#i wanna fall asleep but im in so much pain i cant | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

xo-cori · 7 months

Note

ok but get this

ellie is definitely the type to fall asleep while eating you out. gently tapping her head and you cant help but laugh. shes so cute resting her head on your thigh, completely pussy drunk that it made her so sleepyyyy

ok im done.

opiate this hazy head of mine

pairing: ellie williams x fem!reader

summary: no matter how tired she may be, she just can’t get enough of you.

warnings: smut (MDNI), slight overstim, brief mention of a minor injury, ellie snoozin

a/n: stop this is so cute. ellie b like… eat sleep repeat

Your eyes shoot up from the book in your lap when you hear the door to the room open, knowing exactly who it is before you even see her face.

It’s at least midnight and it’s almost painful how exhausted you are, but you’d made a habit out of waiting for your girlfriend to get home from patrol before ever going to sleep. As much as you assure her that it’s only because you want to be there for her after such a long day, you know deep down that your own anxieties play a big part in it. Every time she passes the gates to Jackson, there’s a little voice in your head reminding you that this could be the time she never makes it back.

She does, though. Every time. Your luck has been grand so far.

You smile as she trudges over to the bed, flopping down onto the mattress, breathing in the scent of the freshly washed sheets. You set your book down on the nightstand. “Long time, no see.”

“Too long.” Ellie groans, crawling up the bed until she’s settled between your legs, cheek pressing against your upper chest.

You wrap your arms around her and place a kiss on her frizzy hair. “Agreed,” you mumble, “but you know the rules. No outside clothes on the bed.”

Her chest puffs up before she lets out an exasperated sigh. “Come on. You can’t make an exception for me?”

“Not really, since the rule is specifically for you.” You gently push on her shoulders to make her sit up, which she does hesitantly. “Come on. The faster you change, the faster we can go to sleep.”

Ellie grumbles as she scoots to the edge of the bed so she can get to work with unlacing her shoes. While she does that, you stand up to retrieve the pajamas that you had laid out for her; a big, grey t-shirt and one of her many pairs of black boyshorts. You walk over to her and slip her shirt off over her head. “Oh, Els,” you sigh, reaching out to see that she’s got a bruise on her shoulder. It’s a big one and it’s already dark, a pretty mix of purple and yellow. “How’d you get that?”

“Kinda embarrassing, actually– I ran into this tree branch that was sticking through a window. It doesn’t really hurt as long as I don’t move my arm.” She shrugs.

You shake your head as you move down to start unbuttoning her jeans, which are just utterly filthy. Blood, dirt, and some other nasty shit that you don’t wanna know about; you aren’t exactly a clean freak, but you’d be caught dead before letting her stay in these clothes any longer than she has to. You pull her jeans down along with her underwear and pass her the pajamas. “I’m gonna go get a washcloth.”

As you walk away, you toss her dirty clothes into the laundry basket before wetting a rag with warm water in the bathroom, then taking a seat next to her on the bed. She’s already got her pajamas on and is rubbing the exhaustion from her eyes.

“Fuck, I’m tired.” She practically whispers.

You pick up her arm and run the washcloth over any bits of dirt that lingered on her skin. “I know,” you hum, “just want you to be comfortable.”

Ellie watches you clean her off with a focused care, handling her like a porcelain doll that could break at any moment. If it were anyone else, she would’ve gotten pissed off at how weak it makes her feel. But you aren’t anybody else. You’re the only person who can break down those walls she put up with nothing but a washcloth and a fresh pair of pajamas.

When you’re done, you just throw the rag on the bedside table and crawl back up the bed, motioning for her to follow you, which she does without a second thought. She lands herself in the same position as before, just a but cleaner this time; ear pressed to your heartbeat, sighing contently when she feels your arms wrap around her. “Yeah, this is pretty damn comfortable.” She says, though her voice is muffled by your shirt.

“Worth the thirty seconds it took for you to get changed?” You wonder, the snarky tone not making its way past Ellie.

She lifts her head to look at you with a huff. “You’re a lot prettier when you aren’t talking, you know that?”

You reach up to jokingly push her face away from you, but she takes it as an opening to latch onto your neck, chapped lips peppering kisses across your pulse point. Both of you know what that means, and you’d like to stop it before it goes too far. “Oh– Ellie, I think we should go to sleep,”

She hums against your throat, a quiet mm-mmm that shows her determination to finish what she’s started, regardless of how tempted she is by sleep. You sigh out in both disapproval and pleasure; a hypocritical combination that she pretends not to notice. Before you know it, her hands are sneaking under the fabric of your shirt, calloused fingers brushing over the soft skin on either side of your stomach. “You’re a pain in my ass.” You mutter.

Her only response is a quick bite to your neck, causing you to gasp and dig your fingers into her back, but she’s already moving down your body before you can react. Her hands smooth their way to the waistband of your bottoms, which happen to be a pair of her own boxers, she realizes with a smirk. “Come on. You put on my boxers and expected me to not get all hot and bothered?”

“Don’t ever say ‘hot and bothered’ again, but yeah– I know what makes you tick.” You reply honestly. She just rolls her eyes as she quickly pulls them down your legs, helping you kick them off to the floor. Not only can she already smell you, but the sight is enough to make her mind go blank. How are you already so wet? Had you been expecting this?

Her eyes momentarily flicker over to the book you’d placed on the nightstand and sees that it’s a familiar one; the one with a few portions questionable enough that you hurriedly stuff into one of the drawers before Joel or any of your friends come to visit. She grins at the realization. “Holy shit, you’re all hot and bothered too, huh?”

