#i can't remember a time when i was ever so invested in a ship before | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bigtittiecomitte · 3 months

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Hiya!! So, I've got a question..so with Murder Drones coming back and the next upcoming episode (EP 7) coming out next Friday, do you have any worries and concerns for episode 7, including for how the entire show might end as a whole? I've seen some express their concerns mostly because they aren't sure how long the episode is gonna be.. I honestly hope the episode is long enough to where it doesn't feel rushed, (like 30 mins or so) they mentioned how EP 7 will have so much revealed but they can't do that in 20 or something minutes, because it could end up leading to disappointment similar to what happened with Episode 5, especially since we all waited months for the continuation after EP 6's cliffhanger.

(btw, I didn't hate EP 5. I know that episode is mixed with the fanbase, but I just thought it had so much potential and could've been much better)

Also, there's a possibility that V is gonna be returning in some way or so because when the trailer released over on Twitter, Nola Klop (Voice Of V) retweeted the trailer and such, I'm not sure if that's much but it's something, plus in the trailer we don't ever see V's body so it's a possibility she's still alive.

Also, this is totally off topic..but I'll admit that the fandom and some of the shipping wars have honestly ruined the show and experience for me, this is mostly due to experience and such. I've vented my frustrations with both the ship wars and the fandom itself before so I won't go into detail, but mostly from the Envy shippers and how horrible most of them are (NOT ALL) has kinda ruined my enjoyment..it's hard to fully enjoy my love for MD and the ship I've got comfort for, when in the back of my head the fandom and how poorly it treats others is bothering me inside. It's sad and also, it's gotten to the point where I barely care about who'll get with who..I know that's not the point of the show but still. It also doesn't help that YouTubers such as Vanitymoth and others aren't making things better..I'll also admit to something else that the MD fandom (mostly V stans) have kinda ruined V for me, she's not my favorite, but she is a character I've always been pretty invested in and I do love how complicated she is and she's also very interesting and I do hope we see more of her character growth whenever she comes back, wether that's in the last two final episodes of S1 or the future of the show.

But, ever since between EP 5 and especially EP 6..the fans have ruined V for me and it's made it hard for me to fully love her and be a fan, especially as many of them are insane, also can't separate V from N most of the time, seeing her as NOTHING but N's love interest or use her as a way to shit on Uzi and Nuzi 24/7 (especially on Twitter) + always defend her actions and never see her in the wrong. Yes, she has trauma and she's been through a lot..but it doesn't excuse how she acted, especially how she treated N and often mistreated and threatened Uzi.

And not only that, but the V stans and insane toxic Envy shippers have also made it hard for me to fully like Envy..I'm someone who's kinda natural on the ship and mostly only like their mansion counterparts and don't think they'd work in the present, but it could work now possibly since V has gotten some development + her sacrifice but I'm still not sure. But anyways, I'm into other ships in the fandom and although Nuzi is my main ship..I'm still in support of other pairings and love many other things in the show (unlike some fans) but It's been hard for me to fully embrace and like Envy due to how damn toxic and horrible they are and how they do nothing but spread misinformation, talk shit about Nuzi and just act horribly..remember that Envy shipper over on Twitter who threw a tantrum and cried over the Nuzi scenes in EP 6?

[Anyways, I'm sorry for getting off topic..but am I the only person who feels this way?? I've got my worries and concerns for the next episode but I've wanted to vented out about how I've been feeling lately about MD and the community..the show has changed me and still means a lot, but lately it's been hard to feel excitement and feel happy when this fandom at times can be so damn horrible and the shipping wars have also drained me so much. Once again, I deeply apologize for this ask being too long and just being all over the place. 💗)

Thanks for the ask! No need to be sorry for anything, I get off topic a lot too so we’re in the same boat lmao. All of your feelings are completely valid about any worries about the show and the fandom. I’m the same as well

I’m obviously very worried about how the show will end. I really don’t want a bad ending, especially for a show where a season 2 hasn’t been completely revealed yet. I’m really worried about N or Uzi dying the most though, you’ve seen these guys go through some shit, it would generally hurt if N or Uzi die. I feel like I would be in peace if they died together at least cause I’m weak for one dying and the other having to go back to the beginning of loneliness again

I’ve mentioned this a bunch of times but I do hope that V doesn’t appear this episode, I feel like it would just be pointless to make her have this big sacrifice and just suddenly appear the next episode. I don’t think she’s completely dead but you never know, Liam could surprise us lol

About shipping wars. It definitely ruined the fandom, the Nuzi vs Envy war is really stupid. I believe that you can criticise a ship and not the shippers (only ok if it’s a proship ewwww) Unfortunately from my time at the beginning of this fandom, it was already a hellhole with the shipping wars, it just got bigger as time goes on and they slowly went for Nuzi. I definitely can understand Envy shippers pain when Nuzi became the endgame ship. I’m someone who is a huge Nuzi shipper (I quite literally live and breathe Nuzi) and if another ship with N or Uzi was endgame, I definitely would be really hurt but a lot did take it out on Nuzi shippers that are just enjoying the show and the ship even before it became endgame due to the whole proship thing

Even if Envy became endgame, even if any other ship became endgame, it shouldn’t matter. People should be there for the show, not the freaking ships, this isn’t twilight

I will admit that I didn’t really like V, I never saw the appeal that everyone had about her but I do like her character growth. She didn’t deserve to be not only mischaracterised but also heavily sexualised

Maybe I would’ve liked V if her fans weren’t such obsessed weirdos that would literally send death threats over her existence but unfortunately they exist and there’s nothing to do about it

Her relationship with N definitely gets misinterpreted as well. I mean thank god for N being the way he is because if he was aware on how V treated him, he probably would’ve left her because V treated him really shitty. They don’t have a toxic relationship but they do have a dysfunctional relationship and now thanks to the fight in Episode 4 V has been treating N and Uzi nicer

And yeah I did see a lot of Envy Shippers hating on Uzi for getting in the way of N and V’s relationship but…what relationship? They didn’t have one before Uzi even showed up. Sure N did have a crush on her but V just completely ignored him and let J abuse him. Would that even change if Uzi wasn’t in the picture? It’s more likely it would be rinse and repeat if Uzi didn’t go out of the colony, N would continued to be abused and V would continue to ignore him, only focusing on the workers

In fact, they actually have Uzi to thank because N and V started their platonic relationship again thanks to her. N and V had a fight because of her which made V change and have her character growth. Uzi showed N that it’s ok to stand up for yourself and be more assertive in scenarios where it’s appropriate, which is what made N lose his shit at V at Episode 4. They’re only mad because Uzi got in the way out of their romantic relationship BUT unfortunately to disappoint some people, N and V will quite literally never have a romantic relationship in the present and that’s been shown numerous of times 8n the show that N and V could never work out in the present. It’s only in the past

I think N x V is definitely a good example of a lot of things in relationships and tropes. They’re a good example of loving someone who changed into someone you’re not fond of. They’re a good example of how trauma can affect relationships. But most importantly they’re a good example of the “right person, wrong time” trope

Think about it. They were happy in the manor together, they drew together, they read books together, they were in love with each other, and that would’ve stayed the same if the absolute solver wasn’t there. If the absolute solver came at a different time in the future then it would be very different for N and V but the absolute solver just had to be there and that’s how they turned into Disassembly Drones

So if there’s someone to blame for ruining N and V’s relationship it’s definitely not Uzi lol. N and V can only have that romantic relationship in the past, not the present, not the future. Despite their romantic relationship being gone that doesn’t mean that their relationship is completely gone, they can slowly build up to become friends and still have a bond. It’s not the end of the world and hey, if you still want them to get together romantically then there is fanfiction and AU’s

Coconut 🥥🥥🥥🥥🥥

#murder drones

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anonzentimes · 3 days

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how do people that dont immediately fall in love with nagitos character do it like chapter 1 he was so polite and nice i literally didnt wanna spend time with any other character, i caught on that nagito was responsible for SOMETHING before the first trial started and was genuenly so terrified he killed twogami cause i didnt want him to die, and then he had his breakdown and i was like yeah this is my favorite character in the entire series (i was still pissed at him for the rest of the trial lmfao

OH MY GOSH SAME!!! Like, everyone has a different experience, but as someone who loved him from day ONE I don't understand the experience of only eventually loving him lol. Even just people not loving his very existence and mannerisms is so different compared to me that I get confused! Finding him annoying sounds miserable I love him very much and not having him to hyper fixate on no, no, not having his impact on my life PERIOD would change my life drastically and I'd say for the worse. He's been so influential to so many parts of my life and continues to be such a fun brain worm consistently. I feel pity for those who can't experience the joy of his character and how happy he makes me, I know that there's no one with the exact impacts he's had on my life because he's so special to me.

At the time I saw Danganronpa 2 I was pretty depressed and every day felt the same, I was so miserable most of the time and was getting burnt out of life. I was loving Danganronpa though, I loved the first game and it gave me something to look forward to every day.

