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onlyswan · 8 months

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summary: in which jungkook misses you before he even leaves.

idol!jungkook x reader / angst, fluff / word count: 3.7k

content/warnings: they both cry, they’re so in love and anxious of being apart 🥲 pls somebody give my babies a box of tissue damn it!!! / making out :") might be one of my favs i’ve written heh cherry koo ily

> in which masterlist!

note: hi hiii this serves as a prologue kinda to the giving up drabbles <3 and as to not confuse the timeline, this one takes place in sept 2018 and the first giving up drabble june 2019 ^^ hehe reblogs/feedback are appreciated + as always i’d love to chat abt ur thoughts 🥺

—

“i’ll call you when i arrive at the dorm, baby. let’s pack the rest of my things together, hmm?”

you hum softly in agreement, hiding your face on jungkook’s chest so he won’t see you yawn.

you’re so adorable, he thinks to himself with a grin.

matching his outfits with you in preparation for his travels has always been one of the little ways you spend quality time together. yes, you will be physically apart for most of this year and the next… but if he just pushes that fact in the back of his mind for an hour or two so he can make you laugh with his purposely horrendous choices, he thinks he may be able to leave with a lighter heart.

one last kiss is granted to your forehead, and you nuzzle your cheeks against his warm hands to cherish every ounce of his touch you can manage to steal.

you peek from the small space of the door to smile at your lover, which he then returns rife with fondness. you wave and bid your silly bye bye’s to each other, and it’s you who ultimately closes the door despite the voice in your head bewailing its protests.

it creates a clicking sound as you push it all the way, and after that, the defeaning silence fills your apartment like a toxic gas that makes it impossible to breathe. with no other soul left to witness it, your walls involuntarily come crumbling down. your eyes become blurry with unshed tears, and they fall one by one, some getting caught by your eyelashes. they hang heavy until they inevitably roll down your cheeks, as if they’re desperate not to crash and break, as if they’re horrified of their fate towards doom… much like you are.

recognizing the sensation of your weak knees threatening to give way, you lean your forehead on the hardwood to relieve some of the weight burdening your shoulders.

your chores have piled up while you were recklessly spending every second you had left with your boyfriend. you have better things to do than to cry. however, you can’t control your face that contorts to express the pain of having your heart mercilessly squeezed in your chest, tighter and tighter as the distance between you and jungkook grows, and it will only continue to do so.

you wind up as a heap on the floor, an intricate collection of love yet to be given and shards of memories calamitous and beautiful, knees hugged to your chest as you weep.

you swore you wouldn’t do this. you fucking swore you wouldn’t do this to yourself.

since losing your family, you’ve been alone, trying to survive in this world like a leaf in the eye of a storm, carried by a raging river that travels to an unknown sea. you then promised that no matter how much you affection you’ve grown to have for someone, if there comes a time that they make you feel lonely (skin-on-skin or heart-to-heart), you will be the one to walk away first. even if it hurts, even if it leaves you empty inside. for one, you’ve never liked wasting your time. you know what you want and what you need— someone who will stay within reach. your day-to-day life is far too draining for you to find the energy to beg for love and attention… and for the love of god, there’s already too many people you wish were still by your side.

your friends have witnessed you annihilate hearts and egos, leaving behind a string of jaded lovers.

but jungkook, with his bunny-like smile and endless gestures of kindness… has somehow slithered his way into a space in your heart where no one has ever been.

the apartment feels too empty with him not around. he’s not knocking rhythmically at your door from the inside to announce his arrival. he’s not in the kitchen humming songs while chopping vegetables. he’s not in the shower yelling at you because you forgot that turning on the sink makes his water cold. he’s not in the living room watching a movie on your laptop. he’s not snuggled closely with you and snoring execessively by your ear.

it’s going to be like this for a while. it’s always going to be like this, you realize.

you’re so fucking lonely.

you’ve only gotten used to him being here, and now you need to re-learn what it’s like to be without him.

you’re forced to gasp for air as you sob uncontrollably, interrupted by occasional hiccups that make your body jolt. you taste the salt in your tears as they seep into the crevice between your lips, can feel them beginning to poison your skin.

you let jungkook come too close. he slept on your bed and he learned that you’re always cold. he enveloped you in the safety of his warm embrace and you couldn’t will yourself to leave after the first time. you’ve surrendered to him the control over your body, and also your heart, which you may be breaking alongside your rule but… walking away would mean forsaking yourself.

for the first time, you are crying not because of the absence of love, but the abundance of it. humans are essentially a collection of dead stars that are brought back to life when they are consumed by the electric ache of love and yearning. you are addicted to the antidote that is the touch of another body that burns the same.

you’re free falling.

if you were to choose the cause of your madness, you would choose this.

because for the first time, you are not cursing a name, but the universe and its twisted ways. in your one-bedroom apartment, you don’t feel small; your arrogance is as big as the sun that threatens to swallow the earth whole. the empty space on your bed is now in the shape of the man who loves you.

the back of your head hits the door, and you sigh at the new predicament that presents itself to you: the fluorescent lightbulb at your doorway is flickering as if to signal its impending death.

your bad vision begs you to look away.

it’s too high. it’s too high for you to reach. jungkook isn’t here anymore.

you bury your face in your hands, another wave of tears spilling over before you could get a hold of yourself. your cries are unapologetic; you sound like a little child who got their hair pulled at the playground.

you would much rather wait for him than find a solution. you want to bear the weight of him in every possible way there is. you want to have him in mind every time you flip the light switch, because you always seem to forget that it’s dying after a long day at school.

but for now, all you can do is sit on the floor and smell his perfume on your clothes as you wait for his call.

—

jungkook is still frozen on the driver’s seat, struck with a suspicion that he left something behind in your apartment, but he can’t figure out what else there is besides his heart in the palm of your hands.

he opens up every single compartment of his backpack, but he soon carelessly discards it at the backseat because he has no idea what it is he’s even looking for.

“what is it? what is it? what is it?” he mutters absentmindedly to himself, wide doe eyes still actively darting around the car as he mulls over what could possibly be missing. “am i an idiot? am i just making things up in my head?”

but he is leaving for tour after all, it would be a big headache if he forgets to bring something important.

something important such as…

proceeding with a final inspection, he starts patting around his body, from his chest down to the pockets of his sweatpants.

“ahhh-” he makes a noise of enlightenment when he discovers one of them to be completely empty.

it then becomes vivid in his mind— the memory of him lazily setting down his wallet on your study table before he crawled on your single-sized bed as if it’s his own.

“…shit. i need to go back.”

—

he has a smirk plastered on his face as he jogs his way up to your apartment floor. radiating with pure excitement unbeknownst to himself, he even begins to skip a step with every long stride he makes across the staircase.

thanks to his forgetfulness, he found an excuse to be with you for a few minutes more.

the fourth door straight ahead, he still remembers chanting in his head the first time he visited your building on his own.

he stands before it with the intention to surprise you, but ironically, he is the one who ends up freezing in place. your muffled sobs escape through the narrow cracks of the door, and his hand slowly slips away from the handle until it drops back to his side. his vision becomes unfocused, mind going blank, only registering the shortness of his breath and the powerful punch to his gut.

that sweet, heart-fluttering smile that comforted him must’ve killed you inside.

—

“i won’t forget to call after every show.”

“that does sound nice but…” you scrunch your nose cutely. “i won’t be upset, if that’s what you’re worried about. go straight to sleep when you’re exhausted. i know you won’t have much time to rest.”

“please! you can watch me sleep too.” he pouts. “you know i always make it work. while i eat, while i shower! that won’t change. i need to see you and gain strength… or else i seriously think i won’t survive this one.”

and jungkook hopes that he’s not too much of a burden for loving you.

although, you did tell him once in passing— that anyone can be passionate, but not everyone will bravely go on stage every night to showcase those passions, even if it means testing the very limits of the human body.

“i can’t allow that to happen, can i?” you click your tongue, copying the angry frown of your boyfriend, who you find so, so, so cool.

his features soften after you pinch his soft cheek.

“your hyungs might kill me if i make their little one mope around missing me too much.”

“w-what do you mean?” he becomes flushed with embarrassment. “what kind of things do they tell you?!”

“nothing much.” your eyes shine with a glint of faux innocence. “when we were trainees, jungkook did this… since meeting you, he’s gotten more stubborn… can you tell him to wake up earlier if he plans on showering for an hour? you know, just things like that.”

“aish! jimin-hyung!” he releases a deep sigh to express his exasperation, knitted forehead not doing much to diminish the roundness of his eyes. “i bet one of them is jimin-hyung! i’m right, aren’t i? you- you’re getting too close with him! i can’t allow this- really, i- ah! no! no!”

the burst of laughter that fills the room only confirms his suspicion. you roll over on the bed to cover your face, half of your body collapsing on top of his, and you clutch your aching belly when he begins to aggressively shake you in a joking manner.

“listen, you can’t become best friends! you hear me? don’t! my secrets… what’s going to happen to them? who else can i tell them to?!”

immediately recognizing his poor choice of words once they have left his mouth, jungkook purses his lips in regret, and it’s his turn to feel his lungs burn from the lack of oxygen.

