#i wish tumblr worked well again so this gifset could look as pretty as it actually looks

[bapydemonprincess]

“ i just wish you’d notice me. " for sebmey please?? 😊

I hope you don't mind Anon, I got some fanTASTIC ideas for an AU to do this with my writing partner @grelleswife.. SO...

"I just wish you'd notice me," bemoaned Mey Rin, in one very lonely corner of the bookstore she now worked in, but continued on her journey of arranging and putting up new books on the shelves.

This whole job had been a dream come true, actually, and even if she had to work through even all of December, she wouldn't mind!

It was just..

Once again Mey Rin found herself running into a new crush, head on, no breaks in sight, and even KNOWING before trying anything.. it probably wasn't going to work at all.

This time the crush in question happened to be.. well, the very stereotypical tall, dark haired, quiet and likely brooding type.

God you need to stop bein' so predictable, Mey berated herself in her brain as she went on, day after day, trying to get to know this guy at least, trying to get something, ANYTHING out of him.

For some reason the most annoying PART was.. he didn't LOOK annoyed with her or brush her off openly. He looked RIGHT AT her when she tried to start a conversation, nodded and mumbled assessment or disagreements. His pretty, dark brown eyes actually staying focused on her and what she was saying.

But again, the whole TALKING thing...?

"So you um, live near by t'make it easier t'get here?"

"Mnn." Sounded kind of like "not really".

"Uh, have you worked here long?"

"...Hmn." Sounded like "yeah basically".

"W-what about this weather, huh? You.. do you like this time of year?"

"Mhm.." Sounded like "I don't mind"... Maybe. Or "I don't care".

AUGH, she was going to tear her HAIR out, he was SO DAMN CUTE and SO DAMN INTERESTING!!!

But he like so MANY dudes like him, probably thought she was a silly, peppy, boring girl and he probably was gay and he probably actually ranted online somewhere about girls like her and how annoying they were.

So, again, Mey was just so done.

She sighed as she finally took a break from bending and kneeling and reaching to just pull out her phone and check her tumblr dash real quick.

As usual some wacky memes were mostly getting reblogged, as well as gifsets of recent awesome shows Mey had no time to check out right NOW but she'd so get around to it on some off time, like the weekend. Probably would binge right through it.

She was just about to make a new post real quick to make a vague post about her current situation when--

"H-Hey, Mey Rin.."

The woman was frozen where she was squatting there in the corner, staring at nothing, not even her phone anymore.

Was that...

Was that who she thought it was???

"Uh.. I just... uh... is that... tumblr?"

Mey Rin wanted to scream. She didn't know if it was a good scream or a bad scream but just overall this predicament made her want to SHRIEK and cower or.. something!!

But she forced herself to get up, ignoring her face getting hotter and hotter as she stumbled up and shifted about, looking anywhere but.. but AT HIM...

"Oh uh, um, yeah, it's um, I.. I have an account an' have fer awhile, uh, just to stay up t'date on some things I like an' some friends I have and-"

"I, uh--" Sebastian suddenly was stepping up closer, practically tearing his own phone out of his pocket and, lifting it for her to see, "H-have one too."

His voice.

His voice his voice his VOICE...

Sebastian's voice was deep, sounded like it belonged to some guy MUCH older, was a bit cracked, though..

As if.. maybe he rarely used it, perhaps??

But..

Oh god his voice..

"M-Mey??" He suddenly broke through Mey Rin's little eargasm, and she beheld him staring at her in the BIGGEST concerned puppy look she'd ever seen on a guy.

"I'm.. I'm sorry, I.. did you uh, say somethin' 'bout tumblr??"

"Yeah, uh, just, I.. h-have one too, and uh.. w-we could follow each other and uh, we can also ch-chat on there, especially when we can't.. " He waved his arms about him and the area they were in.

Mey Rin held back the urge to squeal right there.

"OH, um, yeah!! That uh, s-sounds so good!! Uh- h-here, um, here's my tumblr--" She got carefully closer to hold her phone up and tapped through to her blog to show him.

Sebastian nodded and looked on with so much interest, and then quickly proceeded to go through finding it on his phone and following her, and then proceeded to awkwardly show her his blog.

Which was filled with tons of posts on elegant gothic fashion, black cats, Fall themed posts and Halloween themed posts, quotes from old literature, MORE CATS AND CAT MEMES IN GENERAL.. ect ect.

Mey Rin found herself awkwardly reblogging a few ten to twenty things from his blog in a row..

But found herself floored when she saw notifications that he was liking and reblogging some of HERS too!

And THEN in a few days, they were chatting on tumblr messenger.

And Sebastian.. was hilarious.

He had SO MUCH more to say in text, SO MUCH more to express!!

By the way, you asked some things early on when you'd first started working with us.

Yeah I did but you don't have to answer!! 💕

I know but I felt awful since then since you asked some pretty reasonable stuff and I was so cagey..🙈 I'm sorry by the way, being only online so much when I don't have to work has just degraded my ability to talk.. Though I guess I've always been a bit like this.

It's okay Seb, I get it!! The internet has so fried my brain too lmao 🤪🤪🤪

Ahahaha yesss .. But again, I want to like make it up to you now, seeing as I can answer everything much better on here!

Okay uh, it's been a while since then but uh I think I asked you like: Do you live near by the store??

Unfortunately not really, I live halfway across town 😒 It's hell getting here through traffic every day.

Oh damn, I'm so sorry!! I'm surprised you keep up with it though, you never have been late from what I've seen!!

Um well

Lately it's been even more easy to put up with it

Uh since you started working here!!

jdyttyfg UM thank you??? 🙈🙈🙈🙈

Um I also asked if you'd been working here long?? AGAIN you don't have to answer these silly snoopy questions!

It's okay! I don't mind really! I've worked here I think two years.. Two and a half, maybe? Yes, that's about it.

Oh man, you should just RUN it now!! XD

LOL haha no way, that would be overkill even for me. I might be a perfectionist but even we have limits! 😬

Oof yeah I get that XD

Ummm I think the last thing I asked was like if you liked the WEATHER lmao, it was like, the dumbest last resort question and I'm SO SORRY dytugihij I just really couldn't think of anything else at that point and like 🙈🙈🙈 You DEFINITELY don't have to answer that

Well, I think I have mixed feelings about Winter. Due to.. rough family stuff I'd rather not get into. But I mean, overall, I DO like it..

Aww oh man, it's okay dude, again I won't press you!! Happy you decided to humor me this far though XDD 💖💖💖

Well uh I wanna thank you for asking ME questions, actually. And making things so much more fun.

I have a feeling this Winter is going to be so much better this time around. 🖤

grsedrjyfygi I hope so too!! I mean, we can always like, plan to hang out if you want, after work!! Uh if thats too sudden I understand!!! 💖💖💖

Oh wow uh

I was going to ask you that myself! 🤷

OMG rgesjtdyktgi

We are one brain cell right now.

Hahaha I think I'm okay with that. 😌

#kurositsuji #sebastian michaelis #mey rin #sebamey #kuroshitsuji au #kuroshitsuji modern au #drabble #my writing #I hope this is okay for a sum up of how it goes it's not very fluffy but I got lost a bit in the chat bit #It's kind of eeeehhhhhh #But HOPE IT READS OKAY GERRDYT #Anonymous

[risoris]

Do you think we can bring back ROTBTD in 2021?

(Oh wow I mulled over this ask for quite some time. I hope this is somewhat helpful!)

If by "bringing back" you mean restoring the crossover to something close to its former popularity, then no, I honestly don't think we can. I think more than just a fandom, part of what made RotBTD so well-known back then is because it got picked up as a tumblr trend, and trends move on. Not to mention with the lack of new source material, the possibility of coming up with inspirations for fanworks (something that creators need, and i feel like this is particularly harder for crossovers) as well as topics to talk about are pretty limited, so it's understandable that most people who participate decided to leave for good after having their share of fun. This is just the way things are.

On a brighter note, it's not like the fandom is actually dead, far from it. The fans are very much still around; there are those who never left (salute to you guys, seriously), those who return (like me!), and those who get into this old fandom late. Discussions are still happening. New fanworks are still being made; lots of it! And though the traffic might be slower, I think a lot of people would agree with me that there's been something like a fandom revival recently.

And this is just my personal opinion, but I do think that what we have right now is even better than what we had back then. The community is much more chill. There’s a deeper appreciation and understanding of the four franchises as well as the characters that the earlier fandom frankly lacked. People are respectful about shipping. I can go on.

However, I understand that it could still feel less lively than the RotBTD fandom that you remember and wish to bring back. And I’m afraid I only have one advice to assuage that: try to reach out and engage more with the current community. 

Look for people who like the same characters/ships/AUs that you like and follow them. Reblog fanarts that you like and maybe even tell the artist what you like about their work. Comment on fics you enjoyed and maybe share it with others that might appreciate it too. Send asks to folks whose headcanons you’d like to see more of. Maybe join one of the discord servers and hang out there. Or if you haven’t found a particular thing you’d like to see, make a new post and just talk about it! 

Like I said before, many of us are still around and kicking, and I think it wouldn’t be a stretch to say that everyone here is open to having another person to talk to about our interests. So if what you're looking for is a livelier experience, simply chat and interact with other fans! After all, having like-minded friends/acquaintances/mutuals of some kind helps a lot in making fannish experience more fulfilling.

oh and please don’t read this as an imperative to be sociable, but rather as an assurance that it's okay to be more present in the fandom space!! If the idea makes you uncomfortable, there’s always the option to use the anon feature or only pop into the fandom tag once in a while. Just do what feels right for you, and remember that just because it's a smaller fandom now doesn't mean you can't have fun.

(Also a little off-topic but i feel like we often forget just how big BIG rotbtd was. It was like a giant stone soup collaboration across all types of media: fanfic, fanart, fancomic, gifsets, edits, RP blogs, fan videos, fan songs, animation, cosplays, fanzines, etc. It felt like everyone was doing it and pitched in with something new or at least knew about it and passed it around. Of course it would feel a lot emptier when we're being compared to that.)

I’m aware I pretty much just assumed the intent behind your question and ended up babbling here lmao so feel free to message me again and correct me if I misinterpret your ask in any way! 

#asks #rotbtd #rotbtd talk #long post

[morkofday]

Now that this hell year is almost over let’s celebrate the good things! If you’re receiving this it means you have made someone’s year better. Tell who on tumblr has made this year better for you (as many people as you like, it can be something as small as liking your posts or sending something sweet) and share some of the content you’ve enjoyed (your own or others)

thank you so much dear anon! ♥ I am happy to know that I’ve managed to make someone’s year at least a tiny bit better :’) as a year on tumblr, this year has been very special to me personally so am happy to know that someone has felt that too!

this is going to be a huge list so be warned! putting it under the cut bc of that~

@i-am-just-a-kiddo you are and will always be on this list first and foremost. you and our friendship is the best thing I have gotten from this hellsite and I continue being thankful for it ♥ I always have so much fun talking to you, you support me so unconditionally, share things with me and allow me to just yell about things every day! you never get bored of that endless stream of random nonsense I pour on you and it means so much to me ♥ I also feel honored to share your things, to see your paintings and read your writings and just be there for you. let’s hope the next year will be kinder to us and the world in general! and hey, maybe you get into guardian at some point heh (and thank you for getting into so many things with me this year already!)

