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21secondsofchristoph · 3 years

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Here is a full translation of the interview featured in Max Magazine.

Original text by Andreas Wrede

This was a lot of work so PLEASE don’t post this elsewhere without credit.

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This story with and about Christoph Waltz is a story coming full circle. A little more than 3 decades ago, a small group of editors and photojournalists, graphic artists and authors started developing the pilot for the first German issue of MAX, made possible by Dirk Manthey, the publisher from Hamburg’s Milchstraße, who knew the magazine from Italy, France and Greece. And who made me the founding-editor in chief. Three decades later, the derivative is released, thanks to publisher Max Iannucci. In 1990, Christoph Waltz was in an episode of “Der Alte”, among other things before he played the torn schlager music star Roy Black in “Du bist nicht allein – Die Roy Black Story” – but we will get to that later.

Now Christoph Waltz is an award-winning, internationally known actor, who won two Oscars for best supporting actor. That is unique for a German-speaking actor. Born in Vienna in 1956, he now lives in Los Angeles – if you want to play a role in Hollywood, literally, you must be present in Los Angeles. And during our conversation in a red, furry saloon of the legendary hotel Sacher in Vienna, he emphasizes, “Hollywood is always the goal”.

The place is very fitting, considering Christoph Waltz grew up in Vienna, in a family that cultivated a great affinity for the work on stage for two generations. He says laconically, “You grow into a thing, you grow up with it, and thus, you acquire a familiarity early on, which you’d otherwise have to conquer with a lot more effort.” He often went to the movies from an early age on, but he spent even more time at the opera. “When I had time and had finished my homework, I enjoyed going to the opera.” Back then, a standing room ticket cost about ten Schilling, just a few cents in today’s currency. Little Christoph loved smuggling into the fascinating, secretive opera house.

Later he attended famous acting schools like the Max Reinhardt Seminar or Lee Strasberg’s Actors Studio with significantly less pleasure. “I didn’t like attending acting schools. They didn’t exactly broaden my horizon.” Christoph Waltz hardly found them inspiring. And when he received offers for movies and theater, he accepted them “instead of dealing and struggling with teachers”. He says this with few gestures and in an almost reporting tone, he has always trusted the energies inherent in him. He had his TV debut in “Der Einstand”, where he played a teenage delinquent. That was fitting, considering he continued playing roles which were different, unexpected, and specific, or roles he filled differently, unexpectedly, and specifically.

Christoph Waltz remembers his beginnings as an actor in the 70s a little wistfully. “There were still movies on TV, which were made as movies for television, as one dramatic entity.” Or when there used to be directors like the great Federico Fellini, who was “very, very specifically Italian in everything he did.” Christoph Waltz continues: “And because of this specificity he was able to reach so many people.” A phenomenon like Fellini is marked by obstinacy, nonconformity, and distinct individuality. However, some significant conditions also irritated Christoph Waltz, for instance, when he was hired for the Krzysztof-Zanussi-film “Leben für Leben” in 1991. “I wasn’t adequately informed about the conditions and backgrounds. And so, I found myself – surpsised – in front of a camera in Auschwitz.” How does one react to something like that? “Today, I would know how to react”, he stresses thoughtfully, “but today, that would be due to the self-confidence I acquired over the past years. Back then I felt: Now I’ve been hired for this film.” Alright, he adds, one grows through experience, some conflicts are worth going through. “It helps building character.”

Was the decision to play Roy Black a crystal clear one? Not at all, he responds smiling and closes his eyes for a second. “When my agent called me about it, my spontaneous reaction was: Complete humbug, and I can’t even listen to this music for three seconds.” It only became interesting for him when he learned that Roy Black originally wanted to play Rock ‘n’ Roll. Then he became interested in the tragedy of this character. And the thought that Roy Black’s wish was the desire for freedom and wildness, a wish many Germans shared, “which was inherent in the promising American machinery.” Although this freedom and wildness had always existed in Germany, lived out by people like Nietzsche, Schopenhauer, or Kandinsky.

“The film itself was great, but the marketing-weisenheimers managed to break this film. It would be a great cine film, but they advertised it as a sob story for television. Consequently, the real Roy-Black fans were disappointed, while the people who might have been interested in the movie judged: Leave me alone with this sob story twerp. Well, the weisenheimers are the weisenheimers, what can you do”, deems Christoph Waltz with a beautiful touch of Viennese sarcasm and barely noticeable risen eyebrows. One does not always have to instrumentalize the entire acting equipment with him. A few little cues are enough.

Many more films follow before someone calls from Hollywood and say he is supposed to participate in Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds. In our interview he calls this his “Quentin-jump”, where he is at eye level with Diane Kruger, Brad Pitt and Michael Fassbender in front of the camera. “Tarantino, we mentioned this before, stands for specificity and authenticity, he has an eye for both.” Did Christoph Waltz go into this production with a lot of respect? “With great respect.” He remembers an encounter with Sylvester Groth in front of a theatre in Babelsberg. “Every Thursday, Quentin showed movies during preparation. Once, Sylvester and I stood in front of the theatre and we both said: Imagine this, now we’ve been doing this for so long and suddenly we find ourselves here.” Then we paused for a few moments and kept going: Yes, and despite everything, we’re doing what we’ve always done – what we do, because that is what we do.”

Before Tarantino’s office could call again, other international projects followed, like The Green Hornet (with Cameron Diaz, Tom Wilkinson, James Franco) or Carnage (with Jodie Foster, Kate Winslet, John C. Reilly). Then Django Unchained (with Jamie Foxx, Leonardo DiCaprio, Samuel L. Jackson). For his role in Django Unchained, Christoph Waltz wins his second Oscar for best supporting actor in 2013 and Quentin wins another one for best original screenplay. But Christoph Waltz remains humble: “The opportunities presented to someone for personal growth always come to you through other people.” Although the actor always makes a binary decision. “Yes or no. Am I going to do it or not.”

Can one also make the wrong decision? “You decide for one or the other and from that other possibilities develop, but neither is better or worse.” That was not any different for Quentin Tarantino or for his first film and its director Reinhard Schwabenitzky, who saw him in acting school. Christoph Waltz leans forward and says confidentially: “The essential chances and opportunities were those which were presented to me by another mind, by a great talent, through a vision, which came from another person.” Nothing more, nothing less.

Yes, humility is a virtue. But we do not want to conceal the fact that Christoph Waltz was the first German-speaking host on Saturday Night Live and that he received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame (No. 2536, 6667 Hollywood Boulevard). The quote: “And Hollywood is always the goal.” Is correct, “like others say their goal is to get into heaven.” Hollywood, heaven: “I don’t mean to compare the two goals, but the setting of these goals. Especially Hollywood has been mythologized into more than it deserves credit for.” In this respect, as a myth, it is always the goal. Please don't tell anyone Christoph Waltz is over-the-top - the opposite is the case.

During our exchange in the Sacher, I mention one of my favorite books on film. It is Peter Biskind’s Easy Riders, Raging Bulls – How the Sex-Drugs-And-Rock’n’roll Generation saved Hollywood. It says: „There is no worse career move in Hollywood than dying. Hal Ashby is now largely forgotten, because he had the misfortune to die at the end of the 80’s, but he had the most remarkable run of any ’70 director. After ‚The Landlord‘, in 1970, he made ‚Harold and Maude‘, ‚The Last Detail‘, ‚Shampoo‘, ‚Bound for Glory‘, ‚Coming Home‘ and ‚Being there‘ in 1979, before his career disappeared into the dark tunnel of post-‘70’s, Me Decade Drugs and paranoia.“

It can be assumed that this won’t happen to Christoph Waltz? “That is a good example for the mythologizing I was referring to”, he responds. “I would claim that a legend like James Dean probably wouldn’t have developed at all, had he not driven himself to death in his Porsche at such a young age. Who knows what would have become of Marilyn Monroe, had she not put an early end to her complicated life.” And parallel to Hal Ashby, there probably were thousands of directors, who would have been happy to pay their next rent – by working in their profession. It is therefor about comparativeness.

Onto another career step, the James Bond movie Spectre, in which Christoph Waltz portrays the dark Blofeld, a character, who appeared in previous Bond movies. How do we have to imagine that? One sunny day the agent comes along and says: “You’re on the list for the next Bond movie”? Christoph Waltz knows there are no rules to this, especially when it is something like James Bond. A series that has been at the peak of possibilities for more than 50 years.” The producers have a lot to lose, they have to look very closely. Not only to keep up the standard, they also want to be ahead of their time.

Was it intriguing to play this bad boy a second time? Is it about an additional nuance of expertly irony; is it about the myth that is Bond? “This was another unique opportunity for me”, says Christoph Waltz, “a unique opportunity to include myself into such an incredibly successful series.” Now after Spectre, for the second time in No Time To Die – a title that can offer a bit of comfort in times of the world wide covid pandemic. And Christoph Waltz is in the Bond movie that will be Daniel Craig’s final Bond. “It’s his fourth Bond movie”, he counts, “the actors change but the role remains the same. Of course, the role acquires a different profile and thus, different facets.” But it remains James Bond. “And when a new actor gets the role, he has to fit into the role, not the other way around.” Once again, we will have to wait for this Bond movie. It will probably hit theatres in spring 2021.

It reminds one of Shakespeare’s Troilus and Cressida – we’ve seen it a dozen times but keep going to see it again. Nowadays you go to see the production, in the past you went to see whosit faithless. Speaking of productions: Are the demands towards a Bond director more extensive compared to other film projects? “Surely there are more things to keep an eye on compared to a low budget movie or an independent film. In productions like that, you often have to use the tools you have. In Denmark they had demands referring to this “, Christoph Waltz comments in a slightly mocking undertone. He means the group around Lars von Trier? “Precisely, they called it Dogma for fun, and the world took them seriously.” But that is part of it, right, part of the business.

Anyway, every little detail is carefully manufactured for a Bond movie. And that takes, apart from a lot of money, a great level of expertise and many employees, which combine into a story on film. “Legions of people work on every pixel, not to mention the light and the meaning of the music.” With all this in mind, it’s understandable how appealing it is to be in a movie like No Time To Die. Christoph Waltz has a lot of praise for the director, Cary Fukanaga: “He always knew exactly what he was doing and we knew exactly, why he did this or that”. Audiences were able to see this in previous projects, like the brilliant first season of True Detective, where he directed all eight episodes.

