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jojikawa · 1 year

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Vash the Stampede x Starfire!reader

Vash the Stampede and a Fem/Fem-bodied reader who is an Alien Princess that ends up in Noman's Land!

dividers

Vash didn’t expect to see many other forms of life apart from Homosapiens. Humans. The standard stuff. Before Meryl, Roberto, and Nicolas, he was mostly on his own. It was hard to separate himself from his brother who would terrorize everyone. They were twins, after all. So, when he came across you, someone who clearly wasn’t human, he was extremely surprised. Just at a glance, he wasn’t able to tell exactly what you were but it didn’t seem good at all. You were humanoid which was identifiable enough, looking similar to a human woman. Vash only learned of you because there was a huge commotion of “some chick” going around and terrorizing a large settlement.

At first, Vash believed it to be Naï before he learned it was a woman. When he finally came in contact with you, he saw how distressed you looked. Your body language showed it all.

Vash was the only person who could restrain you because everyone else wanted to deal with you through violence. Although bullets didn’t have any effect on your diamond skin, they made you much angrier and that would only put more people in danger. He tried over and over to talk to you but you were unable to understand his language, so he communicated the only way he knew that worked.

He pressed his forehead to yours lovingly, hands holding either side of your head. It was an odd gesture but it worked for the plants…and it was the only way to keep you from headbutting him. Lucky enough for him, it worked! You seemed to calm down. Although, it wasn’t because of his thoughtful gesture. You just became extremely confused and eventually docile. Then he removed your cuffs.

“My name is Vash. Can you tell me your name? Where you’re from? I can take you home.”

The only thing Vash received in response was a cute head tilt from you. At first, he believed you to be mute until you actually began speaking.

“Zu’u krosis nuz Zu’u nis mindoraan hi.”

“Eh!?” Vash sweatdropped with a blush of embarrassment covering his face. He’s never heard a language like that before. You beckoned him to bend down to your height and once he obliged, you pressed your lips to his. The kiss made his cheeks turn red and burn with delight!

When you pulled away, Vash stepped back. You held your fingertips over your lips. “Mmm…V-Va-sh?” You repeated, broken English and all before correctly saying his name. “Vash.”

You smiled kindly. “I am sorry if I’ve startled you with my actions. It was the only way I could learn your language.”

Vash, now astonished at your ability to speak perfectly, could only stare and fumble over his words. “I-I…uh *ahem* No problem!” He rubbed the nap of his neck with his prosthetic arm. “Can you tell me where I am in the solar system?” You asked politely.

Your new escort noticed that your attire was extremely different. It was skimpy but tattered as if you had just escaped from somewhere.

“You’re on Noman’s land—H-Hey, you should put something on! It gets really cold here at night.” Vash began to remove his jacket. “Why are you giving this to me? Does it not belong to you?” You allowed him to place his cloak around your shoulders, closing it just a bit to hide your body. It was very much clear now that you weren’t human but your body was extremely humanoid with assets similar to a human female. Your appearance could be considered distracting given that your clothes were partially destroyed, leaving yourself for all to see.

“T-Trust me. You need it way more.”

You looked down at yourself, unsure of what he was referring to. You dismissed it, carrying on the conversation. “Can you please inform me of what the ‘land of no men is’?” You looked around for a brief moment. “Just at a glance, I can see that this place is nearly uninhabitable. Is that the origin or ‘no men’ and if so, why are you here?”

Vash laughed awkwardly. “It’s a long story. First, we need to—“

“Hey!”

The two of you were interrupted by a group of people. They had guns, all pointed at you. They surrounded the both of you and the circle grew ever smaller.

“Out of the way, Vash.” An older woman motioned her gun to the side. “It’s best we trade this gal for a new plant.”

The confrontation made you furrow your eyebrows. Your eyes began to glow. “Do not worry, I will handle the hostiles.”

Vash didn’t know at all what you were trying to do but he could tell you would easily kill these people. “N-No! Wait!” He threw out his arms, trying to cease the conflict between you and the citizens of this run-down village.

Unfortunately, at the same time, the people fired their guns, and lasers shot from your eyes. You would have killed the ones in front of you if Vash didn’t tackle you. Neither of you were hit by the bullets

“What are you doing?” You questioned, pushing him off of you. “I’m protecting them! Dot hurt them!” The man begged.

“Last chance! Give her over.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “Vash, why are you protecting these inhabitants? They are using lethal force on me while you are in the crossfire.”

Vash got up from on top of you before quickly turning to your attackers. “Guys, it’s okay! I’ll fix the plant and you’ll never see her again!”

And that’s how your relationship with Vash the Stampede began. He somehow convinced the townsfolk to let you go despite the damage you caused. You began traveling with him on his adventures and met new humans called Meryl, Roberto, and Nicolas.

They all had their different opinions of you. Roberto wanted nothing to do with you, only believing you’d bring more trouble. I mean, why did you show up the way you did? Yeah, no. Anyways.

Meryl believed you were important somehow. Vash told her how the two of you met. It would make an amazing story! She asked you many things, even about your homeland. Of course, she was skeptical at first, but who isn’t?

Nicolas thought you were the cutest. He loved teasing you with words and phrases you didn’t know or failed to understand. He nicknamed you “firecracker” because of your temper.

Yet, not all of them knew your story. Your real story. Being a gentleman, Vash didn’t want to pry, even if you were an illegitimate couple. He felt loyal to you somehow because of your circumstances and he was the only person you ever kissed to expand on the human language. That means you two cared about each other, yeah? There seemed to be some kind of boundary.

The lot of you settled down for the night with a campfire. The humans were tired and didn’t want to spend the night driving. They were hungry as well.

Meryl wanted to know more about the attack that ensued when you first arrived. She claimed that it would make a good story, even telling you that she could possibly be promoted from it so, naturally, you felt obligated to help one of your friends. The small group began to grow on you and made you feel as though you could trust him.

As you told your story, Vash couldn’t help but give you a sad look. You turned out to be such a nice person and he couldn’t believe the situation you were in.

You sighed. “I have learned that my native tongue is nearly impossible for lower life forms to pronounce. That is why I have you call me (y/n) instead.” You ignored Roberto taking a swig of his drink with a big sigh. “I am from a planet that is…light years away. I am considered to be its leader. Like…a princess of sorts.”

Meryl almost choked on her water. “A princess!? I have to write this down…”

“You’re a princess?” Your partner tilted his head, his eyebrows raising at your statements. You silently nodded. Your gaze fell into your lap. “We were invaded by hostile life forms who tried to enslave our people. To keep bloodshed to a minimum, I tried to form an agreement with the invaders.” Your gaze shifted to the side, looking at the distant sandy wasteland. You hadn’t properly processed the whole situation. “We didn’t believe the agreement wouldn’t last long so…my twin sister sold me to them to ensure her own freedom once they attacked again.”

“Evil twin?” Roberto raised an eyebrow. “We have enough of those already.”

“There’s…space wars? Do you hear this?” Meryl glanced at Roberto who shook his head in response. “Not the time, newbie.”

Meryl jumped. “S-Sorry…I’m sorry that your sister sold you out like that.” Nicolas tsk’d, pulling out a new cigarette to satisfy his urges. “Your sister sounds like a real bitch.”

Bitch? You’ve never heard that word before.

“Bitch..?” You repeated. You turned to Vash. “May I…?” You pointed to your lips, signaling to him something no one else could understand. “Y-Yeah, sure.”

The humanoid typhoon felt butterflies in his abdomen and his chest burn whenever you wanted to “learn a new word.”

The trio watched as you and Vash closed the distance between each other, kissing each other deeply. It only lasted for a second. You smiled softly. “Thank you.”

Turning to Nicolas, you nodded your head. “I agree. My sister is a ‘real bitch’.”

Vash laughed awkwardly, not at all expecting you to say the word so well. Meryl was even more confused. “What was that?!”

“What was…what?”