@leonzhng I think I said this at some point too but you were the reason why I got into this community we have going on with @mdzsnet and gave me the confidence to just approach ppl here and love things together ♥ you are always so sweet and kind and lovable and I appreciate you doing all the things you do. your edits are amazing and inspirational and I love all the tag games we keep throwing around :’D 

@ashenwren you!! you are amazing and I’m so happy to have gotten to know you through our network :’) I am excited every day when I get to talk to you, even if it’s just for a moment as our timezones make everything kind of difficult :’D it’s just so nice to share mdzs and dmbj with you, to help you get into these dramas, to share all these ideas and thoughts we have, to share our different cultures and languages and whatnot. you are always so supportive and excited and kind and I wish I could hug you sometimes! I hope I still can write something more for pingxie and that I get to see a ton of your art! ♥

then to all the wonderful ppl in our network who have made my tumblr experience so wonderful this year, who keep being kind and amazing and full of so much talent! to @manhasetardis @aheartfullofjolllly @bees0are0awesome @highwarlockkareena @yibobibo @linglynz @yiqiie @wangxiians @leoyunxi @tiesanjiao @lan-xichens @oneautumnfox @aowyn @wangxianbunnydoodles @weiwuxcian and many others who I might have forgotten: I enjoy seeing you in my notes so much, I enjoy all of your content, seeing us all interact with each other and just being very friendly and welcoming ♥ I am thankful every day that I got to join this network and learn to know so many! continue being awesome and have a nice upcoming year :’)

then quickly to:

@lzswy thank you for loving my music and wanting to know me! I hope we get to talk some more and feel free to push music my way too, am always ready to drown in songs :’)

@kholran thank you for doing my tag games and allowing me to talk to you, to call you my friend, and share my love for liu sang! I will once again tell you that your fic (link here if anyone reading this is interested) was amazing and I hope we get to talk some more! 

and then thank you to all the ppl who I see in my notes all the time and leave amazing tags and just love me with interacting with my content and sometimes making it more known and just giving it their all: @btssjamss @a-force-dyad-in-space @cuppyhands @mylastbraincql @drwcn @fytheuntamed @distantsnows @brutalbeetle @intimisky @kazaore @inessencedevided @bluebelle88 @actualmichelle @sassyassassy @thebeautifulmacabre @merinnan @inkblue-black and many others who I might not recognize or remember or find right now! or who I have already mentioned in the network part bc you guys are awesome like that :’) especially when I have tried out new things this year and have dipped into new fandoms and reached out of this mdzs pit I am still in and unwilling to leave ♥ but you are still there and like my content haha

and then I want to mention some of my favorite works this year (I’ll try to pick one per month from my archives oh boy): 

@i-am-just-a-kiddo‘s amazing niemo fic that owns my heart, soul, and the never to be born firstborn ♥ 

@bloody-bee-tea‘s amazing mdzs related fics that always just make my heart clench but also bring me so much joy!

this amazing wangxian edit that still shatters me

this amazing wwx edit by hanyi ♥ @leonzhng I love the quote in this and this breaks me in all the best ways!

@fytheuntamed‘s whole the untamed memes series that single-handedly has saved this year for me (tho I suppose this started earlier than this year but who cares, quality content either way)

this jc outfits collection post by @linglynz ♥ everything for my am-a-hoe-for-the-angry-purple-guy -needs

this amazing art by @/hana-tox that still gives me so many feels that I feel like bursting 

this stunning edit set for the best album that dropped this year, map of the soul: 7, by @/kassareo

this wangxian edit that inspired me a lot and still makes me catch my breath bc damn that looks gorgeous (by @/itsazbitch)

another very inspirational edit set by @/sammyholdsacandle (some might recognize which one of my edits got inspired by this a lot lol) 

this very beautiful post by @alienwlw that’s really just goals tbh 

@sarawatsaraleo‘s favorite the untamed scenes series, every one of these edits is a huge joy and so beautifully done! ♥

@tiesanjiao‘s wonderful, wonderful wangxian edit that keeps being my one of my favorites ever and just. inspires me to this day, I hope one day I can gif :’D ♥

another one of my absolute favorites is this edit by hanyi again ♥ you just have the best ideas and you make everything so pretty!

this soft but heartbreaking, delicate but so emotional edit by @gusucloud ♥ I think I’ve never loved an edit this much, it’s so pretty and absolutely perfect!

this edit by @highwarlockkareena bc wth, the coloring? the gifs themselves?? gosh it looks so pretty and I might cry

@tiesanjiao‘s wonderful gifset made for the gif challenge that was going around during this time ;; as I was slowly falling in love with the iron triangle and dmbj in general, this felt like a blessing ♥ 

these absolutely stunning pieces of art by @/tiphs 

this absolutely gorgeous post for wwx’s bday by @alienwlw (all of this is just. perfect?? the colors, the gifs, the scenes... everything!)

this gorgeous edit by @distantsnows that makes me smile and cry at the same time ♥

this edit also by @distantsnows that is just. pure perfection?? bc fuck yes, sect leader jaing yanli!! I love you for this one

this edit by @lanzhansmiles bc the colors are just absolutely stunning and I love how they both sit there like that and just? wow 

this edit just makes me feel so many things and just looks so dreamy by @cescedes 

this adorable but also very painful edit by @manhasetardis ♥ I love all about this one :’)

and as a shameless self-promo (bc apparently I haven’t done enough of that lol) I want to mention my wu xie edit which was just so much fun to do and turned out so great and. I just love him a lot ok, he’s a wonderful character and zhu yilong played him so well ♥

I wish you all – all the ppl mentioned here and all who see this and all who still do not – a very merry christmas, happy holidays, and happy new years too! I hope the year 2021 will treat us all well and that you will remain as amazing, lovely, and wonderful as you all have been! ♥ 

#mdzsnet #(am gonna tag that sry) #thank you to all of you!! #and so much love #and i feel like i forgot a ton but #here we go #about me #random

[kiyomie]

When you get this, you must publicly post something nice about at least 5 different people you follow, then copy and paste this in each of their ask boxes :^) [in case you've got more people you want to shower with compliments~]

ooh i recieved two more of these from @alice-chan-chan and @qvalcuno i'll be posting them all here~ (this'll be pretty long but ily all so endure)

@dicennio i think everyone knows how utterly talented this human being is (i always shower u with compliments in each of your edits❤) not to mention i love your sense of humor and overall just a really c o o l person

@eijunes woah cat your gifs are on another level seriously your fkbu gifsets (which ive seen but havent reblogged bc spoilers i havent watched them) the different colors you use in each of them BRO WOAH MY EYES BLESSED also ur a kind person our interactions were fun and cute i'd like to talk more in the future❤

@kagehjna oooh ilaydaa we dont talk often anymore but i really love your presence around my dash sm❤ i never forget how much of a fun and kind person you are thank you for leaving all those kind messages in the tags ugh my heart melts everytime

@haru-kaas anto!! i think you know already how much i love your content (if u didnt know well now u do🤩) and i love our interactions too, you're also one of the people here who just make this site way better

@kuroushi aahh omg i love your blog and holy shit your sense of humor😶 pls how could i live without your shitposts and memes and not to mention quality👌 edits in short tumblr won't be the same without u and wow are u so kind to talk to, looking forward to more interactions!!

@jaegerists siri!! i think you're one of the first mutuals i have on this site?? i remember thinking woah- they followed back😶 do know that i treasure your presence here on this site and also those lovely tags u leave on my stuff! all the love❤

@yokamis liiiaaaaa oMg i just love how damb sweet you are to me, your asks and replies (basically our past interactions) just melt my heart with how kind you are, you are also again another person i'm glad to have met on this site, thank u for existing you sweet person❤ i hope your doing amazing!!

@kurootetsuros audreeyyy!! yet again another person i'm blessed to have met here omg tumblr made me meet so many wonderful people including you, you've been so kind, supportive and fun through and through i would really love to talk and interact more with you and your talented self (hav all my luv❤❤❤❤)

@reddoriot tsuki!! AGAIN another sweet presence on my dash, you spread so much positivity how can anyone not love you😭 gosh ur talented too your art and gfx?? gimme sum of that talent🤲 you're simply just a lovely person your kind messages make really me smile🥺 (do know that ily too mwa❤)

@todoya k e l l y YOU are just- UGH im so bad at words but omg ily?? you took my heart already and are taking good care of it uwu everytime i rb my edits and leave those messages i cRI because how can one person be this sweet?? my fcking heart, also not to mention, you're so approachable?? what?? I feel so comfy in interacting and talking with u and that means a lot all the love always (watch mp when u have time pls)

@runwiththewind gabi!! ahhh i think we've only been mutuals recently and what?? i hate that sm, why have i only discovered your amazing blog recently?? your talent is i m m e n s e are you kidding?? I get even more in awe everytime i look at your edits, they're fucking superior period accept it, just...the work that goes into them...also thank you for hyping me up everytime i post my heart melts so much with how supportive you are❤ i'm looking forward to more interactions!!

@todorokih angell!! is an angel herself actually, we dont talk very often anymore but still i treasure all our interactions and you've always been the best in all those times, you're also talented af i hope you know how much i love the signature coloring you have on all your creations, all the love❤

@alice-chan-chan alice!! ofc i'll tag you here too you've seriously always been so kind and supportive always, i'll always never forget to mention how i love the cuteness and vibrance of your edits, your style is so distinctive wish you all the bests ❤

@qvalcuno aahh yes i'll tag you here too honestly i think you don't know how much i appreciate all the support/likes/reblogs, i really hope we get to interact more and ALSO if i remember correctly your blog (yourself) has a special place in my heart here bc you're the first person to ever send me an ask complimenting my small works and edits not too long ago❤ all the love as well

@villainii aaaahh we don’t interact much but do know that i also treasure your presence a lot <3 i really love seeing you and your blog around you are a kind and talented gfx maker i’d love to see more content from you!!!

@kioymi hey mika!! i would like to let you know that you're also one of those people who make my tumblr experience better, cute and sweet people like you never fail to shower positivity everywhere seeing you around my dash sure does brighten my day a little❤ your edits get better and better each time omg!!

@kikisdeliveryservices jill!! we haven't interacted much but im so thankful to know someone like you here, thank you for your kind words always, i never forget anything like that, and thank you again for sending in that ask when i recieved anon hate that one time, i really want to interact more with you your blog itself is just cute ghibli heaven (but im one of those uncultured swines who've only watched 2 ghibli films rip) but i love all your beautiful gifs and content❤

@ohreigen hey mary!! we dont talk much too but just know that bruh...i admire your edits with all my damn heart, to me before you were one of those big blogs whose creations look up to you always never fail to deliver quality content, keep making them pls everyone on this site (esp myself) need it!!

#this is SO long i should shut up but no #ppl need some love here #AND TERE #i keep saying this but i love your edits #seriously seeing you around here is the best #i dont think my experience here will be the same w/o u tbh #not even kidding #asks #tetsurouk #long post

[ikdrama]

≫❥ hi, hope everyone's doing good. so um i've been inactive on tumblr for a long time for many reasons; whether it was 'cause of losing interests, life getting in the way, etc. i neglected this blog and kept leaving and coming back. i've been on this platform for years now and kept switching between other platforms for the times i've been mia on here. i've tried out instagram, then came back to tumblr, but switched again. i changed between interests—from photo editing to gif making to graphic design to video editing and now back to using photoshop again for making gifs, hopefully. for topics from kdramas to kpop to western back to kdramas, etc.

≫❥ however, i feel like tumblr still holds a space in my heart closer to home unlike instagram. perhaps because it's where i initially started out that i grew more attached to this platform. also maybe i'm getting older and most people on here are the og ones, they're more at the same age range as me, unlike instagram. age has never been an issue to me, i have friends who are much younger than me and those who are older (but mostly young ones) and they all are very dear to me. but i guess i just needed some friends with a closer age range too.

≫❥ i have made some lovely friends on here and i'm forever grateful for those sweet times. however, over the years when i abruptly left tumblr, i had also lost touch with them. so, i might have no friends left on here which saddens me a little but that's all on me and it's okay, i can always try getting in touch with them again, right ? but i'd love to make new friends and reunite with my old ones, so please feel free to message me anytime you wanna be friends, my dms and askbox are always open <3 (doubt anyone's reading this at all lol but it's worth the try i guess heh).

≫❥ anyways, what i'm saying is, i'm coming back this time for real, or at least try making a better effort into taking good care of this blog. i used to be a content maker (mostly creating gifs) but stopped at some point and only rb posts now. frankly, over the time dramas would have a less impact on me, i wouldn't be as much interested in them as before and switched interests but then again came back to them, just now i'm not up-to-date with the on-air ones, i would watch a drama that i find being interested in, so it's random and inconsistent, i don't watch a lot of dramas like i used to (surely my list of watched dramas became quite poor too oof). but i do watch some every once in a while when i find the time and am in the mood for it. my personal favorite genres nowadays are thriller/action/fantasy/comedy dramas with slight romance (teenage romance makes me cringe now when watching those, idk maybe i'm just getting old lol).

≫❥ but another reason to why i stopped creating content was also because i was too focused on whether my post reaches a wider range of audience ? i would get scared it wouldn't get much attention compared to the time and effort i would give into working on my original content. surely, this would bring the content creator down but at the end of the day i chose to be here because i find joy in making the content i wish the world to see and it's still okay if the whole world wouldn't see it as long as i shared it on my blog and me myself am satisfied with what i'm posting. this applied to all the platforms i would use as a content creator. so, one day i just stopped looking at the numbers. and my mind was much more at ease. now every time a post of mine blows up or it would get more recognition than usual, it would make me happy inside and i would be grateful but on the other hand if it would flop, i wouldn't care anyway and still be okay. and why is that ? well, that's because life comes in the way. other things happening irl outside of social media would keep my mind busier than having myself wasting my time by sulking over some digital numbers online. and i guess that's when one's perspective on wanting to gain more recognition on social media changes.

