#i can't force it anymore

[kethabali]

okay very freaky how similiar the timelines are last time it was also shortly after the 1 year mark but i didn't become really ready until another year passed and i'm pretty certain that will happen this time too... i am so predictable

#im not mad about it though #last time i was pretty pissed that it was taking so long #im okay with slow now bc what is the rush anyways #it either works or it doesn't #i can't force it anymore #i was younger back then and i thought i could just be a certain way and the problems would fix itself #but no what happens is what happens and i cant change how another person feels #i only know what i feel and how i feel about it #i am giddy happy though eheh #🧃 #but i cant believe that last time was like 3 years #sure it wasn't three years STRAIGHT but #the involvement was 3 years long #june 2019 to june 2022 #i ALSO CAN'T BELIEVE that it might actually (almost certainly) be coming to an end for real this time #i thought it would never end i know that is so dramatic of me but #i'm relieved honestly #but with the timeline being so similiar im also scared the same bad things will happen again #but you know i'm older i know myself better i am getting better at choosing people to be in my life #so maybe not #besides the first time was like a year roughly second was 2 years #so it definitely went up bc i got better at figuring out compatibility #so whatever happens this time it will be Better #is all i can say #im going Really slow this time i'm not forcing myself to feel any type of way that i do not feel #or doing anything that makes me feel overwhelmed or trapped

[wiisagi-maiingan]

Hi if you struggle with opening containers (jars, bottles, etc) because of poor grip strength or w/e, there's lid opener tools that range from fancy electronic ones to super cheap and basic ones and they can be an absolute game changer. I have one that looks like an angry can opener and now I can actually open bottles on my own without wanting to break down crying from the pain.

#i don't know how to explain mine it's got a lot of spikes #if you search 'lid opener' you'll find a bunch and you'll know it when you see it #i didn't want to put this in the actual post because i don't want it to be misinterpreted #but it's actually really humiliating being forced to ask someone to open a bottle for me just so that i can have a drink #especially when i've been working at it for a while and i can't really use my hand anymore from the strain

[sunnykeysmash]

Man of words

#s16 spoilers #iasip #it's always sunny in philadelphia #always sunny #macdennis #analysis #parallels #I didn't exactly know how to name this thread but i had some scattered thoughts on it #dennis is the one mac depends on to define things. he's the man of words. but this situation is very limiting #firstly because mac can't read subtext. and dennis will rarely be open in his words. but he also doesn't know everything. #cant define everything. and by forcing the situation to have dennis speak for both. what actually happens is mac gets silenced #and when mac cant speak. no one besides dennis can ever possibly understand him. and that is very isolating. because den wont be open. cant #but they trust each other. theyre following each other's lead. and they're missing the right words #den defines his own self worth in the relationship by being able to have the right words. mac is the man of action! after all #but if mac learns to speak for himself. if mac doesn't depend on den (chokes). if mac is noticed for his appearance as den becomes insecure #(''what if my shirt falls off?'') what does den have left for mac? but mac will fall for him no matter what. #''make up or not you are the golden god! it's all about what's in here💗'' #maybe words arent necessary anymore. dont ask just do. and mac's the man of action... OR IS HE. #mac doesn't really act now does he. they got it backwards. don't they? mac got a lot better with his words in time... #idk lots to think about let me know what u think lolll #threads

[cementcornfield]

PART 4 OF THE JA'MARR DRESSES JOE BUT NO HE DOESN'T (MAYBE HE DOES??) SAGA

Tee: Have you ever helped our QB with his style?

Ja'Marr: I don't know who dressin' him. I ain't dressin' him. I don't know who it is.

#i cannot BELIEVE THIS #now we can't even rely on objective third party witness tee anymore?? #ja'marr has made a LIAR of our boy??? (he's lying now or he was lying then!!) #i love it - ja'marr was like 'hey tee you wanna know how we can make this sponsored segment really fun??' #and then he forced poor sweet tee to go back on his word from last year when he said he'd seen ja'marr buy clothes for joe 'multiple times' #OR i guess he didn't reallllly make a liar out of tee because tee's just enabling a lie now (potentially) #god this team is MESS i hate them i love them #ja'marr chase #tee higgins #joe burrow #(in spirit) #also ja'marr repeating three (3) times that he has NO IDEA who's dressing joe #uh huh ok.

