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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 6 months

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Collection of edits from this comic with Disco Elysium dialogue.

#What do I even tag this #mdzs #mdzs disco elysium au #There are so many line that work very well for them. Alas I was constrained by the panels I had.#So many hbd and kim conversations fit the wangxian dynamic its unreal.#Once again I am politely holding out Disco Elysium as a recommendation: So long as you are aware of it's content and warnings.#It is truly one of the most hopeful games about trauma and despair. It is hilarious in a way that frames the tragedy perfectly.#Be warned that it is a dark and heavy read. But it is truly a life changing experience.#It helped my get out of a bad place in realizing how much I was hurting myself by trying to hold onto the past and regrets.#Go in as blind as you can. If you are ready for it - you will not regret playing this game.#In other news...yeah okay so I meant to spend the rest of my saturday drawing more pd-mdzs #Then I started watching Link Click.... oops where did the time go?#Permit me another day of stalling and I will have comics coming soon. Might sprinkle some LC doodles in the mix too.

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awakenmiamor · 2 months

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You herd john’s sheep ONCE (1) and he begins to call you sunshine

#arthur morgan #john marston #red dead redemption 2 #arthur actually reflected on that nickname for a while in his head (i live inside his brain)#absolutely no one talk abt me tripping in the beginning i am not doing this quest again to record that #also my beautiful horse has been through stuff its not naturally grey and white....#john: come on SUNSHINE #arthur: 😳#john: after you SIR #arthur: 😳😳#<- that but in his head cause he’d never react that way in front of jawn #not in front of ch2 john at least🧑‍🔬#🦌🐺#lol ik its not that big of a deal but he used these one after another whats this sudden nickname urge in him.

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blighted-lights · 2 months

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do you ship ravage and drift? you draw them a lot and they're always so touchy lol

nah. they're really touchy amicas, tho. probably because im always touchy with my friends and it just kinda rubs off on my art. ravage is my Me character so i do end up giving him traits i have. one of those is being touchy with people he cares about 🤷‍♂️. he's especially touchy with drift as when they were grouped together in the dead end (which is where they met in my brain), ravage spent a lot of hours curled up in drift's car alt with laserbeak and buzzsaw for shelter. that touchy aspect never really left their dynamic.

and besides,

drift/deadlock's candle has always been lit for someone else.

(plus an extra doodle of them)

#ask: anon #tf art #transformers #more than meets the eye #transformers art #maccadams #maccadam #blight rambles #drift | deadlock #drift #ravage #tf ravage #transformers ravage #mtmte #transformwrs idw #not gonna go all out on tags here #my art #good rule of thumb for me is that unless it is specifically tagged as ship then its not ship #not much of a transformers romance person in general #like there are exceptions and i DO enjoy tf ships. i am actively encouraging ppl to ask about em/about my opinions on ur otps #but my rav and drift are amicas #very TOUCHY amicas. i draw them touching a lot bc i think theyd be pretty physically affectionate with one another #they hug. they cuddle. drift carries ravage occasionally. they speak through hand simply just to feel the contact. ravage puts all his #weight on drift on bad pain days. drift does the same for him. its a big part of their dynamic. its the Trust that comes with that touch #theyre sparkbonded to each other as amicas too. like these two cant really get closer. but its not a romantic dynamic 🤷‍♂️#i cant stop you from seeing it that way and. im not gonna try lol. but anon asked so i figured id answer and talk a bit more about em #idk rambling in the tags

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goodcastlegazette · 10 months

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ep 9 of the fireside chat hit me upside the head into the astral realm and I saw her say this

#worlds beyond number #suvirin kedberiket #speaking of sitcom lines that go harder than a mofo #suvi the wizard #ame the witch #god the constant self assurance and endless answers #and the INSOLENCE #I gotta make another post about the ancient ways and how the trio handle them #but ughhhh Suvi you are beautifully frustrating #and all of this is going to come crashing down #are you going to get crushed?#or help your friends pick up the pieces?#wbn pod #fireside chat #the wizard the witch and the wild one