Before you’re even able to come up with another response, perhaps berate her for using that damn phrase again, you feel Ellie’s thumb swipe through your folds to bring some wetness up to your clit so that she can rub it in slow circles. Your hands grab onto the sheets and your legs fall open, making more room for her to lay between them comfortably. “Yeah, you are. Jeez.”

As turned on as you are, you can’t help but worry for her a bit; this is probably the latest she’s come back from a patrol, and if Maria hadn’t lectured her yet, she would definitely be in for it tomorrow. The dim yellow light from the lamp next to the bed gives you a clear view of those bags beneath her eyes, too, as she looks up at you like it doesn’t even phase her.

“Maybe, but you’re tired,” you whine, reaching down to stroke her freckled cheek with your thumb.

“Are you?” She asks.

You tuck some loose hair behind her ear. “No, but still, you–”

Much to your surprise (the best kind, you hate to admit), Ellie cuts you off by replacing her thumb with her tongue, immediately latching onto your twitching clit like it’s her sworn duty. Your hips jump as you gasp, taken aback by the sudden rush of pleasure that courses through you. Her quiet moans don’t do much to help. That hand on her cheek quickly comes up to grab her hair, clearly unsure whether you should pull her away or tug her closer. Either way, she doesn’t budge. You knew she wouldn’t.

Though it still feels good, way too good, you notice the tiredness creeping up on Ellie while she exhausts her last bits of energy into eating you out– slowly, more messy than usual, which is a welcome change. Little do you know, the only thing keeping her from completely dozing off is the feeling of your fingers tugging her hair (and the way your taste melts on her tongue like honey).

Due to this change in pace, it’s easier for you to keep your legs open wide for her, not exactly having the energy to struggle whatsoever and not wanting to tire her any more than she already is. If this is what she chooses to help her relax, then so be it; you’re getting something out of it too, after all.

A few minutes go by before you’re weakly crying out her name. “Els, I’m close,” you say, “just like that, okay? Oh, fuck,”

Ellie gives a tired smile as she pushes one finger into your clenching hole, softly curling it upwards into that spot that knocks the air out of you every single time. That’s all it takes to push you over the edge.

Your hand falls from her head and seeks out her free hand, twining your fingers together as she lets you ride out a gentle, quivering orgasm– but she doesn’t stop there. Of course she doesn’t.

It takes you a moment to process that she hasn’t stopped, even after removing her finger from inside of you. Her tongue is relentless as ever despite the ache in her bones telling her that her time is up.

“Ellie–” You hardly whine out, cut by a gasp. Still, though, you don’t make any attempt to fight back. You just squirm and cry as she licks up the mess she’s made of you with no regard for your sensitivity. It isn’t because she’s feeling mean, though. Just one glance down at her is all it takes for you to understand that she’s really just out of it.

You squeeze her hand each time she moans into you, the once pleasurable vibrations becoming torturous. Not before long, though, those moans turn to whines, then huffs, until you feel her head go limp against your thigh as she licks you one last time before letting out a low hum.

Relief floods you when you think she might just be done for the night

That is, until you look down once more and see that she’s completely knocked out.

Your eyes widen. Her lips glisten in the little bit of light in her room, her hands resting on your hips, cheek smushed against your shivering inner thigh. It’s a beautiful sight, really, but the context makes you want to crawl out of your skin.

Cautiously, you shake your leg, jostling her head and watching her brows furrow at the disturbance. “Ellie.”

Her squinted eyes finally flutter open and meet yours, obviously still well aware of her situation. “What, can’t a girl get some shut-eye around here?” She groans.

You shake your leg again before she can nuzzle back into it, which is her cue to hesitantly crawl up to your side, bringing the blanket over the both of you before wrapping an arm around your waist and burying her face into the warm crook of your neck. “Better?” Ellie questions muffledly.

You reach over to run your fingers through her (now messy) hair, successfully easing her sleepy state of irritation. “Much better, sleeping beauty.”

Though you expect your tease to be met with a dirty look or at least a snarky comment in return, you’re met with a very telling silence. Then, that big exhale Ellie always does whenever she’s completely fallen asleep.

#the last of us #the last of us 2 #ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x you #ellie tlou #ellie williams x y/n #ellie x reader #ellie x fem reader #ellie williams smut

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tyunzonlystar · 3 months

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Bike ride (10:06pm)

Warnings! Sub!beomgyu, virgin!beomgyu, big dick!beomgyu, dom!reader, nipple play (gyu rec), strangers to ???, mentions of abusive parents, cuts nd bruises (injuries not sh), making out, pet names (pretty boy, mommy, baby, good boy, beomie, gyu) mommy kink, dick sucking? And unprotected sex (please use protection!)

word count: 1391

summary: Beomgyu snuck out his house to go on a bike ride and ends up falling off! :( but luckily you helped him..

smut under the cut!! MDNI‼️

You left your house about 20 minutes ago and decide to walk to the beachside a few minutes away from your apartment. As you were walking this boy kept riding past you until he fell off! You quickly run over to him and crouch next to him.

“Oh my god are you okay?” You asked him even though he now had cuts and bruises on his body

“Yeah im fine” he tried to move his bike off him “could you please help?”

You nod your head and move his bike off him and help him up

“Hey im y/n i live a few blocks from here so i can help clean you up if obviously you wanted?”

He looked at you and smiled “really?”

“Yes”

“Your not gonna hurt me for like annoying your walk that was meant to be peaceful?”

“What? Of course not! I just wanna help you and then you can go home” you explained to him now having a bit of suspension on why he thought you were gonna hurt him so you decide to ask him as you two start walking back to your apartment.