Christoph Waltz wouldn’t be Christoph Waltz if he didn’t show his extraordinary talents in unconventional projects as well, like the show Most Dangerous Game (with Liam Hemsworth, produced for Quibi). “What interested me there? The new dramatic form, it’s a story in 16 sections, each section only eight minutes long. We’re dealing with a new form of storytelling.” Does it remind him of the continuous comics that used to be in US-newspapers a few decades ago?

“Yes, it’s connected to that – but it also reminds me of Charles Dickens, who published many of his novels as newspaper installments. In Most Dangerous Game the great story arch is not lost, the suspense is carried from one episode into the next. “That is a sleight of hand.” And for that he received an Emmy nomination, and it wouldn’t be surprising if he was to win the prestigious award one day. But he pulled off other sleight of hands in the past. Or how the New York Times says in a headline: “Christoph Waltz directing Opera, moves from Tarantino to Verdi.” Adding his old comment to this: “The full-blooded, juicy movie experience has a lot of operatic qualities. I’m not talking about the film music, but about the rhythm and color and phrasing.” After “Der Rosenkavalier” (Music: Richard Strauss, Libretto: Hugo von Hofmannsthal), which he staged at the Antwerp Opera, came Giuseppe Verdi’s “Falstaff”, his second opera there.

“I’m not a fan of the never-seen-before concept”, says Christoph Waltz. He agrees with Susan Sontag’s essay Against Interpretation – in opera, there is a fix story, and the music is the central transmitter of this story. Over-interpretations can quickly become “dangerous sliding tackles.” Waltz wants to avoid those. “I want to show what the composers and authors meant.” He stayed true to Sontag’s principle in all three of his opera productions, the third on being Beethoven’s only opera “Fidelio”.

He is self-critical enough, “to personally take the risk of failing.” What would be the alternative?

“I’m just an actor, now what do the music critics, who take themselves so seriously say? Some foam at the mouth and brawl ‘the movie-bod is interfering in the opera’.” He prefers the critics that are capable of formulating things between the lines. “When I read elsewhere, that the very thing I was trying to convey can be seen in detail, then I’m quietly happy about it.” Sadly, the live performances of Fidelio fell victim to the covid-crisis, but there was a TV-screening on ORF, which can certainly be called presentable with 11% of the market-share. “During ‘Fidelio’ I first realized physically that music is a spatial experience.” Here fits another Waltz-quote: “Strip away anything that us unnecessary.” Ergo: Reduce the action to the interaction between the characters. That is an art he mastered to perfection in acting.”

For once, I could surprise the cleaned up, chatty, well-tempered Christoph Waltz with a little research.

In his birthyear, 1956, his fellow countryman Walter Felsenstein, founder and artistic director of the “Komische Oper” in Berlin filmed a version of “Fidelio”. To this day, it remains the only film adaptation of the opera. Probably because – so the actor quotes Felsenstein – “this opera technically is impossible to stage”, he says with aplomb, an attitude that suits him. In ballet an aplomb describes the ability to absorb a movement, the balance.

Christoph Waltz not only shoots a lot of movies, but he also enjoys reading one particular movie critic: Anthony Lane of the New Yorker. Surely one of the most sharpened critics, who outtalks someone or rubs the reader’s nose into his alleged ignorance. We start talking about Lane via a new movie by the fabulous Agnieszka Holland, “Mr. Jones” – referring to Gareth Jones, advisor to the former British Prime Minister Lloyd George. Jones uncovers that the devastating hunger crisis in the Ukraine in 1932/33 was exclusively due to Stalin’s exploiting politics. Anthony Lane writes in inimitable fashion: „Is it conceivable that Holland’s bleak, murky, and instructive film could prompt a change of heart in the current Russian establishment, or even a confession of crimes past? Not a chance.“ Greetings from Belarus.

And of course, we also talk about COVID, what does an actor do who can’t act during these times? Is he reading Robert Musil’s novel The Man Without Qualities, which has more than 1000 pages? “Oh, I’ve already attempted to read this three times. The first time, I got to page 200, the second time I got to page 400, the third time I put it away after 100 pages.” But he doesn’t fully abandon the idea of finishing it one day. “But that would really be a true accomplishment of discipline”, he underlines, allusively smiling. Less amusing is the current stagnancy in Hollywood, where Christoph Waltz lives with his wife and daughter for the most part. “It will be illuminating once things pick up again”, he ponders “will a reforming spirit take over, or will everything fall back into the old, ignorant patterns, or even cause worse?” The temporary dysfunctionality of Hollywood is comparable to a dysfunctional family, which mechanisms become especially clear during crisis. Now he visited his mother here in Vienna. I allow myself the question, “Is Vienna your home?” “Vienna is my home, home is something you can’t choose, like your parents. Everything else can become your center of living, all that is willingly moveable – but home, home cannot be changed at will.”

#christoph waltz #max magazine

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captainsolare · 3 years

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Concert

Fluffvember Day 7: Concert - Leopold Vermillion (f! reader)

Summary: You're a classical violinist and tonight is your big debut at the Castle Town concert hall. Your long-time friend Leopold is in the audience, and he begins to see you in a whole new light after watching you achieve your biggest dream

Word Count: 1,825

A/N: I’m probably a little biased because I am a classical violinist, but this was by far my favorite one to write so far this month! I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. The Max Bruch Violin Concerto no. 1 partly inspired this so if you would like to, listen to the first movement.

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You stood in the atrium of the concert hall, patrons, mostly upper crust and royalty, milling about and drinking before the event began. "Ugh Y/N, I don't know how you can stand going to these events. Everything is so stuffy, even the clothing." Your friend Leopold complained, pulling the collar of his dress shirt away from his neck. You rolled your eyes, at him lightly punching him in the arm, "Going to these events, is kind of my job you know. Plus, orchestra music isn't stuffy, you're just lame and have no taste."

Leo was about to object but before he could do so a bell was rung and you had to dash off. "Sorry! That's my cue to go change, I'll see you after the concert okay?" You said apologetically, planting a chaste goodbye kiss on his cheek before disappearing into the crowd. The kiss was meant as a friendly gesture, nothing more, the two of you had grown up quite close after all, but nonetheless Leo was left standing there dumbstruck, hand lightly touching the place your lips had been a moment before.

He gathered himself and entered the concert hall, heading for the Vermillion family box; he was a little nervous he had to admit, he was the sole Vermillion sibling here tonight and so a lot of eyes were on him. Fuegoleon was away on an important business matter and who knows where Mereoleona was, she usually couldn't be bothered to come to events like this, they were far too constricting for her wild nature.

Even though Leo found these events stuffy, like most of his royal duties, he came tonight without much complaint because tonight would be the first time he would get to see you perform a concerto with an orchestra as large as this one. You had picked up the violin at an early age, and had been traveling the country playing at concert halls all over, but tonight would be your big debut on the Castle Town stage and Leo was excited. Not because he particularly enjoyed orchestral music like this, but because it was something you enjoyed. Growing up, he had always admired the way your eyes sparkled as you talked about your dreams of someday playing on this stage, and here you were achieving the dream you had worked so hard for.

The first piece was a long drawn out number that had him nearly falling asleep, Mimosa, his cousin, had to elbow him several times to keep him from snoring. He supposed he should have felt a bit sheepish, but you weren't onstage so he couldn't bring himself to care all that much. During intermission Mimosa turned to him excitedly, "Y/N is on next, isn't that so exciting?" He nodded, "Yeah! This is her big dream!"

Intermission seemed to be over in a flash, the lights dimming and he waited with bated breath as the spotlight lit up the space you'd walk through shortly. When you appeared Leo felt his breath hitch, you were in a stunning turquoise dress, sparkling in the light that illuminated the stage. "Wow." Mimosa whispered, awestruck. He could only nod in agreement, the dress suited you perfectly, the perfect battle armor to conquer the stage tonight.

When you'd told him about this concert a few weeks ago, it had taken everything in him not to launch himself across the table and wrap you up in a bear hug. Well, almost everything, despite him trying not to, he did it anyway, leaving you both grinning ear to ear and laughing with excitement.

The audience clapped and you shook hands with the conductor and the concertmaster then took up your post near the front of the stage. Leo remembered you mentioning that you were nervous about playing from memory, so he silently cheered you on, hoping you could hear him in your heart.

As the timpani began playing, your eyes searched the audience, your hands were sweaty and your heart was pounding, you couldn't see the audience very well because of the spotlights but you knew there was a familiar head of red hair out in the crowd and that gave you comfort. The flutes and woodwinds came in next and you prepared to come in with your cadenza.

From the second your first note reached his ears, to the second your last chord echoed through the hall Leo simply found himself unable to take his eyes off of you. Your notes were spellbinding, taking his breath away and telling a story with just sound, it was a language unlike any he had heard before. He had always admired you, your strength of character, your sense of humor, your honesty, brutal at times but that's definitely when he needed to hear it the most; but tonight, something tugged at his heartstrings and was rooting in his brain, and suddenly he saw you in a whole new light.

When the concerto ended you were a panting mess, any trace of nervousness had evaporated as you reached the end, a beaming smile appeared on your face as you bowed, the roar of applause filling your ears. From somewhere in the crowd you heard a distinct whistle and you had to contain your laughter, that was definitely Leo. I guess he liked it then? That's fantastic! You probably wouldn't admit this to anyone, but when you got up on this stage tonight you didn't care about all the opinions of the various noble folk and royalty that had attended, if you were being honest the most important, and perhaps the only opinion that mattered to you was Leopold's.

You made your way to the atrium because you had to accept your congratulations from the audience members in person, it was simply good practice. Several people congratulated you, others noted that you played well even though you were not royalty, you took each comment with grace and a smile, praying that you'd be able to go home soon and celebrate as you wished to; perhaps with a long soak in the bath to ease your aching muscles.

Leo and Mimosa appeared in the atrium, eyes scanning the room for a sign of you; Mimosa couldn't help but be amused by the way you both perked up as you caught sight of one another. Ahh, young love. She mused, then giggled to herself, who am I kidding? I'm young too.

Leo made a beeline for you as soon as your current conversation ended and grabbed your hands with excitement. "Oh Y/N, that was so amazing, I could just kiss you right now!" He said, practically buzzing with energy. You deadpanned and he was about to pull away, but rather than pulling away as well you said, "Kiss me then." It was almost a challenge, and Leo backed down from it, suddenly hyper-aware of all the people watching you; he lost his nerve and decided to change the subject.

