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suffarustuffaru · 8 months

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actually here’s an interesting question that’s been in my head for a hot minute now: what do you think a crusch if/other faction if would look like?

one of my favorite characters has always been crusch (probably my favorite aside from julius?), and interestingly it was the moment after the battle of the white whale that sold her for me- her convo with subaru was so genuine and full of respect and it since then has stood out amongst my favorites since it’s one of the first times subaru outside of the emilia camp was recognized for his decisions ^_^

it also piqued my interest because there’s definitely implications/said somewhere that if subaru met crusch first he’d choose her, which makes me think about how that dynamic would play out, ya know? like we haven’t really gotten a huge expansion on crusch herself as we have with anastasia/pricilla and soon felt

also a crusch: if would toootally have different relationships defining wilhelm & felix too and basically everyone else lol

love ur analyses keep up da good work fam!!!!!!!

YO its cool seeing a crusch fan around :DD !! also thank you very much for liking my analysis posts pfft. also whew….. ive been writing my answer for this ask on and off for a while hah its super long oops wkdndnsn

but ok its super interesting to hear what drew you to crusch in the first place - crusch is a character im definitely interested in (i would LOVE to see her finally expanded upon!!) and shes such a respectable person for sure <3 and you definitely have a point that its one of the first time subaru outside of the emilia camp was recognized!! though i didnt know that there were implications that if subaru met crusch first he'd choose her - i suppose that makes sense in that subaru really respects and likes crusch, and hes such a moldable character - for lack of a better term - bc its sooo easy for him to go in all sorts of different directions. a crusch if is an interesting possibility and im sure it absolutely wouldve happened in some form in some other universe :O !!

alright. as for a crusch if - yeah youre right, thered be such a different dynamic between subaru, the crusch camp, and everyone around them. :o im not Entirely sure how a crusch if would go but i certainly have ideas!!! though im not sure if im entirely an expert on them given i still havent finished the wilhelm-centric ex novels or read many crusch camp stories, but i did read ex 1 and 4 and enjoyed them quite a lot <3 along with you know, the main route. but i do really like the crusch camp and i hope theyre expanded upon eventually.

gonna put More thoughts under the cut (note that i have a Lot of opinions on the crusch camp hah):

ok first of all. i think that the crusch camp Does have a little wasted potential in canon and i think that crusch if is the perfect opportunity to explore Everything with crusch camp. just in the sense that you know, crusch hasnt been expanded upon just yet. not that felt has been expanded upon much either but at least we get a lot of details about her and her whole backstory with being a member of the royal family + her relationship with rom opens itself up to a lot of possibilities (theres a lot of History going around in the felt camp regarding felt, reinhard, carol and grimm, rom, etc being in the same camp given their family connections, demihuman war history, etc).

and not that we Dont get details about crusch of course, but i feel that even in her Own centric content, shes a little overshadowed by Everyone else sometimes. like i WANT to focus more on crusch as a person!! she gets cool moments yeah, but as much as i enjoyed reading ex1 im forever gonna be salty that her plot in ex1 was like about people having problems with her gender expression (ill go into this again later bc i know its connected to that plot point of crusch as a noble leader vs crusch as. a woman.) for more than half the runtime and everyone around her was discussing about what to do with her. and then in main route shes put through the RINGER between being cut down by gluttony, having her memories erased, and the dragon blood in arc 5 - and yet it STILL feels like the story doesnt focus enough on HER own pain. how is SHE feeling about this????? shes getting her shit rocked left and right and her sense of identity is being shaken along with it (see: her becoming more shy and withdrawn after her memories are gone) and yet i feel like we STILL dont hear about her Directly enough T^T

and also i Dont like that in the main route, the crusch camps connections to the royal family (with wilhelm being assigned to aid the royal family and bc of that heinkel was assigned to the white whale and so theresia went in heinkels stead + ferris and crusch's relationships with fourier) ARENT that explored. esp when like felt comes into play publically in arc 3 and the crusch camp BARELY REACTS. YOU THINK THEY WOULD REACT MORE TO FELT BEING HERE AND REINHARD SPONSORING FELT. its especially kind of painful after you read ex1 and its like ?? so why didnt they react more to felt being there??? related to + looking exactly like crusch and ferris's dead boyfriend, nonetheless, esp when their goal is to kill the dragon bc the royal family all died as far as they knew and NOW theres someone in the royal family that actually lived???? whos a rival for the throne now??? also i feel like the potential of like. ferris and wilhelms dynamic isnt explored either. like i have to wonder how they seem like theyre on decent/good terms in canon when ferris is friends with reinhard, wilhelms role in the demihuman war, and also wilhelm fucking up his family (with ferris being Aware of a lot of reinhards family situation, of course). and also of course wilhelm has Things going on with rom and carol and grimm bc demihuman war... ex novel things...

so like i think that inherently the crusch and felt camps ARE kind of sort of intertwined in this way bc of ALL these reasons. so i think if youre exploring crusch camp content all of this SHOULD be acknowledged. or maybe thats the felt camp fan in me talking but i DO GENUINELY THINK THE CRUSCH AND FELT CAMPS ARE CONNECTED A LOT ☝️☝️☝️

and so ok back to crusch if things!!!! i have no idea how the Exact plot goes but like i think this is all very dependent on how the crusch if divergence even starts. which Makes sense but yeah :o i mean i feel like i can only see it happening right from the get go in arc 1. and also this goes with what you said - if subaru met them first he'd probs choose to join them. but tbh i also kinda sort of like the possibility that maybe at least Some of arc 1 still happened in another font so subaru can be like "yeah lol this blond girl with red eyes was there along with this giant dude and t -" and crusch and ferris are thinking "OK IT COULD BE ANY RANDOM GIRL WITH BLOND HAIR AND RED EYES THATS NOT A COMPLETE GUARANTEE ITS SOMEONE FROM THE ROYAL FAMILY RIGHT??" and also wilhelms gonna vaguely go "hey whats this giants name again....." anyway yeah gotta plant those seeds for future plot things???? yes. also its a good segue into subaru learning more crusch camp related history yes. maybe that (subarus arc 1 info) is what allows him to join crusch camp too????? yeah im having trouble brainstorming ideas on how he even joins the camp but im guessing its a “subaru accidentally stumbles across stuff and crusch camp is like well i guess we just Kinda have to let you in……. like taking pity on a stray kitten…… maybe youll be useful… and also we do pity you a bit yeah you seem very lost” thing. 👍👍👍

(or alternatively you could have subaru branch off into crusch camp at arc 3 or smth given hes like actually physically at their place and away from emilia camp now but at the same time i doubt that could even happen given the position he was in arc 3???? like post-royal selection drama?? yeah i dont really see it happening imo HAH)

anyway. yeah so its like. inevitably subaru is gonna figure out you know the history behind all of the others in the crusch camp. like whether thats by doing his own research - especially bc you know wilhelm, crusch, ferris are all very well known by this point and have all kinds of rumors and info on them flying around - and also like. by getting closer with everyone. i think that if subaru joined crusch camp early, either he knows hes got rbd bc of arc 1 and manages to avoid it for a while, is my guess, given crusch camp doesnt get involved in life threatening things until. the white whale.

but until then i think subarus probably not gonna die. and i think hes probs gonna be in Fear of that happening again, maybe he blocks out a bit of arc 1 some more bc ahhaah i havent died or anything in so long so surely that never happened. maybe he tries to tell crusch once he gets closer with her or maybe he doesnt try at all bc hahaha did that even happen???? or maybe he asks her about her dp and if its Only about truths from that persons pov rather than Fact and shes like "yeah no its personal truths only, so even if someone is completely wrong about a fact but Believes it wholeheartedly its still gonna register as the truth" and hes like FUCK ok. smth like that?? yes. gotta give him inner turmoil even when hes not actively in danger. bc he Would have that yes. but either way i think he’d be curious and wanna know the specifics of her dp anyway!!!

yeah so anyway the white whale happens and subarus whole shit gets wrecked oops.... and my guess is that you know hes gonna loop a whole shit ton of times and its gonna be complete and utter hell for him. but also this is kind of a little bit dependent on how exactly the royal selection goes for him - but i HIGHLY doubt itd go the same as canon. i doubt he’d even make a scene, tbh—i mean assuming subaru joins crusch camp very early somehow, between crusch and ferris and wilhelm the three of them are gonna Really whip him into shape. metaphorically beat his s1 flaws out of him. bc like—i mean in canon subaru Did learn and grow yes, but he didnt Have to learn everything so harshly (ok but canon subaru Did have to get beat in the duel though or he wouldve died skcbsnd but i still think that subaru can still learn the same lessons more Gently whenever possible. hes a normal teenage boy trying his best!!). i think crusch camp would be good for him in this way, i mean crusch is a very duty-focused person and ferris and wilhelm are blunt people. ferris especially is not gonna take any bullshit wkdndnd (ESPECIALLY when subaru could humiliate crusch and the entire camp) and wilhelm sees himself in subaru and is gonna go “ah…….. you should. not act like that. let me train you.” and ALSO im a firm believer and enjoyer in the reinhard-ferris-julius friendship and i think that reinhard ESPECIALLY must have communicated with crusch camp about felt before arc 3, otherwise crusch camp wouldve had a stronger reaction to felts grand entrance into the royal selection. also if subarus getting closer to crusch camp then of course he figures out stuff like the reinhard-ferris-julius friendship.

again not entirely sure about specific plot beats but depending on how things go emilia camp may or may not get royally fucked (as an emilia camp enjoyer im very saddened by this 😔) but i DO feel like subaru would still be sympathetic towards them in a crusch if. and also theres Definitely gonna be at least one loop during arc 3 where the white whale Does erase crusch and wilhelm and ferris goes insane (like how they end up in pride if. yeah.) so subaru gets to see the consequences if they lose to the white whale. but i DO think that the final loop should still have the consequences of crusch being targeted by gluttony and losing her memories. its interesting to explore!!! especially if subaru himself still becomes a victim of gluttony in some way—maybe they both become victims of gluttony there?? or it happens to subaru later?? and i feel like arc 5 is Definitely another opportunity for some crazy looping. for sure.

also roswaal may want to try some shit bc Why is subaru in another camp this is not according to plan. so more opportunities to torture subaru 👍👍👍 and also crusch camp in canon keeps taking one L after another so you know. familiar territory in terms of how subaru and co are doing 😭😭😭😭

but anyway. i think a crusch camp and felt camp alliance (or Almost alliance?) is in order bc. well we know subaru he tries to fix things. hes nosy. he learns eventually All the crusch camp history and is like ok so why arent we allies with felt camp at least for rn??? like urging wilhelm to make it up with reinhard and such, etc etc. and crusch and felt are the candidates that are both Very deeply unsatisfied with the current system of lugunica and want to remake everything to be better!! and also like. how does ferris even feel about wilhelm. i lowkey want crusch if to have a plot beat where ferris-crusch-subaru metaphorically beat up wilhelm for being Terrible. actually scratch lowkey i want highkey. and i think crusch is just like yeah sorry i do respect you in a lot of ways wilhelm and youre a very key member in our camp and i appreciate it but also fighting against demihumans in the demihuman war + being awful to your family was definitely. 😬 ESPECIALLY since she grew up with ferris too okay. she and her dad literally took in ferris after being stuck in a basement for the first nine years of his life. and while ferris and reinhards family situations are Very Different, the common thread is generational trauma and Passed Down abilities/traits that also relate to the trauma so. i feel like ferris at Least has some secret strong feelings about wilhelm ok i dont care what tappei has to say on this (actually i do care but i will care less if tappei has a bad take on this bc ferris and reinhard are FRIENDS + WILHELM WAS WRONG FOR THE DEMIHUMAN WAR ok ferris was horribly abused also bc of fantasy racism).

