#i personally like to not be doing things constantly at all times. it stresses me out

[egophiliac]

Hi there! I really love your comics and how expressive they are. How do you go about making the characters in your comic so expressive?

thank you! 💚💜💚 I am REALLY bad at explaining things, so my apologies if this doesn't make a lot of sense, but maybe there's something helpful in here somewhere. :')

1. warm up! drawing is a physical activity, after all! so if I'm planning on sitting down and drawing for a while, I usually start off by taking a couple of minutes to doodle a bunch of circles and lines and random shapes, just to get my drawing arm goin' again and get back into the physical groove. just stuff like this:

and just do that for however long you feel like! you can kind of feel when your arm starts to loosen up and your strokes get more confident. it makes it a lot easier to get those swoopy big lines and gestures!

2. play around with how you use your lines! paying attention to the shapes that they're making will change a lot about how much force and life your drawing feels like it has. (no way is better than another, it just depends on what effect you're going for and how it looks as part of the larger whole.)

and you can also use lines against each other to get different vibes:

it's not really a matter of "you need to make sure all your lines are always doing this all the time", it's more like...being aware of it, and getting that into the general thrust of a pose, if that makes sense? like a lot of smaller lines of action, beyond the big one that goes through the spine.

(just gonna use my own art as examples, apologies)

if you have a good foundation of tension, then all of the little bumps and contours of a character's details won't get in the way of it, and it'll still come through.

and don't forget about negative space either! the spaces between things have their own interesting shapes too!

I don't mean this to come off as, like, all these extra things that you need to be constantly thinking about and stressing over. more like...just try different stuff and then see how it works and how it changes the feeling! if you find a good shape, see if you can exaggerate it and make it more interesting, and how that affects things! angles and shapes are a LOT of fun to experiment and mess around with, especially when you're going more cartoony. :D

3. acting!

just...spending a little time to think about what the characters are actually doing! (aka the "figuring out what everyone is doing with their hands" bit.) this is more a personal preference, but especially in multi-panel comics, I like to have them be in the middle of doing stuff. not just big actions, but smaller things -- like even just how they're sitting or standing -- so that it feels like we're looking in on the middle of a scene, instead of a couple of characters just standing around neutrally and staring straight ahead while talking at each other.

this probably sounds really obvious, but it is one of the most fun parts for me! I love trying to find some little action or something that they can be involved in, especially if it's relevant to their character or adds an extra joke. (for some reason this usually involves me being mean to Sebek) (I'm sorry)

it doesn't need to be everyone Always! Doing! Something! all the time, especially if starts becoming distracting (sometimes they do actually need to just be standing around neutrally and staring straight ahead, especially if there's a bigger action going on that you want the audience to focus on instead). but even just figuring out some kind of non-neutral pose for them to be in can add a lot and make it feel less generic!

3. thumbnailing!

this is, again, very much a personal preference; unfortunately, every artist really is different, and we all have different processes that work better for us. so I can only speak to my personal experience! but I find what helps is to start REALLY rough -- not so much as in messy, as in not trying to start right into actually drawing everything out. like, literally just starting with stick figures and :O faces.

it probably doesn't sound relevant when talking about Drawing Expressively, but I find it's really, really helpful to have already figured out what everyone should be doing (acting!) and what the overall general layout and flow of things should be, before getting into the actual meat of drawing the characters. like having a sketch for the sketch!

(good compositional flow is something I struggle with, and text layout especially, so this stage also helps a LOT with making sure things are fitting where I want them and staying consistent/not breaking screen direction/etc.)

then after that, I can go ahead and focus on getting those Shapes and Lines and Angles and all that, without having to think too much about the layout or where things should go!

(of course, the downside of that is that my thumbnails are usually way better than my actual drawings, alas alas.)

4. this is more philosophical, but...give yourself some slack. the stress of Making Things Look Good is, ironically, often the biggest problem. (see: thumbnails looking better than the actual drawings.) so...let yourself draw shittier and without regards to accuracy. make things just for yourself without thinking about posting or showing them to anyone else. draw stupid faces and wrong proportions because they feel better that way. focus on what's fun and not on getting a perfect end result. "draw expressively, not well", as they say -- you can always tighten up things like proportions and details later, if you really want to.

that's all WAY easier said than done -- god knows I haven't really managed it -- but even just aiming for that attitude really, REALLY helps. if your lines are confident, they'll look a lot more alive and expressive than lines that are exactly technically precise but have no rhythm in them. (this is why tracing photographs tends to look so weirdly stiff and unrealistic, by the way -- even if you're drawing realistically, you usually need to exaggerate and stylize a little bit so it doesn't look lifeless.) it's a balance between caring about what you draw, but also being willing to let things go a little bit.

