He turned over onto his back, his head lolling to the side to look at her.

"When are you off, Alexandre? Presuming we're able to extradite ourselves from this room."

Karina looked at her watch. "Another five hours, if I'm not stuck on a scene. Car accidents are a given in weather like tonight's. Why?"

"Eighteen hours in surgery and my patient flatlined just as I was closing up their incisions. I'd...prefer the company of one who understands the uphill battle. Especially someone who can smile in the face of it all."

For a moment, she caught nothing but earnestness in his exhausted expression. Karina felt the corners of her lip twitch and the chuckle that escaped him brought her right back to that night.

"Just like that."

If he was going to be that straightforward, the least she could do was return the favor.

She rose from her bunk, pausing only to yank off her boots, before she crawled onto the bed next to him. He was warm, and she could feel toned muscles as she pressed herself into his side. Karina angled her head close to his, lips hovering.

"Life is too short, Karina," he whispered. "I do not wish to waste more time for subpar results."

He captured her lips with his in one smooth motion, slow and methodical, but not without a burning hunger lingering underneath. His arms shifted and before she knew it, she was straddling him.

When she finally broke the kiss, she said, "Sleep first, Zandik."

"I can sleep when I'm dead. I should have finished what I started when I brought you home that night."

#oc: karina alexandre #dottore #il dottore #dottore x oc #dottore x female oc

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houseofbrat · 3 months

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The contrast between the KP and BP statement was stark. One a celebrity style thirsty appeal for max sympathy and the other was ROYAL. Something seems very fishy about KP’s story imho.

Of course the British media is clowning themselves with hyperbolic front pages and trying to pretend that tours that were never confirmed are being rescheduled 😂

It doesn't have anything to do with celebrity vs royal. It has everything to do with the word "fishy" or, as you said, "very fishy."

When triaging conditions for surgery, there were three categories when I worked in a surgical clinic: routine, urgent, and emergency. Emergency is what it means--right now! Urgent is a soon as possible but not immediately. Routine is whenever time is available.

All surgeries are elective unless they are emergent conditions. Go ask any surgeon in a medical school or chief of surgery, and they will admit that more than half of the surgeries done (at least in the US) are not necessary. A man can have a hiatal hernia for more than fifty years and not ever "need" surgery, as long as the hernia is not incarcerating his organs. Same with inguinal hernias. It might be fucking painful, but unless that inguinal hernia is incarcerating the internal organs, it's not an emergency. It doesn't have to be done right away. Both of those are "abdominal surgeries."

The Kensington Palace comms team wrote, "Her Royal Highness The Princess of Wales was admitted to The London Clinic yesterday for planned abdominal surgery." They didn't use the word "routine" in their statement. Other UK media have used the word "routine," such as Sky News.

youtube

For routine surgeries, i.e. non-emergencies, aka elective surgeries, in the US, typically a patient will need to get blood work completed, chest x-ray, ekg/ecg, and a full history & physical (H&P) completed within 30 days prior to the surgery. Certain medications need to be stopped prior to surgeries such as blood thinning medications like aspirin, coumadin/warfarin, and plavix/clopidogrel. Patients must be NPO 8 hours prior to surgery, i.e. no food or drink, due to the anesthesia.

So, KP is telling us with the "planned abdominal surgery" comment that Kate went through the entire pre-operative requirements, fasted, abstained from possible medications, showed up on schedule for a surgery that was "planned" but wouldn't be released from the hospital for another ten days? And yet they couldn't inform the press and public about this prior to this alleged surgery happening?

Bullshit.

It totally screams Leslie Nielsen doing this:

If it was "planned," then why didn't they announce yesterday? "Planned" means it was on the schedule. They could have announced yesterday when she was at the hospital, and nothing would have been any different. Why didn't they announce Monday, if it was indeed "planned." The whole debacle doesn't appear to be "planned" when you're announcing it the day after it happened. It looks like everyone was caught by surprise by Kate allegedly needing such major surgery that she needs AT LEAST THREE MONTHS to recuperate from.

In the age of laparoscopic surgeries, Kate needs three months to recuperate? She can't be seen in public until April? And it's such major surgery that she needs to stay in the hospital longer than most other abdominal surgeries?

Dr Deborah Lee, from Dr Fox Online Pharmacy, told Express.co.uk about why Kate might be in hospital for so long. She said: "For abdominal surgery, most people stay in the hospital for four to seven days. After laparoscopic surgery [a type of keyhole surgery], this is reduced to two to four days.

Once the KP staffers told the press that this isn't cancer-related, KP has lost all credibility. A 42-year-old woman with no publicly known health issues should not normally need to stay in the ten to fourteen days for "routine" surgeries. Even people who get surgery for an AAA--abdominal aortic aneurysm--only stay in the hospital for a few days and return to normal activities far faster than the three months The Princess of Wales will be taking.

You only need to stay in the hospital for observation and monitoring for that long a period if you are unstable. Again, you only need that much time in the hospital for a routine surgery if you are UNSTABLE.

And William taking several weeks off his light schedule basically proves that she is unstable. Because what would prove to the world that The Princess of Wales is not unstable would be her husband doing his job like a normal person. Except he isn't. He's not going to be working until mid-February, at the earliest.

And the Wales fandom will keep making excuses until their world comes crashing down.

#ask #british royal family #pr fail #pr games #strategery #scandal!#ESCANDALO!!!#kate middleton #Catherine The Princess of Wales #Wales fandom ARMAGEDDON #Wales fans are CHUMPS #Prince & Princess OWN GOALS #my gif #sky news

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lilover131 · 2 years

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Tsubasa Ending Summary/Explanation

Many have understandably experienced a lot of confusion regarding the ending of Tsubasa. But no need to fear! Chrissy is here! I’m going to do a deep dive of the ending and do my absolute best to explain it as simply as possible, but know that some of this is just a theory as some questions were never fully answered by CLAMP and simply left to our imaginations. This “explanation” I write may also be more of a summary, but I think it will help those who looked at the pages and did not understand what was happening visually.

It’s also fair to put a disclaimer here that not all endings are perfect. Sometimes they are messy, and even CLAMP is not excluded from this from time to time. Endings are one of the hardest things to write in a story, but I hope to explain this in a satisfying way that helps any left confused better understand the overall situation in the final battle as well as how things were left off.

With that said, let’s dive in! And hold on to your butts, cuz’ this is gonna be a long one (like seriously, I wrote 27 pages, please help).

Rather than starting in the order that CLAMP presents it, I’m actually going to start in “chronological” order, and I have the word chronological in quotes here because technically time flows in a circular motion here rather than in a linear direction, which ultimately becomes the main root of the conflict. But I consider this moment in my mind to have come ‘first’ as it was the catalyst that started this whole fiasco to begin with.

THE CURSE

The moment I am referring to in particular is young Syaoran’s (the real one) fateful 7th birthday with Sakura. On the day of Sakura’s 7th birthday (which was also Syaoran’s), Fei Wang Reed appeared and attacked them in the pool within the ruins of Clow. His target appeared to be Sakura, and Syaoran desperately attempted to save her. Shadows began to envelop her, and when Syaoran reached out to take her hand and pull her out, he hesitated for a moment and chose not to grab it as he did not want to ruin all of the hard work she had put into her purification rites by touching her. This choice would of course affect the path of everything afterwards, exactly to Fei Wang Reed’s plan, and from the very beginning, he plants a seed in Syaoran’s mind by stating to him “The future resides on the other side of our choices. The hand you were unable to grab due to a moment’s hesitation…has decided the path for the future to come”.

Sakura is recognized to have been given a death curse that will eventually consume and kill her, and when Syaoran attempts to fight him, Fei Wang Reed states “You will fight for the sake of your wish? Will your wish and mine become the same?”. This statement will become the first of many that Fei Wang uses to try and manipulate Syaoran. As we know, Syaoran is nearly killed by Fei Wang’s attacks and is transported back to Yuuko’s in his own world to be treated, and he makes a wish to return, his price being a one way ticket with no promise of return.

Upon Syaoran’s hasty return to Clow and without even saying goodbye to his parents, he is immediately met with guilt when he sees Sakura and sees the death curse looming over her chest. Sakura herself and the rest of her family are unable to see it, except for her mother Nadeshiko and of course Syaoran. Nadeshiko is able to see it seemingly because of her strong magical abilities, but as for Syaoran….the reason he can see this is because Fei Wang Reed wished for it, and this is yet another stage of his manipulation tactics. He wants Syaoran to see this mark grow, and he does for many many years. Seven years pass as Syaoran witnesses the mark grow larger and larger, and he has still not come even close to finding a spell to remove it. The weight of his guilt is heavy, and it pains him relentlessly as Sakura slowly moves closer to death. But he made a promise to protect her, and he was determined to keep this promise, even if he was too young at the time to truly understand what a burden this promise was. It was painful, but he knew in his heart it was the right thing.

The day of Sakura’s 14th birthday arrived, and Syaoran is distressed that he still has yet to find a cure to the cursed mark on her body. Sakura’s parents reassure him that the blame does not fall entirely on him, but he has a hard time accepting this as he was the only one present at the time it was engraved upon her, and furthermore he had the opportunity to save her, but hesitated for that moment. Surely, Fei Wang’s words are echoing in his mind over and over. Nadeshiko reminds him that the future has not yet been decided.

Sakura arrives in the pool, the same place she was cursed 7 years ago, and she is prepared to undergo her coming of age rites. However, without warning, the wings engraved on her suddenly spring to life and stab her viciously in every part of her body. Her death would be almost instantaneous, however Nadeshiko is quick to act and stops time just before Sakura is fully lost. It is explained to Syaoran that once time starts again, Sakura will lose her life, and she begs Syaoran to save her before collapsing. In that moment of frozen time, Syaoran thinks to himself “If I had grabbed her hand back then…it wouldn’t be like this now!!”. He is wracked with guilt and once again blaming himself for this terrible situation, wishing desperately that he could do something. He thinks to himself “If I could turn time back, then I could….”. Right on cue, Fei Wang Reed preys on Syaoran’s feelings, the seed he had planted seven years ago now coming to fruition. He speaks into his mind and whispers “I’ll fulfill that wish for you”.

THE WISH

It is unsurprising that the color page leading up to this particular chapter is Syaoran bound by red threads. The red threads symbolize fate, and it seems someone is manipulating these threads to trap and bind him. That person is none other than Fei Wang. He has been planning this all along and been waiting for this moment. He needed Syaoran to be caught in a desperate situation so that he would be pushed to the point of making a wish that he would not dare do otherwise. He offers to ‘help’ him by turning back time to the moment where he hesitated, however is not kind enough to bother advising him of the consequences of such a decision. In fact, he is prepared to grant the wish whether Syaoran agrees to it or not. After all, Fei Wang doesn’t pay prices…he’d much rather let someone else pay for this.

Syaoran seems to understand his dire situation and fights with all his strength to move in the stopped time, and in a miraculous moment, his mother’s magic circle appears beneath him, and he finds himself able to move ever so slightly, briefly breaking Fei Wang’s control of the situation. Yuuko enters the fray and properly describes to him the gravity of the wish he desired in his heart and allows him the choice with full understanding of the heavy price he would pay. He was told that not only would it affect him, but it would impact the lives of all involved, but most especially those who knew of the mark (Sakura’s parents), which is not guaranteed to be a happy future. We would later find that Fujitaka would no longer be the king but instead the adoptive father of clone Syaoran, and Nadeshiko would have an untimely passing.

However, the one who would take on the heaviest burden was of course Syaoran himself. He is advised that even if he succeeds in turning back time, he will not be able to stay by Sakura’s side. His freedom will be stripped away, and his life will also be placed in grave danger with him being able to do nothing but watch. Turning back time is a taboo in magic for a reason, and it is for this reason that the price is so high. Even knowing this, he decides to go forward with the wish, and it is this wish in particular that is the cause of our major conflict.

THE PRICE

Upon making his wish, Syaoran is transformed back into a seven year old. He is in a void that seems to be disconnected from the world he was just in (a dream perhaps?), and he is shocked to see another boy floating in front of him. This boy is none other than our beloved Watanuki from XXXHolic. Because Syaoran has to pay a price of his freedom and is unable to be present in the world until he has paid in full, he has left a void in terms of his relationships. To fill the void he has left in the universe, Watanuki was created to take his place as the son of Syaoran’s parents. He is Syaoran himself, but is also a being that should not exist. He exists as a result of a distortion caused by his wish, and Watanuki is one of many distorted things that has come about from this decision.

Fei Wang very cruelly explains that Watanuki, being someone who should not exist, will create distortions around him and will cause suffering for the parents who birthed him, but also for himself as well. Fortunately, Yuuko arrives behind Watanuki and reiterates that the future is not decided yet. Watanuki, although having an unconventional existence, would decide his own future, and this seems to bring Syaoran some hope.

Yuuko chastises Fei Wang and tells him that his wish cannot be granted, but he is determined to bring a lost life back and surpass Clow Reed. Syaoran recognizes the name of Clow Reed as a distant relative of his father’s, but before any more can be said on the matter, Fei Wang grabs hold of poor Syaoran and tells him that it is time to pay his price. Syaoran is told that he will be stripped of his freedom and remain with him as a prisoner while being able to do nothing but watch the world he created unfold. I’m sure when he was told he would pay his freedom as a price, he could have never imagined that it would be by Fei Wang’s hands, so this must have been incredibly distressing.

