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#im @ing the obvious person too
therianimal · 7 months
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I've recently discovered that psychosis most likely plays a primary role in the formation of our system members - and honestly plays a part in our alterhumanity in general. I'm so grateful to the openly psychotic alterhumans, endels and the like on tumblr - without you all this would be a MUCH larger crisis for me.
There's a societal narrative of both "psychotic experiences are sick and therefore shouldn't be encouraged" and "psychotic people are delusional, therefore their experiences aren't real." Perhaps these statements, phrased in a less stigmatizing way, CAN be true for some people's experiences.
But I appreciate y'all on here saying "I'm psychotic AND my experiences are real to me. I'm psychotic AND my experiences matter. I'm psychotic AND I'm plural/nonhuman/fictional/etc." Months of seeing that perspective is helping SO much in holding back my self-doubt and self-rejection.
So to psychotic alterhumans: Thank you for having the courage to go against the grain in a community(s) that historically denied and neglected psychotic experiences. So much of my perspective on my own life and identity is defined and positively affected by you.
( @strawberrybabydog )
24 notes · View notes
highvern · 1 month
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Between the Titles
Pairing: Min Yoongi x fem!reader
Genre: fluff, smut (mature/18+)
warnings: egregious caffeine consumption, yoongi smokes cigarettes, reader is about the same height as yoongi (its me hello im almost the same height as him), gay taehyung, volunteer jungkook, silver fox yoongi (he just has some gray hair bc hot) smut warnings: making out, grinding, fingering, oral (f. receiving), semi-public sexual acts, bathroom sex, protected sex, praise kink
Length: ~9.5k
Note: no thoughts, just big brain yoongi in a sweater smoking cigarettes and drinking coffee. btw almost all the books in this are real but i haven't read them so if you have lmk if they're worth the read lmao. thank u to my dearest @gyuswhore and @idyllic-ghost for beta-ing this
Summary: Five days a week in the library means you're very familiar with the senior research librarian. It also means he has no qualms about making his own book recommendations either.
m.list + support my work
This blog is intended for 18+ only! Minors/blank blogs will be blocked.
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The sweet aroma of old books and strong coffee infiltrates your nose as the heavy doors into the library swing open, offering reprieve from the storm raging on outside. It’s far too early for anyone to be here beyond staff and a few other morning birds. You glide right to the circulation desk as if fatigue doesn’t pulse through your veins, barely quelled by the second cup of coffee you sip from.
As always, the same familiar head of dark hair with sparse silver streaks waits at the circulation desk. He’s the only person working this early despite being the senior research librarian but you never hear any complaints louder than muttered annoyance under his breath when he thinks no one is around to hear. Bent over his laptop, Yoongi doesn’t even bother to look up as he slides a heavy stack of books to the edge of the counter. 
Eleven total, ten heavy volumes on ancient fertility cults across the globe, and one book you know he’s mixed in for his own amusement. 
It’s become something of a game between you two. At first you thought he was mixing your materials with someone else’s, but every time you brought the additional copy back to his desk, Yoongi insisted he had no idea what you were talking about and questioned your reading choices. Each time the titles got more ridiculous: Castration: The Advantages and the Disadvantages, How to Enjoy Your Weeds, Amish Vampires in Space, the list goes on and on. But after he slipped Why Fish Don’t Exist into your stack a few weeks ago, you decided to start responding. 
You left the stack at his desk like usual, ears perked for his reaction to Fishes I Have Known. An amused snort rang out just as you opened the doors to leave for the afternoon. The sound was so unlike the stoic man you’d become accustomed to over months working on your thesis; not that you heard him talk much to begin with.
Since then you’ve made a point to match every book he leaves for you. Yesterday, Yoongi chose I Could Pee on This: and Other Poems by Cats. At the end of the day, you spent thirty minutes searching shelf after shelf for an appropriate response, every book failing to meet your expectations. It wasn’t fair he knew the expansive collection like the back of his hand but nevertheless you found something up to par.
Yoongi rolled his eyes when you passed your books over the counter, a copy of Staying Dry: A Practical Guide to Bladder Control, like a shining star on top. A brief pink of his tongue flashed across his lips, a feeble attempt to muffle an amused smile. It was the most obvious reaction since the first time you responded.
Smiling like the cat who ate the canary, you left on clouds last night.
But this morning you have notes to write.
Snagging the collection, you make your way deeper into the building. Your unassigned-assigned desk tucked away on the fifth floor, far enough away from any noise so you can fully immerse in work without the threat of distraction. An uninterrupted view of the courtyard below is an added bonus.
The wooden table top is covered in a neat collection of pens and sticky notes in minutes; your laptop and the foot tall collection of references you devour over the next eight hours taking up the other half.
A few titles you request over and over sit on top, too valuable to be checked out for long term use so you settle for keeping them in constant rotation since no one else bothers to read the dusty yellowing tombs. For now, you focus on the new pieces you hope hold the information you need.
Earth rites: fertility practices in pre-industrial Britain, Archaeology and Fertility Cults in the Ancient Mediterranean, Metamorphosis of Baubo: myths of woman's sexual energy— 
I’m in Love with Mothman…
Well there it is.
You thumb across the glossy cartoon cover, failing to bite back a smile. Yoongi has a penchant for tossing in the most outlandish romance books he can find. Maybe because he knows you spend just as much if not more time than he does between the stacks. The suggestion box at the desk was full of cards stained with your penmanship asking for longer hours; several of which you’ve seen Yoongi rip in half as he pointedly met your gaze.
Tossing it aside, you pull forward one of the more musty books and start reading.
When you finally manage to resurface from laborious tales on several cults of Aphrodite, the rain is long gone. Even the darkest corners of the old building seem to glow gold in the evening sunset filtering through the glass doors. They're the only thing standing between you and freedom in the form curling up on your couch with a glass of wine and a new episode of your favorite reality dating show. But first, Yoongi needs his books back. 
His desk chair is abandoned and the return cart is gone as well which means he could be anywhere in the building. Disappointment leaches into your spine at the fact you won’t be able to witness his reaction to the twelfth book in your pile; the one you spent an extra fifteen minutes looking for in the corner of the third floor. 
A thick piece of library paper lists the materials you’ll need for the next day lays atop the neon green cover of Pest Management Solutions: How to Manage Your Moth Problem. They decorate the corner of the desk until Yoongi returns to find them. Hopefully he appreciates your humor.
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Yoongi isn’t at his desk the next morning when you come in either. Instead, a doe eyed man with a lip piercing occupies the chair, clearly playing some game on his laptop. 
Approaching the counter, you begin to ask, “Where’s Yoon–”
“Staff meeting,” he interjects like he’s already answered the question a million times despite the library opening only five minutes ago. The white of his teeth threaten to blind you. “But I can help you!”
His name tag isn’t the same engraved golden metal Yoongi’s is, it’s a plastic sleeve with a paper insert with barely legible handwriting you decipher as  “Jungkook” and below “Volunteer.” You’ve seen him before from a distance. Usually trudging through the shelves with the book return cart in tow, occasionally taking a quick read inside before putting them in their rightful place. 
“I need to pick up some books. I gave Yoongi the list yesterday.”
“Sure.” Jungkook jumps up, approaching the shelf lined with piles for other patrons. “What’s your last name?”
He combs through the list after you answer, finding your stack easily enough. 
“Alright so Yoongi left a note that the encyclopedias you wanted are on the usual desk you have upstairs. But other than that I’ve got: Historical Studies of Changing Fertility, Sacred Mushroom and The Cross, Archaeology and Fertility Cults in The Ancient Mediterranean…” Jungkook lists off the titles, checking to make sure they're all in order. “And, um, this one isn’t on the list.”
It must be Yoongi’s choice for the day.
“What is it?”
Jungkook looks like he’s trying to hide his own amusement as he slides it over for you to read.
If I Were a Bird, You'd be The First Person I'd Shit On.
“Huh,” you blush. “Wonder how that got in there.”
