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ddarker-dreams · 8 months

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Hi! I have a question, you can ignore this if you want to but I’ve found myself really loving the way you write and the range of writing you can articulate as well. Speaking from someone who is nowhere close to that level of skill you possess, would you mind being able to explain your journey of writing, if you practiced any particular methods or anything else to get to this stage you are at right now? Unless you have been gifted the talent of writing from birth and didn’t need to try for much long or long enough to call it a journey. Could you also spare some tips and advice for someone who wants to start writing stories and what to look into/practice?

I love your work a lot and I am constantly waiting for the notification of your new posts, despite not being a writer myself I do love breaking down and analysing writing and your stories are always such good options for me to look into. Thank you so much for writing and sparing your time to produce such well done pieces of work — I felt extremely corny writing this, excuse me for this language, I promise I’m not a pimp!

THIS ISN'T CORNY AT ALL!!!! ❌🌽❌!!!!

i'm deeply grateful for all your kind words, thank you so so much 😭

i don't mean this in a self-deprecating way, but i've never considered myself a gifted or super incredible writer, i just get hype about story ideas and try to make them as good as i can. due to that, i start sweating when people ask for advice because i don't consider myself qualified... i do have a writing advice tag, but take everything i say with a grain of salt!! if it's fanfic literally all that matters is that you enjoy whatever you're writing.

i'm more than happy to share my writing journey though!! it's kinda fun to reminiscence.

i've loved reading and writing ever since i was a little lock. while thinking about this ask, it occurred to me that what i've always been the most invested in are the characters. i'd think about 275894275 different storylines with them. i didn't start writing fanfic until i was around 11 though, everything was handwritten. or in flipnote hatena.

i did a lot of fanfic writing from 11-14 buuuut then my interest in it kinda fizzled out. it wasn't until i watched hxh for the first time that i took it up again bc chrollo is that powerful. that's when i started conceptualizing HWR. i looked at my early writing folder, the first HWR fanfic i wrote was in 2016 when i was 15 ?? here's a cursed excerpt:

anyway, once i started making googly eyes at chrollo, it was gg. i've been writing often ever since.

what's helped me the most is to focus on the elements i find interesting. for example, i like fleshing out my MCs, focusing on dialogue, and developing a universe around the main pairing. because i enjoy this so much it's (mostly) always easy to devote time and effort toward it.

so i think it comes down to finding out what niches you like and working with those. some writers prefer to write with heavy prose, others are more succinct, some writers like dialogue, others prefer to be more action based... etc etc. this does require a little time if you're completely new to writing, but you know yourself best. you'll eventually pick up on what part of the story you're most excited to write.

this isn't particularly mind-blowing or anything but i hope it helps some 😭 what completely Altered my mindset was when i realized i can be as self-indulgent as humanly possible. cringe is not in my vocabulary. write a MC where every single character is in love with them if you want. write a 100k word fic about your OC being isekaid into x world. post about your f/os, draw art of you with your fav, go ham.

#ii have almost completely lost a sense of shame when it comes to stuff i like #i remember that the earth is basically on fire and ppl unironically listen to ben sharpieo #i will have fun with my silly little fics and no one can stop me #sweet asks #answered #Anonymous

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peachyunjinnie · 4 years

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— 01. ❝be quiet❞ bgc ― m.

― summary: bang chan is the biggest fuckboy on your school. you end up being his tutor and things get very heated during their first lesson.

chan/reader | fuckboy!chan | smut | 1.3k ↬ content warnings: daddy kink, teasing, orgasm denial, overstimulation, breath play, corruption kink and praise kink

a/n : i hope you enjoy it.

→ blogs masterlist

→ Be Quiet Pt. II → Be Quiet Pt. III

“Y/N, I’m glad that you’ve come.” I heard Mrs. Climdriff said as I entered the classroom. I sat down and smiled.

“So. As my number 1 student, I had a harder time teaching this one student. He really takes a longer time to understand a task and I thought about having you as a tutor to give you a note in your report card.”

She looked a little hopeful. I really didn’t mind about tutoring but the thing is that it’s a male. I couldn’t really work with the other gender well and I doubt the idea of me talking to one for longer than the usual 2 minutes.

“Mrs. Climdriff... I don’t really know about that idea.” I was in my thoughts rethinking if it would make sense. I really need as many positive notes as I can get but would it mean that I had to overcome my ‘fear‘ of the other gender?

“He really needs it and I don’t have anyone else who would be good enough for this job.” Her whole condition seemed to done. She really has been in stress lately.

“Who is it then?” I can’t believe I’m considering doing this.

“It’s Christopher Bang from the class above you. He needs to get better in the subject history and geography. He failed the last 2 exams.” she looked at me with so much hope that I couldn’t say no.

Christopher Bang... Let me say this. He probably has penetrated a woman more than the earth has rotated around the sun. I am surprised that he has the stamina to have a new girl every single day. What a shame that nearly all girls and probably some boys are drooling after this walking STD. I am thinking about all the ways I could teach him without actually having to interact with him in person.

“When do I start?” I asked a little unsure.

“Today in the school’s library. He is waiting there.” She smiled and it seemed like a big weight has come off her shoulders. She must’ve really have a lot of concerns with this dude.

“Here, if the lesson goes longer then tell Mr. Wilson that I gave it to you.” She handed me the keys.

“Alright, uh what topic should we do?”

“Geography, Human Development. Chapter 4 Growth and Development.”

“Does he have the book? Or should I-”

“Here you go.” She gave me the stuff and opened the door for me.

“Thank you very much, Y/N. I don’t know what I would do without your help.” She smiled and let me out of the classroom.

What kind of mess did I get myself into? Christopher. The reason why the girls/boys here behave as if they got stuck in the Stone Age and had the strong urge to have sexual intercourse.

I entered the library and went up to Mr. Wilson.

“Hi, Y/N. Done with the book already?” He smiled. My visits here are a ‘ritual‘ so I’ve known Mr. Wilson for a longer time now.

“No, but I am tutoring a student. Mrs. Climdriff gave me the keys if it would get late. If that’s not a problem, of course”

“No, it’s not. Good luck with tutoring, Y/N” His eyes focused on the screen again, as I walked off.

At a table I saw a blonde male. Browsing through his phone and as always not giving anyone any attention.

“Hello, I am your tutor.” I said with avoiding any eye contact.

“Oh, hi.” His voice is deep and pleasant to hear.

“So let’s just get this fast,okay?” He asked.

“Don’t tell me twice.” I searched for the book and opened chapter 4.

“Mrs. Climdriff told me to go over Chapter 4. Growth and Development with yo-“

“Are you still a virgin?” He asked as if this isn’t the library and everyone in the radius of 4 meters can hear him loudly and openly talking about my nonexistent sexual life.

“Excuse me?” I asked high-pitched. Nervously trying to keep my sanity.

“You heard me, baby girl.” His eyes gazing holes into my soul. His eyes, my weak point.

“What the hell. I am not going to tutor you if you ask me questions about my sex lif-“ He cut me off with a small laugh.

“What sex life please?” His attitude is so ugh.

He leaned back at his chair and started to stare at me. A stare that could make me go weak, and give me a hard time focusing on the tutoring.

“I do have a sex life, Christopher.” I glared back at him and his smirk never left his lips.

“Then tell me, what happens in it, Y/N?” His eyes were still burying holes into my skull. He came closer with his face and made me stand up. I stumbled backwards and he just continued to walk with the devil in his eyes.

“N-Nothing that y-you should know, Christopher.” My voice was shaking and my stutters were humiliating. Why does he still have this affect on me? What is he doing to me? All these months and he still plays with me like a marionette.

I stopped at a wall and my god he came even closer. To the point of feeling his hot breath on my tomato-colored cheeks. His cologne didn’t change after this time. I almost lost my mind and control of my body.

“Christopher, what are yo-“ His fingers shutting up my words.

“Be Quiet and just enjoy, Baby girl.” His voice was so deep and raspy. He still has me around his finger and there is literally nothing that I can do about it. He knows exactly what he is doing and what he has to say to get a girl begging for him.

His fingers reached my school uniforms skirt and lifted it up, slowly. My white silk panties are peaking out and he bites his lips and crouches down to my lower belly.

“S-Stop. We’re in the library, Ch-Chris..” Way too lost into his perfectly and godlike fingers, I couldn’t let out a sentence without turning into a stuttering mess.

“Do I have to repeat myself?” He whispered with his hand exploring my ass. His big grip on my body got me whining.

“Y/N. I’m gonna go now. Please lock up and turn the lights off. Goodbye!” Mr. Wilson’s voice echoed through the now empty hallways.

“Y-Yes, Mr. Wilso- “

Chan looked up and looked eyes with mine. A small smile appeared right before he completely buried his 2 fingers into my wet core. A loud squeak left my lips, a small minute of absolute panic, every rush of adrenaline and euphoria rushing through my heated body.

“Chris.. Ah” My heart was beating out of my chest when his mouth connected with my thighs.

“Now tell me again. Are you still a virgin, babe?” His eyes shining and the electricity in the room becoming almost unbearable.

“Y-Yes, I am.”

“Well that was a lie before wasn’t it, baby girl?” He stood up and came dangerously close to my face. I tried to look down but as Christopher was a little faster and trapped my chin with his thumb and index finger.

“As always you don’t look at my eyes, baby girl.” His big smile and his small, deep chuckle made my knees turn into jelly. His eyes keeping me captive under a spell from which I could no longer escape. Such a deep glare that made me breathe out loud.

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bespectacled-panda · 3 years

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after seeing dumpywoof’s post I was inspired to do a tier list of my own!!! and boy howdy do I have some hot takes of the century it turns out,,,

the seasons are more or less organized in descending order within the same row as well (e.g. MC 4 > MC 5). also, shamefully copying dumpywoof & putting a detailed & overly verbose explanation for each season:

S Tier

Terraria 3: For me, absolutely nothing compares to Terraria 3. No other season combines such perfect participant dynamics with such heart-wrenching drama—not to mention the existence of Team New Kids who make me cry on a daily basis, or the incredible fake twist ending. It would be a sin to put this season anywhere but alone at the very top. Also props for being the only (1 of 2) post-show that actually includes all of the cast.