“oh, really?” you slowly sit up as you stare at him with raised eyebrows. “and what kind of secrets do you need to keep from me? huh?”

he doesn’t waste a second to reply, scrambling as to not leave any space for you to formulate more doubts in your head.

“nothing! nothing, baby!” he flashes a dreamy smile in return to your sharp glare. he gently cups the back of your head to pull you back closer, puckering his lips as he tries to meet you halfway. “come here- give me a kiss.”

you ignore his advances, moving away from him with a scoff you don’t even bother to hide. the annoyance bubbling up inside of you feels irrational, and yet you can’t stop it from controlling your body language.

his jaw slacks in disappointment. he despises being denied affection, more importantly, a kiss meant to be shared with you.

“are you mad?”

you turn your back against him, scooting closer to the edge of the bed, but jungkook doesn’t waste time in chasing after you.

“baby!” he whines, seizing your arm and tightly embracing you from the side before you can escape. “i was just joking- i promise- i swear. you’re even the first person i share my secrets with nowadays!”

you sigh in defeat, eyes fluttering shut as you allow him to caress your face and pepper your cheek with loving kisses. loud, and slightly wet, which you used to not be fond of when it came to the lovers you had before, but as for jungkook and his dewy lips, you weirdly don’t seem to mind.

“please don’t be mad.” he coos lightheartedly before ducking his head to press his lips against yours. “i don’t want us to fight before i go.”

“i’m not mad.” your reply is quiet, and it drips with hesitance. “i just don’t want to think about you having secrets while you’re away.”

you turn to communicate directly with his eyes. if you feel sick to your stomach imagining him as a person you’d never have the grace to forgive, you don’t show it.

“you understand where i’m coming from, right?”

he meekly nods.

this is another reason why he is eager to spend all his free time with you, albeit through a screen smaller than the palm of his hand, and perhaps buy you trinkets from every city that welcomes him because everything reminds him of you. he wants to give you the reassurance that he doesn’t have any plans on doing something that may hurt you. this will be excruciating, he knows, but it is also a chance to prove himself as a boyfriend worthy of your tears and sacrifices. this can’t end before it begins. he doesn’t think he’d be able to bear that. he just celebrated his first birthday with you. it hasn’t been long since you uttered the three words he’s been anxiously waiting to hear.

“i love you. please give me your trust for now… i won’t waste it. you’ll see, at the end of this, we’ll be stronger. i promise i won’t forget my responsibilities as your partner even if we’re physically apart.”

he tenderly strokes your hair, eyes filled with galaxies memorizing every inch of your face. he’s scared, too. he’s scared that he’s overestimating himself. too ambitious, too greedy for wanting both the world and the most beautiful person he has ever seen in it to love him. he’s scared of getting too exhausted. he’s scared that you won’t be there anymore when he opens his eyes.

“i will probably mope around, though, missing you too much…” he pauses, then he makes up his mind.

him getting more stubborn since he met you— it might just have some truth to it that he’s too sheepish to say out loud, especially if his members were around to hear it.

“yes, i will seriously be a handful.” he nods to himself. “so i’m already apologizing early.”

“what are those responsibilities exactly?”

“to show you that i love you!” he exclaims in a tone that screams obviously. “to make you happy, to keep you safe… to stay committed to you- yah, you already know these things!”

but still, it’s nice to hear him say it. this bed of roses is a bed of thorns; he has chosen to sleep on it with you.

you giggle heartily at the sight of his face getting flushed. “you’ve been doing a great job then, baby.”

the praise causes his doe eyes to sparkle with glee. “really?”

“really!” his heart skips a beat when you softly cup his face in your hands, wearing that kind smile he can’t help but fall in love with over and over again. “don’t worry, i won’t let you miss me too much. i have my share of the responsibilities too.”

—

he swallows the lump in his throat, shakily sitting on the floor with his back against the door. he doesn’t know how long he stays there. he only knows that it’s near sunrise because the lights across the hallways have gone out one by one.

with an elbow resting on top of his knee, he fiddles with the laces of his shoe with no rhythm or rhyme— silently crying with you, clueless as to what he should do. he didn’t learn about this in school, nor during dance practices. no one teaches you what to do when you hurt a person you love but there’s no fault to fix and apologize for.

every now and then, a tenant passes by, and he is overwhelmed with the urge to scream at them to fuck off and mind their own business.

adding to his frustration is his phone, which has been vibrating with calls and text messages. he only spares them a dismissive glance before clicking the off button. yes, he fucking knows it’s already 5am. yes, he’s still with his baby. however, he is forced to send a reply to his manager when asked if they could finish packing his luggages for him to save time. no. no, no, no.

on the other side of the door, the pitter-patter of mechanical rain tickles your ears. your nimble fingers doesn’t cease on tapping on the keyboard even as your eyes stray to the contact name above the conversation, just to make sure that it’s your boyfriend you’re texting.

to: my jungkook

babyyy the sun is about to rise

so i’m not sleepy anymore :(

you're not home yet?

wait. if you're still driving just reply later

be a good driver before a good bf for now ☺️

ohoh i don’t mind if you don't have time to call anymore. just text me rq before you take off pleaseee so i know you're safe and sound

and after the flight ofc!! 😭

i love you! ❤️

seconds later, a pounding at the door makes your body jolt in shock. you carelessly rush to stand up, the safety measure of looking through the peephole not even crossing your mind before you swing it open.

jungkook stuns you with his presence, chest heaving with every breath as he studies you in a fog of haze. your messy hair perfectly frames your pretty face. your parted lips are raw from the crime of your sharp teeth forcibly putting an end to your crying. your eyes are still damp with tears, and they shine every time the warm light hanging above your head flickers.

if you could only read his mind, you won’t have to worry about him wanting anybody else.

once again, he finds himself helplessly infatuated. why do you have to look utterly bewitching even when you cry? fuck, and your texts… how did he get so lucky? you fuel something carnal inside of him that he has difficulty putting into words.

and so, he allows his actions to speak for himself.

“jungk-” his name is interrupted with a high-pitched whimper caught in your throat. your trembling hands desperately grasp the sides of his hoodie as you stumble backwards, struggling to recriprocate the unrestrained fervour of his kisses.

he’s out of control. he has never kissed you like this before. you don’t know if he doesn’t feel your weak fists punching his chest or he just doesn’t care. you feel dizzy… dizzy, dizzy, dizzy.

you’re confused why he’s still standing at your doorway. you’re terrified of losing your balance. you’re crushing a pair of sneakers underneath the soles of your feet and it hurts. but his fingers are tightly tangled with your hair, the others playing a saccharine hymn along the keys of your spine, and for the pleasure he gives, you can endure to live with the pain.

the familiar taste of mint on his tongue is far too addictive for you not to indulge. you can’t stop craving for more of it, more of him, and you let your lungs burn.

but soon it mixes with the salt in his tears as his emotions crash on the shore like a tsunami. the seal of your lips is broken by a quiet sob, and in shame, he ends the kiss to bury his face in the crook of your neck.

“____, what do i do? i don’t want to leave.”

your heart shatters into pieces as he sniffles, voice cracking as he musters up the courage to confess to you in between.

“jungkook…”

the words of sincerity feel heavy on his tongue. he’s never been good at this; always relied on his ability to feel. in spite of that, he wants to bare all of himself to you, and he prays that you believe him when he says- “i can’t imagine my life without you anymore.”

“so don’t. you don’t have to think about things like that.” you sigh as you wrap your arms around his shoulders, subtly swaying your bodies to soothe him. “come on, love. why are you crying…? you know where to find me, don’t you?”

you feel him nod before he mumbles pensively. “here… or school, or the restobar.”

“that’s right.” you chuckle. “just don’t lose your key. i’m not going anywhere.”

but he fears it’s his goddamn mind he might just lose. he squeezes his eyes shut, embracing you tighter as he counts the seconds in his head. he will let go after thirty, then perhaps he will stay for another ten.

in another lifetime, jungkook wishes that he could tell you the same.

—

taglist in the reblogs! send an ask/dm if you want to be added (or removed) :D

—

#jungkook #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook drabble #jungkook scenario #jungkook imagine #jungkook fic #jungkook fanfic #jungkook one shot #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #bts fluff #bts reaction #jungkook smut

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sharp-edges · 14 days

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I’m sorry but the whole Connor Bedard having an allergic reaction because his trainer wouldn’t let him have fast food reminds me of when sdpn said that Bedard’s mom said he’s never had fast food before and like she said she knew eventually and it IS good for him to not have fast food, but it makes me think of diet culture and eating disorders. Like the no fast food thing still leaves a variety of food, and I’m sure he’s had pizza before; it’s really the fact that he couldn’t even have pizza ONE time with his team because his trainer wanted him to ‘eat healthy’ for the game (guess what due pizza is healthier than having an allergic reaction). Even if he had been on a crazy strict diet and got sick because his body wasn’t used to what’s in pizza, it’d still be healthier than an allergic reaction (and again, clearly he doesn’t care about Connor’s health just what he can do for the trainer’s image because he let him play the game and did care at all about how bad Connor was feeling.)

