#i feel exactly like how he looks here

[buttercup-barf]

hiii! i dont know if we can send multiple requests, but oh my god i love your art, so i was wondering if you could draw Gary? for lower body just some kakhi pants and some red chucks like the ones in the image!

I think I somehow burnt myself out... This guy is so hashtag relatable.

#pizza tower #other's oc #i feel exactly like how he looks here #i'm so tired.. where am i.... who am i........

[luck-of-the-drawings]

OH ARTHUR BENNETT.. such a gorgeous and intriguing character. terribly burdened by a GRUESOME set of crimes, his light suffocated by a HEAVY century of GUILT. so tragic, so dark and broody, and yet PAINFULLY awkward in any social setting ever

#jrwi fanart #cw blood #jrwi show #jrwi suckening #arthur bennett #OUHH THIS ONE WAS SITTING IN MY WIPS FOR SO LOOOONGwhen i took it out there was mould on it :sob: #BUT i think i was able to fix it up okay #i keep seeing SO MANY MISTAKES RRAAAHHH BUT YOU DONT SEE THEM RIGHT?? THATS ONLY ME. RIGHT?? EXACTLY. #THE KEY IS TO SAY. AND REPEAT AFTER ME. 'FUUUCK IT WE BALL #so anyway. arthur bennett huh? grizzly says that arthur is reaal fuckin difficult to play. and i SUPER get that. i mean LOOK AT HIM.. #grizz often needs a minute to think abt what hes gonna say in a way that matches w that Stoic Personality. which is FAIR but also that #ends up making way for awkward confrontations like: the lady in the parky lot. he took too long to answer and scared her away.& I LOVE THAT #arthur is tragic and sad and cool and stoic but hes ALSO awkward and silly and kinda dumb and short sighted. HE HAS COMPLEXITIES #I LOVE WHEN TTRPG CHARACTERS HAVE A GOOD SET OF SHORTCOMINGS. ESPECIALLY WHEN U FIND THEM ONLY AS U PLAY THEM. #I COULd go on and on saying the same things w different words abt arthurs intriguing and entertaining character but i shall spare u. for no #ILL ALSO MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVE HIS FLAVOR THO.. I LOVE TALL HOT BOY WHOS ONE W THE DARKNESS.. I REMEMBER WHEN HE FIRST MENTIONED THE #BADLUCK. N I WAS LIKE OOOHH THATS WHY HIS DESIGN IS SO COOL N CHAOTIC N ASYMMETRICAL. HES UNLUCKY!!! i love love love his design so much... #GRaaauruguguraguhhghghgh what else what else is there for me to spew on abt...i think im reachin a limit here..OH MAGNUS. i hope that #we get to know more abt how magnus and arthur met.. like How they became besties... ouuhh... I ALSO WANNA KNOW MORE ABT MARY DAVIS. LIKEHOW #he also apparently spent alotta time in a zone dominated by edward twilight? all he remembers is constant partying? I WANNA KNOW MORE.. #i think i got room 4 one more ramble SO. THE ART PIECE.as i said its gone a lil stale BUT. im still very proud o the bits where hes allScar #I WANNA SEE HIM GET SCARYMORE. I like the idea of shadows solidifying to make him strange and eerie.like TEETH n CLAWS n SPINES n YESS #also the SILVER EYES.no1 does silver eyes like the show Claymore. they make em look so striking and eerie...i also like to think that #human arthur had deep beautiful brown eyes.just in my beaitufl heart.i mean look at him..i wanna cook him n eat him.ANYWAY #i think thats all my ramblin for this piece. now i gotta go cancel a single day i had ata hotel bc my work schedule change last minute FUCK #feel free to ramble in my tags aswell tho i read all of them and i chew on thenm and i love them so sos os mcuh

[chirpsythismorning]

