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admutual · 4 years

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any hayley or steve childhood headcanons hell add stan if thats ok!!

oo !!

hayley ones:

hayley was always bringing weird animals inside and trying to convince stan and francine to let her keep them. multiple instances of her running inside, covered in dirt, and holding a garter snake begging ‘please please can we keep her??’ while steve screams in terror.

that hc i mentioned of francine always standing up for the other kids ,, hayley inherited that trait. my god she was The Most protective kid during her school years, she absolutely refused to let anyone get walked over when she knew they didn’t deserve it.

hayley was a wolf girl growing up,, change my mind. and black wolves were always her fave.

hayley definitely read animorphs growing up. those books shaped her and her fave character was cassie,,, also once she got more comfortable with living with roger she bullied him for not looking as cool as an andalite or a hork-bajir.

hayley went through an emo phase during her middle and high school years. she tried really hard to get an emo fringe, she was always blasting mcr and the used and three days grace, and her first job was at a hot topic.

hayley and stan were obviously tight-knit buds back in the day. like ,, she’d set up tea parties for them in the backyard, going out to movies was almost a weekly activity for the two of them, they were always planning picnics together,, they were really close. also every time they went to familyland together, hayley was always trying to drag him along with her to the more Extreme rides. francine kept telling her she’d go since she knew stan wasn’t the biggest fan of those rides like she was, but hayley kept insisting and it’d always end with stan near traumatized. big cia man goes on scary missions daily but he can’t handle a little roller coaster.

hayley’s hair was . pretty often a Mess when she was young. it was staticky, always sticking up at some angle, she often got too excited that she never took the time to comb out her hair in the mornings. plus it’s always been a habit of hers to play with her hair whenever she gets too excited or nervous, so even if she got it all straightened out it’d still turn into a mess by the end of the day.

hayley was always covered in scrapes and bruises. there was never a day where she didn’t have a bandaid somewhere.

she was a really tall kid during elementary school. she was almost always the tallest kid in her class. around high school everyone outgrew her though and now she’s . really short compared to most people her age, but yeah when she was little . Tall Girl (2019).

hayley skateboarded in middle school, and she was really damn good at it. she got in loads of trouble for skateboarding on school property and she thought she was the coolest kid for doing it.

stan and francine tried really hard not to curse around hayley when she was little (once steve came around they gave up trying), but occasionally something would slip out and hayley would always parrot it. stan looking at a bill and muttering ‘shit’ and then in the living room hearing what is obviously a toddler screaming ‘SHIT’

hayley, like steve, was always kinda lonely during her school years. steve eventually found friends in snot, barry, toshi, and roger too once he moved in, but hayley never really learned proper social skills as she was often pushed away for being the loud rowdy ‘annoying’ kid, and they always viewed her attempts to try to get close to others as too ‘desperate’. she has found friends in her adulthood, but yeah during her childhood she mostly just stuck around her family.

hayley was That Kid who would always use those fake clip-on earrings you’d get from claires, as well as cutting up the spiral from her notebook to use as a fake lip piercing, and she’d spend all day trying to convince her classmates ‘yeah no it’s real’

hayley liked stealing her dad’s camera and using it to film fake vlogs. they have multiple reels that go from cute family videos, to hayley making lps vids and fake cooking tutorials.

hayley drew a lot growing up and francine still has dozens of her drawings magneted to the fridge. hayley’s always cringing and asking her to take them down, but tbh francine’s never going to.

hayley’s always loved being outside at night. occasionally she’d sneak steve out with her to play in the backyard and it’d always lead to them in the treehouse, and stan catching them because they kept shining their flashlight against their bedroom window.

steve ones:

steve’s definitely adhd, autistic, and dyslexic. (the latter’s literally canon, and the two former ones are hcs that to me feel so obvious that i’m always a little hesitant calling it a hc). i really like imagining his parents being really patient with him in this area, even stan learned to be more composed and gentle with him when it came to this, and the two of them helping him find ways to cope. francine especially enjoyed nights helping him read.

steve’s interest in birds has been with him for pretty much his entire life, i like to imagine it’s always been his biggest special interest. also i’ve noticed there’s random scenes where stan’s displayed a bit of an interest or at least an appreciation of birds, so i kinda like to imagine stan used to take steve to the park for birdwatching trips when he was young before steve started going with roger. sometimes francine and hayley would tag along, but mostly it was just stan taking steve out and listening to him ramble about all the birds he’s spotting,, every time steve had a bad day stan’s immediate solution was to take him to the park.

when roger first moved in, he and steve were inseparable. steve was obsessed with learning everything about him and his species and his home planet, while roger saw steve as the one safe person to be around (francine, hayley, and klaus were still anxious towards him while stan was too strict and controlling for him). for a good few months until he started bonding with the rest of the fam roger would get really mopey whenever steve would go to school or leave to hang with his other friends, and the second steve walked through that door roger would excitedly hug him and try to lead him off to go do something together.

@a-d-lesbian got me into the hc that steve’s a theater kid and like ,, i’m always thinking about steve getting a tiny little background role in a 6th grade christmas show that they were required to do as a class, and he just loses his mind. he convinces stan and francine to let him invite the grandparents, he has francine film every scene he’s in where he just . Stands There. and then after the show when they get home he makes them all rewatch them all because he’s really damn proud of himself.

steve’s fave books growing up were always xenofiction. stuff like warrior cats and guardians of ga’hoole and redwall. he loved that shit. like i’m just imagining him trying to get his friends to larp warrior cats but none of them read it so they don’t know what he wants them to do, and he keeps assigning them warrior cat sonas and calling them by warrior cat names at school,, and he keeps calling god ‘starclan’ (which makes stan. Mad). am i projecting? that’s a secret, i’ll never tell.

steve was absolutely the Anime Kid in middle school. the amount of times he got yelled at for naruto running in the hallways was far too much. and his faves were fruits basket, nichijou, and k-on.

i’m so obviously projecting with my steve hcs here but i’m not gonna stop and i’m gonna say steve’s a trans guy. i know it makes no sense in canon, but canon’s dead it’s mine now. anyways he’s known since around the time he started middle school, and stan and francine love him and support him and i don’t have much else to say without getting Too Projecting, but yeah steve’s trans.