For Danganronpa 2 I had heard about Nagito, I knew he was popular but I didn't know why. I thought he'd be a major character so when he was just chill at first I was surprised. I was suspicious of him but that still didn't stop me from really liking him, my favorite from the first game was Makoto so his parallels and personality were really nice, fun, and interesting but I still was suspicious if there was more. When his breakdown happened my suspicion fell and instead of feeling conflicted and getting more suspicious it all made sense to me. He was so interesting and different, I loved everything about him and I wanted to understand him. It's kind of embarrassing but, it genuinely did help me at the time. After feeling as if every day felt the same in a weird helpless cycle my emotions about him were extreme enough that I loved that I was even feeling something which added to my love for him.

I saw the rest of Danganronpa 2 in 5 days because I was so invested and got a headache at Chapter 6, I cried at his death and it's the most I've cried at any specific media in recent years that I can remember lmao. I wanted to understand him more so I watched videos and read his wikis, I watched his free time events, I set him as all my profile pictures and wallpapers so I could have something that made me feel happy, I learned to draw him and his hair and he's all I wanted to draw which helped me improve, I joined the fandom early and met crucial people to my life before I finished the rest of the franchise because I loved him specifically so much, I got pinterest specifically so I could find more art of him, I read the komahina wiki just because I wanted to understand him more which led me to start shipping things that weren't strictly said to be canon, I discovered the term hyper fixations and realized I was neurodivergent because of him, like I could go on all day with the list of impacts on my life because of him but you get the point. He's still the most extreme hyper fixation I've ever experienced lmao. He's a special interest and I can say without a doubt that he still remains to be such a positive influence to my life. I'm grateful to experience such passion and happiness from something like him, haha! My love for his character STILL is helping my life even now by allowing me to practice articulating things about him, which has led to being able to get better at articulation in general, which has led to being better at english even having fun with it now and being less overwhelmed because I can express myself.

Oh my gosh I went on a yap sesh my bad LMAO!! But my point is, my experience with him is very specific and probably biased. But even so, I struggle to understand those who have such a different experience from me with him since I loved him from the start and my love only grew and has never stopped. I'm biased and I'm sure people have other interests that make them just as happy as he makes me, but I still feel sorry for those who don't experience what I do with him. But in the end one of the main beautiful things about media is subjectivity, so I'm okay being able to be so grateful for his existence and how it makes me feel.

Got a bit personal and sentimental with this since you struck something I was already thinking about when you sent this haha, sorry I said I agree in the longest way possible like it was a yapping content LMAO... thank you for your ask! <3

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bisexualhomelander · 2 months

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despite everything, i'm still human (but i think i'm dying here) - chapter iv

Ryan gains a new ability.

Ryan didn't enjoy being out in the woods. For one, they were dense, and he always feared he couldn't find his way to the house again. He was also scared that he'd accidentally stumble upon a ghost there. Sometimes, when the nightmares came, his mother called from the woods, gurgling on blood. Ryan hadn't meant to, he really hadn't, he'd just wanted her to be safe-

He bit his lip and moved on.

It all looked different now, no leaves on the trees. The only way to really tell the time in the house was the date set on his camera, so he knew it was November. They'd been living here for half a year.

He made his way through the skeletal branches. From time to time, he turned his head to check for the house. It was always there, like a ship in a sea of yellow leaves. He walked until he couldn't see it anymore, and then walked some more to make sure he was also invisible from inside the house.

He and Dad had had a fight. It had been their first actual fight if one didn't count the time Ryan yelled at him to leave him and his mother alone. But that hadn't been a proper one. Not really. They'd hardly known each other then, and it hadn't been like now because Mom had still been there, and Dad hadn't talked back at all.

Well, he hadn't talked back this time, either. Ryan felt guilty over yelling, but he knew he shouldn't. And yet, that utter look of devastation that had crossed his dad's features when he'd said what he had wouldn't leave his mind's eye.

"You're a fucking Dad! You are supposed to know those things!"

He leaned against a tree and slid down. In the bark, he could hear the insects carve their way. He envied them. Those small creatures instinctively knew what they were good for. They hatched and just... got it.

"Buddy... I... Ryan, please."

Ryan had spent all his life thinking he was a normal boy, but instead, he was a killing machine resembling a normal boy. There were days when he got mad at Mom for never telling him about his powers. Not because he had ever been invested in using them, but because he would have protected her. Even from his dad.

"No, fuck off! I don't wanna see you anymore! Go away!"

He remembered being fascinated by watching Homelander shoot his lasers in advertisements. He'd sometimes wished he could do it, had practiced in the mirror, had imagined red shooting from his eyes and killing his enemies.

"Ryan. Don't make this difficult."

At that point, Dad's voice had started to waver, but Ryan had been so angry that he had felt heat gather in his face and focus behind his eyes. It had taken most of his attention just to refocus all that energy on yelling instead of shooting twin beams into the wall - or his dad.

"Let me go! There's nothing you can do for me. There's nothing you can do at all! You're a shit dad! You're the worst dad in the world, and I hate you."

"I don't hate him," he told the little bugs in the bark. "But I hate that he can't help me. And that's unfair, right? He's the reason I'm still alive. Granddad would have killed me without a second thought. I know he's not that good a man, Dad. I know that. But he gave up all he had just so Granddad wouldn't hurt me. That's what a hero does, right?" He looked at the bark, focused his eyes, saw the moss melt away and let him peer inside the bugs' little pathways. "You don't even know I'm watching you. Vought does that to us, did you know? Dad doesn't know. He can't hear that kind of stuff any longer. His hearing's bad now." Ryan corrected himself. "His hearing's... normal now."

The bugs, once on the surface, just spread their wings and flew off. Ryan wished he knew how to do that. He really needed it now.

Experimentally, he hopped off the ground. Nothing. He copied the weird little crouch he had seen his dad do before jumping. Still nothing. He looked up at the trees and wondered if he could climb one and jump from there, but he just remembered the roof and the man his dad used to be, and then he remembered his mother.

"Don't you worry," he told the bugs. "I got a plan. Butcher knows about it, but Butcher's dying, so he can't help, either." Ryan pulled the phone out of his pocket. He showed it to the bugs in the bark. "See? He brought that to me in the cookie tin. With the toys. Vought didn't even check it, just like he said! They're cunts at Vought, you know?" Dad didn't like him saying that word, but the bugs didn't care. "They make people have powers, and then when they got us, they just lock us up forever. Why make us in the first place, right? Just so we can be in movies! Well, I'm making a movie, too. Do you want to see it?"

He showed them the video footage he had, two yellow Lego figures hugging in a living room. "That one's me, and that one's my dad. And this," he fast-forwarded the video, "this is my plan. D'you think it's a good plan?"

The bugs didn't agree or disagree, but he felt better after telling them. He didn't know how to tell his dad because Homelander had a tendency to overreact to those sorts of news, and he was so sad all the time. Though less after Ryan had started to show interest in his own powers.

He knew he had to go back home. He knew there was no running from it anymore.

Dad was sitting on the couch with his legs crossed when Ryan came in. He was holding a book, nonchalant as could be. The book was upside down, and Homelander's shoulders were rapidly moving with his quick shallow breaths like he'd run to the couch. His heartbeat was like a rabbit's, fast and scared.

So he'd been watching Ryan come closer from the window and didn't want him to know that's what he'd been doing.

Ryan toed off his shoes and walked over to his father to wrap both arms around his shoulders from behind the back rest. He buried his face in his father's clothes, inhaled that no-longer-new human scent of him, and broke down. "I'm so sorry, I'm so, so sorry!"

He didn't even pay any mind to the low hum that signalled they weren't alone.

Dad started crying, too, after a while, rubbing Ryan's hands in a gesture of comfort that managed to calm them both down. "I really thought you hated me, bud."

"I couldn't," Ryan said. "You're the only dad I have."

"You have time, Ryan."

They were walking side by side, Dad with his gold-rimmed glasses and a beanie, Ryan with his grey-sleeved Vought brand jacket. They must have made such a normal sight.

Ryan was glad there were never many people on the paths you had to walk on before you could get to the woods proper. Dad always got a little sad when they walked past others and they didn't recognise him at all. But when Ryan asked him about it, he said he was happy they didn't because being seen like this would be worse.

"I don't think I have any left."

"Why's that?"

They were in the woods by now, so Ryan knew he could speak freely. "Houses don't make noises, usually."

Dad's brows furrowed. "Yeah?"

"When I was small, I used to ask Mom why the house sounded like a bumblebee. There was a constant humming sound that I couldn't understand. Mom told me she heard nothing, but she seemed sad when she said it. I figured it was because she was jealous I could hear something she couldn't. I didn't know back then that it was because she was human and I was a supe. Anyway. I didn't hear that noise in any of the houses I've lived in afterwards. But our house has the hum. And you know why? I know why. There are cameras and microphones everywhere. In every wall. On every floor. In every single room apart from the bathroom."