S5 opener REAL

#byler #will byers #stranger things #every season besides s4-5 opens with non main characters #for el we got a flashback of the lab followed by her perspective in the scene directly after #and I think for Will we will see something similar #with us getting the flashback of him in castle byers in the UD #followed by him in the present in the scene after #but what exactly would warrant that memory being brought up in association with Will in the present? #mayhaps his connection to the mindflayer and the UD run deeper than we realize… #it’s likely not something he could just rid himself of in s2 and now he’s all good #he literally still feels a connection to everything he is feeling #that means he is still technically at risk of being the spy in some capacity #the massacre at Hawkins lab also was a guiding force for El discovering the ‘truth’ in s4 #so it’s likely for Will this instance will operate in a way that re-contextualizes the events in the past up to now #like that time Will suggested they go to the hospital in s3 only for the flayed to be waiting for them #or how flayed Billy knew they were at the cabin… #all while Will was looking cryptic as hell in that scene watching over el #or the fact that he picked Billy in the first place the season after he focused on Will… #you know.. williams #I think the easiest way to introduce the castle Byers flashback is a dream honestly #specifically a dream within a dream #seeing that recent leak and Will looking like either he has a black or hasn’t slept in days #is giving very much ‘I am afraid to sleep bc I’m scared of what will happen’ #I think dude is not exactly possessed in the sense that we already saw in s2 with like the particicles #but he’s still vulnerable #the door is still ajar… #no but fr this idea of opening a door in your mind was so blatant in st2 AND s3b of teen wolf #I think a big part of it will be guilting Will over the fact that Will has helped him before without Will telling the others #hence his weird vibe in s3… like he’s already successfully fucked with Will post s2 potentially with us being none the wiser aka here we go

[thecrowsart]

👁️🦎🎯

(crops under cut)

#natsume yuujinchou #matoba seiji #natori shuuichi #horrible exorcists #sorry i couldnt think of a caption i literally sat here for like 2 minutes lol #usually i use a quote from the scene or a lyric from a song but in this scene they're just Looking #anyway FUCK architecture #really though this is csp's perspective ruler's fault. i shoulda just done this by hand #but i made it work. since it wasnt super super complicated lol #ummm i feel like natori looks like a baby ceo but that is what he was wearing at least in the anime version of this scene #and midorikawa's kind of vague about clothes so i made it easy on myself #but why are you rolling up to the exorcist meeting in a navy blazer and tan chinos? #his uniform color is tan so ig the pants could be from that but the blazer...... #tryna represent the natori clan in front of the other exorcists ig idk #meanwhile matobas just in his gakuran lol #hes not the clan head yet so he can just be there as a kid #he even gets told off by takuma and called seiji-kun.....could you imagine like. #it's weird for him to not be matoba #anyway. um i completely kind of fudged the architecture because its hard to tell where exactly in the building this scene is and #i had a specific composition in mind #i only realized i messed up how the windows work like 3/4 of the way into lineart soooo #but thats the kind of thing only i would notice probably #btw i was originally drawing a different scene of them but i was faced with the reality of foliage. #and i remembered this romeo and juliet ass scene existed so #i chose architecture LOL #okay last thing. i feel like natoris haircut is too polished and nice but fr wtf is his canon hair #im doing my best LOL.........but boy #OKAY im done

[malewifemanhunter]

i have never seen a more puppy-coded, slutty man in my fucking life.

#that pout makes him look like such a spoiled princess #i wish i could explain exactly how this screencap feels to me bc it's insane how much of a bitchy vibe he gives off here #iasip #mac mcdonald

[skitskatdacat63]

Fernando Alonso × Unconventional Drinking Implements

#if i had a nickel for every time nano drank out of a trophy id have two nickels. that's not a lot but its weird it happened twice #dont ask me if theres more i didnt have the mental capacity to look up all his podium pics...theres 20 years worth #but if you do have more somehow miraculousy do of course hit me up #this is one of these things i think that youd have to experience by watching a lot of races bcs finding it by keywords is impossible imo #though i did look up various trophies and now i want to make a tier list of trophies by drinkablity 😭 #but yeah some people in the tags of the pics i posted were like 'he did exactly what i wanted to do![drink from the big cup basically]' #so this is like: hey! not the first time hes done it 🤭 #but like if these are the only two times hes done it thats hilarious #bcs its been 18 yrs so was he suddenly like 'oh my god wait i just remembered what i can do with this' #but like the 2005 is the wcc win so it makes sense why he did smth so over the top #but this one i really really feel like he let the impulsive thoughts win and was just 'this looks like a giant cup....' #not pictured: flavio also drinking from the trophy. he was so indulgent of his boy 🥹 #also i wonder if theres footage of him pouring in the champagne in 2023 cause i didnt even know he drank from it until i was looking at pic #cause thats my fav thing about the 2005 one is watching him trying to aim and pour it from way too high hahaha #oh also there is the brazil 2005 gp as well but he doesnt directly drink from it so i dont think it fits well here #but at the same time he really is looking at trophies like 'hmmm how well would this work as a cup' #f1 #formula 1 #fernando alonso #2023 dutch gp #2005 chinese gp #fa14 #we do a little bit of f1 #formula one

