#i need him in ways i cannot put into words

[luvvixu]

mind over matter pt. 2

synopsis: witness how your marriage was bound to fall apart with you on the front seat and your husband gojo had missed the show—now, he gotta figure out the story on his own.

content: arrange marriage au, angst, husband!gojo, mean!gojo, mention of blood, strong languages, some unsettling scenarios, emotional trauma, read at your own risk

a/n: couldn't still believe that this ff blew up like tysm for all of your support! and thank you so much for waiting~ and like always, this is not proofread lol

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“if i'm not mistaken, the mission would take at least three to four business days.” yaga passes satoru a sheet of paper where it contains all of the information he needed to know and what kind of things he should focus on investigating.

satoru looked at his former teacher in uncertainty despite the blindfold in his eyes. he's very hesitant to take the mission not because he cannot beat this curse, but because he still needs to apologize to you as soon as possible.

“yaga, c—can i not…” satoru was about to continue when he suddenly trailed off.

“not what?” yaga raises his eyebrow.

but to think that it's all his fault, he must have really hurted you this time, and you wouldn't probably hear him out that easily. that is why satoru thinks that it is best to just give you some space as of now, and when he comes back from his mission, that is the time when he would bother you with his presence.

“it's nothing. i’ll be taking my leave now.”

“very well—” before yaga could even finish his sentence, satoru already vanished in thin air.

the duo, yuuji and megumi, was on their way to visit you just like what they had promised to themselves a while ago.

it was around eight o'clock in the evening and here they are, kind of tiptoeing through the hallway where your room is located.

“i think it's better to let her know our presence first.” megumi said quietly to the pink haired male while holding out a basket with foods that are suitable for digestion of a pregnant lady.

“then it wouldn't be a surprise if we told her.” yuuji then answered. he was carrying two board games on his left arm and a uno card on his right hand. you actually once told them that you were exceptionally good at these kinds of games, so yuuji wanted to test that out.

suddenly, the two boys stopped in front of a door where they immediately froze at the smell of something oddly familiar. “me…megumi, is this y/n sensei’s room?” yuuji slowly mumbles out a word, his eyes going wide.

however, megumi didn't answer him. instead, he immediately tries to open the door without any hesitation just to know that it is locked.

panic slashed across their faces as the smell of blood coming out of your room becomes the leading factor of their franticness behavior.

“y/n sensei! are you there?!” yuuji keeps on calling out to you while megumi does the door breaking.

“it's locked! i can’t break the door!” curse these doors in jujutsu high. megumi could not help but to mumble profanities when he remembered that the doors in jujutsu high are purposely made this strong so any invading curses could not sneak in especially during sleeping hours where most of the sorcerers are vulnerable.

“itadori! call yaga sensei and shoko-san, quick!” megumi screamed at the other boy, whom he instantly obliged.

a weave of panic surge on their bodies because you are involved in this situation. not to mention, you are pregnant on top of that and that puts the situation into a more nerve-wracking experience.

sweat drips on megumi’s forehead as he still tries to break the door. kicks and punches were made but still the door wouldn't flinch his attacks. the idea of using his curse technique came into his mind but he's afraid that it would worsen the situation.

sooner and faster, yuuji came back with the two elders running faster than before. both also have a panic flash on their faces as yaga begins to break the door with his insane force. and after countless tries, he successfully invades the door.

everybody froze at the sight, because there they saw you, lying unconsciously in a pool of your blood that trickled down on your lower body.

“shit! what happened?!” shoko was the first to react and immediately came closer to you to check your pulse, it was there but weak. then shoko proceeds to check your baby's heartbeat, and to her disappointment, there was none that she could detect.

“yaga sensei, please help me get y/n to my clinic. now!” without a further do, yaga carefully lifted up your body and then proceeded to follow the frantic shoko to her said clinic.

on the other hand, yuuji and megumi watch the two elders quickly move away from the scene and that leaves the two. they had been quiet all the time, probably still traumatized because they just saw one of their teachers (plus with an unborn child) on the literal verge of dying.

megumi's eyes trailed on the pool of blood that had been sitting on your floor. he could tell that you had been unconscious for like way past an hour now due to some parts of the blood being fresh while some parts were dried.

“what the hell just happened…?” yuuji was still flabbergasted. he would never expect that this would happen when he just visualizes this night as a fun one because he got everything ready for a surprise mini party to cheer you up.

“i don't know.” megumi solemnly answered.

“...do you think y/n sensei and her baby would be alright?” yuuji added, totally worried about your situation.

for the first time in his life, megumi didn't think he that would utter the same word but with a different tone, different meaning, and in a different situation.

“i…i don't know.”

satoru gojo was busy walking through the busy street of roppongi despite the sky being nighttime. the whole atmosphere was still so lively from bright signage up to crowded night market stalls. this makes a perfect night for a perfect leisure.

but satoru isn't here to do that. he was supposed to do a job and finish it as soon as possible so he could get back to you and finally do the right thing.

he was about to enter an abandoned building when he received a phone call. without looking at the caller, he answered.

“what?”

“where are you?” it was his corporate friend, nanami.

a teasing smile made it into his demeanor. “oh wow! here is my underclassmen calling me first—!”

“i am asking you, where are you?” nanami was clearly not in the mood for his bullshit. his tone was beyond serious and it made satoru wonder if something happened.

“i'm in roppongi. somewhere behind a luxurious night bar.” gojo said.

the moment he said his address, the phone suddenly dropped. confused, the six eyes looked at his phone then just shrugged it off. for the second time, he was about to enter the said building when someone appeared from behind.

“you should go back.” there he saw nanami, breathless as he tried to catch his breath. looks like he ran his way towards his location.

“yo, my man! what are you doing he—”

“go back to the jujutsu high. i’ll be taking your mission here.” nanami explained like he was .

did something happen? was on satoru's mind.

“why?” satoru dropped all of his mischievousness as it was replaced by his unhidden worry—you were literally there at the jujutsu high.

there was a pause on nanami, he seemed very hesitant to say it and satoru was growing impatient.

“just say it nanami—”

“yaga asked me to take your mission on your behalf after something happened. it's about your wife. she was found unconscious in her room.”

never ever in his life he could feel the quickest adrenaline rush in his body as nanami didn't even manage to utter the last syllables of his sentence when satoru already uses his technique and teleports himself towards your room back in jujutsu high.

and there, he was welcomed by the janitors of the said school, mopping the dried liquid on the floor. the smell was so familiar that it made his body tremble in a span of a second.

“w-what the fuck happened here?” he asked the janitor who looked at him in pity as he continued to solemnly wipe the floor.

“miss y/n was found unconscious and there was blood…in her lower area.”

blood, y/n, unconscious, my wife, danger, the baby…my baby!

that was the only thing that came into his mind as he went out of the hallway and ran somewhere he wasn't aware of. his mind raced with negative thoughts.

and since his life is not always about sugarcoating—he thought that probably you just had a miscarriage, got attacked by some curses, or worse, you're dead. his wife, you, were hurt when he was away and not even there to at least protect you.

unbeknownst, to the man, tears were threatening to slip down his six eyes, making his blindfold become wet as it was being absorbed by his tears constantly. satoru could feel that his body was filled with self-loathing, guilt, and regret all over his system.

“satoru.” a voice called him from behind. satoru does not need to turn around to know who it was. it was yaga.

“come to my office.” without waiting for him, yaga already left with satoru trailing behind him. taking off his blindfold, satoru wiped the tears that were about to fall.

when they arrived at yaga’s office, he saw his two students, yuuji and megumi, sitting quietly by the couch. they were both acting quietly odd, like they knew what was going on too.

“where's y/n?” satoru asked.

“do you want to know what happened first?” yaga avoided his question for now. instead, he goes into the other aspect that he's been wondering too. satoru fell quiet, so yaga took it as a yes.

the principal looked at the two students who were already looking at him. sighing deeply, yaga then proceeds to start explaining.

“y/n was found unconscious by these two. it has been over an hour since she's been in that situation judging by the dryness of her blood. right now, we still had no idea about her state since shoko's the one who's been handling the situation. and it's been a while too since we have seen her.”

“and the baby…i'm sorry, gojo. but we have no idea either.” yaga sighed heavily. satoru was all silent, he couldn't bring himself to utter any word. he was too caught up about the situation that he had so many things to say to the point that he couldn't figure out where to start.

“i know it's not my business to interfere but…did something happen that leads to this?” the principal asked the strongest. the next moment was something that everyone expected—they did not receive any response from the man.

suddenly, the door burst open, revealing the tired doctor. her eyes landed on your husband who's still frozen about your condition. on the other hand, satoru was too busy drowning himself with his thoughts to notice shoko in the room.

“itadori, megumi…go back to your dorm for now. it's getting late and i’ll just update you two tomorrow.” shoko scurry the two younger boys and they obliged.

as the door in yaga's office closed, the three grown-ups fell into a silent atmosphere, only the sound of the air ventilation could be heard inside.

“h-how’s y/n and the child?” yaga was the first one to speak among the three. but shoko's attention was drawn to gojo only and gojo was still unable to move.

“her situation was so severe that we needed to put her into a hospital as soon as possible.” shoko said quietly and directed to gojo only. her eyes were trailed to him, and only him. she wants him to taste the bitter medicine of his aftermath and she is going to make sure he's taking it.

call her brutal and cruel, but in your realm of marriage where her role is only being a worried close friend, she would choose you over everything. that's how much she cares for you. shoko could see what kind of person you are, and she believes that you deserve better than what you are right now.

sure, gojo was right when he said that she'd only known you for a short period of time. but that is enough for her to determine that she is going to stick by your side whatever may happen. because she knows how a gojo satoru works, she knows what kind of person he could be.

if gojo can manage to leave shoko out in his life, then he could do it to y/n too.

“she was bleeding too much, i'm afraid it has to do with the child. so if we don't act fast, we might have to choose who to save—are we going to save y/n and lose the baby? are we going to save the baby and lose y/n? or…what if we lose them both—”

*boogsh!*

a sudden explosion was seen. the four walls inside yaga’s office have officially become three when satoru couldn't handle his emotions that he let his cursed energy slip and create a hole into one of yaga’s walls. the impact was so strong that it literally shook the whole jujutsu high.

and surprisingly, none of the three inside the scene was scratched, just emotionally taken aback. the once gojo satoru who couldn't even utter a word earlier, was now looking at shoko with a mixture of menace, trouble, anger, grief, and…extreme sadness.

shoko ties his stare, looking equivalently. “did you hear what i said, gojo? your wife and your baby are currently facing the grim reaper. do you understand that?” she said calmly but there is a hit or hardness into her tone.

“shut up! fucking shut up!” another surge of curse energy flows in different directions, making yaga and shoko feel goosebumps on how strong it is.

“satoru!” yaga yelled in panic.