and alright ok im gonna talk about some more crusch-ferris-subaru dynamics bc subaru and wilhelm are most likely gonna fall into their weird grandson-grandfather dynamic again. especially now that subarus in crusch camp.

so—gender expression. the way crusch-ferris-subaru dress and their relationships with this part of their identities. personally i hc all three of them as nonbinary but of course u can have different hcs/opinions than me :o either way though, gender expression is Very important to all three of them and its given focus in the plot multiple times so im gonna try to examine how its handled in canon a bit!! theres this one bit from the arc 5 wn that i think about a lot:

so you know, subaru has his internalized issues, toxic masculinity for one, so hes struggling with like. being a man but also like he genuinely enjoys crossdressing but also hes been judged for it in the past and he has?? complicated feelings on it. hes struggling with his identity and who he is in many many different ways and gender is one key aspect of it. and then he comes along and crusch and ferris BASICALLY challenge him and his internalized ideas on it—crusch being a woman who dresses more masculine and ferris being a man who dresses more feminine. they challenge even the fantasy world’s society too—crusch more so, bc shes a woman and in the public eye due to her family and shes expected to dress and behave the way a noblewoman should. more feminine. but she refuses which is a point of contention in ex1 of course…

ferris seems to get less scrutiny from the public on this (at least for This exact reason, we only see subaru iirc judge him for it on screen) but my guess is bc he 1. can easily pass as a girl and 2. he has other more Noticeable traits to the public (having the Blue title and being demihuman for example). but also theres another aspect to ferris and its that he also dresses femininely to represent “the feminine side crusch lacks” iirc…. which. to be quite frank thats. that feels a little odd to me but anyway im gonna choose to look into it a bit regardless bc i think it could potentially be interesting maybe?? but also the fourier-crusch duel in ex1 already felt off to me wkfndnd it was such a fun scene but like??? why are we policing what crusch wants to wear??? but. anyway.

so about ferris being “the feminine side crusch lacks”……. ferris and crusch's gender expression are completely opposite, ferris being feminine of course and crusch being masculine. ferris and crusch are very much like each others equal halves in canon - you dont find one without the other, theyre basically a pair (especially given they fit together into this perfect trio with fourier and now fouriers gone :(( ). ferris and crusch balance each other out in a lot of ways, especially given ferris's mischevious yet perceptive personality and crusch being more serious but a bit airheaded with emotional matters. and also both of them being more blunt honest people. so like their gender expression balances each other out bc theyre opposites. ferris wants to keep balancing out crusch, whos so focused on duty that her needs and her desires and emotions sometimes go by the wayside (id personally attribute at least a tiny bit of her airheadedness with emotions to this too - when you have so much responsibilities to attend to, your emotions often take a backseat. especially when you take into account people judging crusch for how she expresses herself....).

but also ferris does note that "because crusch-sama said this suits ferris, what i am, i am, and this most suits the radiance of ferris' soul. crusch-samas words, ferris will repay with everything that i am". im gonna interpret this as crusch recognizing that ferris truly likes to express his appearance in a feminine way and providing ferris with the means and support to do so, especially since crusch herself growing up also prefers to express herself as opposite to her biological sex and also bc crusch and her family took in ferris so they grew up together. which i think is very sweet <3

and also more regarding crusch, in canon she expresses herself more femininely after getting her memories wiped by gluttony........... i think there might (emphasis on Might) be vaguely a kind of "feminine=weak and masculine=strong thats why crusch goes back to being feminine after memories gone" undertone if you choose to see it that way but im Electing to ignore it. i think crusch's change in expression post-gluttony though like emphasizes how her identity gets shaken after her memories are erased. she was a confident person before and now shes more timid and withdrawn bc she isnt sure of herself or her abilities anymore :(( which is definitely smth that should be explored in Any crusch camp centric content, i think.

anyway. yeah also i def think the ferris-crusch-subaru gender things should be explored. its already briefly touched on in canon with stuff like that arc 5 wn snippet i shared, but i do think subaru being friends with ferris and crusch will help him with confidence regarding how he likes to express himself as well. which i think would be very sweet to explore <3 (sorry this briefly derailed into a ferris-crusch-subaru gender expression analysis but this part of their characters is important i feel aljdlfjsldfj and its SUCH good parallel between them)

as for general dynamics stuff between the three of them. i think ferris is on the fence about subaru at first and goes from "hes an idiot..." to "hes an idiot <3" i have no specific thoughts on this at the moment thats just the vibe thats probably happening. maybe a bit of the same with crusch but yes im sure crusch and ferris of course grow to respect subaru, and im sure they notice pretty quick that subaru wears his emotions on his sleeve. hes an honest person in almost all things, or at least he tries to be, unless hes being held at gunpoint to keep things secret bc rbd lajdlfjl. and we Know subaru is a very respectable person whos Really good at heart, he just had all these hurdles to get through. and also - subaru is a tiny bit similar to fourier in terms of like Loud, Passionate, Determined, kind of an idiot in a few ways but a Lovable one, that sort of thing. of course ferris and crusch are VERY MUCH not going to be replacing fourier. absolutely not they would never in a million years. but fourier like Really fit in with ferris and crusch bc of the three of them having different personality traits, so i think subaru would fit well with ferris and crusch for similar reasons. if that makes sense. the energies just match up. ferris and subaru particularly bring a lot of fun and lightheartedness and ease weight on crusch’s shoulders, crusch supports them both, and all three of them reel each other in in different ways <3

ok also regarding any romance............ personally i dont see the appeal of crusch x subaru but thats just me lajsdlfjls and also my heart got stolen by fourier x ferris x crusch oops. plus i do enjoy the ferris and subaru + subaru and crusch friendship possibilities. but if anyones reading this and is a fan of crusch x subaru feel free to send me propaganda for it bc im very curious as to what makes you really like the ship <3

yeah so anyway. this has been my extremely long explanation as to how crusch if could maybe go and also all sorts of stuff id love to see explored when it comes to crusch if or crusch camp centered content in general <3 its hard to tell how a crusch if would go further down the line bc you know, the more that changes from main route the more things go Different, but i think its fascinating to think about. hope this kind of answered your question op? :O :D !!

ok but as for other camps. i have absolutely no clue how itd go but ana camp would Definitely have to involve subaru trying to invent things that carry on from earth and such and felt camp Absolutely involves more trying to solve more astrea drama. no specific thoughts on this yet (ALSO I STILL HAVENT CAUGHT UP ON ANA CAMP SIDE STORIES... ONE DAY. I SWEAR.) but you know, lots of interesting possibilities here!! :O

#rezero #crusch karsten #ferris argyle #felix argyle #natsuki subaru #wilhelm van astrea #i always forget to tag both of ferris's names fr....#ask #tldr i really like crusch camp they got a lot of potential for exploration and i hope theyre explored more bc theyre very interesting <33 #and i think crusch and ferris sadly have their characters flattened a lot in english fic :((( theyre so fascinating they deserve so much #better #AND CRUSCH DESERVES TO SHINE EVEN MORE THAN SHE ALREADY DOES IN HER MOST BADASS MOMENTS

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elizais · 3 months

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elizai what do you think about the book cover of no longer human? the pink one with the black silhouette?

ARgh thank you for sending this!! one thing everyone will come to learn about me is i love analysing this type of stuff.

also i giggle when i see the cover because one time in an english lesson like 2 years ago my teacher was yapping on about how book covers have to reflect the mood of the book and she said, "for example, you won't have a sad book with a hot pink cover." and i had no longer human on my desk and she had read it bcs she runs my school's library and she bought it for me and it was my moment to shine by proving her WRONG!! she is my bff though

okay i'll do it now!

no real spoilers, i just talk about how the MC feels but if u have watched bsd with your eyes open and know a little about dazai you will get the jist of what i'm talking about.

OKAY! initially, you need to state the obvious. which is it is a human-like black figure on a hot pink background. that is essentially it. but !!! if u saw what i said about like those bsd scenes on that one reblog you know i love colour symbolism!!

so: hot pink: "playful, sociable, optimism, amusing/humorous" and if you have read the book, you know that yozo oba takes up a personality of entertaining others through his actions during his school days. attempting to be a "class clown" type. i don't own a copy of the book but if i did i would pull up quotes TRUST!!

so (younger) yozo does seem to represent these characteristics - maybe not optimism but that is up to reader's interpretation in my opinion.

but the interesting part of the cover is the figure. it takes the shape of a person, roughly at least, yet isn't defined enough. its torso is quite large in proportion to the head, the shoulders curve too easily..

and the title is "no longer human", and yozo doesn't feel human. if you are only familiar with fictional dazai, he is loosely based off of yozo oba. once you read the book, you will pick up similarities between them consistently.

but yozo doesn't feel human, so that figure on the front is just that. a figure, a symbol of the emptiness he feels inside. he knows that physically he is human, which is why as a consumer we can see that the figure resembles something like us, but he doesn't let his soul feel that way.

possibly, the torso is so disproportionate compared to the head because he is harbouring the loneliness, longing and the rest of his dull emotions within.

may i also add, we can just see these recognisable parts of a human which is how yozo feels. you can tell he is a human physically but not emotionally. as an audience, you do not form any attachment to the person on the cover as there just.. isn't much to see? which is why whoever designed it done such a good job with it. granted, i am probably thinking about this much more than they did but it is truly a fantastic cover.

as i write this, i am kicking myself for not having a copy of the book with me because i would be able to write much more for you! i do love writing analyses, so if people ask i would be more than happy to write some more if i am confident enough in them. but i think i mostly like to do them because i talk a lot and can talk about anything.

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #bungo stray dogs #no longer human #japanese literature #osamu dazai

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artinandwritin · 2 months

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For the ask game 6, 10, 11, and 14... hopefully those can fill your time but let me know if you need more lmao!

AGH TY for asking so many!! Im certain ill be able to fill a lot of time with those <333

6. Favourite ships; like i mentioned on your post, for me it really fluctuates what ship is in the front of my mind on any given day. Ofc, hiccstrid is a big one (theyre really good to me personally) and I'm currently also in a big snotstrid mood bc of my friend @spacenintendogs 's dragons off the coast au! (Also p l e a s e if you aren't familiar yet with dragons off the coast im begging you to look into it, its such an interesting take on a modern au and Rose's writing and worldbuilding is absolutely phenomonal). Fishlout also takes up a space in my heart, adore them so much! The dynamic is so good.

