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amuseoffyre · 6 months

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@triflesandparsnips made a rather spiffy observation on my post about Ed and face-touching:

It may be worthwhile, considering how much face/mouth violence Ed is sensitive to -- and when we see or hear about it -- to do a review of how much of that face sensitivity is also associated with food and eating.

And hooboy, I ended up down a rabbithole thinking about Ed and food and it got so long, it earned itself its own little post.

These are all the food/eating related moments that tie in directly to Ed having strong emotional responses. I didn't limit it to just the face-touching because there's a lot of emotional mess going on as well.

When Stede wakes him for brekkie in 1x04, he recoils immediately as he wakes, until he realises who's beside him (especially pertinent since Ed wakes in 2x03 and asks if anything was done to him while he was unconscious - he even anticipates harm while sleeping).

in 1x05, when he's being taught the intricacies of dining and the French captain slaps on his big red trauma button while he's sitting at a dining table and already feeling out of his depth with all the tablewear.

Cut to the flashback in 1x05 which has him and his mum talking quietly in one part of the room, but his father is there, slumped and drunk on the family dining table, setting the domestic sphere as a place of constant present threat.

Later in 1x05, when he's alone at the party, he's freaking out over not knowing how to deal with this kind of fancy-folk dining and then someone touches his face - double-whammy of the emotional stuff and the physical.

1x06 gives us the main flashback to his childhood and his father's violent reaction to 'slop' and 1x07 has stressed, out-of-his-comfort-zone hangry Ed, trying desperately to keep up the Blackbeard appearance ("Blackbeard can't be seen treasure hunting!") and again, something touches his body/head unexpectedly and he lashes out defensively.

There is so much going on in the brekkie scene that I can't even get into it here. Ed trying to code-switch between the way he interacts with Stede and Jack respectively, but most significantly, when Jack talks over him and ignores him trying to change the subject about violence he's done in the past, Ed shrinks down in the chair, doing the small-and-quiet thing he does when he's unhappy (one day I will yell about Ed taking refuge surrounding himself with gold/yellow things - blankets, chairs, robes, pillowforts. His version of the battle jacket).

1x10 has several moments. First is the marmalade - there's something child-like about the blanket fort and eating sweet sticky things with his fingers, taking comfort in food and hiding.

The second is something that is viscerally explained in S2 - when he forcefeeds Izzy his own toe. The contrast of the brutality and the very paternal "now don't forget to chew" like an adult talking to a child gave me chills the first time I watched it.

The last thing in 1x10 isn't necessarily food, but hooooboy there is something in the way he sets himself up at what was Stede's brekkie table, putting on the worst of personas possible, that is very much reminding me of his dad at the table in a bare, empty home, lit by a single candle, in that first flashback.

And now, into S2, and our man starts things in a totally healthy and normal way - eating the cake with his weapon. And, more importantly, "did everybody get cake?" Again, we have the juxtaposition of implicitly care-taking language against the surrounding violence and brutality.

The gravy basket tells us so much as well - he wakes up to the horror of being vulnerable, trapped by his own body and force-fed by someone who we learn had a habit of forcefeeding live crabs to people and who had threatened to flay Ed's skin off and feed it to him. He's rightfully afraid that anything Hornigold feeds him might be poisoned.

Once again, we have the parental energy of "open up for the cargo ship" tangled up with the fear of threat and violence and horror - poisoning, flaying and force-feeding.

Ed's fear has the two utterly bound up together, inescapably so. His father shaped his childhood and Hornigold stepped into that role when Ed became an outlaw.

But even in this messy and horrifying confrontation with his own psyche and layered up with the horrors he's lived through as a boy, some part of Ed still desperately wants the comfort and security of food and home, especially when the food his subconscious is gathering for him are the ingredients for Māori boil-up, something his mother would very likely have made for them.

It speaks measures that the three things he wants to live for include good food and warmth and orgasms. No fame. No glory. No reputation. Just to be loved and safe and warm and fed.

Jump forward to 2x04 and dinner with Bonny and Read. Ed is unsurprised by the degree of violence happening throughout, but does hesitate when poison comes into the equation - "I got the present you left for me in my glass" - Ed immediately sets down his glass, staring at it warily. Again, calling back to the Gravy Basket and his fear that anything given to him might be poisoned.

He's already on edge and off-balance - "not sure what's real and what's the basket" and there may or may not be poison and knives and the person he trusted may or may not betray him again and he's already spinning out when Anne - who had already declared her intention to provoke Ed and Mary - cheerfully lands the bombshell of why Stede left him.

No small wonder he storms out of the room, but it does lead to them having a much-needed conversation and he and Stede are on a much steadier footing after.

And then, of course, we have the breakfast of 2x07. This one is especially significant because Ed makes the brekkie then disposes of his leathers. He's actively trying to step from one mode of life to another, from the Blackbeard-and-Piracy into the domestic, softer life he's been quietly craving his entire life.

Only, as he says himself, "I don't think I've ever made regular breakfast for anyone before". He's trying, but it's something new and unfamiliar to him and it's "my way of saying thank you".

And lastly, we have the scene with the fisherman and his son where Ed has shoe-horned himself into what he thinks is the solution to all his problems and also includes a father-son dynamic, because our man can't do anything without his daddy issues rearing their ugly head.

Once again, Ed is out of his depth, but at the opposite end of the scale from the party ship. This is a place he thinks he should fit but he doesn't. This is the domesticity he craved, but without understanding or appreciating the real work that is needed to get there.

And once again, over a meal, he has an angry father expressing violence. "Control your pop-pop!" he tells the boy who is around the same age as he was when he killed his father. But he doesn't fight back, he doesn't strike out at Pop-pop, and the son steps between them and pulls his dad back several times.

And it's this father-figure's words that ring in Ed's ears when he realises Stede may be in danger. "If you were ever good at anything, do that". And if there's one thing Ed Teach is good at, it's fighting for the people he loves.

In conclusion our Mr. Teach wants a safe and comfortable home-life, with food and warmth (and orgasms), but he has no real experience of what that is really like or how to get it. His entire life has been a succession of threats and danger and men who would do harm to people in their charge, especially when they were unarmed, defenceless and vulnerable.

He doesn't know how to be safe yet, because he's never experienced it. All he's known until this point is a life of violence and danger and while he tried to move away from that, the violence and danger was still there - as Stede put it, there's no escaping it in their line of work.

But now, at the end of S2, for the first time in his life, he is actually able to say "No, I need to be away from piracy" because his whole journey through both seasons has been him trying and trying to step away from the life that has him by the throat.

And now, he's finally been able to do it and he's not alone. He has someone he's safe with and who is willing to do the work with him to help him figure things out. And give him good food, warmth and, of course, orgasms.

#ofmd #ofmd meta #ofmd thinkie thoughts #blackbeard #ed teach #long post

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jelliessoap · 8 months

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COD MEN AND THEIR DOGS!

just my hcs for the dogs they would get!

TF141 + könig

gn!reader, fluff, no warnings really, adopt dont shop y’all !! , gifs not mine! can u tell im a dog person

cavalier king charles spaniel!

- didn’t plan on getting a dog until he came home and found you with a little cavalier pup in your lap

- a sweet girl with an old lady name like marjorie

- wasn’t super affectionate towards her until he was napping like an old man in his recliner and she curled up on his lap

- he woke up and acted annoyed, looked around to see if you were there then looked back at her and couldn’t stop himself from smiling as he pet her.

- life changed

- this dog is precious to him

- only the best brands of food, most reputable groomers, always has her favorite treats stocked up, wouldn’t trust anyone to watch her.

- you thought you loved this dog? john loves her 10 times more.

- christmas cards with your dog

- wedding pics with your dog

- she was def in your wedding

- the dog is queen of the house and you’re both totally fine with that

- your guys’ child tbh

a blue staffordshire bull terrier

- wanted to get you a guard dog, you insisted on adopting from a shelter

- was looking for a big mean scary looking dog but said he didn’t like their ‘attitudes’ (leave it to simon.)

- almost left empty handed but a little staffy caught your eye.

- stole your heart immediately the little guy was wagging his tail and sitting patiently at the kennel door. when the shelter staff explained he was a rescue from dog fights and had some temperament issues so he wasn’t easily adoptable he stole ghost’s heart.

- saw himself in the dog

- needless to say you took home that little staffy

- surprisingly patient with the pup and his behavioral issues

- he nipped at ghost once out of nerves and you prepared for the worst but ghost backed off to give him space instead

- invests in a lot of training for him, will switch trainers if he finds their methods are too hard on your pup

- i think the dog would bring you two closer and let him open up more, especially as the training goes on and there’s noticeable progress

- brings out a different side of ghost tbh, much more vulnerable and happy. not a care in the world when he’s with that dog

- remembers the adoption date and literally takes the dog for a day out, a (pup friendly) meal, a run around the park, a new toy, and finally a fancy ass treat when you’re all back home together

2 scottish terriers

- would not choose to own a dog per say, he basically is one doesn’t need another

- you already had dogs when you started dating and he would never ask you to get rid of them, they were your babies and you made that clear when you blabbered about them non stop your first date

- never saw himself settling down so seriously so he didn’t think much of it

- now he lives with two dogs, scottish terriers funny enough

- acts like he doesn’t like them

- calls them tweedledee and tweedledum

- definitely frantically researches if the dogs can have a bite of his dinner and gives them some if they can. not because the food is bad but because its so good he wants them to experience it too

- new dog toys keep appearing that you didn’t buy but soap insists it wasn’t him

- gets jealous when they’re on your lap getting all your attention

- you have to pet him too

- you went on a trip once and he stayed with the dogs, when you came back they were all sleeping in your bed

dalmatian

- no rhyme or reason for this one he just gives me a dalmatian vibe

- would probably have a male dog named pongo like from 101 dalmatians

- got the dog before you met i think

- loves playing fetch with him

- takes the dog on runs regularly

- absolutely dresses him up for halloween

- brags about your dog a lot

- probably has a pic of you and the dog sleeping as his lock screen or something

- pls take pics of the dog to send to him while he’s deployed or to show him when he gets home

dachshund

- you guys adopted him together a little after you first were engaged

- he named it zerstörer ( destroyer )

- runt of the litter

- definitely buys him little shirts

- “zerstörer nein!! drop my mask!!”