“where is she? where the fuck is she?! show me where she is!” satoru screamed at the doctor. shoko, whose face is now back to emotionless, decides to subside her annoyance to the man as she knows you are the top priority right now.

“i will let you see her. but once you see her, you have to teleport us into the hospital immediately if you still want to see her open her eyes.” shoko said seriously. thankfully, satoru managed to calm himself alone and just stared at shoko, waiting for her to continue.

“y/n was experiencing placenta abruption. it's a very serious complication in her case because the placenta in the inner wall of her uterus is completely detached. it greatly affects the baby’s supply of oxygen and nutrients and the situation causes her to bleed heavily.”

“i immediately minimize the bleeding but i cannot guarantee the two's safety, especially the baby, since it is not worth the risk to imply cursed energy to an unborn child—” before shoko could even finished explaining, satoru already stormed out of the room and just proceeds to the room where his guts tell you where. he was being followed by shoko who was screaming at him.

opening one of the doors, there he saw you all pale. he could feel your cursed energy barely beating, and that scared the shit out of him because that indicates your weakness.

“o-oh god…” satoru couldn't help but to feel his breathing pattern becoming irregular as a single tear followed by another drop from his gorgeous powerful blue eyes.

this can't be happening. you were just fine a while ago!

“y/n, oh my g-god! my wife…” gojo satoru, known by his title as the strongest sorcerer in his generation, was seen crying over his dying wife and dying unborn child. his tall figure was trembling in tangled emotions that he couldn't even determine the two ends.

“sorry to ruin your moment, but if you want to save your family, it's better for us to keep moving now.” shoko followed the suit, still savage as ever.

gojo does what she said and teleports the three of you into the bestest hospital that he knows. ignoring the toll on his cursed energy as it took more, more than the usual usage, satoru believes that your well-being should be his priority rather than his.

when they arrived, shoko immediately started to bump the people out of the way and started to call for help. “someone! get us to an emergency!” she screamed.

meanwhile, satoru keeps your body close to him. hugging your frame ever so delicately, scared that you might break or disappear.

a man like satoru gojo, whom to some called him a man-god, find himself crying out to every gods and deities out there to help you, to help him get this through. he prays and prays to keep you safe and how he's sorry for all of the things he would do.

for sure, he knew this sudden care for you is not born out of pity or regret, it is a late realization on how much he couldn't bear to see you like this. because deep inside him, satoru couldn't deny the warm feeling of having someone that was waiting for him to come home, provide him service, and even give him a bundle of joy.

the words he swore to himself that he doesn't need a wife to console his woes as he is completely capable of being by himself was getting eaten by his current self. served on a silver platter, satoru didn't mind eating his own words.

a stretcher was bought on sight and shoko instructed him to put your body there and watch the series of doctors rush your body into the emergency room. satoru watches the light above the door where you were in turns red, signaling that it requires immediate medical attention.

placing his traumatized body on one of the cold walls of the hospital, sliding his man shoulders and crumbling himself into small pieces to make himself as small as possible. never he would have thought that the night would end with him continuing to pray for your safety.

satoru didn't realize that he dozed off within the walls of a random corner of a hospital where he brought you in. he only realized his current situation when he could feel someone kicking his lower body constantly.

opening his tired eyes, he saw shoko eyeing him while still continuing to nudge him. “good, you're awake.” she said.

it feels like a surge of energy flows to his body and it immediately makes him rise up faster than he could. that was also when he started to feel all of the aches in his body just from sleeping in that kind of position.

“fuck, my whole body aches.” he mumbles to himself. satoru was about to stretch himself when he saw the time on the wall.

5:05 AM

and then his eyes landed on the door.

there was no red light anymore.

“y/n. shoko, where's y/n?!” anxiousness washed all over his body. he didn't know what to expect on what answers he's about to receive regarding his family condition.

meanwhile, shoko thinks that gojo looked like a lost puppy on how his eyes literally beg for a positive answer. despite his six foot frame, he looks like a poor and desperate child.

“the operation ended an hour ago. y/n was now stable and goy transferred into one of the private rooms. while the baby…” she pauses.

“w-what? what happened to my baby?” shoko almost grimaces the way satoru addresses the unborn child, wondering where the hell did he get the guts to say that.

the doctor was this close to brutally and savagely roast this man until he flew in shame—that’s how mad, angry, and upset shoko from what satoru did to you. but today is not the suitable day for that, she may be cruel but she had limits. so, shoko forcefully swallowed the harsh words and decided to just put it aside.

“the baby was delivered early through cesarean, it's the only way to save y/n and the child. the baby is currently in a neonatal intensive care unit where the bestest doctors monitor the child until it reaches mature development.”

so basically, you give birth to his child. satoru couldn't explain what he's feeling right now. he's happy for the baby, and yet at the same time, he feels really undeserving, but he still wants to be part of the child's life—this is too complicated for him.

and besides, this is not the right time to contemplate. because as a husband and father, he needed to stay with his family to provide them love, support, and to patch that once had been wounded. and he's going to start with…

“can i go and see y/n?” deep inside him, satoru felt ridiculous for asking that question since he is the literal husband! or was he? after everything he had done to her for five years?

shoko then tiredly pointed at the room at the end of the hallway and satoru, with the help of his long legs, never ran faster than his whole life.

gently opening the door in your room, satoru was greeted by your peaceful and sleeping form with all of the tubes connected on the back of your hand. closing the door behind him, satoru finally let go of the tears he's been holding the whole time, ranging from the confrontation with you until to to this situation.

sitting on the chair beside your bed, satoru weeps as he holds your arm. at this moment, the strongest no longer exists, it was just gojo satoru who couldn't stop himself from muttering an apology to his wife that he did so wrong.

they say, you would only realize the importance of something when it's now late. satoru would absolutely agree to that statement and he could even provide proofs and evidence. at first, he's being a total dick and douchebag to his wife who clearly doesn't even do anything wrong to him. then his own wife endured all of his actions for the whole five years and still remained as if their relationship could be only determined on a sheet of paper.

“i'm sorry. i'm so sorry.” satoru may not know what would happen the moment you would open your eyes. would you send him away? or would you let him stay despite all of the pain and trauma he caused you? for now, he can never know.

but one thing he's going to let you know, he's going to change for you and for his baby. he's done doing things for himself, and now, he should focus on you.

and he's going to start with cutting all of his ties to his mistress.

[part 3 will be on june 5 at 9pm (philippine standard time), for those who wanted to be tagged, just say it on the comments — ©luvvixu2024]

taglists: @mistymuii @kalopsia-flaneur @sherryuki-callmeyuki @tttttttf @slyhersophia @rirk-ke @username23345 @lvstru @neteyxms

#satoru gojo #gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #fanfic #anime #gojo satoru #satoru x you #gojou satoru x reader #gojo satoru x y/n #gojo satoru x you #gojo angst #gojo satoru angst #satoru angst #angst #luvvixu #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jjk angst #jjk #jjk satoru #jjk gojo satoru

[moonstruckme]

Hi Mae! I've been obsessed with your writing for a while now, ur poly marauders is just perfecttt. The way you write them is just so accurate to my personal characterizations and head cannons :)

I had an idea that I thought would be cute but feel free to ignore if it doesn't inspire you ofc.

I was thinking about poly! Marauders x goth! Reader. Like reader forcing them to watch her favorite horror movies or explore abandoned places or like go to a concert or smtn

Omg and the reader dressing up to go out with them and them just dying cuz the eyeliner and fishnets and everything (who can blame them, goth girls r gorgeous 😍😍)

Thanks lovely!!

poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 927 words

“Is it on me?” James hears the door open, followed by Sirius’ voice, growing shriller. “Is it on me?” 

“I don’t think so.” You sound one part amused and two parts exasperated. “Stay still, I can’t look while you’re moving around.” 

James leaves the dishes in the sink to soak, too curious to prioritize chores. He finds you both in the entryway. Remus is observing from the couch as Sirius stands rigidly still and you pick through his hair unhurriedly. You’re both covered in dust and what looks to be cobwebs, made even more apparent on you by your dark clothing. 

“I thought you were going to drop clothes off at the donation bin,” James says bemusedly. 

“We did,” you reply, at the same time as Sirius says, “It was a trap!”

Remus lifts an eyebrow. James is glad he’s not the only one who seems to be missing something. 

“There’s an old abandoned church not far from there,” you explain casually. “I wanted to check it out, and Sirius thought it could be fun to explore, too.” 

“That was before I knew it housed the world’s largest spider population,” he argues. “Fuck, can someone get this thing off me? If I feel anything crawling I’m gonna flip shit.” 

“Aren’t you already?” Remus murmurs. You grin at him, stepping back to let James take over for you. 

“I assume I’m taking out the web?” James asks, picking out a piece. 

You sigh. “Sirius thought he saw a spider in the car—” 

“I know I did, thank you.” 

“—and he’s worried it got on him. But I’ve been looking, and I haven’t seen it.” 

“I’m fairly sure it would have crawled off by now, love,” Remus says, sitting up on his knees and beckoning you to the couch so he can pull the spiderwebs out of your hair, too. 

“All I know is, if no one finds that thing on me, I’m going to take the world’s hottest shower to make sure it’s dead.” 

“You’ll have to hurry,” Remus reminds him. “Our reservation is at eight.” 

“We can be a few minutes late.” 

“We cannot.”

“Fuck!” James jumps a good few feet back, hands frozen in front of him. 

“What?” Sirius cries. His shoulders seize up. “What is it?” 

“Shit, sorry, it’s nothing. I thought I saw something move, but it was your hair.” 

“Oh my god, I’m gonna fucking kill you.” Sirius puts his face in his hands, sounding less murderous than teary. “Remus, please.” 

“I’ll take care of you next,” Remus replies, dedicatedly combing his fingers through your hair. 

James mumbles an apology as he goes back to doing the same thing to Sirius. All in all, you look like you’ve actually gotten the brunt of it. You’re covered in spiderwebs, likely a result of you simply putting far less work into avoiding them than Sirius. You seem unbothered as Remus unsticks a rather large one from by your ear.  

You go off to change for dinner first, because Sirius refuses to move until both James and Remus have each checked him over for spiders twice, and even then he still insists upon his shower. James can’t say he’d feel differently in his place. 

He thinks he might need a cold shower himself when you come back out. 

“Angel,” James breathes. It’s both an endearment and an observation. His eyes stutter their way up you, continually snagging on fishnet tights and kohl-lined eyes and the little lace ruffle lining your top. His tongue feels heavy in his mouth. 

“You look lovely,” Remus says, smooth where James is not, and you grin as you lean down to kiss him on the cheek. A pink tinge rises up from beneath your boyfriend’s freckles and scars. When you lift your lips, you leave a dark imprint of lipstick behind that James has absolutely no intentions of telling him about. 

