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nelllraiser · 4 years

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siren song | athena & nell

TIMING: present. PARTIES: @athenaquinn and @nelllraiser. SUMMARY: athena and nell try to take out one of the remaining Ring bosses with...mixed results. CONTENTS: non con (siren enthrallment)

Finding the Siren hadn’t been easy, but with Nell’s background as a tracker, and Athena’s own skill set, the two girls were closing in on the bird in question. This wouldn’t be a mission for information. No, it was meant for the kill. There would be no holding back. This particular siren had been one of the higher ranking officers in the Ring, and Nell had no desire to let her escape, to continue down a path of destruction and pain. The only way to ensure that she wouldn’t be able to get her talons on anyone ever again was to end it all. Thankfully, Athena had agreed readily enough to the hunt, and Nell was crouched beside the other girl in the undergrowth, hands subconsciously checking the places she had her knives stowed, and running the lines of her summoning tattoos should she need to call upon them. It was assurance that everything she needed for a fight was present. Of course, there was one more thing. “You still have the mirror you said you brought?” she whispered to the Hunter, knowing it was their best chance if something went wrong. This would be the last check in before their ambush.

She just had to keep reminding herself that this was for the greater good. Even if she and Nell didn’t always get along, Athena had to have some respect for the other girl and what she did. Even if neither of them were likely to express feelings like that to one another’s faces, it did hold a certain level of truth. Now was not the time to focus on that, though. The Ring had been burned down and when Nell came to her asking for Athena’s help with going after a siren, Athena had felt a certain thrill down her spine. Which was how the two of them had ended up crouched together. “Of course. Top of my list when I packed this morning.” She raised an eyebrow at Nell. “Plenty of knives too, so we should be all set.” She took in a deep breath and looked over to Nell, a smirk on her face. “Ready to give this bird what it is rightfully owed?”

Nell nodded silently in response to Athena’s affirmation of the mirror, not wanting to create any more noise than was necessary when their adversary wasn’t all that far from where they laid in wait. As many differences and squabbles as Athena and Nell had, there were the similarities, as well. Both girls seemed to have a fondness for sharp things based alone off of the sheer number of knives they’d brought between the two of them, and both of them were also ready to enact vengeful justice on an overzealous bird that deserved to rot for all she’d done when it came to her crimes within the Ring. “I’m always ready to give a piece of shit like her what she deserves,” Nell breathed before matching Athena’s smirk with one of her own. Even if she didn’t like the Hunter, Athena had proved once before at the ritual by the lake that she was useful. One last steely look towards the siren, and then Nell was creeping forwards, weighted bolas in hand as she sneaked closer. They weren’t meant for the siren’s legs or wings, but her beak instead. If the two girls were going to stand a chance, avoiding an enthralling would be ideal.

She grinned in response to Nell’s nod. At least this time the two of them could cause a bit of damage this time, which was far more appealing than that lake ritual. Athena rolled her shoulders for a moment - she knew that she had to be ready at any moment. “Good. Glad we’re on the same page, then.” As Nell started to move forward, Athena followed, grateful that her warden genetics permitted an additional level of grace beyond what she might have naturally had. The two of them continued to creep toward the siren until they were just out of reach. Athena grabbed one of the knives from her hips - a small one - if they got close to the siren it’d be of use, but she could also throw it, if need be. “Good choice.” She nodded at the bolas in Nell’s hands. “Good thing it’s the both of us, huh?”

Their initial approach was seemingly successful, with the siren appearing none the wiser to Nell and Athena creeping up on her. Maybe this would be easier than she’d anticipated. She gave the other girl a silent and appreciative nod in response to her words, not wanting to risk speaking aloud when they were this close to their target. Now there was nothing left but to strike. Signaling to Athena that she was about to begin, the witch swung the bolas overhead, letting them gain momentum in preparation to throw them. Finally, she let them sail towards the siren’s beak, already exposed as she’d been having a quiet moment alone, no risk of detection or exposure causing her to take on a more human appearance. But something shifted at the last second. Whether it was pure chance, or the siren’s skill that had exposed them, the bird woman’s head shifted at the last moment, the bolas soaring past uselessly as the siren let out a birdlike squawk of shock and displeasure. “Shit.” Nell cursed quietly at their bad luck. Of course, things wouldn’t go to plan. In the next instant, the siren was rushing their hiding place, quickly advancing on the two girls.

She had always been taught to be wary whenever something seemed too easy. It was part of why Athena considered herself to be a good fighter, because whenever something had seemed too easy during training, her parents would often throw something else at her. Make sure that she didn’t feel too comfortable. Which meant that though she did trust Nell, she was ever so slightly worried about what would happen next, based on the information Nell had given her. None of this could be easy, especially if this siren was a higher-up in the Ring. However, she held her breath for a moment as Nell threw the bolas at the siren - and for a brief moment, it almost seemed as though this might work - but then the siren shifted quickly back into her human form and Athena felt her whole body tense up. Nell was still more human than she was, even considering the extensive fighting training she said she had. Almost without a second thought, Athena grabbed one of the knives from its resting place on her hip and stood up, brandishing it just slightly. “Don’t try anything,” she hissed under her breath, posture upright.

It had been too good to be true, that much was obvious. Thankfully, Nell was rather used to things going wrong at this point in her life. As Athena pointed her knife, the siren let out a strange, chirping chuckle. Wasting no time, the bird-woman split her lips, a hauntingly beautiful song instantly floating on air as she a knowing twinkle entered her eyes. “Shit,” Nell cursed as her hands instantly flew to her ears in an attempt to plug them, not wanting any part of the enthralling the siren was trying to put into place. This was why they’d been trying to shut her beak in the first place. However...it seemed that the witch wasn’t her target, the siren’s sights set on the Hunter brandishing a knife before her. The woman’s voice switched from song to speaking as her tune completed, a sharp grin cutting her face. “I think it’d just be so much fun to watch the two of you fight while I lay back and watch the show. Don’t you think?” The siren flexed the enthralling she’d done, making it a command rather than a suggestion.

There was a song coming through the air and Athena started to move her hands to cover her ears, to do anything to avoid the song. She knew what it did, even if she didn’t specialize in such things. Except before she was able to cover her ears she felt her body stiffen as she looked over to the woman. She was rather beautiful and Athena considered her words for a moment, before turning to face Nell. “I think that might be good.” She turned her knife in between her fingertips. “We never were able to fight back when The Ring was standing.” Athena glanced over to the siren, who was still smiling at her. “I think so. I know I would enjoy it.” The woman said. Athena took a few steps toward Nell. “What do you say?”

“Are you fucking shitting me?” Nell said to no one in particular, mostly just raising a curse of disdain towards the world itself that it would like something like this happen. Of course the two girls had known enthralling was a possibility, and even planned for it, but being made to fight one another? That was something Nell hadn’t planned for. Nell eyed the knife between Athena’s fingers, sizing the Hunter in a way she’d done countless times inside and outside the Ring, trying to find any weaknesses she might be able to exploit. “No thanks,” was her simple answer as to whether or not the two of them should fight. The mirror. They needed the mirror to free Athena. But Athena was the one who had the mirror. “Look, we don’t have to fight,” Nell said, raising her hands to either side of her head as if surrendering. She knew the words were futile, as once you were under the siren’s enthralling it was near impossible to break without a mirror, but she was hoping it might lure the other girl into a false sense of security. Whether or not it’d work would be dependent on if Nell’s next move was successful. In a quick motion, heightened by the speed spell she’d put on herself before leaving to fight the siren, she dropped to the floor, jutting out a leg to try and sweep it beneath Athena. Hopefully it’d get the girl off balance, and Nell could make an attempt to get to the mirror.

“No.” Athena grinned. “I find that joking can be appealing at times, but too much of it is not really my style much at all.” She wasn’t too much taller than Nell, but she had years of experience, years of knowing how to look like she was far less skilled than she was. It threw supernatural creatures off, and though Nell knew a bit more about her than those who were complete strangers, the other girl hardly knew everything, and Athena ran her tongue over her teeth, thinking about her next move. Hardly paying attention to what Nell was doing. Hardly paying attention to her words. As the spellcaster raised her arms, a small pout crossed over her lips, though it was not kind. “I think we do. I think I am going to win.” She tossed her hair over her shoulder again, glancing back over to the siren - the woman was leaning against a wall, hands crossed over her chest. Athena shrugged off her UMWC soccer jacket, letting it fall to the floor, the mirror carefully tucked in an outer pocket. Nell tried to get Athena off balanced but she almost had to laugh. “I am a warden, you’ll have to be better than that to get me off balance.” With a quick step she kicked Nell’s ankles, she knocked the other girl over, kneeling over her legs. “Nice try though. Very cute.”

Nell paid no mind to Athena’s talking. In the Ring, she hadn’t minded the jibbing and mocking that often took place between an opponent and her. In fact, it had been fun— adding another element of thrill to the fight. But this was different. Athena wasn’t her opponent in the Ring, and she also wasn’t entirely speaking of her own accord. The most the Hunter got out of the witch with her words was a suppressed eye roll and a single, derisive word of, “Precious.” As Nell took the fall as Athena struck, she lashed out in retaliation, hooking one of her ankles around the last of Athena’s to take her down in tandem. The other girl was a full two inches taller than herself, and though it wasn’t an outrageous difference between the two of them, it was enough to take note of. But Nell had learned long ago how to use an opponent’s greater size against themself, and it had bought her survival all too many times in a fight. With the both of them on the ground, Nell jabbed her knee upwards towards Athena’s stomach, hoping to knock some of the breath from her. In the same movement, she began her subtle attempts to search the Hunter’s hiding spots on her person for the mirror they’d brought. She’d prefer not to use magic against Athena if she didn’t have to while the other girl was out of her own control, but she would if need be. Meanwhile, the siren simply cawed in laughter from her rock, mocking the two of them in the dirt. “Look at the cute little girls roll around- trying to kill each other! This is already so much more fun than fighting you myself!”

She found herself growing more frustrated at Nell’s responses. Athena didn’t like it when others didn’t listen to her, didn’t appreciate her. Not quite as much when it came to a fight but she still didn’t like that the other girl wasn’t replying to her. At the one word Nell did provide. Athena matched the eyeroll with one of her own. Nell knocked her down, though Athena’s quick reflexes permitted her to halfway catch herself before she fell, but a certain pain shot through the palms of her hands as she did so. Blowing a strand of hair out of her face, she felt Nell’s knee collide with her stomach just as Nell’s hands start to search for something. Her knives? Oh, she was absolutely not about to take those. Athena shoved Nell’s hands away from her, doing her best to pin the other girl to the ground. She found herself grinning briefly at the other woman’s words. “Normally I don’t like being called cute,” she said as she worked to have her knee collide with Nell’s stomach, “but I’ll take it from you.” Athena looked down at Nell for a moment, another smirk covering her face. “I thought that you were supposed to be a good fighter. Why am I beating you, then?”

Though Nell had resolved not to get too involved with the banter of their scuffle, she couldn’t help the natural fight that rose in her as Athena continued to speak. She was only human, after all, wasn’t she? “This is what you call beating someone?” Nell replied with a breathy chuckle in the midst of their fighting for the upper hand. “Well that explains why I don’t remember seeing your name on the board at the Ring.” To be fair, Nell couldn’t actually remember whether or not she’d seen Athena’s codename on the board that kept track of those who’d won fights, but she didn’t particularly care for the sake of her jibe. She waited patiently underneath Athena, taking the opportunity to make certain that what she was looking for wasn’t on the Hunter. Where was the goddamned mirror? Letting the hit to her gut find its landing, she tensed the muscles of her abdomen in preparation, lessening the blow and shielding her insides from it while she made one last sweep, hoping Athena was sufficiently distracted as the sting filled her own stomach. “I’m tired of this,” she sighed dramatically as if the fight wasn’t worrisome before raising her hands with a quick snap of her fingers, and the nearly indistinguishable whispering of a spell crossed her lips. As her magic sprang to life, metal chains seemed to appear from thin air, summoned by Nell’s spell to wrap their way around Athena and bind her legs together with her arms to her sides. Now at least she’d be able to finish her search in peace. “What were you saying about winning, again?” If the mirror wasn’t on Athena...where was it? Nell’s gaze landed on the jacket Athena had discarded. Could it be hiding in there?

“No, this is what I call just getting started.” Athena rolled her eyes again. Did Nell really think that this was the best she could do? With a careful hum at Nell’s next comment, Athena spat back - “oh, you are absolutely wrong. I beat almost everyone I fought. I just, well, have a life outside of all of that, so maybe that’s why you missed it. We can’t all live there. Some of us have lives.” The blow against Nell’s stomach felt satisfying, particularly when she could hear the woman in the corner clapping. It sounded, for a brief moment, just like her mother’s clapping whenever she was beating her brother in a fight. Nell’s words brought her focus back, though before she could respond, some sort of metal chains appeared and were suddenly around Athena’s legs and arms and she struggled back and forth. “Get the fuck off of me, Nell.” She glared. “This is complete bullshit, you know. You used literal magic because you were afraid you were going to lose.” Her gaze followed Nell’s. “What? Jealous of my fashion? It is a cute jacket, I know.”

Nell couldn’t help the chuckle that came from her as Athena insisted on preserving her honor or whatever it was she thought she was doing by spitting back her defensive words. “Oh no,” the witch fake pouted. “You caught me. I have absolutely no life. And you pointing it out has just cut me absolutely to the core.” Her bottom lip jutted out comically, though she was more amused than anything. Still, she rolled her eyes as Athena was incapacitated, and Nell quickly palmed through the pockets of the jacket on the ground. Bingo. She felt the mirror before she saw it, and carefully palmed it into her hand with a move that more belonged on a magician’s stage than anywhere else, not wanting the siren to see and catch wind of what was happening. “I used magic cause I was bored.” Nell shot back with a grin. “But if you want me to kick your ass without magic, I’m sure we can set that up for another time.” There was limited time now as the siren grew rowdy in the background, very much disappointed that her little murder fest had been interupted. Crouching down in front of Athena, Nell continued to hide the mirror as best she could, angling it to catch the reflection of the siren in a way that hopefully kept it from catching the bird woman’s eye. “Just look into the mirror, Athena,” Nell said, hoping the Hunter would do as she was asked. Then the enthralling would be broken.

She didn’t like how Nell laughed. Athena frowned for a moment. “You said it. Confirmed it. Not me.” A small, cruel giggle escaped her lips. Had she been able to, she would have shoved the other girl off her body. However, she couldn’t, and that only soured her expression. “Don’t touch my jacket.” She hissed. Except that Nell was holding something. “Yeah, well, figures.” She rolled her eyes. “I’d love that. I can say that I’m practically guaranteed to beat you though. I’ve got God-given talent.” Nell was moving toward her again and she wanted to look away, wanted to snap at Nell again, but she was holding something and Athena’s curiosity got the better of her. Just like back with that fae in her dream, ever so curious and wondering. She glanced over into the mirror - the woman behind them no longer appeared human and Athena felt her whole body practically collapse onto itself. “I - what the fuck just happened?!” She looked over to Nell. “Get me out of these now.”

Nell simply barked another laugh at Athena’s claims of God-given talents. She could only assume that the girl meant her Hunter strength and reflexes, as well as the other things that came with her species. “If you get to use your ‘God-given’ talents, then I get to use mine, and then I’ll just beat you again.” She waggled her fingers for a fleeting second, insinuating that the magic that flowed through her veins was her ability. But relief flooded her as it seemed Athena came to— the enthrallment breaking. “Act like you’re still under her enthrallment,” Nell hissed as quietly as she could to the Hunter. “So she won’t suspect.” If the Siren thought the fight was over- surely she wouldn’t hesitate to place another enthrallment. Then they’d have to start all over again. “I’ll loosen the bindings, and you can pretend to break out. Then we’ll work our way over to her and hit her when we get close enough.” It was the best plan she could think of on the fly. Nell was true to her word, letting the spell on the chains loosen enough for Athena to wriggle her way out.

“My talents are something I was born with, and they go beyond any special abilities. I could beat you regardless.” Athena smirked. Nell seemed to be quite cocky, and she fought away the urge to roll her eyes again before the enthrallment broke. She wanted to scream, wanted to rush at the siren right away, but she stopped. Listened to what Nell was telling her - and it did make sense. Not only could one of them likely get enthralled again, but the siren might take more drastic measures the next time in order to ensure that they didn’t break away. Her breaking the mirror could become the least of their worries. “Fine.” She whispered to Nell, before loudly proclaiming, “what awful powers you have. They’re no match for me.” She broke away from the chains that Nell’s magic had created before standing back up and grabbing onto the other girl’s shirt. “We can move over.” She said, lips hardly moving. “Slowly, and then we’ll get her.” She gave a small kick to Nell’s leg, before flashing a smile at the siren. “It might be more fun to take this slowly. That way I can savor my win.” So long as the siren still thought she was enthralled, the two of them had a leg up - a tactic that would this time prove to work out for them.

Did Athena not realize that Nell had been born with her magic in just the same way she’d been born with her Hunter abilities? Either way, the smack talk was part of the show they were putting on— so Nell had to keep it up. “Do you think I wasn’t born with magic?” Nell said with a harsh bark of laughter. “But sure— I’ll beat your ass now, and I’ll beat your ass later if you really want me to. I’m just such a giver like that.” It was a relief that Athena seemed to understand her plan, and was willing to go along with it. Now began the real show. After Athena kicked, Nell quickly and effortlessly threw herself into a back handspring under the guise of a dodge, inching them closer to the siren. “Yeah, you better savor it now, since you’re not going to get the chance to actually savor it. You’d have to actually win for that to happen.” Meanwhile, the bird woman cawed a jubilant cheer and laugh as the two girls seemed to dance for her pleasure. Nell drew one of her knives, but turned it on herself- gathering the blood she’d need for more spells by drawing it down the length of her forearm. Drawing a quick little symbol on her wrist with the ruby droplets, the discarded chains quickly came back to life, slinking their way towards Athena to try and wrap themselves around her ankles. Assuming it proved successful, Nell tugged on the opposite end of them, trying to drag the Hunter closer to her and the siren.

She wanted to get out of all of this. Athena loathed not feeling in control, and her whole body felt wrong and unnatural right now. Though, she supposed, getting rid of the siren would be a great deal of relief. Get rid of what causes you pain, of what makes your life more difficult. Her parents had given her some variation of that advice at multiple times throughout her life, and she liked to think that it could hold true in many different contexts. She hissed back at Nell, “Just try, Nell. You’re just afraid that I do have the ability to beat you. It’s okay to be afraid.” She giggled. “Many people are, it’s okay for you to be normal. Also I will win. I always do.” When the chains wrapped around her ankles again the glare that she gave Nell was very real. Had this been under any other circumstance, she would have yelled at the other girl to stop, but she couldn’t right now. Instead, she settled for a small huff and a glare directed toward Nell. “I thought you said you could beat me without any of your powers. Seems like that’s not so true.” She glanced toward the siren, remarking “I’m going to beat her, you’ll see,” before she turned back to Nell, pulling out one of her knives. “This might hurt a little, but it’ll all be okay. I’m quiet and precise.” With that, she turned back around and dug the knife into the siren’s chest, just to the left of her heart. The siren let out a scream and Athena ignored it, instead twisting the knife in more, a feeling of incredible satisfaction rolling through her body.

A sharp grin played across Nell’s lips as Athena plunged the knife home, reveling in the knowledge that the siren was done for, her bloodlust momentarily sated even if part of her wished she’d gotten to drive the dagger in. The siren hadn’t even seen it coming, too caught up in the little act that Athena and Nell had been putting on. Now that it was over— there was no need to carry on the back and forth of their bickering. After all, the play was over. The witch had been ready with a retort on her lips, but there was no point now. Of course...the part of Nell that was always ready to fight was eager to let the pointed words fly anyway, but by some miracle of miracles she managed to tamp them down for the time being. Instead she released the magic on the chains once more, letting them fall away from Athena. “And that’s that,” Nell said cheerily, the high of the kill getting to her for a moment. Once the siren’s heart stopped beating, Nell moved in to inspect the body, searching the nooks and crannies of the siren’s clothes for anything that might prove useful when it came to the Ring and Roy. As for the body… “I can take care of the leftovers. I’ll make good use of her if you don’t need it for anything.” Certainly the hellhounds and Greg would love a good meal of fried chicken.

She relished in the sound of the last breaths of the creature. Athena quickly sidestepped the chains when Nell finally released her from them, giving them a sharp kick away from her. Regardless of anything, she was not especially keen to be taken control of in any way, shape, or form any time soon. She understood why Nell had used the chains, but that didn’t mean that they didn’t unsettle her just slightly, still. “Over and done with.” She shrugged, tossing her hair over her shoulder. “I did say that I don’t lose, and I meant it.” She grabbed a cloth and wiped off her knife, humming slightly at Nell’s commentary. “You can do whatever you want with her. I’ve got no use once they’re dead.” She only took mementos if something was significant. Even then it was usually from fae, if anything. Her parents took more than that, but she’d never seen any reason to. It would provide clutter, and the satisfaction of the win was far better than anything else that she could hope for, anyhow. She walked away from Nell for a moment, grabbing her jacket and slipping it over her shoulders. “It’s a good thing we were both here,” she remarked in lieu of a direct thank you, “though if it’s all good with you, I would like my mirror back. Never know when it could come in handy.”

