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#i don't think i wanted to know this. the world was a better place before i knew etho knew about tiktok
bcacstuff · 2 days
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Who's that Girl
So here it goes....
After yesterdays JJ article and pics from London, I showed you how I did a search on face recognition sites, one came up with a tiktok, others came up with some... more info perhaps.
Early this morning someone (who wants to remain anonymous) sent me a link in DM, an IG account, and showed me some matching things on there.
Like this bracelet
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and of course her face
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Same bag was seen as well
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well bag and bracelet.... and face
and the matrix coat, well I found that one on her friends IG
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right...
Of course, I hear you, who is she, what is her name, her IG.... I actually thought and doubted about this a long time, do I give away her name? Do I not? Well, I decided I give her name, wont link directly to her IG though. She's called Lauren Marie, though I doubt this is her real name. It is more like her.... uhm... 'professional' name...
But before I do, it's probably better to put a little warning/disclaimer here. So far, you'd say nothing wrong perhaps... but that is so far... below it's gonna be a little less nice for sure. Actually the picture drgotts posted in his stories today, and Sam reposted was quite accurate...
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I'm sure my face had all of these expressions as well and perhaps some more. Also keep in mind, you're here on your free will reading my post because... well guess because you want to know all things... or if you don't want to, you can still close this post and go for a nice walk in the park or something relaxing..... Above all, don't shoot the messenger, I can tell you I needed some time to process this all as well.
Okay, meet Lauren Marie
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Just some random pics from her IG which is more like an advertisement space for her..... 'services'.... Showing of luxury items and clothes on several luxurious places all over the world. No job description on her profile - ahem- No not a model or an actress. Her location on IG says Atlanta, while on TikTok it is Dubai!
On her TikTok, not many videos, but here's one
as I can only post one video, a screenshot from another
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Not to mention the hashtags she uses....
My Anon did the same, well about the same perhaps as I did (no I didn't pay, but if you know how to use Google searches in a certain way... well...)
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:sigh: oh Sam... 🤦���♀️ indeed, I said that many times today 🤐
Yes, her IG and Tiktok already makes you think hmmm.... no job mentions and doing a 'normal' google search doesn't really get you far, but with the help of the little hints some face recognition apps give you, this is what you find...
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Notice the tattoo (even blurred) and see above where I showed the bracelet.
One of the sites (yes I really went there 🙈
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There are many more similar sites to find like these.... but i will spare you, i think nuf said....
I imagine you might have some questions, like;
Does he date this woman? Uhm... no if you know a little, you know these women are not dating material (cough cough)
So did he pay to shag her? Uhm... well, I don't know of course - ahem - but for what it is worth what my Anon above said is true, in the celeb world this unfortunately is 'common'. But ask yourself this, would he shag a paid escort and consequently walk hand in hand with her in central London, Soho to get papped? I have a hard time believing that to be honest. I mean, if he wants to, he knows how to stay under the radar. I think his escort had an easy job yesterday without many yoga or gymnastics.
So was it an intended papwalk? Yeah, I'm sure you all might have your own thoughts about that. It isn't a date, it isn't the woman you might want to be papped with, unless you hope nobody finds out who she is. But I'm sure he knows his fandom and with such a clear pic of her face, well. So I wonder, is this a PR stunt gone wrong? (given he turned of the tags on his IG). It does look like an intended papwalk to me, he's even groomed. Just look at the selfie that Saturday when he had lunch with Sarah.... or the boat pic earlier this year. Nothing like these pappics. Well, I simply leave you with your own thoughts on that, but I tend to lean towards an intended papwalk that wasn't the best idea (if his PR team came up with that, I'd sack them immediately)
So far... if you don't mind, I'm gonna do a deep clean of my search history right now!
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kurakisses · 2 days
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⟡ ⠀between us⠀⠀⊹⠀⠀ guns n' roses & you
gn reader. poly relationship later on, reader is just messing around with them here, might be not fully canon-compliant. argenthill is established.
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‌“remind me why i accompanied you all the way here”.
“to make idrila's grace known and help anyone in need.”
you watched from a distance as the cyborg gave a faint grimace of displeasure as he detailed his surroundings.
you knew perfectly well that the knights of beauty were destined to wander the cosmos in solitude
and that argenti had probably never asked boothill to go with him.
so the cowboy was here on his own free will and at his own whim.
you laughed as your gazes met.
soon you would be behind the galaxy ranger and the knight of beauty
you put your arms over their shoulders and hugged them, as if they were old friends
perhaps you considered them as such, given how long you had been following them.
you had played the highest notes in the intricate score written by aha, but your greed enveloped your laughter like poison ivy and it begged for more.
now you would take the role of the cat during this hunt, and play with your prey ruthlessly. you would be fine; the icicles rising from your fingertips would not let you get hurt.
“oh, knight. this world has just survived a tragedy and they are vulnerable to any word they hear; don't you think that's taking advantage of people's innocence?”
boothill's eyes bore into you like daggers.
on your lower back you felt some pressure, and assumed it would be the tip of the cowboy's gun.
that action alone caused a smile to spread across your face, amused.
apparently, the cyborg didn't like his boyfriend being messed with.
how cute
“my duty is to defend the honor of beauty, i don't intend to force others if they are unable to recognize it.”
you smiled as you held back your laughter
defend the honor of beauty?
hadn't Idrila already fallen?
you thought that the knights of beauty were like headless ants, walking around aimlessly.
“and you, beautiful masked fool? why do our paths intertwine today?
he took your hand, placing his lips on it, and it seemed to you that he almost kissed it.
it was an action that left you speechless for seconds.
“i came here to have fun”
and to hang out with them
but you wouldn't say that
“our definitions of fun seem to be different”
boothill didn't look like he was entirely comfortable with your company.
and he probably would have pulled the trigger if it hadn't been for the fact that they were in a bustling plaza
and because argenti had asked him not to resort to violence as much as possible.
you had heard that the anonymous had embraced this cold planet with a mellifluous warmth, and you were curious to witness the quiet waltz that the inhabitants of belobog now danced.
because to you, the monotonous melodies, the dramaless chants and soft intonations were meaningless. you wanted a world immersed in laughter, bursting with loud ups and downs and moving symphonies.
and what better world to build your own orchestra in than one that has already been kissed by chaos?
you laughed at the thought, earning a distrustful glance from the cyborg.
your interactions, with him at least, were bittersweet
you always looked so ethereal, enigmatic and singular— tracing icy paths before disappearing in a frozen blizzard
you laid a trap for them covered in unintelligible decorations, in fabricated snowflakes
though for you it was more like showing them your personality.
to make friends you have to grow closer, right?
you know them well enough, so the only fair thing is for them to get to know you better
beyond your facade as an icy wanderer.
for argenti: you still had an indescribable beauty— despite being a fool, you looked like an iridescent crystal butterfly, radiating a unique light.
worthy of being bounded by terms such as “beautiful, precious, one of a kind”.
and perhaps that's why boothill seemed to want you far away
because throughout the entire way, the knight of beauty kept on complimenting you
and you knew it was his nature
but you couldn't resist laughing with your hand covering your mouth every time the cowboy's gears screeched with rage.
it reminded you of when you checked into the hotel during the morning
you didn't have any money with you, and argenti offered to pay for your room
“why the fudge are ya offerin' to pay for this child of a nice lady's room?”
you laughed out loud at the censorship, and he was about to point his gun at you one more time.
in the end boothill paid for the rooms for both of you— he would share his with argenti
he showed you his middle finger before he went to sleep with his boyfriend
in response you froze it
he looked at you terrified, with his mouth wide open and teeth showing
that night you laughed so hard that tears formed in your eyes and you had to clutch your stomach between both hands.
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part one
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kpop---scenarios · 22 hours
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Reckless (5)
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Pairing: Lee Know x Reader
Genre: Brothers Best Friend
Warning: Heartache
Word Count: 2.2k
Taglist: @hyunjinhoexxx @ovulatingrn @jisunglyricist @guiltycoco @fawnpeaks @purple-bell @caught-in-the-afterglow @ana-marais98 @rylea08 @astraystayastayastray @partyparty-yah @skzswife @sillyhal @blackbluerose666 @mmarusa @seungminsapuppy @chanbahng29
A/N: Let me know in the comments if you think Y/N will give Minho another chance!?
Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four |
“What the fuck are you two doing!?” You scream as you run down the stairs, just as Chan raises his fist to Minho. You place your hand on Chan's chest, looking up at him with worried eyes. He's so focused on Minho he barely notices you there, until you press your hand harder on his chest. He feels you, he looks down, into your eyes and breathes. You can see the bruise forming under his eye right before you. He lowers his fist, unleashing his hand.
“I'm sorry, Y/N.” Chan sighs.
“Are you okay?” You ask, gently running your thumb over his swollen face.
“Nothing I haven't dealt with before.” He chuckles. You smile at him before turning around. “You.” You snap, pointing at Minho.
“What?” He asks, crossing his arm.
“What the fuck is your problem!?” You yell. “Why are you punching Chan?”
“He fucking deserved it.” Minho spits. Chan lunges for Minho. You get in between the two, pushing Chan out of the house. The two of you walk to Chan's car as he tries to calm down.
“He's such a fucking asshole.” Chan groans, speeding from your house.
“Tell me about it.” You sigh. You glance over at Chan, as he turns onto different streets to get to the restaurant. You watch him as he chews on his bottom lip, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel as he drives.
“What's up?” You ask, giving him a smile.
“What do you mean?” He chuckles.
“You look like you're deep in thought over there.” You giggle.
“Yeah.. I'm battling internally about bringing up something. I don't want you mad at me.”
“Just ask.”
You knew it was going to be about Minho. And this time you weren't going to lie.
“You and Minho…” He pauses. You sigh.
“Yes.” You begin. “Minho and I have been sleeping together periodically but..” you now pause.
“But?”
“but.. I'm not sure to be honest. I don't know what it is. He's never taken me out, he tells people I'm not his type, he gets jealous when I'm with other guys but he doesn't want to be seen with me.. he won't tell Jisung about us but he'll go date this Maya girl.. and still fool around with me.. and I know I should stop it, I know he doesn't treat me good, he's mean but he's protective.. and I don't know, I'm just so confused.” You groan, dropping your head into your hands.
“Come on, I'll say what I need to say inside.” He smiles, getting out of the car. You'd been rambling so long you hadn't even noticed the car had stopped. The two of you walk into the restaurant, to be seated immediately. You browse the menu, deciding to go with your favorite brunch menu item.
“So.” Chan says, clearing his throat. “It's good that you realize he's not treating you how you should be treated - and yes, I'm giving you the ‘you deserve better’ lecture, because you do.” He says. “Y/N you're bright, and beautiful and you absolutely deserve the world and someone who is going to publicly praise you in that world.” He smiles.
Your heart flutters. Chan was so sweet, thoughtful and caring. Not to mention so handsome. You felt safe with him and you liked him, so why couldn't you stop thinking about Minho?
“I think I need time away from him.” You say, resting your head on your palm. Time away would do you good but why did it have to hurt your heart so much?
“I think that's the best idea. You're more than welcome to stay with me.” He smiles.
“As much as I appreciate that, you live with Changbin, Seungmin and Jeongin in a two bedroom apartment. I don't think there is much more room.” You giggle.
“I think you're right.” He laughs.
Later that day, you had messaged Hyunjin about crashing on his couch. You vaguely remembered your drunken night together, but definitely remembered him trying to kiss you. You decided that it was just from the two of you being drunk and left it at that. He of course, said yes about 3 seconds after you texted him. When Chan brought you home, you ran upstairs to pack some things, clothes, toiletries, stuff for school, things you would need to be gone for a week or two. You ran back downstairs and left while there was no one home, got back in Chan's car and he drove you over to Hyunjin's place. You hadn't even told Jisung that you weren't going to be home. You wouldn't have been able to do it in person, when he asked you why, what were you going to say? You fucked his best friend and he continued to treat you like shit but you continued to let him fuck you? No, you weren't ready for that conversation. It was easier to lie over text, for you at least. You told him it was a school project. He believed you, of course he did. He knew how you were about school.
“So.” Hyunjin begins. “You wanna tell me why you're staying here instead of your house?” He asks.
“Not yet.” You smile. “I've got a lot of things to sort out.”
“Is it Minho?” He asks.
You nod your head.
“Take your time, sweet. I'll be here whenever you need me.” He smiles. You curled up in the spare bedroom, in the new bed, in the new sheets that Hyunjin went out and bought today, specifically so you didn't have to sleep on the couch. You told him you would have been fine but nope. That's not how he does things.
As you laid alone with your thoughts, you couldn't help but feel like somehow this whole thing was your fault. You technically did start this whole.. whatever it was. But you knew it wasn't. He started it too, not just you. He's as guilty as you, if not more. You felt like you needed to talk to him to see where the two of you stood, but after what he said to you at the restaurant and then him punching Chan.. how could you even face him? You couldn't.
And you didn't.
The first week he texted you, a few times a day. He asked you what was going on, why weren't you home?
I miss you.
Did he? Or did he miss the hole that couldn't say no to him.
You never answered him. You read the messages and used a lot of self control to put your phone down and ignore him.
The second week it was mostly Jisung who messaged you. He was starting to believe it was not a school project that had you out of the house. He asked you to come home so he could talk to you. But you couldn't. Not yet. You were finally starting to feel a little bit different. Thoughts of Minho didn't fill your head at all hours of the day anymore, everyday it seemed to be less and less. You were starting to feel like it wasn't your fault that he didn't want anything more with you. You had often wondered, what was wrong with you? Why weren't you good enough?
And then on the 3rd week, you realized that it wasn't you. It had nothing to do with you and it was all him. You were worth more than what he was giving you. Jisung had messaged you, asking you what the hell was going on. Why Minho was sulking around the house, his fuse was short and he lost it over nothing. He said Minho was miserable and wanted to know if you knew anything about it.
You said you didn't.
By the 4th week, you were feeling better than you ever had. Even Hyunjin had noticed. You were brighter, happier and seemed to be more like yourself.
“You look like you've finally worked through everything.” Hyunjin smiles.
“You're right.” You laugh. “I've finally realized my worth.”
“Good. You deserve nothing but the best.” He says.
“Jisung said he was gonna be out tonight with Jisoo and..him. I'm gonna go home and grab a few other things. Thank you again, jinnie. You really saved me.”
“I'll save you anytime you need.” He grins.