“You kissin’ needle noggin,” Nicolas smirked at you, giving you new and different vibes. It was still hard for you to read someone like him. “Needle noggin…? Oh! You mean Vash! On my planet, we can learn languages through lip contact. Vash is my translator.”

Meryl held a surprised expression for a moment before exhaling loudly. “Phew! I thought he was your boyfriend!”

“Boy…friend!?”

“Kissing or ‘lip contact’ is something that people who are a couple do. We…aren’t a couple.” Vash leaned over and spoke close to your ear. It seems that your customs could be mistaken as romantic.

“What’s wrong with Vash being my boy-friend?”

Meryl shrugged. “I mean, if it’s true that you’re some alien princess then Vash is the most unlikely person to be your lover in my opinion…right?” She laughed, elbowing Roberto who didn’t humor her.

To be honest, Vash felt the same way. You were almost…exotic in a way. Who knew that out of all people in the world, he would get along with you: someone who isn’t even from this world! The plant nicknamed the “Humanoid Typhoon”, cast aside without being given a second thought, knew what it was like to feel wanted by someone! In a way, he didn’t deserve you or your kind nature.

“Hm…” You looked down at your lap again before smiling. You clasped your hands together and gave Meryl a close-eyed smile. “I think Vash would make the perfect boyfriend!”

“Anyway.” Roberto cleared his throat. “This, uh, slave trade thing. What’s supposed to happen with that? They’re not gonna come lookin’ for ya, right?”

“Oh! The invaders should not know where to find me, at least for now. The land of no men can not be detected on most locators since it’s unable to naturally sustain life.”

Nicolas stood up, exhaling a long cloud of smoke before stretching. “That’s good enough for me.” He began to walk off. “I’m gonna hit the hay.”

“Yeah, me too.” Roberto made his way back over to the truck as well. “Come on, newbie.”

“It’s Meryl!” The young reporter narrowed her eyes at the older man. She sighed before standing. “You gotta tell me more about your customs in the morning! You have no idea how many people would be interested in hearing your side.” Her eyes held an innocent sort of eagerness. One that gave you joy. “Sure! I can not wait to tell you more.”

And then it was just the two of you left.

“Is there something wrong, Vash? You are rather quiet tonight…You have not eaten as well.” You took a portion of the cooked meat and held it to his mouth. “Do you need assistance?”

“No, no.” He gently moved your hand away. He gave you a sad smile, conveying how dejected he was to you so clearly. “I just…wish that there was a way I could protect you.”

“Protect me?” You grabbed Vash’s hands. “You have done such a good job protecting me already! I can also protect myself. You have nothing to worry about because we have each other.” Your face began to heat up. It felt like you were unofficially confessing your feelings to him. The only thing that stopped you from fully committing was the thought of rejection. You’ve been through so much with him already, but would he really want to be with a weak leader? A princess who failed to save her people and was captured?

Vash had a fear of rejection too. He knew for certain that you would probably want nothing to do with him once you’ve encountered Naï. There was just no way. They bled the same blood. Somehow, hearing about your hard past almost confirmed it for him. What would happen once Naï found out about you? He would stop at nothing to obtain you. If only there was a way to send you home.

You began to get worried when your partner didn’t answer you. He seemed to have zoned out, which was very unlike him. “Vash?” You called softly, bringing one of your hands up to his cheek. Your thumb rubbed it tenderly and you gave him a reassuring smile. “Nothing will happen to me.”

You felt like your words weren’t exactly putting him at ease so perhaps, you would need to let him in on more of your anatomy.

“I…I have something to tell you.”

This made his eyes widen. You didn’t exactly look happy either.

“You can tell me anything.” He grabbed the wrist of the hand that was touching his face. You inhaled softly, preparing yourself internally. “My powers are fueled through…emotions. Anger, sadness, happiness, and love. I have very strong emotions of love that are connected to you. So, I am not worried about the harm that should befall you or me because I am strong enough to handle it.”

Vash’s already-tinted cheeks turned a deep red. His pupils retracted at your confession. He couldn’t believe the things that he was hearing from you. He’s been trying to push down his feelings for you for months!

“And…” you continued, averting your eyes. “I like the idea of lip contact with you—oh! And you being the male friend.”

“Boyfriend or…just friends?”

You blinked. “Well, you are my friend, that's a boy.” You squint your eyes at him. “…or at least I think you are. You seem to be male-identifying.”

Vash sighed, closing his eyes gently. You seemed to be a bit confused but, how could he blame you? He chuckled out loud before muttering “You’re so adorable.”

Your cheeks burned when he leaned in to kiss you one more time. He placed his free hand on your hip, pulling you slightly closer to him. His other hand gently squeezed your wrist. When he pulled away, he left you wanting more.

When you realized what happened, you leaped out of his grasp, covering your mouth with your hands.

“Aw, I didn’t scare you, did I?”

#vash x y/n #vash the stampede #Trigun #trigun stampede #vash x reader #vash x you #trigun headcanons #fluff #trigun stampede x reader #trigun stampede x you #Vash x starfire!reader #Vash x Female reader

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hundredsspoons · 1 year

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I appreciate that they're trying to give Meryl a clearer character arc in Stampede by having her start as this idealistic young girl who will (presumably) become more jaded when Roberto dies or whatever, but it bothers me for a few reasons. One: Manga Meryl's jadedness at the beginning of the series shows something important about No man's Land's culture. Even this pretty average office worker in an insurance company has shot someone. She has shot multiple people: we don't know how many, but enough that she's pretty numb to intense violence. She is 20 or 21 at the beginning of the series; we don't have a sad backstory for her like we do with, say, Wolfwood. She is the series everyman, and very young, but this is how she lives. It shows how IMPOSSIBLE it is in No man's Land to live outside of violence and, consequently, how RIDICULOUS/INCREDIBLE Vash's moral code is. NO ONE thinks what he believes is possible. It isn't just assassins and criminals that think he's insane. Two: Meryl does have a character arc in the manga, which other people have already discussed at length, but is still very dear to me. Over the course of the story, she regains something that she lost before the manga began. Vash's code has a lot of flaws, which are rightfully explored at length, but Meryl's renewed hope shows its core strength, which is belief in a better future- belief in something that doesn't exist right now, belief in something that doesn't SEEM to be CAPABLE of existing. Hope in its purest and most fantastical form.

#trigun #trigun stampede

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iwritenarrativesandstuff · 7 months

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Trimax Thoughts Vol. 14 Pt. 2

We're in the home stretch... last stream of consciousness post! The story ends with these last four chapters...

Oh. Ok. Immediately hitting me with this on the first page. "What's there left to see?" "Let's see the world together." "I wanted to see tomorrow with him." Just another way of showing us that Vash is not driven to survive this fight anymore.

!!! The lights again! He heard Meryl!!! AGHHHHH

I'm actually a little unsure of who is saying the "hey, come on, Vash the Stampede" lines. I'm assuming he's saying this to himself. I don't think anyone else makes sense.

The ambiguity of this situation is so fascinating, and it all comes from the way we almost never see the Plants' true perspectives. We know, at least, that they talk amongst themselves. Before the battle began, the ones who were not fused were concerned and worried over the outcome, and what the right decision is. Knives claims here that they were all united in their hatred of humans over the abuse they suffered, but we also see these dreams that Knives sees also of a mix of human cruelty and kindness - the same thing they transfer to the humans when the feathers start falling. They also all know and seem to like Vash - honestly, I'm of the mind that the Plants feel somewhat neutral about humans overall, and are primarily concerned with not hurting their own kind - which includes both Knives and Vash. Unfortunately, they have very little control or free will in this situation. There are two possibilities for the emotions of the fused entity here:

Knives, having walled himself from truly fusing so he can still direct it and maintain his sense of self, is simply feeling his own hatred, intensified by the power boost from the rest of the Plants - and Vash's interference is something he feels due to having a stronger connection with him specifically.

The Plants, having a less defined sense of self in general, feel whatever the dominant consciousness feels - so all the fused Plants really do feel hatred for humanity. When Vash connects though, they feel his grief and sorrow, as he is the one with the stronger Gate.