Ruffnut and her army of men is also so good, and the dynamics she has with Eret, Fishlegs and Snotlout is really fun and has a lot of potential. Tho i do also think she and Heather have potential. As do Eret and Heather! That whole group can just be mixed and matched together haha. Heather and Fishlegs ofc is also wholesome, they deserved more than this!

Due to me being so involved in the oc side of the fandom and being a really big supporter of everything oc (which is common knowledge after 4 years of this haha), I also love a lot of people's ocxcanon ships! Such as Rose's oc Ermintrude and Snotlout, @nosuda-cringe 's oc Mayeth Vang and Snotlout, and ofc the ships you've hinted and teased in otwd (zephbal save me... save me zephbal. I think about them a. Normal amount. Same with castav but i wouldnt let them save me, they need to save themselves first), plus a lot of others. Theyre all very dear to me <333

10: favourite songs from the soundtrack; OKAY so ive actually got history with this! When i was about 13-16-ish i had music classes as part of my middle school experience (lmao) and we were given the freedom to do any project we wanted. In those 2-3 years i used the httyd soundtrack twice for projects!

First I used Forbidden Friendship (that song man. That song) as like. An underbeat or smt? To add things on. Im sure it sounded horrendous and y'know the other kids in my class laughed at me bc of me using an animated movie's soundtrack, but the song did remain a favourite of mine and still is.

The second time I used the soundtrack was just after the third movie released! We were once again granted freedom and I decided to learn Once There Were Dragons on the piano! (Im not certain i still know it LMAO its been 5 years, this was even before I learned about OTWD which is in hindsight pretty funny)

Ofc once again the kids around me weren't amused and I couldn't play piano to save my life (my hands are too small to reach the octaves needed which. Sucked haha) but i had a lot of fun and the song really stayed with me throughout the years, it always brings me at least some sort of emotion <3

11; favourite locations; OH gotta be Old Berk and Dragon Island. We spend so much time in Old Berk during the shows and the movies and the form of the island is just so... memorable, in a way. In school of dragons, i always loved climbing the Great Hall up to Gothi's little hut haha. Miss that silly little island.

Dragon Island is soooo underused but i adore the implications sm! Like, the Red Death's corpse is there (and we all know how much i love environment changing giants) and we haven't really seen it since RoB/DoB. Underused location in my humble opinion.

Honorable mentions to Berserker Island and the weird treasure island from rtte season 1. They really slayed haha

14; favourite animation style; everyone knows i'm a big hand animation girlie so I have to go for those little moments in the franchise where more 2D animation is implemented (like in Fishlegs' leadership dream and the Boneknapper special). The keyframing and the subtle movements are really worth analysing and i absolutely adore how it's used. A real treat for us animators! (Special mention to the animation that's been going around from the live special, so good)

As for 3d styles, I have to say the first movie. It has a very raw edge which i love and it gives everything a great feeling. Plus, the animation error during forbidden friendship they left in the final cut owns me <333

#ty sm for asking!!! i had sm fun with these #the animation question got me HYPED #And i always love thinking about the httyd ships and the different dynamics every one could give #really brightened up my morning ty!!! <333 #httyd #how to train your dragon #ask game

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vypridae · 4 months

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HOPE YOUR HEAD FEELS BETYER!! HEADACHES SUCK

anywayys requesting mori or tecchou or fyodor for the character thing [or bc you don’t need to do all of them pick and choose <3]

DOING ALL OF THEM i cant do the doodles i dont have the motivation for art rn i lied about that BUT ILL DO ALL THREE OF THEM

under a cut because these got LONG

MORI

first impression

honestly i think when i first met mori in the anime i was like oh hes sweet i like him . then it was the whole "woah port mafia boss!!!!" thing and i was like oh hes sweet and deadly i like him .

impression now

i love him soo much did you know. hes so fun hes just a silly guy . silly !!!

favorite moment

honestly the moment (from the manga specifically) thats stuck with me the most was the frame that he like, put tachihara's hd hat on his head and was like "you dropped something" it just STUCK with me

outside of canon manga stuff tho i love the little intersection in wan ep 11 that hes like "WHAT DID YOU SEND ME DAZAI ... THESE ARE ... SCARY!!!!!" like hes just so silly i love him

idea for a story

genuinely i do not think about story ideas enough to have a solid one for him but if it counts i often think about him accidentally stealing one of fukuzawa's scarves from That Era i forgot how old he was at the time . and then just keeping it . and fukuzawa finds out somehow . i love them shut up

unpopular opinion

uhhh liking mori in general FSJKHASJKHASFJKG like have you seen this fandom . 99% of the people here fucking hate mori with a passion . and just liking him is super controversial . aside from that though ive seen analyses (tending to be like "mori and pedophilia" or something along those lines) and honestly they make me feel like hes just being really uuuh whats the word. really abstract with how he says things i guess? like one in particular i remember was a word in the original manga (jap) and he said a word that means both "wife" and "thing by my side" or something like that, when theres so many different words he could have used if he wanted to be Creepy specifically. idk theres my mori opinion its so controversial i know block me if u'd like but i love him

favorite relationship

HAHA zskk . easily . love those dumbass gayasses

favorite headcanon

uuuuuh . probably trans mori honestly FJKHASDFGHADFG maybe im biased (trans) but like ... idk i am very biased about this

TECCHOU

first impression

genuinely when i first met all of the hunting dogs i forgot all of their names immediately . as chapters went on though i think the two main things i remember thinking "hes adorable" and "hes in love with jouno 100%"

impression now

i . love him . so much . he is the silliest little guy ever and hes also me . also hes still in love with jouno btw

favorite moment

every one of them /j no but fr in specific i love the ant scene (it was one of the only ones i remembered from the manga after i read that chapter i think), the justice speech / kenji fight (GOD hes so cool) and when he gets hit by the car (that was THE FUNNIEST ever)

idea for a story

oh my god okay so imagine jouno is sick and tecchou is taking care of him . that is all

unpopular opinion

i dont actually think i have an unpopular opinion for tecchou . at least not one that i can think of???? like with tecchou i think most of my hcs line up with how a lot of the fandom talks about him

favorite relationship

EASILY WITHOUT A DOUBT ITS SUEGIKU OH MY GOD

favorite headcanon

he can cook !!!!! he can cook really well and i like to imagine even though he refuses to eat anything thats not the same color he likes cooking stuf he knows jouno likes and doesnt force him to eat any of his "weird" food combos because he knows jouno doesnt really like stuff like that so he cooks how jouno likes for jouno and how he likes for himself . UAHUAUAHGUA

FYODOR

first impression

i think i initially went "oh my god" when i saw fyodor . fell for him IMMEDIATELY and also initially hated fyolai???

impression now

still falling . now love fyolai . improvements !!!

favorite moment

YES. /j

in all seriousness, some of my favorite moments with fyodor are uuh

the dead apple scene where hes on the rooftop and goes "this is too much fun :)" because i think honestly that scene made me fall SO HARD . also he just looks really pretty there dont question me

time for happy group counseling hour !!!!!! hmm? hi everybody im your host fyodor dostevsky- okay hold up stop right there. whats the problem? exactly, what? exactly what what? ooooooooh . life counseling . < that whole scene

ALSO THE THE THE the tHE . WHERE HE KICKS NIKOLAI'S BOOMBOX IN THE MANGA. HSE SO MEAN I LOVE HIM

idea for a story

oh my god. ok so basically . connected oneshots but one member of fyosiglai is individually insecure for some reason and the other two are like FUCK NO YOU ARENT and love them and cherish and praise them until theyre like oguhgug

unpopular opinion

hes pretty i LOVE HIM hes SO PRETTY ive seen HUNDREDS of people say hes UGLY hes SO NOT UGLY i LOVE HI

(in all seriousness, ive seen a lot of people say he'd be like, an abusive manipulative awful husband / boyfriend / whatever, and i literally just cannot see that happening . like, i feel like he'd want the perfect world FOR his s/o, he fell for them for a reason sort of thing . idk maybe i just love him but hgjkahfjkahdfjk)

favorite relationship

fyosiglai. or fyodor and me /j (/hj)

favorite headcanon

UUUUUH UH UH UH UH UH OH MY GOD I HAVE SO MANY HCS ABOUT HIM I LOVE HIM hes a cat person thats one of my favorites . if there is a cat on his lap he will not move

i also love the idea that he cannot for the life of him play horror games because he gets jumpscared and screams and he HATES that bc "vulnerability bad" (nikolai likes when he plays horror games anyway he thinks its funny when he gets jumpscared and screams really loud)

actually scratch that . fyodor is just bad at video games because i love that idea . hes good at logic games but when it just comes down to "survive!!!" or "do this objective" or something i love the idea that hes just Dog Ass at it

#xanbox #bsd #mori ougai #tecchou suehiro #fyodor dostoevsky #originally in the mori unpopular opinion one i remembered the word thats not abstract mid sentence and then i forgor #feel like these arent very good sorry JAYAUIHASIJFHAJKSFD #been writing for like 30 minutes im so fr #xanthinks

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tutuandscoot · 7 months

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SD: Dream a Little Dream of Me ~ 2014 Sochi Winter Olympics

For the sake of this not becoming a university length dissertation, in analysing this program I am going to focus on discussing the textbook example of musicality they display in this performance. (Though there is so much to love about it from costumes to skating technique, but the musicality is 1000 chefs kisses 🤌).

This is going to be a bit tricky to break down in gif form, so please if you feel it necessary jump back and forth between watching the video and this analysis.. I’ll do my best to bring it to life through text!

Before that I really do have to comment on their performance quality and showmanship, and it’s not like this performance is an outlier as a supreme example over their other performances, but it is just such an easy to understand example of what being a truly gifted performer is. In more lyrical/contemporary programs, it’s more subjective and can be said to be too over or under done, this program however.. it’s like they’ve been pulled straight out of a mid century movie. It’s hard for me to say what is their best dance style because they really do excel at them all, but this really is just.. as close to perfect as you can get. Its fits them so well. They have the EXACT amount of expression needed to carry the story, the tone, the movement, interaction with each other, and are able to make it visible for the judges, audience close up, watching on TV, and way in the back row of the arena. This is what we call in the theatre/dance world ‘projection’- that encompasses how long you have to hold an expression for, what angle your head needs to be at, how much to squint your eyes, how much you interact together/to each other as opposed to the audience. Their field of performance is unique bc they have essentially 5 sides they are performing to - 4 sides of an arena and the cameras. Most dancers/ stage actors have just the front. There is never a moment or angle from which VM aren’t being watched.

