#i didnt reread this so i hope i made sense

[the-gayest-tree-you-ever-did-see]

what is this jean/Jeremy/Kevin thing it looks interesting and the art is cool

oh boy oh boy!!!!!!!! i am absolutely going through it anon. so basically there is this book series called all for the game by nora sakavic that you should totally read (the first book is called the foxhole court -- but please check out a list of trigger warnings for it because it is very heavy and deals with a lot of serious and painful topics. i myself have had to disconnect for some of the scenes and come back when i was ready; its completely okay to do so, or to not read the books at all if its uncomfortable). its about gay athletes, guys just going through the absolute worst, the yakuza, fucked up families, a running game of how pathetic can you get answered in 15 different ways by each person, fucked up relationships, all not-so-neatly packaged into a completely made up fictional sport. (its funny because i am NOT a sports person and barely even understand cricket even though i watch it all the time, but i know the rules of exy forwards, backwards, and inside out. its that serious.)

i also need to warn you that the first book is slow. the second book is also kind of slow. i personally didnt have any trouble with it because im more of a character reader and aftg had PLENTYYY to keep me busy, but i think its a fair warning if youre sensitive to pace. however. the payoff is so incredibly worth it. its an amazing read with obsession-worthy characters, detailed and balanced plot beats, flowing and natural dialogue, very creative sports , and the relationships will make you want to reread it twenty thousand times. the romance is also the slowest burn to ever burn. if youre going in for romance at the start, you Will Not Get what you want -- but you will get it. i think we as a fandom focus on the romances a lot (im new so dont take my word for it) but its 1) because we're tumblr dont come and 2) because the romances and relationships are incredibly interesting to see through the lens of the books and vice versa. what i really love most (and youll see this in the ec doc) is that it feels like each and every choice was deliberately made by the author to make the book. like. down to the ice cream flavor they get at one point. especially with the sunshine court, i feel like i can see exactly where she made a choice and what mightve happened if that choice wasnt made. its intoxicated to read. it feels like breathing and it feels like drowning.

i just read the sunshine court (where jean and jeremy are more from) so thats what all the recent stuff has been, but you should read the foxhole court series first for it to make sense. i think tsc is 100000x times better and better written than tfc but you have to work for it lol. and!!!!! the author is on tumblr (@/korakos)! also if you do read it, please tell me!!!!!! you can keep sending anons or you can dm me or you can come to my house and live in my room but tell me!!!!! theres also an extra content doc (thanks @jeansyvesmoreau for sending this to me) between the series' (so after the kings men, before the sunshine court) that you should definitely definitely read. but im getting ahead of myself.

i hope that helps?? or at least doesnt hurt. if you liked the raven cycle by maggie stiefvater, i think this is a good step up. let me know if you have any questions at all!!

okay ive been normal for this whole thing, ranting and incoherent noises below cut:

ANON ITS SOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD ITS SO GOOD. ITS SO GOOD. i told mel this but i cant possibly say i love these books because its not necessarily love. its not something i can explain but youll get it if you read it. there is a piece of my soul that was carved out, reformed, and then put back into me by nora sakavic. i dont think ill ever be the same again. i need a therapist who has read these books so they can understand exactly what im going through. each character was like a bomb to me. jean moreau is like a straitjacket. they mean so much to me. theyre nothing. i hate them. i need to feed them breakfast. OUGHHHHHHHHORGHEURGHEOGH. there is so much grief entangled with them but they are so vibrant and full of life it hurts. i cant stop thinking about them. i finished tsc yesterday and ive been sobbing ever since. i am dead serious. i cried myself to sleep last night thinking about one of the characters. i need you to know how real i am being.

i think if i meet nora sakavic i will probably kill her. just fully black out and kill her and not even know it. so i wont meet her for the better! but i need this to be out there. my fingers hurt from typing all this but know that there is MORE in my head. so much more. i am fit to burst with it all. love you anon thanks for asking

#asks #the tree speaks #ily anon #aftg #all for the game #the sunshine court #nora sakavic

[sapnapstummy]

🔥🔥 sapnap

Finally wrote the sapnap treatment essay I've been thinking about for a while

Tw for fatphobia and homophobia under the cut

I feel like I with never be able to fully articulate what I'm trying to say but I gonna give it a go.

Sapnap in general has been treated really differently in this fandom than Dream and George, while they've all had their share of bad treatment, sapnaps is different for a few reasons. Fatphobia is the biggest one off the bat for me. I know there's a lot of new people who weren't around for Texas sapnap, so I'll try to summarize. Sapnaps always been a liked a little less just due to the fact that he doesn't feature in as many videos and has less videos up. But sapnap faced so much fatphobia in 2020 especially September/November if I remember correctly, this coincided with the huge burst of the dsmps popularity and the dsmp becoming a bit more mainstream, it was also the time when tubbo was getting a lot of bodyshaming and sexualization too.

Looking back at the fanart of this era, there was hardly any sapnap fanart that reflected what sapnap actually looked like in real life (the fandom still has a problem with drawing people skinnier than they are, which is prevalent in all fandoms and has been an issue for a really long time). After sapnap moved in with Dream he lost weight and during the karlnap meetups he was getting a lot more positive reactions, suddenly now that his cheeks were a little less round he's hot instead of cute (or "friend shaped" or "looks like he give nice hugs" or other back handed compliments, god forbid people who aren't skinny be called attractive) and there were a lot of "I'm proud of him" and "he's so much healthier now" posts going around that really showed how people really viewed his weight loss. But fatphobia is never just about someone's weight there's always other aspects aswell. The idea that sapnap was grosser than Dream or George continues even now. Sapnap does gross things sure but he's also clean too, it goes back into putting people into defined boxes. Dream multiple times talked about how clean sapnaps room is, and even just looking at the effort that sapnaps put into his stream room it's clear that sapnaps not this purely messy slob, also during George's birthday stream at Hannah's house sapnap was constantly washing/rinsing his hands. The idea that sapnap is soooo much grosser that the rest of the dteam was tied into the fatphobia, especially considering that multiple times is was said that George wouldn't shower for weeks (but if you called him gross for that then you're ableist)

As I've said before this fandom (and the general young online community) has the tendency to put people into character boxes and give them set traits, they fall into the trap of black and white thinking and can't entertain any grey areas. This is especially apparent with the biphobia dream, and other multispec people, face. There's a lot of "clocking" gay people and "tells" that young people use as a way to determine who is queer and who isn't. Saying that queer people look a certain way has always been a way to alienate people, and it's homophobic, full stop. Whether it's denying that someone is queer because of they way they look/act, or if it's insisting that people are queer, it never has been and never will be a fool proof way to "figure them out" (and it's speculating sexualities which is incredibly invasive).

I'm not going to get into a sexuality debate and I'm not speculating sapnaps sexuality, but sapnap has always read somewhat queer to me (as in relatable as a queer person) and at the very least he has always been very vocally supportive. He's never shied away from play flirting with his friends, he's an adamant homiesexual, and he's always been supportive of dnf. The notion of "sapnap is homophobic and hates dnf and he hates his queer fans" has always been unfounded.

Something that I've seen people say a lot is that karlnap/dreamnap/any sapnap ship with another man, is never going to happen because sapnap is so straight (as if shipping always has to be serious) and it usually comes off as somewhat defensive, I see it a lot after a lot of ship content happens, like the georgenap meetup or the karlnap meetups. People use "sapnap is straight" as sort of a shut down for ship content they don't like. I'll never forget the post seriously calling sapnap "the straightest man ever" and including a picture from the time sapnap was blushing while watching karl change. It comes off as "I don't see you as queer so clearly you aren't" which feeds from the putting people in boxes.

The young queer community has such a hard time viewing queer people as more than skinny attractive feminine white people from progressive areas. Being a queer person born and raised in the southern usa (in a red county in a red district in a red state with a homophobic governor with homophobic laws) I see so much dismissiveness towards the south and marginalized people in the south. Years ago I was in the group of queer people that didn't look queer because we couldn't look queer.

Sapnap is from Texas, he's a southern boy, he used to have a Texas flag hanging up in his room. He's also a sweaty gamer who yells and plays aggressively. He doesn't fit into the twinky gayboy that people try to put George and Dream into, he doesn't fit into the stupid boxes that define what's gay, so obviously he's so straight (especially because he like women and when you like women as a man you're only allowed to be straight because multispec isn't real it's just a middle point before people realize who they truly are, right)

Anyway, this is getting really long and I haven't even mention everything I could talk about, but I'm gonna end it here. To summarize, people mistreat sapnap because they can't fit him into predefined boxes and they don't have any nuance, and I think they should take some time to reevaluate people and the way they think about and treat others <3

#discourse #blazeanswers #fire emoji hot takes #i didnt reread this so i hope i made sense

[smol-tired-binch-blog]

Sometimes I think I must consume media wrong because I don't remember The Lottery by Shirley Jackson fucking me up

Like sure I read it and was like 'wait hang on, what- oh dear.' but I didn't have the 'Dude That Was So Fucked Up I Am Fundamentally Changed As A Person' experience everyone else apparently had

And that ain't a flex btw this ain't a "oh I can read the most fucked up stuff and feel NOTHING" kinda bullshit I just. Wasn't that deeply affected lmao

#but also i got a B in English Literature A Level so I must be doing somethin right lmao #smol speaks #im trying to think why it didnt really mess with me. it wasnt a 'shocking twist' it's Where The Story Went to me #then again i dont remember many specifics from when i was younger. hell i barely remember the last week. i do know we read it though #i dont remember what conclusions i reached or what we even discussed. however i CAN think of a story that did affect me as a kid: #Lola Rose by Jacqueline Wilson. I read it in primary school and have reread it multiple times. i felt such a connection with Lola Rose #she was so similar to me even though we also had differences (her fear and hatred of sharks vs my love of them) (though her fear made sense #i dont think ive ever empathized with a character so much. and that book introduced me to the concept of abusive parents i think. #the idea of a parent who didnt simply love you but sometimes went about it wrong or made mistakes. but one who *actively* hurt their family #rereading that book again as an adult is heartbreaking ESPECIALLY the 'Voice of Doom' sections which *holy fuck i relate to*. there's such #dread and fear in that book but luckily there is hope and joy!! but God above the shit that girl deals with. anyway maybe reading a story #about a weird festival that ends with a stoning doesnt hit as hard when youve read about a girl seeing the bruises on her mother's chest #in the bath and having to tell her 5 year old brother they ran away from Dad because he hurt Mum and his response is 'but she deserves it' #abuse mention #better tag that huh. yeah sorry i put half the post in the tags again GOD i should make an actual Lola Rose post

[sereniv]

Not a terf genuinely asking

Anon ask: if trans women aren't male what are they transitioning from

EDIT: Buckle up this is long. but i hope i was able to answer the question?