"Do you--- do you need someone to come with you? To help carry your things?" He asked, nervous about even this small interaction for some reason. Mentally he kicked himself, usually, conversation was so easy with you, but now he was just a bumbling mess. Your face fell into a smile, "That would be lovely Leo." You led the way to the green room and greeted the other performers, thanking them for a job well done. As you packed your things, Leo couldn't help but notice the slight frown that twisted your features. "Are you alright?" he asked quietly. When you nodded he dropped the subject, opting instead to carry your things as he had promised.

The atrium was empty when you emerged from the green room, and you found yourself in awkward silence with Leo. Secretly, you were disappointed that he hadn't taken you up on your challenge earlier and you didn't know how to feel about it. Do I really have feelings for him? Leo's thoughts seemed to be on the same track as yours as you exited the building into the night air.

"Did you mean it?" "Mean what?" You asked, turning to face him; in an attempt to not misconstrue things you weren't going to answer unless he asked you exactly what was on his mind. A blush graced Leo's features and his heart was pounding in his head, "Did you actually want me to kiss you back there?"

You tilted your head, trying to sort through your emotions so you could give him a straight answer. "I think so. I'm not really sure, I just, I said that without thinking and I'm not sure of what exactly I'm feeling right now." Leo gulped, trying to gather up the courage for his next question, "Do you… do you still want me to?"

Your heart pounded in your chest as you nodded, eyes not leaving your friend for a second as he carefully set your things on the ground next to him. He wiped his sweaty palms on his pants and awkwardly grabbed your arms as he leaned in, the kiss was short and sweet, but it left you with an unsatisfied feeling and solidified in your mind that you did, in fact, want to kiss him. In fact, you wanted to kiss his stupid face again and again.

Leo looked away awkwardly, wanting to kiss you again but not sure how to ask. Luckily he didn't have to, as you grabbed his shirt and pulled him in closer to you. "Do you want me to?" You asked breathlessly, you were so close you could feel each other's breaths on your lips. When he nodded you didn't hesitate, slamming your lips into his.

Mimosa appeared from out of the concert hall, a mixture of wanting to roll her eyes and cheer seeping into her expression. "Took you guys long enough." She said, hands on her hips and looking away; she was happy for you both but the last thing she wanted to watch was your makeout session.

The two of you jumped and pulled apart quickly at her sudden interjection. "What do you mean, took us long enough?" You asked, a little sheepish at the implication that she had known your feelings long before you had. "Don't worry about it. Want to go get some ice cream or something to go celebrate your big night?" You and Leo exchanged a glance, "Absolutely!" Mimosa led the way to the nearby ice cream shop, you and Leo trailing a little ways behind.

"Was tonight exactly how you dreamed it would be?" He asked as you walked hand in hand. You shook your head and smiled at him, glancing at your intertwined hands, "Nope, it was even better."

"Hurry up or I'll eat without you!" Mimosa yelled, interrupting your moment for a second time that night. You both chuckled and sped up to meet her at the door, filled with the feeling of a new chapter beginning.

#Fluffvember 2020 #f!reader #leopold vermillion fluff #leopold x reader #aurora borealis #planet fluffvember

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sometimesiwritebadly · 4 years

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Rehearsal (Peter Parker x Reader)

Summary: Peter and you have to rehearse a scene for your theatre class, which just so happens to have a kiss in it. (Gender neutral reader!)

Prompts: 1. “Why would you do this?” 22. “This is the part where you kiss me.”

Warnings: good old fashioned fluff

Note: Lol this one kinda got away from me. I used a random number generator to choose the prompts and only expected this to be like 800 words max but I ended up with over 2k so. but I really like what I ended up with so I hope y’all do too <3 mostly from Peter’s POV btw. oh and I tried to keep it gender neutral but it’s natural for me to write with a female reader so let me know if I accidentally left a few she’s/her’s in there.

Word Count: 2.1k

Masterlist

Peter Parker is a nerd. He’s good at science and math, which is why he’s attending Midtown School of Science and Technology. Despite the STEM focus the school has, there’s still a requirement for at least one art-related class in order to graduate. When Peter chose an entry level Theatre class, he hoped it would focus more on the study of famous plays than actually having to stand on a stage and act. Peter was very, very wrong. For the first assignment of the semester, students had to pair up and perform a short, dramatic piece. He had been paired with Y/N Y/L/N, who he had a minor crush on. Ok, major crush. After he and MJ broke up last year, he honestly didn’t think he’d find anyone else for a while. But then Y/N transferred to Midtown, and he was whipped right from the start.

“Look man, you gotta use this opportunity to make a move!” Peter and Ned were walking down the hallway between classes, Ned trying to convince Peter again that this was a great chance to finally tell Y/N how he feels. “Just look up some cute scene for the two of you to perform! It’ll be like when Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie fell in love on set!”

“I’m pretty sure they broke up, Ned.”

“Whatever. The point stands.”

The pair approached their lockers, where you were waiting. You had a few papers in your hand, which held your attention until you noticed Peter in front of you.

“H-hey. What’s up?” Peter tried his best to contain his stutter, but couldn’t help it. Y/N just had that effect on him.

“Hey Pete, I, um, I found some potential scripts for us to use for our assignment. I thought you could look over them before we rehearse at mine on Friday? I like them all, so whichever you wanna go with is fine...although I did put a star next to my favorite piece.” You handed half of the papers you were holding to Peter, keeping copies of each script for yourself. Peter noticed that the copies you kept had already been highlighted and annotated, while his were straight from the printer. Except for the small star at the top of the first script in his stack. Before Peter could respond, the warning bell began to ring, signaling only a minute to get to your next class. “Just text me whichever one you want, and we can walk to my place after school tomorrow to rehearse.” You said this as you began to walk away, giving Peter and Ned a small wave before you turned around to race to your final class of the day.

~~~

Instead of paying attention to his teacher’s lecture during Chemistry, Peter spent the 50 minute period reading through the scripts you had chosen. Peter already knew he wanted to perform the script you liked, but he was nervous. Your favorite scene happened to be the only one which called for a kiss, but he didn’t know if he had the guts to go for it. He could easily choose either of the other scenes and call it a day, but...well, was this your way of making a move? Had you intentionally chosen the script with a kiss to find out if Peter liked you? Did you like him? Or did you just choose that one because you genuinely thought it was the best option?

The bell rang, interrupting Peter’s thoughts and signaling the end of the school day. Hopefully a few hours of swinging through the streets of New York would be enough to distract Peter from thinking about you all night. For once, Peter was actually hoping New York criminals would keep him busy.

~~~

When Peter slipped through the window of his bedroom, his thoughts were unsurprisingly still revolving around you. Despite a somewhat busy night - two muggings, an almost-car crash, and one lost little girl now safely back with her mother - He still hadn’t been able to come to a decision. Half an hour ago you had texted Peter asking if he had chosen a script yet, and he still hadn’t responded.

“Just go with the script they want, Pete. Even if Y/N doesn’t like you, at least you’ll get to kiss them.” He thought as he removed his skin-tight supersuit and changed into some sweats and a t-shirt. He grabbed his phone from the pocket of his backpack, and, after another minute or so of arguing with himself, finally began to type.

8:31 pm

Y/N:

hey pete, have you decided which script you wanna do yet?

9:06 pm

Peter:

Uh, yeah. I think the one you liked is the best.

9:08 pm

Y/N:

yesss, i was hoping you’d choose that one. i have great taste ;)

9:08 pm

Peter:

Haha, yeah, you do. We’ll rehearse tomorrow after school right?

9:10 pm

Y/N:

yup! i’ll meet you by your locker again :) see ya tomorrow pete

Peter decided to let the conversation end there. Honestly, he had no idea what to think. What does “I have great taste ;)” mean? Is that a reference to the kiss? Does this mean they like him? Or is it just a joke? Peter sent a screenshot of the conversation to Ned for help, but Ned being Ned wasn’t helpful at all.

9:15 pm

Ned:

Just. Make. A. Move.

9:16 pm

Ned:

Betty thinks you should make a move too.

