#i dont like listening to podcasts in general they scare me but

[jrueships]

pg really had THE wag jarebear on his show and proceeded to dish out all his personal onions on his teammates i 😭😭

#it's like watching someone try to therapize harley quinn off her love of the joker #pg does like. zero research 😭 im so #he just relies on his experience to help connect the interviews all interestin-like #but other than that u think hes gonna look into the PAST??? when it's not INTERESTING?? or CONNECTIONS??? no!! #that takes away from playstation 5 p!!! #if the podcast had a normal interviewer... i dont think 1 a lot of players would wanna come cus no duh no selling point #but 2. those that did would be bored #i mean normal interviewer as in like if pg didnt have the status and was just some dude who liked basketball sorry too late to edit #like he really banks on the fact that Hes Pg with alot of these questions/talking points 😭 #that jalen green interview... #NOW I COULD BE ACTIN A LIL RUDE. my attention span isnt great so long videos arent my forte #i have SEEN seen em n certainly not ALL of the podcasts #i dont like listening to podcasts in general they scare me but #i watch a few while working out but thats sometimes bcs mainly i like music #BUT FROM WHAT IVE SEEN.. #theres been some frequent disconnects that couldve been avoided with just a Little more depth #a Little more diving #good thing paul always has another podcast friend to help 😭 but pg LOOVES asking questions so #sometimes he just be chitchattin 😭 #jarens eyes getting all wide when pg brought up d*llon LMAO #im ngl it's kinda entertaining LMAO only bcs it's for the better jarebear!! if pg thinks hes in the right (which he always does) #he WILL speak his perceived truth! they either hit hard or miss harder (..coughdameconflictcough) HE WILL NOT BUDGE!! #and he is actually correct with this one! someone had to say it jaren!! just sorry it had to be pg 😭 #but if he pulled that with anyone else and their friend i would be a lot more uncomfortable lol idk #i love the concept of being messy but i could never commit like. i got other shit to do 😭 yall have fun

[otpadsis]

#the magnus archives #jonathan sims #my anxiety went so fast over the skies because i listen to like 10 eps a day #me as an anxious and generally scared of everything girl: hmm yes mystic horror podcast right what i need #paranoing like jon <3 #i feel bad drawing fanarts of relatively real people whom i dont know personally eh..

[plant-cell-park]

god i wish i had the skill to talk to mutuals on the regular and not feel that pang of social awkwardness like 24/7

#compost bin contemplations #hi non-irl mutuals! if you are seeing this. i so badly want to infodump to you about the podcast i started listening around mid-june #and talk to you about my general happenings in life like how my laptop keeps sleeping at random and its starting to worry me #i just dont because im scared of starting the conversation...

[hermanunworthy]

intro to my MADNESS !!!

★ hiya!! im siren + i use any pronouns (id prefer if u dont stick to just one though!)

★ im a 21 y/o bi enby (specifically hologender + genderfraud.. both labels coined by me hehe). i am in a relationship—i love my gf!! (hi zoe)

★ this is EXCLUSIVELY a dndads blog! i started listening to the podcast 2/24/23, and have been OBSESSED w it every day since!! hermie is my fave character from ANY media!! i like to think of myself as their biggest fan :3 (i am going insane)

★ i am a digital artist + i use clip studio paint to draw! i post all my art on here, but i use the username @h010gender as my artist tag (it was my original blog, so i follow/like from there)

★ i also write fanfic! (almost all of it is oakworthy....) u can find me on ao3 under the same username, so go support me on there too!!

★ asks/dms/etc are always appreciated!! u will find out very quickly that i LOOOVE to talk. plz dont be scared to reach out, i am the least intimidating person ever <3 (lets become friends!!!)

★ #siren says is my general talk tag, #my art is my art tag, #my fic is my writing tag, + #answering asks is my ask tag!

thanks for reading!! + remember to stay silly, hermanation <3

#intro post !

[thepringlesofblood]

there’s 2 categories of lmam songs I listen to on repeat

lets make a music songs that are unironically beautiful and profound in their own way despite being made as a joke/goof song

flailing around on the side of the road

turn around and come down slowly

discarded in the thicket behind the outback steakhouse

can’t get you out of my head

echoes of wednesday

gentle light

the original wizard

the ocean is still there

song of green bastion

heartbreak at michael’s

heartbreak at michael’s reprise

let’s make a music songs that fuckin S L A P regardless of the level of goofs present.

madame zamporium’s wax emporium

alan rickman’s edible zoo

hunk night summer

fresh baby with a cola

iridescent all over

i told you that i was not a slug (but i lied)

horsecar

witchs’ potluck

mr 1981

mourning ritual

well im on child

debutaunt ball

save 2 4 tony

proud egg mouth

akimbo

Tobie’s Razor Scooter

Let Down My Better Dynamite

why dont you like our song title (slaps slightly less than the rest of them but the humor makes up for it)

arbor day

there there’s also these honorable mentions:

let’s make a music songs where the lore is better than the song (but the song isn’t nec. bad just the lore is better)

dr brims (gave me gender euphoria I didn’t know I needed)

haunted home (i almost put this in “slaps”, but the frequent “zoom” check ins, while genius in storytelling terms, kind of interrupt the Vibe of the music for me)

shan’t he shanty

rainbow trout eggs

the tale of the greazzy creek (i very much do not like the general audio experience of listening to this, but the lore, and hearing laura say “and alex pegnata, who’s just a fucking asshole!” in a bright nickelodeon announcer voice is fantastic)

wake up for big veg

medium rare

stalagmighty

astral PI

Out There (also slaps hard, but the story is such an integral component to why it slaps)

21st blitheday (I listened to this episode on my 21st birthday. it felt nice. this fucking song gets stuck in my head so easily that i can no longer listen to it without committing to like 3 months of twENtY OnE!)

sybil’s night scare

dreamless + ratless randy’s (another one I can’t listen to without committing to weeks of it being stuck in my head)

dragon me to this wedding (the story is fucking hilarious but the way he sings it gives me puff the magic dragon flashbacks which is Traumatic for me in ways I can’t explain. I just listen to the podcast ep)

stinky bug

this is 44/60 of their songs. they have a good hit rate what can i say.