↑ I hope some of this helps! I don't know if any of this was actually what you had in mind, let alone much of it actually made sense outside of my head. :') but hopefully you (or other people) will be able to get something out of it!

#art #twisted wonderland #(not really related but since that's what the examples are) #i'm so sorry most of my art advice boils down to 'SHAPES ARE FUN' #(they are though)

[dazednmatthews]

could you write stressed college gf headcanons for chris too 👉👈 matt's are so damn cute

chris x stressed college!gf headcanons:

-something about chris you’ve noticed since you’ve been together is that he has a habit of feeding off peoples energies, but possibly in the worst way

-so when finals come around and you’re an anxious, stressed mess, so is he

-and because of that, he’s constantly looking up the material you have to study and telling you random facts about it in hopes that it helps in anyway

-“hey babe,” he says while you sit as his computer desk, highlighting things in your notes. “yeah?” you say, not tearing your gaze away from your notebook. “did you know that 95% of the ocean is still unexplored?” you do glance at him that time, eyebrows furrowed. “yes i did. why do you mention it?” “well i’ve just been reading about marine science for a couple hours and that’s just fucking insane to me”

-it never really adds anything to your review, but it makes you smile regardless at how hard he’s trying

-his support is absolutely unwavering, so as soon as you start to doubt yourself or talk down to yourself, he’s there to put a full stop to that shit

-“i’m never gonna fucking pass,” you flop back in his bed, blowing a frustrated breath out. “i can’t remember any of this shit and it won’t matter how long i spent studying because i’m gonna get in the exam room and absolutely choke-”

-“stop talking about yourself like that.” he’d cut you off. “you’ve been working nonstop to pass this test and you’re like the smart person i’ve ever met. i don’t wanna hear any of that. the more you say it, the more you’ll believe it and it’s just not fucking true. understood?”

-it makes your heart do backflips

-i think he’d be the type to pack you a big of snacks or a meal for days he knows you’re gonna be in the library all day studying

-you’d come up to the living room with your bag slung over your shoulder and your hair still wet from the shower and place a kiss on his cheek as you leave. “i’m going to study, baby. i’ll probably be back late.”

-“thats fine, ma. don’t stress yourself out too much.” he’d pause the show he was watching and turn in his seat on the couch slightly. “i made you some food to take with you. make sure you eat it, i worked hard on that.”

-“chris, this is so sweet. you’d didn’t have to do this.”

-he’d give you a strange look. “why wouldn’t i? i need my girl to be taken care of. plus i knew you would ignore me if i told you to eat. shit is so annoying.” he’d roll his eyes while you shrug.

-“oh fuck off. sometimes i just forget.”

-he would also help you study, using all the guides you’ve done. he’s soooo the type of bf to give a kiss for every right answer too. it keeps you motivated and keeps him happy. kissing you is his favorite thing to do after all.

-when you would get so stressed and anxious about failing you would cry, his heart would actually break

-you would be on like hour six straight with no breaks and he would close your books, starting to put everything away

-“chris, what the fuck are you doing! i have so much more to do.”

-“no. you’re driving yourself crazy and it’s not good for you. you’re done for tonight. i’m gonna run you a bath and then we’ll watch a movie.”

-you’d pretend to be mad but actually be so grateful he could see you were close to breaking down. to be loved is to be known

-chris goes with you in the morning and waits for you in the car while you take your test

-he’s waiting for you outside on the hood of your car when you come out, wringing his hands nervously to hear how you did

-when he sees the sad look on your face he instantly goes to grab you and make you feel better

-but when you told him that you passed w flying colors he is so proud of you he nearly cried.