“Mhm,” Nell simply made the noncommittal sound as a means of not answering Athena, not entirely trusting herself to say something that wasn’t another snotty quip at the moment after the heat of the fight. Her hands continued to search pockets, looking for something that might point her towards a next step in this seemingly wild goose chase. All she found was a crumpled up note that looked to have been haphazardly written. Still...as she unfurled it to read the contents, her jaw set into an angry line, red coming over her vision as the words confirmed what she’d been most worried about. They were trying to rebuild. The Ring’s leaders were attempting to bring the rubble of that cursed place together to make a new, just as revolting place. Remmy and her would have to move quicker than she’d originally anticipated to make sure that it didn’t happen. She’d do whatever it took to make sure that place never saw the light of day again. “Yeah, a good thing.” Nell echoed, not entirely processing the words for a moment as her rage took a long moment to subside. It was only then that she realized this might have been Athena’s version of a temporary truce. “Thanks for helping out with it.” Then she tossed the mirror back to Athena, having no doubt the girl would catch it with her reflexes. “Let’s get out of here.” It was time to go home and figure out just how she’d be doing away with the Ring. Once and for all.

#wickedswriting #non con tw #ch:athena #chatzy #siren song

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ghoste-catte · 4 years

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⭐️ for You Love A Stone please? About anything!! :D

Aaah yay!! You Love a Stone is probably my favorite or 2nd favorite thing I’ve ever written, so I’m super excited to have a chance to gush about it.

My original framework for the story was always 3 parts, based on the Okkervil River song, “A Stone”. I originally stumbled across Okkervil River in a record shop in my hometown. I picked up the album Black Sheep Boy out of the pre-owned CD rack because of the cover art and the lyrics booklet, despite knowing nothing about how the band sounded, because something about the art just ... spoke to me and who I was at the time. A Stone quickly became a favorite of mine, because, while on the surface it’s about loving a girl who’s still in love with her dead boyfriend, in many ways it’s about loving someone who’s out of reach, or incapable of love. Maybe TMI, but especially as a high schooler, that was a notion that was really evocative to me ... I remember a lot of late nights, driving home in the rain, taking the corners on the rural back roads way too fast, scream-crying along with these lyrics, because I didn’t think I was someone who was capable of love. (I’m okay now. Therapy is a good thing.)

But anyway, I’ve been obsessed with that song for like ... well over a decade at this point, and it always seemed to me like something that could be spun into an AU, even back then. I just didn’t have the mental space to do the idea justice at the time. My original idea honestly was something to do with Sakura or Hinata, because of the whole “princess who turns away all her suitors in favor of a vagabond who left her one rose” thing, but then I sort of hit my fanfic niche and the ultimate concept became GaaLee.

The first draft of the fic included the characters having magic abilities in each setting, something that I’m glad I left out, because I like them better as just ... ordinary people, going about their lives, and the only aspect of magic being the reincarnation cycle. For example, in an early draft of chapter 2, Lee met Gaara because he was showing off with magic sand as part of a courtship ritual. Likewise, in the final chapter, Gaara pulled Naruto’s chair out from under him with sand, rather than his foot. The mundane magic idea ended up spun into Heliotrope, another fic I wrote around the same time.

The original conceit also was a lot more Western-centric. The middle chapter, which ended up set in the Edo period, was much more a kings/queens/castles Western medieval fantasy-type deal, but I had been reading a lot of meta about the ... Americanization (?) of anime canons in modern AUs, and so I ended up deciding to stick with a Japanese setting. I’m glad I did, and I think the fic is stronger and more unique for it, but oh my god did I end up having to do so much research. I did not know really anything at all about Edo Period Japan outside of like ‘samurai were A Thing’ prior to sitting down to write, so every time I had a thought about a sentence, I then had to think through: Okay, but is that something that feasibly would have happened? Is this breaking some major cultural mores I don’t know about? There’s probably still some of that in the fic, but hopefully there’s less. For example, in the original draft, Lee was a Buddhist monk instead of a Shinto priest, but monks have a lot fewer things they’re allowed to do and I didn’t want to go the whole ... religious figure breaks his vows for gay sex angle, because that felt kinda disrespectful. Finding information about Shinto funeral rites was especially challenging, because in modern-day Japan funerals are completely Buddhist in nature (Shinto priests aren’t supposed to deal with death because it’s unclean), so I ended up going deeeep into the literature to find historical accounts of Shinto funerals pre-Meiji Restoration. Thank god for Google Scholar.

Likewise with the last chapter, my original thought for a modern AU was that they would both have grown up in foster care, and I intended to have them meet at something like a disciplinary/behavioral ed school. I thought this would be much quicker and easier for me to write, because I’m very familiar with the American foster care and educational system. Turns out, after a bit of research, that there really isn’t anything like the American foster care system in Japan, there’s mostly state institutions and kinship care. So I ended up having to scrap basically my whole first draft of the third chapter and rewrite it from the ground up to fit an institutional setting. Fortunately this wasn’t quite as much of a jump as from Western medieval setting to Edo-period Japan, but it was still a lot of revision. I ended up watching a very interesting short documentary and reading a ... 200-something page Human Rights Watch report about state institutional care in Japan (You can read it here, warnings obviously for child abuse and neglect) before I felt comfortable proceeding. Little things that bring a story to life, like what kind of flowers bloom at a certain time of year, what the temperature is like and how the air smells, what people eat and what they wear, are really important to get accurate or close to accurate, so I’m always looking for little things like that, and first-hand narratives and video are a great way to get those little details. I also read and watched a lot of material about homelessness in Japan, runaways, and emancipation. It was surprisingly hard to find information about people who don’t follow a typical path of high school -> college -> working a white-collar job, and I had to flex my (very rusty) Japanese skills to turn up some of the material.

Lee in the final chapter was really an interesting challenge to write, because he was so much more wounded than Lee is in canon. A big part of my decision to write Lee this way was based on research into Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) and resiliency. In canon, Lee goes through a lot of hardship, but he has a mentor--Gai-sensei--who insulates him from a lot of his trauma. Research shows that children who have just one “safe” adult figure in their lives are much less likely to suffer the adverse effects of childhood trauma or to grow up to have PTSD. In the modern AU, Lee doesn’t have this, and he’s grown up without a single stable adult caregiver, just a rotating cast of paid adults.This is why he calls Naruto and Sasuke by their last names, because it doesn’t feel safe to him to become their friends, despite ostensibly knowing them for years. Gaara, on the other hand, is the more open one in the final chapter--after all, he grew up in a relatively intact home until recently, despite the abuse--and that’s why he befriends them and calls them by their first names, because he doesn’t have the same walls up.

Lee also has symptoms of ADHD and dyslexia in chapter 3. I often write modern AU Lee with dyslexia, because it seems a good allegory for his canon disabilities, in that it means he has to work much harder to do the things that his peers take for granted, and some of them he can’t do at all, which makes people think he’s not as smart as he actually is.

Thanks for the opportunity to talk about this fic! Like I said, it’s probably one that I hold closest to my heart. Sorry about the length!!

Ask me for the Director’s Cut of a specific story/scene/set of lines or send me a star to have me give a behind-the-scenes peek into a story of my choice!

#answered #ask meme #anonymous #Anonymous

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rileyrooin · 5 years

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R&L Live: Detroit

This jumps around and I discussed the show a bit more than in other recaps because there are moments from it that I want to remember. I recognize that I am incredibly fortunate to be able to attend shows and afford VIP tickets. If you aren't interested in reading, or if you want to send me nasty messages about this, I encourage you to just scroll on by instead. As always, please do not repost my pictures without permission.

I attended this show with Mr. Rooin, and two of my friends, R (my BFF) and B. R and B (heh) are both GMM fans. It would be the first time either of them has seen the guys live.

The Show

Britton opened the show. The crowd in Detroit loved him and he really fed off its energy. During the merch song, he started giggling mid-song because we were all laughing about the lyrics; his giggles made the crowd laugh more and he had to stop playing for a minute to compose himself. It was very cute. I cannot wait for him to put out an album. There are several of his songs that have been stuck in my head since the show.

After a brief intermission, Rhett and Link came out on stage. I expected to have a good view since our seats were in the front row, but I guess I didn’t really think about just how close they would both be to me (but especially Rhett). But, suddenly, there he was right in front of me.

As they settled in to begin the show, Rhett scanned the crowd, taking it all in. His eyes briefly met mine when he did so, but he continued to scan and then, unexpectedly, his attention came back to my face. My poor heart just about leaped out of my chest when he shot a small smile at me. I thought I must be imagining it, but once he broke eye contact, R elbowed me and whispered, “Did Rhett just recognize you?” I shrugged and tried to concentrate on their opening banter about the meaning of the name Detroit.

I'm going to share some highlights because no one needs a play-by-play of every moment of the concert:

Tokyo came early that night. Of course, even after Rhett told the crowd that he would do it one time only, there were people who thought they would be cute and continue to shout it and other garbled nonsense (including someone pretending to be CCR). This led to sassy, sarcastic Link making fun of people shouting stuff. Rhett got a bit grumpy at one point and gave the crowd a stern dad expression. I didn't capture either of these moments on camera, but they were hilariously in character.

The setlist was basically the same as the Columbus show, but with fewer songs. We didn't get “Water Dispensing Tab” or any of the other songs they've been subbing in for it in other shows. I feel like something else was removed, but I'm not sure what. I love all of their new songs. I wish they'd release them so people who can't attend the shows could hear them, as well.

At the venue, on either side of the stage, stand two huge knights set into niches in the wall. One of the running themes of that night's banter was Rhett wanting the knights to come to life. He had an elaborate ritual he wanted the room to perform to bring the knights to life that included hissing like a cat, other strange noises, and some voguing. When that didn't work, they moved on, but came back to the topic several times throughout the show. My favorite one was before “Middle School Girlfriend.” Rhett suggested that perhaps if Link played all three of his recorders at once, the knights would come to life. Much like the escaping a simulation handholding from Ear Biscuits, Link was game to give it a try. So, Rhett offered to hold his third recorder for him. The moment was funny, but I was focused on the extreme softness in Rhett’s eyes as he helped Link. The photos don’t begin to do it justice.

After the recorders failed to bring the knights to life, Link tried to steer the conversation back to “Middle School Girlfriend” banter by saying, “This is not unlike what my first kiss looked like.” Rhett was seemingly disinterested in returning to his stool/mic, so he leaned forward to speak into Link’s. Link pushed him away and said, “Get… Get your face outta my mic!”

Throughout the entire show, I kept having to tell myself to stop staring at him. My attempts at having some level of chill were continuously destroyed by Mr. I'm Going to Make Eye Contact Unexpectedly throughout the concert. It sounds foolish, but even though I was in a venue with so many other people, there were moments where watching him play the piano and guitar from that close felt incredibly intimate. But, maybe that's just my crush talking.

The rap section of the show was highly entertaining yet again. Their enthusiasm and excitement during it is so much fun to watch.

During “It's My Belly Button,” he was so close: that cute belly on display right in front of me as he dad danced his heart out.

During one chorus, when he got to the “something I want to show to you" line, he pointed at me. R grabbed my arm and hissed, “Dude, he fucking loves you.” (n.b. This all sounds like wishful thinking from a ridiculous fangirl, but I swear it's true. I harbor no delusions that there was some secret message in his actions. I know it meant nothing; he was simply playing up the moment for a reaction. That doesn't mean I didn't enjoy the attention, though.)

Meet and Greet

After the show, we were quickly ushered into a long line that wrapped down the side and around the back of the theater. I used the opportunity to run to the bathroom to freshen up the best I could. My group and I hung out in the line while I proceeded to try to calm my anxiety about talking to them again. One of the things that helped me with this was the soothing sound of Rhett's laughter echoing in the large space. Another thing that helped was watching how amazing they are with all of the fans they meet. From kneeling down to meet children to really focusing their attention on each person they chatted with, it's clear that every interaction is important to them. I know I've said it before, but we love some seriously great guys, y'all.

Prior to the show, I’d talked to Mr. Rooin about how I really wanted to have a nice picture of me hugging Rhett. Ever the patient and understanding one, he offered to hang back while R and I talked to the guys so he could attempt to get that picture on his phone (since Gary would have mine). (Spoiler: he got the picture and it might be my current phone lock screen.)

The line moved quickly (the meet and greet time goes by so fast), so it wasn’t long until it was our turn. R went ahead of me and introduced herself to Link, shaking his hand as she did so. As R moved on to shake Rhett's hand, Link's attention shifted to me over her shoulder. I smiled at him, once again blown away by how blue and intense his eyes are in person. I opened my mouth to introduce myself, but before I could, he welcomed me into a hug and said, “Good to see you again.” He patted my back like the last time, but held the hug for a couple seconds. “How've you been?”

“Good. Better now, though,” I answered as we broke apart. He grinned at me and I felt my heart melt a little bit. And then I turned to my left and into the open arms of the bearded one. He patted my back twice and I squeezed him tightly. He held the hug for a moment, holding me against him, and I probably clung onto the hug for a few seconds longer than I should have. I couldn’t help it; his hugs feel so damn good.

As I stepped back, I realized Link was talking to me again. “It's been awhile.”

“Well, only since April.” In my mind, I was thinking: Why am I getting sassy with Link?

Rhett said something in reply that made my whole face flush and caused my brain to shut down. I looked to Link for rescue. He simply laughed at my reaction, so I laughed with him while my mind was chanting wtf wtf wtf.

Then, Rhett said, “Okay, step up here for the picture. Where do you two want to be?” R, who is the extrovert between us, had fallen totally speechless in their presence. She's a Link girl, so even though logistically she should have been on Rhett's side based on where she was standing when he asked the question, I slid between them so she would be next to Link. (And, yes, so I could be next to Rhett.) As I put my arm around Rhett's waist, I glanced up at him and he was smirking away. I'm sure my crush is terribly obvious to him, but… meh, what are you gonna do? Gary took the picture while I tried to take in the moment and how it felt to have his body pressed so close to mine with his hand on my shoulder. After that R did a solo picture with the guys. She finally found her voice to ask for hugs before she left and they obliged.

I did an individual photo with them and then, my meet and greet time was nearly done. I handed Rhett the letter I'd written them and stammered out an explanation about how I hoped they would read it later. He smiled kindly and then passed it back to me to give to Jenna. I hung around watching while B and Mr. Rooin met them. Finally, we got our posters/bags from Jenna, Lily, and Lincoln. I talked to Britton for a minute before we made our way out and took a picture with him this time. I almost made it out of the theater before I teared up. Almost.

I feel very fortunate and grateful that their shows have been in locations close to me. Years ago, when I discovered these two and became a fan, I never expected that I would have the opportunity to meet them once, let alone three times. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that I would be someone they would recognize on sight. I heard them say similar things to other fans who they'd met before. It's comforting to know that even though there are millions of fans out there, they see us.

#riley's ramblings #meet and greet #smitten kitten #i love two (2) men #i am a walking awkward situation #rhett and link live #randl live detroit

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shyguycity · 4 years

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Goty 2019

Hey. It’s game of the year 2019 baby. By now you know the kinda justice we seek on these streets, so no long-winded introductions, except to remind you that these aren’t reviews, and honorable mentions have been moved down to the bottom this year because we're evolving.

12. Super Kirby Clash (Switch) - A free to play online Kirby spinoff centered around combat that features microtransactions sounds like an awful idea on paper, and yet it’s somehow my most played multiplayer game of 2019. I won’t try and present the game as anything more than what it is, which is basically a very (very very very!) simplified, arcade-y Monster Hunter game with a very (very very very very!) cute aesthetic. But as a recent convert to Monster Hunter and a longtime Kirby lobbyist, it turns out that that’s all I need to play a game for nearly 100 hours. The four classes all have varied abilities, gameplay and roles to play, and there’s nothing more satisfying than freezing time as the mage in the middle of an enemy’s jumping animation. I found the microtransactions to be completely fair, as I spent around 10 dollars total on the game and never found myself hurting for apples (the game’s main currency and the only one you can buy with real money) to upgrade my equipment. This isn’t a game I would be able to recommend to everyone, but if it’s your type of thing then it’s going to be very much your type of thing.

*Image credit: 505 games

11. Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night (Switch/PS4/Xbox One/PC) - Despite horrible first impressions from my backer copy of the Switch version, Bloodstained really ended up delivering the true Castlevania: Symphony of the Night successor it promised to be, and I had a fantastic time with it (after trading in my Switch version and begrudgingly purchasing a PS4 copy). While I love almost all of the Castlevania games in their own ways, even the best entries post-SotN didn’t end up feeling much like SotN. Bloodstained, meanwhile, wears its inspiration on its sleeve. Or rather on its wolf hood and gas mask combo.

Obscure, bizarre, and goofy secrets are around every single corner of the castle. I mean, like, really esoteric ones that I can’t imagine having found without a guide. From the myriad of hidden (and very challenging!) boss fights, to trophies popping for playing a piano while having a fair familiar out to entire sprite based areas, the surprises never stop being thrown at the player. It adds so much goofball flavor to the game that’s missing from just about any other entry in the genre, and it does the brunt work in giving this game its identity.

Not only are the secrets plentiful and good, but the combat is also excellent; much like a couple entries in the latter Castlevania games, just about every single enemy in Bloodstained has a chance of dropping you a shard upon defeat, and each one gives your character Miriam a new ability. Some of these are simple passive buffs, while others completely change your combat options. From ghostly portrait guardians to giant dentist drills coming out of your hand to summoning disembodied dragon’s heads, the shard system is never not entertaining, and leaves the player so much room for experimentation and realizing their ideal build it’s actually a wonder they were able to bug test this thing at all. And truly, the main issues holding Bloodstained back from true greatness are its technical issues. Which is a shame, and seemingly an issue on all platforms. But if you can handle a hard crash here or there, you’re in for a treat.

10. Fire Emblem: Three Houses (Switch) - I never thought I would care at all for any Fire Emblem game. Certainly, I saw the appeal of them prior to Three Houses, but they just never seemed like something I would want to devote a lot of time to. But putting the game in a school setting and recontextualizing your soldiers as students really made a huge difference for me, and I bonded with the characters in the game in a way I normally reserve for my Pokemon teams. And unlike Pokemon, I can marry my students, which is beautiful and horrifying.

There are definitely issues with Three Houses. A silent protagonist has no right starring in a game like this, especially with all the emotional story beats the game is trying to pull off. The writing in general was also all over the place, ranging from odd decisions with both the characters as well as the overarching story (some of this is remedied by replaying the game multiple times and going down different routes, but I put 60 hours into the game and couldn’t even finish two paths, so that’s a bit unrealistic). Lastly, the monastery that serves as your school needs just a tad more variety in activities to do in between the battles, as what started out as my favorite part of the game became a chore for the last dozen or so hours.

All of that said, I am anxiously waiting for the sequel, as the foundation that’s been put down here could lead to something truly special. As it stands, this is the best secret Harry Potter game ever made, and that alone is going to have a lot of appeal to a lot of people.

*Image credit: Gamespot

9. Resident Evil 2 (PS4/Xbox One/PC) - Truly, I have never been more stressed out when playing a game than the first time I had to start dealing with Mr. X. Yes, on each subsequent playthrough (of which I did many!) and even encounter he became less of a threat and more of an annoyance, but much like a good horror movie, that first time will remain embedded in my brain as one of my most memorable gaming moments.

And that kinda sums up Resident Evil 2 as a whole for me. An amazing, unforgettable start in the police station, followed by a somewhat middling second act in the sewers, and ending on kind of a weirdly short whimper in a very tonally different setting than the rest of the game. And that’s without getting into how disappointingly similar the “B” playthroughs of either character were to their “A” counterparts. It was all still great, mind you, and the gameplay and scares remained excellent throughout. But man was that first act in the police station something truly special, and I’m hopeful that the eventual remake of 3 keeps more of that tone throughout.

8. Pokemon Sword/Pokemon Shield (Switch) - Cutting hundreds of Pokemon was pretty close to the bottom of my list of concerns going into the latest Pokemon. The series hasn’t really grabbed me in a major way since Black and White on the DS almost 9(!) years ago, and I had largely accepted the idea that I was finally growing out of the franchise. While this 8th generation of Pokemon titles is far, far from perfect, and in fact doubles down on a lot of the aspects I don’t like about modern Pokemon games, Sword has become my favorite entry in the series in a very long time.

This is down to two things: my favorite batch of new Pokes the series has ever had (Galarian Farfetch’d, my prince............) and the introduction of multiplayer coop content with raids. The former is subjective I suppose (but seriously, Galarian Farfetch’d), and the appeal of the raids is going to be dictated by how into repetitive content you are and if you have people to raid with. I’m fortunate enough to love repetitive tasks in video games, especially repetitive tasks that amount to fighting and capturing giant monsters for rewards, and to have a partner to enjoy those repetitive tasks with. We lost entire weekends to hunting down new raid opportunities in Sword, and this feels like the first major step the series has taken in nearly a decade to try and reengage me in a meaningful way.

And don’t get me wrong: Pokemon has a long way to go to bring me entirely back into the fold. The dungeons are nonexistent, the routes are largely completely straightforward affairs, the post game content is so light that “barebones” feels like a generous descriptor, and the performance issues in the wild area (the game’s more open, free roaming space) are inexcusably awful when played online. I hope by the time the 9th generation games roll around that we’ll get a bigger advancement than what’s been seen here, but to me, this feels like an all around better made product than any of the 3DS entries, with or without Galarian Farfetch’d.

7. Risk of Rain 2 (Switch/PS4/Xbox One/PC) - The original Risk of Rain is a personal all-time favorite, so seeing the developers successfully make the jump from 2D to 3D while still maintaining everything I love about the first game is a truly remarkable feat. Both games sport essentially MMO-lite combat with abilities dictated by cooldowns and items that you get from chests and bosses, with rogue-like progression and permadeath. That’s a lot of jargon even for me talking about video games, so essentially: keep shooting things and powering up by grabbing items and defeating bosses, and when you’re dead you’re dead (bar a specific item), rinse and repeat.