#original post #lmam #bdg #thank u so much to the person who pointed out the criminal omission of heartbreak at michaels in the original post #i think about 'a mosaic kind of goodbye' at least twice a week

[sun-undone]

Season 3 recap was *chef's kiss* I was so giddy throughout the entire episode! You put so much love into the podcast and it really makes it feel like talking with a friend 💜

I thought about a few stuff that I think will be fun and interesting

- Sarah and jj's friendship. I am a huge cambank fan and obsess over any crumb we get. They have really good dynamics and I totally agree, we need more of them and more friendships in general

- I wonder if we will get to see Rose and Wheezie again

- they were very focused on fathers in the first 3 seasons do you think we'll get to hear more or even see a mother?

- now that Topper really has gone to the dark side he teams up with Rafe (and maybe Barry gets a bit jealous 😏 i dont think he really will but it's fun to think about)

-and Cleo, I wish we got to know Cleo more this season. So far she's been the tough one and like you said about seeing a scene mirroring the hottub scene with jj being there for kie, seeing another side of cleo would have been nice. We got a glimpse in the last episode but we need moreee

Thank you so much for doing this! I love listening to you talk about the boat show 🧡

ahhh thank you so much!!!! i'm so glad you enjoyed listening! ☺️

i'm so glad i'm nowhere near the only person who sees the potential in cambank, like literally everyone in the fandom is either obsessed with that dynamic or is at least interested in it. give the people what they want pates!!!!! i know they have someone lurking in the tags on social media so there's no way they haven't come across the edits about JJ and Sarah being so similar in so many ways. my only fear is that they've been scared off by the theories that they're actually siblings, which i personally never want to happen in the show, and it seems like the pates feel the same way since Maddie Cline keeps bringing it up in interviews. but they can so easily avoid the sibling thing and just write more scenes with them together!!! i really thought that season 3 would've been the perfect time since they were both struggling with being back in the obx and they literally both have a tendency to run from vulnerability and hurt people they love in the process like hello????? god i will forever believe that if JJ had been at his house in episode 6 when Sarah goes there, then she wouldn't have cheated with Topper and that's exactly why the pates refused to give it to us. they literally chose stopper over cambank and i'm disappointed but not surprised! sorry this was such a long rant out of nowhere aljdhjkahd but yes, more cambank in s4, i'm starting the petition now

speaking of Topper, i'm gonna move down to that bullet point real quick and just say that i actually think there might be some more potential for comedic moments if Topper seriously starts hanging out with Rafe and Barry like COULD YOU IMAGINE???? the dude couldn't handle the pogues, i think he'd shit his pants if he was in the same room as the local drug dealer. idk i think i said in the episode that i didn't want Topper joining forces with Rafe, but if he's very much on the sidelines and is made fun of by the writing the entire time, then i will absolutely take that. although i've said this before and i'll say it again, Topper continuing to even speak to Rafe, much less still being friends with him, after knowing everything that he's done is so transparent to me. his attitude toward him in season 2 was absolutely bizarre to me, and season 3 was even weirder, like does he really hate Sarah that much that he's gonna take advice from and be swayed by the person who tried to drown her?????? i know he was in a very emotionally vulnerable spot, but the fact that he doesn't put up much of a fight against Rafe when he's starting his spiel about Sarah just shows me that Topper has some underlying respect for him which is just so gross. but whatever, if the pates are actually gonna start committing to Topper not being the good guy that they tried to convince us that he was, then it finally makes sense for him to be able to excuse Rafe's bullshit and be buddy buddy with him again. maybe Topper will actually be a consistent character for once now that he's on the dark side! let's have him sulk in the corner while Rarry does their thing 🥰🥰

as for the other points, i'm gonna save those for the next podcast episode!! thanks so much for sending them in and for listening!!! 💕

#diver down podcast #obx

[martiriosfarm]

my eyes dead from 3 days xcel spreadsheet, but, entire time i was listening to cuba podcast. and the specialness of getting people to commit to your revolution, bc literally every centroamericano i talk to here, america hating is easy, but then also turning around and being like communism or socialism is what my country needs, nobody ive heard says that. everyone here reactionary as shit, or the way they treat women, white girls, thats just norvins people tho, literally their last names/blandon, etc might be the drug trafficker families, antisandinista, gary webb, etc. but like, the insanity of 60s, real strangelove like crazy fucking jsoc generals in a room pushing already anticommunist kennedy to invade cuba n trigger nuclear war, all those conversations he recorded w button under his desk, soviet submarine descends all the way down to wait and dont know if nuclear war is happening above and then 3 commanders almost launch nuclear bomb in carribean bc feel rumbles from depth charges or whtever and its 100 degrees inside sub everyone is losing it and think theyre being bombed. catholic church stealing kids again (like north america n hungary revolt they also did something), w us government spread rumors thru middle class cubans when fidel is planning to overhaul education system that theyre going to take your babies and send them to ussr. all of this on voice of america radio programs beamed from honduras, people listening freak out and some catholic bishop signs visa waivers n parents send their kids to u.s. instead bc scared, to foster homes n they dont come back. the strength it takes to keep committed to revolution whn you have to fight for your own peoples heads, bc they keep hearing bullshit from the u.s., when us keeps battering at you with stupid psyops for decades decades, che going to bolivia and getting captured, getting shot by drunk man w shaking hands who shoots 9 times. but craziest thing is, they said in 90s 2000s cia funded cuban rappers, n sent american rappers who came over, thankful for keeping assata, but also criticizing cuban gov, and they said el aldeano!!! who i heard adrian listening to n liked and listened to it myself, received cia money lfdkdfn bc stupid contra govt messages. and then when that news came out in like 2008, they broke up, but individually still going. but fucking insane,,,i wanna read about it, might not even be that they’re controlling their message, but just that got overamplified bc good rappers n got money. n i was thinking i bet they funded ovi too..they wouldnt have to theres enough people who think that way..but its literally political education oh my gdd like without that everything falls apart. bc the way random people, millions billions of people r affected by american psyops? just in something like music they listen to? crazy. i tried to tell juan but got sidetracked which is ok bc what he has to tell me is also always amazing. stories i get to hear.

