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#i THINK thats all my thoughts for now. if u have thoughts u should spill them in the tags i looooove reading tttaaggsss
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"And soda; runs off into the street..." "...and soda... is totally okay!"
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#cw blood#something something cracking open a boy w the cold ones#IF THERE ARE ANY MISTAKES I MISSED I SWWWEAR TO JEBEDIAH. IF I STARE AT THIS ANYMORE IM GONNA DIE IT NEEDS TO BE DONE#ALSO RRRAAAHAHHHGHGH CAN I JUST TAKEA SECOND TO SCREEAAMM ABT HOW MUCH I LOVE SODA AND EMIZEL.. LIKE THERYE SO CUTE....#THEY ARE HOMIES THAT KISS EACHOTHR GOODNIGHT. THEY CARE SO MUCH FOR EACHOTHER. SODA LOVES SODA AND SODA LOVES YOU#do u guys remember how willing he was to share blood w his vampire bestie. like cmon. remember when emizel memorized sodas Soda Schedule.#LIKE CMON.... they just have eachothers backs so much. ouhhh my god... ANYWAY SO THE ART HUH. I FEEL LIKE I SCRAMBLED W IT FOR A WHILE#DRAWIN IS HARD..... i think i did well in the end tho.. i like the lil heart beat effects. and i hope i made soda look Suffieciently Scared#i ALSO had fun w the teeth. i however did not have fun w the walls. if i had more drugs i mightve done every brick in more detail#but i didnt WANNA!!!! this will suffice.I HOPE IT FLOWS WELL&THAT ITS CLEAR... IVE STARED AT IT SO LONG IT IS NOW VISUAL SOUP. HELP!!!#i want my comics to have more Pauses and Space and Thought and Momence. i feel like normally they go so fast. but THIS time#i think i did good.... huuoouhhhh.... comics are HARD art is HARD but i am HARDER. or something. OH YEAH I HAVE MORE ART THINGS#soda was RLY HARD FOR ME TO DRAW FOR A MINUTE..but i like where his design is now. i wanted his hair to be curly swirly.like soda fizz#i THINK thats all my thoughts for now. if u have thoughts u should spill them in the tags i looooove reading tttaaggsss#have a goodnight i gotta go to work soon. maybe. unless the casinos power goes out AGAIN. OR SEOMTHING... UUGHHH MY SCHEDULE IS IN SHAMBLES#I THOUGHT I WAS WORKIN 3 DAYS INA ROW SO I RENTED A WHOLE DAMN HOTEL BC THE JOB PLACE IS FAR AWAY.. I HAD TO CANCEL THE WHOLE RESERVATOn#annd im MMMMAD ABOUT IT!!! like ill get over it ofc BUT IM PEEVED!!!! IM INCONVIENIENCED AND GENTLY AGGRIVATED. BUT OVERALL FINE.#hope yalls weekend goes well. sleep well. if u get the chance to.
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ugly-pickle · 3 months
Note
Good morning, Pickle. My second request for the day. Please kindly consider this angsty Gorou request: Gorou can only watch as you exchange nuptial cups with Heizou. He know he has no right to stop the wedding, not when he was the one who broke up with you to woo Kokomi, only to find out later that she was only using him to get her parents off her back about her being single.
Please also kindly take as long as you need with this request; I have no qualms in waiting. Furthermore, by no means feel obligated to prioritize this request over your other requests.
regret ☆ gorou
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CHARACTERS: gorou x reader
SYNOPSIS: gorou dumps you for kokomi (っ- ‸ - ς)
GENRE: angst 🦢
W/C: 0.8k
T/W: cussing, breaking up, cheating (if there’s any i missed let me know!)
A/N: bro i hate exams (˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ ) my next one will also probably take eons to complete….
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“WHAT THE FUCK GOROU.”
SMACK
you touch the now red mark on your face. it stings, but the ache in your heart is worse. “never talk about kokomi like that again,” gorou says with a stern tone. “tch, YOUR kokomi? i have never seen her look at you for more than 2 seconds outside of a meeting.” youre now pissed off due to gorou’s stupidity, but you cant help but feel a bit jealous, well, kokomi did just steal your lover’s heart with just a snap of her fingers.
gorou’s tail looks stiff, you notice that he does that when hes uncomfortable or angry, you take note of this. you might regret what youre going to say, but a river cannot stop flowing just because of a small inconvenience. you shall see where the future takes you. “if i upset you that much then i’ll leave. goodbye gorou,” you want to cry but your dignity tells you not to; you grab your wallet and head out the door.
before you completely close the door, you can hear a whimper, and it’s not yours.
it’s sunny outside, youre not sure if you should be grateful that theres no rain to make you feel worse, or if you should feel bad that the rest of inazuma is having a great time without you. although, no matter how clear the day was, you still manage to bump into someone.
“y/n? oh my archons, it is you! how have you been?” says the mysterious voice. “heizou?” tears are finally dripping down.
you slightly grip the cups in your hands, youre so excited that youre scared that the sake might spill. the moment slips by like a flash and youre already taking your last sip. you look up to see your husband, hes grinning ear to ear and so are you.
heizou looks so lovely when hes happy, but now you can see all of his emotions, whether if hes happy, sad, jealous, angry, disgusted, confused, you can see all of it and only you.
you look into the crowd, all of your friends and family are there, heizou’s side as well. theyre happy for you.
thats when you see gorou.
beside him was Sangonomiya Kokomi, Divine Priestess of Watatsumi Island, what a mouthful, not to mention how bitter the title tasted in your mouth. gorou’s tail was stiff, you wonder why; his eyes were also glistening, such pretty eyes shouldnt cry….
WAITWAITWAIT
nononono, youre literally having your wedding ceremony right now, what are you thinking?…
your wedding ceremony has ended, you and heizou are now officially married.
gorou’s perspective:
“gorou? are you okay?” kokomi asks, “u-uhm yea, im fine,” gorou stutters a bit. what if he was the one up there with you. what if he was up there exchanging nuptial cups with you.
“hey kokomi?” gorou asks, “yes gorou?” kokomi responds, “im gonna get some fresh air, i’ll be right back,” kokomi nods her head, gorou presses a kiss on her forehead then exits.
he feels guilty. he kissed kokomi while thinking about you, no, he thought about you every waking second and you even appeared in his dreams. a few tears roll down his eyes. is he happy for you or jealous of heizou? all of these emotions swirling around him, and he cant tell which one hes feeling.
he feels a hand in his shoulder. he jumps, hes a bit startled, it’s you…
you look so lovely, the fabric, the design, the jewels, and just the everything made you look heavenly. he picks up a scent that he always longed for, it was yours, he just never realized it.
“were you crying gorou?…” he feels more tears coming up, did he miss you that much?
“congratulations y/n, uhm… we ended on a bad note, look i just wanna say that ‘m sorry.” a small smile appears on your face, “apology accepted, that was the past, lets focus on the present,” you gently squeeze gorou’s hand. “lets catch up some other time, yea?” you said, “y-yea,” and with that you disappeared. he feels empty.
“there you are!” kokomi’s voice rings through his ears. “m-my love!” gorou says, becoming stiff again, “look gorou, we need to talk,” her words feel stiff, uncomfortable even. “of course! anything! what do you need to talk about?” gorou asks.
“…lets split up gorou.”
….
“eh?” hes dumbfounded. “lets break up,” nonono this cant be happening, “why?… i thought you were happy, were you not?” gorou’s life was already falling apart, this was just the breaking point. “look, gorou, i have strict parents that expect me to produce… offspring, i would like to label this event ‘traumatic’ so they’ll stop bothering me for the time being. my condolences.”
why bother anymore?
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NOTE FOR SAILORSTAR9: i literally had no idea what nuptial cups were before this (´∇`'')
TAGLIST: @sailorstar9
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mikobeautifulheart · 1 month
Note
Tw
Could you do a megumi x reader where he find out about ur selfh@rm or yk something along those lines... 💕I understand if u won't write smth like this tho
Trust me there isn't anything I wouldn't write for. (Except for illegal age gaps) ANNYYWAYYYS here goes nothing
TW: Self harm, low self esteem and angst.
NOT PROOF READ and obvi mentions of self harm, but not close to death. And for some reason I made a whole polit so...it's really extreme so I might write a toned down version later if that's what u wanted.
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Even if you were still a student, even if you were to young to drive or drink, you could understand life. Your life as a Jujutsu high student as a sorcerer was something you never really thought about, you were born different, had something special and you had to put it to use as a sorcerer. The killing of curses never bothered you as you understood it was for the greater good, rather it was how you came to be a sorcerer.
You were born and almost shunned at birth, you grew up in a poor suburb with criminals. You could remember moving out of the house as soon as your parents sent to to Jujutsu high, now your parents were no god sends but they were good when they were sober.
"I wont let Yuji die" You said staring blankly at Megumi.
It was Yuji's first mission and Gojo had entrusted you and Megumi to watch out for him as he did you.
"But there's no chance of him living Y/N his hand is gone and Sukuna ripped out his heart, he isn't going to live-"
"I WONT LET HIM DIE" You screamed exorcising the curse in front of you.
you took in deep breaths as you saw Sukuna laugh and turn back into Yuji, you rushed over and held up his body before it could hit the ground.
"YUJI" You scream trying to shake him
"YUJI COME ON, YUJII" you felt Megumi's had touch your shoulder and try move you away but it was no use, you let him die.
"I'm sorry Yuji. I didn't mean to I swear! I tried but your right, I should have tried harder, after all they would have needed you more then me." You said gliding the pocket knife smoothly down your arm letting the red spill out and onto the floor.
You whinced but immeditaly thought of Yuji and his dearth again
"Your the second one I let down, I keep letting people die, why do I let you die? I have no right to cry for anything other then your death." You said holding back tears.
"Y/N!" You heard a horrified yell. You turn your head only to be met with Megumi rushing over to you.
"I let them die Megumi, I'm a killer. I'm so sorry." You said dropping the pocket knife on the floor.
"I LET THEM DIE MEGUMI! MY BROTHER, YUJI, I LET THEM DIE, I DID" You said face streaming with tears as Megumi grabbed your arm and wrapped his uniform around it so the bleeding would lessen.
"NO YOU DIDN'T" Megumi yelled looking at you.
"No you didn't Y/N" he sighed as you felt your knees weaken and sank to the ground followed by Megumi.
"Megumi, you should help me leave jujutsu tech, I can't be here anymore, i'm just a burden. Don't you all get sick of pretending that i'm not?" you asked hiding your face in your free hand.
"Your not one Y/N. Look i've never told anyone else this but I have an older sister, she's in hospital and I can't save her. I don't think her eyes will ever open again but thats why i'm here, fighting for her, hoping that one day she'll be free of the curse and the world will be bright and safe for her." Megumi said taking ahold of your other hand pulling it away from your face.
"You can't save everyone." He said looking right into your eyes.
"But I could have." You said in defeat your body slumping forward, head into Megumis chest.
Shit how much had you bleed out?
Your blood dropped through his uniform. Without thinking Megumi scooped you up and ran to Shoko. She did her job and fixed you up but you had to stay in the clinic over night while she moniterd your recovery because you never woke up, your body was still in shock of the amount of blood loss.
The while night Megumi held onto your hand next to your bed. You woke up to see his mess hair on you bed.
You squeezed his hand
"I can never forgive myself Megumi, but I can live with myself for now." You whispered.
"Then I'll make you see it's not your fault and never was." Megumi said rising his head groggily.
THANKS FOR READING ♡
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AUTHORS NOTE: okay so I may have made the self harm a but extreme but if you ever feel remotely suicidal or depressive reach out and find help, I'm always here, sure I'm just another person in the internet but I'm still a person and have sent with these things multiple times before. Obviously reach for close or professional help first though. Have a good whatever time.
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samioli · 7 days
Note
I humbly ask for your NaruMitsu headcanons. Please
OOOOH man. this is hard to think on the spot but ill try my best! SFW headcanons:
-Phoenix is Bi. He also experimented with larry in college, you cannot convince me otherwise fdsnjkdsf
-Miles is gay (in my mind) and also demisexual!
-phoenix has ADHD and BPD, Miles is autistic
-Miles either makes too little eye contact or too MUCH eye contact. no in between
-Miles may pretend to be indifferent, but he LOVESSSS phoenix's scruffy look during the 7yg. finds it v hot and wants to stim on his stubble
sorry i cannot think of anymore sfw headcanons JNDFKJNDSFJK
NSFW Headcanons
-I think they're switches, but I think Miles leans more into being submissive of the two of them. Just my opinion! and i think he can def be dominant, especially if phoenix wants that.
-going off of that, i think it takes time for him to be comfortable with that too. In my head, he's tried to hook up with other men in the past, but he always felt sick to his stomach when trying. He thought for a while if he was in control that would help, and i think part of him def wants to be in control when he's with strangers, but once he's with phoenix he learns that he can start to let go of some of that control in a safe, loving environment. and eventually he's like putty in phoenix's hands
-Once Miles and Phoenix start dating, miles at this point thinks he's asexual and "warns" phoenix, bc he's concerned it might be a dealbreaker. phoenix totally understands, tells him they never have to have sex if that was what was comfortable for miles, that he loves Miles as a person. miles is so smitten with this man
-Phoenix often checks in with Miles during like kissing and everything if its all okay, and one day when they're making out, Phoenix pulls back and asks him if he's okay--Phoenix with his hair a lil messy and his checks flushed and lips swollen. and miles is like. oh
-He feels himself actually WANTING to touch phoenix and make him look even MORE disheveled and he's just SO overwhelmed but in a GOOD way and he WANTs
i think it goes down like this:
Phoenix: "U-Uh, Miles? Should we, uh--hnghh--sl-slow down, or…?" Miles stops for a moment: "Would you like to stop?" Phoenix, sheepish: "W-Well, no, but what about you? Isn't this--?" Miles: "Wright. I'm quite certain if you do not take your trousers off right this second, I will surely explode." Phoenix: Phoenix, internally: ᴏʜ ᴍʏ ғᴜᴄᴋɪɴɢ ɢᴏᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛs sᴏ ʜᴏᴛ
-once thats out in the open, miles is fucking KINKY. and a horndog. me and sapphirewine have joked that they're just going at it over and over again until phoenix runs dry bc miles is insatiable now that he feels like this
-miles def has some like, fantasy kinks. micro/macro. unrelastic kinks like that. cum jar who said that
-and phoenix is just a pure freak he's like YEAH SURE!!! WHAT ELSE!!!!! YOU WANNA BE THE NAUGHTY YEAST TO MY BAKER?
-they are so weird and i love them for it
-it gets to the point where its like they always "yes and" each other during sex. this is both good and bad. good bc they're in a loving relationship where they can trust each other and they're very similar with their kinks so they bond over that. Bad in the sense that they be having sex roleplay where, as sapph said once, "spilled milk on aisle 6 and grocery store employee" they'll somehow do it. i believe in them.
-they have very few limits i feel
-again. both good and bad dkfjndjksfn
my brain is getting sleepy so ill end it here but i hope you enjoyed my rambling!
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izukuisbaby · 2 years
Note
Okay but you know how some old washing machines kinda jumps and moves if those aren't stable?
Imagine how Izuku or Shoto would react to that happening when they are trying to help their S/O by doing their laundry.