- has lost many masks to zerstörer

- this dog is a menace but könig loves him

- zerstörer runs your house like an evil monarch

- “mein schatz you can’t be mad at him…he is so little and cute…”

- pray you don’t have kids bc you guys will be walked all over by them könig is a sucker

- actually gets upset when someone calls him a wiener dog

- “nein. zerstörer is no wiener.😒😒”

- carrying him around all sassy like

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ltghosty · 7 months

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If only you would have trusted me (Simon "Ghost" Riley ﾒ Female "Cobra" Sergeant)

A/N: MW 3 broke me, don't talk to me

Summary: Makarov blackmailed you into joining his army and Task Force 141 thinks you betrayed them without hesitation. Once Ghost and Soap find Milena and you, Ghost finally confronts you about letting him down.

Warnings: curse, angst, guilt, fight, betrayal,

Wordcount: 4.7k

”I thought I was someone whom you could trust because you can be sure as hell that I still trust you with my life. Whether you like it or not."

You knew this moment was coming once Laswell had let you know that Makarov escaped the gulag and was on the move.

You didn’t want it to happen but your job wasn’t famous for making guarantees. Especially with crazy terrorists who wouldn’t stop until the world fell to its knees in front of them.

And Makarov was just like that.

Ruthless, smart, cruel and unpredictable.

While running from location to location, you started to feel getting lost. There were too many dead ends while Makarov was playing with Task Force 141 as he’d wished.

Ghost noticed how much you’d changed since Makarov broke out and wasted no time in getting his hands dirty.

You’d heard stories of him before Price and Soap managed to capture him once 4 years ago which ended in agony and cost a lot of innocent lives. You’d dealt with all kinds of criminals who wanted to build their throne out of corpses but Makarov was by far the worst and most dangerous one.

With each mission you’d went to with the others, the less your voice could be heard. You were silent and kept checking every corner while wondering how could you finally make a step forward.

There were times when you were seated with Ghost and his favorite sniper to watch the others’ back, and while laying on the ground for hours, the lieutenant tried to get you to talk but you weren’t too bulged.

You hadn’t noticed because you were too focused on your task but Ghost always kept an eye on you when you were in his sight. He’d seen this kind of dedication before, so he understood where your change of heart had come from but he didn’t want you to completely forget who you truly were before.

He’d hated to admit but he would have done anything to bring you back to the surface. It’s been too long since he had heard your laugh or seen your beautiful smile. Hell, he even started to miss those moments when you’d happily join Soap and push his buttons while making fun of Brits.

Ghost couldn’t stand your silence, he liked listening to your voice even while you were only making small chats with him through the coms.

What Ghost had never expected – or anyone else for that matter – was you suddenly disappearing without a word and hearing from a source that you’ve been seen on Makarov’s side.

At first, he was confused and kept denying it but when Price told him that it wasn’t some sort of plan for you to get involved with the Russians, Ghost felt like someone punched him in the chest.

You’d left willingly without a word, and the next thing he knew, you were working under the hands of the enemy.

He was overwhelmed with your betrayal, he was sad, furious, and desperate to find an explanation for your treachery.

What Ghost and the others didn’t know was that Makarov had his eye on you since he escaped from the gulag. Firmly, because you knew Milena from before, and she knew that you were an unstoppable sergeant.

Makarov wanted to break Task Force 141 from the inside before he would grab a gun to put a bullet into everyone’s head, so he ordered his men to do their research on you.

It didn’t take them too long to find your family, even though you tried your best over the years to make it seem like you didn’t have them. You’d never once talked to anyone about your sister and mother who always waited for you to go home, who were always worried about you whenever you departed and had been gone for months while fighting terrorists.

For the first time in your life you didn’t know what to do, you wanted to tell Price and the others that Makarov had captured your family and gave you no choice but the Russian’s intentions were crystal clear. If you’d told anyone about this, he’d kill your family and would blame it all on Task Force 141.

You even thought about telling Ghost that Makarov had found you and backed you in the corner but you knew if the lieutenant would have found out about any of this, he’d never let you go.

Ever since you joined Makarov, the guilt has been eating you from inside, especially whenever your friends’ name was thrown around as Makarov was planning his next move.

Makarov has been calling you ’Rynda’ ever since you gave yourself up to him which you absolutely despised. Since you were his only living connection to Task Force 141, he’d given you the task of always letting him know what the special forces’s next move might be.

”Like the bell ringing when danger is around the corner,” Makarov had said back then with a wicked smile on his lips. ”I don’t want you to disappoint me, Rynda.”

”I won’t.”

Your words might have caused satisfaction in the man but your tongue was burning with the forced promise you’d had to make to him. Your skin was crawling each time he touched you and his voice crept through your ears like venom.

You hated being Milena’s present. Makarov didn’t want any women on the battlefield but he admired your strength and skills, so he ordered you to always stick to Milena and watch her back. Without his financial support, he would have had some problems getting into this whole capture-or-kill scenario.

Milena always made a sound of her whines about how she hated that you were practically babysitting her. Don’t worry, I hate it too, you’d thought.

Whenever you were alone you missed the guys, missed Price being a father figure to you, missed Gaz making fun of your looks after a horribly executed plan, missed Soap teaching you Scottish, and missed Ghost for… for being himself and keeping you under his wing.

”I admire your dedication, really,” Milena called from the other side of the room.

”Do you?”

Milena glanced up from her papers and searched your face.

”Yes, I’m surprised you betrayed your people right away and did everything Vladimir ordered you to.”

”He didn’t give me much of a choice, did he?” you asked and crossed your arms. You hated that she was able to think that you betrayed your second family easily while in reality, it was wearing you down in every way possible.

You were sure you’d never be able to look into their eyes if you saw them again.

”He knows how to win people over.”

You cleared your throat and narrowed your eyes.

”Or to force them to do something that would benefit him.”

Milena was one delusional woman, you were sure of that. You hated how spineless she was and how easily she could get under your skin within seconds.

If Makarov wasn’t so intimidating then you would have already punched her whenever she said a bad word to you. You would have enjoyed it for sure.

Gunshots and shouting emerged from the other side of the building which made you tense right away.

”What the hell?” Milena asked as she stood up and walked to the wall where the security cameras were shown.

You took a few steps, examining the figures that appeared, and felt the color drain from your face.

You wished you would have mistook them for someone else but after serving with them for years, there was no way you wouldn’t recognize them.

It was Soap and Ghost.

Your heart was hammering in your chest, and your stomach turned when you saw Soap getting closer and closer to the door that stood behind you.

With trembling hands, you grabbed your gun and spun on your heel just when the Scots opened the door.

”Special forces, show your hands!”

Raising your guns at the same time, you faced your best friend whose eyes softened the second they found you.

”Cobra…”

It’s been so long since anyone called you that, you almost dropped your gun.

Then you forced yourself to remember your family whose life was on you and how you act now, so you tightened your grip on the cold metal.

”I’d advise you to turn around and leave, Soap.”

Soap lowered his gun while his face dropped in sadness. Your voice was cold and distant, something you’d never used toward him before. You’d only given this treatment to your enemies.

”That’s not going to happen, you know it.”

”I’ll shoot you,” you said, trying to hide your nervousness as he kept your stare.

”You won’t.”

Gritting your teeth, you took a step forward, keeping the gun at him as Milena looked at you in fury.

”What are you waiting for? Shoot him for fuck’s sake!”

No matter how hard you tried, your finger couldn’t touch the trigger. Your heart didn’t let that happen.

Memories flooded and invaded your mind as you looked at John MacTavish who was your favorite partner in crime. Moments of him making you laugh and calming you down after losing a battle made your hands shake in defeat.

You didn’t want to do any of this but you had no choice.

When Soap realized you were not going to shoot him, he let out a small sigh, grabbed one of the chairs, and pushed it forward, his eyes finding Milena.

”Sit.”

You didn’t want to admit but you missed the way Soap could talk coldly to those who were on the other side.

”Fuck you.” Milena spat in hatred.

Soap kept his gaze and gun firmly, his voice leaving no room for argument.

”Sit down, Milena.”

Milena gave you a deadly glare before dropping her hands and taking a seat. You couldn’t say a word, it seemed like your voice ceased to exist.

”Where is your boss?” Soap asked sharply.

”I don’t have a boss. No one tells me what to do.” Milena said and you almost scoffed. Only if her words were true.

Soap glared at her for a while before turning around when heavy footsteps broke the silence. You lowered your hands, sweat appearing on your skin as you noticed a familiar tall figure moving in the shadows.

Soap turned around when Ghost walked through the door with a laptop in his hand.

”She’s not talking.”

As Ghost’s familiar dark eyes met yours, he stopped walking and you felt your heart skip a beat. Just like every other time he’d looked at you, you felt exposed and small.

Ghost’s eyes never left you as you tried to catch your breath. His eyes held many emotions, such as surprise, melancholy, and distance.

You hated the way he was looking at you like you were someone else. Like you weren’t someone who was close to him like you weren’t the sergeant who was never afraid to be honest and open with him.

Before you could realize that there was nowhere to run from him, he blinked and walked over to the table.

”She’s about to,” he grunted and put the laptop down on the table, and walked to the other side of the room.

Not wanting to look into his eyes again, you focused on Soap who opened the white laptop and extended his hand to Milena who was sitting still like a rock.

”Give me your hand.”

”Why? Or else you’ll cut it off?” Milena asked.

”Your friend over there knows that it’s true when I say to you that it’s not my style,” Soap said glancing at you from the corner of his eyes. Then tilted his head in Ghost’s direction. ”He might.”

Milena seemed to lose her patience with each second that passed by.

”Why the mask?” she snapped.

You almost rolled your eyes at the question you seemed to hear a million times.

”To hide my face.” Ghost answered with cold eyes.

You were surprised he answered even though it was an obvious and useless response.

You felt Ghost’s eyes finding you again, making your skin burn as you dropped your gaze. You were intimidated by his presence and not because you were afraid of him but because you knew for sure that you hurt his feelings when you left.

You wished you weren’t here to live through this unwanted confrontation. A part of you was happy to see them but your heart was aching by the disappointed and hurtful looks you received from them.

”Cobra.” Ghost called after you as you turned your head away. His voice reached your bones immediately and you hated how much you missed your callsign falling off his lips.

”Don’t call me that,” you said dryly, turning back to him.

Ghost gave you a challenging look as he pushed himself away from the wall and closed the distance between you two. With each step he took, you felt your chest tighten with anticipation and guilt. You wanted to look somewhere else but he firmly held your gaze.

He always did and that hasn’t changed.

”How about we give these two birds a few minutes to find a way to cooperate with each other?” Ghost asked and you felt your eyes widen.

”I’m not leaving Milena.”

Ghost gave you a meaningful look and took the gun from your hand with such ease that wasn’t surprising to either of you.