[alsojnpie]

hey. um. i love him

#O_O i really love him #it's getting warmer every day and i can't draw him in a sweater for much longer #by the way. is this site going to. yknow. die #sigh........i kept telling myself I'd get better at it one day #kind of like the way i tell myself i can get together courage to speak up but i never do #using another website just sounds so depressing #im not good at social media. im tired of pretending like i can get good at it #but you can't even pretend like you can jump into a conversation if no one is having a conversation #i wanted to be part of a community here but i never could figure out what belonging looked like or how i could do it #and maybe it's my fundamental misunderstanding of that that prevents it but how can i understand it without experience #I'm so jealous of everyone who looks like they achieved what i couldn't even put my finger on. but since i didn't even understand it #i can't even be sure what exactly im jealous of #the other day i walked past a trio of friends and they had their arms around each other and were laughing as they walked #and i felt really strongly that even though I've always wanted a friend like that I'm actually fundamentally incompatible with that. #there's several reasons #but it made me feel really sad. but it made me feel a little better too. i guess it's really not my fault. maybe. i don't really know #in that moment it felt very much like something that was not my fault. and it was nice and sad at the same time #idk what's going to happen here. but one thing i know for sure is that i can have a happy tomorrow. no matter what #no matter what i have to give up on. i can find joy in other things. even in myself #and if there's one idea that he is about. it's that one

[l0ganberry]

I have no idea where all of you came from but here's the colored version of my drawing of Husk.

#I got art blocked so I just decided to color for the time being until my brain gets pumped up again to draw. #here's the thing #I feel like drawing but I'm a bit stuck on what or how exactly #so I'm a bit art blocked I guess. #hope this can make it up for now I guess. #God I love husk #i don't care that he looks like the live action cat in the hat #i really don't care #that will never change on how I see him #and I hope he does the best romantical kiss to Angel too #when the time for both of them is right of course #it needs to be perfect!! #anyways #rambles #artists on tumblr #traditional art #hazbin hotel husk #Husk #hazbin husk #hazbin hotel #hazbin art

[carefulfears]

what do you think mulder thinks of diana fowley after biogenesis through amor fati? i don't think we really see anything on screen/in text (though i think it says a lot that he didn't have much of a reaction when scully came to his apartment & instead focuses on scully & their relationship lol)

yeah there’s basically NOTHING in the text but tbh i think finding out for certain that she was working with CSM really kindaaaa snapped him out of some things…mulder doesn’t give a fuck what people do to him, obviously, but it’s a different thing entirely to find out that your ex is involved in something like that. like there are MILES from “my partner makes me feel like shit and is maybe pretty abusive” and “my partner is like 3rd on the call list of a eugenics group that treats women like test subjects”

like, scully was right, diana was monitoring MUFON women and collecting data on them. she was heading up the tests on cassandra. she probably knew the truth about samantha the whole time. just nasty nasty shit.

she’s the villain in the amor fati dream: the dismissive symbol of abandonment that offers another path.

one of the most interesting scenes of diana’s character to me, is in the sixth extinction, when she comes to see mulder in the hospital. and she knows what the effects of the artifact are, that he can hear what she’s thinking. that, therefore, he knows who she works for and what she’s doing. (imagine your ex-husband/wannabe boyfriend/obsession finds out you’re lying to him because he can read your mind….shit is crazy!)

and she tells him that she knows he knows. but that he also knows that she loves him.

and she does love him. there’s no reason to lie about that then, she knows he would be able to tell.

scully knows it without hearing it, that’s how she gets diana to save mulder’s life, ultimately. she comes to her and begs. tells her to please just think of him, who he is, who he was when she met him, who he is now. in the end, because of scully weaponizing how diana feels, diana can’t go through with it. she gives her life to help him.