[knifebaby3000]

the wind has carried us too far, it's blown the moon down

#artists on tumblr #illustration #art #oc #digital art #my art #tian #happy bday to zhu's man tian tian we luv u tian tian a man for the last day of the year #''i won't be able to do anything for his bday bc i won't have my graph display'' false i love him and technically i have an ipad #''okay i'll just do this quick'' false i've been agonizing over this for 24hrs. the procreate timelapse is hilarious #''OKAY i can't look at this anymore i am DONE'' false we're adding chrysanthemums #this is the first thing i've actually forced myself to do in procreate start to finish........... many things i want 2 fix but not bad #973963747347525000% diff from doing in photoshop. learned many funny things abt my [ checks notes ] process #funniest thing was finding out i know exactly what t looks like in photoshop but in procreate...... whuh. huh. sorry to this man #anyway happy new year's (eve)!!!!!!!! i hope 2024 treats us all so well pls take care!!!!!!!!!!!!

[black-and-yellow]

OJ2 my beloved/hated

#how do they expect me to fight against Midnight when Mic rolls up to the arena saying 'you've looked after me so much Midnight' #I can't make him fight her cmonnn they're buddies look at them #When the Mic DLC came out it destroyed my entire game and I couldn't save anymore and I had to start over #my Switch could NOT handle him #but I don't play the Switch version anymore cause paying for online is stinky #I have matched with one person today and I lost tragically #why is it way more embarrassing to lose as Mic than as any other character #to the Nomu who beat me to a pulp a minute ago I am sorry I didn't mean to disconnect it was my wifi i promise i didnt rage quit i promise #I play on English for the sweet dialogue between the trio but this comes with a catch which is that I am forced to listen #to mic say the most cringe lines you could imagine when he attacks #does anyone still play OJ2 besides that Nomu who just eviscerated me. does anyone want to fight. i'll let you be aizawa

[aboveweirdest]

I'm fucking shaking over vash and wolfwood rn, oh my GOD

#trigun manga #trigun maximum #trimax #vashwood #vash the stampede #wolfwood #nicholas d. wolfwood #the fucking gun scene #“shoot” #shoot ME i can't take this anymore #“i'll trade my life” #“you see a man forcing himself to play the devil” #JUST KISS AND STOP BEING SO DRAMATIC I'M GONNA CRY #wolfwood really is big mad that he trusts and cares about vash tho #everyone talks about vash's suicidal tendencies but what about wolfwood #my man really out here kinda hating being a live #calling himself the devil #bby you have an orphanage calm down #not very demonic

[rawliverandgoronspice]

I think one cutscene of totk in particular stands out to me - the one where Ganondorf kneels to Rauru. It’s stated outright in the scene by both Rauru and Ganondorf that they’re both Kings and heroes of their respective people, so they should have met as equals, but instead Ganondorf kneeled to Rauru and Rauru left him kneeling. Like, idk… that just strikes me as disrespectful? Rauru should have at the very least told Ganondorf to rise, if for no other reason than to show some good-faith respect, meet him on relatively even ground, but he didn’t. Which tells me that he either didn’t respect Ganondorf enough as a societal equal in standing for a variety of (valid!) reasons, or that the thought just… flat out didn’t occur to him. Which almost makes it worse? Like, I highly doubt Rauru would have let the Zora king/queen kneel to him, they’re equals after all, so… what gives? (Besides Light instinctively shying away from saturated Evil.)

Ohh that's a good point. It could be telling us a ton of things about Rauru's "flaw" (which is apparently pride, but doesn't really translate all the way because again: what should he have done differently), but I think we are more meant to see this gesture as deceitful, and so for it to reflect poorly on Ganondorf rather than on Rauru (I think it was always meant to invoke the scheming Grand Vizir archetype, Jafar-style, who grovels at the feet of the benevolent ruler while plotting to overthrow him in the shadows --and the dishonesty is seen as worthy of scorn, far more than the poor ruler who is duped by this attitude).

I think it's meant as a gesture of asking forgiveness in the game, given their past of Ganondorf trying to invade, but, yeah. It does invoke a hierarchy that isn't called into question for sure.