Fei Wang outstretches his hand, seemingly trying to take Watanuki with him as well, but Yuuko protects him and insists that although his existence is tied to Syaoran, he is not Syaoran himself and thus does not need to pay the same price. Yuuko even goes as far as to say he will “never fall into his hands”. Fei Wang actually does make attempts to find Watanuki later, but these attempts are foiled, and I will explain further on this later. Fei Wang remarks on how Watanuki’s appearance resembles that of a young Clow, and he believes that this was part of Clow’s plans to try and stop him, even though he has already passed a long time ago. Clow could see the future well in advance after all.

Despite Fei Wang seeing Clow’s hand in some of this, he doesn’t seem discouraged at all and claims that he has already achieved what he wanted from this situation, which was to create a distortion in time and space. In this particular case, the distortion was that one had become two, and this was all thanks to Syaoran’s wish. Poor Syaoran is further emotionally manipulated as he tells him that he did everything according to his plans, then goes on to threaten him, stating that if he does not comply with his will that he will simply make another of him. Syaoran begs him not to, but Fei Wang tells him “It will be the same as if you had done it yourself”, and we later know that this is the very reason why he had such a difficult time separating himself from his clone’s actions and why he found himself feeling responsible. This is because Fei Wang had convinced him long ago that the horrible things the clone would do were his actions too. He also convinces him that everything that happens from now on is a direct result of his taboo wish, thus putting full responsibility on him and no one else. I didn’t need another reason to hate Fei Wang, but these awful gaslighting tactics are just the icing on the cake, and it doesn’t even end here. Oh no…it gets worse later.

Before he disappears with Syaoran to torment him more emotionally, such as making him wear his symbol on his clothes, clone him against his will, and then force him into a seven year coma (seriously, fuck this guy), he points to Watanuki and tells him that his existence will cause suffering for all around him, and that he is nothing but a symbol of distorted time and space. Moreover, that he doesn’t have a right to exist. Fei Wang might literally be the worst person in existence. But Yuuko tells him not to listen and that he will meet people who will accept him and keep him alive. Syaoran uses every bit of strength he has to reach out to Watanuki and tell him “Do not vanish!”, urging him to stay alive and fight to exist. Watanuki’s eyes open, and the very first thing he sees is Syaoran reaching out to him before he vanishes. This wish Syaoran leaves with him will echo through his being and will impact him in ways we don’t even fully see throughout XXXHolic. We know that Watanuki later wants to help Syaoran so desperately that he actually pays a price of his memories (this takes place before the events of the XXXHolic manga, so it is not ever shown, only stated to have happened) just to help Syaoran and the others get to Clow country, and it is here that the final arc begins.

THE CUT OFF TIME

With Watanuki’s memories as the price, Syaoran and the others are able to be granted their wish to travel to the Kingdom of Clow after the events in Japan (Kurogane’s world), however Yuuko mentions that where they are going is a space cut off from time and not simple to get to. Mokona asks when they arrive (poor thing is totally exhausted by the effort it took to get there) what it means for something to be cut off from time, and Fai explains that he himself isn’t entirely sure, but that it might mean that time’s stopped somehow. The group meets a family in the town, and there is a young boy carrying apples who takes them to his home for a place to stay. Tbe group is on edge understandably, as everything seems to be perfectly ordinary, but there must be something wrong here.

They go to sleep and when they awake, it appears there is already something odd. The mother letting them stay in their home had promised to make breakfast for them in the morning, but there was no food or people in sight. Worried that something happened to them, they exit the home and the family runs into them again on the street, repeating the exact same words and actions they had when they first met, as if they did not recognize them at all. They play along, obviously suspicious of the events playing out exactly the same as they had yesterday. Even odder is that when they left the house before, it had already been near sunset, meaning that the day that was repeating was not even a full day. Fai suggests they hold out for one more day to test the theory and find out if tomorrow is any longer in length. While Fai and Kurogane talk in the other room, Syaoran stays up to try and see if he can determine at what time the day starts over, but he doesn’t have to wait long before his vision goes blurry, and he falls unconscious without warning.

When they all awake, they find that the day is moving exactly the same way it had the previous two days. The people of Clow are forced to repeat the same day over and over with no movement forward. It is a sad existence, but what seems even more concerning is that the amount of people appears to be decreasing. Syaoran then decides to ask the question of what festival is being celebrated in particular, as this was a topic brought up each day, and it is revealed that the festival is to celebrate Sakura’s 7th birthday. This piece of information leads Syaoran to fully understand the situation, but before he can divulge this to the others, the mother who had taken them in the previous days melts before their very eyes. Her son seems to be completely unaware and is still smiling.

People one by one around them also melt, but no one is reacting in horror except for Syaoran, Fai, Kurogane, and Mokona. Syaoran recognizes what is occurring and explains to the others that they have been living in a single day over and over again without change, and their appearance and questions changed things. They are confirmed to not be illusions, but real people who are dying before them as a result of the distortion they are causing just by being there. This enrages Syaoran, because he knows that Fei Wang has put them in this position and is forcing them to forsake human lives in order to continue.

Syaoran realizes that he has no choice but to continue onwards, no matter how painful it is to do so, and insists they must go to the ruins immediately. This proves to be much more emotionally difficult than expected as the young boy they had met starts to melt himself, repeatedly saying “Come stay with us!”. More and more people begin to melt, and Syaoran takes the boy’s hands, looking absolutely agonized about what he must do, but he understands that being in a time where one cannot move forward is the same as being dead. They are already dead. Despite this, he still feels immense guilt and embraces the boy, apologizing to him and taking all of the blame onto himself, stating that there is no justification for what he is doing. Surely he is still hearing Fei Wang’s words in his mind when he told him “You will only be able to watch the paths unfold that you, yourself distorted”.

Fai senses his distress and touches his hand, and Kurogane pitches in to tell him that if he is guilty, then he himself is just as guilty too. Fai and Mokona also share the blame with him, and these words are incredibly meaningful to Syaoran. He has always taken all of the burden on himself, but now he has companions who are willing to share this with him. He is no longer alone.

They make their way to the ruins, and Syaoran predicts that time will be frozen within the ruins on “that day”. He is correct, and time is stopped inside on the moment that Sakura on her seventh birthday had been cursed, just before he had hesitated to grab her hand. It is at this point when Syaoran tells the group everything about his past, and it becomes clear that this moment in time was cut off from time and space so that Syaoran could take Sakura’s hand. After all, the prices he paid to turn back time to this very moment would be worthless if he was unable to come back.

But him telling his story to the group was not just to explain the stopped time in this place. He was carrying even more guilt and expressed that his wish likely changed their courses as well, resulting in the unfortunate circumstances that happened in all of their pasts, such as Fai being born a twin and Kurogane’s mother and father being murdered. It becomes clear that Fei Wang’s words really have impacted him when he says “Back then, Fei Wang said something. He said ‘it’s the same as if you had done it yourself’”, and as a result of those words, he had been taking the responsibility for literally every bad thing that had occurred since (that manipulation is really rearing its head now). Syaoran asks them to make a choice as to what they will do now, effectively asking them if they wish to stay with him or not, or even worse….take out their anger on him. He is prepared to take on any punishment they deem worthy.

He looks pained and closes his eyes, prepared for the worst, and Kurogane reaches out, seemingly to strike him, but instead gives him a little knock on the head; his way of showing affection. Fai similarly shows affection by cupping his face and explains that they have decided to stay with him and that seeing Syaoran’s distressed face made Kurogane grouchy. Fai then assures Syaoran that although he did break a taboo, he cannot possibly take responsibility for everything that happened afterwards, and to even try to was actually arrogant. Kurogane backs Fai up by stating that had he been in his shoes, he would have chosen the exact same thing. No one blames him for the choices he made or even the potential consequences that occurred as a result, and they thank him for coming forward and telling them as it must have been painful to do so. I can only imagine that Syaoran had been imagining this conversation the entire time while travelling with them, and he probably thought they would beat him or leave him once they knew the truth. Knowing now that that was not the case must have been an enormous weight off his shoulders, and he finally has a feeling of belonging. He had just told these people his darkest secrets and biggest mistakes, and they accept him exactly as he is. This moment here is what brings them closer together and leads Syaoran to become much more vulnerable and honest with them in the future. And while he has this very profound moment of belonging, he prays that Watanuki is feeling the same with people who accept him and care for him just as he is.

THE DECISION TO MOVE FORWARD

Fei Wang can tell that Syaoran is emboldened now by the support of his companions, and he has made a decision to continue forward and take the hand he could not before. However, despite Fei Wang wanting this to occur, he is not going to make it easy for him. Clone Syaoran appears (I will call him C!Syaoran from here on out to differentiate them), appearing no different emotionally after his last appearance in which he accidentally stabbed Sakura’s soul. Kurogane and Fai instantly move in front of Syaoran to protect him and asks Mokona to take a step back for her safety. Even more than that, Fai tells her to take care of Syaoran if something happens, meaning that Fai is not entirely sure they will make it out alive in this battle. Mokona tells them that they are all going to get through this together and steps back.

A portal opens behind C!Syaoran, revealing Fei Wang. This naturally infuriates everyone as he has done unspeakably cruel actions to all of them and many others. He is undoubtedly someone evil who needs to be stopped. Fei Wang wastes zero time trying to manipulate Syaoran once again by rubbing in how this moment is ‘burned into his regrets’. He tells him that he has warped space and time to wind back time to this moment, and that this cut off time he created has been essentially abandoned by the laws of the universe. He insists that Syaoran must have known the damage that would be caused as a result but that he chose not to stop. Fei Wang implies that Syaoran is no different from himself, stomping on the wishes of others to fulfill his own wish. And THANK GOD Kurogane silences him by throwing an attack his way and telling him very directly to shut the hell up. Kurogane is so 1000% done with Fei Wang’s shit and won’t allow him to manipulate Syaoran any further. He even manages to land a scratch on his hand!

Kurogane tells Fei Wang to come out and face him, but it seems clear that he won’t do so. They are prepared to fight and do everything they can to get to Fei Wang, but in the meantime, Fai imparts on Syaoran some valuable advice. He tells him that there is no way to know what the future will hold as a result of our choices, and that there is no point thinking about it. Instead, we should act on what we can do and according to our own will, and that this is the very opposite of running away. He implores Syaoran to think about what it is he wants to do now, and Syaoran responds very simply that he will not let Sakura die. This is one belief that has always held true, and knowing this, he will do whatever it takes to keep her from dying.

Syaoran has made his choice to move forward, and C!Syaoran turns, seeming to have made a choice of his own. There is unfinished business between the clone and the original that needs to be concluded before they can move forward.

THE SACRIFICE

While Kurogane and Fai are taking on the minions Fei Wang created from stolen souls from the XXXHolic world and willingly sacrifices (this fucker knows no bounds), Syaoran is fighting C!Syaoran. The battle proves to immediately become extremely difficult for Syaoran, and he is struggling to hold up against C!Syaoran’s enormous magical energy. It appears that he has grown even stronger since their last battle, and Syaoran had undoubtedly lost that one before. It doesn’t look good at all, and in his frustration, Syaoran confronts him about Sakura’s death, asking if that had really meant nothing at all to him. C!Syaoran doesn’t react to this and keeps attacking, blowing very easily through all of Syaoran’s defenses.

Syaoran is having difficulty even just getting up off the floor, and even after engulfing C!Syaoran in flames, he quite easily dissipates it. Fei Wang elaborates that the clone has been using magic constantly in the many worlds he has traveled to, and as a result has grown much stronger. Moments later, Syaoran is disarmed and pinned to the ground by C!Syaoran’s foot. It’s a desperate situation, but Fei Wang ensures that Fai and Kurogane are unable to interfere as he summons more soldiers to get in their way. Despite this, they fight hard and are desperate to get to the boy before it is too late. C!Syaoran mutters that he will do what he must before he thrusts the sword downwards.

A silhouette of blood spurts out from what appears to have been a brutal stabbing. Fai and Kurogane are furious and barrel their way through soldiers to try and get to Syaoran. Before they can reach them, C!Syaoran unleashes a massive blast of magic energy that doesn’t just take out Fai and Kurogane temporarily, but also takes out every soldier that Fei Wang unleashed. Fei Wang seems more amused by this and remarks at the usefulness of his magic. C!Syaoran then grabs Syaoran by his cloak and whispers something into his ear. It’s unclear what is said to him, but he then hoists him up and begins to drag Syaoran’s limp body towards Fei Wang.

Fei Wang comments on how even dead, Syaoran’s body is worth using and that if the clone were to perish, he’d only need to transfer the soul of the clone into the original’s body. This further illustrates his absolute lack of respect for human life. Everything is just a chess piece to him in his plan. Even while standing right in front of C!Syaoran, he speaks of how he intends to use the clone until he is ‘ground into dust’. It’s in this moment that he seems to break the thin, film like barrier that was separating him from the other world, and he is now exposed. The mage holds out his hand, waiting for C!Syaoran to hand over Syaoran, and Kurogane and Fai are not about to let that happen. They rise to their feet despite their injuries, and Kurogane even goes as far as to rip off his own mechanical arm to do so.

But the joke is on Fei Wang when Syaoran reveals that he is in fact not dead and stabs his sword right into his torso (fuck yeah!). Everyone is shocked, naturally, but none more so than Fei Wang. He quickly deduces after seeing the stab wound in C!Syaoran’s foot that he had actually stabbed into himself to create the illusion of killing Syaoran and trick him. It seems implied that when C!Syaoran whispered in Syaoran’s ear, he was letting him know about the plan and telling him to pretend to be dead until they could get close enough to make a move.