”Yes, you are.”

Remembering that you weren’t supposed to leave Milena’s sight for even a second, you felt panic and annoyance wash over you.

”You can’t just order me around. Not anymore.” You said in a cold tone that made Ghost shift in his place.

Without saying a word, he grabbed your elbow and pulled you with him as he made his way to the other door that led to another empty room.

”Hey! Get your fucking hand off of me!” You shouted in frustration and tried to free yourself from his grasp but Ghost easily dragged you with him through the door and kicked it shut with his foot.

You let out a desperate groan as you grabbed his wrist, trying to pry it off of your arm which seemed tiny compared to his.

You bit into your lower lip as you tried your best to move his fingers but he wasn’t moving an inch.

”Cobra…” his voice was calmer and more thoughtful now that you were alone with him.

You didn’t look at him, only let out a defeated sigh and stopped fighting, your skin slightly aching.

”This hurts.”

Ghost glanced down at his hand still holding onto you and let go of you the second you’d admitted your physical pain. Hurting you was something he never intended to do.

Hissing, you brought your arm to your chest and touched it with your other hand, and turned away from him. You didn’t trust yourself when he was alone with you.

”What are you doing, Cobra?” Ghost asked from behind you and you closed your eyes. Hearing confusion and disappointment hiding in his voice made you feel guiltier than before.

”That’s none of your concern anymore, Ghost.” You replied still facing the wall.

Taking deep breaths you tried your best to collect your thoughts as you heard him walk closer to you, dropping your gun to the table standing next to you.

”It is.”

His voice circled around you like clouds darkening the sky before the storm.

”Why did you leave?”

You pressed your lips against each other and turned around. You got used to his menacing presence coming firstly from his height. You felt small and weak because you knew he could see right through you.

”People change, Lieutenant. You better get used to it.”

”People change that’s for sure. But don’t betray and stab others in the back just like that. A decision like this never comes from a single thought.”

You hated how much he tried to get into your mind, still trying to find answers to his questions that have probably been burning in him since the day you left.

”I refuse to believe that after everything that happened, you’d willingly just switch sides, I know you. And I know how much you despise traitors,” his eyes never left you as he was speaking.

You didn’t say a word, not when you were on the edge of breaking down.

”Talk to me, Cobra.” Ghost said, his voice quiet.

”I can’t,” you shook your head. ”Why don’t you just do your job and get out of here?”

”I’m not leaving until you say something to me.”

”There is nothing for me to say, especially to you.”

Ghost felt his chest tighten at your coldness. He would have never expected you to speak to him this way. Not after how long it took for you two to finally let your guard down around each other.

”Don’t say things you don’t mean.”

”I do, Ghost. Believe it or not, I’m not part of the special forces anymore, so either shoot me or get out of my face.”

”You really think I’d hurt you?” he asked, his voice low and sad.

”You eliminate targets and now I’m one too,” you crossed your arms, trying to look confident.

”I know why you’re pushing me,” he narrowed his eyes. ”And I know for sure that you didn’t betray us because you felt like you could. I know there is something behind all of this that you refuse to tell me.”

You didn’t answer and that was more than enough for him to confirm his theory about you.

”What happened, Cobra?”

”I left and now I’m one of Makarov’s people, that’s what happened!”

You were desperate to try to get him out of here because your heart was breaking with each word that was exchanged between you two.

”No, don’t even say that. I know who you are.”

”You don’t, Simon. Just get over it and let me go,” you snapped and his gaze dropped for a brief second. You didn’t even realize at first that you called him by his real name until you saw the change in his eyes.

It seemed like your words had made a final straw in Simon’s heart. You hated yourself for talking to him like that and you wished you could go back to them, to him, and forget about this nightmare you’d fallen into.

”I thought I was someone whom you could trust because you can be sure as hell that I still trust you with my life. Whether you like it or not."

His words made more impact on you than they should have. They meant the world to you and knowing that even after turning your back on him, he still trusted you and wanted you to go back.

”I trusted you.”

Trusted you. Past tense which didn’t go unnoticed by him.

”You didn’t if you could leave me like I was nothing to you.” Ghost confronted you with raw honesty, not even hiding the fact of how much your decision had pained him.

”It wasn’t easy,” you admitted, hugging your stomach and your eyes filling with unwanted tears. You hated if someone saw the vulnerable side of you, you hated being vulnerable but around Ghost, you knew he wouldn’t use your pain against you. Never.

Ghost stepped closer to you, making it impossible to look at anything else but him. When he heard your voice tremble and saw your eyes become glossy, he knew he meant something to you after all.

Lifting his hand, he put his index finger under your jaw and made you look at him. His eyes mirrored his emotions as he watched you slowly letting go of the invisible mask you’d hidden behind.

”You don’t need to keep anything from me, Cobra. Have I ever broken your trust and let you down?”

You swallowed the lump in your throat as a lonely tear escaped and rolled down on your hot skin.

When you slowly shook your head, he dipped his to your level.

”Then tell me. Please.”

Swallowing your doubts, you took a shaky breath, his hand still on you.

”He’ll kill me.”

”I won’t let that happen,” Ghost promised it without a second thought.

The words were on the tip of your tongue, almost jumping down. You hated to keep secrets from anyone, especially from Simon who had proven himself worthy of your trust more than once.

”Cobra, I can’t help if you don’t let me,” he continued with sad eyes and wiped your face.

It surprised you how a tall giant like him who had a name for his ruthless methods and interrogation scenes, could act so soft and careful with you.

It was hard to believe that the hand that was confronting you and wiping away your tears had killed so many people before.

With your lower lip quivering, you felt your fear taking over you, making your knees shake. Ghost watched you with worried eyes as you let out a sob you couldn’t hold back anymore and jumped into his arms, hiding your face into his neck.

As you wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders, you felt the heat coming off of his body, his tenseness slowly fading away once he’d realized what you were doing.

Ghost embraced your hug, his big arms wrapping around you like a shield, silently promising to keep you safe. He felt your scent filling his nose and his heart slowing down as your bodies pressed against each other’s.

”He has my family, Simon. He’ll kill them if I don’t obey his orders,” you sobbed in pure panic, your small hands holding onto him.

Ghost exhaled and tightened his grip around you, his head dropping onto yours with ease.

”Shh… I’m here,” he scooted you as you let your tears fall onto his gear.

”I couldn’t tell anyone and he made me swear to leave you or else…”

Ghost didn’t say it was okay or that it would be all right. Because he wasn’t sure if he could keep his promise if he’d told you something you wanted to hear at the moment.

So, he just kept you in his arms and rubbed your back while his heart came to peace now that he knew the real reason why you left them.

”I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…”

”Hey, hey…” Ghost pulled you away slightly so that he could look into your eyes.

When you glanced up at him, his eyes didn’t make you feel anxious like a few minutes ago, they made you realize you weren’t alone and that he wasn’t blaming you for anything.

”Don’t be sorry, family comes first.” Ghost answered. ”You did what you have to, I understand.”

”But you’re also my family,” you whispered in a defeated tone and his eyes softened.

”It’s okay, Cobra. I’m not mad, I could never be mad at you,” he admitted and pulled you into his chest, his hand caressing your hair.

You sniffed and hid your face in his chest, wishing you could wake up from this nightmare.

But unfortunately, you were awake. You have been this whole time and there was no turning back from now.

”I wish you would have told me without running away,” he said quietly. ”I understand why you did it, I just wish you would have told me.”

”I wanted to,” you admitted, your voice small and vulnerable.

”Why didn’t you then?” he asked, still holding you against his chest.

You sighed and wiped your flushed face, your other hand still around his waist.

”I was afraid you wouldn’t have let me leave.”

”You’re fucking right I wouldn’t have let you do that,” he agreed immediately, causing you to giggle.

Ghost felt warmness fill his chest at your almost laugh, making it easier for him to breathe now that you were in his arms and let yourself smile.

He missed you, a lot.

”I trust you, Simon. You know, I do.”

He hummed as he let his fingertips dance on your skin a little.

”It was hard to believe otherwise when I woke up to you missing one day.”

The familiar feeling of guilt made your expression drop and your brows furrow. You really wished things would have been different.

You hated yourself for making Ghost feel like he didn’t mean anything to you. You hated yourself for making him almost lose his faith in you.

”I’d tell you that you’re coming back with us but something tells me you won’t.”

You stepped away from him, letting go of his torso with defeated eyes.

”He’ll kill them, I can’t go with you,” you said sadly. You’d never felt so lost and desperate before and Simon could see that in your eyes.

”So, what…” his voice trailed off. ”You’re just going to stay by his side and do whatever the fuck he wants you to?”

”It’s not like I want to work for him, Simon. But I have no choice.”

”We’ll figure something out,” he replied.

You sighed and ran your fingers through your hair in frustration.

”You can’t, you know it.”

Ghost shook his head. ”No, there has to be a way… We have to do something before he kills you.”

”I appreciate your concern but there’s nothing you can do for me,” you whispered in a hoarse voice.

Ghost stared at you while hundreds of thoughts had run through his mind, wondering if there was a way he could help you. Hoping he could say or do something that would make you feel better.

”I have to do something… I can’t lose you again, I won’t.”

His words made your heart almost jump out of your chest while he massaged the back of his neck. You felt physically weak at the plea of his voice while he was trying to find a solution.

But there was none.

Not when Makarov had his chains on you like on a dog.

”I’ll be fine, just go.”

Ghost looked at you with hesitation.

”I can’t, Cobra. What if I won’t see you again?”

Wiping your eyes, you took a shaky breath. Him trying to get you out of this just made the whole situation more unbearable.

”We knew what we were signing up for when we joined the special forces, Lt.”

Ghost felt his heart starting to ache in sadness as he took your defeated and exhausted sight in. You weren’t the woman who once made a race with him about getting more kills on a mission or not.

You were only a shadow of yourself and he hated to see you this way.

He would have done anything to be able to take you back with him to the base and never let you go.

It terrified him how lost he’d felt when you left the team, he could still remember how he’d stare at the ceiling of his room, wondering if he’d ever see you again.

”Don’t talk like that, Cobra.” Ghost scolded you. ”Now is not the time.”

”You know I might end up getting killed after all.”

”Don’t.” Ghost said in a stern voice, his body tensing at your words. ”Nobody is dying. Not on my watch and I’m going to keep my word.”

It made you feel better to know that Ghost didn’t hold anything against you. Your soul found peace now that he knew the why behind your decisions and betrayal. It killed you that you couldn’t go home with him and Soap.