“He must have left it by mistake. I can put it ba–”
“No, I’ll take it.” You toss it on top of the other, less embarrassing books in your stack and gather it into your arms before Jungkook can get in another word. “Thanks for your help!”
Scurrying towards the hallway housing the elevators, you attempt to juggle the pile of books, your stuffed bag, and coffee without taking a spill. It’s one thing to have your silent battle with Yoongi, but having someone else witness it makes you feel downright silly. And for the first one witnessed by others to be such an absurd and downright passive aggressive selection sends embarrassment through your veins.
As promised, three encyclopedias sit neatly on your desk; the volumes so thick they protrude from the table top like a small mountain. No wonder he left them there instead of making you carry them up in individual trips. But Yoongi’s goodwill clearly ended there. A sticky note on top of the stack pens his discontent at your selection.
I had to spend 3 hours in the basement to find these. If you need them again, don’t.
Even though he hadn’t signed it, you know it’s from him. The tight script fits his personality; thin lines of annoyance bleeding through the ink, not just his words. A waft of musty old paper and dust breezes through your nose as you open the first copy. They must have been housed in a forgotten storage area. At least his bird book makes more sense now. 
You don’t dig into the heap until after the sun is halfway through the sky but when you do it only proves to unravel your wits. Reading on, the wrinkle in your eyebrows deepens further. Page after page of conflicting knowledge passes by, each sentence more confusing than the last; minutes negating months of research. The thick pages hardly provide a soft landing for your head as you allow it to thump forward in exasperation.
The scrap of chair legs alerts to a new presence watching your meltdown in real time.
“Something wrong?” Yoongi asks.
With a heavy sigh, you respond.“I want to die.”
“Get in line.”
Shifting in your seat, you peer in his direction. A different day but the same wardrobe: dark button up, glasses, same unapproachable facade. But what Yoongi is doing sitting next to you is new.
Yoongi makes himself comfortable, picking at his nails as he waits patiently for an explanation. 
“Everything in my thesis is either wrong or the world authority on fertility in Europe is full of it.”
“Bummer.”
“Your sincerity is overwhelming.” You snap.
Yoongi rolls his eyes. Boredom seeps across his face but he doesn’t move to leave, just sinks deeper into the chair. “You’ve read almost half the collection since you started coming here, why are some old dusty books such a big deal?”
“Because all of those books cite these books which means those books are wrong and all my work is in the toilet.”
“Those books are from the seventies, the information is probably out of date.”
Slamming the copy serving as a pillow shut, you take a second glance at the title: Encyclopedia of Women and World Religion, Volume 7.
“Yoongi,” you sing.
Yoongi’s gaze flashes to yours, a trickle of confusion flashing across his eyes.“What?”
You stack up the books and push them across the desk with some effort. Just to savor the satisfaction of besting Yoongi, you indulge a long sip of now cold coffee before speaking again. No one else is around to witness your victory but that won’t dampen the high.
“Looks like you’ll be back in the basement because you brought me the wrong editions.”
He opens his mouth to argue, snatching one of the books to investigate but you beat him to the punch.
“I asked for the twenty-fifth edition, not the seventh.” You smirk. “I think you're losing your touch.”
He watches you over the rim of the cover. A fleeting glance in your direction but it makes your heart squeeze with need.
“Well, I guess you’re right,” Yoongi sighs, standing. “Do you still need them for anything or can I go ahead and take them?”
With your approval, he heaves the heavy tombs on to his cart. The strain of his forearms, bare from rolled up sleeves, catches your attention. Veins raised under creamy skin, lean muscles leading down to hands you’ve noticed since the first day you started visiting the library.
If you keep staring, you’re likely to start drooling. So you dive back into one of the useful books littering your desk and pretend to read until he’s disappearing down the hall.
On your way out, leaving much earlier than a typical day due to Yoongi’s mistake, you drop the remaining books off at the circulation desk. Along with a copy of Avian Hunting Techniques. He’s absent again but it doesn't matter.
You continue out the doors and down the sidewalk only to spot him leaning against the brick exterior further down the street. Even from a distance you can make out the natural scowl he’s constantly sporting. Except this time his lips pout around a cigarette. 
Of course he smokes.
The quasi-mysterious librarian who flirts with you through book titles, smokes cigarettes and looks hot doing it. 
“You know those things will kill you, right?” 
“That’s what the box says but they aren’t holding up their end of the deal,” Yoongi responds, flicking the ash before looking at his watch. “Wow, out before six. I’ll alert the press.”
���Well, if someone gave me the right books then maybe I’d stay longer. But I’m not about to wait around while you get the ones I need.”
Yoongi takes another drag of his cigarette before responding, “Are you trying to say I forced you to take a break?”
The realization dawns on you. Yoongi is the senior research librarian. He’s never given you the wrong books, even when you request the rare copies needed to be loaned from a different part of the country. The few times you’ve offered understanding if he couldn’t get them were met with a challenge in his gaze and smug satisfaction when handing them over a week later.
“You brought me the wrong copies on purpose!”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He’s lying. You know it. Yoongi definitely knows you know by the way he smirks. But he’s already crushing the filter under his shoe and moving back towards the library by the time your brain catches up to your mouth.  “Have a good night, Y/N.”
With a scoff of indignation, you stalk towards your car.
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The next morning, you march straight through the class doors to where Yoongi sits, fueled by snowballed annoyance from the previous day. Waking up on the wrong side of the bed is an understatement. If there are any gods, Yoongi should pick one and pray.
Your free afternoon of yesterday was spent dealing with the chaos your apartment has become over the past few weeks. Unfolded laundry, stacks of random papers, out of place books, and errant dust bunnies all became new victims to energy usually reserved for a full day of research. Taehyung practically shit himself when he woke up before dinner and found you scrubbing the bathroom sink.
“What are you doing here?” he asked, hand to his chest like a flustered old woman.
Bleach curled in your nostrils. “I live here.” 
“Not between the hours of eight and seven.”
But after the mess was dealt with, aggravation set in. How dare Yoongi purposefully meddle in your work. Well meaning or not you were an adult and could decide when enough was enough. The purposeful mishap hadn’t set you back far, one afternoon but a drop in the bucket in comparison to the months you’ve already spent chasing new leads. But the principle of the matter is that it’s none of his business what you do and when you do it.
Yoongi slides a slimmer stack over when you stop in front of him.
“Encyclopedias are on your desk,” he announces through a sip of coffee. He continues to type away, feigning disinterest as you sort through your stack with measured annoyance.
“Are they the right copies this time?”
“Double checked them myself.”
You open your mouth to verbalize your doubts but Yoongi’s pick of the day catches your eye.
Surviving Your Stupid Stupid Decision to Go to Grad School.
Scoffing, you flip the book around and shoot daggers into his face with your eyes. “Do you think you’re funny?”
The corner of his mouth twitches then becomes a full blown smile. Leaning over the desk, he drops his voice, “I think I’m hilarious.”
Remembering you are, in fact, in a library, you manage to muffle a frustrated groan. You dump the supplementary reading back on the counter for Yoongi to deal with and head upstairs. 
Unlike the usual days where you put off finding a response to Yoongi’s extra copy until the waning hours of the afternoon, you drop your bags and head straight for the shelves. The fifth floor houses a collection of textbooks and other reference material. It’s why it's always deserted unless some poor fool stumbles on it by accident; the perfect place to work uninterrupted for hours.
You head down stairs, circling the fourth and then third floor like a shark in a feeding frenzy. A few covers spark interest but nothing captures what bubbles in your veins: annoyance, anger, confusion. A brief flutter of interest as to why Yoongi decided to mess with you but those feelings are more dangerous than the acidic ones.
Row after proves unfruitful in your quest for passive aggressive revenge. None have the same bite as his book, or seem to curb the homicidal thoughts raging in your head.
Until a little white book peeps back at you from the end of the aisle.
Yoongi jumps when you slam Bitter Is the New Black: Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smartass in front of him. A feat in and of itself to sneak up on him given the loan desk has a perfect view of the entire first floor but whatever he’d been clicking away at on the computer was distraction enough.