This plan turned out to be quite brilliant and not only managed to injure and surprise Fei Wang, but also exposed him for further attack. He got him to come out of his safe place, and he also even killed all the soldiers Fei Wang summoned without drawing any suspicion. Unfortunately, the advantage didn’t last long, and in his rage, Fei Wong brings forth a sword and lunges at Syaoran. He has no time to react and seems doomed…but at the last second, someone pulls him out of the way and places themselves between Syaoran and the sword. That person is unfortunately C!Syaoran.

Syaoran is completely stunned. Not only did he just help him get close to Fei Wang for an attack, but he had now sacrificed himself for him; a person who up until a short period of time ago was believed to still have no heart. Despite having a massive blade through his chest, C!Syaoran keeps a calm gaze and keeps his eyes on Syaoran. Without looking back even once, his hand outstretches, and he begins weaving magic to forcefully pull open the dimensional portal leading to Fei Wang.

Fei Wang is furious about this insubordination, and in his retaliation, he pulls the sword roughly from C!Syaoran’s body, irrevocably damaging him. The blood pours out and Syaoran seems to cry out in horror. Although injured himself, Fei Wang is still on his feet and prepares to fire another attack at them, which is swiftly blocked by a spell of Syaoran’s own.

Syaoran is confused and seems to still be grappling with the situation. He asks his clone why he sacrificed himself, and C!Syaoran explains that he wanted to know what words Sakura had intended to say next. This is heartbreaking, because we all know the next words were going to be ‘I love you..’, but she had disappeared before getting to say it. C!Syaoran chose to sacrifice himself in the same way Sakura did, all so that he could see her again and hear her say those words that would mean everything to him. It’s clear that her death did affect him, and when he looked at Syaoran before their last battle and stated that it ‘would end today’…he was very likely referring to himself. It was his intention to die that day, because without Sakura, what did he have left to live for? I don’t think this act was impulsive, and I’m sure he knew the moment he retaliated against Fei Wang that he would certainly kill him for it.

C!Syaoran finally collapses, but before he strikes the ground, Syaoran catches him and cradles him as he coughs blood and seems to struggle to breathe. In his last moments, he releases a blue gem from his right eye, containing the feathers he’s collected for Sakura as well as Fai’s magic. With his last breath, he mutters Kurogane, Fai, Mokona, and Sakura’s names, but much to Syaoran’s surprise, he also calls out his. He gently touches Syaoran’s arm and says ‘I’m sorry…and thank…you’ before his body shatters into many pieces of glass, symbolizing the mirror he had been born from. This moment is so meaningful because he says the words they all needed to hear from him so badly, but it is that much more painful because it is too late. He finally grew a heart and seemed to return to himself, but now he was gone. And for Syaoran, this hurts perhaps the worst for him, because he moreso than anyone wanted to save him. He watched his whole life through his eyes and cared about him deeply, and to be acknowledged as his own person by him in that final moment was heartwrenching. When Syaoran had his first conversation with Mokona in Acid Tokyo, Mokona could tell right away with her powers of empathy that Syaoran had wanted to travel together with all of them, including C!Syaoran. And now that dream had literally shattered in his arms.

PAYBACK (?)

Syaoran is devastated and holding what remains of his clone in his protective barrier of wind magic. He allows Fai and Kurogane to enter, and they are able to hear the remnants of C!Syaoran’s last words.

Fai holds the gem containing the magic C!Syaoran left behind and Kurogane grips Hien, the sword that he had trained C!Syaoran how to use. The two visibly grieve his loss, and Kurogane is frustrated that he had the strength to apologize, but not to stay alive. Fai accepts the magic back into his body, his eye returning to its previous state. He can tell that his magic is stronger than before, and that C!Syaoran had purposely used it as much as he could so that he could return it stronger than it was to Fai. However, Fai comments that he much rather would have had C!Syaoran return to them instead of having his magic back.

Syaoran rises to his feet, his face seeming calm on the outside, but it is clear that there is a burning rage on the inside. Kurogane can recognize it too and hands him Hien. It’s only fitting that Syaoran use it now, and the group immediately gets to work on getting their revenge on Fei Wang.

Fai works a spell to further open up the portal leading to Fei Wang. Kurogane and Syaoran charge forward with deadly intent, and while Syaoran distracts Fei Wang, Kurogane goes in for what seems like the killing blow. He is seemingly sliced in half until it is revealed that it was an illusion, and he had used his henchman Kyle as a human shield. Poor Kyle unfortunately was not notified of the plan, and it appears that Fei Wang had instructed him to stand in that exact spot at that exact moment, setting him up to take the kill for him. Fei Wang smirks from the mirror just behind Kyle and holds Sakura’s soulless body, claiming that he ‘allowed’ Kyle to stay alive as long as he did, but ultimately, he too was a failure, even as a body double (THE FUCKIN’ NERVVVVEEEEE).

Syaoran shares my personal rage and is 1,000,000% done with Fei Wang’s disregard for living creatures and shouts his name with four whole exclamation points (!!!!), visibly expressing his very visceral anger.

REDEMPTION

After so brutally killing C!Syaoran and then allowing Kyle to die for him, Fei Want states that one can’t expect much from man made things (he’s also in a way insulting C!Syaoran saying this), but then claims ‘the real thing is something else entirely’ as he strokes Sakura’s face (so creepy!). Syaoran certainly doesn’t stand for this and goes in for an attack.

However, as he does, Sakura’s body (the body of the Clone Sakura whose soul and body was separated in Infinity after being stabbed by Fai) floats up into the air, and Fei Wang states that ‘it’s beginning’. What he means, is that his wish is starting to come to fruition. The once frozen time around them begins to move forward, reacting to Sakura’s body nearby, and the black mass surrounding the young Sakura from the 7th birthday incident starts to swallow her slowly once again.

Syaoran is now forced to either go after Sakura’s body or to take the hand of the young princess he could not save all those years ago. Kurogane and Fai insist he go to the young Sakura and that he had been waiting all this time and suffered so much for this moment. Kurogane and Fai step forward, intending to handle the situation regarding the other Sakura and to try and stop Fei Wang, but it is clear which Sakura Syaoran must go to. He runs out of the portal and back into the frozen space that is beginning to move. He is having difficulty moving himself, but he refuses to give up and fights with all his power to get to her hand. He had to take her hand this time, and Fei Wang seems eager for him to take it. He wants Syaoran to do this.

While he struggles, Mokona suddenly senses a feather nearby, but she is confused as there shouldn’t be any feathers here that she is aware of. Fei Wang is amused by this and explains that at one time it was true that there was no feather here, but the rules of the universe had slowly begun to crumble during their journey to different worlds, and that their journey even impacted the future of some, such as the country of Shara. However, he gets to the point of this by leading them to the realization that the Country of Clow is also a result of a future they altered. Upon realizing some common attributes, they soon come to understand that the country of Clow is in fact the future of Acid Tokyo. The ruins are where the Metropolitan Government building once stood (the building where C!Syaoran lost his heart), and the pool of water within the ruins is the water that was protected by the feather Sakura left behind. This is also why the water protected Sakura when Fei Wang cursed her on her 7th birthday; because her feather had protected it and kept it pure for many many years. The country of Clow exists because of Sakura’s feather.

The feather emerges from the water, and it’s this feather in particular that is special. It has spanned dimensions and time, and so when this feather returns to Sakura’s body, this seems to be one of the final pieces required to set in motion Fei Wang’s wish. Everyone seems to be frozen in place, and Fei Wang monologues about how Sakura’s body has been engraved with the memories of many worlds and dimensions, and the feather she just received has unparalleled power that will ‘tear apart the bonds that connect the dimensions to one another’. Fei Wang is effectively trying to break the universe’s rules entirely, because by doing so, he hopes to also break the most cardinal rule that ‘the dead cannot come back to life’.

Sakura’s body sprouts wings, and we can see that this is already making an effect on the worlds they have visited as a dangerous distorted looking swirl is filling the skyr, mimicking what they are seeing in their cut off time. The very world around them seems to be shattering to pieces like glass, but despite the chaos happening, Syaoran is still fighting to take the young Sakura’s hand. Kurogane and Fai attempt to stop Fei Wang, but are blasted back by magic. Syaoran looks over to them with worry, temporarily distracted. Certainly, he wants to help them, but they cry out to him, as if to tell him not to give up and not worry about them. Syaoran clenches his fist in renewed determination and grows closer to her hand. It seems there is little of the world left around him as it shatters, but just as Kurogane and Fai land a blow on Fei Wang, Syaoran finally takes Sakura’s hand.

THE FINAL CHAIN

Syaoran holds the young Sakura close, cherishing the moment he was able to redeem. However, it appears Fei Wang is pleased by this, and he states that by grabbing her hand, the final link in the chain was broken. He had gone to the very point of death and changed the future. The choice he made called to ‘one who was stopped one step from the edge of death’ (Clone Sakura when she was stabbed by Fai) and also calls to ‘one who stopped within an instant’s time’ (young Sakura). The two fuse together, and Fei Wang states that this fusion “calls that person (Yuuko) back”.

From her own world, Yuuko falls to her knees. She claims that the dream must remain a dream, and that the ones who started it must finish it. This is directed towards Fei Wang, and she wants him to give up on this impossible wish. But she also mentions Clow’s name, because along with Yuuko were the ones who started this.

Fai remarks at how both Sakura’s had incredibly strong power all on their own, but together would be unspeakably powerful. Fei Wang explains that he had gathered souls (this was done via the wing creatures in XXXHolic), and he had tried to place them in nearly identical bodies, but they all turned out to be ‘failures’. But this time, he managed to obtain an empty vessel with memories of many dimensions (Sakura’s body), a feather that had spanned many eons of time within water, and the true Sakura (young Sakura) who is able to accept both of these things into herself. They were all gathered together into one ridiculously powerful being.

Fei Wang states how Clow Reed once attempted this same wish to revive someone back from the dead, but that he had failed. He also mentions that like Sakura, Clow placed the person he wanted to save in a cut off time separated from dimensions. It is revealed at this point that Yuuko is the one that Clow wanted to revive. The light that was enveloping this fused Sakura begins to vanish, seemingly transferring to Yuuko. It appears that Fei Wang is trying to sap this Sakura entirely of her power and life for the sake of reviving Yuuko.

The group moves to try and stop this process, but Fei Wang is not having it and strikes all of them with magic, insisting they will not interfere. He is too close to his wish being fulfilled to let it be stopped now, and he is almost mad with excitement. He is obsessed with surpassing Clow. Syaoran cries out Sakura’s name due to the grim situation,, but elsewhere, Yuuko refuses to let this happen and states that this dream cannot be fulfilled by anyone.

THOSE WHO WAITED

In her shop, she gazes down at what seems to be a little glass tube, the same tube we see Sakura and Syaoran trapped in on the very first page of the manga. As she looks upon this magical artifact, she claims that many people in many places, and for many reasons have all waited for this time. Among the objects in her shop and within this artifact are two souls that she has kept concealed and protected until this moment. The two she refers to are the Syaoran and Sakura that are “Syaoran’s” parents. After he left for Clow country, they used their powerful magic to turn back time on their bodies and paid a price of distancing themselves not just from their own children (Syaoran and Watanuki), but from themselves as well. Like Syaoran paid the price of his freedom and time, they did the same by being trapped in this artifact and being unable to touch or hear each other behind a thin glass wall for many years. But they willingly did this for the ones they love and specifically “two futures”.

Yuuko states that her time has begun to move again, just like the young Sakura’s in the cut off time. She is between the threshold of life and death as someone who should have died long ago, and because of this new change in events, she can now effectively send Syaoran’s parents to the others through dreams. The glass artifact breaks, and Yuuko’s magic circle appears in the cutoff time in Clow Country. Everyone, including Fei Wang, is incredibly surprised when another Syaoran and Sakura appear: “Syaoran’s” parents who had sent him on his journey.

Syaoran looks all around him at his father behind him and his mother in front of him. He recognizes them immediately, but he also spots Watanuki standing off to the side nearby. The panels are all black behind them, indicating that they are currently in a dream, which makes sense as Yuuko had used this method to transport M!Sakura and D!Syaoran (I will use this from now on to help differentiate, but the M! Stands for Mom and the D! Stands for Dad. Haha).. Watanuki has also developed in XXXHolic the ability to enter dreams as a dreamseer, so it makes sense for him to be there (he seems to have inherited this from his mama! <3).

Despite Watanuki having no memories of his past (Watanuki mentions in XXXHolic how he doesn’t even remember his parents faces or names), he seems to find M!Sakura and D!Syaoran familiar, The parents both look at him, and M!Sakura looks first to Syaoran, then to Watanuki before smiling and saying “everything will be all right”. This is beautiful as this is CCS Sakura’s invincible spell, and we learn that M!Sakura did not create this phrase on her own but rather learned it directly from CCS Sakura herself via a dream.

REWRITING THE UNIVERSE

They no longer appear to be in a dream anymore as Watanuki is no longer beside them and the black background disappears, but M!Sakura and D!Syaoran remain. Yuuko’s magic to transport them to the other world via a dream was successful, and D!Syaoran seems ready to get straight to business. He says very seriously that they have to “ensure that they can choose their future”, and their respective magic circles appear beneath M!Sakura and D!Syaoran. Syaoran tries to move forward to grab onto Sakura but is held back by his father, and M!Sakura grabs onto her instead. The magic is strong and easy to be swept away in, and Fai wastes no time creating some magical protection himself for him, Kurogane, and Mokona.