Later that night you walk into the house you hadn't stepped foot in, in a month. It seemed different but the same at the same time. It smelled the same but different. You didn't know how to explain it. You quickly ran up the stairs, walking into your room to grab your things. You got some clothing items and a few other odds and ends you needed. You were going to turn around when you heard a door upstairs shut, footsteps coming down the hall. You freeze. You left your door open. You weren't facing it but you knew. You could feel a pair of eyes staring at you.
“Y/N?” He whispers.
“No.” You panic. “I have to go.” You say, rushing past him, and down the stairs.
“Y/N!” he yells. “Wait!” he chases you down the stairs. “Y/N! Please, wait!” he says, reaching out. He grabs your wrist, pulling you closer to him. You dropped everything in your hands.
“DON'T!” You yell, breathing heavily. “don't touch me. I don't want to talk to you. I'm finally getting to be in a better place.” You gasp.
“I'm fucking miserable, Y/N. I miss you.” He cries.
“Do you miss me? Or do you just miss fucking me?” You snap. Minho looks shocked.
“What?” He asks.
“Is that a hard question to answer?” You scoff.
“I miss you.” He says. “I.. I want to be with you.”
“In public? With everyone knowing? With Jisung knowing?” You ask.
“That's.. it's just..” he pauses.
“Yeah that's what I thought.” You laugh. If you didn't, you'd fucking cry and you didn't want to waste anymore tears on him.
“What can I do? What can I do for you to stay with me?” He asks.
“You seriously don't get it, do you?” You ask.
“Is it because of Chan?” He asks.
“You really don't fucking get it. I fucking loved you!” You cry. Tears rolling down your cheeks, you couldn't hold it in anymore. “I loved you and you used me. And I went along with it because at least I got you in some way.” You breathe. You didn't hear the front door behind you open. Or the footsteps quietly walking in. “But you couldn't be bothered to make any kind of effort for me. Instead you got jealous when I was with other guys, you said vile things to me, you made me feel worthless but I still let you fuck me! I loved you and you broke me! Because you refused to be honest with yourself or with Jisung!”
“You did what to my sister?” You hear from behind you. You turn around, Jisung stands there, Jisoo by his side as he shakes with anger.
“What the fuck did you do to my sister!?”
“I can explain.” Minho says, backing away from the angry man.
“Why the fuck is my sister screaming at you about how you fucked her and threw her away?” He yells.
“I never threw her away, man! I didn't do that. I love her!” Minho yells back. He looks shocked at his words. You stare at him with wide eyes, Jisung still rages.
“If you love her why the fuck would you do that to her?”
“I was scared! I was.. so fucking scared. You said she was off limits, but it was like I became addicted and I didn't fucking want too. You're my best friend, you've done so much for me. I tried to fucking stay away, I said some awful shit to her in hopes she would leave me, I tried dating Maya to move on from her but I fucking can't.” Minho cries. “I'm a piece of shit man, I know this. I fucked it all up, I should have been fucking honest from the start..I'm so sorry. I'm sorry to you Y/N, for everything. Jisung.. fuck man, I'm sorry.” He whispers.
The house is silent. So quiet you could hear your heart beating at Minho's confession. Your head was spinning, you didn't know what to do or what to think. Your heart hurt, but it also was beating for him. You were still so fucking mad at him, but you still loved him. The second you saw him, every feeling you had ever felt for him came rushing back, and you didn't know how to handle this.
“Please forgive me, Y/N.” Minho cries. “Please. I'm so fucking sorry.” He still looked so beautiful even as miserable as he was right now. Even with tears falling down his face as he begged you to forgive him.
It was too much. This was all too much.
“Y/N? Are you okay?” Jisung asks. The room was spinning. You felt hot, like your throat was closing up. You looked at Jisung in a panic as your eyes closed, you fell, and the world went black.
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Okay. I kinda want to walk through what I think is happening in each of their heads during the conversation. For my own sake, mainly, but who knows, maybe someone else will find it useful. Spoilers ahead, obviously. (Also fair warning that this is long and I expect nobody to actually read it; this is mostly for me.)
So let's establish first where they are when Blitz arrives.
Blitz hates himself. He's on the path to healing after making up with Fizz, but it is a very long road ahead. So if you can imagine it as a spectrum where "hates self" and "loves self" are on opposite ends, maybe he's not all the way at the hates self end anymore, but he's still pretty darn far over that way. So Blitz is arriving thinking he's unlovable, that he makes everyone's lives worse, and that Stolas is possibly getting bored of him. We also know from his half of the duet that he genuinely looks forward to these full moon nights and likes their arrangement. Makes sense. It provides him with the comfort of what he thinks is the closest he can get to an actual relationship where all he has to give is something he knows that he can and that he's good at (sex). He wants to keep the arrangement going. Yes, for a way to earth, but also for Stolas. This, in Blitz's mind, is the only way he gets to keep him.
Stolas is likely unmedicated for his depression, since this show doesn't show us things like him being out of his pills as just a throwaway joke; it's important. Anyone who has ever had depression knows that it just loves to remind you of the worst things about yourself, most of which aren't even true. It tells you that you're worthless and unlovable. We can see this in the way he's covered everyone but Octavia in the artworks in his home, mirroring Blitz scribbling himself out of photos. He's been in a dark place. But Stolas is also being so brave, ready to ask Blitz to love him anyway. To choose him of his own free will, the way it should've always been. His depression is making it hard, but he's going out on the limb anyway and hoping Blitz will catch him.
"I need it back...permanently."
Blitz starts panicking. He reacts like a puppy that's been told it's a bad dog. He starts promising that he can be good, he can do better. He can fuck Stolas like nobody else can.
Stolas rebuffs the advance and this is interesting to me-- Blitz slips into his dom persona a little, trying to regain control of the situation. He calls Stolas "bitch" and pushes his legs apart, lowers his voice to be seductive. And it alllllllmost works, just for a second, as Stolas blushes and starts to fall under the spell of it all. But then he gets himself back under control and reasserts this new boundary.
Blitz immediately drops the act and starts to beg with genuine distress, tears in his eyes even, and up until this point, I won't argue with you if you try to tell me that it's all about the grimoire. I disagree, but I'll let you get away with telling yourself that. Right up until this point.
Because this is when Stolas holds out the crystal and everything changes.
Their fucking leitmotif or whatever you call it, I don't know music terms, it starts playing, changing from the dramatic, ominous music before. Blitz starts inspecting the crystal like he doesn't believe it's real.
Let's be clear: he knows what an Asmodean crystal is and what it does. He's seen them before at least twice, both in 2x05. So it's not that he's in disbelief or confusion about what it does or that it exists. It's that Stolas is giving it to him that's taking him aback.
"You no longer need my grimoire." "Whaaaat?"
Because all Blitz is hearing is "you don't need me now. I can be rid of you without guilt."
"I don't understand. Why are you giving me this? Am I not fucking you good enough? Because I can always do better."
Let's take a second to pretend we're in a world where Blitz has zero feelings for Stolas. That this has always just been about getting to earth. In that world, Blitz never says this line. In that world, Blitz splits right here. He has the crystal in his hands. He knows what it does. He is officially 100% free at this point.
But we don't live in that universe and this line proves it. Blitz thinks he's being cast aside and instead of seeing it as his chance at freedom from Stolas, he's begging to be kept.
I can do better. Don't throw me away.
"I care...very deeply for you. And I have for some time."
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This is the face Blitz makes after that. The entire time Stolas is talking, he keeps looking between Stolas and the crystal while making this face, like he literally can't process what is happening. Of all the things he expected to happen tonight, this wasn't even on the list. And remember: Blitz hates himself. Blitz genuinely believes he is unlovable.
Have you ever experienced something so surreal that it's almost like you left your body during it? Like your brain literally couldn't process that this was happening to you, so it's almost like you dissociate to the point that you feel like you're watching it happen to someone else? Because things like this don't happen! Not to you. These are things you see on TV or hear happening to other people. But to YOU? There's no way it's real.
"You don't have to stay here with me."
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He looks ALARMED. Scared. The thought that he's about to lose Stolas genuinely startles him. He doesn't want what he thinks is happening. He doesn't want to be cast aside. If his choice is this or the chains, he'd rather the chains.
But. That's not the choice he's being presented. Because Stolas adds,
"But I want you to."
And Blitz's brain, his traumatized, mentally ill brain...just can not process that. No one wants to keep him. He's a commodity to be bought and sold and has been since his father sold him to Paimon as a child (which, by the way, I'm fairly convinced he thinks was Stolas's idea, not Paimon's). Maybe even before.
So his defense mechanisms kick in from this point on. Default to what's comfortable. It must be a sex thing! There's no way Stolas means this, so it's gotta be some weird roleplay. Well, he can do that! He can swoon and say he loves him (and if that hits a little too close to the truth, then fuck you, no it doesn't) and it's fine because this is fake. This can't be real, because things like this don't happen to someone as "worthless" as Blitz believes himself to be.
Blitz is trying to protect his own heart here, but what Stolas is hearing is rejection. Blitz playing it off as a joke must mean that Stolas is a joke for ever thinking Blitz could love him back. And why would he? Stolas doesn't see himself as lovable, either. One of his earliest memories is of Blitz "using" him to steal from the palace, never knowing that Blitz was only doing so on his father's orders, just as Blitz probably doesn't know that he was bought on Paimon's order, not Stolas's. He's a commodity, too.
Stolas's depression immediately puts him in a place where he can't see past his own pain and self-loathing. Blitz not immediately jumping into his arms must mean that all the worst things he thinks about himself are true. Blitz sees him as the monster he fears he is.
So he pulls himself together and starts to walk. And again, Blitz could leave here if he didn't care.
But the strangest thing happens. Blitz realizes that Stolas meant it. He even asks,
"Wait, you were being serious? Hold on, Stolas. What the fuck?"
He's trying to talk it out. He's trying to have the conversation. He's hurt and confused and in disbelief but he's not running from this. He's not letting Stolas walk away from him because he wants Stolas, and he's actively trying to keep him. They have to talk this through, and Blitz of all people is the one trying to pull Stolas back into the conversation.
"The fact that you couldn't believe that I could have these feelings about you, the fact that your first instinct is that it's always about sex, that's enough to know what this is."
See, what we have to remember is that Stolas doesn't have all the information we do. He hasn't seen the crossed out pictures, he didn't witness the flashback to the fire that killed Blitz's mom. Stolas hasn't watched Blitz cry himself to sleep or drink himself into a stupor after what he perceived as a public rejection at Ozzie's. Neither of them have all the information about each other that we, the audience do.
So when Stolas, who doesn't know that Blitz hates himself and thinks himself unlovable, hears that Blitz thinks there's no way that Stolas could love him, what Stolas hears is "you, Stolas, are an unlovable monster in my eyes."
It just confirms all the worst things Stolas thinks about himself. It's a literal, "it's not you, it's me," situation, but Stolas can't see that because he doesn't have all the information.
And here's what's even more interesting. Blitz doesn't think it's over like Stolas does. He's not rejecting Stolas.
"Fuck you, Stolas. You spring this feelings bullshit on me, are you fucking kidding? Can I get a fucking minute to think after everything you put me through, you pompous, rich, asshole?"
This is Blitz saying that this is all very unexpected for him, but he's not saying no. He's saying "give me a minute, let me think. Don't take my first reaction in the way that you are. I was surprised. I was in disbelief. Give me a fucking minute to PROCESS."
But by this point, it's too late. Stolas's self-loathing has taken the driver's seat in his brain and all he can hear is that Blitz hates him, that he is unlovable, that he's a monster, that he's all the things he feared were true, and the person telling him that is the person he cared (second) most for in the entire world.
Blitz's defense mechanism is fight. Stolas's is flight. And so when Blitz unloads on him like that, Blitz is trying, in his own messed up way, to have the conversation. To work this out. To be honest for once and see if they can get somewhere now that the dam has been broken. While Stolas...his instinct is to flee. And since he's the one with the magic portals, guess what happens?
"I didn't realize you think so low of me."
You can tell by Blitz's reaction that he realizes they're not having the conversation he thinks they are. He realizes in that instant that Stolas isn't going to yell back with him. They're not going to scream at each other until they get it all out of their systems and reach a catharsis. He's hurt Stolas, maybe in a way that they can't come back from, and he immediately shifts his demeanor.
"Stolas, wait. I'm so--"
And then it's over. He's been kicked out of the palace. Thrown aside, just like he feared he would be.
And each of them are left feeling like the other thinks they're a monster, because neither of them realize that the only person who thinks they're a monster is themself.
I gotta go lie down, jfc.
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i'm a jatherine truther in that i don't think they would have a super healthy long term relationship but them falling for each other was real and important and had a lasting impact on both of them both in their relationship with each other and their relationships with themselves and their understanding of life. like. i personally think long-term they'd end up not working out romantically but being best friends because of how I choose to understand them. but jack falling for Katherine and feeling for the first time like he's worth the attention of somebody he would usually see as above him. and Katherine falling for jack and actually living the theoretical ideas she's had about class divides and social structure. it's good for them. Katherine gets a glimpse at the world she's never truly understood before, puts her own privilege in perspective while also having the chance to get them to see it's not truly us vs them when there's also so many layers to being a woman in 1899, especially a woman with career ambitions and a controlling father with the ability to kill her career with a single word. even being an heiress doesn't stop your father from being an asshole who wants to ruin your life because you don't want to play by his rules. and jack gets to see that there is kindness and softness is the world for him, and not just the kindness and softness he has to fight his way to. he gets to experience somebody who knows him and knows his flaws and failures and the way he crumbles under too much pressure from himself and still chooses to love him despite all of that, he gets to have a soft place to land and also a place to learn and grow from somebody who parallels him in a lot of unexpected ways. they but heads and argue and maybe it isn't always smooth sailing and maybe they realize eventually that their love has settled into something other than romantic, but those changes and lessons and life experiences are there forever and changed them and made them better.
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scary-grace · 1 day
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Enough to Go By (Chapter 8) - a Shigaraki x f!Reader fic
Your best friend vanished on the same night his family was murdered, and even though the world forgot about him, you never did. When a chance encounter brings you back into contact with Shimura Tenko, you'll do anything to make sure you don't lose him again. Keep his secrets? Sure. Aid the League of Villains? Of course. Sacrifice everything? You would - but as the battle between the League of Villains and hero society unfolds, it becomes clear that everything is far more than you or anyone else imagined it would be. (cross-posted to Ao3)
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7
Chapter 8
“I can’t believe this is happening,” the high school student at the front desk says for the millionth time. “He must be so scared.”