“What's this?”
“Thought you might like some new reading.” You flash your teeth.
His chin jerks towards the glossy cover. “I already gave this two stars on Goodreads.”
Of course he has.
Face prickling in embarrassment, you turn back the way you came without a word.
Hours later, when half the day has ticked by and the ache for more caffeine burns your eyes, Yoongi stops by your desk. He doesn’t speak, doesn’t try and gain the attention you pointedly withhold. He sets a paper coffee cup on the corner of the tabletop and leaves.
You snatch up the cup after he rounds the corner out of sight. The lack of sugar leaves much to be desired but free coffee is free coffee, especially to a PhD student with limited means. 
It isn’t much of an apology but guilt blooms down your spine anyway. He meant well. You aren’t known for giving yourself breaks; unable to quit while you’re ahead. A voluntary day off is less likely than winning the lottery. You’re a busy body and the constant work keeps you from dissolving into chaos.
You don’t see Yoongi again until every book at your desk is exhausted, begging for a break from your manhandling. Double and triple checking notes and citations are the poor excuse you implement to delay the inevitable. At some point you’ll have to go downstairs to face the music. 
He’s waiting like always, scanning the mountain of returns littering the counter from a long day. Each step closer withers something in your stomach. 
The copies in your hand shift onto the wooden surface, joining the stack for him to work through. Yoongi flashes a polite grimace when you catch his eye before immediately diving back into his work. Hopefully he understands why you chose Thank You for Smoking. And why you covered the second half of the title with a sticky note.
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Jungkook’s smiling face greets you bright and early. His name tag has been upgraded from flimsy paper to a plastic one and a printed label with his name. 
Handing over your library card, he quickly scans it and grabs the books meant for today’s dissection. 
“Yoongi wanted me to tell you that if you want more coffee while you’re working, you can go to the staff lounge on the second floor.”
“Oh.”
Jungkook continues sifting through your requests, making sure each is correct.  “Between you and me, the coffee down the street is better. But don’t tell him I said that.”
“Why?”
“Because he’s a coffee snob and thinks his shit—sorry—stuff is the best.”
“Okay,” you say, grabbing your pile. “Thanks.”
You set up your station like always, sorting through each book and devising a mental to do list. The desk resembles a feast but instead of food it’s encyclopedias, printed articles, and dusty manuscripts Yoongi wrangled from who knows where. On the outer board of your work station rests the feature of the day: How to Beg for Cigarettes.
A few hours pass between the pages. Your previous research is confirmed by the significantly less dusty encyclopedias this time, corroborating the basis of your thesis. A new work you haven’t seen is cited in the back, piquing your interest for more evidence. 
Instead of bothering one of the staff, you use the library website and find it in their catalog. It’s somewhere on the second floor where Yoongi offers free coffee. Two birds, one stone; a new book and a new cup of coffee.
The layout resembles all the other floors. A collection of study tables in the center crowded by bookshelves on all sides. One person, an undergrad by the look of pure dread on their features, occupies a table but that's it. Glancing at the note with the call number, you start towards the stacks on the left.
You find the correct area, eyes scanning up and down the different shelves to no avail. Hundreds of books, different sizes in an array of colors, flash by but none are the one you need. You’re about to call it quits when you spot it on the top shelf, just out of reach.
Call it a moment of stupidity, a brief blight of recklessness, but the book sits only a few inches beyond your fingers. You look around to make sure no one is around to witness the brilliantly flawed idea crest in your brain. With the coast clear, you hoist yourself up the shelf.
A deadpan voice nearly makes you fall.
“Looking for something?” 
Yoongi stands a few feet away, head cocked to the side. Of course he’d find you in such a ridiculous position. Even through the blur of your peripheral vision, the harsh lines of his usual uniform clashes against the back drop of books. Dark jeans fitted over his thighs, dark button down rolled up his arms, and a pair of glasses that make him look hot. But you’re in no position to dwell when the risk of falling on your ass is so high.
“Nope, just getting in some exercise” you grunt, moving your foot to the shallow hold of the next shelf.
Yoongi moseys up behind you before continuing. “And climbing a decades old bookshelf is how you stretch your legs?”
“You smoke cigarettes, I climb old furniture. We all have our vices.”
Your foot slips from its perch, making you squeak before catching your balance. 
“Alright spider-monkey, that's enough.” His hands slide across your hip, fingers curved around the softest part of your waist as he helps you down. 
Distracted by the weight of him still on your hip, the heat of his chest a scorching across your back, you don’t even think to disparage him for the cheap Twilight reference. The few inches Yoongi has on you allows him to reach overhead to snag the copy you need with ease. But as you watch his hands close around the spine everything beyond fades to black; like the universe pinholes where you two stand.
“This one?” You feel the vibration of his words up and down your spine, warm breath tracing across the shell of your ear.
Body on autopilot, you turn to face Yoongi. His mouth moves, eyes scanning the book cover but every word deafens in a muddy haze. He doesn’t seem to realize his hand is still on your waist, or how he crowds you into the shelves; chest to chest, stomachs barely an inch apart.
“Huh?” you ask, tearing your eyes away from his mouth.
“I said, if you asked for this book earlier I could have gotten it for you.”
“Oh.”
“You okay?” he asks, stepping further into you. “You look a little flushed.”
The bastard smiles. A God’s honest smile like his thigh isn’t between your own, or he isn’t waiting for a reply while his fingers dig in beneath your ribs.
Just when you open your mouth to say something, Yoongi silences you with a firm squeeze of his hand. His head lowers until his breath ghosts along your chin. 
Then you’re kissing; lips sliding together easily like he anticipated it. The world shatters all around from just a few passes of his mouth across your own, the weight of his body flattening you against the bookshelf. 
The first hint of his tongue against the seam of your lips makes you gasp and Yoongi takes the opportunity to taste you. You melt under his attention. Head tipping back, shoulders bowing to take more, your senses flood with the remnants of coffee and something else; something so quintessential Yoongi your head spins. It lights a new flame in your veins, one burning with pure want.
A handful of his shirt pulls him closer. Yoongi follows easily but gets more than asked for when one of your hands tangles in the back of his hair, tugging until he’s tilting his chin the way you want. It’s a bad habit other dates have subtly complained about but a noise bubbles in his throat at the dig of your nails; responding with his own palm squeezing roughly across your ass until your hips meet his. 
The crash of the book near your feet is like a bucket of ice water.
“Oh my god,” you gasp. Jumping back proves futile as the shelf digs further into your spine. “I–”
Puffy lips and lowered eyes stare back at you, clear evidence that you haven’t hallucinated what just happened. Yoongi dips down to kiss you again but you slither out of his grip.
Forgetting the book on the tiled floor, you mumble an apology and flee back upstairs, beelining to the vacant restroom.
To your own mortification, your features mirror Yoongi’s; lips swollen, eyes glazed. Your sweater twisted around your torso clearly betraying your rendezvous in the stacks. Beads of sweat cling to your forehead and neck.
A few splashes of cold water help clear the fog in your brain but as it dissipates embarrassment sets in. Making out with a handsome man is one thing. Making out with the librarian assisting in the most important work of your life is an entirely different ordeal; one that can only spell trouble.
Pacing back and forth, the cool paper towel on the back of your neck helps calm your racing heart enough to leave the safety of the ladies room.
Try as you might to drown under piles of books, it’s useless. You pretend to read the same passages over and over but none of the words register. The kiss replays over and over and over again. You kissed Yoongi. Yoongi kissed you back. He tried to kiss you again when you pulled away.
The end of the day inevitably comes which means you have to face him whether you want to or not. But you won’t allow a single lapse of judgment to affect your work; a moment of weakness propelled by months of abstinence that just so happened to coincide with a surly librarian’s entrance into your life. You just needed to get it out of your system. If it hadn’t been Yoongi it would have been someone else. 
At least that’s what you tell yourself.