The entire world is enveloped in massive magic circles, and Mokona asks what is happening. It’s clear something big is occurring, but she is not sure what it is. Fai very firmly advises them not to leave the bubble he created to protect them. M!Sakura and D!Syaoran are rewriting the laws of the universe and trying to repair them, and with such high level magic changing everything around them, there is no telling what would happen if they leave the protection of the barrier. Fei Wang is furious and prepares to attack them. M!Sakura and D!Syaoran defiantly tell Fei Wang they will not let him destroy these worlds.

The broken shards of the world of Clow country they saw before start to piece back together, and M!Sakura and D!Syaoran are incredibly focused as they pour all of their magic power into this task. It’s not an easy one, and Fai is absolutely floored at how strong the two are. Sweat drips down their face, displaying the physical toll this sort of spell is putting on them. When asked if they can do it, Fai explains they are certainly powerful, but he is questioning how they managed to remain hidden like they were if they were capable. Magic that strong would be able to be felt from even another dimension, and it seems this is the major reason why they had chosen to turn back time and hide themselves in the artifact in Yuuko’s shop. By being in that place, it kept them hidden from Fei Wang so that he wouldn’t be alerted to their plans. In fact, they had actually done quite a bit not just to hide themselves, but to protect Syaoran and Watanuki as well. Watanuki was given the chosen name of ‘Kimihiro’ which means ‘to visit’. This name was given as a promise that they would return to him one day, whereas Watanuki means ‘April 1st’, to symbolize his birthday as well as a old Japanese tradition in which starting from the beginning of April, one would change their winter kimono into a summer kimono by removing the cotton lining.

Additionally, “Syaoran” was given the name he was because in the magical world in the CLAMPverse, knowing one’s true name gives someone access to that person’s soul, and knowing one’s birthday allows them to control someone’s life (from chapter 1 of XXXHolic per Yuuko). This is why when young Syaoran told Yuuko upon their first meeting that his name was “Syaoran Li”, she told him “Your father has taught you well”. Watanuki’s first meeting with Yuuko paralleled this, however she laughed at him for giving his name and birthday to a complete stranger. The fake name of Syaoran was meant to protect him from other magical users, but primarily Fei Wang.

D!Syaoran develops a cut on his arm from the sheer intensity of the magic he’s performing (just to show the gravity of how important it is for him to stay focused), and when Syaoran shouts with worry, D!Syaoran tells him not to lose focus. He reminds him of how when he was a child, he had decided back then that if there was something he needed to do, that he would do it. He had decided not to let Sakura die, and that was a promise he intended to keep. M!Sakura smiles, and D!Syaoran tells him to never lose sight of his wish, and that if he wants it to be fulfilled, he must choose, no matter how painful that choice may be. Essentially, he’s saying “Don’t worry about me, worry about the life you promised to save”. Syaoran seems shocked, and I think he knew to some extent at this point that D!Syaoran was aware of an outcome that Syaoran hadn’t considered.

Just when you thought Fei Wang had finally shut up for a change, he returns to the conversation with a vengeance, shouting that nothing will interfere with his wish. He fires a spell at them while M!Sakura and D!Syaoran are entirely unable to defend themselves while focused on their massive spell. Initially, the blast seems to land, but when the dust clears, Syaoran is revealed as having created a shield to protect him and his parents from the attack. Fei Wang sends another attack in his rage, and Syaoran does his best to defend from it, but is quickly getting overwhelmed. Fai lends some of his own power to try and help, but ultimately, it does no good. Syaoran and his parents are struck, but even Fai is blasted off his feet. D!Syaoran loses his grip on Syaoran, who starts to plummet down to the ground, and Kurogane catches Fai before the same can happen to him. Fortunately, D!Syaoran catches Syaoran’s hand in just the right time, and a magic circle appears underneath everyone to support them. However, the magic circle that appears is not D!Syaoran’s typical circle, but Clow Reed’s! Of all the things to surprise Fei Wang, this is probably the biggest surprise of all, and I personally loved seeing his confused dumbfounded face. He remarks at how it doesn’t just look like Clow’s circle, but actually is Clow’s circle exactly, down to every detail.

He asks how it is that he is able to use it, and Yuuko, being the timely woman she is, appears as an image within the pieces of the world that M!Sakura and D!Syaoran managed to put back together and states that D!Syaoran can use this because Clow himself passed this on to him.

REBORN TOGETHER

Although Yuuko appears to speaking in past tense, the scene happening before her right at that moment is one that directly impacts the future. The glass shards of C!Syaoran’s body join Yuuko in the dream world and form back into full body. He gazes at Yuuko with confusion and asks here where he is. She tells him that he is in the dream world, however he still doesn’t quite understand how he is there in front of her when he was killed not long ago by Fei Wang’s blade. Yuuko confirms that he was indeed killed by Fei Wang, but explains that the reason he is there now is because he is a man-made creation, and as a result, he cannot die but merely vanish.

C!Sakura’s body forms in the dream world as well, and C!Syaoran is advised that she too is the same. Before the two of them vanished completely, they were brought here, and Yuuko also mentions that C!Syaoran’s heart came along with him too, fully confirming that he has indeed developed a heart of his very own. C!Sakura, however, was only a soul without a body when she was killed, so to remedy the lack of a body to return to, Yuuko retrieved the original Sakura’s body that she was cloned from. Unlike with Syaoran, Fei Wang had cloned Sakura’s body and heart, and the process of this unfortunately killed the original. It was too much for the original to withstand, but the body that was left behind is able to serve as a vessel for the clone’s soul now, which is a mirror image of the original. It’s rather depressing to think that the Sakura we saw in the first chapter was technically dead the moment she dropped into that opening in the ruins.

C!Syaoran then asks the million dollar question. Why are they there? Yuuko offers the two of them a choice; a choice of their future. It is explained to them that they are both man-made, so they cannot die. However, for that very reason as well, they are able to be reborn. Naturally, C!Syaoran’s first reaction is to ask what the price would be. To give life to something is an extremely heavy price, and the only equal price for a life is…well, a life. But Yuuko tells them that they no longer have to worry about paying a price, as they have already paid enough in their journey. She explains that the responsibility of this situation squarely lies on her and Clow’s shoulders, as this situation started as a result of them. When Yuuko was moments from death, Clow wished for just a moment that she would open her eyes again. Because Clow’s magic was so enormously powerful, this innocent wish resulted in Yuuko’s time stopping, just like Sakura with Syaoran’s wish to turn back time. Consequentially, Fei Wang then lifted a hand to grant Clow’s wish, starting everything they were dealing with now.

When C!Sakura hears Clow’s name, she addresses him as her father, but Yuuko advises her that when Syaoran turned back time, the lives of those who knew of the death mark were impacted greatly. Nadeshiko, Sakura’s mother, passed away, and Fujitaka, her father, instead became C!Syaoran’s adoptive father. To fill the void of Sakura having no parents, Clow took this place, leaving everything behind (including Kero and Yue. This Clow is indeed the same Clow as CCS and may be the only Clow in existence). He did this to guide them and help them, but more than that, he did it so that when the time came, he could pay the price for C!Syaoran to be reborn. He gave up his very life for the time C!Syaoran would decide. C!Syaoran is stunned by this, because this means a man he really didn’t know well gave up his very life and magic for him, all so he could have another chance.

Yuuko gazes to C!Sakura and tells her that she will pay her price. When asked why, Yuuko replies that the warped world they are currently in is the first one. Time is stopped to have kept her from dying due to Clow’s inadvertent wish, thus she is a being that should no longer be alive anyways. Yuuko was meant to die many many years ago, and there is no need for C!Sakura and C!Syaoran to pay anymore prices after having suffered so much. Their originals, Syaoran and Sakura, have also suffered far too much.

With the price being laid out and ready to be paid, Yuuko explains to them what being reborn will actually mean for them. If they are reborn, they will retain all of their memories, including the painful ones. Additionally, they will once again head towards “this time”. C!Syaoran doesn’t quite understand what she means by this, and Yuuko tells them that time is no longer flowing in one direction and that the past, present, and future are all twisted up and mixed as a result of the rules of the universe broken by Fei Wang. Despite this being broken, there is one thing that still remains true, and that is that their choices in the present can affect both the past and the future. They may be reborn and live a new life, but they will meet their other selves somewhere along the way, and the ones who will decide what happens at that point will be them.

C!Syaoran looks at Sakura with a pained expression and talks about how has hurt so many people, including Sakura. Yuuko tries to console him by telling him that he was acting according to Fei Wang’s will and not his own, but C!Syaoran states that even despite this, it was his hands that did it. He is so haunted by these memories of the horrendous things he did while missing his heart, that he seems to be hesitant to start over in a new life. But C!Sakura speaks up and tells him that if what he did is considered a crim, that she would like to accept the punishment with him. In a beautiful declaration, she tells him that she will take on any punishment if it means she gets to live a life with him (-weeps-). C!Syaoran, although surely not wanting C!Sakura to suffer on his behalf, sees her desperate pleading in her eyes and takes her hand. The choice has been made, and Yuuko and Clow’s circles appear beneath them.

Before they can even ask, Yuuko lets them know that when they are reborn, it will be in the same world, at the same time, and they will meet each other again. Knowint that they are sure to see each once again and will have a life together, C!Sakura finally confesses her feelings to C!Syaoran and tells him she loves him. She is finally able to say the words she wanted to say before she passed, and C!Syaoran gets to hear the words he died to hear. C!Syaoran tells her that he loves her too, and the two of them are wrapped in wings before they disappear from the dream world.

Now that the prices have been paid, the stopped time in Yuuko’s dream world begins to move again, the blackness starts to consume her body to finally end the life that should have been gone long ago. In her final moments, she wishes for their happiness, and in XXXHolic, this is when she has her final conversation with Watanuki.

TIMES OF HAPPINESS

In the future, the reborn C!Sakura is standing under a sakura tree in Hong Kong. Her school had a school trip to this place, and C!Sakura explains to her classmates that she this is her first time out of Japan. However, she has always wanted to travel because there is someone she wants to meet. We all know this to be C!Syaoran, and fortunately for her, C!Syaoran arrives only moments later, who just happens to be walking down some nearby steps. The moment they see each other, C!Sakura is brought to tears, and C!Syaoran smiles warmly at her. The two embrace, and they had always believed they would eventually find each other.

Flash forward several years later, C!Sakura is sitting on a luxurious bed, holding a small baby in her arms. C!Syaoran steps inside and C!Sakura apologizes for having worried him, stating the baby and her are all right now. It seems that she had a difficult birth; one that lead C!Syaoran to fear he would lose her again, but she assures him that she will never leave him behind. They have an incredibly precious moment holding their child together.

C!Sakura tells C!Syaoran about how his mother remarked about the baby looking just like him when he was a baby, but it appears that there is more reason for that than just genetics. This child isn’t just their child but C!Syaoran original, Syaoran. They reflect on the words Yuuko had said to them long ago about how they would meet their other selves eventually in their reborn life, but this also reminds them that they are once again heading towards “that time” (trademark CLAMP. Lol. They really love that phrase). C!Syaoran embraces C!Sakura and their child, stating that he will protect them both despite this, no matter what. C!Sakura smiles, seeming to have some comfort in this.

Several years later, we see a six year old Syaoran telling his mother about the training session he had with his father earlier that morning. He seems to be enjoying these times, and C!Sakura wraps her arms around him. Syaoran is a bit confused by the sudden show of affection, but she tells him that she is simply so happy that he was born her son. While she holds him, she and C!Syaoran exchange serious glances before she sends Syaoran off to collect herbs for tea. C!Syaoran wonders if he’ll have a chance to train Syaoran tomorrow,

He has sensed that something serious has happened, and C!Sakura advises him that she has had a dream. In the dream, she saw Syaoran and Sakura in a glass tunnel (the artifact), separated by a glass wall. When asked if there is any chance of changing it, C!Sakura says that Syaoran’s existence as their child should be an impossibility, but time is repeating in a circle, resulting in the past events repeating once again. C!Sakura goes on to explain that there was only one dream she had that showed a different future than the life they experienced, which means it is the only way out of the endless circle. If they continue in this path, Sakura and Syaoran will be separated from each other at the end, and after all the suffering they know he will endure, they cannot bear to think of it all ending in that way. So in order to prevent this from happening and help to break the cycle, they instead place themselves in the artifact. They are able to do this, because they too are “Sakura” and “Syaoran”.

It seems like such a grim prospect, but C!Sakura tells C!Syaoran about her other dream, where she met a version of herself from another world who told her that everything will be all right, because they have people they love, and their happiness comes from them (even in cameo version, CCS Sakura is an absolute blessing). C!Sakura goes on to say that her happiness was being born in this world and being able to live alongside him, as well as having their son. C!Syaoran shares the exact same sentiment, and he repeats himself again in his desire to protect both C!Sakura and their son. He also tells her that even if they are separated again, he will most definitely find her.

Shortly after this conversation, perhaps the very same day, C!Syaoran gave young Syaoran both his sword and his name. Later, they arrange to have Touya and Yukito (the ones in their world) to receive a letter, requesting them to drop off the artifact they will place themselves within to Yuuko for protection, as well as the price to help Syaoran travel to Clow. C!Syaoran unravels the artifact from a piece of fabric it was contained in within the Li clan vault. He states that there was a message that came with it from Clow himself wanting to pass this down to protect him. Because he was born in this world as one of Clow’s descendants, he also was born with magic. With this magic, he can help break the cycle, since not being able to move forward is the same as being dead (something that Syaoran also said in the country of Clow when they began to melt). With that, they extend their arms and use their magic on each other to turn back time and place themselves within the artifact until the moment comes where they can leave. .