They are alone and then when it starts to move they freak out or something  thinking it's going to explode or something 😭🤚
Then their S/O comes home and calms him down telling it's normal, the washing machine isn't just stabilized right maoo
Aww poor Izuku just trying to just help !❤
⊹˚.⋆ THEY TRY TO DO YOUR LAUNDRY - IZUKU AND SHOTO
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℘. flora's notes : LMAO I LOVED THIS REQUEST IT'S HILARIOUS, thank u baby 🥰 this is perfect cuz several people on my form requested more domestic stuff !
℘. female, male, gn reader friendly 💓
m.list | comment or reblog if you enjoyed !
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⊹˚.⋆ IZUKU MIDORIYA
℘. you've had such a stressful day at work, izu thought he would help with the chores
℘. his mom taught him how to do the laundry so he carefully placed all the products in the right compartments
℘. he started the laundry machine and sat on the couch
℘. about 10 minutes later, he hears a weird LOUD noise
℘. enjoy your trip into izuku's mind :
wait what's that noise
no no no it's the laundry machine, please don't tell me i messed up
okay calm down izuku, it's okay, you've been doing the laundry for years now
omg omg omg why is it shaking
WHY IS IT JUMPING ??? ITS LIKE LEVITATING OMG WHAT DID I DO
stop the machine, stop the machine, WHY ISN'T IT STOPPING
I'LL OPEN THE DOOR, IT SHOULD STOP.
OH NO OH NO THERE'S WATER EVERYWHERE OMG IM SUCH A DUMBASS BAKUGO WAS RIGHT
℘. "izu baby I'm home !"
oh shit shit shit, they're gonna hate me, what if they break up with me ? no that would be a stupid reason to break up with someone. shut up izuku, go out there and explain
℘. "Y/N" he yells hugging you "I AM SO SORRY I TRIED TO MAKE YOUR LAUNDRY BUT THE MACHINE STARTED SHAKING AND I PANICKED SO I OPENED THE DOOR AND NOW THERE'S WATER EVERYWHERE"
℘. "izu, that's normal" you chuckle and put a hand on his cheek, "thank you for trying to help, let's clean that up together"
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⊹˚.⋆ SHOTO TODOROKI
℘. he's never really done chores-
℘. but he wants to be the best, most useful boyfriend for you
℘. he looks up tutorials on youtube, which is what he decided to do for your laundry
℘. cutesy litle trip to shoto's traumatized mind 🥰
okay so i have to put the detergent there and the softener here
don't spill too much
now start, wait why is it ringing
oh nevermind it started anyway, I'll ask y/n about the ringing it's creepy and stressful
*he leaves the linen room*
what's wrong with the linen room, why is the washing machine shaking
did i do something wrong ? I'll just buy another machine and without ringing this time
the shaking is getting louder, WHY IS IT LOUDER, IT'S GOING TO EXPLODE
WHERE IS THE STOP BUTTON
oh fuck no
no i froze it
at least it's not going to explode
oh y/n's clothes are frozen too
℘. goes to the store and buys back everything he ruined-
℘. "sho im home ! wha-what's with those bags shoto ?"
℘. "I bought you new clothes because I froze the washing machine and your laundry" and he's like 😐 NO EMOTIONS
℘. "i mean, thank you sho- but we will need a new washing machine too..." you say taking his hand in yours
℘. "I bought one already, and it doesn't ring. the other one made too much noise"
℘. "HOW WILL WE KNOW THE MACHINE SUCCESSFULLY STARTED AND ENDED"
℘. "oh, thats what it was for"
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© izukuisbaby. comments appreciated ! although do not modify, translate, copy, claim as your own or repost on any app/platform/social media (this applies to all of my content)💓
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littlecryst4lbunny · 2 months
Text
Little Strawberry Chunk Muffins Recipe
Hewo!, This is my very first post and I thought i'd share something sweet with everyone. I love baking and learning new recipes. Today I will be sharing my own recipe for a little space treat I absolutely love! Strawberry Chunk Muffins is what i call them. :3 Make sure you have a CG help you if you're jus a babieee. Enjoy!
What You Will Need: (Makes 12 muffins)
TIP: (Instead of scooping with the measuring cups, use a spoon to put the ingredients into the cup, this way your measurement is more accurate and prevents muffins from being too hard or too soft)
2 cups of flour
2 tsp baking powder
3/4 tsp salt
1 cup sugar
1 stick of butter ( 8 tbsp)
2 eggs
1 1/2 tbsp honey
1/2 cup milk
1 1/2 cup strawberries
baking spray
3x4 muffin pan
large bowl
medium bowl
Instructions:
Preheat your oven to 350 degrees F.
In your medium bowl add all of your dry ingredients. *whispers* That's the flour, baking powder, and salt...
mix those very well!
now in your large bowl add the butter and beat the butter ( you should use a mixer but i dont have one yet so by hand is fine! it might take a while tho) You want your butter to be soft NOT runny. Think of cream cheese!
in that same large bowl add your sugar and mix it well
Now you can add the eggs. One at a time. Add one and mix it in. Then add the next one and mix!
Now you can add your honey (you can use vanilla extract but i prefer honey since it makes them taste better imo)
Add your milk and mix it all together you have two separate mixtures! Slowly add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients. You can use a small cup or just eyeball it. You can add your diced strawberries now. :3 Gradually mix in the dry mixture!
Now you should have a medium-thick mix. It should be kind of like pancake batter texture. (if it's too thick slowly add a little bit of milk :))
Spray your pan with baking spray! (if you don't have baking spray u can use butter!)
You can use a cookie dough scoop to get even batter in all the cups! if you dont have one you can eyeball it by just pouring it in from the bowl ;)
Wipe any spills off of the pan
Place the pan in the oven and let them bake for 25-30 minutes.
You should see them turning golden brown, to check if they are ready, stick a fork or toothpick in the center and pull it out. If they are ready the utensil should come out clean! NO BATTER. if there is still some batter let them bake a little longer!
There you go! Thats it! TASTY, CHUNKY, STRAWBERRY MUFFINS!! so yummy :3. This recipe is perfect for you and your little to make together or just for yourself! pls follow me for little recipes and more!
bye bye, MWAH :3
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sorikkung · 2 years
Text
what goes on in neverland. ⇝ ch. 3: conversations, conversations, camboys?
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word count: 9.8k
pairings: transmasc!reader x Everyone, everyone x everyone (its literally too convoluted for me to try type them out here anymore just see the masterlist for full pairings LOL)
genre: fluff, smut and lots of assorted shenanigans. hijinks, if you will
au: battle of the bands!au but make it gay and horny
warnings: adults talking abt their feelings, mutual masturbation, camming, bondage, remote controlled toys, edging, ruined orgasms, boys crying, cum swallowing but its realistic
a/n: the jump between me taking half a year to update to months to two within the same months??? progress is real guys. anyway we're finally delving into another pov this chapter how exciting!! a lot goin on, a lot of set up here i hope you guys are as excited as i am for what it leads to 🤭
please reblog and leave feedback if you enjoyed, it’s what keeps us writers going :’) (for every comment i get i open up a wip and write a few sentences. thats not bribery but literally just how motivating it is.)
tags: @honeybyunnies @syunderful @absentcaryatid @mingirn (lmk if you want to be added/removed!)
prev | masterlist | next
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>you: i got some mad fucking tea to spill are you ready
>mingi’s bitch: omg bet come over
>you: aight @energeric where r u
>you: ???
Figuring you’d just meet him at the couple’s apartment, you slip some shoes on and grab your keys from the hooks in your doorway to leave, only to find the very man you were pinging grabbing his to do the same.
“Oh, did you see the texts then?” you ask, figuring he’d be going too, but then it strikes you that he probably would’ve started pestering you for details already before you even made it to their apartment.
“No, I’m– I’m heading out. Gonna hit the gym with a buddy.” He pauses mid-way through slipping on his shoes and tying the laces to look up at you. “What happened? Dude, your cheek is bruising, are you becoming the same kinda painslut as Wooyoung is or did you get into a fight?”
“Got clocked in the face by Changbin at the food court with Wooyo today, but it’s what his boyfriend texted me afterward that I’m gonna go discuss with him– you should come, the tea is piping hot.”
He shakes his head, hastily finishing tying off his laces and getting up. “Nah, I don’t wanna leave my friend waiting, he’s already there. If you can’t brief it in a maximum of maybe four and a half sentences, it’s gotta wait.”
You snort. “What the fuck is half a sentence meant to look like?”
“And you just used one. Three and a half, go.”
“Changbin’s boyfriend is hot and Felix is still definitely in love with you.”
For a moment, Eric doesn’t say anything at all. He just stares at you, unblinking, and you expect his eyes to widen or his brows to raise or show any inkling of surprise after a few seconds, but he doesn’t. For once you can’t read the dark clouds in his eyes, though you know he’s definitely having some sort of emotional reaction to the news, but he simply turns to grab his keys as if you didn’t say a thing.
“Cool.”
“Cool?” It stumps you, how normal he’s acting when you’re positive he’s feeling anything but. He’s a man who wears his heart on his sleeve and doesn’t hide how he feels, so the way he’s been acting in regards to Felix raises a few questions. Granted, you didn’t expect him to go running back to him – or maybe you did, just partially – but you certainly expected more than that. “That’s it? I thought you still liked him.”
He sighs deeply through his mouth and twirls his keys around his finger idly while standing in the doorway. “Why would I? Yes, I still like him. Maybe a part of me always will. But he’s the one who broke up with me because he didn’t have time for me. Now I see where that time went, and frankly, I don’t think I have time for him either. I too would rather focus on the people I care about. I don’t care if he still loves me. If he really, truly did, as much as I loved him? He’d do a better job at showing it.”
“That’s… fair,” you sound out slowly, nodding. It makes perfect sense, and in hindsight if he’d jumped at the opportunity first you might have even warned him for being too hasty for that very reason. “Don’t worry, he’ll see what he’s missing. We’ll wipe the floor with him and all of his friends.”
Eric gives you a nod and a half smile that doesn’t reach his eyes, then bids you goodbye and heads off. How abrupt, you think. You’ll probably come back to that one later.
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There are many benefits to dating Jung Wooyoung, Mingi finds. One of them is that it can never really get boring. Everything about Wooyoung is exciting, and he tries to share that with Mingi as much as possible, whether that be spicing up what they try out in the bedroom or taking him on all sorts of wild adventures for dates, or just always having something going on exciting enough to talk about even on their lazy days.
Today is no exception; he sits on their couch in just his sweatpants, while Wooyoung lies draped across his lap in only his t-shirt. Not his own, but Mingi’s, naturally, and he’s already accepted he won’t get it back until it stops smelling like him. When today’s excitement – you, of course – strolls in and gives them a knowing look, he shakes his head before even greeting you.
“We weren’t fucking this time. Though if you took any longer we might’ve!”
It certainly wouldn’t be the first time you’ve walked in on them in more provocative positions, if that were the case – most times these days, they don’t bother to stop at the interruption, and more often than not you’re quick to join in on the fun anyway. It’s not unheard of, however, for you – or any of the other band members, for that matter – to pass on joining in and merely scroll on their phone or read a book or snack while in the very same room as the deed is being done, but nobody really minds. It’s just a thing that happens, at this point, just as normal as eating or playing video games. You all prefer it that way.
Hell, Mingi is a huge fan of the concept. It didn’t take Wooyoung very long to figure out how much he enjoys showing off, so as soon as his days of being a little shyer and more self-conscious fell behind him in favour of his newfound confidence in his sex appeal and comfort with the band, he became quite the tease when he has an audience. Perhaps that’s why he was all too keen to let Wooyoung drag him down the corridor Changbin went down at the battle of the bands and start making out with him on the spot, knowing – no, even better, hoping – the other man would be watching.
“Without me? How cruel.” You’re quick to join them on the couch, cuddling into Mingi’s side and allowing Wooyoung to sprawl across your lap as well. They both silently appreciate how you fit so easily into their lives as to not even need so much as a greeting when you arrive at their apartment. It’s your home as much as theirs, probably helped by how the whole band lives in the same apartment complex, albeit different floors. At this point, you might as well all be roommates. “Though I suppose I’ll be the crueller one, considering I’m gonna be having a threesome with Changbin and his hot boyfriend and you’re not invited.”
“What?!” Wooyoung jolts up off your laps, staring at you like you just grew a second head. “Why the fuck not? After I sucked the soul out of him that one time? Damn, he has no idea what he’s missing, I’ve only gotten better since.”
“Actually, he kinda does,” you chuckle, taking his place across his and Mingi’s laps so you can cheerily grin up at him and poke your tongue out. “Little birdy told me it was, to this day, the best head he’s ever had. Not that he’d ever admit it.”
“Wait a second, who was the little birdy? Changbin or Minho?” Mingi asks, idly tapping his fingers on your back while the gears turn in his head. Truly, excitement follows Wooyoung wherever he goes — he doesn’t even need to try.
“Minho. We’re Instagram mutuals now, apparently. He had soooo much juicy tea for me. Like how the reason Changbin is gonna deny all your advances is because he’s been in love with you since high school but doesn’t wanna admit it, even to himself.”
Wooyoung freezes, and Mingi freezes at Wooyoung freezing. Mingi doesn’t know the full details of Wooyoung and Changbin’s history beyond being best friends in high school with another friend who went back to Korea — Yeonjun, Mingi thinks his name was — and that the three of them helped each other experiment and realise that they all liked boys. It sounded very casual, and Mingi figured that makes sense; Wooyoung was one of the key players in opening the band up with each other more physically, and, by extension, his relationship with Mingi. Wooyoung is just the kinda guy who likes being physically and sexually affectionate with his friends, and that didn’t bother him. Not when he enjoyed it almost just as much. In many ways, Wooyoung was the reason Mingi could come so far outside his shell. He’d forever be grateful to him for that.
It takes Wooyoung a good, long moment to remember to breathe again before he bursts out laughing, loud and wide and unfiltered in all the ways Mingi just can’t help but fall for. He isn’t sure what is so inherently hilarious about Changbin’s feelings for him, but he doesn’t realise he’s grinning goofily until you give him a very particular smirk that he’s awfully familiar with. The ‘You’re so damn whipped it’s written all over your face’ smirk. But who in their right mind can blame him? At least, that’s what he thinks to himself while his lover takes a moment to recover.
“No way,” he says at last, “Changbin? In love with me after all these years? Oh, that’s rich. You don’t think- you don’t think that’s the real reason they joined the battle of the bands, is it? To see me again?”
“You and your massive ego,” Mingi huffs, nudging him in the shoulder. “I mean, possibly? I feel like it’s more likely that they’re tryna suck JYP’s dick. But that and Felix possibly holding some resentment for Eric and doing it out of spite might be part of it too.”
“Nah, Felix doesn’t resent Eric,” you inform him, “He’s still in love with him. Did Wooyoung not fill you in? That’s why Changbin was all like, ‘just because Felix still likes Eric doesn’t mean you can use him like that!’ It’s kinda the whole reason I got clocked in the face, which was lucky for your boyfriend’s pretty face because if I wasn’t there, it would’ve been him.”
“He didn’t really fill me in, no,” Mingi pouts, shouldering him again, but Wooyoung only scoffs and shoulders him back. “He was too busy telling me all about how hot Changbin was in a fitted t-shirt and how you went flying across a table to really elaborate on the why. Also how hot that Minho guy is and how he seemed down for the double date, so I’m wondering why all of a sudden we’re not invited to the gangbang!”
“Pfft. It’s- Just read the texts.” You unlock your phone and shove it in his hands to save yourself more explaining. Wooyoung snatches it from you before Mingi can grab it, so he simply leans over his shoulder to read without further complaint.