Despite his confusion and nerves over tomorrow’s rehearsal, Peter managed to fall asleep at a reasonable time. Hopefully tomorrow he’d get the answers he was looking for.

~~~

Peter waited by his locker after the final bell rang. As the hallways began to clear, he noticed you making your way over to him.

“Sorry, I hope you weren’t waiting too long. My English class is basically all the way across the school.” You looked nervous. Is that good? Or bad? Have you been thinking about the kiss too?

“Y-you’re fine. I’ve only been here for like a minute.” That was a lie. Peter’s Chemistry class was just across the hall from his locker, but you didn’t need to know that. After he finished talking, you seemed to lose all sense of nerves.

“I guess it wasn’t me causing the nerves then…” Peter thought, his mood dropping a little.

“Oh good. Let’s get going then, my apartment is only a couple blocks from here.” And so you began the short walk to your place. You made some small talk on the way there, talking about your other classes instead of the one class you did share.

“You have Mrs. Jenson third period right? I have her during fifth. Maybe we can study together for her tests...I know the school year just started, but I can already tell she’ll make her tests unnecessarily evil.” You said as the both of you entered your building.

“That’s a good idea, I know someone who took her class last year and they said she always had essay questions. Not to mention 5 choices for multiple choice questions instead of the usual four.” Peter responded. As he spoke, they headed towards the elevator, and Y/N pressed the button, causing the doors to immediately open. After hitting the number 4 on the wall, the doors slowly began to close. Despite the unfortunate news he was sharing with Y/N, his voice had a hopeful tone to it; They want to hang out with him again. Sure, it’s just loose plans to study for a test sometime in the future, but hey, he’ll take it.

“Damn. History has never been my subject, so I’ll definitely need the extra study time. I can never remember all the important dates.” Your phone buzzed after that, causing you to glance down at it. As you responded to whoever had texted you, Peter was left to his thoughts when the elevator began to move. It wasn’t until the elevator doors opened and you stepped out that the conversation resumed. “That was my mom, guess she’s gonna be at work for a few more hours. We can order a pizza if you want, I’m not sure how long we’ll be rehearsing today.”

“Pizza, uhm,” Peter’s voice cracked, “Pizza sounds good.” Peter cursed to himself, but if you had noticed his voice cracking, you had the decency to ignore it. You pulled your keys from your backpack, and unlocked the second apartment on the floor.

“Cool, I’ll order something online. Pepperoni ok for you?” You asked as you walked into the apartment, holding the door open for Peter. Peter only nodded, not really trusting his voice for the moment. He took a second to look around the place as you closed the door behind him. When you came into his eyesight again, you were looking at your phone, presumably ordering the pizza. “Since my mom isn’t here we can rehearse in the living room, it’s just this way.” Peter followed you as you led him across the apartment, then sat on the couch. He tried to give you space as you continued punching in the pizza order. While you were busy, Peter opened his own backpack and pulled out the script you had agreed upon. Last night he had highlighted his lines, although luckily for this assignment the teacher had mentioned that memorization was optional. After all, the school year had just begun and it was a beginner’s class.

“Ok, pizza will be here in like half an hour. Now we can get to work!” You quickly pulled out your own script from your backpack, and turned to face Peter. “Do you wanna just read through it a few times, then once we’re used to it we could start working out the blocking?” You suggested.

“Y-yeah, sure, that works for me.” Peter was relieved at this option; read throughs meant he didn’t have to worry about the kiss yet. “Your character starts, right?”

And so the two of you began reading through the script. It was short, only a few pages, and featured someone on the day of their wedding, and the man who was trying to convince them to leave their fiance. At first, the reading was a little awkward, as neither of you had any experience in acting, but by the third or fourth time you had gone through the script together, both of you were feeling much more comfortable. Instead of sitting away from each other on opposite ends of the couch, you were close, the way your characters would be. The blocking had even begun to take shape naturally, so you and Peter stood for the fifth reading, walking around the room, trying your best to embody the characters as they argued. This time, as you approached the end of the script however, Peter’s nerves returned.

“Why would you do this? Just barging in here on my wedding day?” You said, trying to act as frustrated and confused as you felt your character would be.

“You and I both kn-know you don’t love him! You’ll never be happy with him!” Peter tried to keep his nerves in check, but he knew what was coming.

“And how do you know I’d be happier with you?” Following the stage directions indicated on your script, you stepped closer to Peter. Instead of continuing with the scene, Peter just stared at you, no longer looking at his script. “Uh, Pete?” He still didn’t respond. You were confused, until you looked back at the script. You weren’t sure how you had forgotten, after all, this is why you chose the scene in the first place. “Peter, this is the part where you kiss me” You said quietly. You had taken his choosing of this scene to mean he liked you too, but you weren’t sure. His eyes widened a little at your words though, which made your confidence drop. “O-or not, um, we could do a stage kiss, or you could just kiss my cheek, or we could just cut it complet-” Peter cut off your rambling by putting his hands on your cheek and bringing his lips to meet yours. You were shocked, but easily melted into the kiss. He was gentle as he kissed you, his nerves disappearing the second you kissed him back. After a while, you both separated from the kiss. Neither of you spoke for a minute, just staring at each other.

“U-um.. that was ok, right?” Peter whispered, as you were still pretty close to him. You only smiled, and gave him another short kiss as a response. Before you guys could do anything else, there was a knock at the door.

“Pizza!” Someone said loudly through the wood. Before you could make a move, Peter had grabbed his wallet and was already walking towards the front door.

“I’ll pay...after all, what kind of gentleman would I be if I let you pay on our first date?”

#peter parker x reader #spiderman x reader #peter parker #fluff

85 notes · View notes

emybain · 4 years

Text

Quarantine: Renegades Edition

so please don’t take this seriously. i honestly don’t remember writing half of it, but it be like that. this is simply a glimpse into the lives of Nova and Adrian during a global pandemic, aka snippets of the few months they’re in quarantine together. also, happy birthday to my girl nova. there’s a bonus/crack scene at the end that was inspired by tiktok, as well. i regret nothing (other than this poorly written fic)

ao3

“They’re saying this thing could spread into June, July, maybe even August,” Adrian said, relaxing back into the leather couch, pulling the laptop with him. Nova adjusted against him, pulling the blanket over her legs just a little higher as the AC powered on.

“That’s if people keep being dumbasses,” Danna replied from behind the screen, leaning forward to rest her head in her palm. “It’s our job as citizens to prevent the spread of this disease. Why can’t people get that through their thick heads?”

Nova and Adrian were on a video call with the rest of their friends, who were all also quarantined in their homes. Nova had her own apartment, but at the very start of this outbreak—a new disease that was rapidly spreading around the world—she decided that quarantining by herself for an unknown amount of time wouldn’t be good for her mental health, so she packed up clothing and other essentials and headed over to the Everhart-Westwood residence. Not to mention that a mansion was vastly better than a one room apartment. Oh yeah, and she supposed being stuck with her boyfriend every day wasn’t so bad.

“They’re being ignorant,” Nova chipped in. “People think that they’re immune, or that this virus is being blown out of proportion.”

“When they get sick, I’ll laugh.” Ruby popped a cracker in her mouth before the camera became blurry as she moved. She appeared to have shifted from lying on her back to her stomach from a spot on her bed. There was minimal background noise from her end, which was suspicious since she shared a room with two teenage boys. They must’ve been off playing video games, probably who Max was laughing with from his room upstairs.

Narcissa poked her head out from behind a lengthy book from her place on Danna’s bed in the background of Danna’s screen.. Like Nova, she lived by herself, and would rather be with her significant other than be alone. “This isn’t the first time a pandemic has spread throughout the world. There was the European Virus fifty years ago, coronavirus back in the 21st century, the Spanish Flu in the 20th century, and so on and so forth.” She waved a hand in the air. “Hopefully, people will come to their senses. History always repeats itself, no matter how hard we may try to prevent it.”

“Thanks for the optimistic input, babe.” Danna rolled her eyes and cast a glance back at her girlfriend.

“It’s what I do,” Narcissa replied, returning her attention back to her book, but there was a smile on her face.

“Well, maybe when things start to calm down a bit, we can all hang out. A picnic or in cars or something.” Oscar shrugged. “Six feet apart, of course. I’m not about to catch something from you nasty people.

“Did you just suggest a picnic?” Ruby snorted. “You might want to check your temperature. I think you’re getting sick.”

“You seem to forget all about the many picnics we’ve had.”

Ruby stuck her tongue out in response, then straightened a little and turned her head to the side. “What?” she yelled. After a moment, she turned back to the screen and groaned. “Ugh, I have to go. Mom’s making me bake with her again. Maybe this time we’ll try something besides bread or cookies.” She waved at them before she vanished from the meeting.

At that moment, the front door clicked and opened, revealing Hugh and Simon, both carrying multiple grocery bags.

“My dads just got home from the store. We should probably go help.” Adrian sat up, leaving Nova to fall a little in his direction as she had been leaning on him.

“Hi Adrian’s Dads!” Oscar yelled, though they were already out of the room when he did so. Nonetheless, they both shouted back their greetings from the kitchen.

“I should probably go, too. There’s this show I started bingeing and I finished the fifth season last night. I’m dying to know what happens after that cliffhanger.” Danna leaned back in her chair.

“Oh, is it that one you were telling me about?” Nova raised her eyebrows. “Based off of that movie series?”

“Yes! And watch it so I can rant to you about it! I’m so pissed off at the main characters. They’re just...so stupid.”

With that, the remaining five waved and said their goodbyes. Adrian set the laptop down on the coffee table in front of them, and they both stood up. Nova stretched, her muscles tired from sitting for nearly an hour.

In the kitchen, Hugh was unloading the bags while Simon busied himself with spraying the items with cleaner and wiping them down with a paper towel. A couple of weeks into quarantine and Nova and Adrian knew what to do. They got to work putting stuff away, with Nova on pantry duty and Adrian at the fridge.

Although Nova hadn’t been out in public since the world went into quarantine, she could tell that the grocery stores and other places were beginning to recover from the initial shock of the pandemic. With each trip to the store, Adrian’s parents came back with more and more food and supplies. Hugh had even decided to buy a fridge to store out in the garage for extra food that didn’t fit inside. She found that to be a bit ridiculous, but it seemed to make him happy. What was it with men and having fridges out in their garages?

“Is Max upstairs?” Simon asked, pushing a milk jug toward Adrian.

“Yeah. I think he’s playing video games.” Adrian shot Nova a look, and she repressed a smile; they both knew what was about to come.

