#idk how to explain how bad it got.

[gunkbaby]

never showed u guys my guinea pigs (had to give the ferrets back - in tags)

this is jarvis

#i have 3 of them will show the others l8r #So abt the ferrets #i was told they had: 1) no history of abuse 2) no behavioural issues 3) had only been rehomed twice #All of this was not true #idk how to explain how bad it got. #i was prepared for the ferrets bein difficult right #Like i expected 2 toddlerz #but they had issues 4 sure #We found out that they have been rehomed 7 times already #they’re at a special behavioural ferret place now #it rly devastated me #I hate rehoming/giving animals back #thatswhy i ended up in hospital after they were gone i decided to overdose #i am a failure. I failed them #so i was like ‘fuck it’ #and i did it #it was dumb huh #the ferrets weren’t evil #i dont hate them #But i was scared of them #It got to a point where i locked myself in the bathroom 24/7 bc they had my flat to themselves #I couldn’t leave the room to play with them or sit and do my work bc they would always bite me #For no reason #like i thought they were scared or upset or bored and i did everything to try and help that #but they would bite and drag into my skin #i was bleeding constantly and one of them kept going for like arteries #i knew they bite so at first i was like ‘whatever’ but they got worse #I couldnt interact w them anymore #I loved them a lot #I love ferrets

[sacredthefran]

I feel like a Victorian man seeing an ankle for the first time

#idk how to explain #but his little ear poking out has got me feeling craaaaazy #and his smile 🥺 #he’s so cute #jolly karlsson #jolly bad omens #joakim jolly karlsson

[michi-chelle-draws]

some madarame doodles!

#slow damage #madarame kei #fanart #sketch #idk just playing w angles and perspectives and such. ignore the bad anatomy #i felt like drawing madarame a bunch. it’s giving towa core fr #the second pic is towa and madarame’s dynamic after madarame’s madness end in a nutshell #and the third pic is pov madarame’s got a crush on u #oh madarame #i always found towa and madarame’s relationship super interesting #because they’re the absolute worst for each other #but because of that they’re super compatible y’know? idk how to explain it. u get the vibes.

[puppyeared]

i wanna post my skip to loafer art but i cant do it knowing ppl are gonna put it on tiktok and pinterest bc itd be like. bringing an invasive species ykwim

#my meds just kicked in so im feeling talkative but truly idk how to explain it #its like. with anything else id be more than happy to introduce it to ppl like monkie kid and mp100. witch hat maybe but its personal to me #but skip to loafer is special to me. and i feel bad for saying this bc other ppl do deserve to watch smth they will enjoy #hell the reason i got into it was bc my friend was kind enough to lend me her copy and i got hooked #its so ironic im saying this esp given how insecure i am abt depicting characters wrong. but i really dont want to look thru the tags #and see them on a 'can i copy your homework' tier list. or ppl getting mad abt why egashira mitsumi and shima cant just be a throuple #its just!! i wont stop you if thats how you like to engage with the show or how you interpret it bc ill just ignore it and leave u alone!! #and theres no objective wrong way of doing it!! and i know that interacting with the work is what forms a community after all!! #but keeping it tight knit is just easier for me bc nobody has to worry abt making each other laugh and we can enjoy it for what it is #fully aware im saying this as someone whos drawn monkie kid art with text post memes and owl house draw the squad templates #but at the same time i just. dont want to explain myself or give ppl reasons why shima and mitsumi are ace coded just bc it 'feels right' #fandom is a communal thing and it feels so hypocritical thinking this. too many conflictng thoughts that idk what to act on #yapping

[wikiangela]

wip wednesday

tagged by @jesuisici33 @callaplums @daffi-990 @loserdiaz @thewolvesof1998 @disasterbuckdiaz @fortheloveofbuddie 💖💖

made a bit of progress on the sick fic so here it is🤷

prev snippet

___

“Maybe we should get you to a doctor.” Buck muses, wrapping the blanket over Eddie’s shoulders.