His dad paled. There was a moment where he went through a rapid selection of expressions, and then his face was empty like he'd accidentally dropped all his emotions on the floor. "They wouldn't dare."

It had been months since Ryan had last heard him sound like... well, like Homelander. Dad's face had finally settled on a rage so overwhelming that Ryan instinctively took a step back, but he quickly recovered and grabbed his father to force him to look at him. "So they're watching. Vought. I've known this for a while. But don't worry, I've got it all figured out. Look!" He pulled out the phone.

"Is that-?"

"Your very first gift. That phone. I had it in my pocket when I... had to leave. So I just held on to it whenever I switched to a new safehouse with Aunt Grace. I kept it in a cookie tin with some toys. Butcher brought it to me because he knew it was in there. Ever since, I've been planning our escape."

Dad's face could have said anything and nothing at all. There was confusion, sadness. Mostly, there was fear. Not on his face, but in his blood. Adrenaline. Ryan didn't enjoy that smell. It gave him goosebumps. "So your movie..."

"I didn't want Vought to know that's what I've been doing. But I had to figure some things out, and I think best when I make movies. It just makes it more real. Well, I'm almost done, but I'm missing one key point: the escape route." Ryan had talked himself into a frenzy. His cheeks were burning, and his heart was beating almost painfully. He walked over to the trees. "We don't have a car, and it wouldn't do anything anyway. Vought would find a way. It's easier to smuggle a phone into the house than it is a car. But I can fly us out. If you teach me how." He turned back around to his dad. "Teach me."

"Now?"

"Right now."

"Where would we even-? Ryan, it-"

He took his father by the hands. "I know you're scared. I'm scared, too. But we'll figure it out, Dad. We'll figure it all out. We'll have help, I'll make sure of it. Butcher will help. And Aunt Grace will help, too, if I ask her. I just needed to run it by you first."

"It shouldn't be your job to get us out of here."

"I can't do it without you, Dad. You've already taught me so much, and you're always there for me when I need you. And you'll teach me everything you know. You made me that promise."

Homelander's eyes softened, and while his smile was unsteady, it was undoubtedly real. "I'm proud of you, you know? I'm really proud of you."

Ryan shrugged happily. "We got a lot of work to do, Dad."

Homelander clapped. "Let's get to it." He looked around, surveying their surroundings. "There is... nowhere we can train, really. But that's not important now. What's important is that you get a feel for your body in the air. I'll just have to lift you."

Ryan extended his arms, and Homelander took hold of him and hoisted him up. That had been a lot easier when he'd been smaller, Ryan knew. Within the past six months, he'd had to ask Vought to send him an entirely new wardrobe. Sometimes, his joint hurt with how fast he got taller.

The few times his dad had tried to hold him like this, his knees had started to buckle immediately. This time, it was different. His dad huffed a little, but his arms remained steady all the while. Ryan felt safe in his hold, not like he was weighing him down. It reminded him of back then. Of when Ryan had foolishly run away from his mother's house with his dad and this cruel woman.

"You can lift me up so easily now."

"Hm. Maybe I'm slowly building muscle. Wouldn't that be a thing? Your dad, finally as buff as his suit!"

"You'll be so ripped!"

They had a laugh about it, and it got rid of the last tension in them.

"So," his dad began to explain. "I know the rooftop was one of my worse ideas, but I wasn't wrong about what I told you that day. Your body knows how to do it, you just have to trust yourself. So what I'll do is this." His dad let him go, and Ryan landed on the ground. "I'll do it as often as I have to until you feel the weight of your own body taking up space in the air."

It was easier when he closed his eyes. The repetetive motion of Dad lifting him up and letting him go was meditative. Ryan moved his feet in the air, let them dangle, tried to go limp in his father's hold. He didn't even necessarily try to fly so much as try to make himself weightless, like an astronaut floating about.

"Like this," Dad kept saying. "Just like this."

Ryan didn't know whether he was doing it right, but his legs did feel a bit lighter. At first, he'd felt his blood rush into his extremities, feeling his weight most acutely in his legs. Now, his upper body above his dad's grip felt heavier than the rest. And Dad's hands felt different, too, his touch light but constant, and wow, he hadn't let him drop down in a while now.

"Dad, you can let go."

"You might wanna open your eyes, buddy."

Ryan did.

His dad's voice hadn't come from where he'd expected it to be. When he opened his eyes, he wasn't face to face with Homelander anymore. No. Homelander was looking up at him like Ryan had grown four inches over a minute.

He'd never seen his dad smile like that.

Dad's hands were hovering over his sides, but they weren't touching him. Ryan hung suspended in the air. He finally chanced a glance downwards. The sight shocked him enough to have him lose balance and slump down, barely landing on his feet. He staggered, and his dad caught him and held him upright immediately. They were hugging before Ryan had even regained his whereabouts.

"Didn't I tell you? Didn't I tell you you could? I knew you can! I knew you can fly!" His dad was rambling, ruffling his hair, and Ryan's heart soared. He'd almost forgotten what it felt like to have zero worries.

"Again!" he said and almost hopped into his father's arms.

Homelander willingly held him up until he was ready. This time, Ryan didn't keep his eyes closed. He wobbled a little as his father let go of him, but he managed to shift his weight just in time and stay where he was.

"Now, try moving." Homelander stepped back, giving Ryan plenty of space. "Maybe try flying towards the tree over there. This one right there." There was a lonely birch in the middle of the clearing, like it had been planted only with Ryan in mind.

Ryan's feet felt like they were in chains. His upper body moved easily in the right direction, but the rest of him didn't want to. He tried to put his all into it-

-and flopped forward onto the ground, landing on his face.

He was spitting out leaves as his father walked over to him. "You alright, bucko?"

He picked a leaf off his tongue. "Fine," he said, but it sounded petulant even to himself.

"Don't get angry at yourself. That was a great first try."

"We don't have time for first tries here. I need to do this. If they find out we're planning anything-"

"The cameras are probably watched by Crime Analytics, that's The Deep, that's- I wouldn't be too scared too quickly about them. Don't hurry. We'll do it like we did before. I'll guide you there, and you'll just hold on."

It took Ryan several tries to even get close to the birch, his father's hands acting as training wheels. But eventually, his hand touched the bark, and he held onto the stem for dear life.

"Can I try something?"

"Anything you like. Nothing can stop you now."

That was an exagerration, but his father by now seemed almost drunk on Ryan's quick success.

Ryan tried to reach for an upper branch, pulling himself upwards by it without letting his feet touch the stem. At first, he still used the strength of his arms, but then his entire body moved upwards of its own volition.

He didn't look down.

He didn't look down with the next three branches, either. Looking down would just unbalance him, and he didn't need that. It was just like climbing, really. He reached the top of the tree without further problem. He could see the house from here.

And if he could see the house, then that meant the cameras might pick him up, and-

He gasped, lost hold of the branch, and fell to the ground. His teeth rattled in his skull from the impact, but his back - that he'd awkwardly landed on - didn't even smart.

"Ryan!" Homelander was there, helping him up, but Ryan shooed his hands away and got to his feet.

"Weird." He looked at his palms where he'd tried to hold onto anything. His skin was unblemished without any scrapes. "That would've hurt me before."

"You're getting stronger every day. Developing your powers comes with some bonuses." Homelander looked up at the birch, mouth almost twisted into a smile.

Ryan understood why when he followed his father's gaze. The branches on his way down had been torn off by his hands in a panicked attempt to grab onto them. The birch looked mangled beyond belief.

"If someone sees this," Homelander said as they got ready to go, "what will they think happened here?"

"Stupid baby bird fell out of the nest."

"That was a huge baby bird if it took all the branches."

"Eagles are kinda big, no?"

Ryan really, really didn't know if he'd ever heard his dad laugh out loud before.

"Is it normal to see better without the glasses on?"

"Uh, I think you can become far-sighted if you get old." His father visibly flinched at those words, so Ryan was quick to go on. "It cancels each other out or something. So if you're short-sighted, but then get far-sighted, you don't have the same prescription. I think? I don't know."

"I'll have to send for someone to see what's up with my eyes, then." He set the glasses down and looked at Ryan. It was almost an uncommon sight to see him without the gold-rimmed glasses around his eyes. He looked more like he had back then, when they'd first gotten to know each other, except his hair was now a solid dark-blonde, almost brown. Like Ryan's. It had bothered Ryan whenever he'd find a new piece of himself in his father: they eye colour, the smile, the shape of his cheekbone when he grinned. Now the hair. The powers, always those.

Today, it didn't bother him at all. They had snuck back into the house like two boys with a secret, spending the way back home with over-exaggerated shushing gestures.