THE REUNION and DESPERATION

After it is revealed that Syaoran’s parents are actually the clones reborn, their companions are elated to see them again. Kurogane asks Fai if he knew this all along, and he explains that he had a hunch, but that was about it. In a very Kurogane-like fashion, he tells the clones they can expect a beating like they’ve never seen, and they shouldn’t dare disappear on them again. The clones seemed touched by this before Kurogane moves on to say that Syaoran and the real Sakura better not disappear either without their say so! Syaoran nods in acknowledgement before looking to his mother, then to his father. C!Syaoran reaches forward to wipe the blood from Syaoran’s cheek, his own blood in reality, and cups his face, telling him that regardless of whether he’s his original or his child, the fact that he is precious to him does not change. This is incredibly sweet and likely helped Syaoran to cope with the situation. It simplifies the reality of the situation that they care about each other, and that is all that really matters.

Before Syaoran can reply, Fei Wang ruins the moment by sending a huge blast of magic at them. He has now noticed that his spell is no longer working the way it is supposed to. He cannot find Yuuko’s existence in any world, meaning she has now truly died. He completely loses it, saying that he cannot accept this and that she must be revived. He is obsessed with surpassing Clow, and that him bringing one back to life is the only way for him to prove this. In his hands, he summons the same glass tube that C!Sakura and C!Syaoran had remained trapped in for so long. Fei Wang refuses to be defeated and for all of this to have been for nothing,

He’s gone mad really, and he insists he will turn back time again, but that he won’t pay for the price and will instead take Syaoran’s freedom as the price (again). He also intends on using the princess’s power to find a world in which Yuuko still lives, truly believing that there must be at least still one. Until he finds a version of Yuuko that still exists, he intends on keeping Syaoran and Sakura in his grasp within the artifact, where they will be unable to touch or hear each other’s voices. But he tries to assure them that when their usefulness is at an end, he will kill them (-rolls eyes- how generous).

Fei Wang starts trying to pull Syaoran and Sakura into the tube, but the clones are not having it and fight back. Fei Wang tells them to “know their place” before blasting them apart from their originals and the originals are wrapped up in magic, being absorbed. Fai and Kurogane step in as well, trying their best to attack and stop the man, but it’s no use. Before Syaoran and Sakura can be absorbed into the artifact, C!Syaoran physically shoves Syaoran out of the path, and C!Sakura pulls Sakura away so that they can sacrifice themselves instead. However, Sakura and Syaoran are not going to put up with this either and grab onto them before this happens. Sakura has only just finally woken from her slumber (boy, did she miss out on a lot) and she shouts “No!” before all four of them are taken into the artifact.

TRAPPED

C!Sakura and C!Syaoran are of course surprised and upset about their originals being pulled in with them, but Sakura, who appears to be entirely aware of the situation, that by them being taken and separated from them, it would not change the future that she dreamed of. C!Sakura asks her how she knows about that, and Sakura explains that through her moments in stopped time, she saw everything the Clone had been through and watched everything through her eyes, much the same as Syaoran did with C!Syaoran.

On the other side of the tube, C!Syaoran is upset and asks why Syaoran grabbed his hand while knowing that he’d be captured too. Syaoran finally responds to what C!Syaoran said before and tells him that just as C!Syaoran finds him precious, he too finds him precious as well. Sakura shares the same sentiment with her own clone.

Fei Wang is furious, but while he is shouting at the clones particularly for trying to get in his way, Kurogane and Fai are making a plan to break the tube to free them. But the mage has no intention of letting that happen, and all the attacks sent towards the tube are completely ineffective due to small barrier surrounding it. Fei Wang sends an attack in retaliation at them and states that only the one who places items within the artifact can control it, and that it cannot be destroyed without his permission. He is so furious now at the clones, that he also plans to destroy them now, but he won’t just destroy them, but every other version of them that exists in other dimensions as well (talk about petty).

Kurogane and Fai will not let this happen and throw everything they’ve got at him, shouting that he dare not touch them (Go Fai-mommy and Kuro-daddy!). However, they are unfortunately outmatched again and struck by Fei Wang’s magic. They seem badly wounded, but still standing, and the Sakura’s and Syaoran’s are all watching in horror and worry for their friends. The situation seems bleak, but they are not ready to give up. They have the ability to choose their own future, and they choose a future where all of them can live together with their traveling companions.

Determined to escape their prison, all four of them start using their magic. It’s swirling inside the tiny tube, and Fei Wang calls them fools for attempting to escape, and that ‘anyone with magical power’ should know that it is impossible to escape there. But this doesn’t stop them at all. In fact, it emboldens them, and boht Sakura’s sprout a single wing on each side, becoming a pair together. Fei Wang is shocked, knowing full well these wings have the power to surpass dimensions, and they intend to use it to escape. He is now pleading (what a loser) for them not to use it for that and that the power inside them was not placed in them for that purpose. Fei Wang’s plan seems to be quickly falling apart again, and while he’s distracted by this, Kurogane and Fai pick themselves back up and begin fighting once again.

Moreso than just losing valuable tools, Fei Wang explains that if they use that power to leave, the rules of the universe will collapse even further and that it will be irreparable. Moreover, all of the dimensions will be destroyed and their existences will be completely nullified. It’s a huge risk , but despite this they push on, and the Syaoran’s state that moving forward is better than no movement at all, and that if this is what they have to do to do so, then so be it. They believe in their friends and each other, and slowly the artifact begins to crack open. The Sakura’s begin to call for the feathers in the other worlds to return the universe to the state it was in using the engraved memories upon them while Fei Wang continues to beg them not to do it (boohoo).

Kurogane spots his moment, and rushes in during Fei Wang’s moment of vulnerability, delivering the killing blow. He slashes his body, and as he begins to shatter apart in shards, just like C!Syaoran, a black mass begins to swirl around and wrap around the Syaoran’s. As he dies, Fei Wang continues to state that Yuuko needs to be revived, and that it is the whole reason for his existence, all so he that he can deliver a message to her. His monocle falls to the ground with a clash, and the black mass separates the Syaoran’s from the Sakura’s. With his dying breath, Fei Wang grins and says “Syaoran…you and I are the same…you must pay…the price for… your crime”. His body completely crumbles away, but Syaoran and C!Syaoran are pulled in by the blackness as the rest of the universe returns to its previous state. Sakura and C!Sakura cry out for their respective Syaoran’s as they are unable to escape.

THE FINAL PRICE

From the perspective of Syaoran and C!Syaoran, they are now in a dark place with absolutely nothing around them. They are unable to use magic, and we learn later on in Tsubasa World Chronicles that they are in a place called Yomi. While in this place, they are neither living or dead, and it seems that all those with the same existence as Syaoran have been brought to this place, including Watanuki, much to their surprise.

While they explain the situation to poor Watanuki, who knows nothing, in the other world, C!Sakura begins to vanish. Unaware of what is going on out elsewhere, Syaoran is distressed that C!Syaoran and Watanuki were involved in this, when he was the one who made the wish. But C!Syaoran tells him that had he not made his wish, neither he or Watanuki would exist now and have been able to meet the people they care about. They have much to be grateful for, and for that reason, it is important for them to return and leave this place.

They deduce that if they can create the tiniest fissure, they should be able to escape through it, adn right on cue, just as C!Sakura began to vanish on the other side, C!Syaoran starts to do the same. Syaoran and Watanuki are confused and worried, but C!Syaoran explains to them that even though he was reborn, he is still a man-made creature, and when his creator vanishes, he too does the same. He knew this would happen, which is why he had told Syaoran before to not lose focus. This is because he knew that defeating Fei Wang would mean his existence would disappear again, permanently this time.

Syaoran and Watanuki refuse to accept this and provide an example that art lives on far beyond the artist’s lifespans, so why is it that he cannot as well. C!Syaoran addresses this as well and states that he is not just man-made, but also a broken thing that was pieced back together, and as a result of that, he is weaker. Despite knowing that, and even if it meant being punished, he wanted to live his life with Sakura and protect what was most precious to him, which obviously includes his children.

C!Syaoran looks to Watanuki and tells him that he is different from himself, not just in appearance or his name, but rather because he is not man-made, which is why he still stands now. However, whether an existence is man-made or not, when they disappear, they create a ripple in the universe, and that his disappearance now will create the fissure they need to escape. Naturally, Syaoran and Watanuki don’t want things to happen like this and try to grab onto him before he vanishes, but with his last words, C!Syaoran thanks Syaoran for bringing him into existence, even if it was a twisted world he was born into. He completely disappears, and once again, Syaoran has lost C!Syaoran, but now Watanuki is here to share in his pain as well, so fresh after losing Yuuko.

Syaoran pulls out Watanuki’s glasses from his back pocket and hands it to him, and the two decide together to get back to where they belong. I wonder how in the world those managed to remain unbroken considering all the shit he’s been through, and that perhaps is the most confusing aspect of this scene. Lmao. For those of you wondering how Syaoran managed to have Watanuki’s glasses, I do have an explanation for that. Syaoran and Watanuki saw each other in the dream world when C!Syaoran and him had their battle in the Japan arc. Watanuki had his glasses on in one panel before a wind swept up a bunch of cherry blossom petals that resulted in him covering his face to shield himself from the gusts, and then in the next panel, he no longer had them. So they clearly have fallen off in this time, and at some point, Syaoran managed to grab these in the dream world and held onto them since. CLAMP obviously never showed this happening, but this is the most logical explanation for it. I imagine they didn’t explain this outright because they didn’t think it was important enough to do so.

The two decide to escape together using the fissure left behind by C!Syaoran, however it seems that the remnants of Fei Wang’s spirit do not want to allow this (what a surprise, even in death he’s a dick). Black tendrils wrap around them to prevent this from happening, and Watanuki quickly realizes that in order to escape, they have to pay a price. Syaoran is distressed by this, believing there is only one thing he can hand over, which is the feather left behind as all that is left of C!Syaoran, and this is obviously not ideal. Watanuki touches his hand and insists that the price must be equal to the cost of the wish, and that by paying too much, he will cause harm to himself, not just in the physical world, but the world of the stars and heavenly world as well. The feather containing what is left of C!Syaoran is too big a price, so they must come up with a more appropriate price. Watanuki doesn’t know the right answer without Yuuko to guide him, but together, the two of them come up with a price that they think is fair. It must be something precious, or else the value will be too low, and it cannot be too precious either, or else it will be too high. They make their choices, and they are bathed in light. Before Watanuki disappears from Syaoran’s view, he thanks him as well for allowing him to exist.

Syaoran opens his eyes and appears to be back in the country of Clow. Sakura is sobbing and holding C!Sakura’s feather, the same as Syaoran holds C!Syaoran’s. Before C!Sakura vanished, her final words were of hope. She told Sakura that as long as they are both in memory, it isn’t the end. The feathers seem to react then and are absorbed into both of their bodies, the originals and clones effectively becoming one being again. They collapse, but are caught by Kurogane and Fai before they strike the ground. The four of them sit calmly in the water, entirely exhausted by this entire ordeal, but before Syaoran passes out, Kurogane gives him a gentle knock on his head and says that because C!Syaoran wasn’t around to accept his punches, he would take it instead. Syaoran struggles to stay conscious, but Fai tells him to go ahead and sleep, and that they will start from there. Syaoran sheds tears before he slips into unconsciousness and thanks them. It’s over now, but so much was lost.

A NEW JOURNEY

An undetermined amount of time has passed, but it has been only a few days since the final battle. It appears to be the first time since any of them have left the castle since the battle ended, likely due to them needing time to heal from their injuries. Kurogane has perhaps started getting up and moving too soon (dude literally ripped his mechanical arm off), but he is tired of sitting around and wanted to move around. He gets some light teasing from Fai, but they both talk about how Syaoran has gone back to his old home, and though this world likely only noticed him gone for a few days, it has been much, much longer for Syaoran (at least 7 years!).

When Syaroan enters his old home, he finds that the picture that once contained him and his parents no longer contains his parents and appears to be just him standing by an empty chair. This is of course painful for him. Sakura awakes in the castle, having had a dream, and with a determined look on her face, she decides that she needs to go find Syaoran in the city.

Going back to Fai and Kurogane’s conversation, Fai explains that the clones disappeared after Fei Wang was killed, and that they became feathers as a result. Kurogane asks what it means for the feathers to have gone into the originals bodies, and Fai states that one could look at it as simply the images returning to their originals, however he knows that Syaoran doesn’t see it like that at all. Kurogane believes that as well, that Syaoran doesn’t accept that explanation, and Fai expands to say that this is likely why he chose the price he did.

The universe has returned to the way it was, but something that is broken cannot ever be fully repaired. The rules that Fei Wang destroyed are not completely repaired, but unfortunately one of those broken things is Syaoran himself. He is a being that should not exist in the repaired rules of the universe, and because of this, a price had to be paid in order for him to come back to the world (this is also why he was pulled into that place to begin with as the universe was ‘removing’ the anomalies), and Watanuki also had to do the same.

In another scene, we see that Nadeshiko and Fujitaka are both alive and well, back ruling their kingdom (great news!), and Nadeshiko comments that Sakura has had a dream of the future again. We then see Sakura and Syaoran approaching the place where C!Sakura had shown C!Syaoran the birds in their past. It’s an important place, and while they sit there watching the birds fly by again, Syaoran explains his price to Sakura. To escape the place he was in and essentially appease to the universe’s laws and keep existing, he paid a price to keep journeying. Because he is an anomaly that cannot exist under the repaired rules, he must continue to travel without staying in a single place for too long or else the rules will begin to break again. As for Watanuki, he has paid a similar price to avoid his influence on the universe by staying in one place without ever leaving, since he has decided to wait for Yuuko to return.