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designernishiki · 10 months

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it’s kinda funny to me how that dumb scene in kiwami 1 of majima getting shot and left for dead in the harbor was basically just added as a half-assed way to explain majima not being around for a bit of the plot, but they accidentally(?) just made it seem like start of a chain reaction where majima ended up feeling slighted and heartbroken after being abandoned like that and then lashed out about it via smashing a big truck into the building kiryu was in. and yeah that isn’t inherently a romantic thing as-is but then they go and add the part where majima grabs a hostess and performatively hits on her as in-kiryu’s-face as possible, she says she’s already in love with someone, and majima lets her go immediately, no questions asked, making a big fucking point of it just to say see THAT kiryu? I appreciate when people are HONEST about their FEELINGS. people who won’t just BACKSTAB someone who CARES about them to save themselves. is that so crazy kiryu?? huh??? anyway make it up to me get down here and fight me right fucking now

#I think on another level he was sorta saying like ‘hey kiryu. you’re making it extremely clear that you don’t trust me and my intentions #and I’ve been trying to show you- over and over again- that I’d do just about anything for you and your safety #but I can’t just let my mask fall off in front of everyone- I need to keep up the unpredictable morally grey wildcard act for both my sake #AND yours. because disguising my helping you as crazy random violent outbursts and weird stalker behavior #is the only way I CAN help you. do you think it would go over well with shimano or literally anyone else if I was outright helping you out #of the kindness of my heart and fondness for you? stop being so fucking dense and look past the crazy wacky nonsense for a second and #maybe you’ll realize that all I do at the end of the day- really- is help you and put my own life and reputation on the line for you.#I am an honest guy when it comes to my real values and when I told you I wouldn’t let anyone kill you unelss it was myself- I meant it.#I’ve taken a knife and a bullet for you now. can you REALLY not see through the act yet? am I REALLY that unpredictable when you think about #it?’#that was a longer explanation than i intended but. it was difficult to put into words #I basically feel like it could be read as him implying kiryu shouldn’t backstab the people who put themselves on the line to help him #and/or pointing out that he’s never actually done kiryu dirty and has stuck to his word protecting him in the ways he can #trying to say yeah all this is a crazy act and all but when it comes down to it you Can trust me #it really makes sense when you think about it that he’d have to help kiryu/show affection towards kiryu in unpredictable convoluted ways #at that point in time because. I mean. there’s a reason he was the only person who showed up to welcome kiryu when he got out of prison #and that’s because A) he sticks to his word and his loyalty to people he cares about and B) no one else had the balls or the batshit insane #mask to wear to ward off anyone asking real questions like majima did. because ANYONE associating themselves with the supposed #patriarch-killer was a HUGE NO-NO at the time. someone important showing up for kiryu and welcoming him back outright could’ve caused #all-out warfare probably. except majima. because majima was dedicated and smart enough to use his widely-feared wildcard persona #(that everyone tended to view as incapable of having any Real agenda to worry about) to his And kiryu’s advantage #does that make sense??? I feel like it makes a lot of sense if you get it to click in your head #kazumaji #majima #kiryu #yakuza #kiwami 1 #yk1 #rambling

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quarks-pussy · 7 months

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So I know we here at Startrekfandom love that "came back wrong but from the pov of the wrong" thing and apply it to many different characters and canon situations and I am far from trying to complain about it (I'm "came out wrong" trope myself so I was always gonna obsess over it) but having recently watched a very important episode (you'll know which one) for the first time I think there's a character who hits both tropes mentioned but llike, intertwined, opposite and subverted, and whom I wanna talk about.

Julian Bashir.

From his parents' pov he's "came out wrong but we got him help and he came back better" while from his own pov it's "came out 'insufficient', was destroyed for it, came back wrong and only later slowly came to terms with his new self tho never the process (justifiably so)" and it's heartbreaking because in a way, he's right! Jules Bashir died! His parents had an intellectually disabled child and decided to eugenics him! Julian is not the person he used to be and while I do love the person he is now, that doesn't bring back who he was! Part of me wishes we could've gotten to see Jules at least once and part of me hopes we never do because my heart would shatter.

