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lure-of-writing · 7 months

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Never been good enough

Authors note: I haven't written in forever so please forgive me if this isn't the best but I would love to hear what you think!

Summary: You would never be good enough for Ariel

Word Count: 2.3k Warnings: Arguing, curse words, mentions of death, Elain slander, Tamlin makes an appearance

Part two: Left in regret

Part three: Why can't We?

There was always something so enticing about Azriel that you could never put your finger on. To simply put it he was fascinating. Being a part of the inner circle for as long as you have meant that you put your feelings for him aside, did what you thought was best for the group. Not only that but Azriel never gave you any signs that he was interested in you and there was no way you would let him know about your feelings. What if you guys dated and it didn't work out? Or worse, what if you told him and he didn’t feel the same way? These types of thoughts made a home in your head and they made it a point to consistently remind you that Azriel would only ever be a friend. But hey, better a friend then nothing at all, Right?

That was until Rhysand met Feyre and in turn met Nesta and Elain. This is where your downfall began. You were truly happy for your high lord and new high lady but could have done without her sisters. Nesta was always ready to pick a fight and tear you down with her words as if she were some wild animal backed into a corner that would bite if you tried to pet it. The comparison wasn’t far off, she basically was a wild animal. Elain on the other hand was, well, contemptible at best. From what you knew Elain was basically loved by all in the inner circle but you. There was just something about her that irked you to your core. In a world that praised the strong and belittled the weak, her innocence bothered you. Why did Feyre have to do everything for her sisters, especially the middle one? As an older sister yourself you would have made any sacrifice necessary to protect your little sister. In fact you did. Maybe that's why you resented the middle sister.

Before the new additions were made to your family life was perfect, before under the mountain of course, the group was a perfectly balanced number and each person had their person. Rys with Armen, Mor and Cassian, you and Azriel. The group would spend long days giving each other a run for their money with stupid bets and at night you would have an even longer night getting drunk at ritas, but ever since Ryhsand met Feyre things changed almost instantly. It was like the people you once knew completely changed over night. You still knew who they were to their core but you didn’t recognize who they had become.

Cassian bowed to an unwavering, impolite, ungrateful human turned fae also known as Nesta, he was willing to die for someone who would never give the time of day to even acknowledge that he existed. Amren found company in her ruthlessness, found friendship and understanding in her unbothered face.

Mor found sisterhood among the complexities of healing with Feyre, through the grief and joy and thousands of other emotions one feels when finding themselves after trauma.

Ryhsand found his mate, the one he never thought he would meet. The one he was willing to die for as long as that meant she was safe.

Azriel saw the need to protect someone as delicate as Elain. So he did.

And you, you found a changed group of people before your very own eyes.

“Azriel can I please hold the fancy special dagger?” the Shadowsinger simply stares at you from the other side of the ring. Today had been training day for everyone excluding Amren, if you asked her she would say it didn’t pertain to her, and while the boys took turns sparring you were teaching Mor a new fighting technique you learned recently. “No” the short answer was no surprise to you at all. “Why not? I even said please and I never say please” the inner circle could not wait to witness this scene unfold for this wasn’t an uncommon occurrence but considering that you were Azriels favorite amongst the group even if he refused to say it, they thought that maybe one day you would wear him down enough to the point where he lets you hold the truth teller. “y/n I have never let anyone hold that dagger and you will not be the first. You are more than capable of handling yourself without my blade.” “Exactly I am more than capable of handling a dagger Azriel. One day I will get the truth teller in my hands just you wait.” he simply raised his shoulders in a shrugging manner as if to say “yeah I’m not concerned”

To say you were surprised that Azriel gave Elain the truth teller would be an understatement but honestly you should of seen it coming. Not even a few days before he was rushing into the hybern camp to save Elain without any second thought. There was never a time in the five hundred years where Azriel threw himself into a situation like that where he didn’t at least take some time to plan everything out. As a spy yourself you knew that at least having a fraction of a plan could save your life but it appeared Arizel was willing to die to save her. Feyre's sister be damned. So to watch from afar as he handed over his dagger to inexperienced hands was truly a gut wrenching experience. How could your closest friend of literally hundreds of years spend his potentially last moments with someone who was basically a stranger instead of a true friend? It was a revealing moment, it either showed how kind he was to try and help a defenseless person have a means to defend themselves if the time came where it was needed or he truly had changed and no longer cared for you. You would have your answer sooner than you had hoped.

For as long as you have existed you were trained as a spy for the cover up of an assassin. It made you as deadly as anyone else in the inner circle, maybe even deadlier since no one ever saw their death by your hands coming. So when the time came to go to war you were ready. The Battle was bloody and ugly and cruel. It was long and it felt never ending for every body you cut down it seemed there was ten more to replace it. When you watched as Cassin dove from the sky just as the cauldron unleashed its power amongst the world, the fight seemed hopeless. How were you supposed to win when hybern had that kind of power to be used whenever the king wished? But as a warrior in your own right you just wished that when you died upon this battle field that it wasn’t for nothing. That everyone in your family made it home by the end of this war, you may not recognize your family anymore but they meant the world to you and you just wanted them to be safe no matter the cost.

Seeing help arrive re-established your hope that Hybern wouldn’t win and it pushed you to fight that much harder but the renewed sense of vigor made you lose focus and that was your downfall. A hybern soldier came charging at you with the anger of a thousand suns and sliced your stomach in one quick motion and before you knew it you were one the ground bleeding out.

The inner circle was checking on Cassian when an unexpected figure came walking in with your limp body in their arms. “Oh gods, y/n!’’ Mor was the first to stand up and gawk at you in Tamlins arms before the healers directed him to a place where they could properly work on you. Nothing was said as the healers started working, as the inner circles' minds were racing and as Tamlin was leaving. “Thank you” Tamlin didn’t even stop to acknowledge Rhysands form of gratitude. Azriel was the first to speak “How did we forget about her?” no one had an answer.

Once back in Velaris with your healing underway you could tell that something was off within the group besides the obvious effects of a battle like that and a gut feeling told what it was. You could feel this sense of guilt every time you stepped foot into a room and you knew it was that they forgot about you, they never said that they did but while you were unconscious you could hear everything, and what you heard broke your heart. You were becoming an outsider in your own family.

You watched day by day as Amren bickered with Nesta, Ryhsand flirt with Feyre and cassian with Nesta, watched as Elain and Azriel danced the line of lovers and watched as you were slowly distanced from the group but it all came to a head after a heated argument with Elain. You were sick and tired of her acting like she was helpless when she wasn’t. She was cauldron made and she needed to start acting like it or else it would get someone killed or even herself. It happened on a training day.

The sun was beating down on your tired body and the whisper of a breeze was doing little to help and listening to Elain ask Azriel for help was driving you up a wall. “Azriel can you help me? I don’t think I'm doing this right?” all she was doing was stretching and she needed help with it? “For fucks sake Elain do you want him to spoon feed you and wipe your ass for you while hes at it?” Everyone stopped at your outburst and stared at you. Nesta looked like she was ready to rip off your face but Azriel beat her to it “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” you watched as she shifted her body to be behind his as if she knew he would fight her battles for her. “What it means Azriel” you stalked into his space until you were face to face and watched over his shoulder and Elain moved to seek comfort between her sister and the high lord and you couldn’t help but scoff at her theatrics

“Is that all this group ever seems to do is baby her! She is not a child, she can handle herself. She doesn’t need you to teach her how to touch her toes Azriel but heaven forbid poor sweet Elain has to do something on her own for once. I mean my gods what aren’t you willing to do for her Azriel? Correct me if I’m wrong but didn’t you give her the truth teller?” Azriel was quick to interrupt “Is that what this is seriously about?” if looks could kill he would be dead because your glare is cutting him up into pieces “I wasn’t done. You gave her your dagger, you went into a hybern camp to save her, you answer her every single beck and call as if she's not fully capable of doing things for herself. You all enable this, every single one of you!” you point to every member of the inner circle “ And I have had enough of this bullshit! Its ridiculous! Elain loves to play sweet and innocent but really she just loves having people dote on her and not having to do anything herself.” Everyone knew you were seething for they could see the redness creeping up your neck and into your face. And apparently you pissed off Elain

“So what if Azriel did those things for me it has nothing to do with you so mind your own business.” you knew she wasn’t as nice as she seemed. “This has everything to do with me! I used to be his best friend, me! Not you! I watched everyone change when your family came along and it ruined mine! I have been in love with Azriel since the day I met him and yet I’ve had to watch him fall for you, who he hasn’t even known for two seconds! I heard him say that they forgot about me on the battlefield after hybern! So yes this is about me, I am an outsider in my own family!” The silence was deafening after watching you fight to speak through your tears and cracking voice. No one dared to move for fear of upsetting you even more or maybe it was the weight of your words keeping them in place. Azriel went to place a hand on top of your shoulder but you were quick to step out of his reach. “Y/n I had no idea you felt that way” again you couldn’t help but scoff “Of course not because you were too busy with sweet Elain to notice anything else.” he shook his head as if in a silent no “I am so sorry that we forgot about you there is no excuse it should of never happened. I-we never knew you felt this way, felt like you were being pushed away. But y/n why didn’t you ever tell me that you had feelings for me?” something broke in Azriels heart watching you cry, watched as your face scrunched in pain while you fought back sobs from taking over your body. Something pulled him to comfort you but he knew better than that. He couldn’t, not with Elain here.

“I have been telling you for five hundred years Azriel how much more do you want me to do? I may have never flat out said it but why do you think I stayed up waiting for you to come home after missions, or why I defended you against the teasing, or why I showed you my love in a thousand different ways but you never noticed even though you are the head spy master of the night court.” a sob racked your body forcing you to stop and Azriel wanted nothing more than to hold you until the tears stopped flowing and you felt whole again something in his soul was pulling him towards you but your next words stopped him in his tracks. “I never told you because to you it seems that I have never just been good enough. I have never been enough for you.”

#acotar x reader #azriel x reader #azriel x you #azriel one shot #azriel fanfic #acotar imagine #acotar x you #azriel imagine #azriel angst #azriel acotar #azriel shadowsinger

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writingoddess1125 · 8 months

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I am your Biggest Fan~ Pt. 2

WARNINGS: NON-Con, $mut, Face-Fuck, Spit as Lube, Hair Pulling, Dom!Buggy, Unprotected sex, DEAD-DOVE, Tsundare Buggy

Dirty Nasty $mut is below. Be warned ⚠️

I may have went overboard with the length- Also my first time writing $mut! Please tell me how I did and what you'd like to see next!

Buggy the Clown x GN Reader

Part 1: Biggest Fan Pt. 1

Buggy grinned as he stared down at (Y/N) keeping barely any space between the two of them as he bit up and down their neck. Listening to the mild hisses in pain and whimpers of fear- It was too sexy for him and made him want more.

"Captian!" A loud voice sounded making he growl and turn to see Cabaji. Holding his blades with some blood smeared on his face and costume.

"What do you want!?" Buggy Hissed in irritation.

"Sir, We have almost finished with the village. The Marines are sure to be informed" Ah right- this was a small village it wouldn't haven't taken long to pillage the place.

Buggy opened his mouth to speak but ended up getting a hard hit to his mouth as (Y/N) Slipped under his arms and tried to run. Buggy grabbing them by their hair with lightning fast reflexes yanking them back towards him- ignoring their cry for pain. Buggy growled at this as he glared down at (Y/N) before sighing-

"We set sail then, Get a move on!

He yelled at his first mate who nodded and dashed away to echo orders. Buggy gave a low chuckle at the performer, gripping their hair harder.

"Ill let you get that one for free since youre so damn cute Doll~ But looks like we are gonna have to rush our little act back to the Red Top~!"

He said cheerfully, her personality like a rubber ball constantly changing as he harshly flung them to the floor. Watching them trying to scramble for a quick second before he placed his boot on their back to pin them before looking around to for something to restrain them with. His eyes landing on the satin ribbons from the show. Snatching them quickly.

"Oh don't you love the irony~"

He grinned as he overpowered them with ease and tied the satin ribbons tightly around their hands and ankles.

"Let me go! YOU CANT DONT THIS YOU DIRTY PIR- MMHPH!"

They squealed as he shoved one of their lace fabrics into their mouth. Smirking at the sight and fluffing himself as a job well done. Quickly at the sound of the fire he grabbed the performer and tossed them over his shoulder, making sure to give their exposed ass a nice hard smack. Which earned him a angry squeal, before he took off.

Running out of the blood soaked bar and to the streets- It looked like what sidewalks in hell must. Blood, broken glass, fire and bodies- bodies of those who wouldn't be able to handle the long road of the show biz or audience left like animals on the street. (Y/N) screams muffled through the lace gag as they witnessed the carnage. Buggy laughing maniacally as he ran through those streets, sliding in the blood comically like this was another one of his performances. Seeing his crew rip the jewelry from the necks of people before either killing them or tightening harsh shackles to them.

Buggy skipped down the street till he reached his ship, Watching the new group of audience members being herded in like cattle to their final resting spots their seats. (Y/N) at this point sobbing as they were hauled away from the horror down to the Captian's room and tossed roughly on the large bed.

"Whoo! Just what I needed to get my Mojo back in seemed- Really got a full house this time!~"

He laughed, Taking off his hat and kicking his bloody boots off. Looking to (Y/N) and their pathetic form on his bed, shaking and with tears running down their cheeks

"Awww~ Baby No, No crying. I wanted to run that mascara a different way... tsk.. So messy"

The Captian grumbled, Grabbing his own little makeup bag and a hanky. He smiled down at them as he crawled towards them on the bed, Sitting before them making sure they were pinned with his legs as he chuckled at the sight of them under him. 'So cute'

He hummed as he wiped their tears away before opening the makeup bag.

"Now if you keep crying, I'm gonna have to keep doing your makeup all over again! And that's really gonna piss me off- So lets stop thay crying~"

Buggy said the last part darkly, (Y/N) staring up at Jim with pure terror as he smirked at the sight but nodded shakily. Sniffling through the lace gag as they tried to stop the tears from flowing.

"Good~ Very good sweetheart"

Carefully he reapplied the mascara and touched up the eyeshadow with what he owned which wasn't much. He pulled the lace gag from their lips and held their cheeks tightly with one hand and a firm grip

"Now stay still for this~"

He hummed, pulling out his favorite red and painted their lips perfectly. A wide grin playing as he saw his finished work, Placing another love bite to his newest toys neck but this time sinking deeper then before making (Y/N) cry out in pain as he broke skin. Pulling back to lick the blood from his teeth as he saw the mark.

"P-Please let me go- I don-"

He grabbed their face again (Y/N) flinching from his touch as he reached forward to fix their hair so they looked perfect.

"I-I don't want this- Please let me go- I'm begging"

Buggy almost rolled his eyes- if it wasn't for how adorable they were he would have slit their throat for how pathetic they sounded.

"Listen, Just so we are clear~ I am letting you live as MY plaything it's either this or I slit your throat and throw you overboard and I reeaalllyyy like you so I'd rather not waste such a pretty face"

He said with a smirk, watching the gears in the performers face as they realized the situation they were in. Giggling at the sight of realizing they didn't really have a choice, which was perfect. Reaching down to pull at the ankle restraints, tossing one peice of the satin ribbons to the side. However keeping the wrist one.