Ghost stepped closer to you and waited for you to look into his dark eyes that led you directly to his soul.

”I’m going to get you out of this, Cobra. I promise. I’m not leaving anyone behind, especially you.”

His promise made you forget the danger that was around the corner and just for a brief second you were happy to let yourself believe what Ghost was saying.

”You better not to, lieutenant.”

Ghost huffed and touched the side of your face, his thumb softly caressing your skin. Closing your eyes, you leaned into his touch and forgot how to breathe for a moment.

Simon Riley was famous for a lot of things and keeping his promise was one of them. That was the only thing that helped you come to peace with the things you were forced to do in order to protect your family.

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jackietaylorsversion · 9 months

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Soulmates.

I was in a discord server earlier, and we got to talking about the Yellowjackets as soulmates, and I thought I'd share those thoughts here, just a nice little put together catalogue of all those thoughts put together. I might add to this, too, as more pairings and relationships come to me.

For the record, I want to point out that I think that all of these characters are soulmates, far beyond ship dynamics, far beyond romance. What makes up the insides of one makes up the insides of the others because they are all the same: teenage girls trapped in either growing or decaying bodies. Their souls are all mated to the others in some way or another.

Tai and Van are a pair. Two separate souls that are a part of a matched set, like socks. They can be worn mismatched, certainly, but they really are at their best together. Tai gives Van a purpose. Van calms Tai's "demons." They can exist without each other, live without each other, love without each other, but they just are at their best together.

Lottie and Nat are that sort of star-crossed soulmates, doomed soulmates. There's a red string of fate but its severed somewhere in the middle. They can be good for each other, laugh and smile and hold each other close. They can be the worst of each other, holding knives to each other's throats, laughing in the face of it. They're the epitome of a missed chance. What kind of missed chance? That's up for you to decide.

Misty and Nat are the kind of soulmates that don't seem like they'd match, but they work so good together. The believer and the skeptic (though who is who changes with the circumstance, the belief, the skepticism). Orange and blue. Salt and sweet. Chaotic good and lawful evil. They're diametrically opposed but in a way that makes sense, in a way that works together. They each feed off of what makes the other their opposite. One is running, the other is chasing. Of course one would die at the hand of the other.

Lottie and Laura Lee are the kind of soulmates where each thinks they are the worshipper while the other is the god. A prophet, a believer, a worship under the sun. Souls that just burn brighter around each other (and that pun was unintentional the first time but very intentional with the emphasis). Both want to help the other. Both want to hold the other. They are belief without boundaries personified. Each is Icarus. Each is the sun.

Tai and Shauna are soulmates in a way that recognizes "That is my person." Two people that have so much in common, who understand each other, who both recognize the want in the other. They have an understanding and a care for each other that's fierce. I see you, you see me, ad it might not be pretty, but we will be honest with each other. Especially as the two of them have aged; time has not erased their understanding of one another.

Jackie and Nat are soulmates in a way that isn't explored a lot in the show but has been discussed, from what I've seen, really well. Foils. Two sides of the same coin. Opposites. Rich girl, poor girl. Prude, slut. There are certain stereotypes around both of them that, from a glance, seem to play out. One only needs to look deeper to really see it. Unfortunately, from the show, we never really see the two of them see past their expectations of each other.

Jackie and Shauna. Two heads, one heart. I don't know where you end and I begin and all that. We've been there, we've done that. We know it by heart. They're not a pair because a pair implies separation, and there is none. You can cut out your heart, and you can even replace it, but it's never the same. They're two shattered halves of the same fucked up whole. When one piece is gone, the hole cannot be filled properly ever again. There are some species of worms that, when worm cut in half, can keep living as two separate entities. That does not negate the fact that it was once one whole creature. They're unhealthy together. They're unnatural apart. One did not live long enough to remedy either of these facts.

(If Jackie's heart was still beating, I know it would beat in time with Shauna's. I hope Shauna ate it to feel it beat with hers one last time.)

#yellowjackets #jackie taylor #shauna shipman #taissa turner #van palmer #natalie scatorccio #lottie matthews #misty fucking quigley #misty quigley #laura lee yellowjackets #yellowjackets meta #I'm sure I'll add more to this eventually #jackieshauna #taivan #taishauna #lottienat #lottielee #mistynat #jackienat

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misasimagines · 9 months

Text

Alhaitham Smut ABCs

included characters: Alhaitham

rating: NSFW!

warnings: this man is NOT good for you. some toxicity on his end, he's not treating you right (until later,, but I barely wrote about that). Power dynamics not awesome. Dom/sub dynamics. written with the thought of a femme reader so not completely GN but the presumed reader is not strictly gendered. Just keep that in mind! this is insanely long! I'm a freak!

Aftercare: (what they're like after sex): At first, awful. He's like okay, I have to up for work tomorrow. Here's your underwear. Leave. He gets softer (begrudgingly) after a while, especially if he really did a number on you and you're like brain dead. Then, he's like convincing himself you won't even really remember this so he can take care of you. You get your hair pet and he lets you cuddle up to him after he cleans you up (and scolds you for making a mess, but it's not serious, he knows it takes two). Once you're in a legit relationship (HARD MODE, TERRIBLE RNG) he'll start being nicer. You get to have a shower/bath together and he'll actually kiss you and tell you that you did a good job.

Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner's): He likes his hands. He would shove his fingers in your mouth to avoid having to kiss you. Likes making you suck on them and plays with your tongue and makes you drool all over yourself so he can degrade you about it,,,. Related, but he likes your mouth/lips. At first he really does NOT want to kiss you. It's too intimate, it's too much of an admittance that your relationship is beyond just sexual. When you finally do get him to want a real romantic relationship, he's kind of staved by then to kiss you and will do it as often as possible.

Cum (anything to do with cum basically): Yeah so he likes making you keep your mouth open, tongue out when he finishes after a blowjob. You should savor it, after all. He's not super in face shots or breeding because this man is NOT risking getting you knocked up if that's possible. Just prefers to cum in your mouth/on your tongue and make you leave it there while he goes down on you or fingers you. Literally would be pavlov'ing you into associating the taste with your own orgasm because he's the WORST.

Dirty secret: Honestly it's the moment he realizes he wants something more serious with you and he actually has feelings for you. He does want to kiss you, he wants to wake up next to you and treat you better and stop being so pragmatic and selfish. The idea gets him really hot but also upset because he wasn't ready to deal with that. It'll be another month or more before he deals with what this actually means.

Experience: He's had a few partners, probably strictly sexual relationships. He convinces himself (and them) that it's just a way to blow off steam, kill time, research (lmao). Probably held back any of his less vanilla preferences so you would be the first he really gets to let loose on (I mean, congrats?)

Favorite position: Bending you over something or just having you face down, ass up. He doesn't want you thinking this is romantic or serious, he doesn't want you to reach up and try to kiss him or anything. When things get more serious/romantic, he's like having you on your back so he can watch your expressions change and so he can keep you (both) quiet with his mouth on yours.

Goofy (are they more serious in the moment, or are they serious, etc): Deadass serious. The most "jokey" he gets is sarcastically praising you. It's degrading but you're too brain dead to get it at the moment.

Hair (how well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes?): honestly if its grey and teal down there i gotta rewrite the above because how are you going to take him seriously like that

Intimacy (how are they during the moment, romantic aspect...): It's just to get off at first. He doesn't want to kiss you because that's too romantic and he does NOT want that. He doesn't want to cuddle after, he doesn't want breakfast in the morning, he doesn't want you talking to him the next day like you're any closer than you were before he railed you. Eventually though, he's like .... fine. You can stay over. If it makes you happy, you can put your head on my chest. Jut don't get used to it. Even later, he's talking to you after and he's like okay, this doesn't suck, and then late game he's like, just stay the night (he kind of wants you to be there when he wakes up).

Jack off (masturbation headcanon): He takes his time. He'll read something smutty or just imagine something and lay in bed and edge himself for a bit. Probably also does it in the shower because it drowns out any sounds he might make and there's no risk of Kaveh walking in on him.

Kink: Light bondage (of you, not him) and prefers you brain dead and agreeable. He's a Dom through and through and wants you to just do what he says and take what he gives you. He'll want you to beg so he can deny you. Wants you so on edge you'll promise and agree to anything and he WILL be holding you to that. Like oh, you don't want to honor your agreement? Maybe he'll keep that in mind next time you're begging him to let you finish and promising anything, because it certainly wasn't anything last time you said that.

Location: Bedroom, office, library. The thrill of the more public places (his office and the library) get him going because he doesn't particularly care if someone catches you, but he knows you probably would.

Motivation (what turns them on): He had such a bad day, just let him use you,,, You did something stupid/messed something up? Well, he already thinks you're halfway to being brainless, he'll take care of the other half. You can suck on his fingers and/or run your hands up his chest and he's ready to ruin you. He also goes through phases where he's just not interested and you need to leave him be. He'll make it clear when he doesn't want that kind of attention, but if you're really in the mood and he isn't, he's not against talking you through taking care of yourself...

NO (something they won't do, turn offs): He's really not into letting you dom him. You could maybe top him but like ordering him around? Denying him? He's not happy with that. Sorry </3. He's also not into brat taming. If you become more trouble than you're worth, that's it. He's not putting more effort than necessary into keeping a relationship with you. Don't try to make him jealous or possessive, he does not care. And then when he does start caring? When he does have an interest in you because he loves you??? Now he's just unhappy because you're trying to use that against him and you're kind of just proving that he's better off not in this kind of relationship. Hypocritical giving his initial treatment of you.

Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc): Prefers receiving, he's selfish. Likes to see you on your knees trying to fit him in your mouth. Loves cumming in your mouth. Not super rough, but will make you gag on him if you were particularly annoying recently. Going down on you is more rare (until you're in a real relationship) like you have to earn it and/or beg for it. And then it's like a deal with a devil, you get more than you asked for. Once you're in a real relationship, he's is more interested in giving and particularly likes being on his knees while you're backed up against a bookcase in a dead silent library. You don't want to get caught, do you? So keep it down.

Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc): He can be a bit rough. I've said this throughout, but he is NOT trying to date you for the majority of this relationship. If he has to be meaner to try to prevent you both from catching feelings, he will be. He doesn't want to praise you, kiss you, take his time, etc, because he's actively NOT trying to make you feel valued. Red flag!! If you get the good ending, he can be slower and softer but it actually kind of makes him uncharacteristically flustered like... what do you mean enjoying the moment and not just getting results? He's not sure how to deal with that.