#* #cuba #america #blowback podcast; btw

[petitelepus]

i have been going on a matchup spree out of boredom so beixjejd

if its okay, can i have a TWST matchup. if not, then feel free to ignore this- so tysmm!

personality;. I’m a 6w5 ENTP- except i dont really fit into the usual ENTP stereotype. it kind of actually relates to a lot of deeper psychology functions in each personality type. and i usually follow carl jung’s belief that each aspect of a personality is still in a person(even though it isnt common in them) and it can eventually be developed over time soooo yeah

in general, i can be pretty bright and chaotic but I can be super chill when i’m not in the mood for it. i kinda like being a menace and pranking people. sometimes, when I’m feeling extremely hyper, I like to make violent and/or flirty jokes. and i also laugh at my own jokes(but its kinda funny) and i also like to seem overly confident in myself. usually, im straightforward and blunt with people. however, with strangers, i’m more quiet and i won’t really talk to you unless you approach me first and then, i kinda of start smiling and being really friendly.

otherwise, i can actually be really responsible and smart. it’s just that i act dumb at first especially since it’s amusing to see how people would react to it

- Hobbiesss; i really, really like to research online about specific topics or listen to educational podcasts/documentaries/etc. or sometimes, im usually playing video games, or im simply talking to friends or sometimes, i like to chill and read

- dislikes; iii hate insects like i will cry at the sight of one. i dont like ppl who sugarcoat things and/or don’t actually mean what they say. I literally hate feeling bored like its the worst feeling in the world. i also tend to feel a little intimidated with overly tall people that are like over 6ft especially since i am 4”9

- likes; I rlly like horror moviesss/video games and music. i like video games in general too though and i rlly like learning. i also like mysterious and thriller stufffff. i also rlly like rings, i love them so much. anddd my birdss, i love my pets so muchhh- i also really like philosophy. i love math a lot mostly because i’m really good at it and especially because i love problem-solving and coming up with ideas

I match you with Floyd Leech!

When Floyd first met you you were quiet and wouldn't talk with anyone. How cute and easy target for his teasing! Only when he started to talk with you, the more outspoken you turned and he soon learned that you are actually really fun company to have around!

Sure, you appeared a little simple-minded at first, but the more you spent time together, the more you would show your real colors.

The two of you are kinda similar, but no one would be able to handle Floyd and his mood swings like someone who is as chaotic as him. When both of you get enough of chaos and such, you two relax like a pair of lazy cats.

You're the life of the party and there is never a boring moment with Floyd and you both love it! He knows all about your jokes and their nature so he can trust in it that your jokes always make him laugh. He will always praise your jokes and it's even better if you make someone uneasy. How fun!

Yes, you can be responsible when it's needed, and that is how Floyd is also. Though, while you are kind and smart, he is blunt and some would say even cruel.

Floyd doesn't actively bring bugs at you, but if you're in the garden and he sees a bug, he will catch it and show it to you. You're so cute when you scream and take as much distance between him and you as possible. Also, you can have a pretty dirty mouth by what you have called Floyd as for scaring you.

You might be together, but Floyd absolutely LOVES teasing you about your height! Especially since he is one of the tallest students in Night Raven College and he isn't even sorry about it.

Horror movies and games? Yes, please! Floyd usually laughs at zombie movies and he tends to say something unsettling to others during Slasher movies, like how he can relate to the killers, and that scares the shit out of others.

Learning can be fun, especially if you can actually use the things you learn. He is actually also pretty okay with your birds. Math? Hell yeah, Floyd is smart, but you can always help him study. It's a ruse to get you to spend more time with him before exams, but it works.

Floyd isn't one to really celebrate anniversaries or such, but he will use it as a reason to get you a ring. It's nothing huge, but you still love it and he likes it when you show your fondness for him as he shows towards you.

#matchup #twisted wonderland matchup #twst #misshavoc #I AM SO SORRY YOU HAD TO WAIT THIS LONG #I HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR MATCH #floyd leech

[shoutsofmybones]

Hey dude!! Im catholic, born and raised, but I feel like I dont know much in depth stuff about the catholic faith? Like I know the basics, the stuff you know just by being catholic, but oftentimes when people ask me "what do Catholics believe abt [insert religious thing]" I dont rlly know. Do you have any recommendations for like. Catholic content (podcasts or youtube preferred but Im open to anything), that isnt just "catholic 101" but goes more in depth? God bless and have a good day!

OK, I will organize this by type of content. I should say as a disclaimer that personally when it comes to questions of Catholic doctrine I just search through the Catechism for it (like I Google "CCC guardian angels" and I find the Catechism section to consult), so I actually don't regularly consume a ton of Catholic content for the purposes of learning doctrine. But I've got some recommendations I can give you.

Books. You can probably find these in audiobook form if you prefer audio.

The Jesuit Guide to (Almost) Everything by James Martin

Jesus: A Pilgrimage by James Martin

The Universal Christ by Richard Rohr

Loaves and Fishes: The Inspiring Story of the Catholic Worker Movement by Dorothy Day. Actually just anything by Day is good, but I really like this one

Interior Castle by St Teresa of Avila

The Joy of the Gospel by Pope Francis

The Imitation of Christ by Thomas A Kempis

The writings of the Saints in general. They can get kinda dry but they're worth reading

Youtube.

TheHippieCatholic. She makes lefty Catholic content that I like a lot. Here's one of her videos.

The Ten Minute Bible Hour. He's actually a Protestant but he does a lot of ecumenical stuff, including conversations with Catholic theologians that go through Catholic doctrines on specific issues. Here's a good video on violence.