Kurogane is furious thinking about it because even though Fei Wang is gone, he is still causing the children pain, but Fai prays that Syaoran’s wish will be paid for in full as quickly as possible. While thinking of Fei Wang, Kurogane asks Fai why it was that he broke apart when he killed him and mentions that he knows he struck him. Fai himself states he isn’t entirely sure, but that Fei Wang himself might be a image of somebody else, created from the will of a incredibly strong magician (-cough- Clow Reed -cough-). The general theory here is that Clow wished for Yuuko to open her eyes so strongly, and his magic was so out of control, that he inadvertently stopped Yuuko’s time and created Fei Wang, whose purpose was to bring her back to life so he could deliver an important message. It was likely that Clow Reed wanted her to open her eyes so that he could tell her how he felt, but he never got the chance. Clow Reed did not want this all to happen, so let’s not blame him here. Yes, his innocent wish in a desperate moment of emotion is what was the catalyst to all of this starting, but he did everything in his power to make it right, even going as far as to give up his very life to give C!Syaoran another chance.

Mokona catches up with Kurogane and Fai and tells them that Sakura has gone looking for Syaoran due to a dream she had. The two of them realize at that moment that it is time for them to make their own decision about what to do next. With Syaoran and Sakura, Syaoran tells her that he knows he didn’t just accept C!Syaoran back to himself but that he believes he is still alive inside of him. He believes that C!Syaoran can be revived in a new body, and that he chose to continue traveling so that he can find a way to do this. And when he finds out how, he will ask C!Syaoran to choose what he wishes to do.

Sakura has the same theory and wants the same things, but she knows that she cannot go with him. She had a dream that showed her that if she traveled with him, she would only make the journey more painful for him. She doesn’t want to cause any more pain, but it’s clear that this obviously is very painful for her. Naturally, Sakura doesn’t want to be separated from Syaoran, but now seems like the best time to say what she has been holding in her heart for so long. She starts to speak, but before she can finish, Syaoran pulls her into his arms and says “I love you” (-swoon-). With tears in her eyes, Sakura says the same, and the two of them hold each other.

Fai, Kurogane, and Mokona then reveal themselves to be there during this moment, much to Sakura’s embarrassment (Syaoran seems not worried about it at all. haha). From there, they discuss Syaoran’s journey, and they all make their decisions about what they are going to do. Fai’s is an easy choice, and he decides to travel with him, seeing as he has no world to return to. Additionally, he’s a good cook and can use his magic in full now, so he’ll be very useful. Kurogane decides to travel with him as well, and when questioned about returning to his home, he responds by saying that he already told Tomoyo he would be gone for a while, and that he wants to see C!Sakura and C!Syaoran again so he can give them a good punch! Mokona of course is going along as well, seeing as without her, they really can’t go anywhere, but she does come along with a bonus! Mokona has been holding onto the other Mokona’s earring for quite some time now, and inside of it are precious memories (including Watanuki’s). These memories will allow Syaoran and the others to return to the worlds they have visited before and see the people they met. Additionally, the memories that are strongest are those of Clow and the Japan where Watanuki lives, so those will be the worlds they visit most frequently, ensuring that they will see each other again.

The plans seem to be all made and ready to go, and Sakura says “With everyone by your side..I’m sure you’ll be just fine, right?”. Some time has passed, and the group is ready to start on their new journey. Everyone has come to see them off pray for their safety. Mokona starts to open a portal to the next world, but before they leave, Sakura and Syaoran extend their hands to each other. Before they are separated, they want to tell each other their true names, and at the same time, they tell each other that their true names are Tsubasa. That’s right, folks! Turns out the name of the series title was not related to the actual wings on Sakura’s back at all, but rather to show that this was the story of the ones named ‘Tsubasa’. Leave it to CLAMP to throw us a plot twist on the very last chapter! The name Tsubasa I feel is significant as well as it shows that their meeting truly was destiny, but I also feel like it’s a bit symbolic in its own way. You need two wings to fly, right? The two are both surprised, but they smile at each other before Syaoran (or Tsubasa rather) disappears. Fai and Kurogane waves goodbye as well, and the series ends with Sakura believing that they will most certainly meet again.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Y’all, if any of you actually read this whole thing, I want to sincerely thank you. This took me forever to write, but I felt there were a lot of people out there who were confused, and I really wanted to help alleviate that confusion for people. I understand that a loooot happens in Tsubasa, which is where the wires can get crossed for many, and it’s not necessarily the prettiest plot, but I do think there are answers for every question one might have about this series. For the ones not answered, I think some of it is hidden as easter eggs for diehard CLAMP fans to recognize, or it was likely not addressed because CLAMP thought it not important or felt it was better to be left to the imagination.

I also believe that some questions are left unanswered because they intend to answer them in the future (this is a theory, but TWC being not done brings home hope). If you have questions about TRC that you’ve always wanted answered, shoot me an ask, and I’ll do my best to try and answer it to the best of my ability as a person who has read (at least I think) almost every single CLAMP series now. Reading their other series gives you a really good perspective of Ohkawa’s writing style and what the words mean (even the most subtle and innocent looking ones), but also allows you to see a toooooon of fun easter eggs in Tsubasa particularly. Overall, it’s a beautiful series full of all sorts of beautiful messages, and it will always stand to be one of my favorites. <3

#tsubasa #manga #summary #explanation #ending #chrissy talks a lot #omg this took foreevveerrr #I hope this helps though!!#syaoran #sakura #kurogane #fai #mokona #yuuko #fei wang reed #clamp

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coochiequeens · 1 year

Text

Oh Canada. A nurse who treats women and babies could lose her job because of her activities outside of work after two people, who weren’t even her patients, complained.

For more than two years, Canadian nurse Amy Hamm has been going through an ordeal that can only be described as Kafkaesque.

In November of 2020, Hamm had been informed by the British Columbia College of Nurses and Midwives (BCCNM) that she was under investigation for her “off-duty conduct.”

Two members of the public – neither of whom were Hamm’s patients – had complained, essentially, that she was a “transphobe.”

Despite Hamm’s flawless track record and her history working with transgender patients over the course of her decade-long career, the BCCNM took the random complaints seriously. Six months later, Hamm was sent a document over 300-pages in length detailing dubious “evidence” of her transphobia in the form of her published articles and posts on social media.

Hamm is an advocate for women’s single-sex spaces, and has been involved in the Canadian iteration of the debate around gender ideology – the idea that one’s self-declared “gender identity” is more important than their biological sex. BCCNM took the position that Hamm’s personal views made her unfit to be a nurse.

Hamm’s lawyers described her views to the BCCNM as follows:

“Men are not women. Humans are a dimorphic species. Women and men are biologically different from one another. Women and girls have sex-based rights as a result of those differences. Those rights are under threat. This is the truth. It has always been the truth. Speaking the truth should not be a punishable offense.”

Hamm has written and spoken publicly about gender ideology in addition to organizing large events where this topic can be debated and differing perspectives can be heard. While she had been doing this for almost 7 years, what eventually triggered the two complaints against Hamm was her involvement in erecting a billboard in Vancouver that simply said “I [heart] JK Rowling.”

The billboard didn’t last long, and was vandalized repeatedly in its short time being up on Hastings Street.

For this, she was put at risk of losing her nursing license and her livelihood on the charge that she has made discriminatory and derogatory statements regarding transgender people while identifying herself as a nurse.

Initially, her disciplinary hearing, which is taking place over video, was scheduled for May 30 through June 3, 2022. However, it quickly ballooned to an expected seven days and was rescheduled for September 21-23 and October 24-27, 2022.

After the first seven days, four more days were subsequently added the week of January 10. The fourth day in January was canceled when it became obvious that the hearing was nowhere near completion, and it was decided that another eight days would be added.

Those dates have not yet been scheduled, but one wonders if even the added days will be sufficient to conclude what has so far been a demonstration of the ideological capture of the BCCNM.

It all kicked off on day one when BCCNM legal counsel Michael Seaborn (who displays he/him pronouns next to his name, like the rest of the BCCNM legal team) declared that insisting there are only two sexes denies the very existence of transgender people.

The BCCNM contends that, as a regulated professional, Hamm is not allowed to make such basic, factually accurate statements.

The next day, the BCCNM called on its first expert witness, Dr. Elizabeth Saewyc, who is the Director of the University of British Columbia School of Nursing and a member of the World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH), which recently decided that a man who castrates himself as part of a sexual fetish is a gender identity.

One of the highlights of Saewyc’s testimony was when she had great trouble (or, at least, pretended to have great trouble) understanding that lesbians are females attracted to other females. In fact, she opined that it might be transphobic for a lesbian to openly state her exclusive interest in other females.

The next witness for the BCCNM was Dr. Greta Bauer, a Professor of Epidemiology and Biostatistics at the Schulich School of Medicine and Dentistry at the University of Western Ontario. Bauer is also a member of WPATH.

Bauer continued to present ludicrous ideas about sex and gender identity as if they were universally accepted and unquestioned.

She spoke confidently about toddlers having gender identities and people changing sex over the course of their life. At the same time, she was unable to define terms like “gender,” “sex,” “women,” and “female.”

At one point, Lisa Bildy, legal counsel for Hamm, put to Bauer a definition of “female,” coined by biologist Heather Heying, that accounts for all possible caveats: “Females are individuals who do or did or will or would, but for developmental or genetic anomalies, produce eggs.”

Bauer could not agree with this definition. When Bildy pressed further, legal counsel for BCCNM Barbara Findley objected, claiming that the definition of “female” was outside of the scope of Bauer’s expertise.

Like Saewyc, Bauer did not agree that lesbians are females who are exclusively attracted to other females. She said that lesbians should examine why they are not attracted to men who identify as women and likened sexual orientation to sexual racial preferences.

Bauer also dismissed concerns about the potential harms of placing trans-identified male prisoners, many of them sex offenders, into women’s prisons. She hand-waved away the suggestion that this situation may create an unacceptable level of risk by saying that “cisgender” women assault each other in prison as well.

On the topic of gender-affirming medical procedures for minors, Bauer stated that it would be transphobic to question any of the extreme and experimental interventions that are being performed.

When Bildy suggested that one of the side effects of hormonal interventions for young trans-identified females is early menopause and corresponding symptoms like hot flashes, Bauer remarked that some adolescents might be “excited about that.”

Bildy closed her cross-examination by pulling up a photo of the infamous Oakville, Ontario high school shop teacher.

She then asked Bauer if the man wearing the enormous prosthetic breasts is a woman.

“If she identifies as a woman, then her gender identity is a woman,” Bauer responded.

“With full access to female spaces?” Bildy pressed.

“As per the law,” Bauer said.

Hamm is, essentially, in trouble for holding the opposite position.

After Bauer’s cross-examination was complete, it should have been time for Hamm’s witnesses to give their testimony. However, counsel for BCCNM has spent a good portion of the 10 days of proceedings trying to get her impeccably qualified witnesses dismissed.

Legal counsel for Hamm intends to call Dr. Miriam Grossman, Dr. Kathleen Stock, Dr. Linda Blade, and Heather Mason. All have extensive knowledge of the gender ideology debate and experience in different areas pertaining to it.

Dr. Grossman is a practicing psychiatrist who works with trans-identified patients and has been raising concerns about gender ideology since 2006.

Dr. Stock is a philosopher, a writer, and the author of Material Girls: Why Reality Matters for Feminism.

Dr. Blade is the president of Athletics Alberta and co-author, along with journalist Barbara Kay, of Unsporting: How Trans Activism and Science Denial are Destroying Sport.

Mason is an advocate for women in prison and a former federal prisoner who knows more than anyone what is happening to the marginalized women who are bearing the brunt of Canada’s disastrous policies regarding the placement of trans-identified male prisoners.

BCCNM counsel has argued that none of these witnesses’ experience, expertise, and opinions are relevant to Hamm’s case, despite the fact that they clearly demonstrate the existence of an ongoing debate of great public interest.

On day 10 of the hearing, Karen Bastow, legal counsel for Hamm, reiterated that what is taking place is not a negligence case but a free speech case. She stressed that Hamm’s speech is protected by her charter right of freedom of expression.

Opposing counsel Findlay made it clear that the BCCNM cares nothing for Hamm’s charter rights by launching into a description of how Canadian institutions have been completely captured by gender identity ideology as if this is a positive and desirable state of affairs.

“A transgender youth in Canada, or an adult for that matter, may discover their identity as transgender and, when they do, they find it in the context of a medical and a legal system and an educational system that recognizes and understands, accepts, and assists with their identity as transgender people. The schools teach it, the doctors practice it, the nurses care with it.”

She concluded, “there is no debate here. Here, the debate is settled.”

Except the debate is not settled in Canada: it has not even begun. The BCCNM is trying to prevent it from even starting by silencing Hamm and not allowing her witnesses a chance to testify.

What is happening to Hamm should not happen in a free and sane society. It is an example of the totalitarian nature of gender ideology and its “no debate” mantra come to manifest.

Amy Eileen Hamm is a dedicated nurse who has never faced any workplace discipline. She is a mother of two young children. And she is now facing the loss of her job for stating basic facts that most people agree with. This should concern everyone.

Our society should be applauding the kind of people who can stand up to social pressure and against atrocities like the sterilization of children and the destruction of women’s boundaries. Instead, it has cowed to a regressive orthodoxy that is burning heretics at the stake.

