#i hear people that they sign up for the military to get benefits and then get mad when they're sent out | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

callsignthirsty · 2 years

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OMG! I'm loving your Iceman stories!! 🥵🌡🥵🌡🥵🌡👅👅👅

Can I request a story? Maybe it's the night before Ice has to be deployed and the reader is upset and he comforts her with some sexy lovemaking?

Please and thank you ❤️

@ecarroll1978 — thank you for your eternal patience. I got smacked upside the head by SitM and was unable to focus on anything else for a minute.

I know you asked for sexy lovemaking, and I was reaching for that, but then I spilled a bunch of angst into the mix. Sorry in advance. I hope that this still scratches your itch.

Pairing: Tom “Iceman” Kazansky x F!Reader Word Count: 2700 Warnings: Smut, angst, more feelings that you may have thought you signed up for with me Minors DNI

Do You Have to Go?

Ice's bag sits by the door. Packed with military efficiency next to his boots. His khakis are pressed and folded on the chair in the corner of your room. Dog tags on the nightstand.

He leaves in the morning.

The carrier departed earlier today — or, well, yesterday. One of the benefits of dating a naval aviator is that you get a couple extra days. They're the last to deploy and the first to disembark. Something to do with the planes being unable to take off while the carrier is docked.

You went to bed hours ago, but sleep has actively avoided you. Before long, the sun will begin its climb out from the ocean, and Slider will park his car beside Ice's in the garage. Pull a cover over his baby like he's tucking her in, hang his keys in the laundry room, and then you'll drive them both to NAS Miramar. The routine is familiar, but that doesn't mean you like it.

"Hey." Ice gathers you in his arms and pulls you back against his chest. "You okay?" His head ducks into the crook of your neck, warm breath fanning over your shoulder.

"I'm fine."

"Mmm," he hums. "People only say that when they aren't." And he has you there. You're pretty far from fine, but you're even further from admitting it. "If you think any louder, you'll wake up the whole neighborhood. Talk to me."

You try to settle into him. Let him wrap you in his arms and attempt to soak up the steady ba-dum of his heart against your back. The way his sleep-soft hair tickles the underside of your jaw and his knees tuck up under yours. But every one of your lines remains rigid. You open your mouth to say what's on your mind, but there's something in your throat. A wetness that tracks down your nose and into your pillow. Swallowing, you try again, but you know he'll hear it in your voice. "Do you have to go?"

You know the answer before the question has even left your lips, and you hate the way he holds you closer. Presses a slow, sad kiss near your collarbone.

"You know I do."

It's the worst part of loving him: having to let him go. Only having him for scant months at a time. Hoping you get a letter back. A call. But it's also what makes him who he is. And you'd give the world to keep him at your side, but you'd never ask him to change.

Unable to choke out anything else, you nod your head. When Ice begins to turn you in his arms, you keep your eyes shut tight, unable to face him. It doesn't stop the tears from escaping past your lashes and onto his chest, where he cradles your head and rubs soothing circles into your back. "We'll be okay," he reassures you, his voice still rough and thick with exhaustion. "I'll be back before you know it."

It's a sweet lie. Time never passes as slowly as it does when he's deployed. And the moments leading up to it slip like sand through your fingers: faster, the tighter you try to hold on.

"But what if you're not?" you hiccup. "What if…" you can't bring yourself to finish the thought, but it damns you all the same. So you try to comfort yourself with the belief that even if Tom doesn't come home, you'll still have known what it felt like to have basked in the warm glow of his love. To have loved him in return. But all the thought does is wring a round of fresh tears onto his neck.

"I'll come back," he tries again. Pulls you from his chest and angles your head up as his thumb dries salty rivulets from your cheeks. "I'll always come back to you." It's a promise you both know he shouldn't be making, one you'll never be able to hold him to, but he's so sure of himself. You take a shaky breath and nod into the warmth of his hand on your cheek.

Ice presses a kiss to the top of your crown, your forehead, the corner of your lips. You let out a wet gasp and seek him out in a soft kiss. All sad sighs and gentle pressure. When it ends, your head dips beneath his jaw again to nuzzle into him, finally bring your arms to wrap around his shoulders as you breathe him in — no cologne, no aftershave, just his pure masculine scent.

You clutch him close, and Ice hugs you in return. Continues to rub benign circles against your back. Ice smoothes a hand through your hair when you look up at him again. "What can I do?" he asks, his eyes helplessly searching yours.

'Don't leave me,' you want to say. But that isn't fair. Ice never wants to leave you. The months at sea are just as torturous for him as they are for you. "Love me," you beg instead, voice colored with unshed tears. "Just love me."

"I can do that."

Plush lips capture yours, slow where yours grow insistent until you're both lazily trading close-mouthed promises of candied, domestic bliss. Until you're trembling, running on raw emotion, and all that's left is your purest, most vulnerable self. "I've got you," he vows as you tremble in his hands. His next kiss is steeped in passion. A promise of years and the sweetness of real, heartbreaking love as his tongue finally glides along your lips. You let him in with a contented sigh, hands cupping the sharp cut of his jaw, resting over his racing pulse, and drawing him closer.

Ice climbs on top of you, your chests rubbing and lips never parting as you roll onto your back. Your hands meander down his back, pausing to memorize the hills and valleys. The lines of his ribs, the shift of the muscles in his back as he holds himself above you. The calluses lining his hands as they skim up and down your side, knead at your hips.

When his lips break from yours, it's so he can lift your night shirt over your head. You arch off the bed to help. Before the fabric hits the floor, your fingers are in his hair, tugging him into another silky kiss. Ice obliges momentarily but then sits back, his hand on your chest, stilling you against sweat-damp sheets. His eyes rake from your sleep-tousled hair and glossy eyes down to your heaving chest. And you lie there, entranced by the thumb that plays at the waistband of his boxers, let him drink you in while you study the way that the moonlight streaming through the window highlights the Cupid's bow of his lips, the roundness of his broad shoulders, the cut of his abs. How his blonde hair is painted silver and his pale eyes seem to glow.

"You're beautiful," he breathes as he stretches over you, with smooth skin and a love-drunk expression. The praise sends a shiver down your spine, and you wrap your thighs around him to pull him closer, desperately needing the contact. To feel whole before he's ripped away from you. Again.

Ice fits against you like a puzzle piece. Clicks into place and showers you with tender kisses until the loose cotton of your sheets is too much. Clinging to you and making sweat beads along your temples, you try to kick them off the edge of the bed with tangled limbs. Tomorrow night, they won't be enough to keep you warm. Not in his absence.

"Bite me," you plead with your fingers twisted in his hair. You want to feel the sting of his teeth sinking into your tender flesh. Want to wake up for days with the physical manifestation of his brand staring back at you in the mirror. Something you can pet and poke and worry and keep long after he's landed on the carrier.

Ice must understand because he takes to the task easy enough. He kisses down your collarbone and between the valley of your breasts. It starts with a lingering peck, then his tongue. A nip. A hearty suck. You can already feel the bruise forming, pulsing beneath his lips as he continues to work the tender skin. He stops sucking with a wet, satisfied smack, then trails his lips lower, not stopping until you're littered with the rosy red bloom of his mark. Your hips, your thighs, your collarbones.

"That better, baby?" he asks, licking over the freshest mark in an attempt to quiet the still-burning sting of his affection. You nod because these will have to do. But the bruises will fade with time. Then his scent will be whisked from his pillow and out the window with the breeze, and you'll be truly alone. Left to drift through the house like a specter. Entombed within the four walls where once you'd flourished. A tomb and a shrine to the life you've built together. Brittle. Dead as the desert shrubs until his love rolls in like a storm and breathes you back to life.

Before he can move on away, you kiss down Ice's neck. He lets you, head tilting to the side to give you more room to work with. And with his silent permission, you return the favor. Tentatively, at first, but then with fervor. Sucking a deep mark into the unblemished skin above his collarbone. Your stamp. A claim is easily hidden beneath his khakis, flight suit, and dress whites, but that Slider will tease him for in the locker room. Your own brief reminder of what he has to come home to.

When you're done, Ice guides your lips back to his. They part instantly, your breathing shallow and rushed, heads tilting, hands grabbing.

"Tom."

"I know, baby. I know." He's hard against your thigh but ignores it in favor of sucking your bottom lips into his mouth. Nibbling at it until it's tender and plump from the treatment. A hand ghosts over your chest, thumbing over your nipple before his fingers trail up to your hand. He laces your fingers together, kisses the back of your thumb, your wrist, then presses your hand into the mattress beside your head. You give his hand a squeeze and marvel at the size of it. How it dwarfs your hand while holding it so delicately like you're something precious.

With a shift, his cock is hot against your core, gliding effortlessly as he rocks his hips with a groan. When he tries to sit up, you use your hand clasped in his to pull him to you. Shaking your head, you tell him: "Want it. Need to feel you." And he nods because he's always known you better than you know yourself. Like the bruises, you want to feel this for days. The sweet pleasure-pain of where he's stretched you open. Where you've been joined so completely. Where you once were whole.

Your legs loosen around his hips so he can position himself at your entrance, the hand not in yours pressing one of your thighs into the mattress. The tip sinks in, and you close your eyes to savor the feeling, but Ice pulls out just as fast. "Eyes on me, sweetheart," he croons, and you're helpless to do anything but obey. He's gorgeous like this: eyes half-lidded and dark with desire, fringe falling into his eyes, cheeks an amorous pink. Tomorrow he'll be the Navy's, but tonight he's yours.

You both moan as he inches into you.

And you would be happy to stay just like this all night. You want to. Would give the world for it. Hands clasped tight because you know it's only a matter of hours until you'll have to let go. Chests flush, heaving and close enough to feel his heart race. Eyes so focused in loving adoration that you can count every shade of blue-green in them. Your legs snug around his hips, holding him to you like this will be the thing to bolt him to the ground. To keep him here. With you. Safe from the rising tensions over a vast wasteland of water. Still flying high but tethered to you. To home. Like a kite catching in the breeze.

Ice shifts against you like the tide — slowly rolling in and out — and you can't help but sigh as his love washes over you. You tense with each forward thrust of his hips, litter his back with half moon etchings, and shudder when he groans. His cheek is rough against your lips as you trail down to mouth at his jawline. Lick along the corded muscles in his neck and feel the hum of his voice as he says your name like a prayer into the night.

You want, more than anything, to freeze this moment, but there goes time again, slipping through your fingers like sand. Disappearing like the moon behind the clouds or the breath from your lungs. A plane into the distance. Ice speeds up, his pace still heart-stoppingly slow. He captures your lips, your tongues curling together and eyes slipping closed as you arch into him. It's hard to tell where one of you ends and the other begins; the lines between are thoroughly blurred from the pleasure and the tears, but it's still not enough.

"Tom," you plead, breath hitching. Bottom lip trembling and fresh tears wetting your eyes, though you're no longer certain whether it's from pleasure or melancholy. Ice knows, though. He kisses the tears from your lashes, the same emotions aching between his ribs.

"I love you," he pants, swallowing hard around the emotion leaking through and soaking that velvety voice you love. "So much. Never—" Never want to leave. But it goes unsaid. Because saying so changes nothing. He'll still fly out with the morning light. Instead, he presses his forehead to yours, slick with the sweat from your lovemaking.

"Please."

He presses a kiss to your temple. Harder this time. Then sinks his lips into yours with a barely restrained passion, some of that tight-leashed control slipping through his fingers. "Wanna show you how much I love you," he says, hips pressed firmly to your own, and you bounce with it. "Want you with me all the time." You keen. "Gonna make it official," he groans.

Your mouth drops open with a gasp that's half surprise as your skin prickles and your mind goes fuzzy.

"When I get back. Just- god—" Ice's head falls between his shoulders with a strangled noise "—Just gotta wait for me to get back." His lips surge into yours, needily catching your moans on his tongue. "You can do it, sweetheart. I know you can." His admission is simultaneously too much and not enough. The two of you devolving into stuttered breaths and trembling hips. Both chasing the end while wanting to hold it off as long as possible — draw out the moment forever, like the horizon disappearing over the sea.

But, unlike your love, the night is finite.

You reach your peaks, groaning into each other's mouths and wrapped in an intimate embrace. Clinging together and trading slow, hungry kisses until Ice's softened cock slips from you and the chill of the early morning leeches the heat from you both, leaving you shivering on the bed, sated and reeking of sex.

Ice picks the blankets up from where they'd been kicked to the floor. Instead of draping them over you as your eyes grow heavy, he motions for you to stand, and as you make your way to the back door bundled in the duvet, he pulls on some sweatpants and starts the coffee maker.

The two of you sit under the fading stars on the back patio. Talking about everything and nothing in hushed whispers. Enjoying the bitter taste of your coffee as the sky bleaches light enough to where you can make out the palm trees swaying in the breeze. As the clouds grow pink, you beg time to stand still, just this once.

It doesn't.

And as the sun finally breaks free of the horizon, Ice presses a kiss to the top of your head, and you burrow further into his side to soak up his love like these first rays of the sun while Slider pulls into the drive.

#top gun fanfiction #top gun smut #tom iceman kazansky x reader #tom iceman kazansky x f!reader #tom iceman kazansky x reader smut #tom kazansky x reader #iceman x reader #iceman smut #iceman top gun #tom iceman kazansky smut #tom kazansky smut #iceman kazansky #thirsty answers

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bakurapika · 8 months

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what i worried getting a job at a nonprofit for veterans might wind up doing: god bless the usa, protect our troops, the us government can do no wrong

what it actually is: turning into a blazing fury whenever someone talks shit about the average recruit instead of the VA, the system of bureaucratic incompetence of malice, the brainwashing, the racism rife in command, the disregard for well-being...

obviously the us military hurts people the world over and needs to be held accountable. but you know who doesn't need to be held accountable? Joe Schmo, who signed up, got assaulted by an officer in boot camp, lost his hearing while loading boxes for 4 years, and got discharged as other than honorable (not recognized as being a "veteran" in the eyes of the government at all, and getting stuck with a label that makes it difficult to get hired in the civilian world, but also can't enroll in the military again) 3 months before his term was up bc he smoked a joint once to cope with the chronic anxiety he developed from being in a hostile work environment he couldn't leave

obviously not everyone is in that situation but like . many many many of them are. especially those in minority groups who signed up for the military bc they wanted to build a better life for themselves and their family or needed education benefits or just freakin health care

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decemberhigherpower · 1 year

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Tell me everything about ur terrorist oc ❤

:3:3 !! Grabs you. Ok so

his name is Amrya Veron. he grows up as sort of an awkward kid (Autism . its the autsm) and was pretty big on the military and guns and all that, and he especially likes planes. his favourite kinds ae small planes. when he gets out of highschool he immediately signs up for the army, and after a year or two of service hes like. ":^( this kind of sucks. I'm killing people with families and friends. For what end. Profit for the government, meant to help me, that i'll never actually see any benefit from?" and one of the guys he's stationed with is like "Haha you sound like that loser mcveigh." so anyway he starts researching mcveigh and is like "Woah ths guy Rocks" and mcveigh becomes something of an idol to him. this is over a period of months, during which he becomes so apathetic and depressed to the point of suicidality. He decides to also research some other 90s/2000s terrorist attacks For Fun and comes across the 2001 anthrax letters, and is like "Woah anthrax Rocks". when he hears that inhaled anthrax, supposedly the most deadly/worst type of way to get infected with it, has never been used in any kind of attack, it couples with his growing apathy and he's set on using it. he devises a plan and sets out to complete it: he is basically like "Hey military teach me how to fly plane" and theyre like 'ok' and then he leaves the military. he finds a bunch of books on anthrax and starts talking to a couple of scientists who know about it. eventually he gets his hands on some through less-than-legal means, and also buys a Cessna (small aircraft) and after some modifications are made to the cessna to include the anthrax he's distilled, he. YK. he goes to town. lol Anyway yeah hes my littl scrimbing and i smack him against walls and punch him to death every day and every night. Because i care

#thank u 4 the ask.... i love to parade my little guys whenever i can

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badlucksav · 2 years

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Since @orangepanic kindly pointed out I’d forgotten to share her birthday gift here…

No Limits

Rating: E

Pairing: Irosami

Chapters: 1/1

Summary: Asami signs up for a military-inspired exercise course when Varrick gives her a discount coupon. What she doesn't expect is for the course to be so hard, nor to fall for the gorgeous intructor.

(Non explicit snippet under the cut)

“Yeah, right,” she said, trying to keep sarcasm from dripping into her tone. “Anyway, it’s been a long day and I’m pretty tired—”

“Right, yeah, I don’t want to keep you,” Iroh said. “But just real quick before I let you go, uh—I wanted to see if you felt like the course was too advanced for you.”

Indignation bristled through her. She’d had one bad session, and only because she was taken by surprise at its intensity. She could handle it.

“If it is, I was wanting to offer you some one-on-one sessions,” Iroh went on. “I want everyone to get their money’s worth with the course, and you did really well, but if you think you’d benefit from some more targeted sessions, I’m happy to help.”

Asami didn’t quite know what to think of that. Her first thought was that the extra lessons would cost her more money, and why would she want to do that when the original course was expensive enough? She wasn’t even a fitness buff; she maintained a healthy weight, but that was about it.

Her second thought was that he might actually genuinely care if she completed his course, and maybe even had a little fun with it. And maybe he actually cared about her, in the sense that he cared about the people who took his course. He had called her at home, on his personal time, both to make sure she was feeling better and to offer private lessons, after all.

“Um, wow, that’s very kind of you,” Asami began. “I’m not sure if I—I don't want to waste your time or my money. To be honest with you, Iroh, I was considering getting a refund and dropping the class.”

Iroh sucked in a breath between his teeth. “I was hoping you wouldn’t say that,” he told her. “You did really well—”

“I threw up all over your shoes,” she said drily.

“—yes, but otherwise you did a good job,” Iroh said. “Look, I do these courses because I want people to be their happiest self. A lot of people feel that way when they’re fit. And I don’t just mean muscular or toned, but when they can run a mile and not want to die after—” Asami couldn’t help but snort, and Iroh chuckled before continuing, “—or because they can pull their chin over the bar on a pull-up. Miss Sato, you signed up for my class for a reason. I’d like to help you reach your goals, whatever they are.”

For a moment, Asami wasn’t sure what to say. Iroh didn’t sound like he was trying to peddle shit; he sounded genuine. She thought about how he’d been during the class that morning. He had seemed sincere and enthusiastic. Maybe he wasn’t full of shit. Spirits, when had Asami gotten so jaded?

“That sounds really nice, Iroh,” Asami told him. “Why don’t you text me your rates for one-on-one sessions, and I’ll see what works for me.”

“Oh, Miss Sato, there seems to be a miscommunication—I was offering them for free,” Iroh corrected her. “So just let me know what times work best for you. My schedule is very flexible.”