It’s deceptively simple while being endlessly replayable. The true fun comes in when playing with other people, as every character plays completely differently, and figuring out builds for each person on the fly is extremely fun and rewarding. This also means that if you start getting bored of one character, simply play a different one on your next run. Add in an extremely moody sci-fi aesthetic (including one of my favorite soundtracks of the year) and that’s Risk of Rain.

The main issue with Risk of Rain 2 at this point is that it’s simply unfinished, and won’t even have an actual ending state until spring of 2020. This doesn’t hamper my enjoyment of the game much, hence it being on this list, but I imagine a lot of people would be bothered by it. The developers have done a great job of updating the game at a decent pace so far though, and every major patch has come with a new character, among a ton of other things. And if I’ve already gotten this much enjoyment out of an early access title, it’s exciting to think about a feature complete version down the line. And hopefully that feature complete version of Risk of Rain 2 includes the Chef character from the first game *ahem*.

6. Astral Chain (Switch) - In a year full of some real dang weird yet shockingly great games, Astral Chain stands tall as probably the weirdest surprise of them all. You’re a future cop fighting invisible ghost demons from an alternate dimension with your own invisible ghost demon chained to you through some high tech handcuffs. That’s just the first half hour of the game, and it ratchets up the anime nonsense many magnitudes over in the course of its 20ish hour runtime. And it’s great and stupid.

It’s not just the plot that’s over the top, though. Coming from developer Platinum Games, renowned for their nonstop super sweaty action portfolio, Astral Chain spends just as much time tasking the player with exploring its world, characters, and lore as it does asking you to punch enemies the size of skyscrapers (or bigger). It’s a formula that works shockingly well, as I found myself enjoying the downtime segments just as much, if not more, than the action portions of the game. And the action that is there doesn’t really play like your typical Devil May Cry or Bayonetta, either; the player character, while critical to pulling off combos and the like, is not your primary damage dealer, with that role being fulfilled by your five “legions” (the aforementioned ghost demon buddies), all of which have different strengths, weaknesses and abilities. The gameplay ends up feeling kind of like a realtime Pokemon game by way of JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, and no sentence I’ve ever written has been as cool as that one.

I do think Astral Chain falls a bit short in the combat department, at least compared to other games in the genre. It’s a bit too simplified, despite how crazy looking and overwhelming the actions you and your legions end up doing can be, and I think that the obligatory Platinum-style grading system in this is very poor - it doesn’t seem to grade overall performance so much as it just wants you to constantly be switching your legions in the midst of battle. Which is a great lesson to teach your players, but I would also like if anything else about my combat performance seemed to have significant weight on my grade. Having said all that, it’s a flaw that I found much easier to overlook in the midst of battle when I sent my wolf legion ahead of me, biting and tearing its way through a cluster of enemies, while I hung back inside of my punching legion, finally able to fulfill my years-long Star Platinum “ora ora ora” fantasies.

5. Anodyne 2: Return to Dust (PC) - There’s a lot going on in Anodyne 2, and I fear trying to describe it in words, not only because of all the jargon I’d inevitably have to use, but also because I’m not sure I can do the game justice. To that end, here’s a brief trailer of the game to get you started:

youtube

If you find that trailer at all intriguing, Anodyne 2 is definitely for you. And if you’re still skeptical, know that the game has far more to offer than just its (beautiful) low-poly aesthetic. While visually it’s obviously most evoking Playstation 1 era games such as Mega Man Legends, in terms of the tone of its writing it strikes a pretty peculiar balance between Earthbound and Nier: Automata (names I do not invoke lightly!). The visuals aren’t just an aesthetic choice, either - throughout the game you find yourself in 2D overhead areas, solving puzzles inside of the minds of other characters, and these varying layers of abstraction serve to further the game’s message and atmosphere. And it’s all of these things combined that pushed Anodyne 2 over the edge of “memorable” and into the realm of “haunting” for me.

It’s a game that wants to be played and experienced by everyone; you can tell how much love was put into every single corner of the world, every line of dialogue, and each and every single goofy joke. Steven Universe (another seeming inspiration of the developers) is the only other piece of media that has reminded me of just how lost and alone I’ve felt at various stages of life, while choosing not to dwell on that and instead using it as a launching pad to remind me of just how far I’ve come. As the game itself says, Anodyne 2 is a game about life, and I’ve rarely come across one that felt so full of it.

4. Judgment (PS4) - With the release of Yakuza 0 a couple of years ago, the Yakuza games went from a series I was vaguely aware of in my periphery to maybe my all-time favorite video game comfort food. They’re silly, melodramatic, sad, and beautiful, tonally swinging back and forth like a large imposing guard wildly trying to hit Kiryu with a couch section. Most importantly, they manage to feel heartfelt and personal in an age where high budget games seldom feel anything of the sort. I was initially hesitant, then, to play a spinoff that threw aside its entire cast of established characters for a crew that dabbles in detective and lawyer work; I didn’t think there was much of a chance that this new band of very handsome crimeboys with hearts of gold would be able to compare to Kiryu, Majima and the like. How glad I was to be wrong, as Judgment is now maybe my favorite of the Yakuza games I’ve played.

By pulling further out (but not completely away) from the culture of organized crime as the central driving factor of the story, you no longer need to memorize a dozen different yakuza organizations and all of their subsidiaries and patriarchs within, nor do you have to try and remember which side is feuding with who. And that isn’t to say that the story doesn’t have just as many twists and turns; it does, and despite the larger scale of the stakes, ends up feeling more focused and personal. I also found it easy to bond with the two main characters, Yagami and Kaito, as not only do their personalities play off of each other very well, but they simply share more screentime together than I’ve ever seen Kiryu get a chance to do with anyone. Truly, the story ended up being one of my favorites in the entire medium, and I fell in love with the characters to the point where I got misty eyed during the credits.

With regards to gameplay, it’s a Yakuza game. Which means a lot of running around Kamurocho, talking and shopping and playing minigames and brawling. Since the player character in this entry is a detective, there are various mechanics and events related to the profession, such as investigating crime scenes and tailing suspects, but they’re by far the weakest part of the game, and you shouldn’t come to this game looking for incredible detective gameplay. Instead, come to the game for literally everything else it offers, because it’s a fantastic experience all around, and a great jumping on point for anyone unfamiliar with Yakuza.

*Image credit: Steam user Symbol

3. Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice (PS4/Xbox One/PC) - Frankly, I did not much care for Sekiro for the majority of my first play through. Specifically, I dreaded its boss fights. To go from the sheer joy of being able to dispatch a courtyard full of enemies in any way I pleased in the game’s relatively free form stealth sections, to being killed in a matter of two or three hits to every single boss and miniboss was frustrating; how could I not groan when I started that duel with Genichiro at the top of the castle, knowing full well that I was going to be stuck there for a few (or more) frustrating hours? It wasn’t until the fight against the protagonist’s father figure, Owl, hours later at the same location as the aforementioned Genichiro fight, that something clicked. It only took around 30 hours, but suddenly, instead of approaching the situation like a Dark Souls or Bloodborne boss, I was not only being defensive, but I was being aggressively defensive, parrying nearly every single blow. Suddenly it was me standing in place, baiting out my opponent’s attacks only to throw the force of his own momentum back at him. Suddenly combat made sense in this damn game. And suddenly I was dead again in a quick three hits after inhaling some magic gas that prevented me from being able to heal. But that was ok! Because suddenly this game was amazing, and suddenly I had completed it four times and adored every second of it (except for that fucken four form final boss with no checkpoints).

I still stand by my (and a lot of other’s) original complaint that the disparity between the freedom offered in the rest of the game compared to the unflinchingly rigid roadmap you have to follow in fighting the bosses is jarring game design, and it’s very fun to imagine a version of Sekiro that lets you approach bosses any which way you like. On the other hand, no other game that I’ve ever played, not even Sekiro’s predecessor and my favorite game of this console generation, Bloodborne, has come anywhere close to making me feel this cool when fighting bosses. And that’s a mighty impressive accomplishment on any game’s part, speaking from the perspective of an overweight, sweaty, hairy, very uncool man.

But really, fuck that final boss though.

2. Dragon Quest Builders 2 (Switch/PS4/PC) - When we were around 10-years-old, one of my best friends, Patrick, used to host fairly regular Lego-building sleepovers, where everyone built whatever they wanted, and our creations were then showcased to the rest of the group. Being that the group consisted entirely of pre-pubescent boys, this meant building various robots or cars, all of variable quality/ability to stand upright. During one of these nights, in lieu of the usual deathbot piloted by the ghost minifig, I instead constructed a little bunker for the ghost - a place where, after a long day of being forced (by me) to pilot his mech suit and commit unspeakable acts, he could hang up his ghost hat and be forced (by me) to ponder the morality of his actions. It was just a tiny little room with the necessities: bed, table, bookshelves and pizza, but when presenting it to my friends I proudly declared that the bunker was also located at the bottom of the ocean, a factor that couldn’t be visually represented due to the harsh limits of time, Lego pieces and my ability. I was pretty proud of my cool-down chamber, but if memory serves correctly, it was Patrick’s no doubt boorish creation that was the apple of everyone’s eye. And who am I to try and convince a room full of my peers that actually, a secluded room where you could read in peace for all eternity was much cooler than a punching gorilla bot?

This is all to say that I have never been a creative type, especially when it comes to building. I had previously played Minecraft and the first Dragon Quest Builders, and while I enjoyed them, there wasn’t quite enough there to make me want to engage with them on a level beyond just playing them like any other game - I don’t think I ever built anything in DQB1 that wasn’t required for the sake of progression in the main story, and the less said about my Minecraft efforts the better. Builders 2 expertly sidesteps this issue by wrapping its building mechanics around an engaging and hearfelt story (I got teary-eyed multiple times!), great characters (especially the main character’s mysterious best friend/partner in crime, Malroth) and a lovely localization. It also encourages more freeform building than the previous game by tying the progression of the story to the progression of your main, customizable island. You don’t ever really have to go off into the weeds on your own in regards to building, but the game gives you so many opportunities to fill in the blanks on premade templates that you eventually just become comfortable in doing so. It’s hard to stop myself from gushing about the game, to the point where as I type this I’m questioning why it’s “only” number 2 on this list.

And thanks to DQB2, for the first time in 20 years I revisited my first creative endeavor: the underwater solitude bunker, this time no longer held back by the technology of the day, instead fully realized in digital form. Built as far down as the game would allow my character to dig, hidden beneath the still waters of a reservoir inside of a pyramid, it is truly a testament to mankind’s ingenuity. And it is wicked. Naturally I had my artist (and DQB2 fanatic) girlfriend visit my game’s world so she bask in my true brilliance. I gleefully guided her down to the catacombs and down the intimidatingly long chain that dangled into the deceptively still depths. After a brief swim into the murky unknown, we arrived at our hidden destination at the bottom of the earth, where she was greeted by the sight of my submerged masterpiece. A wry smile snaked itself around my lips, as I knew, was absolutely certain, that within seconds, once she had made it through the de-pressurization chamber at the entrance to my paradise, I would be hearing the words of someone simultaneously shocked, awed, and hopefully only a bit jealous. Instead, I was met with a few seconds of silence followed by a patronizing “Well, I’d have never thought to build something like this.”

So, I guess that’s why Builders 2 couldn’t quite reach the number one spot: true art is never appreciated in its time.

1. Hypnospace Outlaw (PC) - No piece of commercial art has ever felt like it was made for me in the way that Hypnospace Outlaw does. I grew up on the internet during the time period this game’s alternate reality take on the 90s internet is drawing its inspiration from; I have talked at length, to anyone who will listen, about how this early incarnation of the internet felt more like a physical space than it does now, and how much I miss the days of stumbling on to weird Geocities sites, meeting people in AOL chatrooms, and the early days of pirating. I met my first girlfriend through the internet, as well as my current one. The vast majority of the friends I’ve made in my life would not have happened without the internet, and not just because of distance; the internet allowed the younger me to be the person I was too insecure to be in person, and to develop my own voice. I owe who I am to the people I met in freeware fanmade Dragonball Z games and IRC chat rooms, and I think that’s kind of fucked up and magical, and it’s all kind of a miracle that I’m not even more of a mess of a person than I am today. And the developers of this game have clearly had those experiences, too.

I’m not going to sit here and tell you that Hypnospace Outlaw is for everyone, because it’s absolutely not. It’s essentially a detective game, but you’re solving cases by investigating user made internet pages circa 1997, and the “cases” you’re working on are largely things like bullying and copyright infringement. In other words, you’re mostly just reading gaudy websites and figuring out more about the back end and exploits of the Hypnospace experience. It is incredibly specific and niche and, as someone that sorely misses staying up until 3 AM downloading Winamp skins, I can’t stop thinking about this game, even months later.

I wrote a longer piece on the game on this very blog, and instead of rehashing anymore of it here, I’ll just direct you that way. Though if I may, I’d like to give one last endorsement for the game for any hypothetical person reading this that’s on the fence about trying it - if you’re the kind of person that somehow finds yourself reading this game of the year list, and have made it this far down the page without getting bored, I promise you that you’ll find something to love about Hypnospace Outlaw.

Honorable mentions (for games that were either not originally released in 2019 or I still wanted to briefly touch on):

Dragon Quest 11 S: Echoes of an Elusive Age - Definitive Edition (Switch) - Somewhere in between listing the original release of Dragon Quest 11 as my 7th favorite game of 2018 and now, it went from being “a really great JRPG” to “one of the best games I’ve ever played”, and in all honesty should have probably been at the top of last year’s list. A beautiful, unmatched experience all around.

Overcooked! 2 (Switch/PS4/Xbox One/PC) - The Overcooked games are possibly the best coop games I’ve ever played by merit of them actually requiring communication between players. Framing the game’s mechanics around cooking food, a universally understood act, is brilliant.

Baba is You (Switch/PC) - This is the most clever puzzle game I’ve ever played. Hell, it’s probably the most clever game I’ve ever played period. What prevented me from truly falling in love with it was that every single puzzle after the first couple of worlds became the hardest thing I’ve ever tried to do in my life. And while that did make solving those puzzles equally satisfying, the thought of dedicating multiple hours each to stumbling through dozens and dozens more of single screen puzzles was a bit more than I was able to handle. Still, for any puzzle fans, there are some genuinely jaw-dropping moments in this that shouldn’t be missed.

Kirby’s Dreamland 3 (Switch/SNES) - The things I didn’t like about DL3 as a single player game are exactly what makes it a great coop Kirby game, which was a way to play this game that I never had the pleasure of experiencing until this year when it was re-released on the SNES Switch app. It’s skyrocketed up my list of favorite Kirby games, as well as become my favorite SNES coop game. Also, Gooey.

Kind Words (lo fi chill beats to write to) (PC) - I don’t quite qualify this as a game, as it’s more of a message in a bottle app with a very warm and charming aesthetic. But if you’ve ever wanted to anonymously reach out to strangers and tell them things are going to be all right while listening to some calming music, this is the thing for you.

Luigi’s Mansion 3 (Switch) - I have a deep, deep fondness for all three of the Luigi’s Mansion games (the GameCube and the original game were my first launch day purchases!), and 3 is by far the best game in the series. Every single moment of it was some high degree of charming and/or cute, and it’s a game I would feel confident in recommending to just about everybody. However, while I truly loved my time with the game and will no doubt replay it years down the road, there was nothing inside of it that really left any kind of deep impression on me. It’s a summer blockbuster in a kid-friendly spooky form, and that’s great for what it is.

Super Mario Maker 2 (Switch) - Mario Maker 2, sequel to what I would consider to possibly be the best game Nintendo’s ever made, is by far and away my most disappointing game of the year. It’s still an amazing toolkit, and I’ve been very satisfied with the levels I ended up making. That said, the gaming landscape has changed a lot in the 5 years between the original and the sequel, and with Nintendo’s nigh complete silence regarding updates coming to the game, I can’t consider it to be anything but a massive disappointment. And maybe that will change! But as of this posting, there’s been almost nothing to keep me coming back to the game a mere few months into its life, and that’s a huge problem. All of that said, it’s still a fantastic game and value, especially if (like most) you didn’t get a chance to play the original due to the console it was stuck on.

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freshlyjuicedbeetles · 5 years

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Drakgo Fic - Gap

Drakken feels weird about how much older he is than Shego when meeting her friends.

Drew Theodore P. Lipsky AKA the infamous Dr. Drakken had overcome many obstacles in his life. He fought Kim Possible more times than he could count (and he could count pretty high). He managed to evade punishment for his many dastardly deeds in the past. Even when he was captured, prison wasn’t that bad; a Hannibal Lecter-esque high tech cell that sounded alarms every time his back popped is quite cozy once you get used to the electronic hum. Although, meeting his wife’s best friends was one obstacle he wasn’t sure he could conquer successfully.

Drakken had already met Shego’s immediate family with mixed results within the first few months of them dating. Not that Shego cared if he met her family but she couldn’t deny how awkward it would be if the first time they met her husband was at the wedding (even if they did elope). Her brother Heath turned up the machismo and pulled the ‘if you hurt my baby sister blah blah blah…” Michael seemed annoyed that he was dragged into this and had better things to do. The twins Wesley and William didn’t care, just a quick hi and they ran off to play. Her mother, Kate, thankfully, seemed to be the only one with a good head on her shoulders and only a little intimidating. Her father, well, Shego hasn’t spoken to him in a long time. He was invalid in her mind. Drakken meeting her friends was an actual priority for Shego. It took some orchestrating since they went to different colleges and lived in different states but finally made it work for a long weekend together.

They were throwing a small housewarming party. For many years, home was a lab that happened to have living quarters for Drakken and Shego and barracks for the henchman. Now, the lab was across town. Global Justice didn’t like them on too long of a leash. They managed to get out many of their personal belongings from all the past lairs (after GJ checked them of course) before destroying the lairs. That didn’t stop Drakken from starting a new lab down in the basement…

He didn’t know what to expect at first. The Mothman? A Chupacabra? A pack of wild wolves? Drakken couldn’t imagine Shego having normal friends, especially when her life changed drastically at such a young age. So, he did some sleuthing. Okay, okay, he searched Shego’s friend's list on Facebook. If he had an actual lab at home, he could unleash his real computer skillz.

Savannah Coffman, 27, BFA in visual arts, working towards her Masters, both from CalArts; unemployed.

Jill Nesbitt, 26, BBA, owns her own business in New Orleans. One citation for yelling ‘come at me, bro!’ at a living statue street performer.

Okay, nothing too alarming.

As their arrival time drew near, Commodore Puddles was put outside in the fenced backyard with water and plenty of toys to keep him busy. He really did not like company. When the doorbell rang, he started barking furiously and running back and forth to each side gate and back to the backdoor. How dare those filthy humans not let him have his prey!

“Don’t be weird,” Shego whispered harshly, before opening the door.

“Stephanie!” Jill and Savannah screeched, excitedly.

They enveloped Shego in a tight hug. Drakken was surprised that Shego didn’t seem to mind, even reciprocated. She didn’t let just anybody touch her. There were times when she wasn’t crazy that he was hugging her.

Drakken stood there in awkwardly as they greeted each other, complimenting each other’s looks and remarking on how long it had been since they last seen each other.

“Guys,” Shego said, nodding her head towards Drakken.

“Wow, you aren’t what I was expecting,” Jill said.

“Thanks?” Drakken replied, not sure how to take it.

Savannah studied him, “Yeah, I guess I expected the tall and dark type.”

“Yeah,” Jill added, “You guys were evil and whatnot at one point. You kinda look like my dad, but on a bad day.”

“I mean, he has a scar…”

“He got it from shaving,” Shego said, barely holding back laughter.

Jill got very close to Drakken’s face, who tried to lean away “What’s with the blue veins?” She asked Shego.

“Okay!” Shego interrupted, “This is Drew.” She said as she pulled Jill away from him.

They exchanged awkward hellos. Drakken already wanted to find a cave and hide.

Shego quickly ushered them into the living room while handing Drakken the bottle of wine Jill had brought that was forgotten in the welcoming frenzy. He had always wanted to see New Orleans, he thought as he set out to make the drinks. Shego was more of a Jack and Diet Coke kinda gal.

“Shit Steph, you have an actual place. I practically live in a closet above my shop.” Jill said.

“Same. Student Housing.” Savannah added.

“Don’t follow my example,” Shego warned, throwing herself on the couch with her legs across it.

As Drakken prepared their drinks, the women talked hurriedly and loudly in excitement and howled with laughter. It sounded like a coven of crazed witches planning their next ritual. He was just really glad that Shego was having fun.

He brought in the drinks and sat down next to Shego, moving her legs. She scowled at him as he did so but ignored her.

“Steph, look what I found,” Jill said, pulling out a worn, furry blue photo album.

Shego’s nickname hit his ears. She was very selective with who she let address her by her real name or any part of it.

She gasped in recognition as Jill and Savannah crowded around them.

Drakken peered over Shego’s shoulder. There were pictures of the young girls at sleepovers with butterfly clips in their hair, first days of school on sunny mornings, them pulling faces in a school hallway in front of lockers (Shego had braces?!), a group picture of them at prom and at graduation. A picture taken of the girls at a dance in line for the Cha-Cha Slide with Shego dressed tight jeans, focusing on her footwork. Shego was blonde at one point!? Shego with a purple streak in her thick, raven hair, Shego and her friends scowling at the camera with thick black eyeliner circling their eyes. Shego with alternative, teased hair, sticking her tongue out.