“That kid? No way. He’s probably killed half the League already.” One of the nurses scoffs. “He’ll be fine. The heroes will handle this and put an end to that mess before you know it.”
You’ve been hearing versions of this conversation for the last three days, and you were bored of them on day one. It’s an effort not to roll your eyes. “But he got kidnapped,” the high schooler says again. “He probably doesn’t even know what happened to his friends, if they’re okay –”
“The other students are okay,” you say. “I heard two of them are still unconscious, but they think they’ll be fine. Their lungs were just more sensitive to the gas than the others’ were.”
“Was it really mustard gas?” the high schooler asks, and you shake your head. “How do you know?”
“A friend of mine,” you say. You’re not talking about Tenko. “He’s helping the heroes gather intel. He says it’s more like Midnight’s sleeping gas, but with a cumulative exposure effect.”
“The news said that kid was in high school,” a passing doctor says. “What are we doing wrong that kids in high school are turning to villainy?”
“It’s a problem with the villain, not with us.”
You can’t hold in the derisive sound you make, and all three of them turn to you. “What is it?” the doctor asks. “You don’t agree?”
“I just think it’s weird for people who see what we see every day to act like every villain is just born bad,” you say. Your colleagues stare at you. “Some of our patients feel trapped. A lot more of them feel helpless, or hopeless. Most of them have had hard lives, and no one’s helped them or saved them. If they feel invisible in their suffering, it’s not hard to imagine why some of those people lash out. Not even to hurt others. Just to be seen.”
You know what it’s like to feel hopeless, to feel invisible. To feel angry and know that your anger doesn’t matter, because you don’t matter in the first place. You turned that feeling inward, but most people aim it out. “People don’t become villains because they’re happy with their lives, or who they are. The way the world works makes a lot of people unhappy.”
“Young people – present company excepted – want everything handed to them,” the doctor says. He gestures at you and the high schooler. “If we had more people like the two of you, it would be a different story. You know how to work hard.”
“I didn’t have a choice,” you say. You’re not making your point well. You try again. “The villains who currently exist are the heroes’ job. It’s our job as a society to stop new villains from arising. The only way to do that is to make things better for everybody.”
“Of course,” the nurse says tiredly. She’s probably been working at the clinic longer than you and the doctor combined, and longer than the high schooler’s been alive. “When you figure that one out, honey, let me know.”
You’d love to. Really. Lately the difference between what you feel and what you think has been growing, so fast that it’s consuming every thought in its wake. Kazuo might be right from a legal standpoint that not stopping something isn’t the same thing as aiding and abetting it, but that doesn’t change how it feels. The attack on the training camp succeeded. The psychopathic student was kidnapped. Students were hurt. Pro heroes were hurt. One hero is missing. Moonfish, Mustard, and Muscular were all captured. And you knew it was happening ahead of time.
This time, you weren’t powerless to stop Tenko’s plans. You could have contacted UA and warned them that the location of their summer training camp had been compromised, that villains were planning an attack. You could have done it without endangering Tenko – he wouldn’t have even been there, and with Kurogiri’s protocol of warping everyone to and from the hideout, none of the others could have revealed his location if they were captured. You could have stopped this. Part of you wishes you had.
And part of you can’t stop picturing the look on Tenko’s face if he found out you betrayed his trust. The hurt you’d see there in the moments before he sealed it away. He’d probably kill you, and you’d feel so guilty that you’d probably want him to – but it’s not the fear of death that keeps you quiet. It’s the fear of losing him again, by your own fault this time. So you’ll take the guilt over the attack on UA’s training camp, the kidnapped student, the missing hero. You’d rather feel sick over that than hollowed out by losing your best friend.
You’re on the night shift, but it’s slow tonight, and when the high schooler turns on the TV in the waiting room, you don’t stop her. UA is having a press conference, with the principal and the two teachers who were there at the training camp apologizing for allowing the students to be put at risk again. You shouldn’t feel guilty, but you do, and you almost ask the high schooler to turn it off – but then the hero whose student was kidnapped starts defending said student, and you get annoyed. “That’s not what he’s like?” You mimic the hero’s flat, almost-affectless voice, then revert to your own. “Bullshit. That’s exactly what he’s like.”
“Huh?” The high schooler looks at you, surprised – or maybe offended. “That’s his teacher. He knows him better than you do. You’ve never met him.”
“I’ve met dozens of him. I know what they’re like.” You think of your siblings, the twins, the triplets. You think of the people who made your life hell until you made stronger friends. “You know who knows that kid better than his teacher? Everybody that kid has ever picked on. They only show who they really are to people who can’t hit them back.”
The high schooler is staring now. “I’ve never heard you say that much about anything before.”
You step out from behind the desk and head to the lobby for a little cleaning. “I only get one outburst per month. You can tune in next time.” In general, you’re not reactive – growing up, you weren’t allowed to react to anything – but ever since you found Tenko, you’ve found it harder and harder to hold in your frustration with the way things are. Your viewpoint doesn’t align with the League of Villains or with Stain, because you don’t think that dismantling the heroic system would automatically create a better world, but lately you can’t shut up about the things that are wrong.
Employment and housing discrimination against quirkless people and heteromorphs, and the total lack of anti-discrimination laws. The constant threat of violence, triggered so often by heroes pursuing nonviolent criminals, in situations where violence shouldn’t be necessary. The disinterest most ordinary people show in helping anyone, changing anything, because they expect heroes to do it for them. Things people who have power never see or think about. Things you’ve been living with since you were a child.
Seeing the heroic system come tumbling down won’t fix any of that. All it will do is put the privileged on the same level as you are, force them to play by the same rules you’ve had to follow. And some part of you thinks that would be a nice thing to see. After all, you’ve been playing this game your whole life. For once, you’d like to have the advantage.
The UA press conference is just concluding when you feel the first vibration, a low deep hum traveling through the air. A chill goes down your spine, and you look up from cleaning the air conditioning filter in the lobby to the high schooler behind the desk, only to find her already looking at you. The TV switches to breaking news with a blast of trumpets, announcing that All Might and various heroes have teamed up to rescue Bakugou of Class 1-A, but even as they’re announcing the good news, another vibration travels through the air. A moment later, a similar vibration travels through the ground. Somewhere in the distance, you hear a crash – an enormously loud sound, coming from just far enough away to avoid rupturing your eardrums. Not far enough to avoid rupturing anything else.
“Get down!” you shout, diving for cover, and the high schooler drops behind the counter just in time for the windows to blow apart, spraying glass across the lobby.
Now you can hear explosions. Or you could, if your ears weren’t ringing. When you look out the shattered windows, you see a sky that should be cloudy and dark blue turning unearthly purple and orange. As the ringing in your ears dies down, you hear screams, sirens, the whirring of helicopter blades. Something terrible is happening.
You struggle to your knees, then your feet, doing your best to avoid the broken glass. “Are you okay?” you shout to the high schooler. You hear a whimper from behind the desk, and a split second later, the phone starts to ring. “Can you grab that?”
No answer. You stumble through the glass, kicking piles of it aside, and find the high schooler crouched behind the desk, shaking. She doesn’t look hurt. Shell-shocked, sure, but not hurt. You aren’t seeing blood. You grab the phone. “Yokohama Free Clinic South. How can I help you?”
“This is Yokohama PD. Your building has been designated as an evacuation site. Please prepare to receive evacuees from Kamino Ward.”
“Kamino Ward?” You fumble the clinic’s disaster preparedness binder out of the desk and start flipping frantically through it. “Our windows are gone from the shockwave that just came through. Is that going to be a problem?”
“Is the building still standing?” The officer on the other end doesn’t wait for confirmation. “The first evacuees should be arriving within minutes. Once the hospitals are full, the remaining casualties will be directed to you.”
“What? We’re an urgent care, not a mass casualty –” The line goes dead and you stare at it in horror. The rest of the night shift, doctors and nurses and techs, are just emerging from the back of the clinic. You turn to look at them and try to convey the information as quickly and efficiently as possible. “Evacuees from Kamino Ward are coming here. Once the hospitals are full, the casualties will be coming here, too.”
“What’s happening in Kamino Ward?”
“Look.” The high schooler’s voice is almost as shaky as her hand as she points to the TV. You do as she says and everything gets worse in a heartbeat.
Kamino Ward is gone. It’s a smoking crater, ringed by the ruins of buildings, and in the center of it all stand a collection of small figures. Half your thoughts come to a stop on the buildings, on how many people must be trapped in the wreckage. The rest are with the group of people in the crater. Wherever the news feed is coming from, whoever’s filming zooms in until you can see their faces. All Might’s there. So is Tenko’s master. And so is Tenko, him and the rest of the League, everyone who wasn’t captured after the attack on the training camp – alongside the student they kidnapped.
LIVE: All Might fights unknown villain, the scroll at the bottom of the screen says. Kamino Ward leveled. Rescue efforts underway.
Two of your friends live in Kamino Ward. Your mind floods with emotion, the leaks in your defense mechanisms coming from a dozen different sources. Worry for your friends, panic about the evacuees who are about to descend on your clinic and the casualties that are sure to follow, terror that the fight will break from Kamino Ward and come to you. Fear for Tenko, who’s right there in the middle of it all. Shame over the fact that when you realized he was there, your fear for him drowned everything else in a split second.
But you don’t have time for worry or panic or shame or fear, because you can hear voices in the street. People are coming here, looking for shelter, and there’s glass all over the floor of the lobby. “We need to clean this up,” you call out to the others, even as you run for a broom. “We have to hurry.”
Somebody yanks the broom out of your hands and passes it to one of the CNAs. The doctor forces the disaster preparedness binder into your hands instead, only for one of the older nurses to snatch it away. “Put her on triage. We need to keep them calm and we need to move fast.”
You’re good at those two things when the lobby is full. Not when an absurd number of people are being directed your way. You pull the blinds over the glassless windows, hoping it’ll stop people from seeing them as entry points to the building, and prop open the door, stationing yourself just inside it. When you see the crowd coming down the street, led by an overwhelmed-looking police officer and two minor heroes from the area, you take a deep breath and do everything you can to clear your mind.
“Get a list of who’s here,” the nurse who took the disaster preparedness binder hisses in your ear. “Uninjured to the right and left, injured to the front.”
“Got it,” you say. Someone drops a pile of nametags and a permanent marker into your hands. That’ll work. One of the heroes has jogged ahead to meet you, and you square up. “Get everybody in a line. Keep families together. We’ll take care of the rest. How many do you have?”
“A hundred, plus or minus twenty. Some fell behind.”
And those are probably the injured ones. “Go back and pick them up,” you say. “We’ll handle this.”
The hero conveys your instructions to the others, and a line begins to form. You address the first person in line – a grey-haired man, carrying what looks like either a grandchild or a random kid. “Family name, first initial,” you say. Iwamura K, granddaughter Iwamura T. “Injuries?”
None. You peel off the stickers, apply them to each evacuee’s arm, then herd them inside. “Next?”
Your handwriting gets worse and worse with every nametag, but you’re moving fast. You screw up the system you were supposed to implement almost immediately. Uninjured evacuees go to the right side of the lobby. Injured ones go to the left, where the other nurses are waiting to triage them more effectively. All the while the air vibrates with distant blows and you vibrate with it, your mind teetering between focusing on the tasks at hand and worrying about your friends, about Tenko. You’re scared that one of your friends will come through the door on a stretcher. You’re scared that Tenko won’t come back at all.
The phone rings somewhere behind you while you’ve still got dozens of people in line, and a moment later, the high schooler shouts to you. “The teaching hospital’s full and the route to Yokohama General is cut off. They’re directing casualties here.”
Fuck. When you find out who cut off the route to the city’s biggest, most modern hospital, you’re going to break your foot off in their ass. That goes double if the guilty party is Tenko’s master. You start hustling people into the building at top speed, trying to think of which entrance will be best to direct the ambulances to. The rear entrance, probably. Somebody else will have to take care of that. You’ve still got people coming through the door.
The closer to the back of the line you get, the more damage the evacuees are working with. The last few are covered with dust, their clothes torn, their bodies already bruising. You try to ask them what happened, but your words are drowned out by a collective gasp, followed by dead silence from inside the building. The TV is still going, the words tinny and distant, but you hear the first person who speaks up loud and clear. It’s a kid. “Mama, what’s wrong with All Might?”
The noise comes back up immediately, leaving you with no idea what’s happening, no idea if All Might’s been defeated or killed, no idea whether the fight’s shifting, heading this way. You hear ambulance sirens wailing, getting louder with every passing second, and someone yanks your arm. You turn to find one of the medical assistants. “Go to the back. They want you helping with the ambulances.”
You don’t want you helping with the ambulances. You’re good under pressure, but not that kind of pressure. Not the kind where someone will die if you screw it up. You try to reason with yourself as you weave through the lobby and head down the hall, aiming for the back doors. You’re not running point on any of these cases. Your job is to assist the doctors and the nurse-practitioners. They’ll tell you what to do. You just have to do it. It’ll be fine. You think that, and keep thinking it, right up until you put on your mask and gloves and turn around to find yourself facing a patient whose legs have been crushed below the knee.
It’s awful. There’s blood and sinew and tissue everywhere, and sharp fragments of bone emanating from the exposed kneecap. Bitter saliva floods your mouth and your stomach turns, threatening to upend itself, but you grew up with siblings who could make you vomit on their command. You learned to resist them, and this – you clench your jaw and step forward. “How can I help?”
“Pinch off the femoral artery on the left side.” The doctor’s face is pale. The patient is unconscious, must be unconscious, because otherwise you can’t imagine the doctor saying what he says next. “We’re in hell.”
You’re not given to dramatic statements, but as the time wears on, you start to agree with him. You lose track of which patients you’re seeing. It’s all you can do to remember to switch gloves between patients. Your scrubs get sprayed with blood, but you can’t change them. There’s not time. The site commander for whatever’s happening in Kamino Ward sent your clinic twelve patients who should have gone to Yokohama General. You can’t save them. Your job is to keep them alive long enough to transport them to the people who can.
It’s a task you fail once, twice, three times, five times. One of the nurses, someone who worked somewhere else before coming here, tells you that the patients wouldn’t have made it anyway, but it doesn’t help. Even with the EMTs of the ambulances staying to lend a hand, there aren’t enough hands, not enough eyes to spot the signs of someone crashing and not enough mouths to call out a warning. You lose five, stabilize seven. If this goes on much longer, you might lose them all.