steve was pretty socially anxious growing up. he did get better as he grew older obv, but when he was little he was A Mess in school.

steve loved making flower crowns when he was little. he learned how to in his 2nd grade art class and just obsessed over it for a good few years and he was always making them for the fam. francine, stan, and hayley didn’t mind, they thought it was cute. i can see hayley learning to make them too and the two of them exchanging crowns,, and francine probably learned how to make some too during her college years and steve would always get really excited whenever she tried making some with him. poor roger though, once he moved in, steve took him as his new model and roger was forced to suffer through sitting in the hot sun while steve covered him in flowers.

steve never stopped singing. oh my god, stan loves him but he eventually reached a point where he started hiding their disney movies because steve would always loudly sing along and he just wanted some peace and quiet to work.

i like to imagine klaus has a sibling-esque relationship with pretty much the entire fam, but especially with steve. he was always pretty protective of him despite not really being able to do anything if he got hurt, and klaus was always there to talk to whenever steve needed it.

steve’s always liked to help francine bake. originally it was just so he could claim the mixer of batter before hayley could, but he quickly got really invested and he still loves helping out.

and in general for the both of them:

steve was the type of kid who bonked his head against the table a little and would spend the rest of the night crying while francine comforted him,, while hayley was the type of kid who could fly down the stairs and leave an actual dent in the wall and she’d still jump up assuring everyone ‘i’m okay!!’

hayley and steve used to play pokemon together growing up. hayley was more casually into it while steve was more obsessed (i like to imagine it was a special interest of his growing up). nowadays hayley doesn’t play it too often, but every now and then some big news will happen like new starters getting revealed, and steve will show her and hayley still can’t help but get at least a bit excited each time.

francine tried to do cute little family halloween costumes a few years. the idea of them doing an addams family group costume is precious.

francine always took them out for christmas photos every year. just dozens of photos of the four of them in the tackiest sweaters. they don’t do it as often anymore (or at least they don’t take as many photos outside of a few while they’re setting up the tree) but they still have framed photos of them that they set on the fireplace mantle every year.

listen …….. there were definitely multiple instances when they were really little of stan coming home from work ,, and steve and hayley excitedly tackling him,,,, and stan dramatically acting like he’s being attacked and losing ,,,

despite roger being a Dick, he was super protective of the two of them back in the day. either of them come home from school with a bruise, and roger’s already planning out an elaborate revenge scheme.

as for stan ,,

i’m adopting @stancine’s hc to say he was definitely a country boy. i kinda like to imagine his uncle on his mother’s side lived on a farm, and stan was really close to him growing up and it just sorta became monthly to take weekend trips to see him.

stan loved horses. he was definitely a Horse Kid, and his fave breeds are clydesdales and friesians.

sheep too!! one of his favorite yearly activities is during the springtime when his uncle helps him out with shearing the sheep.

also stan loved camping. he loved going out on walks through the woods and he especially loved fishing, but the second the sun went down he cowered in the back of the tent next to his mom because he was terrified of the noises coming from outside.

stan was a really quiet kid growing up. he sucked at properly standing up for himself, that’s kinda the reason he’s so harsh on steve for accepting mistreatment because he knows how hard it is and he doesn’t want his son to go through the same shit he did.

mother’s day was always one of his favorite holidays. he’d be obsessed with planning the whole day around trying to make it perfect for betty. making her breakfast in bed and saving up his allowance to buy her a gift, and he’d always make elaborate art projects for her every year.

stan . tried to learn how to ride a motorcycle in high school. it was this random obsession he got for no reason where he just really wanted one, but he always panicked whenever he got the chance to try one out. never even got his permit because he was so scared.

stan had a lot of pent-up anger as a kid that he never even recognized as anger until he got older. because of that he often broke his toys on accident because something wasn’t working correctly, and sometimes he’d snap at teachers on accident. obv he still had a problem with it but at least now he knows what’s going on and can at least try to work on dealing with it.

betty used to read to stan at night when he was really young. they didn’t have many books around so it was just stan listening to her read the same four dr. seuss books over and over. he didn’t mind though.

stan’s always loved writing and a good chunk of his free time was writing little short stories. he took a creative writing class in high school and he almost immediately became the teacher’s pet.

stan was a pretty lonely socially inept kid and i like to think growing up he tried getting a lot of his ‘advice’ on how to interact with others through television. one time he tried to get a girl’s attention by doing the ‘throwing pebbles at their window’ trope, but he fucked up and got too big a stone and threw it too hard, and just shattered this poor girl’s window. and stan spent the rest of the night crying in his room before caving and turning himself in.

i can see him being really into superheroes when he was younger. just him bounding around the house with a blanket for a cape, acting out random scenes he read out of the latest issue he bought.

stan was obv a dog kid. he’d often find himself going to the adoption shelter near his house just to see the dogs there whenever he was feeling down. and his fave breeds were golden retrievers, pit bulls, and shelties.

god i have tons more for all of them but i’m gonna stop because this is already long enough as it is.

#i’m so sorry i didn’t mean for it to get this long djbfdjdkdkd #i'm tired too so i'm pretty sure a lot of this is Worded Weird and Awkwardly and i won't find out until tomorrow #anon #asks #long #american dad

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wolgrahas · 5 years

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tagged by: @falkreathh thank you!! sorry for doing this so much later u_u’ tagging: whoever wants to!! (◡‿◡✿) 1. favourite game in the series ok... i don’t know if you already figured it out but my total fave is dao. why? maybe is the nostalgic feelings this game gives me or... i played it so many mcfucking times that i just get this hollow feeling inside my chest when i haven’t played it for weeks... idk. the trespasser dlc was spectacular too and gave my lavellan a lot of personality (what i thought the dai base game lacked, bc it made me feel like my inquisitor was an empty shell with no personality, solas’ romance save the dai base game to me tbqh). but... you can create such complex personalities in dao for your warden, and the relationships are so so realistic. i think (dao) is neat lmao.

