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iaeriy · 4 months

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affected // jude bellingham x reader

summary; jude never realizes how you’ve affected him and his life.

word count; 4k

warnings; angst, situationship, playboy! jude, smut, slapping.. unprotected sex, fingering, missionary..

a/n; once again.. not proofread! for a friend of mines & for my jude girlies, anything in bold is flashbacks &&&& sorry if this is bad..this is also based off my experiences im still going through.. anywho..enjoy! 🎀🐾

aching, that’s how it felt the day you saw him hanging out with a lot of girls after he kept coming back to you everytime and you would take him back. you had enough of him but something in you always craved for him, no matter what it was. anything you used to do that you did with him, you found yourself stopping and breaking down, your heart would ache, it even ached your hands and all over your chest. anytime you would open up the social media you’d see recent events of jude, him with a new girl maybe at least a few times a week or seen walking out of their homes. it upsetted you in so many ways, you didn’t know what to do, you stayed home avoiding everybody. even text messages and calls from him. you always took him back, after every little mistake he did, after playing with your heart & using you for when he didn’t have anybody around that time. small glimpses of any memory you two shared would hit you, no matter where you were or how you were feeling, it always ruined your day. it hurt you when you realized you weren’t his world, you were his side piece, only something he needed when he was desperate and much more you could never explain. you were the other woman, because he knew you fell in his trap so many attempt’s because you were in love, a love that you somewhat never experienced but with him. a love that had you in awe from head to toe, a love that had you attached. he knew your weaknesses, he knew the things you thought about with him. he knew the things you did for him and threw it away like nothing mattered because there was always other women throwing themselves at him, and he enjoyed it. you cried for days & days.

that was now a month ago.. without him but his text messages would return, even his calls.

you were now in the couch sitting down criss cross reading your book, it was a cloudy windy day and you had gotten back from visiting your mom at her home for lunch as she had promised. your phone was slowly getting tons and tons of messages, nobody but jude himself and you managed to avoid them. you stared at the vase of flowers he had gotten you, you sighed as you put ur book away before walking over to the island counter, there had been a card next to the flowers but you never opened, afraid that you’d burst out in ears and you’ll be begging back for him. you sighed, ‘fuck it’ you thought before you grabbed the note slowly before opening it, your heart already racing as you felt your heart thumping in your ears, you slowly read the note as tears started to form in your eyes. what were you thinking, why would you do this in the first place. you put the note back next to the card as you wiped your tears before making your way to your coach, you laid down before grabbing the blanket. suddenly you closed your eyes and there you were again.

“jude! did you really get me this!?” you said as your eyes were widened looking at the vase of the flowers, purple and baby pink. just like how you loved those colors, “yes i did, do you love them?” he said as you smiled nodding your head at him, “what for?” you said putting them on the isle as he chuckled, “because i love you so much sweetie.” he said as he stood behind you, hugging you behind. his hands wrapping around your waist befofe you turned around, “i love you a lot..you know that..” you said as he smiled slightly, “me too.” he said as you giggled booping his nose before he picked you up, you bursted out giggling as he smiled. “you’re so pretty..” he said, a pink tint brushing over your cheeks before your hands cupped his cheeks. he looked at you as you admired the color of his eyes, you were still blushing before he kissed you, you kissed back giggling before he kept kissing you, he laid you on the couch as you were still giggling before he fell on top of you, “i love you so much..” he murmured in your ear as you looked at him.

you woke up as you were panting for some reason, tears streaming down your face before you got up walking to your bathroom, you washed off your makeup as you sobbed in between washing your face. why would you pick the note up, why did you overthink it a lot. you wiped your tears constantly, your eyes puffy and pink. you walked back to the living room as you sat back down, you kept crying and your chest was hurting. your eyes widening as you looked at your phone, tons and tons of more messages from jude. you sobbed out again before the door knocked, you choked on your breathing as you wiped your tears, “c-coming..!” you said as you wiped your tears again before walking to the door as you opened it, you stood there as your breath hitched. you swallowed down as you felt your eyes water up again, why was he at your door. did he want you for more pleasure? did he want to toy around with you again? did he only want you in his trap again? what did he want. so much was going through your head you attempted to process it in one second. “i kept messaging and messaging you, why didn’t you pick up?” jude said leaning closer to you as you shook your head, “g-get away from me..” you murmured as you looked down not wanting to let him see your teary eyes. “why? what’s wrong now.” he said harshly as you looked up at him, “nothing..just sick..” you said with a tear slipping out of your eyes, knowing you were lying. he looked at you as your hands began shaking, “y-you can..come i-in tho..” you said as he nodded before he walked in to your home.

you looked at him as he looked at you back, “hm?” he said as you shook your head, “why are you..h-here?” you said trying to control your breathing, attempting to calm down knowing this time things get settled and get fixed or you take him back in as nothing happened and fall into his trap. “just wanted to talk to you..” he said as your eyes widened again, more tears slipping out. “n-no..” you murmured shaking your head, “n-no..not this t-time..” you said choking up on a sob as he held your hand, “i promise we can work something out this time..” he said as you shook your head, “we can’t! everytime i take you back, you do stupid stuff! stupid fucking stuff that you think you dont know what it is but you know what you’re doing! it’s not fair!” you said as you slapped his chest, “i-i’m always your stupid option! you only need me when you’re looking for sex.” you yelled out sobbing as you looked at him, your vision blurry from the tears building up. he looked at you, “that’s not me, i promise darling..” he said as you shook your head, “it’s a cycle. you hang out with a girl and suddenly when i try and hang out with somebody you’re onto me, it’s like this every fucking damn time jude! it’s not fair for me!” you said as another tear slipped out again, he looked at you cupping your cheek. “that’s not me it isn’t y/n.”

“you knew what you were doing in some of these things.. you cheated the first time we got back together. you don’t get what i felt!

you said crying again before he glared, “i never cheated. she was all up on me and i was drunk. you obviously don’t get what i tried doing for us neither.” he said as you shook your head, “that’s not fucking true! it was all over the media! are you fucking stupid!?” you said crying as he grabbed you, “that’s not true. quit saying fucking assumptions.” he said as you pushed him off, “assumptions that are true. you fucking dick, it happened TWICE. TWICE JUDE. and yet you don’t give a single fuck about my feelings!” you said as he looked at you again, “i did. i gave you everything you could possibly ask for.” he said before standing up as you stood up, “what i want was a boyfriend. somebody that could love me, not manipulate me and make me feel guilty for the girl i was!” you said before getting up yourself. “just admit it, you don’t know how to love someone properly and you only want sex.”

“even after the second time you cheated. you only needed me around for sex. you’re never wiling to change for me or anything in general, even the media knows it itself. so do i.” you spat out as he chuckled.

“or maybe because i’m the only guy with a better dick, you can’t even get enough of it, after all..” he said leaning close to you, “i fuck you better. and it’s proven.” he whispered as you pushed him off, “get off me!” you said as he smirked, “you’re fucking hilarious y/n. believing all this bullshit your mind comes up with, you’re such a idiot.” he said as you looked at him tearing up, “what?” you said as he looked at you, “here you go crying yet again..” he said rolling his eyes as you bursted out crying one more time, “why can’t you just understand me for once! why can’t we be in this together!” you said as he looked at you, “i do. i understand you. you just don’t get it yourself. i’m telling you, i’ll do whatever you want me to, starting now.” he said crossing his arms as you sobbed out. he wrapped his arms around you, holding you against his chest as you sniffled.

there it was again, hearing his heartbeat against your ear. you suddenly felt your heart flutter..there was your love coming back for him.

“i promsie, i’ll change. i’ll be willing to do whatever it takes, i don’t want to loose you sweetheart, i want you. only you, you taught me things nobody else has as well, deep inside i want you, my heart wants you. i need you in my life.” he said as you shook your head, “don’t lie, you’ve broken promises. promise after promise.” you said as he shook his head, “that wont happen again, i’m willing to try one more time.. you’ve impacted on my life..” he said as you looked at him, he cupped your cheek caressing it as you looked at him. “what are you..” you said softly and confused before he kissed you passionately, you kissed back wrapping your arms around his neck before he held your waist. he laid you down against the couch as your head hit the cushion, you held onto the back of his neck, slightly caressing his skin softly his fingerpads drawing lines on your waist as you hummed in between the kiss before he picked you up.

“take me to the bedroom..” you whispered between the kiss, against his lips as he nodded his head.

he held you before walking to your room as he closed the door, still kissing you..he placed you down as your hands cupped his cheeks, before he tugged on the side of your jeans, you pulled his hand off as you giggled in between the kiss before you bit his bottom lip, a soft wince mewling out his mouth as your tongue slid inside his mouth, exploring every inch of him before he picked you up again. you wrapped your arms around his neck still making out with him so..sloppy & passionately.. as he then placed you on the bed before he slightly towered over you before his hands made their way down to unbutton your jeans, pulling them off before he pulled away from the kiss. both of you breathless and lips all plumped, he took his shirt off tossing it somewhere around the room, you sat up slightly before he pulled the hem of your shirt to then over your head tossing it to the side, he leaned in one more time yet again kissing you deeply. you kissed back before his lips traveled down to your neck as he began to paint wet kisses on your skin, you closed your eyes as you felt his bulge slightly poke your clothed core. you whimpered softly as he bit your neck, he puled away before caressing your cheek. you removed the hairtie holding your ponytail as you let your hair fall down, he chuckled before towering you yet again. your arms placed on the bed as he lowered down, “don’t move..” he said as you nodded your head before he lowered down to your core.

he slightly opened your knees before he kissed your abdomen, “i love you..” he murmured holding your hand as you looked down at him, your cheeks turning pink the second his free hand began pulling down on your panties as they wrapped around your ankle, he chuckled against your core, a soft moan coming out of your lips. “please don’t..” you said whining before he pulled them off your ankles as he burried his face into your wet core, a whiny noise coming out of your throat, his tongue licking long stripes sucking around your clitoral area as your head slowly leaned back, he continued with his mouth sucking around your slit. you whiny moaned again, “o-oh my god j-jude..” his tongue licking your pussy ever inch before his tongue slipped inside your tongue. you gasped as your back slightly arched, your hand gripping his hand as his fingerpad rubbed your hand, your knees slightly closing just a bit, his face covered deep in your cunt. he looked up at you watching your facial expression, your moans being soft and whiny just like how he remembered, your chest rising up and down slowly, as he continued working his tongue all over your pussy, your fingers tangling his curls before he groaned.

you were moaning uncontrollably nearly on the edge of your orgasm, you felt his fingerpad rub the knib of your clit, tears forming into your eyes as your orgasm approached quicker, “j..i’m gonna c-cum..” you said moaning as his finger began pacing up.. you sat up on your elbows chasing your orgasm, throwing your head back your free hand gripping the sheets as your knees began shaking the second you released yourself. you moaned loudly at his tongue, he never stopped..he continued. that’s another thing that drove you crazy, he was wayyyy too drunk in your pussy, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as he chuckled at your emotions. he caressed your abdomen before you looked down at him, you blushed before he pulled away from your pussy, a string of your wetness all over his lips.

he chucked before wiping his mouth as he hovered above you again, “one more time then you can have me..” he said before placing his lips on yours kissing you deeply, you kissed back with a small mmph your hands finding his jaw, caressing his cheek before he held onto your back noticing yoh were sitting up, you continued kissing him deeply, feeling his tongue nearly slip inside your mouth meanwhile being distracted by being kissed.. judes finger slowly roamed down to your cunt again before pushing his two fingers into you. you moaned softly into his mouth as you cupped his cheek, eyes closing..feeling his finger slowly pump in and out of your walls, soft moans spilling in the middle of the kiss as jude swallowed your noises holding onto your back still as his free hand unclipped your bra, letting it loose off your chest, his fingers doing the work by curling up inside you as you leaned your head back, trying to catch your breath yet you were moaning uncontrollably.

you were breathing heavily and moaning in between your sounds, your head rolling back to look at him, a small chuckle coming out of him, “you want more? hmm?” he said, your head nodding slowly up and down before he leaned his forehead against yours. you whimpered looking away, a smack to your boob as you whined, “don’t look away from me baby..” he said before you looked at him, tears building up from your previous orgasm. his fingers thrusting quicker into you, looking up at him. he kissed you again as you kissed back, moaning messily into his mouth..your free hand holding onto his bicep, “close again aren’t ya?” he said before you felt his thumb rub your clit in circles, you moaned loudly as your thighs began shaking, “i-i’m gonna come..” a moan corrupting out your mouth, his thumb increasing his circular movements before you gripped onto the sheets, you moved away from the kiss as you closed your eyes before finding your release, chasing your orgasm, tightening around him. your back falling on the duvet, closing your legs rubbing your thighs as a few noises slipped out your mouth.

you were on the bed, legs shaking and breathing heavily trying to recover from your last two orgasm. suddenly you heard jude pulling his pants down, you looked over at him before you blushed heavily. “shhhh..i’ll be careful..not unless you tell me to move..” he said as you nodded your head, he crawled on the bed placing his hands next to your head..his hand stroking his shaft slowly as he groaned. you looked down whining, your eyes watching him stroke himself as you felt yourself get wetter. he looked up at you, before he chuckled at your reaction..his hand lining himself against your entrance, “look at me.” he said as you nodded your head, you felt him push himself into you. your eyes rolling back feeling his cock stuff you inside, his thick veiny length slowly stretching you out, “..so..big..” you said as he chuckled, leaning his head against your forehead..nearly almost cupping his cheek he held your hand placing it next to your ear, “let me prove it to you..okay?”