Ill reply about trans women but this obviously applies to other trans people too (myself included)

It can be complicated when it comes to sex and gender and what science says and what different societies believe.

Because science says "We have common combinations (what western society says is biological male/female) but there are also less common yet still significant combinations (intersex people/and others) that happen that boils down to male and female being a social construction rather than a biological truth"

And our society says "I lack the education and experience of those who fit outside what i believe is male and female, therefor i have a hard time being open to said education and experience. This is mainly because of colonization, white supremacy, and corruption (bigotry) in science.

So gender, how one presents ones self, gender roles, sex- the way we categorize these things are limiting, because it is a fact that not everyone fits in those boxes

Not to mention the more accepted trans, intersex, and other people who fit outside societies idea of male and female, the more we will see that its not small minority of people. They are not anomalies.

So what is a male? Society says its someone with XY chromosomes exclusively. Society also likes to say that someone born with a penis is male, someone with higher testosterone.

Science says, that there are people with different types of chromosomes makeup like xxy or xy females. People who have a penis but also a uterus. Someone with testicles and a vagina. Whos chromosomes can vary

And we still put them in boxes, and for intersex people that can mean invasive sex changing procedures without their consent.

No one is looking into what chromosomes people have, they just look at a childs genitals and decide by the vagina or length of penis/clitoris

So societies idea of male is limited and even new. Sciences idea is naturally complex, but there can still be bias within the community (as there is racism, sexism, etc)

So a trans women born with a penis and xy chromosomes. Society says shes male, science might put her in the category of male.

So to many, and maybe even to herself, a trans woman can transition from male. A sterotypical common combination of what one considers Male.

But what I like to think of in general, is that we should be born as people. A baby. A baby with a penis, a baby with xy chromosomes But what about male is so important?

Because when we say that one is attracted to men, usually what comes to mind is someone with a penis. But what if a man was born with a deformity, and has no penis? Or had to have it removed due to some disease.

Is he now not a man? Because some people (terfs) would move back to chromosomes, yet you dont know for sure what someones chromosomes are when you date

so what really makes a man?

Is it the roles one has? or the socialization? That changes from place to place from era to era.

So it comes down to, a human person with traits that typically are boxed together and labled Male.

We are born babies. and we should be taught the same values regardless of our genitals, and we should be allowed to wear whatever color or clothing style we want.

It all comes down to the difference between Male and Female can be vast and it can be the same and it depends on who you ask

So a trans women might feel that she used to me a man. That she was born a boy, and felt like a boy, up until she didnt. Realizing that the way she saw herself was different than how society sees her. And thus begins her transition from her definition and reality as Male, to her definition, and reality as a Woman.

On the other hand, maybe you have a trans women who was born a girl, but no one else saw it that way. And so by her definition and reality as a girl, transitions to what fits. Aka: She changes her name or goes on hormones or gets surgery or changes clothes or even just changes pronouns. Until she feels that it reflects how she percieves herself

Because at the end of the day, cis women can be hairy, they can be butch, they can have muscles and angles, some have no uterus some have no reproductive organs at all, etc.

But because people want to define womenhood by trauma experience, it warps into white christian view of what a woman is, which ends up targeting poc and intersex people.

What should define womanhood is euphoria. The fight for being a woman. Not trauma, but togetherness. And acknowledging that what society says is a woman is not a fact. Not by science, but more importantly not by reality

So yeah, sometimes trans women do transition from men. And sometimes they simply transition into what they need to be percieved as to thrive emotionally and mentally

Also something i forgot is socialization and the patriarchy. Terfs like to claim that trans women grow up male, but fail to understand that if applied to other scenarios it falls apart and just really isnt an argument

For example. Someone who grows up with heterosexuality everywhere, isnt socialized as straight, they are socialized with homophobia.

Even someone who might grow up a boy and identifies their past self as male, should not have to define the person they are today

Theres a lot of things we grow up with in this society, bigotry being one of them. This doesnt mean you grow up a bigot, but you grow up with it like on tv. All it takes is realization of predjudices or ignorance, to change how you view and interact with things

so a trans woman who identifies her born self as male, and so was technically socialized as male, doesnt mean that that is an inherent truth to her person. Because once she realizes that "Hey, actually I think im a girl" her mind has already started experiencing the constriction that is transphobia and transmisogyny. She notices bias that include her now.

Just because you are socialized one way doesnt mean it sticks, but it also doesnt define you, or doesnt have to be. Also socialization is complicated and has a lot of factors in it like how someone was brought up. did society socialize them or the parents or both etc etc.

Gender Euphoria will always top connecting gender through trauma. Because not every gendered trauma is the same.

Black women historically and now have had a very different experience than white women when it comes to misogyny, sexism, or even being seen as human let a lone a "proper" woman.

And historically, when white women were trying to gain rights they left out black women. so their womanhood is not the same pain and trauma and experience.

Thats why misogynoir as a term exists. Because the trauma that they face is different from the trauma that other poc face or white people. And that is just like the tip of the iceberg.

So instead, i think womanhood should be based in positive connection. That doesnt mean womanhood is always positive. but it means that the relation to each other is based off of euphoric sense of gender. If it feels like home, then your a woman.

Womanhood should be fighting for women, whoever may fit under that. Not truama as a whole (since everyones is different), but collective pride. It should be hearing being refered to as a woman and feeling joy and connection.

And what makes that different from any gender? you can just say anything and now youre it?

Thats whats so great about it. Its widening the spectrum of identity, yet still keeping connections under common frameworks.

Example: a cis woman, being happy and comfortable, resonates with other women in all forms, and is proud of who she is. Then shes looking around and she sees the cis men, and that community is nice but woman still feels at home.

then she sees the trans men. same thing, shes not a man shes a woman. Then she sees the nonbinaries, and that kind of calls to her

And suddenly, she has one foot in the woman community and one in the nonbinary. She now has a new community that she feels euphoria with and fights with but she is still a woman. She is both. Seperately and as one. And really only something she can experience, but she sees other women in front of her, experincing the same thing except in their own unique way.

And shes allowed this because she has oppened herself up to defining her version of womanhood without changing others, and if she had closed herself off and defined womanhood by her genitals or what she looked like or even the pain of descrimination, there would be people excludes from her idea of what the community should consist of, and then she would never feel that euphoria

and to only fight for one portion of womanhood. because once youve got equal marriage, gotten rid of sexism, then there are still racism left. theres still intersex people. you leave other women out of the fight because all of them isnt welcome in your definition.

if that makes sense

I am WAY off track lol I am very adhd and autistic. even reading this back its barely coherent so sorry. someone translate for me lol

but yeah, trans women transition from their former selves, to their current selves. And i dont think theres any point to looking any further than that

A trans woman is a woman, because that is how she percieves herself. Holds herself. How she connects with other women. Her experience of womanhood is inherent, because she is a woman.

#ask #anon #WHEW #i hope this makes sense i try so hard to be coherent #lol what if this didnt answer the question and just made things more confusing im sorry #theres a few things i can tell are just stupid but i can not change bc #ive overwhelmed myself by rereading what I wrote #its too much words

[ashesandhackles]

HP Reread - Order of Phoenix (Part 3)

Chapter 25, 26,27,28 - OOTP

Antonin Dolohov murdered the Prewett brothers. He will later kill Remus. He is repeatedly implied to be a very deadly Death Eater, and it is his slashing spell that will hurt Hermione in the climax of OOTP.

Harry feeling horrified and guilty at Bode's death: "How come we didnt recognise the Devil's Snare? We have seen this before, we could have stopped this from happening":(

Hermione deciding to send Skeeter a letter due to the seriousness of the breakout, and how much there is need to change the narrative. lol at her being vague with her plans that makes Ron grumble: "would it kill her to tell us what she is up to?"

Lee being an absolute king in trying to turn Umbridge's decree against her. However, he gets a bleeding hand for his effort and Harry has to recommend him essence of murtlap (an info Lee relays to Fred and George, which helps their products)

Neville improving in DA classes so unnervingly that he is only behind Hermione in mastering the Shield Charm.

LOLLL the entire scene at Puddifoot, where Harry feels like if Roger and his girlfriend kept kissing, he would be expected to compete. And then he looks up to avoid looking at them (or Cho), and cherubs throw confetti in his face.

Harry grabbing the sugar bowl when Cho takes her hand off the table. Harry laughing when he finally understands that Cho is jealous of Hermione. Oh god. The second hand embarrassment is real.

Hermione cornering Rita is such fun. XD I love that she makes use of resources at hand - even if she doesnt think much of the Quibbler herself. (Also, she took Sirius' advice, and kept the meeting in Three broomsticks instead of Hog's Head).

The breakout had gifted Harry a desire to do something, and he talked about the most traumatic night of his life so far to a journalist he did not trust on account of that. This also shows his faith in Hermione's facilitation of his need for justice. These two will be scary in the Ministry together.

also, Hermione knowing that Ginny has been sneaking around with their brooms since she was 6, and her implicit criticism of the way people talk about Ron: "at least my happiness doesnt depend on goalkeeping ability"

"You are banned as long as Umbridge is in the school" - Ginny's association with hope, with future, and comfort.