≫❥ anyways, i went a little off topic there heh. so, my blog would mostly consist of the dramas i've already watched or the ones on my watch list or if i find a pretty gifset, i'd rb it too :) i'm rambling on for too long now, oh god, my apologies (i mean i doubt anyone's reading this but that's fine, it's like more for me to get this off my chest).

≫❥ i guess with this post i'm trying to announce that i'll be back to this blog being more active with rb posts and i will also start making content again, but this time it'll be mostly different from the content i've been making so far. my usual content would be creating simple gifsets of scenes/dialogues but i've come across so many artistic and beautiful gifsets that i'd like to give it a try. also since i'm not up-to-date with on-air dramas, making gifsets of the dialogues and scenes from those dramas wouldn't happen—by the time i'd start those dramas people would have made gifsets of the scenes already anyway. this would mean for that kind of content i would give in a much greater effort into making the gifs looking more artistic/aesthetic and that's why i'd post less of my original work. but i'll still try to keep the blog active by rb other people's posts in q of course. however, right now my life is a little bit of a mess, i'm standing on a thin line between education and career, so i'd need some more time to sort this mess out first and then i'll change things up with my blog. i'm excited to come back though; this blog is still getting love from people even at times when it was completely dead and it's still growing which surprises me a lot and i am truly thankful for each of your support. i feel like i don't deserve this, i've been a terrible owner. but i'm willing to change that once i get my life atm together hahah.

≫❥ though i'm not sure how tumblr works now with the changes over the years, i'll just do me and somehow try and revive this blog again. i come back on here because i feel content browsing my dashboard seeing all these beautiful posts on here and i truly wish to come back to being a content maker like these wonderful artists too.

≫❥ ngl, i miss getting on/off anon asks in my askbox (although i wouldn't get that many but it still made me smile every time i received one no matter what it was about as long as it wasn't offensive <3). i missed talking to my friends and people on here. i missed rb ask game posts and get excited whenever someone reacted to it. i miss posting original content and reading other users' tags and them fangirling about a certain topic. i missed the times when i was interactive with my followers/mutuals. i miss the old times on tumblr. when i would have friends on here and a community that was warm and supportive. i wish to experience all of that again.

≫❥ lastly, thank you for listening (if you're still here, doubt so though hah) and so sorry you had to read through this all, i rambled on too much i guess oof. but if you're reading this please know that you're an amazing person. hope we could become friendsʕっ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ~♡

。.❁stay beautiful:·ﾟ*

·☾ﾟir。

#personal #did not expect this to be that long but um hi hello let's be friends;w; #<send me anything nice in my askbox on/off anon & i'll wuf u 4eva:3 #announcement #ily

[theseerasures]

Conspicuous Media Consumption, 2020

it’s that time of year again! *saddest toot from the party horn*

for those of you just joining us: it’s a “consume a different content every week for 48 weeks of the year” challenge. for a longer explanation, check out last year’s write-up here, and as always, feel free to pop in and ask questions about any and all of this content.

(same disclaimer as last year too: content for this project ONLY here, and not certain...*looks at my billion Sad Cop Lady posts*...hyperfixations.)

(man remember when i was big into X-Men comics earlier this year? better times than these, if only because no one's discoursing about Emma Frost’s woobie/war criminal ratio anymore--her w/w, if you will)

(...i swear at one point i didn’t exclusively like platinum blondes but alas)

Bitter Root (comic, 1 issue finished 1/1/2020): still very cool on a basic concept level, but runs into the Image Comics problem of just not having enough content to keep my interest beyond that. part of that is on me, for picking it up again BEFORE the second arc rolled out, but the first five issues didn’t really follow (or resolve) any cohesive story either, so...meh.

Immortal Hulk (comic, 3 trades finished 1/17/2020): still not gonna be something i care deeply about (maybe one of Bruce’s Hulksonas dyed his hair???), but i do want to give kudos to Al Ewing for sheer consistency in terms of sustaining this level of quality storytelling month by month for more than two years now. working with the dense archive of the Hulk mythos and managing to make it interesting and thoughtful is impressive even if i personally would not expend the same effort.

Disco Elysium (game, finished 1/18/2020): honestly i should have twigged onto what this year was gonna be like when the third thing i drew from the barrel was pure uncut Eastern European flavored depression. i faintly recall people ragging on it for being pretentiously cynical, but i actually thought its core slid more towards idealism than people give it credit for. also gratified that i haven’t heard anything about Robert Kurvitz using slave labor to finish it, which is a thing we have to say about our video games now!!! fun.

Watchmen (TV, 7 episodes finished 1/27/2020): i am a fool who wants to believe in Damon Lindelof and I WAS RIGHT!!! honestly still cannot believe that he pulled off this highwire act with such deft aplomb. might be my favorite TV this year, which is a pretty high bar given how much TV i ended up watching.

On a Sunbeam (comic, finished 2/1/2020): Tillie Walden rightly deserves all the praise for inventive queer storytelling, but i will say that on reread--since i first read this as a webcomic--there ARE some issues with pacing here that clearly come from the foibles of its original intended medium. still just excellent, even if after some plot significant haircuts i was having trouble telling a few folks apart.

Lazarus (comic, 1 trade finished 2/8/2020): it’s so good and i want moooooorrrreee--though obviously Rucka and Lark have the right to take all the time they need. the newer longer issues work really well with the epic prestige drama vibes of the story! i’m into it.

The Good Place (TV, 4 seasons finished 2/18/2020): i’m gonna be super honest: i actually wasn’t a big fan of the finale, nor the last season as a whole. it felt like all of Eleanor’s flaws vanished for a majority of the season, and the Chidi-centric episode where they tried to give a legible justification for why he’s Like This was...i didn’t care for it. still, it’s so good and unique on the WHOLE that we’ll literally never get anything like this ever again, and that counts for a lot.

The Old Republic (game, finished 2/21/2020): it’s an MMO so it will never actually Be Finished so long as the servers aren’t shut down, but i caught up on the content i’d missed in the intervening months. Onslaught thus far has mostly been...kinda bland tbh; going back to Imps vs. Rebs after all the shakeups in the previous expansions feels like a waste.

High Road (album, finished 2/22/2020): someone should tell Kesha not to say that word!! otherwise i was very happy with this album, and happy FOR her even though we don’t know each other. being able to find joy again in the same genre of music you made while you were being horrifically exploited is very cool.

Young Justice (TV, 13 episodes finished 2/28/2020): given how much the middle stuff dragged--STOP KILLING YOUR HIJABI CHARACTER IN HORRIFIC WAYS--i was...actually kinda mad by how the end managed to stick the landing anyway. the day being saved by Vic’s self-acceptance and Violet’s sublime compassion was A+, and even the Brion/Tara switchup was a pleasant surprise, though it relied on me caring about Brion MUCH MORE than i actually did.

Manic (album, finished 2/29/2020): do people still care for/about Halsey? i feel like even That One Song that was on every tumblr gifset ever has kinda faded into obscurity at this point. this album was...okay. i feel like people give Halsey a pass for extremely obvious lyrical turns that they wouldn’t for other folks because of her subject material--which is fine. not really my cup of tea, but i also listened to lots of Relient K this year, so that’s probably a good thing.

Jade Empire (game, 3/10/2020): the only 3D-era Bioware game that didn’t franchise out, and for good fucking reason!!! the Orientalism and appropriation really haven’t aged well, and even beyond that the story was...standard Bioware faire. even my usual “my wife’s a bitch i love her” Bioware type didn’t do it for me, and i just ended up romancing no one. it did make me think a lot about what level of cultural borrowing is accepted nowadays, and why: people still look fondly at Avatar and talk about how ~accurate and respectful it was, for example, despite it being staffed almost entirely by white folks, and the Orientalism ALL OVER the monk class in DND is still fine for some reason.

Alif the Unseen (book, finished 3/31/2020): interesting to have read this AFTER reading The Bird King last year, because it highlights how the intervening years have shifted G. Willow Wilson’s thematic interest and improved her craft. i’m actually quite fond of how her characterization work is rougher here--Alif is extremely flawed to the point of being insufferable, but it makes his development by the end more satisfying. Dina is also just good and i love her

Baldur’s Gate (2 games, finished 5/31/2020): well, having finally finished the series i’m happy to say that it...still doesn’t really do it for me, sorry. any awesome story moments were overshadowed by the EXCRUCIATING inventory management system and the combat (i still don’t know what a THAC0 is and at this point i’m afraid to find out). these games crucially lack the Home Base that later Bioware games were so good about, and that (coupled with the huge cast of characters you can drop off and never see again) really hurts the intimacy for me. by the time we finally did get one it was the Hell Dimension in Throne of Bhaal, and i was just...trying to get through it. (yes, i did just say that about one of the most beloved expansions ever to one of the most beloved games ever.) THIS particular iteration of “my wife’s a bitch i love her” was very good, but the game wouldn’t let me romance her :(

The Underground Railroad (book, finished 6/19/2020): honestly what is there even left to say at this point! it was exactly as good as every critic on the planet said it was, even with my usual aversion to hype. draining and horrifying in turns but still insistent upon a future for Black folks.

Steven Universe (6 seasons and a mooooooviiieeee, finished 7/11/2020): yes, i DID finish the show and almost immediately begin a rewatch. this series is now one of my top five most formative things, and the amount of love and respect i have for it is incalculable. that said: i once again did not love how the central conflict of Future was resolved (just the resolution--i loved the finale just fine). for all of Steven’s breakdown was built up, resolving it with “EVERYONE HUG HIM UNTIL HE CRIES” felt...cheap, especially since up until this point the show had been so good about treating trauma and mental illness with the respect and nuance it deserves. it made me wish some of the earlier, less substantial episodes had been cut so we could spend more time at the end.

What It Is (comic, finished 8/19/2020): y’all i love Lynda Barry SO MUCH. for the longest time i was worried that One Hundred Demons was more a lightning in a bottle situation but every book of hers i pick up makes me feel obscure emotions i didn’t even realize existed. the compassionate way she’s able to describe her child self and how weird and fucked up she was (and still is) is honestly aspirational.

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (TV, 5 seasons finished 9/26/2020): so here’s a reversal of what i’ve been complaining about with other shows: i was mostly lukewarm-to-warm about She-Ra, but the later seasons and the finale made me much more into it as a whole. more shows should improve in stakes and overall quality as they age tbh!! i still don’t actively love Catradora (my sole quibble with season 5 actually has to do with the way Adora kept backsliding as a character to make certain Plot/Relationship things happen), but i’m very happy for them nonetheless. i can certainly appreciate a show that will go for High Feeling over tight plot. dark horse standout moments: trees growing everywhere proving that Perfuma Was Right, and Hordak and Adora seeing each other--that weirdly intimate moment of recognition.

Fetch the Bolt Cutters (album, finished 10/7/2020): again i find myself not having much to say that no one else has said. it’s good! once again love it when an artist reclaims something they’d attached with negative affect (anxiety, depression, disordered eating) for better and brighter things.

Solutions and Other Problems (comic, finished 10/25/2020): i was very into Allie Brosh’s ambition with this book, which feels weird to say but i stand by it. it’s cool to see an artist try to make a new medium work for them instead of just sticking to what already works. not all the experimentation was 100% effective, but it was still delightful and occasionally devastating to read, so.