“So do you,” you say, as though he’s not wearing the exact same thing he was a minute ago. (Though James is nonetheless inclined to agree. Remus always looks lovely.) Your eyes turn to James, the black liner making them look deeper and even more striking than usual. 

“You do, too,” you tell him. He feels a flock of butterflies (do butterflies have flocks?) scare into flight in his stomach. 

His grin feels wobbly, but certainly not for lack of enthusiasm. “Thanks,” he manages. 

“So, I was talking to Sirius in the bathroom,” you say, sitting on the arm of the couch. James’ eyes follow the movement of your skirt, the way it rides up with the motion. He warms in several places. “He says that if the spider’s not on him, it has to be in the car. He won’t get in it until we’ve checked.” 

Remus exhales heavily through his nose, and you nod your agreement. 

“I’m not convinced he actually saw anything,” you say. “He is so paranoid.” 

“Or maybe you,” James leans over to kiss your cheek, unable to restrain himself any longer as he reaches around you to squeeze the fat of your hip, “are just far too even-tempered from watching so many horror films.” 

“No, he’s paranoid,” Remus agrees with you, groaning as he gets up. “I’ll check the car. If I don’t find anything, we’ll just say we caught it.” 

“I’ll help.” You slip off the arm of the couch, starting after him with springy steps. 

James follows, if only so he can stand behind you and keep you from flashing the next-door neighbors when you bend over to look. It’s strictly selfless.

#poly!marauders #poly!marauders x reader #poly!marauders x fem!reader #poly!marauders x y/n #poly!marauders x you #poly!marauders x self insert #poly!marauders fanfiction #poly!marauders fanfic #poly!marauders fic #poly!marauders fluff #poly!marauders imagine #poly!marauders scenario #poly!marauders drabble #poly!marauders blurb #poly!marauders one shot #poly!marauders oneshot #james potter #james potter x reader #sirius black #sirius black x reader #remus lupin #remus lupin x reader #marauders #marauders fanfiction #marauders fandom #the marauders #hp marauders #marauders era #marauders x reader

[mudandmire]