I can’t even begin to explain how rare a quality and ability to perform like them is, let alone find the one other person in the world as equally charismatic as you and have that performance relationship work- perfect compatibility. Tessa is a freaking superstar. She’s so absurdly beautiful, she has the most gorgeous sparkling eyes and infectious smile. Her face just reads soooo well from an audience POV. It sounds harsh to say but some people just do not have the face for this- and it’s not about being attractive or beautiful- it’s just the ability to read expression. Having features in proportion to all the expressions you need to portray. Same with Scott. It really can not be said enough what a once in a lifetime gift he is to the world of dance/theatre/ performance, LET ALONE skating. I am not exaggerating: he (within their field) is akin to Fred Astaire. Not to get stereotypical, but it is just rarer to find a male performer with that kind of natural charisma, either there are more who have it and are bullied out of it bc dancing/performing is considered “girly” or they don’t have the mentors around them to see that untapped talent/potential for it to be come what it can be. And even THEN it is so incredibly rare to find. There are phenomenal male actors and dancers, but I can’t think of any- out of literal movie actors, that invoke leading man, all-round talent… just that kind of performer you don’t see anymore. Scott optimises vintage style not vintage values on the ice and in their partnership. Scott would not be out of place in the mid 1900’s classic cinema is what I’m trying to say-that kind of performer doesn’t exist anymore and there is something nice about watching watching VM, even with IDing moving in the direction it’s going now, to look back not even 10 years ago and watch this team so brilliantly skate a more traditional style of performance, and also be able to perform modern/current themes and music. VM HAVE NOT had a perfect or easy journey by any means, but by their own retelling they were incredibly fortunate to have families, coaches, mentors who nurtured them exactly how they need to be to fulfil their incomprehensible amount of talent. (Back to S) I am just so moved by him everytime I manage to draw my eyes away from T to just watch him- and the reason why I struggle to stop watching T: bc HE IS MAKING ME WATCH T.. seriously. Challenge yourself to just watch him, and see everything he does himself to shine and also make her shine.. I just can’t comprehend it. He is just so incredibly rare and a freaking gift of a performer.

To bring it back to this exact program and performance now.. I think it is one of the better examples where both of them are equally as stunning, charismatic, equally shine. S was born to be this kind of dancer.. I think is what I’m saying. It just looks so easy for him, it’s not a deep, complicated character like don jose or Christian, but it is a character none the less and is one that he just fits so perfectly. Thinking about how perfectly he expressed Farrucas which was fiery and had this internal rage that manifested as passion and love- he even more perfectly expresses this charming, handsome, leading man with stunning posture and exquisite lines. Everything he does looks easy. I love that BESP commentary where they say “he NEVER looks as though he’s got a problem” he’s doing the most complicated skating in the world to the highest quality, while partnering T seamlessly and with a smile on his face. He just gets that a huge part of his job is to make her look good. It’s not about him- it’s about her. Sorry but it is, and he FREAKING GETS THAT and has not one microfibre of resentment over that, you never see him cringe or wince or get mad at her for messing him up. This goes back to their inspiring work ethic and empathy towards each other and being the best team possible, but to be such a selfless male partner- and be that selfless when he is as good as he is… to have no resentment over that and never wish he’d been a singles skater to have the spotlight for once- nope-he doesn’t want that. Ughhh..

I know that seemed to get off track but it really does go into it- that lack of ego, when you can just be so free to perform bc you love it and you get to do it with the person you love more than anything- all that shows when they dance.

OKAY…

Back on track now.

I’m going to try to hit the big/most inspiring musical moments. (Obviously I’m not gonna hit all of them) (Apologies in advance for my attempt to text-verbalise musical accents).

On this little trumpet (I think it is excuse me if I mix up instruments), you can hardly see it, but S throws T’s arm up and its not her arm that’s expressing that full trumpet trill, but his left arm as he drops it down after throwing hers up. He also give a bit of that smirky face as he does so. Starting with this musical moment bc its so perfect but you barely see it- it’s that kind of attention to detail that is so under appreciated in this program.

Included in this one gif so I don’t waste any: the helicopter spin. This is so subtly iconic and I know I’ve read someone else point out the brilliance of this moment musically, but just let me throw in my own thoughts.

So on the lyrics “Sycamore trees”, that’s over two counts of music. T has her leg extended for one count, and S has his extended for two counts. The second count, with the sound of the music the key drops on “more”, so he continues that spin but goes to a bent supporting leg for the completion of the turn . Together they do the first part of the turn with their legs in second then S finishes it by ronding it derriere. It’s also the dynamics with the way he rounds his leg to the back… he ‘milks’ it to the end of the count.

They use A L L their music. Every single part of it. The counts, the notes, the accents, the syncopation, the breathes in the voices, the character of the voices. This is the brilliance of the choreography but a huge part of it is on VM to express the music like this- this kind of supreme musical expression is unique to VM- they hear music differently to most human beings-let alone figure skaters.

All these little indulgent body movements on the kind of ‘scats’ in the singing. They start off with accenting in the upper body, then as they need to get around the corner to be ready for the step sequence, they continue that same rhythm with their feet- they aren’t just doing the steps necessary to get them in the right spot, its like they’ve got that groove of the dance in their bodies and continue it from their upper bodies to their feet.

Its also how much they emphasise these accents. There’s one movement S does with his head, now he could’ve really thrown his head back, but instead he does a much smaller head movement that is just so perfect for the style of dance they are doing- its the restraint they show as much as it is the complete commitment and abandon to the moment.

The exact same thing a little later halfway through the non-touch step sequence (so I won’t gif it but you can go watch it). I know this got pointed out- I’m pretty sure by Kurt- about how S watches and reacts to T- its him watching her that informs how he does his steps-his steps are his reply to her- as if they were having a conversation - this is one of the biggest examples of Scott being a perfect partner. That they are doing the same choreographed steps but its performed like a conversation-letting her movement inform how he performs his.

The second half of the step sequence is just ….. i really can’t keep using the word perfect (insert the arthur fist clench meme that they were SCREWED on this score). All on one foot. The first few steps are again as if having a conversation he is responding to her saying “a huh, a huh, ok watch this” and they do that last twizzles, then…. PERFECTLY skid out along with Louie stretching out that “oohhhh” lyric, and S’s little shoulder shrug like “damn, you’re good”. (Also mirrors the skid in the finnstep that comes later). I’m not really the biggest fan of when figure skaters.. kinda acknowledge their surroundings mid program.. ie interacting with judges directly, using the boards.. but surprise surprise I love how vm do this here- they kinda go ‘oh shit, gonna run out of room’. I think again bc its so musical and is in the character of the dance it works.

This is a little off topic, but I, with all the in-depth blogging I’ve done on them, really haven’t appreciated: HOW FREAKING GOOD OF A SKATER IS TESSA!!!! Like.. of course, she’s the best ice dancer if all time, a 3x time oly champ, 5 olys medals, 3 world champs, some of the best skating skills ever, (I wrote this before their CSHOF speech) but I don’t even think of her as a skater, and yet Scott I do. I’ve been thinking about this a lot recently and even though I watch her skate on a daily basis, I don’t think of her as being part of the sport of skating.. like I can’t imagine hearing skating terminology come out of her mouth; worlds like ‘rocker’ ‘counter’ ‘spiral’ types of jumps.. I have heard her say ‘twizzles’ and ‘axel’ but it’s just this really weird thing that I don’t associate her with the sport. I probably do Scott bc he coaches, but VM together even I don’t see them as being part of that figure skating infrastructure.. its weird, maybe it’s a generational thing- like I don’t associate them with other famous skaters from before their time (that’s normal I think) but even other skaters in other disciplines from their time- Yuna, Mao, etc.. maybe bc I’ve studied them so long and feel close to them on a personal level, other skaters are more foreign to me but VM are just people. Its weird.

So when I really focus on T doing steps like this, its like ‘how does she do that’. Maybe its bc (and sorry I don’t mean this to sound pretentious) but I really relate to her and see a lot of myself in her, so if I imagine myself skating I wouldn’t have a clue what I was doing, so I think ‘but how can she do it?’

Ok, enough of that, that’s for me to work out in therapy (hahahahahhah 😅)

*MOMENT TO SAY HOW PERFECT THESE TWIZZLES WERE PLEASE GO WATCH THEM ON REPEAT*

The ending of the twizzles- that little clap scott added, as he watches her. (I really don’t like clapping in FS. Except VM- I’m bias you know that) They talked a little in the stupid show about the story of this program- though I feel that’s kinda just to set the scene of it- once that’s done they (maybe) and the audience can kinda let go of that very literal telling of them being on this date and he showed up late and he’s gotta try and charm her.. once that’s established they are really just performing- and I appreciate that bc a) it’s a sport and they have to get the required elements done, but also its not this cheesy, pantomime kinda thing- they perform as though they know the audience is smart enough to understand that without it being spoon fed the story, then they can just wow us all with their dancing. You could just so easily imagine them on stage doing this dance (a version of this dance) they could be on a broadway stage in tap shoes and these exact costumes performing this duet and they would not look out of place-they have such wonderful showmanship they almost look out of place in a sport arena- that’s how good they are! But as I’ve mentioned before, the way they approach their programs, from costumes to structure, seamlessly bridges this divide between the stage and arena-their costumes are athletic and do not impede their skating and also don’t look like idiots dressed in outrageous over the top costumes in a sports arena.

I can’t gif the whole finnstep pattern but god I’d love to!

Firstly a more general comment: and I’ve probably said this before, but something I really love about VM’s skating and all their programs (marina programs and Montreal programs) is the where they put and how they perform the set pattern within their short dances. Some teams I feel hide their patterns in the program by not using highlights in the music, not starting it at the start of a phrase of music, putting it in a weird/unnatural place within the program. I love how VM usually have a different track, and if not, brilliantly edited musical transitions into and out of their patterns. Here in DALD there is a fantastic, fanfare-like musical transition into the instrumental music for the Finnstep, there’s this ramp up to it.. and it’s like this incredibly satisfying beat drop moment as they start the first step in the pattern.

That sharpness of their heads on these first steps. The look to each other then the syncopated ‘down up’ I have watched this whole event but I can’t remember what every single team did, but I remember there were a few attempts to add heads and arm variants in here, but the majority were slower- not really with the music. VM’s is just right on with the style and musical accents. The coordination to do those heads while doing those steps is so hard, it’s so fast and there is so much to concentrate on.

Lastly on this gif is T’s twizzle. NO OTHER GIRL turned this fast. It is such a fast movement anyway, and so many fall behind on that musically. I don’t even know how T does it that fast- how her blades doesn’t stuck is beyond me (an example of why Scott said she is the greatest skater he has ever seen ✅). You can see S is giving her everything he can give her to do that turn super fast- strong hand/finger hold above her head, keeping a secure hold around her torso to keep her on centre, and he stays looking at her the whole time-there’s never a moment they aren’t communicating. The way they bring out the joy and lightness in this instrumental music with their skips and high jetes. THEY ARE ON ICE.. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE???

Sorry to get off topic again, but this is an example of how they work with their limited height difference: In this dance, they seem to have much more height differential. You can especially see that in her twizzle. I can’t comment on exactly how it works between them (and it’s all they’ve ever known) but I like to think S does an enormous amount of work in these pattern dances to make himself taller- he does this but ‘growing’ taller-not literally but in terms of elongating through his spine as much as possible without straining his neck and shoulders. He has superior posture (B A L L E T). His form in holding tessa is impeccable. He is supporting her and is so strong that he not being dragged down in supporting her, she in turn is so strong she could basically do all these steps un-partnered- she is not grasping onto him in the slightest. He is also just so light through his steps, he does not appear heavy. I’m sure off ice he has phenomenal balloné (bouancy in his jumps) so these steps can appear so easy and eleveated while completing every edge and turn to perfection (did you read that right judges!?!?!?)