Legend of Zelda (3 games: Ocarina of Time, Majora’s Mask, Link Between Worlds, finished 11/1/2020): this was the third time i’d played Ocarina of Time, which made it the nice, comforting groove i settled into before Majora’s Mask blatted me in the face. i’m not usually a completionist Zelda person because...the gameplay in Zelda is bad, do not at me it just is, but i really felt like i HAD to be one for Majora’s Mask since the whole point is to get attached to the banalities of the town. i’m sure nobody’s surprised that i loved it, even if it gave me an existential crisis about how life goes on in the game for NPCs when you’re not there to save them from it, and there’s not enough time to save them all all the time (also not a surprise to anyone: Romani and Cremia gave Personal Feelings). Link Between Worlds...bad. not like in a “this is a bad story by every measurable gauge” way, but i was already struggling with the 2D playstyle shift enough that for the whole story to end with some “yes it’s v sad that Lorule is Like This but trying to steal Hyrule’s privilege is Even Worse Actually” noblesse oblige bullshit left a VERY poor taste in my mouth, this year of all years. i did audibly gasp when Ravio took off his mask, though. i’m currently playing Breath of the Wild in cautious increments; it’s the first time i’ve enjoyed early Zelda gameplay, but if they wanted fully voiced cutscenes i wish they got voice actors who...knew what words sound like.

folklore (album, finished 11/6/2020): my belief that Taylor Swift is Just Fine continues, i’m afraid. i LIKED this album, don’t get me wrong, and respect her constant drive to innovate, but i didn’t love it substantially more or less than any other Taylor Swift album. mostly i’m just tickled by how she thinks leaning into the indie aesthetic means borrowing Vita Sackville-West’s entire wardrobe, though i will admit to feeling Something when she swore in a song. i think it was like. savage vindication?? you go ahead and swear, Taylor Swift. you deserve it.

Shore (album, finished 11/19/2020): do people still care about the Fleet Foxes? i think there was some Drama with Josh Tillman a while back but i don’t remember where the discourse landed with who was being more problematic. it was nostalgic for me to listen to their new album--made me remember being an undergrad who exclusively listened to men who mumbled and played acoustic guitar all over again.

Star Wars (3 movies: original trilogy, finished 11/27/2020): there is So Much bad Star Wars these days that every time i rewatch the original trilogy i’m afraid that they will suddenly be bad, but guess what! they’re not. i love these children and their hot mess stories, i love that Lando doesn’t know how to say his best friend’s name. what stood out to me this time was the way Obi-Wan described the Force in A New Hope, which strongly implied that ANYONE can be Force Sensitive; that obviously faded with each subsequent movie, but part of me does wish they’d kept it.

X of Swords (comics, 22 issues finished 12/5/2020): i am enjoying Hickman’s X-lines!!! not so much here for the Grand Conspiracy or whatever, but the character work and highkey weirdness is fabulous--they FEEL like X-Men, despite all the shakeups in-universe. this crossover is a nice microcosm of all that: grandiloquently all over the place, but still full of cool standout moments and genuine hilarity. ILLYANA DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO SPELL MAGIC.

Fire Emblem (4 games: Sacred Stones, Path of Radiance, Radiant Dawn, Awakening, finished 12/14/2020): this was the thing that i was closest to giving up early on, but i ended up hyperfixating on it instead. that’s a credit to what the gameplay does to my lizard brain more than anything else, because the story and character writing is...insipid. it was very bizarre to witness this franchise blunder around with its animal-people racism allegory around the same time i was getting back into RWBY, and ITS animal-people racism allegory blunders. Awakening was the first time i felt anything for the franchise beyond “teehee red units disappear make exp bar go up and brain go ding,” so i’m excited for more mature storytelling in subsequent games (they MUST get better. they MUST). the child husbandry thing is...very bad tho, and Apotheosis being “challenging” entirely through the game changing all the rules is also bad.

once again no vidya games that came out this year--i’ll probably pick up Spiritfarer or Hades after the New Year, though (or maybe TLOU II! but probably not. sry Laura and Ashley). more TV and franchises this year, which made me feel In Touch with the Children but was also kinda exhausting. nothing was so egregiously terrible i dropped it without finishing! in a year like this that feels almost like an accomplishment

#conspicuous media consumption

[princesswithabraidedcrown]

Attempt 2.0 of reading Mo Dao Zu Shi has commenced.

The first attempt was sometime last year possibly around the time that the Untamed was ongoing? I possibly saw a gifset of pretty people, did research, and found the translation but I am not one hundred percent sure on the precipitating event. Maybe a mutual was talking about it. I don’t know.

I do recall staying up way too late to keep reading and according to the tab that is still open on my tablet, I got to chapter 31 before falling asleep. I kept intending to get back to reading it, but life happened and it languished, unread, but open.

Enter my tumblr circle collectively falling into the Untamed this spring/summer, with more pretty pictures and metas and memes and just being generally awesome about it, plus my realizing that oh yah, this is the thing that I read 31 chapters of last summer and I decided to watch. Ahem. Well. The Untamed has now taken the spot of current hyperfixation, which might have prompted a foray into learning another language (slowly, painfully slowly), and again all the meta posts from people prompted me to look back into reading the book. Mostly I wanted to be able to draw my own conclusions about “controversies” instead of relying on the interpretations of others. (That’s very Zewu-Jun of me now that I think about it)

It definitely helps that I now know a bit more about what the heck I am reading, especially in regards to titles, names, terminology, etc... I very much have a running track of the Mandarin words for the things like forms of address running through my head as I am reading, so that’s nice. I do kind of wish that on things like units of measurement, there was some sort of conversion unit plunked in the translator’s notes, but I suppose that could be easily fixed with my own research.

I absolutely have plunked Wang YiBo’s fantastic work as Lan WangJi into my mental mindscape when reading because I’m pretty sure I was basically Wei WuXian the last time and thought that book!LWJ hated everyone and everything, including the disaster bi main character. I like LWJ more when he’s not...um...like we are initially led to believe he is, so hence the transportation of WYB!LWJ into my visual movie. I haven’t really plunked Xiao Zhan into my mental movie because, hmm. I’m not sure why, but it might have something to do with my being subconsciously aware that WWX is in Mo XuanYu’s body at this point in the story and I guess I just haven’t meshed the Untamed’s WWX and MDZS’ WWX. I obviously like both of them, but I like them in different ways, so combining the two seems off to me.

I do very much like having thoughts and feelings about the characters as they are introduced, especially the Juniors, so point to watching the Untamed first. I’m aware that the Nie brothers relationship is not quite as ‘wholesome’ in MDZS as it is in the Untamed, so I’m not looking forward to reading those bits. I just have lots of feelings about the Nie Bros and I blame half of them on Fatal Journey and the amazing actors. Not as thrilled that Shijie has a diminished part or that we learn nothing about the various characters until they are plot relevant, but I will survive.

We shall see if I do any more long reaction posts on my feelings.

#the untamed #mo dao zu shi #mdzs #cql #lan wangji #wei wuxian #wwx #lwj #i recognize that there were reasons for making cql’s wwx different than mdzs’ wwx #so I accept that and can hold the two versions separate in my head #but yah so far mdzs lwj is improved by plunking cql lwj on top and having a franken!lwj #long post #meta #mdzs meta #the untamed meta #my mdzs cql journey is an ouroburous #whatever the spelling is of a snake eating its tail

[scrollingkingfisher]

Shipping it like the Titanic

Sam secretly writes fanfiction between killing monsters and fending off the apocalypse-of-the-day. In heaven, a newly recovered Gabriel discovers smut and decides to try his hand. Because that's all sabriel will ever be for either of them, obviously- a far-off fantasy.

There's no way what they're writing about could ever find its way into their real lives. No way whatsoever.

AO3

Rating: E for Lemon                                                                                                Pairings: Sabriel                                                                                                    Words: too many (10k and growing)

Written for the @gabriel-monthly-challenge and encompassing not one, not two, but three of the prompts! Woohoo! A record for me! 

This is only half of it, because, as usual, the prompt grew out of proportion, so there will me more. It’ll be posted chapter-wise on AO3, because I know me- there’ll be more details I want to add in!

tagging @warlockwriter, @archangelgabriellives, @archangel-with-a-shotgun, @archangelsanonymous, @ttttrickster and @revwinchester!

It started with the play.

Sam had almost forgotten about the Supernatural books- their lives went crazy on such a regular basis that any form of insanity that wasn’t directly threatening their lives tended to be quickly pushed into the background. But it all came back to him in vivid detail as he watched a fifteen-year-old with yellow contacts gleefully daub red paint onto the face of a plastic doll that he was fairly sure was meant to be representing him.

It had been a surreal experience, seeing those schoolgirls play out their various adventures. There was something almost… freeing about it, he realised as he watched the recording again on the way back to the bunker. It really put some of the crazy crap they went through into perspective.

And then Dean had to go and make a big deal out of the… interpretations of the supernatural books. And Sam got curious, okay?

So the next time he had a few hours to himself while Dean was out doing god knew what, Sam got himself a beer from the fridge, sat himself down at the library table, flicked open his laptop and opened a browser tab.

A quick search was more than enough to find what he was looking for. It wasn’t exactly well hidden. The first result in google was the official website for Chuck’s books- it hadn’t aged well. Even back in 2007 when the books were being published Sam would have said it looked outdated. Whoever had designed it obviously wasn’t being paid much. Who ever made official graphics in comic sans? He shook his head, backtracking.

But the link below that led to a rather better curated fan site. Sam narrowed his eyes as he scrolled down. There were the links to the publishers, but also PDFs of the later, unpublished books. There were dates for conventions along with links to get tickets. And at the bottom, there was a series of links to other websites, presumably places to chat with other fans.

He hovered his cursor over the link simply entitled tumblr and clicked.

There was so much. More than Sam had even thought possible for a tiny series of books with a cult following.

He ended spending most of the afternoon falling into the apparently bottomless pit of online fandom. The raft of empty beer bottles at his elbow grew as he roamed his way through the understorey of the internet. He scrolled with fascination through blogs full of pictures edited to look like them, through fan theories of what they were like, and then speculation about things the books didn’t show. Continuations, ‘missing scenes’, and… other things. If Sam never had to accidentally read another poorly-written full-frontal account of Cas and Dean’s fictitious sex life, it would be too soon.

And, well, there were so many things they’d got wrong. Or not quite right. But Sam didn’t feel right about commenting on people’s stories; they didn’t want some randomer coming along and critiquing their characterisation.

So the only way to correct it, he thought with tipsy confidence, was to write it how it had actually happened. He started off small; wrote a few of their more recent hunts, made a blog, and before he could think about it too much, pressed that ‘post’ button.

When he woke up in the morning, he was surprised to find all the notes and comments. Apparently, people liked his writing. A lot.

So he wrote more. And more. Soon Sam was pretty sure he had an addiction. It wasn’t like he had any lack of free time in which to write- Dean was always so stubborn about which of them got to drive, so he had hours and hours of sitting in the passenger seat to fill, and there was only so long he could spend researching.

So his blog quickly grew.

At first, it was strictly real life that he wrote; hunts they’d recently been on, anecdotes, slices of their lives. It helped him to cope, to get all of his thoughts and emotions out of his head and onto paper. But soon, he was branching out into ‘fix it fic’- for him, it was wistful thoughts about possibilities of what could have been if they’d taken different roads. If they’d just managed to save a person here, trusted someone else there. One or two about what might happen if Cas and Dean ever pulled their heads out of their asses.

So he was pretty deep already by the time he stumbled across the Sabriel.

He had just woken up when he found it. He was sitting at the bunker kitchen table, scrolling through his feed over a cup of coffee. Gifset, meta analysis, pictures, art, gif-

Wait.

He got the the end of the post and just stopped scrolling for a second, blinking. Had that art been of him and Gabriel? He scrolled back up.

It was. They were hugging- the artist had got the height difference right, he distantly noted. It was a good likeness even. It was quite chaste compared to a lot of the things that crossed his screen, but there was… something about it. He blinked some more, feeling his forehead scrunch a little as he narrowed his eyes at the screen.

He wasn’t offended by it or anything. Mostly, he was just confused.

Him and Gabriel? Really?

Why?

He and Gabriel had barely known each other. The archangel had hardly talked to him. Even when he had, those words had more often than not been angry. They had started off hunting him after all. And they hadn’t parted mystery spot as friends. Hell, on top of that, Gabriel was dead! Long dead!

Sam clicked on the artist’s profile and scrolled further down, a huff of amused disbelief breaking out of him. The art definitely wasn’t a one-off, and judging from all the reblogs, they were far from the only shipper. No matter what had really happened, these people seemed to think that they had potential.

He sat back, resting his phone down on the table and considering. Huh. What would that even be called? Samiel? Sambriel?

He checked the tags. Sabriel, apparently.

It was impossible. Totally and utterly implausible. Maybe that was what drew him to it. There was no way any of this could work its way into Sam’s real life. He didn’t see any harm in it.

At first it just amused him. But gradually, over time, he found himself starting to seek it out. The ‘incorrect quotes’ made him laugh, either because they were hilariously out of character or (more often than not) hilariously in character. The mood boards made him smile. The art sometimes tugged too-tight at his heart, but it was always amazing. And the fic was something else.