Contrasts

Azris Week - Day One: Contrasts

~~~ Hello hello! I found the Azris ship and the community this year and have absolutely been consumed by it. I love this idea, I love these two characters, and I love that there's so much potential between them and for them to feed and inspire such a wonderful community. I've never participated in the acotar fandom apart from this, and I'm so excited! Thank you so much to @azrisweek for putting together this event, I have had so much fun letting my brain run free like a dog off a leash with these prompts :D ~~~

Tell me

Azriel calls him tatlım, and Eris doesn’t know what it means.

It’s a secret, he supposes he can accept it—relate to it. Nooks and hidden corners itch and snarl with the weight of his own. An enchanted drawer he keeps in the washroom holds his greatest wonder and his greatest shame.

The journal weighs heavy in Eris’s mind. He traces back the parchment pages with intangible fingers during lulls in his father’s council meetings. The drone of bees, lazy and fat in the afternoon sun becomes the hushed whisper of a canyon gale through dried grass. The lines he inks, stroke by stroke, Azriel matches in full, thrumming strides. Words next to his are clean, unbroken, while Azriel’s remain thick, written in charcoal with smudges at the corners from where his fist has run over the line.

When it’s dark, a time when even shadows cannot creep and loom larger, Eris presses his own fingertips to those words. The smears of charcoal because Azriel had told him early on in their budding friendship when they were young that he can’t use quills.

“They're too thin, my hands shake too much.” A smaller version of Azriel speaks the memory into his mind. The whorls and pockmarks on his hands hidden between the gap of his thighs.

Eris had taken it as a challenge—and now he revels in it. Azriel is messy with his charcoal pencil, too free with his mistakes and smudges and it leaves Eris half a country away and entirely breathless.

‘Tell me what bothers you, tatlım.’ Azriel had written him earlier, the familiar scrawl of his heavy hand appearing stroke by stroke in the filled pages of Eris’s enchanted journal.

Two were made, Eris gave one away. He could not bring himself to regret it even if his life were on the line.

‘Tatlım?’ Eris had asked, his letters looped and coiled together in the way they get when he rushes, when he needs answers.

There was no sound save for Eris’s own steady pulse, the whistle of air through his nose as he waited for a response. And yet he could’ve swore he heard Azriel’s laugh, the breathy one, brush against the point of his ear.

The words appear in the space between one breath and the next: ‘Maybe one day, gach’lilit, I will tell you. For now, stop avoiding my prying.’

Eris places a hand on the rise of his chest. Holding in something that seems to be rising from his stomach to his throat and lands gently on his tongue like the orange and black patterned butterflies in the garden.

‘Tell me now,’ he begs, ‘and I will tell you whatever you wish, Azriel.’

‘Come back to visit me, sweetheart. That’s all I ask.’

It had formed a pause in their effortless back and forth. Eris wanted to—Azriel knew that. No, the issue wasn’t in Azriel’s plea, he knew just how much Eris longed for the little village in the Illyrian steppes. The stable in the field and the small, knobby kneed, black lamb that follows Azriel around like ducklings in the Forest House pond in spring. He misses the creeping, ruby red moss and the yellow and sage aspens that crop up from out of the golden plains like the jagged teeth of a cliff.

Most of all, most desperately of all, he misses Azriel. There is not one inch of his soul that doesn’t.

The inked tip of his quill hangs over the page, a knife poised for the final push. Through skin, muscle, bone, to the heart of everything—the rot that waits, festering under the floorboards of his adamant desire to run. It is one thing; it is also a collection of things Eris has stored like the most gruesome of trinkets, the most harrowing of trophies.

Because Azriel calls him sweetheart. He writes in his tongue letters of longing and punctuates them with words like tatlım, and gach’lilit. As much as Eris wants to stitch those given titles to his chest, he already has one.

Eris Vanserra. Heir of Fire. Son of Autumn.

Sweetheart. Tatlım. Gach’lilit.

He cannot have both. The heir who wears the crown, who feels it’s golden spiked thorns pierce the thin skin of his head knows this. Eris Vanserra was not born with room on his chest for titles other than this: his father’s son.

When his quill meets the page, a heaviness in his hand that wasn’t previously there, he knows Azriel already knows what he will write.

‘Soon,’ he lies, ‘when the festival of the summer sun comes, I’ll visit.' Eris Vanserra cannot flaunt about the wilds of the Night Court without purpose or reason. Even less if the hint of the reason is his desire to see an Illyrian male—but he can set out on inter-court business to strengthen alliances, break down information, and gather intel. Eris Vanserra cannot winnow straight from the quilts of his bed into the hay-strewn floor of Azriel’s stable.

No matter how much he wants to.

His chest pinches, a sharp point digging into the sensitive skin between his ribs when Azriel takes a minute longer to reply. The page remaining horribly empty with their spare words, their delicate dance.

‘Then I will just have to hold onto these words a little longer, besheirt. I wish for you to hear them in person, for they are as sacred to me as you are.’

Something cracks, folds then splinters and out pours a smile like evening sunlight through the painted colors of autumn leaves in the canopy. The tension building in his shoulders leaks down and pools around his feet, an unwanted puddle he completely forgets about Eris may be an heir, a son of autumn, and child of a loveless, forced marriage; but he is also sacred. Something holy and divine by only the rights of Azriel, and Azriel alone.

Eris has his titles. The stitched corners of his heart taken up piece by piece, but he will forever play the game of keeping himself in between the two if it will let him keep Azriel.

He has his own titles to give him.

~~///~~///~~///~~

(Key for words:)

Tatlım - ‘Sweetheart’

Gach’lilit - ‘Firefly’

Besheirt - ‘Notion of a soul mate, but mostly means Intended in terms of spouse’

aH. Alright okay cool I'm so normal about them. This is a short little thing, and it doesn't follow canon lore lol sorry about that. I really loved the idea of contrasts because for me it's what first drew me to this pairing. At first it seemed like there were too many contrasts for them to even be compatible, and then through softening my perspective of both of these characters and their flaws (and no small amount of delusion in which we merely squint from afar at SJMs portrayal of these characters) I found that maybe these contrasts actually enhance their chemistry. what crazy imagine that.

#your honor im obessed with them thanks #azris #azrisweek2024 #azriel x eris #ah im main tagging this is frightening.

[hugmekenobi]

S3: The Bad Batch (11)

Chapter Eleven: Point of No Return

Gif by @moonstrider9904

Hunter x femaleJedi!reader

Series Summary: Ever since Eriadu, Clone Force 99 had been a fractured squad. Months have passed but you're finally back with the Batch but Omega is still out there and you won't stop until you find her again.

Chapter Summary: The Empire closes in on you and the Batch

Masterlist for S1 and S2

<Previous Chapter

Genre: Friends (idiots) to Lovers (we're in the lovers stage now)

Chapter Warnings: Canon-typical violence, threats, food mentions, flash of PDA and fluff in the beginning, referenced character death, rip a certain ship :(, self-blame, brief injury mention, humour as a tool for deflection, overall angsty vibes

Word Count: 4.2K

Author's notes: Still sticking very close to the episode here but hope it's still enjoyable and episode 12 is in progress!!

Getting into the pirate’s ship had been all too easy. He wasn’t going to fail this time. CX-2 decrypted the coordinates before he put the transmission for Scorch through, “The Trandoshan’s intel paid off. I tracked the pirate and accessed her navicomputer. She tried to cover her tracks but I broke the encryption.”

“What did you find?”

“She frequented a planet in the Outer Rim. I’m headed there now to do recon.”

“Send the coordinates. I’ll have a full division on standby if you require a visual on the targets.” Scorch provided before he signed off.

CX-2 entered the coordinates for Pabu.

--

“That’s gotta be all of it, right?” Wrecker asked in disbelief as he saw the three of you approach and unload the next round of supplies.

“We still need to grab the rations.” Hunter told him. “Keep loading up the ship. We’ll be back.”

Wrecker groaned, “Fine. But at least bring me back an ice cone.”

“Just one?” You questioned with an enticing grin as you walked backwards away from him and the ship.

“No, no, no. You’re right! M-Make it two!” Wrecker corrected his error.

You gave a two-fingered salute in reply before you turned around and jogged to catch up with Hunter and Crosshair.

--

“I wish you didn’t have to leave.” Lyana said lowly as she led Omega through the Archium.

“Me too, but Hunter thinks it’s safer for everyone if we do.”

Lyana led her over to a gap in one of the ledges. “What do you think of this spot?”

“It’s perfect.” Omega said with a thankful smile.

“So, which treasures did you bring?” Lyana asked, her tone curious but respectful of what this moment meant to those that left things here and Omega would not be treated differently.

Omega tucked Lula under her arm and brought out Tech’s cracked goggles. She held them delicately in her hands as she let the memories that they brought wash over her.

“You sure you wanna leave these behind?” Lyana double checked gently.

“Pabu was the first place that felt like a home.” Omega placed both objects down with the utmost care. “This way, a piece of us is still here.”

Lyana laid a supportive hand on her friend’s shoulder. “Well, I’ll make sure these stay safe until you come back.” She looked at Omega with a new type of seriousness. “Because you will come back, right?”

“I hope so.” Omega replied, the harsh reality of the day quickly catching up to her as she realised this would be the last time she would see her for a while.

--

“And where are you going?” Hunter asked with a questioning smile and tilt of his head as you separated from them. “We’ve got rations to get.”

You feigned disgust at the very idea. “Hey, I have the very important ice-cone mission. I cannot be diverted with a mere ration run.” You said with a coy grin before you pressed a swift kiss to Hunter’s cheek and sauntered off with exaggerated determination.

“Get that lovesick smile of your face before I throw up.” Crosshair snickered with a roll of his eyes as he saw the way Hunter watched you go.

“Shut up.” Hunter shoved his brother’s shoulder before they carried on with their own search.

--

“I don’t even think there’s room on this ship for all this gear.” Wrecker complained to Gonky as he saw all that was still to be shifted and he knew there was still more to come. However, Gonky’s cheeky honks of reply were not the commiseration he was looking for. “Oh, yeah? Well, maybe I should leave you behind.” He retorted, smirking at the offended honks he got in response.

Wrecker brought more of the stuff on board, completely unaware that the proximity sensor had been flashing a half second before.

--

CX-2 landed the ship in the cavern and began his hunt.

--

Hunter paused as he heard the nervous squeaking on the island birds, their tone matching his own growing sense of unease.

“What is it?” Crosshair asked.

“Not sure, but I don’t like it.” Hunter brought out his comm. “Omega, time to go.”

Upon hearing that, you gave up your spot in line and joined up with Hunter and Crosshair. You’d make it up to Wrecker another time.

--

CX-2 scanned the bustling market stalls from above and that was when he caught sight of the two clones and the targets he’d been sent to acquire. He touched the control panel on his sleeve and got Scorch on his comm.

“Report.” Scorch demanded.

“I’ve got eyes on the targets.”

“Ground them and wait for the division. They must be recovered unharmed. No mistakes this time.”

“And the clones they’re with?” He asked as he saw the group of you leaving the area.

“If they get in your way, eliminate them.”

--

“We’re sorry to see you go, but you’re all welcome here anytime.” Shep said sincerely. “Those homes will be waiting for you when you get back.”

You bowed your head in gratitude.

“Thanks for everything, Shep.” Hunter said, shaking his hand.

Omega and Lyana shared in a hug.

“I’ll see you soon.” Lyana said as she parted from Omega.

The four of you and Batcher started to make your way back to Wrecker.

--

The sun had almost set by the time Wrecker finished getting the most recent batch of supplies onto the ship, but he just took relief in the fact that he wouldn’t be alone in shifting the next round of gear.

As he went to grab the last crate, he paused on the steps as he picked up on a faint but rapid series of beeps.

He recognised the sound.

He knew exactly what that meant.

He reacted quickly and with a shout, he abandoned the ship and grabbed Gonky just as the Marauder exploded, hurling both of them into the sea.

With the last of his strength, he managed to pull himself onto a piece of debris before his vision went dark.

--

Upon hearing the harsh echoing boom of an explosion, you all instantly ran to the edge of Upper Pabu and your heart thumped in a frantic panic as you saw the distant flames and charred remnants of what was once the Marauder.

Hunter brought out his binoculars and took in the scene. He saw Wrecker and Gonky floating in the water and felt his own panic set in at seeing his brother unconscious. He put on his helmet and started running for the docks.

You did the same with your coverings and Crosshair put on his helmet before the three of you followed close behind.

--

One of the locals had grabbed a boat and brought Wrecker and Gonky back to port.

You pushed your way through the crowd of people and stopped short as you saw Wrecker’s body.

Omega knelt down by Wrecker’s side. “Wrecker? Wrecker!” Omega gasped, desperately shaking his shoulders to try and rouse him but it did no good.

Your stomach dropped to your feet. It took all the training you had to not lose control upon seeing the lack of response from Wrecker. He was strong, he was always so strong. He had to be alright.

“Mox and Stak, take Wrecker to Shep’s. Deke, get Az-3 to patch him up, and fast.” Hunter ordered the regs. He needed his brother back on his feet. He needed him to be okay.

“Ships don’t just blow up. We’ve been compromised.” Crosshair realised.

