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thedevilssinner · 8 months

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Elven soulmates - Astarion x Elf!Tav - Headcanon

I listened to one song and for some reason it screamed Astarion x Tav at me. This man is really ruining my life 😅

Anyway… the song was ‘IDK you yet’ and I just thought about the two of them being soulmates or something like that and then I found a thread on https://www.enworld.org about elven relationships and someone mentioned soulmates which got me searching and I found this page https://www.realmshelps.net/charbuild/races/elf/leaf.shtml where is mentioned that elves can find someone they call their thiramin which should mean soulmate in elvish language.

Here’s the part from the https://www.realmshelps.net :

Upon reaching adulthood, elves continue their sexual explorations. Eventually, though, each discovers that his heart has developed a capacity for lasting and exclusive love. Like most other important things in their lives, elves describe this in mystical terms. They believe that a person's spiritual progress is unknowingly intertwined with that of another. This soulmate is called a thiramin. Upon meeting his thiramin, an elf's heart fills with passion and certainty. Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, the other party is felled by the same feeling of immediate and eternal devotion. (Though rare, an unrequited feeling of thiramin is always disastrous, bringing centuries of wrenching heartbreak. Sufferers often commit suicide or succumb to the temptations of evil.) Elves almost always feel thiramin for people they meet for the first time: In other words, visitors from other communities. Intermarriage between communities strengthens the bonds of communication between settlements, allowing them to quickly band together against the armies of evil that march across the land.

Now… You can imagine what that did to me, when I thought about the idea of Elf Tav knowing Astarion before he was turned into a vampire so… here’s some headcanons. Suffer with me.

Tav and Astarion met in Baldur's gate. Tav being new to the city. Young elf exploring the world outside their home.

Maybe they met in an art gallery or a tavern or some other place… that’s up to you, but when their eyes met, they immediately knew the other one was their thiramin. Heart beating wildly as they smile at each other.

They start dating, of course. Trying to get to know each other and spend as much time together as possible.

I think that Tav would call Astarion their star… or maybe even ‘my starry night’

Astarion would call them ‘my moon’ (idk, I just love the idea of them using moon and stars as pet names)

Or… inspired by Game of Thrones - Astarion would call Tav ‘my sun and stars' while Tav would call him ‘the moon of my life’

Maybe they dated for a year or two, thinking about buying a house together.

But then Astarion was beaten ‘to death’ by the Gurs.

Tav could immediately tell that something was terribly wrong. The connection they felt with Astarion severing and sharp pain piercing through their heart. Panicked, they tried to find Astarion, going to his home but they already came too late.

Their blood turned into ice when they saw the mercenaries from the Flaming Fist already around his home. Seeing them carrying an awfully pale and beaten body of Astarion. (I don't remember if it was mentioned if Astarion lived in a Lower or Upper city before he was turned, so I chose a Lower city 🤷🏻‍♀️) (Also, not sure how and where exactly were he turned so I hope this is fine)

After a few days, Tav still couldn’t comprehend what truly happened. They felt just… empty. As if every color, every piece of happiness was ripped away from their soul. Not even able to visit Astarion’s grave because of that.

When Tav's family found out, they came to them, taking them to their homeland, because they knew how bad losing your soulmate could end for an elf. Tav fell into a deep grief and depression that lasted almost 100 years, doing some questionable things here and there until they started to function again.

On the other side - Astarion was beaten by Gurs but his final death came from Cazador, the change itself working just like if he truly died. His connection to Tav is severed and the shock of his change into a vampire erases all memory of them from his mind.

And then the 200 years of torture begin. Astarion doing anything he could and needed to do for survival. Flirting and luring victims to Cazador. He was good at it, great even, but something always felt wrong.

Well, everything he did for Cazador was wrong, but touching another person, sleeping with them, and whispering words of love to them seemed wrong for another reason he couldn't understand. It was as if his subconscious was always trying to tell him something, but he couldn't say what.

There was just always something wrong with the victims. Wrong eye color, wrong tone of voice or even their pet names they sometimes used for him.

Is he missing something? Someone? Longing for the embrace of a specific person that is unknown to him.

He always blamed his vampirism for this feeling. Thinking that’s just how it is. The feeling of wrongness and emptiness residing in him for the 200 years of his unlife.

Until the Mind Flayers and Nautiloid.

But back to Tav:

After a hundred years of grief, Tav finally started to get better. Diving into learning the profession/class they have chosen. Trying to enjoy life as much as they could, but the emptiness never fully disappeared. As if part of their soul was still gone.

They even tried to date, pressured by their family to at least try, but when their new partner tried to kiss them… they just couldn’t do it, dull pain spreading through their body and guilt flooding their mind. They immediately break up with the person and decide never to find a partner again.

But apart from that, they were relatively happy. Another 100 years slowly drifting away, the memories of Astarion remaining, if a little faded.

Until the Mind Flayers and Nautiloid.

Game plot:

Tav was walking with Shadowheart and Gale when they heard someone call for help.

Of course, they immediately headed for the voice, trying to help all the survivors of the crashed ship.

But when they finally came to the person they heard, the blood ran cold in their veins, the weapon they held falling from their grasp. It was like seeing him for the first time in their life but at the same time not… Astarion.

They notice that he looks different. His eyes are the wrong color and he’s so pale… but it’s him. They know it is because their soul sang when their eyes locked… but how?

“Hurry, I’ve got one of those bran things…” Astarion's voice trailed off as he fixed his eyes on Tav and gasped as an unfamiliar sensation filled his body. It was as if everything finally clicked and his mind was flooded with memories he didn't know he had.

That's how far I've come with this idea. I'm not sure how it would have gone on, but I imagine it would have taken a while for Tav and Astarion to become partners again. Both mourning the years they could have spent together if it weren't for Cazador. Tav learning to love the new Astarion he has become, because he was different from the elf they knew before and Astarion learning to love again overall.

#astarion #astarion x tav #astarion x elf!tav #astarion x reader #astarion x you #astarion ancunin #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #headcannons #astarion fanfic idea #fanfic idea #astarion headcanons #astarion x gn tav #astarion x gn reader #elf tav #Spotify

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star-anise · 3 months

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reading supercut: disability, body image, and trauma

A glimpse into the clothes thrashing around in the washing machine of my mind, with apologies that it is still a wet lump and not an actual synthesis of ideas.

From Easy Beauty: A Memoir by Chloé Cooper Jones:

[This event] embedded a damaging idea in me, one I’d recognize deeply when I read Scarry years later: beauty was a matter of particulars aligning correctly. My body put me in a bracketed, undercredited sense of beauty. But if I could get the particulars lined up just right, I could be re-seen, discovered like the palm tree is discovered. To be deserving of the whole range of human desires, I had to be extraordinary in all other aspects. In this new light, I started to see my work, my intellect, my skills, my moments of humor or goodness, not as valuable in themselves, but as ways of easing the impact of my ugliness. If only I could pile up enough good qualities, they could obscure my unacceptable body. [...] accepting the argument that beauty was malleable came, for me, with a cost. The Platonian view rejected me cleanly, but Hume and Scarry left a door ajar and I’ve spent a lifetime trying to contort my form to see if I could pass through it.

From Til We Have Faces: A Myth Retold by CS Lewis:

I now determined that I would go always veiled. I have kept this rule, within doors and without, ever since. It is a sort of treaty made with my ugliness. There had been a time in childhood when I didn't yet know I was ugly. Then there was a time (for in this book I must hide none of my shames or follies) when I believed, as girls do — and as Batta was always telling me — that I could make it more tolerable by this or that done to my clothes or my hair. Now, I chose to be veiled.

From Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy of Borderline Personality Disorder by Marsha Linehan:

Inhibited grieving is understandable among borderline patients. People can only stay with a very painful process or experience if they are confident that it will end some day, some time—that they can "work through it," so to speak. It is not uncommon to hear borderline patients say they feel that if they ever do cry, they will never stop Indeed, that is their common experience—the experience of not being able to control or modulate their own emotional experiences. [...] In the face of such helplessness and lack of control, inhibition and avoidance of cues associated with grieving are not only understandable, bur perhaps wise at times. Inhibition, however, has its costs. [...] Volkan (1983) describes an interesting phenomenon, "established pathological mourning", which is similar to the pattern I am describing. In established pathological mourning, the individual wishes to complete mourning, but at the same time persistently attempts to undo the reality of the loss.

From How to Respond to Criticism by Danny Lavery:

Apologize, but don’t really mean it, and plant a seed of secret resentment so deep in your own heart that years later you can’t even remember that you’re the one who nurtured it and made it grow, it seems that much like a native part of you.

From Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed:

[After learning that state child protective services had made a budgetary decision to only intervene with children under 12, to one of the teenagers that regularly shared stories of abuse at home] I told her it was not okay, that it was unacceptable, that it was illegal and that I would call and report this latest, horrible thing. But I did not tell her it would stop. I did not promise that anyone would intervene. I told her it would likely go on and she’d have to survive it. That she’d have to find a way within herself to not only escape the shit, but to transcend it [...] I told her that escaping the shit would be hard, but that if she wanted to not make her mother’s life her destiny, she had to be the one to make it happen. She had to do more than hold on. She had to reach. She had to want it more than she’d ever wanted anything. She had to grab like a drowning girl for every good thing that came her way and she had to swim like fuck away from every bad thing. She had to count the years and let them roll by, to grow up and then run as far as she could in the direction of her best and happiest dreams across the bridge that was built by her own desire to heal.

From Essays in Aesthetics by Jean-Paul Sartre:

Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you.

From "I Know What You Think of Me" by Tim Kreider:

if we want the rewards of being loved we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known.

#mental health tw #trauma tw #child abuse tw #child neglect tw #staranise original #kinda #there's also a lot I've been reading about avoidant personality disorder that DEFINITELY needs a lot more baking #before it's ready to be unleashed onto the public

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lemon-natalia · 4 months

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Gideon the Ninth Reaction - Chapter 20

i just wanna apologise in advance for how long these posts are getting lol, i have a lot of Thoughts about this book

oh wait nope they are going back to the creepy lab where two people just got murdered. great plan guys

Dulcinea wanting to team up surprised me a little, but it really shouldn't have. she's been paying a lot of attention to the Ninth, and especially Gideon.