“No!” Shego howled, covering her face in embarrassment, “Burn that thing! It’s too cringey!”

Damn. Even some of his teenage photos were in black and white. Was their age gap that severe? Some of the slang Shego used sounded like a foreign language to him. What if they had kids? Drakken didn’t want to senile before his child’s graduation.

Their age difference of ten or so years never truly crossed his mind until then. As much as they were opposites in personality, they agreed on many things. Just different enough to keep things interesting, similar enough to keep a relative peace. In fact, the only time age was an issue was with the radio setting, when Drakken wanted to listen to the 70’s or 80’s station and Shego would roll her eyes and call the music corny. That, or have no idea who was playing.

Drakken had long ago accepted the fact that Shego was way out of his league, that he was the picture of a flattered fool. Even though he was a scientist, and scientists are taught to question everything, he chose not to. He knew Shego loved him and that she was trustworthy. Still, things got to him.

“Hey, Doc, has Steph told you about the time she tripped during eight grade graduation and knocked down our entire line?”

“No, no, no,” Jill said waving her hand excitedly and putting her glass down on the coffee table. “Remember the time she projectile vomited all over Amberlynn in tenth grade and everyone called her puky-lynn until we graduated?”

“Well, she was being a bitch and I had the stomach flu. It was just good timing,” Shego replied casually, playing with her hair.

“You should have seen it! She looked like the kid from the Exorcist!”

“And she looked so proud of herself afterward!”

“I was proud of myself afterward!

They lost themselves in stories of teachers; the good, the bad and the ugly, field trips and other school memories. Feeling self-conscious, Drakken excused himself with little notice from the women.

Shego, however, noticed and could tell something was wrong. She gave him some time before slipping away while Jill and Savannah argued about who really stole Savannah’s rainbow gel pen in fourth grade. Spoiler alert, it was Shego.

She found her husband in the bedroom, “What? Do we have cooties or something?” She teased as she sat down next to him.

Drakken was lost in thought, not looking at his wife. “Am I really that old?” He finally asked, not exclusively to Shego.

Shego scoffed and rolled her eyes, “Are we really doing this?”

“Yes! I feel like I’m robbing the cradle!”

“You need to chill. Don’t put much stock into what Jill says. I’m not entirely sure she’s human.”

That got a chuckle from the scientist.

“Has anyone who we actually like cared about our age gap?” Shego urged.

“Well, Mother was concerned- “

Shego cut him of dismissively, “She doesn’t count. Look, we’ve been through a lot of stuff together. How many times have we been separated because one of us was in jail and yet we got right back to where we were like it never happened? Drew. I hate to admit these kinda things, but you are more mature and wiser than me. How often do I rush into something stupid and you pull me back, telling me to think?”

The time she wanted to spend a good chunk of her bank account on a new purse when what she really needed was a new pair of boots for her suit came to mind.

And the time she really wanted to go BASE jumping while she was recovering from a concussion brought on by Ron Stoppable.

And anytime she speeds or runs a red light.

Despite all the stress he felt worrying for her general safety, she did keep things interesting.

“Not just that, remember the time we decided we wanted to go see the Northern Lights on the spur of the moment and we just kept traveling for nearly a month? Or that mosh pit at the Ghost concert last Halloween? Naked Twister? What about Rex the crocodile? She wouldn’t have survived if we didn’t take care of her for that month after she was injured in that hurricane. Tell me, would some broad your age go for all those things? I’m even including the crazy and exciting things we did and still get to do as part of our jobs!” She said.

Shego sat down on Drakken’s lap, wrapped her arms around him and looked into his eyes, “You aren’t the type of guy I’d date, let alone marry, but those guys were actual idiots. I don’t know how they’re still alive, whether from forgetting to breathe or staring at the sun for too long. I found out that I want substance in a guy and to have an actual conversation with my significant other. I found out that that’s what I want.”

Drakken smiled contently, “Thank you, Stephanie. I love you.”

“I love you, Drew.”

They sealed their proclamations with a kiss.

“You’re still a doofus though,” Shego said once they pulled away.

Drakken groaned. She could only be so nice.

“Are we good?” She asked.

Drakken nodded.

“Great, because Amberlynn lives around here and we’re gonna go egg her house,” Shego said, grinning deviously.

“I’ll drive and get my bat to knock over her mailbox!” Drakken replied giddily.

“See? We’re still a perfect team!”

#drakgo #drakken #shego

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mentiormusa-blog · 5 years

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The Portrayal of Satanism and How it Affects the Youth of Today

Preface

Growing up, I always had a pretty decent idea of what was good and what was evil. I knew that cops were the good guys and the robbers were the bad guys and I knew that Batman was the hero and the Joker was the villain. But I guess the most prominent example I knew of regarding the power struggle of morality was the battle between God and the Devil, with God being the bringer of life and the Devil being the evil incarnate. But, in more recent times, with society becoming more open when it comes to one’s belief, the idea of Satan or, more appropriately, Lucifer, being a misunderstood bringer of justice has become a more accepted concept among the younger population. This is only because of how he is presented in works of fiction like the Fox television show Lucifer, which is, in turn, based off of the DC comic series of the same name. The show follows Lucifer, the archangel who was cast out of heaven for refusing to follow his father’s orders, as he sets out to bring justice upon the criminals of L.A. This backstory can also be seen in the television show, Supernatural, where he is still a villain of the story but is given a sense of humanity for the pain he feels for being cast out by the father he loved.

Background

The Church of Satan, which is one of more the commonly referenced branches of Satanism, was founded in 1960 by Anton Szandor Lavey in the United States. Laveyan Satanism has the core belief of more humanistic values, which prioritizes the betterment of oneself. Satan, being the symbol of the religion, represents self assertion, rebellion against unjust authority, vital existence, and “undefiled wisdom.”

Lavey learned much about the occult and ritual-magic teachings during his time as a carnival worker and, in 1966, incorporated them in the tenants of the church he founded on the Walpurgisnacht, or April 30th (which is referred to as May eve). In 1969, he sat down and recorded these beliefs and teachings in the Satanic bible. They also participated in rituals designed to encourage members to develop their sense of self-importance and to cast away their past lives full of submissiveness.

But what appeals to people the most are the Satanic Commandments that Lavey conjured up within this bible. The 11 Satanic commandments are:

Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.

Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.

When in another’s lair, show him respect or else do not go there.

If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.

Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.

Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and he cries out to be relieved.

Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.

Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.

Do not harm little children.

Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.

When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.

Not only do these promote a more open religion for the impressionable gen z, but it also appeals to a more open society as a whole. These commandments are comparable to the ideals that have been seen more frequently within this evolving society, especially with the obvious disdain for sexual assault, child abuse, animal abuse, and being an overall nuisance.

Interview one (Axel Garcia, 17)

I was on the phone with my first subject, Axel Garcia, when the matter was brought up. Me and him have discussed both religion and the existence of an afterlife many times before this. Upon beginning the interview, I noticed that he was at ease and the topic itself did not bother him. 1

What is your Religious affiliation?

“I’m not a very religious person, I need evidence in order to believe in something so I’d say that I’m agnostic.”

When you hear the terms Satan and Satanism, what comes to mind?

“Evil and the flames of the hell for Satan and people who do not like God.”

How do you think media portrays Satan and Satanism?

“Some portray him as the king of darkness and the prince of all evil, while others portray him as this cool, chill guy who’s trying to become good.”

Would you say that this portrayal have affected the way you view them?

“As a kid, everytime he was mentioned, I thought, ‘Holy Crap, it’s the devil, he’s gonna punish me if I don’t behave,’ but as I got older, I started to think for myself and with shows like Lucifer and even kids shows sometimes painting him out to be just another person doing what he needs to do really impacted my views.”

Interview two (Matthew Krug, 17)

The next person I interviewed was Matthew Krug. I asked him first if it was okay to interview him on the matter and, to my suprise, he was excited. The day of the interview, he kept texting me about how excited he was regarding it and how he could not wait to do it.

What is your religious affiliation?

“I was born Roman Catholic but up until a couple years ago, I have not been as religious and I now recognize myself as agnostic.”

When you hear the term satanism, what comes to mind?

“When I was younger, Satanism was just...Satanism; they worship the devil, sacrifice babies and all that. But now, with the more that I have learned about them, I see them as more independent as anything else. The whole thing about Satanism is being independent from religion or God and that is really being a service to yourself than to a higher power.”

When you hear the term Satan, what comes to mind?

“Well, because of popular media and stuff like that, the term Satan and the Devil will obviously be coincided with evil and bad, but right now, Satan is just...Satan, I don’t really feel a certain way about the word or have any negative or positive connotations with it.”

How do you think media portray Satan and Satanism?

“Obviously, since the world is run by religion, Satan and Satanism are portrayed as the bad guys and evil.”

Would you say that this portrayal have affected the way you view them?

“No, because I know it’s just pop culture; it’s just media putting their two-cents in.”

If you had to stereotype a Satanist, how would you describe them?

“The stereotypical ones are the people who draw pentagrams in lambs blood and sacrifice virgins and babies. But, as I see them now, they’re just people trying to believe in and follow a certain ideological standpoint and deity just like everyone else. I’m not going to persecute them for that.

Interview three (Christopher Dellinger)

The next person I decided to interview was my father, who is active in the music scene. Having played in numerous rock and alternative bands for the past couple of decades, I decided to speak with him about the matter. When the topic was brought up, I noticed that he was passionate about it. The questions for this interview went more in depth than the other ones.

What is your religious affiliation?

“Christian.”

When you hear the term Satan, what comes to mind?

“The Devil, a two-horned man with red skin and a goatee. The father of evil, the one who crushes the universe.”

When you hear the term Satanism, what comes to mind?

“A group of impressionable people who made up their views based off of a fictitious book written by Anton Lavey (Satanic Bible) in the 1960 who don’t really have a clue on what goes on.”

How would you say that Satan and Satanism is portrayed in media?

“It’s glorified, to make Satan seem like a superhero and is portrayed as something spooky, yet cool, which is not a good interpretation. Unfortunately, if there is a good and an evil, Hell is not going to be a party. If you go to Hell, you’re screwed; there is not this big rock and roll party in the streets where you get to hang out with your bros and jam out to Ozzy Osbourne and eat barbecue. So the portrayal is misguiding.”

Would you say that this portrayal has affected the way younger generations see him?

“Yes, because they blur the lines between good and evil and they glorify satan by thinking that Satan is actually good and could be something possible when it’s not.”

Would you say that this portrayal have affected the way you view them?

“Kind of, because it makes me dislike the fake Satanists, the people that believe in Anton Lavey, that do not have a good understanding of good and evil and think that they could have created a religion in the 1960’s. They claim that they are their own God and that they don’t believe in it while denouncing the bible.”

How do you feel about the younger generations viewing Satan as this anti-hero, in a way?

“Unfortunately, they’re just misguided, and don’t have a proper understanding of the religion or what Satanism actually is.”

Since you’re in the heavy metal scene and have been for awhile, how would you say that this portrayal has affected rock and roll?

“There’s a funness about it because there is rebellion such as ACDC’s Highway to Hell. Heavy metal has been associated with Satan. Members of Slayer have actually said that they’re catholics and it’s all for show. Marilyn Manson has had a career on being a priest at the Church of Satan and using Satan as a platform. But, in the end of the day, it’s all theatrics and, in that aspect, it’s fun for Halloween and shock rock. It’s fun as rebellion, but as long as the lines aren’t crossed and someone doesn’t commit an act of evil, then it’s fine. Partying with the devil seems like a great idea, but at the end of the day, as long as those lines aren’t blurred, it’s entertainment and shouldn’t be taken more than face value.”

Would you say that this portrayal is affecting the way kids see religion?

“Yes, it’s changing to an extent but there is always been young people that have rebelled against their parents. It’s just comes in different forms and now it might be more open, but it is what it is. Kids will always rebel against what their parents want for them until they are parents and the cycle just repeats itself.”

Conclusion

Going into this topic, I initially thought that Satanism and Satan were prime components of society that affected children but, the more research that I did, the more I realized that this issue could actually be viewed as an overlying theme and broken into a cluster of smaller pieces meant for a grander puzzle; glorification, societal acceptance, the change of religious importance, and rebellion.

With glorification and societal acceptance, which can both be tied into each other, one could infer that this type of response only happens when society allows for it. The idea of living in a society in which has become more accepting to unconventional practices, allows for this newer generation, who are leading members of this more liberal movement, to find an interest in a ideal that has previously been found as ludicrous and taboo. This, in turn, creates a worldwide mindset where people can, in a sense, exist in a moral purgatory; where life and, more specifically, morality, is not so black and white. Where something that should be inherently evil can have the possibility of being viewed as something else. And Laveyan Satanism caters to that by turning Satan into a symbol of acceptance.

As for teenage rebellion and religious importance, which can also be tied into each other, Satan is only an example of an outlet for children to rebel against an ‘unjust authoritarian figure,’ aka their parents (which correlates to the very symbolism this figure has within the religion). With Satan being such a prominent figure for being on the opposite end of the spectrum of conventional thinking and beliefs, teens are drawn to him for shock value. Plus, with how he is portrayed as this symbol of freedom, free thinking, and a live-for-yourself mentality, it is no surprise that teens wouldn’t see him as something entirely evil for they see a piece of themselves within the illusionary mask of the devil. And, if religion plays an important role within their upbringing, it is more likely for them to follow this path in order to spite their parents and drift away from family-set expectations.

#essays #ethnography #highschool essays

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littlemisssquiggles · 6 years

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RWBY Musings #50: Oscar’s Great and Powerful Semblance A Squiggle Meister’s Views on ThatKaitoDan’s RWBY Theory.

megashadowdragon asked “what are your thoughts www(.)youtube(.)com/watch?v=9YElXr5_Mqw”

Squiggles Answers:

Well first off, appreciative shout out to both @che1sea-xiao-long and @megashadowdragon for sharing this video with me.

I actually really, REALLY like ThatKaitoDan’s theory on Oscar’s possible semblance being sealing---the ability to permanently take away someone’s ability to use their semblance in combat.

I like Dan’s concept because I appreciated how he was able to connect it back to Princess Ozma---the Wizard of Oz character that many RWBY theorists have speculated Oscar to be influenced by. So that titbit I enjoyed the most about his theory commentary. If Oscar’s semblance does have a sealing kind of effect then I can anticipate it being what finally stops Hazel Rainart in his tracks, should he and Oscar have their inevitable rematch.

The last time our heroes faced off against this rampaging juggernaut, none of them were successful to stop him. Neither the combined efforts of everyone teaming up to combat him nor Weiss utilizing her summons amplified by Jaune’s semblance was enough to thwart Hazel. Hazel, with his own semblance that enables him to block out pain, is a nearly unstoppable villain which currently places him as a very unbeatable foe.

The heroes were fortunate enough that the arrival of the Mistral authorities and the announcement of Cinder’s fall was what caused Hazel to retreat with Emerald and Mercury. If the battle had been allowed to continue, I don’t think they would’ve fared well.

Though Oz did make mention of Hazel having a ‘limit’ to his semblance, this still makes him dangerous because if Hazel can take being empowered by two shards of dust crystals into his body, then how much can he take? What exactly is Hazel’s limit?

I’m curious to know just how many dust crystals Hazel can take before he completely overloads himself on power. And even if he does combust from all the energy within the crystals, I don’t think a still rampaging and unstable Hazel Rainart will be any less a threat against our heroes.

Here’s what I think. I think in a rematch, Hazel will use so much dust that he’ll literally risk killing himself in the process. He’ll lose control and put his life at death’s doorstep. I think it’s in a moment like that where Oscar possessing a power that can seal or perhaps nullify another’s semblance would be a powerful asset. It’s what I think could be a very key factor in finally stopping Hazel.

Picture a crazed Hazel transforming himself into a human dust golem, no longer able to control the power being emitting from the embedded dust in his body. It’s in this moment where Oscar gets a crazy idea to climb on top of Hazel’s back.

Removing both of his gloves so that he can have better physical contact, Oscar uses the full extent of his semblance on Hazel; nullifying his abilities. This tactic works as it slows Hazel’s movements. With his pain resistance switched off a la Oscar Pine, Hazel begins to thrash around, now wreathing from the excruciating pain with Oscar holding on for dear life but still managing to keep the giant man neutralized.

This will later allow for the other heroes to quickly remove the dust shards from Hazel, ending his tirade. I figured this would’ve been how they defeated Hazel during the Haven Battle but no, the most we got was Nora Valkyrie going all supercharged on him and whaling him through the front door. This still by the way, didn’t stop Hazel either.

As I said already, the next time the heroes go up against Hazel, I doubt they’ll be able to stop him like last time. Not to mention that I figured a rematch with Hazel would be the best opportunity for Oscar to unlock his semblance in the heat of battle. The events of V4-V5 already set up Hazel being a sort of arch nemesis to both Oscar and Ozpin so if I had to predict a perfect time for our veteran farm boy turned wizard incarnate to awaken his own hidden power, it would be then. But this is just my assumption.

If Oscar can disable Hazel’s semblance then he can finally stop the juggernaut.

In Dan’s theory video, he referenced the scene from V1 C6 where Pyrhha used some of her aura to unlock Jaune’s. Another lovely tie in since I don’t hear folks often talk about that scene.

Speaking of which, there’s something I’d like to point out about that particular moment. As Pyrhha unlocked Jaune’s aura, she recited something:

“…For it in passing that we achieve immortality, through this we become a paragon of virtue and glory to rise above us, infinite in distance and unbound by death. I release your soul and by my shoulder, protect thee...”

I made note of this in my RWBY Recap of Volume 1. In my notes, I asked myself if it was absolutely necessary for Pyrhha to recite this whenever using her aura to unlock another’s. Almost like a little spell or ritual incantation of some sort. I’m curious about this since it was never mentioned or brought up again. We haven’t even seen another character use this technique after Pyrhha.

I call attention to this quote because its words make me wonder something.

Pyrhha said ‘For it is in passing that we achieve immortality, through this we become a paragon of virtue and glory to rise above us, infinite in distance and unbound by death…’---why does this line somehow make me feel like Pyrhha is somehow still alive. Not physically but like…perhaps spiritually.

If Remnant is a world where super powered human beings, monsters, immortal beings and magic exist as part of the norm then surely supernatural beings such as ghosts and spirts are plausible things too, right? It shouldn’t be too farfetched if there are spirits who roam Remnant, right?

I can’t shake this inkling of a feeling that after she died, because of her virtuous nature and her willingness to sacrifice herself for the sake of protecting her school and loved ones, that Pyrhha basically cheated death and returned as this sentinel spirit that now guards Beacon including the Vault of the Fall Maiden.

Ozpin mentioned back in V5 that he made things very difficult to find the Vault of the Fall Maiden. So my idea is that the Vault of the Fall Maiden is probably constructed like some kind of labyrinth with many hidden rooms and equally hidden traps and puzzles.

I sincerely hope that Fall’s Vault is more fortified because what disappointed me about the Spring Maiden’s Vault was that it wasn’t as reinforced as I expected it to be.Another point is that Oz chose Pyrhha as a candidate to become the next Fall Maiden, right? Imagine how interesting it would be if Pyrhha’s Spirit went on to become some kind of Guardian of the Vault or Beacon Academy.

I don’t care if her physical body got turned to ash. May Pyrhha’s spirit return as an eternal hero, still continuing to protect her school from beyond the freaking grave, dagnabbit? A squiggle meister can only dream.

Anyways, back to talking about Oscar. Although I really do like Dan’s idea, I’m still standing by my own theory about Oscar having a mind semblance. While Dan’s theory connected to Oscar’s character influence, I based my idea more so on Oscar’s personality or…at least my interpretation of what little glimpses of it we saw last season.

As you guys know, V5 C5 was my all-time favourite episode of the last season purely for the scene between Oscar and Ruby. I love how Oscar was able to get Ruby to finally open up about how she truly felt regarding everything she’s been through since V3. Oscar has only known Ruby for a couple of weeks during that time and already he was able to do more for her than what any other character has done in just one scene.

Not to mention that he even attempted to do the same with Hazel by trying to reason with him during their fight.

That whole impression of connecting to others---understanding the way they think and feel and ultimately helping them come to their senses and thus assist them from within--- I figured these traits could be adapted into a strong mental semblance where Oscar is able to connect to other’s via their mind---seeing their memories, reading their thoughts and thus understanding them from an empathic point of view that wouldn’t require much physical effort. It’d be a supportive power as Dan mentioned in his video.

I based that purely on his current predicament being connected to Ozpin and forced to share a mind space with him while also considering Oscar’s inclination to want to reach out and understand others; be it ally or foe.

Not as fleshed out as Dan’s but…I really do like the idea of Oscar’s power having something to do with his mind. After all, the mind is a fragile thing and it represents the uncharted inner corridors of one’s very being.

Can you imagine a character having power over that especially if they’re a hero?

I also dig this concept because it also provides the threat of Oscar being able to possible control; manipulate someone’s thoughts and/or possibly destroying their mind.

I just have this thought of Oscar letting his emotions get the better of him and becoming so furious that he uses his mental semblance to stop someone and the results leaves the person either brain dead, brain damaged or at least mentally unstable.

For all the Young Justice fans in the FNDM community, remember how in Invasion, Miss Martian turned Aqualad into a vegetable after becoming angry and overdoing it with her telepathy powers on him? That’s how I figured it would be for Oscar.

We rarely talk about the dark implications a powerful semblance can have on a victim.