2. how did you discover dragon age? before being a dragon age fan i was a dark souls fan; i breath dark souls, i read dark souls, i ate dark souls, i was quite obsessed with dark souls, and before dark souls i was an obsessed skyrim fan (oNLY SKYRIM, not the previous games ashdgjasdgh) and with skyrim that was the first time i made video game oc's, like... they had such complex personalities and i cannot make complex character now... aNYWAY i'm getting carried away: i knew dragon age bc dai was being lunched and ALL the people i followed reblogged stuff about dai, and then i bought dao and loved it!!

3. how many times have you played the games? hfgsdjfhsjfshd fffUCKKKK SHITT... alright... many mANY TIMES, but how many times i haven't finished my game?? countless times!! i think i finished fINISHED dao maybe... pls don't laugh at me... 10+ times. yes they are so so so many times, shame on me! shame on my cow! blah blah, but i lOVE dao. da2 maybe.... 3-4 times? and dai 6 times?? it's funny bc i played dao and da2 in many different ways but dai... m8, always the same, fuck you solas sdhfjdshjsdf 4. favourite race to play? qUNARIIIII!!! i lOVE tieflings so.. i obviously love the qunari too, but in the dai the first race i chose was qunari but then i talked to solas and i was like... bITCHHHHH i'm gonna create an elf to romance this egg, and then... my canon inky became an elf lol. and last favourite race are humans... ok don't hate me, it's not bc they are """boring""" or shit like that, it's bc they are the upper-class of thedas and i LOVE the "from zero to hero" trope... so... yeah agfshsdfhj 5. favourite class? mages!! bc i love the lore behind this class, it's fantastic, precisely blood magic. but if i didn't care about this, i would choose archer, tho in the first games it sucked but in dai is pretty cool :^) 6. do you play through the games differently or do you make the same decisions each time? as i've said before i have made many different decisions in dao and da2 but in dai are always the same lol 7. go-to adventuring group? origins: alistair/sten, morrigan, zev/leliana da2: aveline, anders, isabela/varric dai: solas, cassandra, cole/sera 8. which of your characters did you put the most thought into? i think prim/anika??(they're the same but one is a human and the other an elf lmaoo), she was my first da oc, and obviously the one i put most thought into bc i uSED to have a lot of creativity some years ago, what a pity my brain is useless now lmao 9. favourite romance? pfffff... solas, alistair, leli and cass!! i think?? idk i gotta play again dai bc i'm not sure :/ 10. have you read any of the comics/books? i've read aLL the books but not the comics :/, i want to read the comics but idk where i could read them online and free (sorry i'm poor lol), so... mi gozo en un pozo lmao 11. if you read them, which was your favourite book? my fav book was "the masked empire"!! patrick weekes is a good writer and i loved the orlesian politics, and i adored seeing these characters in dai! (tho briala was whitewashed lmao) 12. favourite DLCs? obviously: awakening and trespasser. these two dlc's were mcfUCKING AMAZING. i mean, with dao i expected the same quality of the base game, but trespasser was such an excelent and good experience, it gave a lot of insight to our inquisitors and also: sOOULASSSSS, so yep! i mainly lOVED trespasser and i hope weekes guides the team to make a game at least as good as this dlc! (tho, if ea is a greedy bintch this time [as always lol] it doesn't matter how many times the bioware time tries, ea will force them to do a shitty game :/) 13. things that annoy you how viv, anders and sera are written, i mean, i loved anders the first time i played da2 but his personality is obviously written to annoy the fuck outta you, tho i loved how he expressed his ideals freely (tho sometimes he even seemed too traidtional to me about topics like blood magic :/), but sera and viv were a lil harder to befriend and like, and i still don't like much viv, but i love her as a character, y'kno 14. orlais or ferelden? tbh, if i gotta live in one of those two places i would choose ferelden by fAR. but, now, if we're talking about which is more interesting; orlais. 15. templars or mages? like @/blckwall said: all templars are bastards :). i would love if thedas had independent magic schools, that there were no higher representatives or charges, that every village or city had its own magic school, and the crown would be the responsable of manage its needs. i haven't thought much about this so my thoughts are quite vague :/ 16. if you have multiple characters, are they in different/parallel universes or in the same one? they're from different universes, tho i'd love the idea of all of them being in the same universe, but some worlds states are incompatible with others. 17. what did you name your pets? (mabari, summoned animals, mounts, etc) in dao: barkspawn (i'm extremelly predictable, sorry u_u') 18. have you installed any mods? all my dragon age games are modded as fUCK. i mean, i think dao is the most heavy modded game i have?? (mainly bc i cannot install many mods in skyrim lol) but when i have my gaming computer again i will mod the shit out of dai >:) 19. did your warden want to become a grey warden? prim had been working in the circle her entire live to be in the higher ranks, and then she saw how all her work was lost made her really conflicted: she didn't wanted to leave bc she yearned to be more powerful and make the circle a better place for mages (yep, she's deeply anti-circle bc of her traumatic past), and she was going to die if she refused duncan's offer. even so, she was never sorry for supporting jowan. and, she became the king of ferelden's mistress; she loved him obv, but she could also take some advantage of his power to make the mages and marginalize people's situation better, and gain fortune by that; alistair was well aware about her plans by prim's words herself, but he never objected. altho the main cause prim made alistair king is bc she wanted him to have a good life and not waste it as a grey warden, so... anyway, i got acrried away... this is long af ghdjsdgf 20. hawke’s personality? red mostly, tho he used to be purple/red in the first and begining of the second act :/ 21. did you make matching armor for your companions in inquisition? yes i did!! i lOVED to be fashionable in dragon age instyle!! 22. if your character(s) could go back in time to change one thing, what would they change? prim : she would have tried to convince jowan and wait some months until she could convince him. also: sometimes she wishes she didn't make alistair king, mostly bc of her daughter (her daughter is the only heir to the throne of ferelden, and basically she doesn't even know that prim is her real mother, mostly bc anora adopted her bc alistair and she couldn't have children), sometimes, in her alone saddest times, thinks how things would have been if alistair was still a grey warden, they would have a happy family and wouldn't even had to hide inofensive stuff like a cheek kiss. but anyway, her duties as a grey warden are more important and doesn't have time to think about it. garrett hawke: he regrets not defending carver, he would have prefered to sacrifice himself instead of any of his siblings. he also regrets going to the deep roads with bethany, letting the grey wardens make her one of them (obv he doesn't know that if he didn't she would have joined the circle lmao). and obv her mother's death... if he had been there, with her mother, he could have done something... :'/ maia: she regrets not being strong enough when that shem tried to hurt her when she was a litte girl, that made her mother kill him to save her bc she was too defenseless, she should have been stronger, that caused her mother and she part ways, because now maia's mother was a criminal and she had more proabilities of getting caught, so maia should go on her way and find the next village, but she found the lavellan clan. she deeply regrets not going after her mother. she also think she was too stupid to not found out the true identity of solas and try to convince him that this world has meaning :'/ 23. do you have any headcanons about your character(s) that go against canon? mmmm... no? :/, i like my decisions to have consequences?? 24. are any of your characters based on someone? sahgdashsd pls don't make fun of me but in the first stage of prim's/anika's 'personality creation' was inspired by mother gothel, then she was inspired by...... mikasa ackerman dsfgdjsdf, i'm still inspired by that character tHO i know that shingeki no kyojin is nazi propaganda and i no longer watch that anime lmao. maia is inspired by... a mix of me and rapunzel (from tangled)?? she's basically a shy rapunzel :') 25. who did you leave in the fade? some of you will hate me bc i had to choose between hawke and stroud but i still chose hawke dsfgsdf. m8, hawke is just a 'figure' who isn't widely recognized in thedas, while the grey warden are 394789x more useful, idk i always put myself in the shoes of my characters even if their decisions hurt me (tho, tbqh, i'm not tHAT attached to hawke so this choice was easy lol) 26. favourite mount? royal sixteen!! she's so pretty!! ♡♡♡ thanks for tagging me!! ♡♡