Like the obsession with food to the point you can’t eat xyz even once is eating disorder behavior, and I think the fact that players have to eat more than non/athletes and are expected/desire to get bigger is one of the reasons why eating disorders aren’t as common, but imagine how this messes with their heads. Like people who are like “oh my trainer is going to be mad at me for eating xyz one time don’t tell them” is like K-pop idols with management that pushed eating disorders to keep idols’ bodies marketable territory. NHL players are adults and now one should care about their diet to the point that they get mad at them for having one meal that goes against their nutrition plan. They are adults who make their own decisions and nutrition plans should a guideline to help players get what they need not a list of DO NOT EAT THIS foods or specific foods they have to eat.

(Also I think the nhl’s concept of ‘team’ is a little too close to the corporate ‘family’ which is always used to dehumanize employees and get them to give up their free time/health/family/identity for the benefit of the corporations bottom line that is never payed back to the employees. Like yes there’s the team as in the players, but there’s also that concept of team that is the pressure to get players to hurt themselves to win and shut up if they experience discrimination and also to shut up if they disagree with the nhl’s safety protocols that aren’t even follow a lot of the time.)

you said everything wonderfully, the ONLY thing i have to add, is this HEARTBREAKING quote.

"people close to him aren't sure he's ever had a cookie"

in fact that article is chock full of the MOST concerning quotes about a hockey player i have ever fucking read, "highlights include" connor stays long after practice and replies "im working" when people try and get him off the ice, when they think he's over working himself they hide his sticks because he's too superstitious to use someone else's (they have done this... multiple times), he tried to convince the coaching staff to let him play though his broken jaw because chara did so during the finals in 2019, he drank as much food and supplements as he could so he wouldn't lose weight while his jaw was still wired shut.

and yes 10000000000 fucking %, the leagues "we're a family" is NASTY, no!!! NO YOU AREN'T!!!!!! stop trying to be "a family" and start trying to be a GOOD EMPLOYER!!!!!!!

#okay maybe i added a bit more then just the quote #asks #connor bedard

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twinsimming · 2 years

Text

Yoga Mod by Twinsimming & Alunn 🧘🏾‍♀️

This mod brings the yoga activity from The Sims 4: Spa Day to The Sims 3. Originally created by Alunn, I recently took over to add additional features and bring it to release!

This is a script mod that can be placed in your Packages folder. It was built and tested on 1.69 but should work fine on 1.67.

Overview

New Object: Yoga Mat

4 New Interactions

49 Converted Animations

10 Yoga Poses

Objects

Entertainment -> Sporting Goods

The Perfect Yoga Mat: two channels | §130 |

Zen Again Yoga Mat: two channels | §125 |

| All TS4 presets included and base game compatible |

The yoga mat is draggable in Live Mode and can be placed in a sim’s personal or family inventory.

Yoga Mat

Using any of the yoga mat interactions will build the Athletic skill (except for Children), though some more slowly than others. As your sim’s skill increases, they will learn new yoga poses and improve on their execution of previous ones.

A sim’s Athletic skill also determines how long they can use the mat before becoming Fatigued* (anywhere from 4-7 hours):

Skill Level 1-3 (Poor/Novice): 4 hours

Skill Level 4-6 (Normal): 5 hours

Skill Level 7-9 (Skilled): 6 hours

Skill Level 10 (Expert): 7 hours

*Children will always get Fatigued after 3 hours.

Your sim won’t gain muscle, lose weight, or become more fit from using the mat, but they will fulfill any generic workout related wishes. And sims won’t lose Hygiene as fast as they would using other athletic equipment.

Sims aged Teen and up will switch into their athletic outfit, take off their shoes before using the mat, and put them back on when finished. Children will switch into their athletic outfit, but leave their shoes on.

Pregnant sims can use the mat in any trimester!

Interactions

Practice Yoga (Child and Up): Raises Athletic skill, gives sims the Tranquil moodlet after 2 hours, small boost to Fun need

Do Yoga Routine… (Teen and Up):

Stress Relieving (Level 3 Athletic Skill): Boosts Fun need, gives Tranquil moodlet, slowly raises Athletic skill, can be used even when sims have the Stressed moodlet

Mind Balancing (Level 5 Athletic Skill): Boosts Social need, gives Tranquil moodlet, small boost to Fun need, slowly raises Athletic skill

Energy Centering (Level 7 Athletic Skill): Boosts Energy need. gives Tranquil moodlet, small boost to Fun need, slowly raises Athletic skill

By default, yoga routines will only boost their specific needs up to half way, so don't think your sims can forgo a good night's rest or talking to a friend in favor of a tree pose or two!

Poses

Boat Pose

Bridge Pose

Downward Facing Dog

Half Moon Pose

Handstand

Lord of the Dance Pose

Side Plank Pose

Tree Pose

Triangle Pose

Warrior Pose

Autonomy

Sims with the Athletic skill, Martial Arts skill, Athletic trait, or the Disciplined trait will be drawn to use the mat autonomously. Sims will also be drawn to the mat when it is placed on a Gym, Dojo, or Chinese Garden lot type.

Tuning

All of the following values are tunable in the mod’s XML file:

Minutes to Add Fatigued Poor/Novice, Normal, Skilled, and Expert

Minutes to Add Fatigued Child

Minutes to Add Tranquil

Conflicts & Known Issues

- As this is a brand new scripted object, there shouldn’t be any conflicts.

- Teen sims sink a bit into the mat on certain animations because The Sims 4 doesn’t have shorter teens to convert animations from.

- If a laundry basket/washer/dryer has been placed on the lot, when sims take off their shoes to use the yoga mat, a pile of clothing will spawn.

Supported Languages

English

French (thank you MissPat!)

Brazilian Portuguese (thank you CupcakeLeaf and cabrera80!) [Added 11/5/22]

European Portuguese (thank you David Manaia!) [Added 11/8/22]

Credits

EA/Maxis for The Sims 3 and The Sims 4, Visual Studio 2019, ILSpy, SmoothJazz, Blender, s3pe, TSRW, Sims4Studio, Milkshape, and Gimp.

Thank You

First and foremost, I want to thank Alunn for kick-starting this mod and allowing me to continue improving it!

Thank you @greenplumbboblover and @zoeoe-sims for helping with the early programming. Thank you mbottle, Jathom95 and @enable--llamas for being early testers in the beta thread.

And to all of the folks in the Sims 3 Creator Discord who helped me with coding, animations, ideas, and testing: thank you Battery, @flotheory, TheSweetSimmer, and @misspats3!

Download @ ModTheSims

#sims 3 #ts3 #sims 3 mods #ts3 mod #download #my cc #my mods #yoga mod

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brf-rumortrackinganon · 1 month

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What’s your pov on her pregnancies? Of the body or surrogate?

I'm opening Pandora's Box tonight in honor of the eclipse.

I'm 80/20.

20% of the body because:

There are tiny skinny-Minnie people in my family who didn't gain any weight during their pregnancies except in their faces and in the baby bumps (as photographs of Meghan depict), so I know it's possible.

That one appearance of Meghan where she accompanied Harry but hid backstage until he cajoled her out. She was not looking her best that day (very puffy, bloated face) and seemed a bit angry, to me, at being called out/forced onto the stage to stay hello.

Padding the bump - which some celebs do, especially when their bump isn't the typical "cute" baby belly - can explain the difference in sizing day-to-day.

How early it was announced.

How long it took Meghan to lose the baby weight - she was still carrying a lot of extra weight at Trooping 2019 (and the weight gain was amplified for me by poor styling choices with her hair, hat, and outfit).

80% surrogacy because:

There was no PR about Meghan's pregnancy compared to Kate's, and Meghan has always done the "anything Kate can do I can do better" PR competition every chance she could. If Meghan had terrible morning sickness, it'd have been all over the tabloids about how much worse than Kate Meghan's morning sickness is. If Meghan didn't have any sickness, it'd have been all over the tabloids about how much better and hard-working Meghan is during her pregnancy.

The excessive belly-groping and coat-flicking. Yes, she was doing that on purpose to get all the cameras and attention, but IMO she was doing it so excessively that it crossed into "the lady doth protest too much" territory for me.

The bending over and squatting down with knees and feet together. I've never been pregnant but I am a bigger girl who carries her weight in her midsection and who also cannot bend or squat down with knees, ankles, and feet together.

The alleged deal she had with Trevor that if she had a baby, he would pay for a personal trainer and a nutritionist and a nanny so she could whip her body back into shape. That's not someone who wants to be pregnant (but of course, people *can* change their minds. But still.)

The "rules of engagement" that Meghan and Harry sent to their Windsor neighbors/community about how the neighbors couldn't speak to the Sussexes or take their photographs.

The inconsistencies between what Harry reported in Spare and what the Portland Hospital's actual procedures are and the people who were involved.