I think the second option makes more sense - and this kind of makes this whole situation even more tragic for the Plants... it makes it even harder to glean what they actually want. (Though the situation could be drastically improved if they were recognized as conscious entities - that at least would be a start.)

I like that we still, even in the final act, see Vash allowed to be a bit afraid and hesitant - he definitely knows this is going to be overwhelming and probably going to hurt a lot. With him being as exhausted and prepared to die as he is, he could've just been written as utterly indifferent to the pain but no, even with all that, he's still got a bit of a preservation instinct. It's very real actually.

"I felt that! Where are you?!" "Don't touch me!" <- ...brothers...

Oh it's actually breaking apart... but um. What happens to the Plants...? :(

"I beg of you... once again... grant me that ticket." 😭

MERYL YOU ARE THE STRONGEST PERSON IN THIS MANGA I LOVE YOU FOREVER

YES!

Also this means they're all going to see Vash too, doesn't it?

WAIT. HOLY SHIT THIS IS THE PLANTS. They call him Red Brother? That is so cute... And they are convinced to give love and peace a try because Vash knows and loves both of them... humans and Plants...

(I actually am now thinking, because of the feather we saw on Vash before, that he wasn't talking to himself but that was in fact the Plants urging him to get up... I wasn't aware they could use speech or just images/emotions, so I wasn't sure.)

:') (I was so scared for them guys. But this is interesting - can progress be made so they don't have to live in the lightbulbs? That would be a good step towards instating more autonomy for them.)

AAAAAAAAAAA :''')

"But I will not yield. Our past and our future will not allow it." <-Sunk cost fallacy again. I wonder just how much of the conflict in this series are the characters feeling unable to change simply because they've "come this far". Might be interesting to go back and look on a re-read.

Knives... :(

"I was the one who broke away." 🫠

That's what she told him??? aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

IN COMES CHRONICA WITH A STEEL CHAIR

Vash saved him!!!

Oh. The wings... they each only have one... because they shouldn't have been separate like that...

Help girl I am. On the floor. Crying.

"Oh and welcome to No Man's Land." Livio you are so funny

WHAT WAS THE REASON. I AM ALREADY CRYING STOOOOP

Love the return of Vash's old wanted poster. Lol.

Hair down Vash with dark hair :)

Knives... I find it so interesting again that Knives immediately tries to barter Vash as necessary to these people so that he'll save him. But the doctor was actually convinced by the sight of Vash's injuries and the desperation in Knives' voice. It's so minor but it's still such good characterization and further proof that the ideal of kindness is present in ordinary people.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The symbolism of him creating an apple tree as a gesture of what is both thanks and trust... but Knives, ffs, why would you just disappear on your brother without telling him. UGH. He used the last of his power, didn't he. Healed Vash's injury as much as he could then created the tree. Is he dead, or did he just lose corporeality or something? I'm honestly not sure. Either way, Vash lost his brother too after they just got each other back.

Begging him to start singing his murder song again

It was at this moment he knew. He fucked up.

Aww! They are going to be such a good team now that Vash is going to hopefully stop running off. DUDE.

HJHSBJHCBZJHVSBJV WHAT

I did not get the song I was expecting, but the fact that these two apparently play a song about Vash to signal the start of their broadcast is so funny. What is happening.

OMG Sheryl and Lina!!! Badwick and his family! Brilliant Dynamites Neon!

LIVIO!!! And the kids and Miss Melanie... at Wolfwood's grave... (Livio I love your new look.)

:')

"The same song of humanity still sang."

What a beautiful end to this story... thank you everyone in the book club (and to Rev for organizing it!); I had so much fun with this. I can't wait to go through the tag some more and go back through everyone's posts again - I fell behind a few times so I want to do a re-read of everyone's analyses and thoughts. I'll have a few more posts probably, but for now... thanks for what was a really fun experience everyone! I think this manga's story and characters will stay with me a long while.

#storyrambles #trigun #trimax #trigunbookclub #until the next time... if we do book club 2.0 i'll definitely be there :)

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chibivesicle · 1 year

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The sadness of Steven A. Starphase.

How Kekkai Sensen/Blood Blockade Battlefront is painfully realistic. In the most banal adult ways possible.

With me going back to rewatch Trigun before Stampede began to air, I was itching for more work by Yasuhiro Nightow. However, his follow up manga that started as a one-shot that became Kekkai Sensen/Blood Blockade Battlefront came out while I was in grad school and when the anime was briefly on Crunchyroll later, it didn’t ping me as a suggestion. I’m very much a josei/seinen person with occasional forays into good sports or slice of life series, then shoujo and then shounen series if they have a good sense of humor. Essentially, I need something like FLCL or Gintama to keep me amused.

With Stampede not meeting what I’m realizing were unrealistic expectations, I was curious and decided to follow up on Blood Blockade Battlefront (B3). The title alone would be a turn off for me; I put faith in it that it would have that original Trigun quirky vibe. Honestly, I wish they’d not have translated and told me it was Kekkai Sensen, I would have been easier to convince to watch it. I watched the first episode and was already loving the style, the artwork and the OST. That OST man - so good. And the VA cast - so many actors from Gintama and I was shocked no one was commenting that Femt, the King of Depravity, was voiced by one of my fav VAs, Akira Ishida! What sealed the deal for me, besides the incredible graphic design, story boarding and attention to detail from studio Bones was the entire sequence in S1E3 - A Game Between Worlds when Klaus and K.K. go to the Alterworld following the former Soviet chess grandmaster to the Alterworld Mafia Don’s home.

As the story unfolded in season one, I started to gravitate towards my usual character types; tough independent females and tall, dark, and handsome males. Yeeeaaaaah; I love Chain Sumeragi, K.K. and Steven A. Starphase. I also appreciate Leo with Sonic and Klaus Von Reinhertz is the best male tank character I have ever seen. He’s so adorable! And gentlemanly with his tie and oxford brogues. B3 is a workplace drama/comedy that just happens to take place in a secret organization that handles weird supernatural stuff. Seriously, that is a great summary and it is a great cast even if I’d likely kill Zapp and punch Brody & Hummer for being double ditzes.

I haven’t finished season two yet (I’ve watched through S2E7 - so no spoiler comments for the rest of season two or the manga please!). But the character who ticks all my boxes is Nicholas D. Wolfwood - er - I mean, Steven A. Starphase. Steven is the second in command of Libra, one of the oldest team members (over thirty), has a facial scar, dark hair, sarcastic, stylish and the team member; who gets shit done. That peaking bit of a tattoo and his ruffly black hair . . . Chain may have gotten Wolfwood’s outfit and is a werewolf, but Steven is the evolution of Wolfwood, balancing out Klaus’ unwavering principles, and willing to take on the role of doing the dirty work in the background which is necessary. The body language of Steven is the same as Wolfwood, he’s a mix of straight lines, angles and noodle.

Steven is also paired with Vash - I mean - K.K. on missions. Following the anime format he’s teamed up with her in S1E5 - Bloodline Fever where they have to fight a Blood Breed in a subway station. Unlike, Vash and Wolfwood, K.K. is not keen on him all the time calling him black-hearted and giving him the mocking nickname of Steven-sensei (I guess since he is the logistics expert of Libra always coordinating the teams while K.K. is a lone sniper character).

However, despite their one-sided discord, the two of them work well together where he shows his noodle qualities saving K. K. and the young girl and her mother in S1E8 - Z’s Worst Day - Part 1. Interestingly, Steven takes K.K.’s criticism rather seriously as he’s shaking as she scolds him . . . Steven takes K.K.’s words into account indicating that he does want work well with her.

Before, reverting to his oft “Now, now, now” line to de-escalate things. The two also naturally balance each other out and communicate well with their options when trying to determine which of the two mysterious individuals is the Blood Breed from the India Gate.