diana seems to be one of those influences on mulder that’s only really all that significant when she’s close by. it’s like how all the tension in the beginning builds up to him getting in her car when she tells him to, leaving scully, when diana is there instructing him.

i think being able to know who she truly was and her true intentions and allegiances, prior to her death, really goes a long way in the way he responds to losing her.

don’t get me wrong, i think he’s upset. you can kind of see the shock cross his face when scully tells him. but he stays focused on his goal, which is to express to scully how important she is to him, in the wake of how discarded diana always made her feel.

mulder loved diana and grieves that she was killed, he doesn’t have it in him not to, but mostly he…wanted something from her, right? he wanted that approval and “affection” and to please her. he wanted her to believe him. the first thing that she says to disarm him (in the end) when she can tell he’s uneasy, is, “hey. i’m on your side.”

learning who she really is, it’s easier not to crave her approval so badly.

(this is the crux of amor fati’s “last temptation.” it’s diana saying: you’re childish. you are going to fail. your path is not your own. “you have to let go, fox.” and it’s scully countering: we need you. this is who you are.)

(it’s why he responds in the end by telling scully that it’s her that’s the voice of truth.)

and then in death, diana’s not…there for him to want anything from!! so it’s like, again, yeah he obviously feels the loss, this was someone who meant a lot to him for over a decade. but also it’s likeeeeee freeing in a way? it makes things simpler in a way? (he’s able to communicate all of that to scully instantly after hearing diana is gone, after over a year of the tension hanging around it)

if you asked him about diana now, or even a year later, i think he’d be like…damn that’s crazy! 😭😭 mulder doesn’t have an awful lot of object permanence you guys sjdjsjfj

when scully comes to tell mulder that diana was killed, and he says to her, “you were my friend, and you told me the truth,” the language matters so much. that’s what scully called diana, “i know she was your friend,” and he turns it back onto her. you were my friend. you told me the truth.

in my opinion, it’s not that he doesn’t love and grieve diana, but that there’s a freedom in knowing the truth. knowing who someone is, and their intentions. knowing who has your best interest at heart. knowing where you stand in the world, what you want to do.

that’s really what allows for the openness and lightness of s7, in the wake of diana’s absence. mulder’s always seeking, always learning.

#in a lot of ways diana knows mulder sooo well #like her mannerisms and every little word and phrase are so carefully chosen #like that moment in ‘the end’ when she says she’s on his side and takes his hand #her VERY first line on the show is telling a room full of people that she thinks mulder is right. that she believes him. #something she continues to enforce when she needs to #i was just looking at ‘the beginning’ and the way that when he kinda doesn’t trust her after she took over the x-files #and they find her outside #she says ‘fox. i’m going to get out of the car. i’m alone. alright?’ #like she communicates with him in a way where like….if she had good intentions it would be exactly how to help/calm him #but because she DOESNT it’s EXACTLY how to have him eating out of the palm of her hand #very interesting character very vile woman #anyway idk i think there’s something very ‘good for him!’ esque about how quickly he moves on from her 💀 #i think he’s able to for all the reasons i cited here about knowing what she’s doing and who she is #but mulder is sooooo easily wrapped up in trying to please someone or trying to help someone and getting in a shit situation #and that controls so much of their lives for so long #and i was trying to think about it and i feel like diana’s death kinda is the last time that he’s so trapped in that! #he still does it on a smaller extent ofc but it’s less about the person more the situation after diana if i recall #asks #amor fati #diana

[taikanyohou]

there's an alternate reality where this vegas:

and this pete:

most definitely fuck.