“Hey i was wondering why you thought i was gonna hurt you? If anything is going on at home with whoever you live with you can talk to me or anything.. but you dont have to if you dont want to”

The boy looked at you and nods his head to say he listened and appreciated your words

“Uhm i come out on my bike quite often at night when my family is asleep and i sneak out and come here often..”

“Ohh so like its an escape for you then?”

“Yeah i uh guess?”

Soon enough you get to your apartment complex and you open the door and let him in first and then you walk towards the elevator and press floor 8.

“Sorry you couldnt bring your bike in here.. but don’t worry the receptionist will keep it safe!”

The boy laughs a little as the elevator dings signalling your at floor 8. You walk out the elevator and the boy follows behind you as you walk to your apartment

“My apartment is kinda big and theres a spare bedroom incase you cant get home..”

“Thank you y/n you dont know how much this means to me..” He says just above a whisper. You make you way to your bedroom and grab your first aid kit

“Hey i never got your name..?”

“Beomgyu”

“Thats a pretty name for a pretty boy. Anyway sit down here” You pat a chair next to you and Beomgyu sits down with light blush covering his face from your complement. You open the kit and take out a antibiotic wipe and gently clean his cuts while he hisses in pain.

“Shit.. ouch” He mumbles

“Sorry..”

You finish cleaning his cuts and bruises and bandage them up

“Its 11pm and i dont want you riding home alone and my car is broke.. would your family mind if you slept here just for tonight?” You asked him

“Mm no they wouldnt mind..”

You nod your head

“You can sleep in the spare bedroom but if you need me or anything you can come in my room”

Beomgyu smiles down at you on your knees and thanks you before asking another question…

“Could i sit on your bed uhm with you and we can just talk?”

“Yeah if you wanted i dont mind!”

“Really?” He asked surprised you didnt shout at him for wanting to be in your bed. You get off your knees and put the bloody tissues in the bin and put away the first aid kit and get on your bed and pt the space next to you. Beomgyu stands up and sits on your bed

“Y/n?”

“Yesss?”

“Can i tell you something?”

“Yes”

“I was on my bike earlier cuz i wanted to escape from my family.. i can’t remember if i told you.. but i wanted to escape from them because they uh abuse me.. so some of the bruises you saw were from my dad as he doesn’t support what i do..”

“Oh well what do you do?”

“I play the guitar and livestream it and he doesn’t support me playing music.. it’s because he doesnt want me to make more money than him since he gets really bad pay days like he doesnt get alot of money and my mom she pays for the bills and my dad uses her but my mom also abuses me but she does it mentally.. and earlier today my dad smashed my guitar while i was livestreaming…”

You nod your head and listen to him carefully..

“Im so sorry thats happened to you Beomgyu and im thankful you trust me to tell me considering we met a few hours ago..”

He smiles and nods his head.

A few hours go by and you dont know how you got onto the topics of your sex like but you did and beomgyu kept a pillow on his lap.. you knew why but didnt say anything until the question came around..

“Are you a virgin?” You asked him and he shuffled slightly as he face went a crimson red as he slowly nodded and soon enough you found yourself on his lap heavily making out with him as you slowly grinded down on his lap.. He whimpered.

“Holy shit..” you thought growing wetter at his moans and noises.

You run your fingers through his long oreo hair and pull away from the kiss

“Are you sure you want this? I mean your a virgin and we dont know eachother super well..”

He eagerly nodded his head

“Okay Gyu if its what you want” you shrug as you sit between his legs and pull his jeans and boxers down to his knees and his thick long veiny cock hit his stomach.

“Jeez baby your huge” you say as you watch the pre-cum drip down his shaft.

“Ready pretty boy?”

“P-please!”

You took that as a yes and kitten licked his tip before taking little by little in your mouth slowly bobbing your head up and down while jerking the rest you couldnt fit in your mouth

“Y-y/n! Fuck fuck fuck!” He whined loudly as he gripped onto your hair

“‘m gonna c-cum.. please let me mommy” his whimpers bounced off the walls of your bedroom as your hands reach up and rub his nipples as he chanted your name like it was a ritual as he came in your mouth and of course! You swallowed.. you dont want his cum going to waste did you?

“M-mommy want your p-pussy..”

“What do we say when we want something baby?”

“P-please”

“Good boy”

You get of the bed and shimmy your pj pants off and let Beomgyu tale your panties off

“Go on take them off for mommy”

His hands slowly took your panties off and he threw them on the floor as you hovered above his cock

“Ready?”

He nodded once again as you slowly sank down on him. You stopped halfway to try get used to him stretching you out and a few seconds later you took him all in your gummy walls.

“Hnng.. f-feels so good..” He moans as you start bouncing on his thick girthy cock

“Doing so well for me Beomie.. so pretty.. fuckkk!” You praised as he hit your sweet spot

At this point the only noises were skin slapping and both of your moans and whimpers

“G-gonna cum” Beomgyu whimpers as he bucks his hips to meet yours

“Cum for me baby” you whisper in his eat as you kiss his neck and leave nasty dark purple splotches on his neck and collarbones. He bucks his hips up to meet yours one last time before he releases his hot load into you and soon after you cream on him and collapse on top of him

“Did so well for me.. im surprised your a virgin with that cock” i laugh and he laughs back

“Ill get towels then you can shower and we can go bed” you say as you get off his cream covered dick and go get warm towels to clean the both of you up..

After your both are cleaned up and in comfy clothes you two fall asleep cuddling….

do not steal, copy, translate!

feel free to reblog my lovelies!