A Tier

Minecraft 4: This is the best season for shenanigans alone, hands-down. It’s largely just the participants shooting the shit together, especially in the latter half of the season when it gets down to just the four of them. & I have a huge soft spot for men being wholesomely foolish together I suppose, so here it goes fhdhfhd.

Minecraft 5: To be honest, I have not seen this season since it released, which is a crime, I know, I’m sorry :orb: But I remember it being very very good, & I cannot imagine my taste will have changed that dramatically in just a few years, so. in truth, this one might be actually better than MC 4, but as I have not seen it in many years I can’t say that for certain. Either way, though, it’s definitely one of the best seasons out there.

MineZ 1: To me, MineZ 1 is the reverse of MC 4: low on shenanigans & high on drama. It’s pre-Todd era, but the editing in this one is honestly Todd-level, I would say. It’s so incredibly tense, especially the scene with McJones & PBG trying to escape the caves, and I feel like the sheer stress of it all brought out a new side of a lot of the participants, most notably Dean—who sounded genuinely agonized at times. A very very quality season all around, IMO.

Terraria 2: This season probably objectively deserves to be B tier, but I am it giving A tier for personal bias. I just,,, love the dynamics okay. Jeff & McJones especially made for a killer duo. It was a rare instance of McJones being the funny man himself rather than being the straight man to someone else’s funny man; he was super uncharacteristically goofy & almost borderline flirtatious at times, it really made for some good moments fhdhfjd. Plus then you got McJones solo commentary at the end which I greatly enjoyed. Just,, a very enjoyable season, very mid-HC era, very light & easy to watch, all that good stuff.

Diablo II: Man,,,,this absolutely 100% does not deserve A tier, I know, I’m sorry, but I just can’t bring myself to put it lower. I have A tier love for it :orb: Admittedly, the game is horrendously ugly and confusing to watch, but the shenanigans + the cast dynamics win me over in the end. Paul especially was great in this, & I hope he makes a return someday. Loving fathers Paul & Jirard with their sorceress son McJones making their way through the end-game just cannot be beaten. (Anti-shoutouts to Ross though, I don’t know anything about him, I am sure he is a lovely man, but GOD. WHY DID HE KEEP RUNNING OFF ON HIS OWN & GETTING LOST BUT THEN FORCEFULLY REFUSING HELP,,, ROSS YOU ARE THE WORST DHDHFJDJD)

B Tier

Minecraft 7: Boy,,, this is going to be a controversial take fhhfjdjf. I just don’t know how to explain it, but something about MC7 felt,,,, Very off. I don’t know what it was, just something about the season seemed very,,, almost like you could tell things were falling apart behind the scenes, & they were trying to pull it back together but weren’t quite succeeding. It’s not a bad season in any regards, of course, I just,, don’t enjoy it nearly as much as a lot of others,, it’s missing that crucial spark of life in my opinion,, also Dean leaving to go to work was kind of strange,, I get it, it’s probably difficult to work around his real-life job,, but it felt strange,, he got like temporary immunity. Nothing like that had ever happened before I don’t think. And also they never even explained why Dean wasn’t there for like three episodes fjdjfjhd,,

Minecraft 3: God I feel like I just keep digging myself into a deeper & deeper hole here fhsjfjd,,, but man, I did like MC3 to be honest. It wasn’t the best season, it kind of went nowhere, but I liked the cast & there was a lot of good funnymoments. Smooth & Shane were very good guests who I feel like really rounded out the season, & Jontron did not come off as terribly overbearing as I believe that he has in other seasons. Overall, pretty decent, I’d say.

C Tier

Minecraft 2: MC 2 & MC 3 are very similar, but I think MC 2 is slightly worse, both in terms of entertainment & cast. NCS & Kyrak did not hit like Smooth & Shane did,,, and I feel like just everything that happened in this one was fairly forgettable. I was torn as to whether this should be a B or a C, but I put it here in the end just to drive home that I really don’t like it as much as MC 3, I don’t believe.

Minecraft 6: Oh lord, this is a nuclear take fhdjfjd. Again, this isn’t a bad season at all, it has its good moments, especially Chad & Dodger, they are angels & I love them & want them back. But boy,,, just. Many things went wrong here. None of the twists panned out like,, at all, which I know isn’t necessarily anyone’s fault, the concept of this twist & of twists in general is very good. But it fell so flat here, especially with the revival. There was,, no debate at all about what to do. They hyped it up like they had this big decision to make, but then nobody made any effort to dramatize it at all. It was basically just Dean deciding by himself and everyone just sitting back & letting him. For the record, I have no qualms with the fact that Dodger was revived, I fully agree that she deserved it over McJones, but it was not played well at all IMO,,, I do have to admit, though, with a fair amount of sheepishness, that the thing that most sullies this season for me is McJones’s death. Just,,, his horrible, so so avoidable, insanely early death, coupled with his retirement shortly thereafter & him becoming so jaded with hc that he expressed borderline hostility & hatred towards it just,,, hurts. I kinda don’t wanna see the events of MC 6 now knowing the aftermath. I understand fully that this particular point is not something most people care about to say the least dhfhdjd, but,,, in all honesty, I really don’t have any desire to rewatch this one, as objectively good as it might be. It was a win but it felt like a loss, if that makes sense. Also the post-show lacked all three people I actually wanted to hear from fhdjfjd neither the two people who could’ve been revived nor the actual person who did the reviving were there to share their insight & perspectives on it :pensive:

D Tier

Starbound: man,,, starbound. This is a very mixed bag for me. On one hand, I disagree with people who say that it was boring or that nothing happened, I found it very tense, Todd’s editing had me on edge throughout every episode. But on the other hand,,, man. Very few memorable moments, what even happened in this one,, also I feel like the game mechanics/plot weren’t explained very well, I feel like I remember being vaguely confused all the time as to what was happening. Probably will not ever rewatch either.

Have Not Seen

DayZ: I will not ever be watching this season both because I do not know anything about DayZ & because from what I’ve heard it was an absolute disaster, I’m just not interested in getting involved in that fhdhfjdk

Terraria 1: There’s not really a reason I haven’t watched this one. Just,, I haven’t made my way down to the earliest seasons yet. Although as mentioned before, I have seen a few clips of this season, & Jontron seems to be pretty obnoxious in this one, so I don’t how much I’ll enjoy the parts with him in it, but I definitely do want to watch it someday.

Minecraft 1: The same as Terraria 1, I just happen to not have seen this one by chance. But unlike T1, I am much more looking forward to actually watching it, it seems really good, I want to experience that legendary very first season at last dhdhfjd

MineZ 2: Man,,, many things about the behind-the-scenes of this season make me sort of uncomfortable honestly. Just,,, the visceral second-hand shame & embarrassment of someone in the hc fandom being so rude & bothersome to the cast,, somehow it makes me feel personally responsible even though I didn’t do anything fhdjfj,,, Also,, once again continuing with the trend of me being saddened by McJones expressing dislike for seasons fhdjfjd,, I do recall him saying, regarding this season, something like “I think it would’ve been better if we just never did this,” which,,, ow. That doesn’t make me particularly enthused to watch it fhdjfjd. I probably will end up watching this season someday to be honest, but I’m not looking forward to feeling the cast’s frustration & unhappiness with the situation,, (EDIT: I want to be clear that there is no actual drama surrounding minez 2!!! it is a perfectly fine season, there is nothing wrong with it, it just happens that I personally am bothered by the fact that there was a lot of like,,, frustration coming from the participants regarding the player who was stalking them. this in no way means that minez 2 is an objectively bad or problematic season!! if minez 2 is your favorite season I completely respect you, there is nothing wrong with that!! there is a lot to like about the season as a whole!!! I just personally care too much about mcjones having a bad time in seasons bc it’s what ultimately led to his retirement, & that makes me sad fjdhfjdjd. but it has come to my attention that my wording made it sound like there was drama about minez 2, which there never actually was, I am very very sorry for my unintentional yet poor choice of words.)

#私がポストしたもの #about time I have a 'my own posts' tag #I hardly make them but they do exist from time to time #also god. good lord this is so long.#get me talking about pbg hc & I just won't ever stop fhdhfhdh #shoutouts to anyone who actually reads this #also again. this is by no means my opinions on objective season quality. fhshfjdj #this is just my opinions on how much I personally like & would rewatch each season

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megashadowdragon · 3 years

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on lukes moment of weakness and how it is fitting for luke among other comments

Personally I TOTALLY believe that George's Luke would have been VERY similarly to Rian's Luke.

And here is the reason why.... Luke has almost always been George's insert (lucas pronunced luke S ) and it makes total sense for Luke to be "exiled" and secluded away just as George became with Star Wars after the backlash of the prequels. But at the end of it, he comes back and stands up for what makes Star Wars what it is. Which is what Luke does for the Jedi and themes of Star Wars by the end of TLJ. He has learned from his mistakes, atoned for them, found redemption, confronted those he has failed, inspired hope, and learned to show compassion once again.

Now while George may have done it differently, I do believe that Luke being in exile was a metaphor for George's own relationship with Star Wars and its fandom.

www . reddit . com/r/StarWars/comments/ebb4f3/lukes_momentaneous_thought_of_killing_ben_solo/

I know I'm stepping on dangerous territory here by talking about The Last Jedi, and I only do this because I think this is an interesting take on a key moment of the movie. Just bear in mind that I do not intend to make my point-of-view the absolute truth of it. After all, this is just my opinion.

We all know very well how divisive Episode VIII was, with many people pationately hating that movie. One of the main reasons of complaint is the fact Luke Skywalker had attempted to kill his apprentice and nephew, Ben Solo, because he sensed the Dark Side to be too strong in the latter. Luke Skywalker, the only person in the entire galaxy that saw there was still light in Darth Vader, tried to kill his relative. When even Obi-Wan Kenobi and Yoda had lost all hope Anakin could be saved, Luke helped putting him on the path of redemption, helping Vader turn back to the Light and fulfill the prophecy of the Chosen One. It seems to be an insult that this same character gave up on his nephew so easily and tried to kill him.