This isn't a good comparison but nonetheless one I can't help drawing: it's giving similar vibes to anti-vaxxers. "I'd rather risk having a child who is dead than one who's autistic". Obviously this doesn't map over since Julian is still autistic and the procedure his parents subjected him to specifically targeted his intellectual disability and if any folks with id wanna comment on this I definitely recommend you listen to them over me, but it's a similarity I, as an autistic who has encountered anti-vaxxers again and again, can't help but point out. "Give me a normal child or give them death."

This may have been written about already but there needs to be stories about teenage Julian (after finding out and rediscovering who he was) practicing some good ol' recognition of the self through media. I need to hear about how he would encounter a story about someone who came back wrong (I'm gonna assume there's plenty of "wrong" pov stories floating around by the 24th century) and absolutely weep. I need to see Julian mourning Jules, taking years and years to process his feelings, experiencing guilt about how he, the imposter, didn't deserve to live Jules' life.

Came back wrong from the returned's pov but it wasn't an accident. It was done to you deliberately by the people who claim to love you. And now you are here, piloting the corpse of your predecessor.

Jules Bashir is dead. Long live Julian Bashir.

#i've called julian jules before simply as a normal nickname but i don't think i ever will again. not after this #and knowing that if it had been possible i would have probably gone the way jules did. knowing that at his age i would have gone willingly.#fuck dude i am literally actually crying literal tears irl right now this is not a joke #fuck!!!!!#julian bashir #jules bashir #doctor bashir i presume #came back wrong #star trek deep space nine #HE WAS SIX YEARS OLD!! HE WAS SIX YEARS OLD AND THEY KILLED HIM!!!!#i cannot stop crying i am literally crying and like not even just a little #i cannot... poor julian how the FUCK do you ever come to terms with something like that #and like... julian remembers. he has most if not all of jules' memories and also knows he was murdered simply for not being julian #like how did he cope #(im about to go off on a tangent that will contain censored names for the sake of not clogging those tags if you dont know who i mean hmu)#like this is literally the thing that fucked up j*ran so bad he went on a murder spree isn't it #he remembers the one who came before who was killed. very different circumstances of course esp since tr*ll are expected to replace one ano #another but he remembers this person he remembers BEING this person who was young and simply enjoying life and who died a sudden death and #he remembers the experience of that death as well and how it lead to his own creation. it's not remotely similar ofc but considering that #the only time we see t*rias in alpha canon is in julian's body... i need to lie down for a moment.#and jor*n couldn't cope! he couldn't! it was far too much and the weird thing is right now in this moment i GET it y'know?? like that's #so horrific. and i haven't watched any jo*an episode besides facets yet but do you think. do you think j*dzia told julian about all this an #he nodded along and kept composure and then when he was alone he broke down crying? like julian you're doing SO well ily you're coping and #you shouldn't have to obviously but you do nonetheless!! do you think julian still has something from jules? like i've heard there's a tedd #but i mean jules prolly didn't keep a diary he was a six year old with an intellectual disability it's pretty unlikely he could write but #does julian have drawings made by jules? i'd like to think so but honestly his parents probably threw them out. like they also moved so #sorry i'm just. many thoughts head full. ive stopped crying now but who knows for how long. also i'll have to tag this with my original tag #maybe i should've picked something less silly for when i make serious posts but like what am i gonna change my url as well? don't think so #original posts fresh from quark's pussy #and thats the tag limit folks it's been fun. i had to delete two other tags but my god. anyway. thinking about jules bashir forever & cryin

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ride-a-dromedary · 1 month

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the darkest of nights, in truth, still dazzles.

a halsin fanmix [listen]