-“yes! that’s my girl! i knew you could do it, baby. my girlfriend, the scholar.” and he’s peppering kisses all over your face while hugging you tightly

-you soak in the moment with a warm heart because you have the best boyfriend in the world and it baffles you just how much he believes in you. you are so in love with him

-and he loves you exactly the same

TAGS:

@sturnioloco @peachmels @sugrhigh @tastesousweet @rootbeerworshiper @hollandsangel @sturnolio-luvs @mattsobvimyfav @misscocodiorsblog @ilovechrisssturniolo @pepsiboyy @braindead4l @mxqdii @fawnchives @hearts4chriss @certifiednatelover @nmegamett20 @imaslut4kehlani @dominicfikue @wovenribbons @streamermattsgf @pr1ncessmatt @pinksturniolo @yourfavoritefangirl @nickmillersn1gf @freshxsturniolo @sturniolobltch @mattspolitank @lookingformyromeo @alorsxsturn @imwetforyourmom @kiarastromboli @sleepysturnss @mattscoquette @sturncakez @inkyray @simply-a-simper @lanas-doll @wh0resstuff @hypnotizedsturn @riowritesitall @kitaysworld @h3arts4harry @fikefries @conspiracy-ash @matty-bear @always-reading @thehighgrounds

#matt sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #christopher sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #nick sturniolo #chris sturniolo #sturniolo edit #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo imagine #chris sturniolo texts #chris sturniolo headcanon #chris sturniolo fanfic #christopher sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo headcanon #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo imagine #matthew sturniolo #sturniolo x reader

[xurory]

REDAMANCY

summary. he will always have your arms to come home to whenever things get too overwhelming.

pairings. blade, dan heng x fem!reader

cc. mild cursing . blade barely talked because i said so . fluff :3 . not proofread

there isn't a time where BLADE is not welcome in your arms, and he's well aware of that. after every stressful day, or coming back from missions that separated him from your for far too long, blade never forgets to melt in beneath your gentle caresses as you caged him in your arms, with his own snaking around your waist, resting the side of his face against your chest, quietly listening to the sound of your heart beating — a sound that constantly reassures your lover that you were there, with him, and that you are safe.

you leaned on against the railing of the balcony in your room, silently gazing upon the ethereal moon that no one could compare to. admiring the glowing ball in the sky was one of the few things you did to feed off your boredom every time you're left alone with nobody to talk to, especially at night, quite obviously because the moon doesn't really appear during the morning, and you wouldn't even dare glance at the sun. the sound of your door creaking open alerted you, who in aeons was at your house at this time of nigh- oh, it's blade.

"fuck, you scared me," said you, gaze softening at the sight of blade in front of you—finally back after two weeks of being away. "welcome back, did everything go well? are you okay?" you interrogated, stepping closer to the man before you.

"it went... accordingly." he replied, hearing your sigh of relief.

saying blade looked exhausted was an understatement, he looked beyond tired, as if he hadn't had a wink of sleep for so long. you pat his shoulder, guiding him to your bed. "do you want some water? hold on, let me— oh." he cuts your talking off by the way he pulled you into a hug, and with how tight he was holding you right now, you needed no other explanation to know that he needed this, badly.

your left arm went on his back to gently pat it as your other hand found it's way to his hair, ruffling his soft locks. you let him just melt into you for as long as he wanted, you weren't the type to pull away first, and you never will be. maybe.. just maybe, something went wrong during his mission with kafka, that it caused him to be this clingy. not that you were complaining—you loved holding him.

blade was never the type of person to initiate acts of affection. meaning, most of the time you were the one hugging and kissing him first, and he did his best to return the gesture, just to make you happy. your back rested against the headboard, knowing that you two would be stuck like this for a very long time, approximately until dawn.

"wanna lay down? make yourself more comfortable." you asked in a hushed tone, not too loud, but not too quiet either. he did as he was asked an laid beside you comfortably, arms still wrapped around your middle as side of his head found its way back to your chest. your hand rested against his head, caressing it with such tenderness he craved for. "thank you, for coming back to me." you whispered, kissing the top of his head.

he hummed back, acknowledging your love. and that was enough, you didn't want to force him to talk. all that mattered was he came back to you in one piece. remaining the man you loved.

being a part of the nameless sure was fun, they brought out the best of your smiles. unlike DAN HENG, who wore the exact same stoic expression almost every day. but still, he atleast showed some signs that he appreciated your presence. but behind closed doors, he's a leech that you can never ever get off of you.

"You guys need to stop teasing the poor guy. Anyway, where is he anyway?" You questioned march, referring to the dark haired guy that disappeared minutes ago. "probably in his room, where else?" march giggled. stelle had gone to mess around with pom-pom who was merely minding her own business near himeko on the couch, drinking her precious coffee.

you smiled to march before heading off to your lover's room, knocking gently at his door and then peeking your head to check if he was in. your gaze fell on him who was taking care of stuff as he sat in front of his desk. "you disappeared back there, what's up?"