#i have a scenario in my head where the bodyguard disperse to find porsche and as vegas is heading out back to main foyer area #he bumps into pete and pete just looks at him with disgust and knows vegas is Upto Some Shit and porsche disappearing is bc of him #and vegas who's already Mad does not need pete to be looking at him like that so he spits out a 'what the fuck are you staring at?' #and pete just cuts to the chase and asks vegas 'where the fuck is he i know you're upto some shit.' and vegas just smirks and says 'who?' #whilst he steps closer to him until he's trapped pete up against a wall and leans into his ear and says 'who pete?' #and pete spits back in vegas' face how 'i know you've got your eyes on him. don't think i haven't been watching your every move.' #and at first it feels like a bucket of ice water has been thrown on vegas but then he composes himself and says #'why? are you jealous?' at which pete just scoffs. and then vegas tries again and says 'or do you like what you see? the thrill of it? #eyeing me just to see what i do next?' #and pete doesnt respond. just bites the inside of his cheek. bc there is a thrill to it #but he is not gonna give vegas the satisfaction. and yet all vegas has to do is look at pete as he clenches his jaw and he gets his answer #and then vegas just rakes his eyes all over pete's body and says 'you've never looked so good'. #and pete isnt gonna get distracted by the fact that vegas of all people is telling him this. so he asks again 'where is he?' #and vegas just tuts and steps even closer and presses their bodies together and says 'fuck him. i'm talking about us. #stop being so fucking good all the time pete. doesnt it get tiring?' #and pete's trying to stay focused on the task at hand here and he knows exactly what vegas is doing as vegas carries on saying #'don't you wanna be bad sometimes pete? what if i let you be that with me? no one has to know.' #and the invitation sounds so tempting. the prospect of it. that he should be with kinn doing his job but instead he's fucking his cousin #and just being the centre of attention for once. being vegas' centre of attention .... it makes pete's toes curl. #and vegas glances down at pete's mouth that's fallen slightly open. and its so pretty. so pretty that he has to touch it. and as he does #pete opens his mouth wider and vegas runs his thumb along pete's entire bottom lip. and he can feel pete breathing hard. #'you want this.' vegas says. 'look how you open up your mouth for me so pretty to have more.' #and now vegas is calling him pretty too and pete's resolve is breaking brick by brick until he moans when vegas wraps his hand around his #throat and vegas says 'i wanna taint you so bad that you'd have to wear this to cover the bruises on your neck. and the next time i see you #i'd do it all over again.' and pete asks in a barely there voice 'next time?' and vegas smirks and leans into pete's ear and says #'if its what you want. because i do. i wanna see you be bad for me. just for me. i want you to come to me only. for me only.' #and then vegas bites down on the skin there making pete clutch onto vegas' blazer and as divine as vegas looks pete wants to rip it off. #and just as he's about to do something about it vegas steps back leaving pete's arm mid air. and pete hates that. and vegas sees it all #over his face and says 'what do you say pete? you either leave with me right now or you can go back and be the good little boy they think #you are.' and vegas holds out his hand. and no one's ever treated pete like this before. so he takes it. and lets vegas take him.

[polaroid-petals]

Sometimes my thoughts drift into how lonesome and terribly bored Omori must've felt in those four years waiting in a blank room, my heart starts hurting, and I gotta back out again

#like one of the main reasons he became my second fav character is exactly the inherent tragedy of his character #and what he might feel once he is abandoned #at the end of the day his job is to protect sunny and his whole life revolves around him and yet he is so rarely there with him #and then he ends up rejected #and even though their relation ends with a hug i can't stop thinking about what omori must have felt during and after his defeat #and how the rejection of his life purpose AND his beloved dreamer must have hurt #come here babyboy i'll give you a hug and make sunny realise you're a part of him he can't just discard #polaroid posts #i can and will humanise omori #people who say he's just a figment of the imagination that can't feel have never had ocs who live their own lives in their head #yes i did see art of omori lying on his back in whitespace looking bored and got emotional how did you guess

[the-lark-ascending69]

> be a robin buckley fan

> be lesbian

> project on robin

> look up "internalized homophobia robin buckley" on tumblr because it's cathartic