And one that is, sadly, kind of carried forward with the rest of the gerudos, fighting to "make amends" that Ganondorf was born to them and was their chief once (which is...... so loaded, like, you must apologize/feel guilty forever for having dared to think of opposing the natural order of the world and you all have to carry the sins of a single guy who technically "died" eons ago and those feelings must inform your loyalty to the kingdom you now serve without an apparent expiration date)

#totk #totk spoilers #ganondorf #rauru #tloz #thoughts #asks #gerudos #I just groaned a lot during that cutscene #Riju girl baby..... please reject that responsibility...... it's not yours.... #nobody ever made amends to your people #hyrule is still actively trying to breach into your last cultural bastion #there will always be Guys trying to force your gates open until you can't say no anymore #or a zelda telling you how to handle your own army in the environment you've always lived in #:(((( #(I loved a lot of gameplay things about the gerudo section but) #(Problems....)

[sanshinexx]

But his doom Reserved him to more wrath; for now the thought Both of lost happiness and lasting pain Torments him: round he throws his baleful eyes, That witnessed huge affliction and dismay, Mixed with obdurate pride and steadfast hate. At once, as far as Angels ken, he views The dismal situation waste and wild. A dungeon horrible, on all sides round, As one great furnace flamed; yet from those flames No light; but rather darkness visible

John Milton - Paradise Lost, Book I

#i absolutely love the red/black colour combination in art so i finally decided to draw something with that too #i've also been having a lot of crosshair feels for the past month for obvious reasons so here have him as a treat #i also used a reference pic for this and was going to link it here but i can't fucking find it anymore so there's that #also sorry the quality is kinda fucked #but my drawing program actually can't handle a canvas of a larger size #it will lag and crash constantly which makes drawing just about impossible #in conclusion yes i need a new drawing program (and device) but i can't afford it so here we are #star wars #the bad batch #bad batch #tbb #the clone wars #star wars the bad batch #crosshair #clone trooper crosshair #crosshair fanart #clone force 99 #the bad batch fanart #bad batch fanart #tbb fanart #the bad batch crosshair #star wars crosshair #smoking #tw smoking #cw smoking #art

[connectionterminated13]

Fun fact if you pick up the Mikey he will scream and scratch like a little cat

This does not apply to death swap Mikey if you somehow manage to pick up his heavy metal body he will melt... So you will end up with metal spaghetti in your arms...

#I love how fucking broken post scoop Michael's brain is #All of that wisdom lost... Now he's back to being a Angry creature of a man... #Don't worry sometimes he gets old school 20s Mikey interspective and happy chill but rarely... #Can't smoke weed anymore that's a problem... #Or take anxiety medications #And for death swap Mikey I think it's obvious why he melt #Little guy hadn't got hugs in years until Charlie forced him into the back of the car #Death swap Mikey is the most touched starved creature. #Watch out I'm getting silly #michael afton

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

[pericky; a look into ricky's head during their meeting.]

---

"I'm glad you came, I wasn't sure you would." The wine pours, the sound of it drowning out the missing word in that sentence: back.

Of course, is the response, and the part of Ricky that's spent twenty years tearing itself apart to understand why vibrates with relief. It doesn't matter anymore. Of course, of course, he thinks giddily along with the words. He never needed to wonder why Pericles wasn't coming back in the first place; he was always going to.

I'm happy you invited me, and of course he thinks again. A lifetime of pretending he wasn't always going to either falls away. However harsh and lonely the world has been, all's right with it again; and the shy voice of the boy inside him that he's tried so hard to kill says, so quietly, I missed you.

#sdmi #scooby doo: mystery incorporated #pericky #ricky owens #professor pericles #anyway fucking end me actually. lay me down to die #i said i was gonna write more pericky and by fucking god i did #the 'why did you do this to me' to 'oh thank god you didn't actually do this to me' pipeline of abuse folks 🥲 #which like. their last conversation is yet another devastating example of ricky finally standing up to pericles' bullshit Too Late #ricky denounces him in the strongest terms he knows; based on his own feelings and opinions and the way he sees the world #(which: even then he can't bring himself to say 'i don't love you anymore') #(the closest he can get is 'i chose you and i can't take it back; the only way i can imagine not loving you is if i never had at all') #and pericles tries to go 'nyeh nyeh whatever i don't care' (and does a real bad job of pretending he is not obviously hurt lmao) #and ricky doesn't try to understand his logic; he doesn't try to reconcile a world where pericles didn't *really* mean to do anything wrong #his response is MAYBE YOU *SHOULD* CARE. #pericles' view of the world and what's right and acceptable are warped and *wrong* and he's the one who needs to get his shit together #'you shouldn't have abused me you shouldn't have killed cassidy you shouldn't have murdered a child in cold blood' #that is MASSIVE and i think it is really telling that pericles' response is to shut him down with force instead of trying to argue any more #and that in the end is the real true fucking tragedy of it all #ricky is making huge strides one after the other to take back his freedom from pericles emotionally #....and materially it makes no difference to improve his situation in the moment; because pericles doesn't have any less power to abuse him #he never has a triumphant moment where he Overcomes His Abuser and Breaks Out of His Control #there's nothing he can do to fight back until pericles is too Literally Dead to control him anymore #it is one of the rawest depictions of the reality of abuse i've ever seen and just. God. i love it so much #(at the same time i REALLY want to explore a version of events where he got the chance to expand further on that growth) #(the 'all witches are selfish; make all things yours; i have a duty' speech from the wee free men comes to mind) #whosebaby makes things #whosebaby writes #SDMItag #dyn: when i die i want you to die too