Now, they were in front of the fire with some hot cocoa. They were waiting for nighttime. For the plan to properly begin.

Ryan kept staring into the fire, and apparently his dad could read minds now because he figured out why pretty quickly and grabbed for Ryan's hand when he wanted to extend it toward the fire.

For a few months now, his experience with temperature had been gradually undergoing change.

He remembered shivering in his snow suit as a toddler when Mom had thrown snow in his face. He had felt the cold like a bite to his skin. The heat had driven sweat on his brow. Now, he could lean as close to the fire as he liked, and while he could always feel the warmth, there was never a moment where he recoiled from it.

"Will it hurt if I touch the flames?"

There was a beat of silence. His dad was still holding onto his hand. "It'll hurt. I can't promise it won't burn you a bit. Wait a while until you're sure it won't. You've seen you're getting strong."

"You were probably immune to damage at my age."

"Yes."

"Why were you so much better than me? You said you were breaking the sound barrier when you were something like six or seven. I can't even fly." It felt amazing to lie. His mother wouldn't be proud of that. Or maybe she would.

Homelander tried to look around the room inconspiciously. Ryan wished he hadn't told him about the cameras, but it felt good to no longer have to keep it secret. Eventually, Homelander heaved a sigh. His voice was low. Angry, but low. "When I was five years old, the doctors shoved me into an incinerator. Hand first. Like you want to try. My skin blistered, so they broke off the experiment. And did it again and again until my skin didn't start peeling off. When that was the case, they asked me to get into the incinerator entirely. My whole body. I was... maybe seven at the time. I don't remember anything about the heat. I don't think it was painful at that point. I certainly would remember sustaining an injury. No, funnily enough, the only thing I remember is hearing my own scream. Inside of there. The roar of the flames and then my voice."

Ryan felt nauseous. He drank down the last of his cocoa, snuggled into his father, and whispered into his ear: "They won't do this to you or me. Ever again."

The bathroom didn't have cameras, so leaving out of that window was easy enough. Homelander wouldn't fit through, but Ryan did. He climbed out, made his way over the roof, then took a deep breath and decided to just step into the empty air. His stomach dropped, but his body didn't fail his leap of faith. He drifted to the ground slowly and quietly.

There were no lights outside anywhere, so he made his way through the dark until he stepped off the paths and into the- into his- into their woods. He wasn't scared of seeing Mom's ghost this time. He wasn't scared of anything right now.

The dark and quiet didn't have to be dark and quiet at all. When he started to feel alone, he tuned his ears into the sounds of the woods. Thousands upon thousands of insects and other animals. He wasn't alone. He could hear his dad's heartbeat from here. When he felt like he wanted to see, he powered up the lasers, and the woods began to glow. When he wanted to find a spot with good reception, he didn't have to traipse around the forest floor. He floated above the treeline until his phone showed a full three bars.

He settled into the branches and put the phone to his ear. His hands were shaking when he waited for the voice he needed to hear, but he found it was from excitement.

"Newark?" she said. The codeword for this particular number.

He didn't bother replying in kind. He just got right to his point. "Aunt Grace? I need help."

#homelander #ryan butcher #my writing

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acacia-may · 2 months

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Hi again Acacia! Could I please get a request in for Ed x Winry before you close your shipping game asks? 💜

Hi there, friend! Thank you so much for the ask and for asking about one of my all time favorite pairings. 💕 Ed x Winry definitely makes sense and is beyond compelling to me, but I'm going to put my ramblings under the cut because I specifically mention some spoilers for the ending.

Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood was actually the 3rd anime I ever saw, and it will always be particularly special to me because it got me into the anime genre and to this day, is still probably my favorite anime of all time (though I love so many at this point). Winry was my favorite character, and I adored her relationship with Ed. That bantering, slow-burn friends-to-lovers dynamic is probably my favorite kind of relationship trope, so I was really invested in them and in their relationship throughout the series.

I adored their platonic friendship as well. There was just something so endearing to me about how they'd bicker but really had so much respect and admiration for each other underneath it all, and I think they way that they encouraged, inspired, and supported each other was really beautiful. There was something so natural about the progression of their relationship over the course of the series too, and it really so wonderful getting to see them deepen their relationship, fall in love and realize their feelings for each other. I remember literally screaming (in a good way) when Winry had her "feelings realization" moment, and their final love confession scene on that train platform at the end of the series is just everything to me.

As soon as I started writing these ramblings I had to get my out my manga volumes and just read through the scene again because it's one of my favorites in the whole series. There is something so refreshingly different about it, and it perfectly summarizes their characters and their relationship to me. I love how they so clearly expressed their love without saying the words "I love you" and instead used that equivalent exchange metaphor. Confessing in that way is just perfectly, perfectly Ed, and I found it really endearing, but what really gets me, is how he only asks for "half of her life" at first and suggests that 50/50 split which leads to this just amazing reaction from Winry.

That bantering is just so wonderful, especially when followed up by this sincere confession that she wants to give him her whole life and her whole heart. Her unwavering devotion to him is just beautiful, and I love that she finds the words to express that (when Ed, who loves her just as deeply and just as devotedly, struggles to find his words). I'm getting emotional just thinking about it. They are so in love!

When my friend brought over her dvd box set for us to watch the final 5 episodes together, I literally got up from my seat on the sofa, squealed, and danced around when there was this absolutely glorious flash forward photo of them with their kids at the end of the final credits. (Needless to say, it really shocked my friend because I do not get into shipping. She teases me about it to this day, but there is just something about these two, okay? They're too perfect together, and look they're married with babies!!! How else am I supposed to react to that?)

At this point in my life, I have seen this anime too many times to count and have read through the manga series several times as well, and every time I reach this photo (or the similar one in the manga) and see Ed and Winry together with their family, I still, without fail, get so giddy and excited. I love them so much! And I still can't get over how canon they are. If only all my ships ended up married with kids...they do in my mind, but to see it actually happen for real is everything and it's everything that an amazing pairing like Ed x Winry deserves.

Thank you for asking about them! They probably rank on my ultimate OTP list from anything ever! Just perfect and meant to be 💖💖

#now this one is OTP tier #no question #thank you so much for asking about them #i feel like i'm living the dream right now #ed x winry #i love them so so so much #acacia's ramblings #ship ask games #greta 💐

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amethystina · 4 months

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Shipper Tag Game

I was tagged by @a-very-fond-farewell! Thank you so much, darling! Though I'm not sure how good I'll be at it x'D

---

1. What ship were you completely obsessed with when you were a teenager, but now you don’t care anymore?

Honestly? None. While I did have some ships I was interested in, I wasn't obsessed with any of them. And I kind of still care about them? In a very nostalgic way. So I kind of fail at both parts of this question x'D

2. Which ship would you consider your first one?

If I'm going with the one I got really invested in? Destiel tbh. Mainly because I was very much a late bloomer who didn't really discover fandom and fanfics until I was 20-21. I mean, I HAD read some before that but since I didn't have internet in my apartment until I went to university (I was too poor xD), it wasn't easy for me to access them. Shipping is just easier when you have internet.

But, once I had it, I DID revisit a couple of ships that were technically older than Destiel that I had never really gotten into before that, many of them from video games, anime/manga, and books I'd read. But they were all overshadowed by Destiel so that's the one I remember as my first.

3. Your first fanfic belonged to which couple?

Are we talking reading or writing? I guess I'll do both?

Reading: I think it was a Zell Dincht/Seifer Almasy one from Final Fantasy VIII that a friend printed out on actual paper and gave to me back when I was 16 or 17 (again, no internet). And I honestly can't say why he picked that pairing xD (I'm definitely more of a Squall/Seifer girlie now)

Writing: Sterek. Because it felt interesting but also not too intimidating. And I also just like werewolves?

4. Do you remember the first couple you saw a fanart over?

Not really, no. Since I've been drawing for so long I spent more time looking for art than fanfics when I was younger so I probably stumbled over a lot of them without even knowing it.

5. Did you ever get into ship discourse?

Not if I can help it, no. I tend to stay away from that sort of thing as best I can and just let people ship whatever they want. It's honestly none of my business.

6. Did you use to have any no-otp or have it currently?

I have several, mostly based on what I find triggering or squicky. But I don't announce them publically because that's just rude to those who DO ship them. And, as stated above, I try not to get involved in what other people ship or don't ship.

7. Who were the couples in the last fanfic you read?

Choi Yoon/Yoon Hwa Pyung from The Guest. Because who doesn't love some pining and Catholic guilt?

For real, though, I read very few fanfics right now and actually had to go check my history on AO3 to figure this out x'D The second to last fanfic was a Strangers From Hell one. And the one before that was a Guardian one!

8. Currently do you have any OTPs?

Several. Honestly too many to list x'D I'm one of those people who don't really let go of ships I like. They're not always at the forefront of my mind, though, but I remember them fondly and coo a little when I think of all the fond memories.