"just wasn't in the mood." you nodded, respecting his decisions. you sat yourself down on the side of his bead, carefully observing the room in case something has changed.

a wave of silence crashed in between the two of you, your back meeting his soft comforter. soon enough, he joined you in bed and left whatever he was working on, arms wrapping around you just right, and resting his head against your shoulder. "tired?" he murmured in reply, rubbing your sides in a circular motion, which slightly tickled you.

you pulled away, leaving him confused just before you cupped his cheeks and kissed him on the lips. the intimate moment laster for another minute before you two had to catch your breath, with you giggling, looking as pretty as ever. he could never have enough of the way you looked gorgeous, utterly beautiful.

for each moment you took away his breath, he fell in love with you all over again, just like the very first time your eyes met his when himeko and welt introduced you as the new addition to the astral express crew.

"ugh, i love you soooo much." you dragged the vowel on your tongue, booping his nose out of nowhere. and after what felt so long, you finally captured him back into your arms, just like he wanted.

from xumi ; i want these two to choke me

#>ᴗ< — xu writes ´ˎ˗ #honkai star rail x reader #blade x reader #dan heng x reader #hsr fluff #hsr x reader #blade x you #dan heng x you #hsr x you #fem reader #x reader

[umbra-mayhem]

OCD!Simon "Ghost" Riley

I have ocd and I can't stop thinking about Simon Riley, so I'm making him suffer like me :/

(tw: SH)

He'll lay in bed for hours analyzing and scrutinizing every action he took during the last op. False memories plague him, his mind trying to convince him that he killed that kid instead of saving her or that the enemy he shot was actually a civilian or one of his own. It's especially difficult when he has vivid nightmares about doing horrible things. He'll wake up and struggle to tell if what he remembers is a dream or something he actually did.

He doesn't speak much. Not because he doesn't have a lot to say, but because he overanalyzes and obsesses over anything that comes out of his mouth. He's so worried about hurting people with his words or saying the wrong thing, so one of his compulsions is to just avoid speaking unless absolutely necessary.

His teammates probably assume that he wears gloves all the time because he doesn't like germs, but that isn't it. Rather, he's convinced that he himself is morally tainted and that anything or anyone he touches will become tainted as well. It takes a long time for Ghost to believe that he won't ruin Soap by touching him with his bare hands.

He's also afraid to touch his teammates because he is convinced that any touch he gives will hurt the other person, regardless of if he wants to hurt them or not. So fighting out on the field isn't a problem. But any casual, friendly, romantic, or sexual touch that he gives is stressful and causes him to obsess and overanalyze. So he tends to avoid it. Which especially becomes a problem when he meets Soap and wants to touch that man constantly.

Being touched is difficult for Ghost too. Again, it doesn't really bother him in fights; he's a bit too preoccupied with not dying. But those casual, friendly, romantic, and sexual touches...those are harder. For a long time, Soap thought Ghost was touch averse. But eventually he realizes (either through Ghost telling him or just through astute observation) that Ghost needs everything mirrored. Once he begins balancing the touches he gives on both sides of Ghost's body, Soap discovers that the man is desperate for contact. He just needs it to be even.

Ghost has also trained himself to be an ambidextrous fighter. He can handle all of his weapons skillfully with either hand. He doesn't favor a side when he fights. This is partly to ensure his need for things to be even. But he's also convinced that if his strength or skill becomes unbalanced, he will not fight effectively and will die. He'll even go so far as to try to mirror the injuries he gets on ops just to make sure his body stays balanced, even though that ultimately weakens him overall.

#his themes are mostly moral ocd #harm ocd #and just right ocd #he has both physical and mental compulsions #lots of mental review and avoidance #cod #call of duty #simon riley #simon ghost riley #ghost #johnny soap mactavish #ghoap #cod headcanons #goose is honking

[july-19th-club]

seriously have been thinking about this all night long. call me autistic but the fact that 90% of workplaces the point is not to get your work done and then be done doing it but to instead perform an elaborate social dance in which you find something to do even when you're done doing everything you need to do in order to show your fellow workers that you, too, are Working . because you are at Work . disgusting why cant we all agree that if there is no work immediately to be done. we just dont do anything