No, the debate is not settled. Amy Eileen Hamm’s hearing is only its beginning.

By Eva Kurilova Eva is a guest essayist for Reduxx. A regular contributor at Gender Dissent, Eva is passionate about promoting lesbian activism and protecting women's sex-based rights. You can find her traversing the Rocky Mountains of Alberta, Canada with her partner and their husky, Freya.

#Canada #Amy Hamm is speaking the truth #British Columbia College of Nurses and Midwives (BCCNM)#I Heart JK Rowling #Michael Seaborn has pronouns in his bio #Dr Elizabeth Saewyc doesn’t understand how lesbians are same sex attracted #World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH)#Dr. Greta Bauer Can’t define women or female #If she loses her job that is one less nurse to treat actual women and their babies

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laurelwen · 2 years

Text

A peek inside Nigel's notes

...in which my obsession knows no bounds.

Here is a screenshot of the page from Nigel's notebook that Alex reads to his friends and which Sally later sees while investigating Nigel's secret room.

And here is my best attempt at a transcription, because I had to know what it said. And also to help the youngsters who may not be able to read cursive well or at all. There are a few words I can't quite make out, as denoted by [?].

…night at his study desk …every day. I have observed him …and [?] Alex is …[?] in our lunch and spends , megalomaniac with delusions …at seven and walked quickly across the …class this morning was English literature …minutes late. After that he will go to Biology …to follow Alex in Biology class. Alex made a [?]... …incision into the small mouse and did not appear to... …the arteries began to flow blood into the dissecting tray …been long and i have performed several dissections as well as …on various animals. The three mice that were pregnant lay …the dissecting tray with each of their limbs splayed out and pinned …[?]. Alex slept restlessly last night and then woke at six thirty am. Last night he had stayed awake reading until eleven but lay awake for another forty six minutes. He had placed his clothes on a chair the night before where on previous evenings he would hang them neatly in his closet. After he arrived back and put away his books he watched me from the other side of the room while I removed a rat's heart and pretended to be disgusted. His shoes are always highly polished and his pants are always perfectly pressed. Alex will line up his shoes at the base of his wardrobe and always make sure his coat is hung on the back of the door. On average, Alex will do two hours and thirty minutes of homework per night but spend countless hours in the library reading. Alex is an egocentric megalomaniac with delusions of grandeur. He will spend twenty six minutes in the shower each morning and always puts his left shoe on before his right. The last thing he does before he leaves our room in the morning is put on his wristwatch that sits to the left of his lamp on the nightstand. After making his bed Alex spends three minutes in front of the mirror, checking his appearance and will …put on his blazer jacket. After he arrived back our room he… …brushed his teeth and taken a long shower he changed… …morning he does his tie up in a windsor knot, … …who leave their tie knotted and slip it… …a noose.

After this, the text starts to repeat previous statements, as the propmaker's inventiveness failed. Clearly they cared most about making sure the megalomaniac bit would be noticeable since that's what is called out in the lines.

#like minds #tom sturridge #nigel colbie #alex forbes #murderous intent #do i really have nothing better to do with my time #obvsly no #make the content you want to see #which isnt the content other people want #im a people pleaser #unhinged #me or nigel #both really #nigel colbie x alex forbes

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dailykoreanpop · 11 months

Text

Excerpts Of Former Girls’ Generation Jessica Jung’s Novel “Shine” Resurface Amid EXO-CBX’s “Slave” Contract Claims

“The past is repeating itself…”

On June 1 (KST), EXO‘s Baekhyun, Xiumin, and Chen stunned fans and netizens with the announcement they would be suing SM Entertainment to terminate their contracts.

According to a Yonhap News report, the members asked for a full accounting of their activities and the revenue produced since March, but SM Entertainment has yet to provide them. The members released a complete statement detailing all of their grievances with the company, in addition to an apology to fans.

We apologize to the fans for causing concern, we are deeply sorry.

Although we are currently in a legal dispute with SM, we will choose a gracious path to settle our differences so as not to create concerns for fans.

We are currently, at this moment, very scared and in fear, but we have decided to raise our small voices about the mistreatment we have received.

We hope that you will be interested in our story and our struggling courage. We would like to sincerely thank our fans who have supported us for so long. Thank you so much.

— Lee Jae Hak

One of the grievances listed in the statement is the extremely long contracts the EXO members signed. According to the announcement, the artists originally signed contracts lasting twelve to thirteen years, much longer than the standard seven dictated by the Fair Trade Commission.

In addition, SM allegedly has artists preemptively sign contract extensions, bringing the total number of years under contract to at least seventeen to eighteen years. Lee Seung Gi recently exposed his company for keeping him under a “slave contract” like the above.

According to fans online, this revelation about EXO-CBX’s contracts was already hinted at by a past SM Entertainment artist — Jessica Jung.

Jessica Jung was a member of GIrls’ Generation from her debut until her removal from the group in 2014, leaving the company just a year later. It was initially said to pursue her fashion career with her brand BLANC & ECLARE.

In addition to her fashion, Jessica pursued several other avenues, including the much-anticipated release of her first novel, Shine. About a young Korean-American joining the K-Pop industry, Jessica has confirmed that the depictions found in the book are “based on experience.”

Now years later, an excerpt from Shine has begun recirculating online after the recent revelations from the EXO members.

On a page from the novel, the main character asks another about their contract length, and the other bitterly explains how DB Entertainment, the fictional label in the book, controlled her career.

Somewhere in a bank in Switzerland, in some secure vault, are the three-year extension contacts DB forced the rest of Electric Flower and me to sign the same day we signed our original contracts. Postdated, of course, so everything will hold up in court.

— Excerpt from Shine by Jessica Jung

The character also mentions how the company attempted to make everything her fault, similar to SM Entertainment’s statement that accused another company of trying to poach the trio and denied the trio’s listed complaints.

As Jessica’s novel is so closely related to her own story, some fans have shared this to support EXO-CBX’s claims, stating the former girl group member tried to shine a light on this issue.

Credit: Koreaboo

#jessica #Jessica Jung #Jung Sooyeon #Girls' Generation #snsd #exo #baekhyun #byun baekhyun #xiumin #kim minseok #chen #kim jongdae #SMtown #SM entertainment #koreaboo

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himbos-hotline · 1 year

Note

smut prompt: “are you..are you blushing?” “NO physical activity just makes me red okay”

hangmatt?

Show the method of your selfless tongue [Give me a sermon]

Word count: 3910 words Ship: Matt Jackson/ "Hangman" Adam Page, "Hangman Adam Page" & The Dark Order Characters: "Hangman" Adam Page, Matt Jackson, John Silver, Alex Reynalds Triggers: smut, unprotected sex [dont be like hangmatt.], feminisation, praise kink, blowjobs, Top!Hanger, Bottom!Matt, no verbal consent. Authors note: This fic hit me like a train at like, Five in the morning and it is now seven in the morning. The elite reunion on Dynimite made me insane, how the rest of us Elite girlies feeling? If this flops I will cry. Read on AO3

Adam doesn’t want to talk about it. He definitely doesn’t want to talk about anything that just happened. But as John presses his hand into his shoulder Adam snaps his eyes up to stare at him through his eyelashes. “So…” He starts, thumb stroking the curve of his shoulder blade. It's a soft looping moment that stills the anger in Adam's mind, soothing it until it simmers and tempers down into something tight and tired in his stomach. “Do ya wanna talk about what happened out there?”

Adam pauses slightly, lips pressing into a thin line. He looks like he's thinking but he isn’t. He knows he doesn’t want to talk about the Elite standing beside him again or the small quip in Matt’s lips when they made eye contact, or the fact that for the first time in a while, Adam actually felt anxious. He doesn’t want to think about the fact that Kenny walked away, left him when he needed him the most. Again.

The pressure on his shoulder; heavy and comforting, brings him out of his own thoughts and John looks down at him, head tilted to the side. “Where’d you go?”

Hell.

Home.

Adam thinks, eyes creasing together slightly at the two conflicting statements. The Elite wasn’t his home anymore. Maybe they never were. They never really wanted him, he was always second best, always the cow, never the cowboy. “Nowhere. Just tired.” Guilt bubbles at his stomach as he lies to the beaver boys through his teeth. Alex and John had been nothing but good to him, he can trust them so why was he lying to them? “I’m just gonna hit the hay… it's been a long day.”

Alex nods slightly and stares at Adam from the corner of his eyes. He opens his mouth, closes it before taking Adam’s face in his palm. “Are you gonna be okay?” His hand sneaks to the back of Adam’s head, stroking through his tangled hair, letting the soft blond curls slip through the gaps between his fingers. “A lot of stuff happened tonight; we lost.”

“Uno got sent to the hospital.” John’s leaning against the headboard of Adam’s bed, hand resting on the small of Adam’s back, fiddling with the tassels on his jacket. “And..”

“Yeah the Elite. I know..” Adam flails, squirming to sit in the middle of the bed. Legs crossed under him, Adam picks at the invisible patches on his jeans. “I’ll be okay. Promise.” The two of them look at him unconvinced for a few seconds and Adam pushes his smile wider , tries to blink the sleep from the green of his eyes until there's a small glimmer of acceptance in his friends eyes. “I’ll call if anything goes wrong.”

“You promise.” Alex asks, raising an eyebrow in slight concern. Adam knows they are worrying because they care. He knows they care but he just wants to sleep, their worry makes the anger twist up into a ball of anxiety in his stomach and it's not purposeful. Adam knows what so he presses a hand against his stomach, the ball of his palm pressing into the scarred fat around his hip. “Adam, we love you.”

Adam’s words are blocked off with a yawn that opens his mouth so wide, that there's a dull pain that tingles through his mouth. The Dark Order boys chuckle, John reaching over to lightly tug at the tip of Hangman’s boots. “Love y’guys too. Now scram before I change my mind.” He chuckles, rolling off the hotel bed. It’s only polite that he walk’s them to the door, even if it is only a few steps. They make smalltalk, Alex pressing his nail against the tacky skin of Adam’s wrist as he pulls open the door and says goodbye. “Text me when we find out anything about Uno, yeah?”

John nods, wrapping Adam in a tight hug, hands pressing into the small of Adam’s back. “You promise you’ll call if anything goes wrong?”

“What's the worst that can happen?” Adam states, chuckling his way through the sentence. He grows to regret that statement a few minutes later. He’s standing barefoot and sleepy in the small hotel bathroom, toothpaste foaming over in his mouth where there's a sharp knock at his hotel room door. At first it startles him, his body flinching into alertness and he pads over to the front door.

Adam all but nearly chokes on his own minty-flavored spit. He wipes his chin, gasps in a few small lungfuls of breath. “Matt?” He stares at his former friend and Matt doesn’t quite stare back. Brown eyes the color of sea-smoothed pebbles scar across his bare chest before falling to the hem of his striped pajama pants. “What uh-” He mentally curses at himself, for opening the door, for not having the right words to talk to his former friend. “What are you doing here?”

Matt startles almost like he’s surprised that Adam is talking to him and hasn't just slammed the door in his face. “I…” He pinches at the skin between his thumb and forefinger and Adam cocks a small smile, he’s almost endeared that Matt hasn’t fully grown out of the quirks that Adam used to find adorable. “Nick and Cole are uh..out somewhere and Kenny is..”

“Oh.” Adam can’t help it. He steps forward slightly, trying his best not to crowd Matt in on his doorway and glimpses down the hallway as if making sure he wasn’t going to be randomly jumped. He can’t help but look down at Matt when he picks up the small anxious sound that the smaller man makes when Adam squirms into his space. “Are you..okay?” It’s a stupid question because Matt has started chewing on his bottom lip, pulling at the skin until it comes off in small see-through slithers that he drops into his mouth. He’s anxious and by the way his eyes are flicking across Adam’s face, wide and helplessly annoyed, stressed and inside his own head.

Some twists in Adam’s mind, that stupid southern politeness that makes Adam step back and hold the door open for Matt, gesturing with his head when Matt tilts his confused and opens his reddening lips to protest. “Make yourself at home?” Adam mumbles, raising his hand to gesture around his small hotel room with his toothbrush. He feels his cheeks blanche slightly when Matt makes an effort to smile. “Sorry about the mess..”

Matt looks around, spots the small collection of messy clothes and the outfit neatly folded on the chair beside the bed. “Yeah..it's really messy…” He tries to put laughter into his tone but it only quips up with anxiousness. He’s not exactly sure why he came to Adam, they’re not really friends, hell they haven’t really spoken since Kenny returned. But he needs someone outside the Elite to drag him out of his own head, and they were friends. Once.

He perches awkwardly at the edge of Hangman's bed, smiles at his boots tucked under the wooden bedframe. Adam’s always been a man of routine and structure. “A place for everything and everything in its place” he used to tell them in Japan, picking up and folding Matt’s boxers into small squares to tuck neatly into the front of his suitcase. The memory makes Matt smile, warmth pooling in his stomach. He misses Japan sometimes, with its bright lights and streets and rules and food that he couldn’t really eat. And the one hotel room where Adam would curl up between him and Nick, nose pressing into his collarbone for comfort when his anxiety brought loudness to his brain. He misses Japan and trust and Kenny the way he was before, the way he was with them under Kota’s warm gaze- loving and caring and gentle.

“Hey Matt, what's wrong?” Adam talking almost scares him, he straightens his spine and stares up at him like a meerkat watching a hawn before his brain registers that he is in fact that hawk; the predator coming into Adam’s space. Sitting on his bed like he belongs there. Matt slumps again, stares at the floor until Adam’s weight makes the mattress groan under them. “Matty. Talk to me.”