he said as you nodded your head, your legs next to his hips before he began to rock his hips slowly against your walls, you and jude already getting noisy, it had been awhile without feeling each other. both of you letting out soft sinful noises, especially you. it felt so good..so so so..delicously. your knees slowly jolting with judes thrust, small groans escaping judes mouth, “look at me..f-fuck baby..watch my cock slip out of..fuuuckkk..you..” he whispered as your eyes rolled back, slowly feeling himself increase his speed. your head leaning back before jude grabbed your chin, “nuh uh..watch, pretty girl.” he said as you whimepred in response before you looked down watching him slip out of you, so easily..

you moaned uncontrollably before resting your head into the duvet, “so wet and tight..” jude murmured before nuzzling his face into your neck, his moans near your ear driving you insane. you felt yourself get wetter and wetter. his thrusts so deeply and slowly.

he cupped your cheek before turning to look at you. a whiny noise coming out of your mouth suddenly coming back to your realization from your frenzy, “hey baby..” he said as you giggled softly in between your moans his hand cupping your cheek..you leaned in before he kissed you hushing your moans. you kissed back, your hands cupping his cheek as well..his cock hitting so deeply making you shut your eyes at some point, you moaned non stop wrapping your legs around his lower back. your free hand scratching his back with your nails, he moaned in between the kiss as his hand placed next to your head massaged around your boob. you bit on his lower lip, french kissing him..his tongue running along the side of your lips. your tongue and judes tongue sliding on each others, both of you matching the energy as you whiny moaned feeling the tips of his finger pinch your nipple. he pulled away as he breathed heavily, a string of saliva breaking the connection before he chuckled, “my favorite thing to do..” he said before thrusting sloppily again.

your wetness coating his inner thighs, sounds of your wetness squelching making you whiny moan in between. you cupped his cheek again, “i l-love you..” you sighed out before kissing him again, he kissed back yet again..his lips were on you before he gripped onto your boob again, his speed increasing at your tightening. you felt yourself at the same state, your orgasm approaching “jude..jude,jude,jude..” you moaned out as he looked at you, “i know sweet girl..i know..” he said a whine coming out your mouth before he began pounding mercilessly into your skin, “o-oh my g-god!” you screamed out, his tip hitting your g-spot. “k-keep going! r-right th-“ you moaned out before jude slightly pressed on your throat, you choked on your moans before he looked down at you, “you’re mine. understand that from now on..and after this..fuck. after this moment..” he said moaning out, your eyes rolling back..his cock perfectly stuffing your pussy.

you let out a cry the second he let go of your throat, you felt your lower stomach slowly starting to burn and warm up your body, more warmer than the hot air sorrounding you and jude, your breathing insanely being heavy as your chest rose like crazy.. the over sensitivity hitting you quickly as the delicous pain felt so so so..good.

you were in heaven, on edge from the intense pain and pleasure roaming your body. your moans getting louder and high pitched, “jude!” you screamed out his name before you gushed all over him, your tightness causing jude to moan loudly just a tad bit before he came inside of you, his cum shooting deep inside you. painting youe walls as you milked him empty from inside, you scratched his back.. your nails deeply caved into the skin of his back.

his head falling on your boobs breathing heavily as you played with his curls, his breathing ragged before you tapped on his shoulder. “hey..l-look at m-me..” you said before he raised his head up looking up at you, “so..did i prove you wrong?” he said chuckling before you giggled with him, “no silly..i want you with me forever..” you said as he smiled, “i love you with all my heart y/n..” he said kissing your lips before you kissed back, “come on now..let’s get you cleaned..” he said.

he sat up before standing up, you sat up as your body felt wobbly. he held you bridal style before walking to your bathroom, he sat you down on the counter before he started the water on your bath, you giggled watching him. “you’re so cute..already doing these stuff for me..” you said before he walked over to you, he kissed your forehead as you smiled. “come on now..” he said smiling before carrying you again, he held your hand helping you get in the tub as you sat in the warm water before he sat in as well behind you.

you leaned your head against his chest as he smiled looking down against you, “can’t get enough of you..” he said kissing your cheek before you giggled.

#jude bellingham one shots #jude bellingham smut #jude bellingham x reader #football x reader #football smut #football one shots #football imagine #jude bellingham imagine

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gingiesworld · 7 months

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Obsessions (5/?)

Wanda Maximoff x Rogers Fem Reader

Warnings: angst, longing, huge time skip. Grief. Fluff

Taglist: @sytoran @ginnsbaker @gb12d @lifespectator @natashamaximoff-69 @wizardofstories @canvascoloredin

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 6

18+ MINORS DNI

The last four years flew by, Wanda graduated from the local college as she constantly looked on Y/N's social media. Seeing she had been silent for the last two years.

"Have you heard from Y/N?" Wanda questioned her twin who sighed.

"Look Wanda, I am not going to be in the middle of this thing you have going on." He told her bluntly.

"I'm worried about her, Pietro." Wanda stated as he just shook his head.

"It's a little late now." He scoffed as he stood up from the sofa. "Also if you're wondering, Christine broke up with her and she has been in England for the past year."

"Why?" Wanda pressed as he sighed.

"Peggy is dying." He told her, tears in his eyes. "Y/N needed to be with her mom so she referred the last year of college to stay with Peggy." He watched as Wanda started up the stairs. "How you use this information is now on you Wanda. What you decide to do now will impact the two of you."

Wanda knew exactly what she needed to do. She needed to be the friend for Y/N, the friend she should have been all of those years ago. So she booked a flight to Heathrow, a one way ticket as she didn't know how long she would be there for. How long she needed to be there for.

Y/N had been staying at a hotel nearby the family home, not wanting to stay under the roof as she needed some time to herself as her Uncle and cousin would be there to help her. Y/N was shocked the moment she heard a knock on the door, opening the door unsurely to see Wanda on the other side.

"What are you doing here?" She asked her bluntly as Wanda sighed.

"I wanted to be here for you." She told her, stepping inside and dropping her bag on the floor. "Pietro told me."

"He had no right." Y/N spat as she glared at the woman before her. "I managed to get through losing my dad without you and I can sure as hell get through losing mom without you here."

"I am not going anywhere Y/N." Wanda told her softly, reaching for Y/N's hands. "I am right where I need to be." Y/N searched her eyes for any signs of regret, Y/N soon captured her lips in a hard kiss which Wanda soon pushed her away. "I am not doing this with you again Y/N." She told her sternly. "You are in a vulnerable state and I will not take advantage of you like that."

"You're not taking advantage!" Y/N yelled as Wanda watched her pace the floor before stopping and looking out of the window at the city below them. "I guess, you're right. I am not in the right mindset for that." Wanda listened as she spoke. "I guess I just, I can't lose her Wanda." For the first time in years, Wanda had seen some form of emotion in her eyes. "She is my mom, how am I supposed to go on without her. I lost my dad and that was ok I guess. I had mom and we got through it together but now, who do I have?"

"You have me." Wanda told her confidently. "I am here Y/N. I am right where I want to be. Where I need to be." Wanda stepped closer. "And I am not going anywhere." Y/N let her walls down and sobbed, Wanda opened her arms for her to hold as she cried and cried. Whispering sweet words to her and just holding her in a warm embrace as she cried.

At some point throughout the night, Wanda had moved the two towards the bed as Y/N started to lose her energy, tired from the overwhelming emotions she never wanted to feel again. She soon woke to Wanda talking lowly on the phone as she ran her hand through Y/N's hair.

"I don't think she is doing too well Piet." Wanda spoke softly, not paying too much attention to the girl in her lap looking up at her. "Yes, I am here for the long haul." Wanda scoffed at something her brother said. "No. I am not going to leave her alone. Leaving her in the first place is my biggest regret and I have to live with that."

"Hey." Y/N spoke softly as she tried to save Wanda from a conversation with her brother. "Tell him I'll call him later." She asked Wanda who relayed the message. Wanda watched as Y/N had gotten up and walked into the bathroom. Washing her face before looking at her reflection in the mirror. She looked exhausted and weak, there was barely any life left in her eyes. She didn't even recognise the girl staring back at her.

"Y/N?" Wanda knocked on the door after realising Y/N was in the bathroom for a long period of time.

"Yes?" She asked as she stepped out to see a concerned Wanda.

"I'm going to go and book another room but please just call me if you need anything." Wanda told her.

"Anything?" She asked with a raised brow.

"Anything but that." Wanda told her firmly, stepping away from her. "I already told you I am not going to do anything like that with you while everything is going on."

"You mean my mom dying and me becoming an orphan?" Y/N sneered as Wanda sighed sadly. "I'm sorry." She apologised as she went to grab a bottle of water. "I guess I am just not used to this right now." She pointed between the two of them.

"I am trying to be a friend to you again. I am trying to be the person I should have been all along. The friend I should have been regardless of my own insecurities." Wanda told her.

"Just go home Wanda." Y/N told her sadly. "I just, I don't think I can deal with this right now."

"I am not leaving you." Wanda told her firmly.

"Yes you are." Y/N spat. "You did it easily all of those years ago."

"Yes I did and I hate myself for it." Wanda told her. "Please give me this chance to show you that I am here now. I am all in with whatever this is." She pointed between the two as Y/N sighed, tears in her eyes as she saw the best friend she used to love before she turned her back on her.

"The hotel is fully booked and there isn't another one for about 45 mins away." Y/N told her softly. "You can take the bed and I'll take the sofa."

"No." Wanda shook her head as she wore a gentle smile on her face. "You take the bed and I'll take the sofa."

"You won't fit on it." Y/N stated as Wanda laughed.

"And you will? You're taller than me Y/N." She told her as Y/N nodded in agreement.

"I guess the bed is big enough for the two of us." She shrugged as Wanda agreed. The two did their nightly routines before settling on the bed, leaving a gap between the two. Wanda turned to look at Y/N who remained looking at the hands in her lap.

"I have been seeing my therapist since leaving New York." Wanda told her. "I have figured out a lot of the reasons I was the way I was. I know it's not an excuse but maybe one day we can talk about it all?"

"Maybe." Y/N told her. "I think we do need to talk about it all, but after my mom because I don't think I can deal with all of the grief alone."

"You won't be alone Y/N, I am going to be here for you. Every step." Wanda took Y/N's hand and gave her a reassuring squeeze as Y/N gazed at her.

"I missed you. This version of you." Y/N whispered as her tears started to fall. "This is the version of you I have always loved." Wanda just gave her a guilty look before lifting Y/N's hand and kissing it gently.

"Get some rest." Wanda told her softly. "You're going to need it." Y/N just nodded before bidding goodnight and turning away from Wanda.

As the days blurred together, the pain grew more and more as Peggy came closer to her last breath. Especially since the diagnosis, this was the worst thing for her family to watch. They all witnessed her start to fade away, the disease slowly taking her away. The soft words of love and affection were spoken to each of her family until it was just Y/N left with her. A smile on Peggy's face as she took her daughter's hand.

"I have always been proud of the person you have become." She told her as Y/N listened. "You have a huge heart Y/N, don't ever lose sight of the good in the world, in your relationships."

"Mom." Y/N started as Peggy hushed her.

"Wanda came back." She whispered. "She has changed, well she is more like the little girl I knew when you first introduced her to your father and I." Y/N wiped a tear that fell. "Don't push her away because of the past. Communicate with her. Become friends again and maybe in the distant future, you may become more."

"I don't think so." Y/N whispered as Peggy took a labored breath.

"You two are a match made in heaven." She told her. "You just need to work out the past and work towards the future."

"I'm going to miss you." Y/N whispered shakily as Peggy gave her a sad smile.

"I am never going to be too far." Peggy told her with a smile. "I will always be in your heart with your father." Y/N watched as Peggy started to lose consciousness, she witnessed her take her last breath before she left the room. The feeling of the warmth of Peggy's hand slowly fading as she walked through the halls. Her whole being numb as the world around her seemed to blur. Walking to the nearest pub and ordering a pint as she sat at the bar. The sound of the music melded in with the sound of the sports commentator on the football match playing on the TV.

Wanda entered the pub and took a seat beside them, ordering herself a drink and another for Y/N. She knew that drinking may not be the best thing right now but Y/N needed her more than anything.

"She's gone." Y/N whispered as Wanda sipped her pint beside her. "She's with dad now and I am here. Alone."

"You're not alone Y/N." Wanda told her comfortingly. "I am not leaving you, not again."

"How am I supposed to trust that?" Y/N asked quietly.

"I don't know." Wanda gave a tight lipped smile before talking once more. "I guess I have to earn the trust that I lost back. I have to show you that I mean every word I am saying because I mean it Y/N. I will be here with you. For everything."

"I guess we can be somewhat acquaintances." Y/N smirked as Wanda nodded with a giggle.

"To new acquaintances." Wanda clinked her glass with Y/N who just smiled. The first genuine smile she had given the brunette before her.