A glance at your watch informs you that today is the second day you’ll leave the library early. Rather than give into the stubborn instinct to stay, you decide putting as much distance between yourself and Yoongi is far better for your mental health. With squared shoulders and a raised chin, you head downstairs. 
Yoongi’s waiting behind the counter. He isn’t typing on his computer or scanning books. He watches every step you take, arms crossed in front as he leans forward like he’s eager for a confrontation. 
“Yoongi,” you say.
“Y/N.”
You use every fiber of will to maintain eye contact as you pass your stack over the counter. “I’ll need these same ones tomorrow.”
“Okay.” He nods. “And the kiss?”
“What kiss?” you croak.
Yoongi’s eyes blaze like you’re a new puzzle to be solved, like he wants to take you apart and find exactly what makes you tick. You feel naked. “The one where you—”
“Must have been someone else. Sorry. Have a good night!” You rush for the door before he can say another word.
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Another morning is another day in the library, but this time your roommate begs to tag along. 
“Look, I’m not getting anything done on my thesis so maybe you’ll rub off on me,” Taehyung says.
Rolling your eyes, you step through the door he holds open. “I think you’ve had plenty of people rub off on you.”
Gasping with fake indignation, he catches up easily. “Are you calling me a slut?” 
“Yes.”
“Good, I wanted to make sure we were on the same page. Is that him?”
Yoongi and Jungkook are talking behind the counter. Jungkook’s hands wave wildly as he recounts whatever information to his boss while Yoongi listens with fake interest. Or that's what someone else might think. The subtle signs he cares are hidden in the details; the miniscule lift of shoulders, a cock of his head, and when Jungkook pouts in a way too ridiculous for a man his size, Yoongi hides a smile in the shake of his head.
“Yes.”
“And I’m the slut?” Taehyung scowls as you pinch his shoulder. “What? He’s a nerd’s walking wet dream.” 
“And he can hear you, so shut up.”
“Morning!” Jungkook calls on his way past with a cart full of books. 
He grins like he knows exactly what happened on the second floor yesterday but that can’t be true. Yoongi doesn’t seem like the type to kiss and tell. Only the type to kiss and tease you relentlessly for it when no one else is around to hear.
Taehyung’s attention immediately locks on him. You love your roommate, always have and, unfortunately, always will; but he is a slut and Jungkook is definitely his type. However, he’s on your turf and knows better than to fuck where you have to eat for the next few months. 
“Y/N, Y/N’s friend,” Yoongi says when you approach his desk. 
“Taehyung.” 
“Right,” Yoongi drawls, blinking lazily before sliding your books over and turning around to sort something on the opposite counter.
Taehyung, ever the gentleman, grabs the pile for you and follows upstairs. 
“Well he seems like a cup of sunshine,” Taehyung whispers. 
“Just because he isn’t fawning over you doesn’t mean he’s an asshole.”
“I’m very fawn-able, ask anyone,” your roommate argues as you approach the fifth floor. “Wait, what's this… How to Defeat Your Own Clone and Other Tips for Surviving the Biotech Revolution. This is the type of shit he’s giving you? You’re easier than I am.”
“Give me that.” You snatch the paperback out of his grip. “Stop being nosy.”
Taehyung lets you work in peace after that, disappearing to gather more of his own materials. Even in undergrad he’d never been one to sit still for long. But he still managed to get a spot doing an engineering thesis despite the constant changes in his attention.
After several hours of mind numbing typing you need a break, and another cup of coffee on someone else’s dime sounds perfect.
“I’m getting coffee.”
“Bring me some,” Taehyung says without looking up from his screen.
The staff lounge is nothing fancy. A couple small tables with plastic chairs tucked around, a cork board covered with fliers, and a white board stuck to the fridge scrawled upon with black dry erase marker. The coffee pot sits full in the machine, still hot to the touch. 
You pour two cups. Taehyung’s gets loaded with creamer cups until it’s closer to white than black while yours is sweetened to sickening perfection. When you try to take a sip, the liquid immediately burns your tongue. Too hot coffee is better than cold coffee but an ice cube would help make it more palatable.
Moving back to the fridge, you go to open the freeze but stop when the white board catches your attention again.
Most notes are chores or friendly reminders about time cards but almost half the board is dedicated to a back and forth.
‘Unofficial Employee of the Month: Jungkook’ 
A note in Yoongi’s tight script: ‘You don’t work here.’
‘That’s why it's unofficial!’ in what must be Jungkook’s messy handwriting.
‘You’re my official employee of the month. - Namjoon’
At the bottom is a crude drawing of stick figures, two tall smiling ones holding hands under a rainbow labeled ‘JK’ and ‘Joon’ and a comically shorter one with evil eyebrows surrounded by storm clouds and ‘yoongi :(’ overhead.
“Snooping for secrets?”
“Jesus Christ,” you jump, turning to face Yoongi. “Has anyone ever told you it’s rude to sneak up on people?”
“You’re in the staff lounge, there’s gonna be staff here.” Yoongi crosses to the coffee pot on the counter and pours himself a cup. He doesn’t add cream or sugar or anything else to lessen the bitterness. Cliche. “So, was bringing your boyfriend here your subtle way of letting me down?”
“You think Taehyung is my boyfriend?” You whirl around in shock. Yoongi raises a brow, prompting you to continue. “Jungkook is more his type than I am.”
Yoongi releases a pleased hum, eyes shining. “So no boyfriend then?”
“Nope.”
You’re shaking but don’t look away from his hungry gaze. Yoongi takes a step closer, and another and one more until you're pinned to the countertop and his mouth is on yours. 
This time, you're more aware of everything. The smell of his cologne, the tickle of his bangs along your forehead, all the tiny details that were muffled before. Yoongi’s lips are firm against your own, a little chapped but it only makes you hotter with each pass.
His mouth is everywhere; your chin, your jaw, peppering down your throat until he pushes aside the hem of your shirt and sets to work on the jut of your collarbone like he’ll never get a chance again. 
“Yoongi,” you hum on the first rake of teeth. 
He takes it as an invitation to dig in harder, sucking the skin until your spine threatens to break and you say his name again. Desperate for some kind of anchor, you knot your fingers back in his hair and pull. 
A throaty noise responds and the need to hear more rears its head. Yoongi who always watches with measured fascination undone by some light petting. The power is addictive. 
Legs spread, he presses in flat. The heat of his cock, rigid beneath the fabric of his jeans, teases across the seam of your own. You're technically still in public but the consequences concern you less than the knowledge that you’ll go mad if you don’t feel him. His arms circle your back, pulling you firmer against him, right to the edge of the linoleum counter.
Wedging a hand between your bodies, you manage to get his zipper undone while your tongue traces along his jaw. Yoongi angles his hips to help, curling into your palm when you cup him over the fabric of his boxers. Every press has him swelling harder. 
His hands reach under your shirt. Skin on skin, the rough calluses of his fingers trace your ribs, thumbs following the cup of your bra in a tease. It’s a simple touch but your own hands falter when he brushes a nipple. You melt into each other.
“Hey, Yoongi, do you know where—HOLY SHIT!”
Jungkook stops at the door, eyes wide, mouth wider. 
“Get out!” Yoongi barks. He’s trying his best to keep your body covered from the younger man’s view but even if Jungkook isn’t getting a full frontal he isn’t dumb enough not to realize what’s going on.
Yoongi shudders a few breaths. Head hung low, he tucks himself back into his pants without moving away. You’re already slipping down from your perch when he looks back up.
“I’m just gonna…go,” you mumble, scurrying out the door.
Jungkook waits outside, eyes still bugging out of his head but at least has the decency to pretend he didn’t catch you in the act.
Tugging your shirt down, you avoid his gaze. How far would you have let Yoongi go if Jungkook hadn’t interrupted? 
“Coffee?” Taehyung asks as you approach the table.
You know what you look like without a mirror. The same as yesterday with glassy eyes and bruised lips, clothes wrinkled. Thankfully, Taehyung is more interested in his modeling software than where you’ve been. 
“They were out.” 