#rami.txt #rami got tagged.txt #this was fun!!

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phancystuff · 7 years

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Trying to Remember How it Feels (To Have a Heartbeat) 3/7

Pairing: Dan/ Phil (Phan) Summary: Dan moves into a new apartment in London and, though it’s a step up from his old apartment, his landlord gives him strange warnings while he’s touring the place– something about the last renters leaving because of ghost sightings. But, Dan doesn’t believe in the supernatural. He quickly changes his tune when he meets Phil Lester, the ghost haunting his apartment. Well, if haunting means quickly becoming the best friend he’s ever had. (Title from Harry Styles’ song Two Ghosts) Notes: Part 3 of my Spooky Week Special! This fic is almost 100% already written and I plan on updating it every day until Halloween. Please note that, although this fic has the warning of major character death, it is not in any way graphic. Tags/ Warnings: ghost au, Halloween, major character death (obv. it’s a ghost au lol), depictions of panic attacks, angst, fluff, HAPPY ENDING, mentions of suicide (it happens in a movie they watch)

Read it on A03 Part One Part Two

Dan and Phil got even closer after their argument. They continued to play video games and watch movies and shows. Dan made YouTube videos and Phil helped with the whole process, itching to edit something again. They fell into a downright psychic rhythm. Phil cooked for Dan. Dan bought Phil things off Amazon, just to see Phil’s eyes shine with delight when Dan shoved Amazon boxes at him. Dan bought him video games, stuffed animals, DVDs, an iPad. Dan tried to convince Phil to make a Twitter account, just to interact with the world again. Phil couldn’t do it; it felt wrong, somehow. Like he was lying to people. His moral compass was much stronger than Dan’s.

Dan, meanwhile, became obsessed ghost research, wanting so much for Phil. Dan wanted to find out why Phil was stuck in one place, unable to float past the entryway of their flat. He wanted to find out why Phil was stuck as a ghost in this life, anyway. Wasn’t there some ‘great beyond’ that Phil was missing out on?

The problem with ‘ghost research’ was that there were so many crazy people out there who hadn’t even interacted with a single ghost, trying to convince the world that there were experts. There was a lot of information to sift through. A lot of suggestions to try that sounded ridiculous. Dan really couldn’t find much information about the questions that he really had, so he had to resort to testing out things that were interesting, but largely unimportant.

The first ‘fact’ that the two boys decided to test out, was whether or not Phil could change his appearance. They were sitting on the couch; Phil was playing online Mario Kart on the switch (“What happened to lying to people?” “Mario Kart doesn’t count, Dan! Who cares if you’re playing against a ghost?”) Dan was on his macbook, reading a dodgy-looking page called “The Laws of the Poltergeist,” when one of the supposed ‘laws’ peaked his interest. Ghosts are in complete control of their physical manifestation. Most simply choose to continue to look like what they did when they died.

“Phil?” Dan lowered the screen of his laptop, watching Phil’s mii drive around on the Rainbow Road map.

Distracted, Phil yelped when a red shell hit his car in a direct hit. “Huh? What?” He was in fourth place now.

“Have you ever tried to look different?”

“How do you mean?” Phil jerked his head and shoulders, almost as if he was trying to turn his car faster with the help of his body.

“I mean, this site says that ghosts can look like whatever they want to look like. You could look like Sarah Michelle Gellar if you wanted to!” Phil’s character raced toward the finish line, crossing it and locking in fifth place. Phil groaned.

“Oh, um. That would be weird! You couldn’t get me to stop looking in the mirror if I looked like Sarah Michelle Gellar.”

“You get my point, though. Have you ever tried?”

Phil put down the controller on the couch next to him, gripping his own chin and looking thoughtful. “Ah, no, I guess I haven’t. I never considered trying to look different. I don’t even know where I’d start.” Dan looked down at the same blue shirt and sweatpants that Phil was wearing the day they met. The outfit still confused Dan; in his old videos, Phil usually wore dark jeans and nerdy t-shirts.

“You could start small? Try changing your shirt? I mean, you’ve been wearing nothing but pjs this whole time, how rude.”

Phil smiled, looking down at his worn outfit. “Oh, hmm. I have no idea what I would change it to.”