"Now nod if you understand-"

(Y/N) left their stomach sink- This was it... they either be this manic clowns play toy or end up like the poor villagers- in those shackles or worse.. They nodded shakily, Trying to hold back the want of breaking into sobs. Buggy clapped his hand happily and smiled brightly, those watercolor eyes swimming with pure joy at them understanding and in his mind agreeing- He kisses their cheek at this like a mock lovers and ran his hands down their form with a excited glee.

"You're perfect, I knew you were from the moment I laid eyes on you- So pretty and talented. And best of all you haven't even stared at my nose! I hate it when people do that, yet you never did... My name is Buggy.. Captian Buggy. I wanna hear you say it-"

He said happily, locking eyes with them again with his twisted smile. A unnatural yet beautiful smile on his lips as he stared at them.

"B-Buggy.. Captian Buggy"

They whispered back which earned another kiss to the cheek. His eyes racking their form as they sat there, one pasty on their chest, the remains of their costume with the added satin ribbons. He couldn't help but get aroused by their appearance again, chuckling darkly as he stared at them. Without saying a word he grabbed them roughly by the shoulders and pulled them off the bed, Setting them on their knees as he sat infront of.

(Y/N) Looked up at him with wide eyes, noticing the large tenting in his pants as he sat infront of her. It didn't take a genius to figure out what he wanted.. Buggy chuckled as he admired (Y/N) for a moment longer before undoing his pants- Cackling as his as his cock sprung out of his pants like a spring.

"Pop Goes the Weasal~!"

Buggy cock like the rest of him was large and unruly, the head a deep pink with a base of deep blue curls. (Y/N) looked up at Buggy again, seeing him smirking at their expression of seeing this part of him.

"Don't be shy now~"

(Y/N) nodded softly, giving a small tug on the restraints for a second of hope however there was no give so that was that- Leaning forward they parted their lips and took Buggy fully into their mouth.

Their nose brushing against the unkempt blue curls as they carefully ran their tongue over the organ. Buggy grumbling out gentle moans as he stared down at them, his pupils blown up with desire as he watched them. Laying kitten licks down his cock and coming back up to gently suck on the tip of his cock, While it felt delightful Buggy was greedy and of course- Wanted more~

Grabbing their hair harshly and smiling as he slammed them down fully on his dick, feeling them squeak and gag in shock. Setting his own pace as he roughly forced their head to bob at unnatural speeds, Moaning out roughly as he did so. His hips starting to thrust into (Y/N) mouth, enjoying the sound of the mild gagging and noises escaping (Y/N).

He looked down and saw with joy the beautiful mess he had created- (Y/N) face was red with tears, messy mascara running down their cheeks and their hair a tangled mess in his gloved hands- But it was their mouth. Oh those dirty lips wrapped around his cock staining it red with lipstick that damn near made his cum right then and there.

Yanking them off his dick he watched them struggle to catch their breath, a delicate mix of his precum laying on their tongue and mix. While (Y/N) looked up at him with those watery eyes that made him burn. In his eyes they looked like a masterpiece.

"Fuck~ I don't think I can last long with you looking like that~ Guess we gotta rush the performance Baby!~"

He cackled as he quickly pulled them up to their feet by their hair smiling at the sob that broke through them. Quickly he pushed bent them over the mattress, Smirking as he made sure to tighten the satin wrist restraints and smiled.

(Y/N) panted hard, they felt their face pressed into the plush bedding of the mattress and their eyes widened as the peices started to fall into place. Glancing back as they saw Buggy undoing his shirt fully and Tossing it to the side, As well as taking off the bandana that held his hair up. Letting it fall lose down his back with a relaxed sigh before meeting the gaze of (Y/N) again with a crooked smile.

Like the survival instincts kicked back in they scrambled against the bed trying to squirm away and kicked their legs wildly. Buggy cackled and presses his lower half against their ass essentially pinning them- Using his legs to trap their own against the wooden bed frame.

"N-NO! Wait-t!"

They sobbed out but Buggy was quick in grabbing their hair again and yanking their head back.

"Now Now Now let's not make a fuss!~ I do think we've already crossed the line of no return"

He said with a laugh, using his free hand to grab their ass and pulled to give himself a nice view an access. Forgetting he hadn't removed the thong from them yet- however no matter!~ he used his thumb to move the fabric aside and grinned, 'So smart!' Ignoring the squirming from the performer begging and trying to escape he spit at the open hole before him with a grin before positioning himself.

"Good enough~"

Purring as he started to inch his way in. (Y/N) choked back a cry as they left him inch his way in, He was too large- Unfairly so! It felt like they were being split in half. That toe curling pain that borders on pleasure shot through their body as air seemed to evade their lungs.

"That's it... Fuck"

Buggy growled out from above them, Grunting as he slammed the last of himself into them having grown inpatient to wait anymore. His hands left their hair, instead positioning themselves on their hips, feeling the dig of his gloved hands into the soft bruised flesh. With barely any time to fully adjust he started to move-

A deep growl rumbled through his chest as he started to speed up the time of his thrust, (Y/N) felt hot like liquid fire was being drawed from their core from the forced pleasure pulling our rugged breathless moans as if they had been made for that sole purpose. A broken chores of moans and groans leaving their bruised lips at Buggys ruthless pace, Buggy moaned out loudly as he felt them tightening around him his hips starting to shudder.

(Y/N) babbling out incoherent moans and whimpers at the harshness of the thrust and the feeling of a orgasm so close to breaking through them.

"F-Fuck Fuck!"

He roared out, Slamming himself harder into them with a thundering speed. Pressing his chest against their back as he panted in their ear, his blue locks edged with sweat sticking to his forehead and fanning around (Y/N) as they screamed out moans- fresh tears running down their cheeks staining the mattress below as a forced orgasm ripped through their form- their body quaking from the force of the orgasm that shot through their body- Buggy grunting loudly as he slammed himself into them fully and came.

Buggy panted hard afterwards, Releasing their bruised hip and pushing how blue locks from his face. A series of panted curses leaving his lips as he pulled out of (Y/N) marveling at the damage he had done. Seeing them limp and barely functioning he scooped them up and placed them fully on the bed, Spreading their ass again to marvel at his claim.

(Y/N) laid there panting, The ache between their legs making it impossible to get comforble especially with Buggy's rough fingers rubbing against their abused hole. The world started to fade to black from the exhaustion from the day but Buggy's voice echoed around them with his twisted chuckle.

"I can't wait for tomorrow's show (Y/N)~"

Tag List-

@honey-eyed-munson

#buggy the clown x reader #buggy x reader #captain buggy #x reader #one peice x reader #one peice live action #one peice #buggy one piece #gn reader #dead dove fic

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ikebo-simp · 5 months

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Funniest SAGAU reverse isekai settings for them to pop into existence in:

1. Renaissance fair

2. Norway (Khaenri’ah is based off Norway so I think everyone would freak out)

3. Anime/Video game convention

4. New York City babey (or any major city) (like Enchanted but worse)

6. Haunted house

Nobody is having a good time, but it would be so funny.

I am so very sorry that it took me this long to write this, life kept throwing things at me and so I died before writing this

I haven't been to most of these places, but you are so correct, I'm mostly having them react to the places, and it's not necessarily focused on them searching for you

If it wasn't quite how you wanted, please ask again? I'll try my best

Renfaire:

Fischl, would fit perfectly in a Renfaire, overwelmed at first but slow grows to like more and more, before proudly proclaiming "I am the Prinzessin der Verurteilung" and all the people clap and bow down and respect her like a princess

What about Ayaka, joining in, changing into some of the clothes available and joining into the festivities, someplace where her responsibility don't weigh on her, somewhere the honor of her family doesn't follow her like a shadow

Both girls probably would this a blessing from 'Your Grace' a chance to relax and unwind in a place that welcomes them so warmly

Norway:

Dainsleif holds a bated breath as he looks around the place, familiar yet, unfamiliar. He torn on whether this is a gift from you or a curse, just what has he done to deserve this?

Zhongli feels his memories of the war coming back to him, flooding his thoughts, so many people... dead, why did you show him this place? Did you want to him something? Are you displeased with him?

Norway fills those who know about Khaenri'ah with a hidden dread, they misunderstand and think somethings changing, the world's getting overturned

Anime/Video Game Con

Nahida walks around the con glancing around, she understands that she's in a different world almost instantly, she's curious about the customs and world she just appeared in, does everyone try and imitate others? She does rather feel unnerved around the Dottore cosplayers

Collei immediately gets intimidated by all the loud sounds and the bumping bodies, although luckily several kind cosplayers took care of her and gently lead her away from the crowd, she honestly just very confusing and overstimulated

The con is a curious place for those who visit it and almost everyone who has trauma from Dottore wonder why there's so many Dottore clones all in one place

New York City:

Venti feels stifled, the air didn't have the same clean crispness of Teyvat, and although the sights are sounds of city are music to his ears, the air pushes on his chest like a heavy weight, making it hard for him to full enjoy his trip into the real world

Xinyan absolutely loves the city, the aesthetic, the feeling of expression, all kinds of music and styles, she wasn't getting weird stares or her style choice, she love her time in the city, her only problem? The how dirty the streets were

In New York City, it goes about as well as you'd expect, it's exciting to all the new sights, however... if it's extremely easy for one to get overstimulated

Haunted House:

Chongyun probably knocked out the first person that tried to scare him before realizing that it was just a normal person and not a evil spirit, he still gets his hopes up that he'll encounter a true ghost through

Hu Tao absolutely loves scaring the cast and guests, she'll find all the hiding spots and lay in wait for her next victim, honestly has a huge blast even though she's been transported into a different world

A/N Ahhhhh I posted it too early!!!!!!

Thanks for Reading

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meruz · 6 months

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Lightbox Expo 2023 is over!! Thank you to everyone who stopped by the table. I can't believe I sold out of both my sketchbooks AND my digimon fanbook... (multiple prints too?!)! I'm incredibly grateful... I will have a 2nd print run of both sketchbooks and online orders for the digimon book up in the next couple weeks so please keep an eye out for that!

More gushing abt the weekend under the cut

I sell at an average of idk... 3-4 events a year? So I would consider myself a frequent congoer though not necessarily full time lol. I'm a little jaded like it's not that I don't enjoy going to cons but theres definitely a bunch that feel like just-another-con-weekend to me lol, sometimes it's more work than play I guess. But this con felt really different! For the first time in a while I left a convention feeling really thrilled and giddy that I had been there. The kind of feeling I used to get when I would table at anime cons in highschool! And I think a lot of that is the people I met and talked to and the overall vibes at the event. Oh also I literally just had surgery and going to this con is like the only thing ive done this week besides lay in bed and play Story of Seasons on the nintendo switch and I thought I would be in pain and miserable but actually I HAD SO MUCH FUN...!!!! even when i skipped after-hours socializing every night to go home early and sleep 12 hours lol. SO ANYWAYS. YEAH. IT'S CORNY. BUT I wanna say thank you again to everyone who stopped by the table. Especially all the coworkers and long time mutuals who I met in person for the first time this weekend!! And the long time followers who told me they have been following me since homestuck or naruto or whenever. And college classmates who I haven't seen since graduation, crazy talented underclassmen who I'd never met but stopped by to say hi... So many people who absolutely made my day. SPECIAL thank you to my table partner Emi who is the best and such a good sport and accommodating to the point that I feel ridiculous when she thanks me for anything. And um also thank you to the artists who were cool and nice when I went up to their tables and blurted out 24917596 compliments in rapid succession. or only got one really awkward compliment out to LMAO... I felt so inspired and awe struck by everyone's work! God it was just so cool to be there. I LOVE ART....

Ok yeah thats it. its been a while since ive written a post-con blog post so earnestly lol.. here's my obscene haul photo I was buying stuff at this con like I was dying and couldn't take it with me LMAO.

I'm not gonna go tag everyone because I don't think everyones on tumblr but if you dont mind doing a little google search legwork: big x-men prints from chase conley, prints from jacki li/bguavas, azusa tojo, xanthe bouma, nicodaboy, susan yung, hormstuck, nessa tweneboah, linda liu, ash tahilan, zines also from jason dwyer, ash tahilan, aprilyn cunanan, veggiecakeface, deb lee, dune5and, uhh yoichi nishikawa art book and parakid calendar, stickers again from ash, marie lum, hormstuck, chiou, and emi hartana/crowlets OKAY I THINK I COVERED EVERYTHING THANKS FOR READING

#lifeblogging

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midgardian-witch · 4 months

Text

Blame It On The Moon

Jack has been distantly lately. A dangerous encounter in the woods shows you how much affection Jack and his wolf side really have for you.

ships: Jack Russell/afab!Reader

word count: 5.9k

AO3

Jack had been distant as of late. You had blamed it on the moon at first. Time had slowly creeped toward the dreaded full moon. The few days surrounding it always had him a bit cagey. You'd been traveling with Jack and Ted for so long identifying their moods had become second nature. Ted's humming and grunts got easier to interpret day by day. Even reading Jack had become easier, even though he hides his wolfish traits rather well. At this point you could figure out the current moon phase just by watching your werewolf companion for a while.

So while you had blamed his strange behavior on the moon at first something is gnawing at the back of your mind. The way Jack hastily excused himself from your presence whenever you joined him and Ted for coffee or how when you'd wake up in the middle of the night - startled by the sound of an animal stepping on a particularly loud twig - you'd find neither hide nor hair of the werewolf. It all started to feel more and more like Jack was actively avoiding you. The why eluded you though. You had become good friends with the werewolf since you had joined him and Ted. Or so you thought at least. Had you done something to upset him? You'd talk to him and ask but every time you tried he'd made a quick exit.

You slump down on a tree stump with a sigh. The rustling of foliage and a worried sounding grumbling alerts you to Ted's presence. You shake your head and wave him off.

"Don't worry about it, Ted. I'm just overreacting." Or so you hope.

The creature sits down next to you, raising an arm and offering a hug. You smile at him, grateful for his empathy and lean into the embrace. You take a deep breath and mumble a quiet thanks as he gives your body a soft squeeze. Even though Ted could look terrifying at first glance you know what a gentle being he truly is. Especially in times like this when emotions run high he’s like a calming balm for your soul.

A few moments pass before you lean back from the embrace. Ted's big red eyes look at you in his very own version of the puppy dog eyes. A small laugh escapes you and you nod.

"Yes, that helped. I feel a lot better already. Thank you, Ted."

Ted answers you with a pleased hum. His gaze drifts from your face to something behind you. You turn around to see what caught your friend's attention when you see Jack standing a few paces away, frozen in place. His mouth hangs open slightly as if he tried to say something but forgot what he wanted to say immediately after. He looks at you and for the first time since your very first meeting you can't pinpoint what emotion is going through his head.

The look on his face is something you hadn't seen before. He almost looks angry? Disappointed? You're not quite sure and yet whatever this emotion is it's making you even more worried given his latest tendency to flee the scene whenever you were present. You take a step closer, unsure whether your presence is wanted or not.

"Jack, are you alright? I haven't seen you around much lately. Did something happen?"

Better to be blunt than struggle with subtlety and unnecessary niceties if you want to get behind what is going on with your friend. With every step you take, Jack's posture seems to stiffen even more, shoulders tense and jaw locked. You stop a few paces away from Jack, tilting your head quizzically. The man in front of you just stares at you, seemingly not having heard a thing you said while at the same time seeming keenly aware of your movements.

"Jack?"

You take another tentative step and like a scared rabbit he suddenly bolts. At the spot in which mere seconds ago your friend and companion stood is not even a Jack-shaped dust cloud left. You see him vanish back into the woods as you let out a frustrated sigh. So much for talking things over.