> 3/4 of the posts are about st3ddie or just about steve

#saw one in which steve was like ''no robin you don't understand! i have never been loved! i don't know how that feels like!'' #i have several grips about that interpretation #going from the fact that's not true (dustin is clearly a big steve fan + robin herself cares about him deeply) #to the fact he probably wouldn't be introspective enough to voice his emotions this concisely not to mention he'd probably wouldn't take #a moment to realize he's never felt loved if that were the case. i mean. he could think that. when he's like 35 and more in touch with his #inner world. 19yo steve can't even get the hint that hitting on a girl who's already clearly taken (nancy) is wrong so like i don't expect #him to be that smart #but i can live with people having takes i don't agree with. my opinion doesn't have to be everyone else's opinion if you see steve that way #it fine #what bothered me was the fact he was saying this to a lesbian living in the 80s lmao #who tells him that 1) her whole life has been an error 2) she doesn't think he'd want to be close to her if he truly knew her and 3) #3) is paralyzed by fear of social suicide if she dares believe for even a second that the girl she likes may like her too #like i dont need people to do deep dives into robin lore and quote from memory lines from Surviving Hawkins abt robin feeling like she's #rotten inside. not supposed to have friends. feeling like something is wrong with her and that pushes people away etc etc #the fact that she's a lesbian should tell you enough abt who has the biggest chances of being loved 😭 #also bothered me that it showed up when looking up posts abt internalized homophobia because?? where's the internalized homophobia therw #unless it's gay steve feeling bad abt it in an AU (as if canon robin didn't go through it) #like look im not bothered to find steve-centric content in the robin tag cos people are gonna tag her in posts mentioning her. #she's his friend. #but there are barely any posts at all about robin's internalized homophobia. like i saw 2 or 3. compared to all the steve or steddie ones #where's the love for my babygirl 😭😭 #anti steddie #not really but y'know i don't wanna bother anyone #edit: the bit about there being like 3 posts on robin w internalized homophobia isn't exactly true. there are a few. but they still feel #drowned in st3ddie posts #like something isn't right here

[laniemae]

why am I getting so upset around the idea of favourite characters. Like Amane is my favorite character but recently I’ve been thinking about John a lot and his story and I don’t know why it feels like I’ve betrayed Amane sometimes I think is she really my favorite character? Like I know she definitely is but I don’t know what makes a favourite character and it feels especially weird having two comfort characters and a favourite out of them like picking between two children and sometimes it feels so weird when I think about another character more at times and I just feel really bad about myself

#Like I get really worried a lot by how mikoto is my most tagged character by a lot #I don’t even know how it got there I don’t even really remember talking about him so much #Maybe it’s because he’s everywhere in the fandom? Or he gets bought up a lot in context of John? #But I really feel like I’m betraying amane and then I just feel really really bad about myself #Maybe it’s because I don’t exactly see Amane get talked about enough in the fandom here apart from a few people #I can more easily talk about John because he’s discussed more from what I’ve seen #But I really haven’t seen many theories or psychological analysis on amane lately and maybe that’s what I need #I wanna talk to people about this #Like currently I’m trying to do some research into fawn response in order to understand mikoto better #And misanthropy for john #But I haven’t exactly seen that same sort of discussion for amane where I know what to look for

[puppyeared]

uhh. uhhhhh

#realistically i knw that if i went thru with making animatics for all of these songs I think my hand would fall off BUT. i have brainrot #half of these songs are either here bc of the vibe or because i listened to the lyrics and read analyses and put 2 much effort than i had t #ALSO LISTEN. LISTEN BODYBAG IS EXACTLY EVERYTHING I IMAGINE WHENEVER I THINK OF WUKONG AND MACAQUES RELATIONSHIP OK #two birds and baby hotline is also kind of self explanatory. although most of the jack stauber songs are mostly for vibe #bitter water is a very specific flavor of pining / unhealthy outlook. kind of has like an insatiable vibe to it but idk how to name it #i want soap to be a healing song but maybe im just being optimistic. im here for the vibes although i feel like if swk and macaque were #actually to make up i think they would go into it kicking and screaming. and im frustrated because i cant find a song to match that #except maybe bodybag which AGAIN. THEY ARE SO FUCKING STUPID THATS HOW THEYRE GONNA HEALL FLYING BARK PLS #what if it doesnt end well also feels like a doomed narrative to me. like if you think about it from how their relationship might have st #started (and im probably taking from how everyone romanticizes their relationship as something really innocent or sweet at the start which #i am also not immune to that). but knowing them it is also a very good possibility thats not the case at all. what it is i dont know #primadonna also strikes me as a swk song but like msotly because he serves cunt. on that note I like to imagine rose colored boy as swk to #MK.BECAUSEEE i love how MK brings out the best in people AND AND AND!! 5000 year old immortal who has seen some shit come on people 'and i #have taken my glasses off' COME ON LOOK ATIT. you could also argue that could be macaque to MK and it would make sense #Spotify #Lego Monkie kid #lmk #yapping #playlist #monkie kid