With a sigh like he is personally victimized by the lack of caffeine, Taehyung collapses on the table and plays dead. But he perks up at the sound of footsteps approaching behind you.
“You left this in the break room,” Yoongi says, dropping a cup of coffee by your side before disappearing. 
You turn to follow his retreating for until he’s hidden back between the shelves. The back of his hair is still messy despite his attempt to fix it, same with the wrinkles in his shirt from your hands.
“I thought they were out?” Taehyung eyes you suspiciously when you look back at him.
Cradling the still hot cup in your hands, you avoid his gaze. “Shut up.”
“So you do have to sleep with someone to get a cup of coffee.” 
“I’m not sleeping with him,” you spit in a harsh whisper.
“Why not?”
“Because…”
Because what exactly? There isn’t a good reason other than the fact Jungkook was the king of cockblocks. You would have let Yoongi do just about anything he wanted and he seemed to be in agreement. But you’d rather die than admit that out loud.
“You are so smart and so incredibly stupid.” Taehyung rolls his eyes, rising to pack his things. “I need to pee.”
You point him in the direction of the bathrooms and get back to work.
When Taehyung returns minutes later he starts shoving his things in his bag. “I’m leaving.”
“Why?”
“This is like the epicenter of hot smart men and I refuse to suffer any longer.”
“You got Jungkook’s number,” you deadpan.
Taehyung can’t hide his own shit eating grin. “Yoongi gave it to me.”
“If you’re leaving, so am I.”
“Why?” your roommate whines. 
“Because I got you a hot date and that means you owe me dinner.”
“Technically it was Yoongi but I’ll concede.” Taehyung heaves his bag up. “Come now my dearest, we can still get happy hour if we hurry.” 
You reach in your own bag and toss him your keys. “Go wait in the car. I’ve gotta go grab another book real quick.”
“Whatever,” Taehyung says, mumbling something like ‘nerds’ under his breath as he heads downstairs.
You find Yoongi while on your way to his desk, already toting around the cart piled high with returns from the day. Several of the covers are Taehyung’s picks and somehow the knowledge they’ve spoken almost knocks you off kilter. Taehyung is a good wingman and that’s what worries you most.
“Hi,” he says, kneeling to put a book on a low shelf.
It shouldn’t have the effect it does but something about the way Yoongi looks up at you, on his knees, head tipped back, has your mind running wild with the image of him in the same position with both of you wearing far less clothing. Maybe if you weren’t interrupted in the staff lounge you’d have seen it in real life.
“Hi. Mind if I add these to the pile?” 
“Go ahead.”
The Stocking was Hung sits on top. You don’t wait around to see his reaction.
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The temperature had steadily been increasing over the past weeks but this morning is the worst of all. That inescapable warmth fully seeded overnight and promised the comforting days of sweaters and pants are long gone.
Heat makes you lazy and fitful. In the early hours, long before you actually need to be awake, you stare up at the ceiling of your room. Not even a frigid shower helped the stickiness of your skin or laying still in your bed in nothing but one of Taehyung’s shirts and ratty shorts. It followed you everywhere until you left for the same brick building you spend more time at than at home.
Without thought, you throw on the first seasonally appropriate outfit in your closet; a thin dress that covers enough for the public but promises to keep you cool.
Yoongi seems to be taking the change in weather as well as you are. His usual attire is absent, nothing but a white shirt clinging to his torso. The pale skin of his forearms briefly catches your attention but you focus anywhere else to stop from rounding the desk and finishing what started upstairs.
You steel yourself and approach the desk, determined to act normal.
Familiar dark eyes flash up to greet you but Yoongi’s mouth doesn’t form any words. He just stares at you. You can feel the weight of his gaze on your shoulders, your neck, and then he pointedly keeps them trained on your eyes. Like he's willing to pretend yesterday didn’t happen. 
He doesn’t speak when he passes over the same pile of books as yesterday but you can feel him burn a hole in your back. Even after you climb up the stairs and out of sight, the prickling sensation you’re being watched follows.
You don’t get anything done. The words on the page might as well be another language as your mind races.
Yoongi didn’t give you an extra book today.
An endless list of potential explanations race through your mind. Maybe you’d been too forward with your choice. Maybe he’s gotten it out of his system, a quick tryst in the employee lounge enough to satiate his curiosity. Maybe because it’s the second time you’ve brushed him off. Even if it wasn’t your fault Jungkook stumbled in before anything worthwhile could happen. 
But he isn’t speaking to you and he isn’t giving you the random book you’ve come to look forward to every morning. 
Channeling the restless energy of overthinking, you take a lap around the floor. You pause to flip through random books as you zigzag through the stacks. Anything to take your mind off the unshakable tension sticking in the air like syrup.
Your laptop is in sleep mode by the time you reluctantly come back. Everything is as you left except a book you’ve never seen before sits on top of the open one you’d been reading.
There’s a Boy in the Girls’ Bathroom. 
A sticky note sticks up from the inside of the cover. A bolt of excitement shoots down your spine. When you flip it open a familiar handwriting stares back: ‘on the seventh floor’.
You hadn’t been gone too long but the fear of making him wait has you rushing up the stairs. Each step brings you closer to where he waits until you’re opening the bathroom door.
“Yoongi?” 
A hand wraps around your upper arm, yanking you in. Another hand silences a surprised shout before you realize it’s Yoongi and not a murderer pinning you to the interior of the door you just came through.
“Jesus, you scared me.” 
“Sorry,” he breathes. “It’s just not a good look for me to be up here.”
“Oh, really?” You smile. “And why is that?”
“This is my job.”
“Didn’t seem to stop you before.”
“Who says it’s stopping me now?”
He thumbs the strap of your dress, hooking under the thin material and dragging it down your arm. The heat and weight of Yoongi against you, touching you so simply, makes you vibrate. Yoongi moves into your neck, panting with a grind against your thigh. “I swear I don’t usually do this.”
You want to argue that you have two accounts that he does do this often, at least with you. But for someone who says they don’t, Yoongi is surprisingly natural. The tease prickling the end of your tongue fizzles out under his teeth across the curve of your shoulder, goosebumps blossoming along your back. 
A whimper unbecoming of an adult woman breaks the lullaby of summer air conditioner singing through the vents. You’re sweating under the cling of your dress, skin hot to the touch thanks to Yoongi’s attention; long fingers curved around your waist, thumbs skimming just under your breast.
“Could have fooled me.”
“This is a very nice dress.” His mouth bites down your neck, taking advantage of the new strips of skin the neckline unveils.
“That’s all it takes?” you pant from the wet of his tongue. “A pretty dress?”
“If you think,” he whispers into your ear. “I’m doing this because of your dress then you really haven’t been paying attention.”
The dark locks of his hair are too alluring to resist, tempting one of your own hands to scratch against the tip of his spine when Yoongi rolls against you again. A firm tug brings him to your mouth, lips molding to one another in a searing kiss. You can taste the coffee from the lounge and the faintest hint of cigarette smoke, like he thought to hide it before asking you to follow him.
“How long? How long have you wanted this?”
Yoongi hooks one of your thighs higher, savoring the heat of your core against the crotch of his pants with a slow thrust. “Since you came in and busted my balls over not having that archived manuscript when the website said we did.”
You remember that day. Patience thin from Taehyung’s loud overnight guest, you stormed into the library looking to take it out on a photocopy of the manuscript only for the only copy to be AWOL. Yoongi became the surrogate for your rage, his eyes burning into your skull as questioned how he could let it happen.
The next day was when he started adding books to your stack.
“That was months ago.”
“I’m a patient guy.”
You want him naked; ache to catalog what he’s hidden underneath bulky sweaters and loose button ups over the past few months. But that idea has to wait for somewhere less risky. You settle for dipping your hand under his shirt, tracing your fingers over the elastic of his boxers peeking from the waistband of his pants.
Attempting to hide the effect he has, you loop your fingers in his belt loops and pull him even closer so your face is hidden in the crook of his neck. “There’s a Boy in the Girls’ Bathroom? A little on the nose, don’t you think?”