Meghan choosing to deliver at Portland instead of Lindo and refusing to serve the baby on a silver platter after birth. The Lindo photocall is one of Diana's five* iconic photos. Are you telling me that Meghan happily copies Diana's outfits, copies Diana's pregnancy woes (emotional/mental distress to the point of self-harm), copies Diana's complaints about the BRF and the grey suits, copies Diana's second pregnancy announcement, and copies Diana's Panorama makeup...but she draws the line at copying Diana's Lindo photoshoots? And has a controlled photoshoot with one television camera and one photographer instead?

Meghan's birth "stories" matching more of the American Hollywood stereotypes than actual British practice.

Just one papwalk during all of her second pregnancy.

Hiding her belly with a giant-ass purse during the NYC baby shower after having spent the evening partying with friends, including Markus Anderson.

Harry's first appearance after Archie's birth being in the horse stables at Windsor instead of around the hospital (as William and Charles had been) and also Harry's "babies change so much in two weeks" comment.

Tacky social media influencer games with Archie's first photos under the guise of "privacy" - showing us the back of his head first, or his hand or his foot. Just show us the damn baby. No one cares about him that much.

Editing Archie's birth certificate.

Sara Latham bungling the media strategy for Archie's birth announcement. (Let's be real here. It's not Kensington Palace that fucked it up. It was the Sussexes' own people giving KP the wrong information in the first place.)

In the same vein of Meghan's "anything Kate can do I can do better" PR competition, there have been no stories about how Meghan felt of the early baby days. Kate and her family/friends have gone on record about how difficult the first few weeks with George were. Where is Meghan's equivalent? If Archie was a terrible newborn, then where are the stories about how much worse than Kate Meghan had it? Or if Archie was a happy, easy newborn, then where are the stories about how easy Meghan found motherhood? Instead the only story we got was "oops, it's feed time. Gotta go. Peace."

How early the pregnancy was announced.

How quickly (and suspiciously) the clinic/practice that Meghan used for her second pregnancy closed soon after Lili was born.

On that note, I don't subscribe to the theory that a lot of you may have (and which has ended up in my inbox quite a few times) that Archie doesn't know who Meghan is because he didn't smell her milk in South Africa and had a reaction. First off, PLEASE stop sending me that. I REALLY don't want to read about Meghan's breasts anymore.

Second, I don't think the Sussexes having nannies to help care for Archie is the kiss of death that many of you think it is. Some people just aren't baby people or little kid people. Some people like the older years better, when the kid can talk and is a little more independent and mobile. I've always suspected that that's Meghan and Harry, because all of their PR about wanting kids or liking kids has alwas featured older school-aged kids. They're not baby/toddler/early years people. And that's OK. That's not something to condemn them for.

And I don't think it's fully fair to call them out on their hypocrisy of what they said they wouldn't do as parents before they had children. Some of the hypocrisy is deserved (like the comment about not dressing their kids as Victorian ghost children but then turning around and giving Lili a Victorian ghost child dress for her 1st birthday photo), but they do deserve more grace than they're sometimes given; people just don't know how hard parenting or having children is until the baby is here. Yes, ding them for saying they'd never have a nanny but then turning around and hiring two or three, but also let's acknowledge that they know they can't (or don't, or won't, however you want to say it) care for their own kids themselves and hired responsible caretakers.

Finally third, I don't think Meghan ever breastfed those kids. Maybe she tried in the beginning with Archie, but if she did, she gave up pretty quickly. Those kids are formula babies. That's OK! So I don't buy the theory she was taking hormones and her weight gain was hormone-induced. Again, it's because of the missing "anything Kate can do I can do better" competition here.

*Diana's top 5 iconic photos are (in no particular order) the wedding dress portrait, the Lindo photos, the Taj Mahal photo, the Panorama photo, and the Revenge Dress photo.

#ask #sussexes #brf #theories

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powerfultipsforyourhealth · 1 year

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The 12 easiest ways to lose weight

Many people develop an increase in body weight in middle age, and it occurs gradually, somewhat imperceptible. Of course, some resort to strict diet or exercise, but some attempts fail due to the nature of the busy lifestyle, family and social commitments, and working hours.

Two new studies offer a glimmer of hope in the form of small changes approaches to weight loss and improved health, with firm promise of promising scientifically grounded results.

In her research study, Professor Amanda Daly, a professor of behavioral medicine at Loughborough University, and her research team analyzed data from 19 trials involving more than 3,000 people to see if a simple microapproach yields enough changes to help maintain a healthy weight or lose excess weight. The results showed that participants who adhered to the approach of small changes – such as walking 1,000 extra steps a day or cutting 100-200 calories by choosing healthier alternatives to highly processed, sugary and high-calorie-rich foods lost about 1 kg less compared to those who did not follow these methods over eight to 14 months. While the amount doesn't seem great, Professor Daly says it was enough to stave off weight gain.

Small goals that are easy to achieve

Professor Daly said: "Adult weight gain is not usually the result of a short lack of exercise and excessive intake, but rather rather the result of a gradual decrease in activity levels and increased energy intake, the effects of which are cumulative and affect over time.

Professor Daly adds that providing guidelines that ask people to make big changes to their health, such as cutting calories by 500 or more a day or taking 10,000 steps from the starting point from scratch, requires a lot and may be better to "make them realize that it's only good to make one small change the first time and gain confidence in achieving it," noting that "big changes, by their very nature, make it difficult for some to achieve."

Small changes in food

In the second scientific study, published in the journal Nature Food, researchers from the University of Michigan reported how small changes in food choices can also help get extra minutes of healthy living. By classifying 5,800 foods according to their "dietary burden of disease," the researchers found, for example, that a small dietary shift such as eating 30 grams of nuts and seeds a day provides a 25-minute gain from healthy living — as expected from During an increase in disease-free life expectancy. "The message from researchers now is that doing small things, being physically active, eating a little better, and turning ideas into an initial change approach can make a difference to human health, and it's also a stimulus that can drive thinking about bigger changes in the long term," says Daly.

Simple methods of motor activity

1- Strengthen the gluteal muscles while sitting

A 2019 study from Wichita State University, published in the journal Peer J, showed that pressing the gluteal muscles in the buttocks while sitting in a chair can enhance strength and endurance, and possibly reduce the risk of injury. Study participants were asked to sit up straight in a chair — hips and knees at right angles, knees shoulder-width and feet apart — and squeeze the glutes as hard as possible for five seconds before relaxing and repeating. The exercise does not require any weights Or training tools. After eight weeks of doing this for an accumulated 15 minutes per day, one doesn't even need to do them all at once, lab test results showed that it increased gluteal muscle strength by 16% compared to an 11% increase in the control group that was asked to do the same amount of conventional gluteal bridge exercises.

2- Jump 10 times twice a day

The slightest amount of exercise can make a difference when it comes to maintaining bone strength throughout life, balancing the risk of osteoporosis. For an experiment, published in the American Journal of Health Promotion, 60 premenopausal women aged 25 to 50 were asked to perform 10 or 20 jumps with 30 seconds of rest between jumps, twice a day for 16 weeks, to see how they affected their bones. The results showed that daily jumping led to a 0.5 percent increase in bone density, while the control group that did not jump showed a 1.3 percent reduction in bone density during the four-month trial.

3- Reduce 10% of red and processed meat

In a study conducted by the University of Michigan, calculations by researchers revealed that for every gram of processed meat a person consumes, 0.45 minutes of their lifespan are lost. If a person eats a lot of red or processed meat, the researchers' advice is to replace 10% with a combination of whole grains, fruits, vegetables, nuts and legumes, which can add 48 minutes of healthier life.

4- Climb 4 groups of stairs in less than a minute

Last year, researchers at the European Society of Cardiology conference reported that being able to climb four steps of stairs, equivalent to 60 steps, in less than a minute is a strong predictor of good heart health. Study author Jesús Petero, a cardiologist at the University Hospital of a Spanish Coruña, says: "If it takes you more than a minute and a half to climb four steps on the stairs, your health is suboptimal, and it would be good to consult a doctor."

5- Jumping rope for 10 minutes a day

Daily jumping for ten minutes over 6 weeks has been shown to lead to improvements in cardiovascular health, equivalent to what is benefited by running for 30 minutes a day, in addition to strengthening bones.

6- Spend 60 minutes outdoors

Getting out of the house for an hour a day is, in short, the exact translation for better health, according to the results of a study to be published in the December issue of the journal Affective Disorders. Sean Cain, an assistant professor of psychology at Monash University in Australia, studied the effects of daylight exposure on the mood and health of more than 400,000 participants at Biobank in the UK. He discovered that adults in the UK, on average, spend about 2.5 hours of daylight outside, and that each hour of daylight exposure is associated with easier morning wakefulness and reduced overall fatigue. Kane says: "Getting bright light in the day is just as important as avoiding light at night to sleep."

