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archiveikemen · 11 months

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Ellis Twilight 1st Birthday Campaign: Story (2023)

His POV

I do not own any of the Ikemen Series content being uploaded on this blog, everything belongs to CYBIRD. Please support them by playing their games and buying stories. Not 100% accurate, expect mistakes.

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I still remember how “we” used to celebrate “our” birthday.

One year, while waiting for the real birthday cake Mother was baking at home, we raced each other up a hill in the twilight.

We pretended that the setting sun was our birthday cake, and blew out the “candles” on a count of three.

(That was the best moment, right?)

(— Nah.)

(The day it became “forever” was the happiest day.)

(— Huh?)

I snapped back to reality. I had dozed off while sitting on the couch, likely because I worked till late into the night yesterday.

(It’s been a long time since I last dreamt about those days.)

(... Oh, right. Today is our—)

Jude: Ellis.

Ellis: Jude and… Kate?

Kate: E-Ellis…!?

Jude: This girl has something for you.

Kate: J-Jude, I told you to keep it a secret from Ellis…!

Jude: Why should I be considerate of your feelings? If you have questions for him, ask the man himself.

Jude left the common room, leaving only Kate behind.

(I wonder if she got tricked by Jude to ask me something in secret.)

Ellis: You were looking for me?

When I tilted my head in question, Kate seemed to have given up and frowned.

She looked like a dejected little puppy. Cute.

Kate: I heard that… it’s your birthday today.

Kate: I wanted to find out from Jude what you liked, so that I can prepare a surprise for you.

Ellis: Why didn’t you ask me directly?

Kate: … Because I knew you would say that you like anything that makes me happy.

Kate: You’re always caring a lot about whether I’m happy, so today… I want you to be happy.

Ellis: You’re very kind, Kate.

To me, loving someone as a person doesn't necessarily require knowing them for a long time or having a very grand reason to.

That’s why making someone happy is as natural to me as breathing.

Ellis: Will it make you happy if I spend the whole day only doing things that make me happy?

Kate: Hmm… I guess so.

Ellis: Then, we’ll search for my happiness together today?

Kate: Huh…?

Ellis: I want to search for my happiness together with you.

Kate: … Will you be okay with that? I mean, spending your birthday with just me.

Ellis: Mm, I’m okay with it. … How about you, Kate?

I wanted to make sure that my choice would benefit her.

(Ah… that’s good. She seems okay with it.)

Seeing the slight blush in Kate’s cheeks and sensing that she was happy, it made me feel relieved.

Roger: Why are you two being all lovey dovey in the middle of the day?

Kate: Lovey dovey…!?

We didn’t notice until now that Roger was leaning against the doorframe of the common room. When our eyes met, he smiled.

Roger: Happy birthday.

Ellis: Thank you, Roger. Did you specially make your way here just to say that?

Roger: Nope? I just happened to be passing by and saw you guys.

Roger: I didn't prepare any presents for you, so I’ll buy you a nice drink next time.

Roger: Did you receive a proper present from Jude?

Ellis: He gave me a blank cheque as usual.

Kate: Does he always do that…?

Roger: Always. Anyway, you’re going out on a birthday date?

Ellis: Yeah, with Kate.

Roger: That guy Victor, he’s so excited about whipping up a feast with the castle chef tonight…

Roger: But if you two don’t come back, I’ll be sure to enjoy your share.

Roger waved and left with a cheeky smile.

Kate: W-We’ll come back of course…!

Ellis: Is that so?

Kate: Huh!?

(... Fufu, she’s so cute.)

Kate: … Please don’t tease me.

Ellis: I’m not teasing you.

Kate: … Let’s make sure we come back to the castle.

I thought Kate liked me a little bit too, as a person.

(If “this” is the kind of relationship that will make her happy.)

(I really wish she doesn’t have to go back.)

Kate: Before we head out, please promise me one thing.

Ellis: Promise you?

Kate: I want you to promise me that you’ll let me know when you dislike something.

Kate: You have the tendency to say that you’re happy even when you’re not, just because you want to make me happy.

Kate: This promise should NOT be broken today.

Seeing her try her very best to make me happy naturally brought a smile to my face.

Ellis: Mm. Got it, I promise you that.

…

Kate: This gelato place was my source of moral support when I was working as a postwoman.

Ellis: The gelato here must be very good, then. Which flavour is your favourite, Kate?

Kate: Lemon! I remember you saying that you like raspberry jam, so…

Kate: You might like this mixed berry flavoured gelato.

We chatted about all sorts of little things while strolling through the city of London.

Ellis: Mm… this is delicious.

Kate: … Happy?

Ellis: Happy. Fufu, it feels different than usual.

Whenever I said that I was “happy”, Kate would stare at me in such a way that she looked like she was trying to see if I was telling the truth. I found that rather amusing.

Kate: Is there anything you want as a birthday present?

Ellis: … I want a taste of your lemon flavoured gelato.

Kate: That’s not really what I meant…

Ellis: Let me think… I don’t have anything in particular that I want, but I do like things that smell nice.

Kate: Things that smell nice?

Ellis: Yeah. Like you.

Kate: … I’m not letting you taste my lemon flavoured gelato if you keep teasing me.

At the same time, she held out her gelato for me to have a taste, and so I licked a little of it.

Kate looked adorable when she was pretending to be angry, because she couldn't conceal her happiness.

In the end, we continued to walk around London. When Big Ben’s arms showed that it was 4 o’clock, Kate told me to stay put and hurried off somewhere.

(Is she going to meet an acquaintance?)

(... Ah, should I be monitoring her in times like this as a member of Crown?)

(Oh well, it’ll be fine.)

I sat on a railing at the riverside while waiting for Kate to return. Just then, a woman came and sat next to me.

Curly Hair Woman: Oh… pardon me, am I bothering you?

Ellis: Nope, you’re not.

Curly Hair Woman: I’m feeling dizzy… can I rest here for a little while?

Ellis: The hospital is nearby, do you need me to guide you to it?

Curly Hair Woman: Are you sure about that?

The woman’s face suddenly lit up upon hearing my casual offer, and she placed her palm on my leg.

(Ah...)

“If you want me to be that happy— give those to me.”

“If you want me to be happy… give them to me. Give me your legs!!”

“... In the end, it turns out that your own wants matter most.”

— I can no longer go anywhere I want. Are you satisfied now?

(...)

Unpleasant memories flashed into my mind, and a feeling of uneasiness rose from the pit of my stomach.

When I tried to swallow it back down…

Kate: Sorry for the wait! … Oh? Who is this?

(Kate…)

Kate looked at me with a concerned look while hiding something behind her back.

Ellis: … She said that she’s feeling dizzy. I was about to guide her to the hospital.

Kate: Are you alright?

Curly Hair Woman: … What the, is she your girlfriend?

Kate: Huh?

Curly Hair Woman: I don’t feel dizzy anymore. See you.

The woman suddenly stood up and walked away.

Kate: … Seems like she was lying to you…

Ellis: It does seem that way. Good thing she’s not feeling dizzy.

Kate: … Looking at you, you don’t look very well.

Kate gently placed her palm to my forehead.

Kate: You’re not running a fever, though…

(I promised to “voice out my dislikes”.)

Ellis: A moment ago, when she touched my leg… I recalled some unpleasant things.

Ellis: I don’t like being touched on my legs.

Kate: … I see.

Without probing any further, Kate simply nodded her head in response and respected my feelings.

Kate: Thank you for telling me.

Ellis: …? Why are you thanking me?

Kate: … You’re always concerned about the feelings of other people, and doing things for them.

Kate: But there's no such thing as a person who doesn't have their own desires.

Kate: You must be sacrificing a lot of your own "wants", right, Ellis?

(My… "wants"?)

The flashback from just now started clawing at the inside of my heart again.

Kate: Therefore, I’m not going to let you have any more unpleasant experiences for the rest of today.

Kate: Thanks to what you've just told me, I know what to avoid letting you go through.

Kate: Happy birthday. This is for you.

Ellis: This is…

She held out the bouquet of pale purple roses she had hidden behind her back.

The gentle breeze brought out its calming and sweet fragrance that suited the sunset.

Ellis: … Smells nice.

Ellis: … Mm, I’m very happy.

(But, therefore… I have to give this to you.)

Ellis: Can you close your eyes for a moment?

Kate: Huh? Okay…

Kate hesitantly covered her eyes with her hands.

Kate: Can I open my eyes now?

Ellis: Just a little longer.

(You said that there’s no such thing as a person without desires.)

(But I feel that I don’t have the need for desires.)

Or else, the “love” I feel inside of me— will turn into something scary.

Ellis: … You can open your eyes now.

Kate: …!

I gave Kate a flower crown made from the roses she had given me earlier. She was puzzled as she alternated her gaze between me and the flower crown.

Kate: This was… a present for you.

Ellis: Yeah. It was mine, and so I wanted to use it to make you happy.

Kate had a troubled smile on her face as she held the flower crown close to her chest.

Kate: … Ellis, you’re… a rather hard to deal with person…

(Ah…)

My heart suddenly felt moved.

The light from the setting sun shone down onto Kate.

The colour of the sky was a beautiful gradient of orange and purple.

That colour was one that could only be seen in that brief moment between day and night.

(How I wish I could stop time right now.)

— That pure and simple desire was mine, and mine only.

Kate: The sun is setting already… time seemed to have flown past in the blink of an eye today.

Kate’s voice brought me back to reality.

Kate: We should return to the castle soon.

I thought that the look in her eyes was saying that she wanted to stay a little longer.

(But— is it just me?)

(l have to make sure… so that I know if I’m just seeing things.)

I took a deep breath and closed the distance between us.

Ellis: … Hey, Kate.

I leaned my body forward against the railing, cornering Kate.

Ellis: I don’t want to go back to the castle. … Can we not?

I pretended to be selfish, because I wanted to know her true feelings.

I had to pretend, in order to suppress the desire that had risen up inside me earlier.

Kate: W-We can’t. Everyone is waiting for us back at the castle.

Ellis: … But you don’t look like you want to go back.

The tips of Kate’s ears turned slightly red… that’s how I knew that what I thought I saw was real.

Ellis: Because of you, I’m very happy today.

Ellis: How about you, Kate? How happy do you feel today?

Ellis: To thank you for today, I want to make you the happiest you’ve ever been.

Kate: Ellis…

Ellis: What would you like? You can go shopping without having to worry about money, or I can take you to meet anyone you want to.

Kate: It’s your birthday today, Ellis… I don't need anything.

Ellis: If there’s anything I can do for you, I’ll do it. Be it kisses, hugs… or more than that.

Kate: Those things will only make you feel the happiest if done with someone you like in a very special way…

(Oh… I see.)

Ellis: Then I’ll just have to make you like me in that special way.

Kate: Huh…?

Ellis: I’ll be sure to do my best.

Kate’s eyes wavered.

Ellis: Some day, I’ll make you feel the happiest you’ve ever felt.

(Not for my sake, but for yours.)

(I’ll make all your wishes come true, so that you’ll be happy.)

Then came twilight, painting our surrounding scenery in the colours of night.

#ikemen villains #ikemen series #cybird ikemen #cybird otome #otome #ikevil birthday #ellis twilight

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clubdionysus · 19 days

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[BAD DECISION #21] Doing The 'Right' Thing

warnings: christmas is upon us! secret santa, yay!! jiyeong, booo! no major warnings! the arrival of b's bird hehe. some of my fave jimin parts are in this lol (he's one of my faves)

soundtrack: touch - keshi

wc: 10.1k

bd total wc: 540k (ongoing)

AO3 | MASTERLIST | MINORS DNI

An emptiness echoes down your apartment corridor, dim lights flickering above you, as you make your way home after practically running away from Jeongguk's bed.

A new bulb has been needed for a couple of weeks now, but your landlord doesn't care enough to change it. As long as the electricity runs and the water flows through taps, he thinks all is fair. Sure, you could change it - but Danbi gives you a firm 'why on earth would you do that?' every single time you suggest it.

It's for this reason - the shrouded darkness and the bleary hungover eyes - that you almost think you're seeing things as you notice an object by your apartment door.

A bouquet. White roses. An easy dozen, of which you'll undoubtedly count as soon as you're close enough. The stems are emerald green, fresh and perfectly picked to construct the most beautiful arrangement you think you've ever seen.

Poised and pristine, they look out of place in your apartment block - but you know they'll look right at home on your kitchen counter in the vase Danbi stole from her family home a couple of holiday seasons ago (you'd just been using a pint glass beforehand (again, stolen by Danbi's nimble fingers, just from your local pub instead of her mother's kitchen cupboard)).

You tell yourself it's strange. Let your head whisper little lies as white as the rose petals, telling you that you can't imagine who'd be sending either of you flowers. Perhaps Tae for Danbi? A secret admirer?

But you know. You know who picked them out, who sent them directly to your door. You know who always chose the black and white design of the minimalist greeting card wedged in between the flowers.

You know, because you got these flowers a week after your first date with him . Got them after the fifth date, just because. You got them on your birthday. Valentines. First anniversary.

You got them, again, after that one argument when you'd sworn down he tasted like latex, which was strange, because protection had been off the cards for months by that point. You trusted him.

The last time you got them was a week after the breakup. Again, just because. Just so you knew he was thinking of you. Asshole .

And so you don't check the card. Just pick up the pot they're prettily displayed in, and type your door code in with a sigh. You lean your shoulder against the heavy steel to open it up, a little exhausted by the events of the night and the emotional labour you know looking at those flowers will have on you.