Hunter turned his head from Wrecker to the sound of a deep rumbling from above and what he saw sent both a deep anger and dread through his veins. The Imperial Star Destroyer hovered above the Archium and a series of gunships swarmed down. “Everyone, get to cover!”

Amidst the crowds of panicked and screaming people, the four of you regrouped and found cover of your own.

--

Shep was helpless to stop the hordes stormtroopers from moving in. He could only watch in despair as his people ran in fear.

--

“Cut off all escape routes. Destroy any ships or sea skiffs in sight.” CX-2 ordered as he remained unphased by the chaos around him. It wouldn’t affect what he needed to achieve; it would only help.

--

You and Omega both paused as you saw the destruction the Empire was causing to the docks.

The only light in the night were the fires caused by the Imperial gunfire.

The only sounds the whirr of gunship and cried of fear that echoed around the island.

Kamino, the Marauder, Pabu… How many more homes was the Empire going to take from you?

From these innocent people?

And how much longer could you let it go on?

A glance down at Omega told you she was thinking similarly to you. You indicated your head back and you both joined the others in an alleyway.

“Is this our fault? Are they attacking because of us?” Omega whispered up at you as she kept Batcher calm.

You wished with every fibre of your being that you could tell her no. That they were the ones at fault but the own guilt residing in your heart made the words die before they left your lips. How could you reassure her when you couldn’t believe the words yourself? It was never meant to go this way. The very thing you had wanted to avoid had happened and now you knew there was only one real way out of it.

Hunter crouched down. “It’s the Empire’s fault. Not yours. You have to stay focused. Both of you.” He implored with a helmeted look in your direction too.

“They’re destroying all means of escape and jamming our comms.” Crosshair said as he tried his comm, but it was only static. “We have to steal one of their gunships. Once we’re out of range, we can contact Echo.”

“I’ll handle it.” Hunter said. “You three, get to Shep’s and wait with Wrecker until I signal you.”

You caught his vambrace and pulled him back to you. You pressed your forehead against his helmet.

Hunter had a distinct and sinking feeling that this was you saying goodbye, but he wasn’t going to let that be the case- this plan would work… it- it had to. “I’ll see you soon.” He said as he stepped away.

You couldn’t quite meet his helmeted gaze as you nodded before you, Omega and Batcher split from him to head to Shep’s.

Hunter gave Crosshair a last meaningful look before he went in the opposite direction.

Crosshair knew what that look meant- keep them safe. And he would do everything in his power to do that. He followed you and Omega.

--

“Lock down the town. Search every domicile until you find them.” CX-2 ordered the squadrons of troopers.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Shep demanded as he approached the black-armoured soldier that seemed intent on ruining the lives of so many people.

“Who are you?” CX-2 replied with equal parts disdain and curiosity.

“The mayor of this town. You’ve opened fire on my village and its people without warning and without reason. Under what pretence are you attacking?” Shep seethed.

“We’re here to collect some fugitives you’ve been harbouring.” CX-2 brought out the puck and flashed the two images.

Shep made sure to keep his true reaction at bay- he wouldn’t give you and Omega away if he could help it. “You can’t just barge in here-”

“I’ve barely done anything yet.” CX-2 interrupted coldly.

“You destroyed our docks and fishing skiffs. Our livelihood.”

“I have simply cut off their means of escape. But I can do worse. I know they are here. Until they are turned over to me, your island will burn.” CX-2 threatened as he walked away.

--

The path to Shep’s had been fraught with troopers and each time like this where you had to hide from the next roaming patrol only slowed things down more.

You peered round the corner of your hiding spot to see one of the villagers being forced out of her home and you heard her distressed plea.

“You can’t do this! It’s our home!”

You were fighting the urge to go out and it seemed Batcher also shared in your current sentiment as Omega was doing her best to keep the dog quiet and calm.

And the cruel reply from the trooper that you heard next only confirmed what you already dreaded.

“We know they’re here! Where are the Jedi and the girl?”

“I don’t know! I swear-”

The familiar sound of a slap made your blood boil. You went to reveal yourself to stop them but Crosshair’s hand on your arm prevented you from doing so.

Omega couldn’t hold Batcher back though. The dog snarled and charged for the soldiers before they could do anymore harm.

“Batcher can handle herself. Let’s go.” Crosshair said to you both as he made sure Omega didn’t go to follow the dog either.

--

You had managed to scale the wall up to Shep’s and opened the door.

“Lyana!” Omega said with a relieved gasp.

“Omega! My-My dad, he said to hide here.” Lyana said fearfully. She ran up to her friend and hugged her tight, “I’m so scared.”

“I know. I’m so sorry.” Omega replied as she parted from her.

You and Crosshair took off your coverings as you saw AZ attending to Wrecker.

“How’s Wrecker, AZ?” You asked.

“He is still unconscious, but his vitals are stable.”

You allowed yourself to feel some semblance of relief at that, but you hastily pushed it to one side as you heard another gunships sound outside.

The three of you ran back out to take in what was happening and what you saw made your chest tighten and curl your fists in rage- stormtroopers were everywhere, removing people from their homes, tossing them to the ground, arresting them. It was unnecessarily cruel, and it was all because you were still here.

--

Getting onto the gunship had started out as a stealth mission but quickly became one where Hunter just had to get inside without getting shot.

He’d managed to do so but the pilot was making his life extremely difficult with erratic flying designed to fling him out. He had to take a tight grasp of the handles inside to remain upright.

--

Something else then caught your attention as you saw the unstable and irregular flying patterns of an Imperial gunship and a whole different kind of emotion swept through you. You knew the exact cause of that particular situation, but you were not reassured by the sight in the slightest.

“Is that, Hunter?” Omega asked both you and Crosshair as she noticed the ship in the air.

“Yes.” You said through clenched teeth.

“Uh huh.” Crosshair echoed nonchalantly.

But then, something shifted, there was a blaster shot and vessel nosedived down towards the sea in a way that showed that neither Hunter nor the pilot was in charge of the ship anymore.

A strained breath caught in your throat as you watched the ship plummet into the sea. “Where- where is he?” You choked out as you saw Crosshair grab his macrobinoculars.

Crosshair scanned the water anxiously but let out a relieved sigh as he saw his brother resurface and swim for the shore. “He’s fine.”

You bent forwards as you braced your hands on the wall and let out a slow calming breath before the distant sound of comm chatter reminded you of your current situation.

“He’s safer than we are at the moment.” Crosshair hissed as the three of you retreated back inside Shep’s.

--

“What do we do? Troopers will be here soon.” Omega asked anxiously.

“Hunter would want us to stick to the plan.” Crosshair replied, internally scrambling to think of a way out of this.

“There’s no hiding, Crosshair. The Empire knows we’re here. They won’t stop searching until they find us!”

Whilst they were talking, you were coming up with a plan of your own. If you handed yourself in and convinced them that you’d already shipped Omega off-world, then maybe they’d leave Pabu and the rest of them alive and in peace.

You glanced between Wrecker and Lyana and the door. You took a calming breath as you came to terms with what you had to do but a squeeze of your hand brought your eyes downwards. No. You said as you saw her nod at you.  

“You promised.” Omega reminded you.

This is different, Omega. It’s not a choice you should need to make. It-

“You’re going, I know you are!” Omega interrupted. “But that won’t be enough, they’re here for me too! They won’t stop and you know it. It is my choice!”

Crosshair clued in and realised what the two of you were arguing about. “Absolutely not.”

“It’s our only option, Crosshair.” You said heavily.

“What? No, it’s not. We-”

“Look at what they’ve already done.” You said, a flash of anger coming through. “We can’t let the people here suffer any more because of us. That’s why we were leaving in the first place- to avoid this. We can’t let it carry on. We just can’t.” I’m not risking anyone else. Wrecker already got hurt, I’m not risking you and I’m not risking Hunter. If I could help it, Omega wouldn’t be coming but I can’t and it kills me that I can’t, but it’s how it has to be.

Crosshair went to respond to you, but Omega got in first, “If we let them take us, it stops.” She emphasised.

Crosshair focused on the young girl, distress in his voice. “You’ll be taken back to Tantiss.”

“Exactly. We’ve been trying to find those coordinates, and nothing’s worked. But if we keep our comms on us, and turn ourselves in, you can track us to Tantiss. This is our chance. Our chance to finally rescue the clones imprisoned there.”

“No. They’ll search you and find it. It won’t work.” Crosshair argued.

“Then shoot a secondary tracker onto the ship that they take us away on.” You suggested.

“Too many unknown variables. It’s not a viable plan.”

“It’s all we’ve got.” You countered.

“And it’s our choice.” Omega reminded him again.

Crosshair looked imploringly in your direction now. “Tantiss is different. This isn’t some random Imperial that’ll take you this time. It’ll be Hemlock. Who knows what he’ll do to you there.”

You also saw a genuine fear behind his eyes, and it unnerved you. It won’t be for long, I’ll be alright. “Focus on the bigger mission, Crosshair.” You said aloud and you came to stand behind Omega and rested your hands on her shoulders.

“Yeah, we’re just a small part of it.” Omega agreed.

Crosshair found himself in a position where he was forced to reflect on that, and he had to agree with you both.

--

The two of you got ready to depart but you noticed the reluctance that still graced Crosshair’s face and you approached him.

“He’s going to kill me.” Crosshair said to you quietly.

So, tell him he was right that Hemlock was after me too, that outta smooth things over.

“It’s not funny.” Crosshair snapped. He didn’t want to lose you both either. Not when he knew how important you both were to Hunter, to this squad… to this family. He’d finally made ground with you, you were one of them, you always had been, and he’d welcomed that feeling again. And Omega, well, Omega had seen and been through it all with him already, he owed her much more than a half-baked rescue plan.

Yeah sorry, it’s a bad habit. You went serious again and shook your head. “He’s not going to do that, Crosshair. Six months ago, maybe he would’ve, but not now. He’s not going to lose the progress he’s built with you either, not anymore. He’ll understand.” You glanced back to Omega who was standing by the door and regret stabbed your heart over the fact that this was to be her fate too, but you also knew that she wouldn’t have it any other way. “We’re very stubborn and determined individuals.” You said fondly before you looked back at him and placed a reassuring hand on his upper arm. “Just don’t miss.” You said with a light but resigned smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes.

With that, you and Omega exited the hut.

--

You caught Omega’s shoulder just before you rounded the corner to make yourselves known. You crouched down to her eye-level. “Omega… you know if there was any other option that I could think of that would get us- particularly you- out of this, I would do it in a heartbeat.”

Omega nodded. “I know, but it’s what we have to do.” She said bravely.

Your heart broke a little bit more right then and there- this was something no kid should ever have to do, “You had to grow up far too fast.” You murmured, both with sadness and a hint of pride in your voice as you gave her a loving hug before the two of you stepped out of your hiding spot.

--

“Stop.”

CX-2 signalled the troopers with the flamethrowers to disengage as he heard the voice of a woman.

“We surrender.” Omega said as all eyes, both Imperial and Pabu civilians turned in your direction.

“Stay alert. I neutralised the other two clones with them, but not the third.” CX-2 advised as he approached you two.

“Take us and leave the island alone.” You said as you held your wrists out.

“The people here are innocent.” Omega did the same thing as you.

CX-2 first put the cuffs on the young girl, “Then you never should have come here in the first place.”

“I’m assuming these are the special cuffs made just for me?” You said dully as the operative attached a second pair to your wrists, and you noticed the slightly different design of them compared to Omega’s.

“Why don’t you try them and find out?”

The harsh modulated voice sent a cold shiver of fear down your spine, but you covered it up. “Nah, you seem like someone who is on top of things, so I’ll take your word for it.” You were determined to not flinch under the unwavering glare of his helmet.

“Scan them for tracking devices.” CX-2 ordered as he confiscated your knife and Jedi weapon.

As expected, the comm devices were picked up immediately.

“Give them to me.” CX-2 demanded.

You and Omega reluctantly handed them over before you were both shoved and made to walk between the squadron of troopers as they got ready to transport you off the planet.

--

Crosshair had watched the surrender take place and had been stealthily tracking and making his way to a vantage point where he could tag the ship that you were to be taken away on.

--

Hunter staggered to shore and collapsed to his hands and knees.

He felt the water seeping through the gaps in his armour, weighing him down, and it was choking him beneath his helmet.

He removed it and took a few recovering breaths before he became alert to the sound of rustling just ahead of him. He instantly got to his feet and guardedly drew his blaster as he waited for the threat to show.

But he was able to relax his stance as Batcher came into view and ran over to him with a happy bark. He bent down and rubbed her side with a slight grin before he glanced up at the Archium and the rest of the island, but he didn’t see as many ships anymore.

And the realisation at what was about to happen hit him harder than he had hit the water.

Hunter grabbed his helmet and started running back, Batcher close at his heels.