You turn back to Ted who looks at you with his red glowing eyes and you suddenly feel pitied. Ted humms mournfully, his gaze drifting back to where Jack fled into the forest.

"I don't know what I did for him to run from me like I have the plague", you mumble under your breath as you kick a defenseless stone in front of your feet. You only get a thoughtful grunt from Ted this time.

"Or am I just overreacting? Is it just some new werewolf quirk he gets when the moon is getting fuller?"

Your thoughts tumble around like each one is a loose item in a desk drawer. Why would he react like this now? He'd been nervous or a bit jumpy in earlier moon cycles but never like this. Or at least not since you had joined the small group that was Ted and Jack.

Ted's thoughtful rumble doesn't give you any more insight on Jack's strange behavior. You sit back down next to him and bury your face in your hands, letting out another frustrated sigh.

"So you think it's just because there is a full moon tonight and he doesn't want to be close and potentially hurt me?"

You don't turn to Ted as you question his reasoning, instead you look up and watch as the sun is starting to slowly set over the horizon. This whole situation, the worrying and uncertainty, made your head spin. You're rubbing the bridge of your nose to stave off the beginnings of a headache.

Ted hums in affirmation and you choose to trust his judgment. He knew Jack longer than you did after all. And yet that answer did nothing to stop the nervous flutter in your stomach. Maybe you really were overthinking things. Jack was a kind and thoughtful man, it made sense for him to want to keep you safe, however strange it may seem. His protectiveness was one of the traits you admired in him. More than admired even.

It's been a few weeks since you realized that your feelings towards Jack were more than just those one would have for a platonic friend. He made you feel safe and cared for regardless of the circumstances. You were in the woods in the middle of nowhere and yet you had never felt safer. Ted had a big part in that too but with Jack things were different. While Ted had become a great friend you didn't wake up from dreams of you two kissing tenderly under a starlit sky. But with Jack? You'd lost count of how often you wake up from dreaming about your lips pressing against his, hands combing through his unruly hair.

All of this makes the distance he has inadvertently put between the two of you hurt even more. Did he know? Could werewolves sense things like that? Crushes? They say wolves can smell fear, was it the same for other emotions? Could he hear the way your heart beat faster whenever you got too close? Is that why Jack is staying away? Maybe he just wants to let you down easy but is too nice to tell you to your face that he is not interested in you. Not in that way. Just as a friend.

You shake your head as you let out another groan of frustration. No, you would not let yourself go down that train of thought. Your crush on Jack was bad enough but you would not put words in his mouth like that. You'd have to just ask him, talk to him about it. Somehow. When he doesn't just run away again.

You look back at Ted, his red eyes studying you carefully. "I'll talk to him about that after the full moon. I've been safe before without him avoiding me for days on end. There needs to be a better solution."

You stand up and walk over to the small tent you and Jack used for shelter when the three of you were traveling - though at this point it hadn't been used by Jack in a while. A part of you is grateful for that especially since you've developed more than platonic feelings for the werewolf. Sleeping in the same tent as the man you have a crush on was dangerous territory.

You enter the tent with one goal in mind: finding a distraction. Jack wouldn't be back before the morning at this rate and you'd rather not be alone with your thoughts at this time. You remember that there was a deck of cards around here somewhere. Roping Ted into playing a few rounds with you before it was time to retire for the night should keep your mind off of Jack for the time being.

Digging around your belongings you come across something you hadn't seen in a while. From between Jack's things you recognize a soft piece of fabric - a scarf you had lent Jack early on when you decided to travel with the strange duo. Another security measure, or so the werewolf had explained, something to remember you by - to remember your scent - should you ever come across the wolf. Next to it you find sturdy iron chains, a bit on the older side but still functional. They were the chains Jack used to keep himself locked up and tied down at a full moon.

Wait.

What were the chains doing here when it was already starting to get dark and Jack was who-knows-where alone in the woods? A shiver runs down your spine. Jack wouldn't be this careless, not if there wasn't something bigger at play.

You gather up your scarf and the iron chains, the card deck you came here for completely forgotten, and leave the tent. The chains rattle in your arms as you return to Ted's side. He gives you a questioning groan, head tilted to the side, as you stuff the heavy chains into your backpack and tie your scarf around your neck.

"Jack left these and it's already getting dark. I have no idea how he could forget them but I have to get them to him before we have a werewolf wandering the woods. What if there are people camping? What if some hiker decided to go out at night for whatever-the-fuck. What if-"

What if he hurts someone innocent? Jack would never be able to live with himself after that.

You close your bag with shaking hands, heart racing like you just ran a marathon. Putting on your backpack you take one last look at Ted.

"I have to find him. I'll be fine. Just stay here in case he comes back before I find him."

Ted just nods, knowing once you had made up your mind he couldn't do much to dissuade you. With a soft hum he asks you to be safe and you give him a smile that you hope comes across as confident before you make your way into the woods.

You're nervous, walking through the thick foliage, tall, sturdy trees obscuring most of the last rays of sunlight that fight their way over the horizon. You try to focus your senses on finding Jack, the sound of careful footsteps, the sight of a figure moving through the bushes or just the eerie feeling of someone being nearby, anything. But all you feel is your heart threatening to beat out of your chest, all you hear is your own quickened breath. What if you're too late?

In desperation you start calling his name, your voice getting more and more panicked each time. After what feels like hours of walking but could have only been a few minutes of almost screaming yourself hoarse you finally hear the answering call of your own name. You stop in your tracks, eyes frantically searching for the source of the voice, Jack's voice. At a distance you see a figure move towards you. You call out his name again and the figure moves faster. Finally you see him fully, Jack closing in on you, his face a mirror of your own panic.

"What are you doing here? The sun is almost down! You can't be here, it's too dangerous!"

You nod, completely agreeing, as you take off your backpack and open it, showing him the thick iron chains inside.

"I am aware of that, thank you. But I couldn't let you be out here alone without these."

You pull the chains out of the bag and hold them out towards him. His face lights up in recognition before his brows furrow. He looks guilty.

"I- I completely forgot. Dios mio, thank you. I just-"

He takes the chains and looks around as if he suddenly realized he was lost. His eyes find the thick trunk of a tree nearby and he walks towards it. Jack takes a few rounds around the tree, inspecting it and giving it a small nod when he deems it suitable. He turns back to you, still a guilty look on his face as he asks: "Would you-? Could you- uh. Help me with this?"

He must have done this so many times before and yet he stands before you like a lost child. Your heart squeezes uncomfortably in your chest as you nod and follow him to the tree. Carefully you wrap the iron chains around the tree and Jack, securing him to it like a hostage in one of those countless Robin Hood movies. You worry about hurting Jack but he guides you through the motions, telling you how tight the chains should be in order to hold him back.

Your hands feel like they are burning after you are done - from the cold or the strain to them you don't know. You take a step back and look at the man in front of you. A quiet part in the back of your mind suggests that now is the time to make Jack talk, now that he can't run away again, but you push that voice back. By the thickness of the tree crowns you can't say how much daylight you have left and the wolf would certainly not be able to answer your questions.

"You should leave."

You can tell he is trying to sound stern and yet his eyes betray him, pleading for you to heed his words. You take a moment to just look at him. You won't lie and say you aren't curious about the other him, the wolf. But that curiosity is overshadowed by a very different emotion.

You don't want him to be alone.

It's silly maybe. Staying here would be dangerous for you. No one can predict if Jack will still recognize you when he turns or if the chains, old as they are, would even hold tonight. But you have seen the aftermath enough to know that whatever happens on the full moon it drains Jack. Hurts him in ways that no blade nor bullet can. And you don't want him to go through that alone.

Your pondering is disturbed by groans of pain. Jack is writhing against the chains, body shaking violently. Your eyes widen as you look up and only see a bit of silvery light shining through the leaves.

The full moon had risen.

Jack's groans of pain turn into inhuman growling. You watch as his limbs shift, claws and fur growing. It's hard to avert your gaze from this gruesome sight, your eyes linger while your mind tells you to run. And yet you are frozen in place, by shock or by fear is unclear and irrelevant. Time slows down as you watch the figure in front of you strain against the chains, growling like a cornered animal. He doesn't even seem to notice you anymore.

"J-Jack?"

Immediately his eyes are on yours.

Oh.

You'd have thought his eyes would look different but they are still Jack's. Still the same beautiful brown-green. Time slows down as the two of you just stare into each other's eyes and you feel like you can't breathe.

Getting closer would be a horrible idea. Terrible. Absolutely stupid.

As you try and talk yourself out of doing something that could get you seriously hurt or worse killed the wolfman starts to sniff the air around himself. A soft whine takes you by surprise. His eyes had become impossibly large, pupils dilated to leave nothing but black. He keeps panting and sniffing and whining, looking at you with the one thing you would have expected from Jack but not the wolf: puppy dog eyes.

You blink as if it would change the scene in front of you. Maybe you hit your head on your way here or maybe you stumbled and this is a dream or hallucination.

The surrealism of the situation gives you the courage to step forward, closer to the werewolf tied to a tree. You are only a few paces away before Jack starts to struggle against the chains again, growling and snarling angrily. You flinch and step back again. As you leave his proximity the wolf starts to whine again, looking at you with big, round eyes, pleading. Your first thought is that he wants to be free from those chains. Who wouldn't be after all? Nobody wants to be held against their will.

You take another careful step forward, repeating this strange dance of two steps forward, one step back - all the time never breaking eye contact with the wolf. Each time you come closer Jack fights harder against his restraints. Each time you step back he starts whining and whimpering like a dog begging for treats.

You just hope he doesn't see you as the treat.

Repeating this song and dance multiple times you are now about an arm's length away from Jack. He is still straining and fighting against the chains but it doesn't scare you as much as it did but a few minutes ago. Slowly, carefully you raise your hand. Jack's eyes look away from yours for the first time - eager to watch your hand, head tilted towards it, eagerly taking in your scent. You swallow hard hoping against hope that if anyone saw you they would blame the heat in your cheeks on the cold. Your fingers softly brush against Jack's cheek and you feel his fur for the first time. You're in awe, your hand hovering next to his face. You'd never thought his fur would feel this soft.

A rumbling startles you out of your thoughts and it takes you a moment to figure out the source of the sound. You can feel Jack rubbing his face against your hand, softly growling, almost like a purr, as he eagerly chases your touch. You can't quite stop the nervous laugh that forces its way out of your lungs. You resume your petting and the content rumbling sound gets louder, echoing in the empty forest.

"Is that it? You want to be petted?"

You don't really expect an answer but you feel like you can't just stay quiet around Jack, even if he isn't the best conversationalist at the moment. His mouth is hanging open, panting loudly, allowing you a closer look at his sharp fangs. The werewolf gives another whine, not content with just rubbing his cheek against the palm of your hand anymore. He drags his tongue along the inside of your wrist leaving a damp stripe of saliva in its wake. You gasp, embarrassed by the unbidden thoughts of how that tongue would feel in other places.

Hesitantly you take a step back, needing the physical distance to compose yourself. You ignore the disgruntled growling of the werewolf and close your eyes, taking a deep breath. This was a bad idea. Jack isn't in his right mind and you shouldn't take advantage of that. Not to mention that the wolf in front of you may seem somewhat harmless now but that could change any second. You should leave and find Jack again in the morning to untie him. Or tell Ted where to find him.

A metallic groan disrupts your thoughts and when you open your eyes again you see Jack pulling at his chains. You take another startled step back as the werewolf breaks his restraints, metal bending and breaking under his inhuman strength.

In a flash he is on you, your body crashing into the ground. Your back hits the earth and you gasp, pain shooting up your spine. As you look up you see right into those stunning eyes that held you captivated only moments ago. Jack kneels over you, his whole body trapping you underneath him. He bends over, nuzzling into your neck. You hear nothing but his hot breath and your own heart pounding in your ears. You keep completely still, afraid that any small move could be the wrong one and thus your last. You were never afraid of Jack but the wolf had you terrified. You flinch involuntarily as you feel his wicked tongue against your neck, sharp canines dragging softly against your skin. Heat curls in your abdomen as you gasp out his name. The rumble in his chest vibrates through you as his body crowds yours. There is no space, no air left between the two of you as Jack rubs his face against your neck, claws against your sides and his hips sliding against your legs.

It feels like your mind is made out of static as you feel the drag of his sizable erection against your thighs. You were afraid the wolf was seeing you as a treat to devour - you didn't know how right and wrong you were before now.

"J-Jack! Oh God", you gasp as the werewolf keeps grinding down on you frantically. You wrap your arms around his broad shoulders, fingers digging into the dark fur, pulling him even closer. With a pleased rumble he paws at your clothes, eager to get them off, to expose more and more of your skin. His claws rip through your clothes, the fabric tearing apart like tissue paper. You shiver at the contrast between the heat radiating off of Jack and the cool night breeze, goosebumps prickling over your skin. Jack drags his tongue from your neck over your collarbone to the swell of your chest. Your nipples stiffen with Jack's proximity and the low temperature of everything but yourself and the werewolf currently bent over you.

He huffs against your bare skin, his tongue swirling around your peaked nipples. With a choked off moan you squirm beneath Jack. He holds you down with his sheer mass, his hips still grinding against you. You can feel the heat of his hard cock through the fabric of your pants.

"F-fuck! Jack please-"

You don't even know if he understands you, how much Jack there is left in this creature but you can't help yourself. Desperate for more, you tighten your grip on his fur and try to guide his head lower. The werewolf offers no resistance, only a questioning hum as he traces the path downward with his tongue. Once his face is right above your clothed pussy he inhales deeply, taking in the scent of your arousal that is evident to him even through your clothing. His whole body shudders and all air leaves his lungs with a dark growl.

You flinch at the sound, your sex-addled mind clearing as you are once again aware of who and especially what you are currently laying under. This was dangerous. What are you even doing? You can't just have sex with Jack while he is under the influence of the full moon. This was a glaring consent issue. What if he doesn't want you like that? What if the wolf would actually try to eat you? What if-

You are violently pulled out of your thoughts by your pants being ripped apart by two clawed hands and dragged off of your body. With a surprised yelp you try and scramble backwards but the wolf is faster. His claws dig into the soft flesh of your thighs much more gently than you could have anticipated. Once again you feel like you are pinned down like a butterfly in a display case.

Jack spreads your legs apart, his face so close to your core with only the thin fabric of your underwear covering you. You watch him and try your best to stay still. His tongue runs along the already soaked fabric of your panties. You gasp and your hips involuntarily cant upwards, desperately seeking more friction. Jack repeats the motion with a satisfied growl before you feel his fangs against your skin.

Your heart is pounding in your ears, both terrified and aroused by the sharp glide of his canines so close to your sensitive cunt. With one sharp tug on the flimsy fabric the wolf tears your underwear apart with his teeth. You can feel the cold air against your wet folds and instinctively try to cross your legs but you are stopped by Jack still hunched between your thighs.

Quickly the freezing forest breeze is replaced by the hot panting of the werewolf, his face hovering over your glistening cunt. Another satisfied rumble vibrates through his chest before his flexible tongue slides between your wet folds in long, firm strokes. Your whole body shudders as his tongue circles your sensitive clit, a choked off moan falling from your lips. You tighten your grip on his fur, desperately clinging to him for support.