I have mixed feelings about this one, but Ascension Presents is pretty good. Short videos, goes into doctrine without being too in depth and scaring you off, etc. A little conservative for my taste in a lot of their videos, but not overmuch, so I'm still recommending them. Here's their "why be Catholic" video.

Podcasts. Frankly, I don't listen to a lot of podcasts. Here's the Catholic ones I know.

America Magazine (big recommend on them btw) has some podcasts all of which are pretty good, I really like "The Gloria Purvis Podcast" and "Plague" (which inspired Hidden Mercies), but they're all nice. Here's the list.

Vine & Fig (I love Vine & Fig) has a podcast called "Tabard Inn" that doesn't go very in depth on Catholic issues, but is very good if you're interested in queer Catholic spirituality.

The Franciscan Friars of the Renewal have a podcast called "From the Friars" that I've listened to a few times. Goes more in depth than a lot of other Catholic podcasts so I like it.

"Catholic Stuff You Should Know" I've listened to a few times, very mysteriously named episodes but nice to listen to and informative.

I hope these were helpful! Also if anyone has more recs, please add them to this post so anon can find them!

#catholic #christian #sorry for putting a protestant channel on here his catholic videos are just so good

[im-so-stuupid]

lets be friends lol

heyyy, my name is monse but you can call me Mo. i’m an 18 y/o mexican american w ADHD, i think that sums me up ok.

i’ve posted something like this two years in a row so let’s just make it a tradition :)

i’m about to graduate highschool and i’m honestly scared. my first post to try and make friend was about liking one direction, harry styles, and some other stuff i’ve forgotten, last years post was about me liking Minecraft youtubers and all that, but it’s safe to say those are no longer my main hyperfixations. i’m always down to talk about the minecraft community (the good and bad),the toxicity of the internet in general, and to discuss important topics overall, though, my current obsession is now percy jackson again.

To all of the seniors going through tough times right now and are feeling lost,scared, and not ready, i feel you. if you need someone to hear you out just hit me up. really, as dumb as you think you sound or feel, feelings are feelings. dealing with mental illness and other unhealthy habits at this point makes me feel a little bit helpless and scared to move on from high school, but i have to remind myself that i am not alone in this, that other people understand this feeling too. so im here for you, and proud of all of us who have tried our best to make it to graduation.

but anyways,,, let me tell you about me and my relationship with PJO

i loved percy jackson when i was in middle school and it was my whole childhood. i never finished the heroes of olympus series because i think i was scared to have it all come to an end. Now that i’m a senior about to graduate i’ve decided to reread the books and finally finish the series, and i need people to talk to about the books :D i think finishing this series is the closure that i need, but i feel like many people (especially seniors) are going through tough spots right now and if you need someone to talk to and if you are willing to hear me rant about percy jackson once in a while don’t be shy to hit me up! just a “hey” to start a convo and it can lead somewhere

and of course pery jackson isnt the only thing ive been liking recently,if you want to talk music im always open to reccomendations! currently ive been back into tyler the creator but i think he might just be my all-time fav, rex orange county being a close second though, ive also been listening to panic at the disco again lmfao mostly the first two albums tho because they are the best (i don't accept criticism on this), and i guess ive been listeing to some mac miller, will wood, glass animals, harry styles, declan mckenna, and a bit of carseatheadrest loll.

i like minecraft, geoguessr and tbh i love playing fortnite because i suck and its really funny to do dumb shit so im down to game if you want. (i also have stardew and terraria if anyone would like to play with me). if you can teach me or want to learn how to play chess with me that would be sick tooi also quite enjoy crafting, i occasionally like to crochet, make friendship bracelets,make silly little clay things,draw, and paint.

I dont watch many shows or movies but i am really fucking excited for the new season of the umbrella academy to come out and for the new doctor strange movie as well, like SO excited. and ofc the PJO series that is in the works AHHH. my current fave youtubers are the sturniolo triplets and the only podcast i watch/listen to is the chuckle sandwich podcast but i do love emergency intercom as well.

so yeah, hmu if you wanna chat about anything and everything, all of the time ;) (also i forgot to mention that im gay but if you are homophobic please leave)

April 14, 2022

#friends #internet friends #online friends #pjo fandom #PJO #percy jackson #heroes of olympus #the umbrella academy #mcyt #mcytumblr #bo burnhan #crocheting #high shool #high school senior #senioritis #graduating #harry styles #umbrella academy #marvel #book recs pls #music recs please #music recommendation #lets chat #percy jackon and the olympians #percabeth

[sailorshadzter]

i'm big sad the last two days.

i've gotten good at hiding it. idk if thats good or bad.

i cried all day yesterday. all day. everything set me off. everything made me hurt.

its crazy how much people imprint themselves upon you- truly you dont realize it until they're sick or gone entirely. lines from songs, songs in general, movies, hell even the target ad on youtube as you switch to a comfort podcast in hopes to smile instead of cry.

i keep doing my best to be optimistic but its hard. its so so hard. i keep hiding away. i come home and hide upstairs- i drink til i fall asleep, i stay away from the man i love so much. i cant even look at him because i cant help but to think if i love him more, something will happen to him too. im in a constant state of worry, of sorrow. i worry about her, my sister, but my mom, too. i worry about what this will do to her. i worry about the "after" you know, the after of the worst possible outcome. i worry about everything.

im literally so trapped inside of my own head i can barely think straight. a lot of this is just too much for me. i want to feel normal again, but i know thats impossible.

it scares me because i know im supposed to be optimistic- but what happens if i lose my sister to this disease? i keep trying not to think that way, but every thought leads me back to that single one. i watch a disney movie- i think about how we once watched it together. i listen to a specific song- i think about how we saw them in concert. i eat at a restaurant and remember how we ate there too. i dont want to have to remember her, i dont i dont i dont. not now. not when we're so young.

man i just dont know what im supposed to do.

everythhing hurts and everything feels wrong. i dont feel like i am who i am. i feel like an imposter. i feel like the world around me isnt right, isnt real. & i hate myself for that too. i hate feeling so weak and lost and sad.

i keep hoping tomorrow will be better. but so far it hasnt.