“Has he done any schoolwork since we left two hours ago? Or at least left his room?”

“I think he left to use the bathroom about forty five minutes ago,” Nova said. She glanced at the knock-off brand of her favorite crackers in her hand and sighed, placing it on a shelf. The off-brand wasn’t bad, but it certainly wasn’t the same. It was the type of product that you had to buy name brand, as the imitations were just a waste of money. Alas, with the pandemic, she knew it was a fight to get the good products before anyone else.

“He’ll get it done, Pops,” Adrian reassured. “He’s been doing fine the last couple of weeks. Just going at his own pace, is all.”

“I know.” A sigh escaped Simon’s mouth. “And I’m glad that he’s able to be a kid now, but being a kid includes doing your homework.”

Nova thought of the classes she was taking at a local university. She was doing her best to keep up with her online work, but as the weeks dragged on, she was losing motivation. “This quarantine is probably nothing for Max, remember? I’m sure he does his work whenever he wants to because he actually enjoys doing it.” She shrugged. “Better than sitting around surrounded by glass walls.”

“You’re probably right,” Hugh added, washing his hands once the last of the groceries were out of the bags. “I’m not too worried about him, just as long as I get to see his face once a day.” He chuckled at his own words. Simon offered a smile in support.

Once all the groceries were stored away, Nova and Adrian headed downstairs, taking the laptop with them.

__________

Adrian stood from his seat, where he had previously already been on edge.

“Nova, where are you going?” The glare he received was enough to scare off anyone else. He had seen this side of her before, though, and was unfazed. “It’s almost midnight,” he added, only increasing the glare.

“Anywhere but here.” Her eyes turned to Hugh, who crossed his arms in response. The two were arguing. Again. It was something that was new to their quarantine, having only surfaced about a week ago. They liked to argue over literally anything, from who got to have control over the remote to whether or not Nova should be a part of their daily “family walks” to the current state of the government and the involvement of the Renegades, who were no longer in charge but were still heavily tied into politics. Hell, even the weather wasn’t safe from their growing agitation with one another. Today, everything had been going fine, for once, until Hugh just had to bring up a curfew, as Nova liked to leave the house at odd hours.

“This house is a fucking nightmare.” She gripped the keys to her motorcycle in her hand and turned to the door. From beside him, Adrian heard Max mutter something about irony under his breath. He too, despite entering the years of being a disagreeable teenager, was sick of the fighting.

“Language, young lady,” Hugh said, warning laced in his tone.

“Once again, you’re not my dad,” Nova gritted out. She opened the front door, revealing the darkness outside. “And you never will be.”

“Nova, what he’s asking isn’t completely unreasonable.” Simon ran a hand through his hair and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “You’re in our home for who knows how long, so as parents, you’re now our responsibility. Even when you’re not under our roof, you’re our responsibility. We just want you to be safe.”

“If you don’t want to follow our simple rules, then why are you even here? We’re paying for an apartment not two miles north from here, and you’re not even there. Instead you’re here, wasting our time and resources.” Even though the words weren’t directed at him, Adrian felt a chill go down his spine.

Nova’s mouth opened, and she stared at Hugh blankly. Adrian could’ve sworn he saw her eyes welling up. “I’m here because I didn’t want to be alone. I’ve been alone my entire goddamn life, and I didn’t know if I could handle doing it again.” She swallowed, hand turning on the screen door. “But it’s not like I expect you to understand.” And then she was out the door.

Adrian rushed forward, eyeing his dad coldly. “Seriously?”

“She’s out of line!” Hugh defended, although Adrian could see the regret in his features.

Choosing not to answer him, Adrian shook his head and went outside. Nova was at the end of the driveway, sitting on her motorcycle and looking down at the ground. Adrian approached her slowly, making sure his steps were loud so that she knew he was there.

“I don’t walk to talk about it.” She hid her face even more from him when he bent down. “You’re welcome to come with me, but I don’t want you to get in trouble for breaking curfew.” Her voice soured at the word.

“I understand why you’re mad, but don’t avoid me because of it.” He lightly nudged her chin with his knuckles.

“He’s just so...so…” she lifted her head up, running a hand through her hair in frustration as she tried to find the right words

“Stubborn? Controlling? Self righteous?”

“Yes.” She let out a laugh, though it was void of humor. “It’s just...who does he think he is? I’m an adult. Even if he was my father, he can’t control what I can and cannot do.”

“You seem to forget that I’ve had to live with him for years,” Adrian said dryly. He reached for her hand and laced their fingers together. “I’m an adult, too, but that doesn’t matter because he pays the bills.”

Nova gave him a long look. “You really need your own place.”

“Don’t remind me.”

“But you get what I mean.” She looked down at their hands, turning them around to examine the back of his. “I’m not his kid. It’s different with you because you’re his son.”

“That doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to keep you safe.” Her grip on him tightened, just slightly. Even though it had been a few years since the events surrounding the supernova, Nova still had trouble believing that her former enemies actually cared about her. It was hard to trust them when it had been ingrained in her from a young age that they were the bad guys.

“I can take care of myself fine. I’ve been out in the middle of the night so many times I’ve lost count. I’ve been doing it since I was a kid.”

Adrian sighed and rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand. There wouldn’t be any reasoning with her, at least not tonight. He had to let her cool down and return to the subject when she had a clearer mind. “At least come back inside? We can go play video games downstairs, or watch a movie, or do anything you want. I’m sure once you and Hugh are both calmed down, you can reach a compromise.”

“But I don’t want a fucking com-”

“Or he’ll see things your way,” he tacked on quickly. Right. When she got like this, it had to be her way. It was funny, how she resented Hugh at times for his stubbornness, when she was equally as stubborn if not more so. This quarantine was really getting to all of them. Adrian couldn’t wait for the day life could go back to normal.

“Adrian? Nova?” Adrian turned his head around to see Max, who was squinting at them through the dark, despite the outside lights being on.

“What’s up, Max?” Nova shifted her body on the bike to face the teen.

“Pops wants to know if you’re coming inside soon. He needs to set the alarm so he and Dad can go to bed.” Max paused, eyeing the bike. “Unless you’re going for a ride, then he’ll leave it off.”

Adrian waited for Nova to answer, as it was up to her. Nova ran her free hand over the bike, then sighed.

“We’ll be in right behind you. I was just...checking some things on her.” All three knew she was lying, but Nova was still learning how to express her emotions in front of others. Even in front of Max, someone she got along with as well as she did with Adrian.

“Alright.” Max turned to leave, then glanced back at her. “You know, things are rough right now, and I know it isn’t easy for everyone to be in isolation for so long, but,” he shrugged, “at least we’re together. I was able to make it in a quarantine for ten years with no one but myself and the doctors for company, so this is easy for me, but I know I’m probably the only person on this planet who thinks that way.” He let out a soft laugh. “I guess I’m just trying to say that I’m glad you’re here, and that I’m glad our family is quarantining together.” The smile he shot her was genuine. He turned back around and walked back to the house, where Adrian could see the outlines of his dads watching at the door.

“Huh.” Adrian watched his brother go inside. “Just when you think he’s starting to learn how to be a proper kid-”

“-he goes and spouts shit like that?” Nova finished, shaking her head. Adrian could see the small smile on her face through the curls hiding her features.

“Yeah.” Adrian squeezed her hand. “C’mon, let’s go back inside.”

“Okay.”

__________

Nova placed the mixing bowl in the sink and turned on the faucet. She reached into a drawer and grabbed a towel, placing it under the running water. The kitchen was a mess, although she had seen it in worse states. At least the ingredients were all stored away so that she could get started on wiping down the counters. Hugh and Simon were at headquarters for the day, as their presence was required for something Nova didn’t care enough to know about, and they figured it would be best to work from there instead of coming home. And, according to Simon, them being out in public and at headquarters would be good for publicity. It had been a while since they stepped into work, seeing as even the Renegades had to obey social distancing orders.

Point being, they were out of the house, so Nova could do whatever she wanted without questions being asked. And she had grown to appreciate baking during quarantine, among her long list of new and revisited hobbies. The Everhart-Westwoods always, to Nova’s surprise, had sweet tooths, so they never minded that Nova made a mess of their kitchen; it was just when Hugh or Simon entered the kitchen and started asking a bunch of questions that got on Nova’s nerves. Today, she could bake in peace.

Or so she thought.

“Mm. Smells good in here.” She looked up at her boyfriend, who just entered the room. He peeked at the oven. “Cupcakes?”

“Muffins,” Nova corrected, setting the used towel next to the sink. There was dried paint on his forehead, as well as on his hands. She had to shake her head. How was it possible to get so dirty? Well, she should speak for herself and her flour-covered apron.

“Oh, well, same thing.” He shrugged and grabbed a water glass from a cabinet.

Nova blinked and reached for the remote, which was sitting beside her, and paused the show she was watching on the kitchen’s small TV. “No. No not really.”

Adrian chuckled and nudged her lightly as he passed her to the fridge. “Yeah, kind of. The only difference is cupcakes have frosting.”

Nova scoffed. “The only difference? They’re two completely different things. That’s like saying ice cream and gelato are the same.”

Adrian turned to face her, leaning against the fridge. He took a sip of his water. “Ice cream and gelato are the same. One’s just claimed by the Italians.”

She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “Those aren’t the same, either, dumbass. Ice cream, clearly from its name, has more cream than gelato. And gelato’s more dense than ice cream. Those are just two differences.” She crossed her arms. “There are more.”

“And? What does that have to do with muffins and cupcakes?”

“Because they’re not the same.” Nova had to laugh at the absurdity of it all. And Adrian claimed he was a smart person. Yeah, maybe smart compared to sloths. “Muffins are considered a bread. Cupcakes are...well...cake. Two completely different recipes. You can’t just slap some frosting on a blueberry muffin and say it’s a cupcake. Maybe it looks like one, but the flavor and textures are way off.”

“They both are made the exact same way, babe. No difference.” With the way he was smirking, Nova had the thought that he could just be messing with her.

“Don’t ‘babe’ me.” She glared at him. “Fine. If you won’t believe me, the baker, then you don’t have to eat any of my muffins. Not cupcakes.”

He groaned and reached for her, but she dove out of his reach. “Nova, don’t be like this. I’m sorry. They’re not the same, okay? Happy?”

“Not until you’re honest.” She checked the timer above the oven. “I’m going downstairs for a minute.” Pointing a finger at him, she added, “Don’t mess with them. I’ll know.”

“Admitting defeat?” he called at her back.

“Hell no,” she tossed over her shoulder. “This conversation is far from over, buddy.”

She definitely heard him mutter rudely how he knew, but chose to ignore it. After all, she was the bigger person in the relationship.

