#if u don’t know the feeding habits lore

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

hey so. was anyone gonna tell me that last year I wrote *the* most tender lonan & harrison moment in feeding habits ORRRRR (harrison cuts lonan’s hair):

On the floor, Harrison eases Lonan’s skull over his knee and mimics what Suzanna does for him every other month: a modest section between his index and middle finger, then a tentative snip. A section. A snip. As he cuts, chips of Lonan’s hair falling to the tile, he notes the geography of Lonan’s skull, rough with uneven hair. He’s so focused on taming it all to one length that at first, he doesn’t notice when Lonan flushes crimson all the way to his throat. How he blinks rapidly to dislodge the tears netting his eyelashes, and eventually covers his face with his hands. Harrison snips again, and Lonan makes a strangled noise, like an animal’s cry. Tentative at first, like a short clearing of the throat, and then ugly, like a caribou dying. Harrison clenches his jaw, knowing it’ll only be harder to cut Lonan’s hair if he too starts to cry, but that doesn’t matter. Within seconds, his eyes swell, and as he snips, hair scattering like both of their old lives dissipating, he smooths his free thumb over Lonan’s forehead. He doesn’t know what else to do. How to imbue comfort. He’s not like Suzanna who understands that sometimes a person just needs another person to appear with a plate of papas, or a rented chick flick, and just be there. Within minutes, Lonan’s hair is at a new normal: shorter than it’s been in years, but in shape to regrow. Harrison sets the scissors onto the tile. He cups Lonan’s cheek with his palm, brings his forehead so close to his that they nearly touch. And he’s there. A bamboo stake waiting for a strand of ivy to give it new purpose.

#THE WAY I HAVE NOOOO RECOLLECTION OF THIS SCENE #WROTE THIS IN 2022 IM WEEEEEPPPINNGGGG #not harrison not crying but wanting to cry because lonan is crying #ohhhHHH IM HURTTTT #this is so hallowed bodies Lonan coded too like if there’s one thing HB Lonan will do #it’s cover his face with his hands and cry (THE CHERRIES LOL) #yeah this LITERALLYYYYY healed me I love seeing them like this #MW 3……… PLSSSS #if u don’t know the feeding habits lore #Eliza who’s Lonan’s girlfriend lol cuts off his hair because biblical references #and it looks… bad LOL but it’s a big thematic moment because Lonan’s hair is 90% of his personality #anyway so Harrison’s fixing it here #I cannot imagine Lonan with short hair tho lol but that’s how he looks in the second half of the book!!!! #THE NEAR FOREHEAD TOUCH AT THE END I JUST NOTICEDDDD OMGGGGG #OHHH I AM NOW JUST NOTICING THE THUMB THING IM CRYYYINGG THEY ARE TENDYYYY #I was looking thru FH for Harrison quotes since I finished his aesthetic!! now I’m just reeling!!!

[foilfreak]

4 Lords Raise Rose AU Ideas

Not a single person asked for this, but that other post where I talk about the 4 lords adopting Rose but still technically being terrible people got way more popular than I expected it to, so, with about 6 shots of tequila in my system and a terrible urge to spit my thoughts out for all the internet to see and judge, I’ve decided to make a follow up post. Here’s how I think the 4 lords would take care of Rose in the event they rebelled against Mother Miranda and decided to raise Rose as their own instead, but like under the cut after a little bit cuz i accidentally went way too fucking hard with this and I don’t want ppl to get mad at me for making them scroll for an hour to get past this post:

First and foremost, I think they’d do it in stages, and what I mean by this is that Rose would essentially be given to a specific Lord for some period of her life, like a couple years, and then when she was deemed old or strong or annoying enough, she’d be moved to a different lord for some period of time and so on and so forth. They would do this because a) they all live in different areas and have shit to do so it’s easier to have Rose live with one lord at a time and then the other lords can just go visit her there from time to time, rather than try to work out a weekly custody schedule which we all know Alcina and Karl would NEVER be able to agree on so let’s not even bother, and b) because each lord would have either some skill or set of knowledge that would make them the best for caring for Rose at that specific point in her life. This way, all the lords have a (somewhat) equal chance to be a part of Rose’s life and teach her something while she’s with them. So with all that in mind now, let’s get down to who would have Rose and at what point in her life.

1. Starting off with infant Rose, I think she’d end up with the Dimitrescu’s for the first few years of her life, and the reason why I think this is because... well, Alcina IS already a mother to 3 girls, and while we don’t know a terrible amount about Bela, Cassandra, and Daniela’s “upbringing” under Alcina, we can gleam and theorize from her notes that, despite their fully grown bodies, the girls could very well have started out with the mental and physical capabilities of infants, and thus needed to be cared for and brought up in a similar manner as infants or children until they reached a certain point where they could officially be considered adults in mentality and ability, not just in physical appearance. So with this in mind, it’s entirely possible that Alcina could have at least some vague idea of how to care for an infant child through her experiences with the bug sisters; perhaps there’s some gaps in her knowledge, but if nothing else I imagine Alcina would be an infant Rose’s best shot at surviving infancy if only because the other 3 are so incompetent on how to care for a baby that Alcina looks like an expert in comparison. Not to mention that, of the possible locations for an infant to be raised, I do genuinely think that castle Dimitrescu would be the safest place for Rose to be kept during this vulnerable part of her life. Not only that but if Alcina has actually come to care for Rose as though she were one of her own daughters, then she would absolutely spoil Rose rotten with all the nicest clothes and fanciest toys, things that a small infant wouldnt be able to appreciate but would show that she’s loved and cared for nonetheless, and don’t even get me started on the bug sisters, I could see them fawning over Rose for hours on end, playing with her, singing to her, telling her stories of all the man-things they’ve gotten to play with today, and so much more. Overall, Rose would just be the most spoiled and pampered little baby with the Dimitrescus and there’s no changing my mind about this. The only thing I’m struggling to wrap my head around is how they’d feed her, since I doubt a small infant would take very well to blood wine and human flesh. I suppose it wouldn’t be terribly outrageous for them to hire a wet nurse/nanny to care for Rose during the day while the other Dimitrescus go about their daily duties, and when Rose is finally old enough to be introduced to solid food (I.e. fried human flesh cubes) they could do what they always do and turn the nurse into wine too, I guess. It’s not a solid idea but it’s more plausible than anything else I thought of so it’ll work!