#personal #fuck cancer

[imagine-loki]

Hi. I kno that this is a submissions blog but I need help. I can't write anymore but I want to. I usually write Bucky & Loki stuff. I feel like no one is interested because they don't leave likes & comments & it's damamging my confidence but then I just get "when's the next chapter" Why do they do that & why do I care too much. I just dont get it. I see the awesome writers on this page & I feel really bad that I can't keep doing it. What keeps you going? Can you recomend a book or something?

I’m sorry I left this a couple days, I just needed to make sure I could give you actual advice to help you rather than a generic “Believe in yourself” that is true but doesn’t always feel authentic. 

Firstly, yes this is a submissions blog but it’s more than that. We are a community, a page that is there for all its members, contributors and readers, so don’t think you cannot come here with your problems. 

Secondly, with the world as it is right now, especially in countries with terribly strict restrictions (like my home country), your ability to interact with others is being squashed and it’s definitely having huge long term effects on mental health, because of this, reach out to whoever you feel you can. It also means writing isn’t always to the forefront of your mind. I genuinely thought I would become so much better at writing through the pandemic, I was SO WRONG. And that’s okay. It’s okay to not achieve goals when your head isn’t currently in it. 

Thirdly, I get it. I fund myself more than once thinking “why bother”, that people weren’t interested due to lack of comments. I completely understand. 

Finally, “Why do you care too much?” because when we write, draw, sing, etc, we are literally giving a part of ourselves to the world and we genuinely care what they think and a lot of the time and silence is truly the worst reaction. In WWE (bare with me on this), when a wrestler is booed or cheered by the audience, it’s seen as a good thing because it’s getting a reaction. Even if it’s the guy they are trying to push as a good guy and he’s being booed, that’s something you can work with. When a wrestler comes out to indifference and silence, they get scared because that can mean they are going to lose their job. We are the same with our work. 

With regards to books, I don’t read as many books as I should, I really should read more but one thing I love more than anything is Podcasts. I love listening to a wide range of stuff, from Joe Rogan to someone that those outside of Ireland and maybe Britain may never know, Blindboy BoatClub. Sounds odd, it is. He wears a plastic bag over his face, he was in a comedy satire group but he is actually who I want you to look at now IF you have the ability to listen to him. He does amazing podcasts and mostly to do with mental health. He did a degree in it BUT he did not complete it and explains this fully but talks about his anxiety and issues, so you can hear he knows what he is talking about. There are two podcasts of his I want you to try listening to if you can, (these are why I got delayed getting back, I needed to check their names). 

Tinsel Pinochet (this is a must -  Developing Emotional Resilience. I speak about fear, anger, sadness, and hurt. Distinguishing avoidable pain from unavoidable pain)

On Becoming a Person ( The Humanistic psychology of Carl Rogers, and how it helps us develop empathy for others and self-compassion)

Here are two sites he’s on NOTE he swears and he has a promo at the beginning of his podcast for beer so I suggest not listening if these bother you. 

https://play.acast.com/s/blindboy

https://player.fm/series/the-blindboy-podcast

[sadsongsandwaltzes]

Thank you for taking the time to answer that, it was very helpful! I’ll try and listen to more podcasts and YouTube videos on the matter as well as prayer 🙌🏻

One more specific question I had though and probably the biggest thing I’m scared to talk about with friends anyway is lgbtq community. Before I found the lord I had a lot of friends who said they were gay or liked women and one of my girl- friends in particular I still see sometimes makes me feel like she’s flirting or is very touchy... I don’t even know where I fully stand because again, a few ‘Christians’ have said being with another woman is fine and I don’t actually feel I want to anyway but I just don’t know how to talk to her or talk about the subject in general. Sorry for blabbering on btw, I hope this makes sense !

This is a subject that is never fun to talk about. People often take personal offense to it. Mostly because they’ve staked their entire identity into their current sexuality rather than where it should be: in Christ.

It helps to clear your mind on the subject and how to articulate it when you remember there’s a difference between biblical love and worldly love. True love requires us to stand for truth. True love demands sacrifice. True love is not subject to the whims of human emotions. True love cares for the well being of your fellow man over your own. And I’m not just taking within romantic relationships. True, biblical love means that we have to have these uncomfortable conversations and lead others to Truth. We cannot be passive. Understanding what biblical love looks like amongst all humans and also specifically in marriage helps make this discussion easier.

Ultimately, our romantic relationships are a choice. And we should not enter one if it’s not within the boundaries set in the Bible. And those romantic relationships should actually be based on sacrificial love rather than the romantic love (romance is supplemental).

We are not our sexualities. We are followers of Christ. Though we can’t always help things such as who we are attracted to or our intrusive thoughts, we can control our actions and reactions.

People entering romantic relationships based entirely on their own feelings and what makes them happy are ultimately entering those relationships selfishly. Romance certainly is a drug. But as soon as those feelings waver, that’s when these types of relationships fall apart. The person no longer “feels” in love, so they stop serving and doing loving things for their partner because the relationship is no long self serving. They aren’t getting the emotional high anymore, so why continue on? It’s selfish in the truest sense of the word.

We all are born broken and with a sin nature. We all have our struggles. For someone, that may be their sexuality. But just because you “feel” something doesn’t mean it’s okay to act on it. “Feelings” dont automatically validate our actions. Imagine if someone tried to justify beating their partner based on “I felt angry.” We rightfully call those people abusers. And the argument that “anger and love aren’t comparable” doesn’t apply because, as I’ve already stated, the worldly idea of “love” is not true love.