Slowly, like rolling waves, you feel your orgasm approaching. At once it rushes over you, your whole body shaking with its intensity. Your breath shudders as the last waves of your orgasm ripple through your body and your arms fall weakly to your sides. For a moment you forget the surreal situation you are in and just enjoy the afterglow of such an intense climax.

You can feel Jack’s hot breath against your sensitive sex. He climbs over you once more, caging you in under his broad form, his throbbing cock lying heavy against your abdomen. Jack slowly drags his cock down between your legs, rubbing teasingly between your folds. You gasp at the feeling and look up. His dark eyes seem to devour you, like the feast he just made of your pussy wasn't enough to sate him.

Mind still buzzing with the afterglow of your orgasm you blearily watch Jack’s canine face. It takes you a moment to recognize the question in the wolf's eyes. You're stunned for a second with the realization that even when turned into this beast that he so fears, Jack would never force himself on you. Not trusting yourself to get the words out you nod instead. The wolf's pleased rumble fills your ears and you feel the blunt pressure of his cock against your entrance soon after.

Even with how wet you are, especially after your recent orgasm, you can feel the stretch of Jack's impressive girth entering you. He pushes inside you slowly, much slower than you'd expect from the werewolf. You gasp, his size more than you'd ever felt. Jack halts his movements and lets out a soft, almost worried sounding whine. You take deep breaths, squeezing your eyes closed and try to relax around his uncomfortable size.

“I’m alright. Just- just give me a moment,” you force the words out between your lips. Your face is twisted in pain, not too much to overwhelm you but enough to make your breath shudder. Suddenly you feel Jack's nose and cheek rub against yours, his apologetic whimpers filling your ears. He's trying to soothe you or maybe apologize - you're not sure. Your eyes blink open and with shaky hands you reach out to grasp his face gently.

It's difficult to read Jack's facial expressions like this, his wolfish features distorting the soft smiles or raised eyebrows you're so used to from Jack. The only thing unchanged by his transformation are his eyes, still so expressive even under the influence of the full moon. You take deep breaths, trying to calm your mind and relax. Jack rubs his cheek against yours, whimpering softly in your ear. “It’s ok. I know you don’t want to hurt me,” you try to soothe him, your fingers playing with his fur.

It takes you a few moments until you feel ready to continue. “You can move now. But slowly,” you tell him softly, your hands still buried in his fur, “Please.” He nods in understanding and the werewolf slowly starts moving his hips. You feel his massive cock drag against your slick walls, the pain his size and girth had caused you turning gradually into pleasure. Jack trembles over you, the need to just mindlessly plow into you slowly growing stronger than his restraint. As he bottoms out you shudder, your drawn out moan echoing through the forest. Jack stays unmoving inside you, his head buried in your neck, panting heavily into your ear. You can feel his cock pulse inside your pussy and you instinctively clench around him. With a deep growl his hips stutter and you gasp.

“Move oh god please move,” you beg. Jack doesn’t leave you waiting and at once he starts really fucking into you. His clawed hands hold your hips tightly and leave you unable to move as he buries his cock in you again and again. It’s maddening feeling him so deep inside of you, feeling him everywhere. The werewolf responds to every flutter of your cunt, to every sound spilling from your lips, growling and fucking you faster and harder. The last thought you have is that you won’t be able to walk in the morning and then he hits that spot inside of you that makes your mind go blank. Your eyes roll into the back of your head and you let out an ungodly moan. You can’t think, all you know is the feeling of his massive cock splitting you open and the inhuman wolfman using fucking you like a human-sized fleshlight. It’s absolute bliss and you let yourself fall into the pleasure he gives you. You’re babbling something; you can hear your voice but you don’t know what you’re saying but he seems to understand, huffing and puffing in response. He lifts your hips and the angle makes you cry out even louder. The slick sound of his cock plowing into you is obscene but you don’t care. You’re getting closer and closer to your second orgasm, your fingers digging almost painfully into his fur, urging him on until a particularly hard thrust makes you see stars and pushes you over the edge. It’s too much, the pleasure overwhelming you as everything goes dark and you lose consciousness.

The first thing you notice when you come to yourself is the hard ground under you and the heavy weight on top of you. You open your eyes and the sunlight spilling through the leaves makes you squint. How long were you out? If the sun was already out then-

The weight on top of you shifts and you hear Jack grumble. Not the wolf but Jack. A very human, very naked Jack lays on you, his head on your chest. You freeze when you feel him slowly rouse from his sleep. Panic rises in your chest. What would you tell him? Did he remember what happened last night? Your spiraling thoughts grind to a halt when Jack’s eyes, heavy with sleep, find yours. His brow furrows as he mumbles your name. Realization dawns on his face and you can’t do anything but watch, anything you could say to him stuck in your throat. But where you expect embarrassment or disgust you only find terror. “Oh no, what did I do?” he whispers to himself. “Jack, I-” He sits up and the missing weight on you feels wrong. His eyes scan your body, taking in your ripped clothing. “Did I hurt you? Ay Dios, what did I do?” “Jack,” you try to pull his attention towards you, voice raised, “You did nothing wrong. You didn’t hurt me.” His eyes find yours trying to catch you in a lie but he finds only the truth. His shoulders slump with a deep sigh.

You stay quiet before Jack breaks the silence. “Why did you stay with me? You could have died!” He is still frowning but you can hear the anger in his voice. “I wanted to help! I-,” you explain as you sit up and try to cover yourself with the bits and pieces of clothing you are left with, “The wolf, he wanted me to stay. He didn’t attack me.” Jack swallows around the lump in his throat, pointedly not looking at you when you cover up to give you some privacy. “It’s a beast. You should have run. You should have-” “He didn’t attack me, Jack. He likes me.” A faint blush creeps on his face. “Likes you? I don’t think that describes quite what happened here,” he mumbles sheepishly.

Jack carefully sneaks a peek at you, not so subtly checking for injuries again. “Are you sure you aren’t hurt?” He sounds so worried and it breaks your heart. “I’m alright. A bit sore maybe but no injuries.” Jack clears his throat awkwardly, “Sore? Oh dear. I am so sorry. I didn’t- I mean, I wasn’t-” Gently you put your hand on his shoulder. “It’s ok. You weren’t in control. I know you don’t like me like that,” you reassure him, the words leaving a bittersweet taste in your mouth. He looks at you like you’re speaking in tongues. “You don’t…mi vida, I thought I was pretty obvious,” he says, embarrassment clear in his voice. You blink at him in confusion. “What do you mean?” Jack swallows hard and turns towards you fully. “I like you. Very much. I mean, I am attracted to you,” he sighs, rubbing his face, “The closer the full moon gets the harder it is to hide my feelings. I was close to ripping Ted apart yesterday just because he gave you a hug. It’s maddening.”

Your heart races, heat spreading through your cheeks. “You- You mean that you-” “I’m in love with you. And I know this is the worst timing and I really didn’t want our first time to be like this,” he motions around him. Your heart feels heavy and light at the same time. “I love you too, Jack.” He smiles at you, a big toothy grin that makes you smile too. “I’m glad. I didn’t think you did. That’s why I tried to hide it.” You nod in understanding given that you did pretty much the same. You tell him as much as you lean in closer, resting your head on his shoulder.

You don’t know how long you stay like this, the sun rising further and the forest waking around you. It’s only when you gather your things and make your way back to camp, careful of any hikers catching you in the nude that you turn to Jack and ask: “How do we tell Ted?” Jack laughs, shaking his head. “I have a feeling he already knows, mi vida.”

#jack russell x reader #jack russell #werewolf by night #wbn #jack russell/reader #wbn fanfic #werewolf by night fanfic #fran-writes

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untitled-gem · 10 months

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Everything we know about Fionna and Cake's first episode!

As you know, the episode was just shown at San Diego Comic Con. I thought I'd make a helpful post to let you all know exactly what we learned about the episode.

All the information will be from user HypraSeaPea on Twitter, who attended the premiere.

WARNING: This post contains what some would consider to be spoilers!!! It's important to note that there WAS essentially a play-by-play of the episode in the AT SubReddit, but as far as I know, that has been removed. I did not read it as to not spoil myself, and this post is mainly HINTS at what's to come, not a full recount.

The episode is apparently a lot different to what a lot of people are expecting, and VERY GOOD

According to this user, the reason why the descriptions of the series have all been pretty vague is because it is a case like 'Distant Lands: Together Again' and it would essentially spoil the rest of the plot.

The show has light swears such as 'damn' and 'Jesus', however we don't know which characters are saying them.

It has been described as a 'departure from the original series but still feels like Adventure Time, with lots of little references like Distant Lands'.

We don't know what time period it is set in yet, since it is a different universe.

Gunter makes an appearance! (It could be because of the Ice Thing-like sword)

The episode references the original AT episode 'Fionna and Cake and Fionna', but in an unexpected way.

The episode was around 25 minutes long

There was not a title card like the original series, but there was a credits animation.

It has an intro sequence, although it's unknown if it was for the show as a whole. It contains a lot of quick cameos.

The episode was rated a 10/10 (if the payoff is good). It seems like this episode was just quite a lot of buildup.

The one second snippet from a while back wasn't in the episode, but it's possibly from Episode 2

There was a cameo of Flame Prince/Princess early on (possibly within the intro)

Episode 1 is very centered around Fionna as a main character. Cake still has a major role but it doesn't seem to be so much from her perspective.

The swears, specifically the use of 'Jesus' is thankfully done in a way that makes sense, and these swears don't replace the already used AT swear words like 'Glob' etc

Marshall Lee seems to be in it! And he also seems to be voiced by Donald Glover!

Finn and Jake didn't seem to have any involvement, which isn't surprising

Prince Gumball's voice has reportedly been changed

BMO has at least a line in the episode, still voiced by Niki Yang! Their 'Come Along With Me' room is also seen in it briefly as a reference it seems

Simon did not appear in the first episode. It's assumed that he will come up later, possibly in the second or third.

There were lots of the gender swapped characters, and lots with speaking roles besides the main two.

There were also some new gender swapped characters that we haven't seen before.

Apparently, this episode also includes a character we've only seen one time before.

In this episode it is also apparently revealed that Fionna's last name is Campbell, as opposed to Finn's which is Mertens. This is the genderswapped world so this makes sense

Marshall Lee seems to play quite a big part in the first episode

Flame Prince does make an appearance!!!!

I'll be updating this from time to time to include any details I missed!

#adventure time #fionna and cake

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shysuccubusstuff · 2 months

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yandere! megumi pt. 1

TW: Bullying (no physical violence tho), yandere behaviour, obssessive, dub-con.

Note: I put green eyes cause apparently his eyes are light green in the manga but dark blue in the anime, but you can imagine him however, idc. I honestly feel that the naughty part is kinda lame... so let me know how can I improve! It is my first time writing this type of content.

So, imagine:

Due to certain circumstances in your life, you were forced to move to a different school, forced to do your last year before university in a place so far away from your old school and your old friends.

At first, you tried to remain positive, I mean, it was just a year, then you could move back to your city, with your old friends close, so of course you could handle having to make new friends!

That was what you thought at first, but this quickly changed during your first week there, the professors were fine, and your classmates had not been mean or anything but since some black-haired boy had set his eyes on you, everyone tried to avoid you, avoiding your gaze and your touch even for something unimportant as giving them a pen back. Despite you tried so hard to act like you didn't care, you sometimes had to take a break, hiding in the library and burying your facc with any book just so you can let a few tears out, cause, just what have you done for people to be so cold towards you? So you start to simply accept it, becoming more silent as the days go by, sitting at the back of the class you can lie to yourself, people just haven't noticed you, of course it is not because each of them are absolutely scared of becoming the target of Fushiguro Megumi, adopted son of one of the powerful persons in the city, having the dissapproval of Megumi meant being rejected from all of the universities that were in a radius of 100km.

The moment when you started to avoid the contact with any other person, that was the moment when Megumi started to appear around you, first, he started to appear in your classes, he was presented as a "new student" (he had been there since he was a child, but you of course didn't know that), he was seated at your side, asking you questions from time to time, getting close to you little by little. He also starts go to the library, he suddenly appears in what you thought was the most secluded and hidden place, his green eyes looking at your teary eyes, and his expression changes, his eyes look worried, his hands slowly caress your cheeks, wiping down the tears that were rolling through your face, and from then he suddenly became your best friend! He accompanies you to all the classes, he eats with you, he hangouts with you, he even buys sweet treats for you when you feel down or sick! So of course you start to warm up to him, opening your heart (and house) to him, telling him how bad you felt when people started to get away from you while he patted your hair, calloused hands moving through your soft hair, how scared you were to start a new life in a new city... He obviously took advantage of the great evolution that your relationship was taken, so when you asked him to go to your graduation together he was overjoyed!

That same evening he was waiting at your front door, his eyes shinning so pretty under the night lights, all dressed in black, hair down, he even brought you flowers! You weren't even able to imagine what would happen that same night...

Several hours had passed, your brain was so foggy from all the drinks you had been given by Megumi, somehow you always ended up with a drink in your hard, the other hand occupied by megumi's hand, tightly gripped around yours. So when you suddenly felt he was tugging from your dress, you obviously followed him, he made way for you, arriving in no time to your home, opening the door as if it was his home and taking off your shoes, your feet hurting from staying too long without sitting. He dragged you to your bed, slowly making his way through all the accessories and the beautiful dress you wore that night, despite the weird situation, cause who would let their MALE best friend get rid of all of your clothes, he slowly gets rid of his tie, letting his jacket somewhere around your room and walking towards you, eyes glistening with a dangerous glow, almost like some kind of predator eyeing a prey... Why was he getting so close to you? Why was your body so heaten up? Megumi was on top of you, his breath smelt just like the alcohol that you had been drinking most part of the night: "Hey bunny... why don't you let yourself go while I take care of you'" Megumi whispered into your ear, making your heartbeat go up and somehow making you feel a bit embarrased... Was it because of the situation? Or perhaps because he was suddenly acting like a male, rather than being almost like a girl best friend? His body was ligthened by the dim light of your night light, his body was fit, not huge, but he was definitely working out, his eyes were a bit foggy as well, shaky breath and dilatated pupils, was he just as drunk as you?

"You know... I've been trying so hard to hide it... I always got so fucking hard when you let yourself lay on top of me... your cute face being so close to me, your sweet smell surrounding me... God... I'm sorry, I don't think I will be able to handle it anymore..." His face was red, his face getting closer to you, his lips shining, he kissed you, softly at first but it quickly turned in something much more carnal, tongues intertwining, saliva dripping a little from your mouth, your body was heating up so much.

"it can be a lil scary to feel like you are in heat, so I have taken the same ammount of drinks... though I think your head is even more dizzy than mine..." He made fun of you, his face showing you how superior he felt as he saw you in that state, completely naked, hard nipples and your face red, foggy eyes... He could definitely cum just from seeing your pretty face making that kind of expression... He wasted no time, taking off his shirt and throwing out to the floor, he slowly unzipped his pants, smiling to you with a cocky expression.

"Let's test if this thing really works, shall we?"

#megumi fushiguro smut #megumi fushiguro #smut #jujutsu kaisen #jjk x reader #jjk #fanfiction #jjk au #yandere #tw yandere #yandere male #yandere boyfriend

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necros-writing-stuff · 7 months

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It's been a really long time since I've been here, life has just been too busy and tiring. I haven't even been able to draw I'm so sorry. Can I ask for two?