2. After spending about 3 years with the Dimitrescus, Rose would then be moved to the Beneviento house. Now, If u don’t know anything about 3 year olds, then you’re probably ignorant to the fact that they are some of the craftiest, sneakiest, and most coniving groups of people to exist on this planet. 3 year olds are masters at getting into and touching just about anything and everything u don’t want them to touch, and worst of all, u won’t realize what they’re doing until they’ve already done it and left a huge mess behind, so while the Dimitrescus love and adore Rose dearly, they know it’s sadly time to hand her over when they find her sitting on top of a pile of dead bodies playing with a metal scythe in the dungeons. Once Rose is dropped off at the Beneviento house, I imagine Donna is her usual stoic self the first few weeks Rose is with her. She’s not cold or distant necessarily, in fact she’s quite happy that it’s finally her turn with precious baby Rose, but Donna isn’t exactly known for being outwardly expressive herself (and even Angie isn’t being quite as forward as she normally is), so things are quiet and peaceful for the first little while that Rose is under her care. It’s not until Rose takes an interest in her doll Angie, and more importantly the things that Donna can do with Angie, that things really start getting fun. By the end of Rose’s first month in the Beneviento house she and Donna are the best of friends and often spend their days either playing dress up and make pretend with Donna’s extensive doll collection, or playing elaborate games of cat and mouse, where Donna will set up lots of puzzles throughout the house for Rose to find and solve (I.e. rose has to match her dress to the doll with the same one as her to find a map telling her which kitchen cabinet Donna hid the chocolate in, or something like that), but be careful little Rose, Angie has been trying to get her hands on that chocolate all day, and if u take too long, she’ll find the map first and eat all the chocolate without saving you a single piece. Just silly little puzzles with enough at stake to engage the mind of a curious 3 year old, but never enough to put rose in any actual danger. Donna is nothing if not a watchful caretaker, so she makes sure she has sight of Rose at all times, occasionally giving her a hint if she’s struggling, and perhaps occasionally making things harder if that day’s puzzle is proving too easy for her. Overall, Rose’s time with Donna, while not as grand and luxurious as the Dimitrescus, was still a fun and enriching experience for the young girl, and there’s nobody in this world who thinks that Donna’s scar is cool more than Rose.

3. After another 3 years with Donna, Rose is now 6 years old and officially far too good at puzzle solving for Donna to keep up with. No matter what she tries or how hard she makes it, Rose just keeps blazing through the puzzles at an almost alarming rate, making it clear that Rose is desperately in need of not only a change in scenery, but also a change in education, and this is where Salvatore finally comes in. After leaving the Beneviento house, I think the next logical place for Rose to stay would be with Salvatore, who, with lore hinting at him perhaps being a scholarly man of some kind, would basically act as her elementary school teacher throughout the duration of her stay. Now, to be fair, Rose could have gone to Heisenburg’s factory, but Heisenberg outright refused to take her and the other 3 lords decide that the factory is simply too dangerous for Rose rn, who thus far hasn’t shown any signs of being anything other than a normal human girl with no noticeable abilities (save for a smart mouth and a terrifying habit of popping up when least expected, a habit she mostly uses to mess with Heisenberg, much to his disdain and Lady Dimitrescu’s delight), so it is to the mutant fish man’s unimaginable delight that he is unanimously voted Roses next caretaker, and the one responsible for her basic education. Despite his initial excitement however, when Rose is finally dropped off at the windmills by Donna, Salvatore realizes that he’s not 100% sure what to do with Rose now that he has her. He’d like to get started on her education right away but at the same time he’s so fearful of Rose hating him because of his disgusting appearance that he kind of just... avoids her entirely at first. He’s never far away from the little girl and is always ready to jump to her rescue should she need it, but other than that Salvatore seldom allows himself to be seen for the first month that Rose is with him, the only sign of him still being around being the platefuls of food that mysteriously appear in Rose’s room 3 times a day, as well as the occasional shiny trinket Salvatore found and thought Rose would like. At first, rose doesn’t seem to mind being left entirely to her own devices, but after every stone, log, and rotting fish corpse within 5 miles of the lake has been turned over and thoroughly examined, Rose decides she’s had quite enough of her Uncle Sal ignoring her, prompting the headstrong little girl to go looking for him herself. She finds Salvatore hiding underneath a patch of floating algae not far away from where she was playing and all but demands that the mutant man come out of the water and give her something to do or she’d tell Mother on him. Salvatore, shocked by the small child’s fearlessly blunt request, hesitates, not wanting to frighten Rose, but ultimately relents, crawling out of the water and timidly suggesting that he teach her how to read and write. Rose quickly agrees, seeming totally unbothered by Salvatore’s grotesque appearance, and the two quickly move to the schoolroom that had been set up specifically for Rose, where Salvatore spends hours upon hours a day teaching Rose everything he knows, filling the little girl’s head up first with the basics, letters and words, then numbers and simple equations, followed later by historical dates and time periods, algebraic formulas, and classic literature analysis, then biology, chemistry, physics, astrology, calculus, ecology, and so much more. Basically, anything there is to know, Salvatore knows at least something about it and he’ll make sure that Rose knows about it too. In the 3 years Rose spends with Salvatore she goes from already sharp as a whip, to being smarter than most adults even, and Salvatore takes immense pride in how intelligent and knowledgable Rose becomes thanks to his surprisingly effective teaching style. Overall, as a caretaker, Salvatore is pretty weird and doubts himself a lot, but Rose thinks he’s funny and loves learning from him so they get along very well and she loves him very dearly! He probs teaches her to swim and fish too.

4. So another 3 years come and go with incredible speed, and its with great sadness on Salvatore’s part that Heisenberg finally comes banging on the fish man’s door, all but demanding that he now be given his turn with Rose. Now, personally, I can see several different arguments being raised by the other 3 lords over why its a terrible idea to let a 9 year old anywhere near Heisenberg, much less be given into his care fully. After about 9 years of seeing his siblings paling around with the constantly growing child, and looking like theyre having the time of their lives all the while, however, Karl decides that perhaps there’s more to this little girl than he originally thought, and, with his interest now piqued (or at the very least looking forward to pissing the other 3 off for entertainment purposes), that its only fair that he be given a turn with her now too, seeing as how he’s the only one who hasn’t been given the chance to be her caretaker yet. This naturally does NOT go over well with the other 3 lords. Alcina all but threatens to kill Karl should he step so much as within 10 ft of Rose, while Donna pipes up and demands to know what his sudden interest in Rose is. Even Salvatore, who is quick to flinch away from direct conflict, goes as far as to harshly point out the plethora of times Karl had outright denied their previous attempts to get him to engage with Rose, so why on earth would they hand her over to him now when he’s previously shown to have absolutely no interest in her? After a long spout of yelling between the 4 siblings, an agreement is reached, wherein Rose herself will be given the chance to decide whether she wants to go with Heisenberg, or whether she’ll return to one of the other 3 lords for the time being. It is to Alcina, Donna, and Salvatore’s absolute horror however, that Rose enthusiastically agrees to go with her Uncle Karl to live in his factory, and with the deal already set, the other lords can do nothing to stop her from going. The trip to drop off Rose at heisenberg’s factory is a long and arduous one, especially for Salvatore, who sobs the whole way there about Rose forgetting about him despite the young girl’s insistence that she’d visit. The first thing Karl does after officially having Rose handed over to him, is give her an extensive list of all the places in the factory in which she is under no circumstances permitted to enter without his permission (which basically only leaves the control room and the old storage closet that acts as her bedroom as viable places for Rose to go and explore). The second thing Karl does is dump her in her new storage closet bedroom and then hightail it for his workshop to work on whatever sick and twisted amalgamation he’s got cooked up this time around. At first, Rose isn’t terribly bothered by this, since she’s used to having something of an “adjustment period” when she’s with a new caretaker, but unfortunately for her, this adjustment period lasts a hell of a lot longer than the others did, and by the time 3 months of almost no meaningful contact with Karl, Rose decides to take matters into her own hands and ascends into the depths of the factory despite the express orders not to do so. Now, going back to the idea that the 4 lords are still pretty terrible people, I doubt Rose has been kept ignorant to the less savory aspects of her caretaker’s lives, and tbh she probably doesn’t think anything of the fact that the Dimitrescus makes wine out of the blood of virgin women or that Salvatore still does cadou experiments (and had her help on occasion), but I imagine even Rose would find the projects Karl works on to be at least a little