7- 1000 additional steps per day

Instead of targeting 10,000 steps or more, start by recording an additional 1,000 steps per day. Henrietta Graham, a researcher in sports and exercise science at Loughborough University and colleagues, and the lead researcher on the latest scientific study, says. "People who do a low step count per day and who try to accomplish 10,000 steps per day from day one are more likely to give up." Even this added step, just 1,000, will pay off. In May, researchers from the University of North Carolina conducted a study on the walking habits of 16,732 women age 60 or older. Presenting their findings at the American Heart Association's Conference on Epidemiology, Prevention, Lifestyle, Heart Health and Cardiac Metabolism, they showed that, compared to women who did not take daily steps, each initial increase of 1,000 steps per day was associated with a 28 percent lower risk of dying during the eight-year follow-up period, and women who took more than 2,000 steps a day in continuous shifts had a 32 percent lower risk of death. You can walk for two minutes every hour of the workday, about 20 minutes a day, a goal that a team from the University of Utah School of Medicine showed was associated with a 33% lower risk of death.

8- Jog for 5 minutes

Prof Dali says you can start by setting small goals before aspiring to run marathons "over distances of about 10km or more". Small, consistent but moderate exercise patterns can make all the difference. One study, published in the Journal of the American College of Cardiology, involving 55,137 adults showed that running at a manageable pace for just five minutes a day was associated with an increased lifespan of an adult by about three years.

9- Commit to 20-second training doses

If you really can't find the time (or motivation) to exercise, the practice of taking light infusions is something to think about. Martin Gibala, professor of kinesiology at McMaster University in Canada and principal investigator of a study on light training doses, found that just 20 seconds of strenuous exertion, like climbing 60 steps three times a day, resulted in a 5 percent increase in fitness and an improvement in leg muscle strength after six weeks. Graham says that just as much activity will help: "You can walk or run around, anything that makes you breathe hard will be helpful. Any amount of activity is better than nothing."

10- Practice yoga for 15 minutes daily

If one can't commit to a 90-minute yoga class, start with 15 minutes of simple exercise, and you'll get major benefits. A study, published in the Journal of the American College of Cardiology, reported how yoga and deep breathing for a quarter of an hour reduced blood pressure by 10 percent as well as a heart rate reduction for at least 24 hours in a group of 78 patients with mild hypertension.

11- Stand on one leg for 20 seconds daily

By the time a person reaches the age of twenties, there are about 70,000 specialized neurons, motor neurons, concentrated in the lower part of the spinal cord, which connects with the leg muscles to control balance. But researchers at Manchester Metropolitan University have shown that by the age of 75, 40 per cent of these motor neurons are lost even in the fittest individuals. The result is a deterioration in coordination of movement and balance. While young people can stand on one leg, with their eyes closed, for 30 seconds, the average age of 70 can only hold up for four to five seconds. But the time period can be improved with practice. The goal should initially be to stand on one leg for 20 seconds daily, then it develops gradually and the exercise is repeated with the eyes closed. "You can stand on one leg while brushing your teeth or waiting for the water to boil [to make tea or coffee," says Graham.

12- Lifting weights for 13 minutes

Not everyone needs or can head to the gym just to train to lift weights in low doses for short periods. Indeed, exercise physiologists at Lehman College in New York have figured out the possibility of not going to gym training and achieving good results, asking participants in a scientific study to perform 8 to 12 repetitions of exercise with weights in three weekly sessions, and lifting them until their muscles are too tired to do anything else. While the researchers asked some to perform five sets of each in a 70-minute gym session, they assigned other participants to do just three sets of 40 minutes and do one set of each exercise, and the gym group spent only about 13 minutes doing weightlifting. Two months later, the researchers revealed that strength gains were similar across all groups and that those who did the fast-paced exercise for 13 minutes in the gym had similar results to those who exercised at home for longer periods of time and training sessions.......read more

🤰🤱🙋‍♂️🧗‍♂️

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preciousthingsareprecious · 11 months

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Fic List Part 2

Okay so I have...a lot of fics apparently soo...this list will be more than two parts as I find stuff. This starts at 2019 and goes through roughly part of 2022. Please forgive me if there’s dupes or I forgot something that is your fav. Tumblr’s search feature even for me finding my own fics is...a mess

Part 1 of the Fic List

Master List (with AO3 Links)

Those Days We Miss

Damian dealing with missing Talia

Out Here Together

Dick teaching Damian about s’mores, connected to All the Fears will Pass but readable on it’s own

Love so Soft

Bruce Teaching Damian how to do s’mores! Spiritual sequel to Dick teaching him the same thing

All the Fears Will Pass

Dick and Damian, Damian tangling with Ivy for the first time

Alfred & Damian fluff

As the Years go By

Bruce being a Dad over Dick growing up

Of Baskets and Braids

Bruce, Dick, and Damian fluff, watching youtube and being a fam

Be There, For Me

Bruce and Damian, Damian having some flashbacks and Bruce taking care of him

Hearts Pounding and Blood Coursing

Robin and Batgirl have to save Batman (Dick!) from Scarecrow

Lego Land

Damian winning at Legos

Safe Together

Dick and Damian and fear toxin trapped in a grain silo

Down Here Below

Damian trying to disarm underwater bombs

And they Dig

Damian is kidnapped and stuck waiting around for rescue

Deterrent

Dick and Damian get hit with pollen that makes them unable to touch each other and they’re trapped in a collapsed building!

Laced Drink

Damian at a Gala and getting kidnapped.

Bleeding Out

https://preciousthingsareprecious.tumblr.com/post/188647957706/bleeding-out

Part 2 of a fic set with part one being Laced Drink. Featuring Dick off to save Damian!

Close the Chasm

Dick and Bruce talking about taking care of Damian

Underneath the Christmas Tree

A new present themed baddie in Gotham nabs Robin and it’s up to Batman to rescue him!

Out of Sight

Dick loses Damian in the chaos of a Wayne event getting hijacked

That Time Tim Totally Terminated Ra’s al Ghuls’ Entire Empire Part 1

Crack fic where to spite Ra’s Tim unionizes Ra’s ninjas and also comes home with two brothers

With Warmth and Love

Damian bakes cookies with Jason and Dick. Loose sequel to I’ll give All I Have

Here we are Together in the End

Content warning: Major Character Death, no comfort. This is my only no comfort fic so please be warned.

Dick and Damian deal with earthquakes in Gotham.

Light’s Out

The power goes out at the Penthouse and Dick and Damian figure out a way to enjoy the snow day

On a Cold Winter’s Night

The power goes out at Wayne Manor and Dick and Damian chill out

Under Repair

Jason helps Damian fix a car he’s just crashed…kind of

Put on Display

Robin gets nabbed by an obsessed fan and needs to be rescued

The Weight of Us

Dick and Bruce patrolling right after Bruce returns from being lost in time

A Lucky Shot

Dick and Damian and a series of unfortunate events on patrol

Damian at a Animal Rescue Farm

This Thrilling Day

Damian and Jon on vacation pulling Home Alone stunts

You Always Bring Me Home

Alfred and Bruce! Alfred being amazing and rescuing his Bat-lad

Just a Little Too Much

Damian being a little overwhelmed by a bad day

Bake it Just Right

Jason stress baking

No Day Like Toad-ay

Damian talks to a frog

And the World Spins

Dick has a very bad no good run in with Clayface

Time Ticks By

Tim and Damian bonding while escaping the Riddler

Safe Here, Safe Now

Dick and Damian training

#fic list #my fics #precious posts #long post #fics on tumblr #damian wayne #dick grayson #tim drake #jason todd #cassandra cain #stephanie brown #alfred pennyworth #duke thomas #bruce wayne #batfamily

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transmutationisms · 9 months

Note

never really gave much thought to it until now but it is so weird to experience disordered eating tendencies solely cause of food insecurity but all i ever really heard about it was how its related to beauty standards etc, and so i never really took ot seriously and developed some very shitty habits due to food inaccessibility.

do you maybe have some articles or anything worth checking out about that side of eds? thanks in advance, love your blog so much!!

When the researchers sat down and started analyzing the results, they found almost linear correlations between eating disorder symptoms and food insecurity. A replication study in 2019, conducted in an even larger population at the same food bank, found almost identical results. “It was some of the saddest and most beautiful data that I had ever seen,” Becker said.

Her work challenged preconceptions about what eating disorders actually were.

Singh, the New York dietician, said those preconceptions stem from the fact that people who have eating disorders and can afford to seek help tend to be wealthier. And most research is done on patients who show up in clinics.

Food insecurity never even entered the picture of how psychology and psychiatry conceptualized an eating disorder, Singh said. As a result, starving yourself to lose weight was considered a disorder, but no one thought about starving yourself to ensure your family had enough to eat.

Results suggested that individuals in the child hunger insecure group had the highest levels of eating disorder symptoms. Seventeen percent of individuals in this group had a clinically significant eating disorder, compared with 9.4% in the food insecure group, 2.6% in the household food insecure group, and 2.9% in the not food insecure group. Binge eating, overeating, night eating (waking up to eat a large amount of food with distress at night), vomiting, laxative/water pill use, skipping at least two meals in a row, exercising harder than usual because of eating too much food, and weight/shape concerns were all more common in the child hunger food insecure group than the other three groups. There were no differences between groups for the eating disorder symptoms based on sex, race, or ethnicity. Similarly, internalized weight stigma and worry was greatest in the child hunger group.