“Like The Stocking was Hung is any better?” Yoongi sighs as your mouth ghosts over the rising vein webbing the side of his throat.
“Hey!” you object, rising to face him. “I thought you’d appreciate it after that mothman book.”
“I appreciate you complimenting my dick plenty.”
Yoongi doesn’t let you go, hands palming at the swell of your ass the entire way from the door to the counter. He’s got one hand curved along your jaw, thumb hooked around your chin and his teeth bruising your lower lip. The edge of granite digs in your spine but not for long as he lifts you and settles on his knees to dive under your skirt. 
He kisses up your calf, tongue snaking across the knob of your knee then the plush of your thigh. Just when you feel a puff of breath against the damp crotch of your panties, Yoongi falls to repeat the same path against your other leg. 
You don’t suffer for long. Pooling the excess fabric around your waist, Yoongi blinks up from between your thighs. The pink of his tongue follows the edge of your panties, wetting the fabric more until it clings obscenely. 
He pushes his glasses up to rest on the top of his head, keeping the mess of gray and black hair out of his eyes before diving back down.
His tongue lathers over your covered slit with a groan. “Taste better than I imagined.”
“You thought about this?”
“Couldn’t stop thinking about it. On my desk, yours, against that fucking bookshelf.” Yoongi punctures each word with more wet kisses against your core. “In my car, my bed. Everywhere.”
A cool breath has your thighs squeezing around his head thanks to the erotic combination of his spit and your own fluids drenching your panties. “Is this all you think about?”
“I had to come up here and jerk off yesterday because I couldn’t stop thinking about your hands.”
Your panties are pulled to the side before you can indulge in the new visual blooming on the edge of consciousness. “Yoongi.”
Eyes closed, his mouth circles your clit, tongue gently stroking you to life. Every pass against the sensitive bundle of nerves has your thighs squeezing around his head. 
The first prod of fingers makes Yoongi’s hold on the crook of your knee tighten. He stretches you back open, eyes following the way you suck him inside; coating his spindly digits with more arousal each time.
“A-ah,” you shake. “Please.”
Yoongi chances a glance up at your face, the needy sheen in your eyes, the way your mouth gapes, and decides to take mercy. 
He latches back onto your clit. Yoongi groans as you tug his hair, knocking his glasses to the ground. The pace he works your remains lethargic, savoring the kick of your hips until you grind against his mouth. 
Throaty groans vibrate against your cunt, tightening the muscles along the inside of your thighs. Neither of you are doing a good job muffling yourselves but if it’s between getting caught and having him stop then you’ll deal with the consequences when they come.
“Oh, Yoongi.” Your chest pulls tight; spurred on by the sounds of Yoongi bullying your insides, his mouth smacking against your folds. “I’m— oh, oh, oh!”
The rough crook of his fingers sends you flying. Only the pressure of his shoulders keep you from slipping off the counter as you explode against his mouth. Euphoria rushes your veins, licks of pleasure overwhelming. Every muscle quivers as Yoongi works you through until you use his hair to pull him away.
He’s quick on his feet. You’re still recovering as Yoongi pushes your bra down and draws one of your nipples into his mouth, licking and sucking until you pull his hair again. Eyes cinched tight, face wet, you force his pants open then his underwear until Yoongi is almost as exposed as you are; pretty in your palm, sticky and hot to the touch.
But it’s not enough to feel him in your hand, you need to feel him inside. To fill you up where you sit hollow and aching without his fingers to provide a sliver of relief. “Fuck me.”
Yoongi doesn’t tease, has no quip about how needy you are. He keeps his mouth on your chest and uses his hands to grab something out of his pocket. It happens so fast you don’t even realize the condom is on until he nudges between your legs.
Your nails dig into his back, breathing through the initial stretch is the only way you stay quiet. Yoongi hides himself back in your neck, strained noises clawing out of his throat.
Yoongi isn’t gentle. Not caution or waiting. Months of push and pull destroy any desire for him to treat you as something fragile. He rushes into desperately, forcing your palm flat against the mirror behind you for some semblance of stability.
“God,” he grunts. “You’re incredible.”
You whimper a quiet acknowledgement, too fucked out to blush under his praise; pulling Yoongi closer until he’s scooping his hands underneath your ass, thrusting into you over and over. His mouth finds yours. Greedy. Hungry. 
It’s Yoongi who struggles to stay quiet. Even through the kiss he moans loud enough you feel it in your throat. You listen to them all, twisting the hand knotted in his hair to hear the whine you’ve quickly become obsessed with.
“Should have done this sooner,” your back arches and Yoongi’s mouth slips back down. 
“I tried. But you kept ignoring me.”
“I wasn’t—fuck—ignoring you.” Yoongi is everywhere. His taste on your mouth, cologne burned in your nose. The feel of him all over your body. “Shit.”
He fucks you harder to prove a point, hand slipping down to rub your clit. Your second orgasm glows on the edges. If Yoongi keeps playing with you, stretching you in half on his cock and biting a mark into your breast, you know you’ll come.
You focus on breathing. Letting it come to you instead of chasing it, overthinking it to the point it evades you. It’s easier than usual. Yoongi doesn't leave room for anything else beyond feeling good. 
“Oh my god,” you whisper as the cord tightens. 
Everything turns white hot, pleasure tearing through your muscles and ripping them to shreds. You convulse in Yoongi’s hold, only pinned down by his hips fucking you brutally. Nerves shot, Yoongi babbles praise in your ear but it's indecipherable from the headrush.
Yoongi follows you over the edge a few strokes later, twitching inside you until he stills. His hips give a few arrhythmic bucks as he fills the condom with his load. 
There's something nastier about clothed sex. The way sweat makes your clothes cling tighter, the rush of needing each other so badly you can’t be bothered to do more than pull things to the side. 
You feel dirty but in a good way. Yoongi kisses across the apples of your cheeks, your chin, your forehead, even your brows, but never returns to your lips. Each leaves you more frustrated than the last, muscles twitching beneath and head turning at the last second to try and meet his mouth. 
Tricking you with a brief connection, he laughs when you chase his lips as he dodgers back. But a pout and whine bring him back into your orbit.
He cleans you up with paper towels, wiping away the mess between your thighs with something akin to disappointment. But he doesn’t complain as he fixes your clothes and then his own. Muscles like jelly, you fall into his side when he helps you down from the counter. 
With a kiss to your temple, “Let's get out of here.”
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“Morning, Yoongi.” You smile as you walk up to his desk.
A set of dark eyes rise to greet you, taking the cup of coffee you so graciously offer before smiling as well. “Good morning.”
Jungkook gawks like he’s never seen you two speak before. Round eyes bounce between you and Yoongi as if it’s a tennis match instead of a normal conversation. Probably because Yoongi was less than subtle when he pulled you out of the building yesterday, telling him to call Namjoon if anything came up.
Or maybe because you’re wearing one of Yoongi’s shirts.
You discovered much about the mysterious librarian overnight. He’d taken you back to his apartment; a perfect extension of himself decorated with dark furniture and more books than anyone could possibly read. Yoongi owned a collection of vinyl records that rivaled his book collection, he was a great cook, and he was studying to take the entrance exam for law school. 
After you were wined and dined, Yoongi dedicated hours between your legs. On his couch, against the massive bookcase in his living room, between the sheets of his bed. 
He also had a kink for eating you out while you explained your thesis in precise detail.
You’d only been allowed to leave when Yoongi was getting ready for work, not that you'd put up much argument. 
You make a scene of sorting through the stack he slides over. It’s not that you don’t trust Yoongi. But now that you’ve had a taste, you’re addicted to his presence. But he unfortunately can’t follow you upstairs so you savor the time now. 
“One of my books is missing,” you say.
“Oh, right.”
Yoongi passes over an unfamiliar copy.
Maybe He Just Likes You
And the blue sticky note attached, with his handwriting. ‘Dinner when you're done?’