#i personally like to not be doing things constantly at all times. it stresses me out #i know there are ppl who thrive on cosntant activity #but me i like to chill out. #and the problem then becomes that i only ACTIVELY remember to do work and Find More Work To Do when im stressed #at the thought that others might want to see me working #if im ever relaxed i just dont look for stuff to do #catch 22 of modern work culture which permeates even ostensibly noncapitalist structures like public libraries #for instance: will it really kill anybody if the books get shelved by me now after a very busy day? #or shelved tomorrow morning by. well probably me since i'll be the one at the desk #not in the slightest #but it was work that wasnt being immediately done by me. therefore it was incorrect behavior #that i failed to identify because my instinct is to relax when not immediately presented with a Situation #this got me labeled as 'having no initiative' by my dad from a very early age #and even as an adult i still feel like im a child with no initiative

[soldier-poet-king]

I have too many emotions in too quick a succession with periods of severe emptiness in between I just. I don't have time to PROCESS any of them. It's like I've been incurring an emotional 'debt' for 27 years.

#this is insane ik as the hyperemotional 24/7 guy but also like #all the work stuff. the move stuff. #r&g last night. time change giving me mood swings. PATHFINDER TONIGHT WAS INSANE #soooo good and such fun rp #but also OUCH MY EMOTIONS. i wouldn't trade it for the world but i sure am experiencing SMTHN #given the whole manipulative mentor people pleasing sense of self woth thing #PLUS A COOL GF??? I WANT A COOL GF #and then just this last bit of an astarion fic that made me cry #in terms of just. emptiness. gentleness. how do you move on. how do you build a life #when you didn't expect there to be an after? #how do you free yourself when everything you are was shaped by that person #how do i free myself when everything i am was shaped by my parents #and its just constantly this bitter ache and anger #the upcoming move its like. im in the same city how can i get a clean break #i feel guilty for wanting it but also. fuck i need it #how can i build a life for myself. yknow? #anyway. im uhhh. a lil fragile. a lot stressed abt work stuff. joints been hurting a lot lately too. #i am so hungry. ever hungry. for the unnamed thing. #the duality of fran #anyway. shits wild and that is both good and bad and also neither??? maybe??? #i am trying to find meaning and purpose in it all. or to create it. #i am a skittish stray but i am also kissing you all gently on the forehead. idk. i can be both things at once maybe

[skeletons-in-ur-closet]

i AM a violent dog i DO know why i bite

#ok to rb #vent in the tags its a lot u dont have to read #nah but ive been so angry lately #im constantly fighting w my mom and brother but...like im justified every single time #its just like...ive always been the scapegoat of my family (except to my dad) but now hes dead and my mom n brother have been targeting me+ #nonstop. literally 24/7 #for example my mom has not bothered to check on me ONCE since it happened...yet shes constantly treating me like a therapist + #and she always comforts/checks in on my older brother AND she critcizes me for how im handling things or how 'long' everythings taking #all the while they dont lift a fucking FINGER to help me with anything and im doing everythings on my own #while going to school and working full time....to pay THEIR BILLS #idk it just feels like im so fucking alone and yet they just continue to rag on me when im literally doing my fucking best #im not allowed to greive bc im too busy doing their fucking work all while they criticize how i do their work...FOR THEM.... #god forbid im not as talkative as usual bc im stressed (i wonder why) and im the worst person on the planet #literally i will b sitting in silence in my room and theyll find something to make fun of me for or get mad at

[meme-loving-stuck]

genuine question i know its normal to not remember your exact verbatim responses to things, but is it common to genuinely not fucking remember most of what you say to people in your day-to-day?

like to not remember if you were being serious or sarcastic or funny and what you even said? just a few hours ago?? how many people get that

#BLOGGING LOUDLY #im not trying to like remember details for an argument i just thought about one thing and then #like #i realized i couldnt remember. like i am definitely extremely stressed in social situations and putting on a 'façade' i guess #but doesnt everyone do that? like i have literally always done so #and its never caused me to like. forget which 'me' i was and what 'that me' was saying through the day #which is whats happening a lot now #i always try to be a bit mindful of what i say i just ?????? most days i cant remember at all #i have to constantly write things down #but again thats normal... stuff like tasks or times to do things #i feel like now i should make note of 'HOW AND WHAT I SAID TO [PERSON NAME] WHEN INTERACTING ON THIS DAY' for everyone

[bare1ythere]

Having lots of thoughts about how sensitive I am to others' opinions on my hyperfixation