There are several implications for this study. First, these data reiterate that eating disorders do not discriminate on the basis of socioeconomic status. Individuals who are food insecure need to be considered in future research in order to fully understand risks that are specific to this population (e.g., food restriction for any reason). Second, prevention, intervention, and treatment programs need to be designed so they can reach individuals who do not have the money to access these programs. For example, current treatments for eating disorders are primarily delivered face-to-face with a trained clinician, which is difficult to disseminate to a wide range of individuals. Finally, although not directly assessed, anti-obesity programs may negatively affect individuals who are food insecure and overweight or obese, given that internalized weight stigmatization was high in a proportion of these individuals. Additional research in this population will be critical to better understand risk factors for eating disorder symptoms in this understudied population.

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/eat.22735 (<-link to study discussed above)

Many people (incorrectly) believe that eating disorders (ED) are more prevalent in the higher socioeconomic status (SES) groups. Studies conducted in the 1960s and 70s corroborate this statement; however, their methods may have biased the results. Recent studies using health questionnaires distributed to large heterogeneous populations have shown that EDs equally effect all people, regardless of SES. These studies have also demonstrated that females of the lower SES group report higher rates of disordered eating behavior (vomiting, use of diet pills, diuretics, or laxatives as a means to lose weight).

#eating disorders

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venusvity · 4 months

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정윤아 … … ( I HAVE KNOWN. )

❝If I got rid of my demons, I’d lose my angels.❞ ― Tennessee Williams, Conversations With Tennessee Williams

CHARACTERS : JUNG YOONAH … KANG JUWON … SON JINHWA

WORDS : 3.7K

WARNINGS / NOTES : Therapy. Mentions of Murder, Depression, and PTSD. Abusive and weird obsessive boss. Discussions of an abusive relationship. If I missed something let me know! This piece is old, I've reworked it, and am really pleased with how it turned out! I believe this would take place in either 2019/2020 but this is set in the past! I just wanted to put it back into the universe :) Thank you so much for reading! rbs, comments, and asks are always appreciated ♡

“Do you want to be here, Yoonah?”

Yoonah looks around the therapist’s office, sighing through her button nose before nodding.

“Yeah.”

Doah’s pen skates across her notepad, causing Yoonah’s eyes to fall down to it. She barely said anything, why is she writing?

“Are you in a relationship right now?”

Yoonah has to think about it. She thinks about it for a few beats, eyes scanning over the door as she waits for the words to come to her. Doah waits. Even if Yoonah doesn’t speak, she gets paid. She’ll let her take her time.

“Yeah, I’m seeing…men.”

“How many men?”

A pause.

“One,” Yoonah looks towards the window now, “And a half.”

“And a half?”

Yoonah smiles towards the door where outside sits a man, waiting for his appointment to start. He’s different from the boys she usually talks to. When they were in the waiting room, he talked to her passionately about the book he was reading, she doesn’t remember what book but she remembers the beaming smile on his face when talking about it. His name is Juwon. He’s in a band. He’s a vocalist and plays bass. Yoonah likes him. She wants to spend more time with him.

“I’m working on one.” Her words make Doah chuckle through her nose, writing that down before looking up and at Yoonah.

“And the one you’re not working on?”

“Jinhwa.” It’s a simple answer, causing Doah to nod. She writes the names down but never looks away from Yoonah.

“And would you consider that a healthy relationship?”

Yoonah opens her mouth to say something but nothing comes out. It takes her a second, staring out the window, counting the droplets of rain that hit it. She gets to fifteen before she finally has an answer.

“Not really.”

Doah nods, jotting that down.

“Let’s start there,” Doah hums, finally, putting her pen down. Yoonah feels like a weight is lifted when the pen is put down. She swallows, looking towards the door again, shifting in her seat. She hates talking about herself, her problems, her relationships, all she’s been through, she hates it all. It feels so selfish.

“Why don’t you think that relationships is healthy, Yoonah?”

Yoonah takes a deep breath through her nose, looking up now before back at the gold doorknob.

“Jinhwa…is my boss,” Doah’s writing again, it’s making Yoonah’s fingers twitch, picking at her ripped jeans. “But he loves me. I love him too. I’m not dumb though. I know, like, fucking your boss won’t have, like, the best relationship dynamic.” She’s talking more but it’s to defend herself, to defend Jinhwa. She’s fighting a one-sided battle because Doah doesn’t say anything, just nods.

“But I’m a grown woman. I can make my own choices and I want to be with him even if it is inappropriate. I don’t care,” Yoonah continues, still fighting a battle with no competitor. It’s like she’s arguing with herself but not really. Doah nods, tilting her head at Yoonah.

Doah nods, hooded eyes scanning over Yoonah’s appearance, motioning to her own hair with her pen.

“Is that why you cut your hair? Because of something he did?”

Yoonah looks down at the now decent-sized hole in her jeans, swallowing when she thinks of what she deems the first domino. It wasn’t all Jinhwa’s fault, she had been spiraling for a while at that point, sure, they were getting bad again but there were other things that contributed to her tipping point.

“No,” She sounds uncertain because she is. Did she chop her hair off because truly hated her reflection or did she chop her hair off because she wanted Jinhwa’s attention? As she thinks harder about it, she doesn’t know. “I don’t know.”

“Yoonah, do you feel safe around Jinhwa?”

“Sometimes,” She hates how fast she answers and she hates how uncertain she sounds. She’s a good liar, she knows she is, but she’s never been so backed into a corner in her life.

“And when do you not feel safe?”

Silence. Longer than normal.

“Does he hits you?” Doah prods. Yoonah crosses her arms across her chest.

“I don’t care if he hits me.”

“So he does hit you?”

“No,” Yoonah pauses, “He’ll grab me sometimes.”

“Is that when you feel unsafe?”

“Sometimes.” She’s answering quickly now, out of spite. She’s mad. She doesn’t want to be here, she doesn’t want to talk about her life or relationships with a stranger, she doesn’t want to do it.

“What does he do when he grabs you?” Doah asks, raising her brows. Yoonah decides she’s talking too much, giving Doah too much ammo like this is some war and not a therapy appointment but she keeps going. This is the one place she feels like she could keep going and never face any repercussions.

“He yells at me.”

“What does he say when he yells at you?” There’s a silence between them where the women just stare at each other, one tapping her pen while the other digs her nails into her own sides.

Jinhwa only yells at her when she “goes off the deep end” or whatever he calls it when Yoonah starts expressing her emotions to him. She’s never been good at expressing her emotions even when she was a child her mother would tell her stories of the hour-long fits Yoonah would have because she didn’t get what she want or because she didn’t understand something.

“He…He just yells at me. I don’t know.” Yoonah sounds smaller, looking down at the ugly grey carpet.

“When does he yell at you? What leads up to that?” Doah asks, her brows softening, giving her a more compassionate look.

Beneath the facade she’s built, Yoonah’s heart is gentle. She is kind and cares for others even when their best interest is to her detriment.

Yoonah shrugs. She doesn’t want to do this anymore. She doesn’t feel say talking about Jinhwa like this. It feels like he’ll find out what she’s saying and use it against her. The silence is thick and long between the pair. Doah looks up at the clock with a sigh

“I’ll see you next week.” They still have 30 minutes left in their session but Yoonah always left early. It’s not her dime this is on. She doesn’t care. She leaves without a second thought. Doah knows she’ll be back, she always comes back, this is mandated by her company, Yoonah has to come back if she wants to keep doing her job.

Yoonah walks down the hallway and into the waiting room where she hopes to maybe see Juwon before she leaves but it’s an empty room. It makes her sigh, pressing the back of her hand against her teary eyes as she quickly walks out of the office and towards the black car that waits out front for her.

SESSION 002

Juwon is a beautiful boy. He had big black eyes and short black hair that looked silky to the touch. He has a famous face she’s seen before, she knows he’s in that group with that boy in it. Juwon hasn’t spoken much about his group or his friends for that matter, she doesn’t even know if he’s friends with the boys in his group.

He mainly talks about his family. His father more specifically and how he wasn’t a nice man before he passed. Yoonah tells him that he can meet her dad one day, her dad is nice to everyone and would love to meet Juwon.

Yoonah likes Juwon. She likes him a lot.

“He sounds…insufferable,” Junwo laughs, shaking his head as Yoonah nods.

“He is.”

Juwon looks amused but bewildered, brows furrowing at her response.

“And you’re still with him?” Juwon asks, causing Yoonah to think for a few beats, looking up before shrugging.

“We’re, like, still together. We sleep with other people a lot.” She doesn't mention that Jinhwa doesn't know about most of them.

“Who have you slept with?” Juwon asks, genuinely curious. His curiosity makes her laugh again.

"A couple of people..." Yoonah sings jokingly, laughing to herself as flashes of people she's slept with appear in her head. She can't remember their names, but she remembers how their lips tasted.

Juwon makes an amused sound at that, laughing softly as he looks down at the book in his lap.

“You’re very interesting, Yoonah,” Juwon tells her, making her smile sweetly. Interesting. She can’t remember the last time she’s been called interesting. It makes her chest warm.

“You’re wasting your time with that guy, Jihan?”

“Jinhwa.”

“Ah,” Juwon doesn’t seem interested in his name, “Men like that don’t change. Don’t waste your time.”