Angelina not letting Ron resign and Harry giving Ron the space to go to bed and pretend to sleep if he needed to <3

Harry being impressed with Ginny's performance and then going, "I would have been faster tho" the audacity of this boy XD

"An interview? What do you mean?" "I mean a reporter asked me questions and I answered her" and Harry throws the Quibbler at her. LMAO.

Cho apologising to Harry:"The interview was so brave, it made me cry" and Harry wishing that she hadnt cried over it. Ugh, this compellingly messy dynamic.

This is such a hard book for Harry. Being so afraid that you would wake up and look like Voldemort. He bites down to not make any noise during his visions, just because Seamus had recently stopped seeing him as a nutter.

Snape once again projecting on Harry - he brings up the idea that Harry seeing dreams and visions of Voldemort makes him feel "special, important". And Harry reflects it back to him, "No, that's your job, isnt it?" "That is my job." Stop your power struggle with a 15 year old Snape XD

Harry did it! He focused on Snape in between memories, and pushed him back with a protego! And Harry sees Snape memories: that imply a domestic abuse situation in his house (hook nose man shouting at a cowering woman while a boy cried in corner), a clear case of neglect (Snape shooting down flies in a room), and a sense of injured masculinity (a girl laughing at a scrawny boy's attempt to get ona bucking broomstick). Snape pushes Harry back at the last memory, and I wonder if that girl was Lily.

Snape also compliments this, "Well that's an improvement. I dont remember asking you to do a Shield Charm, but it was no doubt, effective."

The lesson end at Trelawney's screaming, Snape runs out and so does Harry. Sneaky parallel.

I really love the description of Trelawney to set the scene. My favorite descripton is her innumerable shawls were coming down from shoulders giving the impression "she is falling apart at the seams."

Dumbledore appointing Firenze is such a power move Imao.

a twinkling red star winked at him - reference to Mars, which consistently shows up in text again and again with Harry. Firenze brings attention to this, and the fact that Harry is directly under it is nice way in text to remind us there is a war coming.

"There are things more important than keeping a job" and Hagrid's hands shake. Because this job has been something he wanted, something his name was cleared for.

We get to know that Marietta's mother has been helping police Hogwarts fires, and Willy Widdershin of the regurgitating toilets was let off after he gave info on Harry.

Percy laughing at Fudge's sarcasm, and Harry for the first time expresses anger towards Percy in his internal monologue. Before he was just shocked and confused.

Kingsley modifiying Marietta's memory, to corroborate with Dumbledore's story. That man is quick. He did it immediately after Dumbledore says they can't prove 6 months worth of meetings.

ooh, it is implied that Fawkes' singing kept the four unconscious on the floor and the moment Fawkes leaves with Dumbledore, they are all awake.

Fred and George sending Montague into Vanishing Cabinet and how Montague gets out (nearly killing himself by Apparating) and gives Malfoy the information needed for the plot of HBP.

Snape the nerd, writing foot long answers. I love how much teenage Snape's body language is entirely different from adult Snape, and how much the adult Snape is a construction. Teenage Snape will lie on grass and scream hexes and swear words at you.

James literally traces and embellishes Lily's initials like a dork lol.

I deep dive into Marauder dynamics in chapter here.

"Wormtail was the only one who didnt laugh" : how cute is it that Remus laughs at his own dry joke XD

There is a strong theme of masculinity in this chapter, and James is making a performance of it with the snitch, with messing up his hair and Harry notices that this is done for the girls by the lake. (Harry wondered why James doesnt tell Wormtail to get a grip, and Sirius does it few seconds later much more unkindlyXD)

The power dynamic of the scene is framed with description of Sirius as "dog who scented a rabbit" and underlines it further by Remus' implicit disapproval (that he avoids by staring into a book, my poor bean) and Peter's anticipation (Sirius line in POA comes to mind about how Peter was drawn to the biggest bully in the playground)

Interesting note about James: he uses household spells like Scourgify for an attack. I can imagine him being similarly creative later in the Order. (it gives me such ideas of Transfiguration being his fav subject)

Interesting to me that even though both James and Sirius are on the scene, it is James Lily is consistently addressing.

Snape attempts a workshop Sectumsempra on James' cheek (clearly not the fully developed version) and James turns around and uses Snape's own spell against him. This moment alone speaks to such history in this dynamic.

Lily's "10 things I hate about you" speech is interesting because she also noticed that he was playing with the snitch (something he had nicked). She was also watching him.

Snape, emasculated by the scene, tries to exert power over one thing he has power over: his friendship with Lily. He uses Lily's otherness in wizarding world to reclaim power in the scene, and Lily throws it back at him by calling him the nickname his bullies call him and commenting on his underpants (therefore his class otherness). Utter dissolution of a friendship.

Lily channels her hurt and frustration at Snape's rejection of her onto James when he tries to help, and does a "10 things I hate about you" speech.

James tries to deal with being rejected publicly by Lily by directing his anger at Snape and threatening to take his pants off, in line with masculinity theme of this chapter.

Harry making Dudley-James associations. He will integrate a more complicated view of his father in later chapters (where he associates James with Ron), but this moment, where Harry rejects hypermasculinity displayed by James (but is keen to not reject James himself), is an important moment of moral growth for Harry.

OOTP - Chapter 29,30, 31, 32,33

Cute trip opening scene when Hermione is drawing up colour coded timetable for the boys (and nagging Harry), Ron brightening at the thought of evenings off and Crookshanks trying to get Harry's attention since he is brooding.

Harry is not only questioning James' morality, he is also questioning Sirius' ('look at what he was like himself') and Remus ('he just let it happen'). Later in the chapter, he wonders - "did he want to be like his father anymore?"

looking at Mrs Weasleys easter eggs, a handsome one with snitches on them makes Harry feel emotional. The way chocolate is tied to comfort + longing and Mrs Weasley functioning as an echo of a home.

lmao the scene where Harry admits he wants to go to Umbridge's office is peak Hermione as mum, Harry as sulky teenager and Ron as Arthur to Hermione's Molly scene.

Harry is so hypervigilant in Snape's class for his taunts, it clearly affects his performance in class. Because Snape is ignoring him, he could whip up a decent E level potion (which ofc Snape shatters).

"He attacked Snape for no good reason - well just because you said you were bored" - the apologetic tone Harry says this in and Sirius' quick "I'm not proud of it" shows how careful they are with each other. It is a big step for Sirius to admit he is not proud of his behaviour (because 2 years before, he all but snarled "served him right"), and this is the influence of Harry's distress. Remus also notes this with a "sideways glance" at him. (Remus also, something he hasn't shied away from admitting, owns his own culpability but is also harsher with himself -"did i ever tell you to lay off him?" and Sirius tries to correct/comfort that with "you made us feel ashamed of ourselves")

Harry knowing Hermione's nagging face lolll ("she fixed Harry with a beady eye and opened her mouth with a determined air") and he just interuppts before she starts lol.

hermione predicting Ron will do well without Fred and George around to watch <3

"Kind of makes you wish we had Norbert back, doesn't it?" yes, Harry. Norbert would be far preferable. I really am not sure why we have a storyline where Dumbledore sends envoys to giants so they can have them as allies (as actual thinking beings with political weight) and then write an entire chapter about how Hagrid is stupid for trying to "civilise" Grawp with English lessons. Why are you writing marginalisation like this, where you validate how "savage" Grawp is? Just a book ago, there is critique on how giants face prejudice via Hagrid and Madame Maxime, but then you're like, "maybe the prejudice has some sort of weight cos giants are brutal actually".

Cant believe we get an entire chapter of this and not Ron's victory over Slytherins and in Quidditch.

More on the giant's rant that I have and my absolute loathing for this Grawp chapter: Hagrid's Tale is one of the few times Hagrid is allowed to act as a competent adult - going with Maxime off country to send envoys to giants. For once, he is not someone the trio constantly has to take care of or save from trouble (it's not something I particularly mind, but I do have a problem here - where there is an additional layer of the fact that Hagrid hasn't had formal education. This entire chapter - he is just made a joke of and it reinforces the prejudices wizarding world shouldnt be having)

I really love the opening scene of Ron basking in the glory of having won the match, and he sits under the very same beech tree rumpling his hair, and Harry grins affectionately at being reminded of his father. It shows that Harry is beginning to integrate parts of his father - from seeing him as Dudley at end of SWM to seeing Ron-like qualities in him.

Cho crying out of temper and kicking her broom away after Gryffindor won the match : what a competitive streak. Love it.

"Hagrid's monster mates" - once again, the narrative needs to pick what giants are meant to be.

Griselda Marchbanks, the one who resigned from Wizengamot in protest against the High Inquistor appointment, is apparently friends with Neville's gran. Daily Prophet snidely said she had links with "subversive goblin groups".

Harold Dingle and his powdered dragon claw and Eddie Carmichael and his brain stimulant trade XD

also ron mothering Hermione asking her to eat a decent meal so she can have good sleep <3

ooh, Hermione wondering if she did justice on Cheering Charms (its the lesson she missed in POA when she lost track of time). I wonder if not attending the actual class makes her feel nervous, and not like she had enough time with the information.

Umbridge's "nasty smile" when she sees Harry's patronus in DADA exam: a hint towards her actual involvement in sending Dementors after Harry.

The confrontation between Hagrid, Umbridge and McGonagall is beautifully written. Really love the atmosphere here with the use of lights from the castle, the hut, the moon over the darkness of the lawn to set up the mood of the scene. The moment McGonagall was lit by the stunning spells sent at her? Eerie.

Harry staring at Parvati's hair while sleep-deprived in history exam cos there was something gold in it. He sure likes shiny hair.

there is a question in history of magic exam about how legislation of wand: whether it better controlled the goblin riots in 18th century. The politics of this is brought up in Deathly Hallows, where griphook brings up how wizards have denied other creatures rights of expanding their magical powers by refusing to share wandlore.

Harry's sheer blinding panic and fear in this chapter hurts to read.