Adam’s looking at him with eyes as green as emeralds and summer nights decorated with fireflies and the healthiest crops. Adam is looking at him with softness and concern in his eyes and Matt sighs. “I lost.” His voice is small, rough from disuse. “I keep losing. I’m bringing the Elite down! I keep making us lose and it's all my fault and Kenny is getting more and more frustrated and it’s upsetting Nick and I just don't know what to do anymore. I’m trying..I’m really trying!” Now that Matt’s started, the tsunami of words won’t stop. They’re flooding out his mouth and over his teeth and collecting on the carpet floor of his former friend's hotel room. “I don’t know if I can keep going..I can’t keep letting my family down..”

“Matty.” Adam’s voice is barely above a whisper, so soft against Matt’s heaving breaths and rough voice that he almost misses it. Until Adam takes his hands between his and squeezes tight enough that it makes Matt look up from the floor, teary eyes blinking at him. “Oh Matty, you don’t let anyone down y’know that right? Ya lost the trios titles, but you’ve never needed gold to show people how great you are.” Adam takes one of his hands off Matt’s, raises his chin with his knuckles and wipes a stray tear off the apple of Matt’s cheek. “Kenny’s getting frustrated because it’s Kenny. But he loves you, more than…anything-”

“Not more than Kota..” Matt admits, eyes flicking over Adam’s. He smiles sadly when the greens of his eyes flicker with understanding. “He loves nobody more than Kota..” He hears Adam sigh and it draws his eyes down towards his lips. There’s toothpaste drying between his top and bottom lip and Matt leans closer, eyes closed as he rests his forehead against Adams. “I’m so tired, Hanger.”

Adam feels Matt’s hands trembling under his, spots his blown out pupils when his eyes open halfway. He lets Matt search his eyes, lips perfectly parted and red. Adam is the one that's brave enough, that's foolish enough to let Matt kiss the toothpaste taste out his mouth, lets Matt whine into his mouth as Adam licks across his bottom lip, across his teeth when Matt opens his mouth. He tugs at Matt’s hair slightly when he pulls away, heart hammering and lips tingling. “Matty-”

“I-...” Matt’s blinking at him all slow and cat-like and the fire that’s burning in Adam’s stomach, anger and lust and bereavement shaking up and opening his veins. “Adam?”

“You’re not failing Matty.” Adam breaths into the gap between his mouth, grinning when Matt shifts forwards to try and close into his space. He shifts away, straightening his back and looking at Matt through his bottom eyelashes; green eyes dark summer leaves. “say it.”

“I-I’m” Matt hiccups out, tongue feeling heavy and useless in his mouth. He’s shifting, squirming in his space on Adam’s bed, pulling at his shorts. He feels Adam’s fingers tangle into his hair, nails brushing against the crown of Matt’s scalp and it’s enough to turn his brain to mush in his skull. “I’m not failing…” He breathes out and it feels like a small weight is lowered off his shoulders when Adam smiles satisfyingly.

“Good.” Adam breaths and Matt nearly preens, all brown eyes and brown out pupils sparkling with the praise. “Ya doin so good Matty.”

“Doin’ good.” Matt gasps out, legs falling jelly-like and numb. When Adam smiles into another kiss, Matt nips at his bottom lip, giggling when Adam gasps. “Please?” His eyebrows crease and he shifts forward. “Wanna be good! Please? Please!” He feels pathetic for begging in his shakingly tearful voice, but Adam presses his finger against Matt’s lips and nods.

He settles kisses against his forehead, one heavy and calming before resting his hands on Matt’s shoulders, toying with his hair. Adam wraps it around his fingers, letting it fall around his fingers and hums pleased. “Always so pretty baby.” He whispers, shifting Matt to straddle his hips. Each movement is slow and well placed, like Adam’s trying to drink Matt in with all his garish patterned clothes and reddening face. “Y’want me to get ya undressed baby?” Adam’s words are slurring together, lust drunk and nervous as he gazes up at Matt like he’s something important; a championship title hung fingertips out of reach, an angel standing at his bedside. Matt nods slowly, grinds into Adam’s lap with a despertness that makes him moan.

“Wann do good!” Matt complains again, impatiently. Adam’s fingers are toying with his shirt buttons, lips brushing against the tanned skin of his chest, stubble scuffing up the skin over his nipples as Adam takes one in his mouth, tongue tracing over the small bud. It makes Matt feel drunk, head spinning, heart racing. He grips at Adam’s hair, his shoulders, anything that Matt can dig his round nails into while Adam works. He feels like he’s going to float away. There’s a chill that hits Matt’s sweating skin when his shirt is dropped casually onto the floor beside Hangman's boots.

“Doin’ so good baby girl-” It slips out on Adam’s exhale, rips swollen and pinked and Matt nearly keens, arching his back into Adam’s warm fingertips. He hears Adam giggling and stares down at him through barely open eyes. “Nobody’s called you that in a while hmm?”

Matt doesn’t answer Adam’s question. Keeps his lips pressed perfectly together as Adam unbuttons his shorts and carefully rolls his hip. His weight is crushing Matt into the mattress and it’s the only thing in the world that matters; not the flurry of snow that brushes against Adam’s window or the fact that Matt lost the match. Again. Just Adams shoulders pressing against his hips as his lips press kisses against well-trimmed hair. His skin comes up in red fireworks and it feels like heaven. He’s doing good because Adam keeps glancing up at him, smiling at him against his skin and Matt feels a coil twist in his stomach.

“Please?” He can barely manage the word; the letters come out a garbled groan as Adam strips his boxers off the rest of the way and kneels at Matt’s feet, still in his pajama bottoms. He’s looking at him, fingers working over a smudge of self tanner into his thigh. Matt whines and Adam laughs, large hands just holding his legs, massaging knots of self-doubt out of his muscles.

“Are you blushing baby girl?” Adam asks through a small fit of laughter. He’s no longer on the bed. He stands by Matt’s face, untangling the strings and letting his pajama pants drop around his ankles. There’s no longer the glimmer of shame in his eyes that Matt distantly remembers whenever Adam would strip for him, he’d try to cover the scars on his hips with his hands or squirm away when Matt would try to sink his teeth into the fat of his hips. scars or the fat around his hips. Matt always thought Adam was beautiful; a perfectly mirrored statue of Aphrodite made out of heavy bones and marbled eyes that Matt could stare into and find something new every time.

He presses his face into Adam’s crotch, letting the wetness soak through the black cotton of his boxers and onto his cheek. It’s dirty and makes Matt feel like a whore but it’s all worth it because Adam whines low in his chest and pets at Matt’s cheek. “Not blushing.” Matt mumbles, tongue brushing against Matt’s clothed dick. He knows he’s teasing but the way that Adam stumbles, rests his hand on Matt’s leg like he’s able to support him, makes him grin. “Physical activity makes me red.”

Adam tugs his face away from suckling at the head of his cock through his boxes, takes his face in his hands and smiles down at him. “Ain’t done nothin yet baby girl.” Matt’s soft in his hands and it takes Adam no time at all to have him sitting up against the pillows, kissing him back as he drags his hand slowly across his cock, grinning when Matt moans into his mouth.

“Whose fault is that?” Adam mumbles, hooking Matt’s leg around his hips, hand trailing against his hole. The sound Matt makes is enough for Adam’s ears to turn red. “Needy girl, y’doing so well baby. So good, I’m gonna reach over and get the stuff yeah?” Adam waits for Matt to nod before moving, slowly rummaging through the pocket of his suitcase.He tosses lube onto the bed, watching it bounce from the corner of his eyes. “Fuck.”

“Wanna.” Matt replies, rolling onto his side to stare up at Adam, lip puckering out when he sees his eyebrows knitted together. “Wha’sup?” Matt crawls to lay his head on Adam’s lap, massaging his thumb across the pale blonde hair just above his dick. He watches Adam’s stomach tighten.

“No condoms baby.” Adam whispers, voice wound tight as he stares down at Matt’s hand then up at Matt’s face. “You wanna continue? I’m clean….its uh been a while.” Lust makes his tongue loose and heavy in his tongue and by the quick nods and hyper whines that fall from Matt’s lips, it's been a while for him too. “Okay, shh now, shh. Go lay back down.” Matt nods again, pressed his lips just above Adam’s leaking cock against his stomach before crawling on wobbling arms and legs, back to where he was laying, half propped up against Adam’s pillows.

With his tanned legs spread and cock leaking across his stomach, Matt looks like an angel, he always has in Adam’s eyes. For a moment, he just looks at him, eyes soft and filled with love as he crawls to sit between Matt’s legs. Adam strokes himself a few times, trying struggling to keep his eyes open. He wants to commit this moment to memory; Matt laid out and needy and his. He takes Matt’s tip in his mouth, tongue tracing over beads of pre-cum that leak down his throat and the world fades away. It’s just Adam and Matt.

He sucks until Matt’s whining, legs draped loosely around Adam's shoulders and his cum is leaking over Adam’s chin. His dick lays neglected against his stomach, leaking and sore but it doesn’t matter. He’s making Matt feel good. He makes Matt know that he’s good. That he isn’t a failure because he’s the only one that turns Adam’s brain into a quiet mush. He slowly pulls off Matt, letting his mouth hang open. He shows Matt his mouth full of cum, and lets his throat flutter as he swallows it down.

“Need you..” Matt gasps, tears bubbling over in his eyes. Adam crowds his space for a few moments, leaning on his elbows and pressing his hips into Matt’s. He brushes his lips across his cheeks, licking at his tears and it makes Matt smile, blissed out. “Why?”

“Y’too pretty to cry. The prettiest girl I've ever seen.” Adam whispers, laying his head against Matt’s chest. He uncaps the bottle, squeezes lube around his fingers and drags them slowly across Matt’s hole until he feels like Matt is wet enough that he can slide one finger in. Matt’s back arches and the moan that slips past his lips is one that Adam’s only heard on porn. It’s enough to make his head spin as he lazily fingers Matt open, letting him slowly ride his fingers until he’s open and begging, spit running down from his open mouth.

Adam’s careful to line himself up, forehead pressed against Matt’s. They’re staring into each other's eyes as Adam pushes through Matt’s tight ring and instantly feels his brain shatter as he bottoms out. Matt’s so warm around him that it almost feels like home. He could stay like this forever; inside Matt while he pants into his mouth and twitches around the end of his cock. Adam wants to stay like this forever but Matt starts thrusting backwards, groaning as he opens up around Adam.

He knows that Matt’s not going to last long, he can feel him leaking over his abs, their cum mixing together on their stomachs as Adam shifts and thrusts tiredly into him. “So good- fuck Matty so fuckin good!” He groans, trying to keep pace with Matt’s eager thrusts as he tries to ride Adam while on his back. It’s a beautiful sight and Adam wants nothing more than to just stay here, but the coil is tightening in his stomach and the glorious pressure is starting to tingle in his back, rising through his hips. He stutters, moaning into Matt’s ear. “Close baby.” He gasps, angling his hips differently as he thrusts into Matt harder, chasing his own growing orgasm. Matt’s nodding, choking on his own pleasure as tears rolled down his face.

“Daddy- hurts good- so good! Please! Please! Wanna be good! Please- ah!” Matt’s voice is high pitched and trembling, rocking out through his lips like Adam’s fucking it out of him. He’s so close and he takes Matt’s face in his hands, kissing him as the coil snaps and Adam feels himself fill Matt, his hips stutter and Matt’s face smooths out as Adam pumps into him, gasping and trembling against his cheek.

Adam’s desperately slow to pull out of Matt, badly repressing the groan that punches out of him as Matt’s tightness slides away and his own cum leaks out of Matt. “So pretty Matty. So good.” He gasps, leaning down to kiss Matt. He feels Matt’s dick leaking neglected and sore against his stomach and Adam feels guilty for not making him cum.

He pulls Matt closer, letting him lay on his arm and snuggle into his side as Adam strokes him slowly, fingers rolling and smeering pre-cum across Matt’s swollen head. “Cmon baby girl, cum-” He has to remind himself to breathe, Matt copies his heavy intake of air and grins stupidly when they release it together. “Cum for daddy.” Adam keeps the same lazy pace as Matt spills, warm and gorgeous, across his knuckles.

“See how important you are baby?” Adam whispers after they’ve cleaned up and Matt’s fixed his hair. He’s dressed in Adam’s shirt and a spare pair of boxers that are a size too big for him. “You always have been important, y'know that right?” Matt nods against his chest, nose pressing into his chest. Tiredness has washed away any desire of around two.

As the Canadian weather plunges, Matt curls closer to Adam and smiles, finally feeling weightless. He may keep losing but he won something that night. He won Adam’s heart back. And that’s better than any championship title. Adam watches his phone flash up, shifts to look at it and Matt whines at the movement. “What is it?” He whispers, tucking his head deeper into Adam’s neck, lips brushing against his pulsepoint. “Can’t it wait till the morning?”

Adam sighs, sinking back against the pillows as Matt straddles his hips again. “Yeah, I don’t wanna talk about it tonight.” He leans up, lets Matt kiss him messily, sleep making his movements sloppy. “It can wait till the morning.”

Taglist: @allelitesmut @homoeroticgrappling @dustinslovehandles @paradoxunknown @katries @mrsmatt @echoxshxrx @malewifemoxley @kass-the-kitten @itsnoosetome @racerchix21 @jacedoe @chuckstaylors @old-no7 @thekadster @mandiableclaw @tahiri-veyla

#matt jackson #hangman page #hangmatt #all elite wrestling #aew fic #aew fanfiction #mouse writes

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