[epicfirestormer]

Me: I'm fine

Also me: Six getting his memory erased in "Six Minus Six" and Rex trying to make him remember is meant to parallel just how terrifying it must've been for Six and Holiday when Rex would sometime lose his memories before canon started. We know from what Tuck told Rex that he had lost his memories so many times, he would keep a notebook on him to make sure he would remember. How many times had this happen, for it to be a habit. How many memories did Rex lose when he was in Providence. How much of his own life does Rex actually remember during those years. Did Rex and Six bonded and got close before Rex inevitably blacks out and forgets everything again. How absolutely horrifying is it for Rex, a child in everything but title, to wake up with no idea who he is at a goddamn government facility and treated nothing more than a weapon. How heartbreaking had it been for Holiday, a mother figure who treats Rex like a child- how he should be treated- to see him not recall anything about her. How absolutely soul-crushing had it be for Six, who had taught this kid to survive and how to stay strong, to see that same kid act in fear. Did Providence did something similar to what Rex did, keeping a log of everything about him so he could know right away. How awful is that. How absolutely batshit, fucking insanely immoral it is that a child have to go through. To lose memories and be conditioned about waking up a military base. But in the eyes of Providence, he isn't a child. He's a weapon, an asset at best, and a monster at worst.

#generator rex #i have. so much emotions about generator rex #once again I need to talk about how genuinely fucked up the world of genrex is #like. rex is a fuckin kid. he's 16 #he can't even fucking drink #at yet here he is. forced to fight and be a child soldier because that's what he is. #no one views him as human because technically speaking. he isn't human anymore #he's a *thing* #can you imagine that. no wonder holiday always sounds pissed when everyone expects him to act like an adult #because he isn't. he's a teenager who got thrown in here because of factors out of his control and he has no choice but to fight #of course he's gonna rebel. that's just what kids do #honestly those episodes where rex is just. being a teenager and having fun? those are great. he deserves a break #i need to rewatch genrex cause holy shit i have a lot to say about it #something something ''providence is immoral'' something something ''rex is a child soldier'' #what else is new #rex salazar #the fire burns #generator rex spoilers #spoilers #im only tagging this as spoilers so that anyone new to this show don't get spoiled #also my mutuals who im gonna force to watch generator rex with me #hi silver. if you're reading this; thanks for getting this far #but also. let's watch genrex sometimes. it's really good

[shroombies]

Twitter consistently causes me an ungodly amount of mental strain and upset and I Wish I could just stop using the goddamn website but I just . Can't

#rambling #vent #idk why I can't stop it's like #i thought it was bc that's where i got all my fandom interactions but #this site exists and generally speaking i like it more for that #thought it was bc the ccs i watch are exclusively on twitter #but that's not really the case anymore #idk what's wrong with me #you'd think after a certain number of breakdowns you'd stop going back to the place that is Causing Them #but instead i find myself wishing my acct would just get suspended or the site would die so i'd be forced to stop using it #ough #sorry rough night