Quickie: Sometimes it's just what you have to do. He refuses to work overtime and any more than necessary but still, sometimes he can't get around it. And other times, he's just taking his law required break and you happened to visit him/be in the area so....

Risk (are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc): He's a big fan of you being his under the desk support <3 He can make himself look presentable after demolishing you over his desk, so he doesn't care, and it doesn't bother him if you're a wreck with cum dripping down your legs. Clean yourself up. He will try things within reason, man has a WEALTH of ideas and books with some insane things that he's curious about. If you agree to be his guinea pig, seriously you have no clue what you're getting into.

Stamina (how many rounds, how long do they last): this bookworm works out at the library AND the gym, have you SEEN his arms? He's lasting!!! But even when he's tapped out, he might not be finished.... tbc in the next :3

Toy (do they own toys? do they used them on a partner? themselves?) he WILL leave you tied up with a vibrator up to your most sensitive parts because he claims you're so needy and clingy, this is the best way to give you all the attention you're desperate for. Beg for him to turn it off when you're overstimulated and he'll tell you to finish again before he will, but then you do, and he's like? Oh? If you were able to get off again, maybe you're not done and I should leave you like that. Will also set you up with a dildo suctioned to the floor/mirror honestly/etc and tell you to get yourself off while he's busy or uninterested. If you stop or you're not putting your all into it, he's like hmm, guess you didn't actually need the stimulation, I feel less inclined to help.

Unfair (how much they like to tease): [big sigh] He's selfish and primarily wants to get himself off at first, but he also realizes he needs to give you a reason to come back. He also KIND of wants you to be at his beck and call so he'll make sure you're plenty satisfied at the end of your trysts. All, of course, to make you feel like you need him to get you off. Red flag! Otherwise, yes, he likes teasing and making you beg. He enjoys it and he knows the payoff is better when you had to want it so much more.

Volume (how loud are they): Pretty quiet with moans/groans/etc most of the time but he's DIRTY TALKING like crazy. He loves to call you desperate, to say you're more of a whore than he realized and what it would be like if all of your friends and coworkers knew what you got up to on your free time. He knows that most people care about their reputation and peoples' perceptions of them, so he likes to throw that back at you mainly because he does feel superior for not caring. The best you'll get from him when you're staring up at him, cum coating your tongue, eyelashes sparkly with tears, waiting for him to give you permission to swallow, is a kind of thoughtful look and maybe, just MAYBE, he'll call you a good girl/boy/pet.

Wild card: He's not in exhibitionism himself but if someone were to talk in on you tied up, shaking, vibrator up in you/against you? He'll make them leave but it's fine if they get a good look first. This is still his show, but it's fine if they envy him.

X-ray (whats going on in those pants): the in game model speaks for itself. countless minutes of research have lead me to believe that it is sizeable. Bigger than average, not much of a curve or anything.

Yearning (how high is their sex drive?): He goes through phases. Sometimes he's wants to be left alone for a week straight and then the next he's like trying to actively drop your IQ from the amount of brain cells he's fucking out of you.

ZZZ (how fast they fall asleep after): Not super fast. Probably stays up for a bit afterwards. Reads in bed or takes and shower and relaxes. He really isn't one to fall asleep with you until you've been in this relationship for a while and he's like, fuck. I'm in too deep, I can't keep throwing them out. And then he catches himself admitting you do look kind of endearing in your sleep. By then he's done for.

#genshin smut #alhaitham smut #alhaitham x reader #ah. i am degenerate #whew just in time for sumeru to be long since irrelevant LMAO #sorry i'm employed it's really the worst thing that could happen to a girl

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glassrowboat · 3 months

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Lounge Music. Gallagher.

Summary: A bar singer, that's all she was supposed to be, but instead, the girl became a right pain in his ass with every passing day as Gallagher only grows fonder and fonder of her.

Word count: 1600+

Written pre-release.

The plan, originally anyhow, was to improve the atmosphere. The bar has its regulars, the patrons that always come crawling back, but being able to draw more people on with something new has its benefits. That's what Gallagher was thinking anyway as he posted a ‘we're hiring’ sign right out front for a singer willing to work in a bar.

At first he was expecting wide eyed young ladies coming through hoping to get any shot at being on stage, to have their voice heard, and admittedly that is what he got in a way. Only two applicants showed up. A bubbly little thing who was excitedly talking about using this to make her big break and the other girl who’s first impression was to sit down and tell him he will hire her.

Well, it certainly left an impression. Enough of one to tell Gallagher that she would be a pain in his behind if he did hire her, and oh boy was he right.

○He does not appreciate your constant teasing about him looking like the type of guy to call a girl dame, especially as you pretend to hold a cigarette up to your lips to take a long drag to really sell the bit. Worst part is when he went home that night, hand ruffling through his hair in pure exhaustion as he closed the front door right behind him only to be met by his tired and worn expression and Gallagher couldn't even deny you had a point. Dammit.

○Though on that note the bar used to be a smoke where you want place as he didn't see the point in knocking that behavior out of his customers when Gallagher is guilty of such behavior himself, but that changed after you were hired. A smoking section specifically being set up in the part of the bar furthest from the stage, the sign something he taps out now when he sees a customer pull out a lighter. Did he do this because you wouldn't stop pretending to cough every time he lit a cigarette for himself? Maybe. At least it gets you to stop being so dramatic every five seconds.

○You've introduced him to more music and artists than not. Gallagher had gotten so used to the radio playing the same few songs again and again on repeat that he'd be sick of them, so when you came in with something new ( that you're playing on his phone for some reason rather than your own) it was more like a godsend than anything. Finally, some variety.

○Gallagher will always make sure you have a glass of water right beside you in case you ever need it. He's not sure how much of a strain singing all night would even put on you, but it's definitely something, right? Especially when you have to do exercises before even going out there.

○He won't make a remark about how your voice sounds a little hoarse after each night, not even once, but if your voice cracks one time while you're singing it's going to be held over your head for weeks. Payback is a bitch and you have to deal with it. Not like it will stop your teasing though.

○Gal will not entertain your requests to sing with you, not even as you try to drag him on stage. Funny that you thought it'd even work, but good on you for having goals. Any time you ask it's always met with an “I hired you for a reason.”

○He does not keep up with trends at all so if you decide to sing a tik tok song it will fly right over this man's head. Use this information as you will.

○You're allowed to hide behind the bar if you ever feel the need to. He'll even keep an eye on you between the drinks he makes and customers coming up with orders to make sure no one is bothering you. At first he only did this as he tried to figure out how people would respond to this change, trying to see if they liked the live music or not, but somehow it just became second nature over time. Well, maybe not ‘somehow.’ More like when he noticed you cussing someone who was clearly a few drinks too many in pestering you.

○He has never heard a woman call another person a bitch in heat that needs to go fuck a lamppost so the can leave her alone until that day and he still finds himself laughing about it on a rare occasion.

○But yeah, anytime you want you're free to come hide behind the bar with him. It's more common than not on days when there's less people coming in, just a few faces that stick to their seats with a drink in hand as you pester him over something. Again. On one such day Gallagher took one of the drink shakers and tried to teach you a trick or two, the simplest ones he knows just to waste time. It shouldn't be that hard, right? Well that was apparently wrong as the shaker slipped out of your grasp and landed right on your head.

○It was a good thing he thought ahead and chose not to fill it with anything.

○”You're a real clutz, aren't you?”

○And yes, Gallagher has spotted you tripping over the wire attached to the microphone more than once.

○Would walk you back to your car every night after cleaning up. It has led to you running around wiping off tables because you want to catch up on some drama you've been watching. He can't honestly keep up with the details of this show either. What do you mean this girl just ate poison and walked it off like it was nothing? Where's the context, (Y/n)?

○He never gets that context in the end.

○You get free drinks. He's more than happy to pull out a glass or mix something he's been testing out together for you even if Gallagher claims this will come out of your paycheck. It never does.

○Now when Gallagher hears a new song a part of him can't help but wonder what it would sound like in your voice. It's worse on the days you're off, having to go back to the radio just to fill the air a bit more than just the chatter of customers and the sound of glass on wood as people set their drinks down a bit too harshly as the alcohol starts to flood into their systems.

○Somehow, in some way, the days you're not there have just grown to feel wrong.

Which is why it's all the better as you're back the next day, your same habit of swaying along with the beat the same as ever. Maybe he'd call you out for it later if you decided to say something weird again, but for now Gallagher simply leaned against the counter, hand raising up in a wave as someone walks through the door. Bell attached to the top of the doorframe swaying back and forth as it rings. Somehow it doesn't come across as melodic as it once did but it still draws his attention well enough. It serves its purpose, so no point getting rid of it.

“Welcome in,” he calls out, voice already getting a bit gruff from having to talk so late into the night.

In turn a familiar face greets Gallagher, an old regular that stopped dropping by sitting down in a stool before him as Gal wipes the surface off to make sure it wasn't sticky from any spilled drinks. “Been a while, hasn't it?”

“That it has. Come back here cause of another fight with the wife, James?” Something else you make fun of him for, acting as the good old fashioned bartender people come to to spill their woes. But hey, it pays the bills on his end and it's cheaper than therapy to buy a beer or two to come whining to him about what's going on.

“You can say that again.”

“The usual?” Even as he asks that Gallagher is already grabbing a beer, James preferred brand as the familiar label flashes across His eye while popping off the bottle cap.

“Why ask if you already know?” Even with his need to roll his eyes, James picked the bottle up, bringing it up to his lips for a quick chug. “It's clearly been a while since I've been here. The woman up on the stage is new.”

“(Y/n).”

“Okay, (Y/n) is new.” James leaned back into his chair to look at the woman, watching as you toyed with the cable attached to the mic between your fingers, letting it go round and round in circles between each word sung. “It's an improvement I'd say. Makes this old place a bit more lively.”

“She's certainly become a bit of a fan favorite.”

“One you can't take your eyes off of.”

Gallagher could barely help the sigh falling from his lips at that, not exactly enjoying being called out so blatantly. Maybe a smoke would be nice, get his mind off this stuff just like he's been doing these past few weeks whenever that mischievous smile sneaks its way into his mind. “Just drink.”

He can decide what this all means later, but for now Gallagher can sit back and listen to your voice flooding over the bar and just like always, as this place shuts down for the night, he'll walk you back to your car and pretend he doesn't want to do more than tell you to get home safe.

“Can I still tell you about what bull my wife said this time?”

“Yeah, yeah, man. Just go ahead.”