--

You swallowed thickly as you and Omega were marched to the docks and forced to walk past the wreckage of both the sea skiffs and the Marauder.

CX-2 tapped the band on his arm and his ship came flying to meet the three of you.

You and Omega paused before boarding but an insistent jab of the butt of the operative’s rifle prompted you both to step up.

--

Crosshair got into position and readied himself to take the shot when the flashlight hit him.

“Over there!”

He fired back at the small squad of troopers that had found him and dealt with them as quickly as he could, but the interruption had moved him out of the prime position.

He had to run for it.

His gait was rushed.

His aim unsteady.

But there was no more time.

The ship’s engines were powering up.

He had no choice but to fire.

The ship took off.

His tracker missed.

And he could only look on in complete and utter dismay and horror as the ship flew out of view.

--

“Targets acquired. Returning to base.” CX-2 transmitted before he put the ship into hyperspace.

You and Omega sat side by side on the metal floor.

Omega took off her hat and leaned against your shoulder. “We’ll have each other there.” She murmured, doing her best to keep her voice composed.

“Yeah, we’ll be okay.” You whispered back.

Next Chapter (to be posted)>

Tagging: @noeasyisnoisy, @arctrooper69, @dominoeffectsworld, @andreaaxy, @notgonnaedit, @nightmonkeysstuff , @jellybeanstacey0519 @callsign-denmark @allthingsimagines, @superbookishhufflepuff

#the bad batch #the bad batch season 3 #tbb s3 #hunter x reader #hunter x femalejedi!reader #hunter x fem!reader #hunter x female!reader #sergeant hunter #sergeant hunter x reader #hunter tbb #hunter the bad batch #the bad batch hunter x you #hunter x y/n #tbb hunter x reader #the bad batch fanfiction #friends to lovers #star wars #angst #fluff

[gg-neptune]

Stray Cat

Bit of Snape fluff. Snape x Reader. Hope you enjoyyyyyy <333 (Sorry if grammar errors)

Getting Severus to cuddle is like petting a stray cat at first. However, once you get him to, he will NEVER stop.

Getting past his hard shell was difficult. Months of coaxing him into you. Teaching him, you can be trusted. That he does not have to be scared to show his emotions to you and be vulnerable. You will not criticize him; you'll treat his heart with care.

It starts with not poisoning him. This might sound like an exaggeration but when you bring him a batch of cookies you made just for him you realize just how thick his wall is built up.

He makes you stay in office while he casts a spell that determines if the cookies are poisoned or not. Realizing you are not trying to kill him and indeed just wanted to do something nice for him he stiffens and says a very strangled "thanks" before he ushers you out of his office not giving you the chance to say a word.

For a while you think he might be mad at you for some reason you don't know. Maybe he doesn't like chocolate chip? That was until he passively comments on how good your baking is when you are in the staff room talking to Minerva.

Then when he finally warms up to baked goods you have to get him accustomed to your presence in general. He is a very lonely man. He is used to spending majority of his time alone, he's used to the longing of wishing someone was here to keep him company. Now that someone is here, he doesn't know what to do with himself honestly.

Eventually he gets used to your presence. He gets used to the signs of you left around his office. The hair ties, the blankets (because it's freezing in the dungeons), your jacket you forgot last night, everything that is you that just about a year ago he would have disdained he accepts.

Slowly after spending so much time with him just lingering in his office watching him work observing him, you get touchier with him.

You must be slow with him or like a stray cat he's going to get scared and run off. Just brushing against him at first. When you lean over him to look at his work putting your hand a bit too close to his. Looking at his potions and subtly holding your shoulder against his.

It all starts there. Soon enough you're walking into his office with your arms open waiting for your Severus Snape hug for the day. Holding onto him for longer than nessacery. Breathing in his scent that you've grown to associate with the calmness of him. Resting your head on his chest while his rests on your head, him burying his face into your hair.

Pulling him away from his work at ungodly hours. Pulling him onto the little couch in the corner of his office, that has recently been reserved only for you. Gently coaxing him into your arms. Whispering to him to relax and to trust you. After all these months of breaking down the thick wall of emotional protection he had put up, he lets you hold him. Hid head resting on your shoulder, arms wrapped around your waist, his shoulders slowly relax.

Your fingers run through his hair gently massaging his scalp. Your other hand running up and down his back.

"Why do you treat me like this?"

"Like what Severus?"

"Like I deserve this much affection."

"You do Severus."

After that night Severus seeks you out. He seeks your gentle affection. He cannot stand to go a single day without seeing you. He needs the gentleness of you. His heart has longed for a person for all of his life. Recently his heart has longed for you. Now that he had you he needed you.

He loves the way you hold him. The way you help him relax. The way you don't belittle him for wanting the simple affection that everyone deserves. He had never received it before he could never imagine that a singular living soul would want to be with him. That anyone would want to hold him like that.

But you do. And to him nothing else matters.

#pro snape #severus snape #pro severus #pro severus snape #professor snape #snape #snape fandom #snape fluff #snape x reader #snape x reader fluff #snape cute #severus snape headcanons #overprotective snape #snapedom

[hxlda-hxlda]

snippet! tagged by my darling @fiddleleafedfig <3

“Alright Loony–”

“Fuck you, Crouch.”

“Lupin, darling,” Barty drawls, tongue curling along his teeth, “don’t threaten me with a good time.”

Remus catches the sound of Sirius huffing an irritated scoff.

“Fuck, marry, kill,” Barty goes on with a hum, surveying the room in what can only be a sign of trouble. Remus prepares himself for the worst. “Potter, Pettigrew and,” he stretches the syllable out, “Black.”

Regulus punches Crouch in the arm, hard enough for him to cry ‘Oi!’.

“They’re already at each other’s throats as it is, you idiot,” Regulus hisses.

“It’s an innocent question!”

“Remus, you don’t have to–”

“No, no, it’s fine.”

Remus clenches the beer resting on his thigh, deciding to drain it in one long gulp; weighing his options. He feels bad, almost, for the way James has been fidgeting uncomfortably for the last thirty minutes - something that has only increased since the game began. For Lily’s grim look that shows she thinks there are much better ways to spend their limited time.

Not, however, for the way Sirius glares pointedly at him. No, Remus relishes that part, actually.

“Fuck James,” he says.

Remus’ eyes flick over to him but James hardly acknowledges Remus, staring down into his own beer.

Evan raises his drink in apparent concurrence.

Remus scans the rest of the circle before coming back to look at Sirius Sirius. Always fucking looking at Sirius. Well, it pays off this time, when he catches the slightest of flinches after annoucning:

“Marry Peter.”

A cackle of laughter that can only be Barty. Remus can feel Regulus’ own glare now. He’s being purposefully bitter, petty, whichever other synonym you might enjoy putting here. If only he cared.

“And kill Black.”

The game continues, must do, but Remus cannot make out the jumble of words. Not with the deafening way Sirius is still, silent, angry – so, so angry. Remus can hear it in the pump of his heart, a beat he would recognise anywhere. He told them he’d forgotten it (he was lying).

It becomes a staring contest then, in a way. Unwavering, steely grey eyes. Those fucking grey eyes.

They used to do this, Sirius and Remus, Padfoot and Moony.

Slum dogs in the depths of a darkened alleyway. Fierce, as though in a stand-off, they growl over the last bone. The meat is already rotted, but what else do they have?

“Just gotta let him know he’s boss, that’s all the big puppy wants. I just roll over, show him my tummy and voilà, there you have it. No need for a big fuss. Besides, Moony always remembers me.”

“I’m impressed you can handle that. You hate not being the one in charge.”

“Yeah, well, I always make the exceptions for you. Don’t I, Moons?”

Sirius snatches his eyes away first, to his lap, to James, briefly at Regulus. It breaks whatever spell that held them both there. Conversation resumes, time resumes, it could have never happened in the first place.

“I’ll fucking kill you, Black.”

“You know what, Remus? I finally fucking believe that.”

open tag to anyone who wants to share a snippet!! i have hardly been writing while overseas, so here is something i wrote quite a few months ago (and am still rather fond of). it’s from the death eater remus fic, if you’re curious!!

#fic: i won’t believe you #writing tag #marauders #sirius black #remus lupin #wolfstar

[doctor-octiddius]

Rewatching "Our Man Bashir" and completely forgot about this. WHO DID THIS AND WHY.

#i don't think i've ever mentioned that i've been going insane over ds9 for the past month or so #and i'm still not finished with it. dodging spoilers for a show that ended decades ago is a skill #but #i need him in ways i cannot put into words #maurice's monthly gay breakdown #tw gun #maybe ? #i'm not sure. anyways. #i do NOT have a thing for guns but man. #i am going THROUGH IT tonight babes #deep space 9 #ds9 #star trek ds9 #our man bashir #julian bashir #my gifs yeehaw

[itspileofgoodthings]

one time my mom was talking about something, I don’t remember what, and she said “have you ever known the poverty of having nothing to say?” and when I say nothing has ever punctured my heart quite like that statement

#I don’t even fully know why. also I don’t think she even meant it how I took it #but there is just some part of me that does believe that that is the greatest poverty #when there are no words in your mind or heart. no phrases—nothing to rely on or fall back on #and you just have to struggle with the human condition and be able to express none of it #and I know that not everyone uses words like I do or relies on them that way but people need some words. they need something #this is why a) I never make fun of those Instagram accounts that are all cheesy inspirational quotes or whatever because people are trying #they are REACHING #also b) that’s why villains who are wordlessly violently destructive make me cry #because it’s just like—-yeah I can understand turning to violence if I didn’t have expression #if I couldn’t get anything out #also also this is not related but I watched some movie or tv show the other day (and I cannot for the life of me remember which one it was) #but there was this couple on a date and the girl asks him to complete all these proverbs after she gives him the first half #because ‘a man who knows his proverbs can’t be all bad’ and it shook. Me. To. My. CORE. #also also!! this is why I teach! it’s the heart of it for me!! And why I make them memorize poetry. like. #and put quotes on the board every day. like. You will have words and images in your mind and your heart from my class if I have anything #to say about it #anyway sometimes my mom says things and casually devastates me #and I think (I think) she was just talking about the poverty of having no news because nothing is going on #and so you have nothing to share with someone. and she was talking about my Grandma and how sometimes she was just so sullen and quiet #but it’s just because there was nothing to say #anyway anyway anyway that is also why the one time on the phone my grandma said who has known the mind of the Lord —shook me so much #because she never really said anything. words were not her thing and she never quoted anything #and suddenly her saying this line of scripture that said more than any words I’d ever said —one of the defining moments of my life #tbh. anyway this is very long I’m sorry. I have woken up this morning crying about this. idk.

[amaraudermind]

YOU'RE SOOOOO RIGHT ABOUT EZRA YOU'RE SO RIGHT IT'S LIKE YOU LOOKED INTO MY HEAD AND WROTE EVERYTHING DOWN

he's so in tune with the force I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS

NO YOU'RE RIGHT HE IS

And it's like. Being in tune with the force is one thing, right? Lots of Jedi are, lots of force users in general are, even!

But like. Okay so Hera mentioned in the pilot that Ezra opening the Holocron being a level of test, right? And it sounded like she and Kanan had discussed before something about him opening the Holocron meaning Kanan would train him.

But that's such a horrible test! In clone wars they specified that you could only open a Jedi Holocron as a Jedi. You had to be so dialed in specifically on the light side of the force.

So walk with me here. Ezra Bridger. He not only has a strong connection to the force. He not only instinctively calls on it without knowing a thing about it. He effortlessly tunes into the light side of the force, like it's as natural as breathing.

"but Void" I hear from the crowd "Ezra also tunes into the dark side of the force"

Indeed. Yes. Correct.

No but just stick with my crazed rambling for a sec okay? Because the dark side is supposed to be the easy path, the one that's so simple to fall into, it calls to force users, I mean, we see that the dark side is exactly that time and again.

I bring this up because. It's not for Ezra. The first time he grasps for the dark side he's in a panic, and it hurts him. It does get them away from the grand inquisitor but it almost doesn't. And the next time? It's after encouragement from Maul, and even then he's having to actively pursue it. He has to try to use the dark side.

And, because I think of this oh so much, when Maul needs him to open the Jedi Holocron--after he's been using the dark side and frequently, mind you--Ezra still can.

And like I have so many more incoherent thoughts about him and his force connection there's just so much he has taken up my entire brain<3