4, cont. gruesome and horrifying in nature, especially since Heisenberg is the one she knows the least about. However, instead of turning Rose away from Heisenberg, these terrifying metal creatures she sees locked up only spark her already insatiable curiosity, and by the time she finally tracks Karl down, Rose is all but trembling to learn more about this horrifyingly fascinating metal world. Unfortunately, Karl is not nearly as happy to see Rose as Rose is to see him, and the engineer all but grabs Rose by the scruff of her neck and drags her back up to the control room, yelling and screaming at her all the while about how she was explicitly instructed not to enter these parts of the factory without his permission. Needless to say that Rose does not enjoy this treatment and immediately lashes out, half out of anger and half out of confusion as to why Karl was treating her like this. He was the one who wanted her here in the first place, so why the hell was he just ignoring her now? It didn’t make any sense and it was starting to piss Rose off, so naturally the only thing left for her to do in order to solve this complicated situation would be to continue to disobey Karl until he either gave up and sent her back to one of the other lords, or finally payed some damn attention to her for once. So that’s exactly what she did. Every single day Rose left her room (which Karl kept telling himself he needed to put a lock on, but never did cuz he’s an idiot) and descended down into the depths of the factory looking for something ogle at or tinker with, and every single day Karl would track her down wherever she’d managed to get to and throw her back upstairs threatening to feed her to the lycans if she did it again. This incredibly frustrating cycle continued on for the better part of the next month or so, finally coming to a head when Rose managed to wander into the part of the factory where the... less than successful experiments got put whenever Karl doesn’t have any further use for them but is feeling too lazy to kill them off himself. Long story short, Rose runs into a Sturm that chases her around the factory, causing all manner of mayhem and destruction, and would have torn her to ribbons had it not been for Karl, who jumped in at the last second and was able to fend the damn thing off long enough for Rose to get the ever living fuck out and back up to the control room where it’s safe. There’s a lot of loud noises and explosions coming from deep within the factory that last for what feels like an eternity, but Rose doesn’t dare venture out again until everything has gone eerily quiet and a deep sense of worry has settled in the pit of her stomach over what had become of her latest caretaker. Turns out the Sturm had recognized its creator and, after watching its initial prey escape because of said creator, quickly decided that it fucking hated Karl with every fiber of its being and wanted him dead if it was the last thing it’s propellers did. Now, we all know that Karl is a big strong boy who’s more than capable of handling his own creations and taking down strong enemies, but the Sturm is a creation that even he struggles to control on good days and today is decidedly not a good day so not only does Karl not have the slightest bit of control over the death machine trying to kill him, but its also a lot stronger than Karl initially thought and apparently not picky about the method which causes Karl’s death, which is evidenced by the nearly dead Sturm ramming itself into a power generator as a final act of defiance and nearly blowing up the whole factory and everybody inside. Heisenberg is able to contain the explosion somehow but not without considerable damage to himself first. Rose is, naturally, quite horrified to find Karl passed out in the elevator that had taken him up from the lower levels of the factory where the explosion was, skin burnt nearly to a crisp in certain areas and blood pooling from just about every part of him, and immediately heads over to try and help her injured caretaker.

4, cont. again cuz I physically can’t stop myself. Now, I imagine that any normal 9 year old probably wouldnt be able to handle this sort of situation in any meaningful way, but i think we can all agree that Rose is the furthest thing from normal (especially considering who raised her) and has probably seen enough blood and gore to not be terribly freaked out by it, but this is where things get a little speculative because we don’t know what Rose’s powers are exactly but we do know from the final cutscene that she does have them, perhaps even a plethora of abilities, and I like to think that some of those powers are related to Ethan’s superhuman healing capabilities, but unlike Ethan however, who from what we’ve seen could only heal himself, Rose can actually heal other people (tho this isn’t something she’s aware of at this point in time). The second the elevator door opens to reveal, what looks to be, a half-dead Karl slumped over in the corner, Rose panics and runs to him, doing everything she can think of save for maybe grabbing him by the collar or slapping him across the face, to try and get Karl to wake up, except nothing works, he wont wake up no matter how hard Rose tries and i imagine this must be incredibly distressing for Rose who never intended for something like this to happen or for her caretaker to die because he had to protect her even tho he told her not to go down there because its dangerous and anything down there WOULD kill her if given the opportunity. Anyways Rose is now full on sobbing on top of Karl like only a 9 year old who just discovered that her actions have consequences can, but unbeknownst to her (and technically Karl cuz he’s a little busy bleeding out all over the floor) Karl’s wounds are slowly beginning to close, the burns on his face and hands shift from a bright red to a dark brown before crusting over and flaking off, and even his breathing, which had been labored and inconsistent at first, began to level out slightly. Karl woke up not long after that and was surprised to find that a) he was still alive, which was cool, b) he was injured but not in indescribable pain, also cool, and c) there was a literal sobbing child all but sitting on top of him, which is definitely not something Karl was expecting but he supposed he’s been met with worse things upon waking up after almost dying so why question it. After taking a moment to gather their bearings, the two return to the safer parts of the factory to rest and recover and for the most part this little incident of their’s goes largely unspoken, with Rose not exactly in the mood to talk about how her disobedience nearly got herself and Karl killed, and Karl being too fucking tired to go after her about it, especially since she seems to have learned her lesson. The only downside to this whole thing is that now Karl has a busted up fuckin leg thats gonna take an eternity to heal even for him, and with so much work to still do he’s more or less forced to drag Rose around the factory and use her like the annoying assistant he never wanted (except he did want her, thats how this whole fucking mess started, you lug), except that Rose, who is more than used to playing lab assistant from her time with Salvatore, quickly proves to be a rather capable and handy person to have around, if only because she knows the difference between a philips and a flathead screwdriver even better than he does. An amicable, if still slightly awkward peace settles over Heisenberg’s factory once Karl starts actively engaging with Rose and giving her something to do on a daily basis, even if its just standing around watching him work and occasionally having her questions about what he’s doing answered. It doesn’t take very long after that for Karl to begin realizing that perhaps throwing a huge tantrum to get Rose to come here only to ditch her upstairs by herself for 3 months might not have been the smartest (or most considerate) thing he’s ever done, and even goes as far as to (kinda) apologize to Rose for being such a dick to her since she arrived.