>lino.ooo: i wish he’d understand that being attracted to other people doesn’t mean i love him any less
>lino.ooo: but him accepting that would mean accepting he has feelings for people who aren’t me either 🤭
Mingi reads this and his first instinct is to look at Wooyoung’s face. Wooyoung, eyes adorably wide and almost trying to shove his face into the screen with how invested into these texts he is. The puzzle starts to piece itself together in Mingi’s brain, sneaking suspicions he hasn’t accepted enough to address yet, but he can’t help but feel for Minho’s situation.
>lino.ooo: but i’ve been dating him for a couple years now, and i’ve been his friend even longer, i know the signs. i know what he looks like when hes in love with someone, because he’s like that with me, too
That makes him look at Wooyoung once again, analysing every detail on his stupidly perfect face, and that’s when it really clicks. Mingi feels for Minho because it’s too easy for him to imagine himself in similar shoes – possibly because he’s already standing in them. And possibly has been for a long time now.
He thinks back to how their open relationship all started; how you and Sunwoo had been best friends with benefits since your last year of high school before you dropped out and ran away without him, anyway, and Eric since not long after, jokingly justifying your relationship with there being ‘nothing wrong with kissing the homies goodnight.’ It was an inside joke at first, one followed by obnoxious PDA between your trio or Mingi and Wooyoung calling themselves ‘totally platonic homies’ despite having been dating for a while, but somewhere down the line you had all started actually giving each other goodnight kisses.
He thinks about San, who used to blush such a pretty pink at the gesture, and how he couldn’t help himself turning a chaste peck on the lips to a kiss that lingered, hands that wandered – next thing he knows, Wooyoung is running to him saying he fucked up, genuine fear in his eyes, quick to confess how his goodnight kiss with San escalated to making out against a wall and how it all happened so fast and he stopped it as soon as she realised he was enjoying it too much for a goodnight kiss and ran to Mingi first thing to come clean. He had apologised so vehemently that day, like he was really, truly scared he would lose his lover for such a careless mistake; Mingi then wonders how much of that fear lies beyond the simple kiss.
How much of it was the feelings San made him feel that scared him so.
He decides to keep these thoughts to himself for the time being. After all, maybe he’s simply overthinking again, comparing himself to the other rapper now that he’s come and changed up the scene. Wooyoung has a type, it seems. Thick lips, broad shoulders, reckless confidence, and spits fire on the mic. He wonders how long it’ll be before he inevitably falls for Sunwoo, too. He fits the type to a T. Maybe he already has, actually, he isn’t too sure – but he’s far surer that the way he looks at you, San and Changbin, isn’t the way people usually look at their platonic friends. Or their former friends who they haven’t seen in years and desperately want to get in the pants of and show off to.
Mingi remains quiet.
“Well, I think our next plan of attack is rather obvious,” Wooyoung hums, barely concealing his excitement. However, neither you nor Mingi seem to follow, so you wait for him to realise and elaborate. “Like… if he doesn’t even realise he’s in love with me, we gotta make sure he does.”
“What is that even supposed to mean?” Mingi ponders aloud, raising an inquisitive eye at Wooyoung. He stares back at him.
“Exactly what it sounds like? We need to make Changbin realise he’s in love with me whether he likes it or not. Like, he’s in love with me, that’s so exciting? This whole time? I was literally his gay awakening, I gotta remind him how he got to this point in the first place.” Wooyoung states it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, but Mingi simply blinks, then cuts you off before you can say anything.
“Why?”
That renders both of you silent, and it’s only then when Wooyoung and you seem to finally notice the seriousness of Mingi’s expression, the atmosphere sobering up so quickly it gives him whiplash.
“B-Because… come on, it’ll be fun! What’re you looking so serious for, I'm not the one in love with him! I think I just get a sick sense of satisfaction from it. Plus, he’s hot, you’ve already agreed with me that much, do you not want to make him squirm a little?”
Mingi only frowns harder. It’s true, they already discussed bringing Changbin and even Minho into the bedroom if the opportunity presented itself, but this wasn’t quite the opportunity he was thinking about. If Wooyoung sleeps with someone who he knows likes him like that, wouldn’t that be more than just a casual fling? Why would he want to engage when he knows feelings are involved already? Mingi thinks he knows the answer.
It begs the question, considering when it was brought up they never defined what ‘messing with’ other people implied. Mingi figured they were on the same page in it meaning just having sex or touching or kissing, but now he wonders if he missed something. “How far does our ethical non-monogamy go?”
“What are you–“
“Wooyoung, you’re really excited to hear that your old best friend likes you like that… what’s so exciting about it? You have me already.”
“What? I’m not excited, I just–” Wooyoung flounders at the accusation, bumping you out of the way so he can crawl half on top of Mingi, so he sees just how serious he is. Like the physical closeness would bridge the gap slowly forming. “Jagiya, that’s not what this is at all. I haven’t felt like that about Changbin since I was like, seventeen–“
“So you admit you did once have feelings for him, then?”
“Woah, woah! What is with that accusatory tone? Mingi, I’m not going anywhere. I’m yours, only yours.” He grabs both of his boyfriend’s hands in his, clasping them tightly while he looks in his eyes, wavering. It’s almost uncomfortable to watch. “There’s no competition. Whatever feelings I had for him back then are long gone now, it’s really just a sex thing, like we have with the band, that’s all it is! You know you’re the only one for me, you know I wasn’t even interested in settling down before you, that’s how much you mean to me. I’m yours, first and foremost, no one else’s. However else I get my dick wet doesn’t matter, it– it doesn’t change that. What we have is so much more than that.”
It’s definitely uncomfortable for you to watch now, evident in the way you try to awkwardly shuffle away from them. If Wooyoung notices anything off he doesn’t mention it, gazing almost unblinkingly into Mingi’s eyes in hopes it’ll make him feel his sincerity, but the only sincerity Mingi feels in that moment is Wooyoung’s sincerity to himself. Like he’s trying to convince himself of this just as much as him.
He can’t just tell him that, though. Who is he to tell his boyfriend which of his feelings are real or not? Who is he to say he’s deluding himself? That would be borderline gaslighting if he did, but he can’t ignore the signs that are becoming increasingly obvious the longer he stews on them. He speaks in Korean next in hopes that you won’t catch the meaning of his words.
“Your ears go red when you lie, Wooyoung.”
His mouth opens to say something, then shuts, then again, soundlessly appearing almost like a gaping fish. You don’t stay to hear more, quickly and wordlessly grabbing your phone back from where it had fallen to the couch in Wooyoung’s surprise and trying to make as little noise as possible on your way out to not disturb them. Mingi doesn’t blame you; all of a sudden the air in the room feels awfully stuffy and borderline suffocating, but he has to face this head-on, or else Wooyoung will be lightly dancing around the topic until it escalates.
“I’m not lying,” Wooyoung mumbles, his voice small and caught in his throat. “Is that really what you think I’m like?”
“I– Look, Wooyoung, I’m not going to tell you how you do or don’t feel, I just… Minho’s texts felt kind of relatable when he was talking about how he noticed how his boyfriend looks at other men because he knows what his in love look, looks like. I saw the way you look at Changbin and it just… reminded me of that. But I also see the way you look at them, too,” he gestures towards the door where you just made your escape, “and San. Honestly, I can argue for all of the band, but those two in particular, you look at them the exact same way you look at me. And I just… don’t know what I’m supposed to do about that. How I’m supposed to feel about that.”
Wooyoung shakes his head slowly, almost in disbelief. “There’s nothing to feel about. I meant what I said–“
It’s the denial that gets him. Maybe it wouldn’t sting so much if he just came clean and confessed it, admitted to feeling things for other people, and maybe they could talk about it and what it meant for their relationship, but if he can’t realise it himself they won’t get anywhere. And the more he tries to deny it, the more he digs himself into a hole that only highlights Mingi’s very suspicions.
“No you didn’t. Is that really all the band is to you? Just another way to get your dick wet?”
He pauses, settling back down on his legs as the weight of his words finally sink in. “No, I… of course they’re more than that, they’re... I probably shouldn’t’ve said that in front of him, I’ll– I’ll have to apologise to him later.”
Mingi nods. “Yeah, you should. Like, aren’t we constantly going on about how platonic love is just as meaningful as romantic love? Isn’t that why we’re as close with the band as we are? Saying that what we have is so much more than that just because its romantic is so diminishing. That’s how I know you don’t mean it – you don’t believe that, do you? That’s against everything we both believe in.”
“Well, yes, but–“ he gnaws on the inside of his cheek, trying to formulate a response. “I guess I panicked? I just don’t want you thinking after all we’ve been through together that I’m gonna be into Changbin now all of a sudden just because he likes me. As far as romantic love goes, I just want you. I don’t want anything to change that, to change what we have.”
“We don’t have to change anything,” Mingi reminds him calmly, hands smoothing over the smaller man’s thighs in a soothing motion. “I just want you to be honest with me, and honest with yourself. I won’t be mad at you if you like other people because I know you love me, I just… want you to be able to tell me. To trust me.”
Wooyoung nods silently, slowly at first, then frantically. “I-I will. I’m sorry, Mingi.”
“What are you apologising for?”
“I–“ He falls flat. “I don’t know.”
“Then don’t apologise,” Mingi reassures him with the faintest of smiles, cupping his face and pulling him in for a gentle kiss. “Well, maybe do apologise, just not to me. I apologise for putting you on the spot like that.”
Wooyoung chases his lips after the first kiss, hands slipping around the back of his neck and pulling him in, kissing him deeply and sending tingles down Mingi’s spine. They’re both just so handsy, grabbing at whatever they can reach, Wooyoung drawing closer into Mingi’s lap to close the distance between them, so they can hold each other while they kiss like this. Mingi is honestly content to simply kiss him like that for hours on end, but Wooyoung seems to have other plans as their kisses grow hotter and their hands wander further, teeth digging into lips and nails digging into skin.
When he breaks apart, it’s to slip down Mingi’s lap and onto the floor on his knees, spreading Mingi’s legs apart and reaching for the band of his sweatpants. On his knees for him in nothing but his shirt, Mingi knows he’ll never not be affected by such a sight – if it isn’t old by now it probably never will be, and Mingi finds comfort in that. He likes knowing his boyfriend has him wrapped around his pinkie finger, and that he’ll never fail to drive him wild. It’s safe, secure, how his heart beats for him.
“Let me show you exactly how much you mean to me,” Wooyoung murmurs, low and sultry, but it has the opposite of the intended effect. Mingi tenses up, grabbing both of Wooyoung’s wrists on instinct, then pushes them away from him. The flash of distress on Wooyoung’s face doesn’t slide past him, but he doesn’t have it in him to feel too guilty about it.
“Wooyoung,” he breathes out, not letting go of his wrists. “How is this any different? How is having sex with me proving how much I mean to you when you just said all your relationships with other men are just about sex? What kind of message are you giving me with this?”
How Mingi’s heart beats for Wooyoung is safe. He knows that no matter what happens, that will never change – it will always beat for him. That much he is sure of.
Whether Wooyoung is the same, however, he is not.
His mistake seems to crash down on him all at once, and he slips his hands free and back to his sides as he scrambles to his feet in panic. “No, no, I didn’t mean–“
“Just… stop,” Mingi sighs, running a hand through his hair. He’s tired. He doesn’t want to wrestle with – whatever this is that they’re wrestling with – any longer. “I don’t wanna go in circles again, can we just… cuddle?”
Wooyoung is eager to oblige, grabbing a throw blanket off the couch and curling up to Mingi’s side with a quickness he only ever really sees from him on-stage, but he's visibly relieved at the change of topic though guilt still lingers on his features. Mingi turns on the tv; white noise at this point, to leave him alone with his thoughts. Well, not too alone, with Wooyoung in his arms, but he likes it that way. Maybe a small part of him fears that if he lets go, he’ll lose him – but mostly, he just enjoys having him close, even when they’re not the happiest with each other. They’ll get through this.
He leans his head atop the crown of his lover’s, not before pressing a quick kiss to the top. Wooyoung buries his face in his shoulder, returning the kiss to his bare skin, and in that moment, that is all Mingi needs.
That’s enough excitement for one day.
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It’s only when you finally get back to your apartment and shut the door behind you do you finally feel like you can breathe again, far away from the stuffiness of the couple’s apartment and the thick tension between them as they fought right in front of you. Not the first time they had done so, and you are usually comfortable enough in their home to just scroll on your phone on their couch until they’re done, but you’re not sure you’ve witnessed a fight quite so personal between them before. Besides, it’s not like you had anything planned for staying longer, so it felt easier to get out of there as soon as you can rather than wait it out as a spectator and hope they’d feel up to sex or video games or going for a cheeky fast-food run in the aftermath.
Sunwoo is sprawled across the couch when you arrive, and he raises his eyebrow at you over his shoulder when he notices the loud exhale at finally arriving home.
“What, did your gossip sesh with Woogi not go so well?” he jokes, but when you plop yourself across his lap, staring up at the ceiling with a humourless chuckle back, he figures he’s probably exactly right.
“Yeah, you could say that.”
“Wanna talk about it?” He turns off his phone and slips it back into his hoodie pocket to give you his full attention, so you sigh.
“So the goss is that Felix is in love with Eric still, which I already told him and he doesn’t wanna do anything about it, which is fine, and then the other part was that Changbin has been pining over Wooyoung since high school. Which is like, a long ass time to be pining over someone you’ve barely seen since, but it’s enough that his boyfriend noticed – oh yeah, I’m leaving out details again. So Changbin ran into me and Wooyoung at the food court and punched me in the face–“
“–he what?! –“
“–yeah full-on sent me falling over a table, it was hot– yeah and then in a last ditch attempt for him to not like, literally knock my lights out in the middle of the plaza, I complimented his muscles and fed his ego enough for him to be too busy preening to deck me, and then his boyfriend came in. Lee Minho, or Lino apparently is his stage name, and he grabbed my ass, put a metaphorical leash on his boyfriend and basically said we had a point and then plugged Stray Kids’ Instagram, to which obviously I had to stalk, and then I followed his account because he has three really cute cats and we started dm-ing and– here I’ll just show you the messages.”
Sunwoo is straight-up laughing by the time you finish your tale, grabbing your phone from you as you pull up the direct messages with the eccentric man. “You know, just because you’re a rapper doesn’t mean you have to exercise that breath control when telling a story, take it from me.”
“This is how I normally talk!” That draws an exasperated giggle from you, and that’s enough to ease some of the tension that was weighing on your shoulders from the argument. “Basically, you’ll see what I’m talking about when you scroll down to it, but basically I told all this to Wooyoung and he was like, ‘If Changbin has feelings for me and doesn’t even notice I gotta make him notice,’ which for obvious reasons made Mingi a little uncomfortable, because why would he care about his crush on him if he’s already happily taken anyway? So he asked how far their ethical non-monogamy is meant to go and Wooyoung got all defensive and basically said that Mingi is his everything and everyone else is just how he gets his dick wet but doesn’t compare to him, and honestly… that one kinda stung a little.”
Sunwoo visibly winces at that, looking away from the messages to make sure you are okay. “Ouch.”
“Yeah.” You huff, sinking further into the couch and mentally hoping it absorbs you completely. “I dunno it was just so… tense for that moment there. Felt like there was a lot to unpack. Mingi seemed to think so, too, because then he just switched to speaking in Korean and I took that as my cue to leave.”