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff #marvel #elizabeth olsen #elizabeth olsen x reader #wanda x you #wanda x y/n #wanda x reader #wanda maximoff x you #natasha romanoff

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stormberry-12 · 5 months

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faceless // P3: yes sir. negative ~ charles leclerc x reader

pairing: charles leclerc x fem!driver!reader

includes/authors notes: language, lack of equal rights/ gender equality, readers an unknown figure in the races, fem!reader's gender assumed as male, use of "y/n". So sorry this took so long, I've had some mega writters block and no motivation really. But I hope it's still good and thank you so much for all the kind feedback, it means a lot! <3

Bold Italics are the past.

Normal Italics are thoughts.

summary: "There is a new mysterious driver on the grid. Nobody knows who he is, the only thing we know is that he races for Red Bull with the number 66. Other drivers call him the faceless driver for none have ever seen his face or heard him speak. The faceless driver is a legend in the making and even giving Lewis Hamilton and Max Verstappen a run for their money…”

~<>~<>~<>~<>~

"No fucking way mate," Lando choked out his words, "Holy fuck-"

Lando's face had never looked so shocked, he scratched the inner corner of his left eye as if he thought he was seeing something. And when his eyes focused back on you, you could see his mind filling with questions. His eyes flickered from the helmet sitting on the ground to the tears brimming in your eyes.

"Oh my god," you sobbed into your hands as your mind began to race.

Should you run away?

'Oh, sorry Lando, no you must have seen my celebrity doppelganger in the suit earlier. It wasn't me-"

"No wait, don't cry-" he protested, rushing over and crouching down next to you on the ground, "You're my idol, I'm like obsessed with your driving, you're frickin' amazing-"

"Oh, shut up Lando!" you snapped, instantly feeling bad for yelling in his face. He was silent for a moment, not taken aback by your outburst though. "Sorry," you whispered.

You looked up to see him scanning your face intently. "You haven't told Charles yet," he said matter-of-factly like he could read your life all of a sudden.

You shook your head.

"Who else knows?"

"Just you and Christian-"

"Heh, I'm so special,"

"Lando stop!" you cried quietly, feeling more tears forming. "You weren't supposed to find out and I'm so going to get fired for this-"

"Why would you be fired?" he asked, "You're the driver keeping Red Bull afloat right now while Max is shittin' the bed,"

"Because. It's part of my contract that no one knows who I am,"

"Who came up with that shit?"

You furrowed your eyebrows at him, "What shit?"

"Your contract rules," he said.

"We both did. I didn't want to be in the media, I've never liked it. And Christian just agreed I guess-"

"But you and Charles were just in a video together, you've been doing media anyway," He chuckled dryly.

True.

"And you and Charles love each other, I can see it in your eyes, I don't think the media content is going to stop anytime soon. Frankly, they will ask you to do more now that you've already agreed once."

Also true.

"I understand that privacy is important to you but..."

"Yeah, I know, I know... you're right," you said, wiping tears away from under your eyes, thinking back to the tweets you had just read, "After the video went out I was expecting so much worse but nothing happened, I might need to take a chill pill."

"Maybe..." he said slowly. "And why should-"

"-I care what people on the internet think of me?" you stole the words right out of Lando's mouth, a smile growing on his face. "Charles tells me that every time I don't help with his Twitch streams,"

"Right, you're thinking like a media-trained F1 driver already!" he grinned. "Except, I don't think you're getting enough credit for your racing because you keep that helmet on all the damn time. Just one guy's opinion though,"

You hummed in response, getting lost in your own mind again.

"I won't tell a soul, I promise," He crossed his hand over his heart, "Scouts honor,"

For some reason, you felt you could trust Lando. You gave him a small smile and let your shoulders relax, taking deep breaths to calm your nerves. He stood up and offered you his hand, you took it gladly and rose to your feet. "I think you should talk to Christian about it,"

"I will, thanks Lan,"

"No problem," he winked, slowly stepping away, "And for what it's worth I truly meant what I said before. You're amazing, don't let them push you around or tell you otherwise. You gotta pave the way for all the little girls out there."

That shook you to your core.

You had never thought about your career that way and it bothered you how oblivious you had been.

How could you not realize the impact you could be making for the girls who dream of racing just like you had? Who cared what some old guy on the internet thought about women in motorsport, he needed to grow up. And you needed to make a difference. It was all sliding into place.

Also, since when had Lando been that well-spoken in his life?

After a quick 'See you on track,' you and Lando parted ways towards your respected garages. Pulling your helmet over your face, you stepped out of the alleyway and marched towards the blue and red signs of the Red Bull garage.

Christian gave you a look through your visor as you walked up to the car, you just nodded, he hated it when you were late. You climbed into the car and tried to shake the nerves out of your body, you could see a camera in your peripherals, panning the garage and landing on you.

Pave the way Y/n.

This newfound purpose gave you anxiety but at the same time a different kind of drive to your craft. You could feel the car hum beneath you, grateful for the all-clear from the team, you exited the garage to start warming up your tires.

"Radio check, you ready for this?"

"Yep. Copy."

Shit, that sounded forced didn't it? Why were you acting so weird? Be yourself Y/n.

"Ah, not going to humor me today? That's too bad mate," Rick chuckled.

"Don't know why but it smells like barbeque in the car,"

"You've got a problem, change your fucking carrrr,"

"No, you change your car because Checo has been saying the car is fucked-"

This had Ricky howling with laughter over the mic.

"Okay, that's enough lads." Christian stepped in, pulling the plug on you and Rick mocking him.

"Fun police..." Ricky sighed.

"I'm not a fun police, do your job Richard."

"You are a fun police, I have it on record. I hAvE it, I hAve iT pRiNteD oUt!"

"66."

"Sorry." you replied, giggling to yourself and waving back at Lando as you passed.

~<>~<>~<>~<>~

"Damn it!" Charles cursed stomping towards the Ferrari garage. He had just spun out two races in a row and had to, unfortunately, retire from the race.

Walking into the garage he could feel all eyes on him as he stuffed his gloves and balaclava into his helmet angrily. A few engineers and his trainer gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder as he walked past, but no one dared to interact with Charles while he was this livid.

He needed y/n.

She was who he always needed after a bad race, he walked to his driver's room remembering the spin-out from his previous race hoping that y/n would actually be there this time.

"Where's y/n?"

"I don't know mate, sorry. She disappeared a while ago," an engineer named Fred shrugged.

But of course, as he opened the door she was nowhere to be found once again. Thoughts ran through his mind a hundred miles per minute

Had she always left after he got into the car and never actually watched him race?

Is he not as important to her as she made it seem?

Was she just in this for the money like a few of the girls he had been with before?

No, y/n isn't like that. He told himself, but still, he felt that pang of uncertainty in his chest. It would certainly be the reason why whenever he asked for her opinion on his performance it was almost as if she didn't remember what happened, she would just nod, smile, and agree with whatever he said.

Charles sat down on the couch and shut the door to his room. The TV had the race on and he watched the 19 remaining cars complete lap after lap.

He couldn't watch this anymore...

"Ohh! That was a nasty hit from Verstappen from behind- SOMEONE HAS SPUN INTO THE WALL AND IT LOOKS TO BE THE OTHER RED BULL!"

"Oh my, it is! I can tell you right now Crofty, Christian Horner is not going to be pleased about that,"

"The race has just been red-flagged and we are currently awaiting more news on the second Red Bull driver. Here's a replay, there's Max Verstappen in third and his teammate ahead of him in second."

"And Verstappen was told to hold position because both drivers were in the podium places, Max is slightly slower than his teammate with very worn tires, but he pushes them anyway and tries to go for the very forced overtake. And there it is! Now why does he swerve into his teammate?!? This is mind-boggling to me-"

Charles looked up from his phone and back to the television. A bright 66 is painted on the Red Bull that is in pieces on the edge of the track. And as the camera zooms into the smoking race car, the eerie silence in Charles's driver's room makes his chest tighten slightly.

"Oh dear, it seems we have no verbal conformation from the driver so as you can see the medical car has made it's way to the scene."

Charles watches the unconscious driver slowly get pulled from the car and layed on a stretcher right there on the side of the track. They lift the visor of his helmet and shine a light across the driver's face as their eyes flutter awake. Beautiful eyes that Charles had engraved in his brain from the moment he met her.

Tag List: @xxelin @summerslike11 @inlovewith-fictionalcharacters @trashcanrat @gramelda @magicman090909 @femalestarlord @captainbaeameric @cilliansfriend @heyheyheyggg @marvelobssesedperson

@remuslupinsbtch@callsign-scully @spermdonationcenter @ferraribabe @jjsprobablywrong @fayetheenthusiast @tillyt04 @iwouldkillformarvel @leclercsluv @deffonotab @ghosttwit @clechairluvbot @roseamongthorns13 @ravenqueen27

@compositionbook-nonnie @berryhrts @margreetribian @justcallmeelli @spacius @nonosave51 @haus-of-meme-ories @notleclerc @meadhbhcavanagh @steephanie07 @not-epc @talksoprettyjjx @marekmybeloved @elle-451 @vellicora @runway-to-my-aid @wherethefuckisthething

#storms library #formula 1 #charles leclerc #charles leclerc x reader #f1 #faceless driver trend #fanfiction

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shuttershocky · 4 days

Note

Is there any power scaling discussion that will inevitably make you feel the need to respond, no matter how irrelevant power scaling is to the actual media in question?

"How did Nero defeat Vergil at the end of DMC5 he's only 1/4th demon he should be much weaker wahh wahh plot armor"

First of all, Nero won because he wanted to win more than Vergil did. Second of all, Vergil's used to fighting an agile clown like Dante and not a brute gorilla like Nero who has no problem with just grabbing him and slamming him into the dirt repeatedly until he cries uncle.

BUT ALSO we know that human blood fuels demons in Devil May Cry. They have to consume it to grow their powers, which is why these guys keep powering all their infernal machinery with blood and why the tree whose fruit is kingmaker of the underworld must feed on human blood.

Before Nero, it looks like Vergil and Dante's strength came from being the sons of Sparda, who was Mundus' strongest soldier and was able to solo all of hell for his lady love.

But honestly I think a lot of their power comes from their nature as hybrids. When Urizen consumes the same fruit that made Mundus king of the underworld, he gets torn a brand new asshole by Dante working with an 8 year old's logic (if Vergil cut himself in two with the Yamato, maybe stabbing myself with Rebellion glues both my sides tighter?) and it actually works.

Not only is Dante's SIN Devil Trigger form written down in Nico's notes as matching (or even surpassing) Sparda's peak, he crushes Urizen both before and after the latter consumes the fruit containing human blood worth millions, completely mystifying the demon king because what the fuck kind of bullshit powerup is that?

Urizen's only able to match Dante's strength once V fuses his human self back into him to recreate Vergil.

I think being a demon-human hybrid basically acts like an infinite human blood battery. It's already inside you and never runs out because your body just makes more blood. The demonic side isn't granting the power, it's granting the abilities; the human side is the gas fueling this killing machine.

The whole time Sparda was turning on his own hell legions for Earth pussy he was unknowingly stumbling into the blueprint for creating unbeatable demonic super soldiers, and had no idea.

Every time Dante defeated the likes of Mundus or Argosax they must have been calling horseshit because there's no way they're getting destroyed by this buffoon just because he's Sparda's son when fighting skills aren't something you inherit like it's hair color, not realizing Dante's powers are fueled by his own blood (and plenty of self-stabbing).

This means that Nero is not inherently weaker than Vergil or Dante by having less demon in him, because it's the hybrid nature itself being their strength.

While Nero's powers aren't as mature as theirs, his demonic strength is enough to grab both Dante and Vergil's SIN devil trigger forms and push them back when they charged at full might, and in fact he's physically strong enough to lift giants like Goliath and ragdoll them around like their name is Bluto and he's just eaten a can of spinach.

Dante even points out at the end that Vergil cut off his own son's arm for more power and the son still kicked his ass anyway. By the end of DMC5 Nero doesn't need the Yamato anymore to do Buster moves, he can shape his own aura into arms to punch and grab things just as effectively, making him completely independent from actually using any devil arms to fight (he only needs human weapons like Lady does). He's strong enough that Dante trusts him with protecting the world by himself while Dante goes to hell, which is a big ask given you know, everything in DMC 1-4.

TL;DR - Nero strong

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helpallthenamesaretakenblog · 22 days

Text

The Judo Flip Scene; The Scene that Divided the Percy Jackson Fandom: What Went Wrong?

Annabeth grabbed his wrist and flipped him over her shoulder. He slammed into the stone pavement. Romans cried out. Some surged forward, but Reyna shouted, “Hold! Stand down!”

Annabeth put her knee on Percy’s chest. She pushed her forearm against his throat. She didn’t care what the Romans thought. A white-hot lump of anger expanded in her chest—a tumor of worry and bitterness that she’d been carrying around since last autumn.

“If you ever leave me again,” she said, her eyes stinging, “I swear to all the gods—”

Percy had the nerve to laugh. Suddenly the lump of heated emotions melted inside Annabeth.

“Consider me warned,” Percy said. “I missed you, too.