Moving on..

The sharpness of their feet- T’s turns on the ‘5,6,7, and 8’ counts. (Im sorry I don’t know what the turns are called) but she goes ‘back, forward, back, pick’ its just soooo musical. Both their picks to cou de pied are exactly the same- same shape, same timing. Exquisite

The beautiful lean on those two crossovers as she passes under his arm, then the skid stop is so.. extreme, yet calculated. They are sooo good they can do the craziest shit on ice-not just do the required steps but push the boundaries of whats possible technically- something no other team since them has done. On these quick step flicks they just look stunning, the hold he has on her to make her appear so high and sparkling- not pushing her down.

Im obsessed with the slow, drawn out choctaws, then quick snappy twizzles.

These last steps on the diagonal (not part of the Finnstep pattern) where they hop on one leg and face each other is my favourite part of the program. Omg how precious. This is an incredibly mature program (as are all their competitive programs) but this moment here has such an essence of child-like joy and humour. It goes quick so you cant see their faces but I sense their smiles at each other here was a micro moment for them to look at each other out of character- one of those checking in moments. I don’t know, I just love it, its so pure.. also the addition of another quick step jeté- I think this might be there one there’s a picture of them mid air from Scott’s side so you can barely see T bc they are so in sync.

The button ending with that drop back. Right on the music. Just perfect. Then that little look he gives her like ‘damn straight kiddo’ 😏

It’s not just the dancing and the steps, but also musicality in terms of energy. They’ve just finished the finnstep which is probably the fastest of all the CD’s, then through their energy they tone it down to give layers to the program- this I think helps in making the SD feel like a free dance- that it is not just all one level for 2:50 minutes. I feel so many other teams and their their choreographers/coaches miss that in creating programs by not highlighting moments properly- there is no artistic transition out of the compulsory portion so it all blends into one. VM’s programs highlight all their elements without feeling like useless connecting steps between elements. So I love after the dip back, they have their kiss moment and the next little bit through Cheek to Cheek up till the lift is relatively more chill and indulgent- while not letting up/ having a break. Its like he’s won her over, he’s been so charming and can dance and treats her beautifully, now its just like, ‘ahh, how lovely’ now its about ‘dancing cheek to cheek’.

Their lifts are god tier. They are the best ice dance lifters to ever exist (along with best ice dancers everything else). I won’t go on about the technical aspect of it rn.

Everything that goes on before T gets into her scorpion (thats the position she’s in when he spins) is crazy, then once he starts rotating- the way his speed kinda revs up with the music. Its hard to here but there’s kinda this background ‘da da da da da’ that speeds up and they match it perfectly. Its incredible.

And lastly. I don’t think they had hit that ending right on the music all season, and here: they did perfectly! I think that was part of his ‘yes’ in the ending pose.

#well would ya look at that it became a university length dissertation #to quote T: ‘oopsie daisy’#sd: DALD

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thatbitchsimone · 1 year

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I literally can’t stop feeling embarrassed in public. Do u have any advice on not caring what people think about u? It’s so exhausting walking around feeling like I have to be seen as ‘perfect’ or to impress literal strangers!!! Like I just wanna live life and not feel like I have to perform at every moment I’m in the company of others. Pls help xox

these random ppl are literally barely even noticing ur existence. and i dont mean that in a bad way or in a way that reflects on u, im just saying that we are all in our own heads and not paying that much attention to strangers in our day to day life. no one is analysing ur every movement. it might feel like it but u know deep down they arent and that its just ur anxiety playing with ur head.

also a good thing to keep in mind whenever u get that anxious feeling that u might have ”embarrassed urself” or ”looked weird” or whatever is that none of these strangers have any idea who u are. they dont even know ur name. u will most likely never see any of these ppl ever again and if u do neither of u will remember each other anyways lol. their perception of u has literally zero impact on ur actual life. maybe u tripped while walking past some random stranger and they saw u trip, sure in the moment u might feel a little embarrassed and awkward about it, but then what? u know this stranger wont even remember it like 10 minutes after bc it was an extremely minor incident that u know their brain barely even registered for more than 3 seconds. u also know that u wont even remember it urself tomorrow, it has zero impact on ur life. like just tell urself ”whatever these ppl have no idea who i am and will probably never even see me again anyways so it doesnt even matter what they think bc we are no one to each other” and then just tell urself to let it go and shift ur focus to something else. bc u know that this is just ur anxiety and insecurity gnawing at u and this is a fleeting feeling and moment anyway.

id also like to add that, assuming ur a woman, ur not alone in struggling with this. ALL women experience these thoughts and feelings to some degree bc we are all conditioned to take up as little space as possible and to always have other ppls (specifically men, but not exclusively men) perception of us in mind. google that male gaze quote right now babe. the margaret atwood one and the john berger one. it will help u see this phenomena more clearly and u will relate to it and maybe gain some insight into how u percieve urself and how what these feelings and insecuritites are rooted in and u will be like u know what? fuck that. like ur approach to this will start to change once u have gained this perspective and might even make u feel like rebelling against it which might help u to free urself from this.

u dont need to be perfect. i want u to be free and messy and loud. i want u to be imperfect. imperfection is peak beauty. women are wild and messy. thats the beauty in us. its the rawness and realness in the most gorgeous form. embrace it. be free and carefree and do u. love u queen <3 if i saw u literally laughing hysterically to urself in public i would be like oh she gets it shes the vibe i love her so much like BE FREE GIRL LET GO LET GO

#i wish i could just take u out in public w me and make u watch me act a fool from a distance and then just laugh about it together #and i could analyse u myself and tell u all the amazing little details i see and find gorgeous in u #im an expert at it honestly im very good at.. seeing lmao

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psychrolutidae · 1 month

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Restless legs syndrome is prbably my least favorite knee sensation. Heres some childhood stuff that also makes my cpu overclock (reddit rant#2)

r/chronohaul

Man i wish i coud just do an audio message on here but im not doxxing myself im a [probably] autistic highschool girl who gets mass downvoted every few weeks. Anyway ive been thinking 🤔 I've been thinking 😁 idk how the Yakuza works and idc to learn cause thats a little too #real yanno so if I'm off the mark here i dont give a dam. But theres two ways the whole school thing can go: they go to whatever school together and probably don't speak to anyone other than each other (kai out of disgust, sickness etc, hari out of "ok that's what kais doing and i dont really have the desire to do anything else so I'll just follow him around [thats actually a pretty succinct chronostasis character analysis in general]"). i imagine kai would struggle with germs and stuff and hari would stand guard casually outside of broom closets and bathroom stalls while he had breakdowns in there (lost kitten by metric moments! listen to it now When you come undone i cover you uuuuppp) and then kai would just come back out not really looking any better and say Okay lets go.

And the other angle is the two of them confined to the hideout, the youngest in the building so having next to no one to ask for help with questions from the textbooks tht were requested to be procured by pops . This one Low Key makes me insane cause it completely recontextualizes them. Like wdym you two literally only had each other through your entire childhood and now you just say shit like "sorry 4 the wait i was trying to keep our trail clear" "thanks" likw HUH HUH

even the idea of them going to school together does that to me cause i doubt they ever talked to anyone but each other so. A little more socially adapted but still very isolated situation.

This would create The most insane codependency youve ever seen. Literally only having one other person your age who completely understands your living situation would drive you insane. The more i think about them the less likely i feel like it is to ever do deep character analyses on either of them without coming to the conclusion that they Cannot survive without each other. And that's gay as hell.

One more thing. Is the idea that they knew what their roles as adults were going to be. At a certain age they would cease to be friends and become boss and employee. And. They knew thjs the whole time. Allll the training chrono did tk become a marksman was done with the knowledge in mind that he was going to directly serve kai. How do u liveeee with ur best friend knowing ur gonna be directly subordinate to him indefinitely.&."!&!&!"!*!_!&! What did this knowledge do to their baby psyches. (It made them more codependent).

So non e of this stuff about them growing up in the organization together is evr confirmed but like ... if chrono was friends w kai as a child and then joined the shie hassaikai later in life i kinda doubt he would have as much admiration fkr what kai does for ut bc chrono does show a devotion for the SH. Hes like This is 4 the gang!!! And gets stabbed its like that vine with the guy shooting a basketball and saying This one is to end racism and then missing the shot. So to me this is my canon just cause it makes sense. And if it came out that chronos joining the sh was a "quit yr job" "why" "join my emo band" scenario well I'm gonna be really upset

Anyway just to be clear the potential autism isnt the reason i talk weird i just think its funny and Freeing to use weird diction and go off on tangents. The potential autism is definitely the reason i spend half an hour writing these things though. Love you all (no one is reading this) 💖

#p #chronohaul #chronostasis #hari kurono #OVerhaul #kai chisaki #sh

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quodekash · 1 year

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OKAY it took me a few days but ive finally finished the second msp our skyy episode (i finished it two days ago lmao) and here are the thoughts i had while watching. good luck, this is gonna be a mess (and likely will need multiple parts as per usual)

bro they werent kidding about multiverse of cuteness, that was on point

“no weakness. i only find cuteness. hes so damn cute” IM FREAKING OBSESSED WITH THESE PARALLELS WHAT THE HELL

omg tinn is standing literally right there what the hell thats hilarious

OMG THEYRE GONNA DO THE SCHOOL SLEEPOVER THINGY GHREBGHSB

“ask him to join you for a late night walk, invite him to go swimming” bro i swear por’s watched the series for the original universe or smth bc he really knows everything

KAJORN

MY BOY

HELLO

i love him

YEEEEE JORN HUG DISTRACTIONNNNN

he really just wants a hug

he just wants others to be proud of him 🥺🥺

man im so glad my msp hyperfixation is coming back bc ive desperately wanted to pull jorn apart and analyse him but i lost motivation to before i could so hopefully i finally will in the coming weeks

OMG DRUNK TINN I FORGOT THAT THIS PART WOULD HAPPEN

(i would like to take a moment to point out sounds face in that screenshot. thank you that is all.)