“Do you remember what he said?” Sunwoo offers helpfully; you aren’t fluent in Korean by any means, but being friends with a whole band of Korean speakers and roommates with two of them forces you to pick some basics up over the years. Especially with Sunwoo practically acting as Eric’s personal tutor, as the latter didn’t learn to speak it growing up but was familiar enough with it for it to be easier for him to learn. Similarly, Kevin never learned it at home either, but was a lot better at self-studying than you were and had also been learning for a lot longer – you had only decided to really commit to it after moving in with the boys and hearing how much they would practice at home.
“I recognised the main words, I think. ‘You’, ‘red’, ‘ears’, and ‘lie’. Lying maybe? It doesn’t take a genius to figure out where that was going, though.”
Sunwoo nods, reaching down to play with your hair in a motion you think is supposed to be comforting. It does help. “That’s pretty awkward. How do you feel about it? What are you thinking?”
It’s in times like these when Sunwoo’s maturity shines through; while usually he’s one of the first to goof off and tease or get fired up and in his feelings, in contrast, he can often be very objective with other people’s issues.
“I feel… weird. Like I saw something I probably wasn’t meant to see,” you start with a sigh. It’s hard to place exactly what you’re feeling at first. “It was kind of… disheartening? The way Wooyoung talked about him and Mingi. I don’t know how to explain it, it was just so… uncomfortable. How he kept saying Mingi is basically like, above the rest of us, when I thought we all agreed that romantic relationships shouldn’t be the be-all-or-end-all of human connection because other bonds can be just as strong, but he kept emphasizing how what they have is so special and how he’s Mingi’s and no one else’s, and it’s like… what does that make us? I know he’s not our boyfriend, but I like to think we’re a lot more to him than just friends who get his dick wet.”
Sunwoo mulls it over for a moment, then stills the movements of his hands to give you a steadfast look.
“Do you want us to be more than friends?”
The question kicks your heartbeat into overdrive, suddenly picking up like you’re being chased by an unseen beast that could snuff you out at a moment’s notice. You try not to let that alarm show, but you have the gut feeling that Sunwoo picks up on it, at least on your hesitance to respond, so you open your mouth to say something before it looks like your silence has more meaning to it.
“No– yes? I mean, aren’t we already more than friends, in a way? Friends don’t usually do what we do. Is there not an in between friendship and dating? Since when were we the types to be stuck in singular boxes and labels, huh?”
Sunwoo doesn’t seem to buy it, shifting beneath your weight so you sit up to let him adjust his position and get more comfortable. What you don’t expect, is for him to instead swiftly cage you between him and the couch, towering over you with his eyes boring into yours. He doesn’t touch you, his hands placed firmly on either side of your head, but the proximity makes it feel like his whole weight is pushing down on you.
He says your name unwaveringly. “If friendship is just as strong and important as romance, why do you not want to consider us just as friends?”
Your voice gets caught in your throat. You want to ask why he has to be so, so close to ask you such a question, but the time it takes to gather your wits to reply is probably exactly the reason. You can’t lie to him like this, you can’t bluff or flounder or get anything past him. When he looks into your eyes like this, he sees everything beneath him, and in that moment, you feel more naked before him than you ever have been even without the presence of clothes.
“I… because it feels weird to call you guys my friends. Cause I have other friends, I’ve had close friends with benefits, too, but you guys are just… different. It feels different. You guys aren’t on the same level as people I call my friends,” you explain, hoping that it makes even a lick of sense, but you fear now that you’ve said it out loud it only serves to prove Sunwoo’s point.
Do you want to date them? You’ve been bouncing the idea around in your mind for a few years now, and you still don’t have a clear answer. When you first met San and Kevin, the answer was yes. For Wooyoung and Mingi, it was an ‘if only,’ but they were fresh in their relationship at the time, so you figured they were off-limits. Eric and Sunwoo you had figured any attraction to them was just physical and a result of you messing around with them while also developing a meaningful friendship beyond being an experiment or a booty call, but that didn’t necessarily mean you wanted to date them.
But as the band formed and you all grew closer, they quickly became the most important people in your lives by a long shot, people you’re closer with than you ever have been with anyone else, and that’s uncharted waters. Throwing sexual attraction into the mix only further muddies them, because is it that you’re attracted to them as a person in a romantic sense, or you’re attracted to them and the fact that you’re close to them as people and care for them deeply seem inherently romantic through that lens? Is it possible to be attracted to someone physically and love them platonically? Your logic tells you yes, of course, queerplatonic relationships of all kinds exist, but you’ve gotten to the point where you don’t know the difference anymore. Not when this type of relationship is all you’ve ever known, and you’ve enjoyed them too much to bother trying to pursue anything romantic with anyone. After all, explaining to any possible romantic interest that you don’t plan on stopping sleeping with your entire band and whoever else strikes your fancy, and that you and your band are so incredibly close and live together and spend basically all your spare time together, doesn’t usually score you any second dates.
It's not like that has bothered you much, though, perfectly content with what you have with them – they know you far better than any romantic interests ever have, so why would you bother when you already have almost everything you could ask for in a connection? But that only sounds like you’re already dating them, or at least treating it like you are but dodging the big scary ‘label’ question to not frighten them off and burst your bubble.
“You’re thinking really hard right now,” Sunwoo comments, smirking as he analyses your face. Why is he smirking? What does he think he just won? You can’t read his at all. What you do know is if he doesn’t just close the distance and kiss you already you might just explode, but he’s determined on running his mouth and for once in your life you feel helpless to stop him. He’d see right through your attempts at distraction. “Are you finally putting two and two together? Because what I see, is that Wooyoung talking about Mingi as the only one for him made you uncomfortable because you don’t want Mingi to be the only one for him. You want him to be ours, isn’t that right? You want him to be yours, too.”
You feel like the slightest slip of the tongue will end in instant regret, your last coherent thought fizzling out. “Are you trying to tease me right now, Sunwoo? I’m being serious.”
“So am I.” He moves one hand to pinch your chin between his thumb and index finger, making sure you can’t look away from his steadfast gaze. “Dead serious. Do you want to date us? Be romantic with us, tell us those three words you’ve been too scared to say for too long, take us on dates that are explicitly dates, call us yours? Is that what you want?”
How are you even meant to answer such a question? Do you? Don’t you? What would happen if you said yes? Or no? Your head is swimming – if the energy at Wooyoung and Mingi’s apartment felt suffocating, the tension now felt like walking a tightrope with a blindfold on. One wrong step, one wrong breath and you plummet to your untimely demise, but the tightrope you tread on is merely a thread and may snap at any moment regardless.
He says your name again, calling your attention back to him, awaiting an answer.
You don’t have one for him.
The door swings open so violently it bangs against the wall, San bursting in with a shout and his laptop in hand, screen facing toward you, and the most positively mind-blown expression on his face.
“You guys won’t fucking believe what I just found–! Oh. Uh.” His voice is booming until it’s not, dropping to the lowest of volumes once he sees you and Sunwoo’s position on the couch and the seriousness on your faces. Both you and Sunwoo break that contact to look at him in surprise, his equally surprised face staring right back at you. It’s laughable, even, how San has walked in on far less innocent interactions between you guys before, but it seems that even at a moments notice he can feel the thickness of the tension in the room. “Should I uh. Should I come back later? Am I interrupting something?”
You want to say yes, but it’s not like you had an answer for Sunwoo anyway. You suspect Sunwoo will tell him to leave so he can continue drilling you in private, but instead his attention catches on to whatever’s on San’s laptop. It’s porn, which isn’t very surprising, but Sunwoo cuts off whatever he was about to reply and narrows his eyes.
“Is that… Hyunjin?”
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San is thrilled to launch into his story about how he was looking into camming as a potential source of income as he may or may not be about to get fired from the Snack Falcon he worked at after one too many shifts of just clocking on and leaving whenever he felt like it because hardly anyone shows up to that store anyway – “Ham Panther is literally right across the street,” he argued, “And they just sell the same shit, and more shit, for cheaper! Anyone who wants good food would have a better time at like, any other store that actually exists.” – but the final straw may or may not have been him and Eric smashing their old lights in the carpark at the back of the store when he was supposed to be closing.
“Jesus Christ, San,” you wheeze, “I’m honestly surprised it took them this long. Wait, but, wasn’t the reason they hadn’t fired you yet was because you were like, the only other employee they had?”
Sunwoo had given you a long, hard look before removing himself from you and letting San come in and go on about his story, which spoke all the words it needed to say. ‘We’ll come back to this later.’ You’re not sure you want to, but you’re happy indulge in San’s shenanigans for the time being and catch your breath again, even if it’s a struggle to shake off the heaviness of everything all at once so suddenly.
“Yeah, well, I was, but then this new guy joined, I think his name is Jeongin or something? I dunno, but it probably doesn’t matter since if he can take my shifts I’m probably done for. I’m at least gonna see a cut in my shifts, but also, I think the night shift guy is leaving, so there might be hope for me yet.”
“But not for your sleep schedule,” you joke, and San nods solemnly.
“Yup, no hope for that one. But anyway! Either way I was like, this probably won’t bode over well, and I’m hot as fuck so I might as well give a shot at being a camboy on the side? Like, seems easier than being a stripper, since I don’t have to learn how to dance or work a pole, and we have enough sex that I probably wouldn’t need to change much of my routine as much as just like, chucking on a camera every now and then. I could make sure your faces aren’t included in the shot, or I could just go solo. Helps to have an apartment to myself.”
“Keep flexing that on us, why don’t you?” Sunwoo huffs, rolling his eyes. He’s quieter than usual, but not enough for it to look like anything more than just being tired, but he’s no less sassy. “I’m less shocked you still have a job and more shocked that you can still pay for an apartment on your own.”
“Well, it helps that I don’t spend much on food,” San reasons, “Considering Wooyoung cooks enough to feed a small country and gets offended when we don’t eat it, and the rest of you guys don’t mind me raiding the fridge every other night or so.”
You snort. “Who said we don’t mind? You know the rule, if there’s only one left it’s not yours – take the last slice of pizza again and I will fucking end you, Choi San.”
He guiltily covers his hand with his mouth. “Oops! Enough of that though, so long story short I heard this site was pretty safe and pays well so I take a look to see what my competition would be like, and lo and behold… the one and only Stray Kids’ Hwang Hyunjin’s cock, balls and ass, first thing on my laptop screen. Viola!”
Placing himself on the couch next to you two with his laptop on his knees for you to see, he clicks play. You only recognise the man after your thorough Instagram stalking from earlier, but it’s definitely him – he doesn’t cover his face at all, the side of it pressed to the mattress with his ass up in the air, stuffed with a pink toy, hands tied behind his back and hard, leaking cock on full display for the camera, trapped in a cock ring that keeps vibrating around him. You wonder how he’s planning to untie himself after he finishes – or how he tied his own wrists behind his back anyway, and if he did that on camera or before turning it on, because there doesn’t seem to be anyone else with him. He must’ve been live for a while now because he looks on the brink of tears as the buzzing stops, brokenly whining and writhing on the bed.
“Please,” he whimpers, shamelessly shoving his hips down on the mattress where he’s stained it with his pre-cum already in an attempt to get any kind of stimulation while bound, “Please let me come. I’ve been so good for you guys, please, I was so, so close…!”
You can’t deny that the visual – hell, the audio too – is hot. Anyone with eyes, ears and a sexual attraction to men would agree on that much. While you thought you’d probably end up zoning out and overthinking your interactions with your bandmates the whole time, you find yourself instead transfixed with the performer on the screen and his alternative form of performance. Does his band know about this, you wonder? If not, it could be quite the juicy secret to leverage later. Regardless, heat simmers beneath your skin with every one of Hyunjin’s whiny pleas.
The chat is moving so fast you almost can’t keep up with it. But you do notice the sudden influx of donations, and suddenly the buzzing resumes again and Hyunjin’s whole body jolts as he squirms to get back on his knees so the camera can see his dick again. He doesn’t seem like he’s acting or playing much up, eyes glazed over and breathing heavy in between his honey-sweet moans. He’s so unfathomably pretty that even fucked out like this, he looks picturesque.
“Don’t come…? Guys please, please just let me come, haah, I’ll- I’ll put on such a pretty show for you I p-promise!”
San shamelessly adjusts the raging hard-on in his pants as you watch, hand hovering over the tracking pad. “So he’s managed to hook up both a cock ring and a vibrator to the site’s donations, but there’s options both to make it vibrate but also to make it stop, which I’ve never really seen before. It’s like a bidding war between the ones who want to edge him and the ones who want to make him come, which might be hell for him but holy hell is he raking in mad cash that way.”
“That’s actually so smart,” you hum thoughtfully, “Leveraging control freaks’ need for control to make even more money. Guess the orgasm denial enthusiasts are winning tonight, huh?”
“Do you think this is how they afforded all that fancy shit for their stage? Look, that guy just donated a hundred bucks to edge him again. If I can make this much money off camming, I can quit Snack Falcon for good and get like a day’s worth of pay in an hour or two!”
Sunwoo isn’t even paying attention to what he’s saying, fixated on the view on the screen and the sounds of Hyunjin’s whimpering filtering from the speakers. He slips a hand down the waistband of his pants and boxers to stroke himself languidly, wetting his lips. “He’s fucking hot.”
Jerking off to porn together isn’t exactly the most common activity between the renegades, but it’s not unheard of, either, if one of you happen to stumble across something hot enough to be worth sharing. It’s just that most of the time, with so many options readily available, you don’t really need to look for porn when the group chat’s attachments are full of it, and you could create an equally hot or even hotter scenario yourselves.
It’s still normal enough that you all just fall into it naturally without talking about it, San also tugging his cock free to jerk it a lot hastier than Sunwoo, obviously riled up from the moment he entered the apartment, shamelessly letting his head fall back and a groan filter from his lips at the sight. “He’s so fucking hot it’s unfair.”
Unfair to who? You think San is arguably just as breathtaking, but it doesn’t seem like the right time to voice that thought, especially after everything that just happened, so you keep that part to yourself and simply take in the sight of him, jaw clenched and almost fucking into his fist before turning back to the screen.
“Yeah, no kidding. Perfect face, perfect body, I can’t really say I’m surprised people are paying hundreds just to have their way with him,” you mutter in awe, working your fly undone because that visual is enough to make you throb but the sounds just make it maddening. Is that how desperate he usually sounds, or is that just him on camera? You’re itching to find out, already having decided on your next target for your borderline malicious flirting.
To your surprise, Sunwoo slaps your hands away with his free one before you can slip them down your underwear, but before you can protest or ask why he replaces it with his own, quick to rub at your enlarged clit without any of his usual teasing. You’re not sure if he just feels like it, or if it has anything to do with the conversation you were having before San interrupted, but if that is the case you’re not exactly sure what the message he’s trying to give is supposed to be. You don’t oppose to it though, happy to reach over and grab his dick instead, but he doesn’t let you do that either, clearly insistent on you not doing any of the work and him getting both of you off. You’re almost shocked that San doesn’t complain at being left out, but he’s not even looking at you two, just at Hyunjin’s trembling form on his laptop.
“O-Oh fuck, my love– my loves, I’m close, please, please let me come, d-don’t you think I deserve it? Ha-ah… please…!”