-Mark of Athena

This scene is one of the, if not most, controversial scenes in the entirety of Rick Riordan's books. It has caused many fans to go deep into the morality of the scene--into the question of boundaries, whether it is just a good boundaries into Percy and Annabeth's relationships or just abusive behaviour. In this post, I will talk about my opinion on, 'What went wrong?'

First, let us dissect this scene, shall we? We have Annabeth, who has lost her only proof of permanence for six months. The guy she was dreading would die for five years before she thought they had their happy ending was suddenly snatched in a time where she thought life couldn't get any better. During this time;

she saw jason falling in love with piper and was stressed that percy would be doing the same without her

she was stressed percy would never even remember her.

she canonically spent hundreds and thousands of drachmas (and probably time too) on iris messaging every monster and god she could just so that she could find him

she spent a WHOLE lot of energy on this.

she was probably advised by people in camp to find another guy, probably got these comments regularly

she was also troubled by athena's roman form to find athena parthenos statue and ditch finding percy, which must have been hard to handle

she was in charge of helping build a WHOLE WAR SHIP

she was also in charge of rebuilding the home of the gods

And you know what? It makes sense that she would have all of these emotions buried inside her. It makes sense that she would be angry, stressed, and depressed and that she would bury all of this inside. "During their separation, something had happened to Annabeth’s feelings. They’d grown painfully intense—like she’d been forced to withdraw from a life-saving medication. Now she wasn’t sure which was more excruciating—living with that horrible absence, or being with him again" Yep, homegirl was going through some stuff.

Though we don't know what his thoughts were on his point of view, from the fact that he laughs and never brings it up later, we can conclude that Rick wanted us to know that he didn't care, and that these interactions are common between both of them, though one could argue that isn't really reliable.

So; Annabeth having an outburst of emotions is a completely normal reaction, judging the amount of things she has gone through, even though it isn't the right way to express her feelings. But, why is the judo flip scene actually bad? Why did it give even percabeth shippers the ick?

The Way Rick Wrote It: Rick treated the scene as if it was funny, Annabeth was such a girly girlboss who did it to keep Percy in his place. "I only judoflip my boyfriend". And people were mad. Mad that girls are portrayed to be girlbosses by making them violent. Mad that this violence was against a guy who was implied to be abused in his childhood.

My Argument: This scene was written in a time where media with violent comedy was popular among kids (tom and jerry, oggy and the cockroaches, i see you), and that it aged badly. Another important thing: a lot of the fandom also thought of it as percabeth's most romantic moments, and hyped it up so much, which contributes towards the whole ick of the scene.

My Argument: One thing to take into account was that the romans were really on guard when the greeks arrived. they were scared it was going to be an ambush. so when annabeth judoflips percy, their nerves took over. i fully believe the humor of 'i only judoflip my bf' was just their way of diffusing a potentially dangerous situation of misunderstanding.

But in the end I do agree, the way this was written was a major disservice to the feelings that Annabeth was experiencing that time. Rick failed to portray that scene as an exhausted traumatised teenager having an unhealthy outburst of emotions, which is what it really was. Instead, he tried to make it a funny type of scene, and the fandom carried it forward by hyping the scene up as if it was one of percabeth's most romantic moments, and even though the intentions were good, he failed to convey the meaning behind what they said properly.

So now that we've answered the question this post was made for, I'd like to end this post with a positive note. I'd like to point out that in cotg, there is no moment that annabeth physically hurted (hurted is too much of an overstatement) percy if you think about it, which shows that she has improved. If you want proof, I searched any time where Annabeth teased percy physically when he said something 'stupid' and what I found was 'nudged me with her toe' and 'lightly pinched me'. So, even though Rick messed up in writing that one scene more than ten years ago, it's safe to say he has improved.

****************************************************************

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luvlunajpg · 6 days

Text

Insecurities

♡ pairing: johnnie x Plus size female reader

♡ summary: You caught johnnie doing something unexpected which ends up in losing your virginity

♡ classification: fluff and smut

♥︎ anon note: hey guys! Luna here ( ^ω^ )

This fanfic was requested by a fellow reader from my previous fanfic. This was a challenge for me as insecurities comes in many forms and i fear that i would trigger any of my beautiful johnnie girlies out there :( . I sincerely apologise if there is any part of the story triggered you or made you feel like its not accurate to what body insecurities actually feels like. Some people go through insecurities differently and i really want you to know that no matter how different we are, everyone is beautiful periodt. I love you guys so much! Thank you for the love and support on my previous fanfic.

XOXO Luna ♥︎

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ ༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚ ༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆.✧˚ ༘˚⋆ ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ ༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆

You and Johnnie have been dating for awhile and today just happens to be your anniversary with him. Since Johnnie is busy streaming, you suggest that the both of you to stay at home to watch movies and cuddle the whole night. You and johnnie were never the kind of couple to celebrate publicly. Both of you prefer to just spend time with eachother at home where you and johnnie can have more privacy.

You prepare the blankets, pillows and picked up the delivered food at your doorstep. After preparing for the night you giggled at the set up and took a picture to post it on social media. After admiring your efforts, you head over to Johnnie’s office to peek on his progress on the livestream. As you were few steps closer to his office, your heart immediately sank hearing your boyfriends moans and groans through the door. Your brain was flooded with all kinds of scenarios. Was he lying? What is he doing? Is he facetiming another girl? Why is he moaning like that? Why would he do that during a livestream?

You spare no time and immediately slammed the door open. Johnnie gasped and threw his phone across the room and tries his best to hide his boner. You were in tears, your heart broke into a million pieces, you couldn’t stop sobbing and soon enough you fell to your knees in front of him.

“Noo.. baby please.. i’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-“ johnnie got cut off by sharp slap across his face

“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU WOULD CHEAT ON ME ON OUR ANNIVERSARY JOHNNIE HOW COULD YOU!” You cried to your hands feeling your heart crumble even more hearing him apologise. Johnnie sigh and grab his phone to show you a picture of yourself in a skirt and heart garter suspenders. That picture was posted this morning as you just put that outfit together for an upcoming concert next week.

“I was masturbating ok… Im sorry Y/N you look so hot in that outfit i couldn’t help myself. I know how you feel towards sex and i respect that but i just can’t help myself. I’m- i’m so sorry Y/N..” johnnie sighs in disappointment.

He cups your face before breaking down into tears, leaving you more heartbroken than before. You’ve always told Johnnie how insecure you are with your body which made you never want to lose your virginity anytime soon. You have always been on the plus size side ever since High school, you have never had a boyfriend and Johnnie just so happens to love you just the way you are. But you were not ready because you were afraid of the way Johnnie would see you afterwards. You have zero experience in sex and you’re also insecure on how you would look like during sex. After seeing your boyfriend sob on your thighs, you start to realise how Johnnie is more than perfect to be the one to be your first. He has been accepting your flaws since day one and still continue to accept it until now.

“Johnnie.. i’m ready.” You lift johnnie’s head to meet his teary blue eyes.

“No baby please, i don’t want to force you. I want you to be sincerely ready.” Johnnie shook his head and holds your hand tight.

“I would never want to lose it to anyone else Johnnie Guilbert. I want you to be my first.” You smiled at him to assure him that you really wanted this. Johnnie pecks your forehead and tells you to get yourself ready so that you are more comfortable. You nodded in response before heading out to shave, shower and wear an outfit that was meant for Johnnie only. A black bra and the same miniskirt and garter suspenders that was in the post. After looking at yourself in the mirror for one last time you head to you and Johnnie’s shared bedroom only to see the room being dim and a few rose petals sprinkled on the bed.

“You like it..? I want it to be more romantic for us.” Johnnie asks as he wraps his arms around your waist, hugging you from the back. You turned around and kissed Johnnie on the lips feeling his lip ring brushing against your lips

“Its perfect my love” you stroke Johnnie’s cheeks as he admires your outfit. He bit his lips admiring you from head to toe as he lightly pushes you on the bed. He strips himself leaving him with only his boxers and continue to kiss you passionately. Your tongues are wrestling in eachothers mouth as Johnnie unclasp your bra exposing your nipple piercing

“Holy fuck Y/N…” johnnie groans as that is his first time seeing them. You immediately got embarrassed and covered your boobs, feeling your face heat up every second. “Hey baby.. its okay. They’re so beautiful. Can’t wait to feel them against my tongue” Johnnie assures as he slowly removes your hands pinning them above your head as he licks the tip of your nipples gently before swirling them around in his mouth. You were a moaning mess, it felt so good you threw your head back on the bed. Johnnie moves on from your nipples and leaves a trail of kisses from your chest all the way to your belly. He removes every last bit of your clothing leaving you naked infront of him, johnnie steps back abit to see his beautiful naked girlfriend laying down infront of him. You felt your insecurities rising from the tip of your toes to the roots of your hair, you immediately sit up and covered your body as your face turns red again.

Johnnie smiles in awe as he removes your hands from your body kissing every part he touches.

“Baby you’re so beautiful… don’t cover up. I love you so so much, the wait was so worth it my love” johnnie says as he leaves kisses from your face all the way to your entrance.

He licks his lips before dragging his tongue on your entrance causing you to moan and grip onto his hair. Johnnie smoothly licks your folds as his thumb massages your clit leaving you a moaning mess under his touch. As you grew wetter, johnnie removes his boxers pressing his hard length against your wetness. He gives you a peck on the nose before pushing himself slowly into you causing you to groan as you feel your walls stretch around his dick. Johnnie gives you time to adjust as he never stops giving you kisses on your neck and face, he holds your hand tight to give you more support. You nodded to assure him to continue, johnnie nods back in response thrusting slowly in and out of you leaving him a groaning mess.

“Fuck! Y/n you’re so tight” Johnnie moaned out as his thrusts are getting faster and harder, but not hard enough for you to feel pain. You were moaning against johnnie’s chest as you feel yourself coming close.

“Fuck johnnie! I’m going to-“ your sentence got cut off as you squeal and cum all over Johnnie’s big length. Seconds later Johnnie pulls out and cum all over the bedsheet as he rolls his eyes to the back before plopping himself down onto the empty spot beside you. After the both of you catch your breaths you wrap your arms around johnnie’s chest cuddling into his skin.

“happy anniversary my beautiful queen” johnnie says as he kisses your head before heading to sleep with you.

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ ༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚ ༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆.✧˚ ༘˚⋆ ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ ༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚ ༘˚⋆ ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹

#johnnie guilbert x reader #johnnie fanfiction #johnnie guilbert smut fanfic #johnnie guilbert fluff #johnnie guilbert fanfiction #johnnie guilbert smut #johnnie guilbert fanfic #johnnie x reader #johnnie smut #jake and johnnie #johnnie guilbert #johnnie guilbert smut and fluff #johnnie guilbert x femreader

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isabbellle · 3 months

Note

Hi! Can I request a Minji-centric angst with the reader or members worrying and comforting her because of the hate train, would love it to be angst with like making you cry cause you feel for Minji and then lots of fluff with the other girls making it better, please🤍

>OMG!! my first request!!!🫨

>Sure why not!🤍

>Requested;by Anonymous

>My first ever angst😜,so it might not be that good…..

>Reader is the maknae possibly 09’liner but you can imagine 08’liner if you want.

•Warnings:Die/lots of hates comments,Minji gets lots of hate.

“Please don’t say words like that especially in front of Hyein and Yn,they’re still minors and specifically yn she’s only 14” Minji stated firmly to the camera talking to the haters and people who kept on telling her to die.

Both you and Minji decided to a live together of course with the permission of your manager.

A few mins into the live Minji saw some hates comments but didn’t think much of it and shrugged it off Since you didn’t see it.

You were telling your fans how you get ready for school so your eyes weren’t able to see the comments which Minji thanked God for.

Another comment popped up saying Minji should die and kill herself but this time this comment caught your eye probably because it was written in bold letters with exclamation marks.

Those words hit Minji like a hard rock because she had never seen the real bad side of being an idol.

Especially Since the comments were telling her to die,to loose her self because of what?

They don’t like her or aren’t satisfied.

She’s putting her every best to what she’s doing and being the oldest of the group isn’t easy at all especially with 3minors she has to look out for the most.

And since you were reading the comments……It was very bold and legible,the person kept on smiling.

You gave Minji a worried and concerned look but she returned with a smile which was obviously fake.

You could tell how much she wanted to cry.

Minji addressed the hater and told them to be mindful and careful of their words especially towards minors.

She screenshotted the comment and was probably going to send it to Ador or the manager.

After the vlive ended Minji sighed and placed her head in her palm.

“Unnie…” you called out softly hesitating because she’s definitely in a bad mood and might lash out on you.

The rest of the members had burst into the room after they saw their social medias.

Of course medias like Soompi and koreaboo have made post on the web.

“Minji are you okay?” Hanni asked Minji stroking Minji’s back.

She looked up to hanni with teary eyes which made you feel sad because you’ve never seen Minji cry or this sad.

“N-no” she stuttered with a cracked voice making you more sad.

“It’s those hate comments isn’t it?” Danielle said and Minji nodded.

They all sighed as this has been going on for a while now.

Minji was the new target for haters.

“T-they w-want me to die,T-they want me to kill myself” Minji stuttered as tears rolled down her eyes making your eyes also start to tear up.

Haerin and Hyein had already begun crying while your lips were shivering and your mouth was in a form of a pout.