I believe things must be analyzed more carefully.

I've just finished marathoning the Skywalker Saga (by the way, I STRONGLY recommend the Ersnt Rister order: IV-V-I-II-III-VI) and noticed something very interesting while watching Return Of The Jedi.

During the final moments of Luke and Vader's duel aboard the Death Star II, we see the young Jedi Knight wants to avoid fighting his father so as not to fall in the trecharous web of Palpatine, who wants to turn the young Skywalker to the Dark Side. Luke is hiding beneath the Emperor's throne. Vader chases him and, through the Force, reads Luke's thoughts to lure him into confrontation:

You cannot hide forever, Luke. Give yourself to the Dark Side. It is the only way you can save your friends. Yes, your thoughts betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially for... sister! So, you have a twin sister!

In this moment, we see Luke's face and he's completely terrified by the idea Darth Vader found out about his sister. It is something new and Luke fears for Leia's well-being. Also, we hear from Vader's words that he cares a lot about his friends, the people he loves. Vader continues:

Your feelings have now betrayed her too. Obi-Wan was wise to hide her from me. Now his failure is complete. If you will not turn to the Dark Side, THEN PERHAPS SHE WILL!

Now we have something different. Since he was brought before the Emperor, Luke had been constatly confronted by Palpatine and Vader with the idea of him turning to the Dark Side. When Vader talks about the possibility of that happening to Leia, it's not a threat directed to him, but to someone he loves. In this moment, Luke loses it completly and attacks Vader viciously, totally enraged. The Sith Lord can't stand the power of his son, fuelled by hate and falls to the ground, defeated. In this moment Luke is prepared to make the final blow, but then he hears Palpatine laughing and clapping. This makes him go back to his senses and realize what he's been doing. He then turns off his lightsaber and refuses to kill his father.

"I'm a Jedi, like my father before me" and so on... we know what happens, so let's fast-forward to The Last Jedi.

When Luke is confronted by Rey, who demands him to tell what had happened between him and Kylo Ren, we learn how things unfolded through Luke's perspective:

I saw darkness. I sensed it building in him. I'd seen it in moments during his training. But then I looked inside, and it was beyond what I ever imagined.

In this moment of the flashback we see Luke's hand reaching out to his lightsaber, almost unconsciously. He then proceeds:

. He would bring destruction and pain and death, AND THE END OF EVERYTHING I LOVE BECAUSE OF WHAT HE WILL BECOME, AND FOR THE BRIEFEST MOMENT OF PURE INSTINCT, I THOUGHT I COULD STOP IT.

Here it is again. Like in Episode VI, we see Luke reacting in a similar way by the notion of something posing a threat not to him, but to the people he loves and cares about. Luke feared Ben would destroy everything he cherished, just like Vader had threatened by turning Leia to the dark. And, just like in the OT, it was a passing shadow:

It passed like a fleeting shadow, and I was left with shame and with consequence. And the last thing I saw were the eyes of a frightened boy whose Master had failed him.

I've already written way more than I expected, so I'll just conclude here. I've realized the act Luke commits in the Sequels is the same (or at least VERY similar) as from the OT: he attempted to kill Vader then his nephew, out of fear of seeing what/who he loved destroyed. He repented and managed to stop himself in the act in both situations. And he was ashamed. So, at least regarding this point of the movie, I see the same Luke Skywalker.

(luke had more to lose now then he did before

another example which I saw dont remember where I saw it but I saved the comments unfortunately I didnt put in the links:

edit: (now I remember www . reddit . com/r/StarWars/comments/9a3hdl/)

Luke considered killing Ben for about two seconds in a vulnerable moment

Sort of like he almost got baited into killing Vader by a few mocking words, and cut the hand off his own father in blind rage.

Luke is still just a person. If we've learned anything in Star Wars it's that the Jedi are not superhuman paragons of virtue and perfection, no matter how they might appear to the unwashed masses in the SW universe. They have the same flaws, temptations, failures, etc as anyone else. Yes the Force can help them overcome some of this, but they're far from perfect. Luke could have, and I agree should have grown in a positive way, but it's not impossible or even unbelievable that he didn't. He just had his life's labor wiped out in front of him and blamed himself for it. All those years of finding lost Jedi knowledge and artifacts, being what he believed to be the last Jedi in the universe with the responsibility to restart the order on his shoulders alone. All those lives that he took under his protection and guidance as the Master of the new order, wiped out in one night. Because of him (at least in his mind). Everything he was working towards for years just totally undone in a few hours and it was all his fault.

So he leaves and says fuck the whole lot of it. He lives by himself, stews in his misery and regret, retreats into himself and rejects the most foundational principle of the whole concept of being a Jedi: to help people. He's the most powerful Force user alive and he's wasting away by himself on some desolate rock, swearing off the rest of the galaxy because he thinks that he's a failure, that he wasn't strong or good enough, that he can't win, that it's not even worth it to try anymore, and that even at the height of his wisdom and power, it was all undone, and by himself no less.

another comment

Stuff has changed, I mean he’s quicker to come to his senses. I wouldn’t call that his flaw though. His flaw is one of his greatest traits, his care for his friends and family. It’s a flaw cause it causes implusive actions, lashing out on Vader, leaving Yoda, a single thought that he could stop a horrible fate in Ben.

I personal struggle with a temptation in my life, a temptation to do something my faith says is wrong to do. I may have overcome it some days, but other days, whether the same circumstances or not, I might fall into it. Temptations are a constant battle, not a one and done thing. Flaws are similar, you don’t just grow past a flaw after one instance.

Because a day may come when you will brought face-to-face with that temptation or flaw again, but the circumstances will be different, and it won’t be so easy to overcome.

You mentioned Toy Story in a post, and that’s a decent example when it comes to one facet. Woody might not get jealous when another flashy toy comes along that gets more attention like Buzz did.

A better example of the nagging of a temptation, like Luke dealt with, is in Lord of the Rings. The Ring is a constant temptation to the bearer and those around them. At least by the film, Frodo may have resisted the urge to use it under the tree, but he still was tempted to use it at other times, and it was a constant battle. Same with Bilbo. Bilbo held the ring for 60 years. And the temptation of it held him greatly. He drops the Ring in Bag End, letting it go. If he was viewed similarly to how people viewed Luke tossing the saber, that’d mean he freed himself from it’s grasp and from the temptation to take and use it. We see in Rivendell that isn’t the case for him. He has a moment of wanting to take it back, and even at the end of his time in Middle Earth, he inquires about it, although more innocently curious.

That would be more similar to Luke’s case. To fall to the dark is a constant temptation that Jedi should always be aware of, and if you get close at one point, there’s the possibility that it’ll happen again, and if you aren’t prepared or it comes in a different form, you’ll either fall or get really close.

That turned out longer than I meant it, but I see this idea and..it’s just not the case.

another comment

Just because you get older doesn't mean you necessarily get wiser and better.

Jedi are still people (and some aliens, but you get the meaning), and the prequels (and even the OT) showed that even the oldest and wisest among the Jedi were capable of mistakes and misjudgments.

I think it's unreasonable to assume Luke should have become incapable of making, or even repeating mistakes and succumbing to emotion.

Right because people only get better as they get older and we grow past our flaws and doubts permanently right?

You guys are weird.

Luke overcame that moment of doubt before he almost struck Vader down and you think what ....... Luke got some kind of videogame like powerup where that character flaw would never come back again?

Some of you have a very black and white (boring) opinion on life and human growth.

Spoiler: People have flaws, we don't all overcome those flaws.Your boy Luke is no exception.

Consider what nearly proved to be his downfall in Return of the Jedi: for all the Emperor's taunting about the Rebel Alliance's imminent demise, it was Darth Vader who finally pushed his Berserk Button by discovering that Leia was his twin sister and suggesting that if Luke didn't change sides, he and his master might have better luck turning her. Then, when Luke went berserk, it totally worked: he curb-stomped Darth Vader and still didn't go evil in the end. His father's killing off the Emperor also put an end to a whole lot of the Empire's evil and birthed the New Republic.

Flash forward thirty years, and once again someone is threatening everyone and everything Luke loves, and killing the guy would surely preempt a whole lot of trouble. In his heart of hearts, he doubtless remembers what Yoda taught him about how easy and seductive the Dark Side is, but he also remembers how Yoda's mistake of hiding the truth about his lineage from him nearly brought his downfall. He also remembers how killing the Emperor solved so many problems the way he'd better not try to solve them this time... Well, what's so tempting about that?

Luke had more to lose at this time. He knew what a relatively free, peaceful Galaxy looked like, and had other students to care for besides Ben. Instinctively, he was acting out of concern for them. Luke makes an important point when he gives Rey the truth: it is a split second. Luke is a hero, but he's human. He was impulsive and acted on instinct in his youth, so the fear of Ben turning is enough to push him to the edge for a second.

hopeforben . tumblr . com/post/623000635980333056/theres-a-significant-portion-of-the-fandom-that/embed

@emeraldspiral

@daughter-of-water

@someoneintheshadow456

#star wars #star wars the last jedi #luke skywalker #star wars meta

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monkey-network · 4 years

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Good Stuff's Best of 2019

WARNING: Just wanted to say cheers to you for making it through another year. I send you best wishes for next year to be fruitful. Thank you, take care out there, and enjoy. (Best of 2017) (Best of 2018)

Dedicated to Russi Taylor, John Witherspoon, Rip Torn, Tartar Sauce, Caroll Spinney, Peter Matthews, and the many of KyoAni lost in the arson incident. You all did wonderful; rest in peace.

Welp, I figured the last year of this decade would be the most chaotic one by far, then again everything peak after 2012. As for now, I am counting down the best cartoons/animations/comics I’ve seen and loved this year in no particular order other than #1. Same rules apply: No sneak previews of future projects, no repeats, and this time anything goes.

Runner Ups: Superman Smashes the Klan, Marvel’s Aero, Infinity Train, Enter the Florpus, Amphibia, Mao Mao: Heroes of Pure Heart, Helluva Boss, Meta Runner, Lego Movie 2, Forky Asks a Question

Anyways, Badda boom bang whiz, let’s do this shizz...