PLS I LOVE HIM, HES SO PRECIOUS

OMG--

(i would like to take a moment to point out yo’s face in that screenshot. thank you that is all)

the way tiw is standing there smiling sweetly and fidgeting with the hem of his shirt bc his boyfriend is in the room and is witnessing how stupid his friend group is so hes nervous but also he loves his boyfriend so much and cant keep his face out of a smile- im sorry i love them too much

AND THE WAY POR SEES THE SITUATION ESCALATING AND HE MAKES A FACE AT TIW AND GESTURES TO THE BOTTLE AND TIW GRABS THE BOTTLE GBRDFHGBDRJHB

the attention to detail is astounding

i love them all so much

“this is sake we add to the soup. tinn was worried you guys wouldnt believe it, so he took a little sip. just a tiny sip.” (im sorry i just have to point out the way he gestures the tiny sip- ghdgbhf its so sweet and tiny and I WANT TO HUG HIM AND PINCH HIS CHEEKS AND HGBREHB)

“come on. who would be stupid enough to believe that?? he could’ve just emptied the bottle. theres no need to drink it.” fiNALLY, someone with BRAIN CELLS

ah what a lovely frame

(LOOK AT THE WAY FOURTH IS STANDING, ITS SO TINY, SO PRECIOUS, HE IS BABY)

(no i dont care that he’s literally 20 centimetres taller than me, HE IS BABY)

“let’s just disband” yo with the disbanding again

i should make a list of how many times yo suggests disbanding

ive made a list of pat and disbanding

i need to rewatch the os2 episodes and also see if win still asks a lot of questions or if its sound this time, and whichever one it is, im gonna write down all of the questions like i did for win and im gonna analyse it

wait hang on would yo being the disbanding guy affect potential for patjorn?? cos my main piece of evidence for them is the disbanding thing, but phat isnt the ‘we should disband’ guy anymore so.. ???

wait hang on

WAIT HANG ON

IS THIS WHAT I THINK IT IS

WAIT WHAT

OH MY GOODNESS

HOLY BAJOOLIES

HOLY FREAKING IN THE NAME OF OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR OISHI ICE TEA WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL

I SHIP PATJORN, BUT I NEVER THOUGHT THEYD ACTUALLY DO IT

WHAT

awww

IM LITERALLY CRYING THIS IS TOO FREAKING SWEET

HEEEEEEEELP

GUYS YOU DO REALISE WHAT THIS MEANS RIGHT???

lemme break it down without yelling

all the ships in canon happen in this universe as well. all the characters still have their same personalities, and therefore (presumably) would still have the same feelings as they do in canon.

and here, jorn says he plays the bad guy and pressures the music club so that theyre serious and then win hot wave and then can date.

what this means is, in canon, pat still has his isaan accent. pat still does the little “oh” thing. jorn still plays the bad guy and pressures them a lot.

the only differences: 1. pat has glasses, which honestly just feels like more reason for jorn to like phat (”the way his glasses frame his face and make his big round eyes look slightly larger”). 2. pat is constantly suggesting that they disband. 3. jorn seems to want the band to stop being a thing, rather than pressuring them to do better and practice harder, but that’s presumably because in the canon universe, its not really common knowledge that the band cant date until after hot wave, whereas in this universe the characters seem to know without needing to find out from an external source (which is probably for plot convenience for time’s sake, but shut up it works), so, chances are in canon jorn just isnt aware that there are other options and thinks they have to leave the band in order to date. 4. definitely other things i just cant think of them rn

what im tryna say here is all the evidence points towards patjorn being possible in canon as well as this universe. i will break this down further in a future post but for now i need to get on with this commentary

HIS SMILE

HIS HAPPY LITTLE SMILE

HE MAKES ME SO HAPPY

“from now on, we’ll help music club win hot wave, so i... i mean, so you, kajorn” lmao nice save buddy. real subtle there.

OMG POR’S GRIN

HIS EVIL LITTLE GRIN

EVEN PATJORN IS JUST GOOD NEWS FOR TIWPOR

THIS ENTIRE THING- everything is just leading towards tiwpor. this has just become a tiwpor series

and im so happy about it

HIS SMILE

I LOVE IT WHEN HE SMILES

HE DOESNT OFTEN SMILE

HES SO HAPYYYYYY

HE MAKES ME HAPPY

GEIURKJBSG

I LOVE HIM

their “to the music club! yeah!!” IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY THEY MAKE ME SO HAPPY I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH

THEY ARE RUNNING

AND JORN IS WITH THEM

JORN IS PART OF THEIR GROUP NOW

HES PART OF THE SQUAD

HOLY HELL

THERE ARE TIMES WHERE I LIKE THIS UNIVERSE MORE THAN THE CANON UNIVERSE AND THIS IS ONE OF THOSE MANY MANY TIMES

jeez i was expecting to dislike these episodes and im ending up enjoying it as much, if not more, than the actual series. how did this happen.

it’s literally been two days since i finished the episode and started writing out the thoughts i had while watching and im only 8 and a half minutes through the episode. this may take a while.

yayyy tinngun

OMG SOUNDWIN

“no way. i wont exhaust myself for nothing.” mood

lmao

omg taking advantage of the leg thing i love them so much (ft tiwpor in the background)

I LOVE HIM HES SO CARING I LOVE HIM SO SO MUCH

i love them

i love them so much

ive said it too much but its just so true

i love them with all my soul

TIWPOR BEING BOYFRIENDSSSSS

guys i love them so much i love them so freaking much

and their dainty little jog? UGH I LOVE THEM

“nice shirt.” “i know, right? my boyfriend bought it for me. you should ask your boyfriend to buy one for you.” “im wearing what my boyfriend bought for me.” “no wonder it looks just as nice.” I LOVE THEM SO MUCHHHHHH

ALL OF THE SHIPS

ALL OF THEM ARE GETTING SCREENTIME

AND ITS LIKE ACTUAL SCREEN TIME NOT JUST TINY CRUMBS

IM SOBBING I LOVE THEM SO

oh no

now yo is lonelyyyyy

im sorry yoooo

SOMEONE GET NOOK IN THE BUILDING, PLEASE, IM BEGGING YOU, YO NEEDS HAPPINESS

THEYRE PHAT-ING HIM AND MAKING HIM SAD AND LONELY

NOOK NOW, PLEASE AND THANK YOU

never fear, the oishi ice tea is here!!

we’ve got the oishi ice tea, you know what that means?

it’s time for a cute gay moment!!

i smell a sponsorship.

i also smell tinngun about to be cute and gay.

the oishi ice tea is always the answer.

(if you know exactly what posts of mine from the past im referencing here, you get a cookie and a high five bc damn. if you’re curious as to what i mean, merry christmas, merry christmas, and merry christmas)

“it serves you right for bullying me. i deserve a good thing.” YES YOU DO, TINN, BEST BOI

i ran out of images again (i suspect this will be another four-parter, perhaps five, who knows)

(also a little note here, i put all my our skyy 2 commentary under the same tag and its always the first tag of the post, so if you tap/click on that one youll find the rest of my commentary on the episode (if you want to))

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olivieraa · 5 months

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I went to bed really upset last night

I think there was a variety of factors that made me into a bit of an emotional mess after finishing attack on titan

Its like "its just an anime" or "its just a show"

Firstly, it was the anime/show that's been in my life the longest. 2013-2023. I associate a lot of my tumblr posts with the show. I called any character Kaji Yuki voiced in any other anime 'Eren' for fun. My time watching the first season is so vivid to me. I remember so much about analysing this show, and talking about it with friends.

Secondly, due to my OCD, the O stands for obsessive, and that connects to a lot of things, but its extremely hard to get me out of my Obsessive mode. I actually planned to make this rewatch last a couple of months. I was like "ah yeah Ive seen season 1 three or four times so its not gonna be that entertaining watching it again, I'll try watch a few a day". ...That didn't happen. I dont know why or how, but season 1 felt v different to me. I still got chills, I still got shocked when something happened, I would finish an ep and have the urge to scream from the adrenaline that went through me when something intense happened before a cliffhanger, almost as if I didnt know what was gonna happen next.

The reason I put off watching the show immediately after it ended is bc I'm aware this happens to me and its hard to get out of it. In my head I thought my obsessive nature wouldn't come around until I got to season 3 which I hadn't seen before and I thought I'd get to season 3 by mid-January. But from the absolute get-go, it kicked in, and from 7pm on the 21st of Dec to 4am on 26th of Dec, I binged the absolute fuck out of the show, taking breaks to do essential things like eat and shower. I barely slept.

So needless to say, I've only just come back to reality.

Third, I'm emotional af. Stories impact me on a really high scale, and I start to get stomach aches and chest pains bc of it. Esp if the story is magnificent. I finished that show last night and when I saw "The end", I was still crying, I hurt all over, and I just happened to be lucky that a friend who has seen it (and shockingly, doesn't watch anime) replied back to me and we talked about for a little bit. It helped to rant it out a bit but my sleep deprivation caused me to make so many typos and I officially had to sleep, which was hard, due to the chest pains.

And fourth, I believe what I just watched was perfection. To ever rewatch the show again, I'll see everything differently. Everything. The first 5 seconds of the show will be different. And when I'd had that realisation, I started crying again.

Like, I'm thinking of moments in the show that are literally just "characters swinging around and slashing titans" which is what the show was first known for, and now I'll be thinking "holy shit, these scenes have a bigger significance than you realise".

And for a show that's not about romance, the romantic tragedy that ties it all together, is what got me more than anything.

If this show gave off a vibe that the creator never knew where he was going with it, then I dont think it would be as impactful. As someone who loves Stranger Things, not everything ties up perfectly. And maybe the creators had an idea of their ending and then had to figure out how to get there, but it doesn't show. I've a feeling that by the end of that show, I'll be thinking that they ran through different drafts for their ending and finally settled on one and brought back a few tiny moments from the other seasons that ties it in and boom, done.

But almost every moment of attack on titan comes full circle, to the extreme point that I believe he wrote this whole thing out, almost every millimetre of it, and then released it at a specific pace up until recent years, and then obviously the anime adapted it. Yes he could have made slight changes along the way like "I originally wanted this character to say this line but changed it to this character cause it was more fitting" or something like that, but nothing that would really change anything about the direction he was heading with it.

Do I regret binging it? Yes, bc I have loads to do that I now have get stuck into with v little breaks (SnK was SUPPOSED to be my breaks), but also, mainly, bc I felt like I was there. Like when you're away from home for a month and you come back and everything feels weird and sorta wrong. So that's a learning lesson to myself. Never binge again.

Last time I did that was with Succession, but I'm just lucky that Obsessive mode kicked in about 20 eps in (so the first 20 I watched one a day), and so when Obsessive mode came in, it was for the second set of 20 episodes).

Unlike SnK where I watched almost 100 eps in 5 days :')))

Anway, I'll be thinking about this fucking show for a while, especially Eren. Especially Eren. He's just too complex, and I like to analyse, and that's some long analysation.

Also Mikasa and Levi impacted me too (Hange is my girl tho).