News of what’s happening in Kamino Ward trickles back slowly. All Might’s deflated, or decrepit. Skeletal. Disfigured. All Might’s getting an assist from the Number Two hero – Hiro will be thrilled. All Might’s winning. All Might’s won, but the League of Villains has escaped. All of them except their backer – All For One.
All For One. It’s not a villain name you’ve heard before, but you’re pretty sure that’s Tenko’s master. Whoever he is, wherever he came from, he was strong enough to hurt All Might, to nearly kill All Might. If he could do that, what the hell does he need Tenko for? What’s going to happen to Tenko with his backer gone? Where is the League going to go? You’re pretty sure they can’t go back to their hideout – it was where they were planning to take the captured student, and if they and the student wound up in Kamino Ward, something went wrong. Where’s Tenko now?
That’s not your problem right now. Your problem is your patients, and whether or not any of them will still be alive by the time the route to Yokohama General reopens. You throw yourself back into work. Back into hell.
Relief eventually arrives in the form of basically every off-duty staff member – all of them who don’t live in Kamino, that is. You stay in the mix, not wanting to be the first one to call for help. You’re not that tired, anyway. You just got on shift at six. You have a long way to go before –
“It’s seven am. Get out,” your supervisor says, and you stare blankly at her. Seven am? That can’t be right. It was midnight two seconds ago. “This patient’s stable, and the route to Yokohama General is finally open. Transfer them and go home. With all the repairs we’ll have to make, we can’t afford to pay you overtime.”
Transfer, then home. You transfer the patient, who hasn’t been conscious once since they arrived in the clinic with a skull fracture wide enough to see their brain through, to the waiting EMTs, and then you go looking for a change of clothes. There isn’t one. You’ll be wearing this home. You wade through another crowd of people to clock out, then step out onto the street. The trains probably aren’t working, but that’s fine. It’s not that far. You can walk.
The sky is still purple and orange. Clouds of smoke are billowing up from whatever happened in Kamino Ward, and you can smell it, along with gasoline and ozone and who knows how many other acrid stenches. You check your phone as you walk and find frantic messages from your friends, everyone trying to confirm that everyone else is alive. You tap out a message confirming that you were at work and you’re fine. Then you put your phone away and trudge the rest of the way home.
After the noise of the clinic, unabated for hours upon hours, your apartment building is weirdly quiet. At this time of day people should be up, getting ready for work, getting their kids ready for school, but instead it feels like time’s stopped. Maybe they left. Maybe they’re in an evacuation shelter somewhere. You don’t know. You unlock the door to your apartment and step inside – and freeze.
Your apartment should be empty. It isn’t. Your apartment is full of people, and you’ve met them all at least once before – Spinner, Dabi, Magne, Compress, Twice, Toga. Kurogiri. Tenko. No, Tomura. They’re all staring at you, just like you’re staring at them.
Toga’s the first one to speak. “So that’s what you look like,” she says, smiling. “I knew you were cute!”
“Don’t scream,” Tomura says. You shut your mouth and shake your head. He looks you up and down, frowning. “Whose blood is that?”
“At work. I was at work. We got some of the casualties from – from Kamino –” You’re stammering. You��re making approximately zero sense. There’s only one question that matters. “What are you doing here?”
Nobody answers you. Dabi’s mouth contorts into a sneer. “No wonder you wouldn’t show your face before. You’re a fucking civilian.”
“Yeah, she’s a civilian. That’s why her place is safe to stay at,” Tomura snaps at him. He turns back to you, the frown still present behind the hand. “Is all that blood somebody else’s?”
“Yeah. I’m fine.” You don’t feel fine. You feel numb, but your heart is racing so fast that you’re worried you might faint. “Did anybody see you? Or hear you?”
“Kurogiri delivered us right to your living room,” Compress says. “We’ve been quiet. Most of us.”
He’s aiming a dirty look at Magne, who glares back. “It hurts,” she snaps. “If somebody stabbed you in the chest –”
Your stomach lurches. “Stabbed?”
“I hit my face on that giant hero’s face. Do you hear me complaining?”
“You were stabbed?” You step around Tomura and cross the room to where Magne’s sprawled in one of your armchairs. “How long ago? Is it still bleeding?”
“Not with a knife,” Magne says. With what, then? “Boss’s daddy forcibly activated my quirk with his hideous little tentacles.”
There’s nothing about that sentence that you don’t hate. “The same thing happened to Kurogiri,” Spinner adds. He’s leaning against the wall. Grimacing. “A hero messed with him first, though.”
The answer to the question of why they’re here finally clicks in your overworked, exhausted brain. You’re the team medic, and they’ve all been hurt. They need you to do the same thing you’ve been doing all night, when all you want to do is peel off your bloody clothes and go to sleep. Instead, you need to triage. “Okay, who took an injury that knocked them out?”
Hands go up – Magne, Dabi, Kurogiri. Compress might have a facial fracture, based on the way his mask is askew. Spinner’s ribs hurt, but he never lost consciousness, and he’s not bleeding from anywhere. Twice, Toga, and Tomura are all beaten up but otherwise fine. You point them in the direction of the freezer so they can put together some ice packs, then turn your attention to the group who passed out.
Of the three of them, Dabi was unconscious the longest, and his injury was a head injury. He threw up when he regained consciousness, although thankfully not on your floor or your couch. He reports a splitting headache, and when you shine the penlight from your keychain in his eyes, you see that one of his pupils isn’t reacting normally to the light. That’s not a good sign. “Do you remember what happened immediately before the blow to the head?”
“Why do you want to know? So you can make your story sound better for the cops?”
“No, I’m testing your memory. It’s an indicator for the severity of the concussion. Track my finger with your eyes.” You observe his eye movements. It could go either way. “What happened before you were struck?”
“The damn kid turned us down. Who does he think he is?” Dabi scoffs. “Shigaraki told Compress to turn him loose, like a fucking moron, and then the fucking heroes broke through the wall. One of them kicked me and that’s all I remember.”
“Kicked you in the head?”
“That’s right.” Dabi groans. “Fuck off with that light in my face.”
You put the penlight away and think through your options. “I’m going to give you some medicine. Over-the-counter NSAIDs –”
“What?”
“Nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs,” Tomura says. You glance at him, surprised, and find him smiling slightly from behind the hand. “Acetaminophen or ibuprofen. They’re over the counter. You can get them without a prescription.”
“I know what over the counter means,” Dabi snaps. “I didn’t ask you. I asked the medic. Do you have some?”
“Yeah. Acetaminophen’s best for this. The bottles are opened, but I’m going to go get them – Twice, will you come with me and watch me get them?” you ask. Twice looks startled. “You can watch me and tell Dabi that I’m not tampering with the pills at all.”
“I’m not that fucking paranoid,” Dabi says. But he doesn’t tell Twice not to follow you.
You’ve been wondering if Twice remembers you. So far it seems like he doesn’t, but something jogs his memory as you come back with the bottles. “I knew I’d seen you before,” he announces loudly, and you shush him alongside Compress, Toga, and Tomura. “You stitched up my mask!”
“Did the stitches hold okay?” you ask. “I know it was a little rushed.”
“Barely,” Twice says. Then: “They were great! Lasted until Giran hooked me up with a new one.”
“You’ve met her before?” Compress asks, suspicious.
“Sure thing. If she’d showed her face, I could have backed up the boss and said she was all right!” Twice sounds cheerful. He slaps you on the back and you nearly spill acetaminophen tablets all over the floor. “Nicest nurse I ever had. No screaming, no calling the cops. Just stitched my mask and gave me the good drugs and sent me on my way!”
“He got the good drugs?” Tomura says, incredulous. “Why didn’t I get those?”
“You behaved. Sort of.” You need to get into the kitchen, but Toga and Tomura are both there, holding bags of ice to their various scrapes and bruises. “Can one of you fill a glass of water? The cabinet to the right.”
Tomura does it – with warm sink water – and hands it off. You head back to Dabi, drop a double dose of acetaminophen into his hand, and order him to drink the whole glass of water with it. You’ll hit him with the same dose in six hours, if they’re still here in six hours. It won’t do anything good for his liver, but if he’s in too much pain to rest and starts trying to do things, his liver will be the least of his worries. You order him to hold still, eyes closed, and focus on Magne and Kurogiri.
Your friends got you a stethoscope as a gag gift a while back, but the stethoscope is real, and you know how to use it. You listen for any irregularities in Magne’s breathing and heartbeat, then tell her to go into the bathroom and check for bruising on her torso – at which point she whips off her shirt. “Check for yourself.”
“Agh, no!” Spinner twists the other way, but not before you see his scales flushing. “Don’t do that!”
“Or at least give some warning,” Twice says. Then he gives a thumbs-up. “Looking good!”
“Put those away. There are children here,” Compress says.
“It’s okay.” Toga is staring avidly. “I don’t mind.”
“You should. We’re the League of Villains, not the League of Perverts.” Spinner is still facing away. “Are you done yet?”
“Are you done yet?” Magne asks you. You’ve been studying her torso and the series of bruises on it. “Well?”
“Nothing that suggests internal bleeding. You’re good to go.”
She pulls her shirt back on. “I hope you all enjoyed that. I won’t be doing it again.”
“Don’t,” Spinner says. “Please.”
You commandeer one of the ice bags Toga made and hand it to Magne, then turn your attention to Kurogiri. Kurogiri’s going to present a problem, and both of you know it. “What do you have in the way of internal organs?” you ask. “Heart, lungs, digestive tract –”
“Everything, but it will not be possible to listen to. This is in the way.”
“He can take it off,” Tomura says. “Kurogiri. Go somewhere else and show her.”
You’d say the bathroom, but Kurogiri’s a lot taller than you are. There wouldn’t be room. You go to your bedroom instead, leaving the door slightly cracked so you can listen to what’s happening in the living room and intervene if it gets too wild. Kurogiri shrugs out of his waistcoat, followed by his shirt, leaving nothing but a pair of pants and a swirling cloud of mist. Then, as you watch, the mist begins to peel back, revealing a body underneath it.
It’s pretty clearly a human body. It looks like it’s been stitched together out of multiple other bodies, but all the requisite parts of a human body appear to be present. So is the metal neckpiece of Kurogiri’s costume. Above it, though, there’s a face. It’s a young face. Younger than you, younger than Tomura, and it looks back at you with enormous yellow eyes. Its mouth moves, and the strange doubled voice issues from it. “Hurry up. I can’t do this for long.”
You conduct a quick physical exam. Unlike Magne, Kurogiri has actual puncture wounds. One actual puncture wound in his ribcage, and when you listen to his breathing, there’s a whistle on that side that shouldn’t be there. “You’ve got a punctured lung,” you say. “It might repair on its own. If there’s anyone else who can –”
“The doctor will perform the necessary maintenance,” Kurogiri says. That means zip to you, except that the doctor’s apparently willing to treat everybody except Tomura. “Is Shigaraki Tomura safe in your company?”
You look up into that young face, see the shadow of human eyes within the yellow ones. “He is.”
“Tell him where I have gone, and that I will return shortly.” Kurogiri vanishes.
You go back out to the living room and deliver the message, then check in with Compress and Spinner about their injuries. Compress won’t let you look under his mask, but does a self-exam under your direction and somewhat confirms your diagnosis of a cheekbone fracture. He gets NSAIDs and an ice pack. Spinner has a rib out of place. You need to put it back in.
He’s not making it easy. “Stop tensing up,” you say. “Every time you do that while I’m trying to put your rib back, the likelihood of a muscle tear goes up. That’s a lot harder to fix than a dislocated rib.”
“It hurts. I’d like to see you try it!”
“I haven’t had the privilege.” The temper you swear you don’t have is doing its best to break out of captivity. “Okay, here’s the deal. I have some vodka in there. You’re going to drink that while I check on the others, and then we’ll handle your rib. Okay?”
“Sure,” Spinner says, surprised. “You lift the bottle down from the top of the refrigerator and hand it over. “Thanks.”
Twice has mostly bumps and bruises, as well as complaints about the fact that Spinner got alcohol but he didn’t. You shoo him off to share with Spinner, then check in with Toga. Toga’s really interested in your scrubs. “How many people’s blood is on there?” she asks eagerly. “You’re so lucky. All that blood everywhere – doesn’t it smell good?”
“It just smells like blood to me. But my sense of smell probably isn’t as good as yours.” You look Toga up and down. “Did you get hurt anywhere?”
“No.” Toga keeps studying you. “Can you get some blood for me? If everybody’s already bleeding –”
“Sorry,” you say, and she pouts. “I’d get caught. Plus, don’t you want those kids’ blood? Blood from some random patient of mine probably won’t help much.”
“No,” Toga agrees, “but it would taste good.”
“I’ll take your word for it. You’re good to go, also.” You watch as she skips off to join Spinner and Twice, then turn your attention to Tomura. You saved him for last on purpose, hoping you’d get a chance to talk to him, and now that you have one, you don’t know what to say. “Um –”
“Don’t.”
“You don’t even know what I was going to say.” The fact that you don’t know either is immaterial.
“It was probably going to be some kind of pep talk. In your evil shrink voice,” Tomura says, and your mouth twitches. He notices, and a moment later he’s mimicking you. “Tomura, this could be a lot worse. You could have gotten everybody captured instead of just Sensei. The kid you handpicked to join the League of Villains blew Father’s hand off your face, but at least you’ve got a face, right?”
The joke occurs to you, and you’re so tired and overwhelmed that it comes out of your mouth with zero edits. “That’s one more face than Sensei has.”
Tomura coughs. “What?”
“Also, you missed part of what I was going to say,” you say, seizing the momentum and running with it. “Well, what you were going to say. You were going to complain about All Might winning, and I was going to say that he didn’t really win, because he leveled Kamino Ward and I spent all night trying to keep the people in those buildings alive, and mostly failing –”
“Wait, what?”
“And then,” you say, wishing you hadn’t said a word about your job, “I was going to remind you that everybody saw All Might’s scarecrow form. So nobody’s going to want him to fuck them now.”
Tomura’s expression contorts to a degree that looks painful. “That’s – not – funny,” he grits out.