__________

Adrian turned into a parking spot and turned off the car. He glanced over at Nova, who was giving him a very pointed look.

“The park? What did you plan? A picnic?” That was, in fact, the plan, but only part of it.

Leaning over, he planted a gentle kiss on her lips. It only softened the look a little. “You’ll see, nosey.” He unbuckled himself and opened the driver door. “Now, come on.”

She rolled her eyes, but got out as well. Seeing her in a pair of cutoff shorts and a simple t-shirt was refreshing, as she had been wearing sweats for the past two months, ever since the world was sent into quarantine. She and Adrian both had been dawning the same three pairs of pants and shirts for weeks now. But, this was the first time they both actually got out of the house, save for their daily walks or motorcycle/car rides, so it was only fitting to get dressed up for the occasion. And by dressed up he meant ditching the sweatpants.

Also, it was Nova’s birthday. Adrian hated that she was being forced to spend it unceremoniously, when so many of her birthdays had gone practically unnoticed growing up with the Anarchists, so he took it upon himself as her boyfriend to do what he could for her. And that meant having a socially distanced picnic in the park with their friends, who they hadn’t seen in person in months.

They walked down the sidewalk hand in hand, going into the grass whenever a biker or runner passed by them to maintain distance. Adrian almost wanted to pull his mask out from his pocket, but knew he was probably fine. Besides, if he put his mask on, Nova would follow, and he knew how much she hated wearing them, for obvious reasons. They were outside, and there were hardly any people in the park.

“You’re an idiot, Adrian Everhart,” Nova said once they could see their friends, but there was a smile on her face. They were all spread out on blankets, making a circle, and in the center sat an unoccupied blanket piled with food and gifts.

“Hey, I can’t take all the credit.” He squeezed her hand, grinning down at her.

“It’s about time you two showed up,” Oscar said, checking his watch. “We’ve been here for hours. We’re starving.” He stood and went to the middle to start making a plate. Adrian made a face at his back. He had specifically asked that they wait for Nova until they started eating in the group chat, so he guessed Oscar was holding his word. He waited, after all.

“Twenty minutes,” Danna corrected from her spot beside Narcissa. She looked at them and rolled her eyes. “Happy Birthday, Nova.”

Everyone chorused in their ‘Happy Birthdays’ and Nova thanked them as she and Adrian sat down on the one remaining blanket. “You guys didn’t have to go and do this for me.” She turned her gaze specifically toward Adrian. He raised his hands in defense.

“Blame Oscar for putting the idea in my head. All he ever talks about when we video call is how bored he is.”

“That’s true.” Nova shook her head in amusement. “This is very sweet, but don’t expect me to cry or anything.”

“You cried on your seventeenth birthday, and that’s enough for us,” Ruby teased.

“That was literally two years ago.” Nova ran a hand over her face. “It meant nothing.”

“Mhm,” was Ruby’s response, but Adrian could tell she wasn’t convinced. None of them were, obviously.

Nova peered at the food pile. “Is that Mediterranean pizza I see?”

“Yeah, and it’s all yours,” Oscar clarified, passing a plate he made for Ruby to her before sitting down himself. “I still don’t understand how you like that. There’s not even meat on it!”

“There’s also cannoli’s.” Adrian stood to go make them both plates. He knew that cannoli’s were one of the few desserts she liked, probably because they weren’t that heavy. “Do you want one or two?”

She pondered the question for a moment, then smiled at him. “Two.”

When he returned with their food, she leaned over and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“What was that for?” He handed her plate over.

“For being you, and for giving me the best birthdays ever.” She shifted her body to lean against him. “How’d you know I wanted to see everyone for my birthday, anyway?”

“Because I know you.” He kissed her forehead. “Happy Birthday, Nova.”

__________

Bonus crack scene:

“I would like to thank everyone for joining me today,” Nova said, swirling the water in the wine glass she snatched from the cabinet. Since Hugh wouldn’t let her drink actual wine, this was the next best thing. She cleared her throat. “I took it upon myself to observe the members of this household over the course of a week and rate everyone on their performances.” She pointed to the pyramid of papers set up on the wall, held there by type. There were pictures of everyone in the household behind a white sheet of paper. Starting at the bottom on the left side was the worst member, and the one at the top was the best. Why she decided to do this, she had little clue, but she figured it would be an entertaining activity to spice up everyone’s day.

“Is that what this is? I thought it was something actually serious.” Hugh leaned back, crossing his arms over his chest. There was a smile on his lips.

“It is serious.” She pointed her glass at him. The fast movement caused a bit of water to slosh over the side. “It has come to my attention that there are people in this household who have some improvement to work on if they want to move up next week.”

“If I’m not at the top, I’m breaking up with you,” Adrian joked, adjusting the glasses on his face. She narrowed her eyes at the camera he was pointing at her.

“I do not accept bribes.” Tearing off the first piece of paper, she began. There was a snicker, probably Max. “Hugh.” He immediately started protesting, but Nova silenced him. “No, no, no. You’re mean to me. Always looking to post up or some shit.”

“Language,” he warned, though his tone was light.

“Not to mention you don’t let me express my true self by cussing,” she added sharply. “Also, you tried to kill me three years ago and I’m sorry, but I just can’t forgive my haters like that. Try better next week, okay?”

“Hold on, wait a second.” Hugh held up a hand. “First of all, young lady, if you want to bring up the past, it goes both ways, but we’ve both changed for the be-”

“No comments at this time,” Nova interrupted. She ripped off the next sheet of paper. “Next up is Nova.” Laughter broke out in the room. Even she couldn’t help from smiling. “Not gonna lie, I held out hope for this one, but she’s got a lot of issues, if you know what I mean. Always picking an argument, refuses to participate in family activities, and is kind of just there. Doesn’t really do much of anything. The only reasons she’s above Hugh is because, for one, she’s far more attractive, and she bakes stuff for everyone.

“Adrian-”

“Oh, come on!”

“-you refused to cuddle with me yesterday and watch guilty pleasure movies because you said you were busy. You argued with me the other day on the validity of the Star Wars prequels and sequels.” She raised an eyebrow at him. “And you’re filming me without my consent. Other than those things, though,” she shrugged, “pretty cool boyfriend. You didn’t say anything when I stole one of your sweatshirts the other day, so that gets you some points.”

“Wait, the gray-”

“Max is next.” She tossed the white paper to the ground. “You never say anything mean to me, unlike some members in this household, but that could also be because you spend all day on video games. Because of that, I’m afraid you can’t be higher.”

“Hey, I’ll settle for third.” Max shrugged, grinning.

“And that’s why I like you!” She nodded firmly. “In second place, we have Simon. Who doesn’t like Simon? You always have something nice to say, and on occasion, you’ll back me up in an argument because you’re an intellectual. I always enjoy our deep conversations, too. Truly a wonderful person.”

“Thank you, Nova. I enjoy our talks, as well.” Simon chuckled. He looked pretty pleased to be on top.

“And that leaves us with,” she ripped off the last paper at the top, causing the room to erupt in laughter and clapping, “Obi Wan Kenobi. Truly an iconic and handsome man. Every time I watch Star Wars, he brings up my serotonin levels. Not just because he’s cute, but because he can land some sick burns.”

It was easy to say that, thanks to Adrian’s video, Nova started a trend all over the world.

#nova artino #adrian everhart #danna bell #oscar silva #ruby tucker #narcissa cronin #max everhart #hugh everhart #simon westwood #renegades #archenemies #supernova #supernova spoilers #my writing

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thebigpapilio · 5 years

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The Alphabet Ask Game’s Answers!

The Alphabet Ask Game I invented (reinvented?) has many answers waiting to be unveiled. You will find which metaphorical doors have been opened here...

You should look at the above link before making any requests. You will have to look up definitions for the words. Sorry...

UPDATE 7/7/19: From here, I might post one or two fic-recs for stated favorite characters.

UPDATE 7/14/19: Since I think this has died down, I’m just gonna fill in the rest day by day. If anyone volunteers another letter, I’ll throw in the daily one as an extra.

Let’s see how much we can do, everyone!

While I had many choices from Miraculous, I instead decided to go for a series close to my childhood’s heart - Alex the Lion (Madagascar). With the exception of Penguins of Madagascar, watching the movies has been a tradition on my mom’s side since the first one, so I thought this would be a nice pick! Known as the King of New York, Alex has gone on many adventures with his friends (NOPE). On those adventures, he has (NICE TRY), (HAHAHAH-NO), and eventually he (YEAH NO SPOILERS). Wait... if Alex is the King, and Spider-Man protects New York, does that make Spider-Man Alex’s Knight or something?

Headcanon based off “Abomasum” - All wielders of the Ox Miraculous have been able to swallow anything without throwing up immediately. That doesn’t mean they wouldn’t puke it out at all, though - it just means they are less likely to puke as quickly as a non-Ox wielder.

Story Idea based off “Au Courant” - Overwatch AU where the Slipstream came back, after Talon showed up but before Amelie’s kidnapping. It would feature her & Winston after she was found and fixed up with the Chronal Accelerator, with Winston catching her up on everything that has happened.

Is it that wrong that I would pick Gabriel Agreste/Collector/Hawkmoth (Miraculous Ladybug) as one of my favorites? I find his backstory interesting, and his powers even more so. While I do feel bad for him, I know that’s no excuse to do what he does. He not only fits my definition of spoiled but Einstein’s definition of insanity!

Headcanon based off “Greng-jai” - Marinette got herself into helping so many people all at once because Tom or Sabine got hurt - however big or small the resulting pain - in the bakery when she made a mistake of some sort, and she started being ultra-helpful to try and atone for it. Eventually, it turned into just how she is.

Story Idea based off “Goodfella” - Gabriel created his evil lair with the help of... illegal parties. How else was he supposed to keep the whole thing secret?

Makoto Niijima a.k.a. Queen (Persona 5) is one of the more “normal” members of the Phantom Thieves. Ever since she helped the team defeat a greedy mafia member called Kaneshiro with her newly awakened Persona Johanna - later Anat - Shujin’s School Council President has introduced many a villain to her spiked fists.

Headcanon based off “Manqué” - Nathalie’s a Hi-Po who could have become a lot more powerful in the fashion world - more than Gabriel - but her attraction to Gabriel holds her back. Gabriel knows this, and it scares him - until Mayura, it was the only reason he kept her around.

Story Idea based off “Meacock” - In which Adrien walks in on Nathalie’s secret stereotypically-girly side (writer picks the details) and gets her to be a bit more honest with herself. Bonus Points if there’s trans!Adrien. Extra Bonus Points if she reveals herself as Mayura.

It may not count like the others, but I chose to go with Jack Morrison a.k.a. Soldier:76. Overwatch’s fandom has many “family roles,” and Jack is the Team Dad. While I haven’t played in a long time, I recall him being the only former Offensive character who can heal others. Also, did you know Overwatch’s former Strike Commander has the middle name of Francis?

Headcanon based off “Sarmie” - Max is terrible at food prep other than slapping something in a microwave, but he makes a killer sandwich.

Story Idea based off “Sui Generis” - Adrien asks Plagg what made him special enough to be chosen. Bonus points for Gabriel angst.