10. Super Mario Bros GT

Nostalgia can be quite a mystery, especially one that can come out of nowhere. Super Mario Bros Z kicked so much ass as a kid that now, it still frustrates me to this that it got a cease & desist from Nintendo, even the reboot from the same person couldn’t last long. But the gods have offered a slight miracle in the form of this new spiritual successor that has heart and soul put into every pixelated frame. There is much to celebrate with Youtube animation, where many say it’s dying due to the algorithm and all of the site’s corporate bullshit, but it’s stuff like this which helps me understand why we should celebrate. Against all odds, channels like Smasher Block willfully put their works out their for the people and continues to because on top of getting a little dough, it’s what they want to do.

9. DC SUPER HERO GIRLS (2019)

Awwwwww yeah, this is She-Ra and the Princesses of Power done right. Diverse female squad, each given a quality screen time to truly shine (Beecher especially) on their which makes the episodes where they’re all together feel earned and joyous to watch. Certainly reminds me of Friendship is Magic, which is coincidental since they were created by the same woman. I’d like to think this and MLP G4 were the answers to Faust’s cancelled project Milky Way and the Galaxy Girls where multiple personalities collide to one extraordinary superhero team of girls capable great feats that are lifted from their insecurities or drawbacks. And on top of this being a fun series to kick back to all around, it’s a comforting, somewhat aspiring thought to consider.

8. JOKER

I am somebody that rarely goes to the theaters to watch a film; you have to hook my tight just for me to even think of buying a ticket, no less plan to. But honestly, Joker was worth the hype, the ticket, and the fact that it wasn’t the incel uprising that buttfuck normies tried to make it out as. It’s lower on the list because in thought, there definitely could’ve been some tweaks to the dialogue and a couple scenes that I felt didn’t work in the long run. But really, this movie to me worked because of the escalation that leads to a cathartic climax and ending that left me in actual tears. I don’t give a shit if it “doesn’t fit”, having Frank Sinatra sing the film's credits put me in shambles. Joaquin Phoenix was phenomenal as Arthur, and this movie felt authentic in its many details. This is definitely up there with my favorite comic book films of all time. Good thing, too, Spider-Man was taking up most of that shelf.

7. TUCA & BERTIE

This series being what I can’t help but say is a spin-off to Bojack Horseman, a show I respect, was enough to pull me into watching it. But it being like Bojack where it’s tight-roping between a bouncy comedy and a grounded drama was what kept me around for more. It is a damn shame this was cancelled after one season (while 13 Reasons Why gets FOUR seasons like what the fuck), because while this did feel enough like a complete series, I was certainly interested for more because I really enjoyed it all. I have my issue with a couple choices in the show, but I am sure this series would’ve addressed them later down the line. I can see why some women would find this personally endearing, it felt like the personal stories of actual people, and it deserved better. Either way, I enjoyed this series and I recommend it just as much as Bojack.

6. PRIMAL

Genndy Tartakovsky is that kind of cartoon creator where you feel he’ll go beyond if you give him the right amount of space. He’s not a perfectionist like John “Dirty Diddler” Kricfalusi, but with things like Hotel Transylvania and Samurai Jack, he certainly has proven to have the range in animation where you know how he plays. Primal showcasing his noted skill in dialogue-less storytelling and dynamic action scenes, able to convey everything clear with its ruthless yet careful protagonist and his dinosaur friend, all on top of the most luscious backgrounds. This is a series that definitely feels like Genndy’s taken what he’s used from his previous works and putting it together for a brutal yet passionate look at the prehistoric life. He truly brought us an adult series to enjoy and to look forward to more in the coming year.

5. SPINEL

Bet you didn’t expect a character to be on this list, eh? Spinel is the best thing to come out of Steven Universe in general; makes me wish she was in a better movie. The crew certainly did their darndest to make her not only an enjoyable and connectable character through and through, but a very versatile character that the fandom could take in any which way. Call it corny, but Spinel perfectly represents SU as a whole: a lovable goof that can certainly mean business but deep down is deserved of a hug because of what she’s gone through. Wish she had a more satisfying resolution in her respective debut, but really it’s the balance between those three elements mentioned that makes Spinel almost eternally wonderful.

4. MOB PSYCHO 100 II

As someone that doesn’t like reading, I’m a firm believer that the best animations or visual medias elevate the writing to a memorable degree; the visuals hook to the point where you want to think about what you saw and how it was conveyed. Mob Psycho 100, for two seasons now, does this in spades where Studio Bones throw them bones in animating one of the most dynamic animes of the modern era, providing the writing and characters a proper chance to flex its muscles. The characters are especially what makes this and MP100 as a whole work so well, the story being about a boy learning to be more sociable as well as emotionally stronger all while helping others understand maturity and empathy. For more on this, I recommend Hiding in Public’s video(s) on Mob. But with the animation, Bones was able to provide a sense of impact and immersion to the moments that matter, not making it an overstimulating mess, and putting some respect on ONE’s webcomic art style.

3. KLAUS

Hands down, this is a great Christmas movie. Take away the animation and you have a charming, wanna say ground and authentic, story about the makings of Santa Claus. With memorable and likable characters, a nice escalation in terms of the plot, and moments that are/can be so satisfying, they can bring you to tears. A couple overdone tropes in the road that doesn’t make this the most perfected story, but those sincerely minor compared to everything else that makes this story the best. Now. Add in the animation, and you have a gold, nay a platinum animated story of the year where the visuals definitely enhance the story to a degree where they’re undoubtedly inseparable. The visuals alone is enough to check this movie out and it’s eye-opening when you learn of how it’s all done. Klaus is a film that did it’s job and then some, and I hope this will be well remembered as a classic holiday film for it deserves that status.

2. BEASTARS

I’ll be fair, I’m mostly referring to the manga and not the anime but since the anime premiered this fall, it counts. Because be it the anime or the series overall, Beastars has such well intricate world building all while offering a little something for everyone (violence, romance, slice of life). The story is well paced and even when we aren’t focusing on the main characters momentarily, Itagaki is surprisingly able to make every supporting/side character we come across memorable in their own way; like I said before, the city is much a character in this story. Oh yeah, and the mangaka is the daughter of Keisuke “Grappler Baki” Itagaki, that in itself is a treasuring bit of trivia for this. Everything about Beastars is enticing and Studio Orange certainly helped in giving this series more of a following.

1. GREEN EGGS & HAM

Well, well, well. Guess Netflix is three for three in terms of bringing its best foot forward among its few steps back each year. The best term to describe this series is surprising. Surprising that this is a Dr. Seuss story that got expanded a 13 episode series, that has fleshed out characters, fun hijinks, an easy story, lovely emotional, more quieter moments... on top of being 2D hand drawn animated. I mean, what else is there to say? Green Eggs and Ham is to Dr. Seuss what Seven was for Final Fantasy, what Friendship is Magic was for MLP, what watermelon was before a nice menthol cigarette. This definitely took the top spot because to me, it was able to bring many good elements from the previous entries and knot it all together into a well kept bow that I never knew I wanted until now. I’m genuinely glad this show got to exist the way it is and I am hoping, praying, that the second season keeps that momentum up.

That leads us to the actual number one which is

1. STEVEN UNIVERSE FUT-

Total Dramarama is now the two time World Heavyweight Champion, babey. Will 2020 give us a quality contender? Will the streak last another year?

Stay tuned, and always seek out the Good Stuff.

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rabbitindisguise · 5 years

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oooo my phone died, killing the possibility of me doing my Daily Assigned Task (I only have one because aside from staying afloat with food and stuff that’s all my brain can cognitively handle. Yes, I also do this doing the school year. Yes, I know that sounds absolutely bonkers) right this moment so while I have my boredom captive in this textpost, let’s ruminate over the nature of humanity some more ignore me I’m talking to myself

it is also very extremely weird and by “very” I mean “not at all” and “extremely” I mean “minimally, if anything, actually not super weird in any of the senses of the word” and weird still just means weird because otherwise the previous things I just said would no longer be accurate BUT

let’s just say it’s totally expected

that people find These Weird Things That I Do generally, absolutely fascinating in fiction. Like, my original works for example are steeped in weirdness. Rolling with abnormalities. Boiling with oddity. And so on. And I don’t pull this out of my ass! Oh no. This is all like . . . gosh, inspired stuff. From things I saw and liked and felt reflected my very soul in fiction.

But they’re totally hated in meatspace

I wonder

Anyway, it’s also really strange to see posts about this Weird Things That People Do on tumblr and to read people complimenting them and to feel a warm glow of pleasant optimism about the state of humanity, and hear the very same audience of tumblr people absolutely go nuts over the strangest bullshit I have ever seen or heard or conceived of in my entire life. Like I get weirdly tense and fraught subjects. I get really tense and pissy if someone headcanons a character as binary trans when I headcanon them as non-binary when I’m a nb trans it literally doesn’t matter aside from my emotional attachment to the concept. I’m not proud of it! But I get it, is my point. I understand. It makes sense to me.

But what just doesn’t quite click, doesn’t snap into the convoluted logic of my brain meats, is HOW exactly SO MANY people have the same weird gripes of this obscure stuff that should be totally okay if people are accepting the activist principles of ableism as nonsense and weirdness not being bad. Many others who are probably smart have said it is simply, nay, merely hypocrisy and I’ve met a human or two in my time alive, I can see the potential for that sort of thing to happen. However, considering that Herd Mentality is what it is, I don’t think it’s possible that the plague is actually “being widely inconsistent in the execution of your beliefs to fit in to society” when that’s so stigmatized but actually that being angry about the same things is good for some reason.

This is important! It’s important because Reasons. Because if you say “hypocrite!” when there’s a fire, I don’t think anyone will understand or listen to the concern. If the answer is anything but hypocrisy, talking about it generally pisses people off and makes them yell at you- a near identical response of an actual hypocrite, confusing everyone further. So I don’t think it’s unfair to talk about hypocrisy, of course not, there is nothing I enjoy more than finding logical inconsistencies because it means the world can be improved etc etc that’s not the problem. The problem is most definitely that if the problem isn’t even hypocrisy than the solution isn’t the solution to hypocrisy.