Yoonah learns more and more she hates when anyone who aren’t herself talks about Jinhwa. They never have anything good to say, they just tell her to leave. She gets it. She’s just tired of hearing it.

“I know,” Yoonah answers dryly, causing Juwon to look up at meet her gaze. They lock eyes for a few beats before Yoonah raises her brows, unimpressed. “All men are like that though.”

Juwon shrugs, not moved.

“Yeah, maybe, but not all men will have you mother their child,” Juwon says simply, brows raising as well as if he’s mimicking her. It makes Yoonah laugh through her nose, looking down at her hands, and sighing softly. She hates it when people are right about Jinhwa. She hates being wrong in general.

“Got me there,” Yoonah says as she kicks the agergous looking carpet under her feet. She looks up at Juwon once again. Neither of their therapists had come out yet. It makes her brain spark to life, biting the inside of her cheek as she smiles.

“We should leave.”

“Leave?” Juwon repeats. Yoonah nods.

“Yeah, we can walk somewhere.”

“But our managers–”

“We come back before they come,” Yoonah shrugs. It’s clear she lives more on the edge that Juwon does. She stands, putting her hands out to him, smiling sweetly. “It’ll be fun! We can be each other’s therapists.”

Juwon laughs up at her, smiling. He’s beautiful when he smiles, Yoonah thinks as she fights the urge to take his face into her palms.

Juwon hesitantly takes her hands into his, standing up.

“Let’s go.”

SESSION 003

“Tell me about your childhood,” Yoonah says as she and Juwon sit in a meadow adjacent to the park that's a few blocks away from their therapists’ building. Juwon laid his jacket down for her to sit on. He’s a true gentleman in Yoonah’s opinion.

Juwon’s eyes widen as his brows go up, sighing and shaking his head.

“Um, not great,” Juwon starts, laughing softly as he picks at a blade of grass. He tears the blade of grass to shreds. “I had a sister. She died when I was four. That’s when my mom said my dad started,” he twirls his finger next to his head, shaking his head, “Losing it. She thinks he blames himself for her death. It was a car crash and he was driving, so, I bet he did but he never talked about it. He was just…fucking mean,” Juwon shrugs, plucking another green blade of grass. Yoonah rubs her lips together as he speaks, watching his fingers nimbly move against the blade of grass, shredding it to pieces.

“Is he why you’re going to therapy?” Yoonah wonders, causing Juwon to scoff, shaking his head.

“No. My company said I needed to after what I saw,” Juwon says like she should know what he’s seen. She does know. All of Korea knows. It’s tragic and she can’t imagine going through what Juwon went through. Juwon shrugs. “And they’re right. That’s not a…Not a normal thing to see.”

A pause.

“It really does mess with your brain. ‘Seeing someone die,” Juwon adds, like he’s acknowledged his own trauma for the first time. “I honestly thought I was doing fine until my company stepped in.”

“What were you doing to make them step in?” Yoonah wonders, still watching his hands. She wants to hold them but she doesn’t reach towards him, not yet.

Juwon shrugs.

“I just…slept all day. I just laid there like I was in a coma or something,” She looks up when he speaks, looking at his face to see his sad gaze. He has naturally sad eyes, she thinks. It makes her reach over, taking his hand into hers, offering him a smile when he looks up at her.

“Now look at you,” Yoonah beams, causing him to smile lightly, looking over her soft features. “You’re sitting in a meadow with a pretty girl, talking about your life,” Juwon laughs softly at her words, head dropping as he squeezes her hand, nodding.

“‘Making great progress,” Juwon jokes, plucking one of those little white weed flowers, and putting it out to her. Yoonah smiles at the flower and then at Juwon, taking it in and putting it behind her ear still smiling.

She feels good.

SESSION 006

“You haven’t made any moves on me.”

Juwon looks up from his book and out into the endless dancing sea of grass they sat in before looking down at Yoonah, who lay in his lap.

“Do you want me to make moves on you?” The man asks, moving his hands out and to the sides so nothing is obstructing his view of her. Yoonah looks up at him with those soft round eyes she whips out every once in a while to keep men on their toes. It does the trick every time, making Juwon smile down at her softly.

Yoonah shrugs.

“Yeah.”

Juwon chuckles at the simplicity of her answer, folding the corner of the page before shutting his book and setting it down next to him, tapping her shoulders. She pushes herself up to where she’s sitting in a similar criss-crossed position as him, turning herself around to face the boy with the soft brown eyes.

Now Juwon is the one with the soft gaze, staring at Yoonah like she’s some goddess sent from above. It makes her smile brighter, putting her hands out in the space between them for him to take. It takes him a second but he slowly reaches out, slotting his fingers between hers’.

“Feels like forever since I’ve held a girl’s hand,” Juwon tells her which makes her giggle softly, looking at their hands then back at his face.

“Really?”

“Yeah, we used to be…really busy so I just,” His thumb runs over the back of her hand, smiling fondly as he squeezes her smaller hands, “Never had the time.”

“Oh my god,” Yoonah leans forward, causing Juwon to raise his brows curiously, “Are you a virgin?” She whispers, half joking half serious. It makes Juwon’s jaw drop, scoffing then laughing at her, looking minorly offended.

“No! Oh my god––Yoonah, I went to college, you know?” His eyes are wide and he’s talking passionately, smile clear as she giggles at nearly every word he says. “I’ve had sex. God, I’m twenty-six. That’d be embarrassing.”

“You’re twenty-six?” Yoonah asks in shock. She thought he was her age. He isn’t far off but still, he looks young for his age. Juwon nods, humming.

“Almost twenty-seven,” He adds, looking her over before nodding, squeezing their hands again. “How old are you?”

“Twenty-three,” Yoonah answers simply, tilting her head at him before her eyes drop to their hands as she pulls them to her chest, over her heartbeat. Juwon watches her move their hands with a small smile before his eyes go back to her face. “I turn twenty-four in July though.”

Juwon nods, humming.

“We’ll have to celebrate.”

“Yeah?” Yoonah quips, making Juwon chuckle softly, nodding.

“I’ll take you out. Get you a balloon.”

“Just one?”

Juwon laughs again, deciding to be a bit bold and pulling her hands to his lips, kissing her knuckles. Yoonah smiles at the sweet action, her heart beating a bit faster when he holds their hands to his chest now. She can feel his heart beating. It’s beating fast but the rhythm is relaxing.

“I’ll get you twenty-four of them,” Juwon says, making Yoonah bat her lashes at him. He’s so sweet, so pure, Yoonah can’t stop herself from thinking she’s in love with him.

Maybe she is. She isn’t sure yet.

THE OFFICE.

Jinhwa clears his throat as Yoonah sits across his desk, looking down at her phone in her lap. She looks up a few seconds later, smiling at him before raising her brows at him. Jinhwa looks her over, a soft smile on his face before he looks down with a sigh.

“You haven’t gone to the last three of your sessions.”

Doah is such a bitch, Yoonah thinks but her face doesn’t falter, she just keeps smiling at him. She looks like he hand-picked the stars and put them in the sky himself. It works on every man she’s involved herself with.

“I don’t–”

“I’m not stupid, Yoonah. I know you’re leaving with that boy,” He taps the side of his head, “the disturbed one.”

“Don’t talk about him like that.” Yoonah snaps. There’s a defensiveness she carries for Juwon. He isn’t disturbed. He’s just depressed. She wonders if it’s their age difference or if Jinhwa thinks he’s a psycho. Jinhwa’s from a different time, she gets it, but she doesn’t care. The man sighs, putting up his hands in faux surrender.

“Whatever. Either way, he’s interfering with your treatment–”

“He’s not. I make him leave with me.”

A silence. Jinhwa sighs.

“I’m switching your appointments from five to three,” Jinhwa dismisses simply. Yoonah doesn’t argue, just sighs through her nose. There’s no use in arguing, just grin and bear it, Yoonah thinks, scratching the side of her wrists.

“And I’m…” Hesitation is never good, it makes Yoonah tense and look up from her hands.

“I’m putting you on a dating ban. Effective immediately. You’re getting too reckless with the men you pick up.” Jinhwa says as he slides over a piece of paper, dropping a pen in front of her as well. Yoonah looks over the paper with wide, almost frantic eyes, then back at him, her scratching getting harder.

“What?” Yoonah whispers, “What is this?”

Jinhwa sighs again.

“It’s a legal document that says you acknowledge–”

“A contact. You want me to sign a contract?”

Jinhwa clears his throat at being interrupted, it's clear he’s getting agitated but keeps his composure. He knows Yoonah all too well at this point. Her reaction was to be expected.

“–that says you acknowledge you are under a dating ban until you complete your treatments and if you break this agreement,” he points to a block of text that Yoonah doesn’t look at, her hard gaze staying on him and him only, “you and your group will suffer the consequences.”

Yoonah swallows, shaking her head––A soft gasp leaves her lips when she feels a prick on her wrist. Her eyes look down to see a small portion of skin scratched raw, skin pink and shiny. It makes her stomach twist, putting her hand under her thigh with a sigh. She finally shakes her head.