And so am I, a sultry voice whispered in her hand, and Asami flushed. Where did that come from? Sure, Iroh was attractive, and it was very kind of him to offer private lessons, but come on. She couldn’t sleep with her trainer…could she? No, she shouldn’t. She definitely should not.

“Thank you,” Asami murmured. “I’ll check with my schedule and I’ll let you know.”

“Perfect. I hope to hear from you soon.”

“Yes, you will. Have a good night.”

“You as well, Miss Sato.”

#Irosami #Iroh ii x asami sato #Iroh ii #Asami sato #nsft #minors don’t look #lemon #happy late birthday orange

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sustraiii · 2 years

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TEAM KWTZ CHAPTER 12 - THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW

The end.

KIERAN

A few days after the Grimm attack, Silbern slowly began to recover. This was not the first time the town had had to pick itself up and dust itself off. Past experiences had taught them the benefit of preparation and additional security measures, to be ready should anything like the Glatisant happen again. Kieran doubted that any of them suspected such an attack ever would happen again, but their vigilance and experiences dealing with smaller Grimm incursions leading up to the night had readied them for what was to come.

Although the recovery process had begun, it would take a while until Silbern was back to how it was. The worst damage had been done to the buildings in the town square, which Kieran later learnt from his sister had been badly damaged by the Strix that had attacked her. One of the outer walls and several residential buildings had been damaged as well, most of which had been caused by the hybrid Grimm. As those structures were essential to safety and shelter, the mayor had instructed those to be repaired first, before they turned their attention to the rest of the town.

One small relief to Kieran was that the number of deaths had remained low following the attack. After a week had passed, the number of deaths stayed at five, four people on the night - including Victor - and another man passed a day later from the wounds he sustained. As for those who had simply been injured, the number was much higher, and many of those injured were still sequestered inside Silbern's medical centre.

It was the medical centre that Kieran, his teammates, and Ruka, were heading to today, sent to collect his uncle Colin who was finally being released.

Kieran's father was supposed to have been the one collecting his uncle, but had decided to throw a small party in secret for his younger brother, so had managed to rope Ruka into helping instead. KWTZ, on the other hand, had not planned to tag along with Ruka to collect Colin but for some reason, the man had insisted on them coming.

Upon arriving, the five of them waited patiently at the front desk, until a frazzled nurse came to see them. Kieran noted that her uniform seemed to look like an Atlas military uniform.

"Can I help you?" She asked, looking at the group expectantly. Despite her obvious fatigue, her tone was cheerful.

"Yes, we're here to collect my uncle," Kieran explained. The nurse nodded and began to look over some files behind the desk, to which Kieran added, "His name is Colin Peredur."

"Ah, here he is," The nurse said, pulling out a file and opening up the file behind the desk. "I'll go let him know you're here and we can get him discharged."

With a smile, she set off down a corridor, nearly bumping into another doctor who was walking between rooms. They were not kept waiting long until the doctor reappeared, with Colin close behind. Although he was walking on his own, he had an obvious limp, thanks to the cast he had on his left foot.

Colin seemed surprised to see Ruka standing with KWTZ. "What are you doing here?" He would ask her once he and the nurse had reached the front desk.

"Nice to see you too," Ruka quipped sarcastically. She chuckled before answering him properly. "I'm here covering for your brother. He wanted to be here but got called to the Fleece. Some sort of emergency I believe."

It was a rehearsed answer but hearing it out loud, Kieran had to admit it wasn't the most convincing lie. Colin certainly didn't seem entirely convinced based on the expression on his face but he was kind enough not to pry any further. The nurse got through his paperwork efficiently and had just finished signing him out when he asked if he could borrow the nurse for a second.

She raised a brow before shrugging and following him back down the corridor from which he had come.

"Do you know what that's about?" Ruka asked.

Wyn shrugged. "Your guess is as good as ours."

They would get their answer soon enough when Colin and the nurse returned, with Colin pushing Meredith in a wheelchair. Kieran had to admit he was surprised to see the Chartreuse woman. After the night of the attack, he had heard little of her condition, though he could at least figure out she had not died as her name had not been added to the list of those who had passed in the days that followed.

When the three of them stopped in front of the group, Kieran could clearly see that Meredith looked exhausted, and understandably so given what had happened to her. Her skin was notably pale, she had prominent dark shadows under her eyes, and her hair framed her face in limp waves. She also had an IV drip in her hand. But despite everything, her green eyes were bright and full of life, and she mustered up a weak smile for KWTZ.

“It is good to see you looking so well,” Lin commented, becoming the first of the team to return the woman’s greeting.

“I have a long way to recover yet, but thank you for your kind words,” Meredith responded with a strained voice.

After a moment passed, Colin spoke up. “She should still be resting but was insistent on speaking with you today when she learnt I was being discharged,” He explained.

Kieran raised a brow and looked back at Meredith, who looked to one side at the increase in attention on her.

“I wanted to apologise to all of you,” Meredith explained, twirling her fingers anxiously in her lap.

“Apologise for what?” Tilia asked.

“For Victor…and for what happened with the Grimm,” Meredith responded, her voice faltering as she spoke.

“Don’t be silly! You don’t have to apologise for that!” Tilia responded bluntly, a sentiment which was clearly shared by the rest of KWTZ by how quickly they nodded their heads in agreement. “You’re not the one who made that Grimm and intended on releasing it on innocent civilians.”

“Whilst that is true, I cannot help but feel as though I had a small part in things that transpired,” Meredith sighed. “If I had not been so blind to the machinations within my own house then perhaps Victor could have been stopped sooner. Perhaps five people would not have died.”

Kieran shifted uncomfortably on the spot. The situation with Victor was a difficult one for him to process still; knowing that Victor, and by extension Sylvester, had caused his mother’s death still weighed heavily on him. Whilst he personally felt no great loss from the passing and the sudden disfavour of their family, he did feel a great deal of empathy for Meredith, who had not known of their schemes and now found herself shouldering the guilt of their actions.

"It will do you no good to carry that guilt with you forever," Kieran said after a long moment. He had emitted a long sigh before speaking, and had clenched his fists, almost as though psyching himself up to talk. "What your father and cousin did was awful, truly awful. But they and they alone are responsible for the pain and losses our town has felt. I am sorry the way people now look at you, as the surviving member of your family, with hate and blame in their eyes. My only hope is that your past actions and how you will carry yourself moving forward will go a long way to prove you are a far better person than they ever were."

He was aware of Meredith watching him intently the entire time he spoke and once he finished, she smiled at him and appeared on the verge of tears.

"Thank you, Kieran. That means a lot."

Kieran gave her a small smile of reassurance. "Think nothing of it, Meredith. Just focus on getting better now, alright?"

Meredith chuckled faintly. "I'll try."

"You better," Colin said. Meredith turned her head to look up at him, and he rested a hand on her shoulder. "You still owe a dance."

After speaking with Meredith, Colin, Ruka, and KWTZ made their way back to the Peredur home. Although they had a party to get back to, they kept a leisurely pace so as not to push Colin too hard with his limp.

"So, Philippa really turned up?" Colin asked Ruka as they walked, referencing his last teammate who had turned up in the days following the Grimm attack.

"Oh yeah she was on her way here from Kryal," Ruka began to explain. "She didn't really know anything about how things had gotten here due to the CCT being down, so you can imagine her surprise when she arrived."

Colin chuckled. "Oh, I can imagine it alright. I bet there were a couple of swear words involved, yes?"

Ruka smirked back at him. "You know us too well, Colin."

"That tends to happen when I get stuck with you lot for ten years," Colin teased, bumping her arm. When they had finished joking with each other, he looked over his shoulder at KWTZ. "Have you all met Philippa yet?"

"Yeah, she nearly put Wyn through a table, it was great!" Tilia guffawed.

If Wyn was hurt by that comment he didn't show it. "I gave her a good run for her money though you have to admit."

Kieran smirked. "Wyn she didn't even use her semblance. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but you had no chance."

A round of laughter erupted from his teammates and uncle and whilst Wyn initially pouted, he too was quick to join in the laughter. When the moment had passed, the group continued on their way until they made it back to the Peredur home.

As per they had hoped, Colin knew little of the little get together which awaited him, and was genuinely taken aback when he discovered so many people waiting inside to welcome him home.

The first to greet him was Daragh, who came away from a group of people he was speaking with to welcome his brother home. He embraced him tenderly before pulling away and holding him at arm's length. "It is good to see you well, brother," Daragh smiled.

"As it is you, Daragh," Colin echoed, returning the smile.

Daragh waved a hand and pulled away. "My injuries were hardly anything of note compared to yours. But I appreciate the sentiment regardless." The Peredur patriarch patted his brother on the shoulder and then made a gesture somewhere behind him. "Come, enjoy your party! There are many who came to see you."

And Kieran's father was not wrong. As Colin went off to meet several of the party guests, Kieran made note of who had come to celebrate. It wasn't as large as the celebration at the Golden Fleece a few days back, but given recent events, it was a surprisingly good turnout. He could see Esmerelda Aveleira enjoying drinks with her father and a few friends in a corner, her mother, Lavendin, was standing not far from the rest of her family involved in a lengthy conversation with Ruka's husband, who hung onto the mayor's every word. Ruka eventually came over to join her husband, taking her son from him, and then taking him with her as she met up with Colin and Philippa.

Philippa made a cooing sound when she saw the young boy, quickly scooping him up in her arms and bouncing him on her hip. From where Kieran was standing he could hear Philippa making some teasing remarks about Colin to the toddler, who seemed more interested in trying to chew one of her plaits rather than listen to her joke. Afterwards, she said a few warm words to Colin in a quieter voice, clearly relieved to see her teammate doing better.

A more surprising guest - or rather guests - were three members of the Rutland family. Cheren's wife, his son, Ascelin, and one of his elder children, a daughter who linked arms with her mother in quiet conversation. Whilst Ascelin was currently speaking with a group of people, it seemed that most people kept away from the Rutlands, either that or they were the ones keeping from the other guests. By now it was well known that Cheren Rutland had been involved with Victor and so it seemed many had taken to avoiding the rest of his family.

Kieran felt a little bad for the pair of them and decided to come over and say something to them.

Pulling away from the rest of his teammates, Kieran stepped toward the two women. "Hello, Amalthea. Cassia." He bowed his head in greeting. "I'm glad you could make it."

Cassia Rutland returned the greeting with a gentle smile, and after a moment so did Amalthea. "I'm not sure everyone else appreciates us being here," Amalthea commented, pursing her lips afterwards. Well, that confirmed Kieran's suspicions about the other guests avoiding them.

"Cheren made an honest mistake," Kieran said. "Victor Chartreuse never told him the truth of what his plans were, nor what he was working on the entire time. Truthfully, I don't know Cheren very well, but from little I do know about his character he seems like a good man at heart. I doubt he would have worked for him if he knew the truth."

"My husband was a veteran huntsman of nearly forty years. He should have known better instead of blindly trusting Victor's word," Amalthea said with a heavy sigh. Her expression softened ever so slightly. "He struggled after his accident, you know. He had to be mindful of what jobs he could do and he could no longer keep up with the younger huntsmen and huntresses. Cheren would never have admitted it, he was too prideful in that regard, but he believed he had fallen out of favour with everyone after his accident. Why choose someone like him to do a mission when there was someone more fit and healthy waiting to take over? Whilst I'm not making excuses, I can see why Victor's job offer enticed him so easily."

Kieran gave her a sympathetic look. "Cheren fought well when the Grimm attacked the town. He was willing to pull his weight and help out. If not for him, who knows, maybe more would have been injured or worse."

"It is kind of you to say that, Kieran," Amalthea said. "So many others have looked coldly on us tonight and the days that followed the Grimm attack. There is still a long way to go in order for him to make up for his involvement, but I appreciate that there's someone who recognises and appreciates his contribution on that night."

With a final look between them, Kieran took his leave from Amalthea and her daughter. It hadn’t been necessary for him to go and speak with the two women but he felt good for having said his piece. Whatever complicated feelings he held towards Cheren and his involvement with Victor did not deserve to extend to the rest of the Rutland family.

After mingling with the rest of the party guests for a while, Kieran decided he needed some air. He left Tilia and Wyn regaling a group of people with a story from their time at the academy. Kieran lingered long enough to hear Wyn about to launch into an animated joke, quietly taking his leave through a back door. He stepped out onto a smooth patio, with a garden table and chairs in one corner and a covered up barbeque in the other. There were steps that led down to the rest of the garden and Kieran decided to sit down on one of them for now, looking out at the neatly tended garden.

He hadn't been out there long when he heard the back door slide open.

"Kieran?"

"I'm just here, Lin," Kieran said, waving her over without looking back. He heard the click of her heels against the patio surface as she came over to join him.

"Are you alright?" She asked. Kieran didn't miss the concern in her voice.

He looked up and gave her a warm smile. "I'm fine," He assured her.

Lin pulled a face, looking unconvinced. "Are you sure? You stepped out rather suddenly. One minute you were listening to Wyn and Tilia's jokes and then when I next looked you had slipped away."

"I just needed some air," Kieran explained. He reached up and gripped one of Lin's hands, giving it a comforting squeeze. "But I'm fine honestly. Thank you for checking up on me."

Still holding his hand, Lin stepped down and took a seat next him. She was still holding his hand as she leaned into his shoulder.

“It was kind of you to speak with Cheren’s wife and daughter,” She told him.

He smiled softly to himself. “It felt right to say something to them, especially considering how everyone else has started treating them as of late.”

“I think given your involvement with what happened, your words will mean a lot to them.”

Kieran sighed softly. “I hope it does,” He said, before gently resting his head against Lin’s. They sat there quietly for a few moments before he spoke again. “This feels nice.”

Lin let out a contented sigh. “I can think of a few nicer places, but I agree.”

Kieran felt the heat rise in his cheeks before he chuckled at his girlfriend’s words. “At least now that matters here have been resolved, we’ll all be able to get some much needed rest.”

“Mhm, it would be good to have a few days to ourselves at least,” Lin said.

“Only a few?” Kieran pressed, a faint smirk on his lips.

Lin pulled away from him a moment to give him a knowing glance. “Kieran, if the time we’ve spent here has taught me anything, it’s that you Peredurs simply can’t help yourselves when it comes to helping others or getting involved in potentially life-threatening missions.”

Kieran inclined his head to one side. “And does that bother you?” He teased lightly.

“It makes me worry about you a lot more,” Lin answered. She paused briefly to cup his face in her hands, steadily moving it closer to her own. “But I love you all the more for it.”

Lin pulled him closer to her and the two enjoyed a passionate kiss. When they pulled away at last, the two continued to sit, hand in hand, looking out over the garden. Kieran was not long how long they stayed out there for, lost in each other, and lost in the quiet but the two of them eventually found their way back inside. Reunited with their teammates, their friends, and the rest of Kieran’s family the two of them enjoyed the celebrations long into the night. And when the party finally came to a close, KWTZ could look forward to the rest they had had initially come looking for.

#team kwtz fic #team KWTZ #kieran peredur #wyn blanchard #tilia bosco #Lin Zhu #colin peredur #daragh peredur #meredith chartreuse #ruka aoki #philippa dalton #esmerelda aveleira

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stephenjaymorrisblog · 2 years

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I am re-posting this article I wrote back in 2015. I feel it is still relevant

__________________________________________________________

2/11/2015

From E.S.T to Isis

(Life doesn’t suck! You do!)

By Stephen Jay Morris

If any decade I disliked the most were the 70’s. I missed the real experience of the 60’s by a few years. I was 13 in 1967. My I.Q was still developing. By the decade called the 70’s, I was in my 20’s. Many wax nostalgic about that decade, not me. Remember: If you remember the 70’s, you were there. It was Disco, Stadium rock, bad drugs and commercialized sex. The worst fad that came out in the USA in 70’s was Cults. There were all types of cults. The most popular was the Christian cults. Then were the New Age cults ranging from worshiping a pimple face 15 year-old gurus to people worshiping rocks? Then there was the self-improvement movement, which was controlled by these motivational speakers. Now they call them, “Life Coaches” The most flagrant cult was Erhard Seminar Training (A.K.A) E.S.T. The Life Coach was this group was a former Jewish used car dealer named, “Jack Rosenberg”. He changed his name to, “Werner H. Erhard”. Ayn Rand, “Alice Rosenbloom” to L. Ron Hubbard book, “Dianetics”, influenced him. If can divert for a while. My grandmother Rose loved that book, Dianetics, which was the Scientology manifesto. My grandmother was gullible enough to fall for any self-help that came down the pike. My grandma gave it to my dad to read. He never did. That paperback book sat on the coffee table collecting dust for 2 years. He finally threw it the trashcan.

I want to focus on the philosophy of this group. This is it succinctly: Everything is your fault! You have no one to blame but yourself! That’s it! That proverb: Taking responsibility for yourself…well…it was coined by this cult. If you are walking down the street and some passing car shoots you, it’s your fault! How come you weren’t wearing bulletproof vest? Mr. Erhard in his save the world fantasies thought if everybody took care of himself or she … then there wouldn’t be any need for government or a military. Ever Human can live like a king. Is this ideology starting sound familiar?

The training sessions (sic) would take place in some hotel near airport. You pay a large amount of money, maybe 500 dollars to get brainwashed. It would be in some drab conference room. Usually there were no windows or clocks in that room. You weren’t allowed to get to the toilet until the end of session. Then it became a confessional orgy. Some would get up recount the bad events of their lives with tears in there eyes. The speaker would comment on your confession, which was very insensitive. This treatment was to make one callus to emotional pain. So your uncle sexually molested you? That is entirely your fault! You should stop being a victim!

The whole concept of their no such thing as victims was established by this cult. Anti-Victimology has its roots in E.S.T. Don’t be a victim! The real victims of this ideology were followers of this cult.

By the early 80’s, E.S.T faded away and other groups like: Landmark took over. However, a lot conservative think tanks not only adopted Ayn Rand Philosophy but also the ideology of E.S.T. Flash forward to now. If you listen to A.M radio and you hear a lot E.S.T rhetoric. What is amazing that the religious right using the same rhetoric? They accuse certain Christian dominations of being stooges of communism, alas Liberation theology. But these right wing clowns are using 70’s cult propaganda. Oh, the hypocrisy! The hypocrisy!

If you remember the 70’s, there was scam called the Pyramid scheme. Basically the scheme was you get paid for signing up other suckers. The suckers would have to sign up other suckers. Who would benefit? If you did the math, no one did. Only the very top of the pyramid did. That is how the modern day conservatives views capitalism as a pyramid scheme. The peasants of the foundation of the pyramid hold up the very wealthy on top.

The American must reject this 70’s right wing cultism and embrace the essence of compassion and reason. There are such things as victims. Just ask a Republican that got audited by the I.R.S.

The terrorist group Isis is a cult, a death cult that is. You remember 1978? There was a Christian death cult called: The people temple run by The Reverent Jones. The members all died in massive suicide in some South America country by drinking poison. The Rev. Jones was very anti-American like any Jihadist group. …And the beat goes on and on!