'thousands of years after you're gone ... is when you really live' this is such a different, almost warmer, perspective on death and necromancy, and i can see why it appeals to Dulcinea specifically, who's clearly had to come to terms with her mortality pretty early on in life. but its also part of the more disturbing theme that the past never really goes away, and can't help but view this line along the same lines of discovering the ancient study last chapter, and the ancient laboratory, and Canaan House in general, which are only just now having their secrets revealed, and the terrible consequences of those secrets becoming apparent, after thousands of years

'she grasped a railing, leaned over, and proffered her hand' well this is getting very courtly romance

ah yes lets go through the door decorated with a swirl of human teeth, i'm sure there's happy fun times to be had in there. harrow, resident goth interior designer who specialises in bone decor, is probably taking notes as we speak

even after hurting her hand twice, Harrow really just can't resist experimenting even further huh. she's so very reluctant to accept that her existing powers aren't enough by themselves for this

ooohhhh, having to literally suck the life force out of your cavalier to win?? thats so sick and twisted and i love it. these challenges are, again, clearly relying on this intense relationship between the pair, both in trusting them absolutely and in this literal soul-siphoning/melding link thing.

however, it feels like Gideon's really getting the brunt of it in these challenges. Harrow's absolutely putting in an awful lot of effort and power, but it's the cavalier who has to fight the bone amalgamation, the cavalier who has to have their life literally siphoned out. they're about trust and a bond between them, but also seemingly about a willingness to sacrifice your cavalier to achieve that goal, and i have a really bad feeling about where exactly this is going in terms of how exactly one achieves lyctorhood

'under no circumstances will i ever desire your juice' Harrow you may wish to revisit this sentiment when you guys (to my limited knowledge) eventually become girlfriends

'none of this is worth it, at all [...] i'm sorry. We take so much' i'm like 90% sure the voice talking to Gideon throughout all this was Dulcinea, largely because it doesn't really make sense for it to be anyone else, but there were certain lines, specifically these ones, that made me suspicious at first it might be some(one? thing?) else. but it also feels fitting that its Dulcinea coaching her through this.

wow, just wow, i'm really impressed with the writing in this chapter, and how the pain Gideon is feeling is expressed. its such an abstract experience/feeling to describe, but i think its done incredibly well

'Ha-ha, said Gideon, first time you didn't call me Griddle, and died' ok i know she didn't but THANKS for giving me an absolute heart attack with that sentence Tamsyn Muir

Harrow i get understand u are protective of Gideon but let Dulcinea comfort her plz

'you can't just ask someone why they want to be a Lyctor'. ahh the duality of Gideon the Ninth. this just evocative prose about how it feels to be on the brink of death, and then immediately afterwards hits you in the face with a mean girls reference. beautiful, iconic, effervescent.

#lemon natalia reads the locked tomb #tlt #the locked tomb #gideon the ninth #the locked tomb liveblog

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shinystealingbirb · 2 months

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Some thoughts on Yanqing

I don’t quite know how or if Yanqing was shown in Honkai Impact, but I’d like to talk about my understanding of him.

Biiiiiiig cut.

I assume many think he’s a flat character. He’s a child prodigy who arrogantly took on two immortals leagues more powerful than himself, and couldn’t get over his loss. Right? Who went out seeking some strange person, who Jingliu almost treats like an amusing pet, who tried to shortcut his way to total mastery. Who desires a title of a championship rather than the art itself. That’s the mark of a flat character- no displayed motivation, and traits we’re told, rather than shown, exist.

This is what the game explicitly tells us. In fact, it takes pains to push this narrative, and in my opinion, it’s specifically because he’s never in our party. To Stelle, or Caelus, or whoever you play as, Yanqing will always be on the other side. He faced Dan Heng and Blade, who we controlled. He duelled Stelle and Kafka. Faced us under the voluntary control of a heliobi. The only time we control him is when Yanqing battles Jingliu, and even then, he was canonically alone. To the Trailblazer, he is a child. An irritatingly strong one, but a child nonetheless, ultimately a footnote in their journey.

So that’s what the game says. But I want to talk about what the game doesn’t really put out there as much, but becomes more obvious the more we encounter Yanqing.

It’s a little hard to explain- I got a kick in the balls when I went through the Fyxstroll Garden quests and got to Yanqing, but I’ll explain that in a moment. For now, allow me to begin with a brief explanation of his character in the way I see it, rather than what the game has taken pains to show us.

He’s a winner- all he’s done is win, and he is young. It’s all he’s known, training and success. He’s showered with praise that he easily tires of, and the General is the only one he spars with that consistently defeats him. This praise is the expectation, the norm. You must win can be a hell of a motivator.

So when he loses to Dan Heng and Blade, it rocks his fucking world. He had no idea where he was in terms of power- really, the only thing he had to compare himself to was Jing Yuan, and the gap there is enormous. He got a taste of a true life-or-death scenario, as opposed to the competition he’s accustomed to, and according to the heliobus, the two immortals- who are way out of his league- left him teetering on the brink of death.

In an attempt to discover his prowess, something outside of the meaningless praise and predictable spars with Jing Yuan, he was absolutely ripped apart by an undead Hunter and a reborn Elder. The worst part? The heliobus in the Fyxstroll quest says he would’ve died “if the hunter’s blade pierced him,” which could quite possibly mean Blade was holding back. Given he was in a rush to beat the shit out of Dan Heng, I doubt it, but it is a possibility that would add salt to the wound- being defeated without being cut once by Blade, only using the flat side of his sword to almost kill him?

So he’s aching from that loss. He got fucked up and knows exactly where he stands, and that’s the single greatest defeat he’s suffered in his life.

For some children, for those who began or became skilled, who build and build and gather ourselves, trying to fight good to become great, a fear we have to overcome is failure. And failure is the single more horrifying concept to a gifted child, the absolute worst outcome.

A normal person fails. Oh well. Time to move on with life.

A competitive or gifted child fails, it means something. It means the effort put in, every single move spent in our lives, every thought, every moment of practice or rest, even if not working on that skill specifically, was a waste of a life, and as failures, that child, too, is a waste. Failure is like death. The way I can best describe the feeling… your heart clenches. Cold sweat, a sudden mental blank. A spider crawls up your throat, and with every step your throat grows tighter, the sense of dread closer and closer until the spider has made its way up to your stinging nose, your tearing eyes, and you are humiliating yourself with those tears.

It’s hard for people who do not understand this to be empathetic. To these people, a loss like this is just a loss. Things like “you’ll get them next time” or “they were out of your league” are said, and these things will never be consolations.

We, the Trailblazers, do not understand why Yanqing goes back to it in his thoughts so often, why it is a pivotal moment for him, why it appears in his character lines, and why he speaks about that battle so ruefully. It was inevitable, we think, that he would lose, isn’t it?

Shouldn’t he know he would never have beaten him?

Of course he knows.

But Yanqing is a child. For all his power, all his cheer and skill, he is a child. He’s gifted, and loss stings really fucking bad if you’re gifted, if you’ve won and won and already realized that praise is false and results are king (his trace voiceline sounds so sarcastic when he speaks of praise.)

Now: we can go over Jingliu and Stelle’s battles if you wish- more salt in the wound, to twist the knife just a little more(loser, loser, loser)- but by far our most interesting encounter with Yanqing is in the Fyxstroll Garden quest.

He’s possessed by a heliobi who claims- and delivers- that he can teach any weapon and advance the soldier to a warrior beyond compare. Despite the memory-wiping effects of the heliobi after possession, I believe said possession- at least for this one- is voluntary.

After all these losses, Yanqing finds a spirit who pushed a Cloud Knight into something lethal, and the spirit tells him, “I have seen your losses, I see them inside your head. Offer me your sword; offer me your allegiance, your body, and I will make you great.”

Knowing he was almost killed for his naivety, knowing he has been painted as the enemy, knowing he has won and won for his entire gifted life, right up until he hasn’t… why do you think he takes it? Of course he’s desperate, of course there’s a nagging doubt, a painful needling that tells him hes not enough anymore, nothing is enough. Of course he allowed himself to be possessed.

After all, praise is empty. Results are king.

The real kicker comes when Jing Yuan gets there.

I think Jing Yuan’s reaction to Yanqing’s possession says a lot. He’s not surprised it was him, nor how easy it was to get into his head. He knows these things, understands they are part of growth and motivation. He is only disappointed because Yanqing has allowed himself to cheat, to find the shortcut.

He arrives at the island, and so calmly he says “Yanqing would never lift his sword against me.”

Yanqing raises his blade. And then he turns to the heliobi and demands a duel. He proceeds to rip the false Yanqing apart with all the speed and precision that Blade and Dan Heng dueled him with.

I’ve seen people talk about how Yanqing was put in a loaded situation. That his choice was made based on disappointing one teacher over the other. It’s not an unreasonable claim, but a shallow one, i based on the surface teacher-student dynamic and taking nothing the heliobi or Yanqing said into account.

It comes down to the choices he has: in that example, his choices are loyalty to a heliobi he only just met, or a teacher he’s known since he was a little kid. In this perspective, the choice is obvious.

This one is not an incorrect perspective, merely an incomplete one. I think the complete choice was as follows: Instant power from an unpredictable, harsh master, one who is asking strange things of him- attack your friends, attack your previous master, don’t you want power?!- or turn back to the training he feels he’s outgrown, mentored by a man who he holds in such high regard and, if his voice lines are any indication, would trust with his life in an instant.

He’s braver than I am for choosing Jing Yuan’s side. Yanqing’s been shown to have an honorable teacher, but we have not seen him put in a situation where he has to prove it. We couldn’t confidently say what he’d do.

This quest displayed his desperate side. The heliobi had already exploited it, promised and delivered power. The heliobi proved it could be trusted, for that at least. Jing Yuan is a trusted mentor, almost a father figure, but those methods led to failure at the most critical of times. This undoubtedly crossed his mind- it certainly crossed mine as I played through that quest- and I genuinely thought I’d have to fight him again.

Frankly, I’m astounded he chose Jing Yuan, and that surprise made, at least to me, made him feel complete.

Yanqing is a child, with a child’s complex emotions and weaker understanding. He is cheerful and confident, a trait easily confused with arrogance. He is competitive. His worth is based on his prowess with a sword. He knows praise is empty and results are king. He is desperate, but more than that he is loyal beyond his own desires, honorable to a fault, which is more than I could say about most adults, much less myself.