They are also characters who are able to info dump quite naturally due to them being the most senior members of Libra in the main cast besides Lucky Abrams. And the storytelling makes their info dumping flow with the story - sometimes they are trying to figure something out, sometimes Steven is pondering a situation. Either way it works well for the second in command to be the man with a bookmarked to hell reference text and even have a color swatch for a Blood Breed’s aura. He also has lots of paper reports which indicates he’s the kind of guy who likes to read through physical items than scan a computer all the time.

By the end of season one, we know that Steven is for the most part, serious about work, a deadpan snarker, leans towards the more pessimistic side despite having hope for the future. e.g. he’d likely describe himself a realist as opposed to Klaus being a dreamer.

It gives us enough information that he’s been beaten down and is no longer an idealistic youth. Take when he asked about why Leo wouldn’t accept higher pay despite struggling financially and comments that Leo is an upstanding young man. He also originally was hesitant for them to even invite Leo to join Libra in the first place, despite knowing the value he brought to them, we know this is alleviated by S1E5 when he takes a literal beating to stall for time. Steven looks chronically burnt out - he is the only character who always has lines under his eyes. His facial expression is rarely one of him smiling or laughing and he maintains a sort of meh or down turned expression when not dealing with serious work situations. Even in the image below when he’s smiling it isn’t a happy smile, he’s thinking about the situation they are about to enter, looking back on the past three years.

His character is frequently shown with a cup of coffee - at the office, he has a blue mug with a red bottom that matches his shirt, frequently when he has papers in the other hand. He will also drink tea with Klaus but it is clear he’s reached that working adult phase of life where coffee is fundamental to your day to day function. Steven is also shown to down energy drinks in times of extreme deadlines as well.

Season two, B3 & Beyond appears to be a season of back filling manga chapters that were skipped in season one to have a tight story. The one aspect that was a bummer in season one for me was how characters besides Leo, Klaus, Black and White got loads of development and growth everyone else was just in the background as support. Season two likely pulled from manga chapters that were published earlier which lead to some confusing/unclear points for viewers aka, like why K.K. calls Steven black-hearted and the Steven-sensei nickname. It is too bad they didn’t have these episodes earlier but I’ll take my character development background whenever, just give it to me.

We first get the explanation from Klaus and Steven at the hospital that reappeared about their personal experience of the Great Collapse to Leo and the introduction of Dr. Lucina Estavez (who should totally date Klaus) as well as defeating the Blood Breed that the two hand been training to fight.

The episode that really hit on my idea that there is a sadness to Steven wasn’t until S2E3 - Day In Day Out. We get a few parallel story lines that show what happens in Leo, Zapp, Steven and Chain’s day where they are independent of each other but still cross paths by the end.

The first thing we learn is that Steven has an amazing loft apartment with a balcony and cool artwork and an Alterworld/Beyondian housekeeper, Mrs. Veded. He emerges from a bedroom with a cup of coffee in one hand and the newspaper as he greets her. With a genuine smile too.

I can look beyond his choice to put milk in his coffee - however, that goes against K.K.’s comment that he’s got a black heart. I’ll excuse his milk in coffee for his stress and soothing his tummy. The phone rings and he goes to pick it up.

We can still see the lines under his eyes so again, he is either always exhausted or we are to read them as actual wrinkles. Maybe both - he’s older and tired due to working hard. A rather playful female on the phone jokes with him about waking up early - at 11AM and it is clear that he hasn’t been up that long either.

There is a conversation about how much alcohol to bring tonight, cluing us into the fact that he’s having a dinner party at his place. Which again, is freakkin’ swanky as all hell. I want Steven’s place.

He’s got a carefree attitude as he talks to two different people on the phone about arrangements for the evening. These are not Steven at the office looks, these are Steven potentially having an outside life facial expressions!

When he gets off the phone, Mrs. Veded comments that he looks happy and Steven seems shocked. She also noted that he seemed very stressed out and tense all the time and she is glad to see him not in such a state.

Since we know that Steven keeps a straight face for the most time at work, he can’t help but reply that he’s shocked at her observation. Which is true, I’m sure Klaus can read him pretty well in work situations, but it is his thing to keep his cards close to his chest. In season one, he is frequently the go between for Libra and the government whether it is the FBI, HLPD, the League of Casters and so forth. Angelica’s comment of Klaus-san and Steven-shi shows that she knows Klaus from previous interactions, but the -shi on Steven implies that she’s never met him, but knows of him and speaks to him respectfully. The English equivalent would be like staying, “Oh, you’re the well-known organizer at Libra, Steven Starphase.” The point is, Steven is well known in certain circles and is respected professionally.

In season one, he was only happy when they were successful at work or his plans went well. For example, his delight at how Leo was able to spot the Ghost Wagon and how he told Klaus that he needed to work on his management skills of others. He additionally has a mix of a dark and offbeat sense of humor, able to laugh while Leo is wrapped up in bandages.

This is not a relevant image other than that it shows time has passed and I still want Steven’s loft.

Mrs. Veded has been helping him all afternoon to prep for his party and we see that he even gets in on the action cooking and wearing an apron of course. He goes with his more casual dress shirt with no tie. There is an almost excited look on his face. I’d guess he hasn’t had people over in sometime.

He goes to let people in and he hands the flowers to Mrs. Veded (who adorably inhales their scent looking happy) and after greeting them, trips over. Of course the friends comment that he’s been working too hard. Steven, adulting hardcore.

The gifted flowers are placed on the table in a vase by Mrs. Veded and he thanks her for all of her help. However, it is clear that he doesn’t need her for the rest of the evening and she takes her leave.

Again, we see another nice subtle smile from him here but something about it lingers, like he’d like to say more but can’t. After she departs, he talks to himself about getting things started, grabbing a bottle of champagne from a bucket of ice and commenting they should get started.

The next time we return to his place, all of the party guests are eating, drinking and chatting up a storm. There is chill music on, everyone looks fashionably dressed, wealthy - and human. All of this gives us the indication that outside of work, Steven has the most ‘normal’ social group. Look at his swanky place, the nice artwork, stainless steel fridge, kitchen island . . . yet while everyone is chatting merrily in groups we get a framing shot of him silently standing alone leaning into a column in his living room. You can tell that every single individual except for him is talking with another person or two based on their body language. This is such an excellent image and it lingers just long enough before it zooms into him looking off in to the distance with a wineglass of course.

Steven has such an interesting expression here, he’s got what appears to be his usual poor posture, leaning against the wall, holding the wine glass and has a soft but almost sad smile. Wistful is the best I can think of.

The fact that his left hand is across his chest and under his right is unusual for him. He rarely displays this type of conservative closed off body language, think of how frequently he’s got at least one if not both hands in his pockets. Steven speaks rather casually and bluntly; I like to call his overall posture, noodle, which is relaxed and confident. Yet, here, he appears much more stiff and is alone at his own party as you look more closely. Something is definitely off.

He goes off to get more beer and leaves the living room when all of his guests raise their arms to reveal biological weapons and tell him to remain in place, Steven Alan Starphase of Libra. Love the use of his middle name for emphasis as well. Of course he denies any knowledge of Libra at first before turning back towards them slightly. Another great part of this scene is how when he walks the few steps up to his kitchen we get a glimpse of his shoes he’s wearing at his house party.

They aren’t some sort of relaxed shoes, the few short steps allow us to see that they are his modified shoes for Esmeralda Blood Freeze techniques. We didn’t get this when he tripped in the foyer, but this is now giving the viewers a hint that he’s prepared for a serious fight.

The first sign that things are about to go south is that when he calls out two guests for only just meeting this evening but appeared to actually know each other.

As they continue to threaten him, he concludes that they need to capture him alive; likely due to his role as the second in command at Libra. This allows him to stall for time as he teases them to give him more information, by stating their bosses are idiots for wanting to capture him alive - as it implied he was expecting them to shoot him.