#shut up me #UGH. I really just cant stomach seeing people disliking the characters/stories that I love or are important to me #not in the sense that it annoys me or makes me mad or anything like that #It just makes me feel like shit! #and I think a big reason why is that im scared to be ''wrong'' #im worried that liking the things I like (even when harmless) makes me a horrible person #and that anyone who disagrees with me automatically hates me or thinks less of me #even when I don't? feel this way about people who disagree with me??? #Its why I dont talk about things or characters I dislike in dr (other than the obvious egregious shit) on my sideblog #I dont want anyone who Likes those things to see it feel the way I feel ALL THE TIME. #Like okay I know v3's ending and mastermind reveal was contentious ive known this FOREVER and I know and can understand why #but it just makes me feel! so bad! when people dislike it #theyre so so allowed to I just dont know what to dooo #to a certain extent I just want to drown myself in fun and positivity because im just so tired of constantly feeling guilty and anxious #but i think its doing more harm to me in the long run #because I cant handle any negativity even when its warranted #but again. im just so tired of feeling anxious and guilty all the time for no reason at all #idk how to handle this im just. augh #Polls on my dash that are all in good fun but are stressing me out because I cant handle this stuff like a normal person )b #maybe delete later

[scarletcomet]

i feel like I'm gonna cry. not for any particular reason other than *gestures vaguely*

#and i don't really cry that often other than sometimes at movies/tv #i think if a normal person experienced the thoughts and feelings i have constantly they would cry a lot #that's why i've always hated ppl calling me sensitive if i were to cry #anyways #i'm just super stressed about school #have a huge programminh assignment due wednesday where the only instruction we were given was to learn at least 1 new language or framework #on our own. so i've had to like teach myself all this shit and i have no idea what i'm doing #i have astrophysics hw due last night i need to submit by tuesday and i have no idea what's going on in that class #i have a huge exam on wednesday where we aren't allowed a notecard or anything and i can't remember things #and i have another exam on thursday that i need to do super well on because i did badly on the last one #and i don't really know what's going on in that class either #i feel like i just don't have enough time to do all the things i need to do even though i've been working nonstop #on friday i was literally working on my code for that big assignment until 2 am #as of rn you can register and login to my shopping site #if youre logged in you can then view items and add items and log out #you can click to just view 1 item and delete items (even if they're not yours oops) #currently trying to get update item to work (and failing miserably) #said on my rubric (which i made before i knew anything about the frameworks i chose to learn) #that you would be able to leave comments on items and view and add money to your account #oh and i also got to make it so you can actually buy an item #i also allocated 20 points towards a creative portion which is just doing a lot of additional stuff i didnt specify #i have so much to do and so little time #i'm using React (a js framework) for the frontend and Laravel (a php framework) for the backend and like none of the TAs know laravel rip #the TAs are practically useless anyway and the prof doesn't have any office hours #panicking #so much to do #i haven't started studying for either of my exams this week #and i don't even go to lectures for one of the classes and we're still learning new stuff on tuesday #i need to not sleep but i get so sleepy #im so bad at focusing in my apt but the library closes at midnight and is only open 24hrs during reading and finals week

[daenerys-targaryen]

tried opening up to my mom about feeling behind in life and she said maybe I should plan on this being my last year living with her 🥴

#leah rambles #no offense but I think me living by myself could be the worst for my mental health #because then I’ll REALLY be alone #and I LOVE my alone time but it’s also… recently it’s not been good #she also suggested seeing a counselor which I have been thinking about #because ever since I was 8 years old it’s felt like the entire world is crushing me #and I really do feel like I’m so behind and that I’m just getting more and more insane with each passing day #and not in the Harley Quinn I’m So EdGy way just like…. #just… the overwhelming sense of greif and anguish I feel for no fucking reason at all times #it’s suffocating and it’s like?? for what??? for WHAT!!! #the loneliness and the amount of pressure I put on myself #and constantly wanting to… just be someone else lol #uuuuugh ok anyways #i haven’t been taking my meds like I should have and losing weight/ sleeping so much should have been an indicator that Things Aren’t Well #fell behind all my classmates and I ended up here #anyways FUCK this is me trying cause it hits too close #I’m just overwhelmed and stressed and don’t want to do this anymore lol #like my best friend is living with her bf and my other friend is pregnant and my other friend is a full blown teacher and I’m: 🧍🏼‍♀️ #i know life isn’t a race but god!!! it really feels like it is!! #personal #oomf

[cherrysnax]