“I don’t need- I just closed my eyes for a second. I’m fine.” he grumbles, fumbling with the blanket too long to want to actually throw it off, but he does in the end – he’s cold and refuses to admit it, and he’d rather sit here and pretend he’s fine. He’s impossible.

“Eddie, that cough did not sound fine.” he points out. 

“Buck-” he sneezes, and then wraps the sleeves of his hoodie over his palms. Buck raises his eyebrow, and Eddie pointedly avoids his eyes, as he not-so-discreetly wipes his nose with a sleeve. 

“I bought tissues.” Buck reaches for the bag and digs out a box, then tries to give it to Eddie, who, instead of taking it, just levels him with a stare, as he sniffles loudly, and swipes a sleeve under his nose again. “Seriously? You’re gonna be gross and disgusting just to prove you’re not sick?” That’s a new level of stubborn Buck hasn’t seen from Eddie yet. He can’t believe this is the man his heart decided it wants. And that even while sick and gross and stubborn and ridiculous, a part of Buck is still endeared by him.

“I’m not.” Eddie insists, sounding so congested Buck swears he can feel it in his own sinuses. “Let me just finish my coffee, and then I-” another sneeze. “Have so much to do today.” he finishes, but at least this time he reaches for the tissues, looking anywhere but at Buck, cheeks red.

“Yeah, no, all you’re gonna do today is rest and take some medicine.” Buck says decisively, then takes the bag in his hand, and slowly starts walking to the kitchen. “Get comfortable, and I’ll just put this all away and be right back. I bought meds, tissues, and something to cook you some soup-” he starts listing off, getting louder the further he gets. “Oh, and stopped by the farmer’s market to get honey. Did you know that honey has antioxidant and antibacterial properties?” he asks excitedly, ready to tell Eddie every single thing he found in his quick research. Buck learned a long time ago that with Eddie he doesn’t need to hold back and can rant and ramble all he wants, and Eddie is happy to listen to him.

“Yeah?” Eddie yells back, voice hoarse and strained. Buck can hear the couch shift as Eddie gets comfortable, maybe even finally lays down. He knows Eddie won’t just give in and admit he’s sick, but this is a start. “Why don’t you tell me all about it?” he sounds genuinely interested, though also really tired. 

“I will, just a sec! I’ll make you some tea with lemon and honey, how’s that sound?” he asks, and gets a grunt in response, though he’s not sure if that’s an answer, or if Eddie’s just trying to suppress a cough in an attempt to hide that he’s sick, as if Buck didn’t already know. He chuckles to himself. He really has his work cut out for him today.

___

no pressure tags: @elvensorceress @gayarthur @diazass @thebravebitch @silentxxsoul @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @arthursdent @diazblunt @911onabc @eddiediaztho @housewifebuck @lover-of-mine @gayhoediaz @rogerzsteven @watchyourbuck @hoodie-buck @monsterrae1 @hippolotamus @ladydorian05 @forthewolves @honestlydarkprincess @wildlife4life @spotsandsocks @eowon @theotherbuckley @weewootruck @thewolvesof1998 @giddyupbuck @disasterbuckdiaz @hoodie-buck @spotsandsocks

#wip wednesday #sick eddie fic #eddie is so ridiculous in this lmao #this is really gonna be so silly and fluffy i can't wait haha #buddie fic #buddie wip #buddie #wikiangela writes #my writing #fic snippet #my wips #still lowkey stuck on alive shannon and coffee shop #and this one isnt going so smoothly either #but im here and trying to work on it all! #ngl i still feel so fucking bad and exhausted and awful and sad i cant even explain it #i thought itd be better and id be back to myself after my cold and my period were over but nope #thought about taking a lil break from writing but tbh idk how id cope without it so pushing myself through it lol #this got venty lmao ignore me #i think this silliness is exactly what i need rn hahaha