But if we're talking about the ones I'm the most focused on right now I'd say Kang Yo Han/Kim Ga On from The Devil Judge, Yoon Sa Wol/5-8 from Black Knight (currently struggling with chapter 6 x'D), the aforementioned Choi Yoon/Yoon Hwa Pyung from The Guest, and Shen Wei/Zhao Yunlan from Guardian.

9. Is there any couple that, to this day, you are extremely mad about not getting together?

Sterek. But that has less to do with my dedication to the characters and more to do with the queerbaiting and how extremely shittily Jeff Davis handled that whole thing. To use the Sterek shippers for publicity and hint that maybe it could happen, only to turn around and do everything within his power to not make it happen?

I take that personally, not because I have a huge stake in Stiles and Derek as characters, but as a queer person who, for once, thought that maybe we would actually get to see a couple we really liked get together, and then didn't.

I had more hope for Sterek than I ever did for Destiel, which technically had more in-canon queerbaiting, because the people behind Teen Wolf did their damndest to give me hope. Only for me to be ignored and basically told I was being gullible for ever thinking it would happen.

And that's a betrayal I'm probably never going to forgive.

10. Is there any ship you used to dislike but now you think they are kind of interesting?

Not... really? I can't think of any, at least. But that could be because I always have a pretty good reason for disliking the ships I dislike. As mentioned, it's usually based on triggers and squicks and those don't really change. So my opinion on ships I dislike aren't likely to change, either.

11. Do you have any ship that, in the past, was considered normal but now you would be cancelled over?

I mean, considering the social climate right now? Even Sterek qualifies because Stiles was underage when I started shipping them and Derek most certainly was not xD That said, I always prefer the fics when Stiles had time to turn 18 before any of the sexy stuff happened.

12. What was your favourite crack ship?

Okay, so, I've actually read a lot of fics for ships I don't actually ship, just for research purposes. Like, I find it FASCINATING to watch what other people like, how they choose to write about the things they like, and how they decide to portray the characters. Basically, I like to analyse authors just as much as I like to analyse characters. It's a hobby of mine.

And one of my absolute favourites was reading fanfics for Newt Scamander and the original Percival Graves from the first Fantastic Beasts movie (Sidenote: She-who-must-not-be-named is an asshole and this is not an endorsement of her franchise or shitty beliefs). And why I loved that so much was because the fics were about THE ORIGINAL Percival Graves who, technically, was never IN the actual movie (he might not even be alive anymore?). Like, it was Grindelwald all the time. We never actually SAW the original Percival Graves, just Grindelwald's impersonation of him.

And I just had so much fun reading various authors' takes on this character who was never actually seen but, based on Grindelwald's impersonation, can sort of be hinted? Because he must have done a good enough job of it that the people around Graves didn't notice? It was like an anthropological dig of Percival Graves transpiring right before my eyes and since I got on the train pretty early, I could see authors being inspired by each other and how the fanon developed over time. 10/10 would recommend if you're interested in watching a fandom evolve.

(also, some of the fics were so fucking good. So there's that, too xD)

13. Who is the couple you read most fanfics of?

I'm not entirely sure if it's Destiel or Stony, but definitely one of them (Sterek is most likely in third place). Partly because there are just so many to partake in (those fandoms are HUGE), but also because they've been with me for so long and numbers accumulate. That said, I haven't read any for those ships in a long, long time. But considering how many fics I devoured during the time I was the most active in those fandoms? It's going to be difficult for any of the ones I'm currently into to catch up.

Also because I tend to be in much smaller fandoms now >_>

14. What do most of your ships usually have in common?

WELL. A while back I would have said that even if there are some enemies-to-lovers tropes and antagonising in some of them, they're all mostly unproblematic and pretty healthy.

... I can't really do that anymore, can I? x'D

I mean, Kang Yo Han is problematic all on his own, but even HE is a green flag compared to Seo Moon Jo. That fucker is just a straight-up psychopath x'D

A more serious answer: An interesting dynamic. Which sounds like a given, but is actually a bit more tricky than that. Because I've only gotten more and more picky over the years. I've actually spoken to my wife and friends about this, because I've seen a pretty noticeable shift in my own shipping practices lately.

I gather fewer and fewer new ships and that's not because I watch/read fewer things, but because I'm getting pickier about them. There has to be an extra spark that interests me, often connected to the characters' personalities and how they play off each other, while, before, a bit of chemistry was enough.

But that also makes me more versatile, I guess? Because I focus less on tropes and more on characters and dynamics. But that also makes it harder to spot similarities xD

15. What do you absolutely hate in a ship?

I mean, hate is a strong word. But, again, it would mostly be connected to my triggers. I don't like ships that are too abusive and unbalanced. A little bit of danger is fine, but things like abuse, infidelity, grooming, non-con etc. don't work for me, personally.

---

I don't really know who to tag so just do it if you want to! :D

#Amethystina Does Tag Games #Shipper Tag Game #I sometimes feel like I'm kind of bad at shipping #I'm never quite as invested as everyone else seems to be #But I also stick with a ship a lot longer than the average fan #Not sure why xD #I'm also known to both write and read for ships I don't ship #Just because I think it's fun or fascinating #But people usually assume that because I read or write for them I MUST ship it #To be fair #I sometimes DO end up shipping it eventually #But like #I didn't technically ship Winteriron when I started writing Autonomy #I just wanted to try it x'D #(blasphemy I know)#But that's one of those that I would say I ship now #But it actually took a while

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silvercap · 2 months

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20 Questions for Fic Authors

Thank you @thebrandywine for the tag!! :))

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

43!

2. What is your AO3 wordcount?

113,038

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mostly just Resident Evil, haha, but I've dabbled in a couple other things over the years... nothing else currently, though!

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I. My lone Genshin fic 😭😭 at 935 kudos (holy shit!!)

II. Ripping at the Seams with 670

III. *metal pipe sound effect* with 301

IV. Fracture with 290

V. Day 18: Ache with 253!

5. Do you respond to comments?

As much as possible!!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

You tell me: is there more angst when older Leon dies, or when re2 rookie Leon does? Personally, I'm leaning on the rookie, but 'do you believe' has the added Hunnigan and Chris angst haha

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

you're my lover is just straight up Nivannedy fluff and sweetness :)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Haven't yet, thankfully!

9. Do you write smut? If so, which kind?

Sometimes 😭 usually it's more of a plot relevant thing than anything else, because smut isn't always my jam--but there are exceptions!! I'm writing a crack ship re5 thing asjdjds and sometimes I do like writing scenes that involve a little sexy time, but I don't think I'd ever write it as a standalone pwp sort of thing haha

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest crossover you’ve ever written?

No...? I mean, I have a Blade Runner au on the backburner of my infinite stove, but I've never put different characters together in a true crossover. Wrote the beginning of an Eragon + Percy Jackson + something I can't remember, when I was in like. 7th grade? But that's long gone and nothing ever came of it asdjdjs

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Hopefully not... 👁️👁️

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Thought about it! It hasn't happened haha, but I'm open to the idea

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I'll be honest... ships are kind of cute adorable plot devices to me. I don't really have a favorite per se, but I do tend to prefer Chreon, Metaltango, and Nivannedy! I like Clairejill and I'm pretty invested in Ada/Hunnigan right now hehe but none of them really stands out as the OTP, y'know?

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Not sure! I tend to jump around and abandon and revive things a lot, so it's honestly just up in the air. I'm loath to put one on the chopping block, but I have my doubts about this one (OG!) re4 fic where Leon passes out during the cabin fight

16. What are your writing strengths?

I've been told that I have a very visceral writing style by several people, and I do often get compliments on how well I've made something feel real/captured a specific feeling! Which is a huge compliment you guys are so nice 🥺 and I do like to think that I'm good at descriptive writing!! I see things very clearly in my head and it's gratifying to know I'm getting it across fully :)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I tend to go at it without figuring out where I'm going, first. Plots are held together with a dab of white glue and some fraying string, and I often worry that I'm not putting scenes together coherently. I can do all the technical stuff just fine, but I really struggle with pacing and character motivations and foreshadowing and background etc, which I think is why I tend to write shorter fics!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

It's rarely worth it, unless there's some sort of narrative significance or I get to use my Latin knowledge for some silly villain 😭

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Bungou Stray Dogs!

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

I've always been partial to Fracture

Tagging- @fonulyn, @colesabi, @lightenupcowboy, @sunhatllama, @resident-rats, and anyone else who I forgot or wants to participate! <3

#my fics #20 questions

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rosemirmir · 2 months

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Tagged by @stickers-on-a-laptop for this! Thanks for the tag. :D

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

152 across my three pseuds, 123 on my main/fic one, 25 for my art one, and 4 for my meta one.