If my theory is right, or semi-right, or at least not wrong, then approaching a bunch of people yelling about a thing to encourage others to yell in tandem is not going to be won by yelling something opposing to that, especially if it makes them angrier and also makes them feel wronged. Instead, calmly being like “nah, dude, I don’t feel the same way, but it’s chill” is way better. Not only because it makes them look ridiculous for having an out of proportion reaction to someone being weird in public (the horror, whatever shall we do about ~being weird~ and doing it ~in public~) but there’s no defensive position to get on. There is no “debate tactics” to use. There’s absolutely not a disagreement about ableism or politics or intersectionality. Rather, it uplifts a contrary option that is confident and secure and this is exactly the same rhetorical device that Centrists or whatever they’re called, use all the damn time. People have talked At Length about jeez, idk, it being exhausting to constantly talk to a person that’s not as invested and doesn’t see it as the Serious Issue It Is- but from the perspective of when they’re actually talking about serious issues, rather than complaining that someone referenced a tumblr meme in public or plays mc and oh, no, how cringey

This is of course blatant emotional manipulation but as the fairness complaint generally goes, they did it first. Multiple people weighing in on a topic with angry voices telling someone not to do something doesn’t work because they have secret actual good reasons and that shines through, it’s because there’s a number of angry people and they’re trying to subdue someone’s Weird with force. Emotional force, but there’s nothing about consent involved in this exchange. No personal boundaries. Shame is a mode of control. Power, even. Which is why I hate those second hand embarrassment fics and avoid them like the plague because it’s icky to me and makes me feel gross and I guess one of my personal triggers is someone feeling bad for doing something Shameful in public

Which brings me to Weird Humanity Musings part II (III? I can’t do math) that have taken a weird non-activist and highly personal turn for the worst:

I don’t think people notice how often emotional manipulation plays a part in subtle power plays that go on in human interactions every day. Humanity made dominance ffs. Humans are the ones that get upset and feel challenged with eye contact- not dogs. Dogs use sustained eye contact all the time for a bunch of reasons. Humans too. But it’s humans that recontextualized that behavior as exclusively dominance, a wholly human concept, and, whatever I’m not going to spend too much time on this because I don’t actually particularly care about it. But the point is actually just that humans went out of their way to create this thing, and it plays a part in social interactions. Mothers and daughters and siblings and friends all have scripts of code that basically go for the emotional center of the other person to get them to obey. Most people can’t recognize it because society has that whole “if everyone does it THIS must be the baseline of normal” be as well All Know, normal doesn’t even exist so that reaction is bullshit before it’s even analyzed in any meaningful sense.

Example time because I highly doubt I can just say that off the cuff and actually get people to follow that train of thought to completion (unfortunately, I’d rather not have to write this post at all because it means one less problem in the world and that’s a good thing).

Anytime someone says “I’m your mother!” it’s to reinforce the authority of the child that this person probably have financial, social, physical (such a medical) and emotional control over for almost two decades of their life, or however much it actually was. This is often used to make the child of the mother Do Something, like maybe they’re questioning her judgement or smth I don’t know I get this one a lot and it’s lost all meaning to me by now

Whenever someone says “thank you” it generally plays into the social script where they do the whole dance of “I got this service from you, I say thanks, you say you’re welcome.” This works as a subtle manipulation (not necessarily negative! these examples aren’t Get Mad and Force Conformity examples, just How It Works examples) when someone doesn’t feel like they’ve done something for someone else, so saying “thanks” shows appreciation for the effort and can force an acknowledgement of that effort by expecting a “your welcome” or “no problem” from the other person. This gets shitty and creepy when someone doesn’t take silence aka “I’m not doing the dance because I don’t agree” to a degree where they’re like “oh? are you not going to say you’re welcome?” aka are you gonna be a conceited shithead that thinks they’re better than saying “you’re welcome” the most common social nicety that supposedly always costs nothing? Which does nothing to make the person to feel better and everything to leverage the situation and make them preform social interaction for the other person’s amusement.

“Good morning” is another example. It doesn’t actually matter if the morning is good or not, but it establishes rapport and focuses on the positives- one of those things called “small talk.” (Never heard of her.) This is something someone can actually observe better at the cultural level- someone says “good morning” in english, in another language they say something else. Both show ideological underlying beliefs of the culture Because That’s How Culture And Language Work because it’s a sneaky not-liar that can’t hide its true feelings about things.

I’m not actually all that good with the line between “what is acceptable emotional manipulation in a social context when the fundamentals of the english language rely on subtle power exchange to function [and holy shit would some people hate knowing That] and the unacceptable abusive emotional manipulation” and I generally err on the side of stuff that people seem to be explicitly asking for and prompting but I don’t always succeed and I don’t know that I’m doing the best method but that’s the most chaotic good thing I could come up with

But it still remains that calling things emotional manipulation is both true and a misnomer because in some ways, they’re necessary to exist in society without being considered a jackass (as a self proclaimed “I was called a jackass using many different words that all basically mean jackass” that mostly doesn’t participate in these social nicety dances because I don’t like my brain yelling at me that I’m doing the same bullshit I hated as a Youth and I don’t like disappointing myself) and in others, they’re totally unneeded and artlessly cruel. I mean, heck, going through this internal debate every time someone says “good morning?” Who does that? (I do. This is why people think I’m a dumbass lmao. Jokes on them unfortunately,)

Regardless of what people actually DO about it though, these things are the underlying mechanics of how emotional manipulation works. It’s a concoction of societal expectations, situational contexts, personal histories, selective pressures, and a bunch of other things in smaller amounts. Most of the time it’s “normal” social stuff but with a ton of exaggerated features (I almost used my own handle from a different Social Media and that my friends is having a lot of issues and self hatred due to abuse! and also anxieties over becoming abusive ofc but who doesn’t have those these days). Which is why I think it’s so important that it’s expansively defined so much because otherwise people are really thickheaded about emotional abuse specifically. They think it’s impossible to do in some cases and in others, think it’s exclusively the realm of insults and humiliation.

Those exaggerate features are even harder to spot if someone doesn’t even recognize the interpersonal dynamics of language in the first place. It all just becomes nonsensical and no one can tell what came from where or what this particular question is abusive and not this other one. The logic gets poked with holes easier and abuse survivors get dismissed.

Of course, expanding that definition to reshape thinking might just go along the same direction as representation, where even alluding to the truly abusive mechanics of actual, you know, emotional abuse, is seen as abusive. Everything, literally, would become problematic. There could be callout posts about any human interaction in any context with anyone ever. I’m confident in holding myself to a higher standard than the rest of society but I Cannot overstate that being bullshit to the nth degree that I couldn’t even put up with myself telling myself to keep to it as a standard. It just doesn’t work. I’ve tried it. That way lies the nonsense form of madness as in the non-nd kind. That, along with purity culture and censorship and doxxing and death threats and so on: I don’t fully want to release this theory out into the world in practice because I’m afraid society will just use it as fodder to be cruel to people but I’m also equally afraid that not saying anything will just cause people to, I don’t know, keep accidentally causing suffering to others. So I’ll stuff it under a read more and hope that keeps the impact minimal but not non-existent.

But yeah this whole post is a demonstration that just because someone’s behaving weirdly doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re bad people. Even if they do something that seems downright mean. I read a post that was basically “there’s no such thing as asshole disorder” but there really is, and it’s whatever I have. I get so compelled to Do the right thing by my ethics and morals that I go through above *gestures* and take longer than neurotypicals do to respond to “good morning” and I don’t mean anything by it so I assume that people can tell because I assume the best in others, and others are free to assume the worst in me so they do.

I’m not upset by it but I also wish that there were a better system to screen assholes than assuming that non-compliance with normality is a sign of evil, because that’s the system we seem to have. It might have a high reward in the brain via confirmation biases and whatnot, but that doesn’t seem worth the risk of basically knocking down any and every mental illness symptom that’s unpalatable. Because they’re all unpalatable to someone, somewhere. That’s what makes them symptoms. We don’t have any “glowing green hair” as symptoms because that’s just sick as fuck and I want some. People who have working with their symptoms and turned them into something beneficial have largely challenged societal ideas about what is “good” and “natural” to get there, and that type of work isn’t someone everyone is cut out for.

Many physically disabled people are all medical model, all the way because they’ve been largely neurotypical their whole lives, and I’ve read their grieving posts like people recommend that I read and I just don’t see how I can help them empathize with me as a person that doesn’t give a shit if my clicking pen annoys people if it helps me focus. That’s an Asshole move if any has ever be determined by society, but at the same time, a common fundamental symptom of many disorders, and as such, I don’t feel bad about it and I don’t know that I could, ever, be made to feel guilty for existing. I’ve never seen myself as a drain on society. I’ve never felt like a freeloader. And I’ll never feel bad for being disable or neurodivergent. Does that make me the bad guy? Or the weird cool antihero from fiction? My impulse is to say “yes” to both ‘cause what people like in fiction is not always what they tolerate in real life

It’s kinda weird and paradoxical that I can feel bad about not feeling bad but not feel bad about being disabled at the same time but w/e I’m an abuse survivor we, collectively, excel at stuff and things that most people may not understand so I guess that’s all the explanation I need

#abuse #I'm laughing this is so long #I have this many thoughts in like actual conversations #my hands can't type fast enough and I end up deleting half the things I say because the time has passed #from which it would made sense to say them #anyway the long and short of this is: a complex analysis of why I agree largely with the criticisms I recieve #but not with their reasons #usually people mistake my mental illness as me being a bad person #and me being a bad person as me being a good person #do you see #the existential crisis #when I do things I know are unethical I get praise and approval for being neurotypical #because it's expected as normal behavior #while when I don't do it as the most neurotypical thing ever #which is like caring about other people and vying for their approval like the needy bastard that I am #then I'm weird!!#also I don't think I'm an asshole because that need some measure of conscious effort and thought #abuse doesn't need to be intentional #the only mean things I've ever done are generally in a self defense context #and vastly underwhelm in comparison to the other stuff that incited it #on purpose any way #the less on purpose stuff happens all the time and I hate it and I just want five minutes of #I don't know rewind and replay #so I can stop myself from saying and doing things #instead I have to move through life as a snails pace triple thinking things over and forgetting what I was thinking of and remembering #and starting over #jeez I'm tired just thinking of it #I got all burnt out last semester and I kept saying and doing rookie ass mistakes and getting overstimulated in public #which is probably the nail in the coffin and why I'm going to be filing for ssi #I've come to the decision with a mix of perpetual anxiety and hope that maybe

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davidmann95 · 5 years

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The Kingdom Hearts III Reaction

First thing’s first: yes, I got the responses to my initial reaction letting me know I could use L2 to cycle through triangle commands, and oh my god that made things so much more manageable, so thank you.