They're too pretty to throw away, mind you - and when you look at Danbi's mother's vase, you're sad to see the flowers given to you by Jeongguk in the sanctuary of his favourite cafe are now withered and pathetic. The water has all but evaporated away, and rogue leaves lay by the base of their glass holder. Shame.

What once were the most fantastic wild blooms are now skeletons of their former selves.

S'what you get for tearing the stems from their life source. How can you ever expect them to thrive in hostile conditions?

And so Jins's roses will take pride of place in your home, and you'll pretend not to care.

They'll replace what was left to wither by Jeongguk, and you'll ignore the fact it was you who should have tried harder to keep them alive.

Congratulations on the art show. Proud to see your progression. Sorry I couldn't be there. J x reads his calling card - and as much as you know you should really tear it up and feed it to the recycling bin, you can't bring yourself to. It's stuck on the fridge beneath a 'Welcome to Vietnam' magnet purchased in the airport during a layover, not because you've ever actually visited the country.

It'll stay there for months. Danbi won't think to discard it, and you'll forget that you ever put it there.

In fact, you don't notice it again until a few weeks later as you're rushing around, running late for dinner, grabbing a bottle of fizz from the fridge.

The flowers have all dried up now, tossed in the trash, and the vase is empty. They lasted not even a week before they began to wilt. Typical of Seokjin, you had supposed at the time. Permanence isn't his thing.

Slamming the fridge door shut, you don't have a chance to even consider getting rid of the note - but you do think that you should, and that's something at least. It's not like you've heard from him since that night.

Hell, you've barely heard from Jeongguk.

Little messages here and there have been exchanged, but nothing substantial. Nothing that addresses the night you spent in his bed. In fact, you're pretty sure he's been spending his nights in someone else's bed recently.

It's not an unfathomable thought to have. It's been about a month since you set up his blind date, and Jiyeong is apparently doing the hardest soft launch known to man. It's not even subtle at this point. Her Instagram stories - of which constantly seem to be updating - are littered with the essence of Jeongguk.

Mugs from the ceramic painting place were the first clue. A selfie of her in his jacket, the second. The third was a blurry club photo of a hand you wished you didn't recognise so well loosely holding onto hers in the midst of a crowd. You wonder if it was taken on the night of the art show, or if they've been clubbing together since that night, just the two of them.

You forget the fourth, and the fifth, and the sixth, and now there's been so many damn stories you've lost count. Just know that the most recent one was a mirror selfie from the gym, carefully cropped so that the guy who had been spotting her was out of frame - but his tattooed arm? Yeah . She'd left that in.

You wonder whose company he prefers in the gym, and know that it's hers. At least that way he can actually properly work out. You're aware he'll get glares of jealousy from the gym bros who have a thing for Jiyeong, unlike the confused stares of the same gym bros who had wondered why the fuck a muscle rat like Jeongguk was wasting time on cardio with a girl who preferred sitting on a stationary treadmill rather than running on it.

Danbi had laughed at your scowl when you stumbled across the story a few days ago. Told you to be careful. "If the wind changes, your face will get stuck like that."

Good , you thought. Maybe it should. Then Jeongguk would permanently be reminded of how insufferable you find this whole situation.

You couldn't care less about the fact he's dating. Couldn't care less for the fact he's dating her - hell, you'd been the one to set it up! What is bothering you is how quiet he's been. It feels like you've barely spoken to him all month - but rational thinking seems to go out of the window when it comes to him.

See, the thing, Jeongguk's silence? His avoidance of you?

It doesn't exist.

In your head, maybe, but not in reality. You're orchestrating some great loss for no good reason.

There's been no real change to how he communicates with you. He still messages you just as much. He'd sent you a tinyURL link just the day before just to disguise what he was really sending you - the breadfish website. It was like being rickrolled in the big year of 2022. Made you smile like a fucking idiot behind the desk of the art cafe. Hobi had looked at you like you had three heads when the song echoed into the room.

But you simply added a laugh reaction emoji to Jeongguk's message and locked your phone as if it hadn't made your day.

You're the one avoiding him .

And - fucking hell - you'd only seen him four days ago! Had gone for a post-gym coffee walk. Had spoken about everything - the science of pollination, your favourite supermarkets (Homeplus reigned supreme), the best song of 2009 (which had ended in the promise of a noraebang battle, because you couldn't decide between fireflies (even though Jeongguk couldn't remember owlcity's name) or good girls go bad (which also resulted in you explaining Gossip Girl lore he never asked for)) - and anything... everything and anything... apart from Jiyeong. You didn't mention her. Nor did he.

It's not like you've mentioned sharing a bed with him that one night either, so avoiding uncomfortable topics isn't entirely unheard of.

Thing is, you've both been pretending like things are absolutely normal. Still grab coffee together, still send each other dumb raccoon memes, still look for each other on Friday nights in the dark shadows of Dionysus.

The way you see it, if you don't make a big deal of things, they don't have to be a big deal. You've downplayed it all. Pretended like there hasn't been a weight on your chest since you left his apartment that morning.

That's one difference, you guess. You've not returned to his since.

That's what you're really missing; the sanctuary nurtured with Jeongguk in the confines of his room. Home away from home. 'The kids'.

But your head's all frazzled, and you've been trying not to focus on it too much. Just continue lying to yourself, as if an Oscar is dependent on your performance. You've gotten so good at acting as if you're happy with the current set up, you're managing to fool everyone - including yourself.

Hurrying down the stairs of your apartment, you know that your acting skills have to be on top form tonight. Can't be letting the pesky mask slip. Have worn extra glitter to keep it in place.

Jimin waits by the end of your road, engine running, eyes shamelessly on you as you head up the street towards him.

It's late December, and the shop windows are full of well-wishes for the upcoming festivities and special offers for last-minute gifts.

In your bag, you're carrying a bottle of whisky for Yoongi and a luxury bath bomb set for Seoyeon. You've no idea if the whisky is any good, but it was on the top shelf, so you're hoping it's alright. As for the bath bombs, they're your favourite (and will leave Seoyeon with a sheen of your signature glitter all over her skin afterwards), so you're not so worried about them.

The presents are more to say 'thank you' for hosting the Christmas Eve dinner, and less so intended to be actual gifts. As a rule, to make life a little easier for everyone, Secret Santa had been organised a few weeks prior. No other gifts allowed - but not taking something for the hosts felt wrong.

Seoyeon had sorted everything out for Secret Santa, so it really had been stress-free.

Yours (intended for Jimin) has been wrapped for the best part of a week and is ready to go. It sits snug in your bag, between Yoongi's whisky and your own bottle of vodka - it is Christmas, after all. The bottle of fizz you're holding by the neck? A little extra bit of festive liquid luck.

"Alright?" Jimin greets you with a smile as you pop open the passenger door and slip in beside him. Your bag is popped in the footwell, but you hold onto the prosecco.

"Happy Christmas," you smile - then glance up to check he hasn't put mistletoe above the handbrake. It's all clear. Surprisingly .

"What?" He asks, noticing the way your eyes dart around, but you dismiss his question.

"Just raring to go," you lie - and Jimin can see right through it. Doesn't care too much to ask any further.

He merges into oncoming traffic with ease. He's a smooth driver. Not as fast as Jeongguk, but just as competent. You know you shouldn't compare - but how can you not?

It was supposed to be Jeongguk giving you a lift to The Mins.

Was supposed to be him playing cheesy Christmas tunes and demanding you duet with him for the entire journey.

Was supposed to be him who stopped at a Mcdonald's drive-thru, 'cause he's addicted to the limited edition festive sauce that comes with the cheese bites.

Was supposed to be him who stopped in a side lane just down the road from Yoongi's place, so he could air his car out and make sure you both didn't smell like Maccies, knowing full well The Mins would be cooking up a storm.

Was supposed to be him .

And yet you're having to rely on Jimin - who you haven't seen since you last left his bedroom - to ferry you to Christmas Eve dinner.

It's not that you aren't grateful. Danbi is visiting family, and Hoseok always hangs out with his old school friends on Christmas eve, so you've been looking forward to this for weeks. It's always nice to be surrounded by people you care about, especially at this time of year. Far better than being alone.

"Spoken to Gguk today?" Jimin asks before he even bothers with other formalities. Knows that things have been a little... difficult, lately. Has noticed how antsy Jeongguk has been around the apartment. Short tempered. Impatient. Isn't sure if it's you or Jiyeong making him like this. Maybe both.

You're quiet for a moment as you wait for your phone to connect to his car speaker system. Are both amused and slightly disgusted by the name choice for his car - Park & Ride. A true lothario.

"Nope."

And then you realise that such a definitive answer makes way for a million questions, so you overcompensate.

"No need," you continue with a shrug. "He let me know that he couldn't do today, hence me asking if you could give me a ride - thanks, by the way - but other than that? I think we've both just been busy."

"Yeah," Jimin nods, then thinks, busy ignoring each other . "He actually asked me to give you a ride before you even called, so it's all good. No skin off my back.

"Thank you," you say regardless. "I really appreciate it."

"No bother," he shakes his head. "It's always good to have company - plus Yoongi lives so fucking far out of the city. I get bored alone."

"Well, consider me your very own entertainment system," you grin, as your phone finally connects to his radio system. His car is a lot different to Jeongguk's. No better, no worse. Just not the same.

Jimin doesn't force you to talk about Jeongguk like you half think he will. In fact, it's you who is the first one to mention him again.

"Bringing Jiyeong, isn't he?" You ask, trying to sound nonchalant.

He nods. "Mhmm. She wanted to spend Christmas with him, but he thinks it's too soon. This was his compromise, I guess."

You're silent for a moment, contemplating just what the fuck you've done to everyone's lives by setting him up with Jiyeong. Sure, it's not really a negative change, but it's a change nonetheless. Everyone's lives are affected by this. There'll be an extra seat at the table. Another present for Secret Santa.

Part of you doesn't understand why you're being so dramatic about it all. In the grand scheme of everything, Jiyeong changes nothing. Makes no difference if she's in attendance. The only thing it really changes is how Jeongguk will interact with you.

"That's nice," you say. You really want to mean it.

"Is it?" Jimin asks, his tone just as sincere as yours is trying to be.

"Mhmm," you nod. "It's good he's found someone."

Again, Jimin just asks, "is it?"

"Well, yeah?" You laugh softly. "I know he was hung up on Hayun for a while, so it's good that he's moving on."

Eyes on the road, Jimin smirks and gently shakes his head. "Think we've got different ideas of what 'hooked' means. Dumbass hasn't been hooked on her for months. Quite positively unhooked, if you ask me."

"Oh," you murmur. "Well, either way. It's nice having someone around this time of year."

"Is that what you're after?" He teases, knowing that you'd have had no problem trying to find that for yourself if you really wanted it.

"Couldn't think of anything worse," you grin - and you really do mean it. You've grown selfish in your singledom. Having to factor in someone else's feelings, their needs, their schedule, to your plans would just annoy you, you think.

You neglect to acknowledge how those things come without a second thought when you actually care about someone. It's not a chore, or an obligation. When you're into someone, you factor them in because life is better with them around. You'd rather disrupt your selfish ways to make room for them in your schedule.

"Me either, DB," Jimin agrees. "You're full of shit, though."

"Sorry?" You turn to face him, but his eyes are on the road, a smug smirk on his face.

"You're forgiven."

"No," you laugh. "Sorry as in 'what the fuck?' "

"That's far less polite," Jimin smiles, still, deliberately winding you up.

"So is telling someone they're full of shit!"

"Well, you are!" He laughs, looking up to the rear view mirror before he merges lane. "We both know if Gguk turned around and insisted on doing something that would disrupt your plans-"

"I'd tell him to wait his turn."

Jimin laughs again. "You're a liar."

"And you're a shit-stirrer."

He tilts his head a little, sticking his bottom lip out, as if he's considering your words - before conceding with a nod. "Yeah, you're not wrong. I just don't get the pair of you. Act like you're just friends, set each other up on blind dates, but shag ea-"

"Sorry?" You almost choke the second ' shag ' leaves his mouth.

"Forgiven," he smirks. "Again."

"Not what I meant," you protest. "Again."

"So what?" Jimin teases. "You're gonna pretend like you haven't?"

"We don't shag!" You almost shriek. It's not a lie. At least not anymore. "He's got a- well, I'm not really sure what they are, but it doesn't matter. He's seeing someone."

"So?"

"Oh my god," you say with even more horror than before. "Not everyone sluts themselves out for a quick thrill Jimin."

"True. But I do, and I know you do, too."

"You know no such thing."

"I've fucked you twice."

"Shut up."

"Is this what you're like with him, too?" He teases. It's all in good humour, but Jimin is trying to get under your skin.

Jeongguk wouldn't crack. Had said you'd rested some of your things on his chair when you came to say bye in the morning. Reckons you'd left it by accident.

Jimin's bed had been cold on the side that wasn't his and void of any perfume when he'd woken up. Knows you didn't sleep in his bed - but Jeongguk refused to admit anything, and so Jimin is seeing if you're easier to crack. Doesn't want the truth for truth's sake, but just because he loves being right.

"His skin ain't as thick as mine, poor baby needs a softer approach," Jimin adds. "Hope you're nice to him in bed."

"I've never been in his bed," you roll your eyes. "And poor baby ain't gentle in the slighte-"

"HA! So you are fucking him!"

"No!"

"Been trying to get the truth out of him for weeks," Jimin tells you.

"What truth?" You feign innocence once more.

" What truth? " He mimics, voice high in pitch and whiney - far whinier than you think yours actually is. "You're both as bad as one another. Why was your bra in his room after you fucked me?"

You're silent.

"It's a very simple question," he assures you.