#ex cult #cult stuff #stephenjaymorris #poets of tumblr #american politics #poetry #autobiography #religious cults #death cults #republicans #conservatism #anarchism

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helmetice2 · 2 years

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7 Simple Techniques For Deciding to quit drinking alcohol Information

Consuming is largely allowed as a social activity and a method to deal along with anxiety. The consumption habits of individuals vary coming from one culture to another, along with some teams experiencing more bad emotions, others observing positive effects. Nonetheless the common design of intake is not constant across productions, with the older group consuming even more, while the much more active team might invest the much better component of the leisure opportunity on eating. It could even be a solution for insomnia or stress. When talking concerning sleeping, there's simply no bodily documentation to assist its health and wellness benefits. But there's a even more unpleasant repercussion for Americans who are sleeping denied: The federal government government has been gathering information on its very own, using the details that's been passed on to its wellness firms. That details came to Congress in 2011, and the U.S. Congress determined it is entitled to a hearing. However, alcohol normally doesn’t carry out much to ease these problems long-term. The U.S. Department of Defense's National Shooting Sports Foundation has determined that there is at least $1.7 trillion worth of recreational tobacco in military-owned centers across the world. But the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) doesn't count entertainment booze intake as something to take into consideration when specifying down brand new standards on leisure purchases and usage.

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#how to stop drinking alcohol home remedies #stopping drinking alcohol #quitting drinking alcohol #stop drinking alcohol

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silentiumdrifter-blog · 2 years

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Hey, you, listen, want to hear about a war crime?

Hello, kids, do you know what time it is?

It's "We should talk about the Russian army" time.

How much do you know about the Russian army? Specifically the mandatory military service? To understand a few bits of more recent information we need to go through a small basic education on the subject.

1) Russia is one of the countries with mandatory military service

When boys reach 18, they either find a way to be exempt (like going to university or proving a medical reason for exemption), or they are forced to go to the army for a year. If they went to the university and they finished it before they turned 27 — to the army they go, unless they immediately get accepted to study for the masters degree. And getting an official medical exemption is really fucking difficult when the mandatory medical examination that the army conducts is ready to sign you up as long as you have a pulse. There are a few other ways of dodging this shit show, but these are the main ones.

2) Russian mandatory military service is bad. It is really, really bad.

First, how do you get conscripted to the mandatory service?

You fail at getting into university. No, I don't believe those who get into university are somehow better; Yes, that guarantees that the army gets those who didn't have the IQ, the dedication, the money or the chance to avoid it.

You have no other choice. Army gets the poorest, the least educated, the most desperate.

You actually believe that Russian army is a good and just place that benefits your homeland. AKA you have been brainwashed since birth and you are ready to justify any atrocity or harassment.

You got there to avoid legal troubles for dodging it, and are just hoping to get through it.

And we are talking only about the mandatory year of service. Now think for a second which of these people are going to sign up for a contract service later on. But back to the topic. Combine the first three groups with an unbelievable degree of abuse and harassment that you might encounter at a flip of a coin. I won't list them all here, the internet is a wonderful place and the lists of horrible accounts are easy to find. Beatings, abuse, torture, blackmail, having to stand in your underwear in the snow because your commanding officer whose nose is permanently red and blood has been about 50% alcohol for the last 3 decades didn't like your tone. Suffice it to say that there is an NCO in Russia called "Mothers of Soldiers" that is dedicated specifically to helping the kids in these situations and their families. Remember this NCO you'll see it again later.

What do you do in the army? In theory — you get into shape, you learn some basic discipline, you learn the skills you might need if you decide to enlist or defend your country. In practice... well, take a guess. First, you do whatever manual labour the officers need done. Paint their country house? Sure. Paint the grass at the military quarters to make it greener? Sure. No, I am not joking. Repaint the same tank over and over? Why not. Dig something for days on end? You betcha. Refusing is pretty much not an option. Second — you march and you march and you march and you march and you learn to look really pretty and patriotic doing it. Third, those who rise to the top of this hierarchy are the ones you really want to keep appeased so you do whatever they tell you to. It is like a prison in that sense, except the warden is there with you and there is a tank in the middle of your courtyard for some reason

3) it is constantly getting worse.

Remember the "Mothers of Soldiers" NCO? Told you you'd see it again. It used to track the abuses and crimes in the army, helping parents protect their kids, helping them find where the kids were stationed, etc. In 2021 this NCO basically stopped its operation and now serves as more or less a small info-service that gives out some recommendations, and that's it. Why? Because in 2021 Russian government signed into law new criteria used to determine if an organisation should be considered a foreign agent. Pursuing, storing or sharing any information about

How many soldiers are stationed and where,

Moral and psychological state of the troops,

Status and result of any investigations of crimes within the army

These three key types of information basically became illegal to pursue for any organisation, lest it be considered a "foreign agent" and most likely forced to close after some time. If you are curious how that is done — look at the case of "Memorial", which tracked the history of repressions in the Soviet Union.

So what does this mean? It means that if during that year of mandatory service you get beaten, abused and tortured, you have to REALLY hope that the system that created those abusing you for some reason decides to protect you. No spoiler alert necessary for the chances of that.

So, now with all of that out of the way — why is this relevant and why should you care?

Since the beginning of the "special operation" aka "war crime fest 2022" Putin has been consistently stating that there are no boys from the mandatory military service in Ukraine, only those who serve under contract. There are a few problems with that:

BULLSHIT.

There have been multiple reports of these conscripts being forced to sign a contract under the threat of violence. Care to guess how many cases will ever be proven? I think 5, to performatively punish 3 officers who will be blamed for the whole fiasco.

Starting from the 22 of February multiple families suddenly reported losing any and all contact with their kids who were going through the mandatory military service at the time. "Mothers of Soldiers" NCO reported multiple calls from terrified mothers who didn't know where their kids suddenly disappeared. Those who later managed to re-establish contact suddenly learned, that their kids were in Ukraine, fighting a war. To any American reading this — imagine that one of your friends disappeared and in 5 days you get a terrified message from them saying they were forced to fight in Iraq and don't want to die. I don't know if the messages from a Russian soldiers that the Ukrainian ambassador read at the UN are real, not for certain. But they sound terrifyingly real.

On the 9th of March Putin himself was forced to admit that "there were several separate cases of presence of conscripts in Ukraine". When the official admission says several sources — that means the real number is too big to hide or deny.

This is literally a mad dictator forcing kids to commit war crimes, simple as that.

Class dismissed.

#this is what the corruption at the core leads to #Most of you don't seem to yet realize the degree of exactly HOW fucked up the situation really is #And if anyone tries to say that he didn't give the order to do this — he built the fucking system that did it for him #Ukraine #Russia #war #context #soldiers #army #children #manipulation #war crime #victims #system #The well keeps on giving...

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mooniefics · 3 years

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— beck and call

pairings : yelena / fem reader

word count : 10.2k

tags : one-sided relationship, lowkey master / servant dynamic, eventual smut, mild body worship, dom / sub undertones, power imbalance

warnings : contains nsfw, mildly dub-con at some points, yelena being physically rough w you for disobedience

summary : serving as yelena's personal guard turned out to yield many unexpected consequences.

to say that you were unnerved by the task of guarding an anti-marleyan volunteer would be an understatement.

you hadn't quite digested the fact there even existed a world beyond the walls that had towered over you for your entire life, looming high in the sky like a reminder that you would be trapped, penned like an animal for the rest of your prospective future. that had been your initial motivation to become a soldier, to at least advance to a garrison position where you could have a taste of exclusive information regarding what lay beyond the stone and metal bearings. but in the final year of your basic training, everything had changed. there were talks of outlandish things, of traitors from another land that had hidden amongst the native people, talks of islands and foreign soil and something more than the confines of the walls.

upon graduating, you had ultimately chosen the scouting legion, seeing how the garrison was quickly being disbanded and the remaining soldiers that hadn't stepped into their early days of retirement were joining the aforementioned regiment. the benefits only seemed to become greater and greater with the extinction of titans, the whispers of allies and retribution and rebuilding a lost legacy of your people. but somehow, all that novel luster had become muted, completely darkened by the imposing presence of this singular individual seated before you. you had only been debriefed on their name and role in military operations before your assignment, leaving you worryingly unprepared for arguably the most important assignment of your career.

the sound of your name passing from your squad leader's lips grounded you, the formal introduction quickly drawing to a close as he relayed the information to the striking foreigner. "she will be your personal escort for the remainder of your stay. if you have any questions regarding the island, feel free to ask her at any time."

"wonderful." their voice was rich, smooth with confidence and underlined with something unfamiliar—it was the way their lips rounded out the first syllable, or perhaps the way they spoke from the depths of their throat.

you felt your back stiffen as they rose from their seat, somehow rising taller and taller, their stature reaching much higher than anyone you'd ever met. immediately, your right hand clamped into a fist, thudding over your heart as your left arm hooked behind your back, spitting out your full name and designation just as you had while saluting hundreds of times. "i'm incredibly grateful for this opportunity to occupy you. thank you for all that you and the volunteers have done for paradis."

you were shocked that your voice hadn't quivered with the way their eyes dragged down your body, grey and barren of any emotion besides a hint of intrigue, sharp features framed by short, fair hair. they were strikingly handsome, masculine yet feminine at the same time, an indiscernible sort of beauty that perplexed and enthralled you.

"no need to thank me, soldier." whether they were assuring or commanding you, you didn't know, only cognizant of how they nearly purred out your title. swallowing, you lowered your hands, standing at ease and forcing yourself to not look to your superior for encouragement.

"then i shall show you to your lodgings. please follow me."

you forced yourself to turn your back to them and take a step, then another, mentally counting them one by one until you reached the door. you could hear their heavy footfalls following behind you, the distance steadily beginning to close until you forced your own pace to quicken. on the silent walk out of the management building, you had found a speed that worked, one long stride of theirs equaling two of yours, leaving you straining to keep a comfortable yet polite space between the both of you. you risked a glance back, having to crane your head up to catch a glimpse of their face. they had been staring idly at the back of your head, meeting your eyes when you turned to briefly face them, the moment cut short by your own haste to fix your view back onto the path before you.

"how shall i address you?" you attempted to fill the cool void of discomfort that had suddenly settled in the air around you, shoulders tense and brow taut.

"anything works."

their answer offered nothing in return to your inquiry, the faint image of their face flitting across your mind. you hadn't looked at them long enough to commit their features to memory, but you had looked enough to remember their startlingly cold eyes, angular nose and full lips, sharp jaw and heavy brow.

"m-miss yelena?" you attempted, fighting the urge to nervously fidget or give away any sign of your unease.

"if it suits you." was their final reply before the two of you fell silent once again.

the lack of discussion persisted through the remainder of the journey, the only sounds occupying the space being the fall of your boots against the ground and the jingle of your keyring that you drew from your pocket to unlock the front door. you stood aside to hold it open as she walked in, feeling an odd sensation flutter in the pit of your stomach when she had to duck under the frame to enter. the housing itself wasn't extravagant, only a single open room with a desk, bookshelf, dresser, kitchenette, bed, and a small bathroom area to the side to occupy the space, the ceiling seeming much lower than it was due to yelena's formidable height. she looked out at the room, flicking a stray lock of hair out of her eyes, face neutral and inexpressive.

"how quaint," she turned to face you, a prick of unease making your posture pin-straight once again, "is there any reason they've put us volunteers away from the main soldier barracks?"

your mind suddenly went blank at the worst of times, unknowing of the exact answer but knowing you had to over something in response. "s-simply for your comfort. we wouldn't like it to seem as if we don't trust you to stay on your own."

"ah, so considerate of you." for the first time she smiled, a barely-there tilt at the corner of her lips that made your heart stutter, "then i'll be sure to make myself at home."

she stepped slowly over to the bookshelf, dragging her fingers over the backs of the books with an apparent interest. you stayed standing where you were, unsure if you should leave then or wait a bit longer for just the right moment. something about her presence was unnerving, but there was also an undeniable allure that you almost gravitated to, despite her being a stranger.

"do you need anything else?" you piped up, letting your hands link behind your back, fingers twisting together.

"not that i can think of." each word seemed scripted, as if she'd practiced this entire conversation a dozen times before it'd ever happened.

"then i'll be on my way." you shakily smiled in an attempt to seem put together, hoping that she didn't immediately see through the weak front, "i'll be back in a couple of hours to escort you to dinner."

you bowed and took your leave, almost desperate to escape her all-consuming gaze and find refuge outside her line of sight. but even after you'd shut the door behind you and stepped off the porch, well on your way down the path you'd taken, you could still feel how her eyes had examined every fine detail of your stance, analyzing every shift and subtle movement you made with a calculating look. deep down, you already knew that this position would be completely exhausting from the get-go.

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

you had fulfilled your typical nightly routine—fetch yelena from her quarters to escort her to the cafeteria, go your separate ways and sit at your usual tables after getting food, finish your dinner with five minutes to spare in the dining hour to go inform yelena that it was time for her to wrap up her meal so you could take her back. she'd followed you down the usual path, now lit with newly placed street lamps that turned on after the sun sunk below the horizon and night fell. there had been nothing out of the ordinary, aside from the way the volunteer table had eyed you with a formerly absent intrigue when you came to speak to yelena.

that comfortable distance you'd kept between the two of you had slowly been narrowing over the last few days, a development which had peaked both your curiosity and your anxiety. while you still kept yourself a few paces ahead of her, you could feel how close her presence had become, an almost physical weight that settled itself over your back and urged you to walk faster and faster to escape its grasp. but you knew that she was all too good at reading your body language, somehow having familiarized herself with even the finest idiosyncrasies that incriminated you in just about a month, an understanding that had only grown deeper as more and more time had passed. although you felt as if you'd gained the upper hand for a few days when you realized that she always let a bit of emotion slip in her large, ashen eyes when you said something just enough out of the ordinary to catch her interest, any progress you thought you'd made was quickly squandered by her own advancements. today was no different, another morning and afternoon filled with dodging the occasional pervasive question from her about the simplest of things.

were you an only child? had you been closer to your mother or father when you were younger? did you join the scouts to explore the world or because you simply found no value in living out your life doing something different? they had started out with an ambiguous end-goal, but slowly evolved into even more unprofessional matters—attempts to provoke a discussion about your love life, what you might look for in a prospective partner, whether you wanted to settle down after you retired or stay unattached for the remainder of your life.

you always dodged, and she always let up for a while, lulling you into a sense of safety that was always broken by that same question again, worded differently but asking for an answer that was the same as the last. the more you ran from her company, the more she seemed to push it upon you, pleased when you would slip up and get flustered when she caught you off guard. so you held your ground this evening, even when your fingers quivered at the realization that she was practically peering over your shoulder, watching you unlock the door to her quarters with just barely enough space separating you to not feel her breath fanning down the back of your neck.

you quickly opened the door and began moving to hold it open for her like you always did, but felt a large hand resting at your shoulder, prompting you to quickly spin on your heel to face her. she was usually finished with her casual interrogating by this hour, which was why you were more than surprised to see that she was staring down at you, having lowered yourself to your level enough for you to not have to tilt your head completely back to meet her eye.

you took an instinctive step back, flinching at the sound of the door falling shut behind you, effectively caging you in between it and the woman before you. pale, dangerously alert irises traversed your expression, drinking in every small feature that had been drawn back into a confused look, stomach already knotting into a twisted tangle of warmth and icy panic.

"are you afraid of me?"

the immediate answer sat on the tip of your tongue, lips parting to deliver the lie you had ready for such an inquiry. but something in her eyes spoke to you, silently, warning you not to give into dishonesty. you couldn't possibly admit to still being fearful of her, not when you were meant to be the powerful one in this relationship. you weren't supposed to say yes, but you also found yourself unable to lie as you always did, not when the path you'd walked with her was still worryingly empty and you felt the hard wood of the door now pressing unforgivingly into your back with each minuscule step back.

"sh-should i be?" you cursed your stammer, betraying your evident lack of control, the only redeeming aspect being the non-committal implication that responding with another question held.

that seemed to throw her off a bit, owlish eyes slowly blinking at you as she thought. even up close like this, you couldn't identify a single flaw in her appearance—pale skin smooth like porcelain, unconcerned by any sort of natural imperfections, hair like fine silk and eyes piercingly bright, yet clouded like a stormy sky. you squeaked at a hand seizing your collar, right hand instinctively flying down to the scabbard strapped around your thigh, clammy palm shakily clenching around the hilt of your blade, the other clamping firmly around her wrist.

she only smirked at the presumed threat, pressing herself even closer to you, enough that you could feel the radiant heat of her lips just barely grazing your own. you suppressed the trembling threatening to shake through your every limb, beginning to feel lightheaded with the effort to contain your quickening breaths, swallowing down your dread, forcing yourself to meet her gaze when she spoke.

"if it suits you. it doesn't affect me either way, does it?"

you just barely shook your head side to side, not realizing you were rising up onto your tiptoes until she pulled you forward that last inch by your shirt, eyes falling shut as her lips melded easily against yours. an inexplicable warmth flourished in your chest, heart tripping up to match the frantic speed of your thoughts, fingers clenching around her slender, clothed wrist. you forced yourself back with a sharp intake of breath, backing yourself far enough into the door that you could feel the wood digging into the small of your back.

"m-miss yelena, you can't—!"

she didn't allow you to finish, tugging you back to your previous position with a low huff, the faint snap of a stitch popping somewhere on your collar going unregarded as you let out a small noise of surprise, wide eyes relenting and squeezing shut. a voice in the back of your mind screamed for you to draw your knife, push her away, force her into her quarters, anything but just standing there and allowing her to exert such a humiliating power over you. but it was so much easier to sink into her grasp, to feel her fingers slowly relax and hold you at a comfortable height rather than force you up, to allow the hot flush of an unknown intimacy to settle deep into your skin.

you'd been kissed before, it wasn't as if she stole your first chance from you, but it had never been like this. you had only brushed the surface of gentle pecks and lingering hands on the other's face until you both giggled and pulled away, never faced with such a certain confidence that almost frightened you more than it allured you, an unspoken order that left you at her mercy rather than on equal footing. and though you'd all but forgotten about your initial rejection, yelena had not, chastising you with a firm bite to your lower lip that drew a less-than-composed whimper from the back of your throat.

"i would advise you to not dictate what i can and cannot do in the future." she stated firmly, tone devoid of any personal inflection, barely pulling away enough for you to meet her stare, hand tightening around your collar once more, "understood?"