He desperately glances somewhere beyond the camera, and that answers your question from earlier; someone lucky is in the room with him – you wonder who, whether it’s a partner, a bandmate, or some else, but the thought doesn’t occupy you for long as much as the thought of him liking an audience even without a camera – watching as Hyunjin’s mouth falls open in a silent plea; please. He must be truly at his limit if he’s asking someone to interfere with his viewer’s wishes just for the sake of his orgasm, but the beautiful distress on his face tells you that whoever is on the other side of the camera isn’t budging. You like seeing him a mess like this, rather than the pretty and powerful man you saw on stage and talking to Felix at the Prism, and knowing that he’s your competition has you hoping they prolong his suffering just a bit longer; the thought of seeing him break and cry along with the feeling of Sunwoo’s skilled fingers between your legs has you almost dizzy.
“San, make him turn it off.”
“Wait, what?” San finally looks at you, hands balled into fists by your side as Sunwoo continues working his magic. “Like, turn off the stream or–“
“No, donate like twenty bucks to turn it off, I’ll pay you back later– I just hope no one pays higher to keep it on…”
“You’re cruel,” San scoffs, but he’s grinning just as sadistically as you as he sets up the donation to turn off the cock ring and the vibrator at the same time, and to your luck, as soon as the donation goes through, Hyunjin’s body goes limp as both toys immediately turn off.
“No, no, no, please let me come!” Hyunjin borderline screams, voice cracking under the strain as tears stain his pretty cheeks. His hips twitch in search of the stimulation he just lost, but within seconds he’s spurting cum all over his stomach and the sheets beneath him completely untouched, gasping and thrashing around on the bed. “No, fuck, no, please…”
He sobs into the sheets, the muscles in his arms bulging with effort to free himself from his restraints, but the moment passes and his dick is still achingly hard and an angry red from his ruined orgasm. His ruined orgasm after being edged for possibly hours by strangers, the orgasm that you decided to ruin just to see him squirm.
The rush of power hits you all at once, and with the addition of Sunwoo rubbing at your clit with vigour, you follow after Hyunjin, hips bucking up into Sunwoo’s warm hand as your high rolls through you in waves. You don’t make much noise beyond a brief groan, wanting to hear Hyunjin continue to plead, higher-pitched this time as the toys turn on again to overstimulate him after having his orgasm ruined. He’s an absolute wreck, covered in sweat, tears and cum, hair sticking to his face and framing his head on the mattress like a crown, and you find yourself coming harder than you usually would just from rubbing one out with someone’s fingers.
Sunwoo smirks, retracting his hand and licking them clean, moaning at the taste as he finishes in his own fist, grunting lowly at the feeling. Wanting to repay his generosity, you lean over and take his dick in your mouth, sucking it clean and making him twitch wildly at the oversensitivity, but you move to suck his fingers clean instead before it becomes too much, and he strokes your hair affectionately with his free hand as a silent thank you.
San is a lot louder as he gets closer, moaning and biting his lip, face scrunched up in pleasure. “Me next, please, I’m so close, just–“ He gently holds the back of your head, and you allow him to lead you to his cock and take the tip in your mouth, wrapping your hand around the base while you suck. “Fuck! Yes, just like that, thank you, fuck, I’m gonna come– can you– can I–“
You hum in confirmation, swirling your tongue around him and making sure to drag the ball of your piercing along the underside of the sensitive head just the way he likes it, and he comes within seconds, emptying his load on your tongue. As hot as the action is, it doesn’t taste great, probably due to the amount of americanos he’s been drinking as of late – so, feeling a little cheeky, you lean up to kiss him in his post-orgasm glow, and make sure to shove your tongue in his mouth and give you a taste of himself.
“Mmh–!” He makes a cutely disgruntled noise as you, for all practical purposes, spit his cum back in his mouth, but he doesn’t push you off him right away. When he does, he clicks his tongue a few times with a scrunched nose, tasting himself, then sticks his tongue out. “Okay, loud and clear, you don’t have to say it.”
You snicker at that, happy with your petty revenge and his endearingly peeved expression. “Less coming in my mouth till you lessen your coffee intake, ya nasty.”
San chuckles, covering his face with his arm in mild embarrassment. Only mild – it would probably be far more embarrassing with a partner or a hook-up, but the runaways unique closeness shines through once more as it doesn’t seem to bother him or ruin the moment. There wasn’t much of a moment to ruin, really – it was simply a casual release between friends. Bandmates. Whatever. It was casual, is the point, and comfortable enough to pick on each other like this and for him to dismiss it. “Yeah, yeah. Maybe I’ll invest in some pineapple juice or something.”
Sunwoo simply snorts at the exchange, tucking himself back into his pants and getting up. “Alright, I’m gonna go get us dinner, San are you staying?”
He beams, dimples on full display, charming as can be. “If you would be so kind, yes please.”
The other man simply rolls his eyes as he grabs his keys and goes to slip his shoes on. “I’m only so generous to you because you effectively pay for all our snacks by not looking while on duty.” He turns to you just as he’s about to head out the door. “Give some thought to what we were talking about earlier.”
San glances at you in confusion at you at that, but you don’t pay him any mind. “I think I wanna hear your answer first, mister.”
Sunwoo quirks a brow, the slightest of smirks pulling at his plush lips. That damn infuriating smirk that you usually love but is now driving you an entirely foreign kind of crazy that you are not equipped to deal with.
“Hm. I think that in itself tells me yours.”
He doesn’t give you a chance to elaborate or respond, stepping out into the hallway and shutting the door behind him, leaving you feeling as exposed as Hyunjin was on the screen moments earlier. Of course he has to get the last word in, that ass – but the implications of it haunt you all the way to your bed that night, staring at the ceiling, while Sunwoo sleeps with an arm around you like nothing – or maybe everything? – ever happened.
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quarktrinity · 5 months
Text
quark watches star trek season 2 episode 13
kirk slaps space rock
reusing those fog machines from a few episodes ago i see
obviously reversed footage of fog spilling out to make it look like its going back in
kirk has a trauma trigger in the smell of space honey
kirk says gaseous clouds are evil and should be killed
oh god all these guys are wearing red shirts and theres an evil cloud out and about. get out of there guys
evil space cloud using its glitter powers
nooooooo not the red shiiiiirrrrts noooooooooo
"something that cant possibly exist, but it does" thats the plot of like every episode dude. dont you watch your own show
shatner? i hardly know er!
just thought of that joke. im a genius
this episode is called "obsession". im so excited
space cloud vampire
i should add a square on the bingo card called "were going to be late to our space obligation because we have to resolve this plot first"
kirk has space ptsd
another lovecraftian episode
so the titular obsession is kirks. got it
new security officer. is he evil
kirk is so short
lets kill space gas dracula
SPACE GAS DRACULA SPACE GAS DRACULA SPACE GAS DRACULA
nooooooooooo not the red shiiiiiiiirrrrrrts nooooooooooooo
so crazy how they died. cant believe it. on this show? unprecedented
kirk has a vaguely homoerotic determination to kill space gas dracula
kirk says your reflexes suck youre fired
new security officer is very embarrassed and sad
kirk you need a xanax
"i need your advice" "then i need a drink" make out
so space gas dracula is kirks traumatic backstory. i already knew that but thanks spock
new security officers dad was murdered by space gas dracula. i love drama
kirk? having guilt? crazy
ohhhh this is so good, kirks projecting his own guilt onto the new security officer. i love when kirk has something psychological going on
mccoys gonna diagnose kirk with ptsd. im so excited
kirk shut up and let your bfs give u therapy
lets kill space gas dracula... 2!
so why is warp 8 dangerous. im not sure
SPACE GAS DRACULA SPACE GAS DRACULA SPACE GAS DRACULA
kirk has to Let Go
this episode is awesome
"your self pity is a terrible first course. why dont you try the soup instead?"
"this is [mccoys] officially logged prescription for you. it has one word on it: eat." i love this show
oh my god she was bullshitting him to get him to eat. this show is so good.
new security officer in a fit of anger throws his dish
wow so weird how conventional weapons dont work on the evil space cloud
is this supposed to be moby dick
SPACE GAS DRACULA HAS ENTERED THE SHIP
spock says your guilt is irrational, get therapy
SPACE GAS DRACULA SPACE GAS DRACULA SPACE GAS DRACULA
is spock immune to space gas dracula
obviously reversed footage... 2!
spocks Fine
space gas dracula thinks spocks blood is gross
i love kirk so much
kirk gives himself therapy through the power of projection. hold a mirror in front of someone elses face and tell them theyre beautiful
this is like if moby dick and dracula had a beautiful love child and left it in the care of hp lovecraft and then drained the racism out of it
oh so NOW this show knows how antimatter works
kirk once again keeps spock safe
the writers are once again terrified of nuclear bombs
SPACE GAS DRACULA SPACE GAS DRACULA SPACE GAS DRACULA
kirks uses himself as bait, new security guy gets in a physical fight with him about it
oh hes not? ok
oh he is hes just gonna make it out in time alright
BOOM GET EXPLODED IDIOT
were losing the security guy arent we
nope hes fine
spock says who needs god when you have me
kirk solves this dudes daddy issues
yaaayyyyyyyyyy
that episode was great
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isabella-111 · 2 years
Note
🍄
Sirius black pls
Am so sorry for all the requests
A/n: no worrys i love requests <333 sorry if there’s any misspellings also i went a little over board but i had fun
Warning: alludes to sex , friends with benefits , a bit of angst , smoking , and a few metions of fmab reader and she/her pronouns
Your song 505 by arctic monkeys
I looked at the stone ceiling smoking my cigarette as i layed naked on my best friends bed . I turn to my side and see the boy that i knew so well my best friend, sirius black. At this point i dont know if were still best friends or if were more but thats a conversation for another time. For now he was naked and asleep . I got off the bed putting on the clothes i was wearing the night before. Crushing my cigarette in the ashtray on his side table. I stared blankly at the wall putting in my clothes. since i woke up i cant stop thinking about how things used to be.
Before i was keeping secrets from my best friends , before he kissed me , before i started fucking sirius black , before it all.
Sometimes i wish i could go back to before the day he kissed me and go back to just playfully flirting with him , playing board games , and planning pranks . We still do those things but they feel different now . But Other times i wish we could go back to last night cause he was amazing , the way he treats me the way he acts with me , the way we are together . Its just amazing . The way he looks at me the way he says my name made me blush , but ive always hated the feeling of having to put on my clothes sneak out of the room and pretend nothing happened around our friends . Maybe I’ll end it with him
*a few days later *
I woke up again.......naked in my bestfriends bed . I couldn’t end it. I was planning on it but when i was gonna tell him something he flashed that smirk and suddenly i forgot all words, no thoughts except him no words but his name. We had been playing a prank when he whispered “505” which is his dorm number the number that meant “meet me at my dorm” . I really was planning on saying i wanted to go back to how it was , but at the i wanted him more.
I stared blankly at the wall as i put out my cigarette and put on clothes, clearly very used to this cycle already .it was already burned into my brain . What u didn’t account for was the open bottom drawer of Sirius’s dresser. My leg slippeed as i was putting on my pants hitting the open drawer causing a loud thump . Sirius began to stir .
“Fuck” I whispered . I rushed on my shirt and grabbed my things . Shoes in had i started to walk to the door
“ where you going” sirius said in raspy freshly morning voice
Fuck.....the morning voice one of my weekness . Very few things could break me , but without fail sirius’s voice and smirk always could .
“Going to class , didn’t mean to wake you”
Sirius looked at the clock on his side table “ at 5am “
“Its on...morning blooming flowers”
“ oh “ Sirius said as he sat up
“ yah so imma go “ i said pointing at the door
“Stay for a smoke” Sirius said holding a red back of cigarettes and smirking . The classic Sirius smirk
“ ok “ i said walking over to the bed and sitting on the side of the bed
We sat and smoked for a few minutes in comfortable silence i had learned to love. I layed my head on his shoulder and he had pecked my forehead before i knew it the cigarettes were half way done
Sirius broke the silence “ we need to stop doing this, we need to end what ever this is “
“ oh” was all i could say, Sirius was rhe one to break it off . the one who initiated it so often before o was i shock or relieved......no i was in shock.
“ im gonna go shower” he said blanky as he gor up
“ i should go” i finally spit out. I rushed out the dorm passing james and renus who were extremely confused on why i was there in the first place . I ran to my room and layed on my bed trying not to let the tears spill. I heard on a knock on my door
“ fuck its the boys” i thought to my self
I asked who it was and sure enough
“ its remus and james....love are you alright” remus said in a worrying ton
“ mhm im fine” i said in the calmest vouce i could make under these circumstances
“ i don’t believe you and coming in” james said
I love my friends but they never did understand social cues i got under the covers hoping i could fool them into thinking i just wasnt feeling well.
James sat on the edge if my bed as remus stood behind him
“Whats going on why were you running, are you alright” james said clearly worried
“Like i said earlier im fine just a little head ache.”
“ your eyes are red....we’re you crying” remus said
“ no, just a head ache imma take a bap see you guys later” i turned to my side hoping they believed it
It fooled james but didn’t pass remus
Remus rushed out of my dorm and ran to Sirius’s
“ what did you do” remus said in a stern voice
“ what do you mean” sirius said as he dried his hair
“ what did you to y/n shes in her room trying to me and James about her being sad when shes clearly crying and she ran out if your dorm so what the fuck did you do”
“ fuck” sirius said lowly almost whisphering
“ explain” said remus
Sirius explained everything how it started what just happened and everything in between
“ why would you break it off if you loved it so much” remus said
“ i ended it cause she deserves more than that. She tried ending it before i could tell in the way she looked at me but i would always tey to distract her hoping she wouldn’t leave me but i know she wants more, more then me . She deserves more “
“ you need to go talk to her explain that you live and you never wanna lose her and that you were such a dumb bloak that you had to push her away cause you were scared, dont be a idiot Sirius i see the way you look at her and i see the way she says your name you guys love each other and meeting in this room every few days just to fuck clearly isn’t the inly thibg you guys want, so make that clear to her instead if pushing her away” remus said
Sirus nodded and rushed out of room 505 before he knew it he was frantically knocking at my door
“ busy” i yelled hoping my voice didn’t sound of tears
“ please let me in i messed up”
“Sirius ?” I walked up to the door and opened it
The door opened and i saw y/n standing there her eyes red and cheeks stained with tears, fuck im a idiot. I didn’t have words to express my slef i hated seeing her cry . Even worse if it was cause if me .
Before i knew it sirius pulled me into a hug whispering “ im so sorry please dont cry love im a idiot and i only ended things cause i was scared and i dont want lose you”
“ Sirius i cant keep doing what we were doing” i said
“ i don’t expect you to darling i want to go on dates with you i want to have dinner and go in picnics what im trying to say is y/n would you go on a date with me “
“I’d like that sirius”
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hollyhomburg · 2 years
Note
Loved this chapter, tho mc is so much more patient than I’ll ever be. Id be quite tired of dealing w the packs anger towards me over something that I couldn’t control 😭 like at some point I’d be telling Jin and Hobi to get over themselves. Like did Hobi miss the memo that yoongi claimed her bc she would have died if he didn’t? That she begged him not to? And he says that SHE’S the one complicating things?
I love Hobi and Mc but my patience is so thin w him rn. “I should hate u” no u shouldnt and if u do, go to hell. Love him tho ❤️
(Besides I’d be spilling dirt on all of them like did u know Jimin kills people for a living. Jin is an FBI agent. Y’all were complicated and murky long before I even met yoongi u emotional asshole).