#how do I make the self loathing n depression stop. i feel like I’m drowning n like I’m pulling my loved ones down with me #I’m trying really hard to be a person but it feels like ky progress is gone. i have a hard time standing up for too long so it’s rlly hard #cooking for myself even though one of my goals was to cook more. i keep forgetting what day/month it is #i feel like I’m so far away and everyone is just . millions of miles away from me #i just. want living to not feel like a chore. i have so many things I look foreword to #n I don’t want to quit on myself #and part of me thinks it’s the stress from our constantly sinking money sitch due to comic deadlines — that are only here to help motivate #the world won’t end if we don’t make them. i think that’s something we forget #but yeah I’m worried abt my mom and my health is declining I’m always dizzy and forgetful b I have problems holding convos #and I’m tired all the time and my libido is gone and it’s either my depression or my antidepressants but I’m worried abt it #idk what if I’m dying. my family can’t afford me dying. and I don’t want to cut a life short that has so much potential #but golly gee has my mental health not gotten the memo. i wanna do things for the ones I love but mh body seems to be shutting down #i want to be a good friend or lover or child or adult but I mostly feel like I’m stuck a few years back #but I will be okay. i will learn how to navigate my newfound issues. make sure to go outside despite my general adversion to it #learn to let myself feel freely about the present. while also think past tommorow uh positively #if I give up on myself what more do I have?

[szczylpierdolony]

.

#im so stressed out im so tired ive done nothing and i need to start writing the essays #i have 3 to do plus there are like 6 exams most of which have a lot shit to remember plus im having a psychology short test #and the results of another short test next week and i need to start this economy assignment #and im late almost two weeks with a russian assignment and i want to cry #my meds arent working so im a mess and i stopped taking them bc they give me nightmares but now im having withdrawal and my heart is being #weird and i want to cry i need to kill myself i need to call my doctor #and maybe ask her abt that thing that makes you not have to take all your exams if youre mentally ill #but i feel bad asking for it like its not like im really sick and it feels like im just constantly lying #and she already signed the crap that makes me not have to go to pe thankfully #so i cant go and ask her abt this too like whatever worst case i fail everything and rip my guts out and die #i dont remember when i showered last time and im just so stressed out and i cant do anything productive #i havent been drawing or learning or revising or even doing my reading #speaking of which i have like 300 pages for next week maybe more and i cant take this anymore i need to die #also i think my parents would get mad at me if i said i cant wrote all my exams #bc whatever im not really sick im just lazy and annoying and a bad person and i wish i could get hit by a car so bad i need my head to be #crushed and my brain to get wplattered across the street #also im so gross and sweaty i hate myself sm and i feel so guilty over everything all the time #and them i go to therapy and i cant talk abt anything bc i hate talking abt my feelings its gross and i dont deserve it #i wish there was easy access to guns here suicide would be so easy jesus #and im having insane mood swings again i need to get off social media even tumblr it just makes me feel like shit abt myself #tw suicide mention

[yousaytomato]

I feel like even companies that try to be really accessible always miss the mark when it comes to my particular brand of brain worms

What would honestly be ideal for me, is a short POV video, showing someone entering the location, using whatever the service may be, and then leaving again

Colour coded maps or "apps that make it easy" or exhaustive FAQs, are all a great start, and I'm sure for most people they're enough !

But I want to know where the entrance and exit are and what they look like, where do I head after that, if I have to interact with a form of technology how exactly do I do that, if I have to talk to someone what information do they need from me, what are they going to ask?

Like, I always figure these things out, and it's never that difficult, and I'm able to do them in a way that's normal. I've also gotten a lot better at saying - I've never done this before! Sorry if I'm doing it wrong or slowly! - and people are always nice

But so much of my anxiety comes from the unknown, idk...

#woes of emily #its 3am idk #I'm not anxious about anything in particular rn. but i have been recently #im thinking about the local library that talks about how accessible they are on the website constantly #but all they really had for me was a colour coded map - just abstract shapes #i wasn't even sure what floor it was on!! because it was so vague!! #or how much of the floor it takes up! (i still dont know that one) #i wasn't even sure where the entrance was!! #also thinking about the getting the bus recently and they kept talking about their really easy app #and all you do it scan it! #but no info on where the scanner is actually located. or how long it takes #or how to position your phone. and whether you need to tell the driver you're scanning something #and again. i figure these things out and it's fine! #and for most people these things are not stressful #but for me. these things are very stressful!!! #and i hate that they can't be solved by research or time. only exposure #and sometimes i have a friend i can ask 100 questions to. but sometimes i dont! #and also. I'd rather avoid that. it's embarrassing and annoying! #man i feel like i havent made a deeply personal post like this in ages #it's been a weird day. i watched grown/ups 2