"y-yes, miss yelena." you barely whispered, nodding affirmatively. a flicker of amusement momentarily lightened her expression when you drew your tongue over the aching skin of your lips, the taste of faint copper and black tea clinging to your taste buds.

she slowly slackened her grip, not even so much as blinking as she straightened her posture and reached past you to open the door, allowing you a moment to scamper out of her path and pull your shirt back into place with trembling hands. "then, you are dismissed, soldier."

she didn't spare you a second glance before proceeding into her quarters, shutting the door behind her without another word. you stood dumbly for a moment, licking over your bottom lip once more, just then realizing how shallow and quick your breathing was. you steadied yourself enough to lock her door, shaking away the mental fog of such an abrupt change of scenery, pulling your jacket tighter around you to make up for the lack of her warmth pressing into you, confused as to why you had just allowed yourself to be ordered around by the individual that you were meant to be keeping in check. the walk back to your dorm was blurry at best, a few good-nights from your colleagues that prompted a hum of acknowledgement, thankfully nothing that required you to recount your daily fulfilled duties or anything past a few minutes prior.

even after you'd shed your clothes, pointedly ignoring how wrinkled your shirt front had become, cleaned yourself up and crawled into the isolated comfort of your bed, you found yourself unable to sleep. perhaps you could learn from this experience, remind yourself at all times to put even more distance between the two of you. maybe you would have to stop conversing with her so casually, or perhaps your best option would be to cut your losses and request an assignment change, consequences or record mark-ups be damned. but as you tossed and turned on your mattress, burying your face into your pillows and trying to rid your skin of any memory of her touch, a voice at the back of your head ceaselessly murmured, a rambled premonition of more turbulence to come.

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

this day marked five weeks since the initial incident, there had been no activity like it since—although you couldn't say whether you thought that was a bad thing or not. not to say that you hadn't been keeping your distance, the first few days were spent cautiously looking over your shoulder, making sure to keep her even further than arm's length but still close enough to guarantee that she couldn't slip away on her own. she behaved respectfully enough, although she herself seemed to be acting as if nothing had even happened, greeting you like normal and allowing you to escort her to meals and strategy meetings when necessary, despite how she'd affirmed that you weren't to give her any orders.

you hadn't reported the infraction to any superiors, knowing that you would get caught up in an unnecessary fuss that might even get you stuck at the bottom of the ranking list once again, an unthinkable outcome that only made you sure that the right decision was to keep your mouth shut. the previous afternoon was the first time yelena had made a special request, describing how unfortunate it was that she was lacking just a few proper amenities that would really make her lodgings "feel just like home". your persistent hesitance had eased after the first week of safety, and you fulfilled your responsibility of maintaining her comfort by arriving early this morning, toting a small bag of a dark ground powder and cups.

you were surprised to see that yelena was already awake upon your arrival, seated at a table that looked far too small for her, reading one of the many books from her provided bookshelf. you exchanged polite greetings, her not rising from her place until you'd lit the fire beneath the stove and set out a plate and cup for her at the counter, stowing away the rest in whatever free space you could find. you stood by while she took care of making whatever it was she wanted herself, noting the fragrant richness that had filled the air upon her steeping the powder in heated water.

"they only serve black tea in the cafeteria," she said, speaking to no one in particular, plucking a ladle from the utensil rack, "it's been ages since i had a cup of coffee in the morning."

the heat of the stove was beginning to warm the room, prompting you to shed your jacket and place it on the back of the chair yelena had not been previously seated at. your shirt beneath it was more forgiving, a thin material that had always hung a bit loosely from your shoulders, great for the hotter days when you were still expected to be in uniform.

"have you ever had a cup of coffee?" her voice interrupted your meandering stream of thought, the sound of liquid being poured into a cup faintly catching your attention.

"no, i don't think i have."

"would you like to try some?"

the offer stoked the spark of bothersome curiosity, the scent filling the air and mingling with the ambient sound of crackling wood and the feel of the hot air making you want to accept. perhaps this was her way of making amends, or just doing something pleasant for the worker that she was made to follow behind like their second shadow.

"if it's not too much trouble, then.."

"of course it isn't."

you felt a light sweat beginning to bead down your back, pulling your handkerchief from your pocket and dabbing at your neck. this space wasn't properly suited for a stove to be used, seeing as the unlatching mechanisms on the window had been removed for the sake of thwarting any sort of curfew breaking by the volunteers, meaning there was little ventilation aside from the small chimney extending out of the kitchenette area. you stole a glance at yelena, now opening the cabinet that you had strained to reach with ease.

the memory of her hand fisting your shirt, the collar that now hugged just the slightest bit looser at the base of your neck, the long healed-over bite that had left the soft flesh of your lips feeling raw for the following few days. the external heat of the still burning stove was only intensified by the flush climbing up to your cheeks, the desire to release a button or two on your shirt and free some of your skin to the open air becoming undeniable. it felt a bit ironic that the one time you'd properly stepped into her quarters for more than a quick minute to help her get something sorted was the one time the tension that always hung in the air between the two of you was replaced by something tangibly suffocating, the sweltering heat that made you kick off your blankets in the dreary silence at night when the recollection of her kiss relentlessly looped in your mind and chased away any thought of sleep.

you hooked a finger on the collar of your shirt, gently tugging it to the side to absentmindedly press the soft cloth over the skin, wiping away any bothersome perspiration that would leave you uncomfortable by the time you were allowed to change out of your uniform and shower it away.

"what's that?" your eyes darted up at her question, catching sight of the two plated teacups in her hands before you met her gaze.

"i beg your pardon?" you asked meekly.

"that. at your shoulder." you glanced down to where your handkerchief had previously been.

"oh, do you mean this?" she nodded when you pointed to the raised line of skin marring your shoulder, a thick scar that you'd stopped fussing over after realizing that it was an inevitable outcome. "it's a scar," you clarified, tucking your personal cloth back in your pocket, "just about everyone in the military has the same one."

she didn't respond, but held your gaze as she proceeded to the table to set the cups down. you'd become more accustomed to these silent requests, and you knew that she was telling you to continue.

"you work with the equipment engineers, right?" she nodded. "then you've seen our harnesses. all those leather straps end up digging into our skin and leaving scars pretty much all over. although, i did practice on the omnidirectional gear a bit more than all the other recruits during basic training to increase my proficiency, so mine may be deeper.."

you tensed as she approached, slow, deliberate steps steadily closing the distance between the two of you until she was right in front of you. she had started stooping down more often around you, only when she was directly addressing you alone, but it was something that you noticed all the same. a part of you wanted to feel offended, that she thought it necessary to lower yourself to your level as if you were beneath her in a way besides physical stature, but you couldn't deny that you enjoyed the exclusive treatment. she never seemed concerned with doing any sort of thing with anyone else—not with her colleagues, not with other soldiers of or below your ranking, not with any of your own superiors, only you. in a way, it made you feel acknowledged.

"could i see?"

"huh?" was your unprofessional response, but she didn't allow you any time to correct it.

"your scars. where else do you have them?"

"oh." you swallowed, forcing yourself to look up into her steely eyes, "well, i have them on the soles of my feet, and around my thighs, mostly around my torso."

a hand on your abdomen made your back go stiff, her touch pressing lightly over your shirt. "here?"

you nodded, small and timid before her, a trickle of sweat beginning to slide down your back. you realized that you had never had to look down at yelena, not until this present moment where she had knelt down on one knee in front of you, holding your gaze for just a moment before she undid a single button from the bottom of your shirt, glancing up at you as if to check for any sign of refusal before she undid another, then another.

there was nothing forceful about her motions today, nimble fingers patiently unfastening each clasp with care until your shirt revealed your midsection. one slender hand pulled aside the cotton fabric, the other reaching out, just barely grazing the skin of your stomach where the long, pale scar from your utility belt stretched horizontally across your body. her fingertips were warm from handling the kitchenware, but the shiver that crawled up your spine was cold, almost electric, a strange sensation squeezing around your heart and lungs, making each breath quicker than the last.

"was it painful?" she asked quietly, a tinge of earnesty lining her words, features entirely relaxed as they always were.

you let out a breath you didn't know you'd been holding, voice barely reaching a whisper. "yes."

she focused her eyes onto the marred skin, following the raised line of flesh to your sides, brow cinching upwards the slightest bit at the sight of another carving down your waist, following the curvature of your ribs.

"what resilience.." she murmured, free hand returning to undo the remaining buttons of your shirt, "determination is such a beautiful trait, don't you think?" her eyes flitted up to meet yours, sharp and observant, fingers gingerly wrapping around your waist, thumb stroking down your lumbar. "for most, i have to hear it in their voice, or through their words—but it has always been different with you." she pulled a button free. "i see it in your eyes, the way you carry yourself, it's written all over your body." another undone button, you could feel the warmth of her breath fanning across your stomach, the graze of her fingertips tracing up your side and halting at the cloth wrappings over your breasts. "are there more under this?"

your knees felt a few flattering words away from buckling, each gentle touch making the fine hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. you nodded, lips parting to take in a much-needed deep breath, realizing that your shirt was now completely open, exposing the entirety of your scarred torso aside from what remained covered by your chest bindings. your fingers curled into your palm, trembling, just then noticing how soft yelena's hands were in comparison to your own, absent of callous and work-roughened skin. you bit at the inside of your cheek, blinking down at her as you watched a thin finger trace the seam of the cloth, finding the tucked end within moments and gently pulling it free.

a few loud knocks at the door were startling enough to make you jump, head snapping to the side to face the front of the house, a muffled call of your last name from the other side making an anxious knot twist painfully tight deep in your gut. you quickly stepped away, leaving yelena kneeling on the floor, struggling to button up your shirt without even bothering to fix your chest cloth. as soon as you'd gotten yourself situated, you opened the door to find your squad leader awaiting you on the other side.

"is everything alright? breakfast started five minutes ago."

you hoped that the disbelief on your face could be taken as the expression of someone who had simply lost track of time. "i apologize, sir! m-miss yelena put in a request for marleyan coffee yesterday, and i was simply waiting for her to finish before i escorted her to the cafeteria."

you forced yourself to stay composed, trying to focus on the impassive face of your squad leader. there was a stark difference between the emotionlessness of yelena and that of everyone else around you, she somehow made her lack of any sort of feeling or warmth a beautiful kind of coldness, unlike the unnatural stoicism of your superiors. you saw his mouth open to reply, but you were both surprised by a sudden presence behind you, a firm hand at your shoulder, his eyes moving from looking down at you to looking up at the woman behind you, a flicker of genuine unease flitted across his hardened features.

"please don't fault her for my lack of punctuality," she said, a false sincerity lightening her usual low tone, "i simply wanted to enjoy a taste of home, is all. is my presence imperative?"

"i was only making sure everyone was accounted for." your squad leader asserted, staring up at her in an obvious attempt to intimidate that you knew would fail, "as long as you're being properly monitored, do as you please."

"understood." her fingers curled around your shoulder, gently urging you back, away from the door, "then i won't dawdle any longer, i'll join you all in the cafeteria momentarily."

yelena shut the door for you as soon as you took a step back, waiting until the steps of your squad leader had descended off of the porch and disappeared down the path before speaking to you. "i do hope i didn't get you in trouble."

you turned on your heel to face her, feeling a slight flutter in your chest at the sight of her already having lowered herself to your height. "oh, no, you don't have to worry about that.. he's always been a bit on the uptight side of things."

the corners of her lips perked up into the faintest smile before she proceeded back to the table, pressing a finger to the side of one of the teacups. "the coffee's gone cold now. my apologies for the distraction."

distraction, the wry thought flitted across your mind. you guessed that word was suitably to describe allowing her to nearly undress you before the sun had even fully risen in the sky. this was becoming a dangerous game, an ever-lengthening round of cat and mouse, and each day that passed made your more and more certain that you were the one who was running despite your inherent position of power over her. there was something absolutely captivating about her, whether it be the air of mystery that no amount of questions could dispel, or the way that she could practically bring you to your knees with just a few careful words—the more thought you put into it, the more instances of appeal that you seemed to find that only made you want to sink deeper and deeper into the depths that was her subtle control over you.

"i just don't want us to arrive late and miss out on anything." you said lamely, empty words to fill the air as you moved across the room to grab your jacket.

"perhaps another time." she replied, removing the dishes from the table to deposit them in the sink, leaving you with that sole promise that insinuated much more than just another cup of coffee.

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"miss yelena, i don't know if we're allowed to be in this section of the building—"

"no one has stopped us yet, have they?" yelena didn't turn back to address you, only continuing forward with that long stride that took two quick steps of your own to match.

she was correct in the regard that no one had questioned her presence in the west wing of the management building, and the few that had begun to object stopped immediately upon catching sight of you following obediently behind her. you felt a bit like a prop, being used as almost a badge of clearance by the one and only individual that you were meant to keep from unauthorized locations such as this one. but her flat assertion that she had important business that gave you nothing in the way of information of direction before she'd taken off for the barracks, leaving you only able to chase after her and hope that no one figured out that she wasn't supposed to be there in the event that she truly wasn't meant to be.

you didn't have long to ruminate on your circumstances before you arrived at a door flanked by a single soldier, a young man that you recognized as someone affiliated with the more well-known soldiers from the 104th graduating class. though you didn't recall his name, you nodded politely to him as he opened the door for yelena, trailing closely behind her while still trying to peek around her slender frame. it was one of the smaller meeting rooms, a large window providing a fair amount of natural illumination down onto the round table, the sole occupant being another one of the anti-marleyan volunteers.

"glad to see you could make it." onyankopon smiled broadly up at yelena, his warm gaze flitting to you momentarily before traveling back to his associate, "no trouble, i assume?"

"none at all." she replied as she took a seat at the head of the table, looking as if she belonged there more than any of the superiors you'd seen seated there, "this one made sure no one interrupted our trip."

you flushed at the praise, standing pin straight beside her chair, hands lowering from behind your back to at your sides, trying not to let the enjoyment of her commendation show on your face. he turned his attention to you, inspiring a quick skip of your heart, fingers tapping nervously at your thighs.

"it's great to hear that yelena has been treating you well." he said matter-of-factly, but a cocked eyebrow and tilt of his head seemed to request a verbal confirmation of his statement.

you blinked, your words catching in your throat as your eyes involuntarily glanced to yelena, an instinctive desire to hold your tongue in the face of speaking about her, an odd sort of insecurity concerning your character flaring in your chest. but that split second of silence was all that she needed to take up the task of answering onyankopon, planting an elbow down on the tabletop and resting her chin in her palm.

"i have been treating her well." she affirmed, almost sounding bored, tilting her head to address you as she reached out and took the hand of yours that was closest to her, drawing it close to her face as she examined your expression, "isn't that right?"

you swallowed, mouth dry, nodding at yelena before remembering that you were meant to be answering onyankopon. "oh, y-yes. miss yelena has been very easy to work with."

pale eyes glimmered at your positive answer, mouth twitching upwards into that rare, barely noticeable smile. you felt your heart jump into your throat as she brought her lips to your knuckles, planting a soft, brief kiss over the back of your hand before gently placing it down at your side. she looked at you as if she knew exactly what you were thinking, like she could hear that unspoken worry of whether she should be doing this in front of her colleague, like she was giving the silent reply that she could do as she pleased.

"then, shall we begin?" onyankopon's voice brought you back to the present, shooting you another momentary glance before fixing his eyes on yelena.

"oh, right." she turned back to you, "be a dear and leave us for a moment to chat."

the mix of confusion at her request and surprise at the affectionate title halted your thoughts. "i'm sorry, miss yelena, but i don't think i'm allowed to do that."

your heart sank as you watched a look of annoyance draw across her features, large eyes narrowing, brow knitting together. she didn't speak for a moment, almost like she was waiting for you to take back your refusal and head on your way without any further discussion. when you did neither, she frowned, reaching out her hand once more, her fingers drawing up your palm to wrap around your wrist.

you nearly yelped as she clinched her grasp almost painfully tight, thumb pressing down hard over the bone at the side of your wrist, nails digging in your skin. her voice was low when she spoke, dangerously commanding and castigating, each word carefully enunciated.

"i said go."

only after you'd earnestly nodded did she release you, allowing you to scamper out of the room, blinking away the tears that had begun to well in your eyes from your stinging skin and the way she'd spoken to you. you took your place at the side of the door unoccupied by the soldier you'd seen before entering, fingers shakily tracing over the underside of your wrist.

though you weren't bleeding, the skin felt raw and irritated, your pulse racing fast in your veins. perhaps it wasn't so bad that you'd left them in there on their own, seeing as the older, more experienced guard was also standing by, well aware that there was no one monitoring them in the meeting room. so you obediently stood and waited, straining to make out coherent words from their muffled voices, contemplating why seeing yelena upset with you was so distressing.

why had you allowed her to order you around? why had you even complied with her demands instead of outright refusing like you were supposed to? why were you worried that she would still be angry with you by the time she walked out of that meeting room? you couldn’t understand what concerned you so deeply about what yelena thought of you, but somehow, the overbearing silence of the empty hallway made it even more difficult to wrap your head around your thoughts. you were so wrapped up in your panicked attempt at contemplation that you didn’t even notice the sound of their footsteps approaching from the other side of the door, only torn from your mind when the door opened from beside you. the two marleyans emerged, laughing affably together, exchanging temporary farewells until they could see each other at dinner that evening.

you looked up at her anxiously, wishing she’d spare you a glance for even just a moment instead of keeping her gaze fixed on the only other individuals populating the space. you hid your hands behind your back rather than in your pockets, knowing that it’d look horrendously unprofessional. but before you could worry about anyone catching sight of the reddened marks, the familiar soldier addressed you directly.

“i do look forward to working more closely with you in the future, i don’t believe we’ve met before. ” he said, outstretching a hand for you to shake, “floch forster.”

you quickly tugged the sleeve of your coat over your injured wrist, grasping his hand and giving a firm up and down, only offering your own name and a polite nod in return. you didn’t exactly know what he meant by working together in the future, but you assumed that it was in reference to your shared position of personal guards to marleyan volunteers.

you tensed at the familiar weight of a hand on your shoulder, feeling a firm squeeze that you knew all too well. “then we shall be going now. come.”

you immediately complied, giving a brief goodbye to the two men before proceeding quickly behind yelena, practically at her heels as the two of you walked further and further down the hall, shrouded in another bout of tense silence. you escorted her out of the building without issue, through the barracks and all the way to her lodgings, receiving nothing in the way of assurance or acknowledgment the entire way.

you wanted to speak up for yourself, ask if she was angered with you, anything to fill the quiet void, but you couldn't bring your mouth to push the words free. you hoped that she'd at least offer you her usual goodbye, as inherently lifeless and out of polite necessity as it may be, but it didn't come even as you unlocked the door to her quarters and held it open for her to enter, not even turning back before she sat herself at her desk and got to work on the clutter of papers occupying it.

you left her, feeling strangely heavy with defeat, unable to focus on anything for long before your mind strayed back to her upset expression, or the physical evidence of her displeasure with you. over the next hours, you constantly checked your watch, counting down the minutes to dinner, to when you'd be able to justify being in her presence and hopefully receive some sort of indicator that you were in the clear. you'd always been someone who did what was asked of you, a people pleaser—but there was something different about the inclination you felt towards yelena. it wasn't the kind of obedience that you gave to your superiors, she wasn't anything close to your superior in a technical sense, but somehow it felt natural, a servitude borne out of free will rather than one determined by ranking.

you knew you hadn't done anything wrong by denying her initially, but yet you still hoped for her forgiveness.