4, last one i swear. Rose forgives him, though not before adding that she already knew he was an asshole from Alcina, which earns her a halfhearted swipe from Karl that Rose easily dodges with a childish giggle. From that point on their relationship improves astronomically as Karl finally gives in and teaches Rose about about engineering and everything else that goes into making the metal horrors that he’s known for. Karl is shocked at how quickly Rose picks up on the trade, getting to the point where Karl wonders if he should start giving Rose her own projects to work on, but quickly rolls his eyes and groans when he remember that Salvatore was the one responsible for her education up until this point, the mere thought of having to give compliments to that “moronic freak” for giving Rose such a good educational foundation makes him want to vomit despite how secretly impressed he is. Overall, Rose’s time with Heisenberg starts out shaky, very shaky even, but after a bit of disaster and some swallowing of the pride on Karl’s part, they end up growing quite close and have a nice fun Uncle and martass Neice dynamic. They make a good team and Karl does genuinely enjoy having a little assistant around to help him with his projects, even if Rose can sound a bit too much like Alcina on some days for his liking.

5. 3 more years come and go and now Rose is a strong and healthy 12 years old, perhaps riddled with a few more scars and smearings of ash and motor oil across her skin than when she first arrived but still strong and capable nonetheless. Going back to that first statement however, this of course means that it’s time for the other 3 lords to come banging on Karl’s door for a change, all but demanding that Rose be handed back over to them. Karl of course refuses, telling them all to fuck off and that Rose didn’t want a leave the factory, so upon realization that all 4 lords were gathered here with the intention of taking Rose back to live with them indefinitely, a fight immediately breaks out between the 4 siblings, as each one makes their case as to why Rose should be returned to them and not the other 3, which of course none of the 4 lords can come to an agreement about because they ALL want Rose to stay with them. So after another long and pointlessly arduous argument, Alcina finally breaks, proclaiming that they’d be here for all eternity of they didn’t make a decision now, and that, like the first time the 4 siblings argued over whether Rose should go with Heisenberg or return to one of the previous lords, Rose would be the one to decide which of her four caretakers she would return to. The agreement is made reluctantly, mostly on the part of Salvatore, Donna, and Heisenberg, but there was seemingly no other way for them to come to a decision, so it would unfortunately have to be up to Rose to decide which of her 4 caretakers she wants to stay with permanently. Rose is quickly brought before the 4 lords and explained the situation, before being given some time to herself to think and make her final decision. A tense and uneasy silence falls over the 4 lords as they wait for the little girl, who they had shown an uncharacteristic amount of mercy and time and devotion and love in the 12 years since Mother Miranda had brought her to the village with the intention of using her to revive an already lost and long-gone baby that she never would have gotten back no matter how hard she tried. Although they refused to admit it to one another, the lords all secretly knew that Rose had wormed her way into each of their cold, dead hearts, reviving an aspect of their humanity that they’d all thought had been lost ages ago. Rose came to the village bringing with her a wave of death and destruction, and yet throughout her childhood she has brought them nothing but light and life, illuminating their previously dark and desolate existences. The 4 lords loved their Rose very dearly and desperately wanted her to be happy, yet each of them possesses a dark and selfish desire to have Rose pick them over the other 3, to come and live with them forever and fill the hole deep inside them that they never knew needed filling. After a short while, Rose comes back out and stands before her 4 beloved caretakers, looking around nervously as she picks at her fingernails. The silence is thick and heavy as the 4 lords stare at the young girl, waiting with bated breaths for her to give her final verdict. Rose continues to say nothing as tears begin to flow from her eyes, sliding down her cheeks in thick streams as the girl begins to sob, dropping her head and clenching her dress. The 4 lords look between one another in confusion, unsure of what to do with this sudden burst of tears. Rose tearfully admits that she can’t and doesn’t want to choose which of the 4 lords she wants to live with permanently because she loves them all very much and wants to be able to see and live with all of them, like they’ve done thus far. Although the lords detest the idea of having to share Rose with anyone, they reluctantly come to an agreement for the girl’s sake, deciding that they would continue with the arrangement they’ve had thus far, only that Rose would switch between caretakers every 3 months instead of every 3 years, giving rose plenty of opportunities to see each of her caretakers just like she wanted. From then on, Rose continues to live her life

5, cont. growing up and learning more and more from each of her beloved caretakers. Although Rose would likely never know what a normal life looks like, living with 4 criminally insane monsters in the remote mountain village in Romania, it would be impossible to say that she wouldn’t have a happy life despite that. Perhaps its because the girl simply doesn’t know any better, so she doesn’t have the ability to see just how messed up her life and her 4 caretakers really are, but i imagine that Rose probably wouldn’t care very much to learn even if she had the opportunity. She’s a happy little girl living a strange but enjoyable life with the only family she’ll ever need. What more could she possibly ask for?

6. As for how Mother Miranda would play into this whole scenario I’ve just drunkenly spat out, im honestly not 100% sure. Ive seen some people suggesting that MM just kinda chills and lets the lords do what they want with Rose, but tbh I honestly don’t see that happening in this universe. MM would still have been just as crazy and driven to get Eva back as she was in canon, so i doubt she’d willingly standby and let her “false children” take away her one shot of getting her real child back simply because they didn’t want to hurt her, i just don’t personally see that happening. The two most likely scenarios i can come up with is that the Lords either banded together and look Miranda on together, their combined forces being enough to take her down and kill her, OR, Ethan is the one to take down MM like he did in canon but he passes out before he can get to rose, giving the lords (who he hadn’t ended up killing but just escaping from i guess) the opportunity to slide in, grab rose, and hightail it out of there, leaving Ethan’s body to be retrieved by Chris, who, due to not seeing or hearing Rose anywhere, believes that Rose must have been accidentally killed along with MM, which he later tells to Ethan and Mia. Regardless of how MM gets taken out of the picture (or if she’s given room to potentially come back later), the 4 lords retreat with Rose and begin the whole cycle I explained up above, but i did want to briefly address how I saw MM fitting into all of this since she is a vital part of the original story and the biggest obstacle to the lords having anything to do with Rose.

Anyways, that was so much longer than I intended it to be but I had so much fun with it just because it gave me the opportunity to spit some fun ideas and potential plot points out about this cool AU that I like and hope someone does SOMETHING with, please god someone do it, I’d do it myself but i have enough projects at the moment unfortunately. If you managed to make it all the way to the bottom, thank you for reading all of that, I appreciate it, and I hope you enjoyed at least some parts of this, and maybe even agree with some of the things I said. Feel free to leave your own ideas in the comments, I’d love to read them and hopefully if enough people like this maybe i will actually do something with it. Who knows? I certainly dont. Anyways thank you for reading all this, i hope you have a great day, and maybe ill see you around in another post. Bye!!! <3

#resident evil #resident evil 8 #resident evil village #resident evil 8 village #alcina dimitrescu #donna beneviento #angie beneviento #salvatore moreau #karl heisenberg #rose winters #ethan winters #chris redfield #mia winters #re8 #re8 village #re village #4 lords raise Rose AU #mine #headcanon #resident evil 8: village

[bigrockgang23]

Analysis of Major Parasitic Fauna and Pit Ecology

I’ve spent the past three days putting together a speculative food web of the Mystery Flesh Pit’s ecology. The web is made up of five base food sources (green) with the park’s fauna split into Primary (pink), Secondary (orange), and Tertiary Consumers (red). Any arrow marked with a (?) means that the connection there is more uncertain. Along with the food web I also wrote up about 5 pages of analysis on why I chose to order the food web in the way I did (was it overkill? yes. was it worth it? maybe. did I enjoy it? hell yeah). I based a lot of my speculation on established lore but obviously I filled in MANY gaps. THIS IS NOT CANON. I tried to tag all of the information that IS canon but I almost certainly forgot something, so if you see something PM me and I’ll edit the post! While the food web and analysis were written up by me, all of the material and lore is from the Mystery Flesh Pit blog. If you somehow found this post and don’t know about the source material please check it out here:

 https://mysteryfleshpit.tumblr.com/

Also, please PM me if you have questions, criticisms, or insights!! I would love to hear feedback from the community, thank you for reading!