He’s flawed and requires a certain prerequisite to understand. Yanqing feels childish in a different way than Hook and Clara, in motivations rather than actions. He feels human, and I really like his character

#yanqing #character analysis #honkai star rail #honkai writing #writing #analysis #jing yuan #but there are some similarities I drew to better explain #hsr blade #dan heng #he reminds me of me #doing that quest really fucking hurt #3am thoughts #I’ve seen people burn out hard #I’ve been one of them #I’ve seen people dedicate their life to a sport #and there are some moments where shit really hits the fan #rambles

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athanasius-symposium-of-writings · 5 months

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Hi, I saw some of your IDV smut line prompt

If you still taking request from that and write for Wu Chang, can you do ❛ i want to fuck you so badly. ❜ and ❛ i don't care if someone sees us. i need you, now. ❜

More specific for Fan Wujiu/Black Guard just being needyhorny for his S/O ( ╹▽╹ )

I did my best! I like the idea of Wu, Fan, and Xie being three different ppl

Rated: Explicit | Warning: Aphrodisiac

“I want you,” You jerk in surprise, so hyper-focused on decoding you had paid attention to your heart racing alerting you of the hunter's presence. “It hurts how badly I want you.” Wujiu, the black guard, is currently in control. He looks like a mess! You thought it was because of Naib kiting him for so long but he looks actually in pain. “You will help us.” Grabbing you and placing you over his shoulder.

Wu Chang is the person they make, the souls within him are Xie Bi'an and Fan Wujiu. They are bound by the umbrella they carry, forever together but not able to see one another. During matches, the white guard and black guard are separate but whole, Wu's personality disappearing leaving the original two to hunt. It is very complex and you, the partner originally to only Wu, decided to just go with the flow.

In the manor, only Wu exists. He is a stoic man, very reserved. It took quite a bit of work to try to talk to let alone be in the current relationship you are in with him. Later, you met the pieces of the whole. Bi’an, the white guard, is the calm one who approached you post-match as Wu Chang was very eager to see you.

The eagerness one has when a loved one has been hurt. Your match with Ripper was scary, the map was new and London-based (Soho if you remember correctly). The fog everywhere, the dark alleys, all of it to his advantage. You barely escaped with another teammate.

Thank God that map was a one-time deal!

Wu grew worried and risked punishment crossing to the survivors’ portion of the manor to see you.

“Such love merits our meeting. You are his sun, his moon, the very earth he envies as it holds you up.”

You… Well, you have never been described so highly.

As introductions are important, Bi'an greets you pleasantly as you are the object of Wu Chang's affection.

Later came Wujiu, well, he bared what he wanted from you very quickly.

You have been intimate with Wu Chang once, it was an emotional moment and intimacy was necessary. You love cuddling, love skin-on-skin contact, but sex never seemed on the table— Rather in other words: it scared you. The trust, the work, and then the fear if you mess up.

Lots of anxiety.

With Wu, it was nice, slow, and you felt at ease and content.

With Fan Wujiu, you discovered so much in two hours!

Being currently in the Chinatown map, he knows exactly where he is going to hide you and him until the ciphers are completed. His victory is already claimed as he chaired two of the survivors before grabbing you.

“I do not care who sees us,” The top floor with the mannequins, “I need you now.”

You nearly scream when literally pounces on you, something you are sure Bi'an will scold him about. You scare easily.

By the time the last cipher is popped (poor Weeping Clown), you are a mess and Wujiu does not seem any better.

“Please, we need– God, I physically can't!” How much more can this man give!?

“You can, you must.” And you do as you bite his shoulder to contain your voice. “Blame. That. Bug woman.” His thrust is erratic, clearly desperate, and you are getting more and more drunk off his cock.

You have no clue what that means but you can guess by the way he smells sweet and weird then her ability must have affected him.

Stay put. I'm coming.

Hunter has detection! Go, I'll take the dungeon.

“Wujiu…” Shit, you might pass out.

He squeezes you in his arms, “Stay awake.”

“Hmm,” Oh, you feel lightheaded. “Tíngzhǐ.”

And he listens, “You took me so well, little bird.” Praising you as he stops immediately, “Are you hurt?”

“Just dizzy. And hot. Fuck.”

“I can't give you the care necessary,” He wants to keep touching you, “My apologies.” You know he means that.

“Widow's peak. There.” You try to get your words out, “Later.” It is a spot where you meet Wu Chang often, a private neutral area.

“Of course.”

He gives you a moment before carrying you to the dungeon.

#reader insert #anon ask #idv #idv wu chang #wu chang x reader #wu chang x you #identity v #identity v x reader #identity v x you #identity v wu chang

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moments-on-film · 9 months

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Moments on Film: Carmen Berzatto and Connell Waldron - Character Analysis

For the past few weeks, I’ve been a lot quieter on this site, and my analysis of The Bear, and that’s because I have been deeply engrossed in finally watching Normal People. I realize the show came out in 2020, but for whatever reason, I missed it when it was first released. Knowing that Paul Mescal has multiple films on the current/upcoming film festival circuit, All of Us Strangers, and Foe, the first of which, already garnering stellar reviews, and the latter, based on a sci-fi book of the same name, which I read and enjoyed, I decided to watch this piece of work from his oeuvre so I can better assess his range.

To put it simply, I found Normal People very compelling, moving, and heartbreaking. The acting from the two main characters is stellar. One of the other things I noticed, are the seemingly endless connections to the main characters in The Bear—in particular, Connell Waldron and Carmen Berzatto. Although these characters are different and a world apart, one in Chicago, Illinois and one in Sligo, Ireland, watching this show was like viewing many of the same problems through another character’s eyes.

On the surface, there are so many obvious similarities, (like the fact that they both religiously wear a chain necklace, Connell’s silver, and Carmy’s gold), but underneath there are multiple traits, insecurities, weaknesses, strengths, and patterns of behavior that stood out so clearly to me that I felt compelled to start writing this piece. In my opinion, both The Bear and Normal People are coming of age stories, because both feature multiple protagonists who are on a journey to discover who they really are and what actually brings them purpose, peace, fulfilment and joy. In a prior piece, I analyzed why I believe Carmy Doesn’t Know Who He Is Yet, and while the reasons may be different, the same is true for Connell Waldron. Below are several examples I noticed of the shared similarities between Carmy and Connell.

Please note: If you watch The Bear, but not Normal People, or vice versa, and you want/plan to, heart this post and come back to it after viewing to avoid major spoilers. If this doesn’t bother you, please, read on, and thank you, but I wanted to give fair warning. 🧡

Communication

Both Carmy and Connell struggle with this desperately. In The Bear, Carmy has trouble putting words to feelings, but he has them, he feels very deeply. In Normal People, Connell struggles to identify what he is feeling. These issues cause both of them, and the people in their lives, so much pain and suffering. Carmy’s life of abuse and trauma has forced him to stifle how he feels about situations he’s in, placate and appease others, and silence himself. In 1x6, Carmy tells his sister Natalie, “most of the time, I feel sort of trapped, because I can’t describe how I’m feeling.” Connell, on the other hand, is so worried about what others will think of him and his choices that he denies his true feelings, to the point where he often can’t even identify them himself. In 1x2 Connell tells Marianne that he struggles to know what he feels, “I might look back on something and think how I felt at the time, but, when it’s happening I never have any idea.” There are so many moments in both stories where one or two sentences would save them and their loved ones a world of hurt, but neither one is capable in several key moments that really count.

Crippling Indecision

Both characters suffer from this. In S2 of The Bear, Carmy is trying to straddle building his dream restaurant, and being in a relationship that is pulling him from everything he needs to be doing to open it. In 2x8, Sydney tells Carmy, “I just think you need to decide...” I have read much into this line because, due to his past, there are so many questions in Carmy’s life that he’s never been allowed to/allowed himself to explore enough to answer. In Normal People, Connell starts out not even knowing what he wants to study in college. He only comes to a decision when Marianne tells him very clearly what makes the most sense, based on her observations, and she’s right. Both of them look to the women in their lives go help them make key decisions.

Talent for Their Craft—with Barriers

Carmen is a talented and award winning chef. Before he’s left The Beef in his brother’s will, he conquered the world of fine dining. He’s risen to the top of his profession. He was even awarded the James Beard Rising Star Chef award from his time as a chef at Fairest Creatures, in Malibu and retained 3 Michelin Stars as CDC of Eleven Madison Park in New York. However, in S2, he struggles with crafting the menu for the new iteration of The Beef, The Bear. He’s torn between incorporating nostalgic dishes from his past, and new forward moving dishes created in partnership with Sydney. Connell is a talented student and sports player when we first meet him, and he goes on to be a “star” student at Trinity College, in Dublin, recipient of a prestigious scholarship, and editor of the publication of the literary society. However, in his work, (at times), as in his life, both suffer from his lack of communication. He receives a letter in response to a short story he submits that says his work “lacked a clear voice and confidence.” This problem affects all areas of his life, not just his professional one. Both Carmy and Connell’s work suffers because of their personal issues which they have yet to work out.

Soulmates

The relationships between Carmen and Sydney and Connell and Marianne have many parallels. Both couples (yes, couples) trust and confide in each other exclusively. They are each other’s confidant, and safe place. This gets tested for each couple when they are not truly honest with themselves about what the other means to them and when they let outside forces mess with their cosmic connection. Carmy ends up going out with Claire, partly due to the outside pressure from his family. Connell has a beautiful budding relationship with Marianne in the beginning of the show, but capitulates to outside pressure from his group of friends to do what is expected of him and be with the popular, but mean, Rachel. When he does this, it illicited the exact same response from me as when Carmy ditched Sydney to help Claire run an errand. Both moments had me yelling at my TV, “what are you DOING?! How could you do this to her?!” The thing is, both sets of characters have such a magnetic pull on each other, that outside forces can only penetrate for so long. Their paths are deeply intertwined. Carmy essentially asks Sydney to join him in opening a restaurant, and Sydney says yes. Marianne effectively asks Connell to join her at Trinity College, and he says yes. Both decisions will advance their relationships, personally and professionally. I must note that I don’t believe either ask is selfish. Carmy sees Sydney has talents and skills that compliment if not exceed his, and he wants her to shine. Marianne sees Connell’s talent and passion for English and knows Trinity is the best school. Another beautiful parallel is the fact that they are so deeply connected they they can literally read each other’s minds. Carmy and Sydney regularly start and finish each other’s sentences. They think alike, they dress alike. Carmy selects a chef coat for Sydney that could have been designed by her. In Normal People, Connell actually tells Marianne, “you know sometimes I felt like I could read your mind…..but I don’t know…maybe that’s normal.” Marianne stares at him deeply and pauses before saying “it’s not.” And it isn’t. These two sets of characters have a connection that is unique, special, and written in the stars.

Wasting Time with the Wrong People

Both Carmy and Connell go through trying to force relationships with other people that are just not right for them. Marianne does this too. We have not seen this yet from Sydney, but we may, as the show (hopefully) goes on. Carmy, for a variety of reasons, tries to be in a relationship with Claire. Early on, Connell succumbs to pressure to be linked with Rachel, who he doesn’t even like. Later in the show, he is in a placid and passionless relationship with Helen Brophy. Both Claire and Helen are or will be Doctors. Claire is in her last few months of residency, and Helen is at Trinity studying medicine. Neither woman is right for Carmy or Connell, which pulls them from their respective soulmates.