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

you quivered at the feeling of her lips sucking at the already marked skin of your neck, thighs squeezing tighter around her waist, her nails digging deep enough into them that they nearly threatened to tear the fabric of your pants. you swallowed down yet another moan, one hand working its way deeper into her short hair, the other clenching tightly to the fabric of her barely-buttoned dress shirt. your soft, shuddering breaths filled the space of the open air around you, the fear of knowing your squad leader was just outside the door waiting for a reply, adjacent to the wall that she'd pushed you up against despite your meek warnings that dinner would be starting any minute now, was almost tangible in your stomach.

she pulled away from the reddened flesh with a low hum, nipping at your ear as she demanded, "make him go away."

you barely nodded, eyes screwing shut when she began yet another bruising assault to your shoulder, not even giving you enough time to collect yourself and speak. "i apologize, s-sir. miss yelena wasn't f-feeling well, so i brought her meal h-h-here instead of escorting her to the cafeteria..!"

you nearly whimpered as her teeth sank into the soft junction between your neck and shoulder, silently praying to any higher power that may be listening for your superior to just leave already. "understood. please return the plates to the cafeteria before they close up and make it to the dormitories before curfew."

"y-yes, sir..!"

you could barely count his descending steps down the porch over the sound of your own blood roaring in your ears, only completely assured of his absence when she sighed against your skin, soothing the ache with a few apologetic licks, pressing her lips everywhere they could reach. you often found yourself recalling the first time this had happened, when the two of you were sitting at the table in her quarters and she had been apologizing for the day she'd ordered you out of the meeting room. you could still remember how her touch had trailed from stroking at your wrist, crescent nail prints still occupying your skin, to cupping your face, drawing you close to kiss her again and again—the heat of her proximity, how her hands had felt and caressed every inch of your body, whispering a breathless, endless stream of praises into your ear as you came apart under her.

though you had vowed to yourself that wouldn't allow it to happen again, that that night would be your first and only instance of giving into that weakness she'd slowly but surely carved into you, but you found yourself sinking into her arms when she beckoned you, sewing the buttons of your shirt back into place without complaint after the nights where she had become impatient and accidentally popped them free, staring at your naked body in the mirror after your long showers and tracing your fingers over the bruises she'd sucked and bitten into your tender skin.

she only marked you in places where you could hide them beneath your clothes, places which assured that she would be the sole individual to see them when she stripped you bare, only to add more and more. there was no set time between those late evenings, sometimes the interval would be less than a few days, and other times it would stretch out for weeks with no indication as to when the next occasion would come. but when it did, any semblance of self-restraint had completely diminished.

"you're such a good pet for me.." she cooed, her words sending a warm spark through every inch of you.

she'd become fond of calling you that, and a part of you wondered if that was all she saw you as, as only a pet or a possession. you'd accepted that she had the upper hand in this relationship, whatever it may be, but you couldn't help enjoying the feeling of being desired so deeply, being touched and admired in ways you'd never even imagined before you met her. your arms clasped tighter around her neck as she pulled you away from the wall, laying you out on her bed, taking a moment to strip out of her shirt before lowering herself on top of you.

her hands busied themselves ridding you of your chest wrappings, lips attentively traversing each inch of newly revealed skin, murmuring curses and sweet nothings that only made you squirm more beneath her, impatient and eager. you mewled when she'd finally settled her hands over her bare breast, large palms pressing into soft flesh, slender fingers pinching at your nipples. she turned her head up to kiss you, tongue outlining the seam of your lips before sliding into your mouth, claiming it as her own.

you were left panting when she pulled away despite its briefness, hazy, low-lidded eyes finding her own, intoxicated by that carnal look, dark pupils nearly overtaking the piercing grey of her irises. she only smirked at your lack of composure, dipping her head back down to suck and bite at the valley of your breasts, your fingers reflexively tightening in her hair. your hips bucked up into nothing, desperate for any sort of friction, much to yelena's amusement.

"aren't you just the neediest little thing?" she paused to lave her tongue over a pert bud, drawing another heated sigh from you as you nodded, hoping that your agreement could persuade her to not spend so much time teasing you.

she granted you the slightest relief, taking your nipple between your lips and sucking at it, the hand not occupied with another breast trailing down the scar etched into your side, following the path down to your navel to begin unbuttoning your pants. each second seemed to drag on longer than the last, and though you knew that she wasn't purposely drawing out the process of undressing you, it was still not enough. you were practically kicking your underwear to the floor by the time they made their way around your ankles, skin still burning hot despite being fully exposed to the air.

"p-please, miss yelena.." you whimpered at the feeling of her hand tracing up and down your inner thigh, occasionally stopping to stroke across the raised lines of skin that had been inscribed into your skin by the series of belts and buckles on your gear harness, but never proceeding that final inch up to where you needed it.

she pulled away to let out a low chuckle, peering up at you through dark lashes, bare chest pressed flush against your stomach. she drank in the way your face shifted as she rested the pad of her thumb over your clit, rubbing languid circles over it as her pointer finger dipped down your cunt, instantly slick with your arousal.

"you're so worked up from just that?" she taunted, speaking at barely a murmur, "or was it because somebody was listening?"

you felt the knot of anticipation drawing tight in the pit of your stomach, watching as she took her fingers in her mouth and licked over them, thighs shuddering when she returned to their previous position. "i-it was— i j-just— please.."

you could barely form a coherent thought, back arching up to urge your body as close to hers as you could manage, only cognizant of just how close you were to being relieved of that unbearable pressure welling within you. she only smiled, close-lipped and cunning, resting her head over your heaving chest.

"your heart is racing. i wonder how much faster i could make it go.."

you nearly whined as two fingers slid into you with little resistance, her mouth closing over a nipple, alternating between gently tugging at it with her teeth and flicking over it with the tip of her tongue. your hips rocked up into her hand, matching the pace of her wrist as your head dug back into the mattress, moans and incoherent pleas spilling from your parted lips.

you could feel yourself quickly approaching that rapturous peak, hands fisting the sheets under you, white stars blotting out your vision as she curled her fingers just right. you shuddered, gasping, eyes rolling aimlessly into the back of your head as the tension that had wound itself into every muscle finally released, coming completely undone beneath her. you pressed a shaking hand over your mouth, muffling the sound of your winded breaths, letting out a small noise when she relieved you of her fingers. you felt her lips grazing over your chest, forcing your head up to look at her with bleary eyes when their feather-light touch proceeded lower and lower down your stomach.

you had expected things to come to an end as they usually did, with her pulling her clothes back on before you even had the chance to see straight and gathering your own garments from the floor to hand to you, leaving you to walk back to your dormitories on trembling legs in your wrinkled uniform. but there was no sign of that immediate withdrawal as she gathered your thighs in her hands, lifting your legs up onto her shoulders as she pressed a brief kiss over your naval.

you licked your lips nervously, already more than too sensitive at just the feeling of her breath over your soaked cunt. you opened your mouth to meekly object or ask for just a moment longer to catch your breath, but she shushed you, her heavy-lidded gaze sending a fresh bout of heat across your skin. each little quiver of your thighs only made her grip fasten, unable to keep still as she kissed at the scars and soft flesh, drawing a stifled whimper when she stopped to suck a deep mark at a spot of untarnished skin.

you could see the pale expanse of yelena's back, pristine and absent of any previous traumas, the complete opposite of your own. the first time you'd see her undressed, you couldn't take your eyes off of her slender frame, lined with muscle from her days as a soldier but still so delicate. you'd never left any marks when she'd allow you to kiss at her neck and chest, only enough to see the rosy flush settle over her body, but by that time she was more than eager to get back to playing with you instead.

you took in a deep, unsteady breath, jaw clenching and stomach tightening as her tongue drew flat up the length of your cunt, a small moan breaking from your parted lips. she pressed forward, flicking the tip of her tongue over your clit in a merciless rhythm, holding your thighs apart to accommodate her presence each time they attempted to squeeze shut. you writhed over the sheets, her name slipping from you between high-pitched whines and labored breaths, minutes melting past in an incomprehensible blur, leaving you only cognizant of her tongue and hands dragging you back over that edge again and again.

by the time she'd released you, you could barely hold your eyes open, thighs aching from her fingers digging into them, throat raw from crying out for her and gasping in what never seemed to be enough air, feeling too exhausted to even think about making the walk back to your own room. but rather than hand your clothes to you in a silent cue for your departure, you watched her make her way back up the mattress to lay beside you, pulling your heavy, sweat-slicked body against her own. you couldn't try to refuse the comfort of her warmth, face pressing into her chest, breathing in her soft, clean scent, still occasionally trembling as you tentatively allowed your hands to cling to her.

you told yourself not to get comfortable, to try to regain control of your limbs by the time her sympathy for overworking you had worn off and she ordered you away for the night, but the demand never came. you felt a large hand settle at the base of your neck, another splaying across the small of your back, her chin resting on the crown of your head, holding you close like a lover would.

"you could stay for the night if you'd like." her tone was even and collected as it always was, but hushed, like she was murmuring a secret to you.

you knew that sleeping her had already far overstepped whatever boundary had been abandoned that night she'd first kissed you, the morning where she'd marveled at your body and commended your courage, every instance you'd obeyed her rather than carry out the simple orders you were given. it was already too late to tear yourself away from this presence that you'd grown so familiar with—the one that you had feared, the one that you now craved despite how you knew you shouldn't.

"thank you, miss yelena." you whispered hoarsely, curling into her, allowing your heavy eyes to close.

that would be the first and last time you ever spent the night in her quarters.

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

the banquet to celebrate the completion of the rail system in trost was minutes away from commencing. the speaking podium was empty for the moment, soldiers and civilians chattering amongst themselves as they waited for the military officials to gather at the stage. you were authorized to be in the private area as yelena's personal escort, seeing as she had participated in the mapping of the railroad through the district and would be acknowledged as a contributor to the advancement of paradis.

but as excited as you were to celebrate, eat good food and hopefully get a chance to drink, you weren't looking forward to transferring your position to floch forster for the remainder of the night. although, your desire to stay by yelena's side had been momentarily dissuaded by the desire to please her when she'd requested the change a few days prior. you hadn't bothered to hide your disappointment, nor did you hold back your questions.

"change to forster? but.. why?" you had asked, in the privacy of her quarters, feeling an immediate disheartening at her words.

she didn't directly respond, the hand that had been at your shoulder rising to pet at your cheek. "you trust me, don't you?"

"y-yes, but—"

"then file a request to change with him."

you couldn't explain why you had felt such a cool emptiness burrowing into your chest, a sudden spite for the other soldier beginning to fester in the back of your mind, the thought that she would choose him over you inspiring an indescribable irateness. you turned away from her hand, not thinking of how you were pouting like a child, unwilling to meet her eyes or compromise with her. you'd been fretting over how she hadn't spared you any sort of affection in the nearly two months that had passed, the fear that she'd grown tired of you an incessant whisper in your ear. but then she had reached for you, treated you gently, persuading with that hint of sincerity she rarely ever showed you.

"it would only be for the evening, i have business to attend to that night. i'm sure you've been looking forward to the celebration?" a frown tugged at your lips, only offering a small nod in reply, meeting her eyes when she guided you by your chin to face her. "then transfer with forster, have fun for the evening—you deserve it."

you couldn't help but preen under her praise, meeting her eyes, heart stuttering at the sight of her barely-there smile. you finally caved after a moment of thought, relenting to her wishes. "i'll put in a temporary transfer request tomorrow afternoon."

"thank you, dear."

despite how you weren't exactly looking forward to forster's arrival to relieve you from duty, those final words lifted your spirits just the slightest bit. perhaps she had simply been caught up in the stress of such a grand achievement, too busy attending meetings with engineers and generals and event staff to make any spare time for you for the past weeks. you had waited for weeks before, you could continue waiting if need be. you were at her beck and call, and as long as it pleased her, you were perfectly fine doing as such.

you let out a soft sigh at the sigh of floch forster approaching, weaving through the scattered crowd with a stoic, dutiful look plastered across his expression.

"good evening, floch." yelena said from beside you.

he replied with a polite good evening to both you and her, adding your name as more of an afterthought than anything, but turning his focus back to you when you still hadn't stepped away. "you can go, i'll take it from here."

your gaze flickered over to yelena, feeling yourself relax as she nodded to you, a hand resting at your shoulder to gently urge you forward. "i'll see you tomorrow morning. enjoy yourself tonight."

so you took your leave, watching the ceremony in the company of your fellow soldiers, eyes always wandering away from the speaker and to yelena at the side of the stage. the speech concluded, the crowd cheered and applauded, and everyone was directed to the banquet hall where the remainder of the event would be held. you watched yelena and floch walk off the stage with the other officials, becoming distracted for just a moment speaking to someone but having lost sight of them by the time you looked back.

you didn't see yelena for the remainder of the night, but you did as you were told, enjoying the good food, talking to your friends, avoiding any alcohol in preparation for your usual early morning. it was all over quite quickly, and the next morning came and went, business as usual for the remainder of the next few days—then came the news of eren jaeger's disappearance, then the plans of the all-hands-on-deck operation that was to be the retrieval effort for the young man, the entire scouting branch thrown into overdrive.

and, though you never mustered the courage to ask, you felt a sinking feeling deep inside, that yelena's nightly errand with floch and eren's absence were somehow connected, that there was much more going behind the scenes that you couldn't even begin to fathom.

just wanted to give u guys a little gift for my birthday (´･ᴗ･ ` )

#yelena #snk yelena #yelena x reader #yelena x reader smut #aot x reader #snk x reader #snk x y/n #snk x you #aot x you #aot x reader smut #snk x reader smut #yelena brainrot #shingeki no kyoujin x reader #shingeki no kyojin fanfiction

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mxvladdy · 3 years

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I would like to request! Can I request? Well I wish for you to consider what type of person/what kind of situation would cause the brothers to make a pact with someone. Maybe even what they would request in exchange? This can be before or after they met MC. With that out of the way, I totally binge read all of your works after my sister gushed to me about the True Form series, and just thank you??? It made me really happy reading them and it's always impressively detailed and well thought out.

Awww thank you! I’m glad it’s rave-worthy! I plan to add to it soon bc it was an absolute riot to write and research for lol

And wow this one is a toughie! I’ve actually never thought of what would make them want a pact! Hope ya like it!

Lucifer- Pact of Success

Absolutely the hardest brother to do business with, but that is probably a good thing. He is incredibly selfish with his contracts. Sure, they’ll benefit from his pact mark, but he will get the most out of it. Aside from MC he only takes requests for contracts from the human “elite”. They make wonderful feathers in his cap.

But also he takes some enjoyment in breaking them. They always get so cocky with his contracts thinking that they have him on the ropes and at their beck and call. It gives him a good chuckle, humans are so brazen considering their very short lifespan.

He destroys them slowly over time- all the little minutia he peppers in his legal bindings adds up. Not that his normal clientele ever read the fine print. But he designed it that way to make sure they don’t. All their requests are the same and so simplistic. Big boats, fancy cars, climbing the proverbial ladder faster than their friends or enemies - blah-blah-blah. At least the paperwork is easy to complete.

Very rarely does he find a contract he is excited to make. Those contracts are given to artists and craftsmen he sees potential in. He loves good art, and every artist should take pride in their work.

When it comes to the “price” of his pact it is worryingly simple. All he wants is some of their time. It sounds simple, and it is. Which is why it’s dangerous. The contract doesn’t specifically say how or the rules of it. How he takes your time is completely up to him.

Sometimes he simply comes for a drink and to ask how business is going. Or with the pacts he gives a damn about- he pops in to see progress on their artist visions or listen to their latest musings.

Other times if he grows tired of his pact holders’ ever-growing demands or ludicrous requests he comes and takes time right out of their lifespan. His visits leave them weak and fatigued though they can’t place why. He is a slow siphon of death and they are too foolhardy to notice. If he is feeling especially cruel, or sentimental he takes memories, things that a demon generally wouldn’t want.

Time with family, the first time they met the love of their life, a child’s birthday. He takes them all and leaves them with only a blurry recollection in his wake

When MC crosses his path though he is very apprehensive. He doesn’t want a pact or anything that could jeopardize Diavolo’s upcoming plans. But they make his skin itch with want. He doesn’t want them to be another trophy on his wall. He wants a mutually beneficial pact, one that almost leans in their favor and it grates him. Should/ when a pact is made he won’t use his powers on you as then he would have to take something in return. Instead, he takes his time and coaches them to be successful by their own right, though if he has to eliminate some obstacles- well they don’t need to know that.

Mammon- Pact of Riches

I love his man with all my heart, but even when he isn’t losing bets or getting tricked into pacts he still isn’t the most selective with who he conducts business with. He is the avatar of greed, after all. I guess it comes with the territory.

He scouts for already wealthy humans or people with a good head for numbers and is money smart. Some are too smart to deal with him, knowing that whatever monetary gain they are granted from him will backfire in the end (or their mama’s taught them not to make deals with strange demons). But a sucker is born every minute, and he has nothing but time on his hands.

His pacts are pretty simple and upfront. Sign on the dotted line and they get some of his wicked gamblers’ luck and more riches than one human life span could do much with. While he gets a glorified accountant and a nice percentage of their profits. It’s a win-win… for him.

See he forgets to mention that there are two sides to every coin, and his flip side is particularly detrimental to one’s health. He just so conveniently glosses over that his luck will wear out over time depending on how frequently the pact holder uses it.

But the hunger for more doesn’t. If anything that particular sensation grows into an all-consuming fire in the pit of their pitiful guts. It forces them back into the seedy basements or griming gambling halls. One more roll, one more stack of bills, just one more time and they will hit pay dirt surly! But the losses just keep coming. If one of his pact holders ends up face down in a ditch after one too many bad hands and uncontrollable greed… well ain’t nobody’s fault but their own.

He has a softer spot for humans that seek him out and treat him like a living being instead of some tool to be tossed around at will. It’s refreshing. He will actually take some care with these pacts and tell them to temper their use of his magic so they can get the most out of it in the long run. They still might run into misfortune and he is genuinely sorry for that but there is only so much he can do in the end.

With MC he doesn’t even tell them about what his pact can do or how to use it. He doesn’t want anything bad happening to his human. If they want something tell him he will do it himself no magic or pact summoning required. He wants to keep them happy and healthy for as long as his lifespan will allow.

If MC should find how to use his pact mark he will get pissed. Not so much at them but the situation in general. He’ll be upfront about the whole thing, judge him how they want but he refuses to let greed consume them too. He focuses a lot of time and energy on learning how to reel in his magic with them so they get some of the perks but none of the major downsides. Unlike with his other pacts where he lets it all just run wild (just means they use up their contact faster and he can move on to even bigger fish).