Foundation of Pit Ecology Food Chain:

1.       Fungal Growths

The wide variety of fungal growths in the pit may provide a convenient food source for other Pit fauna. The growths are commonly found near amniotic ballast springs and are known to have spores toxic to humans1. Pit fauna that feed on the growths would certainly have adapted immunity to the spores but may incorporate those undigested toxins into their body as a predation deterrent. Fungal growths of the Pit appear to grow mainly on the surface of the organism but may extend deeper into the flesh in order to absorb nutrients from the Pit itself. Larger colonies of growths could then cause mass die-offs of Pit tissue if allowed to propagate unchecked.

2.       The Pit

        -  Amniotic Ballast Fluid

The fluid of the Amniotic Thermal Springs is known to be edible to humans and so would mostly likely form a major food source for park life2. It’s unclear what the composition of the fluid is but it may constitute a main source of water for Pit fauna. The springs could be envisioned as a “watering hole” of the Pit, drawing in a variety of both predator and prey and being a hot bed of ecological activity. A side effect manifested in humans is the fluid’s aphrodisiacal effect2; if this effect is shared by Pit fauna then the Amniotic Thermal Springs could also drive reproductive seasons or behaviors in larger organisms. This effect would not necessarily be intended by the Pit, but the relationship may have formed over time nonetheless.

         - Cystic Nutrient Ganglia

In humans, ganglia cysts usually form at joints and are enlarged pockets of lubricating fluid that collects and creates an extended, spongy bump. The cause of these cysts is still unknown, but is most likely related to joint conditions similar to arthritis. The multicellular macrobacteria of the Pit feed primarily on these ganglia. The macrobacteria leech proteins, fats, and minerals from the ganglia through osmotic diffusion1. It is unclear whether the cystic nutrient ganglia are a purposeful development of the Pit or a by-product of external factors (later in this analysis I will be making an argument for the latter). It seems that the ganglia are exclusively fed on by macrobacteria species, unless the cysts could be otherwise punctured by more “animal-like” Pit fauna1.

         - Organic Tissues

The Pit’s own tissues may provide some level of sustenance for Pit wildlife. While there is one specific organism that could be speculated to feed on Pit living tissue, it is much more likely that Pit fauna take advantage of dead or dying tissues in the park. Through natural or external means, it is clear that Pit tissue can die and necrosis can spread out from those areas5. Pit fauna eat away the dead tissue of the Pit and the Pit is protected from the spread of necrosis. It seems unlikely that any Pit fauna would purposely damage Pit tissues (it is better for the parasites to keep their host healthy, rather than contribute to its unwellness) but in times of food scarcity the Pit’s tissue could provide some nutrients to a starving creature.

3.       Unaltered/Compound Surface Fauna

Surrounding surface animals, while not native to the Pit, could provide a base food source for predatory Pit fauna. Abyssal copepods are known to exit the Pit, hunt surface wildlife, and drag living animals back down into the Pit. If these animals escape or survive initially within the Pit, they may undergo anatomical amalgamation. Common features of these compound animals are fused limbs or other major body parts and the external relocation of internal organs on the body1. Both the unaffected surface fauna and the amalgamations would be at a great disadvantage within the Pit, as they lack any Pit-specific adaptations. These animals, when found, could be an easy meal for Pit fauna. It may also be speculated that abyssal copepods only venture out in times of food scarcity within the Pit, but it is unclear how much weight this theory holds.

 Primary Consumers of the Pit:

1.       Macrobacteria

Due to their great abundance, simple reproductive behavior, and wide variety, the macrobacteria of the Pit are a fundamental building block in the Pit’s ecology. Macrobacteria are known to feed osmotically on cystic nutrient ganglia1, however it is likely that some species may eat dead organic matter (i.e. dead Pit tissue and/or deceased Pit fauna). While similar in appearance to microscopic bacteria, it is known that macrobacteria are multicellur1. Various species of macrobacteria are shown on the Major Parasitic Fauna poster3; from these drawings it appears that most species share some common traits. Each creature has a spherical or near spherical body surrounded radially by spikes and/or tendrils (omitting species H, which demonstrates a more lateral body plan). The tendrils or spikes of the macrobacteria are likely to fill many roles for the animal; locomotion, grasping/restraining, sensing, and protection could all be achieved by a set of extremities. The macrobacteria may scuttle like sea urchins, swim like jellyfish, crawl, slither, or even roll through Pit openings and fluids. Macrobacteria have been known to act aggressively in defense of territory, so the more prehensile tendrils may provide some level of grasping and restraining when the macrobacteria encounter hostile organisms. Surface bacteria and other single celled organisms use chemical sensors to “look at” or “feel” their environments and a lack of clear eye spots may indicate a similar process in macrobacteria where their tendrils could detect chemical changes or concentration levels in their surroundings. Finally, the spikes of the macrobacteria may be a defense mechanism against larger predatory Pit fauna4 (Big thanks to u/Hozin-6 who provided most of the speculation on macrobacterial locomotion and defense in this analysis. His original comment can be found in the sources).

2.       Bone Mite

The bone mite shares heavy resemblance with surface mites, ticks, and other arthropods. Based on its appearance and name, it can be speculated that the bone mite’s main food source is living Pit tissue in the form of bone marrow. It is unknown what the inner anatomy of the Pit’s various large bone structures are but they most likely contain either bone marrow or some analogous tissue. The bone mite’s hair-like structures can easily find footholds and catchments on the bone surface, allowing the mite to have full mobility over the surface of the large bones in a way similar to how flies or bed bugs crawl up walls. If bone mites feed parasitically off the living bone tissue then it is likely that they have either a hard proboscis or hard drilling mouth in order to penetrate the outer bone shell. The mites’ bodies look fairly flat as well, which may allow them to slip between folds of flesh and bone to feed3.

3.       Gastric Bristleworm

The clearest feature of the bristleworm is its namesake; the worm is covered in long, thin tendrils or bristles that protrude from the sides of the organism and encircle the “head”3. These bristles most likely provide locomotion for the worm and defense against predation. The name suggests that the gastric bristleworm may be native to “stomach-like” or digestive organs of the Pit. The worm may then feed on partially or fully digested organic matter as well as amniotic ballast fluid when necessary. Supposing the worm’s main habitats are digestive organs within the Pit, it is likely that the organism’s bristles and body are composed of a strong but flexible tissue with specific immunities to the acidic environment. The bristleworm may swim or crawl through gastric acid in order to scavenge for nutrient-rich, partially digested organic matter and so would be unchallenged by the more competitive (but less tough) Pit fauna. It could be argued that, with sufficient prompting, a gastric bristleworm could puncture a cystic nutrient ganglion and feed off the proteins and fats within but they would then be competing with the territorial macrobacteria1. The gastric bristleworm could easily fit in as a decomposer as well, eating any deceased surface or Pit fauna before it can be absorbed directly by the Pit itself.