While Dan sees Oscar being like Eraserhead from My Hero Academia, I was more leaning towards a Professor Xavier from X-Men kind of power for Oscar.

In a way, I think both can work really well cause they tie into Oscar as a character. As a matter of fact, I’d like to take both Dan’s idea and my own and combine the two together.

Theory Fusion Activate!

Oz mentioned that one’s semblance can grow and evolve, right?

So what if…Oscar’s semblance is Nullification. He unlocks the ability to disable one from using their semblance for a period of time depending on his aura levels. In the beginning, he’s only able to use this power by making physical contact with said person but in time, with more training, his ability evolves to the point where he’s able to nullify another' with his mind. While doing this places a bit of mental strain on Oscar’s part, the mental nullification proves more effective than the physical version.

Not sure how much this makes sense in the context of Ruby but it can work. It takes the best parts of both mine and Dan’s ideas and merge them to form something plausible for Oscar to have.

My reasoning behind wanting Oscar to possess a mind or mental-based semblance is because at the moment, Emerald Sustrai is the only mental-based semblance user in the cast and she’s with the villains.

I wanted another mental-semblance user on the side of the heroes in order to counter Emerald.

Let’s say, Emerald is fighting Oscar and tries to use her illusions on him. But because Oscar’s power is Nullification, his semblance makes him completely immune to Emerald’s tactics so he’s able to negate her illusions. That’d be awesome.

Or even better, imagine Oscar’s Nullification growing to the point where he’s able to just activate his semblance by merely looking at his opponents. So anyone who dares step within close proximity of his line of vision gets their semblance rendered useless against Oscar. The only limit to that is at first Oscar is only able to nullify one person at a time but again, with more practice and training, he can grow till his range of ability could expand to more than one person depending on his mental strength.

To make sense of how Oscar is able to do that, let’s return to my theory of his semblance being mental or becoming mental-based in time so his Nullification evolves from requiring physical contact to just a stronger mental focus. So Oscar would need to become stronger mentally to help enhance his semblance which fits into his character. This could lend to Ren providing Oscar with some mentorship in meditation and focus.

The final form would be the sealing---permanently stopping a person from using their semblance for good. As Dan already mentioned, the series pointed out that aura can be used to unlock someone’s aura and training one’s aura is what leads to them eventually unlocking their semblance, correct?

So if semblance is awakened by aura and aura can be used to awaken aura. Then what would happen should someone learn to use aura to permanently disable someone’s aura so that they can’t use their semblance?

Aura is a term in RWBY that still eludes me a bit. Aura has been described as the manifestation of the soul. So…if someone were to seal off another’s aura…couldn’t that potentially kill a person if used incorrectly? Just asking.

If Oscar does gain that kind of power in the end, then I’d imagine that it’d be a tactic Oscar would only resort to as last alternative because of the dangerous consequences of using it; not just on the victim but on Oscar himself.

Dan referred to Oscar’s sealing power being like Energy bending in Avatar the Last Airbender.

Wasn’t one of the drawbacks of energy bending that the user could be corrupted by the essence of the person who’s bending they were taking away?

I can’t recall where it was said but I think I remember the lion turtle mentioning that to Aang when they first met. I…think? Correct me if I’m wrong here guys.

But let’s say…Oscar does gain the whole sealing power as part of the final form in his Nullification Semblance. I only like the Sealing aspect of Oscar’s semblance as a last resort because I imagine a power like that could be very unsafe to use freehand. The dangers of such a power are that one, this technique could run the risk of killing the victim since we are messing with aura---meaning one’s very soul, here.

Not to mention that it places the user---Oscar at risk as well. Finally two, this technique would require a lot of aura on Oscar’s part or at least I’d imagine so. Like a lot especially to account for the victim resisting against the sealing process.

After all, Pyrhha used some of her aura to awaken Jaune’s right? So let’s say each time Oscar uses his semblance to nullify an opponent’s semblance, the effort to maintain this feat requires aura so the longer he maintains the nullification process, the more aura he drains from himself.

Somehow I’m visualizing Oscar’s nullification powers like chains that bind his enemies with an analog timer ticking down to how much longer Oscar can restrain his victim. A little exaggerated but you get the idea.

So if sealing becomes a power for Oscar to have, it’s something that could help win a fight but can also potentially kill Oscar. I know it takes away the light-hearted ease of use of Dan’s original point but…this squiggle meister thinks a power like that would come with risks. After all, with great power comes great responsibility.

But that’s just me. The more I think and elaborate on this, the more I’m really digging the concept of it.

ThatKaitoDan is a genius for coming up with this theory for Oscar’s semblance.

I doubt he’ll ever read my Tumblr post response to his theory but I would’ve loved to have heard his feedback on my add-ons to his theory. I’d love to hear his thoughts on my thoughts.

He really is onto to something awesome and his idea for Oscar’s semblance is now one of my favourites apart from my own and the combination of our two theories.

So if I had to pick which powers I can see Oscar having, it’s either a mental based power (like telepathy) or sealing or nullification---the grand combination of the two as I described in this post. That’s this squiggle meister’s thoughts on that.

ThatKaitoDan’s Oscar’s Great and Power Semblance: RWBY Theory

More Squiggles’ RWBY Content

~LittleMissSquiggles (2018)

#megashadowdragon #oscar pine #rwby theories #rwby volume 6 #thatkaitodan #squiggles answers: rwby #rwby musings

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christiemax · 6 years

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bring me the dawn

(an unfinished fic i just found in my folder)

au where robert is sent to prison, not aaron, for perverting the court of justice after evidence is found backing up ryan’s claims.

“Robert!”

He can hear Aaron even as he’s led down the steps and through a back door. The word is just a broken plea, and Robert feels his legs give a little, vision blurring. The officer’s hand on his shoulder tightens and he’s guided more firmly into the dark corridor beneath the courtroom. When the door shuts, he feels the slam like a punch to the solar plexus and it takes everything he has not to turn around, not to search for Aaron one last time, knowing he won’t be there.

“Hands out.”

The request washes over him but his body complies nonetheless, arms out in front as the officer handcuffs his wrists. The metal is cold against his skin and he shivers, feels icy sweat prickling at the base of his neck. He’s not sure what happens now. Cain had sat him down, tried to explain the ins and outs. Even Aaron had had a word, but somehow he’d not really paid attention to any of it.

It’s my first offence, they won’t send me to prison. I’ll get a fine or community service. Just you wait, you’ll all feel stupid for worrying.

His stomach lurches and he swallows hard against the acrid bile burning up his throat. He can’t be sick. Can’t show weakness. That was the only thing which had stuck with him from Cain’s little pep-talk. Let them see you’re scared and you won’t last five minutes. You need them to know you can handle yourself.

Except right now he can’t handle anything. He can barely get his feet to move as he’s led into a room . His bag is beside him and they take out his belongings, cataloguing each in turn. There isn’t much, mainly cash and underwear and Aaron’s hoodie which he didn’t even realise had been packed. His eyes sting at the sight of it and he has to turn away as they write down each item, force himself to breathe even as his lungs protest against it.

When he turns back, the officer is counting out the notes before sealing them in a marked envelope. He knows it’s going to be put in an account for him, a fund for his meals and any other items he’ll need to buy. He’s not sure how he gets access to the money, if maybe he gets a card he can use to buy food, or maybe they’ll give him an allowance… Will someone tell him before he goes inside? Will there be a manual he can read that explains it all? Or will he be expected to learn as he goes?

He knows the answer, knows that he’s on his own now and there’s no one else he’ll be able to rely on other than himself. His chest yawns open, wide and hollow and aching, desperate to feel the soft skin of Aaron’s neck against his nose, breathe him in, feel him pressed close. He won’t get that now. God knows when he’ll be able to see him again.

“Right, come on.”

Robert looks up, eyes searching, but the officer is standing by the door now, beckoning him to follow. Part of him wants to refuse, though he’s beginning to realise already that he doesn’t have that right anymore, and so eventually he shuffles back out into the corridor, minus his belongings this time.

“You’re lucky, the cell’s empty today so you’ll get a chance to be on your own for a bit,” the officer continues, his voice almost optimistic, and dread creeps into Robert’s veins like heavy clay. Every part of him feels weighted, pressing against his shoulders, his back, his head, pushing him further into the floor. The handcuffs bite a little when he twists his hand and he winces, focusing on that rather than the cell he can now see approaching.

Run.

The instinct is so strong that for a second he almost abides without thought, but then he remembers what will happen if he does. The punishment is severe enough already, but no doubt there’ll be repercussions if he decides to bolt. He can’t do anything but go along with it, following the officer into the holding cell and sitting down on the hard bench with its thin, blue mattress and white, tiled walls.

“Your barrister will probably come down in a bit once we’ve got you processed.”

“Can I see my family?” Robert asks, because frankly he never wants to see another lawyer ever again.

The officer gives him a pitying look and Robert feels a small part of himself recede, the part which was still clinging onto hope.

“’Fraid not. You’ll need to be transported to the prison first, then you’ll get a phone call. Eventually.”

A phone call.

Even the idea of it is unbearable, too much for him to process. What will he say? How will he ever make amends for this? They were supposed to be going on their honeymoon. They should have been starting the rest of their lives together… today.

The officer leaves and the cell door shuts with a clink, the lock only confirming what Robert already knows. He’s trapped, and he will be until the day they let him out. He can’t even think that far ahead. He’s not even sure he’ll make it that far.

The whole cell smells of disinfectant, the linoleum floor scrubbed clean though he can already pick out the corners where the mop hasn’t quite reached, clogged with dust and dirt and grime. The grout between the tiles is a dark grey and Robert runs a finger across the rough adhesive, feeling strangely detached from everything, like he’s floating. Maybe he’s left most of himself out there, in the real world that’s still spinning on regardless, out where Aaron is probably still shouting for him.

He presses a hand to his stomach and breathes out deeply, forces himself to focus on the squeaky floor rather than the sickening smell of bleach clinging to the insides of his nostrils. He’ll need to keep it together, need to find something inside himself to hang onto for the next however many months. He can’t fall to pieces on his first day or Cain will be right – he won’t last five minutes.

The circular indent around his wedding finger is a little red where Robert’s rubbed at the skin. He’s been so used to feeling the metal band wrapped around it that he can’t quite get used to the lightness in its absence. He brings his hand up to his mouth and kisses the place it should be, imagining it’s Aaron’s lips instead. Maybe that can be what gets him through – focusing on Aaron, on his smile and his laughter and the look in his eyes just after they’ve kissed.

Get through it for him. You have to get through it for him.

He wants to. He wants to be brave and strong, wants to hold on for Aaron’s sake. And he will. He has to. But right now he doesn’t feel brave. He feels small and young and out of his depth. He feels like he should be running to his mother for help, for comfort, for love.

Time stalls inside the cell. He has no concept of what hour it is, if minutes have passed or mere seconds. He supposes this is what it will be like from now on, days blending together into one, never really knowing one week from the next. Or maybe he’ll be the type of prisoner with a calendar by his bed, marking off each day religiously, counting it down like a ritual. He can see it now, crossing them off one by one until finally, finally, he can go home.

Home to Aaron.

There’s the echo of footsteps somewhere in the distance and he hears voices drifting down the corridor. He sits and waits, silencing the hope inside him which screams: You’re going to be freed. When he hears the lock in the door click open again he stands and is met with his barrister instead of his husband.

You should never hope.

“Mr. Sugden,” he says, stepping into the cell and holding out his hand for Robert to shake. He sits down again instead.

The lawyer remains by the door, evidently not planning on staying long, and pulls out a document from his briefcase. “Luckily they’re not taking you too far. Hotten would have been preferable but Leeds isn’t too much further-”

“Leeds?” Robert chokes out. It’s almost an hour’s drive. An hour there and back for anyone to come and see him. Will anyone even bother to make that kind of trip?

His barrister raises an eyebrow, surprised at the overreaction. “It could be much worse. I’ve had clients taken down to Liverpool, Birmingham… one was taken as far as the East Midlands. Trust me, Leeds really isn’t that bad.”

There’s a smugness to his smile which Robert wants to remove with his fist… but it’s impossible right now. It would only mean more time inside and he’s barely coping with the time he’s got to do already. He can’t afford to stay in any longer than is absolutely necessary.

“Can I appeal? The sentence, I mean.” He can’t keep the urgency from his voice, every word strained with desperation. His barrister remains unmoved, marble features sharp and hard, lips pressed together in a frown.

“You can,” he replies, though Robert notes instantly the reluctance to his tone. “Your husband’s already asked that, we’ll be putting together a case within the next few weeks. It will take time though, and I don’t want to get your hopes up.”

Robert should be focusing on the final part, the part which took his freedom and turned it into ash, but instead he’s latched onto your husband for dear life.

“How was Aaron?” he asks, and if he thought he sounded desperate before, it’s nothing compared to how he feels now. There’s a hook in his lung and it’s tugging, yanking, at just the mere mention of Aaron.

“I didn’t speak to him for very long. He was… displeased.”

Robert can read between the lines. He knows what that means. “He gave you an earful?”

The barrister sniffs, shrugs, as if he’s used to mouthy family members. Robert very much doubts he’s ever come up against someone like Aaron Dingle. His chest heaves a little with pride at the thought.

“He believes the sentence was unnecessary, something I am inclined to agree with. I wouldn’t be working on the appeal if I didn’t think there were suitable grounds.”

That gives him strength at least, though most of him still feels winded from the verdict. An hour or two ago he had been standing in a courtroom, his family behind him, and had listened to the judge explain the severity of the crime, how perverting the course of justice was a serious breach of the law, how the perpetrator of such an act could not easily make amends.

He’d known then. He’d felt it sink inside him like a stone, dug his nails into the polished wood of the stand as he drowned out Vic’s choked sobs up in the gallery. he’d barely even registered the sentencing itself, the pounding in his ears too sickeningly loud above everything else. But he read the judge’s lips, saw the words ‘one year’ as clear as anything, and heard Aaron’s immediate refusal rip through him straight afterwards.

“He did it for me!” he’d shouted as the prison officer led Robert down the steps. “Send me to prison! He didn’t do anything wrong!”

It had taken everything he had not to turn and look up. Vic was crying, Aaron was shouting, and God knows how the others were reacting… but he couldn’t bare to see it, to have that be his last memory of them before he was sent to prison. But then Aaron had started shouting his name, pleading with him, voice strained and cracking, and it had almost been enough to break him completely.

“Will you be able to visit me… when I’m… inside?” he asks haltingly, yanking himself from the memory. He can’t relive that moment, not now.

His barrister nods, flexes his fingers round the smooth leather of his briefcase handle. “I’ll come to see you as soon as we have a date for the appeal. Any new developments I imagine your husband and family will keep you informed of.”

It’s Robert’s turn to nod and he does so with vacant eyes, no longer caring all that much for what the older man has to say. It’s too far off, too impossible an idea for him to contemplate right now given that he’s about to be carted off to Leeds for… well, for a year.

Six months and then out for good behaviour, the calculating, logical side of his brain argues, but it’s almost like another slap to the face.

Six months.

183 days.

Only in Robert’s mind that translates to 183 mornings waking up in a cell rather than in bed, wrapped around Aaron. 183 dinners in a hollow canteen, eating food that tastes of nothing, rather than sitting round the table and bickering with Liv. 183 meaningless afternoons spent avoiding other prisoners rather than working on the Mill and building up Home James. 183 nights hearing the lock of a cell door rather than the soft sigh as Aaron curls up against Robert’s side.

I can’t do it. The thought punches hard against his windpipe and he swallows round the lump in his throat, tries to catch a breath even as he feels his lungs wither. There’s no way he can last six months. There’s no way he can last six days. They’ll kill him before that, all the murderers and psychopaths sharing a wing with him.

“Well, they’ll be moving you soon so I should leave. Like I said, any developments and I’ll let your husband know.”

Robert doesn’t respond. He’s not got the words and even if he did, his voice has long since abandoned him. He’s finding it hard to keep himself together, to keep his back semi-straight rather than just curling into himself and hoping it all just… goes away.

“The first night is always the hardest,” the barrister continues, rapping sharply on the cell door to get the officer’s attention, “but after that you’ll settle in fairly quickly. I imagine you’ve already been told this, but it will do you no harm to get on with your fellow inmates. No need to make friends, you won’t be there long enough for that, but politeness and civility goes a long way.”

With that advice dutifully imparted, the man gives Robert a brusque nod and disappears back out into the corridor. Into the real world, Robert thinks bitterly, desperate to follow him. The officer closes the door a second later, an unnecessary reminder that freedom has been permanently barred to him for as long as Her Majesty sees fit.

The barrister ends up being right. They transfer him soon after he leaves, the officer who had showed him to the cell coming back after another half an hour or so to take him to the prison van. There’s another man - prisoner - also in handcuffs when he’s led out into the narrow courtyard, a scruffy little thing who looks too young to be going anywhere other than the headteacher’s office. He’s pulled up the metal steps of the van and into the first cell, a tin box that Robert’s fairly certain looks less spacious than a coffin. His own handcuffs are tight around his wrists and his gut twists painfully when the officer shackles them to the chain bolted to the floor.

No getting out now, he thinks, not that he’d have been able to before. Somehow it feels worse though, chained and shackled. It’s a humiliation Robert hadn’t considered before, and his cheeks burn with the shame of it. If the officer notices he makes no mention of it, just slides his gaze around the terrifyingly small metal cell to make sure there’s no hidden panel Robert can escape through - as if I’m bloody Houdini, he thinks - and then locks the door.

The air smells stale, stagnated, as if nothing living could survive more than a few seconds inside. It’s warm as well, cloying and uncomfortable, but Robert can’t even loosen his tie, wrists currently dragged down by the chains. In the end he bows his head and closes his eyes, imagining himself back at the pub, making him and Aaron a cup of tea. He can almost feel the click of Aaron’s tongue as Robert tries to surreptitiously spoon another heap of sugar into his own mug and the image of it lances him, makes his eyes sting horribly. He rubs his cheek against the stiff fabric of his suit jacket, prays that he doesn’t walk into prison with tear tracks on his skin.

They’ll eat you alive, Cain had said. Show them weakness and they’ll eat you alive.

And Robert knows it’s true. If even half of the prisoners in there are anything like Cain then they’ll no doubt tear him to shreds in minutes. He can’t go in there as Robert Sugden - husband, brother, businessman. He has to strip back everything that makes him who he is, take out the emotion, become someone who can handle anyone and anything. Someone strong, someone fearless, someone… someone like his father.

His stomach lurches just as the van brakes hard. He braces his legs against the sudden jolt and feels the engine rumble beneath his feet, shivering up his calves until it cuts out. One of the doors bangs and he strains an ear to listen. Something clinks and the back of the van opens, heavy footsteps thudding up the steps. The first cell door is opened and Robert gets ready, prepares himself for the unknown, and takes one final deep breath before the door of his own cell is unlocked.

The officer comes forward and unlocks his handcuffs. Robert rubs at the tender skin around his wrist and is then led out into the gloriously fresh air. The younger prisoner’s eyes are darting round, perhaps trying to memorise the outside world before it’s shut off from him for the foreseeable. It’s perhaps a wise move but honestly, Robert doesn’t want to remember any part of this. He feels like the guillotine has been looming above him for months now and finally, finally, it’s going to fall.

He just wants it over.

“Right, let’s go,” the other officer says, a heavy, forceful hand on the boy’s shoulder as he pushes him in through a side door. Robert glances at his own prison guard and he nods, gesturing for Robert to follow. His legs have turned to lead but he manages to shuffle inside all the same, every breath like ragged nails against the inside of his throat. He doesn’t want to do this. He doesn’t want to be here. He can’t. He can’t.

“Name?”

The younger man is stood in front of a desk and he mumbles something in response. The officer beside him grips his shoulder harder and the young man clears his throat, repeats: “Kieran Thomson.”

“Date of birth?”

Kieran fidgets. “Fourteenth of January 1999.”

The boy is only nineteen. It’s all Robert can think as the officer behind the desk reels off more questions, filling in the form in front of him. He’s nineteen. He shouldn’t be in here. He shouldn’t be anywhere near a place like this.

Neither of us should, a small voice in the back of Robert’s mind whispers, but he pushes it down. He can’t think like that anymore. Not now he’s here. He has to start accepting that this is happening or he’ll drown.

Kieran is led away and Robert steps up, states his name before they even ask. He hoped it would attentiveness but the officer scowls at him instead and he decides not to speak again until he’s spoken to. It’s not something he’s ever been particularly good at.

“Date of birth?”

“Twenty-second of April 1986,” he replies, rubs his thumb against the space where his ring should be. He wonders when the indent will fade, wonders how long it will be before he gets used to its absence. He hopes he never does. It’ll be a sign he’s been in here too long.

His bag is beside him and he picks it up, follows the officer through a door, then another, trips on his own feet as he’s taken along a narrow corridor which smells of testosterone and sweat, and eventually finds himself being ushered into a room near the end. He’s asked to stand in front of the camera, his height measured by the wall behind him, and he turns from one side to the other, the officers brusque but patient as they take him back out and along to yet another room.

“Prison policy states that all prisoners upon arrival must be strip searched before entering their wing. If you could go behind the curtain and remove your top half first, then call us once you’re done and we’ll get started.”

The shame makes him want to peel his skin off, the dread hammering an off-beat rhythm inside his chest as he steps behind the thin, charcoal curtain into a cubicle barely wider than the breadth of his shoulders. His suit jacket is stiff and he removes it with shaking hands, folds it as neatly as he’s able and places it down on the narrow bench bolted to the wall. His shirt is next, the buttons too small for his clumsy fingers, and it takes him three tries just to get the first one undone. The heat rises up his neck, flushes his cheeks, even as he tells himself the officers have seen it all before. They just want to make sure he’s not smuggling any contraband into the prison, they’re not going to be ogling him.