I don’t want to repeat the same fandom too often, so for Y, I chose Yoshi (Super Mario Bros.). T. Yoshisaurus Munchakoopas (yes, that’s their full name) and their species have been helping the Mario Brothers since they were babies. They can swallow almost anything with their long tongue, and turn them into eggs for “ammo.” Speedy, sweet, and set with a stupendously-sized appetite for fruit, Yoshi will be your best friend when you need them. Just don’t let him run off the cliff, okay?

Headcanon based off “Yellowback” - Ohya has a successful side business writing fictional stories under the alias of Beelzebubbly. She had been considering quitting journalism to work on it the day Akira began a Social Link with her.

Story Idea based off “Ylem” - A fic on the composition of kwami and how it changed as new ones were created.

Valete, TheBigPapilio

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strangenormal · 6 years

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Cherry Bomb Part 4

Summary: You were Billy’s best friend when he lived in California. You lost touch not by choice. You never took the chance to share your feelings before he left. Will you take the chance now that you followed him all the way to Hawkins?

Billy x Reader/ POSSIBLE Steve x Reader

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters featured in strange things. Story will contain mature content as it progresses. Requester open & hope you enjoy. Image credit to original poster.

****BILLY’S POV****

I was dying waiting for y / n to say something, anything. I didn’t want her to not feel safe around me anymore or question if I was still a good person. Not that I hadn’t been questioning that myself lately, but it would absolutely kill me if she didn’t see me that way anymore. If she didn’t see me as someone redeemable. My life would be over if she saw me as the same as my dad. I didn’t dare move and I could feel my lungs starting to scream for air I was holding my breath waiting for her to say something.

She slowly and hesitantly placed her hand in mine and it did hurt that she seemed slightly fearful to touch me. I took a breath and lightly squeezed her hand and ran my thumb across the back of hers. The room was deafening in its silence, but I didn’t dare be the first to break it. I felt her thumb wipe away something wet from my face. I didn’t even realize I had started crying in my anguish. I looked at her to see the tears were falling down her face again as well. I cautiously reached to brush them away and she leaned into my touch.

“You can’t turn into your dad… I won’t let you… but if you… if you hurt me, I’m out.”

“Y/n, I could never-“

“You say that, and I WANT to believe it. I want to believe it so bad, but after what I just came from, you can understand me being cautious, can’t you?”

I hung my head, but she quickly lifted it back to look at her as she cupped my face in her hand while she held on tighter to my hand.

“The fact you still hurt, about all of it. It lets me know that you’re still in there. The Billy that would drive half way across the city to get me my favorite cookies after I had an extremely bad day is still in there. He just needs to not be afraid of coming out. You know you don’t HAVE to be an ass to keep yourself safe. If you were nicer, you’d probably have more people on your side ya know.”

I let out a light laugh as I pressed a kiss into her palm. I pulled her in close to me and held her to my chest. I couldn’t lose her again. I won’t allow it.

*** Your POV****

You felt torn. You knew “Your Billy” was in there somewhere, but how far down would you have to dig? How much crap would you have to go through to bring him back? You rested your head on his chest just enjoying laying with him like you used to. You wondered if he knew how much you love him. You always knew, but were afraid to admit because what if he didn’t feel the same? What if you lost your best friend because of it? You couldn’t risk losing him now that you had him back. But it was killing you not to say anything. You knew his ways of being with different females, not really caring about them, but trying filling this void. You wished you could be enough to fill that, but you hadn’t been so far, why would now be any different?

“What time is it?” He asked after you just laid together for some time.

“Almost 11. You wanna just stay the night?” You played with his necklace not wanting to look up as you knew he would have to go home. His dad wouldn’t allow him to be out ALL night.

“You know I want to.”

“I know.”

He held you tighter before he started to sit up. He held your face in both of his hands as he placed a light kiss to your lips.

“Goodnight y/n.”

“Night Billy.”

He started to make his way out your door, but suddenly turned back around to face you.

“You have any plans for tomorrow?” He asked with a smile on his face.

“Nope, I don’t start work at the clinic ‘til Monday officially, but I am on stand by in case of any emergencies.”

“Good. I’ll bring Max by tomorrow then. 9AM work for you?”

“Sounds perfect.” You couldn’t help the wide smile that spread across your face. You had missed that little punk.

“See you tomorrow y/n.” He quickly closed the distance between you and placed another chaste kiss on your lips before departing.

You went to bed happier than you had been in quite some time.

(The next day)

You made a light breakfast of pancakes, eggs, and bacon since you weren’t sure if they would have eaten already. You remembered Susan was pretty good about fixing meals for all of them. You didn’t much care for the woman and what she allowed Neil to get away with treating Billy the way that he did. You did understand her a little better and her meek demeanor after being in an abusive relationship yourself. But now you felt even more determined to not let Neil continue to hurt Billy. Neil already didn’t much care for you and you somewhat blamed yourself partially for them leaving. You would have Billy and Max at your place quite often, just so they wouldn’t have to be home. Your dad didn’t understand it and your stepmom had a crush on Billy. Billy never gave her the time of day, but it didn’t stop that despicable woman from pining over the buff young man. You couldn’t really blame her. You were disrupted from your thoughts by a knock on your door and hearing the muffled voice of Max wondering where the hell Billy had taken her. You opened the door and were charged by a head of red hair tumbling into you. You both held onto each other tightly happy to be reunited.

“What are you doing here?!” She asked with a huge grin on her face as she peeled back slightly to look up at you.

“I’m here for you two of course. Why else would I be stupid enough to give up Cali for Hawkins?” You let out a light laugh but couldn’t miss Billy’s face drop for a split second before he placed his smile back on his face.

“Did you fix breakfast?” Max asked upon smelling the food.

“Of course. I still need too you know. I wasn’t sure if Susan already made breakfast for you guys.”

“She had to work so she didn’t fix us anything.” Max replied as she made her way to the food on the table.

“Help yourself.” You chuckled at watching her pile the food onto her plate.

Billy came up behind you and placed his arms around your shoulders pulling your back against his chest.

“Are you happy?” He whispered into your ear.

You turned around in his arms with concern etched on your features as you placed your arms around the back of his neck. Max didn’t pay you two much mind. She was used to seeing you guys being affectionate and would always give you guys crap to just date each other already. If she only knew how it wasn’t THAT easy.

“What makes you ask that?”

“You did leave Cali and come here. I know you needed to get out for multiple reasons, but it’s not like you didn’t have family further north in Cali you could have stayed with instead of coming to this shit hole.”

You looked back at Max as she smiled at you taking another bite of pancake.

“I can’t think of anywhere else I’d rather be then right here, right now, with you- with you two.”

He smirked at your slipping over your words. He placed a kiss on your cheek, “Let’s eat.”

You were slightly taken aback by him only giving you a kiss on your cheek instead of a kiss on the lips like he had no problem doing yesterday. You weren’t going to read too much into it. Maybe he was just not wanting to be too affectionate in front of Max? Yeah, that had to be it.

You all enjoyed breakfast and then lounged around watching some movies on your couch. Max ended up falling asleep and you felt Billy poke you on your side. You turned your head to look at him and were surprised as he crashed his lips to yours. You reciprocated just as eager. You couldn’t get enough of this boy. He got up and took your hand pulling you up off the couch and started to lead you back to your bedroom. He gently laid you on your bed remembering about your ribs before he placed himself above you. He laid there just studying your features and you started to feel self-conscious.

“I don’t know how I never saw it before,” He said.

“What?” You asked looking into his ocean blue eyes.

“You have a grey hair near your forehead.” You shoved at him and let out a scoff at him.

“Ass”

“You love it.” You gulped questioning if you should say it. You decided against it and kissed him instead trying to convey your feelings within it.

He kissed you back and it felt different than before. It was filled with need, desire, a feeling of home, and dare you say it, love? You enjoyed your time exploring each other with your lips and hands, but not going further than that with Max right in the other room and you weren’t honestly ready for that just yet with Billy. You both must have dozed off because you were woken up by Max lightly shoving you.

“Y/n…y/n…we need to get home for dinner. Dad will be pissed if we’re not there.”

You stirred awake slowly and looked at the sleeping boy next to you. You hated to wake him, but knew Max was right. You couldn’t wait to take them both away from that man.

He may not have been violent to Max, but you knew it was only a matter of time. You stirred Billy awake and sent them on their way home.

You decided to tidy up a bit and take a nice warm bath before going to bed. Billy may not have been happy with his move to Hawkins, but you were happy with yours so far.

#billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove #billy hargrove fanfiction #billy hargrove imagine #stranger things fanfiction

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weekendwarriorblog · 4 years

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The Weekend Warrior Home Edition June 12, 2020 – THE KING OF STATEN ISLAND, DA 5 BLOODS, ARTEMIS FOWL, YOU DON’T NOMI and more!

Sorry about the delay in this week’s column. Some stuff came up that was out of my control… like the actual summer.

If this were a normal weekend, I’d be writing about the box office prospects about a few movies, including Judd Apatow’s new comedy THE KING OF STATEN ISLAND (Universal), which teams him with “Saturday Night Live’s” enfant terrible, Pete Davidson. Instead, I’m once again writing about movies mostly not playing in theaters except for a few sporadic drive-ins across the country.

I already reviewed The King of Staten Island earlier this week – you can read that here – and though I know it will be playing in some regional drive-ins, I have no idea how many nor do I think Universal will report any box office if it does make decent bank. I think there will be general interest among younger people who like Pete Davidson on SNL but I’m not sure anyone over a certain age, say 30 or 40, will have much interest in what Davidson and Apatow can do together. The general gist of the movie is that Davidson plays Scott, a Staten Island slacker whose widowed mother (Marisa Tomei) starts dating a fireman, much to the chagrin of Scott, who lost his fireman father at an early age. You can read my review to see what I think, but it’s relatively tame for Apatow compared to his earlier films. I’m not sure that makes it necessarily better but people seem to be digging it.

One of my favorite movies from last year’s Tribeca and what is essentially this week’s “Featured Film” is Jeffrey McHale’s YOU DON’T NOMI (RLJE Films), which takes an in-depth look at Paul Verhoeven’s 1995 movie Showgirls, thought to be one of the worst movies and biggest bombs in its day but also a movie that has grown a built-in cult audience that adores it. It’s a pretty straight-ahead doc that relies on a number of experts to discuss the problems and virtues of Verhoeven’s film, including David Schmader, who did the DVD commentary for Showgirls, and author Adam Nayman, who is responsible for the book, “It Doesn’t Suck: Showgirls.” While I never fell into either the love it or hate it camp for Showgirls, I love how McHale’s doc acts as a thesis piece to explain exactly why so many critics took issue with Verhoeven’s much-maligned follow-up to hits Basic Instinct and Total Recall.