People Pleasing and Trouble Saying No

Carmy’s abusive upbringing has made him a people pleaser to some extent. He has had the completely arduous task of literally being in charge of managing his mother’s emotions and mood swings, as well as his brother’s. He doesn’t want to rock the boat or make people upset. This makes him say yes to people and situations he may not actually agree with and is another reason why he has trouble expressing his feelings and what he wants. This is a reason why he drops his work and Sydney to please Claire when she asks for a favor. Connell, from what we know, has a loving mother, but he is an only child and has no father, and seeks outside validation from friends. He’s very aware that his relationships are conditional and he very much goes along to get along, much to his detriment. An early example of this is when Rob asks to copy his French homework and he hands over all of his hard work without question. In the background of this scene, you can hear another character ask someone else for theirs and they give an unshakeable, “no.” Carmen and Connell struggle with boundaries that would protect them because they don’t want to risk making people upset.

Anxiety and Panic Attacks

Gif source: @birthdaysentiment

Both suffer from this. Actually both shows do an excellent job at uplifting the struggles of mental health, particularly for young men. Among other things, Carmen has undiagnosed PTSD from his trauma that manifests in sleep walking nightmares and severe panic attacks. When panic overtakes him, he literally is gripped in its clutches, and can barely breathe or move. The first time we witness him having a panic attack, it’s because he gets a phone call from someone asking for his brother who doesn’t know he has died by suicide. He gets so shaken, it impacts him physically and he has to physically remove himself from the restaurant. Connell has his first panic attack the moment he experiences just how conditional his friendships truly are. In 1x3, after he finally defends Marianne, his secret girlfriend who he loves, but is unpopular, to his friends, helps take care of her and takes her home, he shows up at school the next day and is relentlessly teased. Experiencing the way his friends will just turn on him on a dime causes him so much anxiety, he has to run to the bathroom and has a panic attack in the stalls. Connell also struggles with depression after his friend, later in the show, dies by suicide. He has a panic attack, so bad, he can’t even leave the house. Unlike Carmy (so far), Connell eventually gets treatment, and we see him start to even out emotionally. It must be said that during the final panic attack we witness Carmy endure, it is the thought of Sydney that pulls him through. Connell has treatment, but he also has the support of Marianne during his most major time of need. Both turn to these women in their lives for their strength in moments of great distress.

Al-Anon / Counseling Share Session

Gif source: @birthdaysentiment

Season 1 of The Bear culminates for Carmy emotionally when he reaches a breaking point, and in an effort to get help, makes a decision to not only attend an Al-Anon meeting, but get up and share many details about his background and his brother and it becomes crystal clear how deeply his absence has and continues to impact his life. Jeremy Allen White acts this 7 minute uncut scene with his whole heart, making us feel for him in every moment. He is spilling his guts, while restraining his deep, deep trauma, sadness and pain. His eyes brim with tears the whole time, tears he has still yet to shed. In one of the final episodes of Normal People, at the recommendation of his roommate, Connell goes to a free counseling session, sits in a chair, and starts for the first time ever to truly speak his mind, including how the suicide of his friend has impacted him, what Marianne means to him, and how he hates his current station in life but feels like there’s nothing for him to go back to in his hometown. Paul Mescal, like Jeremy Allen White completely carries this scene with the power of his acting in an extreme closeup. Unlike Carmy, Connell breaks down, and his emotions gush out in free flowing sobs. Both actors make the correct decision to barely make eye contact. Sharing this much is new for them and makes them uncomfortable, so for the most part, they keep their eye-line down, but despite this, the vulnerability is palpable we can really and truly see, hear and feel all of their pain.

Coming to Terms With What They Want

Gif source: @birthdaysentiment

I think the ultimate goal of both characters, Carmen and Connell, is to decide what they want, free themselves from the expectations, opinions, thoughts, or suggestions from others, and go get it. As I said, both Normal People and The Bear are coming of age stories. Both stories highlight the transformative power of love and the confidence to make choices for yourself with that knowledge that there will be someone there to love you no matter what. For Connell, it has been such a journey for him to come to terms with the fact that writing is his true calling. In the end of the show, he has the incredible opportunity to go to New York and take his place in a prestigious MFA program. At first, he is so scared to leave. Marianne is his rock and he loves her. He’s scared to leave and be alone in a strange city without support, without her. He asks her to come with him, but she knows this is a journey he needs to go on alone and she wants to stay in Ireland and live the life she’s living. She encourages him to go, and reassures him they will be ok. In The Bear, Carmy is not at this place yet. As I mentioned earlier, I have written about how at the present, Carmy doesn’t really know who is is or what he wants. However, we as an audience can see that his gentle spirit is attracted to art, drawing, and creativity. This has been beaten out of him, but I believe art is his true calling, he’s just never been allowed to pursue it. If we get more seasons of The Bear, I hope we will see Carmy have a similar breakthrough in reigniting and going after his dreams and letting go of what no longer serves him or brings him joy. I truly believe that he and Sydney will be a part of each other’s lives no matter what. In the kitchen or outside of it, in Ireland, or away, Carmen and Sydney and Connell and Marianne are connected in ways that time and space can’t break.

There are many, many other parallels to be made in both stories (which I may continue to write about). Connell and Marianne’s stories have come to an end, as Normal People was one season, and based on a book. We know where his journey takes him, but we can only speculate where else he may go, and if he and Marianne find their way back to each other. Carmy, on the other hand, is a character on a show that hopefully will have several more seasons, so his future is unclear. I just hope he can get the help he needs to heal and the strength and support to discover who he is and what brings him joy. I hope he, like Connell, mends and maintains his relationship with Sydney no matter where life takes him, especially if it leads him out of the kitchen.

Both The Bear and Normal People are at times, beautiful, tender, heartbreaking, poignant, and hopeful. They shine a brave light on what it means to be open, vulnerable, complex, flawed, trying, failing, succeeding, and most of all, human. Both series also show so beautifully how we need community and each other to raise us up, lift us out of our darker places and reach and keep reaching for light in our lives to be our truest and best selves. As Marianne tells Connell in the final episode as both she and Connell cry, “we have done so much good for one another.” I see this in Carmen, in Sydney, in Connell, in Marianne, and in so many other characters on both shows. And in this life, at the end of the day, isn’t that the most important gift? And we each have it—the ability to change someone’s life for the better.

©️moments-on-film 2023

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profeyandere · 1 year

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𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐙𝐋𝐎 𝐊. ─── ☾ 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐃

Masterlist || Daniel Brühl Masterlist || Wattpad

Word Count: 2k

Pairing: Laszlo Kreizler x Fem!Reader

Warning: Angst, panic attack, murders

English is not my native language, so I apologize for any mistake and if you can help me improve it, I will greatly appreciate it. I hope you enjoy it :D

That little building in New York no longer felt like the warm, sweet home he loved so much. Now, everything around him had been covered in a dark thick icy mist that had appeared once he had made sure that you were gone. He didn't expect to be able to blame you for it, either.

Laszlo, no matter how hard he tried to search his innermost thoughts, could not remember having felt such sharp and persistent pain in his life until he finally found the courage to return home and face the situation in which he had found himself. He had become immersed because he was unable to keep his mouth shut and the comments at bay, finding that tragic December night a home that was no longer what he had left that same morning. In the depths of his heart he hoped to see you in the living room, sitting in his armchair or on the soft sofa that characterized the room, with one of his many blankets in your lap while you tried to calm your usual nerves about meeting him again or doing one of the many activities you planned for the afternoons, perhaps reading one of the various astronomy books in which you had shown special interest in recent months with a cup of chamomile to soothe your headaches or trying to finish knitting the dark wool gloves for him with the excuse that even if you didn't like that activity, you wanted him to stay warm enough during the harsh winter that was lashing New York while investigating the latest case he had been involved in, even if he knew that your disgust for the last mentioned activity was a little lie that you had developed over the years and that he had discovered by having seen you smile on more than one occasion while you practiced with Mary a new type of stitch; you always showed a particular distaste for activities that were characteristic of women, but he had learned to observe that you were actually quite content with them and that you could come to appreciate them even if you claimed otherwise.

But now that he had returned home, he felt an emptiness in him, not hearing your playful laugh resonate because of some joke that Stevie had told you, nor could he distinguish your quick and agile steps becoming louder and closer that indicated that you had heard him home, much less was he able to feel the warmth that enveloped his home when you were in it. He noticed the lack of your presence, and it was not necessary to be very intelligent or have a university degree to make sure of it because he only had to analyze himself to realize it; Anguish had been the feeling that had taken over his body, then eliminating the anger that had been controlling him for much of the day.

Laszlo hadn't wanted you to get involved in the case of the missing children, the same ones that days later turned up murdered wherever the maniac who ended their lives wanted to show them. He assumed from the beginning that the scenarios in which he would be involved would be dangerous, after all, they were looking for a murderer, and he knew that the places they would visit would be quite unpleasant judging by what John Moore, his dear friend, had previously described. He just wanted to keep you safe, in the comfort of his home, while he and the small team he had assembled took it upon themselves to put an end to the wave of murders that was causing so much fear in the inhabitants of the splendid American city.

All he did was try to keep you away from the monsters beyond the gates of his home, but he didn't make sure that the most horrible being you had at your side. You had him, and he wasn't able to protect you then.

Tension, nerves, and anxiety had taken over his body, being felt that he was unable to control for not finding a solution to the case on which he was working so hard. He felt devastated for not finding a solution to such a problem, being forced to constantly search and review the same psychology books that he had read so many times and that, on this occasion, were not providing him with the required help. Barely a few days had passed since the death of the first young people belonging to rather unfortunate families was announced, but the desire to end it became more palpable as the hours passed; The only thing the doctor wanted was to end the case with a happy ending, return home as he usually did and hug you, thus eliminating the intrusive thoughts that crowded his mind and that prevented him on many occasions from resting as it should. You, being aware of the latter, had decided to visit Laszlo at his usual place of work to check his state of health.

He would have appreciated your visit on other occasions, he would have felt a familiar tingle once he had seen you open the door of his office to greet him with your loving smile, and he would have watched your bright eyes that would light up more and more as the seconds passed, and you watched him, but at that moment all he saw in you was a distraction he didn't want to deal with; he didn't want to be with you at that moment, and he wanted you to leave as soon as possible. You greeted him excitedly, asking about his day, and soon after you started talking about how worried you were that he was so deep in the case that he wasn't even taking care of himself, which you assumed all along and which is why you asked John and Sarah to take care of him while you weren't around; Although your innocence, concern, and dedication to the doctor could be seen as a blessing in most cases, he just wanted you to shut up at that moment, turn around and go home, he just wanted you to understand what his cold look wanted to tell you, but it was not like that.