#BG3 Musing #BG3 Fanmix #Halsin BG3 #Halsin #Halsin Posting #my fanmix #i give up this is about as done as it will ever be - i've been talking about this enough i need to get it away from me #i could have made at least one or two other playlists with the number of songs i cut from this #there were some things that hurt me to cut but i figured others had them in their playlists so they're out there #(the impossible dream you will always be famous i am so sorry :(()#i had three goals with this 1. make it more of a timeline in that it follows a narrative order (which hopefully is easy enough to follow)#(it makes sense to me about as much as it is ever going to lol)#2. try to avoid using songs that other individuals have used in their playlists (with a handful of exceptions - i highly encourage you also #take a listen to the others around! lots of good stuff and i figured if you were missing it from this one you can find another with it)#(and if i did use one the context might be different #'closer here is being used in a different way than i usually see it - it's putting more emphasis on the 'you can have my isolation' bit use #in context of the matron and patron for example)#and 3. focus as much as possible on non-romance path elements of halsin's character - i.e. again that's a topic that is highly explored #in other fanmixes to great success - this one is about the childhood he references and the adventures and the capture in the underdark #and the shadow curse and the burying of people he loved and the uptaking of the archdruid position and the healing he did #and possibly did not do #and the radicalization he comes into when his goals are met and he's faced with injustices #and the struggle he has of redefining himself and figuring out who he is after all of it #hopefully the 'eras' are clearly defined but hey it's all gravy from here #honestly if there is one song to listen to that encapsulates halsin for me it's tapestry - highly recommend that #anyway i am blabbing - let the lyrics and such talk for themselves jemi please #but if fanmixes aren't your speed have a kinda nice edit i guess #edit: now with bonus song i just had to add after shamefully forgetting it

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blueskittlesart · 1 year

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profs will set the due date for the final as april 24 and then STILL NOT HAVE THE FUCKING ASSIGNMENT UP TO SUBMIT THE PAPER BY 11PM ON APRIL TWENTY FUCKING THIRD

#ALEC. BESTIE. PLEASE. I AM BARELY PASSING YOUR CLASS AS IT IS I NEED YOU TO WORK WITH ME HERE #i feel the need to explain the level of bullshit that has been going on with this particular final actually because holy shit.#he first told us about it about 3 weeks ago which. fine. but all he said was 'you will have to pick a topic and write a paper'#like nothing about what the topic should relate to how the paper should be organized word count etc. literally nothing #radio silence for 2 weeks. we all forgot about it. then out of the blue 'btw your papers are due in a week lol!'#so we all scramble to figure out what the hell the assignment actually is #come to find out he never actually posted the assignment brief on canvas as an assignment. the only way we can access it is via a pdf #linked in ANOTHER UNRELATED ASSIGNMENT.#the project brief in question describes several in-class activities we straight up have not done.#no one actually knows if it's really due tomorrow or next week because he keeps pushing shit back and DOESNT ANSWER EMAILS #but the date on the syllabus is the 24th. and there is still nowhere online where we can submit our papers at all.#jesus fucking christ in heaven #personal #he is going to be getting a. shall we say INTERESTING professor review from me. lmao

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tswwwit · 9 months

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I know Bill's the big bad demon everyone is afraid of and he will protect his husband at all costs (when no one's looking), but I think it's also worth mentioning that Dipper, even being the dorky, squishy human that he is, also cares about his dumb demon hubby and wants to keep him safe, even if it annoys Bill, and really, he doesn't need protecting the way Dipper does. He isn't going to puff out his chest and get in someone's face like some macho man, but I think Dipper knee-jerk reaction when Bill's in "danger" isn't to just shrug because he's an all-powerful demon who can handle it. If a blast that could level a whole town was aimed at Bill's head (for him, this just means a bad hair day and a new body), Dipper's immediate impulse is to push him out of the way or defend him against whatever wants to kill his familiar. Because he's not thinking "Bill could literally end this match in .3 seconds." He's thinking "if you touch even one hair on that asshole's head, I'm going to knock yours clean off your shoulders." I don't know what the point even is in this post, just that Dipper is this nerdy, unassuming guy who ends up being viciously protective under the right conditions. Like I think Dipper pulls off the bloody and vengeful look SO well that Bill immediately melts and just lets him handle the situation, even though it's not really Dipper's fight to begin with. He's beating the guy to a pulp with zero reserve, and Bill's off to the side swooning and twirling his hair over his man for getting his hands dirty for him.

It's true! While Bill's not the type to enjoy being underestimated, he has to admit! Seeing his adorable husband all riled up on his behalf is a hell of a sight.

The thing is, Dipper's a good guy! He can't help but put himself in danger over others. Even when all reason and logic say that Bill would be absolutely fine if he got his head exploded or a shiv in his kidney, Dipper's instinct is to fully and immediately get in the way of that. To, in fact, be protective.