I won’t spoil the movie’s climax showing Showgirls finally achieving redemption, but it’s a pretty amazing event from 2015 that shows that maybe Showgirls has gotten past the hatred and ridicule that followed it around for decades. If nothing else, You Don’t Nomi will make you want to rent and watch (or rewatch) Showgirls almost immediately after seeing it. You might even agree with this film that it’s a misunderstood masterpiece on second viewing.

I’ve also decided to scrap the sections in this column, since two of the other big movie releases this week are going straight to streaming services, although both would probably have gotten some sort of theatrical release if not for COVID.

One of the other major releases of the weekend is Netflix’s streaming of Spike Lee’s DA FIVE BLOODS, his look at the Vietnam War through the eyes of four black Army vets who return to the country to retrieve the body of their fallen comrade… as well as a cache of gold bullion they found and hid during their previous tour.

I’ll be the first to admit that the quality of Spike Lee’s filmmaking over the past couple of decades has been somewhat spotty at best, although BlacckKKlansman was probably one of his better films over the past couple decades. Da Five Bloods reunites Lee with his BlackkKlansman co-writer, Kevin Willmot, and though it’s a fictitious tale, there are a few themes and elements in common.

Delroy Lindo and Lee regular Isiah Whitlock Jr. star as two of the Bloods, Paul and Melvin (along with Clarke Peters’ Otis and Norm Lewis’ Eddie). We meet them as they’re reunited in Vietnam, soon joined by Paul’s son David (Jonathan Majors) along to keep an eye on his father’s health. Chadwick Boseman plays the group’s leader, “Stormin’ Norman,” in the flashback sequence to the war era showing what happened to the Bloods on the fateful day their chopper went down behind enemy lines. There are a few satellite characters, played by Mélanie Thierry and Paul Walter Hauser (making a return from BlackKklansman), as well as Jean Reno, Jasper Pääkkönen and Johnny Trí Nguyễn, who all become involved in the Bloods’ search for gold

When you think of Vietnam War movies, it’s impossible not to think of Apocalypse Now, and Lee throws in a few obvious nods, whether it’s using “Flight of the Valkyrie” or the Chamber Brothers’ “Time Has Come to Day” but in general, the musical choices are solid. I wouldn’t say that the screenplay is particularly enlightening, the story being far more simple than

Just when you have settled into what you think is a fairly laid-back pace, Lee throws a “Holy shit!” moment at you that completely changes the complexion of what you’ve been watching, and that’s when the movie starts breaking into a few more action setpieces, some better than others.

Honestly, it’s a little strange seeing all these old black guys running around and shooting guns without Samuel Jackson being among them. Make no mistake that this is first and foremost Delroy Lindo’s film, as he gives a strong if not somewhat erratic performance, and he’s the crux of the story, but Whitlock and the other actors have some nice moments, as well. The bonding between the four guys is pervasive, to the point where it almost feels like the other characters are interfering, maybe because they are.

It’s a great time to release Da 5 Bloods, due to what is going on in this country, and like with BlackKklansman, Lee throws in a few shots at Trump, the guys referring to him as “President Fake Bone Spurs.” At least in this case, it’s incorporated into the story, but I hope Lee realizes that these Trump references will ensure these movies will feel dated if watched ten or twelve years from now.

That all said, Da 5 Bloods is a decent Spike Lee Joint, maybe not quite on par with BlackkKlansman but better than his last attempt at a war movie, 2008’s Miracle at St. Anna.

Rating: 7/10

As expected by quite a few people earlier during this pandemic, Walt Disney Pictures decided to send the Kenneth Branagh-directed ARTEMIS FOWL movie directly to their Disney+ streaming service, despite the movie having been in various stages of development for a decade or more. Unlike Da 5 Bloods and The King of New York, this movie based on Eoin Colfer’s book series, is far more streamlined with a kid-friendly running time of 95 minutes. Phew!

It centers around 12-year-old super-genius Artemis Fowl (Ferdia Shaw) whose father (also named Artemis Fowl and played by Colin Farrell) goes missing, forcing the young “Artie” to look for a powerful mystical device called the Aculos. Joining him on this quest are his non-butler Domovoi (Nonzo Anonsie), Dom’s daughter Juliet (Tamara Smart), an elven police officer named Holly Short (Lara McDonnell) and an oversized dwarf played by a bearded Josh Gad. Oh, yeah, and in this world, fairies, trolls and dwarves are real, but most humans don’t know about their existence due to their secrecy as well as having a way to erase humans’ memories ala Men in Black.

I’m quite sure the latter will be a qualifying benchmark for those who review the movie without having read any of Colfer’s fantasy series – like myself -- but it takes similar ideas as David Ayer’s Bright and the Amazon series Carnival Row and transforms them into something that attempts to be in the vein of Harry Potter or Fantastic Beasts but maybe comes across more like Percy Jackson. The irony is that Chris Columbus directed the initial chapters of both Potter and Jackson, but Artemis Fowl benefits from having Branagh at the helm.

I will freely admit that I’m very much a bonafide Branagh stan, and much of that is due to the way he’s handled bringing fantasy worlds to life in movies like Thor and Cinderella. Artemis Fowl is right up his alley, and he does an exemplary job even if most of his cast other than Gad… oh, yeah, and Dame Judi Dench, who plays the head of the “fairy police” – are fairly inexperienced. You can kind of tell that’s the case with first-timer Shaw, and his inexperience might be one of the tougher things for which older viewers might have to contend. Younger viewers won’t take issue with any of the problems that might throw off those expecting more from Artemis Fowl, because the storytelling is kept at a fairly brisk pace with a few decent action setpieces.

Artemis Fowl could have been released theatrically and been one of the summer’s sadly forgotten films. It finds a fun way of setting up the characters and ideas – presumably most of them taken directly from Colfer’s book – plus it sets up the possibility for even more fun family-friendly fantasy storytelling.

Rating: 7.5/10

There are a few other movies below I was hoping to get to, but see my note at the top of this column about why it was delayed by a day. If I get to any of the ones below, I’ll update and mention on social media.

One of the movies delayed from March but now getting a digital release is Carl Hunter’s drama SOMETIMES ALWAYS NEVER (Blue Fox Entertainment) -- not to be confused with Never Rarely Sometimes Always with the two movies at one point in danger of coming out on the same weekend! It stars Bill Nighy as tailor Alan, who has been searching for years for his missing son Michael, who stormed out after a Scrabble Game. When a body turns up, Alan must try to work things out with his younger son Peter, played by Sam Riley, and an online player they think could be Michael.

Jonas Alexander Arnby’s Danish film EXIT PLAN (Screen Media) stars Nikolaj Coster-Waldau from Game of Thrones playing insurance claims investigator Max, who follows the clues of a death to the remote Hotel Aurora, a facility that specializes in assisted suicide, uncovering some disturbing revelations in the bargain.

Joshua Caldwell’s INFAMOUS (Vertical Entertainment), which will be available via VOD and in select Virtual Cinemas, stars Bella Thorne as Arielle, a down-on-her-luck dreamer seeking popularity who runs into Jake Manley’s Dean, an ex-con working for his abusive father who dies in an accident sending the two of them on the run.

The dance drama, Aviva (Outsider Pictures/Strand Releasing), directed by Boaz Yakin (Remember the Titans, Max), was supposed to premiere at the SXSW Film Festival in March, but it will instead get its premiere through Virtual Cinema this Friday. It’s a love story that explores gender dynamics with dance sequences choreographed by Bobbi Jene Smith of the Batsheva Dance Company. Aviva is a young Parisian who gets into an online romance with a New Yorker named Eden, eventually meeting and getting married with the story told by four different dancers/actors simultaneously.

I haven’t had a chance to watch Flavio Alves’ The Garden Left Behind, starring Michael Madsen and Ed Asner, but it was a winner of the Audience Award at the 2019 SXSW Film Festival, so I’m definitely interested in learning more about its story of a young trans woman from Mexico who lives with her grandmother as undocumented immigrants in New York City.

Released in a union between Shudder and RLJE Films, The Dead Lands (Shudder/RLJE Films) hit Digital HD yesterday. The supernatural fantasy set in New Zealand is co-directed by Peter Meteherangi Tikao Burger and Michael Hurst, and it stars Te Kohe Tuhaka as Waka, a murdered Maori warrior who has returned from the Afterlife who goes on a quest with with a young woman named Mehe (Darneen Christian) to discover who broke the world. Not quite sure why didn’t get to this one, as I’m usually interested in New Zealand-based films as well as supernatural fantasy.

Daniel (For the Bible Tells Me So) Karslake’s new doc For They Know Not What They Do (First Run Features), which will hit virtual cinemas this Friday, which looks at the intersection between religion, sexual orientation and gender identity in America through a number of families of faith learning to accept their LGBTQ children. It has pretty much run the festival circuit through most of last year, winning a number of audience awards.

Coming to the Film Forum’s Virtual Cinema this Friday is Bill Duke’s 1985 directorial debut The Killing Floor and Alastair Sim’s 1954 schoolgirl romp, The Belles of St. Trinian’s. Uptown at Film at Lincoln Center, besides the Human Rights Watch Film Festival (see below), they’ll be debuting Hong Sangsoo’s 2014 film Hill of Freedom (Grasshopper Films) in their already quite robust Virtual Cinema.

A few other films I wasn’t able to get to this week, include Return to Hardwick (Gravitas Ventures) and The Departure (October Coast), so I guess I did better than last week?

A few film festivals taking place mostly virtually this week include the annual New York edition of the Human Rights Watch Film Festival, running from June 11 through 20, and the Fine Arts Film Festival in Venice, California (June 8 to 14). The latter is offering 92 films from 27 countries with different packages including the entire festival for $20 or individual series for $10. Also, the Oxford Film Festival continues its virtual festival with two music docs, Dillon Hayes’ short All I Have to Offer You is Me about country-Western singer Larry Callies, as he tries to get his voice back after a degenerative disorder, and Dennis Cahlo’s feature In Flowers Through Space, in which the filmmaker tries to use the Fibonacci Sequence to try to create a unique music album. You can also check out Ben & Bo Powell’s Mississippi doc Nothin’ No Better about Rosedale, Mississippi, and more short blocks, all available on Oxford’s Virtual Site.

Also, the June episode of Hulu’s horror series “Into the Dark” is Good Boy, a movie directed by Tyler MacIntyre, starring Judy Greer, Steve Guttenberg and Ellen Wong (from Scott Pilgrim!) that has Greer adopting an emotional support dog that kills anyone who causes her anxiety. Just in time for Pet Appreciation Week! Yeah, I’m gonna have to see this one.

Next week, more movies (mostly) not in theaters!

By the way, if you read this week’s column and have bothered to read this far down, feel free to drop me some thoughts at Edward dot Douglas at Gmail dot Com or drop me a note or tweet on Twitter. I love hearing from readers … honestly, I do!

#TheWeekendWarrior #ArtemisFowl #DaFiveBloods #SpikeLee #Movies #Reviews #YouDontNomi #Streaming #thekingofstatenisland

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