You want to unbuckle your seatbelt, open the car door and roll onto the road. Don't care about the oncoming traffic. Would be far less painful than this conversation.

"The answer is simple, too," you say, deciding that deflection is the best way to go. "You're just not gonna believe anything I say unless it ends in an admission of us fucking."

"True," he concedes. "Look, I don't give a shit if you are. Accidentally gave him crabs once-"

"Sorry?"

"Forgiven," Jimin smirks, before deciding to just carry on with his declaration. "Was years ago, now. It's why he doesn't share towels. Anyways, what I'm saying is that we've shared weirder things."

"I'm not an object," you scoff a little, skipping the song that's softly humming from the speakers to something a little more lively. You're currently listening to some indie artist that Jeongguk had on once while he'd been studying during a hangout, and you don't like the constant reminders of him. The conversation is bad enough as it is.

"Nor were the crabs?"

Jimin, you decide, is one of the most complex people you've ever met. An interior designer with the simplest bedroom known to man; a charming lothario who is just as revolting as he is seductive. You're not really sure how he does it, but he does make you laugh at least. Mainly from confusion, but a laugh is a laugh. It's still enjoyable. He's nice to be around.

You're incompatible, to say the least, but he's fun, which is probably why you didn't mind going for round two - the more you get to know him though, the more you solidify the fact that round three is off the cards.

The rest of the drive goes without another mention of Jeongguk, and whether or not he's seen just as much of you as Jimin has. The man in the driver's seat is intuitive, though, and just knows . Doesn't need you to confirm it. Doesn't need Jeongguk to, either. Is content in his assumptions.

You're pleased to arrive before Jeongguk.

Seoyeon greets you with a hug as warm as a Daegu summer, and Yoongi's smile is just as toasty. Despite the freeze of winter months, the Min's cultivate a warmth that makes even the ondol seem redundant.

Yoongi studies the whisky with an impressed pout and a nod, reading over the label. "Good choice. Want some?"

Shaking your head, you pull out the vodka instead.

"Keep that away from Seoyeon," he jokes, which causes her to zoom back over to the pair of you with an enthusiastic smile.

"Keep what awa- oooh! Vodka," she grins. "Care to share?"

And so Yoongi's warning is redundant, because yes , you really would like to share. It's not that Yoongi doesn't want her drinking, it's just that he knows her like the back of his hand. Vodka always gets her a little too tipsy, and they've still got a meal to serve up - but if he has to take the lead, he'll take it, just so she can let her hair down a little. It's Christmas, after all. A time for celebrating.

Yet when Jeongguk arrives, Jiyeong in toe, you find yourself downing the dregs of your first drink just to wash down your apprehension. Don't feel like celebrating. Feel like commiserating. You've not been around Jeongguk while he's been with Jiyeong since Tae's art show.

Makes you think of the bar. Makes you think of your hand on his thighs in the dark shadows, and the heaviness of his presence behind you in the bathroom, wide eyes on his in the reflection of an aged mirror. Makes you feel guilty .

It's not like anything happened - but you condemn yourself because you know it wasn't right, even if it wasn't exactly wrong.

"Sorry we're late," he says, and it's bizarre how his voice alone settles the ache in your chest. "Traffic was a bitch."

He reaches behind himself for her hand, to guide Jiyeong further into the room. The way she holds it, and how her other hand wraps around his wrist makes you think now would be a great time for another drink. You chalk it up to your disdain for PDA - as if you hadn't watched on with a smile as Yoongi had pressed a tiny kiss against Seoyeon's head while she'd been pouring herself a drink.

PDA doesn't bother you at all. In fact, you'd once argued with Seokjin about the fact he never held your hand in public. Said he didn't like getting clammy palms.

Maybe that's it. Maybe you're jealous of the intimacy.

Jeongguk's made leaps and bounds since the first bird fell - but Jeongguk never had an issue with intimacy. That one was all on you. Trained by Seokjin, you've a lot to unlearn, even now. You weren't done with the birds. Nowhere near close.

Jeongguk's fear of rejection is still just as potent as your intimacy issues, he just masks it well. Lets Jiyeong take the lead. He doesn't reject her, but he doesn't open himself up for rejection either.

He glances over to you and nods, a small smile on his lips. Head to toe in black, he's dressed up a little bit. Is in slacks and a button-up, a leather belt around his waist. Still got his converse on, though. His dainty silver lip ring flips ever so gently, and it's like you've been drinking prosecco this entire time, a little fizz bubbling in your stomach - so you pour yourself a glass of it to disguise the feeling. Hold it up and nod, as if to say some silent cheers or celebration.

Jiyeong catches his gaze. Whispers something in his ear. Diverts his attention - and so you divert your eyes. Engage in conversation with Nabi and Tae - a stupid debate about the best pepero flavour. Tae swears down by the original, but Nabi is an almond girlie. You offend them both when you say you like the 'nude' flavour - where the chocolate is on the inside, the biscuit acting as an outer layer.

"Of all the things I've ever learnt about you, this is by far the worst," Tae tells you with such certainty that you can't help but laugh. Nabi defends you. Tells Tae at least your choice isn't 'boring' like his.

Eventually, as you settle around the dinner table, everyone gets involved, and Jeongguk is the worst offender. Says the cheddar cheese flavour is underrated. Even Jiyeong refuses to defend him, there.

"Right," Tae says in disgust. "Little Miss Nude and Mr Cheddar fucking Cheese, you can both get out. I'm not celebrating Christmas with either of you."

"What?"

"Oh, c'mon!"

You both protest, but Tae refuses to have any of it. It's all in good humour - everyone is laughing, and tipsy grins are on the faces of the people you adore the most. Even Jiyeong seems to be enjoying herself - but she'll only look at Jeongguk. Not you. The joke is only funny because he's involved. If it were just you, she'd probably not find much humour in it.

Nabi is quick to refill both of your drinks throughout the evening.

"Christmas is reserved for being drunk, and drunk only," she tells you with absolute certainty as you dillydally in the kitchen while the rest of your friends continue their conversation around the dinner table. Seeing her out of her shell is nice, so you don't mind her insistence. "It's the true Scots way."

You learn more about her family - Scottish on her dad's side. She'd usually be there for Christmas, but having spent the summer there, she'd opted for Christmas back in Korea, and regrets it. Loves her family dearly, and misses their tradition of getting absolutely blitzed every December. It's not necessarily the 'true Scots way' as she says, but it's her way - getting you guys buzzed is her way of feeling like she's 'home'. It's lovely to be included, you decide.

Her hair is up with a tartan ribbon - Black Watch, she tells you the pattern is. Deep green and dark blue, it couldn't be further from her family's rich red-based tartan - but it didn't match her outfit as well, and she's not too precious about it.

She babbles about her family, and asks about yours. Is just as interested in you as you are in her. There's a warmth to Nabi once she opens up. Despite how cold she'd been the first time you'd met her, it seems as if this is the real Nabi. The standoffish approach is unintentional, and she realises it does her no favours - but makes the friendships formed much more genuine.

Dinner is eaten. Compliments are given to the chefs. Seoyeon and Yoongi battle for the head chef title, but it's redundant because everyone's a little too tipsy for their own good. All you'll remember in the morning is that it was fucking delicious. Might even rival your mother's cooking.

Jeongguk sits on the opposite side of the dinner table, a few seats down from yours. Jiyeong is next to him, closer to you, almost like she wants a barrier.

Or maybe she's just a girl sitting next to the guy she's dating at dinner.

You blame the bitter thoughts on the vodka-induced haze. It's unlike you - but Christmas was always going to be difficult for you. It's the one time of year Seokjin would really pull through. All of your fondest memories with him stem from this season.

You'd grown a little dependent on Jeongguk to alleviate the strain caused by the ghost of Christmas past, but he can't do that now. It's okay, that he can't. He shouldn't. Not if he wants things with Jiyeong to work out - of which he does.

Part of him knows, though, that an argument is brewing. It's in the way Jiyeong stiffens every time you become a focal point of the conversation. How her eyes follow you as you re-enter the room with Nabi, your friendship something she can't understand because she's still on cold-terms with Nabi. Doesn't realise yet it's just how Nabi works - and while you'd been tolerant of it, Jiyeong takes offence.

Her discomfort also shows in her grip on Jeongguk's thigh and how it becomes a little tighter when he laughs at jokes you make. A reminder, he thinks. You're here with me. Pay attention to me.

He can't blame her. They've been dating for a month. This is their first major holiday. Of course she'd want things to go well. To feel special.

Gym sessions have doubled as dates, which has increased the time spent together, but he's also made an effort outside of their common space. They've been for dinner, been to the city's main amusement park. Done 'datey' things, because that's the 'done' thing. He holds her hand when they're together, and kisses her goodbye.

He's still yet to invite her back to his. Not for a fear of rejection, but because he still hasn't taken those damn birds down.

Sometimes she likes to argue with him for the sake of making him squirm. If a text comes through from you, he knows a row is due - but has learned that sometimes she orchestrates them just to get him in her bed. Manipulates him a little bit. Whines. Says she doesn't even think he likes her that much - so he tries to prove that he does.

Thinks that maybe sex could be the answer - and given how sweet and sincere she always is in the aftermath, and how she always says sorry for being mean when he's in her sheets, it seems like it does work.

For a while, at least.

And so that's how his weeks go. Jiyeong is fine until she's not, and then Jeongguk will fix things by fucking her - because how could you possibly be an issue when she's the one he's fucking? It's her name on his tongue, her tongue in his mouth, and vice versa.

But he's found he's adopted your behaviours. He never stays over. He'll spend the evening at hers. Let her do things you won't. Kisses her when he fucks her, because it's what feels right - but doesn't stay the night because it feels wrong . It is intimate. He's not sure he wants to take things that far, yet. Isn't sure he likes the lingering resentment that's building; how it feels like he's being conditioned to associate sex with the unpleasantness of an argument.

He tries not to think of Hayun, but he remembers how he'd fuck her, just hoping - praying - she'd realise his feelings for her. Doesn't like that he's fucking Jiyeong as a way to prove himself. It feels too familiar.

They're not official. Exclusive, yes, but not official. It's still in its trial period, which is further than he ever got with Hayun, though.

Jeongguk knows, deep down, that he's too much of a hopeless romantic to ever need a 'trial period'. Knows that if this was the right thing for him, he'd already be thinking about sharing a home and naming children. Just how he's wired.

But he's jumped in too quickly before, and it's never ended well. He's taking things slow, because he wants it to be different. Knows that love is a choice, so he's actively choosing her.

Isn't in love yet. Not even close. But he wants to be.

And so he ignores the fact he doesn't think he can peacefully coexist with you without Jieyong getting irritated because he thinks if he keeps choosing her, she'll understand. He thinks if he proves himself, his dedication, that she'll accept it.

He's trying .

Even as an outsider, you recognise this. Can see that sometimes he goes to do things - to speak, to joke - and then catches himself. Speaks to her instead. Includes her in conversations that she'd otherwise remain mute in.

He's trying , which is more than Seokjin ever did for you. Makes you appreciate Jeongguk's careful nature even more. You think that Jiyeong would be mad to give him up, and it appears that he's not intending on giving her up, so all that's left to do is accept that this is your reality now.

The birds were fun while they lasted, but you'd rather have Jeongguk around, than not at all. It's a small compromise - and maybe you're a few drinks too deep, but by the time Secret Santa exchange comes around, you find yourself smiling at how animated he becomes. His round eyes glow with excitement, enthused by the fun of it all. A big kid at heart, Jeongguk is the purest soul you've ever known.

He's the one who passes out the gifts, like a kid on Christmas morning organising the presents beneath the tree. He wants to touch them all, feel their weight, see if they make a noise. Also wants to unwrap them all, but knows he can't, so excitedly hurries them along.

You can tell almost immediately who he wrapped a gift for - his smile becomes nervous, nibbling down on his bottom lip as he tentatively observes Tae unwrap an immaculately wrapped parcel. You should have guessed, really, knowing how good Jeongguk is with folding paper, that it would be from him.

Inside is a painting by numbers book for beginners - "Oh fuck off," Tae laughs - and a pair of earrings that have tiny, fully-functional, watercolour painting sets dangling from them.

Tae is obsessed . Takes his small hoops out, and puts the earrings in immediately. They're ridiculous and everyone is aware of it, but the way Tae dips the tiny brush into his wine and uses it to wet some of the paint is amusing to everyone. He gets straight to work painting in the first page - which is quite literally a square with just a single number inside it.

The way Jeongguk beams as Tae gets to grips with it is so endearing that you find yourself just as enthused as he is.

He's laughing, all childlike and full of life, and you decide that not having him in your life would be a crying shame. You're grateful for many things, but moments like these? They're the cherry on top of a good life.

You're a little more nervous as Jimin begins to unwrap his present.

It's from you, not that anyone is aware - hell, you're not even sure Jimin will realise the joke you're making as he neatly removes the ribbons you've wrapped around his gift. Everyone watches on with great curiosity as he begins to decipher what on earth he's received.

It's a two-part gift. The first thing? A desk sign.

Don't touch my pens , it reads - until he slides a small tab across, which changes it to say 'Do touch my pen.'

He smirks. Thinks he knows where this is going. Thinks he knows who gave it to him - and he unwraps the second part of your gift, he laughs in a way you don't think you've ever heard before.

"Oh, you little fucker," he grins at you, holding close three brand new pens, that match the one he'd claimed to be his favourite on the first night you had met. It's all a bit tongue-in-cheek, and you know it could probably prompt a few questions. You're not too sure what everyone knows of yours and Jimin's shared history, but you decide you don't really care.