#void answers #star wars #ezra bridger #seriously words cannot encompass the amount of emotions i feel about him #why and how and what #how are you the way that you are ezra bridger #literally i have seen never seen a single other character as confounding as ezra #there are REASONS everyone latches onto this kid #i just feel like when he's actively using the dark side and clearly changed a lot #like. okay sabine says it's still ezra 'sometimes' when we see him using the dark side. #and i don't know. this part i know is more of a stretch but it feels like ezra is less called to the dark side #and more is convinced that it's the way to protect his family in a logical sense. like he has logic'd his way into thinking he NEEDS #the dark side of the force. and therefore it makes sense for him to continue using it wven though it's not natural to him. #it's still him 'sometimes' because he's having to put effort into using the dark side. when he's not trying he's...bouncing back. #and once he found a reasonable argument to NOT use the dark side. to see that it wasn't helping. it was pretty easy to step back again. #i don't know i might have just literally lost my mind from thinking about him too much i am in the middle of yet another watchthrough #we'll see how well my thought processes hold up against seeing it all transpire again #anyway

[jemmo]

i can’t tell you how much i usually hate these ignoring, distancing plots in shows and how much i absolutely adore everything about these 2 episodes of the eighth sense. like im not having a good time, and it’s fantastic.

bc the thing is, in all of this, i can’t see the right way to go, i can’t find the person to blame, i can’t find the way to make it better. I can’t single out a single moment or a thing someone did and say “this is why everything went wrong”. it’s just this coming together and rise and swell of things happening and people feeling things that has us ending up here and it feels beautifully and horribly organic bc we can’t find that point where it all went wrong. was it on that rooftop? was it at the beach? was it when they first met? was it when his brother died? was it when he was born into this family? there is no single point. it’s all of them and it’s none of them. there is truly nothing and no one to blame. and there are bad characters in the show, people you can hate, eunji and taehyung, but neither of them are to blame for any of the bad stuff that happens in the show. you’re not waiting for them to be taken down bc that doesn’t solve anything. instead, it’s just two people hurting, and not knowing how to make it better.

bc you take jaewon, and after what he says at the end of ep 8, you want to hate him, you want to be so angry at him for what he says, for how he acts, how dismissive and hurtful he is, and yet you’ve been made to understand 100% why, and not just in a “i get it but that wasn’t the right thing to do” way, in a “that was horrible and yet i know he doesn’t see any other way to handle this” way. like you don’t see this as a misstep, or a step to far, bc you know for him, in his state of mind, it is completely justified, it’s necessary. bc it not only punishes the person he blames for all of this, himself, but he sees it as a way to protect jihyun. and not even in a cliche “bad things happen when people around me, the people I love always get hurt” kinda way, but more so in that he sees that he is a scared, messy, struggling person that doesn’t know how to handle himself, and doesn’t want to inflict that on anyone, let alone the person he cares about. so what’s worse, a quick, swift blow that hurts but cuts everything off cleanly, or this prolonged relationship where he inevitably continues to weigh jihyun down with the weight of his trauma, and take it out on him. what’s the point of having a place of refuge when you ruin it more and more every time you depend on it, until it eventually can’t offer you comfort. it’s a lesser of two evils, jaewon’s choice is obvious to him.

but then you take jihyun. and we talk about masks and fronts but we never once question whether jihyun wears a mask bc he appears so sweet and innocent and naive, what can this boy possibly be putting up a front for. but i see it, this almost fake it till you make it confidence front that yes is becoming more natural. but my god just think about what he’s gone through for a second. think about it. left home for the first time in his life, moved to an unfamiliar and intimidating city with only one other person he knows, started a new job, started university, tried to build relationships, met a man that intrigues him, and perused him only to be kissed and then ignored, then maybe establish something tentative, only to then see him spiral, go on a trip where he shared his trauma, you have an intimate night together only to almost die, and then be not only ignored, but plain and simple rejected and pushed away. like… you can say all you want about jihyun growing as a person and having more courage, but no amount of growth for however many months this has been going on for can prepare you for that. for the mixed messages on steroids. for the back and forth, not knowing. to give yourself to someone like that and go through something traumatic and then be abandoned by that person. we get it, bc we see all of jaewon’s story. but apart from what jaewon shared at the beach, jihyun doesn’t know any more than that. he doesn’t know about therapy, about how his father acts towards him, about the extent of his trauma and how it manifests and affects his mental health, and how he is struggling every single day. and you can’t expect him to know the depths of that no matter how empathetic and connected he is, how much he cares about jaewon, he can’t be superhuman. and so you get why he pushes and fights for jaewon. like… he is in love. it’s clear. he’s fallen in love with him. he is this wide-eyed, open kid that fell in love with a senior. and jaewon has just messed with his head, he’s never been clear, and you can’t expect jihyun to just get past that bc he knows something is up with jaewon. he can’t know the full story, but even if he did, that can’t be a reason or a justification to be treated the way jaewon treats him. bc we’re all about jaewon putting himself first and doing what he wants and respecting himself like that, but jihyun deserves that too. and it’s such a fine line to tread when you know someone is going through something, bc again you understand why, but you’re still the one being treated that way. like we talk about jaewon’s trauma, but here jihyun was part of it, he went through that traumatic experience. he’s the one that nearly lost his life. and yes, he appears to handle it well, and no matter to what extent that’s true or not, you can’t not look at jaewon struggling and understand it and then not look at jihyun with that same understanding. it’s not about comparing trauma and pain and deciding who is suffering more, it’s seeing that there are two people in this, and they’ve both been affected, so we should give them the same level of understanding.

and that’s something jaewon has to see. that his self-preservation is selfish. that his destructive behavior doesn’t just affect jihyun, instead it feels pointed and directed, bc every way jaewon hurts himself hurts jihyun. and it comes bc jihyun was so much of what was good about jaewon’s life for a second, so attacking that is his only form of self-sabotage. he can’t mess up his relationship with his friends or parents bc they were broken in the first place, and he can’t sabotage his future bc it’s already been ruined the moment he didn’t pursue his photography major. him nearly getting kicked out of school affected him so little not just bc he wanted that punishment, but bc even that punishment meant so little to him. all these things are established and they already contribute to his suffering. removing jihyun from his life is the only active thing he can do to make himself feel worse, and he can veil it in an act of protection, and even feel like he’s doing the right thing, but that deceives them both into believing this is done from a good place, when no good can actually come of it. in trying to protect jihyun, you hurt him more. in trying to hurt yourself, you hurt him too. and when someone is in a headspace like jaewon is, you look for that thing that’ll break through. bc he is so distant, he’s trying to remove himself from reality, and jihyun needs to act as this person that can anchor him to it. when you’re trying to isolate and separate yourself, sometimes seeing that you still affect things, that there’s a persons that exists that is affected and hurt by your actions, and no matter how you try to cut yourself off, you cannot stop that, separating yourself still hurts them, maybe that’s a thing that can get through. but that’s something that depends on jaewon. ultimately, he’s the only one that can get himself out of this place, and that’s what makes it so hard, that no matter how much jihyun cares and how much he fights for him, nothing can come of that effort is jaewon doesn’t meet him there. and it’d be so easy for jihyun to give in, to take the hurt, but over the course of this show we’ve seen the strength jihyun has developed, which has only seemed to increase more so after the accident, call it a renewed vigor for life or something. he has the strength that jaewon doesn’t, to not let his pain consume him. and in a beautiful full-circle moment, it’s because of jaewon, bc when they first spoke he sparked in jihyun a want to be stronger, to be more than the country mouse, and he’s done it. and it’s that courage that means he can fight for jaewon, even in the face of rejection. he trusts himself and that he knows jaewon, the real jaewon, to see past words that are intended to hurt them both, and go after the person that’s still inside jaewon somewhere. no, he can’t do it for him, and no them being together is not some magical cure for jaewon, but it’s what can put him on a path of caring for himself again, and sometimes that has to start with caring about someone else (and suddenly I’m reminded of my beautiful man 2 and how kiyoi tries to break hira out of his worthless mindset by making him care about him, and how ultimately that can’t be enough, and that hira has to take those first steps of seeing his self worth by himself). what jihyun can do by fighting is again act as that tether to reality and try to be this representation of the good jaewon can be and do. bc look at jihyun, look at how confident and strong he has become, and look at how he got there, bc you saw that country mouse and gave him the time of day and helped him grow and gave him new experiences. you jaewon, you. and that shift in mindset, from jihyun representing hurt and the accident and the trauma of his brother and everything he can’t do, to being that light and refuge and everything he can do is again something that might breaks through. and the fact it has such narrative strength and satisfaction makes me hopeful that that’s what we might actually get.

#I did a rant #I’ve done a lot of rants actually they’re all just sitting in my notes bc they all got a little too much #my thoughts are a literal mess and I am still struggling to put them in all the right words #mostly bc the way jaewon is behaving and not to be too overinvolved is very reminiscent of *me* #and so watching him shut down and remove himself knowing it’s something i do is hard and frustrating #and I did a whole rant about it but I realised I need to separate myself from the character to be able to talk about it #so yeah #I really wanted to bring up jihyun tho #bc he presents as so strong in these two eps but you cannot argue against what he’s been through and the effect that would have on anyone #and try to see it from a perspective where we don’t know what jaewon is going through and just see his actions and realise how much he has #messed with jihyun again not at all on purpose but that 1000 to nothing jihyun went through from the trip to the accident and it’s aftermath #that’s a fucking lot #and it’s interesting that we talk so much about people putting themselves first and not putting up with shit #like I think of simon from young royals and how we celebrate him saying no to being willhelms secret as an act of self-respect #but bc we understand and empathise so much with what jaewon is going through it’s hard to make yourself even consider jihyun #but when you do see it from his side you realise it’s a lot for him too #and that you wouldn’t hate him or misunderstand him if he was mad at jaewon #and with *spoliers* is there only so much he can take of jaewon’s self sabotage hurting him until even he and his developed strength and #confidence is broken by it #he can only keep fighting for jaewon for so long and idk if it’s gonna be a case of jaewon coming round too little too late #but I just hope this isn’t easy which sounds mean I don’t want either of them to suffer more #but this isn’t a kiss and get back together and all is good #I think jaewon needs to see the bad he’s caused #bc it’s only by owning up to that that he can ground himself in the moment and see that he’s part of this world and can’t separate himself #from it and jihyun also needs to realise that no matter his headspace jaewon does want space and when someone is self sabotaging you still #have to listen and respect what they’re saying distance means distance and as much as you want to fight against it you can’t be responsible #for making it work #agh I need to stop rambling bc it’s so messy and complex and I just absolutely ADORE the level to which this situation has so many emotional #moving parts and how ultimately blameless they both are and how it makes it so much harder to see a way out it’s fantastic #the eighth sense

[dirt-str1der]

I dont care about majima x sagawa btw but i care a lot about their relationship regardless because i want them to have the most toxic dealings and skewed power dynamics with each other as possible and i them both to have increasingly warped perceptions of each other (worlds most incorrect uncle-nephew relationship)

#Listen to my problems #sagawas like majima chan i bought pudding for you since chewing is hard right now and majimas like (muffled) can you kill yourself . and #sagawa is like (laughs) keep up that tone and ill break your jaw again #like obviously sagawa isnt doing charity work putting majima back on his feet because majima has to pull his own weight too but over time #majima became less of an ‘investment’ and more like his hotheaded young apprentice / nephew who is really smart (sagawas very proud of him) #but also doesnt know anything good for himself because hes an idiot and sagawa needs to do everything for him sometimes or he’ll pull the #most ASININE stunts imaginable. like kid i do Good by you and you do the same for me as long as you keep your head down and run the grand. #he cannot fathom why majima wants to claw his way back into the tojo because sagawa Knows shimano and he Knows that shimano is bad news and #will definitely send majima into the jaws of death over and over and seriously what a WASTE of good talent !!! unfortunately majima is the #same type of stupid as his oath brother but it doesnt mean he wants to see the kid get himself killed (wise words from a man who got himself #killed) | and majima ... it was not difficult to start going crazy about sagawa at first sight because he just came out of a very violent #place where every touch meant more torture and pain then suddenly hes being put in the capable hands of a man whos like a fucking angel #sagawa feeds clothes and bathes him and majima cant help but act like being cared for is the worst thing thats ever happened to him theres #too much touching and hes completely dependent on sagawa who checks his weight daily and changes his bandages and cleans his leaky infected #eye and he wants nothing more than to be left alone but he cant do anything by himself and hes too devastated to be grateful. its gross !! #and whenever he inevitably breaks the hell down sagawa is always there to hold and comfort him and what the hell else can he do but seek #comfort in the only person that ‘cares’ about him when sagawa is so good at pretending ... is he pretending ? who gives a fuck anymore man #sagawas punishment and comfort all in one ... hes a means to an end .. hes majimas caretaker and his gaoler. the guy who knows everything #about him and the one who’ll use every last bit of it against him oh god wait #this is just isabelle and emma damnit damnit im gonna go read purromised neverland again