I do enjoy Hobi and Mc getting closer tho. I hope they can talk fr. I’m glad Jin was able to sort out whatever he was feeling. And Jimin and Tae took the damn cake w how sweet they were my goodness. All I can think of is Jimin anxiously smoking a cigarette while shopping for makeup for his gf while other customers and workers are looking at him like 👀
okay BUT- i was super intentional about the language i used in this chapter, i really thought that people wouldn't like...still be upset with jin?
i'm not saying you're wrong for it- and this is on par with bily because we've seen everyone in the pack make questionable calls thusfar- thats part of the fun in the story, but if i may, i'm gonna bring up a few spesific lines of the last chapter in rebuttal to this ask, just because it left me with a weird taste in my mouth.
i really hoped that people wouldn't still be angry at jin and hobi...but i guess it's out of my hands right now unless i want to edit.
but remember, we see these charecters conflicted about the very things that youre unsure about, we see hobi's internal narration go. "You claimed Yoongi’s soul and future for yourself before you even met them, even if you had too- Hoseok has a right to be angry). But he’s not. He lies his cheek next to yours on the folded blankets, close enough that he can feel the warmth of your skin, and thinks- are you the only one who I can’t offer comfort to? Isn’t that a wretched thing, that we’re in the same pack but we can’t be so close?
we see hobi here being extremely conflicted, he's not exactly musing on his issues but he's letting them go! i get that the m/c still had to like- deal with them. But i think its very clear how tired she is of it. hobi gets and and he's tired too. it's more then dealing with the bullshit of that together as a pair- the first time they've really done something together for the benefit of their relationship thus far. and we see him immediatly offer her comfort right after- trying to limit the damage of his emotions and actions on her.
and then jin! jin's is also more easy to point out we see the m/c ask "Are you still upset at me and Yoongi for the mark thing?” i was very intentional to use the word upset not angry. jin confirms that he's still upset eventually- but he's mostly upset that they had to make those choices, that the situation forced them to do something that could have easily killed them both, because he wants them both alive not because he doesn't care that the m/c almost died.
but they'res also jealousy and insecurity there- because yoongi would have rather them both almost die then reach out for jin's help. both of those feelings are dealt with through sex in part because they need to reaffirm their desire for intimacy with each other and the trust. jin knows he could push the m/c too far, and she trust him not too in the mini scene (thats not really a scene)
i think people in general with bily forget the trauma that the m/c and yoongi put the pack through. remember- yoongi left without telling them one word, came back with another person and then she proceeded to not speak to them for about a month. i don't think any party is wrong in their feelings, and i do think that the mc is frustrated with them too. she just handles her emotions diffrently, she's more prone to self doubt then anger in part because of her abuse.
when others are angry or unrightfully emotional about others- tae for instance- she has no problem speaking up. but it's different when it comes to her because shes still handling the after effects of the abuse she went through. i'd even gander that the pack is well aware of this and is taking steps to make sure she does speak up for herself, remember hobi says "would you stop with the whole 'i hate you thing'"
and emotions don't just go away once you feel them, sometimes they linger, but both jin and hobi try to make sure that the m/c doesn't feel quite so bad about it, they at least try to make sure the emotions don't hurt her.
hobi offers her comfort before anyone else will- "You’re doing a good job, with Tae. In case no one’s told you yet.”“Oh,” you say, words muffled by the blanket, burying your face in it. “Thanks.” He can feel the warmth of your cheek, and after a second you move just a little closer, just enough for your skin to brush a little, atoms to atoms and more a feeling of warmth than skin. 
jin's is here- oh so he doesn’t hate you, you didn’t realize how worried you were of that, that Jin had someone decide he didn’t want you anymore. The hardness poking at your stomach dictates the opposite of that too. Jin’s hand cups the back of your neck possessively, tilting your mouth so that he can kiss you the way that he likes. He gets you gasping when his teeth dig in a little, just a little harder. But Jin knows you like a bit of force behind it, just to make your mind quiet. (jin knows he's stressed the fuck out of the m/c, and now he's gonna make her better!
Tldr: hobi and jin are trying their hardest!
also please definitely picture minnie smoking and anxiously shopping, a cigarette between one finger and another, or one hanging from his lips while he runs his hands through his hair and looks over high heals trying to figure out the guy to girl size conversion chart and being so so so confused why skirts don't always have pockets or what the fuck a beauty blenders used for.
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munsonology · 3 months
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Not to be a hater but quite literally if given the chance I would absolutely lay into my ex friend. Like he called me a slew of names spaced out over time each one worse then the previous, shared my trauma with people and tried to use it against me, and even told the kids I babysat for years MY FUCKING KIDS (not mine but basically they were) (and their parents) that I was a bad influence and a bad person. Like I took the name calling, but then I distanced because of the wife situation, but then I find out the rest of this shit????
Like ONE CHANCE I'd take it. Let me fucking at him. ESPECIALLY if I was in a group! Like you trying to come for me???
You??? No degree barely graduated high school can't swing a hammer or change your own oil man??? Coming for a smart strong bachelor degree woman???
You lived with your parents for years, not because of a cultural thing, but because you were "scared" to live alone! Bending to your mother's every beck and call. I should call you Norman Bates with how far up your mother's ass you are.
I could get a man or woman or ANYBODY if I wanted. I have options. remember when you had a crush on me dumbass and asked me out remember when you simped for me and took me to the movies for free what about that concert that was over 300 dollars FOR FREE cause you wanted me so bad? I could have had you and DIDNT and no one wants your 30 year old ass thats why you chose an 18 year old you fucking creep THAT is why we aren't friends and then all your dirty little secrets and skeletons about what you told others about me came out. You think your shit don't smell because you are full of it
You think you are so good and kind and everything you do is golden well its fool's gold you clown. Karma gonna get you just you wait (and thats the only reason I haven't fought u yet like...im trying to be the better person but they say one more thing in my presence...)
(And yes it is fucked they went for the 18 year old and it is even more fucked that they are now married like it was so quick like who thought that was okay not me that poor girl I hope she gets out cause he is not good he is not the love of her life hes just a man!!! Let me run him over cause YOU ARE A CHILD AND) (no I was gonna be petty af and post a throwback photo and tag everyone cause I have a picture of me, him, and his wife when she was 4 and he was 16 like 💀💀)(also again no shame to her if she needs help i am getting her out but she is devoted to him and disillusioned rn he got her brainwashed and yes we all grew up together and yes its a fucked situation and I want to go all Carrie Underwood on his ass and dig a key into the side of his car and knock out his headlights but karma is coming for him and karma could do better then me) (sorry for spilling in your inbox I am a ball of hate found out today and I mean AN HOUR AGO he actually was the one to spread a rumor about me that haunts me to this day as well as telling people about secrets I had told him that were not ok to tell and he has the fucking nerve to have come into MY HOUSE under false pretenses just to record me out of context and share it as proof im terrible oh fuck him)(please note as soon as I found out he was with the 18 year old I cut him out of my life but we work together just in different departments so I see him pretty regularly still sadly and I cant quit because I signed a contract but thankfully I dont have to see his crusty ass every day cause if I did....call me Elsa with the stone cold attitude he is receiving)
oh my god bestie 😭😭 first thank you for sharing 💖 he’s a weirdo for real. the fact he married an 18 year old is just sick, and what’s worse is you know he didn’t just meet her at 18 because they never do 😒
and that’s commendable of you to wanna look after her. it might take a while for her to see who he truly is. i think it’s important to remember she might not accept help :/ it might be healthier for you to take a step back. sometimes we need to put ourselves first for our own wellbeing. hopefully her family is aware.
it always hurts when people you think are your friend are the ones who purposely and carelessly hurt you the most. and i know you wanna fuck him up and key his car but he’s not worth going to jail over. the universe has a way of always working out, what we put out into the world we receive and trust he’ll get his for all the clownery he’s doing. it might take a while but it will. and when it does you can sip your tea with a big slurp 💀
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ranilla-bean · 5 months
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1), 12), 17), 18) and because i'm greedy 29) for the AO3 wrapped meme please!
WHEHEYYYYY ty reikah 🫡 here we go
1. How many words have you written this year.
have to pull out the calculator for this 🤬 but 119,603! and thats not including the wips!!!
12. How many wips do you have in your docs for next year?
zukki is a dec to jan project so i’ll count that… but currently about 5? zukki, nipfic 2, spymaster… i’ve got that azuki in a very rudimentary stage. but i really do want to write the lion dance one in time for lunar new year 🥺🧧
17. Your favourite character to write this year?
so i alr said nipfic sokka but a close fave (and non-pov character) would be ursa in iff. i really sat with her character and tried to make her whole and human with all the relevant flaws and i think she comes out as someone you can criticise but u get where she’s coming from too…. 🥺 idk i just love and treasure all my female characters!
18. The character that gave you the most trouble this year.
iff azula was hard, and i was almost not gonna put her in. it was difficult deciding what a redeemed azula should look like; it didn’t feel realistic to me to have a still fairly snarky and slick azula who’s “good now” because i think the process of deprogramming her brainwashing etc is going to be a traumatic one that fundamentally alters who she is. and what does that look like in the end? that’s the hard part and i definitely didn’t write The End Product, but i hope at least what she conveys in that particular stage of her recovery makes sense. she’s trying!
and then there’s zukki dp zuko who didn’t get lines until about 2 months ago 🤡
29. Favourite line/passage you wrote this year?
ohohohoho this is hard!! but the one i keep thinking back on is the weather in chapter 9 iff (esp since it’s summer now and we get these awful stuffy days that then break with the cool change)
It was hot, the air thick with moisture; a thunderstorm had been brewing all day. He bit the tangyuan open. The black sesame filling spilled into the curve of his spoon. He could see the fullness of the moon, her raiment of colour where the light scattered through the cloud cover. Down in the South Pole, was Sokka watching the same moon? He had said it was summer down there, the season of neverending days: could they even see her?
Then the cool change was gusting in like a benediction. The rain sluiced down, the sky lanterns winked out, the children ran indoors, the lanterns left outside melted into sodden ribbons on the pavement. Zuko watched the bolts of lightning fork down, stark against the night sky. If they hit this pavilion, he thought, he could redirect them.
ao3 wrapped asks!
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iloveyouw · 1 year
Text
12 Nov 2022
I understand ur dilemma. and where all of this conflicted thoughts are coming from. i 100% do. i always think in ur position and otw home i rmb thinking how i would feel unfair and fucking hurt if the roles were swapped. and i cant robbed that off of u. ur bright future with someone else that deserves u. i cant be selfish i dont have the right to. and i hate that my brain run on emotions not logic. i take a step back and think but when it comes down to it the cogs churn on its own based on how i feel. i hate it. i wish i werent so emotional. but emotions were why i put on a fight. they were also the reason why i did all of those unspeakable things. emotions are what im afraid of. im scared to feel. im scared to face it. it has been a running theme since i started taking meth. like i already was an emotional one but the meth just made it more, prominent? i get affected by everything. dont even know if its good or bad. the scales so tipped that i think its bad. 
to be logical is to let u go, remove me from the equation thats causing u all this hurt. to be logical is to be happy for u now that i fucked it all up. to be logical is to move on, find someone that treats me right although they will never be u. to be logical is to stop taking meth and theres not even a because to this sentence its just rhetorical. to be logical is to stop and think.
but im not. im rash. i run on my emotions. its like clockwork. its a cycle. its good and its bad. i am selfish but i can be selfless. i hurt because i love alot. i cant stop loving u. and forcing u out of my life was not how i should run things. that was logical, at that time where a speck of hope was so hard to find. but thats not how i live. i live dangerously. i risked many things. and all the little decision i made, are seeds planted in my life for me to bloom today. they may be great decisions, but there are a fuck ton of horrible ones that i dont even dare face it like the people who used me, and people i reluctantly say yes to, even the opportunities, even the "what could have beens" i feel horrible about myself, so ashamed, not because these men were gross, these are obvious, but the amount of times i let myself down just because of meth. thinking it was my protector, my only god. it was my shield for the longest time. im feel free now that i let go. 
these things are clear now what i should let go and what i should not. everything except meth i should let go for the past few years. everything. i always said, yknow when my parents die i dont think i can handle it i will definitely go back to meth. i must go back. i want to treat them right, spend time with them. but the only thing i let go was my parents. i said, if i dont take meth now then when im 50 then take meh? i really can stop taking meth? im gna regret not doing this now when i can. just 1 more month wont hurt. until i get back up on my feet next year, next year, next year, next year. and 4 years past just like that. i lost everything when i didnt let go. 
i did not expect to see the day i stop meth this soon ah honestly. back when i stopped for 400+ days, it felt like i just "chanced upon", "accidentally", "it just happened". 
but im not letting u go like that. ironically, if theres 1 thing i learn is to hold on to things. just the right one this time. see all these men that i thought gave me what i wanted, and thought i was the one gaining. i was losing. i was always losing. weight, losing, dignity, losing, self worth, losing, health, losing, hair, losing, self love, losing. there wasnt a day that i was high that i was fucking actually like high and winning. for so long i thought i was and its so embarrassing that i once thought like that. and i think with jacob, it was the feelings that got spilled over, the "chanced upon", "accidentally", and the "it just happened"s that spilled over. yknow what i mean? it was the "losing" that i thought was "winning" that got spilled over. it was alot of how my messed up mind thinks. 
i think i live dangerously but with caution now. and im sorry i still get emotional when u talk to monica or mabel now. it still fucking sting. that was all i ever wanted. i wanted u to chase me. maybe it seemed like u did. but when u tell my stories about how u chase ur exes and the things u tell these girls now. i so fucking wish it were me or i get to experience that. it feels like ive nv had a shot. we just "chanced upon", "accidentally", and "it just happened". i just again couldnt fucking see it. just because it was organic and not forced, i became complacent and greedy. and i feel that spilling over again, why am i being greedy now. and how could i? i really wish i am not powered by my emotions. its so logical and obvious that i should not go near u in public or touch u like that or act like i do. if u were the one that did it i really dont know how i will handle this. and i thank u everyday for giving me the chance to express my love for u and letting me help u mend, even though its clearly very confusing for u. i say i dont want anything from u, want to fix u before u go onto ur next love. its true. i fully mean it. 100%, actually. but i cant help to feel absolutely shit and fucking jealous over the man i love, the only one i want. the only one i really truly want. none of these 20 over something men has ever given me, or made me feel, or treated me, the way u do. its magic. (not energy) because that was probably how u felt when i broke the news to u and lied and hide to u. i am sorry. id do everything differently, and itd be close to 500+ days now. but this reset feels right. this reset on the number feels more genuine. i hope i can reset it for u too. and i understand if u cant see me the same way. im sorry i thought our love was unrequited. and im sorry for always wanting more. im sorry for fucking things up. but i mean it when i say asking u to come back is just not it. not my goal. but i will always be jealous of that girl. the same way i do before i fuck it all up, and the way i do now. except now i face it lor... i fucked it up until like that. (hehe until)
And I don't mind waiting every day
When it's the right time
We'll come around again
pt2
i.fucking.hate.that.u.like.mabel.i.hate.it.i.hate.myself.i.hate.that.u.think.shes.an.out.i.hate.that.its.not.me.i.fucking.hate.myself.for.doing.those.things.i.cant.stop.u.i.fucking.hate.that.i.cant.stop.u.must.be.tough.for.u.but.i.hate.living.in.fear.thinking.when.u.gna.do.it
and it feels like ure all in ready to do it. u havent really deny that u dont want to do it havent u. u seem motivated. and i have to face this punishment i deserve. but fuck its fucking hateful and its directed all at myself. u wont love me anymore and i am 100% sure. and i really fucking hate myself for this. goodnight. 