#gallagher x reader #gallagher #gallagher hsr #honkai star rail #hoyoverse #x reader #fem reader #headcanons #banner by cafekitsune

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familyabolisher · 5 months

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Elaborate on poor things? Haven’t seen it, just curious

i think caden does a great job at getting at the heart of a lot of its problems here. some of my own thoughts on top:

for a piece which clearly wants to work with the materials of frankenstein and dabbles in broader gothic tropes especially in its final plot beats, it really just -- it wasn't very fucked up at all! i think probably the worst thing we saw happen was bella killing a frog in the first half hour. the gore was unspectacular and the plot was profoundly low-stakes -- the film utterly fails in crafting any kind of a sense of tension, such that you're never really afraid for (or of!) bella, never seriously concerned that something bad is actually going to happen. it was all just a fun little romp through europe.

the humour was either just straight-up asking the audience to laugh at how a character telegraphed as disabled moves and communicates, or, like, marvel-type jokes that felt unnatural and forced. i don't think a single joke landed for me. it's not a black comedy because it's not black enough and it's not a straightforward comedy either because it is simply not funny. a better version of this film would've been a) more fucked up and b) funnier, with those two elements complementing one another very well, but -- well. Sad!

lanthimos thinks that making big, unwieldy gestures towards every discourse of the nineteenth century he can think of is the same as interfacing with them at the narrative level. we've got: science and religion! class struggle! sex work! humanism! enlightenment idealism giving way to socialist thought! misogyny! we've got class inequality and a very faint outline of imperialism, helpfully telegraphed by showing some starving brown people on-screen in a yellow filter for all of about five seconds. but none of these are actually engaged with -- they're thrown in as empty signifiers, as if to say, very vaguely, It's The Late Nineteenth Century, Big Ideas, We All Know About Those. nothing changes in bella's material conditions at the end of the film, save for like, the presence of her Black lesbian socialist lover. that's not engaging with what Blackness, lesbianism, socialism ought to problematise about bella's life and worldview; it's tacking the fact of those things on as a footnote and calling it development.

speaking of enlightenment-style idealism, the film makes very little effort to problematise bella's desire for self-improvement, and how that self-improvement comes about specifically through becoming articulate and acquiring greater motoric skills. as i said, the film takes a turn towards (very shallow depictions of) socialist thought once the action shifts to paris, but the underlying suggestion that bella's 'self-improvement' to the ends of making herself, essentially, less disabled was to her benefit is never challenged. this combined with the extent to which the film's aforementioned shit humour rested heavily on expecting the audience to laugh at bella speaking and moving oddly or saying something out of place &c. left a v nasty taste in my mouth.

the premise is stupid sorry. like it's just utterly inane. frankenstein for the most unimaginative people alive. for that matter, most of the plot beats are ridiculous and lazy -- the final arc, with the arrival of her old husband and the return to her old house, was very much giving "the deadline is at midnight and we still need to fill this last half hour and we've got nothing to put here so let's just whack out the first plot we can think of." like, it was incredibly rushed, ridiculously heavyhanded and patronising, and unable to add anything of substance to the piece (which, to be fair, nothing in that film was at all substantial, So Like).

it's misogynistic slop with a lazy plot and no real interest in engaging with the ideas it vaguely raises for five seconds. it's aesthetically decent, i guess, but like ... anything can be aesthetically decent. it's v easy for a film to look pretty and apparently v difficult for it to actually do anything substantial.

#ask

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gerec · 5 months

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Gerec’s Favorite Fics - 2023

Here's a list of some of my favorite fics posted this year. A great big thanks to everyone still writing for this fandom; I know I'm very grateful to have all these amazing stories to read and to share!

Repeat Offenses by populuxe

“Prickly bits aside—hell, for the two of them, prickly bits included—it almost felt like a date. Which is stupid on multiple fronts. Grudgingly buying your ex a meal after he grudgingly bails you out of jail is obviously not a date.”

Five times Charles bailed Erik out of jail—and one time he didn’t.

melt your headaches, call it home by joshriku

Two decades later after the last time he saw Charles Xavier, Erik's children lead him right back to him.

Of course, it's never easy to look at the ex love of your life and realize you're not over them, not even in the slightest.

superposition by borninsideatornado (wip)

erik is a race car driver coming off the worst year of his life. charles xavier may be his last hope.

The Plus-One by populuxe

When Erik grudgingly agrees to play Raven's boyfriend at her terrible family's holiday party, he'd thought the biggest challenge would be staying sober enough to make it convincing. But then he meets Raven's extremely hot—and extremely infuriating—stepbrother, and everything starts to get complicated.

my heart knows your name by borninsideatornado

Once they’ve finally got him in bed, Charles works up the courage to ask if he might stay for a few days, because being rejected can’t be worse than seeing Erik in pain. But Erik only says, “I think that would be good.”

or: charles and erik have been broken up for years, occasionally falling into each other. things might change for good when erik lands himself in the ER where charles works. it’s all a bit of a hanukkah miracle.

This Terrible Desire To Be Loved by riais (jeriais)

Erik clings to his past, Charles detaches from his present. Somehow, they meet in the middle. Modern Au, no powers.

the pride and disgrace by ballantine

I am grand, said Charles. Did you know, I can make people think the sun is shining? I am giving them the most beautiful weather they have ever seen. They don't feel the wind or the rain, only the love of their companions. I am fostering the brotherhood of man, one heart at a time.

“Okay,” said Hank.

twenty four hours from tulsa by intentation

After having self-emancipated (aka run away), Erik's been holing up in a shitty motel while he figures out his next step. When Charles Xavier moves into the room just down the hall, Erik discovers his new favorite pastime: sex.

the pain will remind us of each other by borninsideatornado

It’s always felt alien, the way he feels about Erik. Too big for his body, too much to hold in his heart. But finally, finally, it makes sense.

Because at the end of the world, it’s him. It’s always going to be him. —

when logan lets charles see his future in days of future past, he talks to erik instead.

rendezvous by inthebelltower

“Tell me no,” Erik says. “Tell me to leave.”

Heartbeat by druswriting

People say that it’s a bad idea to be friends with your ex. People say that it’s an especially bad idea to be friends with your ex, if your ex is Erik Lehnsherr.

Unfortunately for him, Charles is an optimist. Unfortunately for him, Charles believes he can make friendship work with anyone. Unfortunately for him, Charles believes no one is beyond repair. Fuck, he’s such an idiot.

Well, at least the sex is good.

Dead Box by ByCandlelight

“We should keep moving,” Raven said softly, and so Erik rose to his feet. There was an ache in his knees that didn’t used to be there.

“Charles would love this planet,” he said unthinkingly, and something shuttered across her face.

Travels with Charles, in Search of America by midrashic (wip)

The world ends, but life goes on—until it doesn't.

Seventeen-year-old Erik Lehnsherr has never left the underground shelter that protects a small band of survivors from an Earth wracked with radiation as its magnetic poles reverse. When the settlement encounters a deadly threat, he embarks on a dangerous odyssey with new arrival, walking encyclopedia, and enormous pain-in-the-ass Charles Xavier in the hopes they can find what they need to save the settlement—before the coming winter or unpredictable magnetic storms bring death to not just them, but everyone they love.

Weak by Sotano (comics cherik)

For an hour he keeps himself alive without a heart, pumping his own blood with his powers. It was never going to last. Magneto dies on the Red Planet.

He's the only mutant in history Charles can't bring back.

Containment by feathershollyandgolly

Guilt swirls within as Charles watches the concrete door slide open. As he enters a hollow prison, both modest and intimidating. He is well aware that what he is about to do is a terrible thing.

Detours Along the Way by AndreaDTX (wip)

Erik Lehnsherr has been elected as the President of the United States of America, the youngest in history and the first ever known Mutant. Charles Xavier, his mate, is right by his side. But as Erik's first term begins, the couple braces themselves, knowing that getting elected is the easy part.

twice saying pardon (In Every World There Is You and Me Remix) by winter_hiems

After the events of X-3, Erik is powerless and alone. By chance, he ends up in an alternate universe – in Genosha, where mutants rule and are safe from harm. In Genosha, there is another version of himself. A version that has Charles Xavier by his side.

Another Love by Mataolma

One bad day, a stranger arrives at Charles' house. The soldier says his name is Logan and that he was Erik's best friend when they served in the Mexican War. Logan brings bad news: Erik died in the war, and Charles must decide what to do with his life now that the man he loves is gone.

#gerec rambles #cherik #gerec's fic rec #fic rec #2023 favorites #long post #cherigan

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shiro-luvs-victor · 2 months

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Gilbert von Obsidian, the main reason why I started playing Ikemen Prince. The main reason I started playing Ikemen games at all. Your route was so much fun, I can't explain.

Gilbert's route is not a route. It's basically a chessboard that we watch Gilbert play from both sides. Yes, it's a one-sided chess game and it's fun to watch. Really fun to watch! I was getting so hooked-up with the story and ended up falling in love with it.

👇👇👇Spoilers 👇👇👇

I think the fun part of Gilbert's route is uncovering his secrets slowly. For example, What is he hiding? Why did he change into....a beast? How does he know so much about Emma? What is his main goal here? All these questions get's answered in a well-crafted way in his story.

Gilbert is one of those characters who on the outside has all the characteristics as a villain but in reality he's a pure-hearted man who sacrificing everything for the better future of his country. Everyone just judges Gilbert based on rumors and what the previous Emperor of Obsidian did (I'm talking about the Bloodstained Rose Day). They all call him names like the 'Conqueror of Beasts' and 'Worldwide disaster' just because he's from Obsidian, a country known for corruption. But once you actually find out Gilbert's ambitions and what he's doing for his country, I just think he's a pretty cool guy. He's an anti-villain disguised as a villain.

His ambition to make sure everyone is being treated equally whether its royalty or a commoner and everyone should be punished for the crimes that they have committed and no one could gain favorable advantages because of their status, is truly remarkable. On top of that, he's not all fighting and conquering every nations he sees. He also works hard to make sure his country is doing better for his people. I'm talking about their food supply and technology upgrades. It does hurts me that Gilbert is only known as a 'Worldwide disaster' around the other nations especially in Rhodolite, instead of getting praised for developing his country and helping his people. People really like to look at only the bad side of a person, don't you think?

Gilbert also in his own way is trying to eradicate as much corruption and decay from his country. Starting with killing his own father, the Emperor because if the Emperor ain't doing anything for his people, he should either step down as an Emperor and let someone else more competent take the throne or just die. Neither happened, so Gilbert killed him to eliminate that threat. Then his killed of any corrupted nobles and that's why Obsidian is called the Country of Soldiers, because everyone inside the palace is a soldier (Including the maids, I guess)

Also, maybe it's only me, but I prefer the design of the Obsidian palace over the Rhodolite one. The Rhodolite palace is prettier-looking, covered with roses from head to toe every where both inside and outside. The Obsidian palace on the outside looks like a Haunted Castle that might eat you up, but in the inside, the ambience suites me perfectly. I don't really like too much light pouring inside my room.