I actually really love how bad the communication is between Harry and Hermione in this chapter. Where, in her desperation to stop him, she calls out his "saving the people thing" in an effort to make him understand that Voldemort's playing into an instinct in Harry, and Harry obviously feels stupid about the way she calls it out and thinks she is criticising it as a an attention seeking thing. It makes him less sympathetic to her appeal that it could be a trap, but the scene anyway ends with him conceding to check with her and recognising her offer to come with him to Umbridge's office as "mark of loyalty."

Kreacher's hands are injured cos he injured Buckbeak. There was a lovely Tumblr post I read about this moment, about how combination of Sirius' indifferent cruelty (towards kreacher) and love (for Buckbeak, Harry) is what pushed him towards the events of his death. It perfectly captures his duality.

The conversation between Snape and Umbridge is hilarious. Snape offering his sympathies to Umbridge in case she wanted to poison Harry ("venoms act too fast to give victims time for truth telling"), the ironic bow before he leaves and telling Crabbe to loosen his hold on Neville because if he suffocates, there will be "lots of tedious paperwork" LOL.

Harry noticing that Hermione was not really crying immediately, and knowing that she is scheming XD These two will be a force in the Ministry. Imagine Harry looking at Hermione trapping someone ina courtroom and being like, "yeah, saw that one a mile away. Sucks to be you buddy."

Man, Hermione is having quite a day. Her inexperience with a plan she is making up as she goes along showed, as well as her putting her foot in her mouth. Umbridge is a threat she has known and assessed well, the centaurs, less so. She will grow from this in DH, when she makes bigger elaborate plans with failsafes on the spot. (For example, the Lovegoods escape)

Ginny being astonished that a herd of centaurs left Harry and Hermione behind - suggesting familiarity with the centaur ways. Interesting character note! (also how her and Luna also clearly pay attention in Care of Magical Creatures, as they both remind the trio of Thestral traits - that they are good for finding places riders are looking for, and Harry and Hermione being covered in blood will lure more of them). I wouldnt have paid attention to this detail without @whinlatter lovely WIP "Beasts".

Chapter 34, 35,36,37,38

Proof of Ron, Hermione and Ginny's loyalty and gutsiness: they are willing to ride an invisible horse for hours in the air to help Harry. (also Luna is so cute, sitting all in side saddle)

Harry thinking the veil had a strange beauty to it, and that he felt a strong inclination to walk through it is an indication of his fascination with death. He isn't the only one: Luna, Neville, Ginny are all similarly entranced. Only Ron and Hermione are not and they drag everyone away.

Sirius' knife, Harry's gift is melted by the Love Room in Department of Mysteries :(

Ginny wanting to watch the bird's progress is so cute. Such a lovely detail - I never noticed this interest in creatures before. But she consistently thinks in terms of animals, she even thought the brains they initially saw were fish. ("his eyes are as green as fresh pickled toad" anyone?)

how interesting that the Prophecy Hall is beyond the room full of Time-Turners.

interesting note of how some prophecies having liquid glow (Harry's felt warm as he touched it) and how some prophecies were blown out like a night bulb. Could indicate that the events they had foretold have come to pass etc.

I love during the entire conversation with Death Eaters, you can feel Harry being hypervigilant. He notices the shifts in Bellatrix speaking and makes decisions - once he speaks Voldemort's name, he holds the prophecy tighter because given that he riled her, he expected an attempt to take it from him. And then of course, he is very "improvise. adapt. overcome" with the plan to smash shelves.

Harry's athleticism shines in these chapters where he is elbowing and ducking around Death Eater attacks, launching himself on top of them, heaving Ron when he is out and flinging him when he needs to help the others, rolling over tables to get to doors quick XD

Neville kicking aside fragments of his father's old wand when he carries Hermione. It's his "I'm gonna be my own person not defined by my father's legacy" moment, a parallel to Harry's own in this book.

I love the tiny detail that Tonks is above on the steps, firing spells down at Bellatrix. The distance she keeps, and the detail of Bellatrix and Andromeda resembling each other to the point they could be mistaken for each other, adds such a layer to this detail.

Sirius and Bellatrix are so caught up in their battle that they dont even notice that Dumbledore had arrived. Speaks to their personal history and intensity of their duel.

Harry's child-like denial is utterly heartbreaking. The way he thinks that Remus doesn't understand because he had heard whispers behind the veil, and surely people are hiding there, and that Sirius is just hiding. It is the most child-like he has been and it breaks my heart.

Remus' voice breaking as he struggled to contain Harry, speaking as though every word caused him pain, or just not being able to look at the veil:(

The moment Harry is angry that Sirius would keep him waiting. It is such a childish, entitled reaction. The boy who never expects anything from his adult figures feels like he has the space to be mad at Sirius for keeping him waiting - and then realises, that Sirius would never keep him waiting. And that's how he knows Sirius is dead.

Harry laughing at Bellatrix right after Sirius' death ("a mad laugh to match her own"): the boy really is his godfather's godson.

Bellatrix loves Voldemort, but also fears Voldemort. The moment he comes - Sirius turns from the mocking "dear cousin" to "Animagus Black." She is super keen to distance herself from Sirius in front of him and it calls to the scene later in Deathly Hallows, where she claims she never laid eyes on Andromeda after she ran away.

"We both know there are other ways of destroying a man. Merely taking your life would not satisfy me, I must admit" - contrast this with Deathly Hallows, where Dumbledore leads Harry away from Voldemort's maimed soul in the limbo. Harry feels pity for it, and even tries to save Voldemort, but Dumbledore is beyond that and this scene conveys it.

"And I'll see Sirius again.." it's not only Harry's love for Sirius that drives Voldemort out of his body, but it is also his very raw desire for death. Something he wishes once again, when he is at his parents' graves. (it is this passive ideation that Hermione grasps at the grave and why Harry's desire for Resurrection Stone terrifies her)

"You've been chasing the wrong man for 12 months, it's time you listened to sense!" Dumbledore's feelings of Sirius' fate are also encapsulated in this line. He claims responsibility for Sirius' fate next chapter, but his anger and guilt at Sirius' death is clear here.

Harry's intense guilt and hatred for himself, where he had never before wished he was someone else so intensely, that he was trapped inside his body and mind. It is this guilt, even though he expresses them this chapter, that he will carry with him in HBP and it will come out in moments like strangling Mundungus for perceived disrespect to Sirius.

"I know how you're feeling Harry" "No you dont" : it is both Harry lashing out his intense self-hatred, but also his feelings of abandonment. In his mind, if Dumbledore understood his feelings, he would not have "abandoned" him through the summer or the year. So this moment of Dumbledore reaching out in solidarity after a year of freezing him out makes Harry angry.

Harry just demolishing his office, and Dumbledore remaining calm and detached through it, until Harry himself matches Dumbledore's tone to let him out. Such a well written scene.

The chapter is good illumination of how Dumbledore's distance/detachment and big picture thinking and how it hurts people: Dumbledore locking Sirius and Harry up (Harry shouting this back at him must be a painful reminder of his time with his sister), Snape not overcoming his feelings ("some wounds run too deep for healing").

"I alone could prevent this, and I alone must be strong" - How Dumbledore rationalises his decisions, the weight of the guilt he carries, the calculations he must make. # war general.

"He saw himself in you before he had ever seen you": Voldemort destroying everyone and everything that reminds him of who he is. Strange likenesses from Voldemort is not a compliment, when he wants to be extraordinary, special and unique.

Harry thinking that if only he had just pulled back the veil, he would have seen Sirius greeting him with a laugh like a bark :(

Dumbledore trying to repair Harry's feelings of abandonment by telling him why he didn't choose Harry as a prefect.

Fred and George sending Ron mountains of Chocolate frog after the Ministry fiasco to express their care, in a book where they were harder on him is <3

Ah, that subtle implication that Harry spent hours by the lake, crying about his godfather until the sunset. :( It is gorgeously subtle writing - him getting up at sunset, and wiping his face on his sleeve.

The way the book twists our innards with Harry opening Sirius' gift. :( and how Harry hopes again, and when the hope shatters, he throws the mirror. But it is the very same mirror shard, Sirius' gift that will enable Dobby to help the trio out of the manor, where Harry would ask for help because he saw a parental figure's eye (Dumbledore).

Luna validating Harry's feeling that they were just lurking out of sight, behind the veil and it is this connection with death and understanding of afterlife that comforts Harry. That he will see Sirius again.

#hp reread #ootp #harry james potter #sirius black #ron weasley #hermione granger #ginny weasley

[spiteless-xo]

TIFF

Omg. Thank you so much for TBAW.

I had the best time. And the tuesday group chats with @shepnicolo and @theragethatisdesire just made it even better.

I really enjoyed the story and the way you planted hints all along was amazing. I haven’t figured out yet what the one big hint was that you said you put in, but hopefully i will catch it while rereading. And i will reread. I might never have the words to properly express how much i admire your writing, but i do. I do so much. I cannot fathom how you mamnged to write 300k words and had the restrin to post it chapter by chapter, every week. But thank you.

Now that it’s over: I remember you mentioned in an ask that TBAW was inspired by a book series from the 2000s that you didn’t want to name because you thought it might spoil the ending. Can you tell me what series you meant? I have been dying to know ever since then.