Before he knew it, he was following a whole host of sabriel blogs, reblogging their content to his own. He even made a few friends.

And, gradually? He was starting to see it too. The books had been more revealing about Gabriel than he ever had been in real life. Meta posts pointed out the similarities between their characters, between their stories, and it made Sam realise that they really hadn’t been that different after all. Gabriel had been just as desperate and afraid as he was back then, he’d just had different ways of hiding it. And if the scant number of scenes from Gabriel’s point of view were as accurate as the rest of the books, it certainly looked like he’d had a soft spot for Sam, much as Sam thought he’d never showed it.

Just how many of their interpretations were true? he wondered as he stared at his dimmed computer screen while the streetlamps flashed past on another midnight road. Was there a possibility that, if Gabriel was alive, they could have got along?

He felt a little pang at the thought that they’d never talked at all, really, before he died. Sam felt he knew the archangel better now than he ever had back then. Knowing what he knew now, he wished that he’d at least been friends with him.

In a way, fictional Sam had it better than real him did. The more he read, the more he realised he was craving what his fictional self had; stability, a partner. Someone to come back home to, someone to wrap his arms around at night. It wasn’t like there could ever be any permanent lovers in his real life. He could never keep what he did a secret, or drag someone into this life. And after Eileen, he didn’t have the heart to date anyone within the business. The mortality rate for hunters was just too high.

He looked out the window, shaking his head at himself as they rushed through the night. How sad had his life become? A little voice at the back of his head whispered maliciously. Was he really sitting here daydreaming wistfully about a normal life like some kind of caricature of himself?

Well maybe I am, he retaliated almost angrily. He had few enough permanent good things in his life, and his writing was a lifeline that kept him afloat. It was an escape from the violence and monotony of their lives. It wasn’t hurting anyone. If he wanted to fantasise about having somebody who cared about him, then what the hell, he was gonna do it.

With renewed determination, he opened a new document and started to type.

                                                            ...

So it went on. He wrote when Amara rose. He wrote then their Mom came back from the dead. He wrote to forget his torture at the hands of the British Men of Letters. He wrote when Cas died, when he lost their Mom, when they found Jack, when Cas returned from the Empty. It was his crutch; whenever things got bad, out came a fresh google doc and onto the page it all went. By the time they were trying to get their Mom back from the apocalypse world, his little blog had over two thousand followers all eagerly awaiting his updates.

So obviously, because this was the Winchester’s luck, that was when Gabriel came back to life.

                                                           .o0o.

Gabriel would like it noted down that it was Cas’ fault. For the record.

“Brother. You need to take a break.”

Gabriel looked down at him from heaven’s throne and raised an unimpressed eyebrow. It was a look he’d been perfecting these last few weeks since he’d come back upstairs to reclaim what was left of his birthright and discovered how almost frighteningly easily the other angels fell into line- the first time he’d done it, a cupid had actually keeled over.

Castiel, on the other hand, didn’t back down even half an inch. That seraph had balls of steel. It was one of the things Gabriel liked best about his brother- he had no fear of calling Gabriel out on his bullshit, unlike the rest of the cowardly sycophants up here.

“You have been snapping at the seraphim all week. I believe you need to, as Dean would put it, ‘take a load off’.”

He even crooked his fingers to make the air quotation marks. Adorable.

Gabriel heaved a sigh. “And what do you suggest I do? A zumba class? Go out and commune with nature?”

Castiel was undeterred by his prickly demeanor. “What did you used to do to relax?”

“Mess with dickheads until they died,” Gabriel answered. Cas stared at him blankly, waiting.

“... Make amateur porn?” he suggested.

Cas sighed, rolling his eyes and turning with a swish of trench coat. “Just… go and find something to do, Gabriel. Something productive. Read a book,” he called over his shoulder as he strode out of heaven’s throne room.

Gabriel scoffed to himself, slouching back on the throne to sulk. Read a book? Like literature could hold his attention at the moment. What he needed to do was get outta here and stop wallowing in his own juices!

But if he was being honest with himself (not something he made a habit of), he really didn’t know what he wanted to do once he did manage to get out. He was… aimless. And the longer he sat here with nothing to distract him, the more those memories lurking at the back of his mind dragged their fingernails against his consciousness.

You know what? Maybe he would read that book.

He stood and snapped himself to the nearest bookstore before he had any more time to chew it over. Walking over to the fiction section, he perused along the shelves. Yes, escapism, that was what he needed!

But nothing appealed. Every damn book he picked up seemed to be either a cheap Game of Thrones knock-off or vampire erotica, and he’d already had his fun with Stephanie Meyer.

He was about to snap himself away again in frustration when he paused. There was something poking out of the discount book bin. That cover looked strangely familiar…

He picked it up, smirking at the hunks on the cover, and turned it over to read the blurb. His eyes widened. Holy guacamole. He couldn’t believe it!

He started laughing, uncontrollable whole-body-shaking hoots that quickly turned into constricted wheezing, tears forming in the corners of his eyes. People started backing away from him, but he didn’t care. Oh, this was great! Of all the books that had to catch his eye, it had to be this one. If he didn’t know better, he’d say this was Dad-ordained fate.

He nearly skipped up to the counter, slapping the book down next to the cash register. “Hey, you got any more of these?”

The guy behind it eyed him with concern. “Yeah, should be more if you dig in the bottom of the bin. You like them?”

“Oh yeah,” Gabriel grinned like a slightly manic shark. “I’m a big fan.”

                                                                 ...

“Father above, their lives are depressing.”  

Gabriel tossed the last book off the dais with a sigh, lobbing it neatly through a wormhole. Well, that had helped pass a few hours, at least. But after binging his way through two entire lifetimes’ worth of tragedy and man-tears, he was outta reading material.

What now?

Idly, Gabriel pulled out the phone that Sam had given him the last time he popped down to update them. Installing WiFi in heaven had been the first thing he did when he limped back. His siblings would thank him. Eventually.

He typed ‘supernatural’ into google.

And, wow. His eyes widened. That was a lot of porn. Ah, humanity at their finest- it didn’t matter how angst-soaked the source material was, in his experience, there was always at least one fan who would say, “hmmm this needs more nudity!” And, apparently, this fandom had more than one fan who thought Sam and Dean needed more hanky panky in their lives.

He chuckled, scrolling down the entries. Damn, he liked these people already!

“Bingo.” He clicked on a link.

The site flashed up before his eyes, summaries and ratings in their colourful boxes catching his attention. Now this was more like it! He snapped himself up a big tub of popcorn and dug in.

                                                            …

He was half way through the tag when he started finding the sabriel.

For the first time since he’d started reading four days ago, his finger paused on the touchpad. His grin faded a little.

So they’d noticed that, had they? He’d thought it wasn’t too obvious from the books, but humans were intuitive.

Tentatively, he clicked. He read, getting more and more wound up the further down he got.

He snorted to himself as he reached the bottom of the page. Where was the danger? The drama? The strippers? He didn’t belong in a coffee shop AU! He pressed the back button, scowling. He searched the tag itself, and wasn’t much more impressed. Why was there so much domesticity? He was a maverick! A rolling stone!

Hey, maybe he should start writing? Show them all where they were going wrong? Because somewhere along the line they’d clearly got the completely wrong impression of his character.

And okay, he thought as he set himself up an account, so maybe they’d been right about him nursing a little crush on the younger Winchester from afar. That was fine! Nobody in real life needed to know! He could just bury that one at the bottom of the ocean in a mental curse box with all the other things he deliberately didn’t think about. As far as Gabriel was concerned, he would keep all his feelings right here in his chest, and then one day Sam would die, and that would be the end of it. And Gabriel’s heart would shatter into a million tiny shards and he would never be quite right again.

But whatever! Not like that was gonna spillover into what he wrote or anything. No, this work of creative genius was gonna be one-hundred-percent SEX, as many chapters of raunchy, kinky, personal-fantasy-fulfilling porn as he could get out onto paper. No feelings here. None whatsoever.

So he conjured a laptop, opened up a playlist for inspiration, and started to write.

                                                             .o0o.

The first time that Sam ever really paid any attention to Angel_In_the_Streets_Trickster_In_the_Sheets was when he reblogged the call-out post:

Fandoms-forevr: I don’t care what they say, Sam is always the worst character. No matter what else he’s done, the stans can’t deny the facts; he opened a portal to hell. He opened the cage and started the apocalypse. He’s a selfish, manipulative asshole. Tbh if Sam wasn’t in the books, Dean could be retired by now and not be dragged around cleaning up after Sam’s sorry ass. 

Sam apologists, don’t interact.

It had been nearly 3am and most of the way through a bottle of whisky, and Sam had reblogged it as an act of drunken self-flagellation. Then he had flicked his phone off, rolled over, and fallen asleep like a baby seal that had been clubbed over the head with a bottle of Jack Daniels.

He woke up to online carnage.

He thought that the notifications were a hallucination from his raging hangover for a second, but when he blinked they didn’t disappear. His eyes widened as he scrolled down the long list of angry reblogs. Some seemed to be arguing for him, some against him. Who the hell had started all this drama?

He scrolled down to the first reblog.

Angel_In_the_Streets_Trickster_In_the_Sheets reblogged: I’m sorry, but Sam? A ‘selfish, manipulative asshole’? What have you been smoking? Whatever it is, put that blunt down, cos it’s making you delusional.

First off, I know this post is about Sam, but you really think Dean would stop hunting without having to be literally chained to the floor? Puh-lease, that boy isn’t gonna stop moving until he gets hitched to Castiel.

Anyway, back to Sam. You’re wrong. Don’t know how you can’t see that, but here, let me take you to the character optometrist...

And then they went off.

The post kept going, a whole list of passionate arguments. Sam felt a smile twitch at the corner of his mouth. He might not agree with their points, but whoever they were, they had style.

Sam had seen people defending him before. He tended to avoid those sorts of posts; it made him uncomfortable for some reason. He knew he didn’t deserve these people’s praise. But for some reason, those usual feelings of guilt and inadequacy weren’t surfacing

The good feelings faded when he opened up his personal messages.

Angel_In_the_Streets_Trickster_In_the_Sheets said: Call yourself a Sam fan? I thought you were meant to be on his side?

Sam frowned at his phone. The reblogs, okay, but personal messaging? Really? His fingers poised over the keys to write an acerbic response, but he restrained himself. He didn’t owe random dickheads on the internet any explanations!

Angel_In_the_Streets_Trickster_In_the_Sheets… why was that familiar? He’d seen them around once or twice before, he realised; sabriel wasn’t the biggest ship ever, so chances were if someone was on board then Sam would have at least heard of them.

But recently, Gabriel’s real life return had put a bit of a damper on his reading and writing. It was one thing writing yourself into a relationship with someone who was, to all intents and purposes, not real- it was quite another to write yourself sharing a loving embrace with someone who regularly popped in to give you updates on how heaven was doing under new management. He was surprised he could even look Gabriel in the face after some of the things he’d read about them.

That was it! Sam nodded to himself as he realised where he’d seen them before. The kinkmeme. Of course.

He opened up their A03 profile. Unsurprisingly, there was nothing in there less explicit than an E. Half of their fics made Sam blush down to his scalp just by looking at the summaries. There were some… colourful entries in there.

Sam hovered his cursor over the latest fic. With trepidation, he clicked.

“Spank me. It’s the only way I learn.”

Sam waved his cute patootie in the air, already marked with several cherry-red handprints like the naughty boy he was.

“Oh, you’re gonna learn, sweet-cheeks. And you’re gonna enjoy it.”

Gabriel ran his fingers across the array of toys before him, and as he glanced up, a sharp smirk tugging at his lips, he had never looked more dangerous. Dangerous, powerful and sexy. He picked out the biggest dildo, the one as long as Sam’s arm and twice as shiny, and in one swift thrust he rammed it into his tight little-

“Oh my god,” Sam choked, turning the laptop screen away a little. He needed a moment. That was… that wasn’t physically possible. Or at least, not pleasurable at all. It couldn’t be.

Was it?

He glanced back at the text. It was just morbid curiosity, that was all, he told himself. Just morbid... curiosity…

He read the whole thing. And then another one. And another one.

Sam surreptitiously adjusted his pants. Okay, so they could write, he thought to himself. That didn’t make them any less of an asshole. But he did decide to message them back.