“I mean, when we talked about rendering All Might unfuckable, I thought it was just a pipe dream,” you say. Tomura’s shoulders are shaking now. You don’t know what else to do but keep going. “But this is proof. The sky’s the limit. Anything is possible. I mean, if you can set up a situation that takes All Might from fuckable to unfuckable in a split second, then you can do anything you want to do.”
Tomura is staring at you, speechless and twitching like he’s caught in an electric fence, and even though you think there’s a nonzero chance you’re going to get killed over this, you can’t resist. “How’s that for a pep talk?”
“It sucked,” Tomura says, and then he bursts out laughing.
You’re proud any time you can make him laugh, and this is no exception. At first he’s just laughing. Then his breathing starts to hitch, and you realize that the laughter’s tripped another circuit in his brain – one he probably doesn’t want the others to see. “What the hell are you two laughing about?” Dabi demands from the couch. “Let the rest of us in on it.”
“Yes,” Compress agrees, “we could use something to laugh at.”
“Inside joke. You wouldn’t understand.” You catch Tomura’s sleeve and tug him down the hallway, out of sight of the others. His laughter is sounding less and less like laughter with every passing second, and he’s clawing at his neck with one hand. You keep your voice quiet, trying above all not to drop into the conflict-resolution voice. “No. Tenko, don’t. That’s not going to make things better.”
“I really fucked up.” His voice, already raspy, cracks in a way that sounds painful. “Things were supposed to – I’m not ready. I haven’t learned. He was supposed to teach me. I can’t –”
Something tells you that right now’s not the time for a joke. You think Tenko might be crying. No, you know it, and he knows you know. “Don’t look.”
You remember that from forever ago. He never wanted you to see him cry. You turn your back, as much as it hurts you to do it, and as soon as you do, his arms come up around you. His hands are curled into fists, shielding you from his quirk, one balled up against your shoulder and the other balanced over your hipbone. Something thuds against the floor behind you and you glance to one side, a jolt running through you. There’s the hand he calls Father, discarded.
Tenko’s body shakes, strongly enough to rattle you both. He’s taller than you, but not so tall that he can’t duck down and press his face into the curve of your neck and shoulder to muffle himself. After a few seconds, it’s clear that it’s not enough. You feel his mouth meet your skin. A moment later, his teeth.
It stings, and you will yourself not to flinch. You remember the few times you actually saw Tenko cry instead as opposed to just hearing it when you were kids, remember seeing him shove his fist into his mouth to stay quiet, but both his hands are occupied holding you. You wonder if he even knows he’s biting you. Or how hard he’s biting you. His breath is hot against your skin. So are his tears, and you stand there, not flinching, letting your best friend take what he needs from you. He let you hug him the last time you saw each other, when you were upset over something as small as meeting his master. Over something this big, he can have this as long as he wants.
When you cry, your tears usually stop quickly. It’s a skill you developed on purpose. But Tenko’s take a while to trail off, and it’s a little while after that before his mouth lifts away from your skin. He doesn’t mention the bite, and neither do you. He keeps holding you close. “What were you doing tonight, again?”
“Forget about that,” you say. “It’s not important.”
“Say it again.” Tenko’s hand drifts from your hip halfway under your shirt, three fingers resting against your stomach and his index finger raised. “Please.”
You try to think. “Um, I said you had one more face than your master has –”
This time Tenko snorts. “After that.”
“I said you’d say All Might won, and I’d say he didn’t, because he leveled Kamino Ward,” you continue, “and I spent all night trying to save the people who were inside those buildings –”
“That’s it!” Tenko stiffens. One hand grabs your wrist and pulls you around to face him, and you see wild excitement in his face. “You didn’t blame me for those people getting hurt. You didn’t blame my master. You blamed All Might. My plan – turning people against heroes – what you said about making them choose wrong – it worked!”
“It worked,” you say, bewildered. “Ten, I’m not exactly the common denominator here. Everybody else –”
“The ones who worship the ground heroes walk on – they were always a lost cause,” Tenko says. You won’t argue with that. People like your parents and siblings will never listen. They won’t even try. “It’s people this system hurts who will see what I’m doing. People like you. You –”
He breaks off, looking at you, grinning with tear tracks down his face. You remember this look, too. Except when you were five years old, you never saw it in the split second before he kissed you. His mouth fits against yours, messy and enthusiastic with blood on his lips, blood that could be his – or yours, depending on whether his bite broke the skin. Tenko pushes you back against the wall and keeps kissing you, only breaking away for air when he has to. You wrap your arms around him, since he can’t touch you safely, and try to deliver a reality check. “Tenko, I’ve known you forever. If I understand you –”
“Then I don’t need anybody else to,” Tenko says. “Everyone else can get behind us or get out of my way.”
He kisses you again, but before you can really get into it, Magne calls out from the living room. “Are you two done fucking yet? Spinner’s got the hiccups.”
Tenko’s face turns bright red. He scrambles to pick up the hand, and you head down the hall ahead of him. “If we were fucking, it would take a lot longer than that,” you say, and Magne lets out a low whistle. You turn to Spinner. “Sorry about the hiccups, but we can use those. Stand up, over here. And hold your arms out like this –”
Spinner does it, grimacing. You observe the timing of the hiccups for a few more minutes, then step in and apply the necessary force, popping the rib back into place. Spinner lets out a small yelp that would be more problematic if any of your neighbors were around, then lowers his arms. “Is it done?”
“It’s back in place. Feel better?”
“Yeah,” Spinner says. Then he hiccups. “Fuck it. No.”
“We can fix that, too,” you say. “Follow me.”
Tomura comes back while you’re feeding a spoonful of sugar to Spinner, instructing him to hold it under his tongue until it dissolves. He fixates on the two of you. “What are you doing?”
“Curing the hiccups.” You direct Spinner to sit down, then focus on Tomura. “What else do you need?”
“Food,” Toga says, to general assent. “Do you have food?”
“Not enough for this many people,” you say. “But we can order in.”
Five pizzas at nine in the morning isn’t the weirdest delivery order you’ve ever placed, and it’s also not the most expensive. You have a coupon, and the members of the League of Villains are surprisingly willing to pitch in – although Twice and Compress try to give you counterfeit at first. Tomura calls them on it, and they pay up in real money, after which Compress gives you a quick and unexpected lesson in how to spot counterfeit currency.
“Obviously, none of that holds if it’s a copy of Twice’s,” he says at the conclusion of the explanation, “but it’s much easier to tell with Twice’s currency. Observe –”
He drags a nail across one of the coins Twice gave you, at which point it collapses into sludge on your kitchen table. “That’s the problem with Twice’s stuff,” Toga says. “It doesn’t hold together long.”
“It looks great while it does,” Twice protests. Then: “I’m a failure!”
Toga and Magne both console him, which is weird to watch. Weirdly supportive. You didn’t think villains were supportive of each other – but why wouldn’t they be? Villains are people, just like anybody else. They have enemies. It makes sense that they’d have friends, too.
Kurogiri’s return from the doctor is poorly timed – it happens right as the pizzas arrive, and it takes every ounce of people skills you possess to prevent the delivery driver from carrying the pizzas inside for you. Kurogiri goes immediately to check in with Tomura, while everyone else tears into the pizza like they’re starving. It’s all you can do to retrieve a piece or two for Tomura. You’ve sort of lost your appetite. The last time you remember having one was last night, before everything went to hell.
You come back to Tomura and Kurogiri in the kitchen. They’re strategizing, and Tomura takes the plate from you with one hand and pulls you into the conversation with the other. “This can’t be our base,” he says to Kurogiri. “It’s too much of a risk for all of us, her included.”
“What if it were to act as something of a way station?” Kurogiri suggests. “It will likely be some time before we can establish a base with some of the creature comforts we are used to. Perhaps if we were to come here for things like showers, or laundry –”
“I don’t want them alone with her.”
“I’m not here for most of the day,” you say. “I’m at work, or running errands, or with my friends. As long as you aren’t seen and you don’t run my water bill through the roof or eat all my food – or steal my stuff – it’s fine with me.”
“Having access to a place like this would improve morale,” Kurogiri continues. His eyes tilt towards Tomura. “It would also give you an excuse to visit that no one would question.”
“I don’t need an excuse to visit. I can do what I want,” Tomura says. It’s quiet for a second. “Fine. If you’re okay with it –”
“I’m okay with it.” Your phone buzzes and you check it, hoping it’s Sho or Hirono, but it’s neither – just work, telling you that you’re not on until tomorrow morning, instead of tonight like you were supposed to be. “How long do you think you’ll be staying this time?”
“Until dark,” Tomura says. “We have to lay low for a little while. Then we’ll move.”
“I would recommend getting some rest,” Kurogiri says. “After eating that.”
“I don’t need to rest.” Tomura picks up the pizza and takes a messy bite.
On your first date, such as it was, Tomura said that villains argue like kids do. Based on what happens after the pizza’s consumed, they fall asleep after they’ve eaten like kids do, too. They hold off sleep long enough to fight over sleeping positions, but none of them go after your bed, and when Tomura starts yawning, you take the empty plate out of his hands. “My room’s darker. It’ll be easier to sleep there.”
You feel yourself relax the instant you shut your bedroom door behind the two of you. The other villains might be friendly to you, but you only trust Tenko, and to a lesser extent, Kurogiri. Tenko, paradoxically, tenses up. “I don’t need a bed. I sleep standing up.”
“Standing up?” you repeat, baffled. “How?”
“So I don’t destroy it. Once I touch something with all five fingers, it’s gone.” Tenko looks at the bed, almost longingly. “And I don’t have gloves.”
“I’ve got some,” you say. Tenko looks at you, surprised. “I took yours with me when I left last time.”
They’re folded on your dresser. You bring them over, and Tenko pulls them on, a moment before he knocks you backwards onto the bed. You give him a few seconds, then put your forearm against his chest to push him back. “Whatever we’re doing, I’m not doing it in bloody clothes. Let me get changed.”
“Fine,” Tenko complains, and shifts slowly to one side to let you up. At least he doesn’t ask you if he can help.
If you were alone, you’d shower, but you don’t want to risk being that vulnerable with an apartment full of villains. You change into your regular pajamas, the kind you’d wear if you were sleeping by yourself instead of in the same bed as your best friend, who’s a guy, who’s into you. You’re pretty sure Tenko’s not going to try for sex tonight. Not with his level of experience. And not after the day and night he’s had.
When you step out of the bathroom, changed for bed, Tenko’s sitting cross-legged on your bed, pretty clearly lost in thought. The hand is resting on your nightstand. “Hey,” you say, and he looks up.
He looks you over slowly, color coming up in his cheeks with every second that ticks past. Your pajamas aren’t particularly revealing, so you’re not sure what he’s getting excited about – but then his eyes fasten onto something and his gaze sharpens. “What the hell is that?”
You look blankly at him. “On your neck. It’s –” Tenko realizes what it is in the same moment as you realize what he’s looking at. “Fuck. Why didn’t you say something?”
“You were trying to stay quiet. I wanted to help.” You take a step back as Tenko rises from the bed and comes closer. “It’s not a big deal. It just looks –”
Tenko’s fingers brush over it and you wince in spite of yourself. “It looks worse than it is.”
Tenko steps past you, headed for the bathroom. The light switches on, and a moment later you hear him rummaging through the cabinet above the sink. “You’re a nurse. You don’t have band-aids in here?”
“The first-aid kit’s under the sink,” you say. Then something occurs to you. “This isn’t a first-aid thing. It’s just a bruise.”
“You’re not looking at it. I am.” Tenko comes back and drops the first-aid kit on the bed next to you. When you reach for it, he shoves your hand away. You reach for it a second time with the same result. “Stop. I did it, so I’m fixing it. Hold still.”
You sit there, bemused, while Tenko fumbles through the first-aid kit, trying to figure out what to use on a bruise that isn’t bleeding. “You could always kiss it better.”
“That’s lame,” Tenko scoffs. Then he leans in and does it anyway, lightly enough that it doesn’t sting. Your face flushes, a flush that only goes down once he’s come back with what feels like half a tube of Neosporin. When he speaks up again, his voice is quieter. “Why did you let me do that?”
“I didn’t let you,” you say. “Was I supposed to punch you or something?”
“Yeah. Or say ‘hey, don’t fucking bite me’. That would work, too.” Tenko sounds more than a little sarcastic, but it fades fast. “I don’t know how to do any of this. Not that out there –”
He gestures towards the door, the hallway, the League. “Or this in here,” he says, gesturing between the two of you. “You’re going to have to show me how. At first. Then I can pick it up as I go.”
“How to do what? Put a band-aid on a bruise?”
“Don’t be stupid,” Tenko says. You figured you probably earned that one, but you’re going to make him say it anyway. “Be – with somebody. Master never – it’s not like I’d ever do what my parents did – or that happy-ending bullshit on TV – I don’t know. And I figure you do, since you’ve got condoms in there.”
You weren’t expecting that. “Are you slut-shaming me?”
“What? No.” Tenko gives you a weird look. “There were, like, two missing. And they’re basically expired.”
“You counted?” You look at Tenko, and he snaps at you to face front again, his face turning red. “Don’t do things like that. It’s weird.”
“Look at that. You already taught me something.”
You’re tempted to retort that Tenko shouldn’t need to be taught not to snoop through your bathroom cabinet, but then you remember that Tenko wasn’t raised like you or anybody else you know. Tenko was raised by villains, and proper socialization doesn’t appear to have been a priority. It hasn’t taught him much about first aid, either. He’s peeling open the biggest band-aid in the kit, touching all kinds of stuff he shouldn’t be touching, before lowering it gingerly down over the bruise. “You’re already good at this part,” you tell him.
“What part is this?”
“Aftercare.”
Tenko’s heard the term before. You can tell by the way his ears turn red. He presses down the bandage at the edges, then sits back. “Next time, tell me not to bite you.”
“See? You can teach me stuff, too.”
Getting into bed is weird. Sure, you both made jokes about sleepovers the last time you saw each other, but this time there’s a bed – and thanks to Tenko’s snooping, you’re both well aware that there’s a mostly-full box of condoms somewhere in the offing. You get under the covers, and after a moment Tenko copies you, fully dressed. He doesn’t stay there too long. “This is too warm.”
“You can sleep outside the blankets. Or take something off.”
The rustling tells you that Tenko’s opted for door number two, most likely with his shirt. “Now what?”
“We sleep,” you say. You decide to save cuddling as a concept for another time. You close your eyes and within seconds, you’re asleep.