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

"He and Monica could have something together, he just won't let her in."

The X-Files Season 9 (2002) // Gregory Orr, Concerning The Book Of The Body That Is The Beloved // Mary Oliver, Red Bird // Of Monsters and Men, Sleepwalker // Paramore, Hate To See Your Heart Break // boygenius, Me & My Dog // Mary Oliver, Wild Geese // Paramore, 26

#absolute clown hours #good gosh i hate stitching screenshots with quotes ajskdndlahfsk #it always makes the words all blurry RIP #also yes i am ignoring the mytharc what of it? they're cute #listen. LISTEN. #monica is a mary oliver girlie i cannot believe otherwise #you do not have to be good!!! #like... the only reason they met was because of what happened to his son. something about that gets to me #she did not have to befriend that sad grieving singleminded cop #she CHOSE him!! she was like YES this is my bestie now nobody hurt him ever again #and there's something SO special about that #also then way their relationship asks absolutely nothing. they love each other but they won't ask for love in return #like it's THERE but it's not needed. they just love to love each other. monica chose him to give her love to #as a friend OR as whatever else it doesn't matter. MSR was put together by circumstances and fate #and continued to choose each other from there #these two chose each other from the very beginning!! going insane!! #Lu rambles #web weaving #txf #the x files #john doggett #monica reyes #john/monica #gurt look!

[boiled-dennis]

dennis finally sorta acknowledges his attraction to men and starts a relationship with this random guy using a Dennis’ Relationship Standards Checklist he created that the guy has to sign. his bpd makes him deeply attached + really vulnerable way too soon without realising it, and he starts talking about himself, but the guy is really weird and says stuff in response like “y’know, i always had an interest in psychopaths.” dennis feels uneasy about it way too late and the guy ends up ghosting him because he isnt living up to the expectations he had of being with A Crazy Person (the whole situation backed dennis into a corner and really changed his demeanour), and a month later the guy is at paddy’s and dennis yells at him to fuck off, but then dee shows up and is like “why are you yelling at my boyfriend??” fully aware that dennis had a relationship with him, but not knowing any details

#this isn't from personal experience or anything. . . #bpd dennis #i do really enjoy the idea of dennis truly thinking he wants to be seen as scary and similar to serial killers- #but the second someone else puts him in that box it makes him feel trapped and like people treat him like he's a zoo animal #i want to see more vulnerability from him but in ways where he's forced out of all the personas he has put on in order to feel safe #not in any healthy or healing kinda way. just like . #agh its hard to put into words #like how he opened up in the gang gets romantic only because the gang kept thinking an incorrect thing about him #i want to see dennis get tired of it all #i want to see the gang as a whole get kinda. tired of it eventually and theyre like. damn i want things to be slightly different #i wouldnt mind if the show ended on a weirdly low note that left everyone feeling unsatisfied and strange #people i know hate discussing media with me because i love shitty endings without closure shdjkfhsdk #(when i say shitty i dont mean an ending that was rushed or not thought through) #i think a lot about how he would feel like he cannot apply the dennis system to men and just generally be so out of his comfort zone #i want to see him be more awkward again and not know how to speak or stand because he doesn't have complete control #evil autism headcanon: the dennis system is an extension of his tendency toward scripting because he needs a preexisting path in social si #situations #and if he doesnt have an idea in his head of how he's supposed to act in each scenario he just shuts down #i'm saying that jokingly but i think it would be funny if a hypothetical person tried to fully excuse everything because His Autistic Traits #but i think dennis scripting is real #episode ideas

[mer-birdman]

hi i’m bored does anyone wanna talk about d gray man

#i reread the manga over the weekend #still need to watch hallow sometime #having some interesting feelings about the like. religious source material (now that i am 1. older and 2. know more abt jewish history) #but also like it’s neat i’m vibing i like these fucked up clerics #the brainworms are having a Time abt link as of the current arc and i cannot for the life of me put into words why #i love his vibes but also i’m like. WHY the loyalty to rip-off hitler predecessor #where is this going hoshino #what is the DEAL #also damn where is lavi huh??? boy’s milk carton worthy at this rate #also johnny is the best boy actually fight me about it #he’s the true power of friendship /hj #OKAY BUT SERIOUSLY WHAT IS THE SERIES COMMENTARY HERE ON XTIANITY AND JUDAISM AND JUST. WHAT. WHAT IS GOING ON #like the entire black order’s regalia is so xtian but they never mention jesus like once???? #i want to pick apart the religious worldbuilding in this setting So Bad #also i would die for miranda lotto fyi she’s wonderful and i adore her #the true mid-twenties experience trust me i’m 25 i can say that now #also GOD allen rly is just like. Baby. #like it’s a great way to set him apart from everyone but like. dang even the other teens are all 2-3 years older than him??? #unless lenalee’s 16 i can’t remember BUT MY POINT STANDS LIKE #UNTIL TIMOTHY SHOWS UP ALLEN IS /DISTINCTLY/ THE YOUNGEST PERSON THERE #and idk why but that strikes me as such an interesting choice #… anyways does anyone wanna chat i’m bored and my discord friends are asleep

[arundolyn]

thoughts on Reppuu II

An Attempt Was Made

the violin around the halfway point was an?? interesting choice? honestly probably the best part however unfitting. everything else.. hm. the part at 3:30 is sorta hype that was cute. but the weird brass parts and the beginning and end aren't it. yuhki tried. mixed success

i just got to the end help i had genuinely never heard it before what the fuck. was that necessary. lost points for that

#cawing #at age 6 i was born without a face #blazblueposting #i cannot express what it's lacking #the cute synth parts from the original for sure. i have no idea how to explain it but im SURE you know what i mean bc though kinda subtle #its VERY noticeable #and also the drums dont sound as bad but i mean thats all the IIs the drums are awful in all of them #and the!!!! fuck i have NO idea what that is. whatever the syncopated stuff in the bg is #most noticeable in the 'verses' #im trying so hard to figure out what the fuck that is bc it sounds JUST like. rhythmic shamisen plucking #if you get it you get it. #like someone doing percussion but on a shamisen. i sound like a fucking crazy person #anyway those are the two big things it's missing #and also its... hm. missing. heart. #so much of the charm of the original is lost through all those things that were dropped that i mentioned #AND the.... i dont know how to put it into Words. the buildup to the refrain is lacking!!!! less hype. less Bang Shishigami Energy #like its not way off base but also its not nearly as spot on as the original. the original is literally SOOOOOOOOOOO him #its genuinely perfect. immediate mental image conjured of ronin gai and him being a dumbass #SORRY ALL OF THESE TURN INTO ME BEING LIKE 'IT SUCKS HERE'S WHY' I HOPE IM NOT UPSETTING ANYONE? #i for sure need to make a tag for this huh. fhjdkhflajh #its funny i was actually like JUST talking to a friend about reppuu earlier #there is One acceptable II #music opinions with crow

[gaysindistress]

Things that I feel like would happen when you’re in a relationship with Simon Riley.

Simon Riley masterlist

1. First off he hates the word ‘boyfriend’.

Maybe it’s because he’s in his mid thirties or something but he can’t stand being called your boyfriend. He’s more than that but also not at the same time. You live together, have access to each other’s bank accounts (which is only because he hates it when you try to fight him about him giving you money), and you’re each others emergency contact. He thinks of himself as your husband. The man wears a silicone ring when he’s home and a necklace with the ring that’s totally not a wedding band when he’s working. Price has seen the chain once or twice and smirks, shooting him a knowing look but never says a word.

Simon cannot stand it when people get nosy and want to know what your relationship status is. You’re together and that’s all that matters. No one needs to know that you’re the beneficiary of his will and life insurance policy or that he’s put you on all of his accounts. No one needs to know that he buys you anything you want but has only ever bought you two rings; a thin gold band with a flower engraved on it and its twin a matching emerald ring. No one needs to know that when he gifted them to you, there were tears and promises of safety, love, and happiness whispered against feverish skin. No one needs to know that he has your name woven into his chest tattoo.

No one needs to know any of that because your relationship is between him and you only.

2. You are not some submissive little house wife. You are a strong independent woman and he prefers it that way.

I know this one goes against what most people say but hear me out on this. Simon has been independent since birth practically. He’s only had himself to count on for years. Even in the military, he’s only been able to rely himself. Sure the others watch out for him but if it came down to it, he’s the only one who’s going to get himself out alive.

The thought of someone else relying on him in that way is terrifying. He can’t even fathom what it would be like to look at another person and fully trust them in that way. Half the time he feels like he can’t even be trusted to take care of himself let alone another human. In theory a sweet docile housewife is great with the meals and clean house but not for him. He needs to know that you can hold your own. He needs to know that you can be independent and carry on without him if something happened while he was working. He needs to know that you will be okay if he doesn’t come back.

You have to be okay without him no matter how much it pains him to think about it.

Like I said before, he’s made you the beneficiary of everything so he knows you’ll be set financially but that’s not enough. He’s made Price promise to keep an eye out for you. He’s made you promise to let Price do that and you agreed because it’s Simon who’s asking but you’d tell anyone else to fuck off.

In addition to all of that, he’s installed the best security system the government has to offer in your house. You have a very expensive and large safe in your shared closet that he’s instructed you to only open if you feel unsafe. While you might not like it, you agree to go shooting with him so he can sleep at night knowing that you could protect yourself if he’s not home. He’s gone as far as to make sure you have all of the licenses and certificates that are needed to legally own firearms in the UK.

He’s not leaving any opportunity for you to be vulnerable or have your ‘safety checks’, as he calls them, taken away.

3. Simon Riley is a godless man…until he meets you.

Now this is entirely my own headcannon with no evidence to support it so bear with me.

Simon had a shitty childhood where his mom would pray to a god who never listened and his dad would shout verses at him when he was drunk. God was a mythical figure that he was told stories off with nothing to show for it. He did believe at one point but then his dad never got better, his mom wore bruises of every shade, and his brother found comfort in drugs.

He found himself praying when he was being tortured by the Mexican cartel. Between the flashbacks of his abusive past, he prayed to a god who had failed him so many times before to help him. He prayed again as he dug himself out of that Texas grave with the major’s jaw bone. He wailed his prayers when he found his family executed after Sparks tried to kill him.

After that he deemed himself a Godless man. Years of praying had passed with nothing. This god had decided that Simon was not worthy of a miracle so why would he continue to worship him?

That was until he met you. He finds himself praying before every mission, every time he has to leave you, every time he’s on his way home, and just about any other time he thinks of you. He doesn’t know what exactly he’s praying for other than for you to be there when he gets back.

He whispers his prayers to an absent god against your skin as he worships your body, soul, and heart. He promises to be devoted to you until his last breath and vows to find you again in whatever afterlife awaits you. He pledges to find solace in you and only you when his haunting nightmares return. He makes an oath to your heart that it will never weather another storm alone again for his will take whatever beating that comes your way. He shows you that he will love you in the same manner as a Hozier song; putting you above all else because you have become his religion, his faith, his beliefs, his life.

You have become all that he is and he thanks the god he once believed in for you. He prays again but to you, his heart, his love, and his beacon through the enteral storm of life.

#simon riley x you #simon ghost x reader #simon riley x female reader #simon riley imagine #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley #simon riley #ghost imagine #ghost call of duty #ghost x reader #ghost cod #ghost #ghost x female reader