2. What is your AO3 wordcount?

77,898

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mainly tokusatsu, and old anime. Though there's also some Zelda, and a few other things in the mix too.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Excluding the one that got hit by a kudos bot its:

Please Bird Call Responsibly (Ankh/Eiji, T)

A Reminder (Ankh/Eiji, E)

When It's Spring, and You're a (Horny, Horny) Bird (Ankh/Eiji, E)

Tell Me Your, Tell Me Your, Fantasy, Fantasy (Ankh/Eiji, E)

Hot Weather, Popsicles, And a Touch of Mischief (Ankh/Eiji, G)

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yeah! Sometimes I forget because memory issues, but I like to respond to comments whenever I get them.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

This one. (Post OOO 10th, probably the only thing I will ever write that's compliant with that film XD)

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

That's a good question. I would say this one?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I haven't gotten any yet, I think locking my comments to archive users only (mainly because of all the spambot problems) is a big reason why.

9. Do you write smut? If so, which kind?

I do. I just write it for the ships and characters I want to center it around. I've always joked "You can tell I'm really invested in something if I write/draw smut for it".

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest crossover you’ve ever written?

I do when I have the idea! They're fun to do. And I would say the fic where I make Ankh have incredibly awkward sexual tension with The Owner from Den-O is up there.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! Two times, both in Brazilian Portuguese. :D

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have not, but it would be fun to give it a try one day.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

AnkhEiji and Mayalock. I refuse to pick one over the other.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

There was this one WIP I had where Ankh and Eiji are dealing with a heat wave I don't see myself getting back to anytime soon. (Unless inspiration strikes during the summer.)

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue and characterization! I've had people point it out to me before as well.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Descriptions of things, I've always struggled with that. Which is why its something I've been really working on with my writing as of late to try and improve at.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I don't think I've done it yet (If I have I can't remember right now, memory issues) but the approach I would take is italicizing it to differentiate it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Pokemon! I'm pretty sure the first fic I actually wrote was a pokemon one. Though none of those have survived throughout the years.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

I would have to say Wrap Me In Your Wings (And Hold Me Closer) is my favorite fic I've written so far.

Tagging @belovedstill @xing-hua @buddyaldridge @droppedalltheseoreos @dragonofeternal @setsuntamew (No pressure!) And if you see this and want to do it, go for it!

#linky posts #long post

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beevean · 5 months

Note

I remember seeing a listing or something of the sorts saying that animators were open and in need of hiring for Prime, a couple months before it premiered on Netlix. So things definitely point to potential trouble and crunching behind the scenes. Then there's budget and production conditions for animation for streaming services being even worse than for television and film.

That's pretty bad.

I can't add more because I never followed Prime, ever since they announced what it would be about. I can only tell, from everything I've seen, that it was mismanaged in nearly every aspect, from the animation to the writing to the weird insistence from the showrunners that yes guys trust us it's totally canon (whatever this even means anymore) when it's just as divorced from the games as uhhhh I'd say SatAM.

Sadly, "bad management" can only excuse so far. It's the old '06 argument, you know? Yes, the game was rushed to high heavens, and it shows. Yes, it's a shame that some potentially good ideas got squandered. But at the end of the day, people paid for a shipped beta, and they have the right to be disappointed. In this case, not only people (supposedly lol) paid for the Netflix subscription, but they also followed this season for a whole year, so there's also the time investment.

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superfluouskeys · 5 months

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Author Interview

Thank you @thevikingwoman for the tag!!!

1. how many works do you have on AO3?

100 💪😔

2. what's your total AO3 word count?

oh god. oh god. sdkjnfjknfknjf. 1,107,586

3. what fandoms do you write for?

tbh I really don't feel I write for specific fandoms, I move around as the wind takes me

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

Songbird -- Sleeping Beauty (Maleficent/Aurora) || 39k words maleficent finds the princess before the curse takes effect.

The Prisoner -- Sleeping Beauty (Maleficent/Aurora) || 250k words Do Not Read The Prisoner.

New Disaster -- Portal (Chell/GLaDOS) || 9.8k words post-portal 2 chell-focused character journey.

Begin to Hope -- Sleeping Beauty || Maleficent/Aurora || 16k words more trauma processing thinly disguised as a coffee shop au.

total control -- Sleeping Beauty || Maleficent/Aurora || 5.7k words god this one makes me cringe but ppl still read it sometimes. modern au. smut i am too embarrassed to reread.

5. do you respond to comments?

Except for recently when I got way too behind for various reasons, I respond to all comments unless they're like rude or something LOL!

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmmmm I had to think about this for a bit LOL bc I think I tend to favor, like, melancholy but hopeful endings. I honestly wish I could write sadder endings--there's one fic in particular that just absolutely eviscerated me and I'd love to be able to replicate that. But I tend to get invested in longer fics and want to make the ending Worth It you know, so I think you have to pull off a particular flavor of tragedy for that to be the case.

Anyway, maybe stop-time? It's uhhhhh an Incredibles 2 Helen Parr/Evelyn Deavor fic LOL Not sure how I feel abt the ending in retrospect actually but I'd say it's the least positive.

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

See above LOL, this is also hard because I think I always like there to be a little bit of a twinge in my endings! Like everything's okay but there's still a little lingering pain/uncertainty/etc. I honestly don't know on this one LOL, I think maybe The Prisoner has the happiest ending?? Because it was so long, I really wanted to resolve as many threads as possible. But now I'm ruining it with scorched earth LOL!

8. do you get hate on fics?

I've gotten a few interesting messages over the years LOL, the real ones will remember.

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

I went on an Improvement Journey a couple of years ago and now I feel my smut writing is wayyyyy better--anything before that makes me cringe out of this mortal plane. I like writing character-focused and story-driven smut.

(battling my demons rn part of me wants to write malora smut just so the only malora smut i ever wrote isn't TERRIBLE AND CRINGE but also i do not want to write malora smut do you see my problem)

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

Full crossovers are tbh too much effort for me LOL--I will sometimes write, like, crossover-inspired things. The Chance You Take (DA2/Meredith/Hawke) is extremely Carol-coded, for example.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of, but I have had a couple of ideas just straight-up plagiarized from private conversations which made me pretty pissed LOL.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

No, I used to be so awkward and just avoid answering when people asked me, but now I just refuse outright.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, I'm like wayyyyyyy too much of a crazy control freak for that LOL!

14. what's your all-time favourite ship?

Ohhhhhh come on you can't ask me that LOL, it changes all the time.

15. what's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

As I mentioned recently, most of my old WIPs are pretty much abandoned at this point. Never say never, but I just don't think I'll ever muster enough interest or enjoyment to make finishing them worthwhile for me.

16. what are your writing strengths?

Natural dialogue, slightly agonizing yearning, generally describing like, specific Emotional States TM.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

Hmmmm I still think I'm working on my pacing in certain contexts, and on making stronger narrative choices/not pulling punches. I think my narrative can meander a little and I can repeat myself a bit if I don't edit enough. I also notice sometimes that because I love working within limited pov I don't always explain, like, the character's thought process well enough? So what she's thinking sometimes seems like a leap of logic looking at it from an outside perspective. But overall I think I'm a very strong writer.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

LOL I think just indicate that it's in another language unless it's like just a word or short phrase and you either explain what it means in-story or can guess from context. There are probably some very specific circumstances where you might want a small section of dialogue in another language to create a certain effect, but other than that I think it's a no.

19. first fandom you wrote for?

I mean we really don't have to unearth my whole fandom history here. Let's say it was a musical and leave it at that :)

20. favourite fic you've written?

Oh idk, I think I'll always have a soft spot for New Disaster, and more recently I really like everybody's fool (DA2, hawke/aveline) -- but it's hard to choose an absolute favorite!!!

TAG TIMEEEE: @thepapernautilus @yourlocaldisneyvillain @eemamminy-art @quinnthebard @delirious-comfort annnd i am once again so bad at thinking of fellow writers

#hi have i complained about how much the tumblr post editor SUCKS LATELY #what the actual FUCK was that oh my god #exciting tag for writing things #personal

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13eyond13 · 4 months

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25 for Griffith?

[character ask meme]

GRIFFITH + 25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

Hahaha, an excellent choice of a question for him

cut for spoilers, because I know I have a mutual who is freshly reading this series right now... (don't look, Dilly!!)

OK so my reactions to him chronologically can basically be divided into three parts:

(1) Pre-Eclipse: I like him, but I'm also side-eyeing him a bit... What's he up to, exactly?

(2) During the Eclipse: yoooo Griffith what the actual fuck you actual piece of shit!!!!