It turns his stomach nonetheless, has to clear his throat before he can say a wavering: “Ready.”

The curtain is pulled aside and one of the guards steps forward, beckoning Robert towards him. “Arms out,” he says and Robert complies immediately, watching the officer intently as he gives him the once over, asks him to turn, checks again. It’s fairly unobtrusive but he knows that this is the easy part. It’s just his chest on display, nothing to worry about, but the next part…

“If you can step back behind the curtain and remove your bottom half. You can put this on now.” The officer hands him a grey sweatshirt that ordinarily Robert wouldn’t be seen dead in. But he supposes that Italian leather jackets and tailored suits aren’t likely to be prison attire. He takes what he’s given and goes back behind the curtain, hauls on the jumper and sighs a little with relief when he realises it smells of washing powder rather than someone else’s skin.

#robert sugden #honestly how fucking angsty is this????#and how do i barely even remember writing it???#this is almost 4k lmao #and i have zero recollection of ever starting it #god my memory really is shite #i don't even know why i'm posting this #it's not like i'm ever going to get round to finishing it #but it's a cool idea though #my fics

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nikkijl-blog1 · 6 years

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My first piece of Wayhaven Chronicles fanfiction. In celebration of Adam, I created this little story. Hope it does the legendary Angst du Mortain justice.

Adam’s Birthday Present

Synopsis: Detective Alice Roesler decides to give Adam a shoulder massage for his birthday

F!Detective/Adam du Mortain

"Something you need, Detective?" Adam eventually came into the office about three hours after he'd been summoned. Alice leaned back in the chair behind her desk, her professional persona taking a breather.

"Are you avoiding me?" she asked. The question was lighthearted but curious. Adam sighed, crossing his arms at the topic of conversation.

"Things have been rather busy at the Agency. I do have other jobs that I'm responsible for besides watching over you," he turns on the defensive almost immediately. That's alright, she had prepared evidence.

"Does Nate not factor into any of those missions? At this point, I feel like I could take over as his best friend. Did you know he has an obsession with high end quality hair products? I mean, not that it's surprising, look at the man," she said. She probably should start calling her lunch hour, Tea Time with Nathaniel.

"Nate can simply be more flexible about where he does his work. During times like these when we aren't facing any verifiable threats, it's more ideal to split ourselves in many different directions. Nate is obviously the best equipped for human relations," he spouts off a dozen lines of professional script like its second nature.

"Human relations, huh?" she asked, "Isn't that a dry way of putting it."

"Unless things have changed, you are still human," he said.

"Well, I was bitten by a werewolf last week but I've yet to grow any extra hair," she said. His pale complexion blanched even further as he took a hurried step forward.

"You were what?! Why didn't you report this to--"

"Hey look, a genuine response," she smiled before continuing, "That was a joke, Adam," Adam pinched the bridge of his nose with a frustrated sigh.

"Is there a point to this meeting, Detective? Or are you just entertaining yourself by adding to my already stressful day?" he grunted, barely hiding a snarl.

"So, are Felix skills also not included in your apparently legendary pile of responsibilities?" she said. Adam half turned towards the door, eager to make a quick exit as soon as she released him.

"Not recently. Besides, he volunteers whenever he's available. For some strange reason, he enjoys your company," he explained. She braced her elbows onto her desk and steepled her fingers.

"And Mason?" she kept up the interrogation. Adam's lips pursed.

"That... was a last minute decision. I was called away on something--"

"Man, Adam, you are a master of weaving yourself out of a tough conversation, especially one dealing with your feelings," she said.

"There are no feelings involved, only common sense. I apologize if I've somehow offended you, it was not my intention," he said, "Considering it's the end of the day, I will walk you back to your apartment. Would that be sufficient time spent with you?"

She almost considered telling him to pound sand right then and there but that was what he wanted. Instead, she pushed herself out from her desk and stood up, "So it's your birthday today?"

He flinched, not expecting the blow. He muttered some choice words about Nate before collecting himself again, "Is that important?"

"You tell me," she asked then decided to answer for him, "Although, considering it's you, I'd imagine you'll say something broody like 'it's only another day, not worth celebrating. I've got work to do,' blahblahblah."

He grit his teeth, quickly losing patience, and she guessed she'd hit the nail on the head. However, he was getting very close to fleeing so she should probably get to the point before it was too late, "Anyway, I wanted to give you a present."

"I don't need anything," he said.

"You need a lot of things, hun. Trust me," she carefully stepped around her desk, the poorly taped corner acting as a perfect monument to Adam's needs. She shut the blinds over the windows into her office, "And I know the perfect thing to help you relax."

"What are you doing?" he swallowed dryly, tensing up like a penned in wild animal, "There is no stress reliever that requires such privacy," his voice rises several ticks.

"Adam, come on, you're how old? I think you can come up with one or two ideas," she turned the lock, shutting everyone else out and Adam started becoming more erratic.

"Detective, I think we should rethink this course of action," he said, "We don't want to do anything we might regret."

"Oh, don't be ridiculous. Now go have a seat," she stood between him and the door, "Don't worry, no one will think anything strange is going on. Unless you're a moaner, that is."

That got him. A light flush of red rose on his cheeks and she could tell he was fighting every instinct in his body. He wanted to give in, but he had the emotional defenses of the Great Wall of China, "Alice, that's enough. Flirting is one thing but I'm not about to... in your office. It's unprofessional. You need to get ahold of yourself."

"Wow, I didn't think a simple shoulder massage was a reason to call the puritan police," she said. Her smile grew with satisfaction as realization dawned on his handsome face. She'd crawled right under his skin and buried herself there, "What were you thinking of--"

"You know exactly what I was thinking of, woman, and don't even try to deny it," he snarled at her. God, she wanted to take him by the collar and kiss him, drawing in all that repressed heat that was burning like an oven inside him. But she refrained.

"Ok, I'll stop teasing. Now please sit down," she gestured towards her chair.

"This is unnecessary," he protested.

"If you don't do as I ask, I will schedule midnight patrol for myself for the rest of the week. I think the city's been a little restless lately," she tapped her chin. She could tell he was calculating whether or not it was worth the extreme inconvenience, "I promise, no roaming hands. This is your birthday, not mine," he fidgeted at the implications. Finally, he sighed, tired of fighting against her will. He sat down in the desk chair, back stiff as a board.

"Get it over with," he said like he was prepping for a round of torture. Fine with her, she was ready for a challenge and she knew what she was doing. However, despite his sudden burst of courage, he froze the second she laid a hand on his shoulder. She could only imagine what his face looked like right now.

"Adam," she sighed, unable to even get a grip on his muscles, "I know it's not in your nature, but could you try to relax a tad?"

"I thought that was your job in this instance," he drummed his fingers on the arms of the chair. She shook her head and removed her hand, rolling up her sleeve. Before he could ask her what she was doing, she drove the tip of her elbow into the space connecting his neck with his shoulder. He choked back a small grunt with the sudden spike to his Trap.

"You want to do this the hard way, fine with me," she said determined. She used her forearm like a rolling pin across the top of his shoulder, gradually kneading out the muscle until it was at least pliable. It helped that after the initial defiance, Adam lowered his guard. Once, Alice got into it, she was quiet and focused on her work. Sliding her thumb above the bone of the scapula, she ran into a web of knots. Adam's lips twitched when she pressed against it.

"Have you ever done something like this before?" she asked and she strummed the adhesions like the strings of a guitar, "Because there's gotta be a century's worth of tension built up in here."

"I'm in a very stressful work environment," he said with the hint of a smirk, "Especially recently."

"Well, I'll just have to call this cluster the Alice knot, won't I?" she dug her elbow into the spot which was turning from a mountainous to a hilly terrain, "Heaven forbid I find the Felix knot, that must be the size of a grapefruit."

She prided herself when she was rewarded with a one note laugh. Such a rare and beautiful occurrence.

Later, when she returned to squeezing his Trap muscle, she managed to get enough of a grip of it to pull it off the bone, "Turn your head to the left for me," he did without complaint. She found more congestion around the collar bone when he opened up his neck, "I sort of wondered if vampires had problems like this but the muscle is healed tissue, just not healed the correct way."

"That is an interesting theory," he said, his voice growing deeper, momentarily throwing her off balance.

"Is that your way of saying you don't know?" she asked. His answer was cut short when she tilted his head forward again, fingertips grazing his clean shaven jawline. She was close enough to hear his breath hitch at the contact. She honestly didn't think much of the gesture, instinctively maneuvering him around like she would've done to any of her friends. However, a spark coursed through her blood with the minor touch.

She quickly moved back on track, drawing a line up the base of his neck into the gap right below his skull. She strummed her way up the tight bands and she was shocked when Adam gradually opened up his neck as he let his head drift towards his opposite shoulder.

For the longest time, they said nothing. There was no teasing and jokes from her or complaints and barks from Adam. She transitioned her way over to his other shoulder to repeat the process. She again had to dig her elbow into hard flesh to break ground, but he was more open to it now. She tended become almost clinical when giving someone a massage so there wasn't much for him to be uncomfortable with. She truly did have good intentions. Ever since she saw the way his shoulders hiked up towards his ears and his ritual-like rolling of them, she'd been dying to smooth him out.

There were other ways she wanted to touch him too, but those were on the back burner for now.

"You are... very good at this, Detective," she startled when he spoke, silent for such a long time, his voice cracked. It was only now she saw that his eyes were closed, thick eyelashes resting against his cheeks and lips normally frozen in a frowning state were slightly parted like he could fall asleep at any moment. She half smiled, zeroing on another knot near the base of his neck and kneading it into submission.

"Thanks," it was a simpler reply than what she was accustomed to, but she didn't want to risk damaging the fragile connection they'd established. Things would likely return to their scheduled awkward programming as soon as she stepped away. However, she didn't want to speed things along.

She finished the massage by wrapping her hand around the back of his neck and rubbing all the muscles simultaneously. It was telling that Adam remained completely at ease even around such a vulnerable spot. He even let out a content moan that caused her heart to flip in her chest. Her thoughts began to morph, thinking about replacing her fingers with her lips, trailing kisses down his spine, drawing out a symphony of pleasure from him.

"Alice?" she felt his body heat rise under her hand. She must've delved a little too far into her carnal desires and the mind reading vampire had noticed. But he wasn't pulling away either, so maybe--

"Detective, are you here?" Felix said and Adam shot up out of the chair so fast she nearly bounced back against the wall. The door was unlocked a moment later and Felix and Nate were both standing with curious expressions on the other side. While Nate's was more of concern, Felix was filled with ulterior motives.

"Felix said you weren't answering your cell phone," Nate says. However, he read the situation quickly enough when Adam had his eyes glued out the nearest window, hand fixed on the neck she'd been rubbing only a few seconds before. Felix sidled in, throwing the door the rest of the way open as if he owned the place.

"Well, well, well, here I thought we would need to find both of you, but it turns out you're holed up here together. Alone," he said.

"The Detective was simply helping me with something," Adam said, barely hiding a growl.

"Hmm, and what was she helping you with that required the shutters to be closed?" he said switching into investigation mode. Adam crossed his arms, tensing again. While she normally would've been on board the teasing train, in this case, she was rather annoyed.

"Felix, you're going to undo all my hard work," she said. Every occupant in the room was startled by her serious tone, "I was just giving him a shoulder massage for his birthday and I figured he'd be more comfortable if nobody was watching."

"You were able to get him to relax?" Nate said, brows arching in surprise.

"That's impressive, I didn't know our fearless leader had an off switch," Felix said, "But with that kind of magic, I want a massage too. Do me next, Detective!" "Felix," Adam scolded him.

"Maybe on your birthday, if you leave Adam alone," she smiled and Felix recoiled as if he were burnt, pressing a hand over his heart.

"Impossible," he said.

"We were hoping to bring you along to the celebration," Nate changed the subject, eyeing Adam as he said it and Adam bristled for another reason.

"Why are you all suddenly interested in celebrating my birthday?" Adam started before clicking his tongue, marching towards the door, "Forget it, I don't have the energy to argue."

"The Detective really loosened you up, didn't she?" Felix remarked. Adam snarled at him as Nate cleared a path for him.

"You couldn't even last until he left the room," Alice said although she was smiling along with his antics this time.

"Are you coming, Alice?" Nate said. Her gaze shifted to Adam who was trying his darnedest not to show his interest in her answer.

"I will not," she got the response she was hoping for when a brief flash of disappointment crossed Adam's features. She finished her sentence, "Miss it for the world." Adam twitched in anger for falling for her trick, "Just let me close everything up in my office."

She ran through her usual process of straightening up, shutting off the computer, and locking the filing cabinet. When she finished, she found Adam still lingering at the door waiting for her. She smiled as she joined him.

"Hope that wasn't too painful for you to endure," she said, secretly wanting her opinion.

"You've made this birthday more enjoyable than most," he said, lips twisting up into a subdued smile as he kept pace with her out of the office, "I may even ask for your services again sometime."

"Oh good, I've been dying to get my hands on those Glutes," she said and he missed a step. She nudged him with her shoulder in good humor and he shook his head.

"Incorrigible."

#the wayhaven chronicles #fanfiction #adam du mortain

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emilysn2019-blog · 5 years

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Kurama-dera (鞍馬寺) is a mountain temple in Northern Kyoto that is one of the most beautiful places in Japan. In this post, I’ll share photos I took at Mount Kurama, info & tips for visiting Kurama-dera, and thoughts on my experience of hiking from the village of Kurama up the mountain and over to Kibune. (Last updated May 19, 2019.)

Visiting Mount Kurama and its surrounding village is usually considered a day trip from Kyoto, since the commute to and from the town requires a time investment of a little over an hour. Even though Kurama is technically within the city, this is about the same amount of time it takes to travel to Osaka or Nara, both of which are significantly larger and more recognizable cities.

The upshot to this is that Kurama draws significantly fewer people, and can be something of an escape from the crowds of Kyoto. Moreover, you can visit several other superlative spots when heading up to Kurama. We cover this in our 1-Day Northern Kyoto Itinerary, which makes for one of our favorite days in the city.

May 19, 2019 Update: When we returned to Kuramadera Temple last fall, it was in rough shape due to Typhoon Jebi, which caused extensive damage in Northern Kyoto, and the cancellation of the annual Kurama Fire Festival. Several of the temple’s paths were closed and buildings were badly damaged.

The good news is that everything is pretty much back to normal at Kurama-dera. All of the main paths have reopened, including the hiking trail to Kibune. A lot of trees have been cleared away, and you’ll notice some of this while visiting. Some buildings are also still damaged, with the refurbishments in progress. With that said, Kurama-dera is once again looking great, and if you’ve never visited, you might not even notice the damage. We still highly recommend visiting.

Now let’s take a look at the history of Kurama-dera, info and tips to improve your visit to this mountain temple, and anecdotes from my hike up Mount Kurama…

History

Kurama-dera was founded in the 8th century AD. According to (historically disputed) legend reflected in the records of the Anbagai-ji Engi, the Chinese monk Ganchō, disciple of Jianzhen, had a dream in 770 to head north from Tōshōdai-ji in Nara where he resided to Mount Kurama as it held spiritual power.

En route, Gantei became lost until he had another dream, which brought him a white horse. He followed that horse until he arrived on the mountain that would then be called Kurama Yama, or Horsesaddle Mountain. He set up camp and began to establish the temple, but first had to ward off demons intending to eat him.

In 796, a noble who had been associated with construction of the Tōji temple in Kyoto, had a vision of the Thousand Arms Kannon that caused him to sponsor the construction of a proper temple complex on Mount Kurama. This led to numerous temples and pagoda being built, many of which constitute present day Kuramadera Temple.

Over the years, many of the buildings at Kuramadera Temple have been destroyed by fire, and have been subsequently rebuilt. On each occasion, the treasures (some of which are National Treasures of Japan) and Buddhist statuary were rescued from the fire and relocated to the new buildings.

Kuramadera Temple is shrouded in legend and folklore, some of which has likely clouded its history. While I cannot vouch for its veracity, the most comprehensive account of Kurama’s history can be found here.

Info & Tips

Kurama-dera Temple’s entrance is a 5-minute walk from Kurama Station down the village’s only road. This station is accessible from central Kyoto via the Eizan Kurama Line from Demachi-Yanagi Station; it’s a pleasant and scenic 30-minute ride. Eizan Railway is famous for its Maple Tunnel featuring fresh green leaves in the summer and beautiful fall colors in the autumn.

We accessed Demachi-Yanagi Station via the Keihan Main Line from Fushimi Inari Station. The entire commute took almost exactly an hour for us, but expect it to take longer if you’re coming from elsewhere in Kyoto. As with all points of interest in Kyoto, you should consult Google Maps for the most efficient train route based upon your location and departure time, as there are almost always 2-3 ways to access any temple in Kyoto.

Admission to Kurama-dera Temple costs 300 yen. The temple is open year-round from 9 a.m. until 4:30 p.m., but the Treasure House is closed Mondays and from December 12 through February 1 (reopening seems to be ‘weather permitting’).

Kurama is a popular spot in November and early December for its fall colors, and is stunning under a fresh blanket of snow in the winter months. Other events are held throughout the year, most notably the Spring Full Moon Festival, Summer Bamboo Cutting Ritual, and Fall Fire Festival.

It takes approximately 30-45 minutes to climb from the main entrance to Kurama-dera’s main buildings. Above is the map I was provided at the entrance to Kurama-dera Temple, which is a fairly accurate scale. (Click to view it larger.)

While this is always a maintained path, it can be moderately steep at times. There is a cable car that bypasses some of the path, but it does not take you all the way to the top. I recommend walking the entire way, if only because the cable car is not really saving you much time or energy.

Be sure to keep your ticket after paying at the main entrance, as you will need it to re-enter the temple if you hike down to Kibune; there is another ticket booth at the end of the mountain trail, and re-entry requires your ticket unless you wish to pay a second time.

The hike to Kibune is highly recommended. This trail is mostly downhill and should take around 30 minutes from the main hall, is through a beautiful forest, and features a couple of beautiful temple buildings along the way. Moreover, Kibune is an absolutely lovely little town.

You do not need to hike back to Kurama once in Kibune, but it is the most straightforward return option. The downside is that the return hike is quite steep at times. I’d rate it as moderate; it’ll take around 15 minutes more than the hike down to Kibune took you.

This entire experience is a great option if you need a respite from the crowds in Kyoto. During my visit, I encountered only a handful of other visitors during the entire time I was there. While that in part could be because it was snowing when I arrived, the remote location suggests that Kurama-dera sees fewer people in a year than Kyoto’s popular spots see in a day.

If you depart Kyoto by 9 a.m., you should have sufficient time to hike to the top of Mount Kurama, down to Kibune where you can experience Kifune Shrine (among other small shrines), hike back to Kurama, and recover from the hike by purchasing a day-pass to Kurama Onsen. Expect all of that to take around 5 hours or so. For just Mount Kurama, you should budget 2 to 3 hours.

If you are really ambitious, you can then leave and head to Fushimi Inari and experience that at night. This is a lot of hiking in a single day, but it’s easily accomplishable given the operating hours of each location. If you have limited time in Kyoto, an aggressive is probably the only way you’ll be able to justify the diversion to Kurama.

Our Experience & Review

Originally, we had wanted to visit Kurama during the heart of fall colors season, when Eizan Railway has nighttime illuminations of the Maple Tunnel. We ran out of time during for this, and decided to delay our visit to Kurama until much later in December when the likelihood of snow would be higher.

We ultimately headed to Kurama a day after snow was in the forecast for Kyoto (it was a near-miss). We had no clue whether it had snowed in Kurama, but decided to make the trek, anyway. We had read very little about this little village, but between the temple and the onsen, we figured it’d be worth checking out. Plus, we had done every major temple in Kyoto (and most minor ones), so it wasn’t like we’d be missing out on anything else.

Despite the fall colors being long gone by this point, the journey on Eizan Railway was incredibly pleasant. We had planned on working during this train ride, both were both so captivated by what was out the windows that we never did.

Upon arrival, we saw it: fresh snow! It was at this point we determined that we should go our separate ways. We had been walking around 25,000 steps per day everyday for the last several weeks, and the idea of hiking through snow didn’t appeal to Sarah. Conversely, regardless of the temple’s quality, it appealed very much to me.

So, Sarah headed to the Kurama Onsen, with the plan that we’d meet in the lobby there in four hours (or potentially sooner if our text messaging worked). I entered Kurama-dera and began ascending Mount Kurama.

I have to admit that I got goosebumps as I began climbing the first set of stairs, and I’m pretty sure they weren’t just because I was freezing. Seeing snow-covered roofs and lanterns mark the way was a special experience. (What can I say…I have a soft spot for light fixtures?) I absolutely love photographing the snow, and I didn’t think I was going to get that chance on this trip.

My happiness was probably a bit disproportionate to the scene, but I was in a state of pure bliss. I went crazy taking photos, but unfortunately, there wasn’t quite enough snow for something truly photogenic. (The photos in this post don’t do justice to the beautiful landscape, either.)

As I started hiking, I quickly realized Kurama-dera Temple is a special place. Now, you might discount that opinion since not one paragraph I got a bit emotional about snow, but on my return hike most of this snow had melted, and I still felt the same way.

My ascent through the snow, passing both natural and manmade beauty, up Mount Kurama was one of the most memorable and joyous experiences I’ve had in Japan. The snow no doubt played a big role in that, but it was just as exciting to make a new discovery of something mesmerizing around just about every turn of the hike.