4.       Shrieking Cloistropod

The shrieking cloistropod is the first of the list to not have a clear analogous surface organism. For this reason, it is more difficult to discern what behaviors and habits it may exhibit. The cloistropod’s lower body resembles a tap root or starchy root vegetable of surface plants3. This structure may penetrate the flesh walls of the Pit and act as an anchor for the organism. The cloistropod may use its “root” to leech nutrients from the local flesh its anchored around, as well as for the storage of excess nutrients and moisture for times of scarcity. The “head” of the organism would than sit above the flesh layer as a psudeo-plant or fungi. Based on the name and hair-like covering of the “head”, the above ground “head” may be very sensitive to touch or motion. When touched the “mouth” would then open and shriek or moan or make some other loud sound in order to frighten away possible predators. Alternatively, the shrieking cloistropod may be an ambush predator in the same vein as a venus fly trap, waiting until an organism comes close and then striking with a disorienting scream. The cloistropod’s body plan lends itself to a sessile lifestyle, especially in it’s adult stage, but it should be considered that the locomotive shrieking cloistropod theory may find more traction in a fluid-dominanted environment.

5.       Gangliotode

The name of the gangliotode may point to two possible behaviors; either the organism’s namesake comes from appearance alone or the creature is tied to nerve ganglia in some way. The gangliotode bears some surface resemblance to a nerve bundle, otherwise known as a ganglion, and so may be named according to it’s recognizable shape. On the other hand, the gangliotode may be related to the Pit’s nervous system or to the before mentioned cystic nutrient ganglia. The gangliotode’s behaviors may cause cystic nutrient ganglia to form, therefore giving it an interesting relationship with the macrobacteria of the Pit. The gangliotode may feed on cystic nutrient ganglia alongside macrobacteria, however the territorial nature of the macros as well as the specific circumstances of their feeding behavior may make this theory unlikely. Regardless, it seems fairly likely that the gangliotode does not actively hunt and may be entirely sessile.

Secondary Consumers of the Pit:

1.       Lesser/Greater Ballast Siren

Based on name alone it could be speculated that the greater ballast siren is an ambush predator that inhabits either the area around amniotic thermal springs or within the springs themselves. The greater ballast siren’s large opening on the front of it’s body may be a mouth that it can use to engulf or otherwise devour Pit fauna. The siren may sit within amniotic bulbs, either waiting for Pit fauna to get close enough or luring them in by other means, striking when the prey least expects the attack. Previously in this analysis, the amniotic thermal springs were envisioned as a “watering hole” for Pit fauna and so would be an ideal environment for this kind of ambush hunting. The greater ballast siren may have limited mobility from it’s tendrils, as well as having the ability to grasp the slippery surfaces of the springs. The lesser ballast siren appears almost like an undeveloped specimen of the greater. The lesser siren could therefore be a young or undeveloped stage in the life of the greater ballast siren or the alternate sex equivalent for the species (Pit fauna may not have a “male” and “female” but could have alternative reproductive sexes). The lesser ballast siren is less defined and so it is more difficult to discern any functions or behaviors of the species.

2.       Stinging Triocanth

Another worm-like organism native to the Pit. Like many of the Pit fauna already covered, the triocanth has many hair-like protrusions all along it’s body and extremities. The hairs that cover the organism’s “arms” may aid it in locomotion and sensing, allowing it to gain traction along slippery surfaces and narrow tunnels while the longer barbs along the body may serve another purpose. Since this is a stinging triocanth, the long barbs may be a defense mechanism and/or a form of attack to subdue prey. It could be speculated that the stinging triocanth hunts macrobacteria or even bone mites, using it’s corkscrew appendages to move quickly and pluck lone creatures that separated from the group. The barbs may slow or incapacitate the prey and the corkscrew extremities could funnel the prey down towards the mouth of the triocanth. To tie in a previous theory, the stinging triocanth may be omnivorous, feeding on fungal growths as well. The triocanth then incorporates the toxins of the ingested spores into it’s barbs, giving it a poisonous sting.

3.       Lesser Copepod

The lesser copepod may be the most surface-like organism of any of the Pit fauna. It resembles an arthropod and has some similarities to the larger abyssal copepod. The lesser copepod’s long feelers may be used to subdue prey from a distance, to coin a term they are “fisher hunters”. The lesser copepod could have some versatility in their hunting styles with such long appendages, being able to chase down prey or hide and strike from a safe distance. The lesser copepod could then easily pluck stranglers from the macrobacterial packs that roam the Pit, draw a gastric bristleworm out from it’s acidic den, or trigger a shrieking cloistropod from a safe distance and then dig up its nutrient-rich lower body. The lesser copepod’s reach compensates for it’s relatively smaller size and propels it higher on the food chain than it might otherwise be. Additionally, due to similar physiology, the lesser copepod could be a neotenic variation of the abyssal copepod; having branched away from it’s adult lineage by many generations.

4.       Venous Shamble

The venous shamble may be a slow, omnivorous, opportunistic organism of the Pit. The eye spot placement of the shamble and it’s complicated form of locomotion give it the air of a shuffling and cautious creature. The base of the head contains a tube structure that may be a proboscis, one that can extend out to some length. The venous shamble could then feed on a wide range of Pit fauna including amniotic ballast fluid, fungal growths, deceased Pit fauna, and shrieking cloistropods (using its proboscis to access the underground “root” of the organism). Similar to the stinging triocanth’s barbs, the shamble may benefit from incorporated fungal spore toxins that would deter predation and allow it to move clumsily without constant threat. Additionally, the venous shamble is subjectively the cutest of the Pit fauna and that is not up for debate. Don’t @ me.

Tertiary Consumer of the Pit (AKA apex predator):

1.       Abyssal Copepod

The abyssal copepod is certainly the apex predator of the Pit’s diverse ecology. The organism is built to move quickly through the fleshscape, with a head full of sensitive antennae to pick up on minute Pit and faunal movements as well as having large hands to grab and subdue prey. Abyssal copepods have been observed venturing outside the Pit, hunting surface fauna, and dragging them back down into their habitat1. Versatile and dangerous, the abyssal copepod is a force to be reckoned with. While the large copepod has minimal resemblance to surface arthropods and microscopic copepods, they also have the strange feature of human-like, five-digited hands. It has been theorized that abyssal copepods may be the descendants of ancient humans that found their way into the Pit and evolved to such an extreme extent that they now have almost no resemblance to modern humans6,7. While this evolution would need occur relatively quickly in geologic time, the Pit’s effects on living surface fauna are not fully understood and the harsh, variable conditions of the changing fleshscape could catalyze evolutionary developments and mutations (Thank you to u/OvoFox11 who was the first person I’ve seen relate the human hands of the abyssal copepods to descendant Pit-dwelling humans. His original comment is linked in the sources).