!!! oh my god that’s so adorable i didnt know you guys had a lil group chat 😭🥰 that’s so cute

i’m glad you enjoyed it and good luck!! 🙊

ok, and this is going to sound so unhinged but BARE WITH ME!! the book series that inspired tbaw was……….. THE HUNGER GAMES

ok so. the thing that i like the most about thg’s love triangle is that it really isn’t a love triangle. each boy kinda represents a choice/path that katniss can make, where gale represents kinda staying in that same cycle of war and peeta represents change and peace. so katniss can’t be with gale if she wants peace and vise versa so whoever she “picks” ultimately is the person that represents how she wants her life/future to look.

and i really liked that!! so i wanted to incorporate that into tbaw. we can see now that it’s finished that eren represented change and forgiveness where jean is like “doing what you’re expected to do and life is inevitable so there’s no point trying to change”?? i feel like there’s a more concise word to use to explain that but it’s escaping me atm

reader has always been about change and forgiveness because that’s exactly how she treats jean. she’s constantly trying to change the dynamic of their relationship and forgiving him for not measuring up because she thinks he can change and be better.

but then, at the same time, she treats eren based on jean’s mindset. like oh, he’s just a fuckboy so all he wants is sex. he said we’re fuck buddies and doesn’t do relationships so i’m not even gonna CONSIDER that thought. so even though eren is actively changing in front of her, she’s stuck on that thought that “eren is who he is and he’ll never change”.

it’s only after she leaves and has the chance to think for herself that she realizes that what she’s looking for in jean (and how she ultimately wants to live her life) is what eren has always given her.

i hope that makes sense?? i was so scared of revealing that The Hunger Games inspired tbaw because i feel like eren really FEELS like peeta and jean FEELS like gale and i thought it would give away the ending but idk if that’s just my perception as the author.

#tiff.ask #tbaw.fic #aot #filunara

[inevitably-ineffable-husbands]

Hi Steph, lots of love from Germany! 🩵💙🧡 In your reply to the switch theory you wrote that you think switching will come up later in s3 (instead of having happened at the end of s2. and I totally agree with that, the seasons theme was love, pining and miscommunication, that had to culminate in something 😂)

But yeah, my theory is that Aziraphale and Crowley will join/celestial-marry/ "merge/fuse"(??) in some way and become very powerful that way. (Although if they fuse probably not permanently) Because

a) they're crazy strong together

b)when discorporated in s1e5 Aziraphale says sth like "I wish I could inhabit your body, but we'd probably burst into flames" and I don't think that was a set-up for the switch in s1e6, because I think they didnt actually swap bodies just made theyre own body look like the other (I think?) Azzi's physical body couldn't withstand hellfire, right? So that's not happened yet.

c) didn't you write they started out as one character in the book writing process? And in an interview for s2 David Tennant said that usually Michael Sheen and him would compete for the same part and now they're playing the same character split into two.

...Thanks for coming to my ted talk. 😂 What do you think? Wishing you a very lovely evening! I really love reading your blog! It's so... cosy on here. AZ Fell's Bookshop vibes 💛🩵💙🧡

(Referencing this post)

Hey Lovely!

Firstly I'm SO happy you enjoy my blog! :) That's high praise to be compared to Azzie's Bookshop, oh GOSHLES!! Thank you so much!! I'm having a blast being in this fandom, feels like the heyday of BBC Sherlock, hahahh. I'm hoping this blog turns into another "light" success and people just come here to feel "at home" you know? LOL.

Secondly, yeah, having another think on the Switch Theory, now that it's been a couple months and more of my own theories have formed about S2, I lean more on the "not a fan" side of it. For me it's the erasure of the emotional impact and the IMPORTANCE of their miscommunication that The Final Fifteen gave us, and honestly, there's too many loose threads that just... can't work with that theory. After sitting on it for some time, the big one for me is that Crowley-in-the-car-getting-upset-at-the-music at the end makes NO SENSE if it was A-As-C; No one would be watching him, why continue the act? And Aziraphale's gentle touch-and-cry reaction to the kiss makes NO SENSE if it was C-As-A. I dunno. I can totally see why people support the Theory, but it's not for me. I'm a creature of "I need things to make sense" and too much DOESN'T make sense with it, is all.

And you're right, S2's theme WAS about showing us the development of their relationship, how important they are together, so that the end of E6 would DEVASTATE US, having us wanting more than ever for them to get back together. It was meant to show how truly made for each other they are, just they're two idiots sharing a single braincell and that braincell is emotionally dumb lol.

That all said, I have a similar thought as yours that I've been hemming-and-hawing about for a couple weeks after rereading my own theories to possibly clean them up a bit. While I DON'T think they will "merge" into one being, I DO think that they will combine their powers together in the penultimate episode to "win" (I say penultimate because I have hopes that the final ep will be them moving in together, but I know realistically, a climax can't happen an hour before the end in a story LOL).

BUT I also like your theory as well, because story-wise, the hints have ALREADY been dropped for it since S1, as you mentioned in your points A and B. There was no need for a switch, and I DON'T think it will happen again. BUT the purpose of the switch was to show that Crowley and Azzie's powers are COMPATIBLE. THAT is what's important here, and it sets up their Together Miracle in S2. And if we're going on the idea that in S3 they'll finally be in-sync and that they only get MORE powerful the more comfortable and "on-the-same-page" they get, well, yeah, I think Heaven and Hell will be wise to leave them be.

As for your point C, yes I did mention that, I BELIEVE in my BIG roundup meta for S4, but it might also be in my 'Crowley’s Past: Was Crowley Archangel Camael?' meta, since I recall doing a LOT of research for that, including trawling through Neil's blog for quotes. But yes, I actually recently saw the gifset with that interview, I think it's in my queue LOL. Neil did confirm ages ago, way back in S1 that early drafts of the book did have them as one character, which is why I think it's MORE likely that their powers are going to be combined instead.

Either way, I think the ONLY theory I absolutely am 100% against is the "they're going to become human" one, because I hate that the condition to their love must be "to love like a human they must be human" and that's just... UGH not on for me. I remain hopeful that that's not the route that their gonna go, since Gabe and Beez didn't become human, and it was a CLEAR mirror for the AziraCrow relationship (a foreshadowing of sorts).

And because I'm thinking of it right now and don't want to forget to write it somewhere, another thing that CONSTANTLY brought up is Alpha Centauri; I hope that they honeymoon there at the end of S3, it'll be a nice payoff for its constant referencing, LOL. And they can't do that if they're human LOL. I want them to spend the next 6000 years and beyond together <3

Thank you again so much for your ask!! Sorry I took a bit to reply, just got home from a road trip and I finally had a bit of free time to reply <3

#steph replies #good omens #good omens s2 #aziraphale and crowley's relationship arc #spoilers #switch theory #my meta #my theories #good omens meta #go meta #my thoughts

[afaramir]

LOLL i was gonna start like ‘hey there im denethor anon’ but u beat me to it. SIMILAR MINDS. Haha i read one of ur fics, was immediately smitten & was like i MUST follow them. (I’m glad i did, love the vibe of ur blog and the Flavour of ur opinions.. TASTY) so im a more recent follower but i’m gathering younger you weren’t a fan of denethor, huh? Can’t say i blame you. PJ certainly made some Decisions. he was like how do i convert a complex character into The most loathsome creature ever. He really did our fav gondorians sooo dirty. I literally watch through those scenes SEETHING in rage.

So I’ve been Thinking about denethor and faramir and nothing else for two days. like i am a denethor girlie. in my mind. spiritually. haven’t posted much abt him on tumblr. but nowww. you’re exactly right, ‘denethor Is a good leader…[insert ur paragraph here]’ yes yes yes you get it. listen denethor was a prideful, angry, resentful man but he was also valiant, resilient and noble. He guarded his city, alone (which takes GUTS, again, he was a badass!!), so well, for literal YEARS that Sauron was fearful/wary of him. i wish people were more understanding of him. he’s such an interesting character there’s so much to explore there. as you said the duty-vs-love, the weapon-first-person-next of it all. the layers. denethor as a weapon. denethor as a symbol of both sword/shield. AAHHH

BUT i think some people dismiss him hate him bc he is the mirror (the ugly side? if that makes sense) of humanity, of us. we ought to show him some compassion tho ‘cause havent u ever been taken under the darkness of life? felt the world slipping away & struggle to keep up w it? dont u ever feel hopeless? that things will never change, no matter what u do? DO YOU HAVE FEARS HAVE YOU FACED THE MONSTERS? WERE YOU ALONE, SCARED AND HOPELESS? AND HAVENT YOU MADE MISTAKES IN YOUR GRIEF AND PUSHED PEOPLE AWAY?? THAT’S what denethor experienced. He was described as a leader & a learned one at that for christ sake. He knew that evil was awaiting him and his kin and his people! he saw his future. yet. yet he soldiered on until. war declared. his sons killed (or so he believed). that’s when hope abandoned him. what was the point of staying alive now anyway? Evil was upon them, they would surely be tortured w a fate worse than death, so why should he not end the pain and kill himself? he fought the war against Time, Evil and The Dark Enemy himself and WON. he was a brave man indeed, to have fought these dark forces so much stronger than him. but he finally lost the war against Despair (and Grief), the cruelest of them all. imma cry 😭😭😭 no no no u don’t understand he didnt give up hope, hope abandoned him he- [GUNSHOT] (i don’t know how much of this even made sense lmao) anyway,

Faramir <333. do i even have to say anything about faramir? he’s the specialest little guy i love himm 🥰. On god i am one step away from rereading lotr just for him (plsss dont tempt me finals are in less than a fortnight) his and denethor’s relationship like u described my godddd XDD. fucked up familial relationships MY BELOVED. i am feral about this trope. the resentment… the jealousy… the mirror image of each other… the you’re-the-same-like-me-and-i-hate-that… mmmhm. hey do u ever think about 12 year old faramir admiring his father much the same way he did boromir and wishing he would grow up to be just like him? and do you ever think about 28 year old faramir knowing that he’s more like his father than anyone else and hating that? hating him? i do.