Mostly this is only evident when Dipper has to stand up to Ford. Yes, yes, Bill's a vile horrible monstrosity, but he didn't do that particular thing you're accusing him of. Watching him stand up to his uncle is a particular treat!

For bigger threats, though - Well. Bill's gonna be absolutely fine, no matter what happens, thank you very much. But he's definitely not opposed to seeing some guy who was about to literally stab him in the back get a few of his teeth knocked out.

#answers #Dipper doesn't like seeing his husband get hurt. Yes Bill likes pain and all but only contextually. And he's immortal.#But Dipper can't help but cringe and wince on his behalf anyway. He talks a lot of shit but he really does love his bastard husband #When it comes to most of the the Ford situations #Bill gets to have fun with those #Dipper's ready to argue on Bill's behalf. Most times. Yes a little head-explodey doesn't keep Bill down but Dipper is NOT a fan #Catch Bill standing just behind Dipper - or even leaping up into his arms and nearly making him topple over -#Only to look very self-satisfied. Going :3 'yes I am babey'#Looking like the perfect innocent cherub he absolutely isn't gets on Ford's nerves in a HUGE way #Both super obnoxious AND it makes his mortal roll his eyes at him. SO fun!#For other times he gets defended it's Bill's turn to roll his eyes #But goddamn if it isn't cute as hell. PLUS it's one of the rare times he actually sees Dipper really riled up #Not in like a flustered argumentative type of way. In an actual Fuck You You're Going Down kinda way #Real stupid that Dipper keeps doing this. But real hard to oppose it when Bill gets such a view outta it!#Also concept: Dipper trying to shield Bill while he's in his real form and feeling a moment of 'oh no' when he fails #Only for like. The knife to go 'tink' off his surface. Bill looks unimpressed #Another reminder for Dipper that yeah okay Bill can handle himself. He feels pretty dumb about it #That's okay DIpper you mean well! Bill will still smooch you for trying #APPROVED.jpeg implied but not included due to me adding too much text

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doctorweebmd · 25 days

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being a tomura fan is so rewarding. Every one of his designs is top tier. Thank you Horikoshi

#skinny greasy gamer boy check #slightly more deranged long haired king? check #buff bitch with thighs that can crush a man’s head and a cunty red cape? check #long hair Jesus-like character destroying the world in his wake check #monstrous amalgamation of limbs check #baby you want to hug and protect from the world CHECK #hello I am thinking about tomura shigaraki today #by the way there is no way he’s dead. like. thematically it makes no sense in the story.#he’s gonna come back one way or another and show #that he does have control of his life by helping wreck afo #now whether Horikoshi will keep him alive after the war….#the classic answer is ‘villain redeems himself by doing something heroic and then dying’#I’m hoping he doesn’t take that route because it’s a little played out #that said they’re like…. all going to jail if they live so….

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corfisers · 5 months

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i really need to finish this one day

#one of my fave ideas but i keep getting stuck or starting over. third time's the charm hopefully #anyways. posting it as an excuse to rant because i'm losing my mind over this rn for no reason #incoherent but i just need to Talk or my brain won't shut up #you ever think about how fucked up it is that aoi feels guilty over what happened. i do. i think about her a lot #he can't even look at me. we aren't even blood related but he still had to go to jail because of me. i still love him #in reality none of it is her fault. it shouldn't be about doumeki in the first place. baby girl you were 15 when it happened.#you can say that yashiro is cruel in his dismissiveness (on the surface) of doumeki's trauma but you can see where he's coming from #you got a glimpse of what your sister was going through? of what i went through? and now you're sooo guilty over it? and who does it help?#doumeki's so focused on his own feelings that he ignored aoi when they were living together. “saves” her by pure chance #proceeds to focus on his guilt and ignore her again. if yashiro didn't get involved she'd be sitting in the rain for god knows how long #yet she still loves and to some degree idolizes him #yashiro and aoi both saying that doumeki isn't the type of person to be a yakuza too. doumeki's good doumeki's better than that #and then ch 24 happens. where yashiro says that he's going to throw up and doumeki's response is “i probably won't stop even if you do”#“guess i am like my father after all” and yashiro still goes “you're not. you're pure and im the problem”#(touches doumeki's face. rare gentle gesture. he's gentle afterwards too before leaving. man.)#he's not cruel enough to repeat what he said in the earlier conversation and he doesn't actually believe it anyway #but i wish yashiro was cruel there. it shouldn't have been about doumeki and his feelings. again.#something about yashiro throwing a knife at another person and it flying back at him huh #for all the talk about how doumeki supposedly romanticizes yashiro it really is the other way around. always has been #which is a whole other conversation but yeah. everything about aoi and yashiro in relation to doumeki makes me so fucking sad #but this is also what i mean when i say that aoi doesn't haunt the narrative per se but still has this weird presence?#she's in the parallels. she's in the brief but important mentions. she's in the “your sister was lucky she had you”.#wips tag