#txt hard hours #txt hard thoughts #txt smut #yuri writes!!#choi beomgyu #beomgyu smut #beomgyu x reader #beomgyu hard hours #beomgyu hard thoughts

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elliescumsock · 2 months

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can we get ellie headcannons when reader has her painful period please???

a/n : ofcourse pookieeee, tysm for the request !!

palestine masterpost | free donation !!!

please do not buy the last of us and do not support neil druckmann, he is a zionist.

from the river to the sea, palestine will be free.

this woman would be such a cutie patootie bro!! you need something? shes getting it. your craving some weird ass food shes never seen you eat before? shes off to the store to get it.

if you guys didn’t live in the same house she would always make sure shes fully stocked up on period products she knows you like. (cant say the same for when shes on her period. i dont think she tracks her so this bitch got no clue when its coming)

honestly just LOVES taking care of you, says its her motherly instinct. doing your skincare, running you baths, making you breakfast, lunch AND dinner, girl is literally a free servant.

she hates seeing you in pain cause your cramps. she knows herseld how painful they can get and it makes her feel bad seeing you in pain.

shes became a master at knowing what to do and what not do to so you dont get pissed of. emotions change veryyy quickly when period come and she does NAWT wanna be shouted at for putting your stuffed animal on the right side of your bed instead of the left.

shes lowkey ashamed to say it but she kinda loves when your on your period. aside from all the bleeding and cramps she loves how clingy and lovey dovey you get.

has no problem on complimenting you 100 times a day if your feeling insecure.

would absolutely love if you get extra horny on your period. you would eat her out like your last meal.

she only ever plays guitar and sings for you on your period. pushed her shyness away for her girl.

would 100% scratch your back until you fall asleep

if you guys go out or something she would always carry around at least one of the period products you use. ain’t taking no chances🙅🏻‍♀️.

would literally just be the most perfect girlfriend ever and make you fall for her 10 times harder then you are already ❤️❤️❤️

sorry this took awhile! haven’t had much motivation to write but im trying lmao, also sorry this is short its 2 am😒😒

hope you enjoyed!

#ellie williams #ellie tlou #ellie x reader #ellie williams headcanons #lesbian #ellie williams x reader

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b1mbodoll · 9 months

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what about hybrid! g!p! wony. even if ur her owner, that doesn’t mean ur her master so maybe she’ll have to bend u over n breed u, knock u up to remind u who’s really in charge ;)

pairings: jang wonyoung x f! reader

warnings: hybrids + g!p + knotting + a/b/o dynamics + breeding + omorashi + collars + jealousy

💌: ive spent so much time keeping this to myself bc i have soso many thoughts n i cant write them all down fast enough </3 i hope u like this bc im obsessed

wolf hybrid wony! is a pain in the ass. it’s been weeks since you brought her home and she’s given you nothing but trouble. doesn’t respect you one bit n tears your house apart when youre out with friends, growling at you when you return n locking herself in her room. when you fall asleep she’s pulling her cock out ‘nd relieving herself on you because how dare you come back smelling like other women, you’re her omega and she needs to mark you up since you wanna be a brat.

when you wake up drenched in her piss, you snap at her. “bad dog! very bad dog! don’t ever do this again!” but wonyoung pays you no mind. doesn’t care that you threaten to send her to obedience classes, just wonders how stupid you can be. do you really think a couple of obedience classes are gonna stop her from getting what she wants?

as far as she’s concerned you need some manners fucked into you since you want to deny her the right to use your holes. the last straw is when you try collaring her, don’t you know only knotsluts wear collars? she’s on you in a second, canines bared as she shoves you on the ground, her dick pressing right against your cunt. the tension is palpable and you do your best to defuse the situation, “wony, what’s wrong? get off, honey ‘s okay, ‘m not gonna punish you if you listen to me n let go.” the wolf girl laughs at you n leans in close, her teeth dangerously close to your ear, “no you listen to me, omega. ‘m not some fucking bitch you get to push around, you live to serve me.” she’s angry now, “if you jus’ submit to me earlier i wouldn’t have t’do this” her claws shred your shorts and panties, revealing your wet pussy. tears spring to your eyes as you reach a hand behind you in an attempt push her away, “no! wony don’t do this! ‘m sorry” she doesn’t bother replying, it’s too late to beg for forgiveness and she fills your pussy in one thrust, the sting from her splitting you open and penetrating your womb makes you drool.

wonyoung grabs the collar you dropped and slips it around your throat, the leather choking you in the best way. “take my fuckin’ knot, omega. gonna fuck you full of my pups ‘n make you a mommy” your pussy clenches around her as the base of her cock grows, her knot slipping inside and keeping you plugged full of cum. “g’nna train you to be my knotslut” she tells you n she’s so proud of herself for finally bitching you into submission, whines when you start calling her alpha n begging for her knot n cum again and again <3

#♡.signed. sealed. delivered.#♡.the honeypot #jang wonyoung #jang wonyoung smut #jang wonyoung x reader #ive #ive x reader #ive smut #💌.breeding #💌.knotting #💌.hybrids #💌.g!p #💌.omorashi #💌.collars #💌.a/b/o

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pr33tylul · 1 year

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Can u do a Harry x reader where the reader is going through a hard pregnancy and harry is just the cutest person ever?

Sorry this took so long to post!!

Harry potter x pregnant!reader

Year: after the battle of hogwarts

Warninngs: none

Ps: taylor swift is bae

8 months along and my son was already causing trouble, Laying in bed while pregnant trying to get into a comfortable position was harder than it sounds. Tossing and turning constantly trying not to wake up my husband was also impossible. "Gosh, will you stop moving! All i wanna do is sleep!" I whisper shouted. "Whats wrong love?" Harry yawned facing me "Sorry for waking you, i just cant get comfortable" he sighed rubbing his eyes still clearly tired. He pulled me into his chest and lifted up my shirt, carefully rubbing my baby bump. "Better love?" He whispered in my ear as I relaxed. "Much better." I sighed falling asleep.

♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆

Waking up to mild pain in my lower belly, not having harry by my side I figured he let me sleep. "Ahh!" I held my stomach, now rubbing the tightened muscle in my lower belly. Harry rushed in right by my side "Everything okay?! Is the baby coming?!" He must of heard me cry out.

"Fine, just contractions" I start to breath in and out as he held my hand. "Did you want anything? you havent been resting like you should be" his face was filled with worry and concern "i cant rest, theres some stuff i need to do" I said pulling off the covers trying to stand up. "No i dont think so mrs potter, rest ill do all the things you need to do, now what things did you want me to get you?" I huffed as I layed back down. "Just get me some snacks and some coffee oh and the TV remote." Starting to get a little bit comfy, I might actually like this. "Okay, ill be a second" he kissed my lips and attempted to walk off. "No forget the snacks, i want you" I kissed him again pulling him forward. "As much as id like that theres stuff what needs to be done around the house and also teddy is downstairs so i cant leave him unoccupied. " he said kissing me again "oh okay" he smiled then before leaving he kissed my stomach.

*month later*

Now sitting in the hospital bed in labour was not fun at all. Hermione had packed me an already made bag with everything I would need and the baby. “You comfortable?” Harry tucked me in with the blanket. “Yes I’m comfortable stop panicking” i say a bit tired I would be pushing out a baby so I had to work up my strength. “If you feel any pain im here and just wake me up okay” nodding as I fall to sleep.

*The next day*

“Just one more big push! Mrs potter you can do it he’s almost out” the nurse said as I pushed. “Come in y/n, your doing so well” Harry held your hand tightly. Not even 10 seconds after the room was filled with little screams from your baby boy. The nurse checks if everything is ok with the baby. “. You have one healthy little baby boy, congratulations” the nurse smiled as Harry cut be cord, putting me in my arms so I can feed him. “Name of the baby?” The nurse looked at the both of you

“James. James Sirius potter” Harry said as he looked at you. “I love it, I think it’s a nice name” smiling through tears you look down at your baby. “I’m so proud of you”Harry kisses you lovingly. “Honestly I couldn’t of done it without you”

You both looked down at James, slightly he opened his eyes looking at his parents l. Both of you smiled as you covered him in kisses, letting Harry hold his son.

A/n

MERRY CHRISTMAS, I hope you lot had a fantastic day! Sorry that I’m a bit slow on posting! I’ll try fix that.

#harry james potter #harry potter smut #harry potter x reader #harry x y/n #harry james potter smut #harry potter x y/n #harry potter x you #harry james potter x you

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bunnihearted · 4 months

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im so tired nd just wanna sleep but im in too much pain so i cant fall asleep... i hate it

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mockerycrow · 10 months

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i cant even go to sleep because i have a train in two hours and i need to get up in an hour so im just laying here not knowing what to do with myself so i just read through ur blog 🧍‍♀️ im so eepy (also im in mountains rn and i rode like 200kms ok my bike in 3 days my knee pain is killing me). probably just gonna nap for the whole day to rest before work 😭 also i cant fall asleep cuz my mind is filled with john price filth, comfort and just everything abt this man it's not even funny anymore /lh

was literally almost dead after 60kms on a bike but still my mind was like price pRice PRIce pRICE

also just in case lmk if you'd ever need help w discord servers bcuz i used to make and moderate a couple cunsjxhjd

-💮

*doing math because i’m american* hmmm…

124 miles??? IM SO SORRY ABOUT YOUR KNEES WOW

price is love, price is life <33

and i think i’m doing okay with it?? tbhhh it really depends on the amount of people who wanna join because if it’s much more than i expected, i might genuinely need mods because i’m a busy bee

#crow answers

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mejomonster · 3 months

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My gastroparesis driving me up a wall. And by that i mean ive been barely eating for over a week now and my symptoms still arent improving and im really not havin a great time im exhausted my bodys in pain trying to get me to Rest but i gotta work full time and my abdomen absolutely hurts but painkillers slow digestion even More so ive been laying down on heatpad as much as possible and i really dont wanna go back to an All Liquid diet (but even if i did im at the nausea and vomiting point of a gastroparesis flare which means even liquid only im likely to throw up either way) and like. I just wanna comfort eat bread cause i feel miserable exhausted in pain and it would be a small joy. But bread is absolutely not something i can eat during a flare. I can only eat it when doing good if i take benedryl. Im so angry and tired and id like to sleep for days. And i gotta still Make myself eat chips and protein shakes even tho i got nausea cause my gi meds dont work unless i eat Something. Even if i got nausea and tons of pain wooh