“Do you want some inspiration?” Dan clicked away on his keyboard, pulling up the Topman site and picking a red flannel shirt. He spun the laptop toward Phil, showing him the shirt. “Try that?” Phil stared at the image, furrowing his eyebrows in concentration.

“I don’t even know what I’m focusing my energy on,” Phil mumbled. Minutes of silence went by and Dan was starting to think that this ‘poltergeist fact’ was crap. Suddenly, he watched with wide eyes as Phil’s blue shirt slowly morphed colors. It turned purple, first. Then red.

“Phil! You’re doing it!”

The ghost looked down and saw the red t-shirt. “Hey, wow! Look at that! I mean, it’s not long-sleeved or plaid, but it’s definitely not blue anymore! Do I suit it?” Phil twisted his torso around, proudly showing off the color. Dan looked at Phil in the new shirt, smiling. Dan hadn’t seen the ghost in anything but blue and the sudden change brought out all the wonderful things about Phil’s appearance. His blue eyes and clear, pale skin seemed to glow brighter.

“It looks good, Phil! Damn!” Dan tried to hide the truth of his comments in overexaggerated banter, but Phil still blushed in response.

“I’ll work on that one. I think with a bit of practice, I could make it so I can change my clothes every day. Like I’m dressing myself again! What was that website you used?”

Dan showed Phil the Topman website and asked his followers to send him some outfit suggestions, ‘for a friend just getting into the world of fashion.’ Dan’s heart glowed with the realization that, slowly, Dan was giving Phil little bits of his humanity back.

Phil practiced his new found power obsessively. Dan often found Phil in front of a mirror, staring hard at his face with a familiar look of concentration. Often, Dan’s computer would be next to him, propped up on the bathroom sink. Phil quickly gained the ability to easily change his clothes and he loved it. He wore flannel, nerdy tees, button-ups with zany patterns. He tried every suggestion that Dan’s twitter followers sent in, including some utterly ridiculous ones like camouflage dungarees and a shirt with obnoxious tassels. Dan liked when Phil insisted on Dan watching him ‘try on’ outfits. Phil would ask Dan’s opinion and spin around, walking across the lounge like he was on a catwalk. Dan would watch him fondly, showering him with compliments and slowly realizing that he was falling every so slightly in love with a ghost.

Sooner or later, Phil discovered that he could also change his hair. After one memorable afternoon with bright teal hair, Phil stuck to simply changing the length. He wasn’t as experimental with his hair as he was with his clothes. When Dan had asked why, Phil had just replied that, although his haircut was a little out of style, he couldn’t help but feel that he wouldn’t be him without the emo fringe. Dan couldn’t disagree. Phil decided to shorten his hair a little bit, trying the shaved sides look that everyone had in the year 2017. Phil came out of the bathroom one morning after making this particular change and Dan’s mouth actually dropped open. “What, does it not look good? I swear I tried. Maybe I should just stick with the long, emo fringe.”

“No, no, it looks really good. You look older! Like how 30 year-old Phil might look.” Dan stared at his friend, openly gawking. Phil looked really attractive. Dan wondered what their life would be like if things had gone differently. If Dan and Phil had met when they both had heartbeats. He reached out to Phil, wanting to touch his new hair. Phil jerked back, but didn’t do so in time and they made skin-to-ghostly-skin contact.

Dan called out, pain searing through his fingers. They felt like he had stuck them in the snow for hours. “Fuck, oh, ow!” He breathed on his hand, frantically trying to warm his digits.

“Crap, sorry!” Without thinking, Phil stuck out his hands as if to grab Dan’s, but Dan jerked them away just in time.

“No! That’s not gonna help, you idiot.” Warmth started to return to Dan’s hand and he breathed a sigh of relief.

“Yeah.” Phil’s voice broke and Dan looked up from his hands, alarmed. He watched a tear escape the corner of Phil’s eye. “I was always a touchy person. I cuddled every person that ever showed me an ounce of affection. Out of all the things that I can’t do anymore, not being able to touch people is the worst.” Dan watched in horror as the tears came faster and spilled down Phil’s cheeks. The ghost wiped them away roughly.

“Oh, Phil.” Dan didn’t know what to say-- or do, for that matter. How could he comfort someone he couldn’t touch?

“Sorry for getting emotional. Your hand made mine feel so… warm. I forgot what that felt like.” Phil looked at his hand in wonder. Dan distracted Phil with another outfit suggestion and they didn’t talk about the occurrence.

***

After a week of practice, Phil found that he could also morph his face and body. This really made him nervous. He couldn’t shift his appearance drastically (“Dan, the Sarah Michelle Geller dream will have to remain a dream”), but he could age himself up or down. It was like his body knew what to do; Phil just had to think about doing it. Phil didn’t really want to age himself at first, but he slowly grew used to the squarer jaw and the new wrinkles around his eyes that appeared when he concentrated on his true age. He found that he liked being taller, even though he was always still shorter than Dan. He also enjoyed occasionally scaring Dan by appearing seven years old and asking him to “come play with me!”

Dan continued on his quest for ghost facts, but ones that proved to be true weren’t really forthcoming. The two boys tried new experiments with electricity, but gave up after Phil blew out one too many lightbulbs. Phil tried to ‘possess’ objects, but that one was just a complete failure that ended in Phil running into Dan’s wardrobe and knocking a pile of books off the top (“Who puts books on a wardrobe?” “Who tries to possess a wardrobe?”) Phil was too nervous about trying to possess a person. It seemed risky. Dan on the other hand, bothered Phil about it on a regular basis.

One morning in September, Dan was eating a bowl of Crunchy Nut at the dining room table when the subject came up again. “I’m just saying, Phil, if you possess me, you might be able to leave the apartment! Can you imagine that? You could see London! We could fly out to Japan.”

Phil snorted. “You’re way too eager for me to possess you. Is it a secret kink?”

Dan choked on his cereal, swallowing milk down his windpipe. He coughed. “Phil!”

“I’m just saying.” Dan cleared his throat. Phil always acted so innocent, then pulled these innuendoes from nowhere, completely throwing Dan off.

After recovering, Dan spooned another mouthful of cereal past his lips. “Hmm… secret kink, eh? I mean, it is the ultimate loss of control. Enter me, dad!”