The Unknown Category:

1.     Amorphous Shame

Please send me suggestions as to what this is! I’m very interested in what others think, as I am at a loss.

Thank you for reading! Please PM with questions, criticisms, and insights!!

Sources:

(1)    wildlife guide, https://mysteryfleshpit.tumblr.com/post/190237475203/wildlife-safety-brochure-though-the-mystery

(2)    amniotic springs brochure (2), https://mysteryfleshpit.tumblr.com/post/615973957551718400/this-scan-of-a-2006-pamphlet-offers-information

(3)    major parasitic fauna, https://mysteryfleshpit.tumblr.com/post/623095839097798656/this-chart-and-many-others-like-it-were-produced

(4) u/Hozin-6, https://www.reddit.com/r/FleshPitNationalPark/comments/hnlsa1/major_parasitic_fauna_chart/fxcm1pb?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x

(5) Overall health question, https://mysteryfleshpit.tumblr.com/post/613318973731291136/hello-something-ive-been-curious-about-in

(6) u/OvoFox11, https://www.reddit.com/r/FleshPitNationalPark/comments/god6us/qa_on_tumblr_how_deep_is_the_pit_what_was_anodyne/frgdqoe?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x

(7) Q&A 1, https://mysteryfleshpit.tumblr.com/post/618659022493581312/qa-001

#mystery flesh pit #mystery flesh pit national park #cosmic horror #ecology #food web #world building #creatures

[illegiblewords]

Talking some fan drama that I have zero to do with and only passing knowledge of.

There’s a situation going on rn where a certain prominent WoW player is trying FFXIV for the first time after having talked some shit in the past. Most of the time FFXIV players in my experience (on Primal data center granted lmao) have been very kind and patient with newbies. However, over on Aether data center where this is happening my impression is that people are being really aggressive in an attempt to preempt hostility and rudeness they assume is coming.

Honestly there have been points in the past where I caught some of the comments made by this individual secondhand. And it was very, very tempting to be catty back. Like guys, this person summoned my snottiest inner mean girl like a demon and I didn’t even watch him directly. But.

People do grow and change for the better sometimes. My impression of WoW is that the players have been put through some real bullshit by their devs and have been locked in a lot of really fucky community habits for a long time.

FFXIV is cool because it is a game that has options for many different kinds of players. We have hardcore raiders, glamour hounds, lore fiends, crafters/gatherers, gamblers, RPers, people looking to hang out with friends, and even casuals who like to do something between jobs/school/kids/etc. Tbh I think it’s worth it to just ask the guy what kind of shit he likes in games. Sincerely. If one aspect doesn’t work for him, help show where something he might like more is. It’s hard to be an ass to people who are honestly trying to help you have a good time, especially if they’re doing the courtesy of making suggestions according to what YOU like.

If the dude’s an ass anyway just... don’t be friends with him. Seriously. It’s not that hard. I just feel a lot of sympathy for former WoW players most of the time. I get the experience when you come from a franchise where the creators do not give a fuck or are actively crappy to fans. Plus places where the fandom itself was just poisonous. It’s miserable. When someone mentions they just came from WoW, I try to welcome them in and wish them a great time.

Just... be decent? You never know what someone’s been through or how their day has been.

It’s harder and requires more strength to be kind first instead of pulling some kneejerk FUK U reaction. The payoff is still better for everyone concerned. If you can successfully make that person’s day a little better, they might take that as a sign they can relax and be nicer to others in turn. You put some good into the world, and any of that shitty behavior you worried about gets dissolved because you’ve made a case for something better. The positivity ripples out. Being an asshole just deepens the rift, makes the target an actual victim of cruelty, and as a result feeds legit hostility.

If the other person starts something with you directly, you have a choice whether to be a mature adult or go off. And I’m not discounting going off as an option lol, petty has its place.

But don’t start that shit.

[wandering-bitch]

could i ask if there were any lore tidbits for Blood in the Cut that didn't get covered 👀

hell yeah hell yeah hell yeah!! i’ve got my annotations in the queue for monday but let’s see what else i’ve got

vampirism does actually make it harder for nie huaisang to cultivate traditionally, as he’s filled with foreign energy every time he feeds + has to  spend time integrating that into his body. he wouldn’t be good at wwx’s monstrous/demonic cultivation but it would probably help him to talk theory together.

i tweeted how nhs’s relationship  with the sun is just my relationship with the sun, and how his habit of eating only when strictly necessary is occasionally me, and then realized that this fic is just my Magical Realism Autobiography. now i gotta prepare to eat ppl in a weird, slightly fucky way

nhs knows his blood tears are a little Much so he actually never cries in public. all of his dramatics are just him wailing and spilling wine on his face. 

i think i talked about this but part of what nhs is consuming is the cultivation of the donor. the pig blood is not at all a long-term solution for feeding. it’s like eating cardboard. 

nie clan charcuterie isn’t vampire/disability lore but it is galaxy brained so

after nhs brought everyone back from Evil Summer Camp, like 20% of the disciples left the sect for “undisclosed reasons” (read: they got confused and scared by the small nie gongzi eating human bodies)

the remaining 80% of the nie disciples, however, would fucking die for nhs. they don’t know everything that’s going on but they do know he murdered a lot of wen scouts with his bare hands, and that it must have been difficult. u kno that “qinghe is just a bunch of sword jocks who would do anything for a single art major” post??? this is why. because they all know he’d go 2 the mat for him. by the time wwx comes back from the dead, pretty much all of the sect knows they have to bleed once in a while

#blood in the cut #lizord-lord #behind the scenes

[cibolasburn]

i was tagged by @gryffenders like 2 weeks ago, and now im waiting for the cabinet repair man to show up, and im distraught because im home alone after listening to a Frightening episode of the magnus archives (the only one i’ve found scary so far) so I Need A Distraction

RULES: answer the questions in a new post and tag 10 blogs you would like to get to know better.

a | age: 20

b | birthplace: bold of you to assume i was born

c | current time: 9:27am

d | drink you last slurped: coffee

e | easiest person to talk to: me and @reynegades have been talking non stop for almost 4 years now, so probably her

f | favorite songs: uuuuh i have a list. give me an answer, when the night is over, magneto are all there at the moment. (late night, meet me in the woods, and the enemy are probably my longstanding favs) (neither of them are officially out yet, but i LOVE this one and this one and i have for 2 years) if you really want more, i made this playlist a few weeks ago with everything i wanted to listen to on a roadtrip, so hit shuffle on that baby and see where it takes you

g | grossest memory: one time in first grade, we were on a field trip to our local pumpkin patch, and a kid ate some random mushrooms he found on the side of the road and then when we got on the bus he sat behind me and threw up on the wall and it was horrifying (other than that great field trip my dad chaperoned my group and bought us all food and also we got to go on a hayride)

h | horror yes or no: listen i love horror stories and movies, but i am very picky about what horror i consume bc i don’t trust hollywood and i don’t trust certain subgenres. 

i | in love? nah 

j | jealous? yah

k | knowledge people don’t expect you to have: i have a lot of uuh weird facts but i guess i know a lot about......... indie rock from like 1985 to present? also feeding tubes, cause my mom’s an actual expert in those and i proofread her lectures..... 