It felt like a slow reveal, as if Kurama-dera was dispensing with little nuggets of beauty to encourage visitors to venture farther up Mount Kurama. The entire time, I was rapt. (This is a big part of why I’d discourage using the cable car–you bypass a lot of the best parts of this walk if you take the cable car.)

None of these temple buildings would have been nearly as captivating were it not for the natural beauty of the mountain, its forest, and the pleasant soundtrack of streams and small waterfalls along the way. Along the hike, there are several towering Japanese cedar trees, some of which rival California’s sequoias in beauty.

In fact, the entire experience reminded me a lot of hiking through Sequoia National Park. There’s something about giant trees that is simultaneously humbling and serene, and these odiferous trees have an enchanting aroma that just defies words. I don’t know. Maybe I was just getting high off of mountain and tree air.

The Honden (Main Hall), Shinden, and other buildings comprising the main area of Kurama-dera Temple were lovely, and a fitting climax to the hike up. This area abounded with details, and was the only area of the temple grounds where I saw another person on the way up.

While I’m partly inclined to say the experience at Kurama-dera is more about the journey than the destination, I don’t think that’s entirely fair. The journey up and down Mount Kurama, along with many stops, was the unequivocal highlight for me. However, the main buildings were stunning and I don’t want to sell them short.

Continuing on, I took the hiking trail to the neighboring village of Kibune. It had stopped snowing and the sun was out by this point and that, coupled with a light bit of wind, resulted in what was essentially a heavy rain of run-off melting from the trees above. Due to this and my lack of a GORE-TEX layer, I ran most of the way down. The entire hike took me about 15 minutes.

I’ll cover Kibune in a separate post, but suffice to say, it also did not disappoint. I view visiting both Kurama and Kibune a package deal, and would not even consider revisiting one without returning to the other. I now want to return in the summer when over-the-water dining is offered in Kibune, in the fall for the foliage, and in the heart of winter for a thick blanket of snow over everything. After a couple of hours exploring Kibune, I returned to the hiking trail that led back to Mount Kurama.

It was not “raining” at this point, so I took it slower (not to mention the fact that I probably would’ve had a heart attack running up the trail). This recounting of my experience is already pretty cheesy, so I’ll go ahead and call this forest downright enchanting. Laugh if you will, but I found this to be a really wonderful place. All of the superlatives I can muster still wouldn’t be enough.

Our phones did work and Sarah was not yet ready to leave Kurama Onsen (I guess public bathing is her thing!), so I took my time exploring Kurama-dera more on the way down. The snow was almost entirely gone by this point and everything was just wet, but it was still a great experience.

Overall, I love Kurama-dera Temple. If you read the recap of my experience above, that should come as no surprise. It’s one of the highlights of Kyoto, and I’d rank it near the top of my list of favorite things to do not just in Kyoto, but in all of Japan. While it’s more convenient to reach from central Kyoto than you might expect given the remote location, I still have some reservations about emphatically recommending it.

The “problem” with Kurama-dera for those who have only a few days in Kyoto is not the commute time to get there–it’s the amount of time required to experience the temple. By the time all is said and done, this is close to a full-day trip, and that’s a day that could have been spent seeing multiple Kyoto top spots in Arashiyama or Higashiyama. I think my suggested itinerary resolves some of these problems, but it’s still tough to recommend Kurama-dera to anyone with less than 5 days in Kyoto.

If you’re planning a trip to Japan that includes Kyoto, we recommend that you start by consulting our Ultimate Guide to Kyoto, Japan to plan all aspects of our vacation. You should also check out our other posts about Japan for ideas on other places to visit!

Your Thoughts

Have you visited Kurama-dera Temple? What did you think of the experience? Would you recommend this as a day-trip from central Kyoto to a first-timer visiting Japan? Any other thoughts about my experience at Kurama-dera Temple? Does visiting this temple interest you? Hearing your feedback about your experiences is both interesting to us and helpful to other readers, so please share your thoughts or questions below in the comments!

The post Kurama-dera Temple Info, Tips & Review appeared first on Travel Caffeine.

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dailyaudiobible · 7 years

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03/31/2017 DAB Transcript

Deuteronomy 16:1-17:20 ~ Luke 9:7-27 ~ Psalm 72:1-20 ~ Proverbs 12:8-9

Today is March 31st. Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I'm Brian. It is great to be here with you as together we will wrap up another month. The day is day 90 of the year so it is day 90 of our adventure through the Bible this year. Well done. One quarter of the year has been…well, is about to be completed. So, if we’re this far in together, we can do this! We can make it. Good job getting this far. And oh, the adventures that are yet to be discovered as we move forward into the year. But well done on three months.

We’re reading from the Common English Bible this week. We’re listening to Moses in the book of Deuteronomy say the final things that he has to say, that is the entire book of Deuteronomy. So we’re listening. We’re among the children of Israel on the banks near the Jordan River listening to the impassioned pleas and reviews of where the people have come from and where they are going and who God is and why this all matters to them. Deuteronomy chapter 16, verse 1 through 17:20 today.

Commentary

In the book of Deuteronomy today, like we said at the beginning, like we’ve been saying, he's saying the last things that he has to say, memorializing all of this thoughts over the children of Israel before he disappears from their presence and goes off to pass from history and they will move forward. So the last couple of days we’ve been hearing some instructions about capital punishment. It's important to point out something here.

So yesterday we were reading about how somebody comes in and they are kind of like a seer or a fortune teller and they give a prophecy that comes true and then try to seduce a person away to follow a different god, that that person should be eliminated from the community. That resolve on a spiritual level isn’t really different today. Anything that would seduce us away from God is something that needs to be eliminated from our lives, although in today's world it's not so much people. It's ourselves and all of the distractions.

Today Moses is reiterating the law that God gave about capital punishment. Lest we think this is just barbarism and anybody in this culture could just all of a sudden find themselves facing a crowd of people holding stones, getting ready to do away with them, let's understand the safeguards that are built in here, two or three witnesses. Of course, our laws are built upon these same principles, but in the Mosaic Law, those witnesses had to be willing to be the ones to do the execution, right? So nobody is allowed to anonymously give a deposition. Nobody is allowed to just kind of give some testimony and just leave. People have had to have seen this crime that was worthy of death and be willing to be the perpetrator of justice in it, and be that sure, that absolutely, totally sure of the thing, which is very sobering, especially if you were put in that position. Very, very sobering. So there isn’t just indiscriminate capital punishment in the Mosaic Law at all. In fact, there is every deterrent possible.

What is the point of this law or any law but to understand this is the line? You don’t cross this line. This steps over what God will allow you to do. Or in a culture, this steps over what society has decided for itself. So you understand the parameters and what will happen if you don’t listen.

This kind of relentless intentionality on God's part is not to enslave his people. They have already been slaves. Slavery is basically the only thing they do really understand. This law wasn’t given to simply install a new prison, a new level of slavery for them. It was to say if you will stay within these borders, if you will stay within these commandments, you will be on your way to a rich, bountiful, plentiful life in the promised land. So anyone living within that has nothing but joy to look forward to, nothing but good will come from it. But as a warning to those things that can come in and destroy this culture, we need to be very vigilant and intentional.

That's not different now. We may not have to abide by all of these rituals and customs, but as we move back through review of the law that Moses is giving now, we see so much of human society is built upon so many of these principles that have stood the test of time. Anything that is going to draw us away from God is something that will eventually destroy us. We should understand that clearly because then it snaps our resolve and intentionality into place: That can’t be in my life. I can’t participate in that. I can’t turn to this. I can’t be involved in those things. They pull me away from God. And anything that is going to do that will destroy me.

May we invite the Holy Spirit to give us that resolve and to give us foresight and insight into the things that we’ve allowed and the intentionality and resolve to move away from those things because when we’re moving away from those things, we’re moving toward life.

Prayer

Holy Spirit, we invite you into that completely, fully, in every way, in everything. What are the things that we’ve allowed into our heart that are seducing us away? And how do we rid ourselves of those things with an intentionality that would be worthy of the unmerited favor that you have given us so freely? What are the things that are interfering with the relationship that we share with you, the intimacy that we have with you? Come Holy Spirit. We ask in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Announcements

Www.DailyAudioBible.com is the website. It's home base. It's where you find out what is going on around here, so check it out.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, thank you so much. Thank you humbly and gratefully for your partnership. There is a link on the home page of www.DailyAudioBible.com. If you’re using the Daily Audio Bible App, you can press the More button in the lower right-hand corner or, if you prefer, the mailing address is P.O. Box 1996, Spring Hill, TN 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or comment, (877) 942-4253 is the number to dial.

And that's it for today. I'm Brian. I love you and I’ll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer Requests and Praise Reports

Good morning DAB family. This is Prophetic Intercessor Rising Up from North Carolina and I was listening to the March 25th Community Prayer and was moved by Katrina from Ohio who was calling in on behalf of her friend Gwyneth R., I believe the name was, who was suffering from stage 4 lung cancer that had spread to her brain and asked us to lift up our collective shields of faith to pray on Gwyneth's behalf, believing that God would step into the midst of the situation and perform a miracle. And so I just want to call in this morning to pray for Gwyneth. God, on behalf of Gwyneth, we come lifting up our collective shields of faith. We ask you, God, to step in the midst of this situation as Jehovah Rapha. You are, in fact, a god that heals. You are Jehovah Perez, the Lord of the breakthrough, and we ask in the name of Jesus that you would break through in the midst of this situation, that you would stretch forth your nail-scarred hands, which is an eternal reminder that you bore the stripes upon your body so that we could stand in total and complete healing and deliverance. And so we lift up our shields of faith, O God, to decree and declare life over Gwyneth. We stand on your finished work of Calvary's Cross. We stand on your word that says that it is by your stripes that we are healed. And so we decree and declare this morning that she is healed in the name of Jesus. We ask you to breathe in her direction, O God. Breathe the breath of life for you are the creator of life, the giver of life, the sustainer of life and we bind sickness and infirmity, God. Breathe in the midst of that hospital room. Breathe until her lungs are regenerated. Breathe until her heart tissue is regenerated. Breathe until the lung capacity and the heart capacity of her heart pumps with a new fervor, O God. In the name of Jesus, dispatch your ministering angels to stand in the four corners of that hospital room to minister health, healing, and wholeness and we too decree and declare that this sickness shall not be unto death but she shall in fact live to declare the glory of the living God, for you are the same God yesterday, today, and forevermore.

Good morning family. This is Abbie from Maryland. It's been a while since I called in, a little over a year or so, but I just wanted to let you all know I am lifting you all up in prayer. I just wanted to give a shout-out to a couple of people that I have listened to your stories and prayers and I want you to know I'm praying for you. Especially Brian. I'm sorry for the loss of your mom. When I heard it, it really touched me. But what touched me most was the fact that everyone was lifting you up in prayer and just want you to know that you are in my thoughts. And also, Candace, I'm sorry for the loss of your husband. May God comfort you, continue to wrap you in his love. And today I listened to a lady who called to ask for prayer for her son Josiah who is experiencing some health issues. I lift you up, Josiah, into the hands of God Almighty who is able to do anything, who is able to do exceedingly beyond what we can think of or ask for. I ask you, O Lord, to heal Josiah and every health issue he is having in his growth, in his development, and soak him into the blood of Jesus. This touched me more because I also have a son, Enoch, who is growing well, but he also has some delays. So I ask that you all continue to lift my son, Enoch, up into the hands of God, that every form of developmental delay, God, heal him, touch him, make him whole, and also lift up his sister, Ella, into the hands of God to just continue to watch over her. And just my entire family. I love you all. Love hearing from you. Blind Tony, I love your prayers and your poems. I love Biola from Maryland. She's on fire. God bless you all. God bless this community. You guys have been a blessing to me beyond what you can even imagine so God bless you.

Dearest Debbie in Des Moines, this is Annette A. from Oklahoma City. Probably the day you were calling and getting your message from the Lord about somebody praying for their son, that was probably me. My son came from Colorado and came to Oklahoma City and he came to see me, unbeknownst to me, I didn’t even know he was going to be here, and told me that he was involved in some very nefarious activity at which time I was pleading with him to not do what I thought he was going to be doing. And it was very painful to watch somebody that you know is just heading down a terrible spiraling road and I really did not know if this was going to be the last time that I would ever see my son again. As he was leaving, I was hanging onto him and praying and crying, “Please don’t do this. Please don’t leave.” And I was begging God to keep him safe. So my sister, I thank you for having my back and I thank you for your prayers and it is never…well, it's always an amazement to me how this community will hear God and not know why and things will come to mind when we pray for one another and we’re not quite sure why, but I am thoroughly convinced that we are hearing the voice of God.

Hey there Daily Audio Bible. This is Rita from Tennessee, down below Brian and Jill in Memphis, outside of Memphis in Collierville, TN. This is my third year to listen to the Daily Audio Bible and I cannot tell you all how blessed I am by the spoken word and by your prayer requests. I feel like I know some of you who call in frequently, but I'm blessed by every prayer request. I’ve got a big one. It's been on my heart for a long time and I'm finally calling in to ask for prayer for my son, Turner. He is 33 years old and has battled addiction since he's been (sorry), since he's been about 18. He is at a rehab in Michigan and he has been there before. I'm just praying that the Holy Spirit would come to him in his time of need and just restore everything that has been broken and taken away and that this would be the final time that he has to be in rehab and that he would finally turn his life over to the Lord once and for all and that he would be healed Thank you so much for praying because I know you will. Have a great day.

Hello beautiful Daily Audio Bible family. This is Cheryl calling from Arizona. This call today is specifically for Patricia in New Orleans. I was just listening to the podcast on Tuesday, March 28th and heard Patricia's call in for Candace in Oregon. And Patricia, my heart is so moved for you, my sister. I love you so much. When I heard your words of comfort for Candace, it deeply touched my heart, and Candace in Oregon, I love you as well and have been praying for you. Patricia, I also wanted to echo what you said about Victorious Soldier and her prayers. I so agree and say amen to that. What a blessing she is to all of us. And Patricia, I do pray in the name of Jesus for you and that you have everything that you need in every way and that the comfort and the provision of the Holy Spirit be with you to sustain and protect and provide for you. I just want to extend my love to you today, my prayers to you today, and my thanks for you today and for all of you at the Daily Audio Bible. You are so precious to God and to me. Community, I hope you have a wonderful rest of your week and hope to speak with you all soon. Alright, I love you. Bye-bye.

Hello Daily Audio Bible. My name is Pat from Montana and will you pray for me? (excuse me) Thank you for reading the Bible because it has brought me so much closer to God. I'm __________ a such a happy marriage with my husband, but my life has been miserable for a very long time. I have a 51-year-old son who is a full-blown alcoholic. He works on and off and on and off. He __________ and he drinks himself daily to death. How he survives, I honestly don’t know. It's just that he's a very healthy, fit person, works out and always puts good food in his body except for this bad liquor. We have been trying to get help for him for years but he goes in and comes out and goes in and comes out. And I just want to ask everybody out there to just pray. We’ve prayed for years and years and it has __________ stopped. And I love him so much. He knows that but he doesn’t hurt anybody, but he hurts himself and I wait for that call every day to come. But that is how it is. __________ to all the beautiful, wonderful people caring. And Brian, every time you read the Bible, it brings me closer to God. He's blessed you because I know you read this and you help a lot of people. I'm very sorry about...

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biofunmy · 5 years

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Why Pop Culture Still Can’t Get Enough of Charles Manson

The Manson case had a touch of evil to it — in fact, more than a touch; it was, in many minds, a post-apocalyptic deluge. It exposed how defenseless the folk-rock stars, the movie stars, the producer stars, the drug stars, the limo driver stars and thousands of would-be and wannabe stars were in their pretend fortresses up in the hills of Los Angeles and Malibu.

No one had guards packing pistols or rifles in the summer of 1969. It was as if the whole Los Angeles scene was being protected by the hippies at Hog Farm commune, who had recently provided security at Woodstock consisting of what their leader called “seltzer bottles and cream pies.”

Then, around midnight on Aug. 8, Abigail Folger was lounging in a Cielo Drive guest room in Benedict Canyon, reading a book, when a knife-wielding Susan Atkins walked into her bedroom unannounced. Folger, an heir to the Folgers coffee fortune and a guest of the very pregnant actress Sharon Tate, waved hello.

It was ultimate vulnerability.

[Read our review of “Once Upon a Time … in Hollywood.”]

The ultra-brutal killings that followed stunned the world, prompting headlines about Hippies and Weirdos and Ritual Murder. Along with Folger and Tate, who was married to the director Roman Polanski, the victims that night included Folger’s boyfriend, the Polish writer Wojtek Frykowski; Tate’s friend, the hair-stylist-to-the-stars Jay Sebring; and a young man named Steven Parent, who had been visiting the estate’s caretaker.

The next night, in another part of town, the owner of a supermarket chain, Leno LaBianca, and his wife, Rosemary, were killed in a similarly barbaric fashion, with the words “Healter Skelter,” misspelled by one of the killers, written in blood on the LaBiancas’ refrigerator.

Things changed quickly in Los Angeles after that.

As I first began to investigate the case for my 1971 book, “The Family,” the allure of the Tate-LaBianca murders seemed obvious: It had famous rock ’n’ roll stars like Dennis Wilson of the Beach Boys, who briefly housed the so-called Manson family; it had the appeal of the Wild West; it had the bass drum of the 1960s, with its sexual liberation, its love of the outdoors, its ferocity and its open use of drugs. It had the hunger for stardom and renown; it had religions of all kinds; it had warfare and hometown slaughter; and it had it all in a huge panorama of sex, drugs and violent transgression.

But now, I ask myself: What is the big deal about the Manson family? After 50 years, surely the obsession has died down?

It has not. As the bountiful media attention around Quentin Tarantino’s new film, “Once Upon a Time … in Hollywood,” attests, the obsession is alive and well. And that film is only the latest in a long line of pop culture products from the past half-century to be inspired by the crime, including movies, TV series, a stop-motion animation film and too many documentaries, books, articles and musical tributes to count. At least one prestigious university offers a semester-long seminar on the murders.

As the novelist Graham Greene noted in “The Third Man,” “One’s file, you know, is never quite complete, a case is never really closed, even after a century, when all of the participants are dead.” And as Tarantino knows, Hollywood dotes on self-revealing and self-obsessed stories about itself.

We may be stuck with Charlie Manson for a while.

The End of the ’60s

The Manson case had ripped aside the veils of Hollywood and inflamed the world’s interest, and as a fairly well known musician and writer of the counterculture at the time, I was interested, too, if at first for different reasons. For years after my book was published, I had so much Manson family lore in the front of my brain that my personal calendar was based on what the Manson group had done on that particular day in 1967, ’68 or ’69.

When I first started looking into the family, I thought they might be innocent, and might have even been framed. I pondered whether some scheme were afoot to blame a hippie tribe with psychedelic dune buggies for some killings that others had committed.

I soon learned otherwise.

In my weekly column, written during the 1970 trial for The Los Angeles Free Press, I tried at first to write about Manson and the other defendants as human beings, not cult demons. I was also concerned with whether Manson and his followers were being judged by a jury of their peers.

In addition, I was against the death penalty, and the prosecutor, Vincent Bugliosi, although a good Los Angeles liberal, was very adroit at putting on a trial that could lead to a death sentence.

If Manson got death, I wrote in one of my columns at the time, then what about William Calley and the perpetrators of the massacre at My Lai during the Vietnam War?

Because of my countercultural bona fides — among other things, I was a member of the rock band the Fugs, and the Free Press was the country’s premier underground newspaper — I was accepted by remnants of the Manson family. Before and during the trial, they invited me out several times to their home base on the Spahn Movie Ranch, at the edge of the San Fernando Valley, where several key scenes in Tarantino’s movie take place. After a garbage run dinner, they asked me to lead their communal singing in which they specialized in Manson’s songs. They handed me a guitar, but I turned down the offer.

A few weeks before the trial, which was scheduled for June 15, I had gone camping with members of the Manson family, along with a documentary filmmaker, out in the vastness of the mountains above Death Valley, 50 miles from the nearest phone. I slept in a van with a key — and not yet arrested — member of the group.

Even though I often dressed more like a Manson family member than like Bugliosi, I nevertheless had an assignment from Esquire and a book contract from a major publisher, so I had access to the prosecution and homicide investigators. When I called one of the prosecutors, Burton Katz, he was dumbfounded to learn that I had slept in that van beside the guy he believed had cut off the head of Shorty Shea, a former stuntman working on Spahn Ranch who had disappeared several weeks after the Tate-LaBianca murders. (When investigators finally located Shea’s body, over a decade later, his head was attached.)

That’s when I began to get the shivers about the Manson group.

I had also begun learning about a plot to free Manson.

The young man in the van, I found out, had during our trip asked a member of the film crew, “What would you say would happen if one night 75 heads were cut off?” From what was being tossed about, it was obvious an escape attempt for Manson was being planned.

Members of the Manson family said that he had maps of the Los Angeles sewer system. They said there was a set of parallel dry tunnels running all the way from downtown to the edge of the desert, which you could barrel through on motorcycles to freedom. They had talked to the filmmaker about chopping off heads as a distraction to aid the escape.

I told them I didn’t care about their plans. I wanted them to think that an escape meant nothing to me so they wouldn’t become suspicious.

I had never snitched in my life. In my youth, I had been counseled by friends never to catch the eye of a police officer and to be very wary in their company. Later, as someone whose face had been on the cover of Life magazine as a leader of the so-called “other culture,” I was doubly suspicious of the police. In writing and researching the book, however, I began to feel sympathy and respect for a number of police officers whose work I began to understand and appreciate.