Moose-of-Letters- Look, we’ve got different opinions. Could you just stay in your lane and stop bothering me?

It took a surprisingly short length of time before a reply to pop up.

Angel_In_the_Streets_Trickster_In_the_Sheets- I’ll stop bothering you when you aren’t reblogging hate posts

Sam scowled, feeling his temper rise. Who did they think they were, telling him what he could and couldn’t have on his blog? Like their own wasn’t a dumpster fire of discourse posts!

“What you looking at?”

Sam nearly jumped out of his seat, hiding his phone in reflex. Dean was standing behind him, grey robe on, steaming mug of coffee in hand.

“Selkie lore,” Sam grunted defensively.

Dean snorted. “What have selkies ever done to you?” Sam looked up again, frowning in confusion. Dean plonked himself down in the seat opposite, pulling the toast towards himself. “You look like you’re ready to open up a can of whoop-ass. What’s up?”

“Nothing,” Sam muttered. “Late night, that’s all.” Dean raised his eyebrows but stayed silent, accepting his answer. Sam angled his phone away from his brother and typed furiously.

Moose-Of-Letters Commented: I’m not going to even bother arguing with you. If we can’t have a conversation like adults, then just fuck off.

He brought up their profile, his finger hovering over the ‘block’ button, but he paused. They were one of his followers.

Maybe… maybe he was being a little harsh. It had been a hate post, and he usually tried to be positive about all the ‘characters’, while he was sober at least- he didn’t normally put up with character hate. He’d been pretty vocal about it in the past. No wonder people had been taken aback, even if this one had dealt with it rudely. Slowly, he took his finger off the button, going back to the chat. How should he phrase this?

Moose-Of-Letters Commented: Look, some of the stuff with Sam is kind of personal for me, it’s a bit too close to home. I’m sorry if I got snappy with you.

Angel_In_the_Streets_Trickster_In_the_Sheets- Oops. Too late for that

What did that mean? As soon as Sam thought that, his feed updated. And there it was, right at the top.

Angel_In_the_Streets_Trickster_In_the_Sheets posted- The great battle for Sam’s dignity begins. Who woulda thought it but Moose-of-Letters is officially the enemy of the people. I declare war!! 

The text was followed by a gif of a pair or armoured knights facing off while brandishing rubber dildos. Already there had been another flurry of reblogs and arguments. Sam rolled his eyes, turning off is phone. Why did he even bother?

                                                              …

Gabriel was scrolling down his feed idly. Honestly, as much as he moaned about ruling heaven, there wasn’t that much to do. The most difficult thing he’d solved this morning was a disagreement between the Virtues as to whether the lesser cherubs should be classified using a tiered system or not. Who cared! It didn’t matter!! After that, the inane squabbles of tumblr discourse looked almost sensible.

Almost.

But then, he did enjoy causing chaos and then sitting back and watching everyone fall over themselves in indignation. That was just funny.

And what was even better were the increasingly frustrated and snarky reblogs he’d been getting from an account he’d decided to target after they reblogged that Dad-awful Sam hate post. They’d totally deserved it. He was amazed they hadn’t blocked him yet, but he was taking advantage of having someone to rile up while it lasted. Their replies had been getting progressively more pointed and it gave Gabriel a vicious sort of satisfaction. He was planning another volley of posts this afternoon, and he had some scorching insults lined up.

He reblogged some excellent fanart of Dean in a pair of pink panties (must remember to leave that somewhere for him to find), skipped over another post about the latest tumblr scandal (someone was making earrings out of human bones!?), but then he paused. He felt a flash of excitement- his nemesis was posting again.

Moose-of-Letters posted: Ugh, it annoys me so much when people try to pass Gabriel off as someone who just has loads of sex and eats candy and does nothing else. Like whatever, you want an outlet for your kinks, but it’s just bad characterisation.

Oh, he knew who this was aimed at. He felt his feathers fluff in annoyance. They were vagueing about him? And for all the things they could go for, they decided to take aim at writing. He quickly batted away a twinge of insecurity. It was his aesthetic! Who were they to judge his style? He could write Gabriel however the hell he liked!

He had a strange moment of dissociation where he realised he’d been thinking of himself in the third person, but he brushed it off. Obviously they thought they were just judging a character, but there was no way he couldn’t take this personally. Gabriel was offended on behalf of his fictional self. He opened up a direct message window again.

Angel_In_the_Streets_Trickster_In_the_Sheets- Look, if you’ve got a problem with my fics, just come into my comments and flame me like a normal person.

It didn’t take long for a reply to come in.

Moose-of-Letters- What makes you think that post’s about your fics? Hmm it’s almost as though you know it’s a flaw in your writing

And then, before Gabriel could do more than gape at his screen in disbelieving insult,

Moose-of-Letters- And it’s not that I don’t enjoy your writing, but I find your characterisation of Gabriel is off. You write him as though he’s just this candy-addicted nymphomaniac when it’s obvious that those things are shields. I was just trying to get people to appreciate that he’s clearly a much more complex character with deeper motivations!

Shields!? Where were they getting this stuff? Gabriel liked sex! He loved sex! All hot people all the time!

Well, the best defence was a good offence.

Angel_In_the_Streets_Trickster_In_the_Sheets: Well if you’re so high and mighty, how would you characterise Gabriel? Sensitive with a side of Single Man Tears?

The jumping dots appeared under his reply. Then they stopped.

Gabriel smirked. Ha! Come back to that, dickweed!

But then the dots were back, the person on the other end obviously typing furiously. Gabriel watched, waiting for the answer to appear. What the hell were they writing, an essay? A novel? An epic?

Moose-of-Letters- Of course not. He’s an archangel, a warrior. But I think that Gabriel cares a lot more than he lets on. He’s got a huge heart, even though he tries his best to hide it because he’s been hurt by people he cares about. And I think that he feels a lot of hurt about his family. I think that’s why he gets so mad at Sam and Dean in TV land, because they remind him of his brothers, but he knows that he can’t yell at them directly so Sam and Dean get the brunt of his anger instead.

Gabriel winced. Not one of his better moments.

Moose-of-Letters- But I think that even more than loving his brothers, Gabriel loves humanity. In the Elysian Fields motel I think it’s clear that he feels guilty that he wasn’t strong enough to protect the humans from the apocalypse, even though that was never his fault. The Winchesters should have never guilted him into it, because every time he tries to help them he ends up dead.

Well, Moose wasn’t wrong.

The worst part was that he did seem to have Gabriel right so far. The guy had him bang on, whoopie for him. It wasn’t even like they were using that knowledge to insult him- they were defending him, even! But there was something painfully vulnerable about somebody laying out his character like that. Something violating. Like ripping off a scab and leaving the stinging, raw emotions underneath open to the elements.

And it made Gabriel angry. Suddenly, he realised that was what this feeling brewing in his chest and prickling behind his eyes was. His blood was boiling; who were these people to Know him? He hadn’t given out any of this information voluntarily!! It had been ripped from his control, the most intimate workings of his mind printed on pulp and handed out for people on the internet to pick over, like vultures at a carcass.  

Suddenly, the books didn’t seem so funny any more. He was starting to realise why the Winchesters had wanted them gone for all these years

Screw his Dad, seriously. A+ parenting all round.

He was about to angrily snap the laptop shut when another message popped up.

Moose-of-Letters- I think all the characters tend to underestimate Gabriel, in different ways, and I think that the writer did too. I just have a lot of admiration for his character because I can relate to a lot of what he’s gone through.

Gabriel deflated. These people didn’t know. They hadn’t got a clue that any of this was real. And this person in particular had obviously seen his character, him, for who he was, but they hadn’t run screaming. They were… defending him?

He stared at the screen, nonplussed. Why?

Angel_In_the_Streets_Trickster_In_the_Sheets: You really like Gabriel, huh?

Moose-of-Letters: I think it’s impossible to spend all this time getting to know about someone and not care about them.

Angel_In_the_Streets_Trickster_In_the_Sheets: and you think you know him? The real him?

Moose-of-Letters: I’d like to think so. Hey, sorry I came off as an asshole. And I’m sorry if I’ve been an asshole about other things as well. It’s just something I’m really passionate about.

Angel_In_the_Streets_Trickster_In_the_Sheets: That makes two of us.

Gabriel quirked an ironic little smile to himself. Even here, in the underbelly of the internet, people were still reminding him why he’d always defended humanity. Their ability for change and forgiveness was something he wished angels had a hang of. He kept typing.

Angel_In_the_Streets_Trickster_In_the_Sheets: I guess I should apologise for the insults, even if they were super creative. And you’re not a bad writer yourself. My dad was a writer once, and you’re definitely better than him. I’m pretty new to it.

Moose-of-Letters: I’d be happy to give you some pointers if you’ll give me some! your smut is hot as hell ;)

Gabriel laughed, properly this time. Oh, he could already tell this was going to be a very fruitful alliance.

                                                          .o0o.

Goldenhorns posted- There’s nothing weirder than seeing Angel_In_the_Streets_Trickster_In_the_Sheets and Moose-of-Letters getting along. It’s like watching God and Satan getting pally.

Vatican-came0s commented: Correction; there’s only one thing weirder than seeing Angel_In_the_Streets_Trickster_In_the_Sheets and Moose-of-Letters getting along, and it’s seeing them give each other fic suggestions. How the hell is that even happening!?

Gabes-hoe commented: I have no idea, but they will have the most gorgeous plotty-smutty literature babies together

Guess_who_lost_a_shoe commented: I for one welcome our new fic creating overlords!

Gabriel smirked as he saw the post crop up on his dash. It was definitely more entertaining watching everyone’s sudden confusion at them getting along than it ever had been when he was trying to make them angry.

It was the strangest friendship he’d ever made, and coming from someone who’d spent several centuries as a trickster god, that was saying something.

But he and Moose (as he’d insisted on calling him) had started talking more and more over the last three weeks, and the more they talked, the more Gabriel was realising that they had in common. Seeing his own character through someone else’s eyes was fascinating. And Moose was great once he’d got to know him- they might have different approaches to writing fic, but he was kind, level-headed, and an amazing writer with some awesome ideas. Gabriel was writing more now than he had in months-

“Gabriel, are you even listening?” Cas’ deep voice interrupted his thoughts. Gabriel’s head jerked up to where he was standing in front of the throne.

“Hmm yeah. Uh. What?”

Castiel rolled his eyes. “You are distracted again, brother. At least pretend to pay attention.”

But it was no use, not when his new favourite commenter popped up in his notifications. Gabriel snatched a glance at his notes between appointments. Oooh, Moose was commenting on his WIPs.

Moose-of-Letters- Love the descriptions! Maybe put a short bridging scene between them meeting in the club and getting to the shibari, though? The transition feels a little abrupt.

Gabriel nodded to himself. Moose was right, it did need another scene in there before it got to the bondage part- he’d do that later. But working on his ever-growing library would have to wait. He turned his phone to silent, stowing it in a pocket. It was almost time for the weekly appointment he looked forward to and dreaded in equal measure; going to visit Sam.

                                                         .o0o.

Sam had spent most of the morning alternating between frantically researching or repeatedly checking his phone, trying to keep himself busy enough with making protective hex bags for the new hunters that he could stay calm and prepare himself for Gabriel's weekly visit. But he still didn’t feel either calm or prepared when the beating of wings filled the kitchen.

Gabriel appeared with a pop in front of him, tugging the collar of that leather jacket he favoured these days back into place. The archangel nodded at him, looking him up and down. “Sam.”

“Gabe.” Internally, Sam winced. Was ‘Gabe’ too informal? It felt too informal. Was it something he’d picked up from everything he’d been reading? He didn’t know any more! Fanfiction wasn't reality, he knew that damnit, but sometimes it just slipped out-

Gabriel, thankfully, didn’t seem to have noticed his internal struggle. He bounced on the balls of his feet, his arms swinging stiffly at his sides as he looked around the kitchen like he felt the awkwardness as keenly as Sam did.

The silence stretched out painfully. Sam had to say something. Anything.

“How are you?” he blurted, at the same time as Gabriel said, “So, wotcha been doing down here?” Sam snapped his mouth shut. Gabriel smirked, mischief twinkling in his eyes. “Ladies first.”

Normally, this would be where Sam would fire back something witty before they got down to business. But some fanart Sam had seen of Gabriel posing in an extremely short skirt and silky, lacy lingerie under it appeared behind his eyes like a goddamn real life pop-up. Sam cleared his throat, shaking it off.