Leviathan- Pact of Wisdom and Skill

Surprisingly, despite his antisocial tendencies with “normies”, he gets around when it comes to contracts. Perhaps it’s jealousy at his other brothers or perhaps he finds collecting contracts a bit of a game on its own.

He has a small niche of people interested in his pacts. Pacts with him give people a strategic advantage in nearly any situation. Seemingly overnight his humans turn into near tactical geniuses. Because of that, he is very popular with military leaders and humans with dangerous careers.

He also makes mini contracts with foot soldiers and humans with dangerous oceanic jobs. They just want to make it out alive and he gets that. With contracts like these, he is more lenient and doesn’t ask for much. Make an offering of fancy food to Henry 2.0 or wait in line for a rare human figuring he wants. Wam-bam thank you ma’am kinda business.

This is completely different from his larger contracts. With the military contracts, he expects them to continue with their duties until they die in the field. Simple as that, he doesn’t mince words in his contract. It’s what he would do as General so he expects it from them. Should they try to define him he will get rid of them.

He takes delight in defiant contract holders. They think they are as clever as he is now. But they forget that they are using his magic. He could take his magic away right after they defy him sure...but he won’t. He lets them stew for a bit, thinking they have had the last laugh on envy. If they wish to play games with a General then he will make sure it’s good.

With MC he plays on easy mode, granting them insight and little touches of his magic during exam week or when playing a game against his brothers. He wants nothing in return from them but some quality hangout time.

Satan- The Pact of Retribution

As the only pure-blooded demon out of the seven, he does these pacts out of necessity like most other demons. While the others do it more so out of monetary gain and an obligation to the crown. Or if you’re Belphie, sheer enjoyment.

He does it because he hungers, it a hole in his very self that he is trying to fill. He hunts for one reason only- relief from his cardinal sin. He will never feel the calm after a storm of rage naturally. Patience and tranquility are the antitheses of his very creation. So he gets it artificially through his contracts.

He looks for the downtrodden, angry, and the most bitterly despondent humans he can find and gives them the chance to seek vengeance. He is very upfront with what his pact entails. Once the vengeance is complete his rage will consume them and they will become another soul for him to consume.

He isn’t cruel about the process or tries to trick a human into a mark. Very few of the ones he approaches turn him down even after hearing the details. It is possible that humans once shot to get even and he gets to feel bliss, to feel calm. He finds out that the longer or more obscure the plan for retribution is the sweeter the outcome is for Satan.

If he is feeling super ornery he will go after people affected by the outcomes of Lucifer’s pacts. They are easy prey and almost as wrathful as Satan himself. Bonus it aggravates Lucifer to no end when he has to go out of his way to clean up the mess Satan’s contract made of his own. Anything to piss him off makes Satan feel all the better.

With MC he doesn’t need to use his pact magic. Mostly because they are always around him in the Devildom, and no one is stupid enough to mess with someone Satan favors. If someone or something does irritate his MC he will take it out before it can fester into something his magic will try to latch onto. Keeping you calm and happy makes him feel almost tranquil as well.

Asmodeus- Pact of Gratification

Another very popular pact to try to get, and how could it not? He is fabulous~ But as much as people try to find him, he only goes for a certain type of contract. He has his perfectly manicured fingers on the pulse of the fashion and beauty industry.

His name is a whisper among the up and comers in the business. Many-while not looking for a pact - at least want to see him at least once. Many never will, they get cut from their agency or quit before they could get a foothold. It happens, and he hates to see it. Everyone deserves to feel gorgeous, or at least get a chance to be in the same room as him!

But for the ones the perceiver and climb the ranks get invited to one of his many parties. They can only get invited by someone wearing his mark. He trusts them to know who would be amenable to his contract.

His pact grants its bearer a glamor that can’t be broken by any meer mortal or mage. It makes them absolutely irresistible. How they wield that power is completely up to the user, he won’t judge or intervene.

Once they sign the contract all his holders see him frequently. He absolutely loves dropping in on their shoots or fancy dinners to say hi or get a recap on how they are fairing. Not because he is a nice demon or just super friendly (though they would like to think so). No, he just likes to watch.

His payment is slow, methodical and no one sees it happen until it is already complete. In exchange for beauty and the graduation of getting whatever their little hearts could as for he gets their ability to love, whether that be familiar or sexual. Asmo loves the feeling of being loved; he wants it in all ways possible.

Some pact holders don’t have an issue with this. They got their looks, a successful career, and people to manipulate to their heart’s content. Not having strong contentions with anyone works in their favor. But others don’t and while they search for him to try and get that little slice of humanity back he is long gone. He got what he wanted anyway.

MC is his darling. He can and will make a special contract just for them (reviewed by Lucifer). A beautiful new contract for a beautiful soul! He wants you as unchanged as possible because this MC is the one he fell for.

Beelzebub- Pact of Prowess

His pact is a very elusive one as he isn’t keen on going and looking for one. Beel isn’t a big fan of these trades, but he needs them every once and a while. Nothing is more filling than a contracted soul.

His trade is basic, make a pact and you get his strength. He, like Satan, is upfront about what his payment is and what side effects will plague them. He sees no reason to lie about it. The more they draw on his power the more the host's body gorges itself. Their bones will collapse in on themselves from the stress of it- the magic feeds on anything in the host bodies. It will deplete the iron in the blood, go after the calcium in the bones, sink its teeth in their muscle system.

It’s all rather gruesome and Beel does feel bad about it. He tells though who are still adamant about binding with him ways they can negate some of the side effects by taking supplements and augmenting their diets.

But it is like patching a deep cut with a bandaid, it just won’t work. His stomach is near bottomless- humans most certainly aren’t. They simply can’t eat enough to sustain their body like he can.

It surprises him that people still seek him out. To some, the pros outweigh that very huge cons. Some really do believe that they can find a loophole or find the right mix of medication to offset it.

He doesn’t get beaten up about it anymore but it gets on his nerves how obstinate humans can be about his very clear warnings. When his magic finally consumes them he takes both the body and soul back down with him and feasts on both.

With MC he keeps an eye out on them. Consistently checking in, making sure they don’t skip a meal, and join him at the gym often. He wants them to be strong and healthy enough to not ever want to use his pact. Though he does speculate that their angelic bloodline buffers both his and his brother’s magic a good bit.

Belphegor- Pact of the Visionary

Dreamers come in every shape and size and from different walks of life. But they are are all suckers to Belphie. He is known as the Lord of Decet for a reason.

He will promise them everything and anything their heart desires. That invention that will change the world? Done. A patent that is long overdue. Easy enough. A sudden rush of ingenuity to complete that nagging project. He is a devil of his word, it will be done. It- just won’t be done in the way they would want it.

See manipulating the physical realm is hard work. Like a lot of hard work. More than he would ever do for some stupid little human. It’s a lot easier to control outcomes in his realm.

The moment the contract is signed his hosts fall under his control and he takes it from there building a perfect little dream world for them to frolic in and believe they are getting what they want. He feeds off of them here, taking little sips from their energy and exploring these new fresh dream worlds. His dreamscapes get boring every once and a while, so having a new human under his influence is always refreshing.

While his humans thrive inside their minds their bodies waste away in bed as his magic draws them further and further into an endless sleep.

He doesn’t see anything wrong with his contracts. Who would argue with him that the dream realms aren’t real in their own sense? Did his humans not accomplish their goals in the end? He doesn’t think of the outside effects of his magic and pacts. Belphie really doesn’t care about what families he broke apart or lives he inadvertently affected.

MC is different to him though. He doesn’t keep them under his spell hardly ever (maybe if they are spending too much time with Dia or Lucifer. But he doesn’t push it with them.).He still walks into their dreams whenever he feels but he comes just to visit, not to change. He simply just enjoys keeping you company and relaxing in the little mini paradise you always seem to create in your dreams.

#obey me #request!#obey me luficer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #headcanon

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scullysflannel · 3 years

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but pls explain me season 6 🤪 (i would love to hear ur reading of mulder in s6)

lol neither one of us expected this to be 1400 words long but here we are.

So my first and most honest take on Mulder and Scully in season 6 is just that the writers were playing the game more that season. They spent five years subverting the Hollywood idea that two people who love each other have to act like they hate each other, and then the show moved to L.A. and the writers were like okay! It’s trope time! And they dropped a cow through Mulder’s roof so there would only be one motel bed for him to share with Scully. I respect the game. It’s my favorite season. But it’s a big shift from the way Mulder and Scully were written before, and it really only works because the season winds up being thematically cohesive enough to justify it, to a degree that was probably sometimes intentional and other times definitely not. Like in Arcadia I think we can all agree the writers were simply men making bad jokes about marriage.

But in the big picture, so much of the season supports the idea that Mulder and Scully are backsliding because they’re fighting the next stage of their relationship. I’ve said this before, but I think the hallway confession in Fight the Future is massive for Mulder and Scully in season 6. Way bigger than Diana. Scully says it in the season premiere: When Mulder told her that he needs her to be his scientist, the lesson she took from that was that she can’t change. The whole season thematically is about the two of them being afraid to let themselves change each other or admit they already have, because they’re afraid that if they stop being the Skeptic and Believer they stop working. They don’t want to risk losing each other. But they can’t be in a relationship if they can’t be changed by each other. So they’re stuck in this terrible limbo, and they’re not happy about it, especially because they’re already at a point where the roles they’re playing don’t fit them anymore. And at a macro level that’s honestly some of the best justification for “will they/won’t they” screwball comedy fanservice I’ve ever heard.

I love all the ways the season plays with Mulder and Scully’s anxiety. In Dreamland Mulder gets trapped in traditional married life; in Arcadia Scully signs them up for it and all he does is mock her; in The Rain King they keep getting mistaken for a couple. They’re always having to confront these domestic expectations. Neither one of them wants that life, but they were both kind of bred to expect it: Mulder the Martha’s Vineyard kid, Scully the sacrificial military wife. That’s part of what they’re struggling with: They don’t have a blueprint for what being a couple will look like for them, and they keep having these visions of the worst possible ending. “Getting out of the car” isn’t even a line until Dreamland, but Drive is literally “if Mulder gets out of the car, will someone die?” Do they die without each other (Tithonus) or because of each other (How the Ghosts)?

A lot of people have written so well about the motifs of this season. @iconicscullyoutfits pointed out how many season 6 episodes involve resets (How the Ghosts), usually with memory wipes (Dreamland, Monday) and dreams (Triangle, Field Trip). The message is that Mulder and Scully can’t move forward if they can’t get out of their own heads. (Field Trip pulls it all together by putting them in each other’s heads.) @foxmulders brought up how season 6 keeps telling Mulder and Scully they’re fated to live and die together (Triangle, Monday, How the Ghosts) but still forces them to choose each other on purpose, and I think a lot of the season lives in that tension between knowing something and still having to choose it. And @thegrotesckque has a great take on how Field Trip resolves the “getting out of the car” question (is it a betrayal for Scully and Mulder? Is it a betrayal for the show?) by proving that they’re better as a team when they stop playing Skeptic and Believer anyway. That’s what saves them.

All of that is so much better than whatever the show is trying to do with Diana. She’s not written well enough to explain why Mulder is so loyal to her (but is written just badly enough to justify Scully’s animosity lol). The X-Files doesn’t care about Diana as a person or even about her relationship with Mulder and how it affects him; it’s not like being burned by Diana brings up Mulder’s trust issues later in the season. They just wanted Scully to be jealous. It’s the weakest trope in a very tropey season; they threw in a love triangle and then immediately stopped caring about it, and not in a funny “no one else stands a chance” kind of way, although obviously yeah, no one else stands a chance.

But Diana isn’t the point. Even if she were better written she wouldn’t be Mulder and Scully’s biggest problem, because all of the interesting episodes of the season are about how Mulder and Scully are their own biggest problem. Diana just weaponizes those insecurities. Like, yes “you’re making this personal” is so rude it’s comical and Mulder is a jerk to Scully about Diana and Diana is a snob, and you can see all of that contributing to why Mulder and Scully are on edge with each other in the first half of the season. But it’s not like either one of them actually thinks Diana might be better for Mulder than Scully is. They’re just afraid they’ll let her stand in their way.

If I wanted to really give the Diana arc the benefit of the doubt, it would go like this: Diana is a catalyst for Scully to realize how much she wants to feel wanted. Mulder takes Scully for granted, and I’m usually kind of charmed by that (I know) because he trusts her so much. He’s so comfortable with her (@wtfmulder has written about this). But when Diana shows up and he starts siding with Diana over Scully, it hurts, especially because he never gives her a good reason. Really I think he’s just loyal and handling it badly. He sides with Diana because that’s the relationship he thinks needs defending right now. We talk a lot about the power imbalance in Scully’s previous relationships, but from the way Mulder behaves around his old girlfriends it seems like he’s been overpowered just as much. This is the first equal relationship for both of them.

It’s just wild that they put themselves through so much because it’s so simple. Of course Mulder loves Scully. He tells her so. But I think Dana “oh brother” Scully is right that he’s not ready to do anything about it, because if he were he’d be making her feel desired. He can say “I love you” on painkillers, but he can’t even ask her to dance in Kroner. He makes bad jokes to deflect (hence all of Arcadia). He’s just as overwhelmed as Scully is by the weight of what they are. I think in early season 6 they both still need the song and dance that gives them plausible deniability: him stealing her car keys and her insisting that she really should be getting home. And if Mulder has a hard time earnestly pursuing her, I think Scully also has a harder time than she’d admit letting herself be pursued. They’ve been kicked off the X-files. In a way just spending time together is so much more intentional than it used to be. Everything means more.

I don’t think they start to get their act together until Milagro, when Scully lets go of her desire to be pursued. The show’s method is bad—Dana Scully is never allowed to learn a lesson until her body is put in danger—but I think David Duchovny mostly saved it by making sure Mulder learns something too. Even if he had no idea what would happen right before The Unnatural, the way the episodes fall is perfect. Mulder finally figures out that Scully wants him to want to spend time with her outside work. It only took six full years.

And then because they are very zero to sixty I think there’s a good chance they start doing IVF, like, right after that. Love that journey for them. If they started IVF before Mulder read Scully’s mind, he must have been insufferably needy. Maybe that’s why they’re so short with each other in Field Trip; they’re trying to make a baby and they need supernatural intervention to process it. It takes a literal religious revelation to convince Mulder and Scully it’s okay to hook up.

#this is so long it's fully unhinged i'm so sorry #o6666666 #season 6 #xf thoughts

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clamityganon · 3 years

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hal jordan construct character!!!! yeeeeeesssss !!!!

YES he’s got so much potential!!! i’m sorry this took me so long to answer but i wanted a chance to just. spit out some thoughts i’ve been letting stew in my brain for a few months.

quick disclaimer: i am in no way a super intense hal fan or a major authority on hal, so if there are some inconsistencies i hope you forgive me because currently the only source i have right now is my galactic brain and a few panels i did a few quick searches for.

okay and one last thing before i tell you my takes and whatnot: i took a 36 question ASVAB (Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery) practice test online at 3:30ish am to see if one of my points was on the right track and now the us military wants me to enlist. [update: i’ve come back literally a year later to edit some points and my clunky writing and guess what? the US military is still trying to get me to enlist. i might as well sign up at this point.]

let’s start at the beginning:

harold “hal” jordan as a little boy was traumatized for life after watching his father die in a plane crash.

you’d think that since something that terrible happened to someone so important to him, he’d avoid planes or anything that flies at all costs, right? well, no. even though he’s absolutely terrified of flying planes, he enrolled into the academy and became a military test pilot to follow his father’s footsteps. he actually showed up at the door on his 18th birthday before it opened against his mother’s wishes. and he does this because he wants to carry on his father’s legacy.

that sort of trauma coming with seeing your own parent getting killed never really goes away (exhibit a: batman) and from what i’ve read (i’m gonna be honest here: i have never actually read a green lantern comic before) it’s not often touched on in the JLA stuff? i think it’ll make some awesome plot material and a dramatic addition into stories, just the stuff comic fans eat up. why not write about hal jordan being traumatized and obviously covering it up with bad jokes. everybody around him gets this weird feeling that something’s up, but they don’t know how to touch on it because they don’t know where to start. and every time things get “serious” he manages to defuse the seriousness with a few well-placed (albeit bad) jokes.

this guy might be silently panicking in cockpits because suddenly he’ll get a flash of his father in the reflection of the windshield. hal’s inner monologue going something something all machines wear down at some point and there’s only a matter of time before i go down with one, especially in a line of work as risky as mine... but he doesn’t let himself get scared because he wants to be fearless. he needs to be fearless.

speaking of his father, there are some things about being a military kid which seem really interesting and different. this kind of lifestyle seems like it could make a cool mini comic or something? like how max landis’s 6 edition series american alien touches on clark’s childhood and leads up to his transition into superman, one could be created for hal. some examples of stuff would include

moving from base to base

having trouble making long-term friends with people

a generally tougher social life

picking up some basic phrases in foreign languages

adapting to new environments

constant uncertainty about the future

ect. ect. i could go on

anyway if hal’s written by someone who was in the military or someone who's got connections to people in the military, that could be a pretty fun thing to read about.

cont.:

he was kicked out of the military for assaulting an officer, which i really wanna hear more of. i think he did it because his mother died of cancer and he had a mental breakdown which is very... severe. i wrote this down in another post but if you get a DD (dishonorable discharge) from the military you get

no veteran benefits

low chances of post-service employment because background checking treats a DD like a very severe criminal offence

he will never be able to work at the state or government level again

he loses the right to vote

he loses the right to receive government assistance of any kind

he’s not allowed to get a bank loan

ect. ect. there’s actually a handbook where they talk about the nitty gritty details you can search up “dishonorable discharge us military” and click the vetify website that pops up if you want more info

so he’s literally a criminal. there’s no better way to put it. he has these restrictions applying to him until his sentence expires, which can take between 1 year to 10? i think? it can be longer.

after this unfortunate DD, he swings a job as a test pilot for ferris aircraft because the guy who runs it was in good with his dad. test pilots also need a very specific set of skills which are:

understanding a test plan

sticking to said test plan by flying the plane in a highly specific way

carefully documenting the results of each test flight

having an excellent feel for the aircraft and sense exactly how the plane behaves (if it behaves oddly)

solve problems quickly if anything goes wrong with the aircraft during testing

coping with SO many things going wrong at once

accurately and effectively communicate flight test observations to engineers and relate those engineering results to the pilot community (to bridge the gap between those who design and build aircraft with those who employ the aircraft to accomplish a mission)

have an excellent knowledge of aeronautical engineering to understand how and why planes are tested

basically, you have to be an above-average pilot with excellent analytical skills. it’s funny that he doesn’t have many options for jobs even though he could easily be super over-qualified for a lot of them.