If you stand for Truth, expect backlash. It is bound to happen. But this a subject that is very much going to force the question: do you live for Christ or for yourself? The world doesn’t like being told that they are wrong. None of us do. Our flesh desires sin. We don’t like being told to turn away from that or that we are in the wrong. It offends the flesh. I’m offended at times by the truth. I’m always being called out on my own sins and the initial reaction sometimes is offense. Sometimes I can skip the offended stage and go immediately to the sorrowful stage, but we are prideful creatures. But, as a Christian, I understand that if my thinking doesn’t align with the Bible, then I am the one who is in the wrong. So I submit and trust the Lord and follow his teachings, even if I don’t always understand the “why” right away. I just know that if the Bible says it is so, then it is so. And usually, through submission and continual prayer and conviction, those things will eventually end up making sense. But just because we may not always understand why God has commanded what He has, that doesn’t give us a pass not to follow those commands and live by His word.

When discussing this with others, you need to stand firm in what is true, but you don’t have to come in guns a blazing about hellfire. Neither should you buckle and refuse to call sin a sin. It can be difficult sometimes to find that line where you can be firm but gentle. I’m not sure how to tell you how to find it other than prayer and careful consideration.

Anyone who has told you that homosexual “marriage” is okay is very clearly living for themselves rather than Christ. They have the world, but they don’t have Christ. And Christ is what matters. So you might need to prepare yourself for not only dissent, but maybe even the loss of a friend. Always be compassionate to others, but if others require that you cave on Christ to be friends with them, then the choice is clear... even if it is painful.

I truly do wish you well and will be praying for you. This is a very rough spot to be in, trying to figure things out and stand for what is right without having the clearest understanding. I think we all as Christians have been there. Don’t ever be afraid to reach out for support!

[liluyes]

LILUYE NARVAEZ ( SIVAN ALYRA ROSE ) is a 18 year old SENIOR student at Broadripple Academy. THEY are originally from FLORENCE, AZ but moved to Broadripple 4 YEARS ago. THEY are INTUITIVE and EMPATHETIC but can also be VAGUE and IDEALISTIC. –– penned by sam / 23 / aest / she/her

BASICS

Name: Liluye Narvaez

Nickname: Lu-ye, Lu

Age: Eighteen

Grade: Senior

House: Fenwick

Cabin Room: Senior Cabin Room 5

How long have they been at Broadripple: technically four years but spent their junior year interstate in Florida for Track

Where are they from originally: Florence, Arizona

Extra curricular: Cross Country, Track, and Soccer

Pinterest

lil note: i will probs be sticking entirely to they/them pronouns for liluye because that’s easier for me but sivan uses she and they, therefore liluye’s pronouns are also she and they

TRAITS

Positive Personality Traits: intuitive, empathetic, trusting, loyal, kind-hearted, adaptable, passionate

Negative Personality Traits: vague, idealistic, meek, closed-off, loner, brittle, dishonest

FACTS

when they were young, liluye would never have pictured a place like broadripple being a part of their life. they grew up in the deserts of arizona, living between the outskirts of phoenix and the san carlos apache indian reservation, between two family homes. the thick forests of rural massachusetts felt like an entire world away, something they might never see.

they were always an active child, always moving. either to something or away from. and they thrived in a team, really the only way an otherwise shy child ever made any friends. they tried out all sorts of sports but nothing ever really compared to running. they loved to stretch their long limbs out on different trails and feel the wind through their hair.

when they were nine they pulled their track and field team through multiple meets, and realised what a focus in athletics could do for them. it quickly took over their life, rising early and going to bed late each day to train and study. and they started to feel alone, solitary in that focus. a feeling that is still stuck with them, even though they’re just about twice as old now

they attended a private middle school in phoenix for grade eight and there liluye and their family were encouraged to apply for athletic scholarships to private schools for high school. and so they did. and that’s how broadripple came into the picture. liluye didn’t want to move so far away, not from their home or their family or the very few friends they had. but broadripple offered a full scholarship for all four years, and connections to universities that they could only dream of from claypool az.

so they shipped themselves across the country for school, feeling like a total outsider and completely out of their depth so far from home. during their freshman and sophomore years they tried their hand in just about every extra curricular, trying to find a crowd they could relate to. friends like they saw everyone else making. but they struggled. shyness and unintentional coldness preventing those solid connections from forming

eventually, they stopped trying so hard. refocused their energy on what they knew they were good at and why they were there in the first place. sports, athleticism. those were simple. they could understand those far easier than they would ever understand their classmates.

they have just spent the past year in florida on a sports exchange, only just returning to broadripple when they were sent to the retreat

HEADCANONS

they try to live very very minimally. part of the reason for that is they are so far from home. carting things back and forth quickly becomes a hassle if they have too much. they dont want to be too attached to anything material at broadripple or arizona, so they keep their belongings to an absolute minimum that way the things they are attached to can always travel with them. the only thing they keep that is not especially minimal is a small decorative box of keepsakes.

back in florence they have a pair of pet rats, both females and affectionately named alex and piper (after alex vause and piper chapman from orange is the new black ....... liluye is garbage u heard it here first) – they share them with their younger brother which very much eases the pain of leaving them behind for most of the year. when they facetime, a huge portion of it is their brother giving updates on their rats.

they’re an avid podcast listener, but they have an absolutely awful habit of pressing play and then not listening to a single word. more often than they would like to admit they just like the sound, using it as background noise. they’d really like to focus more on it, and actually listen to every word, but it’s hard to turn off

they struggle to make and keep friends, they always have. over time a soft childhood shyness became unintentionally harder, more cold. it’s defensive, thinking if they are soft but also such a loner, people will think something is wrong with them. and while liluye can’t say for certain whether or not something is wrong with them, they’d rather people think they’re alone because they choose it. just below the surface they are warm, kind, friendly, and whenever given the opportunity those traits show themselves

QUESTIONS ABOUT THE RETREAT

What do they think about The Retreat? the place itself? liluye thinks its super fucking weird. doesn’t like the energy of it one bit. they dont mind the forest, before retreat they ran through lorehill trying to improve their trail running instinct and sense of direction. but there’s something different about the retreat, they feel as though they’re being watched there in a way they cant quite explain.