[harvestmoth]

okay now for a bunch of scribbles im not finishing

#first three are from the fact that i just got blacksteeple castle and instead of playing the game i felt like scribbling #next one is just me trying to get used to drawing ariana shes a lot of fun to draw + tiny interceptor oc idea thingsidk #then what i like to call #leaving your shitty bird husband for his much hotter deer ex wife #which is from the fact that in the room you first meet braixen in theres a book anathea owned calling how to deal with domestic abuse. #wwhy is that there and wow i hate vitus so bad #then idk venilla (?) sleeping headcanon or something #the erin and melia hug from the library that definitely did not make me tear up seeing the first time #melia and her fucked up bird based on gold pokespe and her and patience taking a nap #and finally idk an idea of melia being a shiny hunter with insane luck always in a no pokemon au #which would take place in the normal guys with weird animals au from. i don’t remember when #okayvthere explained everything #anyways i love rhat loser glitter girl and her goofy pokemon

[imminent-danger-came]

I love reading your tags- especially when theres just even MORE info dumping there.

The least favorite character ask made me giggle a bit, "This character that appeared for a single episode is actually pretty cool. And this character is really awesome in this particular context. But ALSO I really like this character with very little actual screentime."

You‘re absolutely right though! Characters whose only purpose is to fill a particular role are chosen really well too! Like the Host Girl; sure, she doesn’t really have a personality or anything, but she doesn’t NEED to have one. As you said, she‘s collateral damage. She gives us more insight to Wukong, she shows us just how ruthless he can be. He‘s willing to kill the epitome of innocence: A child. A defenseless little girl with a cutesy voice, who was just in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

(It‘s also worth a mention that, contrary to Wukong, she revealed a softer side of Macaque. Not to the extent the fandom built it up, but in an arguably more meaningful way. He‘s worried/feels bad for a total stranger. Even if it was only a concerned look, she once again gave us a deeper insight to a member of the main cast.)

And the characters with less focus either have really genuine interactions (Yellow Tusk with Azure) that just endear you to them, or they drop a banger line (like the Jade Emperor) before their purpose is fulfilled.

Nothing wrong with being a plot device if it‘s done well!

This wasn‘t really much of an ask rather than me rambling. Sorry.

I welcome rambles in my ask box! Half of you that show up in my ask box could just write your own analysis posts.

And you're also totally right! There isn't anything wrong with characters that are there just to function as plot devices. Sometimes a child is there just to be a child, and that's all they need to be. I think I feel this way about Megapolis (a name for the city that hasn't even been mentioned in show). Like it's a city filled with innocent people, it's MK & the Gang's home, and that's all it kinda needs to be tbh. LMK has to be extremely tight with what it chooses to focus on because of time constraints, and it does that well. When it comes down to it, focusing on the characters/plot is more important than focusing on the setting (which I think debatably wouldn't contribute much anyways—like we don't need more of a reason to care about the city, you know?).

I have this same opinion when it comes to the Demon Bull Family, which may be an unpopular take, but the truth is that a lot of their development happened off-screen. After ROTSQ and until we see them again in 3x06, it's clear that there have been positive changes between Red Son and his parents. I think I've seen some folk want Red Son to cut off his parents entirely, but that kinda goes against the core of his character. Part of Red Son's appeal for me is his complete devotion to his family despite their flaws (saving them in ROTSQ and EYD, attempting to save them in 4x09). Red Son and Princess Iron Fan only ever wanted world domination because that's what DBK wanted, and after that failed—they gave up. They hit the bricks. Red Son then started a food business with his dad (jealous of MK and Pigsy's noodle shop mayhaps?), and I think it's telling that DBK would even agree to do that to begin with. DBK and PIF's disregard of Red Son may not be acknowledged in the way people want, and I get that, but it's not that it didn't happen. I'd say there's another jump in their development between the end of 3x14 and the beginning of 4x09, where the fact that DBK calls out for Red Son as he gets taken away shows a closeness between them that we hadn't seen before. It's also clear that DBK has grown past the person who only wanted to create the world in his own image, chastising Azure Lion:

Demon Bull King: "How many times must you be struck down chasing this same foolish dream?"