“I don’t want to sign it.” Yoonah says sternly. Jinhwa grunts, he sees that coming. He reaches down, pulling a thick pile of papers out and dropping them in front of her. He flips through them until he’s on at least page twenty, pointing to a highlighted block of text.

“This? Right here?” He’s speaking to her like she’s dumb, voice condescending yet kind. She hates it, the look of content on her face only growing. “Says if you don’t sign anything I want you to sign, you’re in breach of your contract. I’ve been really leanate with you, Yoonah. Because I love you,” His hand is on her cheek now, making her bottom lip tremble slightly, gaze still hard and angry, “And I want what’s best for you. Anyone with a brain would’ve dropped you by now but I haven’t and I won’t. You owe me this one small thing, don’t you think?”

Yoonah turned her head away, sniffling before looking down at the papers that sat on his desk, shaking her head.

“It’s not fair, Jinhwa.” She says quietly, keeping her gaze down. Jinhwa coos at her, petting her black hair softly before taking her cheek back into his hand, stroking her full cheek softly.

“Nothing is, Yoonah.”

He leans back in his chair, taking her original contract off the table and back in his drawer before nodding towards the contact and pen in front of her.

“Just finish your therapy and you go back to seeing your mentally ill boyfriends,” Jinhwa dismisses, waving his hand as Yoonah takes the pen in her hand, sighing. She reads over the contract slowly, really reading over the conditions. She points to the fourth paragraph of text, lips twitching.

“Does this say I can still have relationships just with people inside the company?” Yoonah asks, looking up at Jinhwa. He’s smiling, nodding, hands crossed in his lap.

“Yes. Yeah, it does. It only makes sense.”

“Makes sense?”

“Yeah,” Jinhwa shrugs, “No one knows what happens inside the neighborhood or company building. It’s just easier if you keep your relationships within the company.”

Yoonah stares at him. The gears are turning, making her brows pinch and her head tilt slightly.

“Is…Did you just put that there so we can keep seeing each other?”

Jinhwa shrugs. His intentions are clear in Yoonah’s eyes, leaving an uneasy seed in her stomach. She hates the idea that Jinhwa feels the need to take such measures to control her. She hates that he can take such measures and she just has to go along with it.

She promised her group wouldn’t suffer for her mistakes ever again. She isn’t going to hurt their careers over something so small and trivial. She loves and cares for her girls too much to let that happen––She loves her team too much.

With a deep breath, she puts the pen on the dotted line and lets it glide across the paper in the shape of her name.

#╰ * VENUS : scenarios ⧽ burn it to the ground .#ficnetfairy #fictional idol group #fictional idol community #kpop fanfic #idol oc #kpop oc #fake kpop oc #kpop au #idol au #kpop addition #idolverse #oc girl group #bts addition #fake kpop girl group #fake kpop idol #oc kpop group #stray kids addition

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the-empress-7 · 2 months

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Frankly KP should have been on the offensive back in 2019. They need someone who actually knows PR and o navigate them through this.

W&C and especially William have a tendency to bury their heads in the sand. But they really need new staff that can deal with the monster that is social media and H&M because neither is ever going to stop coming from W&C. Sooner or later tehy will go hard after the kids. The kids are also probably hearing shit from classmates and just ignoring the problem won’t cut it. The best defence is an offensive

You have to keep in mind that KP was under CH's thumb while the Queen was alive. Even today BP constantly briefs against KP, and we see how BP aides throw their weight around when it comes to what KP can and cannot do.

I agree that KP needs to do more, but let's not lose sight of the fact that at the end of the day they report to BP and there are limits to the extent that William can rebel against what the Monarch wants.

Case in point the way BP has been pushing Camilla as the Monarch's replacement in the past few weeks, with little regard to precedence or law.

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kdramaxoxo · 4 months

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Can you recommend like a fun, silly, summery drama? I'm looking for similar vibes as Cheer Up or Age of Youth (female friendships are a plus). It's hard to find something without melodrama.

First off, I LOVE your user icon! (- ‿◦ )

And I definitely want to help you find something silly and easy to watch, especially as we enter the depths of winter! Some of these are a little less slice of life but still fun. Also I know you already watched/mentioned a couple of these but I'm adding them to the list for everyone else who might be game!

Light Hearted Fun K-dramas (little or no melo)

Soundtrack #1 (slice of life/romance) Best friends for almost 20 years, the two leads start having feelings for one another while working on a project. This drama only has a few episodes which is a shame because it's really cute! As a Park Hyung Sik Stan (sorry but Happiness broke me), he's great in this one and he hasn't lost all of his military weight yet which I LOVE :D

Fanletter Please! (slice of life/ romance) A sick child writes fan letters to her favorite star, an actress who for kdrama reasons is afraid of fan letters. This was a super sweet, short drama - I really liked it so much!

Into The Ring (workplace/romcom): The perfect slice-of-life rom com! Goo Se Ra has trouble holding down a job due to her passionate personality so after she loses her latest job working for the ML, she decides to run for a small government office position because it pays a salary. Literally she does it for the money which is just *chef��s kiss.* The show is about her dealing with local politics and it’s SO FUNNY and smart and the OTP is the best!

King The Land (rom/com): A cold chaebol hotel owner meets his match (literally and figuratively) who is a top notch employee. There's a lot of push pull and the ML (MY BIAS!) Lee Junho's character falls hard and fast. It does have slow moments but if you literally want to watch a happy couple be happy (plus the skinship is chef's kiss and there is so much of it) you'll enjoy this one.

Melo Is My Nature (slice of life): This drama is by far my favorite slice-of-life drama of 2019. Found family, strong and complex characters, I laughed, I cried. Plus a gay character that’s an actual character, with the gay as a casual side note (classy k-drama!!) It was just a perfect show for me. There’s romance, but all of the stories are super interesting.

Top Management (slice of life) I know this show is mainly on Youtube Premium BUT I just got an email from Youtube basically saying “hey we know you never want to pay to watch our shows so we’re just going to let you ok?” so that’s something… Adorable mini drama about a girl who can see the future and becomes the rookie manager for a kpop band. Fun and easy.

Business Proposal (rom/com) Seriously this drama is almost the exact same plot as The Secret Life of My Secretary. It's really fun and cute (just like the latter) and if you like one, you'll like the other ;-)

True To Love / Bo Rah Deborah (rom/com) Bo Rah is a relationship expert publishing her book. She works with a man who is her total opposite making it a cute enemies to lovers. Yoo in Ah is literally so adorable I love watching her! (If I'm honest I can't remember a TON about this drama but I do remember it being an easy watch).

Her Private Life (romcom): Park Min Young really knows how to pick dramas. I loved this one about a museum curator who is secretly a fangirl obsessed with an idol. It’s fun and fluffy but does have a very mild childhood trauma thing with his mother but I mean, 99% of dramas like this do? If you like this one, Touch Your Heart and Why Secretary Kim are by the same person and have similar vibes.

Touch Your Heart (rom/com) A sweet, silly and very mild rom com about a serious boss and his hallyu star secretary. This show was an obvious response to the chemistry that Lee Dong Wook and Yoo In Na had in Goblin so it was nice to see them together again. Yoo In Na is such a fun person to watch!

Fight for My Way (slice of life/romcom): I love this drama! Always a fave for me, this drama is funny and heartwarming! The leading lady is a strong female which I LOVE, and Park Seo Joon plays her really cute down to earth best friend. It’s a childhood friends to lovers trope with a group of regular people (no rich heirs in this show!) and has a happy ending and a lot of cute flirting, cuddling and kissing. Argh I love these two!

Age of Youth 1 (slice of life): Age of Youth/ Hello My Twenties is one of the best k-dramas that centers around strong female friendships. A group of wildly different girls find themselves rooming together in an apartment. Lots of romance too, but the girl’s lives and friendships are the primary focus.

Shopping King Louie (romcom): Ridiculously fun and lighthearted romp following a spoiled and useless chaebol with amnesia who is being taken care of by a country bumpkin in the city. Very low stakes, super adorable couple, and as many tropes as you can fit in your bag, this one is one of my favorites to recommend.

Eulachacha Waikiki / Laughter In Waikiki (slice of life comedy, romance) I hope you’re ready for a crazy amount of unlikely situations and nutty hijinks because this show is probably one the most silly ones I’ve ever watched. It follows a group of friends who own a hostel so it’s a slice of life drama. At certain points I was like “this is TOO silly” but I’m glad I stuck with it cause it was so hilarious. Plus, the baby is a star!

Wok of Love (rom/com) Despite the fact that the show was shortened by two episodes because of sports, this drama is a funny and quirky show worth watching. Many people dropped it because it was SO crazy for the first couple of episodes (it has a talking horse people!), but it does settle into a really sweet and fun story about a chef, a gangster and a rich girl and her family. If you love food, this show is for YOU!

And finally, if you don't mind a bit of melo, I highly recommend Run On!

Enjoy <3

#kdrama recommendations #kdrama recs #kdrama #king the land #i wrote this list right before bed and im not really awake #so how many typos will there be?#lee junho #on the list twice as he should be #soundtrack no 1 #fanletter place #true to love #i love a list

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