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, I'm glad I wrote this out. My thoughts are going through my head way too fast for my typing to keep up so I've had to slow down my thoughts and so my breathing is a little better this time around lmao

I'ma miss this show, and I look forward to the day I rewatch it and take every speckle of the show in again. Knowing my ass, it'll be on my next break which is sooner than I'd like it to be, cause I know what my addictive obsessive ass is like. Ugh, I'm a wreck

#even that gif is upsetting T_T

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heliianth · 2 years

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this question might seem out of no where because you haven’t talked on it in a bit. sorry. just interested! related to ATLA: i know you agree with the choice for aang to spare ozai, but what do you think of the lion-turtle as a way to get there?? i know there are opposed opinions in the fandom

this is actually a really interesting ask and dw its not out of nowhere at all!! i just think i deleted some of the textposts i made abt it recently bc i feel like some of the stuff i say is redundant compared to other analyses. i really love talking about atla so asks related to it are always a hype moment for me c:

the thing about atla is a lot of people like to think of it as a perfect show with no poor writing choices or universally competent execution. this isnt true. its a really fucking good show and i’d have to nitpick to find more issues than i could count w my fingers. there IS a reason why its a cultural milestone and staple of modern western animation. but its not a flawless masterpiece.

the romance in the show is probably its hardest blunder and thats unfortunate considering its character writing is one of its most impressive strengths. the kataang and maiko relationships arent well-developed (katara needed more agency and emotional exploration, mais narrative function is providing zuko w a connection to his home in s3 and this doesnt lend well to being in a romantic relationship with him considering his home is abusive) and in general im not a fan of stories where young protagonists “get” their romantic interest and they stay together for the rest of their lives. a lot of things are also left unexplored, such as the nwt’s systemic sexism and aang’s racial trauma, which is unfortunate considering the latter is a huge informant of his character and his decision in the series finale

these things are all understandable considering that i think atla was written much in the same way someone might write fic: w a loose outline consisting of a few thematic ideas, important plot points, and a lot of wiggle room in between. since its been released on netflix, i think people have an idea that it was written like modern shows on streaming services, without acknowledging that it was a 2005 nickelodeon show airing on a cable network with months between premieres. many plot points were probably made up on the fly and needed to be condensed into a 20 minute isolated structure (excluding 2-parters) so each episode would have its own story structure and could be satisfyingly concluded on its own without the serialized problem of constant cliffhangers

the lionturtle is a symptom of these construction restraints/struggles. i do not hate it in the same way many people seem to, but i do think it feels rushed. some people have issues with yue in the same way, but yue’s connection with the spirits is less polarizing considering 1x19 and 1x20 are not the finales of the entire series. the lionturtle probably shouldve been given an episode of two more of development, and aang probably shouldve had more independence in his decision to seek it out. one proposition i have seen is that aang flees ember island to think on his own, and gets into some sort of hijinks that ends with him encountering it, perhaps by way of communication with the past avatars. i like this suggestion because its consistant with aangs character in the way that a huge flaw of his is that he is avoidant and will deny responsibility because he fears failure and loss. in this way, with more time on our hands, the lionturtle also forces aang to reconsider this about himself, which focuses his character arc around decision, agency, and duty. the energybending works really well with the preexisting theme that separation is an illusion—build on that to establish it a little while still keeping it mysterious for the huge ending fight. also talk about why aang is hanging onto his pacifistic beliefs. a lot of his motivation for this gets lost in translation (i would know, i frequent reaction channels, lmfao) and addressing that this is about preserving a culture of which he is the only surviving member of—addressing aang’s propensity for latching onto ideas and people out of grief—would add wonderfully to the refocusing of his character arc. energybending and lightningbending are both very thematically entrenched and metaphorically dense practices within the show, but the former needs groundwork, because all we have in the show is the conclusion of what it represents and not what its trying to say about aang as a person.

anyway. this is probably all over the place. tl;dr: i dont mind the lionturtle as much as other people seem to, but i think it was poorly executed and developed and couldve used a standalone episode to introduce it. that way the 4-parter series finale doesnt feel as rushed as it ends up feeling in some places, particularly the energybending climax. giving it more room to breathe would strengthen the audiences suspension of disbelief and make the themes it attempts to introduce/advance feel more thought out and purposeful. however, i understand why it was written the way it was, because of the way tv shows were made and presented at the time, which is also the source of other poorly executed moments and ideas within the series

anyway, dont hesitate to talk atla at me ^-^ i could talk all day !!!!!

#heliianswers #atla

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hyuckmov · 10 months

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hiii moon anon here i have a lot to say but first off: i've been analyzing the title song settle down and i've been listening to it over and over again and is the story gonna parallel the lyrics itself?? "and i don't seem to be having any effect now" like thats… oooh the angst is gonna be delicious. i hope you take this as a compliment when i say this but the whole fic takes me BACK to 2013-2015 YOU KNOW THAT ERA HAHAHA the tropes, the ambiance, the CHARACTERS!! side question: is mark or jisung gonna play bigger roles? or did they just act as plot devices for reader and haechans development. would not mind either way but given the concept of the story i can totally imagine reader coming back and just wreaking havoc on the band. sorry i love mess lol. maybe i'm delusional or maybe its the fact that it's haechan but it makes me more understanding of the character?? i trust you when you say that there's more to rockstar hc than meets the eye, and especially from his perspective it's pretty realistic that he has his guard up when it comes to really connecting with people, and we see his walls slowly crumbling down by the end too. and even in the earlier parts of the story i didn't expect him to have his sweet moments?? i honestly expected him to be worse but god him calling her PRINCESS has me on my knees i will defend reader's choices with my life because i'd do the same, i'd probably still go to the concert by the end she's so much stronger than me helppp (tho DISCLAIMER i would not be doing this for just any man its bc its haechan why i am easily swayed by the little things,,, just like reader), but i liked how she decided to take a step back this time, especially when at that point haechan is basically offering her what she has always wanted, but knowing his past actions it won't be truly easy to hang onto every word said. this is the culmination of every mixed signals and rejection that haechan gave her, and the build up to it is veryyy well done. also im still reeling from reading the fic i felt sooo many emotions and dk how to fully articulate it yet,, maybe i'll come back when i do. i even made a playlist of my own w songs that reminded me of the fic to help me move on (at least until pt 2 gets posted, cant wait tho!!)

MOON ANON.... when i say my jaw dropped.... my heart rate actually spiked i can't believe you wrote such a detailed review and theorized this makes me so happy especially since you basically inspired me with this idea !!!! giving you a huge hug rn 🫂🤍

omg ngl this fic encouraging people to listen to settle down makes me so happy because it's one of my favorite songs 😭 it makes me feel so honoured to know that you are analysing the lyrics and anticipating the plot like that really means so much to me !!! i definitely picked it because it had themes i wanted to explore throughout the song...but the lines kind of contain both hyucks and readers pov hehe so i'm excited to explore that in part 2

i take that as a DEFINITE COMPLIMENT i was so invested in that era it was so formative for me... hence a lot of the song choice in my playlist too... i don't know if i genuinely nailed the idea of rockstar in rockstar haechan (because truly...what is a rockstar...) but i did want to give it that 2013 band on tumblr vibe lmfao so i'm so glad you brought that up !!!!

AAAA the band still definitely continues to play a role... they have stuff to work out but i've thought about their characters a lot and i definitely want to show more of their opinions on haechan and reader (it wouldn't be a rockstar au without that). someone else i want to add in is jaemin because ngl reader needs someone purely on her side

i hope i'm not promising too much with haechan HAHA i'm not someone who likes to give too much backstory to characters so i'm just putting it out there: i'm not going to explain that he's this way becaue he was cheated on before or he had family problems etc. i just want it to be genuine layers of his character and personality that's put to the test (love making it hard for myself LOL)

i'm so relieved to know you still managed to feel for his character and appreciate the softer sides of him and a bit of his struggle... i was worried i promised a super terrible character with the preview and people would be disappointed he ended up being so gentle with reader 😅

and her standing him up at the end!!! i'm glad you thought it was justified but at the same time recognise she probably was going to...it really could go both ways and idk if i'm still going through with my original plot arc !!! we will see :)

this was already so articulate omg once i appreciate it sooo so so so much that you shared such a detailed review with me, it literally blows my mind and i will reread your ask again and again !!!! omg and if u want please share your playlist with me too!!! i want to see what songs there are that give him vibes ~~

thank you sm again...you are too nice to me ily!!!!

#moon anon #asks #fic: rockstar haechan #THIS IS STILL INSANE TO MEEE

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frankcastleonlyfans · 1 year

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SOO omg omg omg i don't know what to say. '5 crisis between us' is absolutely beautiful!!

1) i wasn't able to cry. i just had a huge grin from ear to ear bc OMG you're so sweet😭 i'm really honored. i hope you enjoyed writing it and not just felt pressed/ suffocated by the ideas. will you do something with the other ones, though? just interested.

(if you're ever interested my pronouns are she/her (but you can call me wife SORRY))

2) i'm in LOVE with your daemon and mom!reader. their dynamic! their relationship! i can die seeing them. yes they're toothachingly sweet so they need to go through crisises🥰 suffering is the key

3) the miscarriage crisis... maybe it was bc i didn't have any details and expectations about it in my head but it was strong. it is strong. this helplessness and this loving sweetness- no words. for me it felt more loving than the whole '5 moments between us' (don't get me wrong it is stunning, just my own impression. this is the climax of pure devotion to my eyes).

4) most likely it's just me knowing these ideas i've send but i had a minor feeling of rush? (yeah prob gust me bc i haven't had this feeling reading 1 and 5 paragraphs) like it IS long but this little incompleteness? (don't get me wrong it is great! i love the way you write and the way you think! just this small-small feeling like there is an opportunity to say more? you should know i work with a lot of texts and analysing them is going to be my like? job (i hope) so yes. i always overthink this)

no intention to offend you my love! you and your sexy brain have done absolutely great!

5) just me. i'd really like to learn more about relationship between mom!reader and alyssa. it feels like a great topic to think about. i'd like to see this, on the one hand, rivalry (i know it's toxic, maybe i am a bad person) and daemon's reaction, and family bond and mother's wisdom (bc alyssa is her child she obviously shouldn't feel like it's a rivalry), on the other hand. back to children's disgust of their parents' interactions. i kinda feel like alyssa should be really jealous? but is her mother as jealous when she's hust born? it's a really big topic for me (having mommy issues and always seeking attention💀)

In conclusion, is is TALENTED, BRILLIANT, INCREDIBLE, AMAZING, SHOW-STOPPING, SPECTACULAR, NEVER THE SAME, TOTALLY UNIQUE! and i really appreciate its dedication🥺 i strongly believe you and your au are going to become a legend! thank you so much for your work!