(4x09 Roast of the Monkie Kids)

-

(Plus "This pursuit of yours has warped your mind brother—it is the only reason I could imagine that you would have the nerve to assault my home and harm my family!" echoing PIF in 1x10 "Come to your senses, this power has poisoned your mind!"; Azure unreasonably considers DBK a traitor like DBK had unreasonably considered Red Son a traitor, etc.)

DBK, unlike plenty of other antagonists in LMK (Spider Queen, LBD, and Azure specifically), learned to stop and accept the world as it was. He failed as a conqueror, but he still had his family, and he could try and not fail as a father for his "half-baked son"—or that's how I interpret DBK anyhow.

((I also want to bring up the fact that DBK didn't dare use the Samadhi Fire ring he had to power himself up with Red Son's furnace in AHIB. Like, even the Mr. Bull King has some restraint—there are prices too great to pay for the world, hence why he gave up on world domination after 1x10, when he almost killed his wife and son.))

To me it makes the Demon Bull Family feel like characters that exist outside of MK & the Gang, and can grow/change even when they're not on screen with our main characters, and I think that's cool. We also legitimately didn't have time for anything else.

#So tldr on the way the DB family has been handled thus far: I get if people don't like it that's completely fair #but idk if it's objectively bad. #I know there's a Villad's interview out there where he says he thinks during s2 Red Son took a lot of time to himself #That he realized some thangs about how his parents had treated him you know #And I get if people are disappointed by that. Unfortunately they're minor characters at this point & we got a lot of other stuff to focus o #Me personally I like what we have #They are insane for paralleling the Demon Bull family's one scene in s4 with 1x10 #Like. Holy shit their writing is TIGHT #lmk #lego monkie kid #asks #lmk Red Son #lmk DBK #lmk PIF #lmk analysis #you know what I think I just realized I legitimately like DBK. Like a decent amount. #The way he looks away in shame from PIF in 3x06 before she explains the Samadhi fire's origins. Omg. Is that guilt??? #''So you can see it would be impossible for fools such as yourselves to control that power— #if even the spawn of the Demon Bull King himself could not.'' #OMG!!!!!!! #anyways

[meowjings-arsb]

Went to the nearby island and found this weird bird livin’ there… 🦜

#my stoof #signatured #milly’s arts #Was wondering what his clothes were made of+where he got them from #leaves? Feathers? Spare cloth/colored tarp? #did he make it himself over time? Maybe Birdie made it for him? #but then I remembered that the local parrots can literally build complete functioning buildings. and magical warp towers etc #so a child’s outfit wouldn’t be that hard tbh #stardew valley #sdv #leo #I wanna give him wings so bad #But his 2 heart cutscene is giving complications. Maybe he gets them later? Or just funzie doodles to draw in an au or smth #Idk man #I’m having fun practicing drawing my new stardew oc tbh #The other oc fool that fell for them still needs a complete design if I’m gonna make them roommates tho sjshsiehsjsh #Am I gonna make them a key part or just more of a background character who’s ‘there’ but not incredibly important? #Idk how to explain my mind dude #……… #Is anyone still reading this

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

:/

#prayer request #just... some mental stuff and sin issues that I am perfectly capable of working through #but I'm still a bit stuck in the loop of ''if I do anything wrong in my mind I have to confess to my parents'' #like... no I'm in my 20s now I don't have to self report on everything. I can handle it myself with self control prayer and repentance #I KNOW THIS. I just spent so long depending on my parents for emotional absolution that I get stuck in it #anyway. yeah pray for me?? #idk how to explain it but yeah. I have slipped into some bad/sinful habits mentally lately? and got hit with it this week #so. yeah

[pineappical]

I always thought is very tricky to draw that wrinkle that goes from the nose and around the mouth and still male it look good, but gosh you nail it in every art, super expressive and pretty. Looking at all your drawings 🔍🕵‍♀️ to properly appreciate and study it. But wow really in love with your art style is so expressive and pleasing to look at, and the colors are so pretty 👌👌👌👌

i LOVEEE drawing wrinkles!!! it makes faces soso so expressive and i try to add wrinkles to every character i draw whenever i can. and the fact i also love drawing characters smiling (they make me happy, so i want to be able to share my joy to other people by drawing them smiling too!) which of course makes that wrinkle around the nose and mouth more prominent :-)

im not a person that can draw well from memory, i use references excessively even if it doesnt turn out the same way from the reference im copying from in the end 😊

i drew these out real quick but i have no clue how to explain any of these so i just thought about sharing it with you anyways!