"It's an in-joke," Jimin tells everyone, not wanting to air your dirty laundry. He sets his desk sign in front of him, and changes it back to ' Don't touch my pens ,' then neatly lines his new ones into a row, a pleased smile on his angelic face. Looks up at you. Grins. "Good memory."

You just shrug, pleased that he finds humour in them. The smile on your face is warm.

The smile on Jeongguk's face? Gone.

It returns when Jiyeong goes to open her present. Whoever had her name made a conscious effort to make her feel included despite not knowing her all too well. They also probably asked Jeongguk for some pointers, but that doesn't matter.

"Oh, these are ideal," she grins at a set of workout dice. There are six, each covered in different workouts and stretches. A final one indicates how many reps should be done. "I'm so bored of my current routine. These are literally perfect."

There's a lot to be said for how someone receives a gift, and Jiyeong seems genuinely appreciative. Alongside the dice is a custom water bottle with her name on it, and a cheat-day chocolate bar, both of which are just as well received.

From across the table, you sit with a soft smile on your lips. Perhaps this new normal could be nice.

Jeongguk feels your gaze. Glances towards you. Is pleased by the look on your face. Smiles, too.

You're the last to receive your present. It's wrapped a little haphazardly, and truth be told, you've no idea who it could be from. So far, no one has admitted to anything.

Occasionally, you just know - like Jeongguk's gift for Tae.

You've no idea who gifted Jeongguk quite possibly the largest shirt you've ever seen in your life.

It's a T-shirt, but the sleeves end by his wrists, and the hem of the shirt is below his knees. A joke at the expense of his love for baggy clothes, he's wearing it with pride and a silly little grin on his face. It's impractical and ridiculous, but it sums him up perfectly. Maybe it's the sheer amount of vodka you've consumed, but you can't seem to stop laughing every time you look at him.

Jiyeong doesn't really find it that funny, but she laughs too because she doesn't like the way Jeongguk looks at you when you laugh.

Yoongi's had nearly half a bottle of whisky because every time he notices the tension, he downs his drink. Can't be dealing with it. Doesn't understand how no one else is privy to it.

When you've finally discarded the wrapping paper, you find yourself laughing. Of course you are - the gift is perfect .

You open the box up, and then everyone joins in with your laughter as you pull out a bloody disco ball.

"Incredible," you beam, letting it spin in front of you, soft giggles escaping your lips. The light reflects as you twirl it around, dappling everyone in the most gorgeous speckles. Ethereal and whimsical, it's perhaps the best secret santa gift you've ever received.

Jiyeong doesn't smile. Just looks at Jeongguk as he looks at you, and wonders why he's incapable of ever looking at you without that stupid fucking smile on his face. It irritates her.

You don't look at Jeongguk. Just at the disco ball. You fear he's got stars in his eyes - and when your body betrays your mind, and eventually does glance towards him, you're proven right.

Of course he does though. He's looking at his star girl, and would have galaxies in his eyes regardless. Always has done. Regretfully, always will.

See, the stars are just reflections of your glitter. They won't burn out. Will never disintegrate. Very bad for the environment.

Forever is a long time, but he thinks it's the only accurate timeframe he can give to the splendour of your sparkle.

As your eyes linger for just a moment too long, there's an acute awareness between you both that things were better before.

He misses stargazing.

You miss the way he watches you.

Jeongguk doesn't know what to make of it. Things should be better now. Things should feel right - but he's holding back the full smile he wants to give you. Feels like he can't enthuse with you. Knows it will lead to an argument, and he's been trying to avoid those. Knows that Jiyeong is at her worst when she's had a few drinks, and knows it won't take much for her to blow up at him.

The worst part? He knows when they stopped for gas on their way there, he'd returned to the car with snacks (of which she'd naturally been happy about) but also an air freshener in the shape of a tiny fucking disco ball. He'd found it hilarious. She'd thought it was cute, but didn't understand why he liked it so much. She liked how much he liked it though, so had hung it up for him while he was driving.

Jeongguk knows she isn't stupid. Knows dots are being joined in her head. Knows that when he saw that air freshener, he thought of you. Knows that he loved it because of you. Part of him didn't even realise himself at the time, but now that he comes to think of it, it's obvious.

Jiyeong's internalised rage could shatter the disco ball you're holding into a thousand pieces - and Jeongguk knows you'd still find beauty in it.

You're a hopeless romanticist, just like he's a hopeless romantic. Both find love in things you shouldn't; you in ideas, him in people.

So he just nods. Lets someone else make jokes about your disco ball eyes, and how it's like looking at a sculpture of you. Laughs as you fake offence for being likened to a ball-shaped object - but stiffens his back when he realises Jiyeongs strengthening grip on his thigh.

You pretend you don't wish Jeongguk would make a stupid remark about how he was the one who invented that nickname, and how he deserves the credit.

He just turns to Jiyeong and whispers something in her ear. You've no idea what he says, but she smiles. Better than the death glare you'd been getting previously, so you ignore it.

That new normal you had decided was okay? Yeah. You hate it.

That Oscar-worthy performance you've been putting on prevails, though. As the night dwindles on, you holding the disco ball close, fractured light painting your throat in different hues, you couldn't look happier.

Natural divisions form - Jeongguk ends up in the kitchen with Tae, Jimin and Jiyeong, while Yoongi stays with the girlies. Namjoon is off visiting family, so he doesn't have his usual right-hand man - but he has his wife-to-be and a little plait in his hair, so he doesn't mind all too much.

"It's upstairs," Yoongi says to you quietly a little while later. "Spare room."

You nod, knowing what he means straight off the bat. Glancing through the doorway to where Jeongguk has his arm looped around Jiyeong's shoulders, a pretty smile on her face, you frown.

"Go up," Yoongi just says. "I'll sort it. First room on the left. Door's open."

You do as you're told - only realising quite how drunk you are when you stand. Walking straight is never your strong point after a few drinks, but you've been sitting for so long that you didn't realise quite how bad it was.

The room Yoongi directed you to is quaint - a small bed, not quite a double, is snug against the window. All of the furniture is carved from the same wood, and you know instantly that Yoongi must have made every single piece of it. It's impressive. Commendable. You understand why Seoyeon is so smitten. There's something to be said for a man who has mastered his craft. Maybe that's why you like seeing Jeongguk behind the bar so much.

A thin box lays on top of the white quilt, denting it from the weight. You check it over. Open it up. Pout. It's perfect .

Crafted by Yoongi, a dark walnut cutting board engraved with Jeongguk's name sits perfectly in the box, a thin layer of tissue paper beneath it. One edge has the natural shape of the wood running up it, while the rest have been sanded to a gorgeous curve. In the bottom corner, Yoongi's logo - his own name - is branded into the wood. It's gorgeous. One of a kind.

After visiting Yoongi's studio together, and seeing Jeongguk delicately run his fingers along similar ones, an idea had brewed in your head. Thought it was apt, knowing he wants his own samgyeopsal place.

You've barely managed to close it again when you hear a small knock on the open door.

Turning, you're greeted by your favourite person, and you can't even hide your smile. He can't hide his, either. His oversized shirt is tied around his neck by the sleeves, as if he's wearing a cape. You think he's ridiculous and it makes you giggle.

"What?" he beams - 'cause he can't suppress his smiles, either. Has been holding them in all evening, but now it's just the pair of you, he can finally indulge.

Yoongi had pulled him to the side. Told Jiyeong he needed to borrow him quickly. Followed Jeongguk upstairs, but went to the bathroom instead. Told Jeongguk to go to the spare room.

Maybe the deceit isn't ideal, but it's for a good cause, Yoongi thinks. Would do it again, no questions asked. Thinks that this is worthy of breaking Seoyeon's 'no gifts other than secret santa' rule.

"Have I been lured here under false pretences?" He speaks quietly, moving a little closer, tapping against the door to push it nearly shut. It's ajar, but only just.

"Maybe," you whisper back. Take a step closer. He holds his hands out, palms up, for you to gently slap yours against his. The contact is innocent. He just misses being tactile with you.

"Maybe?" He raises his brows, tilting his head slightly. His eyes narrow, smile persisting, a small laugh stuttering between his lips as his nose begins to scrunch. He's as drunk as he is handsome.

"Maybe," you nod, before looking over to the box on the bed. "Santa's been."

Jeongguk still his hands. Holds yours a little. Pretends he isn't.

"For me?"

"Mhmm," you nod, pulling your palms from his grasp, reaching over for it. "Here."

He takes it slowly. Is apprehensive. It makes you laugh. Says nothing as he eases the lid off the box - then stops moving entirely as he realises exactly what it is.

"For the restaurant," you say softly, a nervous smile on your lips. Eyes wide, you can't fully work out what he's thinking. "When you finally open it. I know wooden chopping boards aren't, like, health and safety approved, but I wasn't really thinking about that when I decided to get you one, so I'll buy a new set when the time comes-"

"No," Jeongguk shakes his head. Finally looks up at you. Looks like he might cry. "No, this is perfect. Perfect . B, what the fuck?"

And then he laughs. Chokes a little, because he really is trying to hold back the fact he feels like he'll cry. Holds the board in one hand, and uses the other to pull you in for a hug so warm that it feels like you're being engulfed by a thousand flames.

You've always believed in his dreams with reckless abandon. Have never doubted him. Know that one day you'll be drinking purple starfuckers after hours at the bar of his very own samgyeopsal place. You will . You're sure of it.

And while Jeongguk's always quietly hoped that he'd be able to achieve his dreams, he's never had someone enthuse about it in the way that you do. Never had someone absolutely certain that his dreams would play an active role in their own reality.

But you do.

So he sets the cutting board gently down on the bed and fully wraps his arms around you. Hugs you because he doesn't know how else to convey the way it makes him feel. Appreciative? Maybe. But it's more than that. More than delight, contentedness, gratefulness. He's experiencing all of those things, but they're too simple for such a complex feeling.

"Perfect," he whispers against the side of your head. "So fucking perfect."

He doesn't clarify that he's talking about the cutting board. Doesn't think he needs to. Also knows he not talking about the board at all, but knows better than to admit that.

"I'm glad you like it," you smile against his chest, then pull away from the hug. "Just thought maybe you should start gathering your resources, yanno?"

It's a lie. You just wanted to get him a gift.

He picks it up again and traces the grooves, fingers tenderly drawing over the wood grain. Studies it, because he knows if he looks at you again, he won't be able to make sensible choices.

"I love it."

"Pretty, isn't it?" You grin, watching his hands delicately feel their way around the board.

He looks up at you briefly. His eyes linger, then fall back to his hands.

"Yeah," he smiles. "Very pretty."

You let him study it for a little longer, before encouraging him downstairs. You tell him everyone will be wondering where he is. You think they really will. Think he's the life and the soul. Fail to realise just because he's the person you're always focused on, doesn't mean that everyone else is.

"Wait," he says as you reach the top of the stairs, the board tucked beneath his arm.

"Mhmm?"

"Thank you."

"It's fine," you smile - but Jeongguk looks serious all of a sudden.

"I mean it, Byeol. You don't... This is..." he struggles to find the words, so just laughs. "I'm so glad to know you."

You can't help the smile that breaks on your face, like a shooting star in the darkest of nights. Your glitter reflects the warm light pooling from up the stairs, and Jeongguk realises he's missed you far too much.

"Knowing you is okay," you tease, before ushering him downstairs. "C'mon. Seoyeon was talking about playing a game just before we headed up. Don't wanna miss the fun."

You're also aware you've been away for a little too long. Know that Jiyeong will probably start getting antsy. You know in her position, you probably would feel the exact same, and you don't want to make life difficult for anyone.

"You go first," you encourage. "I'll follow in a moment."

He does as he's told, while you head to the bathroom and freshen yourself off. Wipe the glitter that trails down your cheek when you fail to compose yourself and find a tear falling. There's no reason to cry. Everything went well - but maybe that's reason enough. Maybe you were reminded of how good things were before you fucked them all up, by insisting on Jeongguk following through with that damn bird.

When you finally return, everyone is in good spirits. The night continues as such. Jeongguk and Jiyeong leave first, with Jimin joining their taxi because it just makes sense. Part of you revels in satisfaction when you hear Jeongguk state there'll two drops to the ride: Jiyeong's place, then back to his place for him and Jimin.

You catch a cab with Tae and Nabi a little while later, though you're sure in the morning you'll forget all about it. Will forget most of the evening, most probably. You're fucked. Nabi's mission? Accomplished - but she's just as bad as you are. Throws up in her bag in the back of the Taxi.

As you eventually meander up the corridor to your apartment, a small sense of dread swells in the pit of your stomach.

Much like the evening of Taehyung's art show, there are flowers by your door.

They're different, this time. Out of season, you think. Oranges and purples you'd expect to see in the warmth of early summer, not in the barren cold of winter - but they're familiar. A small bunch. Expensive because of the time of year, but minimal compared to the obnoxious roses you'd been greeted with before.

You're getting pretty good at mental gymnastics. Tell yourself maybe Seokjin fancied doing something a little different this time. There's no calling card, from what you can see - just a small box wrapped in brown paper and sealed shut with washi tape.

For some reason, you find yourself cursing when you notice the small detail, because you know exactly where you recognise it from. Your heart grows heavy, lips pressing together to suppress a pout.

See, Jeongguk had been lying about the traffic.

He was late because he had to drop by yours before heading up to Yoongi's place. Didn't want Jiyeong to ask questions, so went to yours before he got her, but also wanted to make sure you'd left your place first. Has Jimin on his friend finder app, so stalked him like a little creep to make sure nothing would overlap.

He's not too sure why.