i know he’s cocky, and sarcastic, and arrogant which makes him seem like any other SoCal fboy who you’d never approach while walking downtown, but if he has to spend time taking note of how planes fly and giving engineers tune-up advice he has to be smart. the ASVAB test i took wasn’t hard, but if you’re a pilot and specifically a pilot who checks up on planes by flying them, you’ve got to have a certain IQ level.

imagine how stressful that job is. the pressure of not letting someone crash like his dad while flying. i have so much respect for him because of this. imagine how over time, he’s gotten used to being under tight deadlines and having high expectations thrust upon him. having him being a bit of a perfectionist. he could defuse a space bomb.

to summarize that little chunk, he’s the type of guy that comes off as a... piece of work, but is actually pretty smart once you put him up to the challenge. and it drives other people-- mainly the ones who have him pegged as “bane of my existence”-- insane because goddammit, hal, you’re not allowed to be good at these kinds of things when you act like a literal thirteen year old boy. i don’t know where i’m going with this headcanon, to be honest. i just like the idea of something like this going on:

green lantern, looking at the batwing: i think that needs a new combustor and a decent fan cleaning. maybe a little adjusting on the oil filter? batman: how do you know all this? green lantern, having worked with planes since he was eighteen and now his hair is turning gray: i don’t know. maybe i got lucky.

let’s talk about him as green lantern (god bless google and reddit for the panels because as i have said. i’ve never read a GL comic. i had no idea if i was going insane or not over this):

so hal was the first human green lantern (i’m ignoring alan scott right now, so sorry king) and on top of already being a historical figure like that, he’s also one of the “most legendary bearers to wield a power ring” source: dude trust me. it’s out there somewhere even if i can’t pull out the panel from google. some of his accomplishments that i can think of right now are:

he forged his own ring

only guardians have the power and knowledge to forge a ring and have it be functional

he has pure will which is stronger than your regular old normal will

he killed sinestro (who i’m pretty sure was in yellow lantern mode)

who was, might i add, possessed by parallax and was roughly ten times stronger than he normally was. ten times stronger, and hal beat his ass.

his ring can’t be worn by any other lantern

as most people know, after a lantern dies their ring seeks out the closest and best new candidate and adds them to the corps. but since hal’s ring is a part of himself (something like that, it gets complicated), it can’t be wielded by any other being in the universe. oh, and it’s apparently one of the most powerful rings to ever be made.

he imposed and overwhelmed his will onto another green lantern

i’m pretty sure the lantern in question for both situations was kyle rayner. and if you know about green lanterns, you’ll know that this is a big deal since all green lantern’s wills are really strong. the green lantern ring is quite literally powered by concentration and willpower, so imposing your own will onto a green lantern’s isn’t something to be taken lightly.

and finally he killed himself with his own ring because his will was so powerful

green lanterns can’t ever harm themselves with their own rings, so just let that settle in for a moment. he also came back to life moments after killing himself (i forgot when and why he did all that, all i know is that booster gold was with him when he did it).

so he’s done all this cool stuff, and they just kinda... brush him aside. he’s played off as comedic relief for a good chunk of time.

so after reading all of that just try and tell me you don’t think that he’ll be one of the corps’ biggest historical figures. i’ll fistfight you behind denny’s off the I-15 to prove myself right (and if i’m wrong remember: i have never actually read a gl comic.). the dudes on oa might have him be a figure in textbooks or having a statue of him or something. i don’t really know how the whole training thing works with them. (this is my way of saying how it would make an awesome future time travel edition of a green lantern comic run so DC i am once again begging you to adopt me as a writer).

moving on (yes. there’s more. if you were to look inside my brain you’d just see a hal jordan png bouncing around the blackness like the DVD icon. you know the one.):

hal’s seen as a leader among the GL corps (not only because he’s op as hell) but because he won't ask anyone to do anything that he isn't willing to do himself. that’s quite an admirable trait in people with high positions of power. unlike those annoying people you get paired up with group projects. personally, i think this quality of his makes him eligible enough to step up into a leadership position at the JLA. i mean, you have the big three: wonder woman who’s a no-nonsense amazon who’s got the spirit of a warrior, superman who’s an indestructible beefed up farm boy from kansas who is kind and compassionate, and batman who’s a homeschooled dropout who once held a law degree in some universe. twoish out of these three people seem like mediocre candidates as leaders (no hate just facts), while hal’s got a very good amount of experience with teams after working in the military and he’s just got that overall personality of a leader.

and man. could you just imagine a scene with him centered around his team and self-sacrifice? hal would obviously try to do it himself and spare his mates, but someone else demands that it be them instead because they think it’ll work better in the end. we’ll have everyone arguing about how “there must be another way! nobody has to die!” but hal reluctantly does see that the other person should sacrifice themselves, because they make quiet a fair point about the endgame of this situation. he lets it happen, and then he proceeds to receive the full wrath of the other members. maybe i shouldn’t digress because this sounds like a great trauma fic plot haha.

further headcanons because i don’t shut up (this is not required reading, you can rest if you wish so):

the whole sinestro thing could be tied into Big Time trust issues because c’mon. if you’ve been stabbed in the back by someone you trusted, you know how hard it is to trust other people. there’s that little voice whispering from the darkest corner in the blackest night of your mind:

“what if these guys end up the same? what if it’s all just an elaborate ploy?”

hal having seconds thoughts joining the JLA in the beginning. a little hesitation’s eating him alive as he looks amongst the people who claim to be his friends, but have fallen under mind control so easily and switched in battle sides often enough that he can recognize their attack patterns when they’re coming at him. he’s second guessing the people standing next to them. he’s thinking over and over again about how his friends haven’t been mind controlled, but just revealed their their true feelings towards humanity. and him.

and then he feels like shit.

he doubted his teammates. the same guys who have had his back time and time again. he feels terrible for this distrust because because superman’s just invited him to a little get-together they’re having down in smallville and he “really hopes” that hal can take some time out of his schedule to come along and bond with the team. he feels so awkward and sick to his stomach when they reveal their identities one by one because you know who i am... but i also know who you are... but this could all be a deeper level which you’re all playing at... it takes him time to stop feeling a little weird about the flash calling him his best friend at the watchtower, and eventually down on earth while they’re hanging out in civvies. but hal can’t help it because it’s almost like second nature to him.

i could go on. i really could, but i shouldn’t because it’s so late and i’ve spent so much time thinking about nothing but this one guy. so i’m gonna end it here.

in conclusion i think that is why i, while having never read a green lantern comic in my life but understand him through personality analysis and osmosis, should be the biggest hal jordan writer at your headquarters please and thank you.

#I SPOKE SO MUCH but that's okay #ALSO IF ANYTHING I SAID IS STUPID FEEL FREE TO BULLY ME IN TAGS OR OVER ANON BECAUSE LIKE I SAID I DON'T READ MUCH ABOUT HAL #anyway here's wonderwall #hal jordan meta #?#dare i say it's a meta?#i guess it is #hal jordan #green lantern #dc #dc comics