call it "cheating" or whatever, but most of the time i even trace over the reference just to have a base i can copy the expression im trying to draw from. i do art for fun and if it makes my process that much easier then. well!

anyhoo, ignore the fact these are all mr lassos... i just love him a whole bunch 💛

#im not saying 'tracing is good!' as a whole. never trace from other people's work and pass it off as your own obviously. i just think you - #can learn a whole bunch of tricks and how to draw specific things if you just Trace Over References #'ohh but youll never Get Good by just tracing though! :/' who cares. i love drawing men being silly and thats enough for me. #Getting Good be damned! #apologies if this doesnt make any damn sense LMAO !! i just got home a couple hours ago and its now 3am zzzz #pn.ask #theres also the matter of me being obsessed with handlebar facial hairs and how it 'removes' the upper lip when im drawing so i use the - #bottom part of the mustache as the line for the mouth itself #ITS THIS WHOLE PROCESS.... IDK!!!! wish i could explain it any better but i am. so bad at writing down my thoughts. why cant i just beam - #them directly into your mind smh #THANK YOU FOR THIS ASK THOUGHHHH i waited till i got home before answering it because i have some stuff i wanted to say

[thisisadonaldduckblognow]

the way i rewatch any part of rottmnt and once again come away from canon leo wondering where the actual heck are people getting this “oohhhh he only thinks he’s good for self sacrifice or as a tool, he has absolutely zero self worth whatsoever” instead of the canon version who’s kind of a manipulative lil stinker and KNOWS he has stuff to bring to the table but isn’t sure how to be Seen

it’s not that he thinks he’s worthless or not wanted. i fuckin promise you that about rise leo. he does not seriously think he is unloved or unwanted or ~one mistake away from being dropped by his own family~ or whatever

what he IS is rejection-sensitive in the way that makes any time he fails feel like the end of the world to HIM (setting aside that time he messed up and it did literally trigger the near-apocalypse and near deaths of him and his family lol), so he’d rather not try than risk messing up

#rottmnt #if i woobified raph the way ppl do leo itd be like 3k word essay on how #idk #the ms cuddles prank was actually extremely cruel and insensitive and CLEARLY why raph had so many trust issues #esp w his dad laughing at him etc etc etc etc like #i dont get it i really dont!!!! #like even as far as the movie goes raph kinda. suffered.... more. yk. #im not big on suffering olympics but like. #raph also self sacrificed and got physically beat up in the big alien fight #AND tortured AND mutated AND mind probed AND controlled into hurting his own family #raph literally starts the movie trying to explain to leo how it is HIS JOB to keep their whole family safe and ready for the next struggle #his entire finale arc is about how tied into the identity of protector and carrying them all he really is and how bad that is on him #fandom makes me so mad when the canon material itself i always enjoy and want to pick apart even for leo #(who frankly im burnt out on! bc of the overwhelming attention he always gets!)

[polyamorouspunk]

Honestly I could use a pep talk. This week the positive/negative whiplash has been horrible