PC with a flu or high fever with Eden and Trauma induced Eden insisting on going out to work or sell products to earn money to pay Bailey given that they're already permitted by Eden to go back to town every now and then and that Eden didn't directly buy PC from Bailey. Take your time imma just be here sick in bed.

Hey! So sorry this took so long! I hope you're doing much better now. And don't worry about not having done art! We all work at our own paces, don't push yourself to create when you don't have the will to.

I think I've already covered PC with a sickness, and how Eden is a stern but attentive caretaker. We can see this when there's pass out events at the cabin. They bring you in, put you to bed. After the pred/prey scene they even get you water. So Eden would likely work as normal, but come in to check on you every so often. Get you a drink or a snack. If you're well enough, you can do small indoor chores. If not, sleep as much as is needed.

As for traumatised Eden at the market? Mmmm that good. That's a yummy one. Note: when I say that it's often about horrible things, isn't it? Double note: Lynx would be Axe body spray to the 'Muricans.

Oh - warning for mentions of past non-con btw.

There's too much noise. It burrows into his brain, denying any attempts to drown out the calls of purveyors of goods around him. Calling out their produce, prices, how long they'd be there.

There's a baby crying. Wailing as it's father talks on the phone and half-asses shushing it by waving a toy in its face while he isn't even looking at the babe.

There's so many smells he swears they're causing him a headache. Food. Sweat. Some abhorrent chemical smell as a group of teenage boys pass. He remembers Lynx. Remembers the locker rooms at school.

There's eyes everywhere. Blue, green, brown. He thought he saw red at one point. No- no he definitely did. There's a group of goths wandering around. Probably one of them with contact lenses. Eden could swear he feels at least one pair of eyes on him each and every second.

Scant few customers come to his stall. Its mostly older patrons: elderly craftspeople who still practise their trades as the youth buy from companies; aspiring chefs excited to grill up some real game; this one old man who always shows up for the dried back-strap. Eden doesn't remember his name, but the man swears by the stuff. Says Eden comes with the best stock and those other hunters bring bare scraps. Not a surprise, he's seen the incompetence of others who come through the forest.

He swears he can hear laughter amongst the throngs of people. Swears that it must be directed at him. His ugly face. His huge body. His clothing, old and patched. But he has to stay. Has to do it for you. To keep you safe and out of Bailey's money machine.

He wished you were here. Wished you'd come bounding up to him with that smile of yours and drag him home. But you're also at work, coralling dogs at the pound for spare change to contribute to Eden's payments to Bailey. Apparently the mutts listen now that you smell like him. Funny thing, how he affects animals. Even dumbass chickens hate him. He'd considered getting some once, but they'd get so stressed around him they wouldn't be able to lay any eggs. Oh, and foxes could take them.

Best to stay there, in those inconsequential memories of the past. It's hard to when he sees a face that surges horrid memories to the front instead. The man looked to be about 70 by this point, wobbling around with a cane. He'd already been grey when they'd met.

"Got any boar meat, lad?" He wheezed, bug-like eyes pooring over the table. His voice was weaker than it had been. There's no flicker of recognition in the freaky eyes.

"A few cuts. Belly or back? I've got hooves, too." Eden's voice doesn't break. Doesn't show his rising panic.

A claw-like hand reaches out to where Eden directed his attention. A shiver goes down the hunter's spine. He remembers those hands. How clammy and cold they'd been. How... insistent and encompassing.

"Aye, this one's a good heavy steak. How much?"

Eden's eyes didn't leave the old man's face. "Freshest cut, got the beast last night. £5."

The old man licks his lips as he pries his wallet free, the appendage dried, cracked and pale. Just like the rest of him. He'd had a tan back then. A terrible, fake one. Fucker had been orange.

Teens ran past once more, barely missing the old man as they screamed. The crypt-bound bag of bones scoffed, disgust apparent. But his eyes linger too long on one of the older boys, with longer dark hair and a skinny frame, just about old enough to start drinking Eden thinks.

Attention soon returned to the hunter, the smile back. Oh look, he'd kept half of his teeth. Impressive for someone his age. They were rotted, though. More so than they had been when he'd visited the orphanage. Probably time for dentures. Eden could still remember the smell of his breath.

"£5, a good price for a good steak. My wife will fry this up well." He's laughing. Eden grants him a polite smile as he wraps up the meat and hands it over.

He tracks the old man as he leaves, watching as his thumb strokes over the paper bill in his hand. He doesn't take a deep breath until he knows he's gone. He can't take a deep breath until he knows, for sure, that he's gone.

£2.50 was what he'd payed for Eden back then.

#spill your guts #zeozzo #eden the hunter #cw noncon mention #gn reader #cw paranoia

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hellfireconfessions · 4 months

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Hey there, is Guri here. You may know me from years or unfortunately for all the drama before HF shutdown. All this situation is getting a lot put of hand for me, and I wanted to reach out here in order to explain what happened on my side ( if anything is worder incorrectly, please let me know, English is not my first language.)

Ok, so... About the doc. Some people may have read it already, and may not know what it means because the wording wasn't the better but I'll give some context. It was a story from a villain character POV on their abussive relationship with other character, both of the characters are from my creation. "Did the doc contained grooming?" No, both characters are adults. The villain character met the other character once when it was small and then didn't met each other after the other one was adult. "Did the doc had sexual content?" No, the "love bites" were a trait I gave to my characters subspecies, but since the character in question was a villain, the bites used to happen a lot more than usual. "Did the doc had zoophilia?" no, both characters are animals. "Did the doc had non-con/rape?" No, all the doc is basically the villain saying that they love biting the second character and that they love the taste of the blood. "What does the [ But she had a body I can't recall her to have] then?" the original concept of the character was a normal bipedal Utahraptor with some feathers, later was revamped to a quadrupedal more "cat-like" creature. That line meant that the character used to remember the other as s feathered normal Utahraptor, and now that they are adults, seeing her as a completely new creature with different features is weird. "What does [ swollen womb] means?" pregnancy, thought it would be another way to say it. The doc had a trigger warning on the very top and was censored entirely, to ensure the safety of sensitive readers. But many people ignored it.

I haven't groomed anyone, I'm not a pedophile, I'm not a zoophile. My characters does not define me, I'm sorry if anyone has felt uncomfortable with the doc. I truly thought that putting a warning and censoring it would be fine. The server in which was posted was a +17 server, which a few 16 years old members. No one has reached to me about the docs until noodles did on a report ticket, I got a final warning and got my pack rep removed and accepted the punishment. But aside from that, I haven't done anything. I would like to ask for the harassment and lies about me to stop, saying that im a pedophile, zoophile, that i promote incest, rape and other horrible things is not true, even I heard that some people were saying that they had proof of me grooming people and that there was a supposed victim. Of course, when you asked for the evidence, none was provided aside from the doc.

I been banned from server which I haven't played on, all for a doc that staff decided it was not banneable. Getting into my personal space and insulting my family is also not ok, while I won't blame the entire dentem et pluma pack even if the comments they made about me were horrible and I had never talked about them that way, one thing is insulting me as a player, other different is including my husband as Snail did. I make this announcement as an attempt for people to also see my side of things, that I am sorry for how everything took place and that even if horrible things were said towards me, I mean no ill intentions towards my aggressors that as long you didn't insulted my family. Guys, this is a dinosaur game, it's totally ok to not be friends with everyone but what is not ok is harassing, insulting and getting in the personal life of someone over a dino game. Stop the doxxing too, stop judging the private lives of members. If anyone would like to talk about what happened and have a fresh start/make amends. My DMs are always open.

normally i wouldnt approve but i dont know the exact details of what happened so ill let yall go at it

#guri

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thetombedspirit · 26 days

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So, I just finished the main story of Avatar: Frontiers of Pandora - WARNING! SPOILERS AHEAD!

First off, I want to talk about the cons of the game before jumping into the pros, but to be honest with ya, the cons are few and far in between and were more about personal preference then the performance of the game itself.

For starters:

1. The Glitches - Like literally, during a few quests, there will be some dialogue, but it'll randomly cut out with the excuse that enemies are near by, when that is absolutely not the case. It was only so bad that I had to exit to the main menu and then get back on in order for it to fix, so this was minor in comparison to other glitches like falling through the map randomly (which happened to me once during my play through of Far Cry 4 :p)

2. The Language - This is just a little peeve of mine, but I wish that the Na'vi, at least when talking amongst themselves and to us, spoke in Na'vi. Like, if Ubisoft could record a whole 'nother language for Far Cry Primal, they could have done it here. And I also wish that the animals, especially the Palulukan, were referred to by it's Na'vi names rather then human names.

3. The Main Character's Name - This is minor really, but I don't like how we are not given a name. Like, I get that it's fun coming up with names for our original character, but it's a bit isolating to only be referred to as 'the Sarentu'.

Not only does it make it seem like our identity as a member of a respected clan matters more then our identity as our own complex individual, but it feels weird when you read notes and listen to audio logs about the other Sarentu kids and not one thing about us, especially when Alma talks about how they're acclimation to life in the Resistance. Like how we're developing doesn't matter at all in comparison to how Ri'nela is coming into the role of leader and Tsahìk.

Not even a mention of our relation to Aha'ri when she writes about her murder and how it could be affecting us.

Like, just a gender-neutral name to tie things in, like Dani in Far Cry 6, would go a long way to make our character feel like a part of the story and not just a nameless side character doing all the hard work, like the Rookie from Far Cry 5.

4. The Villain - This is more of a 'meh' thing for me. Like yeah, Mercer was an asshole, but again, pulling from Far Cry here, who had amazing, complex villains like Vaas Montenegro or Pagan Min, and what we get is... a entitled, racist narcissist whose barely there, and therefore we get zero from this guy. He was more annoying then anything, like literally every time he talk, my eyes rolled into the back of my skull.

Like, could you imagine if AFOP made Mercer like Pagan Min, the tyrant king of Kyrat who had a relationship with Ajay Ghale's mother to the point where he was sympathetic to the loss of his mother. Pagan Min would just randomly call Ajay on his radio like an eccentric father-figure, and in two endings of the game, he'll actually help you out, taking you to Lakshamana so that you can place your mother's ashes beside her, just like she wanted, which is very generous considering that in one of those endings, it's after you lead a massive rebellion right to his door-step, taking out his generals and so-on! (Pagan is my favourite Far Cry villain is you haven't figured that, Vaas is a close second)

If you gave Mercer that kind of depth, then maybe you can actually understand why Teylan would believe Mercer wouldn't hurt anybody when he gave the location of the Resistance Base away.

Harding as well was mediocre. Just a hard-as-nails general that's running a pouching operation on the side. Like, if you made her even a fraction of insane like you did Vaas, I could actually be into it.

So anyway, on to the pros!

1. The Gameplay - I know people moaned about the mechanics being too similar to Far Cry, but honestly, that was what drew me to it when I first saw the trailer for it! Far Cry is my favourite first-person shooter franchise (Far Cry 4 and Far Cry Primal being my favourites). The crafting of weapons, the hunting for food, skins and ingredients and the little things what made it unique was amazing to me,

The hunting was a pain, because half the time (for me anyway) I could almost never get a clean kill for the smaller or quick-moving animals, but I think it was done super well. When you hit an animal in the old Far Cry games, they either just drop dead or run away and bleed out quietly. But here, when it's an unclean kill, the animal squirms and writhes in pain before succumbing to it's wounds, really driving in the whole point of the Na'vi way of life (that's how I saw it anyway).

And the Memory Paintings, though tedious at most times, was another fun and unique mechanic to the game and felt very Na'vi to me and I enjoyed concentrating on them all and hearing the MC's interpretations of the Memory Paintings and the Sarentu Totems.

And the moments when you're flying on your Ikran or Pa'li made me feel like I was in an RPG, like Horizon, so that was a nice little touch. It was like they mashed two of my favorite games into one.

And in the end, it's not the gameplay that makes me play the game. It's the story.

2. The Harmful Effects of the RDA - There was not a minute within this story where it's quests and stories didn't resonate with me.

How the Kinglor of the Aranahe forest was displaced by the RDA's actions, giving us a Yellowstone situation where a key member of the ecosystem was being pushed out and it was causing all sorts of problems for the local flora and fauna.

The aforementioned poaching in Zeswa territory, where the Zakru were being hunted and killed for their tusks and how even their long deceased skeletons were being pilfered, very similar to elephant and rhino poaching, especially as Zakru are sacred animals to the Zeswa.

And then the Yavä, the green fog that brought sickness to the Kame'tire, something that happened, by the way, because the RDA disposed of the Sarentu's bodies by using caustic chemicals!!! (like, what the FUCK, Alma!) but anyway, is very reminiscent to the diseases that European settlers brought in to the native populace, who never had to build up immune systems for it and suffered because of it.

What I'm getting at here, is how big of a problem the RDA is, not just for going to war with Jake and the Omaticaya, but also by causing the exact same problems that people did on Earth and are still doing to Earth. In so many, seemingly innocuous way, the RDA are negatively effecting the ecosystem, the wildlife and the locals in their pursuit of a paycheck that, realistically, would never be able to use until they get off planet, and that is if they don't die on an alien moon because of all those problems.

3. The Efforts of the Resistance

Every time I got to talk with the Resistance members was a highlight for me. I truly do not understand how some people don't like Priya. I found her adorable, and she gave me Penelope Garcia vibes from Criminal Minds. And her budding romance with Resistance Pilot Anqa, whose history with incursion on her desert homeland inspired her to take action against the RDA.

Or Hajir's regrets for playing part in the Severeds origins, concluding how they are in a constant state of anger and sadness.

Or Billy, who break-dances as he's helping you escape imprisonment, before sacrificing himself to save what's left of the Resistance.

And then there's the Na'vi Clans that I just loved and each and every one of it's characters had me giddy. The playful old grandmother in Nefika and her immediate action to take us in and show us around the Hometree, the Zeswa sisters and their rightous anger over the poaching, the eccentricities of Okul and their faith in the Kame'tire's tradtions.

Honestly I could go on and on about every single character in this game. Nalin and her tentative offer to fill in the void of mother during the party, the Burden Carrier and the Milk Crafter who got drunk off their ass, saying the zakru can fly while we're trying to warn them of impending danger and Mosaka, who not only gave our clan's location away to the RDA, but used their deaths to manipulate his way into power and control over the clan by framing Anufi for their demise. (BTW, fuck you Mosaka)

That's all I got for now, but once the DLCs come in, I am defiantly playing through the whole game again and I may come back to this post with an update when that happens, along with my stance on said DLCs.

So, hope your all having a good day and buh-bye!

#Avatar: Frontiers of Pandora #na'vi #john mercer #general harding #teylan #the sarentu #ikran #the rda suck #the aranahe #the zeswa #the kame'tire #zakru #alma cortez #jake sully #the omaticaya #earth

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paranoidpoltergeist · 2 years

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Starscream is genuinely such a tragic character because as much as he's just kinda crazy every iteration has something that just makes u feel so bad for him.

IDW Starscream is something I couldn't scrape the surface of if you gave me 107 days. G1 Starscream's is not only mainly just used for comic relief the poor guy, but he lost his partner who then turns around and in his eyes betrays him. I mean Skyfire had every right to go "what in the fuc" and dip but the fact he went with Starscream in the first place tells me that somewhere along the way something happened to make him go coocoo.