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braisedhoney · 2 years

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I don’t know if you’re still doing the prompt thing but something with engineer!mark would be cool — if genres could be a part I’m a sucker for a hurt comfort or happier stuff in general lol but all your stuff looks cool so i’ll like it either way!!

But I’m really not lying, when I say that I don’t mind going down with you.

The only person I trust more than myself, is The Captain.

This is a little more hurt than comfort, not gonna lie to you friend. But!! I do have a happy Mark and Captain sharing a pizza up on my blog, so uhh.. consider the prompt filled? I think? :’D

#Seriously thank you guys sm for all the awesome ideas #I’m such a sucker for like #small forms of casual affection or endearment #like all the little fist bumps or the tiny coffee cup cheers #or the pats on the shoulder #just like casual shit that shows people care about one another in little ways #so obviously the dynamic between these two is the only thing I live for rn /lh #*rubs hands together* alright here come the tags #in space with markiplier #in space with markiplier spoilers #in space with markiplier 2 #in space with markiplier 2 spoilers #iswm #iswm 2 spoilers #head engineer mark #y/n the captain #I should make a separate tag for my comics so people can look for either my art in general or like the comic stuff only #bc I apparently make a lot of comics #rip my hands ig #ALSO I am slowly getting better at drawing Mark I think #Wanna make him look recognisable lol #three days in a row of posting holy shit #no clue how I managed that tbh #markiplier #ney's art #ney's chatter (ask answers)#iswm captain

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skitskatdacat63 · 1 year

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2009 Bahrain Grand Prix - Jenson Button(ft. Sebastian Vettel & Jarno Trulli)

#note: do not lay on your side while watching a race when you are already eepy #its not even that its boring its just that the V8 engines are soothing and i was so eepy when i watched the first half of this race #i had to pause it and come back bcs i kept 'resting' my eyes #but omg im still reeling over jenson's overtake on lewis in the first lap IT WAS SO FUCKING SMOOTH SO GOOD #jenson is so fine i am obsessed with him #someone in my tags of another 2009 post mentioned how empty the brawn suits are and youre so right!!#^ but i love the way theyre designed very sleek and cool i love the color pallet #i like 2009 a lot so far as a season bcs even if i havent fully watched 2008 its still so apparent how much the board has been reshuffled #i just am love this era sooooo much i love the cars and the grid is full of so many iconic drvers #jenson button #jb22 #brawn #sebastian vettel #sv5 #jarno trulli #2009 bahrain gp #2009 bahrain grand prix #f1 #formula 1 #formula one #we do a little bit of f1 #sebson #(2009: 4/17 races watched)

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aureentuluva70 · 9 months

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While I love the whole "kind individual and traumatized individual" relationship dynamic I do admit I have my problems with it, but that's mostly with how people write the characters, not the trope itself.

My problem with it is that the "ball of sunshine", as said character is often referred to, seemingly only exists to revolve around and be the salvation of the other character. Most of the time, we know little about their life outside of their relationship with the other person, and that annoys me to no end. Why? Because it strips away all possible nuance and depth that character could have had and gives it to the other character, dumbing them down into an often goofy, sometimes even naive individual only there for the sake of an entertaining relationship dynamic.