Grace my love you have been such a comforting presence in my and a lot of other people’s lives. I’m so, so sorry that things haven’t been going spectacular for you but as I’ve said to you, having someone who is going through a lot of the same things that I am makes me feel so much less alone. I really, really hope that we can find some consistency in it all. Today when I was driving home I was thinking of that cliche “if you could have any superpower what would it be” and I thought “I wish I could control my emotions”. And I thought… that’s not a superpower. That’s something “normal” people can do. But I feel like I can’t. But maybe more things are in my control than I realize. Sometimes I do think that I make excuses for myself. And that’s not to say that we as human beings can control everything in our lives. In fact, it’s what we CAN’T control that brings us stress. Like other people changing their minds about plans and shit 😅 but that’s what makes us dynamic. That’s what makes us human. So I guess, you know, I would be bored or whatever if everything was easy and my life is perfect. I mean, we all need a little drama, right? Like the harmless kind. Like when you go through the drive-through and they give you the wrong order. It’s humbling. It gives us something to complain about. Like, I didn’t fuck up badly to warrant an entire Netflix show about it. At least it’s not THAT bad yet. And I mean. We have all, everyone here, made it through the worse times of our lives already. And sure, there’s every chance the worst thing that’s ever going to happen to us hasn’t happened yet (especially those of us who haven’t reached 25 yet) but honestly as I look back I feel like everything that really sticks out as bad to me isn’t more or less worse than the thing before or after it. It’s just the most present, so it’s the one that hurts them most. I’m GLAD I’m not 16, 18, 20 anymore, even if I had things then I wish I had now and have pain now I didn’t have then. Sometimes the things I have to look forward to don’t feel like enough but what is the alternative? I just have to keep going. I can’t give up. We can’t give up. We have to keep fighting. I refuse to be the one that knocks me down.

#I don’t know how much of a pep talk this is more just like #I feel you I see you this is what I have been telling myself so maybe some of that help you? #the other night I did this really weird exercise (?) #where I started mentally writing suicide notes to my loved ones #and I just started crying #and I reached a point where I was like holy shit I can’t do this anymore I would hurt too many people #and like as shitty and emotional as that was it was good? it was healthy? #I was like oh my god if I have to write a letter to my best friend’s brother’s baby telling her I’m sorry I never got to meet her when- #-she was older because I offed myself how could I do that to her fr like #I think the last ones I wrote in my head were to my 15 y/o cousins #and I was like how would my family explain to my cousins that I killed myself and wrote them a letter about it #would they read it at 15? 15 y/os shouldn’t have to read a suicide note #so honestly if things get bad that might be what I start trying as like an exercise idk #punk gets mail #personal

[iliterallydecepticanteven]

Being raised by adults who never apologized for their wrongdoings and always blamed their behavior on extenuating circumstances or someone else or their mental conditions really messed me up huh. Like all I asked was for you to apologize for yelling at me for asking you to hand me something because you thought my tone was wrong. But instead of an apology, I'm the one in the wrong because after all my tone was hostile to you and I need to remember that due to your ADHD you can't control your emotions. Nevermind the fact that I had carefully rehearsed the question in my head over and over again because this is not the first time this has happened. And I'm clearly a manipulative person for crying after being yelled at. Doesn't matter that I was thirteen, after all, I should've known better.

#sorry for the vent post #im just not in a good headspace lately #i just keeping going back to this #because i think it was my breaking point #kinda the moment i realized nothing was gonna change #because it didnt matter how hard i tried #and the fact that even now eleven years later when i explained to her how hurt i was by this interaction #it still gets brushed off and i still don't get an apology #like you wont apologize for the big problems you wont apologize for the small problems #it doesnt matter how much i explain how i was hurt i dont get an apology #id even settle for an insincere one at this point #and now being adult and recognizing how bullshit that behavior was #but being expected to carry on like usual because after all it was never that bad #nothing really terrible ever happened so why should i hold onto the past #idk man like 18 years of constantly walking on eggshells and carefully selecting every word and controlling my tone fucks a person up #and i dont wanna go back to that #nevermind the fact that my anxiety disorder got ignored and brushed off time and time again #nevermind the countless signs and panic attacks and weird behavior #mental health mattered until it was something you didnt have or inconvenienced you #then it was all in my head and i just had to grow a pair and act my age

[purecommemasolitude]

Okay admittedly I haven’t watched the movies yet so maybe it deteriorates but like. Chekov’s English is actually great he just has an accent? Sure it’s somewhat thick but in terms of comprehension, vocabulary, grammar, and speed, he’s got English on the level of pretty much any of the native speakers on the enterprise