They managed to get through most of Sam’s updates on the new hunters without him embarrassing himself, which Sam thought was a serious achievement. At some point they moved to sit at the kitchen table, Sam with his hands clasped in front of him. Gabriel was fiddling absentmindedly with one of the pieces of string Sam had been using to make the hex bags while Sam talked. “So yeah, we managed to get that demon nest cleared up before they could kill anyone else. I was worried we might have something more powerful on our hands, but it looks like it was just a very charismatic leader. I think he was running for candidacy for the king of hell.”

Gabriel nodded as he listened to Sam intently, twirling the string between his fingers, snapping it tight before letting it go slack again. “Good. As long as everyone downstairs is still distracted, we should be able to get established before they rally.” He glanced up. Was Sam imagining the way that tawny gaze softened when Gabriel looked at him? Was he searching for fondness that wasn’t there? He couldn’t tell any more.

Gabriel sat back with a dramatic sigh. “We’re nearly good to go up there, the souls and heavens are finally stable but I’m still trying to find another angel apart from Cassie with more personality than a banana skin…”

Sam found his attention trailing off, Gabriel’s hands holding his gaze, those clever fingers twisting and pulling at the string. A scene flashed past his eyes from Trickster’s latest fic that he’d read just that morning-

Gabriel gave one last tug on the ropes, pulling them tight. He looked down in satisfaction at the intricate series of loops holding his lover exactly where he wanted him- bent over the bed, legs slightly spread, back arched beautifully. An entire smorgasbord of skin, all laid out for him to enjoy.

Sam whined behind his gag. Gabriel could see him testing the knots, flexing his arms where they were tied behind his back, but he knew they would hold. Those tanned muscular thighs, gleaming with sweat, were straining against the ropes, but he was rocking against the silk sheets in a way that made it very clear he was still helplessly turned on.

Gabriel rested one hand against his back, stilling him. Slowly, he soothed the hand  upwards, and Sam melted at the contact. Finally he relaxed into the ropes’ embrace. The sight of Sam so willingly submitting himself to Gabriel’s complete control fanned the hunger burning in his gut flare into a roar-

“Sam? Hey, gigantor! Anybody home?”

Sam jerked, his eyes flashing guiltily to Gabriel’s. Gabriel raised a questioning eyebrow. Sam, to his mortification, felt himself flush scarlet. Gabriel’s eyebrow nearly disappeared into his hair.

Damn it, Sam, get it together! “Just… uh…” Sam cleared his throat. “Just thinking about demons. Uuuh, about going back to look for any we missed. Just in case. And we’re going to hunt wha I’m pretty sure is a chupacabra later, so… yeah. That as well.”

“Okay,” Gabriel still looked dubious. “Aaanyway, I gotta be getting back. The cherubs get jittery without someone telling them what to do every second of every day. But I should be back same time next week. What day is it again?”

Sam felt a lead weight form in his gut. He had to know, didn’t he? But time ran differently in heaven.

“It’s… it’s a Tuesday.” He couldn’t help the way his voice stuttered on that last word. Even after all these years, Dean still had to change the station whenever Asia came on the radio.

Sam saw Gabriel’s eyes widen. He froze awkwardly, his usual confident smirk slipping. Sam had no doubt that they were both thinking of the same thing- the six months that Sam had spent trapped in that time loop. The silence thickened.

Gabriel opened his mouth as though he was going to say something, grimaced, and Sam waited, his breath catching for a drawn-out second. Were they finally going to talk about this?

Then Gabriel closed it again in a huff. Sam tried not to show his slump of disappointment.

“So, same time next week?”

“Yeah, see you-” there was a flurry of flapping and Gabriel disappeared, “-next week,” Sam sighed.

He rubbed his face tiredly with one hand. Well, that could have gone better. Time to drown his sorrows in fanfiction.

                                                              .o0o.

Gabriel was in too deep, and he knew it.

He scowled at his latest WIP. He’d retreated to his favourite spot in the Garden and pulled up the kinkmeme prompt as soon as he got back from his little trip earth-side in the hopes that it would drive any residual anxiety out of his brain. No luck there. This was supposed to be porn, dad-damn it!  So why were they still talking? Why were they having a meaningful conversation instead of getting down and dirty? Where the hell had all these feelings come from?

He leaned back against the trunk of the nearest tree, staring out moodily across the sunlit clearing and the vast forest beyond. The problem, he grumped to himself, was what had happened that afternoon. He had put his foot in his mouth, again. Which wasn’t an unusual occurrence. There weren’t that many safe topics outside of work when it came to Sam.

And he had wanted to talk to Sam about Mystery Spot this time, he had! He wanted to move past this. He’d tried to get the words out. But as usual, he’d frozen, and his cowardice had won out. And then he’d run away. What the hell had he been thinking!?

Sam was his friend. Probably his last friend outside of heaven (well, apart from Moose). Sam had seen him at his lowest, cleaned him up and taken out those damn stitches, brought him back from being locked within his own mind, hell, even jumped in front of him to deflect Michael’s blade during that last desperate battle in the apocalypse world. Gabriel had hurt him and he wanted to fix it, but he just couldn’t get the words out.

A gentle breeze stirred around him. He took a deep breath of the sweet air, looking out into the once-busy emptiness of heaven.

Well, if he couldn’t apologise to Sam, at least fictional him could. Maybe it was time to take a leaf out of Moose’s book.

                                                         .o0o.

Sam bolted up the stairs, flinging himself into the nearest room and looking around wildly. Unfortunately it looked like it was a dead end- the window of the deserted shack was too small to squeeze through. Should he go and try another room?

But he was too late. The sound of the chupacabra they were hunting climbing it’s way up the stairs reached him. Shit! He’d have to hide.

Sam looked around, spotting a cupboard in the corner. He grimaced, climbing in. It wasn’t ideal, but it would have to do. Silently, he pulled the doors shut behind himself.

The creature reached the top of the stairs. There was a muted clicking of claws on wood. The overloaded groan of a floorboard.

The chupacabra stopped. It sniffed the air. Through the tiny gap between the doors, Sam could see its forked tongue flickering out to taste the air, bulging eyes peering around the room. Sam held his breath and hoped that its hearing wasn’t sharp enough to pick up his heart thumping against his ribs.

It hitched in a breath, and sneezed violently. Sam flinched. His grip on his machete was so tight that he was sure his knuckles were turning white. It snorted, shaking itself with a rattle of spines.

With another grunt, it turned to leave. Sam dared to take the thinnest breath. His muscles relaxed just slightly.

PING!

The monster whirled. It’s lamplight eyes pinpointed the cupboard. Sam felt his phone vibrate in his pocket with the notification and had a moment to screw his eyes shut. Fuck! Why hadn’t he turned it off when they started!?

Luckily, at that moment, Dean’s war cry split the air. Sam leapt from the cupboard, machete already swinging. He could berate himself later. Right now, he had bigger fish to fry.

                                                             …

“Was the flamethrower really necessary?”

Dean looked back in satisfaction at the smoking remains of the shack. “The flamethrower is always necessary.”

Sam rolled his eyes, sliding into the front seat. He hoped he got soot on the upholstery.

Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he was relieved to see that it didn’t appear to have been damaged in the fight. The screen was still whole. He powered it on, and there it was, the notification that had nearly got him killed.

Archive Of Our Own

[AO3] Angel_In_the_Streets_Trickster_In_the_Sheets just posted a new work :)

Sam groaned. Fanfiction was literally going to be the death of him.

                                                        .o0o.

Moose-of-Letters commented: Hey, I like the new fic, it’s different from your usual. Sorry I didn’t comment earlier, I was a bit distracted.

Gabriel smiled as he opened his email. His new favourite commenter had picked up on it, because of course they had.

Angel_In_the_Streets_Trickster_In_the_Sheets: Yeah, guess this fic is your influence ;)

It had stuck with him, that conversation with Sam. Or rather, the parts of it that hadn’t happened. He’d been thinking about it, really thinking about it, in the times between his heavenly appointments.

Re-reading the book featuring Mystery Spot from Sam’s point of view had been quite an eye-opener. He’d been so focused, the first time, on getting Sam to stop that he hadn’t truly realised what he was doing to him in his desperation. It had made him wonder- what would he do, if he could go back and change it all? Knowing what he did now, would he have been able to make a difference? He thought he might.

And if he were to talk to Sam about it now, what could he ever say to apologise to Sam for what he’d done to him?

A lot of that had made it onto the page. It was heavier than what he usually wrote, but somehow Gabriel felt lighter for it.

Moose-of-Letters: About the Mystery Spot, do you really think that Gabriel was doing any of that for Sam?

Gabriel sighed. He should have known that Moose would want to talk characterisation. What should he say?

Well, there was nothing stopping him from telling the truth.

Angel_In_the_Streets_Trickster_In_the_Sheets: I think he was doing that all for Sam. Gabriel was just trying to prepare Sam for Dean’s inevitable death- he knew the apocalypse was about to go down, remember? He knew what was coming, and he was trying to avert it.

Gabriel bit his lip, his fingers pausing over the keyboard. Was he really gonna pour his heart out to random strangers on the internet? Really?

But now he started, he just couldn’t seem to stop his fingers. And anyway, Moose wasn’t really a stranger at this point.

Angel_In_the_Streets_Trickster_In_the_Sheets: Gabriel couldn’t go to Sam directly because he’s got a soft spot for him. He likes him. He doesn’t like seeing humans get hurt who don’t deserve it, and the fact that his brothers are gonna cause so much destruction and he can’t do a thing to stop it is breaking his heart. That bit at the end where he gives in? He just couldn’t do it anymore, Sam out-stubborns him. He knows he wouldn’t be able to stand to see Sam hurting, and in the end? That’s why he failed. His love for humans is his weakness, the way he cares for Sam in particular.

There. It was out.

Gabriel pushed his laptop away, closing his eyes and resting his face in his hands. He needed a moment.

                                                        .o0o.

Sam sat back. Huh.

He honestly hadn’t expected Trickster’s first foray into more serious fics to be much good. Not because he couldn’t write- obviously he could, his work had been featuring heavily in Sam’s spank bank (as Dean would call it) for months now. Heavy-hitting just wasn’t his speciality, that was all.

But he had written it. And it was good.

It was emotional, and raw, and almost painfully in-character. Gabriel’s confession, his betrayal and his grief and anger and guilt were all so real that Sam wondered if Trickster had gone through something similar in his own life. He hadn’t been able to resist asking what Trickster thought Gabriel’s motivations were. He wished he could be as sure as Trickster was that Mystery Spot had been about Gabriel trying to save him. And he secretly doubted that Gabriel had given up his attempt because he cared for him. Not in real life.

But he could let himself live this fantasy for just a little longer, couldn’t he? He felt a pang in his heart that he was never going to have this conversation with Gabriel himself. This was probably as close as he was ever gonna get.  

Slowly, Sam started typing.

Moose-of-Letters- Well, I think you’re right about Sam being stubborn. But it wasn’t Gabriel’s fault that Sam didn’t learn that lesson- I don’t think he ever would have. He was in too deep to ever realise what Gabriel was trying to say.

Sam hesitated, biting his lip. He started typing again.

Moose-of-Letters- I think they would both have been a lot happier if Gabriel had been able to get through to him. I wish it had gone like your fic in canon.

Angel_In_the_Streets_Trickster_In_the_Sheets: You and me both, Moose.

Sam smiled sadly. If only.

Moose-of-Letters- I’m not sure you’re right about Gabriel’s mercy being his weakness though. His love for humanity is what makes him different from his brothers. It’s what makes him human- it’s the thing that really drew me to his character in the first place. His love for humans might put him in the firing line, but I think it’s one of his greatest strengths as well. And I think his incredible empathy is one of the reasons why Sam would love him, as well as everything else they have in common. When it comes down to it, he’s ready to lay down everything for humanity too. They’re really kindred spirits.

Moose-of-Letters- Maybe if you’re trying angst I should give smut a go :P

And really, everything went downhill from there.

Part 2, coming soon!

#lemon #sabriel #a citrusy boi #Gabriel Monthly Challenge

[abberryyang]

Memory Monday

When I returned to Tumblr, there was an 0licity and anti LL page that decided to follow me, despite the fact that I was an adamantly a Laurel Lance and Nolicitiy fan. I felt they were only using me, to see “what was up” when it came to Laurel Lance or what arguments were floating around - and I didn’t have time to deal with extra people like that, so I called them out.