Phil grinned. Banter between them was like a perpetual tennis match; they were always on the same wavelength, playing off each other’s sense of humor perfectly. Dan often wondered what making a video with Phil would be like. Their chemistry would probably be viral. “I’ll never get used to everyone ironically saying dad in 2017. How does it even make sense?” They sat in companionable silence until Dan was finished with his cereal. He got up and rinsed out the bowl, running a hand through his curly hair, trying to determine if a shower would be necessary. He sat on the kitchen counter.

“I am serious about trying out the possession thing, Phil. If there’s even a little bit of life I can give back to you, I want to.” Dan turned around, leaning against the sink and staring at Phil.

“Dan,” Phil warned quietly. “I’m dead. My life is over and that’s ok. You can’t stop living your life on account of me.”

“I haven’t stopped living my life!” Dan was annoyed. They constantly had this conversation ever since Dan became obsessed with his ghost research; Phil warned Dan not to get too close and lose out on his own life. Dan argued that he wasn’t doing anything different with his life. This is how it always had been; he had an internet job and not many friends. He was an introvert and slight agoraphobe. If anything, Phil had made his life better. “I’m allowed to do what I want with it. I’m allowed to decide that I want to help my ghost friend have a little fun. Why is it any different to be friends with you than it is to be friends with another living person?”

“Because I can’t leave here. I can’t experience the world with you. I can’t make YouTube videos with you, we can’t get a dog together, I can’t steal your cereal, I can’t…” Phil’s words were lodged in his throat. “I can’t touch you, hug you, cuddle you. I can hug everything else in this flat all I want, but not the one thing that I actually want to hug. That’s not friendship, Dan, that’s… where are you going?”

Partway through Phil’s frustrated rant, Dan pushed off the kitchen counter, wondering how they had been so stupid. Phil could hug everything else in this apartment, but Dan! Of course! “Hold on, gotta go get something! Sorry, Phil, this is important!”

“We’re having a serious conversation here, you can’t just run off!” Phil got up and followed Dan to his bedroom, watching with annoyed confusion as Dan rifled through his wardrobe, pulling out a pair of jeans, hoodie, beanie, and gloves. “Is this really the time to get dressed? Are you going outside?”

Dan spun around to face Phil, arms filled with clothes. His eyes were shining with excitement. “You can hug everything in this apartment except me. Phil Lester! You’re a genius!”

“I still don’t understand? What are you on about?”

“Put these clothes on and I think you’ll be able to hug me.” Dan thrust the clothes at Phil who looked at them with wide eyes.

Phil’s frustration fell away. “Could that work?!” Phil grabbed the clothing quickly and stabbed his legs through Dan’s jeans, his legs refusing to go fast enough. He scrabbled at the fabric, dropping the waistband in his excitement. “What am I doing? I’m a ghost!” Phil phased through the clothing, letting it settle on his body. It didn’t feel any different than normal, but he was used to having no sense of touch. Completely suited up, Phil paused and stared at Dan. “What do you think it’s gonna feel like?”

“I don’t know,” Dan whispered. “I just hope it works.”

“Be careful not to touch my face, ok? I don’t want to hurt you.” Dan nodded and Phil tentatively reached out with his gloved hand, touching Dan’s cheek. Phil closed his eyes and smiled. Even through the glove, he could feel Dan’s human warmth. He could feel something! Seven years of nothing, of numbness, and he could feel something. Phil’s eyes opened and he met Dan’s stare. “Does it hurt? Should we stop?”

“It doesn’t hurt. It just feels like I’ve dressed an ice sculpture and now it’s touching me.” Dan smiled and stepped closer to the clothed ghost, holding his arms out.

Phil couldn’t prepare himself for the feeling of stepping into Dan’s arms. He pressed every inch of himself up against Dan, feeling the warmth of him seep through the clothes that separated them. Phil could feel Dan’s heartbeat echoing in his own body. Phil suddenly remembered one time when he was small and he decided to play outside in the snow, without his snowsuit. He stayed out for way too long, the snow melting and seeping through his clothes. When his mum yelled for him to come inside, he was a shivering, wet mess. His mum made him take off all his clothes right in the living room and she wrapped him up in an electric heated blanket and placed him on the sofa. Hugging Dan felt a little bit like that. Except if that warmth had also been the feeling of life and happiness and laughter and home. Phil felt that he might burst from the emotions and sensations crawling across his skin and filling his empty body.

“God, Dan. I can’t even tell you what this feels like.” Dan smiled against Phil’s shoulder, shivering. He couldn’t tell if it was from the cold or the overwhelming wave of love that crashed over Dan. They parted and stared at each other. Dan’s hands gripped Phil’s back and Phil’s gloved hands lay on Dan’s shoulders. Dan wanted to tell Phil how he felt. How much he loved him. How much he wished for things to be different. But, he also didn’t want to interrupt this moment and, something in Phil’s blue-green eyes told Dan that Phil understood it all without it having to be said.

The ghost closed the space between the two boys once more, embracing Dan and getting as close as possible. “Thank you, Dan. Thank you for everything. Thank you.” Phil cried, repeating those two words until Dan couldn’t understand him through his sobs. Dan realized, with an intensity that he had never really experienced before, that he would do anything for Phil.

When they parted again and Dan rubbed his hands over his arms, trying to warm himself up again, he looked at Phil’s glowing face and said: “You are going to try to possess me.”

***

For days, Phil tried to convince Dan that they shouldn’t try possession. He came up with every possible excuse: it was dangerous, they couldn’t do any research before doing it, they didn’t know what would happen, Dan could get hurt or worse. Dan didn’t seem to care about his own well-being and Phil got more and more frustrated at Dan’s lack of self-preservation.

“You cannot tell me that you haven’t been itching to leave this apartment for the seven years that you’ve been trapped here!” Dan hadn’t been able to leave the argument alone; he couldn’t go five minutes without bringing it up. Phil groaned loudly. They were cuddling on the couch, both of them wrapped in many layers of Dan’s clothing. Phil’s layers allowed him to touch Dan and Dan’s layers kept him from feeling the life-sucking chill of Phil’s skin. They had been inseparable since discovering the clothing trick. They cuddled on the couch, cooked hip to hip, and hugged randomly and constantly.