I’ll stop now lol im afraid my coherency has diminished by now. also sorry sorry for replying so late i am preparing for my exams. but rest assured i WILL be Rotating faramir around in my brain :3

hiiii denethor anon LOL this is the greatest ask ive ever received. every day i endeavour to provide only THE juiciest of opinions. aka this is my diary and you all are subjected to it. anyway im so glad you liked my fic i would love to know which one you read! i got into lotr via the films when i was super young so my past opinions were def coloured by The Choices. i have learned and grown since then<3 i was watching the book-to-film analysis vids on the extended edition dvds a couple weeks back and it made me so mad that i had to get up and turn off the tv. did you know there are other character options besides 'paragon of virtue' and 'one dimensional villain'...truly kind of a "nice dichotomy idiot! now what lies outside of it" situation. A Waste Of Your John Noble, To Be Honest. idk i still hold the films very close to my heart but the choices...i will simply respectfully disagree. and dont even get me started on faramir we WILL be here all night. another time. i have denethor thorongil situationship-fic to write. (i am serious about that) (i was simultaneously playing it 100% straight serious AND kind of joking about them. i shouldve known better. well.........we are so in it.)

you are so real for this. i have ALSO been Thinking about denethor and faramir and nothing else for days. weeks, even. sorry to everyone coming to the faramir goes to rivendell au for faramir and the fellowship the first 10k is literally just Keeping Up With The Stewards. we'll get there. i Will blame you for the impetus for my recent denethorposting on main but also encourage you to also do this. do whatever you want forever<3 nooo but straight up...guy who has so much strength and will that The Lord Of All Evil wouldnt contend directly against him and had to bring out the big palantir guns to bring him down. and if he'd not lost both of his sons i mean...who knows what would've happened. sometimes your sons ARE the only thing keeping you from killing yourself Do It For Them-style and lets be real that is a valid coping method. (i don't have an answer for that one and boy oh boy do i wish i did. it is going to become a massive thorn in my side in, oh, 70k or so when i hit rotk. well...i will blow up that bridge when i get to it.)

im actually putting a read more in this time bc this post broke a thousand words. continue at your own risk. there IS also faramirposting at the end here i promise.

just imagining denethor leading the siege of minas tirith. um. now stay with me here...riding out with imrahil's sortie. STAY WITH ME HERE. what do you think the livery of a steward going to war looks like. jesus christ i need to go lay down. yes i purposefully placed the read more before i decided to go momentarily horny on main. its also lowkey very vague au spoilers. sorry everyone but denethor IS canonically hot and we need to acknowledge it. Anyway.

denethor as a weapon denethor as both a sword and a shield...i am chewing glass for real. you GET IT. god i love person-as-weapon metaphor soooo much. When The Iconography Is Getting A Little Too Real. denethor as gondor, as her vanguard and standard-bearer and. i am straight up frothing at the mouth. all he ever wanted was to be a gentle lord in a time of peace.....and death was his reward...Sorry For Stealing The Fingon Death Quotation But I'm Right. so much of his behaviour and the strain on his relationships with his sons and all that is sooo...informed by the fact that to cope with having to be lord of a country at war he had to be so so unbending. he couldn't allow himself to waver, ever, not even for love, not even to save his sons.

did you know he was 21 when sauron returned. pov you are 21 years young and you have been alone all your life you are the steward's only son you are his strange numenorean heir and no one else has the LITERAL PSYCHIC POWERS AND VISIONS that you do and you have had to contend with that, alone. master your own mind, alone. learn how the shape of politics and lordship and life bends around you. and the dark lord the enemy who brought down your forebears has now set his eye on your lands again. Jesus Christ. How Would You Fucking Deal. sorry i would have a nervous breakdown and go and live in the desert. Man. TWENTY ONE? LIKE ME? most days i feel like a teletubby with a job and a credit card. if you scale it to account for numenorean lifespan inflation i mean i don't know how the math works but like. i bet it comes out to being like. 17. HELLO? basically everyone i know was barely a person at 17. the dark lord of all evil and he's MY problem to deal with?

i mean exactly. haven't we all been prideful and angry and resentful. haven't we all been there. once again [pippin voice] let's all understand poor denethor a little better. havent you ever been taken under the darkness of life [your paragraph here] yeah exactly what you said. the idea that he fucking won the war against the darkness and only lost to despair is..........so much! goodbye i have to go cry!

faramir, me AND fate's most special precious little guy....oh captain my captain....exactly. Exactly. i cant morally endorse a reread right this second but like. After. make it through finals and then it is Faramir Time. (and good luck! you got this!) tactical smartass little bitch master of both man and beast wizard's pupil (complimentary) star and hope and jewel of minas tirith knight in shining armour...my beloved. the idea that like faramir as presented, as the diplomat, as the scholar, as the numenorean, was supposed to be the one to go to rivendell...it haunts me. where is denethor sends the right son to do the right job.txt. he is gondor's no. 1 horse girl he is better suited to the wild than the battlefield he has read every sindarin text in the library he KNOWS the story of elrond and elros. he is literally telepathic and psychic and prophetic. thinking about him interacting with elrond and galadriel (and every other elf. but them in particular) makes me feel deranged. its very...self taught dnd wizard meets guy who went to wizard school energy. he's insane.

YEAH ITS CRAZY THAT THEYRE THE SAME GUY. it's. boromir gets to be boromir but faramir has to be denethor.txt. gracious and lordly as a king of old...now who is consistently referred to as noble and kingly...that a younger faramir would've looked up to...yeah. the perpetuation of denethor's second-best complex. i have a whole nother post in the drafts about that i CANT get into it here but jesus christ men who are NOT breaking the cycle. they even look the same. i mean 37 year old faramir as steward is 100% the spitting image of his father and that makes me....genuinely fucking insane actually. i mean like older councillors are doing double takes every time he walks by. i mean like sometimes people call him by the wrong fucking name. WOW where did that come from. the complex that that would give him...hello? turning this over inside my brain at WARP speed.

you are not late at all lol we are leaving little letters in each other's mailboxes to read when we have the time. i hope your exams go well!!! there will be more Faramir And Denethor Hours soon<33

#from the inbox #Anonymous #denethor anon #Another 1000+ Word Denethor Post From Yours Truly (both of us). Sorry To The Dash. #by the way the idea of ONE GUY bearing both sides of the sword/shield dichotomy made me feel like i was gonna black out in the coffee shop #that was crazy shit LOL #btw if u want me to talk about the denethor thorongil situationship I Fucking Will. idk if u were here before my faramir february url chang #but what has happened to me with them is soooooo typical abby rarepairnation behaviour. Hey Wouldn't That Be Funny. now hold on a second. #long post #denethorposting

[mikarchive2]

books i read in march 2023 📚

( trying the read more thing for the first time ever cause this is so long hope it works 💖 )

1. the hurting kind by ada limón - ★★★★★ - goddamn it, i really cant decide between four and five stars here . but at the end of the day, even though i cant say i loved every single poem, the collection as a whole is so full of life and defiant grace i just cant resist rounding up . ada limón has to be one of the best nature poets ive read so far ( cant wait to reread some of these poems outside when spring begins to feel like spring ), and also one of the few who can truly make this blunt and direct writing style work . if i were to talk about every poem i enjoyed, id be here all day but shout out to foaling season specifically that one hit me almost physically

2 + 3. the sandman: the kindly ones ( vol. 9 ) + the sandman: the wake ( vol. 10 ) by neil gaiman - all the stars in space . to me - if i loved it less, i might be able to talk about it more . shrimp emotions dont even begin to describe everything these last two volumes make me feel . i say this all the time though + there is not much else i can say without spoiling things, so . i dont know . just read it . the one thing i want everyone to take from this blog is that they should read it

4. panics by barbara molinard - ★★★★ - i think i found this thanks to lees ( stephaniesays1968 ) storygraph ... one of the instances in which the story behind how something was written is almost more interesting than the writing itself . barbara molinard was known for destroying her work and this is the only book she ever published - and being aware of that does make the stories even more haunting . or haunted perhaps . very madwoman in the attic, very surrealistic, recommending this to those who enjoy kafka and shirley jackson

favourites: the plane from santa rosa, the fathers apartment, untitled ( isolated fragments, liberty ), taxi, the sponge, im alone and its night, the vault

5. serious concerns by wendy cope - ★ - i expected this collection to have roughly the same energy as the famous orange poem, but instead it was just very ... english wine mom after her fourth divorce . though undeniably witty, occasionally funny and even somewhat subversive, the ever-present vibe of cynical pragmatism made it completely unenjoyable for me . however, wendy copes wikipedia page claims that her later collections are different so perhaps i just started in the wrong place ? i wouldnt want to discourage anyone from giving this collection or author a try, but personally i simply dont share her sense of humor

6. contemplation by franz kafka - ★★★ - i spontaneously picked up the czech translation during a slow day at work and ... well, it sure helped pass the time ! i have no idea how i feel about kafkas fiction to be honest - on the one hand he is so much more than the sadboy people tend to reduce him to and there is certain joie de vivre in his writing, on the other hand i find his style ... dry . ( saying that feels like a crime ) this was a pretty hit-or-miss collection for me, but i feel more motivated to read more of his work now, so . a win is a win

favourites: the sudden walk, excursion into the mountains, passers-by, on the tram, clothes, rejection, reflections for gentlemen-jockeys, the street window

7. howls moving castle by diana wynne jones - ★★★★ - this was so whimsical and chaotic and just bursting with creativity . way more down-to-earth than i expected, but it was almost healing to see these really flawed characters loved and happy . im so excited to watch the movie now, unlike everyone else i didnt feel much for book howl ( i just kept thinking he needs a fancam set to womanizer ) but perhaps i will fall for his movie version ? we will see . im very intrigued by diana wynne jones' style, it made the story seem as if it was writing itself ... cant wait to read more ! and recommend her work to every child i run into

up next: i said this last month, but i need to read my silly little college textbooks for real this time, so i should take a little break from this weird marathon reading i seem to be doing . anyway i hope to slowly get thru weavers, scribes, and kings by amanda h. podany ( finally ! nonfiction ! ) and um . well . there is still the prequel to the sandman . and a few spin-offs that seem interesting . and i downloaded stardust the other day because i love actively making my parasocial relationships worse . i should disclose that im horrible at planning though, so chances are i will just read ten completely random books again instead of any of these . love and light

#📚 #booksletter

[youkaigakkou-tl]

The Renren arc post

Just a little compilation of the details in chapter 67 to 77, this almost certainly isn’t even all of them

warning: very long. a lot of images

(link) first of all, not renren arc proper, but the hoodie haruaki was wearing in volume 10 was hatanaka’s from when he was a student

like i mentioned in the timeline post, this whole arc happens over 1 day. wack

(Chapter 68) ebisu-sensei, if i recall, sir, werent you spying on your mii-kun? we still havent gotten to that plot point yet like at all

Seating Arrangement

(chapter 69, nice) a month before this chapter was released, the author tweeted the seating arrangement for the class

(made in google sheets by me, link to the tweet)

Anemone

(chapter 69) the flowers in the background here are anemones, anemone coronaria.

they mean a couple things, but the gist of it is like “love”, “truth”, “suffering”, the works

Birthday

(chapter 69) utagawa’s birthday is april 14th. this is more of a headcanon than anything, but there’s a chance its the date she died.

she specifically points out it’s april here, and although the next scene where rensuke’s mask comes off probably doesn’t happen on the same day, i’m pretty sure it doesn’t happen too long after this

it’s definitely not the day takahashi found her as a gashadokuro, since that happens 2 months after she died

(chapter 74) of course, there’s a chance its just her birthday as a human. rensuke doesn’t mention if theres any reason he’s giving her the ring, but it might be for a birthday present

by the way, and this is relevant, “utagawa kuniko” is based off utagawa kuniyoshi, a woodblock print maker and painter, who made the depiction of the gashadokuro. he died on april 14.