Anyway im getting flack from family for being so tired the last week and i love em and all but its awful feeling guilty for not calling Enough when its like goddamn eating (something humans gotta do at least once a day) hurts phenomenally and i barely can but i obviously desire to like any human then i eat and Ouch my body didnt fucking like that and punished me for it and im so mad. I feel awful and yeah im mad i dont got energy to hide how much pain im in and chat false enthusiastically for 20 minutes after already doing it all thru work. I had 1 teaspoon of peanut butter today and my remaining options are soup broth (but it had beans cooked in it and my body cant take fiber today so idk if its worth the risk of any accidental beans) and salad (which is of course raw vegetables fiber very hard on stomach rn so i can probably just eat a handful size portion and hopefully ill chew enough its mush and my body will tolerate it). And a protein shake (but its got fiber and is made of chickpeas i think for the protein so idk if my body is tolerating it or not im just drinking it so i dont have no calories). I had chips yesterday but i think my body considered it too solid or large to digest idk cause im eveb worse today. I also had toast yesterday cause i was so angry and hungry and wanted comfort food. So of course that messed me up. Which means i should take more benedryl. But then i wont just be hungry and pain tired, ill also be drug tired. And im so sick of being miserablr all day at work just to pass out the second its over cause allergy meds knocked me out then ive lost all day. But without allergy meds i can eat hardly anything i like. I mean i cant eat rn but like. Right before this fuckjng flare and hopefully once its over. Im just sick of it. Im tired and when i go to therapy next week shell probs ask oh what do you do to stress relief and its like... i get it but are u fucking kidding me. Im knocked unconcious from benedryl. And tired anyway cayse no food, and pain nonstop from gi tract. So im barely doing anything. I cant really get outta bed cause i need the 4 sq feet heatpad or ill be in agony over my abdomen. Dont have tv in room so i can use phone i guess. So tired i can barely keep eyes open or think so im not writing reading or watching shows on phone. I can idk listen to a reaction or lets play since if i fall asleep and wake up i dont need to follow a plot. But like im not in a state to be going for a fucking walk (i wish! I wanna dance and walk but my abdomen and back feel awful and im so tired im dizzy when i stand) or hang out w friend, which im sure idk shed prefer to hear some productive ass activity like god im just trying to keep myself employed and out of the ER until the flare rights itself. Please

And i know jts not that bad. Ive been worse. I couldnt eat solid food for 6 months once. I was in the ER weekly it was so bad i blocked most of it outta memory. This is only a couple weeks. And i havent thrown up much! I was throwing up 5 times daily back then. And i have had chips and peanut butter! I recognizr thats nice, i got some solid food and held it down! I know my gastroparesis is EONS LESS severe than it was when it started.

Its just like. It still sucks barely eating for weeks and any eating hurting immensely and nonstop nausea for days and pain not lowering. Like a normal healthy person might snap from anger if they try to go 20 hours without eating, or crash and need to eat to keep going, or just be run down as fuck and justifiable if they barely do anything that day. But i go days like that and im expected to just appear fine and live life normally like im not worn down af and just desperate to not feel nausea and pain and i just really wanna eat again. Normally.

#rant #my health issues

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lmanburg-letter-service · 3 months

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[[cw for talk of abuse n ctommys exile, mention of cwilburs death on nov 16 , also cdream neg ..!!!]]

dear dream ,

hai its me . tommy. i dont know why im writing this i guess to get it out my system? haha get it ?system .. (im part of one of those get it) . but uh. i really really hate you. like, so much. i wish i never joined thag stupid server so i never wouldve seen your stupid face (mask..) and hear ur stupid voice. i hate you so much it hurts i think. but i also miss you so much it hurts. it feels like my hearts being clawed at. ive even gotten to the point where ive considered doing a canoncall for you , but i know for me thag wouldnt be healthy. (also my social anxiety would make be turn in2 a RAISIN)

i miss the times when you seemed to actually care about me. i dunno if you did, honestly i dont like thinking abt it. i miss your hugs (it was warm even if your armor was stabby and cold) and your head pats and hair ruffles. i miss leaning on your shoulder and falling asleep there. i miss laughing and joking with you(even if you were just laughing at me.) i hate missing these things so much, you abused me and found it FUN AND LAUGHED, i dont wanna miss you. i know theres like psychological reasons for thag like TraumaBonds and conditioning (NOT THE KIND FOR HAIR APARENTLY!!!!) but it still sucks to experience i guess. it also sucks because it feels like , me feeling like that means all the bad stuff you did to me Worked in ur favour and thats stupid.

i saw you like .. a big brother i guess? sometimes like a vauge father figure. MD called u my dad once haha. i guess tbat mightve been cuz i just lost my real big brother that sometimes was fathercoded a couple weeks before the exile stuff happened n i needed a sorta replacement?. or maybe not, i rlly cant tell. sometimes i still think about you as my big brother, even though i have a big brother now (and then, hes a wilbur :3) whos way more epic than you EVERR will be!!!!!

you always took my pain as a joke. as sometjing to laugh at. thought i was "too fun" to just, leave alone. i dont even know what that means. the more im writing this the more im thinking abt how u view me and thats NOT a rabbit hole i wanna go down rn.. esp cuz im abt to sleep... hope u sleep on a uncomfortable bed snd wake up all stiff like cardboard btw dream . id churkle at that tbh!

i think thags all i wanna say right now. so, bye. if you ever wanna write back go ahead but i probably will ignore it, i dont want to talk 2 u ever again preferabley.

sincereally the coolest fella in town,

tommy toms tomathy (im a fictive by the by..!!!!!)

[Letter Sent!]

#to: dream #from: tommy

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jihyocentric · 1 year

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lumi!! hi i hope ur doing well with ur classes starting up again, and that ur taking care <33

so many ppl talking abt pup!hyo omg i get so so happy when i see that!! its ur genius idea that u so graciously allowed me to put my 2 cents into in the beginning, i really do love the au so much though

but the last fill abt 2yeon fucking jihyo with nayeon being rough and jeongyeon soft was sooooo good ur too good at this im so serious. and jihyo just shouting "again!" when she got came in 😭😭 she's so precious i cant

and nayeon better be proud jihyo can last that long cause SHE DID THAT!!! she trained her to cum so many times, we talked abt that once a while ago...how time flies when ur talking abt pup!hyo

i love anxious little hyo that needs nayeon (and jeongyeon) around to feel comfortable, she would totally beg nayeon to wear one of her hoodies to the vet cause smelling like her makes her feel better, like she's safe and protected :((

jihyo biting them is actually the most realistic thing abt this bc the amount of videos we have of her biting jeongyeon is crazy but thats just how she shows love!!