Despite wanting to keep Dan safe, Phil couldn’t keep him at arm's-length; Phil was already addicted to the solid feel of the living boy. The whisper of life that he gave to Phil. And when Phil wasn’t touching Dan, he felt all the more sad, numb, and lifeless. This was the biggest reason why Phil didn’t want to possess Dan. What if he got addicted to Dan’s life? What if he didn’t want to go back to being a numb ghost? What if he went too far and something happened to Dan? Phil would never forgive himself. Phil had been keeping these details to himself, not wanting to frighten Dan.

“I am curious! Of course I want to get out of this bloody apartment that’s been my literal prison for years.” Phil said, frustrated.

“Then I don’t get it. Let’s do this thing.”

“I’m scared.” Phil gripped Dan closer to his chest, thankful that he couldn’t see the boy’s brown, pleading eyes. It was make rejecting him even harder.

Almost as if reading his mind, Dan pried himself out of Phil’s grip and slipped down onto the floor, staring at Phil. “I’m going to be fine. What’s the worst that can happen?” Dan smiled reassuringly, “I trust you completely.”

“You shouldn’t. I don’t trust myself.” Phil stared past Dan, looking at the wall beyond his shoulder.

“Phil?” Wanting further explanation, Dan reached out a gloved hand and lightly gripped Phil’s chin, silently asking for Phil’s full attention. Since there was nothing covering that piece of Phil’s body, the chill in Dan’s hand was harsher. He held back a wince.

Blue eyes met brown. Phil whispered: “You’re addicting. Your presence, your warmth, the life inside of you. I feel--” Phil paused. “I feel like if I got ahold of all of you, I may not want to let go. I may not be able to.”

Dan sat, stunned. Their gazes were locked for a little moment of infinite. Dan searched Phil’s eyes for what he was describing-- selfishness, addiction, a lack of control. Dan shook his head, only finding joy and kindness. He thought back to Phil’s videos on the internet; they showed a boy only interested in bringing joy into other people’s lives. He thought back on their very first interaction when Phil had calmed Dan down during a panic attack, caused by his very presence. A thousand little memories darted and danced through Dan’s brain, all reminding him that Phil was the best person that Dan had ever met. “No. I trust you.”

Phil let out a cry of frustration and disbelief. “I don’t get how you can have so much faith in me!” Dan let out a little surprised gasp as, suddenly, Dan was left with just a pile of his own clothes as Phil’s physical form ceased to exist. Dan could still feel the phantom touch in his cold fingers. He buried his head into his own clothing, wondering what smell Phil would have left behind in them if he was still living.

Phil didn’t re-manifest himself again that day. Dan knew he wasn’t that far away. He didn’t really understand what kind of form Phil took when he didn’t have a body-- Phil had try to explain it before, using several broken metaphors. But Dan really couldn’t understand, having never personally experienced it. From what he understood, without his physical body, Phil was more of a presence in the apartment, which meant that he was still watching Dan. He was just choosing not to interact.

Despite this, Dan didn’t stop talking to Phil all day. Mostly, he told the ghost boy how immature he was being. “You’re supposed to be my elder, Philip!” Dan called out to the kitchen as he stirred a pot of soup. “You can’t run from arguments.” Dan grumbled as he watched their abandoned episode of Rick and Morty. “My mum always said you’re not supposed to go to sleep angry.” Dan whispered as he crawled under his sheets and drifted into a fitful sleep.

“You’re never going to drop this.” Phil said the next morning, sitting on the right side of Dan’s bed, purposefully not wearing any of Dan’s clothes. Dan opened his eyes, waking at Phil’s words. He said them seriously and evenly. Dan rubbed his eyes, and pushed himself up into a sitting position, his blanket slipping down his bare chest.

“Um, no probably not.” Dan had enough sense to be a little sheepish. He had always been stubborn. “I just want to give this to you. Let me give this to you.”

Phil stared at his fingers, wishing he had some inanimate object to spin. “But why?”

Dan’s stomach dropped; he wasn’t anticipating the question, even though it was a very valid one to ask. Dan had only known Phil for a couple months. Not quite a half year. And yet, here he was, offering the ghost his body. And, if things went wrong, his life. Dan knew the reason why he was willing to do this for Phil. Anyone could figure it out if they just thought about it. “I think you know why.” Dan said tentatively, wishing that Phil was at least wearing a pair of gloves so he could grab the ghost’s hand. He considered reaching out anyway and just ignoring the bite of cold against his skin. Dan decided not to at the last minute, guessing that Phil had his reasons for talking to him without the protective layer of clothing. Phil was silent for a long minute, still refusing to look at Dan.

“Ok. But why?” Although almost identical in phrasing, this was a completely different question. Dan closed his eyes at words left unsaid. Why did Dan love Phil? It was easy to answer, a thousand responses springing up in Dan’s mind all at once. But, was Dan going to be the one to break the silence and bring those words out into the open? There was a moment of sudden clarity and confidence, but the silence stretched on for too long and the moment was gone as quickly as it came. Phil pressed his hands into his eyes. “Ok, this is too heavy so early in the morning.” A watery, shaky smile greeted Dan’s eyes as Phil turned to look at him for the first time that morning. “Do you wanna watch some YouTube in bed?”

Dan felt like a coward for agreeing to the plan. They spent most of the day in bed together, Dan eating snacks and both of them giggling over YouTube poop. They pressed against each other through Dan’s duvet and the words that Dan yearned to say burned just under the surface of his skin. He swore that Phil could feel them through the thin material of pajamas and blanket.