Another thing I like about Obsidian palace is how Gilbert made sure everyone inside the palace who works for him is talented in their field of job. He recognizes talent over any kind of nepotism or status. Although Gilbert's ambition is to make sure that all people are to be treated equally, he's still feared by many ministers in the parliament. I think that's a good thing because it's good to be feared and having people do what you're asking for instead of letting them trample over you. Gilbert used to be like Emma, where he loved everyone and was kind to everyone. But since humans are the worst kinds of beasts, they will surely trample on kindness of people like Emma or former Gilbert. I'm not saying being kind is foolish but one should never let anyone trample over them for any reason. For example, we see Emma getting wrongfully bullied by some nobles just because she hangs out with Gilbert. Emma, for being a commoner gets bullied and other nobles or princes who talks with Gilbert, never. What frustrates me even more is that Emma just never stand up to her bullies and always let them have their way. I don't see any of the Rhodolite princes help her (except for one time when Yves caught that one noblewoman). When Gilbert clearly asks her, she calls him a beast and doesn't tell him. Honestly, I felt like Gilbert was the only one protecting her at that point, Emma was just being clouded by rumors about Gilbert where he's treated as the Voldemort of this world. He who-should-not-be-named!

I'm happy that later she does realize that she shouldn't be blinded by these rumors and must look at Gilbert objectively. Looking him as a human rather than a beast, but it's good thing that she admits her mistake. For her, she was like "I can fix him. I will bring him to my world which is filled with kindness and warmth and I can fix him and turn him into a human." and what does Gilbert do? He enters her world and paints it all black. Great job👍

Speaking of Emma, I love that Gilbert keeps giving her a reality check. Emma's whole ideals about fixing problems by talking things through is not a bad thing, but it's not effective in the current situation because of the tragedy known as the Bloodstained Rose Day. She never knew how much of tragedy that was and it was also partly the Rhodolite Princes' fault too. All this time, she was living in her own dream world like a main character of novel, that she mentions time to time, who never changes herself no matter how much hell she is put through. I think Emma is character who likes to dream a lot and she lives in a fantasy world which is all rainbows and sunshine. Once she is chosen as Belle, everything she thought about 'royalty' and 'nobles' which she read from books proved to be false. She starts learning about the cruel place she lives in, that is the royal palace, how the princes are not just some good-looking rich men but also very smart and strong, how the royalty can get a away with many things because of their status and even how much of piece of shit the previous Rhodolite emperor was. She learns these things and clearly realizes that despite living in Rhodolite for her entire life, she never actually knew everything about her country.

After being send as a hostage in Obsidian, it is only then she gets to see how truly developing Obsidian is, maybe even more than Rhodolite. People are all treating her well. The country wasn't like what she was expecting. To me it looked like she was having much better time in Obsidian than in Rhodolite, because at least there are no childish nobles that bully her just because they can.

Now coming to the meat of the story, Gilbert's illness. I was kinda surprised but also rolled my eyes at first when I heard that Gilbert had some kind of illness and he's going to die soon. I have seen this trope in other movies and dramas and it's usually a last minute thing that the story writers pulls it out of their ass to bait the viewers into keep investing in their characters. I always like to believe that they use these 'I'm dying from cancer' trope when they have no idea left. So when I saw Gilbert coughing blood I was praying so hard that the writers don't disappoint me. But thankfully it was not like that. I really did feel sad when I was reading the ending chapters. I admit that I was crying like a baby because Gilbert is just too sweet that I want to shower him with kisses. Every time. ALL THE TIME!

I think all in all Gilbert's route is really well written that I enjoyed most of it but it's not perfect. The issue is not that concerning, but I really wish they didn't emphasize it too much. I don't like cringy dialogues! Dialogues that make me physically cringy to the point that I roll my eyes. Dialogues like:

"What can I do to make you turn into a human?"

"If you shut down your feelings, you will eventually become a beast like me."

And my least favorite "He's the Conqueror of the Beast, the worldwide disaster...."

Emma just really loves that line to the point that she uses it every time Gilbert does something normal.

Sees Gilbert reading a book.

Emma: *gasps* "The Conqueror of the Beast, the worldwide disaster is reading a book!?!?!?"*shocked 101*

Sees Gilbert eating cookies.

Emma: *gasps* "The Conqueror of the Beast, the worldwide disaster eats cookies and not children!?!?!?"*shocked 102*

Yeah, and it's not just Emma, but some of the princes' and ministers except for Chevalier and Luke, who treats him like a normal human being. Maybe they have a past together. Probably the other other kid at the start of chapter 1 is Chevalier. They must be childhood friends. Luke and Gilbert also seems to know each other well, Luke was the only person that proudly claimed that Emma is doing very well in Obsidian so it seems like Luke must have been to Obsidian before.

Another thing. See the general rule of story-telling is 'Show than tell'. I want the writers to 'show' me how much of a pure-hearted character Emma is rather than the princes keep 'telling' the audience that Emma is kind and pure-hearted. If Emma is kind-hearted, I want them to show me her kindness in any way possible. For example, when they went to the orphanage, they could've have shown Emma mingling with the kids and helping them with whatever they need or maybe something like Emma doing a research about the Bloodstained Rose Day (actually she does, she goes around asking the princes but no one told her that the princes' were also at fault) learning both sides of the story. Show me things that would make me like her personality even more. Show me instances where she's actually a kind-hearted soul. If you don't show me, all I'm left with is a girl who forces her ideals onto others without thinking how much it's hurting the other person. I don't think Emma is terrible but I wish they could add more scenes for her where she truly gets to show her potential as a kind-hearted Belle.

Gilbert's route is a very neat political drama with a little bit of romance infused into it. Like I mentioned beforehand, the whole story is a chess game and Gilbert is the only one winning.

Both Gilbert and Emma's ideals are different. Gilbert, now, thinks that violence is the only means to get justice and Emma thinks talking is the only means to get justice. I don't think both are wrong. In cases like the Bloodstained Rose Day, the family of the victims needed justice because the royalty was not punished for their actions. That's why the anti-monarchy faction was developed. If Gilbert's ideals are followed, there would be Bloodstained Rose Day 2.0. If we go by Emma's ideals, it would be hard to get them to talk things through because of the gravity of the situation. It would still lead to the Bloodstained Rose Day 2.0. It was a straight up slaughter. It's a very complicated situation.

Anyways, I think Gilbert's route is truly amazing. A perfect 9.5/10. (I'm taking 0.5 points because of the cringy lines. NEVER COME SEE ME AGAIN!!)

#ikemen prince #ikemen series #otome #otome game #ikepri #ikemen prince gilbert #gilbert von obsidian #shiro reviews

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canirove · 5 months

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My neighbour Rúben | Chapter 4

Author's note: On this chapter there are some things that give away that this story was written a long time ago, like the fact that it says that he is City's captain... Or that he dresses well 😅 P.S. I'm joking, please no one get mad at me 😭

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Masterlist

"Did you sleep well, darling? You look tired" grandma asked me the morning after the game.

"It probably was all the excitement from yesterday. She was still buzzing like young people say" grandad laughed.

"I think it was a mix of not being on my own bed and getting out of my comfort zone. I'm not used to it."

Which was a lie. Mostly. I did miss my own bed, the one at my grandparents' house had the worst pillow ever. But if I looked dead and tired, it was because I had stayed up until 2 am reading about Rúben, watching his videos and looking at his photos.

Some would call it stalking. I call it doing research.

I read about his career, watched proper interviews and other videos where he was being silly, finding myself smiling like the idiot I am. I even watched some in Portuguese, the fact that I speak Spanish being very helpful to understand what he was saying. Or at least half of it.

I spent an hour just on his Instagram account, looking at everything he had posted, and especially the posts where he was topless. Like... He couldn't be real. He couldn't have a body like that, it had to be Photoshop. And it wasn't just the abs and the biceps. It also was his back. His legs. Everything. And judging by the photos where he was wearing clothes and the couple of times I had met him, he also knew how to dress and make the most out of that perfect body of his, which was unfair for the rest of the human population, both male and female.

I also spent a lot of time reading fanfic about him. There are so many talented people out there! And horny, which made me feel less alone. Because my dreams... Well. They were similar to the ones I had been having since meeting him for the first time, but now I knew what was under his clothes, and they weren't happening just on the lift or Lucy's house. Now that I knew that he was a freaking professional football player, there were so many new scenarios to explore... And I explored a few last night, like the changing room at the Emirates.

"Darling, are you sure you are alright? Should I take you to the doctor?" grandad said, bringing me back to reality.

"To the doctor? Why?"

"You look... I don't know. Off. And look at your cheeks."

"My cheeks?" I said, touching them. They were feeling very warm.

"Let me take your temperature" grandma said. "I don't want you traveling alone back to Manchester with a fever."

Oh, if only she knew.

I wasn't traveling back to Manchester with a fever. I was actually traveling back to Manchester to meet the cause of my fever. And just the thought of it was making my stomach do funny things, not sure if good or bad ones.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Oh, c'mon!" I said when the shopping bag slipped from my hand as I reached to call for the lift, all its contents slipping on the floor.

"Let me help you with that" a male voice said behind me. No. Not just a male voice. The male voice. Rúben.

"You don't need to, I can manage."

"And I want to help" he said, already picking some things from the floor. "Doesn't Lucy have someone to do the shopping for her?"

"Yes, but that's the weekly shopping. This is different."

"I can tell. I don't see Lucy letting Julia eat so much chocolate and sweets" he chuckled.

"Tonight we are having a movie night, that's why I bought all this. I'm not planning on feeding her just sugar for the whole weekend, I'm not crazy."

"Good to know" Rúben smiled. "What movie are you watching?" he asked while calling for the lift, the shopping bag on his hand.

"Not sure yet. Something from Disney I guess."

"What's your favourite Disney movie?"

"What?"

"Mine is "Aladdin". Love the songs" he said, walking into the lift once the doors had opened.

"I'm not sure about mine" I said, following him. "As a child I loved watching the "Swan Princess", but that isn't Disney."

"I think I've never heard of it before. Is it cartoons?"

"Yep. It is about a princess who is under a spell that turns her into a swan during the day, and at night she goes back into her human self but only if she is on a certain lake and when the moon is shining."