So I decided to go to the authorities. I contacted a CBS reporter who was covering the trial and told him what I knew. Together we made arrangements to tip off the police.

The weekend before the trial began, I learned that Manson had been moved to a super secure cell at the Hall of Justice, the same place he was to be tried. The cell had previously held Sirhan Sirhan, the man prosecuted for the assassination of Robert F. Kennedy.

Fear Swept the Poolsides

There was great fear of Manson and his disciples, at least in Los Angeles during the trial, among those associated with movies and the music business. One need look no further for the origins of our abiding fixation: Many of the culture’s prominent voices from the past 50 years were shaped by that fear, their worldviews and obsessions forged in it. (In a recent interview with Esquire, Tarantino, who grew up in Los Angeles and was 6-years-old at the time, called 1969 “the year that formed me.”)

I saw that fear at work firsthand. Whenever my band played Los Angeles in the 1960s, we stayed at Sandy Koufax’s Tropicana Motel, located on Santa Monica Boulevard near La Cienega. There was a banana tree by the pool and hibiscus bushes with large red flowers. And there was always a party. During the summer of 1970, while I attended the Tate-LaBianca trial, I stayed with my wife, Miriam, and 5-year-old daughter, Deirdre, at the Tropicana.

Others in the music business were also staying at the Tropicana that summer, including Kris Kristofferson, the 5th Dimension and Janis Joplin, who was cutting her final album, “Pearl.” In the afternoons, the tables by the pool would fill up with visiting friends, including Phil Ochs, the writer John Carpenter and the singer Rita Coolidge.

The musicians were very anxious that I not bring any of the Manson family to the Tropicana. A few vowed to move out if I did, and I promised I wouldn’t.

A ripple of fear seemed to sweep across the poolside when it appeared that I had breached the edict one afternoon, as two hirsute young men came to visit me. Their names were Glenn Frey and J.D. Souther, and you could almost hear the shudders around the pool, where everyone was certain I had violated the ban against Mansonites.

Frey, whose band the Eagles would sell tens of millions of albums, was not attired in the threads of a star. Souther, who wrote many hit songs during the ensuing decade, was similarly bedecked. Their band, Longbranch Pennywhistle, performed a Fugs cover at their concerts, and the two had come by to invite Miriam and me to a show.

Kris Kristofferson told Miriam at the time that when the two men came poolside, he contemplated diving into the pool and swimming to the other side — the quickest route to safety.

“Live Freaky, die Freaky,” one of the people gathering outside Sharon Tate’s house reportedly said the morning after her murder. What that meant for the hills and valleys of Hollywood was, “From now on it’s lock your doors, close your gates, hire some guards, get some guns.”

Bread and Circuses

Some important people and events fade with time. A few years ago, I gave a talk at a large Midwest university on the subject of 1968, and I spoke about the time Allen Ginsberg chanted a poem by William Blake in a confrontation with military troops during the Democratic National Convention in Chicago.

After my presentation, I was leaving the auditorium when a young man approached me and asked, “Mr. Sanders — Allen Ginsberg, he was one of the lawyers at the O.J. Simpson trial, right?”

But some events last and last and last.

Ask Tarantino. He has his finger firmly on a key element of human proclivities. His “Once Upon a Time” received a six-minute standing ovation this year at Cannes.

He knows, to paraphrase the ancient Roman poet Juvenal, that the people want bread and circuses. They want sex scandals and shocking violence, the more vicious the better — even today, when such things seem as common as a hamburger stand.

Ed Sanders is a poet, writer and co-founder of the underground rock band the Fugs. For his 1971 book, “The Family,” he embedded himself among several of Charles Manson’s followers.

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angelavengedinspo-blog · 6 years

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Isabelle Lightwood walked straight for the coffee machine and got herself a cup without asking if she could have any. She was that kind of girl, Magnus thought, the kind who took what she wanted and assumed you would be delighted that she’d taken a fancy to it. She studiously ignored Elyaas as she went: she had taken one look at him when she’d come into Magnus’s apartment and apparently decided that asking questions about the presence of a tentacle demon would be impolite and probably boring.

She looked like Alec, had his high cheekbones, porcelain-pale skin, and black hair, though she wore hers long and carefully styled. Her eyes were different, though, glossy and black, like lacquered ebony: both beautiful and indestructible. She seemed as if she could be as cold as her mother, as if she might be as prone to corruption as so many of her ancestors had been. Magnus had known a lot of Lightwoods, and he had not been terribly impressed by most of them. Not until one.

Isabelle hopped up onto the counter, stretching out her long legs. She was wearing tailored jeans and boots with spike heels, and a deep red silk tank top that matched the ruby necklace at her throat, which Magnus had bought for the price of a London town house more than a hundred years before. Magnus rather liked seeing her wear it. it felt like watching Will’s niece, brash, laughing, cheroot-smoking Anna Lightwood -- one of the few Lightwoods he had liked -- wearing it a hundred years before. It charmed him, made him feel as if he had mattered in that space of time, to those people. He wondered how horrified the Lightwoods would be if they knew that the necklace had once been a dissolute warlock’s love gift to a murderous vampire.

Probably nota s horrified as they would be if they learned Magnus was dating their son.

He met Isabelle’s bold black eyes, and thought that she might not be horrified to learn where her necklace had come from. He thought she might get a bit of a kick out of it. Maybe someday he would tell her.

“So it’s Alec’s birthday today,” isabelle announced.

“I’m aware,” said Magnus.

He said nothing more. He didn’t know what Alec had told Isabelle, knew how painfully ALec loved her and wanted to shield her, not to let her down, as he wanted not to let any of them down and passionately feared he would. Secrecy did not sit well with Magnus, who had winked at Alec the first nights he’d met him, when Alec had been simply a deliriously good-looking boy glancing at Magnus with shy interest. But it was all more complicated now, when he knew how Alec could be hurt, when Magnus knew how much it would matter to him if Alec were hurt

“I know you two are... seeing each other,” said Isabelle, picking her words carefully but still meeting Magnus’s eyes dead-on. :”I don’t care. I mean, it doesn’t matter to me. At all.”

She flung the words defiantly at Magnus. There was no need to be defiant with him, but he understood why she was, understood that she must have practiced the defiant words that she might have to say to her parents one day, if she stood by her brother.

She would stand by him. She loved her brother, then.

“That’s good to know,” said Magnus.

He hard known Isabelle Lightwood was beautiful, and had thought she seemed strong, and funny -- had known that she was someone he would not minding having a drink with or having at a party. He had now known that there were depths of loyalty and love in her.

He was not adept at reading Shadowhunter hearts, behind their smooth angelically arrogant facades.

....

Isabelle nodded, as if she understood what Magnus was telling her. “I thought -- it seemed important to tell someone that, on his birthday,” she said. “I can’t tell anyone else, even though I would. It’s not like my parents or the Clave would listen to me.” Isabelle curled her lip as she spoke of both her parents and the Clave. Magnus was liking her more and more. “He can’t tell anyone. And you own’t tell anyone, right?”

“It is not my secret to tell,” said Magnus.

He might not enjoy sneaking around, but he would not tell anybody’s secret. Least of all would he risk causing Alec pain or fear.

“You really like him, right?” Isabelle asked. “My brother?”

“Oh, did you mean Alec?” Magnus retorted. “I thought you meant my cat.”

Isabelle laughed and kicked at one of Magnus’s cabinet doors with one spike heel, careless and radiant. “Come on, though.” she said. “You do.”

“Are we going to talk about boys?” Magnus inquired. “I didn’t realize, and I am honestly not prepared. Can’t you come over another time, when I’m in my jammies? We could do homemade facials and brad each other’s hair, and then and only then will I tell you that I think your brother is totally dreamy.”

Isabelle looked pleased, if a little mystified. “Most people go for Jace. Or me,” she added blithely.

Alec had said as much to Magnus once, seeming stunned that Magnus might hope to see him instead of Jace.

Magnus was not planning on talking about why he preferred Alec. The heart had its reasons, and they were seldom all that reasonable. You might as well have asked why Clary hadn’t created a hilarious love triangle by getting a crush on Alec, since he was --- in Magnus’s admittedly biased opinion --- extremely handsome, and had ben consistently sullen in her direction, which some girls liked. You liked the people you liked.

For all that, Magnus had many reasons. Nephilim were guarded, Nephilim were arrogant, Nephilim were to be avoided. Even the Shadowhunters Magnus had met and liked had been, every one, a trouble sundae with dark cherries on top.

Alec was not like any Shadowhunter Magnus had met before.

“May I see your whip?” asked Magnus.

Isabelle blinked, but to do her justice, did not demur. She un-looped the electrum whip and tangled its silvery-gold length around her hands for a moment, like a child playing cat’s cradle.

Magnus took the whip carefully, laid across his palms like a snake, and he carried it to his closet door, which he opened. He drew out a special potion, one that he had paid an exorbitant price for and that he had been saving for something special. Shadowhunters had their runes to protect them. Warlocks had their magic. Magnus had always liked his magic better than theirs. Only a Shadowhunter could bear runes, but he could give magic to anyone. He tipped the potion -- faerie dust and blood taken in one of the old rituals, hematite and hellebore and more besides -- onto the whip.

In the last extremity this weapon will not fail you; in the darkest hour this weapon will bring your enemy low.

Magnus carried the whip back to Isabelle when he was done.

“What did you do to it?” Isabelle asked.

“I gave it a little extra kick,” said Magnus.

Isabelle regarded him with narrowed eyes. “And why would you do that?”

“Why did you come to tell me that you knew about me and Alec?” asked Magnus. “It’s his birthday. That means the people who care about him want to give him what he wishes for most. In your case, acceptance, In mine, I know that the most important thing to him in the world is that you be safe.”

Isabelle nodded, and their eyes met. Magnus had said far too much, and he worried that Isabelle could see more.

She launched herself off the counter, towards Magnus’s small alabaster-topped coffee table, and scrawled on his notepad. “Here’s my number.”

“May I ask why you’re giving it to me?”

“Well, wow, magnus. I knew you were hundreds of years old and all, but I hoped you were keeping up with modern technology.” isabelle held out her phone to illustrate her point, and waggled it about. “So that you can call me, or text me. If you ever need Shadowhunter help.”

“Me need Shadowhunter help?” Magnus inquired, incredulous. “Over the --- you’re right, hundreds of years -- let me tell you that I’ve found it almost invariably the other way around. I presume you’ll be wanting my number in return, and I’m also prepared to bet, based on nothing more than a passing acquaintance with your circle of friends, that you are going to get into trouble and need my expert magical assistance rather a lot.”

“Yeah, maybe,” said Isabelle with a rakish grin. “I’ve been known to be a troublemaker. But I didn’t give you my number because I want magical help, and okay, I understand that the High Warlock of Brooklyn probably doesn’t need an assist from a bunch of underage Nephilim. I was thinking that, if you’re going to be important to my brother, we should be able to get in touch. And I was thinking that you might want to have it if -- if you need to contact me about Alec. Or if I need to contact you.”

Magnus understood what the girl meant. His number was easy enough to get -- the Institute had it -- but in giving him her own, Isabelle was offering the free exchange of information about Alec’s safety. The Nephilim led dangerous lives, chasing after demons, stalking the Downworld for lawbreakers, their rune-Marked, angel-swift bodies the last line of defense for the mundane world. The second time Magnus had never seen Alec, he had been dying of demon poison.

Alec could die at any time, in any of the battles to come. isabelle would be the only one of the Shadowhunters who knew for sure that there was anything between Magnus and Alec. She would be the only one who knew that if Alec died, magnus would be someone who needed to be told.

“All right,” he said slowly. “Thank you, Isabelle.”

Isabelle winked. “no need to thank me. I’ll be driving you mad before long.”

“I’ll be expecting it,” said magnus as she clattered out on her high, weaponized heels. He admired anyone who made beauty and utility work together.

“By the way, that demon is dripping slime all over your floor,” said Isabelle, poking her head back around the door.

“Hi,” said Elyaas, and he waved a tentacle at her.

isabelle regarded him with disdain, then raised an eyebrow in Magnus’s direction. “Just thought I’d point it out,” she said, and closed the door.

#the bane chronicles.#re: magnus.#re: alec.#this is so important #IMPORTANT*.#quotes by isabelle.

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birdseyetea · 7 years

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August Newsletter

Hello Friends!

How are you enjoying the hot summer days?!

Fruits are ripening and flowers are beginning to fully invest in seed production. This is a month to really just take it all in and enjoy nature for what it means to you. Nature comforts each of us in unique ways, take note of how summer appeals to you and let yourself enjoy it the way you like it. There are so many individual ways to take advantage of how summer days ease tensions, brings community together, and allows each of us to exist for no other reason than our own individual purpose.

We naturally gravitate toward friends who share our sentiments during summer. I am an observant person and I love being in motion, whether it physical or mental, the ebb and flow of information is the rhythm that my life is founded on. During summer, my keen sense of observation draws me toward my gardens, onto beaches, into the kitchen and forests. I choose spaces where I can let myself sense as much information as I can and then creatively respond. I wander, observe, and create. I love it when people come wandering with me. We have lengthy meandering conversations that rise into intense discussions and then dissipate as it stretches into long silences. We simply take in the scene and share what comes up for us as we explore. This wave-like way of being in community really appeals to me. It allows for fast chirpy excitement and a slow gathering of insight in a natural flow.

At some point every summer I have to unlearn workaholic tendencies. Too much focus on achievement can easily keep me distracted from the beauty and grace of each moment. Especially on a farm when it is easy to not see anything but a ton of work that needs to get done. So many missed opportunities pass when we narrow our focus and perceptions too much. It is so easy to get hung up on things we have to do, rather than give yourself the freedom to do nothing or say yes to to things you want to do. I find that when I slow down and let myself be in a natural state of awareness I learn that I am a much better thinker when I am not trying so damn hard. Pushing toward a goal all the time just creates patterns of stress for many of us. Play, curiosity, and giving yourself freedom to widen your gaze helps you take in more information and respond with greater compassion and in alignment with kindness.

I know living in the US right now is rife with fears, uncertainties, and disgust at the depths of ignorance we see each day in our communities and in the news. There is simply no room in our society for racism and discrimination. Building tolerance is only acceptable when it is toward an inclusive whole. Tolerance extended toward white supremacists is not acceptable. There are people out there working their butts off with a ton of courage resisting racism and counter protesting in response to white supremacist gatherings. My heart goes out to all the folks on the front lines protesting and standing up to dangerous and violent hate groups! White supremacy is an abomination and we need to dismantle it right here right now for the good of our current generations and future generations.

It goes without saying that those of us who are white need to be leading the discourse in our families and communities to undo racism in our own minds, listening to and believing the stories of the people of color, and work together to dismantle policies and practices that keep immigrants and people of color from experiencing the same level of power and privilege that we do. The US is one of the only places in the world that has the opportunity to fully provide equal rights and privilege to all. It is totally a waste of our democracy to allow politicians to sanction hate groups and encourage violence and hate through the power of public and legislative avenues.

I want to be part of a multi-cultural country that provides equal access to resources, services, connection, and refuge for all people. I spend a lot of time farming, cooking, studying ecology, and creating healing herbal teas. I want to clearly state that I get to focus on my interests and crafts because of my privilege. I do not have to navigate a daily deluge of fear, insecurity, and racism. I do not have to justify my actions or prove my worth every single day. Nobody dehumanizes me based on the color of my skin. It is important that I continue to extend my energy, power, and privilege toward people who experience oppression. There is so much energy and opportunity to extend toward others every day. For whites, it takes a lot of work to undo racism in our own minds, but the work is absolutely necessary to be part of a free respectful society. The first time I took an undoing racism training course almost 20 years ago I was totally surprised and confused at how my own thoughts and inaction were enabling a racist system. And my life since then has been lived in solidarity with anti-racism organizations and social movements. We often feel we cannot do enough, I feel that, but we can all do little things like donating a few dollars every month to organizations like the Southern Poverty Law Center or support political movements and organizations in your local community that host events where people of color lead discussions about social justice issues that are affecting them every single day. Or simply signing up for an undoing racism training course. And honestly, just keeping your heart and mind open and engaged, rather than shutting down or feeling shame, when we see really painful acts of racism at the hands of hate groups, the police, and ignorant rhetoric by government officials. My voice and actions will continue to proudly be amongst the diverse choir that step by step takes down the patterns and political system that sanctions white supremacy and hate.

And there is another reality that has always been waiting for us. One that is collaborative, nurturing, where mutualism forms the basis of everyday interactions with people and place. Where we choose to enjoy being in a society where differences are an asset and beautiful. Where we extend generosity even when we feel depleted or lost. Where we refuse to make choices that make us look or feel superior to others. This life we live is a shared experience, we need to embody universal reciprocity…in a way that it is extended far beyond our little chosen communities. We can create an amazing society where everyone feels both generous and supported, our government must adapt and become a leader in inclusivity or we will continue to become more polarized and violent.

Sharing tea is a nearly universal act of connection and welcoming. So many cultures use a form of tea ceremony as a way to sit together, ground, and share ideas. Sharing tea with friends, acquaintances, and family is a timeless ritual of love, companionship, and reciprocity. I am not saying that tea drinking solves our societies problems, but it does help heal emotional wounds and traumas if you let it. It becomes a daily ritual of renewal and love...a ritual that we can share with others and use as a tool to build deeper trust, community, and friendship.

Think Tea

Ingredients: gunpowder green tea, tulsi, lemongrass, and gotu kola

Think tea is often a tea I bring out in the fall, but I noticed this summer that there are lots of people who feel depleted, anxious, and depressed. Think tea is a great tea for times when you feel held back by fatigue, but for whatever reason need to keep a certain pace. We have to work a whole lot more than we ever thought we would have to in order to keep afloat. The summer heat slows us down and politics as they are seems to keep us in a state of turmoil. So Think tea is a delicious brew to energize the body and help our nervous system adapt to stress. Think tea is energizing, supports memory, and brings forth mental clarity.

Gunpowder green tea is a caffeinated tea that has a nice floral quality to it. It is not aggressively fermented so it maintains a lot of it grassy and orchid-like flavor tones. Because green tea has caffeine and caffeine can exacerbate adrenal fatigue, I try to combine caffeinated teas with herbs that help feed and support the nervous system. Lemongrass is a great herbs for summer. It is uplifting and refreshing. Lemongrass is a great digestive support and helps calm nervous disorders. Tulsi is a fantastic adaptogen herb. It helps regulate the nervous system to keep it in balance through stress and disease. Tulsi has been shown in animal and human studies to aid in mental recovery after brain injury. Gotu kola is a great herb for memory and focus. It has been used in ayurveda for millennia as a brain tonic herb.

Making Think Tea iced is really easy. Just combine the tea and cold water in a lidded jar, shake vigorously, and stick in the fridge for a few hours. I usually shake it again before I strain and drink the tea. If you make it as an iced tea you can add a little honey and fresh lemon if you want a sweet tea.

Love Digest Tea

Ingredients: dandelion root, burdock root, ginger, fennel, peppermint, and spearmint

Digest tea helps the body digest and absorb nutrients more effectively. I like to drink digest tea before I eat, helping to stimulate and prepare the digestive system for food. During mid to late summer we eat a lot more fresh fruit, so you are actually getting a lot of natural enzymes from the fruits that help support digestion. But we also do a lot of snacking and are highly active during summer so we might not be giving our digestive system the down time it needs to properly digest.

This is a blend that is popular amongst my friends for acid reflux and poor digestion. I drink this tea before eating and often share it with friends who come over for dinner. I love this tea hot or iced. Lately I have been grating a little fresh ginger into digest tea when I steep it because I have had some asthma relating to smokey air we had for a few weeks in the Puget Sound. Fresh ginger along with the dried ginger in this tea is a great anti-spasmodic for the lungs and dramatically improves wheezing that happens when the lungs are congested.

Peace Always

Ingredients: linden, tulsi, fennel, oat tops, goji berry, lemon balm, chamomile, and licorice

This blend is a great tea to drink when feeling overwhelmed and/or angry. I have been having a lot of anger come up for a whole variety of reasons, but when I feel helpless I often get angry. This is a great nervine blend, helping to bring peace into your life. It is so hard to have a single day where something crazy and anxiety inducing doesn’t happen in current events. The next few years are really going to test our bodies abilities to be resilient and strong. I am always striving to send you teas that help you manage stress, so you can keep fighting the good fight day after day and also maintaining your work and creative life. I love that this blend can be drank during a stressful day, but also enjoyed after dinner. For some people, tulsi can be a little stimulating, so try it in the evening and see how you feel.

This blend helps ease frazzled nerves, but it is also very nutritive and, like in Think Tea, tulsi is a great ally herb for the nervous system. Tulsi helps your body resist a full blown stress reaction and also helps the body recover after a period of stress. It is highly regarded as both a spiritual and physical healing herb in India, where it is know as “queen of the herbs”. Fennel is both a great digestive support herb and calms the nerves. Lemonbalm is an herb I love to grow but I do not use it in tea super often because I personally have a hard time enjoying the taste. Lemonbalm is a powerhouse herb, it is anti-viral, especially toward the herpes viruses, it calms the mind without dulling it, supports the liver, encourages restful sleep, and is a powerful antioxidant. Goji berry is a great nutritive adaptogen herb, helping the body adapt to stress. Chamomile is digestive and calming. Oat tops are nutritious and calming. And Licorice helps sweeten the tea and restore healthy nervous system function.

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