Chapter four

#phan #phanfic #phanfiction #ghost au #halloween #spooky week #spooky week special

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gumihoni · 7 years

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Ok, so a bunch of lovely people have tagged me in things and I have been very dumb and scatterbrained, but I am gonna answer them now (really only because I am still dressed like a functional human at this moment, and that is one of the questions somewhere) Happy new year! List 10 good things that happened in 2016, then tag 10 people to do the same. tagged by @dgalerab uhm, okay, I’m really trying here 1) went back to Korea and rediscovered what it feels like to have energy levels and like, be happy, and just generally my love for travelling 2) in the same vein: made the decision to go to Korea for a few months this year at least, which finally gave me some perspective 3) my brother came home for Christmas (it’s a delicate situation and the only time I’ve seen him in the last 2 1/2 years was a funeral) 4) ...fell in love with Bokuto :’) 5) i’m improving at art (it’s subtle things, but i am much faster, and slightly better at anatomy) 6) met a bunch of cool new people (a lot of them on here, too!) 7) met a few travelling friends again after 3 years 8) I didn’t lose my love for martial arts, despite being mediocre at it, after reaching the goal I set for myself (black belt) 9) saw a band I’ve liked for a loooong time in concert for the first time 10) hxh came off hiatus!!! it’s on hiatus again lmao but we got new exciting chapters! Rules: answer the questions in a new post and tag people you would like to get to know better tagged by: @livecement and @risquetendencies 1. Nickname: Ginny works, I guess. Anything you can do with my url sounds really dumb *shrug emoji* 2. Star Sign: Gemini 3. Height: 5′1″ 4. Time rn: 11:12pm, I need to sleep soon because I agreed to take someone else’s shift :’) 5. Favourite Music Artist: The Matches, Meg & Dia, Protest the Hero, Mamamoo, The National... i want to list more because when I look at that singular there I suddenly don’t know how to read : ) 6. Song stuck in your head: since I’m listening to it right now... a Korean song: Ssaunal (Fight Day or Fight Me) by Bolbbalgan4. 7. Last Movie Watched: ...I have no idea. Possibly Phantom Rouge in German? 8. Last TV Show you watched: if it’s last episode, probably Haikyuu!!... I am bad at watching things 9. what are you wearing rn: an actual outfit!! how exciting I am a real human today! A long grey cardigan over a loose sky blue dress with a very scattered white leaf print and a lace trim, and black tights. 10. when did you create your blog: end of March 2015 11. what kind of stuff do you post: hxh, haikyuu, a lot of mental health stuff, i am sorry, memes, deep sea animals, animals idk, pretty things, a lot of stuff really 12. do you have any other blogs: i have painpackerrisingsin saved for if i ever dare to start a nsfw art blog :’) 13. Do you get asks regularly: No, and often when I get them I am convinced I mortally offended someone and they’re out to get me. (which has obv not happened ever, except for some... shitstirrers i should have blocked long ago) 14. why did you choose your username: i hate this question, i meant to lurk and chose a dumb url because i thought it didn’t matter but I hate change so I am stuck with Feitan’s hatsus (and it’s so long to type or write on stuff) 15. Gender: *Kurapika voice* what’s a gender; dfab and I don’t experience any dysphoria but I find myself caring about labels less and less 16. Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw 17. Pokemon Team: Instinct 18. Favourite colour: Periwinkle 19. Average hours of sleep: anything from 1 to 10, my life is a mess 20. lucky number: none really. I have attachments to 4, 5, 587, though. 21. Favourite character: Bokuto, Leorio, Kurogane (i have a type rip) 22. how many blankets do you sleep with: two 23. dream job: i need someone to pay me for learning languages for no one but myself :’) 24. Following: 83, but 4 of these are rou and 5 doomsday so... there’s a few other mutuals with more than one blog. I get overwhelmed when there’s too much stuff on my dash... Rule one: Always post the rules Rule two: answer the questions the person who tagged you asked and write 11 new ones Rule three: tag 11 people and link them to the post tagged by my love @sayoko0

1) Favorite color? answered up there!

2) How do you think birds communicate? tone of their singing and in more direct interactions body language?

3) Can you identify a tree from its leaves? not many, but a select few, yeah. My mom would be so disappointed.

4) If you could make a ship canon which one would it be? ughhh this hurts my heart but probably Leopika, because I need Kpeeks to be saved. It’s my angstiest ship... Kurofai is as canon as gay ships go in CLAMP and Bokuaka, there’s SOMETHING and... I don’t need it as much in the manga context, because there’s so many amazing fanworks. 5) Fav song atm? Ho boy... I’ve rediscovered Hypocrates by Marina and the Diamonds. My all time favourite is Clumsy Heart by The Matches. 6) A song that cheers you up? Butterflies Pt.II by Lana del Rey 7) A song that makes you sad? The One by Meg & Dia 8) One of your fav vines? Describe it if you don’t feel like searching for it. The one with the Korean girl, where the other girl is like “xy your bra strap is showing!!!” and she’s dancing to a song going I don’t give a fuck wearing tons of bras everywhere 9) What’s your comfort food? LASAGNA. And warm chocolate pudding. 10) I can’t think of anything else so tell me whatever you were doing before answering this, or plan to do after finishing. Answering more tag stuff because I collect them for months ;_; 11) Oh! Tell me the last weird dream you remember having. Oh my god... Okay, so, you know these people who always have these little notes and go “just be happy!!!!”, “positivity!!!”; I was silently judging them in my head, but then later had to justify myself in front of some heavenly court and hold a long speech about how I tolerate other people’s way of life even if it’s different from mine, and if that doesn’t tell you a lot about me as a person, I really don’t know. Oh yeah, there was also the dream where I got to meet Britney and had so many questions and the only thing I could get out was asking if she was planning a duet with Psy (but she was!!!). There’s more, I am really useless but I am tired and need to sleep, I will, one day, maybe get back to some of the others because they were interesting but... my energy levels are so low now. Tagging: If you tagged me in one of these, feel tagged for the others if you haven’t done them yet. Uhm, take the questions here, my brain is not functional. Also tagging: @daiousamashittykawa, @pyro-madder, @schwanendreher, @sirwallahoo, @bbmelon, @yescabbageguystuff, @thewiselearnfromhistory, @the-smallest-kurapika uhm, anyone i’ve ever spoken to who feels like doing it? If you want to do one or none or all, just, do whatever you want, I want you to be happy ok.

#tag meme #ask meme #me tho #what is my tag #i don't know #long post #sorry

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