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xxdragonwriterxx · 4 years

Text

🔥Prowess🔥

~~~

Levi’s heart roared with pride when (Y/N) leaned into his advances, a soft sigh escaping her lips as he kissed down her throat, lightly nibbling on her pulse and licking his way down her warm skin. The two had only been dating for a few months but they had loved each other for years, the two dancing around each other ever since they met until one day, Levi couldn’t take it anymore and just asked her out. He had been befuddled when the normally confident, cool-headed Squad Leader had hesitated at his confession, her eyes drifting to the side as if in fear before she managed to nod her head and smile at him.

Since they had loved each other for so long, despite only coming together relatively recently, Levi was a little surprised at the slow speed with which their relationship progressed physically, (Y/N) always dodging the subject when he brought it up. But he was happy to wait for her, wanting to move at a pace she was comfortable with. After almost six months of patiently waiting, (Y/N) had finally agreed to be intimate with him, her shyness evident but her eyes determined.

(Y/N)’s muffled moan brought him back to the moment, his silver eyes flickering up to where her hand was covering her mouth in an attempt to stifle her sounds. Levi frowned at this and sat back a little, one hand gently skimming across her collarbones to cup her breast while the other reached up to grasp her wrist and pull her hand away from her mouth. Usually, Levi preferred to fuck in peace, having the woman he was with stay quiet to avoid letting anyone around him know what was happening, but with (Y/N), he wanted everyone to know how good he was making her feel. This was their first time together, and (Y/N) was the love of his life, he did not want her to be quiet.

“Don’t cover your beautiful voice, (Y/N), I want to hear you. I want to hear everything from your adorable moans to the sound of you screaming my name,” Levi said breathily, releasing her wrist and moving his other hand to cup her neglected breast.

Suddenly, (Y/N) moved back a little, away from his touch, hesitant. Levi immediately looked up and took his hands off of her, his eyes searching hers for any sign he had done something wrong.

“(Y/N)?”

(Y/N) bit her lip and glanced away from him, her arms coming up to cross over her breasts, her fingers digging into her shoulders until the tips turned white. Something was wrong, Levi could tell. Fear curled in his gut as he thought back to everything he had done so far, trying to pinpoint when he could have accidentally hurt her. When he came up with nothing, he realized she may be feeling self conscious. He couldn’t fathom why, she was downright gorgeous, absolutely stunning in his eyes, with her sparkling (e/c) eyes, beautiful form, and soft, flowing (h/c) hair. She was absolutely perfect, but maybe she couldn’t see herself in the same light.

“Hey, I didn’t hurt you, did I? You don’t have to hide from me, you’re beautiful, but if you don’t want to do this, we don’t have to.”

(Y/N) looked up at him, her heart exploding with love for the man in front of her. He was always so patient with her, so gentle. It was such a jarring contrast to his usually cold demeanor, but it was a welcome one regardless. She loved him so much, and she did want this. It had been such a long time since his confession, she really wanted to take this step with Levi, to show him with her body how much she cared about him. She was just scared. She knew he was different, knew that Levi would treat her right and take care of her like he had promised her when she had accepted his confession all those months ago; she just couldn’t shake off the fear that crept into her bones. He needed to know. He deserved to know.

“No, you’ve been amazing, Levi, you didn’t hurt me, I promise. It’s just…,” (Y/N) hesitated again and rubbed her arms against the chill that settled in the room and flowed over her bare form. Levi gently grasped her chin in his palm and tilted her head up, forcing her to meet his uncharacteristically soft gaze. Taking a deep breath, (Y/N) steeled herself.

“Before you, the last man I was with…, well, he…, was abusive.”

She felt Levi tense, his eyes widening before they narrowed dangerously into sharp metal slits, the anger surrounding him, palpable.

“I know you are nothing like him. You have been so wonderful, Levi, you make me feel so loved and appreciated, but sometimes, I just can’t get him out of my head. I can’t escape him,” (Y/N) said, her eyes glazing over with tears. Levi forced himself to relax and reached out to touch her shoulder, encouraging her to keep talking to him.

“At first, he was charming and sweet, and charismatic,” (Y/N) said. “Compliments were easy for him, and even though I’d had a few lovers before him, none of them were ever very serious. More like friends with benefits than real relationships, so when he started acknowledging me as something more than a sex machine with legs, I was smitten.”

Levi was quiet as he listened, his hand squeezing her shoulder gently to comfort her as tears started to flow down her cheeks.

“It was great for a while. I was a citizen at the time, before I decided the military was my path for the future, and he was the son of a kind noble my father knew since he worked as a groom and blacksmith, taking care of their horses for them. He had money, and as a poor girl working as a groom with my father, I was impressed with his fortune, and lucky enough for him to spend quite a bit of it on me,” (Y/N) sighed. “I know it was stupid, looking back now, I should’ve never gotten myself wrapped up in the glamor of his wealth, but he and his father were so kind, helping my family pay the bills while at the same time allowing me to experience romance pulled straight from a story book, I couldn’t help but be a bit awed.”

Levi moved closer to her, removing his hand from her shoulder to instead sit beside her, his shoulder leaning against hers as he waited for her to finish telling him the story. His heart clenched when he saw more tears spill from her eyes, the salty drops staining her skin.

“But then it wasn’t so great. When we were intimate for the first time, it was fine, normal. It wasn’t anything special, but nothing negative. But the closer I got to him, the more I realized he wasn’t the person I thought he was. His father has been getting older and older and at the time was already starting to have trouble with maintaining energy and memory, so he wasn’t really aware that his son was lying about the way he was using his father’s money. He told me he was using it to help people from the Underground, even taking me down there a few times to help distribute food and supplies.”

“I found out one day about the lies,” (Y/N) continued. “I found out about how he was hoarding his money for himself, using it to tempt people into doing favors for him or luring them into crippling debts. I found out that whenever we went down into the Underground, after we had finished giving out the food, he would send for them to be arrested, claiming they had stolen the supplies from him, and then dangled their freedom in front of their faces like a dog bone, using it to force women to sleep with him while keeping his fat wallet full.”

Levi growled in response to that and (Y/N) let out a dark chuckle, her eyes hardening in fury at the memories.

“I confronted him on it, and that is when it all started to go downhill,” (Y/N) said, her body trembling a little. “He started to beat me to keep me quiet, threatened my family, telling me he’d have my father hung because he “stole” something if I came out with who he really was.”

(Y/N) shuddered again, this time a small sob escaping her lips.

“Then he started to use me, started being too rough and overpowering. He threatened me over and over again if I ever told anyone about anything, including how he was treating me. I was supposed to just put on a pretty face and smile and continue to gush over how amazing he supposedly was, just as I had always done. My own family didn’t even know anything about it, my father even starting to tease me about possible marriage.”

Levi visibly paled at that and he subconsciously tightened his hold on her where his arm was loosely wrapped around her shoulders, the horror that she could’ve been shackled to a man like that forever making his heart pound.

“I eventually did get out of there when the titans broke through the wall, destroying my home and killing my family. I was distraught, but when my family was gone, I realized I had nothing left to lose, and left him for the military, knowing he’d never be able to reach me here,” (Y/N) reached up and wiped at her eyes. “That’s why I’ve been so hesitant about having sex again, about being in a relationship again; why I struggled with your confession in the beginning. I just…, don’t want to fall into that kind of trap ever again.”

Levi quickly pulled her into a firm but loving embrace. He knew he wasn’t good with words, he honestly had no idea how to respond to what she had just told him, not when his thoughts were moving a million miles per minute, but he hoped she could feel what he was trying to tell her through the grip he had on her as he held her close.

She seemed to get the message, her face snuggling deeper into his bare chest, her tears drying on her cheeks as she breathed in his calming scent and listened to his steady heartbeat. Levi lifted a hand to her hair and gently stroked the soft strands, murmuring gentle words to her until she was calmed enough to pull away from him.

“Thank you, Levi,” (Y/N) whispered.

“Come on,” Levi murmured, gently grabbing her wrist and tugging on her, preparing to give her a warm bath and spoil her for a bit. He wanted her to feel comfortable again, and wash away the horrors of her past memories the most he possibly could. “Let me take care of you.”

He looked back when (Y/N) didn’t move from her spot, pulling him back to her. Her eyes were sparkling, but this time he could see the love and lust swirling in her (e/c) hues, rather than the glimmer of unshed tears.

“(Y/N)?”

“I want to do this.”

“Huh?” Levi asked.

“I think it’s so sweet that you are willing to spoil me, especially after you’ve waited for so long, but you’re forgetting that I want this too. I want to show you how much I love you through this, and I want to be shown something other than the rough treatment I was given before. I want you to make love to me, Levi,” (Y/N) said, determination flashing across her face.

Levi sucked in a breath and searched her face, looking for any sign that she wasn’t telling the truth. He knew (Y/N) was the kind of person who enjoyed helping others, and he was not about to let her hurt herself to please him. But no matter how many times he searched her gaze, he found no sign of doubt. Carefully sliding back into bed and grabbing ahold of her hand, Levi held her gaze when he spoke.

“Are you sure, (Y/N)? We don’t have to do this, I am willing to wait. I want it, fuck, do I want it, but I will wait for you if this is not what you really want.”

(Y/N) beamed at him and lifted her hand, brushing her fingers along his cheek lovingly. How the hell did she manage to get so lucky? He was so fucking perfect, she felt like she was going to explode.

“I know you would, Levi. But I’m tired of waiting. I want you, I promise.”

Levi smiled at her genuinely, making her heart leap in her throat, before the grin turned sultry, his eyes flashing as he allowed himself to indulge in eyeing her still naked form. Reaching out for her, he brought her into his embrace once more.

“I love you,” Levi said, leaning down to kiss her.

_________________________________

Levi stopped walking the moment he saw (Y/N) freeze, turning around to see his lover staring straight ahead, her whole body tensed. He tilted his head as he watched her, his confusion mounting. He only ever saw her look like that when she was fighting someone, or when she was about to charge off into battle outside the walls. It was a stance that told him she was ready to tear her way out of a situation, no matter what it took. Turning to follow her line of sight, Levi saw Erwin walking towards the two of them, a tall, handsome young man walking alongside him.

Levi's eyes narrowed. He had never seen the man before, but he could already tell he was of noble status. He didn’t look like a traditional noble with his flowing gold hair, tan skin, and well muscled form, his abs showing through the pressed white shirt lined with gold he wore, but Levi could tell in the way he sneered at the state of the military base, his lips curling in disgust when soldiers passed by.

Leaving (Y/N) for a moment, throwing a concerned look in her direction, Levi approached the pair, striding up to the two men confidently.

“Commander Erwin, who is this?” Levi asked, reverting to using Erwin’s title in the presence of the noble.

“Ah, Captain Levi, this is Lord Byron’s son, Lord William. I have been informed that unfortunately, Lord Byron passed away recently, and so I’ve called Lord William down from his estate to discuss the situation regarding funding for the Survey Corps,” Erwin said.

Levi grunted his acknowledgement and turned to move back to his love, his worry increasing tenfold when he found her still frozen in place, her eyes wide and dark with fury. He was just about to ask her what was wrong when everything clicked into place. She had never told him her ex boyfriend’s name, but she hadn’t felt the need to. She had assumed that Levi would never meet the bastard, and if he ever did meet him, it was assumed that (Y/N) would be nowhere near him.

Levi felt a dark flare of anger coil in his gut, and wanted nothing more than to beat the noble into the ground, but he knew he had to get (Y/N) out of here as soon as possible. She had finally been getting more comfortable with being in a relationship again, she did not need this to set her back. Levi was almost to her, his hand reaching out to grasp her wrist when Lord William’s loud voice made everyone stop dead.

“(Y/N)? Is that you? Well, hello my dear! Long time no see, huh?”

Levi turned to throw Lord William a nasty glare but the short Captain was almost completely ignored as the young lord strode up to the frozen Squad Leader, a charming smile on his face. If it weren’t for what (Y/N) had told him before, and the way she was standing, Levi would’ve thought the smile was genuine. The young man was practically beaming, and his eyes sparkling as if he were greeting an old childhood friend. But as Levi looked closer, he could see that the smile didn’t quite reach William’s eyes.

William had his arms open, ready to encompass the obviously uncomfortable (Y/N) into a large bear hug when Levi stepped in, one arm drifting just slightly behind him, a warning for William’s eyes only, not to come any closer.

“Lord William, I was unaware you and my girlfriend were previously acquainted, and so while I apologize for the interruption in your reunion, may I remind you that we are here to discuss the Survey Corps funding?” Levi asked cooly.

Shock flared in William’s gaze for a moment, his eyes flicking between (Y/N) and Levi before he let a smug grin ride across his face, making Levi’s stomach flip.

“Girlfriend, huh? I apologize if I came off as being too personal, I only meant to greet a close friend of mine, that’s all. If you wish to move right onto the budget then lead the way,” William said, taking a step back and motioning the senior officers forward.

(Y/N) didn’t like turning her back to the young lord, but she refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing her rattled by his sudden reappearance in her life. Standing up tall, (Y/N) looped her arm through Levi’s and strode forward with her head held up high, her jaw clenched as she fought the urge to turn around and tear the man behind her limb from limb. She could tell Erwin noticed her tense posture and aggressive attitude towards William, but the Commander didn’t comment as he brought up the rear of the group, making their way to an empty conference room.

Once they had settled into the room, they were joined only by Mike, Hanji, Nanaba, and Moblit, before the door shut out the rest of the military base. (Y/N) felt jittery, even with the other officers in the room, but forced herself to remain calm as she took a seat beside Levi, relaxing a little when she felt her lover place his hand comfortingly on her thigh.

Unfortunately, Erwin was not the only one who seemed to notice her discomfort as William shot her a knowing smile, and settled in the chair directly across from her, his eyes never leaving her form as he very obviously and purposely eyed her up and down, his gaze lingering on her breasts and hips when he knew Levi was watching.

Erwin coughed awkwardly at the rising tensions in the room and shuffled the papers in front of him, eager to start the meeting without anyone losing a limb. Levi’s gaze never left the young lord as he dragged his attention away from (Y/N)’s body to focus on the Commander.

“Thank you for coming down today, Lord William, as I am sure you are aware, your father was a major source of income for our services. He was very kind in his offerings to us, and was a very significant contributor in allowing us to procure the proper supplies and weaponry for our soldiers. We are not necessarily asking that you provide the same provisions your father did, only that maybe you would consider continuing to fund some of our more important functions such as our food supply and medical care?”

Lord William leaned back in his chair for a moment, running a hand through his thick golden locks. His eyes flickered over to (Y/N), and it took all of her willpower to avoid glaring at him in return, forcing herself to keep her gaze neutral when he looked at her. Levi gave her thigh a light squeeze and she reached under the table to rest her hand over his in gratitude for his silent support.

“Listen, Commander, I would love to consider your offer, as I have no qualms with the Survey Corps itself, and I support what you and your soldiers are doing to help save Humanity,” William said.

“That’s great, Lord William, and we thank you for your-”

“However,” William said, rudely cutting off the Commander. “I have one problem.”

Erwin raised an eyebrow but did not let his irritation show, his sharp blue gaze shifting to meet William’s green ones.

“Which is?”

“I do not make deals with my enemies.”

Erwin tilted his head in confusion, and the other senior officers began to whisper amongst themselves, their questions making the air thick above them. Only Levi and (Y/N) kept silent, their gazes locked on William’s turned head. (Y/N) clenched her fist under the table, squeezing Levi’s hand, who returned the gesture with equal strength. They knew what this was about. (Y/N) had hoped this meeting would pass without this topic coming up, but she knew she had been fooling herself when she had thought that.

“I thought you just told us that you support our goals and actions as we strive to make this world a safer place,” Mike said, his voice clear and low. “What about that makes us your enemy?”

“Oh, you are mistaken, I said nothing about the Survey Corps being my enemy. But there is one of you within this branch of the military that I have some unfinished business with, and I refuse to make deals so long as that person is a part of your project,” Williams said, still maintaining his eye contact with the Commander.

(Y/N) tensed even further, her eyes darkening with fury. She knew what he was doing and it made her want to be sick. She had known from the moment she saw him that he would make an effort to bring her into the conversation, to chastise her in front of her colleagues and leaders, but she had not expected him to go so far as to insinuate she be removed from the Survey Corps entirely. (Y/N) fought to control her breathing, her jaw clenching to the point she worried about her teeth cracking.

“Well, maybe we can work something out, who is it that you have problems with, Lord William?” Erwin asked.

It was then that William finally turned in his seat to look right at them, his gaze switching between (Y/N) and Levi as a wicked grin crept along his face, his green eyes flashing with malicious intent. “I have a problem with Captain Levi, I believe he has something of mine.”

(Y/N)’s eyes grew wide then. All along she thought William was just going to try his hardest to drag her down. She hated it, but she had expected it, and would be able to get through it just so long as she had her friends and lover at her side. What she had not expected was for William to drag Levi’s name into the conflict, ready to tear him down as well.

A quick glance in Erwin’s direction revealed his thoughts on the matter, his face twisted in shock while his icy blue eyes flickered with cautious irritation.

“Hmm, Captain Levi, I was unaware you even knew Lord William, do you have something of his?”

Levi glanced at Erwin and noted his expression as well before leaning back in his chair, feigning relaxed confidence.

“Of course not, Erwin, I have never even seen this man before.”

“Really?” William growled, his charming persona beginning to fall away piece by piece. “Because that woman beside you looks an awful lot like my lost bride, Captain.”

A few gasps filled the room at his words, (Y/N)’s fellow officers immediately looking in her direction with shocked expressions. (Y/N) and Levi glanced at each other before they both settled their hate-filled gazes on William.

“I have no idea what you are talking about, Lord William,” (Y/N) said in a flat tone. “I was never meant to marry you.”

William growled at her. “You can lie to yourself, and him, all you’d like, (Y/N),” William said, gesturing to Levi as he spoke. “But deep down you know the truth. You were destined to marry me. Just because you ditched me, ran away and gained favor in the military by spreading your legs for your superiors, doesn’t mean you’re free. I intend to take back what is mine.”

“I am not an object to be owned,” (Y/N) snapped, her eyes flashing with barely suppressed fury as she stared down her ex, ignoring the embarrassment that flooded her veins at his crass comment. She just had to focus, she knew he was going to try to put her to shame in front of her friends and superiors, she just had to get through it and everything would be okay. She needed to do this, needed to face him down so that maybe she could finally escape his tormenting shadow, which seemed to constantly loom over her whenever she tried to take another step towards Levi.

“What? So this new man doesn’t exist?” William snarled, waving at Levi.

“I am her lover, not her owner,” Levi said, his voice dark and low. Around the table, all of the superior officers began to raise their guard, Hanji sliding closer to (Y/N) while the rest of her friends tensed in their seats.

“What a catch,” William drawled with a snort, sarcasm dripping from his tongue as he looked the Captain up and down. “And I suppose she is so satisfied with you? I didn’t know (Y/N) was attracted to pale dwarves.”

The entire room jerked in their seats, (Y/N) even letting loose a dark growl that sounded almost feral in nature. Levi felt embarrassment wash over him at the insult, but he didn’t let it get to him, instead, focusing on the warmth that blossomed in his heart at the sound of (Y/N)’s threatening snarl in his defense.

“And last time I checked, (Y/N) wasn’t attracted to violent men with a lot of baggage. Do you really think you are enough for her? Do you really think you can provide for her and be there for her when she needs you the most? If that’s what you tell yourself in the mirror every morning, that you can be what she needs in her life, then you’ve got to stop lying to yourself. There is more to a relationship than sex and making her breakfast in the morning.”

Levi forced his face to remain expressionless except for his dark scowl, refusing to let the lord see how he was getting to him. He wanted to ignore the young man, wanted to stand up tall and tell him that everything he was saying was complete and utter bullshit. But Levi could feel it in his heart. He had no idea how, but William seemed to know exactly what Levi struggled with everyday, the question he asked himself when he looked at his stunning girlfriend: was he good enough?

“Or do you even do that?” William continued, ignoring Erwin’s warning call of his name. “Do you even make her breakfast in the morning? Claim her as your own? Or do you just make her tea occasionally while she sits on the couch, bored? How many books has she finished in the past few weeks? She always reads when she has nothing better to do, that should tell you exactly how satisfied she is.”

Levi wanted to rebuke what he was saying but his mind thought back to the past few weeks without his permission, automatically thinking back to the number of finished books (Y/N) had placed in a pile on the coffee table in his office. He internally winced as he thought about how tall that pile was getting.

“William that is enough!” Erwin snapped, foregoing all pretense of politeness, his eyes burning with an icy fire as he stared down the young lord, who merely scoffed at the Commander, a smug smirk gracing his lips.

“Oh I am far from finished, Commander,” William said in a mocking tone. “I haven’t even gotten to the best part, and I haven’t done anything worthy enough for you to force me to leave. I am not under your command, I am under my own.”

“You have spent this entire time making unprecedented, inappropriate comments towards two of our commanding officers,” Hanji snapped back, her glasses flashing as she turned to glare at the lord.

“And you would have me forcibly ejected from the meeting because I hurt your feelings? I thought the Survey Corps was under better management than that, I may have to talk to the royal council about having some of you reassigned,” William threatened, making everyone shut their mouths, despite the angry glares being leveled at him. (Y/N) was holding onto her pen so tightly, the writing utensil looked as if it were about to snap.

“And if she is so bored with you in every other aspect of your relationship,” William said, turning his gaze back onto the Captain. “What do you think that means for your sex life, hmm? Do you really think she’d be satisfied with that if she isn’t with anything else? I mean, what did you really expect? With that pitiful height, there must not be much to please her with down there either, right? You really think she could possibly be happy with you after she’s already had me? She used to scream my name loud enough for my entire estate to hear, does she do that for you too, Captain?”

Levi had no qualms with his size, he knew he was talented under the sheets, but the lord’s words still stung him. He couldn’t help the light blush that stained his cheeks when William talked so nonchalantly about his size and (Y/N)’s previous reactions in bed, embarrassment flooding his system for the second time that night. Despite his efforts to suppress them, the doubts started to worm their way into his heart, asking himself over and over again the questions that always plagued him but he’d always managed to shove down before. Now they rose up, stronger than ever, poisoning his heart and chaffing away at his confidence.

Everyone in the room flinched when (Y/N) suddenly slammed her hands down on the table in front of her, standing up so fast her chair flew out behind her, her eyes burning with a dark, fiery hatred as she met William’s stare. At one point in her life, she would’ve cowered in fear from the green gaze that stared right back at her. She would’ve bowed her head and looked to the floor as he bashed at her self-confidence until she was stripped bare, left with nothing but her doubts. She was used to his horrible personality, she was used to the way he would degrade others, and lie to make himself look and feel better. But not this time. Not when he was insulting the best thing that had ever come into her life. She loved Levi more than anything, and as William’s scathing words slapped her lover across the face, (Y/N) forgot all of her fear, left with nothing but a furious desire to rip this man to shreds.

“Don’t you dare talk about me or my lover like that. Levi is the best thing to ever happen to me and he proves that to me every damn day. He is leaps and bounds better than you ever were and he is more of a man than you will ever be. He is out there, fighting by my side, protecting me, and reminding me that I am loved, while you cower away in your cave of wealth, brooding over the few things you can’t have in this life because you chased them away with your abuse. If you ever try to degrade him in front of me again, I will fucking kill you,” (Y/N) was panting when she was finished, her anger so intense she was shaking, her knuckles turned white from where she was gripping the desk.

Levi’s look of shock and adoration as he looked up at his lover was mirrored by the faces of all of the officers in the room, some of which morphed into smug smiles after a moment when they caught sight of the surprise on William’s face. William glanced around before he sat up a bit, rearranging his face into one of a bland lack of interest. Switching his gaze from (Y/N)’s tense form back to Levi, William let his own smug smile form and angled his head at the Captain.

“Wow, strong words coming from such a little slut. Tell me, Captain Levi, when you fuck her, have you ever noticed that little noise she makes right before she climaxes?”

(Y/N) closed her eyes. She knew what this was, what he was trying to do. It was another one of his tactics. He was trying to shred her dignity, destroy her credibility in front of her friends. She figured he had to know she was a Squad Leader, one of the senior officers of the Survey Corps, otherwise she wouldn’t even be in this meeting. He knew he was losing this battle he had started due to the support she had from her lover and her friends, so he was trying to cut her down another way, embarrass her in the worst way possible before he took his leave. Taking a deep breath, (Y/N) shoved down the heat that rose in her chest and stained her cheeks, gathering all of the confidence she had left as she opened her eyes and stared right at William without backing down. (Y/N) knew Levi was about to say something, but she beat him to it. She needed to do this, needed to defend the both of them.

“With Levi, it’s not little,” (Y/N) said, causing Hanji to squawk with surprise and laughter. “Now get the fuck out. We don’t want money from you.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” William asked, his expression revealing his shock at her determined response. “You need me!”

“No, (Y/N)’s right,” Erwin cut in. “We don’t require your services anymore, now leave. If you refuse, we will have every right to arrest you for trespassing and possible conspiring against the military and government.”

William’s mouth sat agape as he looked at each officer in the room, searching for the support he would never find. “This is an outrage!” He yelled.

“What? Upset that you couldn’t manipulate us into cooperating? Angry that you couldn’t hang your wealth over us like a bone for a dog?” Levi taunted, confidence seeping back into his voice as he thought back over what his lover had said to defend him.

“I- I…,”

“Get. Out,” (Y/N) said with gritted teeth, her eyes piercing him like daggers.

William fumbled for a minute before he stood clumsily from his chair and backed into the closed door. When he saw that once again, nobody was going to come for his aid, William threw all of them a dark look and flung open the door, fleeing from the scene, screaming about how they were all going to regret this someday.

(Y/N) finally completely relaxed when the sound of his voice could no longer be heard echoing down the hall, a soft sigh slipping from her lips as she collapsed back into her chair.

“(Y/N), I am so sorry, I had no idea, if I had, I never would have-”

“It’s quite alright, Erwin,” (Y/N) said with a smile. “I’m upset that all of you had to experience that, but in a way, I’m happy I finally got to stand up to him the way I wanted to. The last time I saw him, I didn’t have the strength, which was why he came back in the first place. He thought he’d find what he saw all those years ago, a scared, trembling little girl who was stuck under his thumb.”

Erwin nodded but it was obvious that he still felt guilty, his brows furrowed as he looked between Levi and (Y/N), his eyes filled with remorse. Levi nodded at his Commander, his own version of accepting Erwin’s apology and stood from his chair without a word, reaching down to offer (Y/N) his hand. (Y/N) took it without hesitation and followed Levi out of the conference room while the other leaders packed everything up.

Neither of them spoke as they walked through the halls together, both of them lost in their own thoughts as they made their way to Levi’s rooms. Once they reached the familiar wooden door, Levi held it open for her to enter before closing it behind them and leaning against it. He wouldn’t meet (Y/N)’s gaze once the door was shut, crossing his arms as he suddenly found the window above his desk to be very fascinating.

“Levi?” (Y/N) called to him.

“Hm?”

“I’m sorry I said some of the more…, private things back there. I hope I didn’t embarrass you too much, it was just all I could think of to get back at him. To show him that I wasn’t fazed by his insults.”

Levi met her gaze for half a second before looking away again. “You have nothing to apologize for, I’m proud of you, how you stood up to him back there.”

“Then what’s wrong?” (Y/N) asked, moving up to him to cup his cheek in her warm palm, making him meet her soft gaze.

Levi cursed himself for feeling this way, for letting William’s comments get the better of him, but he felt like he had to ask anyway. His silver eyes darted over to the pile of books on his coffee table before closing them, taking a deep breath.

“(Y/N), I know I shouldn’t be thinking this way, but I have to ask…, am I, enough for you?”

“Oh my gods, Levi!” (Y/N) gasped. “Of course you’re enough! More than enough! I meant what I said back there, when I said you were the best thing in my life, that was not for show. I meant every word, don’t you dare let his insults get the better of you, none of them are true.”

“I know I shouldn’t and I know you would never lie to me but…, I can’t help but wonder if you would be happier with someone who could dedicate more time for you. Someone who could shower you with the pretty words I’m shit at expressing. You deserve those things, (Y/N), and I worry that I can’t be there for you when you need me.”

“I love no one other than you, Levi Ackerman, social awkwardness and all,” (Y/N) said with a giggle when he threw her a half-hearted glare. “Listen to me, Levi. I don’t need all of those things. I can feel how much you love me in the little things you do for me. Everyday, you make me feel so loved and important, you don’t need fancy words to tell me the things I already know. You have your own love language and that is more than enough for me.”

“You’re never bored with me?” Levi asked, glancing at the books again.

(Y/N) followed his line of sight and rolled her eyes, leaning forward to rest her forehead against his.

“No, silly. I love you and I could never be tired of you. I have all of those books on the table because I love to read, it’s one of my favorite past times. All of that stuff he said about me only doing it when I have nothing better to do is complete bullshit. I will say it again, I love you for you and you alone. Never doubt that, okay? Besides, every day is an adventure with you, don’t you dare try to add more shit to our lives, I might just explode,” (Y/N) said with a light laugh.

Levi nodded and chuckled a little, his eyes closing as he leaned against her.

“Thank you, (Y/N). I love you, I’m glad you know that.”

“I love you too,” (Y/N) said.

They were content to stay there for a moment, relishing in the feeling of being close to one another when (Y/N) suddenly leaned forward to nip at his earlobe, causing Levi to jerk.

“You know, I meant what I said at the end too,” (Y/N) smiled wickedly against his skin. “That noise isn’t little when I’m with you.”

Levi couldn’t keep the grin off his face as he felt her leave light kisses along his throat, the quietest moan slipping past his lips. “Is that so?”

“Uhm hm,” (Y/N) hummed. “Why don’t you help me prove it?”

“With pleasure,” Levi said, quickly scooping her up in his arms, beaming at the squeal of surprise and delight she released into the air. (Y/N) smiled against him as she looped her legs around his waist, her arms locking behind his neck to toy with the fresh hair of his undercut.

When they reached the bedroom, Levi shut the door behind him with his foot and set (Y/N) on the bed, watching with glittering eyes as she bounced on the mattress. Her wicked grin matched his as he crawled over her, his hands roaming, as he leaned down to give her ear lobe the same treatment she gave him. His warm breath made her shudder as he leaned in close, gently brushing the shell of her ear with his teeth before he spoke.

“I’m not going to lie, I can’t keep quiet when I’m with you either.”

(Y/N) moaned at his words and writhed beneath him when he started to attack her neck, her heart pounding with excitement and intense love for the man above her. She knew it would still take her some time to navigate through this new relationship with her Captain, knew that there would be nights where she struggled with the actions of her previous lover; but she also knew that she couldn’t have asked for a better person to share her life with as she looked into Levi’s eyes, the love she felt for him reflected right back at her.

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