You didn't understand him, or you didn't want to, and Laszlo took it out on you.

You saw his shoulders tense as you approached him and his desk, this time lowering your tone of voice as you presumed that a new wave of emotional headaches was at work again in his head. You sighed softly and walked around his desk, positioning yourself on one side of him with the intention of easing that pain by massaging his temples. It was when you finally placed one of your delicate hands on top of his, gently stroking the knuckles of his left hand to calm him down and show your support, that you finally saw how the beast he seemed to have kept hidden finally came out to unleash its full wrath on you. He quickly withdrew his hand from yours, surprising you with the movement and causing you to take a step back to give him some space, then raised your head to meet his gaze with yours, his being the one that flashed with feelings of anger and rage that ran through his body and that was impossible to control. He raised his voice at you in a way you didn't expect, ordering you to get out of his office, leaving you completely shocked by what had just happened and by what you had heard. You tried to refute what he had just told you, asking and begging him to let you stay and letting him know that you wouldn't speak anymore if he required it, but then he started to hurt you with the words that you would have least imagined. You had always had certain limitations in learning, you always recognized that obvious fact, and many times you doubted that your intelligence was the same as that of an average person your age, you had even felt bad enough on several occasions to question yourself if it was enough for Laszlo for that small impairment, but it was his words of encouragement, full of affection and always sincere that made those intrusive thoughts disappear, but now he brought out that insecurity to make you see that perhaps your assumptions were correct; He pointed out how stupid you looked around him and how you tried to keep people from seeing that big flaw of yours through the kindness you showed, trying to make witty comments but only making others laugh at how silly you seemed and that The fact that people were so sweet to you was because they found you as silly as a 3-year-old.

In short: Laszlo confirmed your biggest fear.

From the moment the doctor began to bring up that insecurity, placing special emphasis on what others thought of you, you felt how you stopped hearing from one moment to the next. You could perfectly see your fiancé open and close his mouth, and move his hands to express himself more freely, but it was impossible for you to understand what he was saying due to the feeling of sadness and anxiety that had begun to devastate you. You had heard of anxiety attacks, Laszlo had explained them to you after you had had to calm down one of the many children at school who had sought refuge in you the first time he attended the doctor's therapy, and, now if you were suffering it in the same way that young man suffered then, he made you understand that Laszlo was no longer a safe place for you; he was the one who was causing that to you, and you didn't want that to happen again, you refused.

When Laszlo watched you leave with teary eyes, your chest rising and falling at an alarming rate, and your hands slightly trembling, he knew he hadn't been able to protect you the way he wanted. He had failed you.

Now that he was home, remembering those agonizing minutes you'd suffered, he couldn't help but grit his teeth at the rage he felt at himself, letting out a snort to calm the anxiety that had begun to take over him. With his heart in a fist, he began to walk slowly towards the living room while he prayed that you were waiting for him there, just as he had previously imagined when he had entered his house, but it was not like that. Stopping on the threshold that separated the living room from the hall, he made sure that the vibrant colors that were always in that room were just a product of his imagination because now that you weren't there; everything had taken on grayer and sadder colors, only having a small flash of crimson in the small ring that was on the coffee table in front of the sofa that you always occupied to talk about your busy mornings and afternoons, both of you using that precise moment to appreciate to the other in the way you longed for, but now you weren't there, just the reminder that you were once there.

Laszlo realized that he had lost you forever and there would be no way to get you back.

The house felt cold again and as lonely as it had before I met you.

#laszlo kreizler #laszlo #kreizler #laszlo kreizler x reader #laszlo kreizler x you #laszlo kreizler x oc #reader #you #oc #daniel brühl #laszlo kreizler imagine #daniel brühl imagine #the alienist

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cypherpt2supremacy · 4 months

Note

So jikook drabble based on this????

Thank you so much for this request, babes. Enjoyed writing it!

Jimin hasn’t set eyes on Jungkook since the night of their wedding reception. The younger chaebol could hardly wait to make his escape from the brand-new luxurious penthouse that was gifted to them by Jimin’s father. When they had gotten back to the penthouse, dressed in stunning suits, they had barely exchanged a word.

There had been a lot Jimin wanted to get off his chest but he had instead swallowed every single word. He’d perched on the edge of the bed, and watched as Jungkook opened a suitcase and filled it up with all the new clothes that had come with the penthouse.

“Where will you go from here?” Jimin had asked, picking at his nails.

There was something about looking at Jungkook at the moment that proved overwhelming. He could feel his throat closing up, and there was no way he was going to let himself shed a single tear in front of the younger.

“I’ll be staying with a friend until I sort myself out.” Jungkook hadn’t thrown a glance his way either.

But then Jungkook rarely looked at Jimin at all. The elder was used to it. The pain of it wasn’t something that clawed at his insides. It was more of an echo that lingered and haunted him long after Jungkook was gone.

“I could return to my apartment,” Jimin suggested airily. “You could stay here instead. And I could just pretend to live here. Our fathers won’t be happy to learn we aren’t co-habiting so soon after the wedding.”

“Yeah, they can go fuck themselves,” Jungkook said, tone dripping with vitriol. “I did what they wanted. Married you. Now they can get off my dick. I don’t owe them a single thing.”

Again, Jimin swallowed all the words clawing at his throat.

“Very well, then. I will cover for both of us as best as I can.”

“Yeah, it’s what you’ve done best so, I trust you’d do a good job this time.”

As Jungkook stood in the hallway, his suitcase at his feet, he turned around and looked at Jimin, really looked at him. Jimin can’t remember the last time Jungkook looked at him. And he was struck then by how pretty Jungkook looked. Jimin was shocked to discover he forgot sometimes.

But right now, dressed all in black, with his hair styled back from his face, shirt open and silver chain glinting, he was the man of Jimin’s dreams.

The boy he has been in love with since he was ten.

All grown.

“They gifted us this camera today,” Jimin said softly, holding it up. “Can I take a picture of you?”

“Knock yourself out.”

Jimin hurried and snapped one before Jungkook changed his mind.

***

For the next one month, Jimin spent his nights after work, curled up in his sofa, drinking red wine and staring at the picture of his estranged husband that he’d snapped on their wedding night.

He wasn’t sure how to describe what was going on. He couldn’t say it was a healthy coping mechanism. It was definitely a hyperfixation, a degree of delusion and escapism. He wanted to believe that the Jungkook who’d stared at the camera loved him back just as much, didn’t marry him out of obligation and would return to him any day now.

Could be any day.

***

Jimin didn’t see Jungkook again until a year later. In the meantime, Jungkook had asked his permission to discreetly date around. Jimin had granted it, and he had lived in constant fear Jungkook would call one day and ask for a divorce.

But that call never came.

Jungkook did walk through his door, one day, however.

He returned, empty-handed, but there was a certain look in his eyes. A look Jimin knew so well but hasn’t seen on Jungkook since he was eight.

That little boy always looked at Jimin as though he was in awe of his existence, he looked at Jimin as though he hung the moon and stars and he trailed after him everywhere. He was Jimin’s shadow, and also his greatest joy.

“Jimin hyung,” Jungkook said, gaze earnest, tone as soft as the sea breeze on a Busan beach.

Jungkook hasn’t used the honorific since he was eight. Jimin felt his heart cave in on itself and then he was running towards him. He opened his arms and Jungkook collapsed in his hold, sobbing into his neck as though his entire world had come crumbling down.

“It’s okay,” Jimin said, running soothing hands down his back. “It’s fine. Hyung is here. Kook, I’m not going anywhere. Ever.”

It took sometime but Jungkook did calm down. When he finally untangled himself from Jimin’s embrace, he said the words that Jimin has been yearning to hear his whole life, “I’m ready to talk.”

Jimin nodded and led him over to the sofa. As Jungkook sat down, his gaze fell on his polaroid picture that Jimin had taken on their wedding night a year ago and a half empty bottle of red wine.

He didn’t ask Jimin about it and the elder couldn’t have been more grateful.

#jikook #jikook fics #drabble #im open for drabble requests by the way #joo writing this was like 🤕#angst

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roxynmae · 1 year

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I was sleepy, until I read "Jake biological father of Spider" my little love Spider, so much that he has suffered. The reaction of the entire Sully family is necessary.

Jake he would have a heart attack, and maybe remembering in second he realizes that Spider looks like one of his parents, (Jake's). Max would be the one to tell Spider and she would run away. It would be too much for him.

Neytiri would go wild. 💀

Tuk and Lo ak always wanted Spider. 🌟

Kiri has always called Spider his person and now he knows that they ARE brothers. 💖

Neteyam, if he is alive, Since I am also an older sister, I understand that we are the experiment, who is asked for perfection, to be a better copy of our parents, the caregivers of our siblings even when we are children. So I imagine that when they were children they were very close even more than Kiri and Spider. But wanting to be pleasing to his parents,seeing how Jake doesn't pay too much attention to him and Neytiri's obvious hatred, he began to distance himself and they went from being brothers, to strangers who talk from time to time.and to discover that they are really brothers, would be to open a box of good, bad and horrible memories.

And now he is missing.

No one can take it from my head that Spider spent nights in Pandora alone since he was little. And he only survived because Eywa took care of him. But still I go hungry, pain and fear.

I am realizing that we are masochists we like to suffer and cry.

We really want to suffer and cry dear anon, we really do. And poor Spider is always the one suffering the most.

I explored a bit what I thought how would Jake and Neytiri react here

Lo’ak is overjoyed, his best friend and brother in spirit is actually his brother. He wouldn’t really feel as much as an outsider anymore, Spider is as much as a troublemaker as him and with him being officially part of the family he feels like he fully belongs.

Kiri is happy for Spider, she doesn’t feel any different than before, in her heart she always believed them to be tied in a way or another. She asks Jake for the name of Spider’s mom and asks the scientists to find her video logs. After they find them both Kiri and Spider spend hours watching them, and she keeps pointing out their resemblances, the color of his hair, the shape of his eyes and so on.

Tuk is, as described in the official book as a happy little pixie and her reaction is very positive! Being a little kid I can see her asking questions Jake hoped would be dealt in a different way, like what was Spider’s mom like? She’s a curious girl asking if Spider looks more like her or his human self. Neytiri is upset, hates the idea of this woman because it means that while Jake was with her he was also with the other woman in a way or another.