The framing for this entire sequence is top notch. He never turns to face them directly while continuing the conversation with Ellen. She tries to threaten him to stop being all pretentious and that they’d have no choice but to attack him. Of course he replies mocking them by throwing the question about it back at them. The resignation in his body language that this is what is happening. I don’t think that at this point that he can even look them in the eye. He’s too upset and is keeping it calm and collected.

The shading over his eyes as he looks down, the slack shoulders, this is not how he wanted his evening to go down. Yet, here he is inside his kitchen in a tight spot. Or so it seems.

However, Steven is anal retentive when it comes to organization and details, and he faked tripping at his front door to use his Needles of Absolute Zero move on them. Obviously, he likely did this at the beginning of the party for the rest of the guests being a good host circulating himself. This also explains why he sent Mrs. Veded home, he didn’t want her to witness him doing something this ruthless. Plus, she likely doesn’t know what he does for a living anyways.

The look on his face as he freezes them is so lonely, his eyes are closed and he’s hunched forward. He may not regret his actions honestly; he had no choice but to follow through with this course of actions but that feeling of disappointment, sadness, loss, betrayal. It hurts. Only after he’s frozen them all in place does he even glance back to them as his breath is visible in the air.

Once everyone has been subdued, he gets a moment to gloat over them and their mistakes. He notes that Larry was smart to select weapons that could get into his building undetected implying that he lives in a pretty secure building and that Larry was carrying his weight funny for the past ten days. He also tells Ellen that she tried too hard to cover the scent of the weapons with her usual perfume - by adding more. However, she should have changed the scent and he wouldn’t have noticed. After telling them how he figured out things were off, he steps back and looks at the group, his entire expression tired and blank. More stress lines under those eyes.

His own personal clean-up crew is there to take them all away. And since this isn’t under the guidance of Klaus, he’ll likely let those masked individuals use questionable methods to interrogate everyone for the information he needs to know. Who or what is targeting him? Why? What do they want from him? These are the sorts of things Steven has to know, but the type of things that Klaus wouldn’t be involved with due to his stricter moral code. In this instance, Klaus is Vash, holding an almost impossible level of hope and goals while it is clear that Steven is pragmatic and realizes sometimes you gotta slog through the shit to get things done and protect others like Wolfwood. Though, Steven would have been very upset if Mrs. Veded’s roast were damaged in anyway so he clearly loves her cooking and the love she puts into it.

The likely immediate reaction for a lot of viewers at the end of this scene when he goes out for some air is; Holy shit! Steven is a total badass. He just froze his entire dinner party and turned them over to shady underlings to pump them for information. Badass indeed!

Yet, when I saw the end of that scene, I felt so sad. When it goes to him alone along the road, he’s chastising himself for his own behaviors. He’s leaning on the railing looking out into the night giving himself criticism for letting his guard down and enjoying himself too much. He tried to meet ‘normal’ people who didn’t work for Libra and look what it got him?!?!

He thinks back to how he met various individuals like Ellen and Larry. And that is when it really sinks in and all of its subtlety. You think back to his comments and realize he had to likely know these people for a few years as he met them and slowly thought about having them meet. To realize what type of perfume Ellen wore all the time. To notice that Larry started walking oddly with in the past ten days meant he saw him walk a lot more for a decent amount of time prior to the recent days.

And then it sinks in - all of those people might have went out of their way to befriend him over the period of several years - for the purpose to kidnap him for their boss. The level of deception, of effort. If that was how he met all of them, it sucks so much that it could break someone down. I almost felt like crying the more that I thought about the entire situation. Even if they’d met him first to just be friends, it still shows they were convinced to join this plot to capture him.

Thinking about that hurts; it would make him absolutely paranoid to befriend anyone who isn’t associated with Libra and socialize with them outside of work. But you don’t want to hang out with your work friends outside of work do you?

The entire mood of this image captures his feelings of sadness, isolation and loneliness. He’s the darkest figure in the image as the car headlights, apartment windows and orange construction barrels are more illuminated than he is.

The car turns out to pull over and stop as it is Mrs. Veded and she’s got her two children with her who meet him. Steven smiles at them and they have a pleasant conversation.

The icing on the cake is when he thanks her for everything - she likely thinks it is about her help prepping for the party and cleaning his place. But Steven is speaking from his heart. She’s likely one of the most normal people he knows. Oh, that smile and his smiling eyes. Steven, you’re a good guy even though you have to do some not so great things. You care about normal people, you know how to talk to normal people and you are not biased based on species.

Her daughter shows him the cat they found and he knees down to see them eye to eye and comment on how the cat is so cute. Note, he’s totally channeling Wolfwood, by talking to the children like they are normal and then comes down to their level to continue to chat with them.

The bonus is that he properly pets that cat which shows it is happy. Aaaahhhh my heart is melting. I love it when someone knows how to properly interact with cats.

The episode then ends with Leo, Sonic and Zapp riding by, Zapp having a total meltdown about his eminent loss of his most important body part. Steven laughs how his friends are having a wild night out on the town - revealing that for better or for worse - his closest friends are his colleagues at Libra and Mrs. Veded.

I’m sure that when Leo stops by to chat with Steven, they likely notice the heads of the two goons in the car and figure out that cat is the missing purebred and all’s well that ends well.

The entire episode was a wild ride as the different characters navigate challenges for the current stages of their lives. The one though that stuck with me the most was how realistic Steven’s entire situation is, besides being a key member of a secret organization who can freeze stuff with his blood. I mean more along the lines of what it is like to be a hardworking professional over the age of thirty. Trying to navigate a work-life balance and meet people outside of a school context. It is really difficult and it makes his situation in this episode sadder. He likely put a ton of effort into meeting all those people as adult friendships are bloody hard. Steven’s actions were not out of revenge nor malice; it boiled to either something bad happening to him or to them. He outsmarted them and won the contest but at the loss of likely a bunch of people he socialized with outside of work and clearly never told them who he was - with the whole working for a secret organization.

We can also guess that with his multilingual skills, like Klaus, he’s not a native of NYC originally and moved there to be a part of Libra. Which makes his story even sadder and more lonely.

We don’t have enough information if he’s a native speaker of Spanish or that he knows it for his Blood techniques. Zapp and Zed have to do theirs in Japanese (with very Buddhist undertones as opposed to Christian for Steven and Klaus) and they were taught by a mysterious ‘otherwordly’ man with a dark skin tone and wears a skull sooooo one can’t correlate Blood technique language with ones own racial/ethnic background. All that it has revealed is that between Steven and Klaus, besides English, they can speak a total of nine languages knowing that Spanish and German are two of those nine.

I’ve gone off track, but getting back to my main point. The entire episode fills in a few gaps from season one.

Steven does have a black heart - sort of. K.K. isn’t incorrect, but he isn’t doing this all for fun. He’s the guy who has to choose between two terrible options. He is the character who makes decisions - very deeply thought out decisions for the overall good of the many as opposed to the few. Unlike Wolfwood, he does not charge into situations and instead, does his research, assembles teams and will work himself to utter exhaustion to prevent disaster. He commands others with a strong presence and organizes almost all of their coordinated plans as well as making sure they are executed properly.

Though his interactions with Veded and her kids as well as his concern for protecting normal people or other staff; he cares a lot about others.

Older characters are more reserved. Steven frequently interacts with all sorts of people and is the contact point for Libra. Everyone has his number. He does not show his emotions easily and takes much effort to be convinced. Detective Daniel Law is the one who talks directly to Steven while Klaus listens silently. Though, as obvious as it is that Law is manipulating Klaus, Steven doesn’t say anything aloud and instead sighs and groans at the expected outcome. When Master Raju Jugei Shizuyoshi appears, it is Steven who quickly determines his identity, implying he’s done his research though it was still after the Blood Battle God utterly mocked both K.K. and him, the two most senior members of Libra. Yet, he holds his own and keeps his cool - interestingly, Klaus does not speak until addressed by Shizuyoshi, instead allowing Steven to carefully question him without being intrusive. A character like Steven also hits differently. The antics of say Chain or Zapp aren’t as interesting or realistic as watching Steven lose it over making sure his computers aren’t destroyed.