and for belly rubs i think her leg would kick out bc it feels so good and maybe she's kicked 2yeon a few times but its ok bc she is so cute. and i can see nayeon taking advantage of her being so like. blissed out from the belly rubs that she cups her face and talks in that baby voice ppl do to dogs like: "who's the best girl? you are! yes you are! you're my best girl" while jihyo just grins and purrs cause shes!! so!! happy!! and oh my god that's the cutest idea i've ever had wow

jihyo: im not getting the ball thats just stupid

2yeon: *throws it*

jihyo, already getting up: well SOMEONE has to get it

PLEASE i imagine jihyo, short ass jihyo, trying (and failing) to peek over jeongyeons shoulder and being like an annoying sibling with the "whatre you doing? what is that thing? why does it look like that?" she is jeongyeon's pain in the butt (affectionate)

jihyo who falls asleep on the couch and wakes up in nayeon's bed and doesn't question it cause it smells like nayeon and nayeon is love and safety im gonna make myself get emotional hold up

pup!hyo is my favorite, ty for always writing abt her and just doing it so well. u are so talented lumi, its just incredible

-🐶

oh don't worry about sending asks! i love them. i won't answer the jichaeng ones atm because i'm not sure if i want to talk abt chaeyoung rn, but i saw them and i'm glad you liked my last non rq drabble, i wrote it thinking you'd like it! :)

and pup hyo learned so well 🥹 like she's so obedient to nayeon. she might be a brat at times but she's like 95% the best behaving pup ever and it's all on nayeon!! girlie took so much time and effort to deal with jihyo's eager ass

when she goes to the vet and jeongyeon drives, even if nayeon tries to make her sit safely and put on the seat belt, hyo will still go to her lap anyway with her tail between her legs bc she's afraid and anxious and she just wants nayeon 😭

now YES jihyo loves to bite jeongyeon for some reason. like is she tasty? i wanna know too! share with us!!

and for belly rubs i think her leg would kick out bc it feels so good and maybe she's kicked 2yeon a few times

YES. just yes. she can't control when she kicks them, they need to understand!! and abt the voice jihyo wouldn't even understand nayeon at first,, like i see jihyo getting really confused the first time nayeon does that, she'd be like "is it me?" "am i the best girl?" bc she isn't used to receiving affection at all and it just shocks her that someone loves her like nayeon does :(

jihyo: im not getting the ball thats just stupid 2yeon: *throws it* jihyo, already getting up: well SOMEONE has to get it

PLEASE you say i'm funny but this made me giggle HARD 😭 aww and jihyo is totally a pain in the butt but jeongyeon wouldn't change it for a thing 🥺 you're right, nayeon is love and safety, and so is jeongyeon!

(i didn't answer the other asks before everything went downhill bc there was /there is actually/ a lot in my inbox and i was going to answer them soon, but rn it's like i said in the first paragraph. thank you for passing by nonetheless anon, your asks always entertain me!)

#🐶 anon #asks #puppy!hyo

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prettypierrot · 5 months

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i crave an unhealthy relationship and i dunno why. like i wish someone was obsessed with me and possessive over me in an overwhelming way. i wish they saw me as beautiful and only wanted me. id want them to have real thoughts of kidnapping me and wanting to do that. id want them to want me so much it hurt. and id give myself to them. id want them to take advantage of my weaknesses and manipulate me into staying with them. id want there to be a power dynamic that shows they are in charge and i am not. id want them to be sweet and caring and touchy. id want them to touch me in a needy way because thats all they ever feel about me. i want them to need me and make me need them. i want us to need each other and when we dont have that, we feel broke and empty. if something were to happen, like me trying to break up with them, id want them to threaten me. i want them to scare me i to never leaving and when i agree they shower me in affection. holding me close and kissing my neck and lips. and then theyd tell me that ill be punished for even thinking about leaving them. i imagine the punishment would have pain. theyd hurt me and tell me thats how i hurt them. and then afterwards they would kiss me and rub away the pain as i cry in there arms. i like to think theyd wanna bruise me. it shows that im theirs and its pretty on my skin. i think so too. id look at the bruises and press on them gently whiling thinking of how i got them. id love it. in public we will always be holding hands. ill be glued to their side. they would make faces at anyone who looked at me. i imagine theyd touch me and kiss me possessively to show im theirs. they would want me to think about only them. my mind can conjure up any type of thought unless it includes them. i imagine that id want them so badly. if they were to leave me alone for a bit, id being texting them asking if theyre okay ir just pacing back and forth in worry. id lay in their bed and breathe in their scent for comfort. id eventually fall asleep and theyd find me and wake me. id immediately cling to them and hold them close, telling them how much i missed them and how much i was worrying. id be able to breathe in my favorite scent straight from the source and lean into him more. id start touching him and slightly grinding against him while i tell him how much i need him. hed probably laugh a lil at my needy behavior but encourage it anyways. hed ask me what i want and id whine. he knows what i want, hes just playing with me now! but maybe i dont know what i want. i need him so badly id take anything hed give me. so many lewd thoughts rush through my head, i cant even think straight. i need him to choose for me. so i tell him that. and he chooses. and you know the rest. i do everything he tells me. if i question him he tells me itll be okay because its him and hed never hurt me. i believe him. he lives me so much and i love him. we need each other.