In prime he was seemingly manipulated into joining the Decepticons and then constantly talked down to. From my perspective it honestly just seemed like Starscream was after praise or recognition which he never gets, now if this is because Megatron's a dick or because of the dark energon idk. I mean he kept the Decepticons afloat the entire time Megatron was gone chasing what was by all accounts a myth and did more then we saw Megs do THE ENTIRE SERIES. He managed to kill an Autobot, we never actually see any casualties and they've got a steady flow of energon.

I mean even in RID his main goal was to just kill Megs and tbh if I'd been beat down over everything I did, even if it was wrong bc I personally thought it was the right way to go about it, I'd be majorly pissed too. Yeah he wants control of the Decepticons but(and feel free to correct me if I'm wrong it's been a very long time since I've watched prime) I only remember him actually attempting to kill Megatron once or twice. Sure he was self serving but just bc he wants respect.

Bayverse Starscream was just the saddest thing I've ever seen. He could breathe and Megatron was drop kicking him off a building, didn't even get to be the treacherous sic jeez💀

Dude the WFC Trilogy was so wild idek how to word it so kind of a take on his character as a whole here. It was weird and characterizations were way off but I actually liked Starscream. He was still the guy we know and love but with a neat twist. He still had that tragic feeling to him especially getting traumatized and all but Dinobot telling him everything he went through wasn't an excuse to hurt other people was just *chefs kiss* bc it's really not. As tragic as Stars character is it's not an excuse for him to hurt the people around him. I mean no matter how bad I can feel for Prime Screamer he still used and manipulated everyone around him(Knockout for one). This is in no way me trying to justify or make him a good guy, a character can be tragic while still being a bad person. Somebody get him in therapy lol.

Oh man and don't get me started on the Unicron Trilogy Starscream. Probably the most tragic of them all, poor guy did not deserve any of Megatrons abuse. Allow me to let him speak for himself "I tried to gain favor from you, but nothing was ever good enough. No matter how many battles I fought, you always found fault." He really just wanted recognition, he literally sacrificed himself just so Megatron could get it through his thick head he needed to team up with the Autobots, and I recently had someone point out to me Starscream probably could have done some damage to Unicron with Swindle but he knew he was gonna die and he didn't wanna drag his mini-con down with him. Just ow.

Animated Screamer was just wild idek what he was on I can't defend him lmao bro opens the show trying and almost succeeded in killing Megan. I'd comment on Cyberverse if I could but I haven't actually got to watching that yet whoops. I feel like I remember seeing a clip of him talking about wanting the respect he deserved which honestly could have been his ego talking or really sad idk, but back to what I was originally saying.

Almost every time he shows up and you pay him any attention besides comic relief he's a super tragic character and it's not only what makes him one of my favorite but it makes me sad when I see people completely disregard everything but whats on the barest of surface levels. I feel like that's all Micheal Bay did he remembered Star being comic relief and so thats all he was. He's like an onion for lack of a better analogy, got a million layers, might make u cry, and you either love him or hate him. He could be such a compelling interesting character like with IDW but no one wants to look below the surface AND I GET IT 9/10 were literal children's shows so they're forgiven but Micheal Bay is on my hit list for that one.

edit: bro if this makes absolutely zero sense I literally wrote and posted this at 3am and then just scheduled it at a normal time for reasons I'm not actually 100% on so sorry💀

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kingmaxstatic · 10 months

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After seeing your post about the new ugly helluva design I looked it up and felt like I was reenacting "what, it's just its just an ordinary desiOH MY GOODNESS"

There is. So much to talk about when it comes to Beelzebub's design.

(Strap in cause this is a long one)

Let me start off with one thing I actually LIKE about the design. The colors are good. They're appealing and I'll admit that. But generally speaking the cons outweigh the pros. (pun intended considering she's supposed to be the princess of gluttony).

SO LET'S GET TO THOSE CONS SHALL WE?

First off let's get this addressed. Her design is a cluttered NIGHTMARE. It feels like there were a lot of things that people "liked" as little details and instead of picking and choosing they just. MASHED them together to make this character. Like while looking at her face I noticed a few things. A lot of things. From her freckles to her second eyebrows to her- you get it. There is WAY too much going on.

I genuinely cannot tell what's going on with her hair. Why does she have two different types of hair. SPEAKING OF HAIR her jelly hair is so fucking complex. There are ways this can be done WELL but this ain't it. Like for example look at Luna and Celestia from MLP.

The reason why these design work is because both the hair and character are not super complex. The hair is the HIGHLIGHT of both of the designs.

Did Vivzie really just decide "I'm going to make a character that's soooo hard to animate."?

We haven't even touched on the motifs yet good GOD.

So Beelzebub is meant to have bee motifs/be a bee (not sure on which yet). So yeah we have a Vaggie situation all over again where the character is VAUGELY using bug motifs. As in you have to grandma meme squint to see those bits. Like i'll admit the antenna ear is pretty cool. But good god everything else just looks like such a mess.

Also did I mention she's meant to be the ruler of the GLUTTONY ring?

Yeah she's meant to be Gluttony given form. But look at her. What about her design says "Food" or "Gluttony"????

Like food based outfits can be super fun to design. I have no idea what their deal was with this. The ONLY thing they did was give her the lava lamp stomach which only manages to clutter her design even MORE. If they really wanted to give her a lava lamp stomach they could've done it in a way that didn't have like. 3 colors in it, complicating the design even more.

She looks like she'd flit more with lust than she does gluttony not going to lie. Like the heart on her chest is a really DEFINED subject. If they really wanted to make her look "tempting" they could've done it and made it fit with the theming.

Simply put: when I see her I don't think "Gluttony" or "Bee" I think "Yellow wolf lady." and that doesn't make for a good design. A design needs to have reason. Like for example if you have a character that fights a lot you'd add things like scars or something. Things that show damage. It shows "Wow! This character has been in a fight or two before!". Another example: if you have a character that lives in a cold area they'll typical wear thicker clothing. You see what I mean? Typically a design is meant to show one of two things.

1. What the character is.

or 2. What they're like.

Let me use foxy as an example. (Jumpscare for people scrolling/j)

Foxy right? He's a pirate. How can you tell that? Through his eyepatch and his hook! Classic pirate stuff! You can ALSO tell he's out of order from the damage on his body. The tears in him and his visible endo legs. He's pretty busted up and you can tell why he's out of order. You can ALSO tell he's a fox! He's got the cheek fluff, he's red, he's got them sharp ears! 10/10 fox. Can comprehend he's a fox.

The problem with Bee's design is that you can't really.. get a grasp on the what she is.

We've basically covered the basics of character design so we've swam in pretty deep so I think I'll cut this post here. AS A TREAT since you've made it thus far, weary traveler, I've made my own design of Beelzebub!

#helluva critical #helluva boss criticism #helluva critique #helluva criticism

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imstillhere-butallislost · 4 months

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Testosterone gel vs shots, and why I switched

Testosterone gel is gel that is applied topically to your body, and I was on this for over a year.

In September, I switched to intramuscular injections done once weekly.

I'm going to explain my dosage and why I switched methods! This may not apply to you, this is my specific experience.

I was very happy with testosterone gel when I started. I was on 1% gel, starting at one pump and moving to 2 pumps. Each pump was 12.5 mg of testosterone I believe.

Gel was really easy to begin with. You have to keep it and the area you apply it on your body away from animals and children and others who might not want extra testosterone on them, but this was not a problem with me. The gel is daily. This helps if you need to do something daily to get it into your routine.

The gel also takes very little time to put on, it is the same consistency of hand sanitizer. It's honestly really foolproof to use, it's very easy and consistent. I noticed some changes within the first couple of weeks! (I have a timeline posted on this blog)

The gel also gives you a very consistent dose of hormones each day, which was definitely good for my mental health.

The cons of gel for me started around summer when It was warmer and putting on gel and then wearing long sleeves over it just was not fun. Going hand in hand with this i also got a boyfriend and did not want to get gel on him accidentally.

The daily nature of the gel also wasn't helpful if I was going to stay the night somewhere because I would need to bring a bottle of gel if I wanted to put it on first thing in the morning, or I could do it when I got home but risk forgetting to do it. Daily gel became a slight hassle with my new routines.

Gel was also so so so very expensive. I'm in Canada and have no insurance. The gel was around 200 dollars monthly.

My levels were also not where I wanted them to be on the gel. This may have been solved if I went on a higher dose, but the higher dose would cost more money that I do not have. This may not apply to you if you have insurance. Male testosterone levels are between 10-35 nmol/l. I was at 3 nmol/l after over a year on testosterone.

For the shots, I've been on intramuscular shots since September. I take .25ml every week. There is 50mg of testosterone in each injection.

My levels have already went up into the male range although I haven't experienced many further changes yet. I'm at 23 nmol/L.

I only have to worry about doing my shot one day a week, and I could have chosen to have those farther apart but I feel like my mental health would suffer if I did them too far apart.

I don't have to worry about gel rubbing off onto anyone or anything like that.

I pay nothing for my testosterone as my local insurance covers it.

The WORST part about doing the injections is... actually doing the injections. It hurts sometimes, and the times it doesn't I'm anxious about it hurting. It's stabbing a needle into your own body, it's difficult.

This makes the shots unpredictable. Unlike the gel, the shots can hurt sometimes and not other times. If predictability is important to you, maybe don't go for shots.

I do understand that the more you do it the better you will get at choosing the correct spot to inject, but for me it's been really hard not knowing if I'm going to be in a lot of pain or if it will not hurt at all. I'm not even a person who is afraid of needles or pain, it's just hard to do it to your self. That being said, it has never been so bad that I've missed an injection before.

That's all I got for now, ask me any questions you need too!!

#t gel #testosterone gel #testosterone #hrt #ftm #ftm hrt #testosterone shots #t shot #hope this helps anybody #Dan talks

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sarahowritesostucky · 4 months

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📖"Body Heat" : A Snowpiercer-Marvel Mashup Story

Part 2 - "A Microcosm of Humanity, Boiled Down to its Base Elements" (Wait! I haven't read Part 1 yet!)

Rated: Explicit

Pairing: Curtis Everett x ofc

Tags: dystopia, food insecurity, post apocalypse, age difference (18/34), dark!fic, implied/referenced suicide, background character death (offscreen), poverty, arranged marriage, implied/referenced past cannibalism, hurt/comfort, attempted rape, dub-con

Summary: Curtis stops a would-be assailant in the wash car. Still worried for Rose's safety, he brings her back to his bunk to sleep.

Author's Note: This fic is dark. This chapter includes explicit, non-gory mentions of: past cannibalism, the consumption of rat meat, and a character who attempts to rape another character but is stopped just in time. 🖤DNI if you can't handle it 🖤

Part 2 - "A Microcosm of Humanity, Boiled Down to its Base Elements"

Mealtimes in the Tail are more about social interaction than they are about food—Kind of hard to have a dinner party when the only things there are to feast on are protein blocks and a meat that you’re pretending is chicken, after all. But they make due.

They have dishes now, at least. A couple hundred plastic bowls and cafeteria cups, dimpled and chipped at the rims, but still serviceable. They’re some of the newer amenities, part of the package that the council negotiated for in last year’s talks. It’s never much but it’s something, brings them just a smidge closer to being able to live like human beings, rather than animals.

It’s been twelve years, and still they’re celebrating over bowls when they should be aiming for antibiotics. But conditions were so miserable after Boarding that even the smallest concession from uptrain feels like a luxury now. Curtis would prefer the progress be faster, but he’s not in charge. He’s Gillam’s second in command, and Gillam’s so old and frail now. After the turmoil of the Year Two (and Three, and Five) Revolts, Curtis made him a tacit promise to not resort to such violent measures again lightly. For now, negotiated castoffs and increased recyclables from uptrain will have to do.

He doesn’t see Rose again for the rest of the afternoon. Four hundred people living in a metal box tend to brew discontent and interpersonal problems over the tiniest of things, and as one of the Tail’s five elected, a big chunk of Curtis’ days are spent solving petty conflicts between the Tailies. He navigates his way through a list of waiting disputes in the market car and in the bunks, making his rulings on what’s fair, and trying not to worry obsessively over Rose and where she is and how she may be doing and who may be bothering her.

But he’s not entirely successful, because something still loosens in his chest when he catches sight of her—looking peaceful and sitting quietly alone at dinnertime. He walks over, grinning the closer he gets as she continues not to notice his approach. “Hey Petal!” he whisper-yells right beside her as he taps her shoulder and sinks down to sit next to her on the floor.

She gasps and almost drops her bowl, but a relieved smile splits her face when she sees that it’s him. “Curtis! Hey. It’s you.”

“Course it’s me.” He frowns quizzically at just how relieved she looks. “Who’d you think it was?”

“Nobody,” she excuses quickly, shaking her head and inching over to make more room for him. “Just glad to see you, is all. Today’s been … long.”

“Yeah,” he agrees. “Did you get the clothes to Gilliam?”

Her smile softens and she nods. “Yeah. And the arm to Coulson.” She gestures down the car to where Phil is sitting, using the rudimentary limb with clumsiness but steadfast determination. “He has to practice, but I think it’s gonna work pretty well for him.”

“I’ll bet.” Curtis smiles, happy for him. Phil’s also one of the elected, and along with Gilliam, Curtis, The (recently deceased) Man, and Banner, he’s always done his best to help the people in the Tail survive. That’s why he’s currently missing his arm from just above the elbow.

Curtis remembers the taste of human flesh. He wishes he didn’t, but he does. And what’s more, he wishes it’d tasted worse than it had, wishes he didn’t have the memory of how his mouth had watered when he’d finally gotten to eat for the first time in over a week. He averts his eyes from Coulson, ashamed, setting his bowl on the floor and sliding his right hand up under his left coat sleeve to trace the jagged evidence of his own failure.

It hadn’t tasted bad. That’s something he’s never said out loud. Because it’s too shameful. Talking about the early days isn’t forbidden, per say, but there’s an understanding amongst the Tailies that you don’t discuss the actual experience of eating human flesh. Unless it’s in private with someone very, very close to you, you don’t talk about the worst things that went down in those days.

Curtis glances back to Phil, wondering. He doesn’t actually know who he’s eaten. Back in the Desperation, there had been a decision amongst the volunteers that their donations would be mingled and prepared anonymously, to avoid people knowing—even family members, even the donors themselves. Curtis gets lost in the horror of the memory for a minute or two as he stares across the car at Phil, wondering, remembering the taste …

He snaps out of it when Rose says something to him, and he realizes that he’s still got his right hand stuck up his left coat sleeve, touching the scar. Rose’s voice pulls him out of it, like a fog suddenly lifting, and Curtis hastily picks his bowl back up, asking Rose to repeat herself and then mustering a cheerful answer for her as he puts the memories of the past back in the box on the shelf in his mind.

He and Rose sit shoulder to shoulder and converse over their bowls of stew. It’s one of only a few things that Tailies ever have to eat, and it consists of broth made from cooked down protein blocks, and chunks of meat from the only other animal that shares the tail section with them.

Yeah, they eat rats. Curtis has stopped caring at this point. In fact, he’s not sure he ever really cared in the first place. Once you start with cannibalism, the only way to go is up. And it doesn’t taste too bad—especially since they’ve graduated from catching the rats to actually breeding them in cages. Between that and the artificial salt substitute that Curtis negotiated as part of last year’s package, things have a nicer flavor to them than they used to.

“Didn’t you work in the kitchen car for a hot second?” he says between one sip and another, when he’s paused to try and use his fingernail to get a stringy bit of meat out from between his teeth. “What’d Wanda have you and MJ doing in there?”