- ❄️

i'm so glad you liked it, you don't know how much your support means to me 🥹💓

i probably won't use the other plots bc the ideas i have in mind to work with before i finish the series don't really have angst or crisis vibes, just pure joy before we end our journey.

and i get what you mean about the loving parts and the difference between "5 moments between us" and this one. i think this one feels more personal and less domestic than the first one. the pain brought them together and made them stronger, while the other one are just silly little scenarios of they spending time with each other.

oh, and it's okay!! i know some of the scenarios are a little incomplete or don't have more to it (like the second depression one) but i didn't wanted to make a long ass sad story, i just wanted to share some moments they lived and got through it, without making it too appealing.

and before we end the series we definitely gonna have more of alyssa and her mom. i'm thinking about making them bond over a danger situation just to add a little bit of drama lol

but again, thank u so much for your support, darling 💓

#frankcastleonlyfans asks #dad!daemon targaryen au #❄️ sweet talks

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antpernas · 2 years

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this post is just to send to my therapist but read if you want to hear the story of how I fell in love with Scorpio (copied from my instagram posts made at the time)

OK PART 1 STORYTIMEE so it was thursday evening i think and i was at bens house and i wanted to (nothing new) rip my head off bc ben was fucking irritating as always nothing new ! i was swiping on tinder no biggie and i matched with andy so i sent him a message telling him i thought he was cute, already within 5 seconds of convo i thought he was either a) just a really confident and aggressively extroverted person or b) legitimately insane, and then after five minutes he asked (since id only be there til sunday) if i wanted to meet up to play piano for funsies and i said Fuck yea! we met halfway at a cute little park and started chatting and he was suchhh a sweetheart and told me more about what this date was on the way back to his area, we ended up staying the night at a church he works at to play on their piano and just goof off but when i tell youuuuy i wasnt ready to a) be serenaded and b) be so encouraged and supported by himm...!!!! im already nervous about piano and playing for people bc im self taught and definitely playing for somebody whos classically trained (and that im trying to court no less) didnt help either but he was so sweet and so genuinely impressed and from the way he said he was going crazy for me i swearrr my heart started doing flipsss he was so sweet we literally just played music with/for each other with candles lit for like 2 hourss then after that we danced with each other and sang spanish love songs and then i geeked about classical music i liked to him and he listened through all my half baked analyses and he was just 🥺🥺🥺 unbelievaaableeeee

anyway we did end up fucking and sleeping in the church BUT besides the point anyway the next day he had promised to go to a weekend nudist retreat with his friend and i was like yes of course i had a wonderful time with you i hope u enjoy the retreat etc. but on the inside i was using my intestines to snap my ribs and stab myself in the heart and lungs bc i knew i was going to have to stay with ben the rest of the trip after such an amazing night... fast forward to friday evening and andy texts me saying his friend was being a prick and that if i was willing to hang out hed come back early and spend time with me... now mind you im not one to celebrate someones misfortunes nor encourage ill sentiment between people... but i DEFINITELY was very happy that i was going to get to see andy again so of course i said "yes please literally kidnap me" and so saturday morning we meet at the park again and he tells me about why his short trip was shit and i tell him about why mine had been shit bc i forgot to explain it thursday night and then we agree to forget about both our shitty gay friends and have fun so he takes me to laguna beach and we go free diving/snorkeling (its my first time) and as soon as we step back onto the beach from like 30 minutes of diving all he does is shower me in praise and kiss me and tell me how impressed he is and all i could think was 🥺 wow and tbh looking back im not sure if me losing my balance and breath at that moment was because of lack of oxygen or because of him flattering me but anyway we got all our stuff and went to a second point to snorkel again, it was high tide so it was hard to get past the rocky part at first and he ended up getting cut trying to wait for me but he assured me it was ok and we swam out together and saw some beautiful sea grass fields and kelp forests 🥺🥺 then after that we went and got dinner and i managed to cover the bill while he was in the bathroom jejeje >:) he tried to pay me back but i just used the cash he gave me as an extra tip (a 100% tip ! yup yup) then after that we went to a second beach and after like 30 mins of looking for parking managed to find a spot!! continued in next post

PART 3 but yea we found a spot and played volleyball and watched the sunset and once i started getting back into the groove of playing (i hadnt played in a HOTTT minute) he was sooo sweet and playfully competitive and im jushdktnrkdjr just so fun and then after that we walked down towards pier and he was blasting music and dancing and ngl i was rly nervous about it but everybody was just super chill and some ppl even started dancing w him and i thought it was so cutee so i just started dancing along side him all the way down to the showers to rinse off and at the showers we just full on started salsa dancing with each other and everybody was so supportive and im 🥺🥺 then after that we went back to the car and started driving back to LA and we came up w the idea to just get a hotel room and have him take me to the airport in the morning and we DID IT also mind you every single time we were in the car we were showing each other music and it was mostly me showing him music and then me geeking and fawning over different artists or pieces in front of him ANYWAYprobably the weirdest part was dropping by bens place to get my stuff but yknow what the brief minute of awkwardness was WORTHHH getting to spend the rest of my time with andy cuz the hotel was so cute we just cuddled and ordered thai food (they fucked up our order so we got a second batch of food for free) and listened to more music and im just 🥺 the next morning he had to rush out because we woke up late and he had promised a friend of his to pick her up from somewhere and he ended up leaving his shirt behind and i still dk if it was on purpose 🥺 after that i took a lyft to the airport and yeah that was my story of how i became obsessed w this cute music teacher 🗿

#mydiary

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faux-ee · 1 year

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I posted 3,543 times in 2022

That's 2,736 more posts than 2021!

737 posts created (21%)

2,806 posts reblogged (79%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@kyouka-supremacy

@colourofthekites

@grishaverse-chaos

@chenechen

@akhlys-san

I tagged 1,669 of my posts in 2022

#fyolai - 51 posts

#dabihawks - 50 posts

#bsd - 33 posts

#bungo stray dogs - 19 posts

#personal - 18 posts

#spotify - 17 posts

#asks <3 - 16 posts

#bkdk - 14 posts

#soukoku - 13 posts

#sskk - 13 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#it was so unfeeling and repetitive and like. sir. i can’t relate to ur experiences and u aren’t doing a very good job making me care abt it

My Top Posts in 2022:

bungo stray dogs is a piece of media thats so filled with tumblr energy. Its like a collective mass hallucination of famous author fanfiction with just the right amount of derangedness, mental illness, generational trauma and existential crisis. Each and every character gives major gender envy. Everything is enemies to lovers to enemies to freinds to lovers to enemies. Everything the characters do is high-key illegal and everyone agrees that old guys in the government r useless except for this one triple spy who's sleep deprived to a fault. There is a guy who is chronically online and absolutely cannot leave his futon. There's another guy who could write novels in days and is more attached to a racoon than the rest of the world. bram stoker listens to spotify. bsd is the true tumblr-esque media.

Edit: and as it often appears bsd characters become each other's blorbos. They wanna hug each other they wanna see them going through the undying pain of human existence they spin them around in a mental microwave or smth

Edit edit: also tumblrinas love literary analysis and bsd is full of literary motifs

420 notes - Posted December 4, 2022

ranpoe actually foils fyolai bcs when poe had his mind set on killing ranpo he had a moment of realization that he wouldn't know how to live in a world w/o him, and several chapters after he became besties w/ ranpo, but nikolai already knows that fyodor is his intimate friend, there will never be another person like fyodor for him, yet still decided to kill him, bcs he "wants freedom more than any kind of joy"

434 notes - Posted June 29, 2022

Kacchan is the only thing Izuku allows himself to have

and it's why Izuku’s always vague when it came to the intensity of his feelings about Kacchan & why Katsuki at first instinctively pushed Izuku away.

idk if anyone has done this before, but anyways here's my fav aspect abt BakuDeku's relationship: Izuku's possessiveness over Kacchan and Kacchan only.

So I've been thinking abt Kamino a lot, and specifically two scenes: a) Izuku shouting "Give him back to me!" to Mr. Compress, and b) Izuku's devastated scream after Bakugo was taken away.

Izuku is an extremely selfless person, with only the heart for "saving people". That was part of the reason why he was almost immune to Katsuki's bad attitude towards him: dude doesn't think about himself a whole lot, alright. He's just kind of out of it. An observer. He wants to focus on his own feelings much less than he cares about others.

When have you seen Izuku do something for himself? Sure, he wanted to become a hero, he wrote 13 notebooks' worth of hero analyses. But this may as well only be an exertion of his obsession abt quirks & strategies, because despite all the talk about his dream, he never actually thought to exercise and improve his body strength before he got the OFA.

Here's an idea: Izuku doesn't know how to do things for himself, unless given a larger purpose. He takes little care of his own ambition before taking the world's weight onto his shoulders.

And he is subconsciously avoiding any selfish thinking, especially any private feelings he has about Kacchan, platonic or otherwise.

He doesn't know what has triggered the blackwhip; can't remember what Kacchan told him before almost sacrificing himself to save him; doesn't remember whatever made him go berserk in battle. He acted like none of this emotional turmoil he experienced happened at all and went back to being this people-saving, smiling sunshine every. single. time. Even after Kamino, his first thought was Kouta, except that after Todoroki mentioned Katsuki, the light returned to his eyes and he finally broke down.

Izuku actively avoids thinking about anything that causes strong emotions to erupt in him, yes, but more importantly, even when he is recounting these experiences to others, he omits whatever part that concerns Kacchan (i.e. when he told his classmates “I couldn’t save what was in front of me” - right, but Izuku, why are you describing Kacchan as if he is just anyone else instead of the person you have looked up to for all your life?)

He doesn’t allow himself to be selfish, to be partial, to treat Kacchan as somone special even when that’s what he does (notice how he’s always going like “Kacchan and the others”).

Let’s look at what he said to Mr. Compress again: “Give him back to me!”

Didn’t he almost sound like a child who was robbed of his favorite toy?

Why would he feel such possessiveness over Kacchan, though?

Kacchan is Izuku’s Symbol of Victory, right? Izuku follows him, admires him, idolizes him (”closer to me than All Might, this amazing person in my life”). Here it is: Kacchan has been somewhat of an idol to Izuku, the incarnation of victory.

Kacchan was part of Izuku’s definition of heroism; and heroism, to Izuku, is almost like a religious belief. He draws strength from it, uses it to cope with the pain of being quirkless, and admires All Might as one might do any deity.

I’m going to go a little further here: when one prays to whatever deity one believes in, one is often praying to this concept inside one’s head, and taking what one needs from this private connection. Similarly, Izuku feels possessive over Kacchan because the latter to him is something of a god-like character, from the attachment to whom Izuku draws his desire to win. To Izuku, Kacchan is not just the Symbol of Victory. It’s his Symbol of Victory.

Katsuki is his. His sun, his god, his drive to win.

Izuku, who is so selfless that he rarely wants things for himself, doesn’t want to acknowledge that he can, in fact, be a little selfish when it comes to Kacchan.

Meanwhile, as Mr. Compress had stated, Bakugo doesn't belong to anybody. And with such a big ego Bakugo would hate to be anything but independent. Something about Izuku made him want to keep his childhood friend at arm's length; he felt as if Izuku was stronger than him, looking down on him - and where does he get this feeling? Because Izuku offered to help him once at four? Stood up to him a couple of times?

There is another dimension to it, I think: it was also because Izuku had always followed him. And Katsuki, being the kind to always over-think, could mistake Izuku's possessiveness for Izuku seeing himself above him.

If an independent person ever finds himself on the receiving end of such possessiveness, he would feel chained, scared, and pissed off. Don't come, Deku, I don't want anything to do with you because the way you stick with me as if I belong to you, it almost chains me down.

Thanks for bearing with my shipping brainrot xD

445 notes - Posted April 8, 2022

B-B-Boyfriend? Like a guy who your body moved on its own for when he was in danger? Who you've grown up with? Activated a whole new quirk for?

550 notes - Posted March 19, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

being invested in bsd is such a unique experience bcs u watch the anime and think oh theres mafia and detectives and terrorists this shit's so hardcore and then u open bsd wan and they r kindergarteners and magical girls and princesses and ur just like. look at my cute little uwus <3 and then u read the manga and was hit with like three different schools of philosophical thoughts and suddenly become interested in classical novels with rlly deep themes and start to develop an existential crisis. its like yeah i watched an anime abt super powers and it all went downhill from there lol

993 notes - Posted June 21, 2022

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#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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