You wake up to your phone buzzing on your nightstand, and Tenko tossing and turning in a restless sleep on the far side of the bed. When you flip your phone over you see notifications from the group chat. A whole pileup of them. Hirono and Sho must have finally checked in. You unlock your phone to respond and your heart goes still in your chest.
Kazuo: They didn’t make it.
Kazuo: Sho’s building came down. He died instantly.
Mitsuko: fuck you
Mitsuko: if you don’t quit fucking around
Kazuo: Hirono was trapped in the wreckage. Once she was extricated, she was sent to Yokohama General and died there ninety-eight minutes ago.
Mitsuru: and you’re just telling us now???? what the fuck
Kazuo: We had to notify their families first.
Yoshimi: we’re their family
Yoshimi: what are we going to do
Ryuhei: Sho’s family treated him like SHIT, why do they get to know before we do??
Ryuhei: what the fuck
This isn’t on Kazuo. Whoever else it’s on, it’s not on him, so you wade in, your vocal cords tied in a knot. It’s a good thing this isn’t happening in person. Your friends already saw you cry once this year, and they need someone to be calm. I know Kazuo let us know as soon as he could. And Ryuhei, you’re right – we love them more.
*loved.
You look at Mitsuko’s addition, feeling sick to your stomach. Love. It doesn’t go away. It never goes away. If anyone knows that, you do. We should be together right now. Kazuo, are you okay to host tonight?
Kazuo doesn’t send anything more than a thumbs-up, which is how you know that whatever feelings he has left are hurt by how everyone’s treating him. What’s he been doing all night? Using his quirk. Identifying victims. You’re overcome suddenly with the need to see him, to give him one of those hugs he always stands awkwardly in but never pulls away from. He’s your friend, too. Your friend who’s never hurt you or dragged you into the middle of his disastrous crusade against society. A crusade that just got two of your other friends killed.
Your breath hitches in your throat, and beside you, Tenko stirs, sits up. “What?” he asks, but you don’t answer. Can’t answer. You’re too busy jamming your fist in your mouth, a move you didn’t realize you learned from Tenko until right this second. “Who are you talking to?”
Notificaitons come up – your friends, setting a time to go to Kazuo’s – and you power off your phone and shove it away. You’ll get there early. You need to talk to him first, tell him that you get it as much as anyone can, that you’re sorry he was forced into this position, sorry he was the one who had to say it. Sorry because this is your fault. If you’d told UA ahead of time what was happening, then the student wouldn’t have been kidnapped. Then there would have been no fight in Kamino Ward that led to hundreds, maybe thousands of casualties. If you had just –
“What is it?” Tenko shakes your shoulder. “Hey. Take that out of your mouth and talk to me. What –”
You pry your fist from between your teeth. “I’m going to tell you something, and I need you not to say anything.” You can’t sit through his justifications, his arguments for why it’s All Might’s fault, when all you care about is your friends and what happened to them. If they knew what was happening. If they were scared. “Two of my friends died in Kamino Ward tonight. I just found out.”
“I –”
“Don’t say anything,” you say. “Just –”
You turn to face Tenko, wrapping your arms around him, burying your face in his shoulder. The two of you have been through the hugging procedure enough times now that he knows what to do in response. He hugs you back, hauls you closer. His skin smells like sweat and smoke, but yours smells like blood, and you know already that you’ll be tearing the sheets off the bed, throwing them away, getting rid of the evidence. But it doesn’t matter how much evidence you get rid of. You can’t hide the truth: This happened tonight because of what Tenko did, and what you didn’t do.
You made this bed, you and Tenko. At least you get to lie in it together.
30 notes · View notes
mcflymemes · 3 hours
Text
PROMPTS FROM PERCY JACKSON & THE OLYMPIANS EP 1 *  assorted dialogue from the first episode of the television show on disney+, adjust as necessary
look, i didn't want to be a halfblood.
you fell in love with a god?
you are not broken. you are singular. you're a miracle.
hold fast. brave the storm. i love you.
from the moment i first saw him, i knew that i had never met a man like him before.
i'm used to feeling weird. i'm used to the world feeling weird to me.
when you're ready to hear what the gods have in store for you, they'll tell you.
he is still wearing underpants.
i know this place is hard for people like us... but we're not gonna be here forever.
something felt real to you, but no one else could see?
the truth can be so very hard to determine... but in this case, the truth seems very hard to deny.
why are you telling me this?
i know that this is hard to understand, but you have to believe me that this is real.
i am not a god.
usually i can sense danger coming a mile away.
why didn't you say anything?
something powerful is at work here.
it's not far, actually. just a little ways past the bend up there.
what else haven't you told me?
the important thing is not to panic.
you didn't tell him about me?
we'll continue this in the car.
you're my protector?
i'm not a baby! i know there's no such thing as monsters!
there are better places out there.
most of the time it gets you killed in painful, nasty ways.
if you think you might be one of us, my advice is... turn away while you still can, because once you know what you are, they'll sense it too, and they'll come for you.
don't say i didn't warn you.
why was i up there? i saw something.
if it happens again, make sure to tell someone.
it's not a thing you want to be saying to anyone.
we had a lot in common.
what's ahead of me?
what you see here are the truest and deepest parts of yourselves.
what do you see?
that's who you're named after.
what makes you think he was a hero?
do you understand me?
i believe you. and i believe you'll be needing this.
i feel like... maybe it's time to do something about it.
it was only a matter of time before we found you.
do you have anything to add?
none of this is easy. not for you, not for any of us.
i saw what happened at the museum.
you can tell me. i might just understand.
i suspect that you might have the most difficult journey.
this is my ride. i'm going home.
have you considered eating more fruit?
i should be apologizing to you.
is that all you got to say to me?
i'm really sorry. i tried this time.
i'm sorry. i'm just very glad to see you.
all that matters is that you're here, okay?
do you wanna talk about it?
something happened to me. something has been happening to me.
take your shoes off before you get in my car.
run away, little hero, before you get hurt.
i need to talk to you about something.
i can't go with you.
you're gonna need to be brave now.
remember what i taught you.
28 notes · View notes
rin-u-pos · 3 days
Text
Consequences
I was inspired by this post by @lanitalay
What if Tamlin had a lover before UTM and he still chose Feyre? I decided to torture my blorbo and wrote his version. Sorry for the grammar. It's been a while since I've taken an english class. And I didn't reread UTM so the details are fuzzy. My bad if I got anything wrong.
I stood in front of the gaping entrance. Nothing could stop the trembling. Coward. Liar. Oath breaker.
I promised myself I wouldn't set foot here ever again; stand in front of your presence ever again. Another promise broken.
What were you doing here in this wretched cavern? Did you not suffer enough in her captivity? You belong in the sun running through those fields of daffodils you love—cheeks pink from exertion, your eyes glowing as you call my name with that sweet gentle voice full of life and joy. Now only bitter cold and darkness remains.
I shake my head and approach your guards.
"I'm here to see Y/N. I have a request from the Spring Court."
They led me through those dark corridors not much different from before except for the silence. When that bitch ruled this hellhole, these halls were filled with cruel laughter, pleading, screaming and debauchery. Was your cell filled with these wicked sounds or were you damned to the silence of your own thoughts?
Just being in this place brought back everything. That fateful night she brought you out dressed in a sack, my blood ran cold. My world stood still as I witnessed your humiliation. My beautiful flower dressed in rags leaving nothing to the imagination. Those lingering stares and snickers. If she didn't have you in her clutches, I would've torn their throats out.
We enter the doors to the throne room and I glance at the wall where that human had been nailed. Clare Beddor. That's what Feyre called her. A pang of pain hit my chest. I mustn't think of her now. Not after everything she's done and not in front of you. Today I will give you my full attention just like I promised that fateful night.
"The moon is beautiful isn't it? A beautiful companion in the darkest of nights. That's what I want to be for you. I swear I will be by your side and be your light when the world grows dark. I will always protect you."
"Tam, I don't think the moon is an apt metaphor for it wanes and disappears," you wisely chided.
And you were right. You are always right.
I brace your cold stare and begin my request. "I know I've failed you. Hurt you...I come to you now not as your unfaithful lover, but as a citizen of spring. I'm in no position to request anything from you, but please listen. I'm here with a request from our people."
"They're not my people" you flatly corrected.
"Right... sorry. Feyre turned my court against me and my sentries left. Hybern is planning to destroy the wall and I've only managed to undue part of the damage she inflicted to my forces. Y/n we need to strengthen the wall and I can’t provide anymore of my defenses, they are spread thin as it is.”
I watched as you traced the patterns of your throne lost in thought. You sighed with a light smile on your lips and I knew you understood. Though my betrayal made your heart cold, I knew you still cared.
You glance up with that coy smile still gracing your lips only to be replaced with a blank stare.
“I’ve given it thought. My answer is no.” You nod towards your guards “escort the High Lord back to the border.”
"Wait Y/N! Please don't do this!" I screamed and fell on my knees begging, "I broke every single promise I ever made. And I will never forgive myself. I never stopped loving you even after I met Feyre. I had to marry her. She sacrificed everything for me. I loved her and I thought we understood each other. I wanted to come back to you, but I couldn't just abandon her. You were the best thing in my life, but you deserve better than me. You're so strong and I knew you would build a better life for yourself than I could ever give you. I never wanted this to happen and I swear I will make it up to you even if it costs me my life. So please," I pleaded and bowed my head until it hit the floor, "I beg you to reconsider your decision. Please help us."
Not a word. Silence. That damned silence more painful than that blade Feyre stabbed through my chest.
"Just like the moon my love has waned and disappeared. You reap what you sow. You chose wrong, Tam, face the consequences and get out of my sight."
Consequences.
All I had ever known were consequences.
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horsemeatluvr23 · 26 days
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ETHO HAS TIKTOK?!?!?!?
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astriiformes · 1 year
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Talked about this with the counselor I've been seeing at school earlier today but my intense, desperate need to leave a mark on the world (not even in a fame way, in like a "I need to leave this place better than I found it in a big, tangible way" one) and the fact that I only value myself when I feel like I'm adding good to it paired with the fact that I've been an insane perfectionist since I was a very young child and tear myself to shreds and lose all my confidence over tiny mistakes is literally going to kill me some day
#had been thinking about applying for a leadership position in our university ostem chapter for a while now#but psyched myself out of it last night before applications closed#because with everything that's gone wrong in the student group i was involved in this year i no longer trust myself to be a good leader#or frankly even a good person#i also had a slightly soul-crushing talk with a professor yesterday about my grade in her class#because even though she clearly thinks i'm brilliant (and basically said as much) i missed like two weeks of class#specifically because something happened with another student who i know i managed to make upset#(on accident. but it seems like she found my apology wanting)#and i feel so awful about it that i decided the only way to handle this was to avoid her so i didn't make her uncomfortable#so now my grade is suffering in a class i could've gotten an 'A' in#and it's just like. what am i even doing#i care so much about making the world a better place but i feel like such a bad person and trying makes it worse#and i know i'm under no obligation to put myself through this kind of stress but i don't know how to value myself if i don't#lately i feel like i'm beating myself up for being too fragile and unstable to even make a good martyr#and i know it's not healthy but if i try to step back i just get sad#like how now i feel awful about not sending in that application. and at least half dozen other similar things#i just want to make a real impact but it feels like the only thing i'm good for is making things worse#i'm not even fun to be around most days. i'm just.... sad
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girlscience · 4 months
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I just finished my first non-fiction book in probably years. It was 277 pages long. I can read a fiction book that short in about 2 and a half hours. This took me 3 months to complete. I do wish I was faster with non-fiction, I've got a huge list of science and political and historical books I want to read, but I have to remember these books require more brain power so it's not bad they take longer. The learning is important not the time.
#it was white fragility. which from my understanding is a pretty basic sort of baby's first foray into anti-racism#but it seemed like a good place to start? if I can't handle myself I'm not going to get anything out of the other books I want to read#I found a short paper on anti-colonialism/land back that I think I'm going to read next#I'm also in the middle of cobalt red but I had to return it to the library before I could finish so I placed another hold on it#idk I'm trying to educate myself#I have black and hispanic and indigenous friends and I am very aware that I'm white but haven't ever really done anything to learn#how that affects my relationships with them or to be aware of things I could do unknowingly/unintentionally or what biases I have#and I don't want to be another person that hurts them so I need to do things to be better#and I mean just generally in the world I'm around people of color all the time and I want to be aware and such there too you know#and then also everything about the history of the US and colonialism and such here and around the world#I benefit from that so I need to be learning about it and doing things to help fight back against it#idk. this is all stuff that's been on my mind for a few years#but I was struggling to actually act on it. hopefully I can keep doing better today and tomorrow#and reading and learning seems like a good place to start#I just have to keep reminding myself that these aren't fantasy stories and they require more thought and brain power than most books I read#so it's good thing it takes me longer. that means I'm considering and digesting what I'm reading#it is not a bad thing to read slowly
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homo-house · 7 months
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hey uh so I haven't seen anyone talking about this here yet, but
the amazon river, like the biggest river in the fucking world, in the middle of the amazon fucking rainforest, is currently going through its worst drought since the records began 121 years ago
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picture from Folha PE
there's a lot going on but I haven't seen much international buzz around this like there was when the forest was on fire (maybe because it's harder to shift the narrative to blame brazil exclusively as if the rest of the world didn't have fault in this) so I wanted to bring this to tumblr's attention
I don't know too many details as I live in the other side of the country and we are suffering from the exact opposite (at least three cyclones this year, honestly have stopped counting - it's unusual for us to get hit by even one - floods, landslides, we have a death toll, people are losing everything to the water), but like, I as a brazilian have literally never seen pictures of the river like this before. every single city in the amazonas state is in a state of emergency as of november 1st.
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pictures by Adriano Liziero (ig: geopanoramas)
we are used to seeing images of rio negro and solimões, the two main amazon river affluents, in all their grandiose and beauty and seeing these pictures is really fucking chilling. some of our news outlets are saying the solimões has turned to a sand desert... can you imagine this watery sight turning into a desert in the span of a year?
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while down south we are seeing amounts of rain and hailstorms the likes of which our infrastructure is simply not built to deal with, up north people who have built everything around the river are at a loss of what to do.
the houses there that are built to float are just on the ground, people who depend on fishing for a living have to walk kilometers to find any fish that are still alive at all, the biodiversity there is at risk, and on an economic level it's hard to grasp how people from the northern states are getting by at all - the main means of transport for ANYTHING in that region is via the river water. this will impact the region for months to come. it doesnt make a lot of sense to build a lot of roads bc it's just better to use the waterway system, everything is built around or floats on the river after all. and like, the water level is so incomprehensibly low the boats are just STUCK. people are having a hard time getting from one place to another - keep in mind the widest parts of the river are over 10 km apart!!