#pierrot speaks #lots of words

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lystring · 7 months

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sry long rant abt dumb dreams below I just needed to get it down

so I managed to fall asleep after that. and during those two hours I remember two dreams:

so night between wed n thu I slept for 11 hours and had another long ass dream about my ex (which is mostly just annoying cus sure we were together for 6 years but we've been broken up for almost as long and it was an amicable breakup that should've happened much sooner im not sure what my brain feels the need to process still about that bt whatever) and I thought to myself Again? like why cant i dream about some made up lover or maybe at leeast my last situationship that Im still a bit hung up on (last one kinda sarcastically bt also not cus I miss him lol) but apparently my brain decided to listen to me for the first time ever, but also in ofc the worst way ever.

because last night I barely slept at all, and the first part of the night I slipped in n out of sleep and a Super Fucked Up nightmare that was basically just beat for beat a literal horror movie where me and some guy were trapped on a small island outside the coast of Finland that we both had travelled to alone independently. and we were being held prisoners in a rundown house by a coven of witches or some other supernatural beings, like three super creepy pale blonde old women that were like forcing us to be a part of their "family" wearing the same clothes and eating "dinner" with us every evening and sleeping in childrens beds and the whole dream was me and this guy developing this really close emotional bond out of survival instinct and trauma. there was like this one point where he went into a part of the house that they told us not to go into and as punishment he just started growing painful mushrooms put of his skin on his face and I like. the fucking irl anxiety and fear I had waking up briefly for that was just fucking surreal. we managed to get them off and I literally told him to "please use my face wash" to avoid this problem. like ok funny girl haha. anyway we finally managed to escape and im not gonna go through every detail but honestly it would make a good horror movie that id be too afraid to watch. also it was so fucking uncomfortable for me that I had to get up and have a cigarette because I didn't wanna fall into the same nightmare loop that I'd been in for the last 4 hours or so.

one semi-realistic attempt at being cathartic about my last situationship (sorry to use that word but not sure what else to call it like we were dating we were never a Couple u know) where like. I was in very intimate but ofc dream absurd moments with him but I also got to say everything that I have been feeling and have been wanting to say to him. and in the dream our meeting is sparked by me drunkenly texting him from our work phone, which he responded to even tho he hasn't responded to my last irl (also in dream) texts from my own phone. and. like it was ofc surreal and confusing but also. it makes me wanna try one last time. which is dumb i know but. idk. like I said I kinda not kind jokingly asked my brain for this dream and it sure delivered thanks.

the last dream was a full on surreal chaotic fantasy stress dream where I had to juggle both work at a hotel in a dystopian world and at the same time a relationship with a woman I'm pretty sure is an amalgamation of all the straight women I've ever had hopeless crushes on but this time she was into me so ;) it was also right before I had to get up for work so it was way too short thanks brain fuck off

#personal #dreams #im sorry whenever i remember my dreams and it's not just dumb short atress dreams I NEED to writem down #like i have dreams throughout my life i still remember in detail to this day but nowadays i need to writem down 😔#anyway sorry if u read this #and got a glimpse into my mind #i could try to analyze at least the first one but dont wanna go there just yet #i know the symbolism ok #whatever

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bowserpunk-vevo · 8 months

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i wanna share some of my favourite stims with all yall :D for some time ive been looking for ways to handle... the whole being alive thing... and id have really liked to have seen some stims that arent as common, cuz those dont do me *that* much good :0 (they are still great, these in the list are just better for me !!!) okay so here they are, in no particular order !!! 1. music - it gets me pumped up when needed, but also calmed down, or motivated, or helps me think/not think, and helps me feel things more or, when necessary, less !!!

2. cooking - its my version of working out, im in a flow state, its fun and repetative, but not *too* repetative, and i enjoy eating a lot too so its a win win !!!

3. walking - i just enjoy walking a lot :0 standing too, but walking especially !!! i do it just for fun, or if im thinking about something. walking is especially an activity for when im in physical pain :0

4. things touching my face - idk, its just nice !!! i mostly do it when im happy or content, and it goes best with laying down and being wrapped up in a blanket so that it also touches my face !!!

5. humming/singing - this is also a happy stim !!! i mostly do it when im very very excited, but sometimes its just a fun thing to do :D

6. squinting - this one is for when im experiencing a too strong positive emotion :0 mainly happens in conversations with my lovely partner in crime, but sometimes when a character in media i enjoy is doing something emotional

7. pressure/touch - a more basic one... i enjoy feeling some kind of pressure somewhere on my body !!! so much so, that i cant fall asleep unless im either laying on my arms, or under a heavy blanket. also when im in physical pain, it makes me feel better when im roughly stroking my legs or arms

8. idk if this is a stim, but sometimes i have to unfocus my gaze for a few seconds... idk why, it just feels nice, so im adding it too ! it is in my control, but i dont think about it so it surprises me lol :P

9. Helluva Boss - dont lynch me, i am aware of the controversial nature of it... it just skratches an itch in my brain so much :0 the animation especially, with those designs and all !!! and the voice acting too, especially Blitzo, he just sounds funky :0 i enjoy watching compilations of the show, cuz then i dont have to focus on the plot or anything, just get the good chemicals in my brain !!!

10. fangs/claws - i enjoy watching fangs and claws move aroud :0 like gifs of animals, or cosplayers, or cgi/animated creatures !!! still images are also good, but animated is better !!! if theres a tag with stimboard with just claws or fangs id pay for that :0/lh

i think 10 is enough for now :D these are some of my fave stims, and hopefully this list was of some use for yall, if only for a fun read :D !!! see ya laterz, my dudes :)

#actually autistic #autistic culture #autistic things #autistic spectrum #autistic stimming #stimming #autism #mr. koopa original #<- thats my text tag btw. if you were curious

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