Neteyam (if he survived) would still act the same way towards Spider, I see him as being the closest to Neytiri and he feels also kinda betrayed by his father, why didn’t he ever mention this woman when talking about his old life? He told them about his dead brother, how he took his place but failed to mention he had someone on base that he got pregnant? One time he gets curious and goes investigate Spider’s mom and he’s furious, how could his dad not see the resemblance. He would start to resent Jake for always asking perfection and constantly reminding him to be responsible when he himself wasn’t any of those things, the image of his father is forever branded as an hypocrite.

After Spider runs away Jake doesn’t know how to feel, he is his kid but he’s also the reminder of how abusive he was. He wants to find him to make things right, to make the guilt of letting a kid wonder alone at night in a dangerous forest go away. He keeps remembering all his faults, from sending him away during meal times, to the harsh ways he would reprimand him even when it wasn’t his fault.

Kiri, Lo’ak and Tuk are distraught, asking themselves why would he leave them. Didn’t they showed him how much they loved him? How much they were happy to officially have him as their brother?

Neytiri and Neteyam are almost relived, maybe it’s a chance to fix things and make them go back into the old equilibrium. Or even make it better.

#Spider is Jake’s kid!AU #avatar #avatar the way of water #avatar 2 #na’vi avatar #miles spider socorro #spider socorro #avatar spider #jake sully #neytiri #neteyam #lo’ak #kiri augustine #tuktirey

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killed-by-choice · 4 months

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Harjit Kaur, 30 (Australia 2024)

Harjit with her four-year-old and two-year-old, who she loved dearly

Harjit Kaur had so much to look forward to. Thanks to her hard work, she had just gotten a new job and she and her husband Sukhjinder Singh were about to buy a new home where they would raise their children. The future looked bright.

Harjit already had a four-year-old daughter and a two-year-old son. When she found out she was pregnant with her third child, she didn’t feel ready. Harjit underwent a “consultation” where she was told surgical abortion was “very safe” and that “she would be able to go home in a couple of hours.”

First-trimester surgical abortion is not as safe as she was led to believe. The uterus, cervix, the intestines, bladder, and nearby blood vessels are at risk of being torn. Risks include hemorrhage, infection, organ perforation, embolism and death. A few of the other women and girls killed by “safe and routine” first-trimester legal abortion include Kenniah Epps, Ruth Montero, Maria Gomez, Sandra Williams, Luz Maria Rodriguez, Elise Kalat, 17-year-old Chivon Williams, Erika Charlotte Wullschleger, Tia Archeiva Parks, 19-year-old Lisa Marie Hoefener, Pamela Colson, Maria Leho, Jennifer Hallner, Louchrisser Jackson, Regina Johnson, “Audrey Roe,” “Betty Roe,” “Dawn Roe,” “Evie Roe,” “Dorothy Roe,” “Vanessa Roe,” “Saanvi Roe,” and “Roxanne Roe.”

On January 12, 2024, Harjit went to the Hampton Park Women's Health abortion facility in Melbourne. She had told this was “safe” and a “routine procedure,” and she believed it. She was headed to the operating room at 12:57, when she messaged her husband and said she would call him after the abortion. That was the last time her family ever heard from her.

Abortionist Rudolph “Rudy” Lopes called Sukhjinder later that day to tell him what happened. Moments after the abortion was over, Harjit was being moved to another room when it was discovered that her heart had stopped. An ambulance was called and CPR administered for 45 minutes. Despite all this, Lopes described the abortion as “successful.”

Sukhjinder immediately drove to the facility, but when he arrived the staff refused to let him see Harjit. He was kept out of the ward entirely. He described the horrible day to news sources later:

“Five minutes later the doctor came to me and said, "Sorry your wife is dead".

“I was dead then. My life destroyed in a second.”

Staff finally let Sukhjinder into the room where Harjit’s body lay. “I begged her to come back for our little kids,” he said.

An investigation is now underway, with police and the coroner involved in the case.

Sukhjinder is devastated and doesn’t understand how Harjit, who was perfectly healthy, was killed by something they were repeatedly told was “safe and routine.” He struggles to comprehend what his future will look like without her and has described her needless death as unacceptable.

Harjit did not have to die. It is unacceptable that she was not warned of the potential dangers of the operation that killed her. More support should also be made available for families who are unsure if they are ready to care for a new baby. Resources to help her and Sukhjinder care for the new baby or for adoption could have helped. She and her baby should both be alive. Harjit deserved better than to be collateral damage of an industry that has already killed so many.

A GoFundMe has been set up to help the family. (Please consider donating to help them if you can.) https://www.gofundme.com/f/for-my-wifes-funeral-and-kids-support

https://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/victoria/shock-as-melbourne-motheroftwo-dies-at-hampton-park-medical-clinic/news-story/d41ffb636ea8173bc75fb741f39ed541

#tw abortion #unsafe yet legal #tw murder #tw ab*rtion #abortion #abortion debate #death from legal abortion #pro life

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sumire-bride · 1 year

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DIABOLIK LOVERS 2 YEAR ANNIVERSARY BOOK- Sumire Kanashi- [SUMIRE CHARACTER INTERVIEW]

𖧷ɤ———ɤ𖧷

QUESTION 01. What is your favorite thing right now?

A. Theres this new book I’ve discovered… Reiji-sama let me look through his book collection and I just so happened to find a book about.. Bee’s… Fufu..~ My new founded discovery has lead me to try and find bee’s around outside.. But it is always night when I am up so I can not find any…”

QUESTION 02. What are your recent preferences in regards to fashion?

A. “Ah.. My fashion preferences have stayed the same… Personally anything silk or smooth is my preferred preference… If there’s anything else I had to name.. Dresses, you would not catch me in any form of pants…”

QUESTION 03. Do you have any subconscious quirks?

A. “I fiddle around with anything in a possession I suppose.. Especially the edges of my hair… It just helps my concentrate better if can play with something in my hands..”

QUESTION 04. How do you spend your off days?

A. “Days off..? I don’t get those quite often.. Even when I am away from school I have quite the activities to attend to… But when I am alone I enjoy walking.. I get told that’s not really spending a day off.. But it is in opinion incredibly relaxing…”

QUESTION 05. What does your sleepwear look like?

A. “I don’t sleep very often… But when I do I sleep in lingerie… or a négligée… I really dislike pants…

QUESTION 06. What’s one thing you always do before going to bed?

A. “I like to drink tea and finish a chapter of a book while on my balcony… Though I can never finish my tea or chapter sometimes.. The brothers tend to interrupt the process…

QUESTION 07. Which part of your own body do you like best?

A. “That is.. Quite a difficult question… I am not very fond of my body… It may be weird to others but, I like my cheeks… Father has put his hands on my cheeks a lot when I was with him… I guess.. I also like that they’re so soft.. It’s comforting in a way..”

QUESTION 08. What do you like best about your own room?

A. “I love the colours… Blue is such a calming tone whenever I am in there I tend to relax…”

QUESTION 09. Tell us your most vivid memory with your the brothers!

A. “There’s so many to choose from… Aah, one time they all styled my hair in different ways… Yuma and Ayato fought quite a bit about how theirs was better.. Fufu.. It was very funny… It makes me to never want to cut my hair…”

QUESTION 10. How do you feel about Karlheinz?

A. “I do not know him too well… Besides the fact he is the boys father… As well as the vampire king.. For some reason though, when I think about him I get this strange feeling.. I am not too sure how to describe it but.. It’s like I want to find him or cling onto this man… Hooh.. Even just talking about him is making me a bit woozy.. Ooh..”

QUESTION 11. Where would you go on a date?

A. “A date…? I’m not sure, you see I’ve never really had much experience with these type of things.. I guess if there’s one place I had in mind.. Stargazing would be very much enjoyable… If I am graced with the pleasantness of going on a date, I wish to tell them all about the stars and little facts about them…”

QUESTION 12. Which kind of gestures from a boy make your heart skip a beat?

A. “Aah…! I’m not truly sure.. Oh goodness this is such a personal question… Men are such confusing creatures, but when they stare directly into your eyes.. Eye contact is just so… Oh my I’ve said too much…!”

QUESTION 13. What do you think your blood tastes like?

A. “I’ve never tasted it… I would like to think it would taste like blood, though because I am human it will taste different to me then would to the others..”

QUESTION 14. Which body part do you like getting sucked from?

A. “Either way, it is painful no matter the body part… My neck, I’ve grown incredibly numb there that it doesn’t hurt as much as the other parts of my body, because the others have bitten me so much there… But if they need to.. I will gladly let them bite me just about anywhere…”

QUESTION 15. What do the boys mean to you?

A. “It is no question that I am simply food playing as a human to them.. I am aware of my meaning… Let’s keep this between me and you please.. I view them as the ones who give a purpose… They give me orders and I do them, they make me feel emotions… Ones that I have not been able to feel.. Wether or not they are good or bad feelings.. They are still pleasant, let’s just say that they do have a lot of meaning to me.. They are like family to me… No doubt about it they would laugh at me if I said this aloud to them.. So this is our little secret yes..?”

𖧷ɤ———ɤ𖧷

#diabolik lovers #diabolik oc #sumire #Sumire Kanashi #sumire-bride #SUMIRES 2 YEAR ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL

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judgementdaysunshine · 1 year

Note

⚓Can I have a ship from Harry Potter, Pirates of the Caribbean & The Walking Dead, please?

I'm pansexual, she/her pronouns. I don't mind being shipped with either gender!

𝑭𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒆𝒔: I'm about 5'5, pale skin, blue/grey eyes, and brown hair. I have many many piercings, and I'm covered in tattoos. I'm curvy/plus size and am body positive.

𝑯𝒐𝒃𝒃𝒊𝒆𝒔: Reading, writing, collecting rings, journaling, tarot. I'm also collecting as many books as I can because I want to have my own library where people can take whichever book they wish.

𝑷𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚: INFJ, Chaotic Good, Gryffindor, Aquarius Sun, Capricorn Moon, Aries Rising, Pisces Venus (this last one might help with the match especially). I'm a passionate person and have strong opinions. I will always stand up for what I believe in, no matter how scared I feel. I think I'm quite witty and intelligent, although I do get overwhelmed quite easily. I'm incredibly open-minded and progressive. I love to laugh and make others laugh too. I'm sensitive, and intuitive and can pick up on other people very easily. I have strong gut-feelings and kinda … understand a person's vibe? Like I can sense someone's aura but not see their colour.

𝑨𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒕𝒊𝒄: I love cottagecore, I'm very witchy but also a little grunge and gothic at the same time.