You wanted to stop yourself from crying but it was no use.

Heavy Tears rolled down your eyes as you cried silently.

You weren’t the type to cause chaos or noise when crying which made it a lot harder for you Unnies to know when you’re sad.

But Minji that knows you a lot and has trained with you the longest knows when you cry.

You’ll become quiet and your head will hang on low.Which is what you’re doing now.

Minji looked at you with sad eyes.

She hated seeing the Maknae in this condition,She hated when you’re sad and down.

This made her to tear up more and when the thought of you being the one that was getting hated on made her cry more.

“I feel so sad for Minji Unnie…” Haerin silently said.

“Same,She’s trying all her best and she’s the eldest” Hyein added.

“Unnie D-G-A-F” yn said out of nowhere and both Danielle and hanni slapped her arm.

“DGAF?,What does that mean?” Minji asked clueless.

“It’s the acronym for Don’t give a fuck” yn said innocently making Minji furrow her eyebrows.

“Yn who taught you that?” Minji asked shocked once she realized.

“Hanni Unnie” yn said once again innocently while Minji glared at hanni.

“That’s it hanni you’re band from teaching yn English” Minji said in a fake angry tone and hanni scoffed in a fake offended tone.

“So……Should we order food?” Yn asked putting the side of her lip slightly down.

“But didn’t we just eat 2hrs ago?” Hyein asked confused.

“But me and Minji Unnie didn’t eat and we’re hungry….Right! Minji Unnie?” You asked Minji glaring at her.

“Right! Right!” Minji said nodding rapidly.

“Yay!” You exclaimed excitedly.

Before you knew it Hanni ordered a bunch of food and set it on the dinning table.

After all of you had settled down you all started talking about the situation before moving to another topic.

Like”Can’t believe yn wrote get up and only made it 36secs” hanni exclaimed raising her eyebrows in surprise.

“Seriously fans are now demanding it’s longer” Minji said.

“What!” You dragged the what.

“I only wanted to test my writing skills in English,I didn’t know it would be that good” you responded.

“You know we can help you make it longer?” Haerin suggested.

“Not thank you,I want to write a full song by myself but if I need help I might as any of you” you stated.

“Aww that’s so cute yn wants to write a full song by herself” Hyein and Danielle exclaimed in sync.

They gasped”Jinx!” They both said at the same time.

At night Minji asked you to sleep with her so she can cuddle you and you can advise her about the hate situation.

So she learns how to handle the situation like a professional.

Even though she’s older and is meant to be giving advises she couldn’t help but ask you since you give the best advices.

One time during a fan meeting a hater yelled mean words at Minji.

Minji looked over to you with a worried expression but you gave her a thumbs up smiling mouthing “DGAF”.

Minji then remembered you advice and smiled to the haters side before acting like nothing happened.

Guess DGAF is a really good way to handle things…..

#new jeans x reader #new jeans #new jeans angst #newjeans fluff #requested #newjeans hanni #newjeans Minji #newjeans Danielle #newjeans Haerin #newjeans Hyein #Minji x reader #newjeans reader #Minji angst #minji fluff #angst #newjeans one shot

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gavisuntiedboot · 1 year

Text

Blue raspberry (Gavi x Reader)

28 day writing prompt challenge - prompts are here

Day 11: Late night McDonald's run

Warning: mentions/ alluding to eating disorders! Mentions of being scared to eat certain foods! If you're not comfortable please don't read!

"Pablo, I'm here, but they won't let me come into the parking lot because they don't recognize my car, so you're going to need to come up to."

"I'm walking up to you right now. Pull over to the side."

You moved your car from in front of the barrier to wait as close as possible on the side of the road. Despite the fact that it was 9:15pm, there were still about a dozen fans waiting to see the players emerge, hoping to get photos and autographs. You saw Gavi's hooded figure emerge, and he looked for your car. You flashed your lights to notify him where you were, but you notified the fans as well. They ran over and swarmed him, making it almost impossible to get to you. He took a few pictures and signed a few shirts before security intervened, separating him from his loyal supporters.

He got into your car and threw his backpack over his shoulder into the back seat, sighing and sinking into the seat. There was a path for you drive between the fans, and so you left Camp Nou and the flashes of iPhones behind you.

"Great. Now my Ford is going to be all over Twitter. People will want to get pictures with Gavi's chauffer. I'll never have a moment of peace."

He let out a tired laugh and pulled his hood down, finally relaxing as you hit the road.

"First of all, you already stick out for driving this obnoxiously American car in the middle of Spain. And second, why didn't you just tell security you were here to pick me up?"

"Gavi, can you imagine if security just let random girls in if they said they were there to see you? You would have been kidnapped a long time ago."

You rarely ever picked up Gavi. Your relationship was still relatively new, and he didn't want you to be hounded by the press and by people on social media making unfounded and nasty comments. Plus, he usually had a ride. He often arrived and left with Pedri, who was all too happy to have some company on his way to work in the mornings. If not Pedri, then another member of the squad (or even a member of staff) was always happy to make sure he got to and from practice safely (and didn't get snatched by a random fan).

But today, he was just in the worst mindset. It was freezing in Barcelona, and he hated to practice in the cold. As usual, he was slipping and sliding around the field, even more than usual due to the rain of the previous night. He was cold and wet, and he was being constantly critiqued by the coaching staff because he was just not in top form today. To make matters worse, he was starving. He had been following Robert's "healthy diet" advice, but sometimes he got so fixated on not eating the wrong thing that he just forgot to eat altogether. He had finished some weight training and was ready to hit the shower and go home when he got the news from Pedri.

"The Adidas reps are coming over to get me fitted for some new boots. I wont be leaving until 10:30."

Gavi almost cried at the news that he was going to be held at the Camp so late. He was exhausted. He was cold. He wanted to see his girlfriend. And so he swallowed his pride and called you, asking you to rev up the gas-guzzler and pick him up, even if it meant being photographed together.

"Mi corazón, are you okay? You're giving off more distressed vibes than usual."

"Honestly, I don't know," he replied, turning to look at you. "I've just been feeling drained and down. Everything is irritating me and I just want to sit in bed and do nothing."

A moment of silence passed. You didn't know what to say. You understood how Pablo felt: it was hard living up to so much pressure and expectations, and even if it wasn't full-blown depression, it was enough to make you worried. You didn't want these feelings to start interfering with his day-to-day, because you knew that would just make him feel worse. You weren't a therapist, but you wanted to do whatever you could to provide him with a little bit of comfort.

"... do you want to go to McDonald's?"

"What?" He said, looking over at you with his eyebrows stitched together in confusion, like you had asked the question in a different language.

"Well I mean when I've had a shit day I usually find myself in the McDonald's drive-thru. Nothing makes me feel as good as a 9-piece nugget meal and an Oreo McFlurry. But if you just want to go home I can just take you home."

"I... don't even remember the last time I went to McDonald's."

"Are you being serious?"

"Yeah. I eat a lot at the club and have my macros tracked by the nutritionists there. And then usually I'm with the boys and Eric or someone else cooks. And I don't have a car, so it prevents me from coming here for a McChicken whenever I want."

You drove for a few more minutes before turning into the drive through.

"Welcome to McDonald's what can I get for you?"

You placed your order, going a little overboard and getting everything that looked somewhat appealing. You turned to Gavi.

"What do you want?"

"All that food was for you?!"

"Quickly."

"Um... maybe I just get a small fries. I don't want to ruin all the work I've done by pigging out."

You looked at Gavi with wide eyes. It was dawning on you how much he was actually worried about his eating habits for fear of being ridiculed by the club.

"For him can I get a large McChicken meal with a blue raspberry slushie and- M&Ms or Oreo?"

"What?"

"Hurry up Pablo or we'll be here all night. M&Ms or Oreo?"

"But I- fine. Oreo."

"And an Oreo McFlurry. That's all"

You left the speaker, waiting in line to pay, and you looked over at Pablo, whos cheeks were bright red. He was looking directly in front of him, avoiding eye contact with you.

"What's wrong Pablito? You just said you liked McChickens."

"I do amor, that's not the problem." He said, looking at you. You took his hand in yours and laced your fingers together.

"It's just been a long time since I let myself eat this kind of stuff. And I mean I know that one time will be fine but I just... I don't know how to not feel guilty for having fried food for the first time in like a year."

You brought his hand up to your lips and kissed it gently, rubbing the back of it with your thumb.

"Pablo, you guys just won the Spanish Supercup less than a month ago - and you were in top form might I add. I know it's hard to let yourself have simple pleasures, but you deserve to have things that make you happy every now and then. And plus, this meal is probably better for you than two beers."

He smiled widely, leaning over to give you a gentle kiss. You reciprocated, enjoying the feeling of his soft lips against yours until the car behind you honked, causing you both to swiftly pull away.

You moved to the window, pulling out your wallet to pay.

"Corazón, you don't have to pay for the food. I can get it."

"Oh my God Pablo Gavi?"

He had forgotten to pull his hood up, and now the man at the window looked ready to faint. Pablo panicked. He did not want to be photographed in this moment.

"Why don't you get something for him to sign for you?" You asked sweetly, and Gavi squeezed your arm, greatful for your quick thinking. The employee ran off to find something for Gavi to sign.

"I think my card fell in my bag. Pablito, can you open up my McDonald's app on my phone so I can get the reward points?"

The employee returned, hands shaking as he handed you a shirt and a Sharpie for Gavi. The app lit up Gavi's face and just before he gave you the phone, his eyes got wide.

"Bebe, why do you have 7,000 McDonald's points."

".... I'm sad often. Hurry up and sign the shirt."

You got your food and drove back to Pablo's house.

"It's your obligation as a passenger to eat fries out of the bag while they are hot, and occasionally feed some to me." You said playfully. He smirked at you, grabbing some fries and taking a bite.

"Fuck."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just forgot how good fat and salt are."

At Pablo's house, he tried to set the food on the table, but you stopped him, grabbing the bag and skipping over to the couch. You set the food out on the coffee table and dimmed the lights.

"Why do the lights have to be off for us to eat?" Pablo asked, sitting on the couch and putting one arm around you, pulling you close.

"Because it's more freeing. Don't look and hyper-analyze what you're eating, Pablo. Just eat until you're full."

You unwrapped the burger and handed it to Pablo, following quickly with your own food. You put on an episode of your favorite show, and you two just sat and ate and cuddled. After 5 or 6 episodes, the food was cleared, and you and Pablo had situated yourselves on the couch. He was laying in your arms, and you alternated between eating ice cream yourself and feeding him spoonfuls.

"Bebe, I have a question?"

"Yes mi amor?"

"How did you know I was going to like blue raspberry?"

"Because you have the taste buds of a 5 year old, just like me. Why? Did you like it?"

"I loved it. I'm going to go and buy myself one every time I score a goal."

"Can I get in on this deal? I also like slushies."

"Of course mi corazón. How else am I going to get to the McDonald's? You'll be driving."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Hey y'all! Hope you enjoyed this one. Inspired by my own late night McDonald's run (which actually tragically ended w me spilling half the food on the floor). If you haven't had a blue raspberry slushie from McDonald's (and it's available where you are) go get one. I have met so many athletes who have this mentality around fast food, and so I wanted to give a little bit of a different perspective. Anyways, I've really been enjoying this prompt challenge. I hope you are too. Please leave any comments or feedback here or in my asks, and see y'all later!

#pablo gavi x reader #pablo martín páez gavira #pablo gavi imagine #pablo gavi #pablo gavi fanfiction #pablo gavi one shot #pablo gavi fluff #gavi x you #gavi x reader #gavi fluff #gavi one shot #gavi imagine #fc barca #footballer #footballer imagine #gavisuntiedboot

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shadamyheadcanons · 2 months

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Do you have any ideas for how Shadow and Amy’s relationship would change if Sonic had managed to get Shadow back on the ark in SA2? I’m working on my own little self-indulgent fic myself, but I’d be curious to hear your thoughts.

Interesting thought! See, this is a tricky one for me because they canonically act like his brush with death never happened, which is super weird.

There should have been a scene on the ARK where Amy was really upset and possibly even cried after it happened, maybe blaming herself for encouraging him.

There should have been a scene in Sonic Heroes where she latched onto him and gushed about how relieved she was to see him alive while he just stared at her like “???” because he still had amnesia.

She should have been the one to reach out and befriend him, and he should have accepted; not only does she remind him of his late best friend, but she’s seen him at his most murderous and still supported him unconditionally.

She should be even clingier with him than she is with her other friends after what happened. She should have been right with him all throughout Shadow the Hedgehog (2005), guiding him and keeping an eye on him the way one would expect given her personality.

And...maybe this is controversial, buuuuut...it’s always felt a little arbitrary to me that he wound up spending a ton of time with Rouge and Omega and basically none with Amy.

I’m not saying I have a problem with Team Dark. I adore their dynamic and I’m glad he has them, but it kind of feels like they just happened to be there. Sure, he got along with Rouge alright for much of SA2, but she seriously hurt him by spying on him--something she’s never apologized for, as far as I know--and she left him behind to help the others get to the Cannon’s Core.

And that, I think, is where the biggest difference would be.