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ganyuslily · 3 years
Text
as your high school sweetheart — genshin headcanons
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characters: albedo, childe, diluc, kazuha, xiao
category/extra notes: modern!au, high school!au, fluff, at some parts its very cliche im sorry KDJDJS
a little summary: how would they be like in a modern relationship?
a/n: IM ACTUALLY VERY PROUD OF THIS,, i dont think it had been done before but :00 this was fun o make i have more modern!aus in my drafts ( @xiaophobic psst here are one of the modern!au hcs i have, and kazuhas kinda based off of what u sent in today )
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albedo
it starts out as a lab project that you two were supposed to work on together, and even though you werent too keen on working with a guy that always seemed a little pretentious when he spoke, you decided to suck it up for the sake of a good grade. but as you work along side him, it turns out hes not so full of himself as you thought at first. you can see hes awkward and he doesnt know what to do and how to act, but under this seemingly emotionless persona, he cares. you can see it in the way he takes care of his younger sister klee, in the way he helps sucrose organize her notes, in the way he starts to check up on you even after the project is done. you notice the subtle stares and small details. the way he stays up to help you finish that late assignment, or how he helps you catch up in classes. hes always around when you need him and you dont even notice youre falling in love until uve already fallen deep. the confession is messy and clumsy, “i love u” spilled under the moonlight and gentle smiles passed in the corridors between classes. its so natural, loving him.
childe
hes that one guy everyone tells u to keep a distance from; but how can you, when his smiles are so bright and warm, when he loops his hand around your arm and intertwines your fingers when hes around you. how can you do that when hes the one that finds you crying after an exam goes wrong and tries his best to cheer you up or when the guy that made you uncomfortable yesterday now seems to be scared to even come near you. you dont know how or when you got close to him, when everything about him screamed “trouble” but to you he only meant love and adoration. he holds your hand and kisses you on the cheek before every lesson and sneaks cheesy letters into your locker. he treats you as if you were made out of glass, always gentle and patient. you dont know what you did to deserve him, but you stay with him, even when he comes to you with cuts and bruises and a black eye every other day. you only sigh and whisper “oh, ajax” and he kisses you, telling you that hes sorry.
diluc
its so gentle; no one really knows the two of you are dating. hell, even the both of you arent sure of that. but the way he treats you, walking you to your class and taking you home everyday, buying you food when you forget to take it from home in stress or buying you coffee or tea based on your mood, you think youre dating. but none of you ever made the final move to ask the other one out, so you hold yourself. you hold yourself from the urge to kiss him goodbye or hold his hands while walking around. you hold yourself from saying “i love you”, even though its at the end of your tongue. you dont have the courage to risk ruining what you already have. when he takes you stargazing, you know you should be looking at the night sky, at the twnikling lights, but how can you when the brightest one is right next to you. so when you accidentally say that hes so pretty, he looks at you with surprise and warm cheeks, as if he didnt believe what he heard. he looks at you with oh so much fondness and when you kiss you feel more happy than you ever were before.
kazuha
when you see him for the first time, you think your eyes are deceiving you; he looks like an angel with his white hair and the sunlight dancing on his skin. hes holding a brush in his hand, paint smeared on his face and hair slipping out of his ponytail. he doesnt even notice you at first, too immersed in his own work. he only looks at you when you stumble over your own feet, almost falling into him. when you catch your balance, he only smiles at you and you think your heart stops. he quietly asks if you need anything, and you say you have an art project to do. he offers to help and you shyly nod. you dont really talk a lot, especially in the beginning, but you slowly open up to each other. he speaks in short sentences, getting right to the point, but its not aggressive or rough, his voice sounding like a gentle melody. you usually sit in silence and work together in the art room after classes and thats how your relationship blooms. slipping into a relationship comes easily, it comes naturally, no one feels the need to even ask. its obvious, especially in the way you look at each other and how everyone else can always see you together. its easy. being with him is easy.
xiao
you bump into him by accident in the corridor and muster a quick “sorry”, before running to your next class. you dont even notice who he is, not realizing its the guy that attends the classes u do too. but for some reason you keep bumping into him, your books and papers flying everywhere and your face red from embarrassment. he doesnt seem to mind; he always helps you out without a word and then you part your ways. you dont talk until the moment when you meet again, and surprisingly this time hes the one bumping into you. before he manages to slip away, you quickly ask if he wants to go to the coffee shop later, my treat for you helping me out all this time, you add. and how can he say no when hes been looking for the opportunity to do the same, but he always backed out in fear of rejection. your relationship smells of coffee, his black and yours with way too much sugar and milk in, of qingqins and books from your study dates. he cares for you and you care for him. your first kiss happens also accidentally, neither of you getting rid of the habit of stil bumping into each other in the hallways. so when your lips crash and you back out, whispering a string of sorries in panic, he only cups your face and shyly asks if he can kiss you again.
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i-cant-sing · 3 years
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I wonder what would happen if Y/N had a really bad day and just decided to pick a sibling from the Yan!Todoroki clan like a cat would pick its person and just?? Sit in their lap?? They'd say 'I had a terrible day, no torture today please' before taking their well-deserved nap lookin' all cute and peaceful. Then the sibling would be so proud and confused at the same time but really really happy like 'omg for real? Me? What's happening?? 🥺'. Bonus points if it's Dabi just having the widest grin on his face while staring straight at the rest of the fam seething with jealousy.
I saw your works btw and been inhalin em all cause they're all so good *chef's kiss*
-Vibin' anon
Yandere Dabi comforting sister reader
This is so cute omg. Thank u Vibin anon!
Check out my MASTERLIST for more!
Yandere Dabi:
Shotou had come to pick you up from school today. Even though he had a busy schedule himself, he still made time for you, just like the rest if your family.
"How was school?" He asked.
"Fine."
"Just fine? Wasn't your result supposed to come today?"
You nodded. "It did. I passed."
Shotoy smiled. "Thats great. Did you get your report card?"
You knew he was going to ask for it. You also knew that he already knew what grades you got.
You nodded and handed him the report card from your bag.
Shotou's face lit up when he saw your grades.
"You're first again. I'm so proud of you." He patted your head.
You smiled. "Thanks."
By the time you guys reached home, you already knew that your entire family was home. They always were when your result came. You knew the principal had already informed Enji of your grades, she always does.
When you entered the house, your family yelled "surprise!" You feigned shock as they hugged you and congratulated you on your achievement.
Rei had prepared a little feast for you, everything was made from scratch. Enji was beaming with joy, he was so proud of his little girl. Rei had made your favourite cake, kissing your cheek as you cut it. Enji had gotten you beautiful diamond necklace. Natsuo, Shotou and Fuyumi had gotten you some gifts as well, stuff you had vaguely mentioned about. Dabi wasn't home, but you didn't mind his absence.
Your family had planned to spend the night on the couch cuddling and doing a movie marathon, but when you asked them to excuse you for the night because you were feeling tired, they became a but worried. You reassured them that you just had a long day at school as well, and now that you were stuffed with Rei's delicious food, sleep was inevitable. They nodded, a bit sad that you wouldn't be joining, but understanding nonetheless.
You went up the stairs to your room, and as soon as you closed the door, the smile you had been displaying all night was wiped off.
You sat on your bed and recalled the events of the day. Tears pricked your eyes, but you kept yourself quiet. They're not worthy crying over, you reminded yourself. Still, you couldn't help but crumple up your report card and throw it in the dustbin.
Silent tears fell from your eyes, no longer being able to hold them in. God, its infuriating.
Suddenly, you heard someone knock on your bedroom door. You looked at the clock. 12 am.
Its Dabi.
You couldn't deal with him tonight. You remained silent, hoping he'd leave you alone.
But of course not.
You quickly turned away from the door as soon as you heard it open. Wiping your tears quickly, you heard Dabi come in.
"You brat. Why didn't you answer when I knocked?" He asked, pushing the door close with his foot.
"Leave me alone, Dabi." You were trying hard to stabilise your voice.
"Huh?! Is that anyway to talk to your favourite brother?" Dabi mocked as he pulled at your ponytail. You yelped before turning around to push him away.
Dabi was about to laugh at you when he suddenly noticed the your face. Your eyes were full of tears, lashes heavy with them. Your face was flush, your nostrils flared, your lips in a pulled in a tight scowl. Had you been crying? Or did he make you cry?
"Hey, I'm sorry-"
"Just leave me alone." You said as you angrily wiped the tears from your face.
Dabi was shocked to see you like this. He had never seen you cry, not even when he took his teasing a little too far. So, to see you react like this, it worried him a bit.
"Have you been crying? What's the matter? Did you fail or something?" His voice actually held some concern.
You shook your head, pulling your ponytail loose. "Its nothing. Just leave."
Dabi could see the pain in your eyes. What happened? He plopped down on your bed next to you. "Come on. Tell me." He poked your shoulder. "You know I won't leave until you tell me."
"Its nothing, really." You sniffled, avoiding his gaze.
"Did Enji say something?" Dabi asked, his voice taking a dangerous tone. "Look at me. Did he do something?" He's going to kill that bastard if he-
"What? No. God, just go."
Dabi let out a huff. He'll have to use another strategy. "Fine. Don't tell me. I'll just tell Shotou you have been crying, and then you can answer to him."
Shotou? God, he would just overthink everything and do something stupid.
You caught his wrist just as he was about to leave. "Do you have to be such a jerk every single day?" You glared daggers at him.
Dabi smirked before pulling his wrist away and plopping on the bed next to you. "Yes. Big brother privileges." He poked your cheek. "Now spill."
You looked at him, hoping he'd just get blasted magically. Idiot.
You inhaled deeply before closing your eyes. "Its stupid, really." Dabi stared at you, signalling for you to continue. "Something... happened at school." You paused. "Just a couple of assholes."
Dabi was attentive now. "Go on."
You looked down at your lap, playing with your fingers. "Some kids in my class... they said mean things about me."
"Bullying?" Dabi quirked an eyebrow.
You shook your head. "I- I don't think so. They just said that I only get the highest grade in class because of my dad. Like Enji bribes the school into giving me good marks." You sniffled. "They undermine me. They say I'm not good enough to be in their school, and that the only reason I got in was because of my surname."
Tears dripped down your face slowly, almost as if they were ashamed to fall.
You wiped them away harshly. "And it doesn't matter what I say. I've tried to befriend them, I've tried to get along with them, but they still ridicule me. Its frustrating. They... they don't understand that my only option is to be the best." You whispered the last part, but Dabi heard you loud and clear.
He sat up and gently gripped your chin, turning your face towards him as he narrowed his eyes. "What do you mean 'its your only option'?"
You rolled your eyes. "You know what I mean. I know that no one in the family cares if I get the highest marks or not but...I still have to live up to the family name. What will people say if the number 1 hero's kid is both quirkless and dumb?" Your lips wobbled.
Oh. Ohhhh.
You don't want to let down the Todoroki name; you don't want to let down Enji.
He already knew it was that shithead's fault.
Dabi sighed before pulling you close to him. Placing an arm around your shoulders while his other hand wiped your tears away.
Wanting to prove your worth, that you're a valuable asset to the family. Dabi never thought he'd see himself in you, or his younger self really.
"You're an idiot." Dabi began, carding his fingers through your hair. "You don't have to be the best. You're not expected to. You know, the family knows, hell even I know how hard you worked to get in that school. I've seen how you'd do all nighters, how many times you've turned down going out so that you could do well in your exams. But you don't have to do that." He tilted your chin up, staring into your glossy eyes. "We don't care what the public thinks of us. We won't care if you fail. We don't care you're quirkless. You're not expected to be anything but a good girl." He squished your cheeks together, making you look like a fish. "You just need to be safe. Do you understand?"
You sniffled as you nodded. "Yes. Thank you."
Dabi smiled. "Why didn't you tell anyone before?" You shrugged in response. "You know what would've happened if I said anything. They're already hesitant to let me go to school, this would just give them another reason to homeschool me. Besides, I didn't let their words get to me before, so it really wasn't a big deal." Before? You were about to continue but then kept your mouth shut. But Dabi saw that. He pulled you away from him, his eyes turning sharp as he raised his eyebrows. "But something else happened today as well?"
You averted his scrutinising gaze, keeping your lips sealed as you shook your head no. "Do not lie to me. Or I'll tell Shotou and Enji and then they can handle-"
Your eyes widened. "Do you ever stop making threats?" Rolling your eyes, you told him what happened. "It wasn't anything serious. One of those jerks... thought it'd be funny to try and kiss me. When he tried to force me, I slapped him. Really hard. My handprint still on his face." You smiled at that. "He said the only reason he wasn't using his quirk on me was because I was Todorokis charity case. Then he said that I should be grateful that he was going to kiss me, especially since no one cares about a quirkless, frigid bitch like me." You let out a humourless laugh, but Dabi could see the pain in your eyes. You gave a small smile. "Dont worry. I already know what they said isn't true."
Thats it.
Dabi was already planning murder. He's going to make those little shits pay for what they did to you. The nerve to not only bully you, but make you cry, and then touch you? Dabi is gonna make sure they get tortured in every way possible before he incinerates them-
"Dabi?"
Your soft voice pulled him out of his violent thoughts.
"Hmm?"
"Can you... stay the night?"
He looked at your tear stricken face, your eyes were still laden with tear drops, your nose red from all the sniffling.
How could he say no to you? You looked ugly.
"Its okay. You don't have to-" you were cut off by a pillow hitting your face.
"Move over, brat." He climbed in the bed with you, covering you both with the blanket. "And don't put your cold feet on mine." You smiled cheekily at that.
"Don't hog the blanket- why do you need it anyway?"you yanked the blanket.
Dabi pushed another pillow on your face, laughing as you punched his shoulder. "You're insufferable."you mumbled.
It took a while to get comfortable on your single bed, but it ended up with your head on his chest, while Dabi propped himself against the headboard.
"Thank you." You whispered.
Dabi hummed. "Dont think I don't know why you're doing this."
You smiled softly. He caught on to why you were keeping him home that night; you knew he would do something terrible to those guys. "Promise me you won't hurt them?"
Dabi remained silent. You pulled your head away to look up at him. "Dabi. Promise."
When he didn't reply, tears started forming your eyes. He sighed, before shoving your face back into his chest. "Fine, crybaby. I won't hurt them. Promise." You're such a brat, stopping him from doing his big brother duties.
You went back to snuggling him, not taking long for you to finally go to sleep. Once Dabi made sure you were asleep, he pulled out his phone and texted Toga.
"Need a favour. Up 4 stabbing?"
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kiribaku-queen · 3 years
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Hiii congratulation for 1000 followers! U deserve it! So i was thinking of bakugou!prohero a reader where he's always busy and always hv this photoshoot with these hot models or hot pro hero that made reader feel left out. And the last straw was when a newly magazine publish of him kissing other girls cheek (or mouth) (u do u;)) and thats when they had a bad fight that caused reader to run away. I would like it to be heavy angst with a happy ending. I love angst but after a heavy angst i like a happy ending to soothe my heart 😂 if u do choose this, gudluck!
Blinded by the Fame
Angst
Pairing: Bakugou x reader
Word Count: 3.5K
A/N: Thank you so so much for this request! I was actually so excited to do this piece because I already had an idea I wanted to use and this scenario was PERFECTO~! So painful yet so good!
Thank you for the congratulations and I hope this request met your needs! Please let me know your thoughts!