[yelloworangesoda]

this got away from me

#i wish i was a rich pretty guy or something but instead im a regular looking regular guy with parents that earn regular money #i was born to be one of those annoying bratty rich kids who dont work ever. that should be me #or something. i complain about work constantly but guys i do not want to go to school. i dont. i dont. i dont i dont. i dont i dont and i #dont know what to do about it. its spring. ive got like a month to figure out how im getting out of this #im not doing this i cannot do this. i cant i cant i cant. im so stressed i can tell im so stressed bc im getting acne and my eczema is awfu #its only a matter of time before i break out in hives or some shit i cant do it i cant do it. i cant. i cant #god everything is really getting to me. i cant i dont have a place here i dont i have no purpose in life and everyone just wants me to act #like. thats not true bc um. well! haha what are you gonna do! haha its fine. keep moving forward. ignore your anxiety and the fact that #everything makes you miserable constantly. and even the things that make you happy make you miserable. ignore that #go to college. normal ppl go to college :) no you want to sleep all day because youre not doing anything. which is a personal failure. #you should instead do something that makes you miserable. thatll fix it. dont kill yourself thats stupid. you have so much to live for! lik #um. well youre supposed to live. so. ignore yknow everything in the world and push forward. bc it will get better! once um. #um. yknow. you graduate in 8 years? be a dentist…. um bc. you like teeth. and it makes money. and well you need the money! youre going to #college!!!! you need that money to pay for it after all. dont think about it dont think about it dont think about it dont think about it #its okay we’ll do everything we can to make it cheaper. to do the thing you dont want to do at all even a little bit. no dont kill yourself #you have so much to live for! a career in something youve never been interested in! or yknow a different career youre not interested in #i dont want to kill myself!!! i dont want to kill myself i want something to fucking live for!!!!!! a want a life that doesnt make me feel #like i have to kill myself!!!!!!!!!! #simons spouting #vent :( #suicide //

[deityofhearts]

rn I’m getting through life by romanticizing the idea of me living in a bigger city (not like. new york sized but like just one of our bigger neighboring cities) and working as a librarian or library assistant there or something and having a quiet simply life and a regular routine that I go about

#deity dialogue #or like working at a book store #idk in my head it’s a simply cozy life it’s nothing big or special but it’s nice and comforting to me #I wear silly little outfits I go to nice shops in my spare time then I return home to sit in my room with fluffy and draw #that’s my dream #and I have enough money to live comfortably god #idk I fluctuate on things like #I do not wanna live where I live now like the white county I don’t wanna be here #but idk where else I’d go in the world like idk where to travel or where else to live #so I’d probably still be in the south and still close to where I live now but about an hour or so out of the way which isn’t too far #there’s more to do where I wanna live there’s more places to work more places to go for funsies more places to live etc #where I live at is just. I’m sorry it’s shit the whole area sucks as do the surrounding areas there’s nothinggggg #I don’t want to live here all my life I’m already miserable enough I don’t wanna be even more miserable by never leaving #and yeah the other place isn’t that far away but maybe I’d be happier there? in a place with more to do more people to meet etc etc #idk #I also am aware it would cost more but everything is already expensive may as well try somehow #if I can manage to save money and get a job in that city somehow then I could start saving more and then my roommates and I could move there #idk just agh. ideally I’d live somewhere even farther even more interesting and lively but again idk where I’d even go and I know my #roommates wouldn’t wanna go much farther than where we already have talked about for their own reasons #but I’m not someone who can live alone just too much fear and paranoia. my ideal living situation is to live with other people and we’re all #in equal standing and like have equal responsibilities and pay and manage everything equally which is what my roommates and I plan #those two would be able to live on their own fine and I envy that I’m just too anxious to be alone plus just. I can’t conceive being alone #I would be too lonely and depressed lmao I like having another persons presence ya know? #anyways idk why I’m talking so much in the tags but like I always do #I just want to live somewhere where I’ll be happy with people I like and working a job that doesn’t make me wanna kms and have enough money #to where I’m not constantly stressed about everything and can maybe even afford nice little things #it jsut feels like asking for any of that much less all of it is asking too much :( #I’m hashtag depressed about being alive