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Taglist: @tomodachiii @cvpidyunho @miniseokminnies @ddaengpotate @arycutie @gaebestie @primoppang @gyuguys @mine-gyu @doremifasire @missminhoe @toplinehyunjin @crvs4vldtn @prettygyuuu @sliceofwoozi @dokyeomkyeom @yoonguurt
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2K notes · View notes
kokiriofthevalley · 5 months
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My silly little Link headcannons
hii again I'm very bored rn sooo
again for Zelda, it's only the major ones, sorry obscure link fans
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also wtf is this gif I found 😭😭
Skyward Sword
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✯has the biggest crush on his Zelda bc they're so close
✯like it's VERY obvious how they feel about eachother
✯His fav flavour of ice cream is Oreo ice cream but he also loves toffee and vanilla too
✯He can talk but he prefers sign language (dialect of sign language may vary on preference ((like ASL or BSL or LSE, ect)) ) and talks to save time in an emergency in case the other person may not know sign, but DOES sign if they do
For this one, I thought about the cutscenes where he's explaining something (like the current location or condition of Zelda) to another character and we can see his mouth moving.
✯no because if video games existed in skyloft, i just know that he's playing stardew valley and papas freezeria. I can feel it in my BONES
✯Definitely woke up under his bed once and hit his head on the bedframe
✯him and Groose have insult battles but then they get ice cream together after
Ocarina of Time/Majora's Mask
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✯somebody get this poor boy a therapist and a hug PLEASE
Twilight Princess
✯it felt natural to him when he transformed using the Zora mask in mm, because both the models for adult link and Zora link are the same size
✯mute
✯i think he played the ocarina like a recorder (aka with no experience at all) and did each note individually and the magic of the ocarina of time was probably like "there is NO WAY that I'm letting this kid tarnish my reputation goddamit" and made the songs sound nicer after he had played all the notes
✯forgot once that he was a kid again and walked to Romani ranch to get some chateau Romani and was genuinely surprised when Cremia said no
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✯Had more of a genuine connection to Midna, but still had a friendship with princess Zelda
Wind Waker
✯felt a strange familial connection to the hero of shades when he met him and made link want to find out who the hero of shades was
✯does NOT like how short he is when he transforms into a wolf
✯Best poker face in history
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Breath of the Wild
✯Gives Aryll piggybacks when she wants
✯would gladly eat his grandma's soup for the rest of his life
✯His grandma gave him the recipe to her soup when he left to discover the new Hyrule
✯Has the most major and unhidable (that's not a word but who cares) side eye in the history of time
✯If the events of WW didn't happen, I think he would have grown up to be a cartographer or he would REALLY like making his own maps
✯sorry to get all angsty but I don't think he wanted to kill Ganondorf. I just don't. I don't think either of them wanted to kill eachother. I feel like Link feels guilty about it because it's so obvious that it was only self defense after the triforce was touched by king Daphnes and it literally drove Ganondorf insane
Tbh I'd go crazy too if something I had wanted so badly got taken by another person even tho I literally got SEALED IN ANOTHER FUCKING REALM FOR A LONG AMOUNT OF TIME for it
Again sorry for no totk for this one pls no spoilers
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✯Gets ambushed by Yiga so many times that he knows their names
*Yiga poofs into existence* "IM HERE TO KILL YOU LINK, IN REVENGE FOR MASTER KOHGA!!!!"
"oh hi jerry, nice weather eh?" -link
✯After he saved princess Zelda, he took a nap that lasted 4 ENTIRE days
✯not even the sound of kass' accordion could wake his ass up
✯very obvious but if he wasn't a knight, he would be a chef. Not sous chef. He would be head chef.
✯His hands are probably rough as hell from all that Hero Of Hyrule™-ing he has done
✯despite being able to lift heavy objects, his arms are still noodles
73 notes · View notes
wooahaes · 11 months
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under the sun [joshua]
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pairing: non-idol!joshua x gn!reader
prompt: darl+ing inspired fic.
word count: 11.4k~
warnings: slightly suggestive at the very very end, but its left up to interpretation whether anything happens!! (its just two idiots in love making out for a minute). so, so much skinship and platonic-ish kisses between joshua and reader throughout. depictions of nightmares + mentions of vague illness and injuries within said nightmares. food mentions. more straight forward, flirty joshua throughout fic. mentions of joshua being mr gentle sexy.
daisy’s notes: men i am down bad for after writing this........ also sorry to anyone who asked to be tagged but wasn’t: several names didn’t pop up when i tried to @ them !! (plus tumblr for some reason hates when i try to have a taglist so if it DOES show that u were @-ed but didnt receive a notif, im so sorry!! ive had this issue for a while and i have no idea how to fix it...)
< day 3 || masterlist ||
summary: It all starts when you wake up in a field without a name or any memories to define yourself with. Thirteen men take you in as one of their own, and slowly you begin to wonder what is going on within this world… and between you and one of them.      
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It wouldn’t be wrong to say that Joshua already had a soft spot for you.
This, however, was normal in his eyes. Every time a new person came from maybe either Soonyoung or Wonwoo onward, Joshua found himself doting on people a little extra. When Jun came, it simply felt like they were a tiny group of people living together. But something about that number ticking over from four to five or five to six felt... More, in a way. Although he didn’t dote heavily on Soonyoung, or Wonwoo for that matter, his affections were obvious from day one. The amusement he found in Soonyoung’s jokes, the gentle way Joshua made sure to keep Wonwoo (and later Jihoon, Minghao, and occasionally Hansol when he wasn’t feeling the chattiest) acknowledged in conversations (never forcing them to speak, but making sure they felt regarded as a member of the group), his friendly competitions with the others... He found ways to make sure people felt involved. Jeonghan was better at listening and giving advice, Seungcheol’s job was to lead, and therefore Joshua kept people feeling loved. Whether that be with casual conversation or the occasional mischievous prank he pulled. With you, he expected more of the same: he would dote on you in the beginning, and then it would fade into that same love and care he provided everyone with. Truthfully, Joshua enjoyed caring for people. There was a reason he was called gentle sexy, after all (... even if it was semi self-imposed).
And at the end of your first week living with them, Joshua saw how stressed you were becoming for one reason or another. So he decided he’d get to the root of the problem sooner rather than later. Once he finished hanging laundry with you and the others, he offered up a little picnic lunch--just the two of you. He’d packed up the sandwiches someone else (Mingyu, he thought) had made, and sliced fruit for you. All that was left was for the two of you to find a nice spot to sit in. He carried his bag with food and water bottles inside of you, while you had been tasked with the very important job of carrying the blanket he’d found for you.
He’d suggested the spot the two of you eventually settled into: half underneath the shade of the tree, and half underneath the sunshine. He spread out the blanket for two of you, gazing up at the cloudy sky above for a moment. He looked at you after a moment, gently patting the spot next to him. Yet when you sat down, he didn’t notice the way he slightly shifted to be closer to you without much thought. It felt... natural in a strange way.
“Like my second day,” you mused aloud at one point as Joshua was pulling the securely wrapped food from his bag. He looked up with a hum, but realized what you meant a second later: the two of you had lazed together under the sky that day, too.
His fingers grazed against your own for a moment, acutely aware of how the side of your hand pressed against his own that day. “It wasn’t that long ago,” he gently teased, a warm chuckle escaping his throat. “But you already fit in with us.” Just like we knew you would, he wanted to say, but he held back. Would that be a little too bold to say...?
“I do?”
He smiled. “You do,” he said, his hand already finding a home with your own, your fingers already lacing together with his. “I wouldn’t lie. I think we all care about you a lot, even if it’s in different ways.”
He could see the way you bit back a thought. Absentmindedly, your thumb brushed over his.
“Even Jihoon and Minghao,” he told you. He noticed the way you raised your eyes, already caught. And oh how cute your expression was. Maybe he’d catch you in silly little moments like these again if he could see that wide-eyed look again. “They’re just taking their time. They were like this with Seungkwan and Chan, too.”
It didn’t take you long to piece together the missing name there. “What about Hansol?”