Do they have any previous experience with camping or other outdoors? yes but in arizona, camping and being outdoors in general in massachusetts is incredibly different. but that being said they dont really think the retreat is “camping”. there’s cabins, tables, a functioning toilet, a bus to and from campus? yeah, it’s not really camping and it’s really not that bad apart from the creepy vibe.

What does their cabin bunk look like? How will they decorate their space? as mentioned in headcanons, they are very minimalist or at least try to be. and their space in the cabin reflects that. they have an orange and white crocheted blanket over their bed. a small poster of the claypool rock tunnel (a4 size) and an old sun tarot card stuck to the wall over their bed. besides those things, their stuff is kept neatly in their suitcase and backpack and as much out of the way as it can be in the cramped space.

Do they believe in the supernatural? To what degree? yes, they do believe but it’s not something they talk about a lot. in fact, they probably actively avoid talking about supernatural things. they don’t like to invite any sort of negativity into their life and they fear disrespecting the spirits by discussing them. they’d rather a quiet and respectful relationship with the things they don’t quite understand.

Are they easily spooked? not really. at least not in a way that is obvious to others. a quickened heart rate, becoming more aware of their surroundings, those sort of things would happen if they were scared but overall, no. it takes a lot to genuinely frighten them.

AND FINALLY,

A very dumb but (hopefully) fun quiz made by your admins, please share what result you got

liluye got “you will sacrifice yourself for someone else” which probably dumbass

#retreat:intro #( about. )

[agoddammharpoon]

So I've seen quite a few things about similarities between The Magnus Archives and various fears and Wolf 359. And it got me thinking that Doug eiffel could definately have competed the Watchers Crown and started the apocalypse. If anyone know what it's like to be manipulated, abused and basicaly dicked around by multiple fear related entities, surely it's good old Dougy Boy! So below I've tried to pull together where he actually was touched by all the fears! Let me know if I've missed anything...

Stranger

An obvious one. I've already seen posts about how the cloning and replacing of individuals by the Dear Listeners is textbook Stranger. And in terms of Doug's fear, seeing a literal clone of himself that spoke with his voice is enough. Evidence by him hiding under a table.

Web

Less obvious. I had to look at the wiki page for this entity as its one of the ones that deals with a variety of more abstract fears. I did find- 'Deals with fears of being controlled'- magnus wiki. And this makes it really clear as Doug is constantly dealing with be under others control, by Goddard, by the decima virus in his system, by his own addiction. Ultimately the most obvious is the control bolt at the end which literally makes him a slave but there's clear evidence of his fear and his desire for free will from the very beginning.

The End

I mean. Mayday. Just like that whole episode shows his fear of the end. We will return to Mayday. That episode is basically the Watchers Crown all at once.

The corruption

Again difficult because Space is relatively clean and sterile? However there is an obvious exception- extreme danger bug! If having some hairy space insect try to bury itself into your chest is evidence of a corruption, i dont know what is.

The Vast

Obvious again. Our boy sure does love yeeting himself into space

The Desolation

Just like the day to day fear thats a side effect of having Daniel Jacobi in your life surely...

The Eye

Just like Magnus, we can get all meta here. His logs being constantly reviewed by Cutter as well as the Dear Listeners and indeed us. We are the eye and the eye is us.

Also he's scared people will know where his cigarettes are.

The Flesh

As with the Corruption, this is a bit tricky as theres no gore in Wolf 359 really. However, he sure was a bit freaked out by Pryce's eye?

Maybe a stretch for this one. Anyone have any other ideas?

The Spiral

So originally i was thinking that being on the Hephastus in general can cause this fear with its corridors that change and its rooms that shouldn't be there? However I then started thinking deaper than this and so much of Wolf 359 revolves around confusion of identity and i suppose this completely fits with the 'deceiving the mind and senses' elements of the Spiral. I think particularly Brave New World here. Doug literally lost in a room made up his memories and losing them slowly...

The Lonely

Again we're back at Mayday. If surviving for months in space by yourself, locking yourself in cryochambers just to have something to do, doesn't make you an avatar of the Lonely, what will my friends. Also just. Doug. Poor Doug. This is the most extreme version but let's face it, Doug is such a candidate for the Lonely and that hurts my heart.

The Slaughter

Could be so many parts but the bit that stood out to me in terms of 'unpredictable, unmotivated violence' is the end of 'Controlled Demolition'. Lets take a moment to pour one out for our good friend the Plant Monster here.

The Dark

Space. Is. Really. Dark.

I mean i joke but that may well have been enough?

The Buried

This is one of the most difficult because Space lends itself so much to the Vast which is the opposite of the Buried... However he did nearly drown in a spacesuit that one time and that must have been claustrophobic!

The Hunt

I think we need to go back to Brave New World here and Pryce 'hunting' through his memories, there was a definite predator and prey thing going on there.

I think thats all of them but if i missed one let me know.

Also, this was fun! Give me more podcast characters and I'll see if anyone else would have been a candidate for the Watchers Crown.

#i love that i've had the time to waste on this today #thank god for christmas #but seriously #hit me up with any other character's #or any other suggestions for Dougy boy #doug eiffel #wolf 359 #the magnus archives #tma #the Watchers crown #fear entities #i live for crossovers

[neonwizardheehee]

personal rant & brain dump bc I’m listening to bigbang and feel emo:

so i have a few topics that are circling my mind thus this will get messy (as usual hahaha)

- music as I said I’m listening to bb and the way I wanna cry??? mainly bc i miss my sis talking about them and being all happy and proud.. and just her in general v.v I feel like i overdid her with kpop and that doesn’t feel good. i was supposed to be the baby but i got too invested and now i am so damn invested i scare her :((( it makes me so sad :( but idk how to stop.(current mood & playing: let’s not fall in love) 