When you pick the flowers up, you find yourself cradling them, almost. Far more care is taken than there was with the roses. These are more precious, you think - and yet you set them down on the counter first, and don't bother to sort the vase out.

Instead, you slide your thumb under a loose section of paper, gently prizing away the washi tape from the brown paper.

The box itself is no bigger than your palm. White once you remove the earthy-toned packaging, it's embossed with a small silver stamp of a company you've never heard of.

Nervousness finds its home in your diaphragm for no good reason. Delicately opening the box, you're greeted first by a small card. It's handwritten, unlike the ones that so often come with flowers from Seokjin.

But of course it is. Everything about Jeongguk is far more intimate. It's innate. Just who he is as a person. S'why he was so good with those pesky fears of yours.

When you finally start to read the note, you realise your vision is a little blurred from tiny tears making their presence known. You're not crying. Not really. Just a little emotional. You blame it on the vodka.

for the wind beneath my wings, and the washi tape that holds my fears safe.

what would i do without you?

keep on shining, disco ball x

Beneath the note sits a dainty silver chain. Resting prettily on the cushioned padding of the box is a small charm: an ornate silver origami bird.

You're not sure why, but you really do start crying, now. The tears fall silently, and speckle the countertop with tiny splashes, but you don't care to wipe them away.

In your back pocket, your phone vibrates. A picture sent from Jeongguk waits in your message feed.

Across town, he stands in his dimly lit kitchen, a glass of red in his hand as he leans back against the kitchen island. The chopping board is hung next to the stovetop, where a pot usually lives, but Jeongguk has hidden it away in the cupboard. Thinks Yoongi's handiwork deserves to be displayed - and he's right. The dark walnut wood looks gorgeous against the backsplash of his kitchen.

The picture sent to you is of his view, and he's pleased to feel his phone vibrate in his own back pocket just a few minutes later.

You reply with a picture, too.

It's of his gift card, with a hastily scribbled reply over the top of the photograph. You often annotate the pictures you send him, and it always makes him smile - but this time, he really does laugh.

Next to his question - what would i do without you? - your hot pink digital handwriting replies: idk - die, probably.

And then a second message pings through - a selfie, taken in the mirror.

Your hair is down, slightly kinked in places from your up-do, but ever so elegant as it drapes over your shoulder. Your roots are well and truly growing through now, and it makes Jeongguk smile. So much progress has been made. It's nice to see a physical representation of that.

Your eyes are a little bleary, but it could just be the alcohol, he thinks. Chooses to ignore the fact your nose is slightly blushed, too.

Tiny speckles of glitter catch the light all over your skin - your eyes, your cheeks, your throat, the top of your chest. Again, he ignores the fact you're without the clothes you had been wearing. There are still straps over your shoulders, but he knows you well. Knows you're in your underwear. Recognises the bra. Has taken it off you before.

Nothing is on show, but nothing needs to be. He's visualising it regardless. Hates himself for it, but can't seem to stop.

In fact, the only thing that does avert his attention is the silver pendant around your neck. It sits prettily a few inches above your cleavage, perfectly adorning you like fine jewellery should.

It's not like it was unreasonably expensive - just sterling silver - but something about it feels priceless. To him. To you. To the friendship you've cultivated and the lives you both lead; forever changed by a couple of purple starfuckers and a few bad decisions.

Something tells me this one won't fall, your caption reads.

Jeongguk purses his lips together. Looks at the chopping board. Shakes his head. Doesn't know how to reply.

So instead, he tries honesty.

You look beautiful.

The message sits in his side of the chat, unsent. He knows the compliment is too heavy. Doesn't matter if it's true or not. So he rephrases, and presses send on something else.

Jeongguk: suits you, b

Of course it does. Was chosen for you by someone who knows you better than you know yourself.

You: best friend in the whole entire world x

You: what would I do without you?

Jeongguk smirks to himself. Doesn't even think as he types.

Jeongguk: die, probably

Your reply makes his smile grow even wider.

You: till death do us part ;)

He knows he shouldn't find such comfort in the joke you've just sent, he can't help it.

Jeongguk knows you'll be away visiting family over the next few days, just like he is. Knows that he won't hear from you much. Understands why. Doesn't mean he enjoys the prospect of it.

He considers inviting you around, now.

But it's Christmas morning, albeit very early and he knows the implications of such a thing. He wouldn't mean anything by it, he's just missed you. Missed hanging out with you.

But he invested himself in someone else because of the investment he made in you, and the birds. He has expectations to live up to. Doesn't wanna let you down.

Neither of you sleep as well as you should. Life was easier as a kid, the excitement of Father Christmas visiting enough to wipe you out entirely. Even the alcohol isn't enough to lull you into a peaceful equilibrium.

Instead, Jeongguk stares at the birds on his ceiling. You twiddle with the bird around your neck.

It's apparent that neither of you will be waking up to the gifts you really want beneath your trees - and you've only got yourselves to blame.

Merry fuckin' Christmas.

AO3 | MASTERLIST | MINORS DNI

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jcbbby · 2 years

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can you write something with jamie where y/n is pregnant and she’s at a jamie’s family dinner and she received some comments about how big her belly is compared to the other women, so she refused the chocolate cake dessert and jamie follows her after the dinner in the kitchen, seeing her crying and stuff ?

Okay first of all, my first request heyoooo! :) I'm not sure if I'll start taking requests on the regular, I don't often have a lot of time to write sadly. But THIS hits close to home. Oooooh boy does this hit close to home. Full disclosure, I've been in recovery from an eating disorder for years, and it's something I still struggle with. So this struck a chord with me and I liked the idea of Jamie being just hella supportive about his partner's insecurities and making them feel better. I had to write this one lol. Thank you for this prompt!

I hope you enjoy!

**************************************

Growing and Glowing

You're very pregnant with Jamie and yours' first child. You've been feeling insecure about your pregnancy weight gain, and struggle at a family dinner. Jamie takes notice and tells you just how beautiful you are and always will be to him.

****************************************

You stood in front of your mirror in your bedroom, looking over yourself after getting dressed. You were getting ready for dinner over at Jamie’s parents’ house with his family for his brother Sam’s birthday. You sighed and frowned as you messed with the hang of the dress you had chosen to wear. Your 8 months pregnant bump was prominent on your once smaller figure.

“What’s the matter, love?” Jamie asked, walking out from the bathroom shirtless, rubbing his wet hair with a towel.

“Nothing…I just feel like a gross blimp.” You rubbed your belly.

“Darling…” Jamie said, his tone sounding sad, coming up to hug you from behind, wrapping his arms around where yours were on your bump.

You looked at him in the mirror. “The clothes I bought last week don’t fit now. And my boss was talking about how much bigger I am now than she was the day she gave birth.”

“Baby, you look as beautiful as ever, forget the clothes, forget those comments. You’re a goddess, a goddamn glowing goddess.” He planted kisses starting from your neck, working his way up to your cheek.

You giggled as his lips tickled you.

“There's a smile! Let me just grab a shirt and we can head out.” He gave one more peck to your cheek as he turned to the closet.

On the drive over, Jamie held one hand on the wheel with the other stretched across the center console to hold your hand. He always held your hand while driving. It was little things like that that meant so much to you. 5 years of being together, and he still did these little things as if you were perpetually in the honeymoon phase.

Jamie pulled the car up to the curb outside of his parents’ home. You both ascended the steps to the front door and Jamie rang their doorbell, exchanging a quick smile to each other. The door swung open as Jamie’s mother excitedly let you in. She immediately went to hug Jamie, and then turned to bring you into a hug. She pulled you to arm’s length and looked you up and down.

“Oh my, look at how big you’ve gotten! Won’t be long now, huh? How are you feeling, dear?” Jamie’s mum asked, smiling so wide.

“Oh uh…feeling okay. You know, just excited to finally meet the little guy.” You smiled sheepishly, placing a hand on your bump, her words about your size echoing still.

“Where’s the birthday boy?” Jamie inserted himself into the conversation.

“Oh, him and dad are in the living room watching a movie. Dinner’s all ready, if you can just help me set the table, J? Y/N, why don’t you go and join them and get off your feet.” She smiled.

You smiled back. Jamie placed a hand on your back as you exchanged small smiles to each other. You went into the living room and said hello to Jamie’s dad and happy birthday to Sam. They both got up to give you a hug, before settling back down into their respective chairs. You heard the clanking of plates and silverware from the other room as the table was being set. It didn’t take too long before Jamie’s mother called you all into the dining area for the meal. You walked over to a chair as Jamie pulled it out for you to sit in before taking his place next to you.

Dinner was nice, and conversation was light and fun. Jamie’s dad then asked how long now until the baby was born.

“Oh, just about 4 or 5 more weeks probably.” You looked to Jamie and smiled to each other.

“You look about ready to pop any moment!” Jamie’s dad chuckled.

“Yeah, you know it’s funny, the neighbor’s daughter, she barely showed the whole time. You would have thought she just had too much to eat maybe!” Jamie’s mum laughed as she took a bite.

You gave a half-hearted smile, staring down at your plate. You scraped some potatoes around with your fork as the conversation went on. Suddenly, you no longer had an appetite.

“You sure it’s not twins?” Sam asked, smirking.

“Nope. Just one baby, guys. You know, every body is different.” Jamie said, sitting up straight in his chair.

You put your fork down on your half-eaten plate and went to take a sip of water. You cleared your throat after swallowing, feeling the knot starting to form and your face getting hot. Jamie sensed your discomfort and discreetly reached his hand over to your thigh under the table, giving a light squeeze in support, before going back to his meal in front of him.

The conversation turned to a different topic after that. You sat staring at your plate as the rest of the table finished theirs. Jamie took both of your plates into the kitchen, as his mother took the other 3. After a moment, they walked back in to the dining area, Jamie’s mom holding a small cake with a few candles on it.

“And of course,” Jamie’s mum chimed. “We have chocolate cake for Sammy! Haaaappy birthday to you…” She began to sing, and everyone soon joined in, to Sam’s annoyance.

She placed the cake down, and you stared at it as Sam blew out his candles. Usually, you’d be excited for cake on any occasion, but all the comments about your pregnancy weight gain were running through your head and making you more upset by the second. Jamie’s dad begun slicing up the cake and passing out pieces around the table.

“Y/N, how big would you like yours?” He asked, looking at you.

“I um…I think I’m going to pass on it. I’m actually not really feeling that well at the moment. Excuse me.” You said, pushing your chair back, bringing your hand behind your back for support as you stood up and walked out of the room.

You walked into the kitchen, tears already starting to run over your cheeks. You trembled as you tried not to audibly cry and draw attention to yourself. You knew they didn’t mean any harm by their comments, or maybe even knew the power that they had, but you still couldn’t help but feel devastated. Before getting pregnant, you were generally fit. You ran a few times a week and hit the gym too. Your mind wandered, wondering if you could ever get back to your pre-pregnancy body. You worried that Jamie would stop being attracted to you. You leaned against the counter, wiping your face.

“I’ll be right back, I’m just going to go check on her.” You heard Jamie’s faint voice from the other room say.

His footsteps echoed as he came into the kitchen with you. You looked over at him, eyes and face reddened. His pace quickened as he stepped up to you and wrapped you in a tight embrace.

“Darling, are you alright?” He asked, stroking the back of your hair.

You sniffled. “I’m sorry, baby.”

“Sorry? What on earth are you sorry for?” He asked, rubbing your back.

“I’m sorry I’ve let myself go. Even your family noticed too.” You took in a shaky breath, wiping another tear away.

“Oh, sweetheart, no. No, they didn’t mean anything like that. You know my parents; they’ve got no filter! Please don’t let that upset you like this.” He brought his hand to your cheek and caressed just under your cheek bone.

“I just…I feel so poorly about myself. It’s been really hard these last few weeks. I knew I would gain weight, but I just didn’t expect to feel this bad about it.” You looked down at your feet.

“Baby, look at me.” He brought a finger to your chin so that your eyes could meet. “Listen, you are beautiful. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever been lucky enough to lay eyes on. Your body is always and will always be beautiful. And you know what? Your body is doing a the most beautiful thing right now; it is growing our child and keeping him safe. And soon, it will bring that beautiful boy into the world and into our lives. You are gorgeous, and glowing, and I would not want anything any other way right now. I love you, always, Y/N.”

You smiled as more tears spilled over, but this time due to gratitude. Jamie placed a hand on the back of your head, pushing it forward to meet his lips to your forehead.

“I love you too, J.” You smile. “Thank you.”

“Now, why don’t we go back in there.” He held out his hand to lead you back towards his family.

Sitting down at the table, Jamie’s family spoke all at once asking how you were doing now. “I’m feeling much, much better.” You smiled over at Jamie. “And you know, I think the baby would really like a slice of cake.”

#jamie campbell bower imagine #jamie campbell bower #jamie campbell bower x you #jamie campbell bower x reader #jamie bower

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golden--doodler · 8 months

Text

This post was long overdue! I can’t believe I haven’t done this sooner, but here’s part two of the very first post I made on this lovely site, random Bob’s Burgers facts that no one asked for but I’m sharing/reminding everyone of because I can:

—Apparently, when Gene was a toddler, Bob had to watch him, and he somehow managed to eat a fern under Bob’s watch. Where did this fern come from? Who knows? ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯ Bob was very worried and thought Gene would die or get really sick, but he was fine. Gene has an iron stomach for real. This tidbit is as mentioned in Season 3, Episode 15, O.T. The Outside Toilet.

—Gene is the only Belcher with visible ears, and they’re adorable 🥰 I still don’t know how Bob’s hair manages to completely cover his, but it does.