And this is coming from someone who does like the trope; I think it can be profound and beautiful when written correctly, but so many people hand all the great characterization over to only one character while almost entirely leaving out the other and it doesn't have to be that way. Let them both be great characters both together and on their own!

#may or may not be focusing on a certain gold-braided noldorin prince from the silmarillion #and his friendship with a certain red haired feanorian #am i saying this partly because russingon is one of my Notp's? probably.#BUT i am genuinely tired of the way the “sunshine boi” is often treated when it comes to that relationship dynamic #fanon luke skywalker often comes to mind as an unfortunate victim of this too #like. i love good relationship dynamics in fiction. i'm sure we all do.#but when you allow your view of a character to be built solely around their relationship with another character #that's just boring #tropes #storytelling #characters

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chilapis · 7 days

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I think every moment is eternal in its own right and we hold no authority to deny it that status. Even if it is a forever that will escape our memories, it’ll still exist as a forever in the history of time. In the memories of no-one but the Earth itself. In the records kept and made by no-one, where everything is stored for all time to come. No love is lost and no existence truly unacknowledged.

#even the moment that one may spare to read this post; it’ll be a second dedicated forever in the records of time just to this simple post.#fleeting moments of attention and acknowledgement that aren’t so fleeting at all because they still existed and still do in a way.#it is tragic that we must associate a certain event to a date for it to become a joyous occasion. there’ll never be another 1/5/24.#is that not enough for it to be special itself?#one may argue that they have nothing to remember random days by and that is true.#but not every moment of delight and pleasure is to be remembered I think. to be entirely honest with you I barely hold any memory of #literally anything prior to 2022 perhaps.#but that doesn’t mean that those moments didn’t exist or don’t hold their own importance.#because even if I don’t remember and even if any other parties don’t remember. those moments still exist forever in history in a way.#And even if we don’t remember. The earth surely does; right? The ground must remember the weight and shift of our feet as we walked.#I just think it’s bittersweet that even if ‘forgotten’; nothing truly ceases to exist or be truly forgotten because it still existed.#there is a moment dedicated in this world’s history — into matter how short in duration — dedicated entirely to that event.#whether it be something as simple as just going for a week and appreciating the setting sun.#do you understand or do i sound mad.#i don’t know; i have a feeling it might be because my birthday is approaching soon and i’ve had a-lot on my mind.#neutral things mostly so fret not.#i think i need to go for a walk.#🥀🍷 — colloquy.#‘2022’#this is a blatant lie actually I don’t even remember 2023 #i am. trying my best to recall my last birthday and nothing seems to be coming up so. do with this what you will.

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xray-vex · 2 months

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HOW YOUR EMAIL FINDS ME

#literally. re: email from my ex this morning #every day it takes every ounce of mental and emotional strength i have to get my ass out of bed and face the day #today i begin packing to move the fuck out of here #everything fucking hurts and i hate this so much #i'm not feeling brave about any of this #one of the worst things about a breakup is that it damages you for any potential future relationships #in the sense that “how can i ever trust anyone with my heart and my love ever again?”#as if it's not bad enough losing someone you thought would be in your life forever #but the deeply cutting betrayal of finding out that this person you actually trusted with your literal life had led you on FOR YEARS #ESPECIALLY in the sense that this whole scenario is giving me intense flashbacks to the ending of another relationship #that broke me so bad it almost killed me #and it's easy for them to say “i hope you find someone who makes you happy” when they have someone new in their life #if i believed i had prospects for a new romantic relationship then it would be a little easier for me to collect myself & regroup & move on #but i don't think i have it in me to go thru any of this again #and that gives me even more layers of anger and rage and grief #as if it wasn't enough to betray me and break my fucking heart #but it broke me FOR ANY FUTURE LOVE AND HAPPINESS TOO #i know it's not productive for me to think that way #but right now i am fucking drowning in my fucking pain and fucking grief and fucking rage #i wanted stability and love and trust and someone to come home to every night and someone to come home to me every night #i just wanted to love and be loved #i wanted someone who i could call home #I JUST WANTED TO BE LOVED #rage #grief #trauma #edward teach #our flag means death #ofmd

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