𝑳𝒊𝒌𝒆𝒔: Learning - especially witchcraft, watching tv, day-dreaming, listening and discovering new music, I love being at home, writing and then taking a reading break. I adore baths and constantly buy items from Lush.

𝑫𝒊𝒔𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆𝒔: (other than the usual injustices of sexism, racism, and homophobia), I strongly dislike spiders and will scream whenever I see one. I don't like close-minded people, or those who make fun of others. I hate passive-aggressiveness, large crowds and loud sudden noises.

𝑳𝒊𝒍 𝒇𝒖𝒏 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒔 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒆:

・Have shaved my head. Asked my stepdad for his clippers and went into the bathroom and …hacked at my hair. It was very liberating, I think every woman should do it at least once in her lifetime

・I adore animals - I have a cat and dog! I want more but my cat is too much of a princess and won't allow any other animal in the house

・Bought a tattoo gun from the internet and I tattoo myself. I do the majority of my own piercings as well. I like to learn how to do things like that. I've kinda learned how to do hair and do mine, my mum's and my nunna's.

Sorry if this was too much, it's hard to describe oneself in a post. Thank you very much, I hope you have a wonderful day x

Omg absolutely (and also it is liberating hacking your hair off!) 🩷 (Minor swearing)

First I ship you with Cedric Diggory! 💛

He likes all your tattoos taking time and care to trace, look at, and kiss each and every single one on you even when they are close together or bunched up together

Anytime he finds a book whether he got it from his house, a bookshop, his father, a friend, or even amongst the books the library gives to students for free every 5 months of the year he always gives you a new book when he sees you and can

He makes sure if there are loud noises of any kind he always makes sure to either cover your ears or take you out of the room even putting headphones over your head one time when someone was misbehaving and knocked down a shelf in the hallway

He always watches in awe when you practice wand work and spells in front of him captivated by how natural and truly talented you are never saying anything until you take a break or done practicing

Whenever you are having muscle pains he always makes you a hot bath full of bubbles and bath bombs to help relax you staying and talking with you until the water runs cold and you feel much better

He loves seeing you with animals always smiling and feeling his heart flutter by it and it slowly made him fall in love with you even more than he already was

Next I ship you with Jack Sparrow 🖤

He doesn't mind whether your hair is long or short always feeling your hair when it's short and if you grow it out he will always take a chance to run his fingers through it

He always gets you rings whether in a chest with treasure or from a shop on land he always find a different kind of ring for you to wear on your fingers or even around your neck so you can wear a lot at once

He never admits it but he likes how passionate you are for the people you care about and who you wanna be even yelling and pushing Barbossa one time while in a fight with him which surprised jack of how you didn't take any type of shit from anyone

He likes seeing you wearing his button up or hat when everyone is just sailing the seas not fighting or running away from another crew or the royal navy enjoying how you just make him feel like a normal but good man as well

He likes how you always keep him going even when he feels low wondering if he was a true pirate, whether he should be dead, and that he deserved the people around him but you always remind him that you needed him and couldn't love anyone else as much as him

He likes to give you rum even if you don't drink it always laughing at the faces you make realizing that instead of water or anything else you drink whenever you're on your and weren't slowly drink the things you take from land he would give you a small cup of rum but quickly apologizes giving you a cup with water, coconut milk, or goat milk you got from land or one of the many islands you visit

And finally I ship you with Rosita Espinosa! 🧡

She finds and brings you gifts from runs for supplies getting many things from books, jewlery, clean clothes that were your size, and makeup to nail polish, tampons, face masks, and soaps to use in bubble baths

She likes joining you in bubble baths gently washing and caressing your skin relaxing in the water and bubbles with your head leaned on your chest

She likes to read what you write even if it's a note for a supply run she is smiling sweetly looking at the small note or reading a quote you remembered or heard of writing it down to remember it

She likes to dance with you but she loves slow dancing with you just enjoying the feeling of love and the contact with each other with your foreheads connected the whole time

She likes watching and hearing you read especially a long chapter book you slowly read turning a rosy pink when you look up to see her in the door way or sitting above you smiling sweetly

She likes watching you tattoo yourself even doing three little ones on her the first being an infinity symbol behind her ear, followed by a daisy on her wrist, and the last one being a quote in spanish "Per sempre luce mia" meaning "forever my light" on her chest just above her heart

#700 followers celebration #cedric diggory x reader #pirates of the caribbean #follower celebration #the walking dead #jack sparrow x reader #micheleamidalajedi's 700 followers celebration #harry potter #rosita espinosa x reader #jack sparrow #pirates of the carribbean x reader #harry potter x reader #rosita espinosa #the walking dead x reader #cedric diggory

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sanisse · 2 years

Note

What about a NSFW alphabet for our boy Lindir? Elrond wouldn’t want him to feel left out lol. Also, I mean, it’s Lindir, need I say more?

yessss I LOVE him. He's so heartbreakingly gorgeous. Lindir's one of my blorbos and I feel like he's criminally underrated.

Lindir NSFW Alphabet

small cw for mentions of uncomfortable/bad past experiences.

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Sleepy baby

No but really he has such a difficult time staying awake after sex. He’s also kind of no thoughts head empty/a little dumb. Embarrassingly easy to fuck stupid.

If he’s subbing (which is often) subspace and subsequent sub-drop lasts a long time for him and he requires a lot of aftercare.

Very clingy. Please hold him and give him forehead smoochies.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Tbh Lindir’s kind of insecure about his body? I think if you were to ask him, he would say he really likes his eyes. He genuinely thinks they’re pretty (they are!) and likes that about himself even if he isn’t super proud of the rest of himself.

He’s a body-worship guy so really he likes every part of you, but he does have a hand and finger kink so expect a lot of palm/wrist/hand kisses and sucking on fingers. It gets him going.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

opaque but very runny, doesn’t come a lot. Just a little splatter, really.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Has a number of kinks he finds embarrassing and worries about (but we aren’t here to kinkshame him!!). BIG consent play kink, mild pissing kink, big cockwarming/objectification kink, gigantic humiliation kink. He’s such a kinky little bastard and he so deeply wants to just be used.

But more specifically on the lines of a dirty little secret: he so desperately wants Elrond to use him. I cannot even describe how much he thinks about this. No thoughts head empty. Definitely masturbates about it. Elrond has definitely caught him masturbating to this. He just deeply longs to be fucked over Elrond’s desk in his study. I don’t make the rules.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Not super experienced. He hasn’t been around the block a lot and actually has some bad past experiences with male partners. It was a shock to him to discover that bottoming isn’t supposed to be painful.

As a result he’s easy to accidentally bully in the bedroom & bad at communicating and requires a very careful gentle partner (even if he does, in his heart of hearts, want someone to just fuck the shit out of him. Please be gentle with him to start!! Good communication and proper consent is new to him!!)

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

When bottoming/receiving: missionary or-- not entirely if sure if this has some kind of official name, but spooning? With him being the little spoon. He also likes prone bone. Basically anything where he’s getting smothered and held. :) He prefers to bottom.

If he’s topping (which he’s good at but doesn’t prefer, but will do if asked), he still likes spooning and missionary. He also really likes cowgirl and reverse cowgirl because he still feels like he’s bottoming. He gets kind of worried that he isn’t doing a good job so he prefers his partners to take their pleasure into their own hands if at all possible.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Serious isn’t the right word but he’s very worshipful. He can get kind of anxious or worried very easily, though, and hyperfocused on making things good for his partner. It’s difficult to get him to relax.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Completely hairless absolutely everywhere but his head and the smallest little happy trail on his stomach.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Needy, worshipful, attentive, adoring. He is simultaneously the best and worst partner you might ever have. When Lindir is really secure and confident in the bedroom he is just-- *chef’s kiss* wide saucer eyes that are only for you, so much oral (SO MUCH ORAL). He wants to kiss you, hold you, touch you, pleasure you. He will figure out everything you like as fast as he can and do all of it.

When he’s unconfident, though, he can be very stressed out, uncertain, and anxious. Has definitely had a panic attack once or twice during sex from the sheer worry that he isn’t being good for his partner. Again-- he requires a lot of patience, love, and reassurance due to past experiences.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

His masturbation exclusively includes fantasies of his current partner. He’s very private and very embarrassed about his masturbatory habits and will be shy about it if caught. He doesn’t like to masturbate in front of his partners (unless it’s in a bdsm context and he’s been told to and then it’s very hot for him).

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Lindir’s just a kinky little bastard. As previously mentioned: he has a consent play kink and an objectification/humiliation kink. He also melts over being told he’s being good, though! Praise kink goes hand in hand with his humiliation kink and he can come from either.

He has an oral fixation and has come from giving oral as well. Multiple times. He literally doesn’t even need to touch himself. Specifically especially if he’s getting his throat fucked by Elrond his partner and his partner comes? It’s enough to make him come: his partner’s pure pleasure at his expense.

He also may or may not have a daddy/mommy kink which he’s not super aware of but two certain someones may fulfill for him.

OH and how could I forget: he has a free use, gangbang, and breeding kink that all go hand in hand together. He’s WAY too shy to act on all but the breeding kink of his own volition but if his partner figures out about the gangbang/free use fantasy he’ll be an utter mess for them.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

He actually really likes the thrill/humiliation of semi-public spaces, but private rooms are more conducive to all the cuddles he likes post-sex.

Very partial to being held and fucked in the bathtub.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Exertion of dominance. Commands. Even the smallest little things from a partner (folding clothes/doing chores, helping them get dressed/undressed, etc).

Collar him. He will melt.

Kiss his neck. Tell him he looks pretty.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Substitution (please don’t pretend he’s someone else even in a kinky way. It hurts him).

Degradation/name calling that goes too far. A little degradation/name calling is very fun for him, but don’t make it super personal. And keep away from any insults that mock his sexual skill (some people really like being made to feel inadequate. He’s not one of them). He’s more of a “please call me a whore” than a “please tell me I’m a useless pathetic mess” degradation kink person.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Uh yeah. This is one of his favorite things.

Like honestly it might be his favorite.

Don’t get me wrong he does really like sex but he also just...???? LOVES giving oral. Doesn’t matter if he’s eating pussy or sucking cock it’s just his favorite thing. Smother him. Hold him down. Fuck his face. Use him.

Alternatively, lie back and let him pleasure you for hours. He’ll do it happily.

Alternatively-alternatively: he absolutely loves being a cockwarmer. It sends him into subspace in point five seconds.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

When topping: slow, passionate, very gentle as a default. Can fuck hard if asked but doesn’t naturally default this way.