He’s realistic even in the context of something like B3. The burnt out vibes, the snarky comments, the confidence in regular work situations. Steven is an easy older character to connect with. And he’s got that twinge of adult isolation and loneliness where you wonder how you got to this point professionally successful, yet, somehow are still alone? What did you sacrifice to reach this point? Was it worth it? I still have a few more episodes to go, but I’m curious to see how things pan out. Annoyingly, the print version of the manga is out of print (throws serious shade at Darkhorse) AND they don’t even have it digitally for me to legally support. That’s pretty annoying there Darkhorse . . . Yet so far, hands down, I love Steven’s character and all of his banal realistic flaws. As life gets older, you have to compromise on things and his character is a great example of that along with the grind of working and being successful

#kekkai sensen #blood blockade battlefront #kekkai sensen meta #blood blockade battlefront meta #steven a starphase #character study

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katiica1412 · 9 months

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How I fell in love with the Trigun franchise.

This essay ist mostly intended for those who know at least one installment of the Trigun franchise and are wondering if they should check out the others, but mostly it's about the personal journey I had with this series. It's not meant to analyze the series in any deep fashion, because I think that would take weeks or months and several rewatches/rereads.

It's just about my feelings.

I wrote this on a whim but I hope you enjoy it anyway.

Consider it a love letter. Also because it is inevitable, this contains heavy spoilers, especially for Trigun Stampede, you have been warned.

Trigun Stampede was a series I was actually pretty interested in, when it was announced. A reboot of a big name that is often mentioned in the same breath as Cowboy Bebop, which I hadn't seen yet either, but everyone had some kind of big respect for it, so it mattered.

Then it was even being animated by one of the most promising studios in recent years. Studio Orange, who are the runner-ups for 3D-anime with their amazing blend of 2D-animation and CGI.

So what could possibly go wrong here? At first absolutely nothing.

The pilot episode had everyone on the edge of their seats and left most people flabbergasted. I still consider it one of the best pilots I've seen in recent years. It looked gorgeous and sold me on the main character pretty quickly.

But the main goal seemed ….not too complex..... and even a bit too…. straightforward for my taste.

An evil twin brother.

A simple good versus evil story, I thought.

Then episode 3 came along and introduced the villain doing his glorious evil deeds in an extravagant fashion. But something was off. Our main character was blamed by the townspeople, even though he meant for the best? But you couldn't even be mad at the people because they were understandably devastated? The story all of a sudden got more layers. But I didn't get how important that dilemma would become in the long run.

I didn't get it.

I didn't get how much it would make me feel…..

The next episodes I enjoyed moderately.

I was watching weekly, so I enjoyed some of them more then others. I still was a bit irritated by the plot, even if I quite enjoyed the setting.

But they were seemingly wandering aimlessly on that desert planet.

I mean, eventually Vash and Knives would have to face each other…..but I didn't get what the story was trying to do until then.

Even when Wolfwood was introduced, I still hadn't understood. He was incredibly likeable and played off with the main cast very well. His backstory was told so beautifully in episode 6. Episode 8 was another highlight for me. We were finally getting a wonderfully flashed out backstory for Vash that made him so much more rounded. It was also greatly expanding on Knives' motives.

But then the episodes after…….I didn't feel it anymore….

I don't even know why.

Maybe I fell into that seasonal anime burnout, maybe I was just down…..depressed, call it what you will….

I didn't like watching Meryl and Roberto.

The dialogues irritated me and I was just frustrated I couldn't enjoy it anymore.

But then….

Then came Vash's dream sequence.

The flower garden lightening up in a beautiful red.

Rem standing at the tree in the middle.

A little Vash running towards her.

Jumping into her arms.

Smiling.

Her arms caressing him, and him feeling the safest, the most loved he has ever been.

…and I…

I felt that too. It was like an epiphany. I finally understood the core. It was like I was blind then began to see.

It was such an overwhelming content feeling.

I saw Rem being painted as mother earth. This story was about our world.

Their world.

About humanities' exploitation of the nature, of each other.

About the human condition as a whole, about hate, if everything could be overcome, but most significantly...

…about love and peace.

In its center was Vash who embodies it all, fights for it, even if he doesn't like it, and carries his message through the world, but at the same time it's about him experiencing the greatest cruelty because of his circumstances.

But holy fuck it didn't even stop there…… The most impressive thing had yet to come. The final episode. It's never been the same for me after that.

All of a sudden this show showed all its christian inspired glory! NOT ONCE I thought about this series as christian inspired… NOT ONCE. UNTIL THEY LITERALLY SHOWED US TWO FALLEN ANGELS FIGHTING OVER THE POWER OF GOD. EVEN THOUGH WOLFWOOD LITERALLY CARRIES A CROSS THE WHOLE SHOW SYMBOLIZING HIS SINS, YEAH I WAS BLIND.

After I saw that, I saw them everywhere! The motives! Every fucking where!!! Especially in Vash.

"Even if they hunt me! I'll just run away! I'll run, run, run, and keep running as far as i have to! And when things calm down, I'll quietly settle by their side again! I'm Vash the Stampede!"

I enjoyed all that symbolism immensely. I wouldn't consider myself the most religious person, but I have been raised in a Christian household and I do want to believe in the lessons of mercy, love and charity, like Vash does. I know, I'm probably oversentimental right now, but ...in the end this franchise made me feel...it wasn't wrong to think that way.

And that's not even all the series has to offer….it's overall a philosophical playground about morality.

So there was no escaping it, I had to know more about this story now.

The next thing I did was binging the 1998 anime by Madhouse. It has a very different approach to things, but it built on the aforementioned themes in a magnificent way. The presentation of the designs and setting were a lot more Western-genre-oriented and now I think, they're even better suited to make the themes shine.

After all Stampede was more leaning into the modern sci-fi elements and mostly focusing on the main brotherly conflict and the lore surrounding it, probably due to time contraints.

This version showed us a little more of the people living on this planet, and their unavoidable struggles. Different stories about people's dependance on others and the little resources they needed to survive.

This Trigun world was more painted as a world, where the crime rate was incredibly high, everyone has to carry a gun and unnecessary duels happen everyday. A cruel place to believe in such a thing as mercy. A place where more villains actively want to break Vash and make him turn on his pacifistic ideals.

Ironically this iteration had a lot of funny moments as well, it was easier to become attached to the characters that way.

It was also a great way of filling me in on a lot of information the reboot left open or still hadn't explored.

Vash was an even more conflicted character here and accompanied with Wolfwood's inner struggles, those two make the perfect antithesis to each other and Knives. Knives in this iteration could hardly be called a character at all. He feels more like a MCGuffin, even if he still gets a minimum share of development.

In the end this anime made me feel a lot of different emotions and with all its great fitting original content managed to tell a beautiful coherent narrative with a beautiful finale that leaves everyone satisfied.

Everyone but me….because I knew there was more :D

Something was still missing here….a lot of the lore regarding the twins and history of this planet that was explained in Stampede wasn't here.

So it was time for me to get to the best part. The finished source material by Yasuhiro Nightow himself.

Trigun and especially the sequel Trigun Maximum.

Imagine it that way.

If you take the best things of both animes and mash them together, this is what you get.

That's one of the reasons those two series complement each other so well.

Oh boy, where do I begin.

This one is daaaark.

If you thought the trauma presentation and villainous encounters in the other two animes were already hard to swallow, this shit's going to destroy you. It did me. I never knew how much underlying sadness a character and I could endure. But also at the same time Vash was the same as his 98 anime counterpart, witty, a jokester, an incredible gunman sure of his capabilities, an incredibly caring hero with ideals worth following, but also a tragic hero.

"What am I supposed to do?

I don't know anymore..."

This iteration shows all of the aspects of his character the other two already had, but also a lot more...

The same with Wolfwood and Knives.