305

this is super nothing, but 305 is a number that comes up a lot for just being a number. its:

hatanaka and mikis dorm room when they were students

rensuke and hijitas room now (confirmed to be the same room as hata and miki)

haruakis hospital room in vol 7

renkas hospital room (not the same hospital)

im told it has something to do with onmyoudou, but i cant find anything online. its probably nothing. but im pointing it out so itll haunt you on future rereads too lol

also, hatanakas birthday is 5/5 and mikis birthday is 3/3. cute

Book

(chapter 70) this book that got knocked off the table is what prompts haruaki to call takahashi, and i spent a while trying to figure out what it is

its... probably the laid back youkai dictionary? would make sense

also, i didnt notice this before writing this, but its the gida taxi business card! cute!

Woah Holy Shit

(chapter 70) wait. he straight up took off his mask to threaten haruaki. geez seimei-kun you got to see his sexy face before all of us!! kyaa!!

Finally The Goddamn Nyuudou House Heist, This Post Is Getting Long

(chapter 71) this seems like a throwaway “wow cool operation about to start” line, but this is probably talking to yamazaki or ame

(chapter 71) on first reading, you probably either glossed over this or thought “ok anti youkai power time” directly going against his conditions with renpapa that he wasnt going to use it (which you may or may not also have glossed over on first reading)

but rereading this knowing its yamazaki changes that (not by much, since its just 2 sentences and he doesnt act on it, but yknow, fascinating)

(chapter 72) here too, when he prioritizes getting mujina out with the intel

also how kurai doesnt even gloat too much even though he caught “haruaki”

even if it wasnt immediately revealed 1 panel later, you probably would have caught on to something being up with just this

or it would be the fact that it was revealed already theres a separate team in chapter 71

(chapter 73) again, here, when sano prioritizes tamao even though “haruaki” is with them too

ah, yknow, one o’ them “call forward”s, one o’ them “back-foreshadowing”

Amaaki Content

(chapter 76) finally getting to the chapters i did. i kinda hate reading my own chapters since i stared at them so much theyre burned into my brain, i hope theyre like, done well. if i had infinite time and energy i would totally redo these first chapters i did. in fact i kinda did, i had to come back and fix some text bubble shaping and phrasing before i posted these anywhere. anyway this has been totally irrelevant.

super un-haruaki-like expression, but im a amaaki liker hehe

a comment on bilibili really opened my eyes, its that this came from ame’s own feelings about haru teaching at hyakki (crying and punching walls rn)

The sky’s clear...

(chapter 76) CRYING SOBBING PUNCHING WALLS RN ITS BECAUSE HARU MEANS CLEAR SKIES UEUEUEUE

We’re All Fools Compilation

(chapter 76) it was at this moment, that i realised: “OH RIGHT HIS FUCKING BRACELET”

anyway, heres the His Fucking Bracelet Or Lack Thereof compilation

I mentioned this in my google drive translation notes, but you can really see how the author purposely showed ame’s right hand at every opportunity

Anyway

(chapter 77) he’s riding gida here, not just for fun, but because he got jabbed with his own immobilization drug by kurai in chapter 75.

um. i hope i translated this in a way that made sense.

anyway this has been the renren arc post wahoooo!! super incomprehensible i hope i get better at this probably wont tho!! i wanna make a post like this for the seimei student arc and also kyoto arc too

#rambles

[mistninja]

One Piece 1064

Okay first of all

I wasnt expecting Pudding to comeback. I honestly dont know how to feel about it, in one hand i really love her but the only thing i can think of oda doing with her now is that she will be used as a way to lure Katakuri, seeing as hes likely the new captain of the BM pirates and a quite popular character....

In any case, i hope she gets up to some shenanigans and isnt just a damsel in distress, and im very excited to see Kuzan again.

This feels a bit forced. I guess oda realized that it was weird for Blackbeard not to show interest in Laws DF, and is trying to fix that by saying BB didnt know Laws full power. Its a very hard to believe excuse, which makes me think oda didnt plan that well this confrontation.

I have no idea what is going with laws crew btw. Are they fishmen or what. Kzhsnzksnzk "we are from the north" okay? How does that explain anything??

I liked this panel

To be quite honest. Vegapunks island feels very underwhelming, after all this time i expected something more, idk, sinister? But oda has always been really good at creating environments so lets see, i might change my mind

Young jimbei is cuteee

1. I need to reread because a lot of this feels like it was knowledge i should already have

2. Well he couldnt possibly be a lunarian so what gives. Did oda decide to introduce yet another secret species?

I love their new outfits. I have mixed feelings on the girls, but thats a given. Big fan of sanjis shirt hehe.

On a more serious note, i think its interesting that both Zoro and Brook decided to stay on the ship. Zoro makes sense, but Brook is odd, particularly because hes always on the same pervy bullshit as sanji so him refusing to go with Lilith made me curious.

#one piece spoilers #op 1064 #not even gonna comment on the fanservice at this point

[just-some-random-blogger]

oh hello love! hope you remember me) it's been a pretty long time, sorry. happy new year, btw! how are you? how are your mental state? what about "Waiting For A Lifetime", i absolutely LOVE it! (no it wasn't inspired by that moodboard. i just wanted to see something like modern daemon but with the undying love? and added something to make some plot but your sexy brain made something so much more greater. thank u sm) i really can't describe everything i feel right now in english? it's just SO MUCH more than love and purest adoration! you made something bloom inside of me. i cried and for me it's the mandatory criteria of a good story. you made it feel so real? (if it makes sense) maybe the idea is cliche and cringey but you made the most fascinating fic out of it!! this inner conflict when the reader finally meets daemon? my soul of a person who works with analysing literature a lot is crying. this drama with aegon and him being a really pretty boy? my 'pretty boys lover' soul is crying. this soft daemon who's so eager to save his wife in the beginning? my 'desperate for love' soul is crying. it's the real masterpiece. and how daemon didn't remember the reader but (idk if you were inspired by my ask or it just felt right for you but) felt and this bond that just was felt?? i want to kiss your sexy sexiest brain and praise your writings and you for everything you do. (yes every writing of yours is soso beautiful i'm choking) i was going to ask if you've thought about writing part 2? but realised it's somehow works just like it is? yes i'd still be really happy to read part 2 but it's totally your choice. depends on your mental state, your will and just you? i'd be just glad to know that you've received it and know how much i love this, your sexy talented brain and you! thank you! for writing it! thank you if you want or not to ever write part 2! thank you for just writhing! thank you for you! stay hydrated, eat well and sleep tight! take care <3

NO BUT WHEN I SAW THIS I WAS SO EXCITED AND SO TOUCHED AND I HAD TO HOLD MYSELF BACK FROM HUGGING MY SCREEN LEST I BREAK IT AND NEVER GET TO WRITE FICS ON PC EVER AGAIN

HAPPY NEW YEAR I AM WELL THOUGH ANNOYED BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN HAVING ACNE BREAKOUTS EVER SINCE I MOVED AND I HATE IT I THINK MY DAD WAS RIGHT I NEED TO CLEAN MY ROOM 😭😭😭

MENTALLY i might be sharpay ^^^ but thats just cause im dramatic though lovely loves like you come around and make my heart go

(which is a good Squidward scream btw)

NAH LIKE I HAD TO GRAB MY PILLOW AND HUG IT AND SQUEAL INTO IT AND HUG IT SOME MORE, I WAS IMAGINING IT WAS YOU MODERN!DAEMON NONNIE 😭😭😭

Like you have no idea how invested I was in this prompt of yours when i saw it. Its neither cringey or cliche to me (ok maybe it is cliche but that's fine haters gon hate) You have absolutely no idea how invested I AM in it now i nearly wooshed through the second chapter bUT IT JUST WOULDN'T END and now ive trapped myself into writing a p3 i think 😭😭😭😭 not that im actually complaining im g

Im surprised you weren't inspired by the mood board i reblogged lololol HAHAHA thats cool i was a bit inspired by it so 🫶🤣

Im so so glad you recognized the inner conflict 🫶😭 not to be that person but as a writer, i always assume my readers are dumb, just cause ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ WHAT IF THEY ARE AND NO ONE GETS IT AND IN TURN IM ACTUALLY THE DUMB ONE FOR MAKING SOMETHING ABSOLUTELY NO ONE GETS 😭😭😭 I TAKE I BACK NOT DUMB JUST SLOW NO ONES DUMB HERE so yeah i appreciate that it was clear or evident there was an inner conflict and not that she didnt want to see him idk idk i mean reread the fic again (which made me fall in love with that world all over again) and thought i did a pretty good job explaining everything but like 😭 idk man u never know

IM ALSO SO SO GLAD YOU LIKED MY PRETTY BOY AEGON 😭 to be completely honest with you, he was so crusty inside and out in the show i didnt think much of him, but then i found out his actor was an absolute babe inside and out and i was like HELLO HUBBAHUBBA AWOOOGAAA

Im also really glad you liked soft!daemon. Idk i have been writing really darkly for him that i feel like i have shaved a lot of his humor and his wit and the fiery love he has for his family. Idk idk daemon is not a good man but hes also not necessarily bad thus the morally grey hottie we absolutely simp for. I felt a bit apprehensive with making him so vulnerable but i was like, yeah fine its a fic whatever i am the law here 🤠

I was definitely inspired by your prompt to make daemon not know who reader is!! I actually pondered deeply on whether or not i would go through with that and i think i even spun a wheel for it lol HAHAHHAHA IDK I DON'T REMEMBER. But yeah, they have a magic connection, literally, so Daemon had to at least recognize the feelings his past self had. That'd be too cruel i think to not add lol

So yeah if it wasnt clear, already i definitely am writing (almost finished with it in fact) a p2. I hope you come back to read it. Not to overestimate myself but i might be done with it tomorrow lol.