When bottoming he is just dying to be fucked within an inch of his life. But will unconsciously melt and cry if you just make love to him (he forgets it’s a thing and just...yeah he’ll melt).

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Quickie ambivalent. The problem with quickies is that he really likes to be held/cuddled after sex and quickies aren’t super conducive to this.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

VERY experimentation positive. He loves trying new things! He can be nervous but is a very good sport about new stuff.

It’s hard to get him to admit that he wants to try something new, though. It takes a lot of coaxing and he’s easily embarrassed.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Comes extremely fast but doesn’t really ever seem to flag.

Like, embarrassingly fast lmao. You could lightly blow on him and he’d come if he’s worked up. This is why he actually really likes cock rings and cock-cages.

HOWEVER, like I said: he can come and come and come and come. One after the other after the other. This does get extremely tiring and he can easily accidentally be pushed into overdoing it.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Oh he owns a LOT of toys and is very shy about it.

Lindir’s a size queen. The toys in his underwear drawer are extremely large and he’d absolutely die if anyone found them.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Teasing ambivalent. Positive but ambivalent. He doesn’t like to tease his partners since their orgasms are honestly what gets him off, but he will tease if asked to.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He is LOUD.

Adorable, but loud. High pitched whimpers, mewls, gasps, moans. Will yelp and scream. Tends to be very incoherant when he’s turned on so don’t expect any sentences. Just lots of begging and praise but mostly little whines and mewls.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Fantasizes about being asked to take care of Elrond’s guests for him.

Elrond would never ask him to DO such a thing of course! But Elrond has absolutely entertained this fantasy for him and it was very fun for all parties involved.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

He’s small. It’s really cute, actually. About four and a half inches and average girth. Pale with a cute blush-pink head.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Two words.

Horny. Bastard.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Uh.

I’m pretty sure he’s fallen asleep during sex.

#lindir #spicy #alphabet soup #lindir headcannons

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leejenowrld · 23 days

Note

i just wanted to say i love in your eyes so much. you brought together all the heart-wrenching and love elements of writing into play, and created something so beautiful.

i love the way you wrote jeno. you convey heartbreak so well. the cycle of love, heartbreak, and the impulsive decisions you make. this was so realistic, my heart clenched when i read it. not to mention, the fact that the choices he make are influenced by his past experiences and heartbreak. how he dealt with his emotions was so realistic and i'm glad it was. you showed the REAL art of love and how it affects people.

i listened to "waiting room" by pheobe bridgers when i was reading, for the reason that the lyric "know it's for the better" really resonated with me during this, especially during the part where jeno stands her up. i felt like i was a highschooler all over again, experiencing my first love, the all too familiar feeling of love, which heartbreak slowly follows— making you scared to give love another shot. i felt my heart breaking with each word i read. i felt my heart being ripped out my chest, just for jeno to pick it up and heal it for me.

not to mention, you made a reference to my first and last! that was sososo smart, and to be honest, when i first discovered it, it was around 200 likes. i'm so happy, on that day, i stumbled across your account and followed you. i unexpectedly ended up being a fan of yours, and look where we are now. despite having finished the fic, my heart does nothing but yearn.

also, when you made y/n try to hook up with sunwoo, it just shows us as humans when we spiral, we tend to go back to our old habits that we're so used to. why? because we find comfort in them, we don't know how to do anything else but go back to who we were. but y/n found comfort in something else. jeno, and how he never gave up on her. even throughout their indifferences and tragedy, he didn't give up.

they found their way back to eachother— just like how soulmates do. no matter what happens, soulmates will always be tied back to eachother. you may have differences and things that separate you, but that doesn't change the fact fate has tied your souls together.

when i was reading, i thought of the word "jung/jeong" in korean. in english, jung is like a soul tie. it's like an attachment, no matter what happens, your souls are tied together. even if you guys aren't meant to be together (which y/n and jeno are!), your souls are still eternally connected. it's a connection which can never be severed, even through hate. it's a deep emotional attachment. it's hard to explain, but i think this describes y/n and jeno perfectly.

even when y/n hated jeno for standing him up, she's still naturally drawn to them. their connection goes beyond emotions, but to their souls being connected in itself, eventually making them find home in eachother.

i'm sorry this was long.

thank you for writing this, you have my full support, continue writing and i'll always be a reader. so much love for you!

this review. this review is the reason i started writing and it’s just making me feel so warm and appreciated 🥹🥹honestly i’ve been waiting for a review and ask like this ever since i uploaded ‘in your eyes’

you’re honestly so sweet 🥹🥹 thank you so much. that means so much wow, i really did try to make in your eyes as beautiful and coming of age and realistic as i could’ve, painful but sweet, blissful and breathtaking. i just think love is the most beautiful and precious thing in the world so i wanted to showcase that in my writing <33

thank you so much for the song!! i will listen to it <33 if you have any more songs that remind you of in your eyes then please send them over as i’m actually in the midst of putting together an ‘in your eyes’ playlist and i am struggling for songs that would fit the fic and the vibe!! so please let me know if you have any ideas.

and that is so fucking beautiful and makes me feel so proud that the fic hit hard enough to remind you of your first love and kinda transport you back in time 🥹🥹 that is the beauty of writing and i hope i can continue writing and impressing with my world building and the way i portray feelings and settings, my writing style is very emotional and descriptive (only as much as necessary) and i would go far to say that it’s a form of art, i live for making readers really feel something deep and take anything from the fic

thank you for picking out the reference <3 my first and last is always gonna be my baby, so i had to. you’ll be surprised to know that it was completely unintentional!! i just thought the line and meaning was so fucking beautiful and meaningful and it also happened to be one of my other special fics 🫶🫶

you’re a og reader and follower 🥹🥹 we’ve come so far just in 6 months. i uploaded mfal sometime in january and 6 months later it has around 2.5k notes, has been received well from readers and has its own special universe 🫶🫶

yes yes!!! you get it. yn finds familiarity and comfort in sunwoo. but then she grew a bond so strong with jeno that she finds that same bond, only stronger and actual love, with jeno <33 they are soulmates. and i really wanna show how much they love each other fr, so if you wanna know any extra facts about them or have any questions about their relationship and future (or actual questions for them) then lmk and send an ask <3

that word is so beautiful 🥹🫶 this is what i mean when i say my aim is for my fics to convey a deeper message and pull on heart strings

don’t be sorry !!!! i live for asks like this and i do wish i recieved more, as i said, reviews and words like this are so touching to me and i will always remember this. this is why i started writing

i really really loved talking to you so please join my discord server <3 i wanna talk to you more and also add me on discord — @jenosoph

my discord server — here

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aurora-daily · 1 year

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“It Shows Us What It Is That Is Worth Saving”: Aurora’s Five Songs for the Earth

Interview for Peppermint Magazine by Lauren Baxter (January 10th, 2023)

“Our world and our environment have always been a heart matter for me.” So says Aurora Aksnes, the enigmatic and beguiling Norweigan alt-pop artist known mononymously as Aurora. “I’ve always believed that communicating her beauty and her importance through art, music and film is what touches us the most. It shows us what it is that is worth saving.”

Returning to Australia this March for the open-air festival WOMADelaide, alongside a slew of east coast dates, Aurora crafts music that covers themes ranging from global capitalism and the environmental crisis to love, shame, desire and morality. It’s something that rings true through the artist’s entire discography – her voice, while often described as otherworldly, is of and for Earth. “I feel like I’ve always been the opposite of apathy my whole life,” Aurora shares of this affinity for the natural world. “I’m just extremely emotional and extremely thin-skinned, I guess. The world wants to raise you to have thick skin – it’s built around caring about yourself, and maybe your family and friends, but it stops there. We forget how connected we all are and all should be. It should be more natural for us to feel each other’s pain.

“That connects me with naturally feeling on behalf of the things you see in the world, especially things and situations that don’t necessarily have their own voice. We have to work for Earth. It does talk to us, but not in the language people seem to understand.”

For Aurora, translating that language is not something she takes on as a responsibility to share through her music. “I want to do it because it makes sense,” she says emphatically. “It makes sense to care. It makes sense to talk about it when the planet is dying right in front of us and people who live in the areas that get the most affected are dying already. Forests are disappearing and animal breeds that have existed for millions of years, we have destroyed. It’s just such a mockery of nature and the world. It’s terrible. I guess it is a responsibility, but I do it not because I feel like I have to. I think it just makes sense to talk about it because it’s such a vibrant problem. It feels like it’s burning around us.”

These worlds of music and activism have long been intertwined – singing truth to power, melodies burrowing deep into our brains and lighting that spark for action. But can music save the world? “Art, music, movies – everything that touches people more emotionally than mind-wise – are very important because we mustn’t forget that this global conversation is an emotional topic,” says Aurora. “We treat it very much as a political one but it’s super emotional. We have to remember the emotional side of it which art can help provoke. But also, I never think that artists have more power because the art only has power because of the people.

“It’s the voices of all the people together that create true change. I hope everyone knows how important they are when they sit at home as well. Everyone is so important in this battle.” Here are Aurora’s five artists for the Earth.

BJORK

“A lot of Bjork’s music tickles a different part of my brain that I don’t often search to be tickled because her music is very out there and I like very instantly emotional music, like her earlier stuff. But also, some days, I feel I need this part of my brain tickled and Bjork can always help. I’ve just discovered her recently – I’ve always known her and I know that she’s an icon and that she’s paved the way for a lot of artists like myself, alternative people and to help people who are a bit on the spectrum to be understood more. I’m very grateful for her – I’ve met her a few times and she’s just lovely. A beautiful woman. I’m really learning to appreciate and truly understand her music.”

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MAX RICHTER – RECOMPOSED

“Then there’s Max Richter’s Recomposed album. And also his album Sleep I love. He’s a beautiful man and he has this studio with his wife, far out in the countryside and they grow their own vegetables and all their power is from solar panels and they just live completely sustainably in this space and it’s beautiful.”

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BRIAN ENO – FOREVERANDEVERNOMORE

“Obviously Brian Eno, who I’ve met many times. He’s also my friend and his new album ForeverAndEverNoMore is an ode to Earth. We met through Earth Percent where you donate percentages of your songs and put Mother Earth as a co-writer.”

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HOWARD SHORE – THE LORD OF THE RINGS

“His track with Enya – oh my god! It’s so beautiful. I absolutely adore The Lord of the Rings soundtrack.”

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HANS ZIMMER – FROZEN PLANET II

“I’m on this one but a lot of the songs I’m not on and they’re just beautiful. They’re a literal musical representation of how the world feels right now. It’s beautiful.”

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#aurora #aurora aksnes #recommendations #interviews

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