It finally establishes Wolfwood as the second protagonist he has always been, as the 98 anime does introduce him way later in ratio with the lenghth of the manga. We spend more time with him.

Although Knives has a lot more charisma in Stampede, here he has a much more flashed out motive and plan. He seems the most threatening here.

Even his followers all get the time they deserve, Trigun Maximum is where Legato Bluesummers is the craziest he will ever be!

Since this story had enough time to be flashed out, they make the journey longer and harder for all the characters, and the moral dilemmas more complex.

The attention to detail is at the highest it has ever been and the fights and action scenes are a sight to be hold, ….including gore and unsettling imagery throughout.

It works a lot with atmosphere and auras the characters radiate, it doesn't overexplain anything and has some of the best one liners I've ever read, some of them the anime adaptations obviously used as well.

The scale feels enormous by the end, so much so that it overwhelmed me emotionally sometimes…..

If Trigun Stampede really plans to follow this at least a bit, we are in for a visual treat.

But even if they succeed and make it their own, which they, in my opinion already did, the sheer amount of missing content that needed to be adapted to give it the same emotional debth as the manga seems just too great for just another cour… Whatever happens I will be there and support it.

I also have a few things I only briefly want to mention.

Meryl and Milly are awesome. They don't have a big role to play, but it's sufficient. Love them.

The action scenes and visual presentation in all of the iterations, but mostly in the manga, are nuts. The weapons and fighting choreographies are crazy and inventive, thus really enjoyable and infectious.

Legato is the best villain in this story, sorry Knives, of course you're doing well too.

No, I don't ship Vashwood, but I understand why some would.

And lastly, over the studiing of this franchise I grew incredibly attached to Vash. He is probably one of the best protagonists I've ever watched growing.

By now, I have watched Trigun Stampede three times, in sub, german dub and english dub. I have watched Trigun (1998) two times, in sub and in german dub. And last week I have finished reading Trigun Maximum the second time.

In the span of five months.

It never got boring…. And I don't see me letting go of this series anytime soon.

Thanks for reading!

#anime #manga #trigun #tristamp #trigun 98 #vash the stampede #trigun maximum #trimax #nicholas d. wolfwood #millions knives #trigun vash #trigun wolfwood #trigun knives

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rosastra · 1 year

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GUILT

A vashmeryl fanfic, how two broken person might just be each other’s salvation.

Author’s notes : hiii, this is my very very FIRST fanfic ever! Please excuse my baby writing, I hope you’ll be able to enjoy my silly little scenarios 💙

Context : The story takes place two years after July’s incident (stampede lore). After Roberto’s death, Meryl and his niece, Milly, who is now her subordinate, found Vash and Wolfwood again. Thus began their group travel across noman’s land.

Note : Fluff this chapter, will be smut in the next one! Also some angst I guess? Not proofread bc I’m too impatient 🙌🏼

CHAPTER 1 :

“To those I couldn’t protect”

When they set foot inside the tiny inn, the smell of alcohol and freshly cooked food submerged them. The bar was full, people were eating, laughing and probably telling each other all about their adventures on the desertic planet.

It felt great. Finally seeing an ounce of what humanity is supposed to look like. These small moments of rest, which managed to lighten the memories of blood and fear, were cherished by the group.

Milly and wolfwood decided to register the rooms for the night, while Vash and Meryl desperately looked for a free table to relieve their hunger and dire need of a beer. It’s Vash that managed to find one first, used to move swiftly and rapidly around people to snatch the first spot that cleared up. So Meryl went to the bar to take all the orders.

By the time she came back, Milly and Wolfwood were back, already chatting with the blond man. As soon as she sat down again, Vash got some playing cards out of his bag to entertain the group while waiting for the food to arrive.

As time went on, the food was already downed, noting it really didn’t take long considering their level of starvation, and most of them were already on their third beer of the night. As usual, Vash and Wolfwood are the loudest, bickering about who won that last round or betting who will win the next. Milly, who already had way too much to drink for her small tolerance, puts oil to the fire like usual while Meryl gave up the idea of calming them long ago. Even though this scene might seem chaotic on the outside, it was that kind of night that the group wouldn’t trade for anything.

Seeing the smiles of her friends, Meryl feels both pure joy and sadness. She can’t help but feel the dreadful feeling of guilt, gripping at her back like a vulture would at the corpse of its long decayed prey. That is how she felt, at least, consumed from the inside, slowly and painfully.

He could have been here. Had she learned how to use a weapon before, how to defend herself earlier, maybe then, her mentor would still be at this table, judging the group like the old alcoholic man he was. But she knew that deep down he would have enjoyed it too.

While her face tries its best to hide her inner turmoil, a certain pair of eyes behind orange tinted glasses catches that slight change in the mood of the small reporter. But he doesn’t say anything. While he’s not sure what the issue is, that expression she has, he feels like he knows it far too well. What he does instead is to try and snap her out of her phase by pinching her between her eyes.

“Your turn to play, meryl. Or have you given up on first place already?”

She mimics a giggle. “Hah, never.”

———————

Wolfwood won, again. Even though him and the blond gunsman keep arguing about getting revenge, the state of Milly, barely able to form a proper sentence anymore, rings the bell of this evening’s end. After waving the others goodnight and bringing her subordinate back to her room, Meryl doesn’t feel quite ready to sleep yet. She felt exhausted, yes, but it was like that sweet taste of rest wasn’t allowed to her.

She keeps fidgeting under her blankets, staring at the ceiling. The horror of July’s incident keep on flashing before her eyes. Giving up on sleeping for now, the short girl opens the window, hoping the fresh air of the night will soothe her. Her skylight window stood on the highest part of the roof, making it easy for people to go out and sit on top of the inn for some stargazing. As she opens it, she notices a bright red cloth swinging lightly to the desert’s night wind, hiding partially the view of the stars.

Looking up, she sees Vash, sitting a bit higher, heads up and seemingly lost in thoughts.

She struggles a bit to climb out the window, but manages to land shakily on her two feet. The blond, as sharp as always, notices her right away.

‘’Ah, Meryl. I didn’t realize that was your room. Sorry, did I wake you up?’’ He says, giving her his signature soft and calming smile.

She shakes her head. ‘’ Not at all, I was still awake. Just thought a red curtain isn’t usually what I expect to see when looking out the window.’’

He giggles at her comment and taps down next to him, inviting her to sit beside him. ‘’Haha, sorry about that. Never remember how long that coat is.’’

‘’Shut it, I’m sure you sat there on purpose.’’

He probably did. And that thought made her smile. She knew he somehow never failed to notice when she was going through some internal turmoil. He always tried to cheer her up with small gestures, or by giving her a comforting but silent presence.

It was both incredible and stupid. How such simple gestures, coming from a specific person, could already lighten her mood and make her feel like her vultures are now trapped behind that person’s protective aura.

So she sits beside him, now also glancing up at the sky.

‘’Can’t sleep?’’ Vash asks, not looking at her.

‘’Can’t sleep.’’

‘’Do you want to talk about it?’’ He sounded really insecure formulating his question.

Now that surprised her. Yes he found ways to comfort her in some ways or another, but he never asked her directly, too scared to overstep maybe. ‘’About what?’’

‘’Ah, well, you looked like you were kind of out of it these days. You often seems to drift into your own world.’’ He seems like he instantly regrets asking.

‘’ I mean it would be bad if you spaced out while driving, we already had so many acciden— OW!’’ He’s interrupted by her fingers instantly pinching his ear.

‘’No comments on my driving skills.’’ Meryl pouts.

A bright laugh emanates from him, one that makes the world sound like a damn heaven. The reporter feels a light shade of red invading her plump cheeks, and a small smile breaks her pouty expression.

A comfortable silence sets itself between the two and the night sky. All you can hear are small gushes of wind and far away laughter from the last people getting out of the city’s bars. Sitting beside each other like this, enjoying the most simple of things, that might just be enough to her. She daydreams again, but this time about a long life, simple but always together. But when her fantasies of daily life happiness alongside the group crosses her mind, it strikes her again. The guilt.