#I don’t understand the Chekov’s got bad English jokes #and like it’s fully not that deep I do understand this #it’s just ?? to me #like that man is discussing and explaining complicated things that he has to react to immediately in his second language every day #so clearly his English isn’t that bad already. and then factor in the words he says and how correctly + quickly he says them? it’s good! #his English is good! #idk maybe it’s just me perceiving accents as more unrelated to language skill than most ppl do #og #pavel chekov #tos #star trek

[puppyeared]

footnotes arent enough I need you to talk to me like im fucking Amelia Bedelia

#this isn’t about anything in particular btw. I just have to add a lot of memos when I’m doing things because some things are done a certain #way and it isn’t explained well in the instructions. like my mom has instructions on her baking recipes right #but when it says stuff like add dry ingredients to wet ingredients it also means you don’t dump it in one go you add it slowly by portion #this is probably why I find videos and demonstrations the most helpful when I learn something. like I almost always ask someone to show me #how they do it because there could be something they do that’s already second nature and wouldn’t really be considered in an explanation yk #I don’t think I’m an exception either. when the rice is done cooking I divide it into 4 quarters to bless it #but there are a million ways to divide rice and it makes me think that one persons way of doing it or not doing it all is just as valid #theres also technically no wrong way to divide rice afaik. this means either all ways of dividing rice is safe or valid until we find some #universally terrible way of dividing rice. until that happens nobody really thinks about specifying HOW you divide the rice #source: I have anxiety starting and doing things for the first time because I got way too many people yell at me NONONO WHAT ARE YOU DOING #THATS WRONG while I’m in the middle of doing the thing. I would rather have people think I’m either very stupid or overly specific #than go thru the panic inducing fear of ‘YOURE DOING THIS WRONG OMG WHY DIDNT YOU ASK AHEAD OF TIME THIS WILL BE FUCKED UP FOREVER’ 🧍 #nothing wrong if you don’t give something a second thought because you’re so used to it. but I can and will ask about it and I don’t think I #really should feel bad about it if I don’t know enough to dispute it. idk #the other way around I try to be as specific as possible and word things in a way that people who might not get where I’m coming from will #understand. but the problem with that is my explanations tend to be lengthy and I lose them either way 🗿 #Im. trying to work on that using examples and stuff because they seem to work the best #but if I could write everything down on a word doc and beam it into your melon that would save both of us time and embarassment #im rambling the short version is I have adhd #yapping

[acesammy]

Honestly growing up is realizing that normal people don’t have to set timers to remember they’re cooking ramen… which notoriously only takes 3 minutes to cook… and maybe I do have adhd

#Trying to explain to my sister in law that I sometimes accidentally set a microwave time to 1 minute when I mean for it to be 20 seconds #and I go ‘oh it’s fine I will just stop it at 20 seconds’ #but then in those 20 seconds /I then forget I’m cooking something/ #bc my attention is drawn away #and next thing I know I’ve got a cookie that’s literally on fire in the center #and the way this is such a common thing for me #(not necessary w a cookie lol. But the cookie one has happened enough that I’ve legit set off multiple fire alarms w it) #Or yeah the fact that I p much /have/ to set a timer for pasta bc I will 100% forget I’m making pasta if I don’t #Or the literal HELLSCAPE that is laundry bc there’s so fucking many steps to it and it’s soooooo easy to forget it in the washing machine #I was just proofreading these Fucking tags and I forgot the word ‘forget’ in the one abt pasta #I laid out all my evidence that I’ve secretly squirreled away for 10 years to my sister in law #and she just went O.O yeah I don’t think you’re hallucinating it; this isn’t normal #and it was v validating #I just don’t want to seem like I’m saying it for clout or what the fuck ever but I’ve struggled with this my whole life #but on the other hand it’s no longer as big of a deal now that I’m not in school… school was bad.. I don’t know how I did so well #Bc mentally I fucking Drowned #idk if I really want or need to try and get a diagnosis or anything #Esp bc I’m sure that’s not even almost the worst thing wrong with me and I don’t want to open that can of worms #regardless man I wish I weren’t me <3 I fucking /suck/ #lea speaks #vent