 - romance the new girls i met here are so different from the friends i have bc they are extroverts. i never had extroverts as friends before so i feel blessed now. we only met recently but they already were so open to me about things no one ever told me. like 3/4 girls i met talked to me about their first time and BOI i was so glad that we casually talked about it bc my other friends wouldn’t do that in a million years bc they are too shy. it really felt good. also no one judged me which was very reassuring. albeit me feeling a bit dumb bc i couldn’t really add to the convo but apparently I get better at listening ig? also that made me think that sex and dating shouldn’t be such an “important” topic as it is with my friends before. one friend sees it as an achievement to have a s/o but doesn’t talk about it or either brags (kskssk giiirl that’s so funny yet annoying XD yes u can be proud of your boi and brag bc i’m here for that bc i’m just so happy for you but ... not at random moments XDD). this made me realize how ppl refer to their s/o when talking to others. bc my friends who are very chill with their relationship always say their name while said friend (and ofc some others where having a relationship is important) always say “my bf/gf” or “ex” when that specific info is not relevant to the story they are telling XD

anyways it also made me realize how BAD i am with talking about my own feelings and wishes. since talking about my worries feels like complaining and i am good at that - but it feels random and uninteresting for anyone to hear i think to myself (it prob isnt). i feel so smol when asked about that topic and all i wanna answer is “???”. even if there is no pressure. idk why I’m like this and it makes me feel sorry for the people around me :( I’m so confused and idk what the question is. i can do better with writing but idk why but i wanna find out one day hahah. maybe i should just ask my new friends for advice since they are not judging me and i trust them and want to learn to be better with that. altho there’s this thought that I’m uncapable of love which frightens me a lot. I know i’m okay without it and i don’t mind but i feel so sorry for the people who like me? it also might be natural and I’m just stressing myself over nothing so idk what to ask and do -since you can’t force love right? i mean i don’t really believe in love at first sight i guess but rather spending time with that person and liking them a lot. so id why I’m pressuring myself so much with this :( maybe i am just too scared? or maybe i am anticipating too much? it all could be possible bc for everyone love is different and every relationship is different. so it’s mostly me feeling sorry for not giving back as much as i should and could :( - that’s also the reason why I’m so pro polyamorus relationships bc I know I’m not enough and idk how and if i want to fix that bc idk the rules bc there are none hahhaha - but also that makes me feel good bc i know i’m not responsible for someone’s happiness. i am too egoistical and these thoughts work as a self-protecting mechanism I KNOW that’s why i do this. so i’m not stressing myself even more. i just feel so unfairly precious when someone genuinely praises me when we’re just two ppl and no one else :( might be bc i don’t understand that feeling yet. i def want to know that but also i’m scared that it’d take me down a road where i loose myself (for some foolish reason idk why). so in the end ig I keep trying and get used to that (i already made loads of progress this year so ig i shouldn’t feel like I’m being too slow)

- studying okay so next topic is also just me feeling like i do too few. this week went quite okay and i managed to study on out study server everyday (ofc i had my bad days but i still at least smth). well yesterday i hastily did some vocab and then teh whole day i spend with friends & kpop... like LITERALLY until the night. a friend of mine was proud of me for taking a break (me too yesterday) but today i don’t feel good about that :( i missed so much. i’m scared it’ll kick me out of my study routine (since it was so hard to get my ass down to study itself!). i really want to be the person who’s studying every day and feel good about that. so since i have another thing planned today i don’t think i’ll get much done today as well :(((( i just wanna be a wise guy who knows a lot T.T i already made progress i know but... i want more.. i really wanna do well here and not be stuck behind like i was for the past 6 years :( i wanna have ambition again and not just pass... i kind of hope i can manage to study at nights on days like this but also i need my sleep so i stil have to find a solution for that. bc even tho i regret not studying as much i don’t regret hanging out with people. that’s smth i missed out in my first semester and so important in times like this were I’m stuck on my own. 

- religion so i have one christian friend here and yesterday we talked about church services and stuff like that and it was cool learning how it’s with her bc she goes to a very modern church (instead of me going to a traditional one 4 times a year). Suddenly i got sad tho and felt like crying :( even tho she was just stating her opinion i felt attacked and wanted to cry. after some thinking i think it’s just the way we are used to talking about religion bc we both grew up in an area where religion is looked down onto. for me .. i turned to myself and made up my own thoughts and beliefs bc i am too scared to talk and ask someone about it bc of all the accusations around me. religion was not smth to be discussed and only smth for yourself and maybe your family for me. the girl had to fight her way through all the “churches are old and fucked up and scary” things and since she goes to a modern one has good reasoning against them - that’s perfectly understandable and I’m so proud of her for speaking up like that. but like... it hit me on thw wrong side bc i am used to these old traditions and kind of like them even :( so it felt like she was insulting me. even tho she wasn’t.  i just dont know how to talk about religion and how to practice reading the bible or praying and hearing her talk about how she does all these things.. makes me feel invalid :( it’s like the only thing that i have is that i was raised a christian. but y’know for me it was okay since i learned in school not to practice or show my religion.. so idk how to do it... and i feel baby and sad if i have to ask her for some reason. i tried to look up this on the internet but ofc everyone is even more crazily involved there and it scares me SO much. so i unfollowed everyone hahah. i also have this one podcast but i still feel bad bc i’m not able to really read the bible on my own ig :( these days I’m just blaming it on the translation that i have but deep down i know it’s me who’s not able to ask questions at the text. maybe i should try to talk to someone... my sis who’s also in the same situation as me... or said girl to take me along and feel like a complete newbie and a little bit like an outcast bc religion for me is so different than to her.

- christmas i really enjoy the christmas spirit but i also already wanna cry if i think about gifts. i hate that i have so many people i love and will prob get smth from them so i have to make smth in return. i am overwhelmed and scared already. i didn’t even make a list yet T.T feels like i should block time to figure out gifts in my schedule bc I’m just putting it off more and more :( and also i already feel sorry for everyone bc they will get shitty gifts bc I’m so bad at this :(

#now i feel drained and want to cry in your arms just bc #what am i so gloomy for today? #anyways sry if you read this #i truly am sorry #NOT @ SPOTIFY FOR PLAYING BABY DON'T CRY #not okay i just