[syn0vial]

god, rereading that scene after doing a bit of a beviin deep dive is making me want to write a oneshot where beviin is actually there for one of boba's panic attacks... why must inspiration always strike right before bedtime? ;_;

#honestly‚ i'm kind of starting to headcanon that beviin HAS seen one of his panic attacks before #it would explain a few things about their interactions in the series #for example‚ how beviin knows how to recognize boba's ''oh god‚ get me out of here'' look when he's about to lose it #or how when boba starts to get anxious about mirta and grade's safety on the bloodfin mission‚ he immediately wishes beviin were there #though i imagine boba wanted to throw himself back into the sarlacc the first time beviin witnessed one of his panic attacks :`D #like‚ beviin is pretty much the one living person whose opinion boba cares about #and to have him see him in such a moment of helplessness and vulnerability... boba would hate it so much lmao #but beviin‚ being beviin‚ would know exactly how to deal with it and what to say #i think that would go a long way to contextualizing why boba trusts him so much by the time we see them in LotF #not just with strategic matters but very clearly with emotional and personal matters as well #fett feels #goran beviin

[bo0zey]

when gerard way said “when i grow up i want to be nothing at all” i felt those words in my gdamn soul bro

#cried alone in my car parked in my driveway for like 17 minutes #i feel so hopeless and useless and stupid so so so stupid i’ll never be smart enough like the other nurses #i can’t fucking think im too slow i don’t know anything #it’s the emergency room and god for fucking bid i have an emergent patient i don’t know wtf to do ever #i don’t know how to initiate protocols or contact interdisciplinary or put in complex orders i don’t know anything i’m so useless #everyone thinks i’m stupid i’ve been on orientation for like 2 months know and i’m still the same useless stupid novice airhead new grad #i just get so frazzled i feel like everyone expects so much out of me and i have to be perfect to meet their standards #but im stupid im subpar im not good enough like them like #ever if they’ve been nurses for years and i’ve only been working as one for legit 2 months it’s just i still don’t know how to do anything #it’s like i can’t think i don’t do things how they want me to do them and then i look stupid im the attending doctor thinks i’m so dumb but #she wouldn’t even hear me out like i know you want both fluids running i know it’s important but he only has.1 IV and they aren’t compatible #we’re trying to start a second IV and he had difficult veins like why are you trying to tell me i’m stupid i know why you ordered it thatway #it’s like nobody gets my dumbass brain but that’s not their fault bc they can think clearly and convey their thoughts to people without #sounding like a fucking dumbass i have no critical thinking skills im just useless i hate this so much i don’t want to be here it sucks #i never wanted to be a nurse i never wanted to be anything i was 12 years old hoping i’d be dead by 18 #and now i’m 23 and i’m still fucking here but it’s clear i shouldn’t be i don’t fit in im not fit for society #i should be euthanized like an unwanted dog that’s been at the shelter for too long that’s exactly what i am #20min later still crying can’t stop being a fucking crybaby pitypartying myself i’m the worst oh my god grow the fuck up already #why is everything so difficult for me why can’t i just fit in literally everyone knows i don’t belong #i’m the dumbest most useless new grad orientee and EVERYONE knows it even management it’s so embarrassing #i’m so embarrassed to be alive and take up space that could be filled by someone so much better smarter prepared someone meant to be there #i don’t want this i don’t want any of this i never wanted to grow up im just a kid in my head i’m so pathetic #i wish i was smart and good at something i wish people looked at me and thought o wow i respect her bc she’s also a good nurse #nobody likes me i’m such a burden to everyone the doctors my preceptors other nurses who deserve to be there #i’m leaking snot everywhere today wasn’t even that bad but i think it’s all just hitting me now how helpless i am #i’m so tired of myself and waking up and making a fool of myself every shift fucking stupid loser i hate myself i try so hard and it’s not #it’s not enough it’s never enough im not enough im an imposter i’ll never be as good as the other nurses even tho i’m really really trying #i seriously don’t want to do this anymore i don’t want to be here i can’t do it everyone knows i’m not cut out for this they all talk shit #ramblings