—Real life fact, but 9/3 is not only Bob and Linda’s anniversary, but also Loren Bouchard and his wife’s anniversary! That’s where he got the date from. How adorable.

—Linda’s birthday is June 3, making her a Gemini. Tina’s birthday is March 30, making her an Aries. Gene is a Sagittarius, making his birthday sometime in either late November or December. I like to say his birthday is December 19, because that’s one of my friend’s birthdays :3

—Linda’s high school was called Cardinal Genarro High School, and one time, there was a pumpkin carving contest. Linda didn’t want Gayle to feel bad for losing to Linda’s amazing pumpkin, so she tried smashing her own pumpkin. Gayle followed her, though, and because of a series of events, they ended up destroying the entire table, which they swore to keep secret until well into adulthood (Season 12, Episode 3, The Pumpkinening).

—Linda’s hometown is a made-up town called Hunkawtaway.

—Linda once had Jury Duty on St. Patrick’s Day and wore a green blazer to court.

—Tina’s favorite flowers are Gardenias, as revealed in Season 5, Episode 11, Can’t Buy Me Math.

—Tina owns cat pajamas as seen in Season 4, Episode 9, Slumber Party, and that’s very important to me.

—Gene has brown eyes, which he most likely inherited from Bob. In the comics, Tina’s eye color is revealed to be blue, which she might have inherited from Linda.

—According to Gene in Season 11, Episode 2, Worms of In-Rear-Ment, Louise has always wanted to see Machu Pichu.

—Louise has apparently seen “Game of Thrones”. I wonder what she thought of it. Funnily enough, in the Season 4 Wharf Horse two-part season finale, Bob mourned the fact that he’d never find out how the show ended.

—As seen in Season 11, Episode 14, Mr. Lonely Farts, Gene normally hates being alone and thrives off the energy of other people. My poor boy had a whole panic attack when he was accidentally left home alone. However, he ends up using the opportunity to do a rave in Louise’s room with all of her toys, which she usually tells him not to do. It’s also revealed in that episode that Linda has a secret cracker stash, which he infiltrates.

—According to Season 13, Episode 18, Gift Card or Buy Trying, Gene might not like himself a whole lot. He rants about his former friend, Mitchell, saying that he’s loud, can’t really play music, and has no idea how annoying he is, and then comes to a realization, saying they’re exactly the same, so those things might be how he views himself.

—In Season 13, Episode 21, Mother Author Laser Pointer, it’s shown that Bob and Linda used to read Snail & Newt books to the kids when they were young, which is based off the real life Frog & Toad series. It’s so sweet they did this T_T

—Teddy’s favorite color is yellow! Mine is too :D This was revealed in Season 4, Episode 16, I Get Psy-Chic Out of You.

—Teddy’s full name might be Theodore J. McGillicuddy.

—Jimmy Pesto called Jimmy Jr. “Pepper” as a nickname in Season 1, Episode 10, Burger War, a nickname that’s not been repeated since.

—According to Season 3, Episode 20, The Kids Run the Restaurant, Mr. Fischoeder was married for a week. He had a real Grunkle Stan moment.

—As seen in Season 9, Episode 19, Long Time Listener, First Time Bob, Bob loved listening to a radio station with a DJ named Clem when he and Linda first started getting the restaurant off the ground. I think Bob listening to the radio at night and jamming out is very endearing. The same episode also revealed Bob’s hatred for Sweet Potato Fries.

—In Season 9, Episode 16, Roamin’ Bob-Iday, it’s revealed Bob occasionally succumbs to severe burnout from working at the restaurant, but despite that, cooking will always be his favorite thing to do.

—As revealed in Season 7, Episode 7, The Last Gingerbread House on the Left, Bob used to build gingerbread houses with his late mother, Lily. In the same episode, he made mini gingerbread versions of his family, which is the cutest thing ever. He’s the best dad for real.

#bobs burgers #this was so much fun!#i’ve been wanting to make a part two of that post for so long #i tried my best to say some niche or more interesting facts that most wouldn’t know right away #i think the gingerbread fact is my favorite 🥲#i hope you guys enjoy reading these facts as much as i enjoyed writing them

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hunterwritesstuff · 1 month

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Platonic Alison and Tom being parents to reader? (GN reader, and like general headcanons if that’s okay?)

Of course!

General hcs:

🔧🎙️ They're loving to each other!

🔧🎙️ Allison can cook, Tom can cook too but with varying degrees of success!

🔧🎙️ Allison carries Tom. He has no say in the matter.

🔧🎙️ They have a dog! Her name is Peaches and she's one of those ratty old white dogs!

🔧🎙️ Allison typically makes breakfast! Tom tries to make breakfast on her birthday though <3

🔧🎙️ Hobby-wise, Allison knits, Tom works on his truck.(PLEASE ASK HIM ABOUT IT /j)

🔧🎙️ Allison wonders why Tom comes home from work sad somedays. She doesn't understand...why does he just go to bed somedays when he comes home?

🔧🎙️ Allison always waits for Tom to wake up before getting out of bed. She hates seeing him freak out and scream for her, asking if she "finally left" him. :(

Parenting hcs:

🔧🎙️ When they became your parents, they were fucking ecSTATIC.

🔧🎙️ Tom's always wanted to be a dad(not gonna go too deep into it, but I hc that HIS dad was super like. emotionally distant and just distant in general, so he wanted to be what he never got), so he does his damned best for you.

🔧🎙️ Allison does her best to fill the mother role, making sure you always feel listened to because of how wacky Tom's work hours are.

🔧🎙️ Tom teaches you basic stuff you need to know for hands-on times in life(how to fix up a car, how to repair shit, stuff like that), and Allison teaches you how to repair clothing, cook, ect!

🔧🎙️ Tom loves you, but not enough to protect you from pet duty. He tosses taking Peaches out for walks onto you most nights. "Go...take the old hiccupper out for a walk...please...if she barks anymore, my head is gonna split in two..."

🔧🎙️ Tom will take time out of his day to fucking call you to make sure you're fucking eating. If you haven't been, grab a chair, because he's lecturing you for about an hour.

🔧🎙️ Allison is softer about it, giving you something she knows you'll eat before leaving you be. Tom worries that this won't get the point across, but soon enough, it does.

Hope ya enjoy! :D

#thomas connor and child reader #thomas connor #batim #the ink demon #bendy #bendy fan art #bendy the demon #bendy and the dark revival #batim bendy #batim au #batim fanart #batim and reader #allison pendle and child reader #allison pendle #bendy and the ink machine #batdr

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boilompiz · 8 months

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Dragon oc rambles part 1 - Krovin!!!

Welp it’s about to be my birthday in like two days so it’s probably about time I post this next ramble DBFJFJ sorry again that this took forever ive been grinding on Pokémon Violet/j

Anyways Krovin

Strange Homosexual man‼️🇺🇸

a helper around the refugee camp area ig! He helps with food stuff mostly but occasionally helps with like medical stuff n all that jazz,, when he’s not doing that he’s just kinda helping individuals with whatever they may need

YET this man refuses to care for himself in the slightest like sir please sleep for more than 3 hours☹️‼️

He constantly busies himself by helping around the camp however he can when he can because,, well I mean people are losing their homes and families and it’s just a BAD TIME.

So if he can help people and make it so life is SLIGHTLY less shitty then he’s doing good,, and he’ll feel selfish and awful if he stops take care about himself for even a minute

He gets it from his childhood 😁😁 yeah I know an OC with a troubling childhood !! Who coulda seen this coming!

Basically his mother had lost her first son before having Krovin which was already bad enough,, and then her husband went and died after getting caught up in a fight during this one dragon civil war typa conflict,, as you can imagine her mental state kinda went down the drain <33

She wouldn’t leave her bed,, she wouldn’t eat, she kinda just let herself rot away in her room for like several weeks,, eventually Krovin decided to try and take care of her FOR her, so starting when he was around 13-14 all the way up until he was like 26 maybe, he’d make food, he’d make sure she bathed, he’d try to help with her all mental issues and grief and all that jazz

He even started helping around town for some extra money ‼️🔥🔥💰💰🗣 yknow to buy more food and stuff,,

No matter what Krovin did though his mom just couldn’t seem to get better,, mentally at least. Even after years and years of him trying to help her she couldn’t move on

So yeah not a good time for Krovin

Eventually his mother died from a sickness plus her age in her sleep,, which Krovin ended up blaming himself for

Did he not try hard enough? Should he have done more? Maybe he should’ve gotten more money to afford medicine ,, maybe he should’ve BEEN A BETTER SON 🗣🗣🗣🗣 sorry I love that song/j

But yeah all of that is kinda why Krovin refuses to take time to properly care for himself,, he had this mindset that if he didn’t give the whole world for someone he cares for, they’d leave, disappear, say byebye or something like that!!!!!! He’s a lil messed up!!! Traumatized man☹️☹️

Anyways when the whole unicorn takeover thing happened he volunteered to help around and stuff, he hit the jackpot with this one/J

This is when he met Norva. She’d frequently turn up with them dragon refugees and occasionally visit from time to time,, checking in on everyone n all. Krovin liked that she was strong and brave, but was also real damn upset that such a young gal had to go through this situation with everyone else,, and she actually reminded him of when he cared for his mom and that like, REALLY upset him

So during one of her visits he’d approached her and they got to talking and soon became besties ‼️‼️

As I said Krovin admired her strength and bravery, and she appreciated his help around camp,, so yeah they became pretty close. Fatherless gang!!!!/J

And that’s all I have to say about Krovin for now sorry this was such a long ramble OUGH he’s just really neat to me,, dad figure man!!!! Who doesn’t love those dad figures am I right

Anyways next ramble will be forrrrr Treya! Hopefully his ramble will come out quicker this time RDHFGCU

#dragons #dragon oc #oc #oc story #oc rambling #saviors of vanriah #krovin #he’s so messed up ^_^#punches him <3/j #Norva replacement dad/j #don’t worry he learns to care for himself eventually #if you were even worried about that!#his backstory was actually kinda inspired by The Old Sugarman Place from Bojack Horseman #blehg anyways bye !!!!4)3&:&:! I’m tired of typing

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sokkas-first-fangirl · 2 years

Text

@mmollymercury Some Freela for the soul 💕

Fry was usually a terrible secret-keeper. Hell, the entire crew couldn’t keep a secret (especially Zoidberg), so Leela was surprised to realise everyone had been in on the proposal.

They arrived back at Planet Express, only to be met by their expectant, excited friends. Amy took one look at Leela’s ring and whooped in glee.

“Yes!” she screamed. “I knew it; I told you she’d say yes!”

“I needed reassurance!” Fry protested. “I was nervous, okay?”

Their friends had actually put together a celebratory dinner, complete with a cake. It was noticeably a birthday cake and Hermes wiped away the word ‘Birthday,’ with his thumb and a sheepish grin when Leela caught his eye. A little gross, but nothing compared to the way Zoidberg was drooling.

One member of the crew however, did not cheer or scramble to be the first to open the bottle of champagne: Bender.

“Oh I see how it is,” he said loudly, throwing his hands up. “You come here into my home-”

“This is the office,” Amy said.

“Making goo-goo eyes at my meatbag-”

“Say what?” Fry asked.

“And propose to him without my blessing!”

“Bender, I proposed!” Fry protested. “You knew I was going to! You literally helped me plan it! Remember, you brought me the transcript for the third proposal from All My Circuits?”

“Which you rejected,” Bender said snootily. He pointed at Leela accusingly. “You think you can just steal away my meatbag without permission? What is this, the Twentieth Century? We have integrity around here!”

“Hey!” (Fry’s cry of protest was once more ignored.)

“I didn’t even think Bender knew what integrity meant,” Cubert muttered. Hermes hushed him.

A part of Leela wanted to say that Bender was being his usual, dramatic self. He was just being a jerk and messing around. If Leela actually asked for his so-called blessing, he’d just laugh and chug the entire bottle of champagne to himself, and then they could all celebrate.

But at the same time...This was Bender. Bender, who would proudly proclaim “Kill all humans!” before glancing at Fry and quietly adding, “Except one.” Bender, who threw himself into a pit of lava to get Seymour’s fossil, upon realising he’d genuinely made Fry cry.

During that fiasco with the mysterious music cracking the Earth (who knew Nibblonian hover-cars were so loud?) and Nixon snapped at Fry, “Your mother’s been dead for hundreds of years! Get over it!” Leela’s first, instinctive thought had been, I’m going to kill the President.

She told Bender and he’d looked at her like she was an idiot. “Well duh,” he drawled. “I thought the same thing.”

Then he planted a bomb in the President’s hover-car.

It turned out to be a glitter bomb, not a real bomb. Bender had been furious over the wasted money and equally furious over how quiet and withdrawn Fry had been.

So maybe it wasn’t entirely a joke.

Well, what did Leela have to lose? Dignity hardly mattered around here and she could live with Bender gloating.

With a small, weary sigh, she dropped to one knee. She even held both hands to her heart, giving Bender a pitiful stare.

Even Bender looked surprised. She’d relish that.

“Bender Bending Rodriguez,” Leela said in her best exaggerated tone of voice. “I hereby ask your blessing to marry Philip J. Fry, your meatbag.” Hey, Leela could be dramatic too.

For a moment, everyone was silent (bar Amy’s little giggle) and Bender continued to stare at her.

Then he sniffled.

“Bender, are you crying?” Fry asked in awe.

“No!” Bender snapped. “There’s just dust in my eye! What do I look like, Zoidberg?”

Indeed, Zoidberg was crying.

But so was Bender.

“Aw, get up,” he grumbled, rubbing his neck and not quite looking at Leela. “Stupid human- er, mutant.”