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this shit is really serious and i am trying not to think about it because we have a different kind of problem to worry about down south but it's really terrifying when I stop to think about it. you already know the climate crisis is real and the effects are beyond preventable now (we're past global warming, get used to calling it "global boiling"). we'll be switching strategies to damage control from now on and like, this is what it's come to.
I don't like to be alarmist but it's hard not to be alarmed. I'm sorry that I can't end this post with very clear intructions on how people overseas can help, there really isn't much to do except hope the water level rises soon, maybe pray if you believe in something. in that regard we just have to keep pressing for change at a global level; local conditions only would not, COULD NOT be causing this - the amazon river is a CONTINENTAL body of water, it spans across multiple countries. so my advice is spread the word, let your representatives know that you're worried and you want change towards sustainability, degrowth and reduced carbon emissions, support your local NGOs, maybe join a cause, I don't know? I recommend reading on ecological and feminist economics though
however, I know you can help the affected riverine families by donating to organizations dedicated to helping the region. keep in mind a single US dollar, pound or euro is worth over 5x more in our currency so anything you donate at all will certainly help those affected.
FAS - Sustainable Amazon Fundation
Idesam - Sustainable Developent and Preservation Institute of Amazonas
Greenpeace Brasil - I know Greenpeace isn't the best but they're one of the few options I can think of that have a bridge to the international world and they are helping directly
There are a lot of other smaller/local NGOs but I'm not sure how you could donate to them from overseas, I'll leave some of them here anyway:
Projeto Gari
Caritás Brasileira
If you know any other organizations please link them, I'll be sure to reblog though my reach isn't a lot
thank you so much for reading this to the end, don't feel obligated to share but please do if you can! even if you just read up to here it means a lot to me that someone out there knows
also as an afterthought, I wanted to expand on why I think this hasn't made big news yet: because unlike the case of the 2020 forest fires, other countries have to hold themselves accountable when looking at this situation. while in 2020 it was easier to pretend the fires were all our fault and people were talking about taking the amazon away from us like they wouldn't do much worse. global superpowers have no more forests to speak of so I guess they've been eyeing what latin america still has. so like this bit of the post is just to say if you're thinking of saying anything of the sort, maybe think of what your own country has done to contribute to this instead of blaming brazil exclusively and saying the amazon should be protected by force or whatever
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midnightarcheress · 2 months
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stress-relief
husband!Simon helping his wife!reader with her stress <3 cw: nsfw. mdni. fem reader, masturbation, squirting, a lil overstim.
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you shuffle through the bag to find the keys to your home, only to drop it the minute you raise it to unlock the door. great. it’s one of those days where everything goes wrong, and you want nothing more than to shut out the world and curl up in bed, silently praying for the next one to be better. 
you pick up the keys from the doormat and swing open the door of your flat, hoping that the familiar scent flooding your lungs will help you ground yourself back to a more serene state. tossing your coat and bag aside, your gaze falls on the tall man quietly reading on the sofa, sweetly mouthing a “welcome back, love.” that you dismiss with a grunt, stomping your way to the bedroom.
‘uh-oh.’ Simon thinks, siren already buzzing and red light blinking in his brain, making him pull up to his feet at god-speed and quickly follow you to your shared room, being met with your clothes scattered around and the sound of running water coming from the bathroom. he promptly puts away your discarded attire and sits on the edge of the bed, patiently waiting for you.
you stay in the shower for some good thirty minutes, allowing the water to wash away your stress as you massage your scalp. the weight finally falls from your shoulders and flows down the drain, leaving you alone with the tiredness that’s been brewing in your tense muscles since you stepped out of the house. with a long, weary sigh, you drape the towel around your body and walk out the bathroom, tiny droplets cascading from your hair to your chest, descending on the swell of your breasts and stirring your husband’s cock in his pants.
“gonna tell me wha’ got you so cranky, dove?” he asks with the slightest of teasing, knowing he’s staggering on the thin line of your temper.
“‘m sorry, jus’ a hard day.” you mutter sheepishly, turning to get some well-deserving comfy clothes on the dresser
“c’mere,” you barely have time to react before Simon pulls you by the wrist onto the bed, positioning your body between his legs as he rests on the headboard, “talk to me, lovie.”
his hands brush your arms delicately, fingers running up and down your skin as you start addressing the misfortunes of your day. how a jerk cut you off in traffic, how a client screamed at you on the phone after you explained it wasn’t possible to fulfill his request, how your long awaited sweet treat after lunch fell straight to the floor, how your mother called just to raise hell at you for not visiting enough, how your boss scolded you for a mistake that wasn’t even your fault.
“hm, she said tha’?” he murmurs, massaging the knots on your shoulders and slowly drifting his hands downwards, opening up the lightly damp towel that’s clinging to your frame as you ramble. his rough, calloused skin finds its way to your soft tits, gently kneading the fat while his lips plant small kisses all over your neck.
“i swear that woman’s out to get me, don't know how i haven’t been fired yet.”
“she knows tha’ place would fall apart without ya, doll. you’re the only one with a brain there,” he coos sweetly in your ear, fingers traveling down your stomach and reaching your mound, making your breath hitch in your throat. Simon smirks at your reaction, feeling your head tipping back to rest on his shoulder and your still wet hair soaking his shirt, “let me help you decompress, eh?”
you, too tired to resist the offer, let him spread your legs with ease, compliant to the touch of your loving husband. his middle finger smears the hasty arousal leaking from your cunt through your slit, softly caressing your folds as you melt into his arms. “so wet f’me, love.” he chuckles, slightly rubbing your clit as you hum.
his moves are tame, gradually pooling the warmth in your belly, taking his time to shape your tension until it’s the right moment to set you free. his finger toys with your entrance before sliding in, feeling the familiar walls of your cunt clenching around it, causing you to breathe heavily at just the beginning.
“you like tha’?” he whispers, introducing another finger on your tight hole as you turn to bury your face on his neck, mewling with pleasure and pain while he stretches you, digits hitting all the right spots. by the time he speeds up the thrusting, your moans are erratic, gasped, barely leaving your throat as you grasp his forearm in a desperate attempt to ground yourself, even with your brain reaching the fucked-out point by a simple touch.
his thumb lazily strokes your swollen nub as he continues to be knuckles-deep inside of your velvety walls, curling his fingers just enough to earn a squeal out of you. the coil on your lower stomach tightens, fibers threatening to snap at any second as Simon murmurs sugary praises in your ears whilst nipping the skin where your neck meets your shoulder, the love bite’s stings only intensifying the pleasure coursing through your bloodstream.
“Simon, ’m gonna-” you don’t even have the energy to complete your sentence before your juices flood on his hand, the god’s nectar gushing from your pussy and dripping from his wrist onto the long forgotten towel, as he bullies your clit to overstimulation. you cry out his name like a prayer, begging whatever higher power out in the universe to let you keep that sensation forever.
“looks like someone really needed tha’,” he laughs and you feel the deep rumbling from his chest on your naked back, only driving you closer to the edge as your legs convulse at the overwhelming thrill of your nervous system. your frantic moans echo in the room when Simon raises his free hand to your nipple, rolling the hardened tip between his thumb and index, painting twinkling stars in the ceiling, the scintillation being too much to keep your vision clear. “think ya got another one f’me, princess?” 
he doesn’t wait for your answer; he knows how to treat his precious wife and can cite by heart the prescription to get you to sleep better than any pill would. tears prickle in the corner of your eyes when he starts again, just barely giving you time to recover from the near out-of-body experience. 
his new rhythm is harsh, pulling your thighs - fully covered in slick and arousal - over his to keep you spread open, and fiercely pounding two digits inside you. you squirm and press yourself harder against his broad chest, babbling incoherently as he pumps his thick and scarred fingers somehow even deeper than before. 
“Si, ‘s too much, i can’t-” you choke out, streams rolling down your cheeks as he builds another orgasm out of you. half-lidded eyes meet his hazel irises in a lustful gaze, pleading in agony for another release before your body gives out.
it doesn’t take much before a jolt of electricity tingle beneath your skin and makes you cum, getting you blissfully drunk by finger-fucking only while your peak ripple through your core. your hands sternly grip on the sheets under your limp body, the frenzy running its way through every corner of your being, clouding your vision and leaving you in a divine peaceful haze.
your limbs twitch slightly as you come down from your high, Simon holding you tight in his burly arms and pressing kisses on your pretty face. “you did so good, lovie,” he praises, his thumb rubbing soothing circles on your belly, “could’ve given ya s’much more but your eyes are so droopy already,” his quiet laugh almost lull you to sleep right there and then, “feeling better?”
you nod, eyes tempting to close as the fatigue washes over you, weariness creeping up your mind after a hell of a day and a celestial end to it. “thank you, Si.” you mumble with nothing but affection in your voice, utterly elated by the sight of your devoted husband cradling you. 
“anything for ya, my wife.”
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just a little something i thought of while procrastinating my other works lol
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luveline · 7 months
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hellooo!! im not sure if your requests are open so feel free to ignore this but i was wondering if you could write for tasm!peter where the reader just got her wisdom teeth removed and she’s all loopy on anesthetics and forgets peter is her boyfriend? i saw this video where this girl got her wisdom teeth pulled and forgot she was dating her boyfriend and fell in love with him all over again😭😭
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPR7sGQo5/
thank you for your request! ♡ fem, 1k
"Here she is," the nurse says gently, walking you out with his arm behind your back. "Alright, say hi to Peter." 
"Hi, Peter," you mumble, eyes on the floor. 
Peter grins at you, worry warm at the back of his throat. "Hey. Is that everything?" he asks, nodding at the nurses paper bag of aftercare. 
"Everything you'll need." The nurse helps Peter take over, hoisting your arm over his shoulders before stepping away. "Alright, feel better, okay? And don't hesitate to call if something comes up. We're here to look after you." 
You seem appreciative in your fog, but it's hard to tell. Peter curls his arm around your hip and gives it a soft rub as he leads you to the stairs. Whoever devised the floor plan here had murder on their mind —the second floor is completely inaccessible. Luckily, Peter has a lot of strength at his disposal. 
You can feel it. "Woh, you're strong," you murmur. 
"You know that already." His grip on you tightens, pretty much carrying you down the tight staircase. 
"Do I?" you ask. You make a sound like you're hurting, a squeak. 
"I'd hope so." At the end of the staircase, he sits you down, worried you're not feeling well. "You okay? I can princess carry you if you need me to." 
You look at him with wide eyes. He turns to check there's no one standing behind him, but you're really looking at him. "What?" he asks, touching your knee, imploring. "You look like you've seen a ghost." 
"You're Peter?" you ask. 
Ah, the amnesiac effect of anaesthetic. His touch turns comforting, stroking your thigh with as much care as he can drive into his palm alone. "That's me. Hey, if you're forgetting me, does that mean you're not mad at me for last Friday anymore? 'Cos I know you said you forgive me but I can tell it still pisses you off–" 
Your eyes fall to his hand. "Why would I be mad at you?" you ask. 
"I finished the milk and put the carton back in the fridge, even though I promised I'd stop doing it. You see the jug and think there's milk left. We were gonna have macaroni and cheese..." He nudges your fingers with his. "Are you okay? You don't look like yourself."
"What do I usually look like?" 
"Not so, you know. Daunted." 
"You're really handsome," you whisper, refusing to meet his eye. 
"Oh, you think so?" 
You nod like your head is too heavy. You're embarrassed, you sweetheart, oh my god Peter could cry into your lap. 
"Let's get you to the car, baby." 
"Where are we going?" The gauze gives you the world's most adorable lisp, and it turns your gasp into a hum as Peter stands you up. 
"Home." 
"Together?" 
"Yeah, we live together. It's a nice place, and you're a great decorator, you know? It's cozy." 
"Thank you," you say shyly. 
You're not not shy with him, but it's been a long time since you got so quiet over a practically innocuous comment. He wants to see how you'll react to real compliments, over the top stuff that he one hundred percent means. It's a little mean, but when will you ever be like this again? 
He helps you out past the desk and onto the street to your car where it's parked a half a block down. "Don't worry about all this, okay? I'm gonna take such good care of you, sweetheart. There's an ice pack and a brand new comforter with your name on it waiting at home." Peter smiles at your starry eyes as they flash to his, amazed at his simple plans. "How does that sound, beautiful? Is there anything you want before we head home? Anything that would make you feel better?" 
"You're gonna take care of me?" you ask breathlessly. 
"That's my job. That's my number one boyfriend duty." 
"You're my boyfriend?" 
"I am!" he says happily, laughing as he speaks. "For a while. I've been trying to take things further but you're always really shy about getting married–" 
"You want to get married? To me?" 
Peter presses a soft kiss to your cheek. "You're the only person I'd ever want to get married to. We already picked the flowers–" 
"We did?" 
He laughs again, all your questions. He loves regular you but loopy you is especially endearing. "Last time I got super drunk, yeah. You never let me forget it." 
"So you love me?" you ask, stopping short.
"I love you so much," he says immediately, hugging you into his side. He dots another kiss against the top of your head. "You should remember that even if you don't remember me." 
"I love you," you say quietly. 
Peter doesn't know if that's your memory returning, or if you've fallen in love with him in the last fifteen minutes. He could easily fall in love with you that quickly, and yet he's still amazed at your confession. 
"That's good. That's great. Thank you, sweetheart," he says, desperate to hold your face in his hands but weary of causing you future pain. "There's your car," —he points, lowering his head to yours to make sure you can see it, hand now protectively held between your shoulder blades— "let's go home now. Yeah?" 
You start walking again at his requests. He can pretty much see the steam rising off of your face, giddy with happiness at these revelations. You're together, you're in love, and you think he's handsome. He wonders what you'll have to say about his biceps in this state of delirium; you go crazy for his arms sober. 
Which reminds him. 
"I totally have another secret to tell you," he says, unlocking the car as you approach and helping you into the passenger seat. 
"What is it?" you ask. 
Peter closes you in and skirts around the door, climbing into the driver's seat. He's glad that New York is as ridiculously loud as ever, because not even the closed doors or your sodden gauze can smother the way you shriek.