Gameplay wise, I said what I had to say right off the bat earlier: lot of fun, best version of the traditional playstyle. Gorgeous except for when it’s the most gorgeous. Way more game than I could handle on the margins, but it felt like fun available options I could choose whether to pursue or not rather than overwhelming.

Under the cut I’m gonna talk some broad structural stuff; I’ll avoid anything overtly spoilery, but it would certainly be understandable if you’d rather stay away. Under another bolded sign though I’m going to get into MAXIMUM spoiler territory, so those who just want my basic impressions but would prefer to hold off on more than that until they have their own go at it can know where to get off.

So this game does like 90% of everything I ever wanted it to do, plus so much MORE than I ever would have expected, resulting in a finale even more grand and resonant and satisfying than I might have imagined after nearly 13 years of waiting. The problem is that all that stuff is in the last 8 hours, and it is very, very clear that’s the part of the game Nomura and company actually cared about. This wasn’t interested in being Kingdom Hearts III, it wanted to be Kingdom Hearts III Part 3/3: The Finale after Dream Drop Distance and A Fragmentary Passage covered the other biggies, to the point of as mentioned before critically compromising the beginning of the game. It reached the point where Dream Drop Distance went from just baaaaarely pulling ahead of 358/2 Days to dead damn last in my ranking of these, because it not only set the tone for what went wrong here - even if this succeeded in the end in a way that couldn’t - but sponged off vital reveals and the conclusion to Riku’s character arc, both of which 1,000,000% needed to be in here so this could be a complete sequel rather than in an intermediary story where they were weakened by context.

Long story short, Nomura and Square are going to have to think very, very hard about what kind of a role the Disney worlds are going to play in these going forward, because the enthusiasm for them on the part of the writers is visibly dead. Not across the board, passion clearly went into the likes of the Toy Story and Big Hero 6 worlds, but it could not have been plainer that Monsters Inc. and Frozen were checkmarks being crossed off, perfunctory in a way I genuinely don’t feel the Disney worlds were in the past (though that may be in large part because this time around Sora is literally just there for level grinding, rather than an immediate search for friends, stripping away the central underlying emotional urgency of I and II). It would’ve been alright if there had been a major act break of the sort II had to provide a sense of forward momentum, but as is it really is just marking time while characters other than Sora drive the plot in the background, mostly in the form of catching up with what the audience already knows. They’ll always be a part of the franchise, and obviously the iconic Disney figures in Mickey and the rest will always be central, but unless the powers that be find a fresh new angle I think it’s getting to be time to scale the movie settings back in favor of the main story and original worlds, if not to the extent the Final Fantasy elements have received.

So I spent most of the game disappointed, figuring it would pull it all together for the finale and more than satisfy me, but not enough to retroactively redeem the game as a whole. And then it retroactively went and redeemed the game, because when I say it kicks off in the last 8 hours I don’t mean that that’s where things start getting parsed out in time for the finale. I mean it’s 8 solid hours of climax, physical and plot and character, the most intense and overwhelming of the franchise, answers to real-life-decade spanning mysteries and character resolutions and endgame-scale setpieces and catharsis being delivered just one after the other after the other. It’s the entire emotional underpinning of the game in a single titanic endrun, in an experience and at a pitch I’ve never seen before. Even the parts that should have been set up earlier in the game still have the entire rest of the series and years of anticipation leading into them, and while it’s a shame it had to bank on that advantage, it worked, because when I look back on the game in years to come it’s going to be this that I’ll remember, and when I someday a long time from now play through the franchise as a whole, I’ll go through the parts that previously irritated me with a smile on my face because it’ll just be a charming interlude rather than a dead stop. I can’t put this over II’s more well-rounded experience because of those structural issues, but while 0.2 is maybe the purest expression of intent thus far in the series, its brevity, and the fact that as good as it gets its best isn’t as good as this gets, puts III neck-and-neck with it as the franchise runner-up for me.

Okay, BIGGEST SPOILERS IN THE FUCKING WORLD UNDER THE IMAGE

So being a person who exists online in the 21st century, I had some key images of the ending spoiled for me well in advance, which sucked but was also maybe a blessing in disguise, because if I hadn’t been braced when those last three seconds came...that would have been rough. It was startlingly rough as is, which is odd because as much as I’ve always liked Sora as a character and appreciated the odd way his nature as a Disney hero in a Final Fantasy dark epic makes him a perfect lead and counterpoint, I never realized the depths of emotional investment I’d attached to his specific fate until the rug got pulled out. It would be as blatant a “but there’s no body!” moment as any there’s ever been even without the secret ending and the confirmation on Nomura’s part that Sora will remain the main character, it’s an emotional blow and a setback and a mystery for the others to solve rather than a full tragic ending (and one would have to imagine the characters themselves would believe that and will act accordingly given this entire story was itself about bringing back a bunch of Very Definitely Dead Folks), but it’s harsh as hell even if it’s very clearly the next step in a Master Plan rather than purely blueballing players for the cruel joy of it. Still, even if it’s reminiscent of stuff we’ve seen before, a melancholy-at-best ending is fully within the franchise wheelhouse; if I’m right and there’s one full trilogy of main games remaining in the series (I’m guessing without many if any spinoffs, Nomura’s bosses are definitely going to have his nose to the grindstone to get through the remainder of this thing on a sane timescale so as not to have another...well, this), maybe it’ll fully establish a sad-odd-numbered-ending, happy-even-numbered ending pattern, with IV having a gleeful reunion, V ending with all seeming lost, and the grand finale letting the heroes have their happily ever after.*

Before getting into the gushing praise for the rest of it, the reason this is at 90% of everything I wanted rather than complete: Kairi is bizarrely shortchanged here compared to every other central character, especially given her relationship with Sora is the foundation of the very end and she’s the logical main protagonist for IV. Even her ‘death’ isn’t my issue so much - by the end of the game Sora has rescued literally every other main character from beyond the veil of the afterlife or a living hell in fairly rapid succession, she’s just the last and biggest deal to him personally - as that even a few more scenes with her would have shored up so much. Not that her material isn’t good when she is there, I absolutely do think it was, and the emotional buildup from the series up to this point was more than enough in my opinion to carry her stuff through, but it’s the equivalent of, say, Lois Lane appearing out of nowhere at the end of a Justice League story to provide the impetus for Superman: obviously this works and makes sense because we know how much they mean to one another, but in the context of this as a lone narrative it’s a little out of nowhere. Riku gets it pretty bad too, if not as much so, but he has the ‘excuse’ of having his character arc resolved in Dream Drop Distance. Still though, it means the central trio is scarcely a thing in here the way it was in the past, though it looks like the next game is going to be entirely about getting them back together and hopefully they’ll stay as a complete unit from there on out.

Also prior to gushing praise: if Dream Drop Distance hadn’t happened, it would be so easy to restructure this in a way that would make the whole thing satisfying instead of just a perfect chunk of it. Open the game with Sora and Riku going into the Realm of Darkness to save Aqua, have Sora succeed but in the process of THAT lose his powers (making it a noble sacrifice on his part foreshadowing the end rather than a non-fuckup that the player pays for); Aqua has to recuperate, preferably with Kairi and Lea so they can get more screentime, Sora’s off regaining his powers and tracking down clues to the location of Castle Oblivion since it was under Organization control and therefore hidden, and Riku’s off with Mickey having his DDD arc. Stick the reveal of the real Organization XIII midgame, and keep the finale almost exactly as is. That way, plot and character’s doled out throughout, character screentime is rebalanced, and everything that worked stays working and comes to the exact same conclusion.

Gushing praise time: holy fuckin’ cow, this hit me in ways I did not see coming. The reunion of the other two trios was something I looked forward to well enough but not anything I fully expected to outright bowl me over, but by god they pushed those buttons as hard as they could and made them everything anyone could need them to be. But that was expected, to one extent or another; what I don’t think anyone could have seen coming was, in the final gasp of this saga of hilariously, broadly Arch villains, every single one of them turning out to be a real goddamn human being with understandable emotions and motivations and implied history and arcs. Monsters see the light (with the contextually hilarious exception of the one character fandom MOST wanted to see get a face turn with Vanitas, and even he finds understanding and peace) after a whole series of believing there’s one in the darkness when only one or two major characters had made a turnaround, and it doesn’t just make this game richer, it retroactively improves the entire series thematically and emotionally, as well as setting the stage for more of that approach based on what we know of what’s to come. And action-wise, it really does go for trying to beat II’s last Xemnas fight, and while I don’t know that it manages it in sheer cool thanks to that final laser blocking/dual wielding finale, it I think really does come out on top in the fights leading up to it and the spectacle and the emotional power and the beautiful interface screw (after the shit with the tornado earlier!), nevermind the absolute end where Our Nerd Dad Luke Skywalker** shows up to give his blessing to the franchise and usher out the story as it was.