Rose makes a face. “There're only a couple steps to making this slop, Curtis. Use your imagination.”

He laughs at the comical shudder she gives, and she kicks him for laughing at her. “So dramatic,” he teases. “What do you have to compare it to, anyway, huh?” He rolls his eyes. “Train babies. Don’t realize how good you have it.”

She gasps and pokes him as though he’s heaved a grave insult at her. “I am not a train baby!”

“Barely.”

“I’m eighteen!” she says, as if that makes her a full fledged adult. “I remember food from Before,” she insists, and Curtis shakes his head in amusement at her.

“Fine. What do you remember?” He’s breaking one of his own rules for her, talking about Before. It should alarm him but it doesn’t. “What food?” he taunts.

She sticks her chin out haughtily and thinks about it, before declaring, “Goldfish. And noodles. I remember noodles.”

It takes all Curtis has inside him not to snicker at her expense. He does want this girl to like him, after all. He looks down at his own bowl of stew and smiles fondly. “Goldfish crackers and noodles. That’s very specific.” The kind of thing a young child would remember. “Is that all?”

She twists her lips and admits, “Yeah.”

You have blocked a lot of it out, Curtis thinks sadly. Just not the parts that happened after Boarding. “It’s better that way,” he tells her. “Makes all of this more bearable.” Rose has never really had a life that was anything other than “bearable,” and while that is something of a mercy for her, it also makes Curtis want to be the one to give her more; be the one to introduce her to finery and pleasure, show her what it can taste like, what it can feel like. “There’s things I want to get for us,” he tells her, speaking quietly because he doesn’t need the people nearby overhearing and getting themselves worked up. “Things for the Tail, food I want to negotiate for. I think this might be the year.”

Rose looks intrigued. “What?”

“Lean closer,” Curtis whispers. “This is top secret.”

She smirks and scootches even closer to him, until they’re pressed together from hip to shoulder. “What?” she whispers.

Curtis looks her in the eye and lets the tension build for a moment, trying his damnedest to keep his expression serious, and then he declares, “Goldfish and noodles.”

She gives an outraged squawk and swats at him for making fun of her, though she’s laughing herself. “You suck!”

Curtis stays her hand, pulling her into a one-armed hug and apologizing through his own laughter. “Wait, wait, wait. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Shh. I’ll tell you.” He calms down from laughing. “I’ll tell you, I will.”

“Jerk,” she mutters, but he can hear the fondness in her voice.

“Chickens,” he whispers in her ear. “You remember those?”

She purses her lips thoughtfully, then shrugs in a way that tells him she really doesn’t. “That’s an animal,” she says, in what she doesn’t realize is a sad demonstration of her limited knowledge. “A bird.”

“Yeah,” Curtis says. “Yeah it is. You know the New Year’s eggs?” Every year since Year Five, a wheelbarrow from uptrain arrives on New Year’s Day bearing the coveted gift of hundreds of gleaming white, hard-boiled eggs—one for each blasted soul who lives trapped in the Tail section. Rose hums and Curtis nods. “Those come from chickens. They lay the eggs and you can eat them. It’s a good source of food. And you can kill the chickens and eat them, too. Eat their meat.”

“But … don’t baby chickens come from the eggs?” Rose asks naively.

Curtis smirks. “Yeah, but that’s when they’re fertilized. If a male chicken isn’t around fucking the hens, then the eggs just come out, and you can eat ‘em. They don’t have baby chicks in them.” He watches Rose’s face screw up at the stark visual, and is surprised when she bluntly declares,

“Oh. So … like a period, with us.”

Curtis almost swallows his tongue. First of all, he wouldn’t have expected Rose to be able to make the comparison. Because she may be old enough to bleed, but they don’t exactly have comprehensive sex ed in the Tail. As far as Curtis knows, the girls are taught young—very young—what sex is, what it leads to, and how to avoid it at all costs. Curtis doesn’t think he’s heard a person talk openly about these things since before Boarding. It just isn’t done. The women handle their stuff themselves, and the men have their heads bitten off if they interfere.

“Um,” he says, face heating. “Yeah, I guess. Except you don't lay eggs." Rose snorts and Curtis winces and scratches awkwardly behind his ear. “So anyway, I want to get us some chickens. If we had those, it’d help a lot.”

Rose stares pensively into the depths of her soup bowl, with its globulous broth and stringy bits of meat. “It’d taste better than this?”

Curtis scoffs. “Most things do, Petal.”

“Jeez, you’re really sticking with that, aren’t you?”

He wraps an arm around her shoulders and gives her a squeeze, laying out his vision for the future. “I want to negotiate for another car. With dirt and chickens.”

“Dirt?”

“Yeah. They grow things uptrain. Crops. We could too. We could raise chickens in half of it, grow potatoes in the other half.”

Rose looks at him like he’s just announced he’ll be negotiating for the moon. “They’ll never give it to you,” she whispers. “Why would they?”

“If I could threaten them with something big enough. We might have the bargaining power.”

“What would you threaten them with?”

He smiles sadly and squeezes her shoulder. “I dunno. That’s what I’ve gotta figure out.”

“But you’re not gonna … I mean there’s not going to be another war, is there? Not like before …”

There’s genuine fear in her voice when she asks, which makes Curtis feel like crap. Everyone had suffered back then. Many had died. He thinks about how Rose would’ve only been eleven or so, during the Year Five Rebellion. Just a kid, still playing with the crummy little doll Curtis made for her. “No, Hon,” he promises gently. “No. There are other ways. Other things we can do to gain leverage. It just takes time.”

“What ways?”

He shakes his head and smiles. “Don’t worry about it.”

“I can’t help it,” she pouts. “I may not know many things. But I like to know them.”

He smiles fondly. “I know, Petal. You’re curious. Always have been. You like to 'know the scuttlebutt', as they say. You’re not afraid to ask questions. I like that about you.”

“You do?”

“... Among other things.” He sees her cheeks color prettily, and realizes he’d better stop talking. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“I’d tell you if I could, but these things are above your paygrade. Me and Gilliam’ll figure it out.” He shoots her a wink. “That’s why they pay us the big bucks.”

She titters at that, because they both know that there’s no such thing as money in the Tail. Oh there’s currency, for sure, just not the kind that’s handed over as stacks of bills. Curtis lets his eyes drag over the few parts of Rose’s body that he can see: her attractive face and the slope of her neck, the delicate suggestion of a collar bone where it peeks out before it’s swallowed up by her sweater. He looks away. “I want to improve things for us. Change is possible. There are things we can get. We just have to work for it.”

“What things?” she presses, leaning closer.

He thinks about brushing her off, but he can see that she’s genuinely curious, and the interested gleam in her eyes sways him. Because ideas can mean hope, and he wants her to have hope. They’ve both seen what can happen when there isn’t any.

He tells her about the basic medicines and medical supplies that could be useful, tells her about the items they could receive if people uptrain were more willing to bargain. “More castoffs would go to us, instead of into the recycling machines,” he tells her. While it is true that some old and unwanted items eventually make their way into the Tailies’ “market,” the sad fact is that many more materials are cleansed, disintegrated, and recycled for use through the train’s 3d printing machines. Curtis has never seen them, but due to his yearly talks with a woman named Melanie, he now knows that they exist, and they’re why not much gets sent back to the Tailies.

“We’d have more clothes, toys and books, all sorts of new things.” Of course when he says “new” he only means new in the sense of new to them. To people in the front, Tailies are second class citizens at best, subhumans at worst. The funny thing is, Curtis doesn’t take offense at it like he used to. He’s learned by now that it’s human nature to kill, cheat and steal, clamoring all over each other whenever resources are limited. They’ve literally eaten the weak in the Tail, after all. It’d be hypocritical to hold the first class passengers to a higher standard.

No, Snowpiercer is just a microcosm of humanity boiled down to its base elements. Nine-hundred people surviving on a miserable little train, barreling endlessly around the frozen corpse of the planet. Of course there’s going to be subjugation of the weak so that others can have more. Curtis doesn’t hold it against them anymore, but he sure as hell isn’t going to take it lying down. The Tailies were never ticketed passengers. They forced their way on, they scraped and scrounged and earned their survival. And if they ever get the chance, they’ll turn the tables on the passengers uptrain in a heartbeat. Curtis makes speeches about “leveling the playing field,” but he doesn’t have visions of utopia. Not really. He just wants to die in a feather bed.

“What would we have after chickens?” Rose asks, drawing Curtis out of his gloom. She knows as well as he does, what the definition of a 'pipe dream' is, but it’s fun to pretend with someone you like, and Curtis likes her. Always has. He likes that she hasn’t turned grey and dull like everyone else in the Tail. So he indulges her 'what ifs' and they continue to tease each other over various colorful and increasingly stupid imaginings: how they’ll have potatoes, and then beef, then televisions, bathtubs, a swimming pool.

At some point, Curtis realizes that he’s actually managed to make her smile, and giggle. Even sitting on a cold steel floor slurping at a bowl of rat and god-knows-what stew, he feels like a king knowing he was able to do that. “You’re really beautiful when you smile,” he blurts out, soaking up the way that her eyes get just a little bit wider and her lips part in surprise. He averts his attention back down to his bowl, pleased as punch. “‘Course, I always think you’re beautiful,” he murmurs, fully intending for her to hear.

She gets quiet after that, bashful and seemingly deep in thought. Curtis doesn’t worry though, because when everybody settles in to listen to that night’s story, she goes to fetch one of the blankets off her bunk and brings it back. She plops herself right back down next to Curtis and hands him a corner of the blanket to wrap it around both of their shoulders. He obliges. The assembly car fills up for that night’s entertainment, and just before the lights are dimmed down to their lowest level, Curtis locks eyes with Tanya from across the car, who’s shooting him a scrutinizing look. He’s grateful to escape her judgment for the moment, but he knows she’ll be on him before long.

They set out the tall stool at the head of the car, and Painter, the Tail’s historian, climbs up and settles on it.

A quiet man of short stature, Painter’s been performing the nightly stories since almost from the very beginning. He has a way of seeing things that others don’t, a way of weaving words and details together in graduating, elaborative cadence; like his drawings, like strings on a loom, always managing to convey the true heart of a matter in a way that resonates with people. It’s the closest thing to watching a movie any of them will probably ever get again, and in Curtis’ opinion it has just as much value as the food they feed their bodies with. People need more than just food to survive. They need community, they need love, they need hope.

Painter sits silently at first—a sign that he hasn’t decided on the topic and is taking suggestions that night. Someone calls out in the dimness to suggest The Man for tonight’s story, and a murmur of general agreement goes through the crowd. Up ahead on his stool, Painter nods. The Man was well known in the Tail, having long-served on Gillam’s council, among other things. Curtis hadn’t been lying to Rose, when he’d said that her father had been a good leader.

In the crook of his arm, he feels her shift subtly. Aware that this might be hard for her, he leans over and kisses the top of her head. “Hey, are you okay?” he whispers, giving her the option. “You want to go?” But she shakes her head and tucks herself further into him, so Curtis relaxes back, looking forward to getting to hold her in his arms for the next hour or two.

Painter does The Man justice. Children are always kept in another car during storytime, so that the plotlines don’t have to be watered down for their sensibilities, but even still, Curtis doesn’t doubt that Painter knows Rose is present, because he takes care to soften the corners of the story where she features, and to use gentle words when the most painful memories are fleshed out.

For over an hour, Curtis lets his eyes slip closed and the words wash over him. He tucks his nose into Rose’s hair and breathes the scent of her in, holding her small, soft body against him. He can feel every shift and sway that she gives as she hears the story, too, and they enjoy their time together, connecting over the shared intimacy of Painter’s words.

At some point, he brings her into his lap, and she comes so easily—like she was just waiting for the invitation, and is relieved that he wants her there. This isn’t something they’ve done before. Not like this. And he can tell by the slight tension in her body that she knows it, too. This is new. It could be the first time a man has ever showed her attention like this, and Curtis wants it to be good and easy for her. He gently rubs her back as the story stretches on, relieved when he can feel all the tension slowly leaving her. “Good girl,” he whispers against her hair.

She hums and rubs her cheek on his chest with complete trust, and Curtis suddenly remembers what it used to feel like to sink into a full, hot bath. Is this what it means to be touch starved? he wonders. Probably. It’s been so long since he’s been genuinely intimate with another person, that he’d almost forgotten the feeling.

Eventually he can hear the tone of Painter’s words changing, can hear it all coming to a close as he wraps up his retelling of that night’s story. Curtis has never hated anything more. Please, he thinks. Please let him keep going. Let him keep talking just a little bit longer so she’ll stay in my arms. He doesn’t want to let her go.

… Maybe if he plays his cards right, he won’t have to.

Tanya does confront him that night, cornering him by her spot before he can follow after Rose on her path to the wash car. “Pretty sure that girl knows how to bathe herself,” she says, hand planted firmly on Curtis’ chest. “She doesn’t need you, Curtis.”

Curtis loses sight of Rose going into the next bunk car, and he settles back onto his heels, glaring at Tanya. “I’m trying to look out for her.”

Tanya raises an unimpressed eyebrow at him. “You sure that’s all you’re trying to do?”

Curtis’s eyes narrow. “Have you been paying attention? Look around.” He nods at the crowded bunk car around them and speaks in a hushed tone. “You’re in charge of all the female stuff, you should know better than anyone what’ll happen now that her father’s gone. I’m only trying to protect her.”

Tanya purses her lips. “Uh huh. Protect her with your penis, is that how?”

“Jesus.” Curtis takes a step back, crossing his arms in frustration. He leans back against a metal rail. “I’m just being realistic,” he eventually says, after sulking over it for a moment. He respects Tanya—she’s a crucial part of the Tail, helping the women who get pregnant and give birth, helping the girls when they start developing (and, eventually, when they start attracting the attention of the men). “You’ve seen them looking?” he asks, not having to look at Tanya to know that she understands him. “So what am I supposed to do? Just wait until somebody else stakes their claim?”

Tanya makes an angry sound, though it isn’t directed at Curtis. “I stop them.”

“You stop the ones you can,” Curtis says lowly. “But eventually—”

“Eventually is eventually. Right now is right now,” she hisses.

Curtis turns back to her. “We play it your way and the first guy who stakes his claim gets her. That’s how it works. You know that. Is that what you want, huh?” Tanya’s face works in frustration, and Curtis softens. “Hey,” he says, placing a consoling hand on her shoulder. “I don’t like it either. We do the best we can with what we have.” He feels her shoulders rise and fall in a beleaguered sigh.

“I boxed Batroc’s ears last week,” she tells him; her way of giving tacit approval. “Keep an eye on that dirtbag.”

Curtis nods. He’s aware of who the biggest threats are, currently. It’s the men in their twenties and thirties who prey on the up and coming girls. Marriage isn’t a thing in the tail so much as claiming is. The men have a sort of ‘first dibs’ honor system that Curtis despises, but that he can’t change on his own. Not when the majority is so set on it. “I’m not going to force her,” he promises Tanya. “Okay? I’ll give her the choice. You know I will.”

Tanya’s jaw works, but eventually she nods and turns to the side to let him pass. Curtis pats her shoulder in thanks and heads off in the direction that Rose went with her towel.

He gets there just a few seconds too late—or at least, that’s what he thinks when he hears her crying out from the women’s side of the wash car. Curtis barrels around the partition, heedless of whoever else may be in there when he can hear Rose in distress.