Who said dating an upcoming hero was going to be easy? It certainly wasn’t easy, not in the slightest. You definitely had hard days. There were times when it got so difficult that you wanted to quit. But was loving the hero worth it and fulfilling? Absolutely.
Bakugou Katsuki was the love of your life. Relationships were never easy. Couples always have obstacles and challenges they have to overcome. Even when you were in tears, screaming at each other at the top of your lungs, even if you gave each other the cold shoulder the entire week, nothing could replace the warmth that was Bakugou’s arms. You would never much refuse his touch every tine, but that wouldn’t stop Bakugou from having you in his arms every night, whispering sweet nothings in your ears despite all the things he said prior. And you would forgive him. Of course you would. How could you not?
But being with a rising hero came with bearing a lot of burden that you had to keep to yourself. You didn’t like how he was working all the time. You didn’t like how he came home bruised up, sometimes not even going to the hospital if it means not being able to see you for the night. You couldn’t bare seeing him like that. But that was part of his job and that was never going to change. So no matter how much you absolutely hated the sight, you let him do his hero work because that was what he loved to do. You couldn’t interfere with his dreams of becoming the number one hero.
But the thing that itched you the most was when Bakugou was forced to promotional shoots to get his name out there. The memory of when he first started made you laugh. Being the Bakugou that he was, he flat-out refused to do it. He didn’t like getting his picture taken. He’ll dress up once in a while, and when he does it’s real clean, but he wasn’t a fan of constantly dressing up. But when he finally let go and tried it once, he saw how much fan votes and popularity he was getting and eventually, would do more here and there.
And you didn’t mind if the shoots were by himself, but most of the time, they were with other pro-heroes or very attractive models. And that you feel insecure. How could it not? Your boyfriend getting close to other women while you looked nothing like these women? You didn’t have the body, the face, the money, or the fame these women brought to the table. You would never admit it, but you hated when other women were in the picture. And you hated when one of the women would be touching him. It left a sickening feeling in the pit of your stomach. You were so sure that he was going to leave you for one of them. But he proved his love by dropping down on one knee with the most gorgeous ring.
“Come with me to the shoot,” Bakugou proposed but you hesitated.
“I can just meet you at the restaurant,” you decided. The mention of being on set for one of his photoshoots seemed like a bad idea.
“I want to go together. It won’t even take long. One hour tops,” he swore and brought you by the waist, your body flushed against him. He takes your face in his hands and gently puts your foreheads together.
“I know you’ve been wanting to go to this restaurant forever. Let’s go together,” he whispers and you couldn’t help but fall for that voice over and over again.
“Okay,” you whispered back. He smiles at you, places a small kiss to your forehead, then your lips, before taking your hand to lead you to the car.
The set of the shoot was intimidating. People were running around everywhere, cameras were set in all positions, lights were blinding and hot, the space just looked so busy. And you felt like you didn’t belong. But Bakugou was so used to this kind of scene. He leads you to where the photographer and the director were talking.
“Ah, Pro-Hero Dynamite, you made it!” the director greeted your boyfriend. “Your stylist is in the next room. Go ahead and get changed and we’ll get started.” Bakugou nodded and turned to you.
“I’ll be right back,” Bakugou said and kissed you on the forehead. You watched as your boyfriend disappeared in the sea of people and then you were left all alone.
This was fine. You would just wait in the back patiently for him to be done. And then you two could enjoy a nice evening out at that fancy restaurant you’ve always been wanting to try. Just relax. You closed your eyes and took deep, but slow breaths. There was nothing to get worked up over. Afterall, it looked like Bakugou was doing this shoot by himself.
But you spoke too soon. Bakugou had appeared from the dressing room, looking all dashing and handsome. You felt your heart skip again. He was wearing a red shirt that was unbuttoned to the third button, exposing his broad and muscular chest. Over, he wore a black jacket with leather gloves and pants. His hair was styled slightly back, forehead showing. He was mesmerizing to look at. But shortly after his appearance, two women walked out behind him. Two gorgeous, fit, and slim women who wore skin tight, elegant dresses were doing the shoot with him. And for some reason, your heart began to hurt. The pang in your heart was constant that you had to beat at your chest to calm yourself down.
They were beautiful. And you had recognized one of the women: Pro-hero Miruko. You knew their history together. Bakugou had worked under Miruko during his school days and eventually worked along side with her after he graduated. You knew she was a flirt. She flirted with everybody. And that was fine, until she got alittle too touchy with your boyfriend. And that bothered you. But Bakugou was so used to her behavior that he didn’t even notice.
You couldn’t say anything. They are old time friends and co-workers. What? Are you supposed to say that he can’t be friends with her anymore just because you didn’t like it? And then you would look like the possessive girlfriend? You were fine with him being friends with other women, but they did make you nervous. Nervous because all the women he’s surrounded by are so unbelievably good looking, it put you to shame. Why would he want to be with you when he could have all these women to choose from?
But you tried to shake these negative thoughts away and playfully tugged at the ring on your ringer. There was a reason why he chose you. There was a reason why he gave you this ring. You shouldn’t think this way. But you couldn’t help it. You tried not to let it bother you, but in the end, it did. It really did. It bothered you so much that you couldn’t stop fidgeting.
You watched at Bakugou sat on the couch with both women on each side of him. His arms were lounging on the back of the couch while one girl sat next to him and Miruko stood behind him. Looking at his facial expressions, he didn’t seem interested in any of the girls. Which is a good sign?
And so the shoot started. Nothing else could be heard besides music playing in the background and the loud click of the camera. Everyone else was watching the shoot take place. Everything looked okay so far. Their outfits were scandalous but nothing scandalous was happening. The only directions the models were given was to look sexily at the camera. Bakugou delivered that perfectly with his go-to signature look. But now the photographer wanted more.
“Can the two women get a little closer, please?” the photographer asked and put his camera up to his face once more. The girls did what they were told and Bakugou didn’t even flinch. But you were growing nervous. There was more skin happening, more touching and it was making you uncomfortable. You gasped when you saw Miruko grab Bakugou by his chin to lift to towards her direction. Then she leans in, her lips ghosting over his ever so slightly, like they were about to kiss. Tears were spilling out and your cheeks heated up in anger until you finally exploded.
“Stop!” you yelled, stopping all production. Heads from all around turned to you. Mirko looked at you shocked and Bakugou was wide eyed with curiosity and concern. You gripped the handle of the purse that was slung around your shoulder, feeling anxious now that everyone was looking at you.
“Sorry, give me one moment,” Bakugou apologized to the staff. He got up, rushing towards you. He takes your hand and brings you in the dressing room. The door slammed shut and Bakugou turns to you in a huff.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” he hissed. With tears streaming down your face, you were shocked by his reaction. But you were going to stand your ground.
“I don’t like how she was touching you,” you say.
“It’s my job,” he sighs in exasperation.
“Well she should learn her boundaries, whether it’s a job or not. And if you respected me at all, you would tell her no,” you stated firmly. But all Bakugou did was roll his eyes.
“You’re overreacting.” You scoff and it was your turn to roll your eyes.
“Oh, I’m overreacting? Is it wrong that I don’t like when other women are touching you?” you started to raise your voice and talk back.
“Do I have to say it again? It’s my job. If I’m going to make it big, I have to do it. What? You think I like her? You think I was going to let her kiss me? It’s just for the pictures. Geez, how sensitive can you get?” he stabbed you right in a sensitive topic. You stayed silent because you weren’t expecting him to say that. The moment you think he’s going to stop there, he keeps going.
“I might need to save lots of women who are in danger. What? You don’t want me touching them? You’re going to get jealous because I’ll have some stranger in my arms? You’re afraid that she’s going to cling to me for dear life because I’m saving her? You don’t like that?!” he was practically screaming now.
“No! I don’t like that!” you screamed right back, giving back the same amount of energy. The tension in the air was so thick, anyone could feel it. Hell, they were all listening from outside and they felt uncomfortable with the ambiance of the situation. Both parties’ chests were heaving up and down from the labored breathing. And you just glared at each other. Bakugou turns away from you, breaking the ice.
“Fine. If you’re going to be this jealous, then maybe… maybe we shouldn’t be together,” he said. That was it. That was when your heart broke into a million pieces. You felt like if you stood there any longer, you would have suffocated.
“Fine,” you whisper. He doesn’t even spare you a glance. With teary eyes and a heavy heart, you tighten your jaw as you take off your engagement ring, wiggling it off your finger and then setting it down on the counter beside you. The sound of the metal hitting the hard desk was loud enough for Bakugou to hear, but he still chose not to turn to you. You thought that maybe, just maybe, if he turned around and said he didn’t mean it, then you would have been okay. You would have forgave him for those mean things he said. And then you would have apologized to him. But he looked set on his decision.
Without another word, you turned around and sped out of that building, tears never stopping. Everyone saw you go. Miruko laid her sad eyes on you and her broke for you. Shortly after, Bakugou walks back to the couch, plopping down with a huff.
“Let’s continue,” he says begrudgingly. But nobody moves, still shell-shocked about yousr argument. But this causes Bakugou to explode.
“Are you not going to start? Let’s get on with it!!” he hollers and everyone rushes like mice to get back to production. Bakugou lets out a long sigh, face in a permanent frown.
Miruko sits on the back of the couch and looks down at her old friend. She could tell that he was hurting just as much as you, if not more.
“Idiot~” Miruko sang.
“Ha?” Bakugou glared up at his past mentor. Mirko looked at her nails, not paying mind to the hot head who was on the verge of exploding.
“You need to go apologize,” she told him, more like ordered him to.
“Like it’s my fault.”
“You didn’t take her feelings into consideration,” Miruko pointed out, silencing Bakugou on the spot. “If she was feeling a little jealous, then her feelings are totally valid. You need to do something about it and make her feel like she doesn’t need to worry about anything.” Bakugou was only getting more annoyed.
“Whatever. It’s just business. If she can’t understand that, then we don’t need to be together,” he tried to convince himself. But that only hurt himself more.
“Whatever my ass. Then if you can’t be a good boyfriend and comfort her instead of making her feel insecure, then she doesn’t need you. She can find a better man who treats her good.”
“I do treat her good,” Right?
“Oh yes, I can tell,” Miruko said sarcastically. But in all seriousness, she knew he was hurting and she was trying to give advice from a woman’s perspective, but he is so stubborn and hard-headed that he doesn’t want to admit that he was in the wrong.
“Look, you let her go home like that right now, you’re not going to get her back. Go after her,” she advices on a serious note. Bakugou takes a moment to think but it’s all too much. He ruffles his hair and shoots up from the couch.
“Fuck this shit. I’m not doing this anymore,” he announces and storms out of the building. But not before shoving the metal jewelry in his pant pocket.
You didn’t know where you were going. You just walked and walked until you wind up somewhere. And god, you were so hungry. But you couldn’t go to that fancy restaurant that Bakugou had already made reservations for. God forbid he walks in while you were eating. And with another woman? How embarrassing. You couldn’t use his name or his fame anymore. You didn’t want to go back home. What if he shows up at your place? It probably wasn’t likely. He said he was done with you. You left the ring back with him. You guys were over. He wouldn’t show up uninvited. He has no reason to. You didn’t have money on you. You didn’t have any mode of transportation. The only think you had was your phone but the battery can only last so long. So you continued on walking until you hit a park and sat down on one of the benches. You were left alone to bathe in your thoughts until the set sun.
“Where the fuck did she go?” Bakugou mumbled to himself. He checked all the alleyways, in between streets, high and low, but he couldn’t spot you. No matter how he was frustrated he was feeling, he started to get nervous. He wondered if you were okay and safe right now. You hadn’t eaten all day. Wait. There’s no way…
“Hi. Reservation for 2. Under Bakugou,” Bakugou told the hostess. He arrived at the restaurant, in hopes that you came in. But when the hostess said that you hadn’t shown up, his shoulders deflated. Back to square one. So if you weren’t here, then where were you? Had you eaten yet?
Trying his luck, he went to your apartment, but after many attempts, you didn’t open the door. You could either by ignoring him or you weren’t home yet. Knowing you, you probably weren’t home. Then he was going to wait until you came home. Taking a seat next to your door, Bakugou waited. And he was going to wait until he could see your face.
You watched as happy couples and families walked by you, having the time of their lives. You smiled sadly seeing all their smiles and laughter. How you wish you could be like that. But now you don’t even know if or when that was going to be possible. That was all you wanted. Was to be happy. You didn’t want to be in this rabbit hole of sadness. You didn’t want anybody to pity you just because you were crying. But you did long for somebody to listen to you. For somebody to tell you that it was going to be okay and that you are loved. Love… You wanted someone to love you. He just wasn’t the one for you. Then who is? Will you ever find it? Was this your only chance and you ruined it all just because you couldn’t help but feel jealous?
Stupid.
Stupid (y/n).
You always ruin everything in your life. The one time you got something good, it’s gone in an instant. You knew it was too good to be true. But there’s no going back now. It already happened and now you have to move on.
By the time you noticed, the sun had already set and darkness fell upon you. You wanted to stay longer. You debated whether or not you were going to sleep on the park bench. But after recalling new articles of kidnappings happening around the country recently, you decided to go home.
It took you a while to go home. You walked as slow as you could, taking your sweet time returning back to your apartment. All you want to do is snuggle up in bed and go to sleep. You were so exhausted. Mentally, physically and emotionally. You just needed some rest and then you can worry more in the morning. You were coming up to your apartment and saw a person sitting on the floor what looked like in front of your apartment door. No. But there’s no way.
Blonde hair.
That was all it took for you to turn back, go down those stairs and back to the park. You couldn’t face him right now. You were already broken up so why was he there? He said all he needed to say so why was he there?
You thought you were being sneaky but Bakugou caught you. He saw you going back down those stairs and he immediately got up and chased after you.
“(y/n)!” he called out to you but you ignored him. The sound of his voice made your heart clench.
“(y/n)!” he called again, but louder. Again, you continued to ignore him.
“(y/n)!” he called for the last time, this time grabbing your arm. But you shook him as fast as he grabbed you.
“No, leave me alone,” you managed to say. Just keep on walking. Maybe if you walk long and far enough, he’ll give up. But he wasn’t giving up.
“(y/n), stop!” he grabbed you again, yet this time tighter so you couldn’t escape. Then he traps you in between him and the wall, forcing you to face him.
“Stop! Let me go! Leave me alone!” you cry. Your tear stained face and puffy eyes broke Bakugou’s heart. He did this to you. Fuck. He was the worst. You thrashed around, forcing him to let go, hitting him to push him away. Anything so he could get away from you.
Bakugou let you hit him. He deserved it. Every hit that you take at him, he deserved. Slowly but surely, he pulled you in for a hug. You were so drained that you let him. And as soon as you were in his embrace and your cheek hit his chest, you cried. You let it all out and didn’t stop. Bakugou didn’t say anything. He just held you, patting your head until you calmed down.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. He kissed the top of your head and rested his head there. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He continued to say. Your cries were muffled by being buried in his chest.
You held onto him tight, continuing to cry your heart out. You thought you were never going to see him again. You thought you were never going to hold him again. Or smell him. You world was crashing down on you but was slowly being put together again.
“Do you want to go inside?” he asks you softly. Your voice was too hoarse and sore from all the crying, so you nodded your head, not letting go of him. Bakugou got the hint and picked you up princess style and led you into the house. There was going to be a lot of talking happening soon in that tiny apartment. It was going to be a long night.
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