[aeb-art]

eclipses

#2024 #fnaf eclipse #eclipse oc #the one on the right has sun and moon in there too- the left one is just eclipse #oc #fnaf oc #fnaf #five nights at freddy's #i'm gonna ramble a lot in these tags #sun moon eclipse and one other animatronic were all damaged and the 'eclipse' on the right is what was salvaged… #the fourth animatronics fionna (an oc) could not have her ai recovered… but they got her music boxes put in their chest #forced to go on living knowing you can't hold each other anymore and your one friend is gone entirely #and in sunny and moon's case- they can't ever kiss the other again :x #left eclipse's ribbons and bottom clouds are supposed to be purple but they looked too blue in the photo… idk why #oh also i was drawing sunny and moon too but… i fucked up moon and have to redraw it… #also sunny and moon were holding hands so if i redraw moon then i have to redraw them both sighs its fine #i'm not doing it now i'll come back to it- all that matters is that these two are done and look how i want them to

[floralovebot]

And Another Thing it's not like i Don't like roygarth or that i'm particularly Against the ship cause no. but i think their canon relationship is so much more interesting than this weird fanon version of them where they were always Best Buds.

like canon roygarth starts with them being angsty teens dealing with their own shit and fully refusing to understand each other. garth latches on to everyone who's even a Little nice to him and roy is stuck in his I Don't Need Friends They Disappoint Me stage. roy also has very high standards for himself and gets pissy with garth cause he feels like garth shouldn't be a hero. which obviously sets garth off because he Also feels like he shouldn't be a hero but the other titans were usually supportive and understanding whereas roy would actually say it and insult him directly.

And Then garth fucks off and only talks to the titans when they talk to him first, then he's Fine Again but goes through Rough Shit. meanwhile roy's life is Also falling apart. but they get older and they get more mature and they get to this point in their life where they don't Want to fight each other anymore. the titans are their home and they're constantly losing people and they don't Want to lose what little they have left. but they also won't apologize or talk about what happened because they're both emotionally repressed so they just never clear shit up.

it's obvious that later on roy Does respect garth and Does see him as a hero, but he never apologizes for what he said in the past so garth still has doubts. and garth starts to gradually leave the titans out of stuff and only update them once a fucking year so roy is like ?? What Are We??? and as adults you can see that playful banter and that familiarity they have with each other and yeah it IS genuine but it's also burying all the blood bad they never actually sorted.

they're just in this really weird zone where they're Family but they're not Friends. they would give their life for the other but they never talk. they pretend to understand the other but they don't know anything going on in their life. they're best friends and they're just some guys. like imo their canon relationship is so interesting and has So Many Layers that really highlight their individual problems but the fanon version is always like "yeah sometimes they sass each other :)". like.

#yeah im still thinking about them what of it what are you gonna do about it #ajhdgljagd #like i think its so interesting how they really only became 'friends' because theyre so familiar with each other despite not being close #like roy is Not close with garth in the same way that he's close with dick #and vice versa hell man garth feels more comfortable with Wally The Republican than with roy #but theyve known each other for So Long and theyve both lost so much that they just can't do it anymore #they can't fight they can't insult they can't force themselves to not understand the other #but neither of them want to bring that shit up either so they just... start acting like they were always buds #and its Weird and Awkward #roy still doesn't understand what jokes are okay and garth still takes things way too literally #but they're Trying and they do respect the other but they also REFUSE to actually talk it out #they both refuse to talk about their personal lives with the other and only give the most bare basic necessities #garth still has insecurities and feels like roy actually hates him and doesn't want him there #roy still feels bad but is also still burned from garth being too nosy or not understanding his addiction #and like. that's just so much more interesting than yeah sometimes roy calls garth a fish hahah funny right #dc #garth of shayeris

[survivoreddie]

Hello everyone, PSA again. I have a very weird feeling about this season, so there is a high chance of me getting tired of posting things in like episode 2 or 3. Also I have a few trips happening in March, April and May, and it will be harder to post as I used to do in past seasons. Therefore, I will probably take longer to update (even waiting until the season is finished and I know for sure how much damage they have done). Sorry, but you all know how hard it has been for me to keep 'watching' this show when I know for a fact that Eddie will be treated poorly while staying on a meaningless relationship with a transphobe just to appease white people from the US.

#i'm sure they will make it all about buck having a new relationship (this time they may decide a man passes the vibe) and i really can't #deal with this anymore #i'm giving it till the end of the season to see if they have decided to do something interesting for eddie if they haven't i'm definitely #done with the show #by something interesting i mean the transphobe needs to be done and his storylines need to involve any other thing that's not him trying to #force a relationship with any random woman he meets #he is a single mexican american veteran father i'm sure they can find something interesting if they want to #i won't tag so no one will read this i just needed to rant a bit and let the few people i see in my notes everyday know