She feels her throat closing in on itself, her heart banging rapidly against her ribcage but this time not from silly feelings towards her tall friend. Suddenly it’s hard for her to breathe and the memories flash once again. She sees Roberto, lying on the ground, head on her lap as he gives her his empty derringer. He can’t utter anything distinguishable enough for her to understand, his words are muffled by blood choking sounds. Her hand is pressed firmly where the reason of his pain is situated on his throat, covering her in amounts of blood she had never seen before.

He was telling her something. While handing that gun, he was telling her something! But she couldn’t understand it! Was he blaming her? Cursing her? Telling her to pick that damn gun and finally decide to defend herself. Maybe if she had done so earlier, he wouldn’t have had to take that hit instead of her. He would still be alive, drinking to his heart’s content, enjoying his cigarettes and writing simple articles that satisfied him plenty.

Her ears start ringing, her sight gets blurry while her eyes gets filled with tears and— she feels warmth. An incredibly comforting and soft warmth. If she could she would sink even deeper in it, until it was all she could feel.

Her eyes allow her to see the dark blue sky again, and she realizes that Vash had wrapped his arms around her, his head pressing on top of hers. He had stayed silent that whole time, giving her the time to come back around at her own pace. It felt like an eternity in her head, but when did he move that close to her? That means her saw her cry right? How embarrassing.

‘’Vash’’

He slighty flinch when her voice finally greets his ear again. It really must have been a while then.

‘’Meryl…’’ he’s interrupted by her arms encircling him tightly this time.

She’s embarrassed to have been seen in such a fragile state, but she’s so tired. Since her mentor’s death, she didn’t have the occasion to speak about her feelings with anyone, not wanting to burden Milly with the mention of her uncle’s death, or Vash, who probably had other things to worry about. Besides, telling him about her guilt felt like whining about insignificant matters when she knew how bad he felt for everything that happened these past 150 years. At the end of the day, she wanted to be there for him, she followed him exactly for that. He didn’t have to reciprocate her feelings or to bother about her struggles. As long as she could see his genuine smile, she was content.

But tonight, the pain is too big, too deep. And so she abandons herself to his, oh so warm embrace.

‘’I’m sorry, I… I just need a moment…’’

‘’Take as long as you need, Meryl.’’

Still resting his head on top of hers, Vash feels frustrated. He never wanted to see her in that state. Her soft smile and her joyful and sparky way of putting him back in his place when needed, were some of the rare things that kept him alive. He’s even mad at himself, if he could just have the courage to talk to her about it, to be her listening ear, someone she could confide in! He felt like he had no right to be the one to give her advice. After all, he had been the reason for the pain of so many before. But that look of despair he just saw on her face minutes ago does it. He can’t bear to remain a coward and leave her alone in this anymore. So he talks.

‘’I want to be there for you.’’

He surprises her once again.

‘’No matter what it is. No matter what you do. I want to listen and be there for you. Like you have for me.’’

It takes everything in her to not burst into desperate cries right here and there. And it takes even more to finally open her heart to him.

She weakly opens her mouth.

‘’Ever since July— no, ever since Jeneora Rock, the guilt has never left me. I don’t know how to live with myself, knowing my weakness and cowardice is the reason people have been hurt and even died.’’

She takes a deep breath.

‘’ After Jeneora Rock, I was sure I was going to change! I was going to make a difference and finally face the danger head on instead of running away!

But I was too pretentious, too stupid. Roberto died, and it’s all my fault. After dragging him along all of this, I should have at least been able to protect him, to save him! I should have… I should—!’’ The tears start falling down again making it hard to voice her thoughts, overwhelming her.

‘’My weakness, no matter what I do, it won’t change.. Roberto should have been the one to survive that day, not m—‘’ She’s immediately stopped, stunned by Vash who suddenly broke the hug to tightly place her face between his hands. He’s now looking at her intently, eye to eye level, his face a bit too close for her already racing heart.

She attempts to say his name. ‘’Don’t ever say that again.’’

How could he have not realized? Of course she would feel guilty about the things that happened, she cared so deeply for her friends, it should have been evident that those evenings would have gotten to her. Hell, he knew that feeling far too well himself. Yet his cowardice left her alone to deal with it.

He was so angry. At himself, at her as well, they had known each other for so long now, how could she talk like that about herself when she was the one who brought him so much joy in his life.

‘’Meryl, you’re one of the strongest people I’ve ever met. It doesn’t matter if you don’t have enormous physical strength or flashy fighting skills. You manage to find hope in the most desperate moments, you never give up on what is dear to you.’’

She looks at him intensely, the tears have calmed down, letting place for a deep blush on her cheeks once again.

‘’Your ability to shine through every hardship, that is your strength Meryl. You motivate the people around you to be better, to do better!’’

‘’I’m sure that’s what Roberto thought too. After all, he was quite the grumpy man that saw everything in black and white when I first met you two. But after some time, I saw him soften up around you. That’s your power Meryl.’’

The small reporter giggles weakly. ‘’Haha, I guess it’s true that he was a bit less insufferable after some time…’’

She continues: ‘’But I’m sure he’s cursing me from heaven right now, that after all this time, I still can’t do much.’’

‘’That’s not true! You’ve done so much! You wrote an amazing article, trained an amazing new recruit, you’ve learned to shoot a gun, you found me again despite all my effort—‘’

‘’Say what now’’ here goes the pout again.

‘’Alright, sorry, sorry… but in the end, I’m glad you did. Maybe you don’t realize but you already give me so much everyday.’’ He utters, his voice going down in volume.

‘’Such as?’’ Meryl looks almost amused now, her eyes still puffy and her cheeks now dry.

‘’Well, first of all, you give me concussions from all those bumps from the card rides—‘’ He stops when her face contorts in a way that tells him he’ll die if he says one more word.

‘’Okay, okay’’ He laughs sincerely.

‘’You give me… hope…’’ His gaze softens at that. Not quite able to look directly into her eyes anymore.

‘’You give me joy.’’ Her face gets seriously red again.

‘’You give me a reason to keep fighting.’’

‘’Peacefully, of course?’’ She retorts, trying to hide her embarrassment. She mustn’t hope for anything, he’s just being nice to her.

‘’Always.’’ He looks at her again.

Now that he’s calmed down, vash realizes how close they actually are, and he attempts to remove his hands from her face. But she grabs them before he can. She’s not ready to lose his warmth just yet. So she holds him there, her hands on his.

Silence sets again, but something is different. Something is building up inside of them. Vash feels like his heart's gonna explode, he had had dreams where he got to be closer to her, but he never felt like he actually deserved it.

The silence feels extremely heavy, only the light wind can be heard now. Unconsciously, their face gets closer, their forehead now stuck against each other. It’s like their emotions are decoupled. They can feel everything, every movement, every heartbeat. Their hands almost merging together. Meryl can feel Vash’s breath against her face, ‘’smells like mint and beer’’ she thinks. His gaze drives down now.

And slowly, after what felt like a thousand years, the soft feeling of his lips invades her own.

The kiss is tender, and long, the both of them not quite able to separate. But when they do, it takes only a second for them to crash their lips against each other once again. Each new kiss, deeper than the previous one, brings more proximity than they both have ever felt. Meryl almost thought she saw a faint light of blue illuminating the man’s face but she brushes it off her mind, too eager to close the gap between them again.

When they painfully split from their embrace, their eyes stay locked, a shy excitement visible on each face. Their foreheads join again, they’re now laughing. It’s that kind of laugh you never thought you could hear from two broken people on a desert planet, but also the one they wish to never stop.

‘’Now we’ve done it huh.’’ Meryl says, closing her eyes, blotting herself against the tall blond.

‘’I never thought that day would come.’’ Vash is sincere. He actually still doesn’t understand how he could deserve to be blessed by such an amazing person. But for now, that thought is brushed away by meryl looking up at him once again.

‘’Will you stay with me tonight?’’

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