Grinning, Leela got to her feet, linking her arm with Fry’s.

“...Okay, fine,” Bender said. He turned away, but Leela still saw him wipe his eyes and heard his voice crack. “I guess you’ll do.”

#freela #fry x leela #fry/leela #philip j fry #turanga leela #bender bending rodriguez #amy wong #hermes conrad #dr zoidberg #professor hubert farnsworth #cubert farnsworth #futurama #futurama fanfic #snippets #my writing #planet express #planet express crew #i love them your honour

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slickshoesareyoucrazy · 9 months

Text

Reminding Me of Me

The past several weeks have been filled with a lot of uninvited family drama involving and basically created by my brother and his wife. J and I have been unfortunately and a bit involuntarily recruited to help subdue this drama. Of course, I don't want my brother's life to be unhappy and complicated, and J and I want to help alleviate those things when and if we can, but this suffering is almost entirely self inflicted. It's been very frustrating, especially considering the solid historical pattern of my parents using me to make my brother's life easier/better, and the historical pattern of all of them overlooking and dismissing me and taking me for granted. As I told a friend privately earlier this week, since my brother has been born, I've always been called upon to serve him or ignored in his favor.

My brother was born, and when he was 3 months old (I was 11.5), my grandmother, the person I was closest to in life to that point, passed away. In addition to the obvious, practically debilitating grief, I was also forced to leave the school district I'd grown up in to attend middle school somewhere more convenient for my parents (but mostly because of my brother). I didn't get much if any emotional support for any of this, because my brother was a newborn, and he outranked me. I became my brother's surrogate mother almost immediately. My mom worked 60-80 hour weeks, and when my dad went to work (once I was out of middle/high school for the day) to his second shift job, I was left solely in charge of my brother until my mom got home from her supposedly first shift job (but she regularly worked 12 hour shifts 5 days a week and some weekends, and brought work home with her too). I sacrificed a lot of social life opportunities and even one academic opportunity in order to fulfill the responsibility of caring for my brother. I attended a local college to continue doing this. I left my first job early if my brother had an emergency or if he needed to be checked on; not my parents. When I was a new mother, after a previous traumatic pregnancy loss, my parents didn't give me much support because that's when my brother was graduating high school and starting college, and he needed them then. More than I did, they presumed. On my 40th birthday, my brother moved in with his girlfriend (now his wife). We all spent the day (and were expected to spend the day) packing boxes and moving furniture for them. No one really even acknowledged that it was my birthday. This wasn't the first year my birthday was ignored, and it also wasn't the first year I was expected to cater to my brother's girlfriend (now wife) on my birthday. The year before that, I was told to change the restaurant and the time of day we'd go out as a family because 'she doesn't want to get ready that early for brunch.' When my brother got married, my mom cried at his wedding and his reception...she barely showed any sort of emotion at all at mine. My parents gave my brother a rehearsal dinner that was nicer than his wedding; helped do all of the 'wedding' stuff; were very involved. All they did for J's and my wedding was write a couple checks (that we cut as low as possible without offending people to be easier on them).

Now, I am getting ready to go back to work outside the home part time, for the first time in 10 years, and I have a minor surgical procedure coming up in a few days. My son just started 10th grade 2 days ago, and as everyone reading here probably knows, the start of 9th grade was nearly catastrophic to his mental health. My parents and my brother and his wife are aware (at least nominally) of all of these things. But the past several weeks have been spent solely focused on my brother and his needs instead (I know, big fucking surprise).

So I've been thinking the past couple weeks that I'm having flashbacks of living back at home with my parents, where I just don't even seem to matter, and my brother gets 100% of their care, support, and attention, and I'm expected to shift 100% of mine to him too. Over the past week or so, I've even asked J and my son questions like, 'You're real, right? Our life together is real? You're my real husband/son? We have a house and a dog, right? All of this is real, right?' Because I have to remind myself that I do exist, I do matter, I have built a life where I matter and am noticed and valued; a life separate from all those old expectations and shitty feelings of being ignored and overlooked and used. And last night, J and I went on a motorcycle ride while our son was with my parents, temporarily distracting them from the depressing and anxiety inducing concentration on my brother (my mom even admitted a few days ago that this is the first time in her life she's ever felt anxiety). J took me to the small town I spent my Pre-Brother childhood in. We visited with my godfather, probably the most consistently supportive adult presence in my life who's still alive. We only talked about our family and my godfather...not my brother at all. It was nice. We didn't do our normal 'date night' routine because of my upcoming surgery; in fact the date night wasn't our idea; it was my parents', because they 'needed' time with our son to like...have some stress free enjoyment and pride in their grandchild (for a change). But it was still a great date night. J helped remind me of me. That I am a person who matters, and me mattering is unrelated to my brother and my parents, and how I can be of service to them, or what their connection to or opinion of me is, in any way.

It felt really good to be reminded of me. I was a person of value and consequence before my brother came along. And I am a person of value and consequence now, in my own built life and my own family, without him. I'm me. And I matter. And it's sad that I have to remind myself of that still. But at least I can be reminded.

#lot of shit is going on right now #complicated emotional shit with my family #it's really exhausting #my writing

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mycptsdstory · 5 months

Text

Let's do a re-cap for this year, for me. Because it was an insane year.

Well, it started off with my family telling people I'm a peadophile, I hurt children and I've got a lengthy criminal record. I lost jobs, I lost friends and I thought I was gonna be homeless. I had to call the police because when I ordered food from my local takeaway, my neighbours were talking to them saying "I wouldn't trust her. She's a peadophile and hurts children". Then I had friends starting drama with me because they believed my family, even tho I didn't do anything wrong.

Role up to May, I visited America to see my fiancé, his family and my friends. I got engaged on my birthday. It was then I decided I wanted to move to America and never come back to England. It's just HOW. That's the issue. In my head, I got fed up with being stalked. I started to hate England even more.

I came back home, it's when people started to ignore me and want nothing to do with me. No drama, they just ignored me like I didn't exist. So after a while, I did the same thing with them. Then they said, I hurt them by me ignoring them... Okay 🥴

I was still losing friends, I had one friend who spread lies about me. Even tho she wanted my cat dead, she didn't like how I wanted to move to America. I vented to my therapist, found out she has been talking to my family, persuading me and fiancé to stay in England. (That didn't work lol). My therapist said "I don't like your friend J. Block her. She continues to stalk you, call the police". I haven't yet, but I will in the future.

Late August, still in deep depression, my family still causing me shit. The police got me into Cross Roads and they have been helping me a lot. I still continue to lose friends because people still believe my family. Then my fiancé came over to England and we watched AEW in London. It was a really good time and I needed a break. I felt safe in London.

My neighbour started acting weird around me. I think he's talking to my family. But no drama with him. His vibe and energy shifted slightly and I don't like that feeling.

Cross Roads got me into this design course that's not too far away from me. I've been creating fashion and learning to do an Expedition either in Sheffield or in London. We are planning to do an Expedition where I live in a very fancy hotel. Tbh, I'm super excited.

Then more and more people started to ignore me. No drama.

Rolled up to November, my best friend in England is acting all weird around me. Told me not to go to the wake, after the funeral, even tho I looked the memorial for her dead mother, everyone was allowed to go. So I went anyway. All her family loved me, but they hated J (go figure. And yes the same J that my therapist HATED).

I still headed up to the design course, I still love it up there. It's cold, but she has a wood fire. It's nice to sew and create fashion. It helps distract me from my family.

I saw my cousin, he was on drugs and acting erratic. Threatening anyone who looks at him weird and threatening children, he was gonna beat them up. Calling them a freak and so on. When they ran past me in fear, they were calling the police.

Rolled up to December, I thought an old drama situation from a decade ago was over. Nope. Found out, my so-called best friend told our friends I caused drama, because they all heard me and my mother argue, (when I was living with her at the time). She hid her stories on her IG when i told her I blocked everyone. When she hid her stories, I just blocked her. Tbh, she was a child and I haven't got time for people like that. Especially after this year. Do it once, I'm happy to cut you off. I know Al is still stalking my profile, (hi, how ya doin 😘).

I got my neck tattoo because after this year, FUCK IT. Y'all calling me a criminal, I'm gonna get a Corpse Bride butterfly tattoo, on my fucking neck. BECAUSE, WHY THE FUCK NOT. Straight after when I got my tattoo, I needed to pay the tattoo artist, so I head to the bank, but before I went to the bank. I treated myself to Costa Cafe, a hot chocolate and a small cake. I wasn't that hungry, but it was nice. I saw my cousin there, she kept telling her friend how my skin should be "pure" and having a neck tattoo is against the family rules. Her friend was confused and my cousin kept telling her, how I should "marry within the family. She should marry my cousin". Yeahh her friend thought the family rules were weird and her friend liked my tattoo. But my cousin wasn't having it because my uncle An wouldn't like it. (Fucking lol. My family can kiss my furry purple ass). Now she needs to tell the family and my family won't be happy because they have to disown me (fucking lol). It was that moment I knew I needed another tattoo on the other side of my neck. BECAUSE AFTER THIS FUCKING YEAR, WHY THE FUCK NOT. I walked up to my tattoo artist, gave him the money and walked back home. As I was walking home, I saw a family friend full on screaming and swearing at her children. I ignored her and just walked home. Nothing to do with me, I'm keeping my nose out of it. Now people have started to treat me with respect since I got the neck tattoo???? Like, wtf. This never happened. It was so fucking weird.

I think I lost that best friend whose mum died. My intuition started to kick in that J is spreading shit about me. So I just muted all of her profiles so I don't see what she's up too. If I don't hear from her again, I don't mind. I'm thinking of the worst case possible right now.

I still continue doing my design work. I've been experimenting and my teacher, she thinks I'm really talented. I've been doing so much fine detail work, it's been fun.

In all honesty, I FUCKING HATE IT HERE. Other than the design work. FUCK ENGLAND AND FUCK WHERE I LIVE. I FUCKING HATE IT HERE.

Anyone tells me otherwise, your suss. Just sayin.

I hope everyone had a better than me. It started off shit, still kinda shit. But at least people will leave me alone. Planning on getting another tattoo on the other side of my neck. BECAUSE WHY THE FUCK NOT. Y'all wanna treat me like I'm a criminal, I will be a criminal, by getting tattoos and me showing them off. Because fuck what other people think, I'm gonna do my own thing. Don't like it? Kiss my furry purple ass.

It's funny how, people thought I was conservative and "prim and proper" HA 🤣🤣

#year 2023 #what happened this year #2023 recap #2023 #cptsd #c ptsd

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su8arandspite · 3 months

Text

Babysitting Wars

Summary: Steve and Beth engage in a friendly competition for the title of best babysitter. Or, alternatively, the one where Steve uses a bet to his advantage.

steve harrington x female!oc

warnings and content: not much, fluff, short

A/N: this was something i wrote in 2018 so pls forgive me. but it's my birthday today so i am celebrating with a bit of stethany

word count: 1k

THE kids’ bikes raced in the direction of the arcade before Beth could even get a word in. With a heavy sigh, she set the cookie dough she’d been mixing down on the counter. Arms crossed over her chest, she whipped around to glare at the other teenager.

“Steve!”

Steve shuddered under the intensity of her gaze, a sheepish grin working its way across his lips. This side of her, usually reserved for when one of the kids stepped out of line, shocked him. While just last week he’d sniggered at the sight of her chewing out Mike Wheeler for an off-handedly sexist comment, Steve found no humor in the look on her face when directed at him.

“What’re you doing?” she scolded. “You heard what Joyce said; they’re meant to stay here.”

“It’s just for an hour,” he offered.

When her expression remained unchanged, he lifted his palms in surrender.

“I’m a damn good babysitter!”

“You don’t know the first thing about babysitting,” she said, brows cocked. “I bet you probably let them watch whatever movie they want because you believed them when they told you that their ‘mom said it was okay.’”

A giggled died in her throat at the guilty smile on his lips.

“Oh, my god!”

“Tell you what—why don’t we let those little shits—"

“Kids, Steve. They’re kids.”

“Yeah, Okay. Fine. Let the kids decide who’s the better babysitter.”

“Like a competition?”

“Yeah. If I win, you’re spending the entire weekend with me. No questions asked.”

“And if I win?”

“I’ll take you to see that Michael J. Fox movie for the 20th time, and I promise I won’t even tease you for drooling.”

“All right,” she smirked. “I’ll take that bet. Game on, Harrington.”

Beth’s competitive streak brought out a side of her Steve didn’t even know existed. While he figured she brought home all those cheerleading trophies for her team using more than that sweet smile of hers, he had no clue what he was really up against.

In a competition with no rules, Beth chose to get creative.

As she leaned in closer, reminiscent of the day that had officially marked the start of their friendship, the pad of her thumb wiped at his cheek, erasing an imaginary stain.

He gaped down at her, using whatever self-restraint he had left to keep from pulling her flush to him. Steve seemed to have trouble thinking of anything other than what her lips might taste like lately.

“Something a matter, Harrington?”

Feigning innocence, she chewed on her lower lip. Steve’s cheeks flushed a scarlet color, suddenly worried she could hear his thoughts.

“I-I, uh,” he cleared his throat. “Beth?”

“Hm?”

“Can I kiss y—“

“Steve,” a voice chastised from the hallway. “C’mon, man! That’s, like, the universal first rule of babysitting. ‘No boys,’ duh—"

“You mean girls, Dustin. I like girls”

“If you say so… Not my fault you’re the only male babysitter in existence. Beth-1, Steve-0.”

“Better luck next time, then?”

He didn’t need to catch the look on her face to see her triumph smirk as she slipped past him and into the living room.