I am so so happy you came back to tell me your thoughts on my fic. I would love it if you did the same for the next chapter 🥺👉👈 pretty please.

ALSO ITS SO FUNNY THAT YOU SAID YOU WANNA KISS MY BRAIN COS I MEAN ACTUALLY DOING IT IS SO WEIRD I IMAGINED YOU KISSING MY JELLY BRAIN SJSJJSNSN ITS LIKE WHEN I SAID I WANTED TO KISS SOMEONE'S EYES COS THEY WERE SO PRETTY BUT THEN I IMAGINED KISSING AN EYEBALL AND JSJSMMSMSMAMS

I am honored you took the time to express yourself to me at all and in english. I appreciate it sososososo much it was clear enough for me i hear you loud and clear.

I am glad you came around though it has been a while since your request. I dont mind at all. Come back as often as you want my love.

Im also so happy you cried 🤣🤣🤣🫶🫶🫶 i love making people cry 😈😈😈 it means i did something!!!! You and i are alike!!! Crying is a good indicator for.... Enjoyment 👁️👄👁️ ... Lets not unpack that here lol

Also the fact you seem to like all my stories 😭😭😭 my genius brain is crying over the love im such a genius arent i? I love you so much

Gosh this reply is so all over the place i hope it makes sense 😭 im on mobile and woke up early and now its late and my brain is frazzled but i hope i went through everything you said and i hope you know i love you

xxx

#ask #anon ask #waiting for a lifetime #daemon fanfic #modern!daemon #modern!aegon #my beloved anons #modern!daemon anon

[saltedsalads]

its finished :) i hope its not awful

i wanted to do a lot with this chapter, there were a bunch of things i just completely removed and the order was very different as well. there will be spoilers below so.. BEWAREEE

answering some questions ahem

1. So in what life times did Temari remember shikamaru in?

temari did chose to remember shikamaru when they died in the second life time. so yes, in the 3rd, 4, and so on she remembered him. she wasn’t exactly immortal? its the sort of thing i wanted to go more in depth with but just started to overcomplicate things. In short, when temari turns a certain age lets say 13? she regains all her memories, so when she killed rasa, in that moment she remembered everything he had done throughout every life time. so, if you reread that bit.. it might make more sense.

2.Why was it set up like this?

i chose to set it up this way to sort of keep the reader interested? at first i didnt like it, every chapter was originally gonna be different life time— however it seemed too repetitive if i did that so my friend elise went, "why dont you just sprinkle in moments from the life times?" and wallaaah :]

3. Kotetsu and Izumo

kotetsu and izumo do know, yes! thought it would be cool there was no real reason behind it lolol

4. Kenji

kenji is an oc? i was looking through all the technical "gods" in the naruto verse and none of them made sense within the plot. im not even joking i spent like an hour reading about every otso idek how to spell it— but yea, none of them really made sense for what i was going for :]

5. Their limbos

ok ok im gonna start with shikamaru's because his isn't exactly.. specified i guess? His limbo is a beach, it was meant to represent how he enjoyed relaxing and just being able to stare at the clouds. It's a limbo made specifically for him, due to the fact he was mostly doing what he was told in the first two life times. Shikamaru is someone who doesn't willingly put himself out there for anything, if he's told to do it, he would— so in reality— he was sort of excused from his actions? but also not? i mean hey, he was just a puppet, sooooooo

Temaris

Temari's was meant to drive her insane. It didn't work that well. In the first lifetime, she was a general, who killed literally to prove a point that she was worthy of life. The second, is basically the same thing. The first lifetimes she was in her fathers hold to the point she would do anything to prove him wrong, to prove she was worthy of just existing. Her limbo is a representation of that. She was trapped in a room with the same melody playing over and over. Just as she made the same mistake, the mistake of letting rasa get the best of her.

6. r u ok

no ^^

anyway yes i just dont know how to write anything other than angst someone help plea

7. inspiration?

uh my dreams lol

my brain is constant dialogue, so when i try to sleep i have to plan an hour ahead because my brain will not shut up :D i started to write down ideas i got from trying to go to sleep and i swear there are like 18 different notes on my phone of just random misspelt ideas :p

#salty talks #without regret or relinquishment

[bougiebutchbitch]

this is random but i just wanted to say thank you for keeping the gravel and silk story online and for writing it just in general. i had a really bad falling out with someone who i thought was my best friend, they betrayed me a few weeks ago, and admitted to having malicious intentions planned toward me for years. their favourite character was KO, so every time i look at him now i kind of flinch, if that makes sense. this person spent a few months convincing me that specific characters such as KO wouldnt like my sona (me and this ex friend did a lot of tfp OC roleplaying on discord where our sonas were interacting with the canon characters) which hurts because knock out used to be my favourite character too. spending the last few weeks flinching when i'd see him has been a real struggle since i used to spend literal years just feeling so much love and adoration when i'd see him, it felt like he was ripped from me. but i suddenly remembered i used to love reading your tfp fics so i reread gravel and silk for the first time in literal years and it genuinely made me feel better to read him in your words, i didnt feel as scared or sad while reading. i dont know why? but it helped. maybe because its special to me, probably my first koss oneshot i ever read and what got me into shipping them more. sorry this was a weird message you don't have to answer it lol just wanted to say thank you for writing ❤

You're a sweetpea, and I'm really sorry that this horrible person ruined your enjoyment of a character you used to love. I hope you will continue to heal gently & at your own pace! I believe in you. x

[princewolfgangx]

i saw this video on tiktok and would like to write what i think of it bcs it looks fun

if you wanna try it out, read and do the questions first before you read what it means!! its more fun that way

okay so these are the set of questions in the book:

my answers:

1. the forest i see myself in is those pretty ones with light shining in from the top. i dont see a path though.

2. the cup i see are those cute frog ones you can get off of etsy thats made of ceramic and its painted and glazed. its pretty and clean with little to no moss around it. i do take the cup bcs those shit are hard to find.

3. so i imagine it being like those rivers in animes. the blue crystal clear ones that have smooth stream with light bouncing off of the waters. pretty, clean and clear. its not that deep, around ankle to knee deep so that means i can cross it pretty easily just have to sacrifice whatever im wearing a bit.

4. okay i will be honest, the first bear that came into mind was the ones in nucarnival (ill add a photo below) but after rereading the question, id change it from a taunting bear to one far off in a distance but close enough that i can see it in my line of vision. its a grizzly bear to be exact. how i go around it is just by sneaking slowly around it hoping i dont make a lot of noise and carry on my journey.

although thinking about it now, if i do come across this type of bear that has its eyes on me, id go and throw the ceramic cup i got earlier and run away lmao.

5. if i do see a beach id be happy if there were at least two people but ideally i see myself looking at three. id imagine the forest clears and the beach to be very wide so around 20-30 steps away from the forest clearing? not sure but i imagine to see these three people not that close but close enough for me to see their faces.

okay! now for the results!!!

oh wow. number one is unexpected bcs i sure do not know what i want in life. but idk maybe this is a sign 🤷

number two: the frog cup sounds like a trophy to me :] also the cup was empty and moldy so no water to drink from it. but yeah its kinda right, id always look forward to a reward rather than refusing one

omg. my sexual attraction can be easily defined with me being demisexual. i guess it is correct for the most part. this is kinda scary how accurate this is tbh.

LMAO I DIDNT KNOW TEDDY BEARS WERE POSSIBLE

anyway, i guess since i did see myself with both passive and aggressive bears, both explanations are correct with what im experiencing now in my life. and since i did try to move forward from the bears, it kinda make sense? idk

okay last one

okay this one takes the cake. im an introvert and loveeee alone time, but knowing that theres people there for me brings me huge comfort. this is absolutely insane.

you guys should try this out before reading what’s what in the end and feel free to tell me! i love reading stuff like this honestly!!

#psycology #psychobook #games #test #quizzes #questionnaires

[luvlyhyunjin]

i’m so glad you said you enjoy reading my thoughts bc sometimes i think oh shit i rambled too much again lmao so it’s a relief that you don’t mind.

i love how complex you’ve made these characters. despite how chaotic the situations are, the characters feel realistic and relatable through their flaws if that makes sense. like nobody is completely right or wrong, they’re all just trying to get through their own shit in their own ways of coping lol.

that’s probs why i love sending these asks so much tbh. since the characters are so multifaceted, it’s always exciting to hear your thoughts about certain things they’ve said/done. it’s clear you put a lot of care and thought into each character and their dynamics with each other. imo that’s a big part of what makes it such a compelling series.

also i hope you feel better soon! 🖤

Oh no don't ever feel like you rambled too much long notes are quite literally my fav to read i'll even go back and reread them thats how much i love them 💗 thank you so much i try really hard on actually building them up even at first when yn was more of villian i made sure to include moments of her being sweet w her friends i didnt want it to be cartoon-ish

Its so cool to see you notice sometimes i second guess myself cus im like maybe ive made carousel a little too complex for a smau??😭😭😭 but i love it and if you guys love it thats what matters💗 TYSM (currently sipping on ginger tea)