As for the pair of post-credits scenes: in each instance I had something spoiled for me, but also in each instance not the BIG thing. I knew Xigbar would live and summon the Foretellers, which honestly is not that shocking for me. That he IS one of them, that he’s been putting on an act (one clearly in the shape of his teacher) and been a bigger villain than Xehanort THE ENTIRE TIME? I believe that got a literal gasp out of me, and THAT’S before it turned out that after bullheadedly clinging to the idea that she’s still a main villain for all these years, Maleficent might actually end up a main villain again. And the secret movie? I had the title spoiled - and god what a perfect twist, the most gleefully apeshit moment in the game and already probable best moment in gaming of the year coming back around in a completely serious way to define the future of the franchise - but assumed wrongly that it meant Sora would be in some way ‘reincarnated’ amnesiac as Yozora and needing to be returned to himself. But nope, Sora’s for real out there alive as himself in...something like the real world? Or The World Ends With You, which I understand is at least a lot closer? And Riku’s gonna wind up stuck out there too? And because Yozora’s there it means they’re in some kind of fuckin’ Flash of Two Worlds! situation?! Or if it’s in the same physical realm (which I have to doubt or Sora would rush home as soon as he got a ship) it’s the equivalent of that dope two-part Terra Obscura arc in Tom Strong?! Sora and Riku, trapped in a world where Kingdom Hearts is a Dark, Realistic Modern Urban Fantasy (which, if Sora got here by dying, does...does that mean Gritty Realworld! AU Kingdom Hearts fanfic is that universe’s version of hell? Because that would be beautiful) (did “This is a fantasy based on reality” end up carried over as the logline to Final Fantasy XV from Versus XIII? Because if not, absolutely use it here to keep that gag going) and having to fight their way back to their world and friends, hopefully with Kairi going on her own playable adventure on the other end of the cosmos to find them since there’s no way she wouldn’t be leading the search? And with the Master of Masters waiting in the wings, the perfect villain in general because if Sora is the MOST Disney character in this universe he appears to be the LEAST, and especially perfect here now that Sora’s symbolically if not possibly literally on his turf? Waiting I’m guessing another 3-5 years is gonna be hell (I’m guessing IV’ll be announced next year or maaaaaaaybe late this year because thus far Kingdom Hearts has never gone with no announced games on the horizon longer than the end of the next calendar year, and we’ll see how development goes after that; like I said, I imagine the pressure is on for Nomura), but this could not look more like my shit.

So that’s, after all these years, Kingdom Hearts III: an understandable, maybe unavoidable, but still crushing disappointment that undermined itself narratively before it even began production and ran on a burned-out crew that could never meet the impossible expectations surrounding it. Until it suddenly winks, brushes itself off, and lives up to damn near EVERYTHING on its shoulders in the most incredible ways possible while also transcending its previous limitations as a story right in front of you, and then breaking your heart before planting the seed to repair it and charting a path towards an even more exciting future. All said and done, I liked it a whole lot, and it’ll always be special to me.

* At this point, I really could go for the ending of the whole thing literally being Sora and Kairi walking into the sunset together, with the camera panning up into the sky and text (not mysterious narration like in the past, but old-school Disney-cartoon-style outside-the-world of the story cursive text) appearing to declare 𝒜𝓃𝒹 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓎 𝓁𝒾𝓋𝑒𝒹 𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓅𝒾𝓁𝓎 𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇 𝒶𝒻𝓉𝑒𝓇. That is the level of closure and myth and satisfaction it’s gotta be building towards after everything thus far and everything to come.

** If you are reading this without having played or watched the game: given I know that’s now in the realm of possibility, no, I don’t literally mean Luke Skywalker showed up.

Yet.

#Kingdom Hearts III #Kingdom Hearts #Analysis #Opinion

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mercuriallycooperative · 6 years

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Holy toast it has been literally over two years and I was so certain I’d posted these! But they’ve just been sitting in the back of my draftbox for some reason, presumably because I didn’t get them done in order. Now, I am like two years behind on Steven Universe episodes, but before I get all caught up and decide whether or not reactions and rewatches are something I want to post, here before you is a blast from the past! By which I mean, my thoughts while rewatching/reacting to a Stevenbomb from two years ago. The below text remains completely unaltered from how it has been sitting, complete, in my draftbox for two years.

Day Three of the Stevennuke!

This one has some fun stuff in it, doesn’t it though?

Week 1/Episode 3 of Summer of Steven (Wednesday, July 20)

Too Short to Ride

1) Okay it had to be pointed out to me, but Peridot’s consistent “Wow, thanks” as a reaction to being given gifts, after Steven told her that’s how human-gift-giving-rituals work, is so precious.

2) Okay, so who else is majorly sympathetic to Peridot here? Most of us internet-folk, suddenly losing all the technology and access to media (including any familiar written works) to which we’ve become accustomed, we’d be in pretty dubious shape.

3) Peridot with a Twitter, a Tumblr, a Youtube account. Oh dear. (Anyone else notice some of the other icons on that tablet of hers? Peridot with Tinder, that’s a recipe for I don’t even know what. Although, the interesting point was made that, although it’s possible those were apps preloaded onto the tablet, it could mean that Greg was looking into, what, dating services?)

4) “I really like this. But it’s a shame it doesn’t come attached to your body...” Peridot, makeshift-smartwatch user.

5) And, what the hell anime/cartoons has Peridot been watching, to do that, that, transformation-sequence-sound-effect thing when displaying her velcro tablet-holder?

6) Peridot having to take the time to parse the phrase “hang out” is interesting- like, it raises the whole ‘what language do gems even speak on Homeworld and is there translation weirdness or what’ question.

7) Okay, the arrangement of that Funland sign weirds me out. Like, it’s a big arch, but it seems like it was drawn flush with the wall/booths behind it? And Steven, Peridot, and Amethyst didn’t have to go under it to enter at all? I may have just missed prior examples of how it was drawn, but it’s just kinda weird.

8) Okay, but actually, with that height-restriction sign, Peridot isn’t actually that short. Like, it looked very much like Mr. Smiley sort of, patted her head a little too hard when compressing her hair, because it looked like she was not standing at her full height. I dunno, how that scene was drawn also kinda just bugs me.

9) What got Steven’s last lifetime ban revoked?

10) Mr. Smiley needs some hired help. Preferably sooner than later, because having someone that sleep deprived watching over most of the dangerous rides at Funland is pretty not good.

11) “I’m not falling for that one again.” Do you mean people have tried to use the excuse of Onion setting the roller coaster on fire before?

12) Still paying off the last lawsuit might actually be the reason for the understaffing, actually.

13) “I also do not steal Steven’s clothes when he’s not looking.” Uh-huh. Sure you don’t.

14) “Um, excuse me, but you’re wrong.” Peridot didn’t need much in the way of social graces in any sense that resembles Earth-Western-Human back with Homeworld, did she.

15) I really like how Amethyst hears Peridot’s bitter talk about shapeshifting and it being an insult to your intended form, and then just is like, bro. Tell me the truth, now, something is up with you. Because yeah, actually, the deflecting thing is something they do have in common.

16) Why did Steven try to shapeshift a cat finger if he knew it would freak him out?

17) Manual activation of shapeshifting powers. That’s one of those ideas that could seem good at first glance, but is, in fact, less good. Peridot’s intermittent deadpan “Ow”s support this.

18) I can see where Peridot’s talk about being an Era II Peridot, and therefore somehow less-than could get to Amethyst, given the whole “overcooked runt” thing.

19) And like, she made a good point, at least about the ‘We don’t care about you because of who you could be, we care about you as you are’ thing.

20) That all being said, there were a few problematic points about what she said- not least of which, a few that were a little hypocritical. Remember all the way back in mid-season-1, where Amethyst was all, I-only-feel-how-I-want-to-feel? The extension of that was that other people couldn’t dictate how she felt- even if she was modulating her feelings with potentially unhealthy behaviour. But here we have Amethyst (giving advice she would have given herself, true), trying to tell Peridot how to feel, about herself and the things she’s lost or the things she’s not. Trying to say that how Peridot is feeling right now is incorrect. It’s done with the best of intentions, but it is still rather not okay.

21) Correspondingly, as well as it did end up turning out, what with Peridot finding out about her metalbending powers, it was super not okay for Amethyst to be trying to take that tablet away from Peridot. Like, on several levels. Like, on a surface level, there’s the fact that the tablet was a gift. And gifts mean things to folks, and even if maybe the gift itself isn’t being super good for a person, the emotion maybe attached to it is important.

Secondly, the tablet is Peridot’s. If you respect a person at all, you need to respect their stuff, their right to have stuff. Peridot’s not a prisoner, and she’s not a child even if she can act like one. Heck, with Steven as a point of comparison, we wouldn’t even expect anyone to be policing his possessions at all. (And on that, note, even a child should have the right to their own stuff, a right to some personal boundaries). Peridot came into alliance with the Crystal Gems with nothing of her own. Her tech was demolished or dropped into the ocean, and that’s really all she demonstrably held as her own. Her tape recorder is gone now after the attempt to patch up with Lapis. But we saw the extent of what she considered hers and of value when she was trying to find a gift for Lapis. She has Camp Pining Heart DVD’s and whatever she’s made recently of the barn. That tablet is like, one familiar thing, and one of a very few things she even owns. It’s not okay to try and take that away.

Thirdly, it’s also not up to Amethyst to determine what Peridot does and does not need to cope with the new turns her life has taken. It’s not up to anybody but Peridot- it’s not up to anyone but themself to know what they do and do not need for their mental wellbeing. Maybe they ought to have help now and again, maybe advice, maybe some Serious Discussions. But trying to run someone’s life for them under the assumption that that’s what’s best is not a thing that ought to be a thing.

And last (although this one is perhaps slightly less of a concern, and also I feel like I’ve forgotten a point), Amethyst is stronger than Peridot, almost certainly. We’ve seen Peridot is less strong than Steven, and I feel like we’ve seen in the past Amethyst is as strong as or stronger than Steven. More than this, as someone who’s been a Crystal Gem for so much longer than Peridot, it’s entirely possible that in Peridot’s mind, Amethyst is still in some level of a position of power over her. Like, obviously at this point Peridot is well trusted, after that business with the Cluster and Yellow Diamond. But It’s quite likely that in Peridot’s mind there’s the lingering fear of ‘If I make Garnet or Amethyst or Pearl angry at me they might throw me out I may lose their trust I may lose their friendship’. Whether it’s warranted or not, it’s not an unlikely train of thought, and while honestly I wouldn’t expect it necessarily to occur to Amethyst, the physical strength thing, I wouldn’t expect her to not notice. Peridot couldn’t have won that tug-of-war for the tablet, not if Amethyst was really as intent on taking it as it seemed- Peridot either doesn’t have or doesn’t know how to access (as the episode tells us) any or all of traditional gem powers, such as shapeshifting, that might have equalized her lack of physical strength. Amethyst was, in essence, acting on someone who couldn’t fight back. That whole scene, honestly, has some undertones of bullying in it.