After that, Steve decided to up his ante. He got his first point by convincing one of the girls on the cheer team to call Beth with some made-up conflict, knowing she would stay on the phone until she had it in her mind that everything was fine with who he’d heard her refer to in the past as ‘her girls.’

Ordinarily, her maternal approach to most things warmed his heart. He often thought she might make the perfect mother—a thought he kept to himself, of course. But he really, really wanted to use this as an excuse to take her out on a real date and he didn’t think he could win against her if he played it fair.

Dustin’s face lit up like Christmas morning at the news of their bet and even more so at the stakes. In hindsight, they should’ve known better than to assume any of those kids would play fairly. While Dustin promised Steve not to meddle in his relationship with Beth anymore, this game was the perfect loophole.

He freely tossed points around for made-up rules.

Dustin wasn’t entirely sure how many of those points Steve deserved, but he knew Beth. He knew otherwise she would win, and they’d stay in the limbo between friends and lovers. Dustin thought he had it figured out- until the end of the week left them with an even score of 5 to 5, thanks to Will.

While Steve hadn’t been able to stand the sight of the pool in his backyard for the past year, he felt right at home with Beth by his side. Just her feet dangled in the water, which the heater could bring only to a lukewarm temperature in the December weather.

“So,” she said. “Do we have to do both things now?”

Steve chuckled lightly.

“Maybe. But mine was better.”

“Yeah,” she rolled her eyes, stifling laughter. “If you say so.”

He held his hands up to his right ear in a mock-telephone, smirking:

“Hello, 911? I’d like to report a loser.”

“Steve, what are you even talking about? It was a tie!”

“Nah,” he pulled her closer. “Not really, ‘cuz I still won the girl.”

With one playful shove to the shoulder, she sent him splashing into the pool. Steve smiled through the salty taste of chlorine and dragged her by the ankle down after him.

As she resurfaced, Beth pushed her sopping hair from her eyes with a chuckle.

“For the record, Steve,” she said. “You could just ask me on a date next time.”

“There’s gonna be a next time?”

“Not if you aren’t careful, Harrington.”

Steve imagined he looked ridiculous standing in the shallow end of his pool, fully clothed and stuttering over his words. Beth couldn’t help but think she could get used to the sight.

#steve harrington #stranger things #my writing #fluff #steve harrington x oc #stethany my loves #best babysitters #dustin henderson #will byers #recycling old works

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rosietrace · 1 year

Text

Memory of me 💚

Genre: Birthday oneshot

Ocs featured: Zenith Devi, Victoria Shard

Main tags: Birthday oneshot, fluff, small angst, platonic soulmates

Warning(s): Possible spoilers for Zen's full backstory, Malleus/j, where this takes place in the main story timeline is left ambiguous

[ Reblogs are recommended ]

{ Apologies for any out of character moments }

Zen was bored.

He didn't have much to do today, since he already cleared his schedule earlier. So really, he had nothing to do.

Other than head to the music room, of course.

He did what he usually did in rooms like that. Play a couple of instruments, discover an idea for a new song, write the song, and finalize the concept.

Rinse and repeat. There was nothing new about the hobby he dedicated himself to. He dabbled in poetry, but music was his passion. His lifeline.

Almost nothing was quite like it.

After playing the violin for the past 45 minutes, Zen sighed. He decided that he wanted to spend his birthday another way than waste his time in a music room.

So naturally, he got permission from his headmaster and was allowed to leave campus grounds to visit his home.

──ㅇ─────↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺───ㅇ────

Zen's smile was bright, eyes glimmering with glee as he was enthusiastically greeted by the servants at the house's entrance.

"It's great to have you back, master Zenith. Do you wish for us to speak to your father for a large celebratory event for your birthday?"

Zen paused and thought about it as he and the head butler were walking around the manor. He concluded and politely shook his head.

"No thanks. Dad's already busy being a marquess as it is, and I wouldn't want to stress him out with making everything picture perfect."

"But the marquess adores you, master. I'm sure he wouldn't mind."

His grin softened to nothing but a small smile. One that the head butler recognized all too well.

"It's fine. I promise. I don't need a big extravagant party to be happy on my birthday." He reassured them, placing a hand on their shoulder.

They sighed."You're truly just like your mother, master…" the old man huffed, an exasperated yet endeared smile on their face.

Zen's smile faltered at the mention of his mother. But that didn't stop it from quickly returning.

"Thanks…. May I visit her?"

The butler turned to them with a look. One that asked Zen if he was sure of his request.

To which Zen replied with only a nod and the softest smile he could muster up.

The butler pursed their lips and bowed."Of course, master. You may visit the marchioness's memorial whenever you want…" they spoke, quickly excusing themselves to fulfill a request from Zen's father, the marquess of Devi.

All of a sudden, Zen hummed softly, deciding to head to his personal gardens to pick some flowers for his mother.

After excusing the servants who were tending to the gardens, Zen began his search for the perfect flowers.

"Mother always liked dandelions, but they weren't her favorite…." He muttered, wandering around the garden while trying to remember what his mother's favorite flower was.

"Hmm…. I wonder…"

"I believe auntie's favorite flowers were the amaryllis, white and pink carnations, and gladiolus."

Zen yelped, about to punch the voice behind him before he stopped when gazing at the woman in front of him. One he cherished as much as his mother.

"Ah- Tori?"

Victoria's smile was pure, almost childlike. One no one in night raven college had ever seen.

Only Zen was able to see such a smile all the time.

In an instant, Victoria found herself in the middle of a tight and almost highly anticipated hug from her best friend. In response, she giggled and quickly hugged him back.

"Good to know you're happy about your birthday."

"Well duh! But I didn't think I was able to spend much time with you because of your busy schedule…"

Noticing the pout on his face, Victoria laughed in amusement, pulling Zen closer into their hug.

"Well, I managed to clear my schedule in time to spend the rest of the day with you."

Zen pulled away and cheered, even going as far as to do a little victory dance after what Victoria told him. It made her snort a bit.

"Pffft-"

"Hehe, anyway, I was looking for mom's favorite flowers…"

Victoria nodded."I see…. Well, I'll help you. Let's just hope your garden has the flowers we're looking for." She crossed her arms and her smile began to appear more playful.

Zen rolled his eyes, feeling equally as playful as his beloved 'sister'.

"Can't guarantee that, but one can only hope once they start looking!" He exclaimed, spinning around and continuing his search. Only this time Victoria was quickly trailing behind him.

──ㅇ─────↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺───ㅇ────

He groaned."WHY IS THIS SO DIFFICULT!!?"

Victoria deadpanned at his complaint."Well, it isn't your fault that this garden is unnecessarily large." She walked beside him, looking at the flowers on her side.

He narrowed his eyes, stealing a glance."Says the lady with three different rose mazes in one manor." He grumbled.

Victoria smirked."Sorry, what did you say? I couldn't hear you, so I'd prefer it if you said that in my good ear." She teased.

He stuck his tongue out at her, to which she raised her eyebrows in response."A bit childish, don't you think?"

He crossed his arms, looking away from her direction."Shut up…"

She snickered, "You know I was joking, Zen."

"I know, but I was still hurt to hear it!"

"Did it really?"

"Well- No-"

They continued their conversation, shifting topics left and right, not caring about what they were talking about.

Even if some of the servants returned to tend to the garden and sent them questionable looks about the topics they were discussing, they still managed to find the amaryllis and white and pink carnations they were looking for.

The only flower that was left was the gladiolus.

"I bet I could beat a ghost in a fight."

"I don't think that's how it works. They're a ghost, so why bother fighting it?"

"Hypothetically, I'd still win in a fight with a ghost."

"I think it would be better to just call auntie Yona with any spiritual issues."

"You're missing the point."

Before Victoria could counteract, she finally caught sight of the gladiolus they were looking for.

Zen beamed, running towards it at lightning speed. Victoria groaned and did her best to catch up to him, but it didn't help that she was in heels.

Not that she couldn't run in heels, she just found it repetitive.

After picking up a couple of flowers, they both settled into making two small bouquets. Any excess flowers were put in a couple of flower vases that were placed around the house.

──ㅇ─────↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺───ㅇ────

When they eventually walked up to the doors that led to the memorial, Victoria noticed the hesitation in Zen's body when he was about to open the door.

She frowned, her expression softening at the sight of hidden fear in his eyes.

As Zen's hand was placed over one of the doorknobs, Victoria placed her hand on his as an act of reassurance.

Few words were exchanged between the two. The looks in each other's eyes were enough to have an hour-long conversation on its own.

The sincerity in Victoria's eyes, and the feeling of reassurance she had. It was enough for Zen to take a deep breath and quickly open the doors to the memorial.

His mother's memorial.

It was the equivalent of a small chapel. Yet it felt minimalistic as well. There was a delicate feeling in the architecture of the area like if you touched something for too long, everything could come crashing down on you.

They walked inside, wandering to look around before gazing upon the altar of the room that held the memorial of his mother.

Ekta Devi

Loving mother, beloved marchioness

Date of birth: ???

Date of death: February 14

"Always have a connection with others, and maybe find your true north."

Zen shut his eyes, feeling tears beginning to form. Mom…. Was what echoed in his mind. She's been gone for so long, yet it still felt so painful to gaze upon her memorial for too long.

It didn't help that his father kept her final resting place a secret. She didn't have a gravestone, and her funeral took place in this very room.

Victoria's heels clicked as she approached the altar. The sound of her heels caught Zen's attention and he slowly opened his eyes.

Now on her knees in front of the altar, Victoria's expression was filled with sadness and contempt when she placed the bouquet next to the memorial.

"Salutations, auntie. You might still find my way of speaking unusual…" she laughed to herself dryly, "You always said that I should strive to make more friends… But I don't know if I followed your advice."

Zen didn't speak, only listening to the words that escaped Victoria's lips before it was his turn to approach the altar and say a few words.

Hesitant, Victoria bit the inside of her lips before deciding to sit more casually in front of the altar. She placed her head on her hand, appearing bored.

Zen inched a little closer, curious as to what she was going to do.

"I wish you were still here… You'd have been more spontaneous with every celebration of me and Zen's birthdays."

Zen walked a little closer and was standing next to Victoria in front of his mother's memorial after a short time.

Feeling a little awkward, he placed his bouquet on the other side of the memorial. And finally sat down next to Victoria.

Victoria closed her mouth, turning to Zen, allowing him to let everything out. To say whatever he wanted to say.

It wasn't surprising that tears were already on the brink of falling down his face. Not in the slightest.

"H-Hi, mom…." Zen murmured, doing his best to hide his tears in front of the memorial.

"U-Um… Uh- It's my birthday today.." he said, hugging his legs.

"You might ask how dad's doing, so… I guess he's doing fine. But I don't think he's moved on from you…. I guess he meant it when he said 'till death do us part', huh?"

A bitter, sad laugh left his tongue. And his expression was that of a sad, little boy who hadn't moved on from his mother's death in fourteen years.

As a form of support, Victoria changed her sitting position so Zen could rest on her shoulder. Or on her lap. He chose to rest his head on her lap while still facing the memorial.

"I've been getting into music more than usual lately… You said I'm gonna make it big in the music industry, but I don't really know yet." Victoria smiled sadly at the memory.

And in due course, Zen finally allowed the tears to fall down his face. To let himself sob.

"I… I miss you so much, mom. I miss you, dad misses you, Tori misses you…" he sniffled, realizing it was becoming more difficult to fight back his tears.

"I…. Everyone misses you mom…" he sobbed, "I just wish you were here…."

Knowing it was best for him to let it all out, Victoria had Zen sit up and hugged him close, letting him cry on her shoulder. Even if she got some snot on her shoulder, that didn't matter.

What mattered, was seeing the comforting smile Zen had after letting it all out.

──ㅇ─────↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺───ㅇ────

They both continued talking in the memorial, telling Ekta everything they had been doing in the past few years or so. Relationships, friendships, familial drama, etc.

Until Victoria took something out of her pocket as they were about to leave.

Noticing the uncharacteristically cheeky smile on her face after he stood up, Zen squinted his eyes."What…" he questioned suspiciously.

She snorted."Remember when you said we'd get married when we were 5?" She giggled at the memory, whereas Zen pursed his lips and rolled his eyes jokingly.

"Well, clearly THAT didn't age well. You're going to marry Malleus anyway."

Victoria scoffed."Oh, hush now, Zen… Besides…"

Zen gasped loudly when Victoria dramatically went on one knee and revealed a box with a ring with sakura detailing on it with bits of diamonds around it.

"Well then, Zenith Devi, will you 'marry' me? Just like we promised?"

He laughed, no, cackled. Bordering full-on wheezing when the question left her lips. It didn't help that she began laughing alongside him.

Quickly taking the ring from its box, Zen gave Victoria the most dramatic look he could muster up. Something similar to the actors from all those romance dramas they'd watch sometimes.

"Yes, Victoria Regina Amarantha Annabella Shard, I do~"

She snickered, standing up and placing the ring on his left hand. Which was where Zen noticed the ring on her right hand.

"What- Is that the promise ring I gave you?"

She held back laughing again."Pfft- Yes." she replied cheekily, "I wore it for today since it means so much to you."

"Hah, I guess we are married."

Victoria cackled as they both walked out of the chapel."I'd say we're officially 'engaged'."

Zen grinned, acting rather haughty and prideful."I'm gonna brag about this to everyone."

"Sure you will…"

"Well, no one can just get married to someone like you, Tori!"

"Oh hush."

"Nope~"

She giggled, kissing the top of his head with the soft smile he always managed to see every day.

"Happy birthday, Zen."

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