"My boyfriend is Spider-Man?!" 
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talkdutchtome · 2 months
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"Let me take care of you" - Max Verstappen
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pairing . . . max verstappen x reader )
genre . . . smut )
summary . . . after a disastrous race, you take care of max the best way you know how )
warning . . . smut, 18+ MINORS DNI, oral (m receiving), p in v, unprotected sex, creampie, nipple play, use of petnames, sub!max, very soft dom!reader, traumatized maxie, not proofread )
word count . . . 2800 words )
a/n . . . this actually ended up a lot more emotional than i intended it to be but i hope everyone likes it anyway. i don't know if my smut writing is getting better or worse tbh. any and all feedback is always appricated <3 )
Max was a perfectionist; anyone could see that. He also had a desire to win like nobody else. He never let up. It didn’t matter to him if it was a title deciding race or a completely meaningless one, he needed to win. It had been instilled in him for as long as he could remember; second place is first loser after all. So naturally, when his brakes failed, and his car very literally caught fire in the Australian Grand Prix causing him to have to retire three laps into the race; you knew he was not going to take it well.  
You were watching along in the garage, and the only thing you could think about as his smoking car pulled up to the pits was how hard on himself he was going to be. The fact that it was through no fault of his own was irrelevant. He had just handed a win to Ferrari, and that made his blood boil.  
In typical Max fashion, you barely saw him after he retired too. He gave you a quick hug as he reached the garage but after that it was straight back to business. He made his way to the pit wall and immediately began discussing with Christian and GP what exactly happened and how do they fix it for Japan. He sent you a text that he was going to stay late at the track with the mechanics so that you should just head back to the hotel.  
Truthfully, Max was avoiding you. You had only been dating Max for a couple of months, and so far you had only seen him dominate on track. And whilst you were concerned that that he would be beating himself up for disappointing himself or the team, he was busy focusing on how he had disappointed you. You had taken time out of your busy university schedule to travel to the other side of the world to see him race, and he had to retire three laps in. He was used to people living through him, taking his wins as theirs. He had never considered that all you cared about that he was safe and didn’t get hurt.  
So, you went to the hotel and waited for him; or at least you tried to. Tiredness and jet lag eventually started to catch up to you, and you had just started to drift off to sleep when you heard the door open. Looking up greet Max, you could see immediately how heavy the weight he bore on his shoulders hung.  
“Hey baby, how are you feeling?” You asked him sleep in your voice still evident. Max just hung his head and walked into the bathroom. He half expected you to berate him. To question him on exactly what went wrong and what he’s going to do to fix it.  
“Maxie?” You asked again, as he came in from the bathroom and made his way to his side of the bed, his eyes routed to the floor. This time he just grunted at you in response before getting into bed and turning away from you. He did not have the energy to be told everything he did wrong and why - he had already had that from his dad.  
“Please talk to me Maxie, I’m worried.” You pleaded at him, fighting the urge to wrap your arms around him. You wanted that more than anything, but you sensed that he maybe didn’t feel the same.  
“What do you want Y/N?” He finally spoke, his voice cracking.  
“Are you okay? I know that was tough result to take but it’s only once race. We both know you’ll be back better than ever for the next one.”  
To your words, Max just grunted again. And this time you couldn’t help but reach over to hold him. Wrapping one of your arms around his waist and the other coming up to brush through his hair. You waited cautiously for him to pull away. A moment passed and he began to move, your heart sank; he clearly didn’t want to be anywhere near you right now. But instead of moving away, he just turned around, bringing himself closer to you, resting his head on your chest.  
“I just hate to let the team down” he spoke, his voice no more than a whisper, like he wasn’t 100% convinced if he should be saying anything.  
“But baby you didn’t let them down, you did nothing wrong. There was an issue with the car that isn’t your fault.” You gazed down at his face, your hands smoothing through his hair.  
“I could have done something. Maybe I pushed the brakes too much. Maybe I went too hard. All I know is that I let the team down. I let my dad down. I let you down. You cam-“ He started to ramble, but you had heard enough.   
“Whoa Max baby slow down. I can’t speak for the team or your dad, but you certainly did not let me down. All that matters to me is that you didn’t get hurt. I was so worried; you were literally driving a car that was on fire. You could have been hurt.”  
As the words left your mouth, he looked up at you. Almost as if he was trying to see if you were telling the truth. When his eyes met yours and he realized you were being sincere, he hugged tighter into you.  
“I love you Y/N” he spoke and before you could say anything, you felt him bring his mouth to your neck. Leaving hot open-mouthed kisses from your collarbone up to until he met your mouth. His lips crashed against yours. The kiss was hungry and desperate. His hands found your hair and his teeth nipped at your lips. He quickly found himself getting lost in you and you weren’t too far behind. But when his hands wandered towards the bottom of your pajama top, you had to pull away.  
“Wait, Maxie. Are you sure you want to do this? You’ve had a rough day, are you sure you want to do this. We could just go to sleep if you’d prefer.” You didn’t want him to feel like this was something he needed to do.  
But when his lips once again found your neck, it was clear you had your answer. “Please” he mumbled against your skin “I just want to forget” between each word he left a kiss on your neck, before beginning to nibble against that one spot on your neck that he knew always sent you completely insane. He left deep purple marks all down your neck and you couldn’t help but let a moan slip through your lips.  
You were about to completely cave into his touch before you had an idea, and before you could overthink whether it was a good idea, you swung your legs over him until you had him pinned underneath you, your legs either side of his. A smirk plastered across your face 
Max looked completely taken aback at your action, but the second you leant down to kiss him, your lips just slightly brushing against his; he was starstruck and could feel himself growing harder by the second, which only deepened your smirk.  
“Let me take care of you baby” you whispered in his ear before beginning to grind your core against him. The whimper that left Max’s lips took you both by surprise but, taking that as confirmation that he wanted you to take control; you attached your lips to his neck, trailing kisses down his chest until you reached the waistband of his underwear. It was clear from the way that his hard dick strained against the cloth that Max was enjoying this new side of you, and you could be lying if you said it didn’t give you a bit of a confidence boost. 
You started to tease him, placing warm kisses over his underwear, but when you hear him try and fail to beg you to touch him, it becomes clear that maybe today isn’t the day to tease him. So, you hook your fingers around his waistband and release him from the tight confines of the cloth. Immediately, your mouth found his cock, your lips wrapping around his tip. Max’s moans filled the air as he came apart like putty in your hands. The way that your tongue swirled around him made him go crazy. He reached out his hands to grab your hair in a makeshift pony, but you dodged him. Max honestly thought he was going to cry when you took your mouth off him. 
“No baby, I told you I was going to take care of you, you just sit back and let me do everything” you told him before quickly placing a kiss on his lips before reattaching your mouth to Max’s throbbing dick and bringing your hand to the part of it that you couldn’t fit in your mouth. Max felt lightheaded; it’s not like you hadn’t given him a blowjob before, but never like this. He couldn’t ever remember being this turned on before. He had never even considered letting you take control, letting you take care of him so intently before; but now that he was experiencing it – he kicked himself for waiting so long. 
The sounds coming from your boyfriend were music to your ears and only encouraged you to make him feel better and better. You could feel yourself getting wetter, completely desperate to feel him inside of you; but today was about Max, you’d happily wait longer for your own pleasure to take care of him. You began taking him deeper and deeper into your throat, earning more moans from Max. You had never heard him be so vocal before. Things got even better for him when you hallowed your cheeks and brought your hand up to his balls, massaging them in your hands as you worked his dick in your mouth.   When his tip hit the very back of your throat and you gagged around him, he was so loud you were just slightly concerned that whoever was in the room next door would be up for a rude awakening.  
“Oh, fuck baby, oh my god. I’m so close” Max just about managed to get out between moans, promoting you to once again let go of his dick. For a second Max looked at you with puppy dog eyes, silently begging you to take him back in your mouth. But as soon as you stood up and very slowly pulled your pajama shorts down, he realized that there were better things to come.  
“Do you want me to ride you, Maxie?” you asked him breathlessly earning another groan from the man lying on the bed. 
“Fuck, yes. Please please ride me I need to be inside of you more than anything” Max’s voice was weak; it was becoming all too much for him. And when you finally rid yourself of your pajama top, Max started to see stars. Your tits were his weakness, and you knew that all too well. All he wanted was to take them in his mouth, to suck and bite on your nipples. So, when you straddled him once again, that's exactly what he did. You thought about stopping him again, reminding him that tonight was about him and his pleasure; but when you caught sight of his eyes – usually so bright and sparkling. Now they were so dark, so filled with lust and desperation, you didn’t have the heart to deprive him of one of his favorite things to do.  
You leant down to kiss him again, and the taste of his own precum on your tongue made him groan feverishly against your lips. Unable to wait anymore, you finally lowered yourself onto his dick. Now it was your turn to let out a string of moans and profanity. The way that he stretched you out was a feeling that you could never grow old of. After a beat to get used to having him inside of you, you began to bounce on top of him, pumping his dick in and out of your tight desperate pussy.  
“Oh my god Maxie you feel so good, your huge dick sends me so crazy” You moan out, completely cock drunk. “You fuck me so good, god nobody makes me feel like you can” Your praise made Max moan louder than ever and then he simply couldn’t help himself anymore; he brought his hands up to your hips and began thrusting hard into you. You wanted to tell him to stop, to tell him to let you take care of him – but when he rammed his cock into g-spot you physically couldn’t ask him to stop doing something that felt so good.  
“I love you so much Y/N baby” Max croaked out, bringing his mouth back to your tits and his hand down to your clit. Him touching you for the first time tonight meant it was now time for you to see stars. His expert hands rubbing against your clit brought you closer and closer to release and you could tell from the way that Max’s thrusts became deeper and harder that he wasn’t far behind you. 
Wanting to finish what you had started; you placed your hands on his chest – signaling him to stop for a second. Max did so very reluctantly, but when you started to bounce on his dick again his eyes rolled back into his head. After each bounce you grinded yourself down on him, desperate to get him as deep as you possibly could. Your climax was getting closer and closer and soon you felt like you were ready to burst. 
“I’m going to cum on your dick okay baby? You just make me feel so good I can’t help myself.” you told the man beneath you breathlessly, prompting Max to resume rubbing circles into your clit. 
“Please do. Please cum all over my cock I need that so much” Max croaked out and with that you fell over the edge. A wave of pleasure washed over you and you screamed out for Max. It felt so good you thought you were going to pass out, completely taken over by the pleasure that Max’s hard dick had given you. For a few moments, you simply had to still yourself to let yourself recover. 
Once you had ridden out the last of your orgasm, you were ready to go again; ready to make Max feel as good as you possibly could. You began grinding down onto him, squeezing yourself against him. After feeling you cumming all over him, Max knew he wouldn’t need long before he was right behind you.  
“Fuck Y/N I’m really close, get off and I’ll finish in your mouth” Max just about got out between moans. When you didn’t get off and instead began bouncing faster and harder, Max really thought he might just die.  
“Cum inside of me Maxie please, I need your cum fucked so deep inside me”  
“Fuck really?” 
“Yeah, i need it so bad.” 
“Oh my god Y/N, you’ll be the fucking death of me” 
The second those words left his mouth, he fell apart. A string of profanity left his lips, and you could feel his dick pulse inside of you as he painted the insides of you white with his cum. Max couldn’t believe how good it felt, sex with you was always great but that was on another level, he couldn’t remember ever feeling that good before. 
“I love you so much Y/N” 
He gently slipped himself out of you and you collapsed next to him on the bed. Exhausted wasn’t the word for how tired you felt after that. And apparently that was true for Max as well as in the time that it took you to waddle to the toilet to clean yourself up, he had managed to fall asleep. You couldn’t blame him of course; even before that it had been a very long tiering day for him. So, as quietly as you could, you got ready for bed and slipped yourself into bed next to him.  
Looking at the very peaceful sleeping man next to you, you couldn’t help but snuggle down close to him. Placing a kiss on his temple before assuming the big spoon position that you know he loves so much from you. Your movement causing him to ever so slightly stir awake. 
“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me” he spoke so softly you almost missed it before falling right back into a very peaceful sleep. You couldn’t help but feel so lucky to have a man like him cuddled close to you. 
“Sleep well Maxie, I love you more than anything.” 
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cy-cyborg · 9 days
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Hey, able-bodied folks, if a disabled person is complaining about something being unfair/inaccessible because of our disabilities, you know you don't have to explain to us why that unfairness/inaccessibility a thing, right? Chances are we know it is the way it is. It's still unfair and we still want to talk about it.
I saw a video by an amputee warning other disabled people not to go to Thorpe Park in England, as they paid full price to enter, but were only allowed on 3 rides due to their amputation. This is something I also experienced when I went to the Gold Coast (mostly at Movie World, Wet n' Wild and, to a lesser extent, Dreamworld) and at Lunar Park in Sydney. There were also several others in the comments talking about similar experiences elsewhere.
But among these comments were dozens of people saying, "it's for health and safety reasons! The ride won't be able to hold you in!" And like... yeah, we know why. It doesn't make it any less unfair that we pay the same as you for a fraction of the experience. It doesn't make it feel any less shitty when you scrimp and save to do something like go to a theme park only to have to sit on the side line and watch your friends/family have fun without you. It doesn't make it any less scummy that there's very little warning that this will be the case (most of the time) until you arrive. It doesn't make it any less frustrating that so many recreational and fun activities don't even consider the possibility that disabled people would want to join in.
It's not just this video. It happens a lot. Any time someone complains about inaccessibility, there's always someone there trying to explain why the inaccessibility is there.
A resteraunt or shop isn't accessible? "Have you considered the person just didn't know/didn't have the money to fix it/were renting and weren't allowed to fix it?"
You called to see if some place was accessible, were told it was but when you arrive, it's not? "Have you considered the person didnt actually know/ thought it was and just made a mistake?"
You complain that a device/item/furniture item you bought isn't usable because of your disability despite there being no indication this would be the case before you bought it/no way to further verify it before hand? "Have you considered that disabled people make up such a small minority of their buyers they just didn't realise?"
Yeah, we know. Every single one. We considered it. a lot more than you did, i promise. We know why. We know sometimes mistakes happen, people don't think to consider us, there could be health and safety reasons for the lack of access, that people just don't know, and that it's not usually maliciousness or intentional ableism. I promise, we know all of it. We still need to talk about it though, so things can get better.
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