l | love at first sight or what: nah

m | middle name: hmmm.... no thanks nah i know my fairy lore

n | number of siblings: 2

o | one wish: i want.....  a maze around my house........ 

p | person you called last: my sister

q | questions you’re always asked: “oh do you plan on teaching?” (which like yeah is a possibility but i am not limiting myself to one career goal)

r | reminder to self: drink water

s | song you last sang: down in the willow garden, cause that’s just todays mood i guess!

t | time you woke up: 6:50am

u | unpopular opinion: u gotta have a concept of history like u cant just make shit up! people on here do that all the time makes me want to be dead

v | vacation: alice isn’t dead inspired roadtrip pls god

w | worst habit: not drinking water

x | x-ray? had one on two weeks ago, had a fun time at a pediatric hospital despite the fact i am almost 21

y | your favorite food: i don’t have a favorite food and i’ll eat most things except.... seaweed, brussel sprouts, certain types of rice, and badly cooked chicken...... and those are just because i have Sensory Issues

z | zodiac sign: scorpio

i tag @reynegades @ssassmasster @kepler-lamp-lighter @sithromanova @qu33nbeee @myka-wells-forever

#so here's the thing #i listen to a lot of music and i cannot choose a favorite #because they are all absolutely central to how i've learned to express myself nonverbally over the years so there's that #also im 90% sure the cabinet man is dead #some monster got him he's gone #there are weird noises in my house #i am very upset right now he was supposed to be here at 8 #OH shit he just showed up nevermind we're good #me: listens to a podcast where one of the elements of horror is literally the idea of the stranger #also me: wow im so glad this man i've spoken to once is here so i don't have to sit in this house by myself #tagged

[the-real-overwatch-lore]

New character lore expansion

U FAKS

EVERYONE IS DEAD TO ME

Pissbeam is the irish pwoer, she inherited it from the IRA Omnics.

She is Torbjorn’s daughter, as a result of his affiar with Brian Keenan.

The Omnics wiped out the IRA in the war, and thus she wants to kill all the omnics. She’s also not Irish, but instead a Newfie.

Moira is Emily’s mother, but gave her up for adoption at birth because she was committed to her career as a genocidal maniac (definitely not a neo-nazi)

Mercy and Moira went to the same medical school, and were best friends until Mercy went all supervillian on her and used her blonde to make Moria’s reputation go down the toilet. Also she like, wanted to cure cancer but Mercy was like “no that does suffering so we must keep it.” So then Moria got all upset and joined Blackwatch and made Reaper all neat and shadowy and also made McCree’s dick larger. Genji just sat in the corner and cried about honor the entire time cause he’s a bitch.

She injected a anime into each arm to make her more powerful that you can possibly imagine.

But darth vader didn’t kill.

This also made her run like a fuckin weeb.

Like holy fuck what a fucken weeb

Get out ur traash

She had a short fling with Danny DeVito, who in the Overwatch world became a pro wrestler.

He was also 80 when she dated him.

She keeps her fingernails long to cover up the fact that she doesn't know how to use a keyboard

She’s secretly getting lesson from Sombra during her time in the EVIL organization.

Doomfist did nothing wrong

But sombra only types mexican so she can’t log into her library account. This makes her very upset.

SHE JUST WANTS TO READ

She doesn’t know how to read.

SHE JUST WANTS TO CHECK OUT AUDIOBOOKS

In the overwatch world iliteracy is at an all time high, meaning that 90% of the cast can’t read or write. The only ones that can are Junkrat because he’s a brilliant scientist seriously do you see those fucking bombs he made those out of garbage, and Hanzo who learned to write and read one thing “dishonor” and “family. Also Torbjorn can read because he killed the judeo-christian god with his dick and took his place.

During med school (nerd) Mercy called her “O’Deoderant”

This was because Mercy wanted her boyfriend at the time, Mako boy (roadhog) (he aged poorly in his mid life crisis) (really let himself go), and then Mercy and boi got together and Mercy got pregnant. Their child was a trash panda named Junkrat.

O’moria or whatever the fuck she is then got really pissy and modified the trash panda into a human.

Blizzard doesn’t know how to make a game btw

Fixed it 4 u

k  thxx babe

Np boo <3

BENIS

I did it mom

You did great honey

Reee

So Genji did eventually get a (cyber)dick, but he never wanted to use it cause he’s a bitch. He also killed tracer a few times because she annoyed him, but Moria brought her back. Mercy then stole that technology and that is what became the worst video game mechanic 2k123

ENHANCE (expand) DONG - McCReeeee 2k38

Moira invented everything Mercy ever had, but she was blonde and was better at sex so she was able to steal everything. Mercy also stole the expandong and used it on winston to satisfy her donkey kong fetish. The only person immune to her wiles was Torbjorn because he is a god. Also he’s her father and that would just be weird like jeez

Mercy = Edison, Moira = Tesla, Torb = Elon Musk who traveled to the future to destroy the world because nobody bothght teslas

Seriosuly tho fuck edison

Dude killed elephants

Like y

Y would u do that

I kill elephants

WITH MY DICK

They worht like 3.50

Genji is actually Jeff’s self-insert OC

So she like joined blackwatch because she hated Mercy enough, and everyone else there was like “yo fuck that blonde bimbo ye”

I mean I’d fuck that blonde bimbo, ye…

Gabe (Newell) thought they were talking about Morrison, though.

Gabe Newell = Torb, Torb = Half-Life 3, OVERWATCH IS HALF LIUF $

OH SHIT

THE TRUTH CAN NEVER ESCAPE

*teleports behind you*

“Nothing personnel, kid”

Don’t buy lootboxes plz

They don’t even drop in front of the entire lobby like what trash

So then Moira pushed to regulate lootboxes but Mercy Jeff stopped her and removed her from the game.

Mercy was using them to fund her crippling plastic surgery habits

Bitch you thought that was nanomachines?

Her tits had more plastic than a barbie doll

Did you know Mercy is addicted to all drug? Yeah, like future heroin. It’s like modern heroin but it has future in it.

Her healing beams are actually liquid weed, a whole 3 marijuanas

Mercy’s healing beams are liquid meth, much better for you

No that’s her damage boost meth = violence violence = more damage

Do meth kids - teeth are fior bitches

Healing = heroin?

havE YOU EVER HAELD A WOUND WITHOUT SMOKING CRTACK I THOUGHT NOT

Doomfist saw her power at stopping Torbjorn and recruited her into the one evil organization, the only one. (greenpeace) (Talon is greenpeace in the future I mean look at them, they’re green)(the whales all died, they had to find something to do with their time)(overatch the game exited in the overwatch timeline, but Jeff died because there were no whales to feed him)

RIP JEFFERY 2998-2017 (Jeff was the last of Torbjorn’s lineage)

PREPARE FOR DEFFERY

Watch out for geoffrey

Oh, there goes gravity

Mom’s spaghetti

Omnics get out

Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

#overwatch #lore #new hero #true facts #blizzard #jeff #legit #shit game #remove mercy #ominc lives matter #piss beam #torbjorn #help me