It was a pretty nasty experience, especially since it wasn’t a call out post like “fuck you” or “shit on your life” - it was a “please unfollow me I don’t want to deal with your bullshit”, sort of thing. Well, the person, being as extra as they were, blew it up beyond measures and is apparently an old fart who has a cult of followers for their fanfics. 

That person tried to diminish me with their amt of followers, fics written, and age; while also saying that “if you have your ass hanging out, better expect someone to slap it, and everyone give the person who slapped your ass a standing ovation), continued calling me “pet names” when I politely asked them not to. That person even told a follower of mine to not have a “spaz attack”, quit being bipolar, and more ableist things. It was such a disgusting experience that I was about to leave, because it was so mean and I had no one backing me up - but then I called out that person for being ableist, promoting sexual harassment, and just being a terrible person. It was the last straw and I was not going down without a fight.

I ended up getting some followers from that terrible experience. Instead of giving up, I decided to be stronger, better than that person, and I am where I am now.

Of course, there is something that I want to confess to you all, is I can’t bare to see a certain gif, because someone said, in response to the person who said those terrible things to me, and I’m paraphrasing, “yes, use that switch on them, teach them manners!” It was  gif of a young black girl, in a school uniform, praising something - a young black girl.

Now, I don’t know why I link everything I experienced to this one gif, but I think it had more to do with: “how could you use that gif with the word “switch” in it?” I was filled with so much anger at the blatant use of something so historical, a ‘switch’ with a black person. hTere are so many terrible connotations with that, heavy connotations, and coming from a black school that lived and breathed black history - I was fuming.

The person never unfollowed me.

I made it a daily thing to visit the nolicity and anti tags to spam the person’s wall, so they would unfollow me - it worked and I gained some followers along the way.

It’s been a little over a year since that incident, and I still think about it. 

It wasn’t my first terrible experience, it definitely wasn’t my last either, but I think it’s because the person had so much “influence” and was such a hateful person. That’s when I realized that these people are probably Trump supporters, and they are probably doing it in hiding - that or Tumblr has them believing they aren’t when they spew the same exact hate and ignorance he does. 

With such a big follow and hatred in their heart, eventually I got wind of the person again, and they were trying to destroy someone’s gifset of Laurel as someone “weak” and “not strong”. I wanted to be there for the gifset maker the same way I wished someone had been there for me, and I let the maker know that the person wasn’t worth talking to because of my run in with them. The maker blocked that hateful person, and that’s when I realized how wonderful the block button was.

The hateful person tried to respond to my post about them but couldn’t. 

I didn’t even find out you could look up your username to see who’s been talking about you until a few months later. When I finally decided to see who’s tagged me or talked about me, I found out they fake tagged me in something (lol) (when I say fake tag, it never alerted me of the tag, and they just copy and pasted my webpage so I wouldn’t be alerted of it). It was rather...interesting, and it definitely lmk that I came out on top. I really am better than them, than this, and I never responded - I didn’t have to fight to win, to stay under their skin, and I came out as a better person. I went back to look for it, walking down memory lane and whatnot, and couldn’t find it. Maybe they blocked me? Maybe they decided to be a better person, themselves, and deleted the post? Dunno.

All I can say is I’m happy that part of my life is over with.

Slowly, over time, I know I’ll leave the Arrow fandom indefinitely. Until then, I have the memories of my fandom experience to hold onto, this was just one of the worst.

#about me #personal #anti olicity fandom #nolicity #i am just glad it's over #and I am so glad I learned how to properly tag right away #whew #never had to deal with being in the wrong lane

[underabr0kensky]

This is fucking long but people seem to like when I do these like surveys

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? Honestly I’m not sure. It’s been quite a while. Probably Lila, but we don’t even talk anymore thankfully lol

2. Are you outgoing or shy? Outgoing normally. Sometimes I’m shy if I’m out of my element.

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? OZGE. Fucking plane tickets are so expensive.

4. Are you easy to get along with? For the most part yeah, but if our views clash I can get kinda opinionated.

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? She’d probably tuck me in and lie down with me and stroke my hair tbh. And maybe force me to drink water :P

6. What kind of people are you attracted to? Anyone who is intelligent, artistic, creative, open-minded, inquisitive, and likes to have conversations.

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? Probably not an “official” relationship, but hey. :)

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? Ahaha, she knows who she is.

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Nope. I’m so open about it some people get uncomfortable though.

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Ozge :). It was about serial killers haha

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? “Sammy burgers lol”

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? I can’t pink really. But there’s one song by Takeo Ischi about yodeling to chickens that I’m pretty obsessed with.

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? Fucking yes. It’s really relaxing.

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? Luck, yes, sort of. Miracles not so much.

15. What good thing happened this summer? Well, the past summer was easily the worst of my life. But hopefully this one will be better.

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Nah.

17. Do you think there is life on other planets? I think the universe is too fucking huge for us to be alone.

18. Do you still talk to your first crush? Nope, but I still remember her name.

19. Do you like bubble baths? Nah. Gimme a nice hot shower.

20. Do you like your neighbors? I don’t know them. But they have cows that I moo at sometimes.

21. What are you bad habits? Drinking, eating/drinking shitty food, and driving like a fucking maniac.

22. Where would you like to travel? Europe. Specifically Germany. Specifically Berlin. <3

23. Do you have trust issues? Holy shit, yeah.

24. Favorite part of your daily routine? Getting off fucking work.

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? My smile, I suppose. I don’t like it.

26. What do you do when you wake up? Curse god for giving me a job that gets me out of bed at 5 AM.

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? I’m cool with my skin tone.

28. Who are you most comfortable around? Phil, Trey, Ozge, and Sasha.

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? Yeah, usually after they cheated on me. Bitches.

30. Do you ever want to get married? Yes I do.

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail? Yep. It’s tied into a half-pony right now.

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? Emma Stone and Emma Watson.

33. Spell your name with your chin. cvolnnberrt

34. Do you play sports? What sports? I’m into boxing, that’s really it. I like watching football though.

35. Would you rather live without TV or music? TV. I barely watch TV anyway, I’d kill myself without music.

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Yep, a couple of times.

37. What do you say during awkward silences? I usually just let them go, silence is nice.

38. Describe your dream girl/guy? Reference the earlier question that asked what my “type” is or something to that effect. Lucky me, I know someone like that :)

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? I don’t really have a favorite, but I go to Kroger a lot.

40. What do you want to do after high school? I haven’t been in high school since 2011, but back then I just wanted to go to college.

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? No, not everyone.

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? Probably that I’m tired, pissed off, or just sad.

43. Do you smile at strangers? Sometimes, if I’m in a good mood.

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? That’s actually hard. Outer space, but I’d love to go to the ocean floor.

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? My alarm. And a certain person. :)

46. What are you paranoid about? Being alone/being replaced/someone getting bored/tired of me.

47. Have you ever been high? Yeah. I’m not really a fan.

48. Have you ever been drunk? I get drunk a fucking lot.

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? Nah. I haven’t done any super secret spy missions or anything.

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? Black and red plaid.

51. Ever wished you were someone else? Yeah, a few times.

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? My fucking LOCATION.

53. Favourite makeup brand? I don’t wear makeup, son. I’m too cheap for that shit.

54. Favourite store? I dunno. Probably Hastings.

55. Favourite blog? @am-i-evil Seriously she makes really cool gifsets.

56. Favourite colour? Black.

57. Favourite food? Lasagna.

58. Last thing you ate? Mac and cheese.

59. First thing you ate this morning? PB+J.

60. Ever won a competition? For what? Yeah, I’ve won several spelling bees.

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? I got in-school suspension a couple of times for skipping detentions that I got for skipping class. I skipped a lot. Fuck the po po.

62. Been arrested? For what? Nope. We almost got arrested for arson once though because we were tossing Lysol cans into a bonfire and watching them explode.

63. Ever been in love? Yeah, I have.

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? I liked her for like a year, she moved to another county and another school, we randomly ran into each other in Wal-Mart, and we went back to the garden section to talk and ended up kissing. I was 14.

65. Are you hungry right now? Nope, I just ate.

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? I like them as much as my best friends.

67. Facebook or Twitter? Facebook, but I don’t really like either.

68. Twitter or Tumblr? Tumblr motherfucker.

69. Are you watching tv right now? Nope.

70. Names of your bestfriends? Phil, Trey, Ozge.

71. Craving something? What? A trip to Germany and a shot of vodka.

72. What colour are your towels? Tan or grey.

72. How many pillows do you sleep with? Two.

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Yeah, I have a stuffed Grim Reaper and two stuffed cars.

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? Like 5.

75. Favourite animal? Cat. Or maybe snek.

76. What colour is your underwear? Right now I’m just wearing pajama shorts. No underwear, you pervert.

77. Chocolate or Vanilla? Vanilla.

78. Favourite ice cream flavour? Heath bar.

79. What colour shirt are you wearing? Black.

80. What colour pants? Dark blue.

81. Favourite tv show? House M.D.

82. Favourite movie? Goodfellas.

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? Mean Girls.

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? 21 Jump Street.

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? I don’t remember names. I’m not THAT big a fan.

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? Crush.

87. First person you talked to today? Ozge. :)

88. Last person you talked to today? Also Ozge.

89. Name a person you hate? Logan.

90. Name a person you love? Ozge.

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? There always is.

92. In a fight with someone? Nah, not currently.

93. How many sweatpants do you have? None actually.

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? I think 4.

95. Last movie you watched? The Rookie.

96. Favourite actress? Emma Watson.

97. Favourite actor? RDJ, Johnny Depp, or Leo DiCaprio.

98. Do you tan a lot? I do.

99. Have any pets? Nah, unfortunately.

100. How are you feeling? I’m good :)

101. Do you type fast? Yeah, 200+ words a minute last time I checked.

102. Do you regret anything from your past? Yes, a few things.

103. Can you spell well? I have won spelling bees. I told you this.

104. Do you miss anyone from your past? Yeah, of course I do.

105. Ever been to a bonfire party? Yeah! They’re fun as fuck.

106. Ever broken someone’s heart? I have, unfortunately.

107. Have you ever been on a horse? Mhmm. It was interesting.

108. What should you be doing? Getting ready to pick my dad up.

109. Is something irritating you right now? Yes. It’s fucking hot.

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? I do right now.

111. Do you have trust issues? You asked me this. This is why I have trust issues you piece of shit.

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? I honestly have no idea.

113. What was your childhood nickname? “Bob-o”

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? Yeah, many many times.

115. Do you play the Wii? Nope. I hate Nintendo.

116. Are you listening to music right now? Yes. The chicken yodeling.

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? Yeah!

118. Do you like Chinese food? Sometimes. I’m picky about it.

119. Favourite book? Bag of Bones by Stephen King.

120. Are you afraid of the dark? Nope. I like it.

121. Are you mean? I can be if I’m pissed, but usually I’m nice or so I’m told.

122. Is cheating ever okay? Fucking no.

123. Can you keep white shoes clean? Hell no.

124. Do you believe in love at first sight? Not really, but I definitely believe in mutual attraction/chemistry at first sight.

125. Do you believe in true love? Yes.

126. Are you currently bored? Nah :)

127. What makes you happy? Music, Ozge, food, alcohol.

128. Would you change your name? Nope.

129. What your zodiac sign? Libra.

130. Do you like subway? It’s okay.

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? Well, I mean. I like her back. Soooo. I guess I’d do that.

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? Ozge. You asked me this too, fuckface.

133. Favourite lyrics right now? THE CHICKEN YODELING, DUDE

134. Can you count to one million? Yes, but fuck me I’d get bored.

135. Dumbest lie you ever told? Some stupid shit about my friend having a bad dream when he was rolling around drunk and being loud.

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? Closed. Fuck open doors.

137. How tall are you? 6′

138. Curly or Straight hair? Wavy. Happy medium.

139. Brunette or Blonde? Brunette.

140. Summer or Winter? Summer. I fucking hate cold.

141. Night or Day? Night.

142. Favourite month? October.

143. Are you a vegetarian? Hell no, I am damn near a carnivore.

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? White.

145. Tea or Coffee? Those are both gross.

146. Was today a good day? Yes it was.

147. Mars or Snickers? Snickers.

148. What’s your favourite quote? “I choose to live rather than just exist”

149. Do you believe in ghosts? I’d like to, but I’ve never had any proof.

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? “The Russian prisoners who had been incarcerated in this open-air camp were given no food or water.”

#personal #survey #about me #fuck yeah