"Do they sing?"

"Oh, yes, they do. They have great songs."

"I'll have to check it out."

"What?" I laughed.

"Don't tell anyone, but I love watching kids' movies."

"Worried your teammates may bully you?" I chuckled as the lift's doors opened at our floor.

"Nah, they already know. By the way, the Emirates was the last place where I expected to see you" Rúben said, walking towards my door.

"Same."

"Lucy hadn't told you?"

"We've never talked about you." Which is true. But mainly because I knew my face would give away that I am very attracted to Rúben. Like, a lot.

"Now that you know... What do you think about it?"

"I don't know" I said, opening the apartment’s door. "It's just a job. A special one, but a job."

"Your opinion about me hasn't changed then?" he asked, following me inside and into the kitchen.

"Why would I change my mind?"

"You know what they say about football players. Just a bunch of idiots that kick a ball, who earn way too much money, who just party and cheat on their wives... Those things."

"I don't know enough about you to judge."

"Then we must do something about that" he said, leaving the shopping bag on the table. "Do you think Julia would mind if I joined you on your movie night?"

"I'm sorry, you want what?"

"It'll be a way to get to know each other a bit better. And I don't have plans tonight, so watching a Disney movie in good company sounds great."

I don't know what happened after that, what I said or did. Probably that yes, that he could come, because I remembered his smile and a "see you tonight." But my brain was stuck on his previous two last sentences.

For some reason, he wanted to get to know me better. Me. And I apparently was good company? He could have said it just about Julia, he clearly adored her. But he wasn't talking about her. We weren't talking about her. So... It was about me, right? I was good company. Did that mean that he was flirting with me? Rúben Dias, Manchester City captain and international player with Portugal, was flirting with me? The piano teacher turned into nanny?

It had been years since a guy had tried to flirt with me, I was very rusty. So maybe he was just being nice and I understood everything wrong. Or maybe not.

Whatever it was, I would be finding out in just a few hours...

#ruben dias #ruben dias fanfic #ruben dias imagine #football fanfic #football imagine

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atalana · 8 months

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so i've been doing a doctor who rewatch with my flatmate, which is giving me whole new avenues to think about doctor who meta from

and i wanna talk about this moment

the dalek emperor asks "so prove yourself, doctor. what are you, coward or killer?"

and i think the full context of his response goes a little underappreciated

because especially if you know a lot about doctor who, this line seems fairly obvious. still poignant as hell, but we know the doctor, and we know he's the man who'd always make that choice, it's built into his very mythology

except this is nine

and the choice he's being offered is whether or not to use a weapon that will kill every living thing in its radius - it'll wipe out the daleks, but the range of it also includes the entire earth. you can finally stop the war, but you have to sacrifice a planet you've come to call home, and all of its people, in order to do so. and you'd better act fast, because the daleks are waging war right now, people are already dying - if you don't do something, they're going to wipe out the human race anyway

logically, he should. logically, he has to.

but this is a doctor who is fresh of the heels of making that same choice! he already did it! not too long ago, with his own world in the balance, he proved himself killer, once and for all. what's one more planet, compared to all that? one more planet, to prove it wasn't all worthless? if you let them go now, you killed your own people for nothing

i don't think he knew, until he got his hands on that trigger, what choice he would make. he was certainly planning to be able to do it. and it's not like he stopped being a soldier after the war, when he met that one lone dalek he did everything in his power to kill it, to make the war finally over, to make it worth it. nine doesn't want to be a killer, but he knows that he is. and he's proven it many times this season

until right now. staring down his worst enemy, his worst nightmare, knowing that if he acts with mercy here he'll condemn the universe to destruction, he does it anyway. throws everything aside to give the devil itself the kindness neither of them deserve

this isn't just the moment he declared himself the man who never would. this is the moment he became the man who never would

and time lord regeneration's a funny thing. same man, new man. same memories, new personality, new goals, new ideals. and sure, some aspects of that are random, but there's still a chain of connection. each new incarnation becomes who they are in response to how the last one ended. the 50th enjoyed going into the differences between ten and eleven, how eleven ran away from everything that the doctor was before, played up the childish and the trickster and never fully looked at all the horrors in their past, because ten couldn't help but take responsibility. he considered responsibility the only moral option, but at the end was still so angry that this weight never stopped dragging him down, that he could never make the selfish decision. the world isn't fair and i don't want it to end like this, i see so much of that in eleven

and that defining moment of nine's that birthed ten, that's right here

the man who never would is a line stolen directly from the doctor's daughter. ten is the doctor who holds up genocide as the worst crime someone can commit, no matter the circumstances. ten who will let a dalek go just to avoid causing another. ten who won't touch a weapon of any kind unless absolutely necessary. who doesn't even want to be in the same room as a gun. it all comes down to this moment, with nine against the end of everything, in the final hours of his life

handed an identical choice to the one that changed his life forever and saying never again.

#this has been sitting in my drafts for a while whoops #i got very passionate about it and then i forgot i hadn't posted it yet until i saw that post like don't skip nine #and i was like YEAH DON'T SKIP NINE HE'S VITAL TO TEN'S CHARACTER #and then i realised i hadn't explained that yet #but ye! i have many emotions about this. and genuinely you can't fully understand ten without looking at this moment #also nine good #doctor who #tenth doctor #ninth doctor #eleventh doctor

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morverenmaybewrites · 25 days

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Hi! I'm so glad your back, Pizza Girl is my favorite fanfic of all time!!!

I have a question, about Jason's life as a adopted son of Bruce Wayne, particularly his relationship with Batfamily (especially Dick and Barbara).

During Jasons POV, he often reflects on this time as being warm and homely, easly more comfortable than his previous conditions of living (duh, but still, positive aspects). Buuut, while thinking about his relationship with members of the family, as much as he appreciates the company and patience, he often remembers feeling scared of being thrown away if he makes a mistake, and rarely mentions bonding time with his siblings.

But on the other hand, from Dick's POV, (that I think is more reliable, because Jason's POV is influenced by his abandonment related trauma), it's painfully, heartbreakingly obvious that he loves Jason like a little brother, and that both before and now he still cares and wishes to have a better relationship with him. Similarly Barbara, who's uncondicionably there for him.

So i was thinking, do you have any headcannons for how was their time together before the kidnapping? Its mentioned that it was hard for Jason to open up, but was there time when they managed to do this? What did they like about each other, did they have favorite activities to do together in their civilian lives?

(I feel like I'm asking for fluff but in reality it's tragedy knowing what inevitably happened)

Ayt, I had been putting off answering these for a while because I had a hard time articulating my thoughts on the matter. I still have a hard time articulating my thoughts, so I'm going to try and break it down.

Jason's Relationship with Bruce

I think for the most part, Jason's relationship with Bruce was informed by the fact that while Bruce deeply loved Jason, he didn't love him in the way Jason needed.

By the time the two of them met, Jason was already deeply scarred by his experiences. He was born into one of Gotham"s poorest districts, to two parents who were neglectful at best and abusive at worst.

So when he was plucked off the grimy streets of Park Row and placed into the Wayne Manor, and got told that now, he is another man's son. I imagine the change would have rattled anyone, let alone a street rat who was used to just barely surviving.

Suddenly, there was food whenever he wanted.

Suddenly, he had a bed, the sheets warm and clean and the mattress so soft that he's scared it will swallow him.

Suddenly, he had a family.

And oh, how deeply hard it was to believe that it was all for him.

I imagine he spent most of those early days waiting for the rug to be pulled out underneath him. For him to wake up one day to find himself back in Crime Alley, an orphan once more.

So a lot of his time in Wayne Manor was actually colored by paranoia that, eventually, they will get bored of him, like a rich socialite getting bored of a yapping dog when it goes out fashion.

He spent most of his time trying to prove himself to Bruce, being the best at what he can be, because you don't throw useful things away.

(It does not help that during this time, Bruce was still reeling from his fight with Dick, and ended up comparing Jason to Dick a lot, something that deeply damaged Jason.).

I think that while Bruce deeply Jason, he just wasn't able to provide the sort of loving environment one should provide to a damaged child. He gave him a home, he gave him food, and shelter, and I imagine that if Jason was the type to ask for things (he wasn't), Bruce would have given it to him without a second thought.

But he also gave him the Robin suit, and a responsibility that was, in truth, far too heavy to place on the shoulders of a child. I think Jason probably treated being Robin as a way to "earn" his position into Wayne Manor.

Batman, after all, needed a sidekick.

And Jason was desperate to give them a reason to let him stay.

But I think, that Jason's time with the Joker also colored how he perceives Bruce (how can it not). It made him forget that they had good days, too. And a lot of them.

Because Bruce did care about Jason. He was patient whenever Jason would explode into fits of anger, he let him have the run of the library, they'd talk about their favorite books, ways to better their arsenal. If they had time, I think the relationship would have turned into something beautiful.

If they had time, I think they would have been the two people in the family who understood each other best.

(But sadly, they did not have time. And these days, the memory of him makes Jason run cold.).

Jason's Relationship with Dick

They actually didn't have much of a relationship! It's something that Dick regrets and wishes to fix.

I headcanon that Jason was adopted shortly after Dick's fight with Bruce and his subsequent departure with Bludhaven. During this time, I think that Dick was busy trying to establish his own life, find his own identity. He didn't have much time to come back to Wayne Manor and get to know his new brother.

Whenever he did come by though, Dick did make an effort with Jason, and I think that mattered.

It mattered too, that he and their father were as different as night and day. While Bruce was subdued and muted, Dick was animated, chattering constantly. Asking questions.

On rare occasions, he'd take Jason out to someplace fun, joking that Bruce's idea of fun would be going through the criminal files.

He was a good big brother, when he was there. But most of the time, he was not. And that made it easier for the Joker to make Jason believe that he didn't care.

Jason's relationship with Barbara

I think that, aside from Alfred, Barbara is the closest to Jason.

While Dick was busy trying to establish himself as Nightwing and Bruce was being...Bruce, it was Barbara who took it upon herself to be Jason's mentor.

She'd often look out for him during patrols, give him pointers during training, and she'd also make it a point to make sure that Jason would be able to relax.

If the Batfam ever organized a movie night or an outing to the city park, it was because of her.

A part of Jason definitely remembers this, which is why at the start of the story, Barbara is the only one he bothers keeping in contact with.

#Ask #Batfam headcanons #Jason todd headcanon #Anon #God but it's hard to condense their relationship into short paragraphs #This 100% something I'd rather incoporate into a story but here you go anon

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