Shadow isn’t the forgiving type. By the time he’d regained his memories in canon and remembered how she’d betrayed his trust, she’d proven in the interim that she’s ultimately a good and loyal friend. If she hadn’t had that chance, I don’t think she could’ve gotten her foot in the door so easily. And if Shadow hadn’t fallen, he wouldn’t have been picked up by Eggman, so he wouldn’t have met Omega. In fact, I’d go even further than that. Team Dark’s opening cutscene in Sonic Heroes implies that Omega’s there strictly to guard Shadow. Not only that, but I’ve always gotten the impression that that’s why Omega was created in the first place. Mephiles all but confirms this in Sonic 06 by pointing out Omega is perfectly built to defeat and capture Shadow.

“This only proves you were created to stop Shadow, the ultimate life form. Don’t tell you didn’t know.”

So Omega would probably never have been built, at least not in his current form :(

With our favorite murder robot out of the picture and Shadow not trusting Rouge, Team Dark would be kaput, and Shadow really needs someone who’ll reach out to him.

And we all know it would be Amy, right?

It’s not even conjecture. In Sonic Battle, she eagerly seeks him out, even getting irritated when Rouge keeps her away:

On top of that, Amy latches onto Shadow because he’s a hero. I’ve pointed this out before, but the second Shadow becomes the protagonist in ShTH, she’s smitten with him...

...and the same happens in IDW issue 59:

And we can’t leave out The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog:

The social media team gets it.

She’s got a subtle little crush on him already imo even with the few interactions they have. If Amy spent lots of time with Shadow, that little crush could grow to rival another crush of hers ;)

As for Shadow, if she’d reached out to him right away without the time gap from his amnesia, I think his feelings for her--romantic or otherwise--would have been fostered and allowed to grow, fueled by his gratitude. She changed his entire life and would have introduced positivity and companionship into his world. You can’t not feel strongly about someone who does that for you.

Fandom-wise, Shadamy is already extremely popular considering how little time they’ve spent together in canon. It’s the third most popular game ship on AO3, only beaten by Sonamy and Sonadow.

There are more fics for Shadamy than Knuxouge. That’s kind of ridiculous, right?! Shadow and Amy have maybe ten minutes of screentime together! I also think Shadow might have gotten along better with Sonic if he’d gone right from saving the world with him to becoming one of Amy’s favorite people, so I’m willing to bet Sonamyshad would’ve skyrocketed in popularity, too. Not my cup of tea, but I know a lot of other fans like it.

Or...more interestingly...Shadow could’ve been really pissed once he saw up close and personal just how often Sonic ran away from Amy. The Dark Era right after SA2 was when it was worst, too. I imagine Shadow would be furious if he knew the full extent of how badly his favorite hedgehog was being treated. He could have been a godsend for her. You think he’d have put up with this if he’d seen it?

(Tangentially, I think it’s weird that Knuckles was fine with this stuff. I think of him and Amy as sibling-adjacent at times, but sometimes I feel like I have to fudge some details to make it work.)

And how many times did Sonic hurt her or make her cry back in the day?

Shadow’s punched Sonic for less than that. He’s way too loyal to sit there and watch while someone hurts his sweet, kindhearted best friend.

People think of Amy as the clingiest Sonic character, but I 100% believe Shadow rivals her in that respect. I really do. He nearly destroyed the Earth for a friend he knew for less than a year. He latched onto Team Dark like a security blanket the second he was dropped on their doorstep. He would have done the same for Amy, and she really could have benefited from that loyalty. Amy lashed out in that era because of frustration and insecurity from being repeatedly snubbed by her favorite person. I honestly think someone stable and steadfast like Shadow was exactly who she needed. He really could have turned her life around and gotten her the respect she deserved, either by standing up for her or proving to her that she deserved better.

And I definitely think he could have dealt with the Black Arms’ invasion much better if he’d had Amy to help guide him through it. She’s reminded him of who he is before. The Miracle of Love ending proves without a doubt that she could do it again.

It would have been great for both of them. I’m sad Sega never let them have that.

Also, Shadow standing up for Amy and later dating her would make this weird scene from Archie #149 absolutely hilarious:

Granted, that applies to shadamy in general.

Ken Penders & Friends: “Ha, wouldn’t it be hilarious if we had Sonic make a skeevy, totally age-appropriate comment in our kids’ comic about Shadow ‘finding a girl?’”

Shadow: “I found Amy Rose”

Sega: “THAT’S NOT FUNNY”

Sonic: “Idk, I think it’s kinda funny :) ”

Penders: “I have never played a Sonic game”

#shadow the hedgehog #sonic the hedgehog #not a headcanon #ask #amy rose #onesingularchocolatechip #shadamy

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blamemma · 7 months

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30 maxiel!!!

things I wish you’d said - this literally does not fit this prompt at all really, it does if you squint really hard at the end, but anyway :)) - 2,072 words - yes we're out of the depressed daniel era, but sometimes u just need to sit down and re-visit it for a lil cry

In the end, Daniel has to take a break from everything. Racing. Social Media. Public Events. Every One. Michael. His parents. Max.

He buys a converted van, featuring a sofa that pulls out into a single bed, a tiny kitchen, and a shower he can just about squeeze into, and heads out along the coast of Australia. He turns his phone off for the most part, only using it for Maps and to message the group chat his family forced him to set up every two days, a small update and a selfie, so they know he's okay, alive.

He avoids tourist trap areas; he received enough sympathetic looks and kind words in Abu Dhabi, can't face strangers who barely know who he is or what he feels, coming up to him and passing on their condolences.

He drives and drives and drives and drives.

Open road. Sandy banks. Rock faces and dried out trees. Open barren land with a singular road cutting through it.

He avoids busy restaurants and sticks to quiet bars. Drinks too much whiskey and then passes out on his too small, cold, bed. Stops off at vineyards he's been meaning to visit for years, stock-piles bottles of wine to gift his mum and dad when he eventually arrives back home.

Max had hated the idea. Had come stumbling out of the door of Daniel's home, sleepy-eyed from jet lag, when Daniel had driven up in the van after heading out early to collect it.

He'd looked perplexed, cocked his head as Daniel had clambered out of the driver's seat.

"What is this Daniel?" Max had asked. He'd walked forward to Daniel, still in his sleep clothes, an over-sized Enchanté shirt and tight boxers, arms lifted a little higher than his waist, looking to curl into the side of Daniel's body in the early morning sun that was already blisteringly hot.

"It's my van," Daniel replied. "I'm going to go away for a bit."

Max stopped in his tracks, his hands instantly forming fists at his sides, before stretching out his fingers again.

"What?" He asked again.

"I'm gunna go away for a bit Maxy. Just me. And the Australian Road. Get my head straight."

"No," Max had responded. Daniel knew this would be Max's reaction. It's why Daniel hadn't told him beforehand, had kept the secret since Brazil, an impulse purchase after he'd crashed out in his second-to-last race. "We have just got here Daniel. You are not going to go away on your own. You can stay here or I will come with you!"

Despite Max's defiant attitude, Daniel had won. He'd left Max at his home in Perth, the first time he'd visited as Daniel's boyfriend, a promise of barbeques with family and chasing each other on dirt bikes forgotten. They'd argued, they'd cried, they'd pleaded with each other to understand, but ultimately, Daniel's mind was set.

He hasn't spoken to Max in two-and-a-half weeks now. Doesn't know what he'd say. I miss you. Your love isn't good enough to fix me. I love you. I can't stand the way you pity me.

He doesn't even know if Max is still in Perth. He wouldn't blame him if he'd gone back to Monaco.

His decision had been finalised when his Mum and Dad had arrived in Abu Dhabi. The tears prickling at the corner of his mum's eyes as she'd pulled him in sent guilt washing over him. He'd failed. They'd sacrificed everything for him to drive. And he couldn't give them the one thing they deserved. A Championship.

He'd marked Exmouth as his stopping point, where he'd turn around and head back home, but he arrives, camps under the stars for two days, rents a boat and sits for hours with a fishing rod that's never successful and still doesn't feel complete. Whole. He'd imagined, in the days between Brazil and Abu Dhabi, that this would fix him. That a solo trip would give him all the answers. Show him whether he's happy with this being the end, or driven to find a way back.

Instead, he just feels lost and alone.

He clambers back into his van, pulls out the beaten-up map that came with the vehicle and tries to pick a new place to go. No where strikes inspiration in him though. The big bold lettering of PERTH near the bottom of the map taunts him over and over again and he scrunches the map up, throwing it at the windshield.

Across from where he's parked, just across his van on a grassed area sits a family, at a picnic bench, fitted with a barbeque. Two dads sat side by side, a young son and daughter sat opposite them. Daniel can't tear his eyes away from them, as the kids sit eagerly awaiting their dinner, laughing, conversing. They're happy.

He'd promised Isaac and Isabella in Abu Dhabi that when they got back to Perth, they could come round to his house, and they'd spend hours in the pool and have a large barbeque, and end the night around the fire with smores.

Instead, he'd been too chicken to say goodbye to them.

He'd promised Max that he'd take him hiking at his favourite spot. Take him out on a date to his favourite Italian restaurant. Promised trips to the farmers market, and out for brunch, and endless beach days. Promised him a winter break of relaxation. A Christmas at Daniel's parents, one filled with sunshine and shorts and a mountain of presents.

Instead, he'd made Max fly all the way out here, and then abandoned him. The guilt hadn't left him, not since he'd pulled out of his dusted driveway and away from Max.

He props his feet upon the dash and watches the family as they move about their evening. Burgers eaten far too quickly by the children. A plea from their fathers to at least try the salad they'd purchased. A rugby ball emerging from their bag that they kick around and throw to each other. Small gentle kisses shared between partners, an arm around the waist, one thrown around the shoulder. Kids piling on top of their dads as they fall to the ground in a tackle. Laughter. So much laughter. And joy. And happiness.

Daniel calls Max.

It rings and rings and rings. Then Max's voicemail sets in. Daniel tries again. It rings and rings and rings. He puts his phone down on the seat and starts his engine. He'll follow a road somewhere.

His phone rings. A photo of Max curled up asleep in the sheets of their Monaco bedroom fills the screen.

He answers immediately, clutching the phone to his ear. It's silent on the other end of the line.

"Max?" Daniel asks gently.

"Daniel," Max repeats back to him.

"Max." Daniel says again. "I miss you, I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking, and I'm just so lonely and I hope you're okay, please tell me you're still okay. Are you still in Perth? I'm so sorry Max. I'm gunna drive home. Yeah? I'm gunna drive back okay. You'll be there right? When I get home? I'll make this up to you. Okay--I'll drive home tonight and then tomorrow we can do whatever you want. Whatever you want. " He's crying, and his words are coming out so fast, but the simple sound of Max's voice, the Dutch intonation speaking his own name, collapses him.

"Where are you?" Max asks. Daniel can hear his voice quiver on the other end of the line and a fresh wave of guilt washes over him. He should be there right now, Max shouldn't be feeling this way.

"I'm in Exmouth, it's almost at the tip of Western Australia. So it's about 13 hours to Perth but I can drive through the night Maxy, and then I'll be back home tomorrow. Yeah? Does that sound good?" Daniel selfishly, wants Max to beg him to come home, tell him how much he's missed him, and needs him. Daniel can't even tell if Max is still in Perth, too scared to outright ask.

"You should get some sleep Daniel. And then come home. You should not drive through the night you might crash. And then I will not be able to shout at you for all the horrible things you have done and I will have to attend your funeral with all these unresolved issues of course, so probably my speech would not be that good." The glimmer of teasing that comes through in Max's voice makes Daniel clutch at his chest in want.

"Yeah, okay baby, I'll see you tomorrow yeah?" Daniel asks.

"Yes Daniel. Come home. I will cook dinner for you when you get back. We can have a lovely evening."

"Sounds good. I love you." Daniel responds.

"I love you also." Max says, and Daniel has to hang up quickly before Max catches on to his desperate sobs.

---

He does what Max asks, and sleeps. Not very well, and not for very long, but the next morning, he starts the van up at 5am and drives, joins the open road and heads home. He turns the stereo up, his Max playlist on loud and proud, singing along to the lines that resonate most to him. Whenever he stops off for fuel, and snacks, he texts Max, updating him on his journey and when he'll be home. Max responds to Daniel's first message, when he'd left Max know that he was leaving Exmouth, with Drive safe ❤️, the second message with See you soon! 😁 and the third message with I hope your bum is not feeling too numb!

He pulls up onto his track road and into his driveway just after 8pm and is greeted with a house decorated and ready for Christmas. Lights strung across the porch, pretend Snowman's just beside the front door, mistletoe hanging from above the entranceway. Max had put out all his Christmas decorations from years past.

He's already crying as he fumbles to undo his seatbelt, and stumbles out the drivers door.

The tears start falling when he sees Max running out of the front door towards him, jumping over the steps of the porch and bounding towards Daniel. Max stumbles into his chest, his strong arms wrapping around Daniel and pulling him into him. Daniel collapses into him, exhaustion and want and love all seeping out of him.

"Your mum showed me where all the Christmas decorations were kept last week. I asked her if she could show me. I thought that maybe if you would come home, it would be nice for you to come home to." Max finally says, his voice shaking, speaking into Daniel's neck. "Isaac and Isabella helped. They kept on asking where you were. And I didn't have an answer for them Daniel. I had to tell them that you'd gone on a trip. And then they would ask when you were coming back and I would say I do not know. And then they would ask if we could go and join you and I said I do not think we can. You were cruel, Daniel. You were so cruel."