(3) Post-Eclipse: I HATE HIM AND EVERYTHING HE DOES ENRAGES ME BUT ALSO I REMEMBER HE'S A BIT COMPLICATED AND ALSO IT'S MORE BORING WHEN HE'S NOT AROUND SO WHERE DID HE GO AND CAN HE STOP DISAPPEARING FOR DOZENS OF CHAPTERS AT A TIME PLEASE

So initially I liked Griffith as a character and found him interesting to follow on the page (especially because I was like woah I can't believe how outright gay for Guts he's written, like I knew that people shipped them but I didn't think it would be that unambiguous? Good for him, good for him, I like how bold he is about it) BUT I was also side-eyeing Griffith and distrusting him a bit from the beginning, just because I knew that SOMETHING crazy must have happened to make him and Guts the kind of mortal enemies they were now before we got into the flashbacks, and because I don't trust endlessly ambitious characters trying to make themselves increasingly powerful, and because he did some shitty stuff at times (like making Casca warm Guts up with her body heat because it was a "woman's job")... but I think I remember believing that whatever it was he was still going to be a somewhat redeemable character, or that maybe the antagonism between him and Guts was based on a misunderstanding or something. So whenever the Eclipse stuff happened, I was genuinely shocked and completely horrified (here is the post with my live reaction to that part (x)

I REALLY got mad and really disliked him after that, and it nearly made me quit reading the story, because I wasn't a huge fan of how porny that whole scene was drawn in comparison to how the previous assaults were depicted on the page / wasn't incredibly sure if it felt super in-character of him / necessary for the plot / wasn't sure if Casca would ever be allowed to come back as a character in the story again ... but I also found I couldn't stop reading it for long, I was already way too emotionally invested in the characters and enjoying the Berserk universe as a whole. And stuff like how mutilated and broken and pitiful Griffith was after the torture he endured, and the scene of child him feeling obligated to keep going with his dream because of all the people he'd lead to their deaths already, made him stay more interesting to follow and more complex to contemplate as a character to me.

ANYWAY, the longer the story went on without him showing up again (if I recall correctly it goes on for at least another like 80 chapters more or something before we even see him again after that?) the more I realized that he brings a lot of the intrigue and make the most of the plot stuff that I'm actually most interested in happen, for better or for worse. So even though I was always enraged by him basically just existing and everything he did on the page after that I was also like "!!!! there he is, FINALLY" and glad every time he showed up again, haha. I wish sometimes now that he was still a bit more of a volatile/human character as he was before he made the sacrifices, because that's definitely more interesting to watch... but I can't say I'm not still very intrigued to see what happens in the end / how everything was meant to resolve between him and Casca and Guts, and if we'll ever see a big break in his aloof facade again, even after he tried to ascend to godhood and erase all of those more vulnerable human qualities from himself.

IN SUMMARY he's not my absolute fave in this series, and that's remained the same for me the entire time (it goes Guts>Casca>Griffith for me, and that order of faves hasn't changed all throughout) ... but he's definitely an iconic character, the one that brings a lot of the drama and the intrigue, and for some reason is the one I find most fun to discuss and post and speculate about in the fandom rn

#berserk #berserk spoilers #p #ask #anon #thx!

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tj-dragonblade · 4 months

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Shipper Tag Game

Tagged by the delightful @seiya-starsniper @zzoomacroom and @carnelianmeluha, thank you!

What ship were you completely obsessed with as a teenager, but now you don’t care about anymore? I...hm. Am I willing to publicly admit to the self-insert daydreaming I did as a teen, long before my days in internet fandom? Okay I guess I kind of just did but I refuse to elaborate. I have long since moved on and I ship him with an in-universe partner at this point.

Which ship would you consider your first one? You ask a lot of my poor aging memory. I'm gonna say...before internet-accessible fandom? I was very keen on Rogue and Gambit in high school, when the 90s XMen animated series was one of my primary interests. After acquiring internet access and discovering communal fandom? 2x5, Gundam Wing. Duo and Wufei.

Your first fanfic was about which couple? Duo and Wufei

Do you remember the first couple you saw fan art of? It was probably Heero x Duo since that was the big popular ship in GW

Have you ever gotten into ship discourse? I don't think so. I am not exempt from having spoken ill of ships over the years but it's been about my opinion, not some kind of value/morality judgement and I have never gotten into fights with anyone

Did you used to have a NOTP or have one currently? There is one ship that I will class as a NOTP and it only became that after it went unexpectedly canon. I'm still willing to incorporate their canon kid into things and I have no interest in demonizing her, but I absolutely Do Not Want to see/read/hear about them having a genuine romantic attachment because the canonization pissed me off so bad. It's SaiIno from Naruto, for the curious.

Who were the last couple in the last fanfic you read? Dreamling

Currently, do you have any OTPs? Depends on your definition of OTP I suppose. To me it means 'favorite couple' more than 'can't stomach seeing them with anyone else'. Currently that's Dreamling. Currently I'm not really interested in reading about either of them with anyone else but historically as I spend longer in a fandom my tastes grow more willing to branch out, so who knows what the future holds. And I still have OTPs from each fandom I've been in (some of which predate the common use of the term 'OTP') even if they're no longer my reading/writing focus.

Is there any couple that, to this day, you are extremely mad about not getting into? Not...really? Not mad about? This is such a weird question, if I was truly taken with a ship I would have explored it? Are we asking if I'm mad about getting into a ship after the fandom has passed its peak of popularity maybe? IDK? I mean, there are occasionally characters from properties that are in formats that I don't tend to invest my time in (Podcasts, video games, long-ass long-running animes that I did not get in on the ground floor with) that catch my interest, and then I have next to no canon framework for exploring my interest, but it's not a thing I'd ever get mad about. If I really want to know more about Gale and his potential matches I'll find somewhere to read BG3 lore, y'know?

Is there any ship you used to dislike but now you think they’re kind of interesting? Mmmmmno. But I do have more than one that's gone the other way.

Do you have any ship that, in the past, would have been considered normal but now you would be cancelled over? Mmmyep. I remain unapologetic about it; that is my ship, tirelessly built with my own two hands and almost nothing predating me to influence interpretation, lovingly crafted exactly as I see it and convincingly enough to interest a handful of other folks. Thankfully none of the people leaving occasional kudos on those fics these days are raising a stink about the 'problematic' elements.

What is your favourite crack ship? Lord of the Lost's Judas album gave me serious serious Jesus/Judas vibes, but that's not really crack so much as quote-unquote blasphemy. I am going to steal Seiya's answer of Tony the Tiger x The Grinch, because I am hard-pressed to think of anything else that would qualify.

What is the couple you read the most fanfics about? Currently? Dreamling. I tend to hyper-focus on one fandom at a time and when I'm lucky enough to ship the popular pairing, there is Far Too Much to spend my limited free time on and little reason to invest any of it elsewhere.

What do most of your ships have in common? I think the broadest way to sum up the widest swathe of similarities is that I generally enjoy a dynamic of Reserved x Exuberant, or to pull back a little further still, of Complementary Opposites.

What do you absolutely hate in a ship? Hate very rarely enters into it. Lack of chemistry, I guess? But that is a very subjective criterion. For every 'But why would you ship them?' I can ask, someone will have an answer.

Tagging, no obligation, tag me in your existing post if you've just done it: @danikatze, @zalia, @esperata, @staroftheendless, @rooftopwreck, @aquilathefighter, @chaosheadspace, @ginoeh, @macavitykitsune

#tagmemes

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tokidokifish · 1 year

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garashir for ship asks!!!

HELL YEAH HERE WE GO TIME FOR SOME ~CONFESSIONS~

What made you ship it?

i don't know. listen - you may think i'm being oblique. but the fact is i heard about garashir LONG before i ever got into ds9, we're talking YEARS back; i can't even remember who i knew that shipped it, because it was just that long ago. i even tried reading a fanfic, though i can't remember what it was or even where it was, because this might have predated ao3. like even before i got into the show, something about that pairing Appealed To Me. and then, of course, i DID watch the show and Whoo Boy. i mean have you SEEN them interact. i think, honestly, what sealed the deal for me - what got be truly invested - was - well, for one thing, i tend to automatically rebel against relationships that the canon WANTS to happen; even if it's a relationship i end up liking it takes me a while to come around to it bc i'm so burned out on the vibe of "he was a guy, she was a girl, can i make it any more obvious?" that so many het romances get slapped with. i'm always looking for the characters that have the most chemistry (in my opinion) and goddamn call those bitches a science department because they have maybe the most chemistry of any two characters in that show. they challenge each other in the best way! and they just LIKE each other. what a novelty! i've got my fondness for the whole slap-slap-kiss trope, but god do shows and movies rely on it way too much these days, gag. so to have these two characters which, yeah, snip at each other sometimes, but very genuinely enjoy each other's company?? sublime. love it.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