Like again, it ended well enough. Peridot has metal powers. She won herself that alien toy. (But notice also, that Amethyst stopped trying to toss the tablet when Peridot demonstrated those new powers. If she really thought the tablet was that bad for her, then why did she stop? Or was that one moment of Peridot being happy with herself enough to convince Amethyst that it was all cool now? One way or another, I’m really not happen about Amethyst’s reasons regarding this. Even with the best intentions. And honestly, I get the impression that some of that was Amethyst losing her temper, more than anything else.) But still, there were some things. And I hope they’re at least a little addressed at some point- at the very least, as an extension of the question of Peridot’s limb enhancers and how Amethyst ‘lost’ them.

22) The shorty-squad thing at the end was pretty cool, though.

#steven universe #steven universe spoilers #su spoilers #spoilers #rewatch #rewatching steven universe #my contribution #too short to ride

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gayshitiguess · 5 years

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So since @riahawk messaged me the second after I made that post saying simply “playlist yes” I thought I would share.

So I chose one song for every chapter and thought I would do a Critical Role styled explanation! I hope you guys like it!

Chapter 1: Modern Literature

“Dying in LA” By Panic! At the Disco

“Every face along the boulevard is a dreamer just like you./ You looked at death in a tarot card and you saw what you had to do.”

What can I say, this song has always screamed Mollymauk to me, especially these two lines in the pre-chorus. Beware takes place in LA, so the title is just that much more accurate. In this first chapter and for most of the story, Molly keeps drawing the same three cards from his deck, the Fool, the Devil, and Death. He is literally looking at death in a tarot card. This is him trying to find his way, trying to gleam where he’s supposed to go from here. Luckily, he finds his way.

Chapter 2: A Show of Scrutiny

“I Put a Spell on You” By Screamin Jay Hawkins

Enter magic awkward dude! This chapter deals mostly with the aftermath of Molly finding out holy shit, magic is real. I chose this version of the Nina Simone version simply because I wanted to capture the frantic, scream argument part of this chapter. This version has Jay Hawkins literally just screeching into the mic, and if that doesn’t sum up Molly’s mood for this chapter, I don’t know what does. Bonus, it's a love song, and this is where the seeds are planted. Love is in the air, but mostly panic and magic!

Chapter 3: Lost and Found

“Junkie Church” By AJJ

“Last week I saw you at the junkie church/ you told me all the things I need to hear/ like I’ve got a heart of gold/ and a kind and open soul.”

This is one of my favorite chapters in the entire piece. I love to put in little lunar interludes of sorts between the big stuff, and this really was that at its best. In this chapter, we get a bit of insight into Caleb’s past, but not nearly the entirely. We also get a tarot reading from Molly to Caleb that somehow managed to give Caleb’s fucking terrible story positivity. Con men really are in the business of telling people what they want to hear. Molly made it his business to tell Caleb pretty things. He’s very good at that.

Chapter 4: Shadows

“Wilson (Expensive Mistakes)” By Fall Out Boy

“I hope the roof flies off and we get blown out into space/ I always make such expensive mistakes.”

You know my emo ass had to throw in some Fall Out Boy. Really, everything that they do in this chapter is mistakes. This is where shit gets bad. So many bad choices were made from Caleb giving Molly the necklace to letting the entire group into the haunted house. It had to end in a possession. Plus, I need some sick guitar riffs to get into a fight scene.

Chapter 5: Passed Through Fire

“Holy Calamity [Bear Witness II]” By Handsome Boy Modeling School

Did I say that I needed sick guitar riffs for a fight? I’m so sorry, I meant that I needed classics of the hip hop scene blowing out my speakers. This song just captures the absolute chaos of what the fuck is happening in the chapter. Shit gets crazy from the moment that the song begins, and this chapter’s contents are enough to have you screaming “Holy Calamity!” from beginning to end

Chapter 6: Reunions

“Safe in my Garden” By The Mamas & The Papas

This really is the quintessential Caduceus song to me. Really, the idea of him bopping to The Mamas & The Papas is such a lovely one. This song just reminds me of the Blooming Grove, the smooth, sweet sound, the very name just feels like the Grove. And here we get to see everybody coming to Caduceus for help and for protection. They’re all safe in his garden.

Chapter 7: What Lies Beneath the Surface

“Zombies” By Childish Gambino

“You will find/ there is no safe place/ to hide.”

Zombies! I mean, really, there was no better song for this chapter. If I was going to do a chapter about the undead, I had to throw Gambino in there. This whole album could be the soundtrack for this story, but this one especially. This chapter completely negates the safety of the last, completely ruins the safe garden that Caduceus maintains. It's a wrench in the plan and it’s a song that sounds so different from any other on the playlist, that its a wrench in the sound.

Chapter 8: Omens

“Nausea” By Jeff Rosenstock

“I got so tired of discussing my future/ I started avoiding the people I love./ Evening of silence and morning of nausea/ Shake and sweat and I can’t throw up/ I got so tired of discussing my future/ That I walk through my life like I'm the only one”

Caleb has a really hard time communicating what he wants to other people. He also has a hard time talking about his future, since he hasn’t really planned on having one since the academy. It's hard for him not to push people away, but Molly is stubborn and he isn’t willing to let Caleb push people out of his life.

Chapter 9: Strange Bedfellows

“I’ve Got Problems” By Harley Poe

“Talking to myself again/ About how I'll never win/ I look into the mirror/ And that's how my day begins/ I wonder when did all this black fill up my mind/ Well I don't shower/ I'm a slob/ I've gone years without a job/ And I can't seem to keep my hands out of my pants and off my knob/ Because the perversions in my head are of the sickest kind”

What can I say? Caleb’s got problems. Like, big time problems. He’s one fucked up shit. Just as “Safe in my Garden” is the quintessential Caduceus song, this is the quintessential Caleb song. I really could put the entire song in quotations because it is perfect. He’s trying his best here to convince Molly that he is FUBAR and honestly? It kind of works. He’s a fucked up guy who does fucked up things, and there’s very little that either of them can do about it.

Chapter 10: Dangerous Liasons

“Would you Be So Kind” By dodie

Caleb and Molly have been hinting at romance for the entire piece, but this is where it really starts to bloom. Molly expressed how serious he is about this, and tells Caleb that whenever he’s ready, Molly’s there. Molly is baring his soul in a way he hasn’t to anybody before. He’s trusting Caleb in a way he hasn’t with anybody. It's scary and he’s afraid to fuck it up, and all he can do right now is ask Caleb “could you maybe fall in love with me?”

Chapter 11: Crimson Deplomacy

“Devil’s Haircut” By Beck

Molly’s worst fucking nightmare; finding out what exactly is in his head. It turns out that it's Lucien. It's his worst case scenario. Getting real, concrete answers to his past that he never once asked for. And it only means bad things on the way. There’s something decidedly evil in his mind and he’s stuck. All he can do is hope that he’ll be okay. Plus, what a use of the kazoo.

Chapter 12: At Dawn, We Plan!

“Bad Moon Rising” By Creedence Clearwater Revival

This song is cursed and so is this chapter. It's all about bad tidings and warnings, an omen of bad things on the rise. Although this chapter is relatively tame, there is a permeating sense of unease. Molly knows that this is going to go badly. He knows that something horrible is about to happen. And there is absolutely nothing that he can do about it. There’s a bad moon on the rise, and Molly’s going to have to face it.

Chapter 13: Found and Lost

“Through The Roof N’ Underground (feat. Eugene Hütz)” By Gogol Bordello

“When there's a trap set up for you/ In every corner of this town/ And so you learn the only way to go is underground/ When there's a trap set up for you/ In every corner of your room/ And so you learn the only way to go is through the roof”

Taliesin said it himself, Molly was always going to end with this song. This whole chapter is a fucking disaster. Molly “dies,” Lucien comes back, Lucien “dies,” there’s a lot of our favorite Bloodhunter biting the dust. Molly is doomed the second that that demon enters the room, and so he makes his way underground. Lucien is dragged up by his teeth from the inside of himself, and he goes straight through the roof. I’ve really found a love for this song and the intense, falling to pieces nature of it. By the end of it, the instrumentals and vocals fall out of sync and fade into nothing, just like Molly.

Chapter 14: Epilouge: The Chapter Closes

“Safety Song” By Andrea Gibson

“I was walking home in the red night zone/ I had a pair of flowers/ you had pegs on the back of your bike/ it was almost the morning hour/ I said come with me to the carnival/ we can sneak in when the power goes out/ we can sit real still in the bumper carts/ and see what it's all about to be safe/ from the crashing day/ we can be safe from everything/ you caught my eye in the funhouse mirror/ you look so pretty even like that/ you held my hand while I held my tongue/ and blushed beneath my baseball cap/ you said we've all got monsters under our bed and under our skin as well/ we can hold them in the corners of our little shame or bring them to show and tell/ just know your safe to tell me anything/ you are so safe to tell me anything/ lying in the grass by the ferris wheel/ I saw a train i knew we could catch so/ we ran through the streets and the parking lot/ and we caught that train as we caught our breath and we rode through the hills and the silo fields/ I knew my heart had no fire escape/ but I stood in your lightning like a sycamore tree/ love is a risk you have to take I feel safe to risk everything/ I feel safe to risk everything”

Finally, finally Molly has made it. After several months of recovery, plenty of therapy, and lots of soul searching, he’s able to breathe. This entire story has felt suffocating for me. I believe that Molly’s arc would have been an extremely painful and cathartic one to watch, so I thought that I would make something similar. This song is slow and sweet and tenuous. For a story that goes so hard for so long, I wanted to slow it down at the end and deliver something sweet. This is where Caleb and Molly decide to risk it, amnesia and trauma be damned, because love is a risk, but it's one that they have to take. And he’s safe. Finally safe.

#beware beware #from the bell jar #molly #mollymauk tealeaf #caleb widogast #playlist #molly playlist

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