Daniel finally wraps his arms around Max, kisses the crown of his head and cries with him.

"I'm better now Max, I promise you, I am better." He whispers into his hair. Max's grip around his waist gets tighter, pulling him impossibly closer.

"You never said you were bad, Daniel. I could tell and I tried to help, but you would always shut me down. You never said--"

"I know baby, I know. I'm so sorry."

Max's hand comes to the back of Daniel's neck, holding him tight, his fingers moving through his hair. It's all Daniel needs, he's realised. Is Max. Is Family. Is simple moments.

They both stand there, crying, in each other's arms, birds singing above them, the last remnants of the evening sun warming their backs, until Max, pulls away, intertwining his hand into Daniel's.

"You have to come inside now and eat," Max insists, stepping forward and tugging Daniel's arm. "Your mum has been giving me food every few days and I think that Brad is going to have to work overtime."

Daniel laughs then, his first proper, from-the-gut, endearing, happy laugh, in a long time. Max watches him, the way his eyes light up and his broad smile make up his whole face.

Daniel's back.

Daniel's home.

#this is like....something.....lots of holes that should have way more details probably but yeah #western australia tourism ad inspired with a big splash of depressed mclaren daniel era sprinkled in :))#dr #mv #maxiel #my fic

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radiantrice7 · 10 months

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Goldenpunk/Chaipunk Headcanons

- Hobie cannot handle spice like at all but he is extremely against wasting food so he’ll still eat extremely spicy food if given to him even if it makes his insides melt

- Pav does not have a sweet tooth but put some jangri in front of him and he’d devour them in seconds (his mother made it for him a lot as a kid n it reminds him of her)

- Both H and P are people watchers , Hobie keeps it a bit more internal while Pav creates whole life stories for random people

- Hobie has been trying to get better at drinking less but it’s something that he turns too whenever he messes up or stresses out . He also smokes on the reg but does not do it around Pav bc the smell makes him gag

- Sometimes some of Pav’s belongings will just disappear only for him to find them in Hobie’s place

- Hobie’s a lot better at handling kids than Pav is

- Pavitr is way too nice for his own good n feels peoples emotions for them but it’s bc whenever he moved to his school on the scholarship he got extremely bullied and doesn’t want anyone to go through what he did

- Hobie keeps a picture of him and Captain Anarchy in one of his vest’s pockets

- Pav has always felt inferior to the other spider people but Hobie would be the one to really drill into his head the beauty in difference

- Hobie acedently broke one of Pav’s tea cups so the next day he came back with a whole box of tea cups (they were stolen) to apologize (this was very early on, like when they didn’t know each other that much)

- Hobie has a tea cup for himself in Pav’s house which he’s taken the liberty of painting all over it

- Both are extremely loud people vocally, but Pav’s motions are always quieter than Hobie’s

- Pavitr is very laid back comes to his studies becuase it comes very natural too him but gets mad whenever Hobie tells him to stop doing his homework

- When they get stressed out, both Pavitr and Hobie need space but Hobie will just disappear while Pav will at least let everyone who needs to know know

- Maya Auntie thinks Hobie is a bad influence but doesn’t tell Pavitr to stop hanging out with him becuase he had a hard time making friends and it warms her heart to see her nephew happy

- The last thing Pav needs is caffeine ; he’s naturally hyper yet insists he needs caffeine on the daily

- Pavitr thinks extremely loudly : he announces where he’s going even if it’s just to the bathroom/room to grab something and actively talks to himself

- Hobie isn’t that self conscious of his living situation and if very explicit with the fact that he does live in the homeless shelter but he will never actively invite people over to his dimension

- Hobie and Gayatri are absolute besties: they bonded over both being models and noticing some of the stupid shit Pav does . They have matching anklets

- Hobie makes woven bracelets out of pure boredom when he has the materials and Pav has a lot of them pinned up to the cork board in his room (he doesn’t like the feeling of the multiple bracelets on)

- Hobie does not have any social media, let alone a phone (actually, he has a flip phone but yk what i mean), so majority of the time whenever Pav talks about stuff trending he doesn’t really understand what he’s saying but casually goes with the flow

- Pavitr once crashed in Hobie’s dimension unannounced for a little bit to see what tiktok was like and got bored within minutes

- Hobie’s spider sense is much less sensitive than Pavitr’s

- Pavitr wasn’t really a music listener before he met Hobie, like sure he listened to random music casually but it wasn’t until Hobie introduced him to a couple of his favorite bands where Pavitr actually started forming a live for music, resulting in him putting up a lot of band posters in his room to show his support

- Hobie isn’t too keen on other people defending him in his own fights, but he will never tell someone to stop because he knows it comes from a good place

- Hobie tears up when he gets frustrated but never cries as much as he should

- Pavitr is very competitive, and while Hobie doesn’t reciprocate the same competitiveness, both will be at each others throat in a game of chess

- Pavitr is a little bitch sometimes and Hobie straight out calls him a bitch to his face bc it genuinely pisses him off

- Hobie was piercing Pav’s ears one night and Maya Auntie caught them in the act so they stopped so now Pavitr has just his left ear pierced

#goldenpunk #chaipunk #my politically correct headcanons #that was a joke #these were written a week ago i just remembered i had them #hobie brown #pavitr prabhakar #atsv #RAHHHHGHHGGGGG

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persephonewritessometimes · 1 year

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Moon Song / part two: and you're married

Summary: Hotch and Y/N's relationship is still complicated, and Y/N is navigating some new information. Will she tell Hotch or not?

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x (AFAB) Reader

Word Count: 4405

Warnings: ANGST, MISCARRIAGE, arguing, toxic!hotch, slightly toxic!reader, emotional reader, mention of menstrual products/gynecologist/medical appointments, infedelity, mentions of cheating/adultery, mentions of blood

This work is meant for readers aged 18 and over. You are responsible for your own media consumption.

-Two Weeks Later-

“Come on baby girl, your birthday is in a week and you’re telling me you don’t want a party?” Morgan says teasingly.

“I’m just not in the mood to party, that’s all,” I mutter. It’s early in the morning and my nausea is so strong I’m afraid if I talk too much, I’m just gonna spew my breakfast everywhere.

“Whatever you say, but you know the team is gonna want to party anyway,” Morgan says, finally retreating to his desk. I make up a flimsy excuse to go and talk to JJ, half noticing Reid watching me. I think nothing of it and shut the door behind me when I get to JJ’s office.

“Hey, you okay?” She asks, looking up from the papers she was poring over.

“Nauseous.” I spit out, sitting in a chair and sighing.

“Oh! That reminds me, I found something for you. You said the ginger candy didn’t work, so I found an alternative.” She digs around in her purse and pulls out two little gray bands with a plastic bead in each band.

“What are those?” I ask, now curious.

“They’re called Sea Bands; they help with nausea.” JJ shows me how to put them on and I pull my sleeves over them, effectively hiding them. We give it a couple of minutes, and the nausea does start to get better.

“JJ, I love you, thank you so much,” I say, giving her a small smile.

“Anytime, Y/N. Have you told him yet?” I clam up at that.

“Um…no. I wouldn’t even know the first thing to say.” I say, picking at my cuticles. “Besides, I don’t know if I want him to know just yet. It’s still pretty early.” Dr. Mitchell confirmed that I was pregnant a week ago when I had an appointment with her. When she confirmed it, I cried. I told her I was sorry, and that I didn’t know why I kept crying, and she explained that it was just my elevated hormone levels and that it was perfectly normal. Hotch has stayed over twice since I found out, and I know there’s something I’m supposed to say, but I can never get the words out. So we fuck and we fight and that’s it.

“Y/N? You still here?” JJ says gently.

“Sorry. Just thinking.” I feel a lump start to form in my throat, but I’ve cried in front of JJ enough in the last week. I don’t want to burden her with my fucked-up life right now. “Excuse me.” I get up and rush out, running to the bathroom and locking myself in a stall, finally letting myself cry. A few minutes later I hear the door open, I sniffle, trying to get my shit together when I hear,

“Y/N?”

“Reid, this is the women’s bathroom. I think even a genius would know that.” He chuckles at that.

“Yeah, I know. I’m just worried about you. You haven’t been acting like yourself lately. You look seasick every morning, you tell Derek you don’t want a birthday party even though you make every excuse to go the bar and sing karaoke, and you’re always visiting JJ.” I’m quiet. I’m not sure how I want to respond. He’s attentive that’s for sure, but I don’t know if he would understand what I’m going through. “Y/N, are you pregnant?”

I let out a surprised laugh, unlocking the bathroom stall door and opening it, looking at Spencer leaning against the sink. “I knew the genius would figure it out. Yeah, I’m pregnant. Only JJ knows, and I would really appreciate it if you would keep this a secret.”

“Of course, Y/N. Your secret is safe with me. Are you doing okay? Despite, you know.” He gestures at my abdomen.

“The nausea is the worst part. And I’m emotional.”

“Yeah, I could tell.” He says, raising his eyebrows. I smile at him.

“Thanks for coming to check on me,” I say, shifting my weight from one foot to the other. I sometimes feel like Reid is the brother I never had, and he dotes on me as my younger sister does.

“I was just getting worried.” He pauses, then says, “You know, sometimes I think of you like the sister I never had. I may not have much, but you guys are my family.” He scratches the back of his neck, and I grab his hand.

“The feeling is mutual. Now let’s get out of here before you scare the shit out of the next woman that walks in here.”

-The Day Before My Birthday-

“Okay fine,” I say, walking into the conference room, “I’m having a birthday party.” Morgan whoops, telling everyone that he knew I would come around. “Okay, enough, enough. Tomorrow, five PM, my house.”

“Will your karaoke mic be making an appearance?” Emily asks.

“It wouldn’t be a party without a little karaoke.” I shoot her a grin. “Also, no gifts, please. I don’t want anything, and I always feel awkward opening presents.”

“What’s this about presents?” Hotch says walking into the conference room.

“Our birthday girl has finally agreed to a party, but she doesn’t want any presents. Tomorrow at five, her place. Do you know how to get there?” Morgan says. Hotch glances at me, and I can see he’s holding back a laugh.

“He might need some directions. Wouldn’t want him to get lost.” I say, swallowing my grin and sitting down.

-My Birthday-

“Okay, I’ve got the pizza, the karaoke mic, plates, drinks, cups. What am I forgetting?” I mutter to myself.

“Maybe you should change out of your pajamas?” Reid asks.

“Oh my god, yes, that’s what I was forgetting! Thank you, Reid!” I shout, jogging up the stairs to pull on a pretty tank top and dark-wash jeans. I braid my hair, putting on a little bit of mascara before giving myself a once over and heading back downstairs. Reid is making sure everything is organized properly when I come back downstairs, and I let him do his thing, shaking out the nerves. I like parties to an extent but having so many people in my home stresses me out.

“You, okay?” Reid says, looking at me over his glasses.

“Yeah, just nervous.”

“Is it because of-," He's cut off my Morgan shouting,

“The life of the party is here!” I shoot Reid a confused look, but he doesn’t finish his question. I go to greet the others who have shown up.

“You find your way, okay?” I ask, telling people where to put their coats.

“Easy enough. It was like I’d been here before or something.” Hotch says, grabbing my hand and squeezing it. He’s not smiling, but I can see a smile in his eyes. I blush, looking down. He had been nice lately, we still fought, but we’d talk about it afterward, rather than him just shutting down and storming out.

“JJ!” I exclaim as she walks through the door. “Thank god, there are way too many men here.”

“Hey!” Morgan and Rossi exclaim at the same time.

“Take the testosterone to the kitchen please!” I shout. They all grumble but do it anyway, and I pull JJ aside.

“Reid knows. I forgot to tell you, but he knows. Found me in the bathroom sobbing my eyes out.” Her hand covers mine.

“I’m glad someone else knows.” She pauses, getting ready to ask a question. I already know what she’s going to ask.

“Don’t. Not today, please. I’ll tell him when I’m ready.” The lump in my throat is back and I blink hard a few times, begging the tears to not come. At that moment, the door bangs open again, and this time it’s Penelope and Emily. The lump disappears and Penelope grabs me in the warmest hug I’ve had in a long time.

I must be dreaming because Hotch is definitely not singing karaoke right now. Of all the songs, he picked ‘Hey There Delilah’, but he keeps trying to substitute my name for ‘Delilah’ and somehow manages to butcher it every time. He’s singing at my birthday. I’ve never seen him smiling so big. The rest of the team is egging him on, cheering and chanting, and I’m caught up in the revelry. We already ate and did cake, and I’m content on the couch, stomach, and heart full.

Hotch finishes his song and gives me a dramatic bow, Derek and Penelope now fighting over who’s singing next. Something twists low in my gut and I suck in a breath. I shift on the couch, trying to find relief. My period must be starting soon. I think to myself, then pause in panic. No, no, no. Please no. Another lash of pain. Tears prick at the corner of my eyes. I get up and head to the bathroom.

I pull down my pants and underwear and there’s bright red blood on my underwear.