well, i think i got into it a bit with the "they just like each other", but i think i especially like that garak liked julian right from the start. like oh, yeah, garak obviously had ulterior motives for approaching julian at first, but after that he just - continued to seek out his company! i've stated it a lot in my fics but just the fact that garak alone never seemed to find julian irritating when like everyone else on the station did, even if they came around to it - like i'm not one of those people that's like "the character you see yourself most in + the character you're most attracted to is your favorite pairing" bc i think it's bullshit, but as someone who is Very Annoying and is used to driving people away, oh god the idea of being just simply ACCEPTED by someone is like. a fuckin. drug. it's honestly probably the biggest reason i have trouble shipping julian with anyone else, even though i do enjoy his relationship with miles and i especially like writing him and kira becoming close in the later seasons. and, again, the fact that garak and julian do challenge each other, and they reflect one another in such interesting ways - and, of course, they are sooooooo normal about one another even in the context of a show that WASN'T writing them as romantically involved. 's good. 's a good ship.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

certainly it's not unpopular amongst the garashir girlies - but obviously i consider the idea that their relationship is at all "unhealthy" complete bullshit. like i made a whole post about it. genuinely i cannot even understand the mindset - other than, of course, because garak is a "bad man" (also something i disagree with, but whatever) he cannot have healthy relationships. he's "evil", so all of his relationships must be toxic. just lol. lmao, even. i think my most unpopular opinion is that i find it VERY hard to picture them hooking up early in the series and then having a relationship on the side. like it's not a deal-breaker in terms of fics, but just not my cup of tea, yanno? i think there's attraction and affection from the get, but i think PEAK garashir happens after ips/bil, and especially after dbip, when i feel like they'd've truly come to understand one another (as much as they need to, obviously; i think a big part of the garashir relationship is the idea that garak will always have secrets and julian is fine with that (is that why people think it's toxic?)). oh also i think people who shrink the age difference are cowards. they're both grown-ass adults! let them have their 20+ age gap! it's a charm point!

#garashir #thank you for this prompt it helped take my mind off things!#except for the part where something exploded halfway through

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nostradamus0 · 8 months

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20 QUESTIONS GAME

Thanks for the tag @bronzeagepizzeria!! :)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

39 works

2. What’s your total AO3 words count?

111,601 words

3. What fandoms do you write for?

whatever i’m hyperfixated on lol. my more recent writing has been for Supergirl, Once Upon a Time, and Doctor Who

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

swing low, supernova, & come to carry me home

love me like you mean it

we'll still be here (when it's all said and done)

you remind me: that it’s such a wonderful thing to love

the other side (of a world without you)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

yes, but sometimes it takes me a while because of the raging adhd. i love the community aspect of fanfic, talking about writing makes me happy, and i’m always so grateful when people leave comments and i want to say thank you!! :)

i saw someone say once that they don’t believe in responding to comments because they think people who do it are just trying to “inflate their comment count” or whatever and that is so depressing. i hope they see the light

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

probably i couldn't say: i need more time. that’s a real depressing fic, ngl. i remember i got really invested in writing it, even though the plot goes against everything i want for the characters

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

most of what i write is stupidly fluffy and/or sappy as hell lmao. but if i had to pick the most fluffiest, i might say what kind of woman loves like this.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not really? i’ve gotten a few rude comments, but nothing super mean

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

no lol

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

i’ve never written a crossover. i’ve written, and have in progress, fics based on other media, but no actual crossovers.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes! i'm sure they did a great job but i don't speak russian so i can't actually tell

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

yes, a very long time ago, and it’s lost now. the internet is not always forever. save things if you don’t want to lose them, kids

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

what kind of sick question is this

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

all of them lmao. seriously though, i started a Finding Neverland supercorp AU and i dream desperately of finishing it, but likely never will.

16. What are your writing strengths?

i’m first and foremost a poet, so i’m good with sentence-level things like diction and the way lines flow and sound. alliteration and i are besties. i’m also not bad with imagery/description.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

dialogue. endings. middles. beginnings. i struggle a lot with describing actions. did i mention dialogue?

honestly, when it comes to fanfic, i think my biggest weakness is my own anxiety. i have zero experience with romantic attraction or anything, so i’m always worried i’m doing a shit job portraying it and then i get caught up in my head.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i wish lol. i know bits and pieces of Polish and Spanish, but i’m only fluent in English. i’d love to find an excuse to use Polish, but that feels unlikely. i have a wip (that i haven’t touched in ages) that’ll eventually be supercorp but starts during Lena’s early childhood, and i’d love to use some Irish, but i have zero knowledge of Irish

19. First fandom you wrote for?

either Doctor Who or Once Upon a Time, i think? somewhere around 2013–2014? all that stuff is long gone, though.

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

your voice is the splinter inside me. i poured my heart into that fic, and i’m still pretty proud of the result. i started a part 2, but i’m not in a headspace right now to finish it.

no pressure tags! @mulderscully @sssammich @benwvatt @pretty-pony plus everyone who wants to because i'm sleepy and can't think all that good right now <3

#tag games

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weirdthoughtsandideas · 2 months

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So, I have rewatched Bia...

Some good news: I liked it way more than the first time! It's something with dcla shows, they need a rewatch to be appreciated more.

They do a lot of things right in this show and I see how much they cared and what they were trying to achieve with it. But, there big thing is that a lot is left unanswered. There's so much left to explore.

I think there's been a plan to have a third season, but due to the pandemic, it wasn't possible, so they had to wrap up everything quickly. But... they just did so weirdly!!

The Helena situation reminds me a lot about the Angie situation in S1 of Violetta. We as viewers know the truth the whole time, and we just wait for the characters to know. The difference here is that, Violetta finds out in season 1, and then is aware Angie is her aunt for the rest of the show. Watching S2 you almost forget she ever kept it a secret. But in Bia... she doesn't know until literally THE LAST TWO MINUTES. Again, I think the plan was to make a third season, and in that season they'd explore how it is now that Bia knows, plus Helena telling everyone else.

But it doesn't take away the fact that

PAULA HAS NOT FOUND OUT LUCAS WAS DRIVING!! Sure, Victor DID tell her and she didn't believe him. But if he told her again, or if anyone else told her, she'd probably believe them that time.

What was up with the last scene of Victor and Helena??

"Whatever happens, I love you" to Thiago is so odd too, if Helena wasn't gonna leave anyway

DAISY AND PIETRO STILL THINK SHE'S ANA THE ACTIVIST

Extremely bittersweet ending of Fundom...

Victor so abruptly leaving

Carmín and Alex suddenly becoming endgame in the last second??

So much else I can't remember with right now!!

With Bia, for me, I feel like there's always a buildup to "bigger" events. Bigger events that never end up happening. It feels like a lot of the time I felt like "that's it? That's all they're gonna do?"

At the same time, there's a lot of good ideas here. Bia does fix a lot of problems previous shows had, and that's good! But despite doing that, I don't feel as entertained as I am with the other shows. I've discussed before that I feel like the humor in this show is more planned. They SAY stuff that sound silly and funny, but they don't act on it. And when they act on it, it's for a video where they do a challenge, where it's planned humor, where you expect someone to get cake in their face or decorate a guitar in a silly way. And maybe this makes the show more realistic - absolutely. But... I don't know, for me, I just didn't find it as funny as previous shows.

I also think that, just because a show "fixes the problems of the previous ones" does not automatically make it "better". Sometimes, a show can be TOO perfect, and then it can almost become boring because what's there to discuss? It's weird, because, of course I don't WANT stupid decisions, but... sometimes characters need to act a little stupid for something to happen. And when they act stupid here, it's either due to a pretty reasonable reason, or not so stupid as they first find it to be, or it's solved quickly.

I also do not think social media plots are that interesting. It IS relatable, because we all have seen youtubers like the ones at Laix, for example. Youtube drama like this happens. But I just don't find social media plots as interesting. I never found the social media plots as fun in the previous shows, either. The only thing interesting is that, watching the shows in chronological order, you see how social media evolves.

With all of this said, I need to say I think a majority of the characters are really charming and fun to see. They have great chemistry with each other, and I root for almost everyone to succeed. The characters I don't like are characters you're supposed to not like, and even then, they humanize most of them so you can see why they act the way they do.

Ships wise, I'm not as invested as in previous shows, but I do find most ships cute. Binuel is the most healthy main character pairing and they are adorable. Thiana has my heart, I love their progression. Daisy and Pietro are really cute, too. I think Pixie is a lesbian, but I like the dynamic between her and Luan.

I'm sorry to say, I do not like Chiara and Guillermo. I don't know what the general thought about them are, since the Bia fandom is significantly smaller than the others, but I get uncomfortable with their age gap and I didn't really feel it between them at all.

I don't think any relationship Alex had was that fun either. Carmín and Mara should've dated each other, thank you.

So... this was how I felt about Bia after this rewatch. A lot of missed potentials that I am not sure if I could blame the writers, because I think they WANTED another season but couldn't. IF they had another season, I think all plots could have been solved, nothing would have felt rushed and they could have brought everything together in a nice knot. As I mentioned, I always waited for something bigger to happen, and then I never felt like it did. But it's still a very sweet show and I can see the love they put into it!

#sara gives bia a second chance #disney bia

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