There’s a man standing at her back, pushing her face up against the wall of one of the stalls. She’s naked, the shower spraying aimlessly not even a foot away. She’s struggling, crying … and the man’s pants are halfway down his thighs.

Curtis sees red. “Get the fuck off her!”

Everything happens in a blur: him pulling the man back by his shirt and throwing him onto the floor at the opposite side of the car, the man’s head hitting the wall, Rose crying out in fear, Curtis going over to gather her naked body into his arms. “Are you okay?” he asks breathlessly, holding her as she sobs and presses her head of soaked hair against him. His hands slide over the water-slicked skin of her back, his heart in his throat. “Did he hurt you?”

She sobs and shakes her head, clinging to him. “Curtis!”

“Shh, you’re okay. It’s okay. I’ve got you.” He looks across the car at the man, who’s now rubbing his head with a pained wince. Curtis feels rage consume him and he has no control over his actions as he abandons Rose by the stall and stalks across the car to punch the guy square in the face. He immediately grabs his shirt collar and hauls him back in. “Who the fuck do you think you are?!” he roars.

“Stop!” the man—a guy Curtis knows only as Hodge—coughs out, speaking through blood and what’s likely a broken nose. He holds up his hands to defend himself from further assault, and Curtis shakes him with a furious growl.

“Did you touch her?! What did you do? I’ll kill you!”

“I didn’t!” Hodge coughs, pushing against Curtis. “I didn’t do anything! I was just—”

Curtis slams him back into the wall of the car. “Then why’s your dick out?!” Hodge sinks down the wall to the floor and Curtis follows him down. “Answer me!”

“I just wanted to talk to her!”

He’s about to reach down and rip this guy’s nuts off, but Rose calling to him from the other side of the car draws his attention away: “Curtis, please. Curtis!” She’s standing there—naked, wet and shivering, futilely trying to cover herself. She looks at him pleadingly through her tears. “He didn’t. You stopped him. He didn’t.”

It’s enough to make Curtis rein himself in from further violence. Rose needs him more than he needs to hurt Hodge. Still, he shakes the man again as he hauls him back up to standing and shoves him towards the exit of the car. “This isn’t finished,” he warns him at the door, pushing him through hard enough that he falls to his ass on the other side. Curtis points at him. “You’ll pay for this.”

He slams the door and goes back to Rose, who’s still standing there looking lost, shivering, cold. The shower’s still running, so Curtis hurries over to turn the water off. He grabs the towel that’s hanging on the hook and brings it to Rose, intending to bundle her up as quickly as he can. She takes it and wraps it around herself, but it ends at mid thigh and Curtis’ eyes are drawn to a trickle of red running down her inner thigh. All the blood drains from his face. “You’re bleeding,” he says, horrified.

Rose looks down at it and sniffles. “Oh.”

“I’ll fucking kill him,” Curtis breathes, already turning to go back out and finish the job.

“Curtis! Curtis wait!” Rose grabs his arm with both hands as she shakes her head frantically. “I’m fine. It’s my period. He didn’t hurt me.”

Curtis calms down, his chest heaving from adrenaline. “You swear?” he urges, grabbing her upper arms and holding her in front of himself to get a better look at her. Now that he’s paying attention, he can see that she’s dripping wet and rattled, but not visibly hurt.

“I swear. I’m okay.”

His eyes track back down to the blood on her leg, suspicious until he looks beyond and sees her pile of clothing sitting over on a shelf. There’s a small folded rag there the likes of which he’s seen before; what the women pass around silently amongst themselves when they bleed. Curtis calms down as he realizes that Rose is telling the truth and not just lying to keep him from murdering Hodge. He lets go of her upper arms, suddenly aware that she may not want him touching her right at this moment. “Sorry,” he mutters, not knowing what else to say. He feels like he’s just run a marathon, his heart is beating so fast.

Rose surprises him by throwing herself into his arms again, a sob making her whole body heave against him. “Thank you,” she cries, hugging him, hiding her face against his chest. “Curtis, god. If you hadn’t come in …”

“Shh. I did. I did come,” he reassures her, wrapping his arms around her fully again now that he knows it’s welcome. She feels so small. “You’re okay. I’ve got you.”

They stand there for who knows how long. Minutes, at least. Calming down together. Rose’s crying fades, and Curtis’ blood pressure re-enters the stratosphere. He can feel the red hot anger and instinct to kill bleeding out of his mind the longer that time stretches on. He becomes aware of how cold Rose must be in only her towel and still all wet. “Here,” he says, ushering her back towards the shower. The stalls have changing areas right in front of them, and he steps back so that she can have privacy. “Get dried off. Get dressed,” he says. “I’ll …” his gaze falls back down to the trail of red on her leg. He swallows thickly and averts his eyes. “I’ll be right here.”

Shakily, she nods and pulls the curtain. She gets dressed, and when she opens the curtain again, her hair has been towel-dried and hangs limply about her face. She looks shyly up at Curtis. “Hey.”

“C’mere, Honey.”

She folds back herself into his arms eagerly, whining and pressing into him. “Thank you,” she whispers. “God, Curtis. Thank you.”

“I should’ve been here,” he grunts, thinking of how Tanya had held him back. He silently curses her. “I knew something like this would happen,” he hisses to himself, though he regrets saying it when he feels how it makes her shudder against him.

“Can we get out of here, please?”

He nods and starts to lead them towards the door of the car. He’s not surprised to find Hodge gone on the other side. Curtis silently fumes about what he’d walked in on, as he leads Rose backtrain. They walk through the car where her spot is, and Curtis gives her hand a squeeze when she looks back at it and makes a questioning noise. “I want you with me tonight,” he tells her, gentle but firm, because no way in hell is he leaving her alone now. “Please?” he coaxes, pleased when she looks up to him and nods.

“Okay.”

He smiles softly. “Good girl.”

Curtis has a good sized spot. Certainly big enough for two, which he’s grateful for when he guides her to scoot in across the bed. His is the third bunk up out of four, which means climbing a few rungs, but once you’re up there it affords a fair sense of privacy, especially once he draws the curtain across to close them in together. He flicks the small lamp on, its dim bulb flickering to life and giving just enough light to see by.

He’s got his blankets spread out on the bed. There’s plenty of room enough to sit up and move around, all of his worldly possessions hung to the wall or else strapped against the top of the bunk above. “Home sweet home,” he says, gesturing around half heartedly. “Nothing special.”

“It’s nice.” Rose looks around with a little curiosity before tucking her head down. She shrugs. “You’ve got one of the lights. Our spot doesn’t. I mean … my spot,” she amends quietly. “Our neighbor has the light.”

The lights are built into the walls, meant to faintly illuminate what were once the train’s original baggage racks, powered by the Arc Reactor and impossible to move. But some people have managed to rig up their own lamps from salvaged materials and a little creative wiring over the years. There are no windows in the Tail. Curtis has heard that there are windows uptrain, but he doesn’t know whether to be jealous or not. Would it really improve anything, to have a view of the wasted, frozen world they left behind? He’s not so sure. At least this way they can pretend that Snowpiercer is all there is, the delusion only ruined whenever the Jackboots arrive to deliver food or raid them.

Curtis settles beside her and knocks their legs together. “I’ll keep my eye out for something in the market,” he promises. “Someone as pretty as you shouldn’t be in the dark.”

She smiles as though pained, looking down at her lap. “Being pretty is what got me into this mess.”

Curtis sighs. “No. It’s not just that, Hon.” He cups her face, stroking his thumb over her cheekbone. “It’s not just that.”

“What then?”

He smiles sadly. “Look, if there’s one thing you gotta understand about men, it’s that we covet the rare … and the pure. You’re good. Truly good, in a way most of us aren’t. In a way we can’t afford to be.” He drops his hand and turns away, feeling gross for having told her that, for having included himself in the roster of ‘men’ who think like that. But it’s true. “That’s why you stand out,” he mutters. “None of us are good the way you’re good.”

“What? But you’re good.”

Curtis scoffs. “Please.”

“You are! You’re on council aren’t you?”

He rolls his eyes. “That means I’m good with people, not good. There’s a difference.”

“No,” Rose insists. “No, you help everyone. You lead us, try to make life better for us.” She gets incensed when he continues to disagree. “You do! You … you make dolls for little girls who’ve lost all their toys. You protect us.”

Curtis slumps back against the wall. “Is that what I did back there? Protected you?”

“Yes. Curtis you saved me. You stopped him from …” She falters, unable to say the word, and the silence grows uncomfortable between them. Eventually she stares down at her lap and scoffs bitterly.

Curtis looks over. He doesn’t like the pinch that’s settled between her eyebrows. There’s something strangely self-deprecating about it, and he can’t figure out what’s going on in her head. “Hey.” He nudges her knee with his. “What are you thinking, Hon?”

She shakes her head. “Hodge,” she whispers. “He said things.”

“Oh god. Don’t. Rosie, don’t pay attention to anything that cretin said. Did he threaten you? Because if he did, you know I still have half a mind to rip off his—”

“He said that somebody would choose me, and if it isn’t him it’ll be someone else ‘staking their claim’.” She looks rather mortified as she repeats it. “And he’s not wrong. I mean that’s the way it’s done, isn’t it?” she asks bitterly. “The men. They choose who they want. We don’t get a say. Not really.”

“Rosie,” Curtis mourns, wishing that he could spare her, wishing he could tell her that she has choices, choices that people will respect. But he doesn’t want to lie. She doesn’t deserve to be lied to. “Hey,” he says instead. “You know I care about you, right?”

She nods, sniffling. “Yeah.”

“You should sleep here. Not just tonight but every night.” He can tell by her reaction that she realizes what he means, and he’s pleased when she leans against his side, still seeking comfort in him. He relaxes now that the hardest part is done. “Would you like that, Petal?” he asks softly, wrapping his arm around her and holding her close. She scoffs at the nickname, and Curtis kisses the top of her head. It’s been a long time since he’s had another person in his bunk—a long time. Not having a partner is lonely, sure, but with the way things are in the tail, it’s easier just to jerk off. Romance is all but dead, as is evidenced by the Tailies’ near-transactional customs regarding sex and relationships. “Will you?” he checks, relieved when she gives a little nod and a sniffle.

“I don’t want to be alone.”

“I don’t want that either.”

They sit there in silence for a while, and just as Curtis starts to wonder if Rose has fallen asleep, she whispers, “What was it like?”

“What was what like?”

“Men and women. Before. How did it …” she pauses, considering what she wants to say, or perhaps how to ask. “My dad and my mom,” she settles on. “They loved each other. Nobody claimed my mom. They chose each other.”

Curtis nods and gives her arm a squeeze. “Yeah. That’s how it was.”

“Tell me?” she asks, sounding for all the world like a child asking for a bedtime story. “Please?”

Curtis rubs her back, resigning himself to telling her the truth. “People met,” he says. “At school, at work, through friends. If they liked each other romantically, they dated.”

“What’s ‘dated’?”

He winces where she can’t see. “When you liked someone, you’d ask them out on a date. You’d meet them and go do something nice together. Something fun. Get a drink or see a movie, eat a meal in a restaurant.”

“Did the man decide the dates?”

He frowns. “Sometimes. Women would too, though. Sometimes they’d be the one to ask the guy out. It just depended.”

“What happened next?” Rose asks.

“Well … you’d just keep spending time together, you’d keep dating. If the people decided not to date anybody else, they’d agree to be a couple. Boyfriend and girlfriend. … Or husband and wife.”

“What’s the difference?”

Curtis winces at how sad it is that she doesn’t know that. The long term implications of their confinement in the Tail section are obvious and jarring, at times like this. He licks his lips. “Marriage was more serious than dating. More permanent. You might break up with your girlfriend eventually, but if you made her your wife, then that was like saying you wanted to be together forever.” He doesn’t bother getting into the concept of divorce, knowing that she just needs a basic understanding of the matter. “That’s how it was,” he finishes. “Before.”

Rose is quiet for a long while, thinking it over. Eventually she says, “And now the men choose.”

Curtis hates how resigned she sounds about it. “What happened in the wash car isn’t allowed,” he says, aware of the way her body tenses against him. “I’ll make sure Hodge is punished. But the thing is, Sweetheart … I’m worried he won’t be the last.”

Rose sniffles. “It’s ‘cause my dad’s gone, isn’t it?”

“That doesn’t help the matter. But you’ve been old enough for a while now, for some. And I’ve seen them looking.”

“For some?” Rose peeks up at him. “Not you?”

Curtis hesitates to answer. “... You’re young, Honey.” It’s not like he can say that he wants her. But saying that he doesn’t would be a total lie. He might not be looking yet, if he didn’t have the other men to worry about; but he does have to worry about them, and so he has been looking. “I’ll make sure Hodge is punished,” he reiterates. “Severely. Even with the way things are now, that was completely beyond the pale.” He feels that hot surge of fury boil up inside him again as he thinks about it: Rose standing there, shivering and crying, Hodge with his hands on her, his dick hanging out of his pants. “He was going to rape you,” Curtis growls. “He needs to pay.”

“And the others?” she asks. “You’ll stop them?”

His chest aches at her unshakable faith in him and what she thinks he can do. “I can only protect you one way,” he murmurs, pulling her close and burying his nose in her hair so that she can’t look up at him with those big doe eyes again. “Has Tanya talked to you much?” he asks. Her head moves against him in a little nod, but she doesn’t say anything. Curtis kisses her hair. “What happened in the wash car could happen again. Someone’ll want to claim you.” She whines and rubs her face against his sweater, clinging to him. He pulls her into his lap just like he had during storytime, earlier that night. “Hey,” he soothes, “I wish it could be different, you know? Wish I could take you outta here, make other people respect your choices.” He sighs sadly. “That’s just not how it works anymore, Petal.”

“I know,” she says quietly. “Would you take me on a date, Before?” He hesitates, and she notices. She looks up at him. “You wouldn’t?”

“You’re too young for me,” he admits. “Or you would’ve been. Before.”

“Now I’m not?” she asks, and Curtis averts his eyes uncomfortably, because of course she’s still too fucking young. If they were still in the World she’d be finishing up high school, going to prom and the mall, glued to her phone. Learning about sex from school and porn and from fumbling encounters with boys her own age, not from some jaded midwife in a squalid train car.

“Now …” he sighs. “Now, it’s different. It doesn’t make it right, but girls become fair game once they’re about your age. And any man who’s interested can try for you.”

“I know that,” she whispers. “But what about you? Are you interested?”

Curtis’ mouth is dry. He can’t answer. So he nods smally instead. He’s surprised when she doesn’t seem frightened or upset by this admission. He lets his hands hold her more securely, fingers dipping into the curve of her waist from over her sweater. “I care about you,” he croaks. “I want to protect you. And the only way I know to do that is to claim you myself.”

“Will you?” she asks. She lays her cheek back against his chest and yawns. “Claim me?”

Above her resting head, Curtis grinds his teeth. “Let’s just take it one day at a time, okay Hon?”

“Mm.” She nods sleepily. “Okay. I trust you, Curtis. Thank you for helping me today.”

He doesn’t answer her, just holds her against him and rubs her back as she gradually falls to sleep. He’s not the man she thinks he is, and she should be in her own spot right now, not tucked away in here with him, because sooner or later he knows he’s going to take advantage. He’ll have her, and he’ll make sure that every other man in the train knows that she’s his. That may not be what she really wants, or even what’s good for her.

But oh well, he thinks. At least it’s better than the alternative.

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