“Please, god no, please, I’m begging you,” I whisper. I grip the sides of the sink, staring myself down in the mirror. I pull my pants back up and open the door. I see JJ in the kitchen and quickly walk over to her, placing my hand on her arm.

“Y/N?” She asks.

“JJ, help, something’s wrong, I don’t-the baby,” I say clutching at my abdomen as JJ realizes what I’ve said.

“Okay, stay right here I’m getting Emily and Penelope.” “No, just want you.” I gasp out. “Fuck, my back hurts. JJ, I feel like I’m dying.”

“Come on, we’re going to your bedroom.” She’s typing something on her phone as we make our way up the stairs. I have to stop every few steps to take a few shaky deep breaths.

“Y/N? Are you okay?” I can hear Hotch’s voice call up the stairs.

“Food poisoning.” I choke out.

“Party’s over,” JJ says firmly, “Everyone go home. I’ll stay with Y/N.” Hotch starts to protest but JJ cuts him off with a glare. “You’ve done enough. Go home.” He looks confused but retreats.

When we get to my bedroom I rush to the bathroom, ripping off my clothes feeling like I can’t breathe. This can’t be happening. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I sit on the toilet, feeling the life of my baby, and my sanity slipping out of my body.

JJ sits across from me, my nakedness not seeming to bother her. I grimace as another cramp wraps around my lower back and belly and squeezes with no remorse.

A few minutes pass. Or it could be an hour.

“I had a miscarriage once. I was in college, dating a scum bag boyfriend. But I wanted that baby so bad.” JJ looks at me, “I’m really sorry, Y/N.”

“Yeah, me too. My mom always says we hate tears in heaven,” I pause, and the next sentence is so quiet I’m not even sure I say it out loud, “But it’s sad his baby died.”

At this, JJ grabs my hand, squeezing tightly. “I won’t let you go through this alone. I’m going to be here the whole time.”

After a while, the cramps get better, but I’m still bleeding. I fish out an overnight pad from under the sink and tell JJ which drawer holds my underwear, and where she can find a pair of pajamas. She steps out of the bathroom. She comes back and gives me privacy to get dressed.

Through the door, she says, “You don’t have to look if you don’t want to.” I don’t respond.

I gingerly stand up after wiping, quietly shutting the toilet lid without looking inside. I get dressed, flush the toilet, and wash my hands. I stare at myself in the mirror. I look the same, but something very deep inside of me has fractured, like a bone when too much pressure is applied. I open the door, and JJ has prepared my bed, and I see a bottle sitting on the bedside table. She follows my gaze,

“Extra strength Tylenol. I asked Emily to pick it up. I didn’t tell her why.”

“Thank you.” I take two of the pills, swallowing them dry. “I’ll be okay, you can go home now if you’d like.”

JJ gives me a look that resembles one she gives Henry when he’s in trouble. “I’m not going anywhere. Will can watch Henry tonight.”

“Well, at least let me get you a pair of pajamas,” I say, walking over to my drawer, and pulling out a pair. “It’s the least I can do.” She gives me a sad smile, taking the pajamas from my hands and walking into the bathroom.

As she puts them on, I get in bed and find that she found my heating pad and plugged it in. I press it into my abdomen, forcing the tears in my eyes to stay where they are. If I start crying, I won’t stop.

JJ comes out, tells me that she’s going to lock up the house, and sets off down the stairs. She comes back a few moments later, and gets in bed with me, leaving the bedside light on. I’m quiet for a few moments before asking,

“Do you think this is punishment?”

“For what?”

“Sleeping with a married man.” I look at her with wide eyes, trying to convey that I’m not joking. This feels like some sort of cosmic joke, losing his baby when he’s married to someone else.

“Y/N, no. Sometimes there’s something wrong with the pregnancy, your body is just trying to protect you.” She pauses. “You’re a good person. Don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.”

“But-“ I start.

“No buts. Doesn’t matter what you’ve done, or whom you love, I know that you’re a good person. You are kind, and full of life, you’re great at your job, and you make everyone else around you shine a little brighter. We can’t help who we love.” She looks sad as she says it, grabbing my hand and squeezing again. I fall asleep with her holding my hand and wake up in the wee hours of the morning, the air still, fog heavy on the ground. I use the bathroom and change my pad. I leave JJ asleep and go downstairs to leave a message for my gynecologist. I put on a pot of coffee, make a slice of toast, and eat it in silence. An hour passes, and I open a book. Close it. Open it again. Close it again. Frustrated, I rub my eyes.

How am I supposed to move on from this?

I lay down on the couch, but sleep doesn’t come. Another hour passes, and my phone rings.

“Hello, this is Y/N.”

“Y/N, this is Doctor Mitchell, how are you?” That question breaks my façade. I start sobbing on the phone, Doctor Mitchell trying to soothe me. After a few minutes, I force myself to pull my shit together, wiping my snotty nose on the hem of my shirt.

“I’m so sorry. I don’t know why that happened.”

“Y/N, that’s very normal. You’ve just gone through something traumatic, it’s okay to be emotional about it. Now, can you come into the office today? Just so I can check you out and prescribe anything if it’s necessary.”

“Yeah, of course. I’ll take a sick day at work. What times do you have available?”

“Does 9:30 AM work for you?” I tell her it does, and she says that she’s here for me, and then we hang up on each other. I text Rossi, telling him I’m taking a sick day due to the “food poisoning”. He tells me to feel better soon.

“Hey,” I hear to my left. I turn and see JJ leaning against the doorway, arms crossed, concern etched on her face. She looks silly in my cartoon print pajamas.

“Hey to you too,” I say, trying to make a joke but my smile slides off my face as quickly as it was put there. I hold up my phone, “My doctor. I have an appointment today.”

“Do you want someone to go with you?”

“No.” I think about it. “I think this is something I have to do alone.” She nods.

I always liked Dr. Mitchell’s office. It’s painted in soft pastel yellow, the warm glow making me feel at home. I’m shaking as she comes out to get me. The exam is quick, and she confirms that I did have a miscarriage. Before I go, she hands me some pamphlets on therapy resources in the area. I take them and thank her, leaving the office and stopping for a few minutes outside so my eyes can adjust to the sunlight. I leaf through the pamphlets before carefully putting them in my purse. That can be dealt with at a later time.

I have no idea what to do with the rest of my day, and it hits me that I don’t have any semblance of a life outside of work. I sigh, and my phone vibrates. It’s my sister, asking me how work is going. A lump forms in my throat, and I quickly shoot back a text asking if she can talk on the phone right now. She calls me instantly, frantically asking me if I’m okay. I don’t cry this time, but I tell her everything. Hotch. The affair. The baby. Losing the baby. He doesn’t know. She’s very quiet, letting me word vomit until I have nothing else to say.

“Y/N. I’m sorry. You don’t deserve to go through something like this.” She finally says. We talk about what’s next, she asks me to take some time off and come stay with her for a week or so. I tell her I don’t want to intrude, and she counters with the fact that she’s worried about me. I know she just wants to keep an eye on me, but the thought of going to my hometown right now makes me sick to my stomach. I tell her I’ll think about it, she lets it slide. We talk a few minutes more, and I tell her I have to go. I hang up the phone, staring blankly at my steering wheel.

I end up taking the next two days off of work, blaming it on the food poisoning. Hotch texts me a couple of times, checking up on me, asking if I’m okay. I give short, noncommittal answers. JJ comes by every night with a hot meal and her company.

It’s lunchtime on my last day off and I’m picking at the ham sandwich I made when there’s a knock at my door. I look through the peephole and am relieved to see Reid. I open the door and he pulls out a bouquet from behind his back.

“Um, JJ told me. I thought you might want something nice to look at.” I wordlessly take the flowers from him looking them over. It’s a beautiful arrangement, with soft pink, and yellow flowers. They smell heavenly. I give him a small smile.

“They’re beautiful. Would you like to come in?” He nods, and follows me inside, shutting the door behind us. I quickly clean up my lunch and get a vase down for the flowers, methodically cutting the stems and putting the plant food powder in the little vase. Reid just watches, letting me do what I’m doing. I put the flowers in the vase, adjusting them ever so slightly before putting the vase on my dining table.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Reid asks.

“I-“ I pause. Do I want to talk about it? I should talk about it. Reid seems like a safe bet. “Kind of. It’s – it’s hard to talk about.” I swallow thickly.

“I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now. I’m sorry about what happened.”

“Yeah, me too,” I say quietly. “My sister wants me to come home and spend some time with her.”

“Do you want to do that?”

“I don’t know. I’m not sure what I want anymore.”

“Hey, that’s okay. You don’t have to have it all figured out, Y/N. You’re young, you’ve got your whole life ahead of you. It’s okay if you don’t know your next step right now.” I just look at him, wanting desperately to believe what he was saying. I walk over to him, and he opens up his arms, knowing what I want. I wrap my arms tightly around him, just needing to be held. Not by Hotch, but by a friend. I don’t know how long we stand there, but I finally loosen my grip. “I do think you should take some time off. Maybe not go back to your hometown, but just spend some time with yourself.” I nod.

“I’ll think about it.” With that, he changes the subject, something about a book on quantum physics, and I let him ramble on, asking clarifying questions now and then which he happily answers. We talk for an hour or so, before he states that he has to get back to the office. “Spence,” I say as he’s walking out the door. “Thank you for today. I really needed it.”

“Of course, Y/N. Anything for my little sister.” He adds, winking at me, and I laugh.

I lay down for a nap after he leaves and wake up to my phone going off.

JJ: Emily and Penelope are worried about you. Can they come with me? You don’t have to tell them anything you don’t want to.

Y/N: That’s fine, it would be nice to have some girl time.

I tidy the house up a little bit, make it look like I haven’t been sleeping on the couch where the TV can drown out the thoughts that scream at me. That my current diet has been pringles and chocolate, and the meals JJ has been bringing me every night. The doorbell rings fifteen minutes later, and I open the door, cursing the fact that I forgot to change out of my pajamas. I give them a small smile as they come inside.

JJ had brought a giant pizza from a local spot with her, and my stomach growled when I saw it. We all laughed at that. We settled down on the couch, and Emily asks,

“What do you think gave you food poisoning?” JJ and I lock eyes for a split second and then I say,

“Um, actually, I had a miscarriage.” It gets silent for a split second before Emily and Penelope are telling me how sorry they are. I don’t miss the exchange between them though and I add, “You can ask who it was, but I think you already know.” I pick at my cuticles, waiting for them to say something.

“We know. And it’s okay.” Penelope says, smiling at me. “You don’t have to explain anything to us.” I smile at her, the weight lifting off of my heart a little as a tear slides down my left cheek.

“Does everyone else know?” I ask.

“Well, Reid was the first to notice. He kept going on and on about you and Hotch’s body language. One thing led to another, and…” Emily trails off.

“And I’m your favorite subject to study, got it,” I say with a half-smile. I knew Reid knew. That must have been what he was going to ask me on my birthday. I’m glad he let it be, probably knowing that I was hurting more than I needed to know that he knew. I change the subject, and our conversation wanders its way through many topics before I know it I’m yawning, and JJ is ushering Em and Penelope out the door before coming back to big good night to me.

“Anything else I can get you before I head out?”

“No, I’m okay. Thank you for everything, I appreciate it.” I settle down on the couch, pulling my blanket off the back of it and situating it around myself. After a few seconds, I notice JJ watching me smiling. “What? What is it?”

“Sometimes I just forget how young you are.”

“I’m not that much younger than you!” She chuckles and I want to ask her what she means, but she bids me good night and leaves out the garage, so I don’t have to get up and lock the door behind her.

Work resumes like usual when I come back. A couple of people joke about the “food poisoning” and I laugh it off. I can feel Hotch watching me closely a lot though. I didn’t let him come over when I was miscarrying, afraid that I’d look in his face and the words would spill over until I couldn’t hold them back anymore. He calls me into his office at the end of the day.

“Y/N, are you okay?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” I say, on the defensive. I know that no one would have told him behind my back, if they did they’d have to answer to my wrath. He looks me over.

“If something happened, you know you can tell me, right?”

I stare him down, battling with the part of me that wants to tell him everything, and the other part that’s afraid he’ll use it against me later down the line. “I’m fine. Can I go now?”

“Y/N, come on. You didn’t even let me visit you when you were sick.”

“JJ kept me company. I was fine.”

“I’m just hurt that you didn’t want my company.” I blink in surprise. He’s being vulnerable.

“I’m just dealing with some stuff right now, okay? You…you just make things complicated.”

“I’m here for you always.”

“And you’re married,” I say plainly. “You have been from the start. I just need a break …from whatever this is. You’re married and I’m – I’m just me.” My voice cracks on the last word.

“I -,” he sighs, rubbing his eyes. “Yeah, that’s fair. We’ll take a break for a little bit.” I excuse myself, heading back to my desk to grab my things. For some reason, I feel worse now taking a break than I did with him. Before I leave, I glance over my shoulder towards his office, and he’s watching me. I freeze for a split second, locked in an intense gaze before he breaks it, looking back down to his paperwork. I sigh and leave, my house feeling empty with his presence.

part three: and you might be dying

#aaron hotchner #criminal minds #hotch #hotch x y/n #hotch x reader #hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #criminal minds fanfiction #moon song hotch

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