Joshua’s eyes seemed to light up a little as he smiled. “Jihoon liked him almost immediately,” he said, “but he’s the exception. Jihoon likes you enough, and so does Minghao. They just take a little longer to warm up to people.”
“What about Jun?”
“Jun’s looking out for you, too,” Joshua said. “He’s also a little quieter about it. But... you know that Chan likes you. So do Hansol and Seungkwan...” His thumb ran along the side of your hand. “And so do I.”
He could see a flustered smile cross your lips, and you turned your face away from him, looking to the sky instead. But you finally spoke a tiny, “Thank you,” a second later. He laughed a little, warm and vibrant, at how adorable you truly were.
“So... What else is inside that cute head?” He smiled at you, tilting his head as though it’d allow him to peer inside and see said thoughts. “Anything new?”
Your smile slowly dropped, and you let out a quiet sigh. “Nothing so far.”
“Nothing wrong with that,” he said, gently squeezing your hand. “It takes time. I think once you stop worrying about it so much, it’ll come to you.”
With another sigh, you turned back to face him again. “I don’t know how you do it.”
“It’s easy after a while,” he said, pulling his hand free from your own. He reached for the sandwiches he’d brought the two of you, offering one up. Your fingers grazed his again when you accepted it, and he turned his attention to unwrapping it slowly. “When you’ve been here as long as some of us have... You learn to accept each day for what it is.” He went quiet, staring down at his meal. 
And you watched as proud, bright, warm Joshua turned into someone... quieter. Like the volume had been slowly turned down, number by number, until his melody could barely be heard while still being there. He said nothing for a moment, just staring blankly, brows drawing together as he gathered his thoughts.
“Sometimes... I pray,” he finally said. “And I think it helps. I grew up Catholic,” he looked back up at you, “That much I remember. I remember singing in church....” He went quiet again for a moment, idly pulling at a piece of the bread. “Singing’s really important to me, actually. Sometimes I don’t know why, but it is.”
You weren’t sure what to say to someone so pensive, so quiet compared to the version you knew most days. So you opted for what you knew was true: “You’re good at it.”
A smile crossed his face, even if it didn’t fully seem to be him again. “You’re sweet,” he said at first, eyes meeting yours after a second. This time, his smile actually met his eyes. “Thank you. But you should hear Seungkwan. And Seokmin, too,” he said, taking a bite of his sandwich, as if to distract himself from whatever thoughts had washed over him before. “Jeonghan and Jihoon are talented, too,” he said after swallowing his bite, “but you really, really need to hear how Seungkwan and Seokmin sound--especially if they sing together.”
That seemed to bring back the Joshua you were most familiar with. Not that you didn’t like this quieter, more thoughtful version of him: you thought that maybe, in time, you would learn how to speak to him in moments like that. It was strange, though... He always seemed so carefree so far, most days enjoying the freedom that this life could give him. It almost felt as though he was made for it. That wasn’t to say that you didn’t think Joshua could have those quieter moments: you were sure everyone there had them--even Soonyoung, who seemed to carry the most laughter with him, or Mingyu, who’s silly, goofy nature spoke for itself most days. Yet with Joshua... It felt as though you weren’t prepared to see that side of him peek out so soon.
It was cute, though, to see the way he happily hyped up the others and their talents. Soonyoung loved to dance--as did Jun, Minghao, and Chan, and Joshua was happy to sing the praises of everyone there. He’d let you see too much of himself, too soon. Maybe when the two of you were closer (and, truly, he hoped you would be), he would confide in you the way he confided in Jeonghan. He hoped you would feel the same safety in confiding in him, too: he might not be as warm as Jeonghan seemed to be, but he wanted to give you a warm place to land if you needed it, arms wide open and ready to embrace you when you needed it.
That night, he woke up from a far too vivid dream. The memory seemed to fade away soon, slipping from his grasp as he sat forward, a hand running through his hair. He’d been somewhere... crowded and loud, making his way through throngs of people. He remembered being approached, yet the face seemed... blurry and distant. Like he should remember it, but something in his mind refused to let him make out specific features.
“Joshua?” Jeonghan quietly mumbled from beside him, sleep laced into his voice. He stifled a yawn, reaching out to lay a hand on his arm. “Are you alright?”
He nodded, slowly settling back into bed as he turned onto his side. “Just had a weird dream,” he said. “Nothing bad. Don’t worry.”
Jeonghan accepted the answer easily enough, eyelids drooping shut as he snuggled back into the space next to him. He’d talk to him about it in the morning--no need to wake Jeonghan up over something so silly. He slipped back into slumber as easily as he had pulled his blanket back over him, and was left with nothing else he could remember that next morning. He made his way to breakfast with the others, stopping long enough to glance at himself in a mirror. He looked the same, so why did he feel so... Different?
He’d waved at you on his way in, and noticed your shy smile as you waved back before returning to your conversation with Seokmin. Joshua went to get a glass, his focus purely on getting a glass of water. Maybe that’d help settle him, centering him on something other than what he dreamed about last night. Seungcheol had stopped beside him, though, his own glass in hand.
“Everything okay?” He asked in a quiet voice. “I felt you jolt last night.”
“You did?” Joshua raised his eyes to meet Seungcheol’s. “Just had a weird dream. It felt... real.”
Seungcheol slowly nodded, taking in each word with care. “Like a memory?”
“I think so.” Joshua paused. Yet... The other memories never felt so vivid. Not like this. They felt real in the same sense, but what made this one feel so intense...?
He saw you again, giggling at something Seokmin had said, and he could see the way he pressed kisses into your cheek with a smile.
Well. There might be his why sitting right there. All that was left was to chase after it.
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“Today, I’m going to teach you something very important.”
Joshua’s hand was holding yours as he walked alongside the river with you, more-so to guide you than his casual form of skinship. He’d invited you along with him for a small walk through nature--something he enjoyed doing on his own sometimes, but today wasn’t just leisure. He’d left you waiting in anticipation after he finally decided to break the news to you as to why he’d suddenly invited you out again barely a few days after your picnic.
“The art,” he said, with a purposeful pause to build suspense, “of living one day at a time.” He let go of your hand after a moment, slowing to a stop as he turned to you. “I think you could use it.”
He was slightly teasing you, and you could tell from the way he was smiling at you. Yet you agreed easily enough to ‘take these lessons,’ since he’d casually offered you a ‘once-in-a-lifetime deal’ when he invited you out earlier. If there was anything Joshua was good at, it was keeping you entertained. Whether that be through playing guitar or singing, or building up to moments like these... You definitely found him charming in plenty of ways.
“It’s hard,” he said, “but I learned a while back that it’s better to accept each day as they come. It helped me relax, at least--and it helped a few of the others, so I think I’m an expert now.”
Charming and cheeky. A deadly combination, in your humble opinion, but you liked Joshua’s company too much. If he would be the death of you, then c’est la vie... At least Chan would hopefully avenge you, maybe with Seungkwan and Hansol at his side.
(Not that you had any worries with Joshua: he was strong and safe in the same way the others were. The only fear you truly ever could have was of impending heartbreak, if you let yourself fall for his charms.)
Joshua drifted away from you, plucking a few flowers from the ground before he turned back to you. “There’s a lot of beauty in nature. I think I knew it before, but living here really makes you appreciate it a lot more.” He made his way over, carefully placing the flower behind your ear.
It was at this point that you realized he’d placed the other behind his own, and he smiled at the way the two of you matched now: little yellow flowers almost making it seem like the two of you were a pair. He turned, starting off talking about his own walks he goes on sometimes, enjoying the scenery even though he’s seen it an endless amount of times by now, and you followed behind him like a duckling.
Eventually, he found a spot to sit. He nodded toward the spot next to him, the corners of his lips slightly upturned as he watched you sink down into the spot next to him.
“What do you see?”
You raised a brow at him. What?
“Humor me,” he said. “Just tell me what you can see.”
So with a long exhale, you looked around, and began to list off things. The river ahead of you, stretching toward the lake at the end of this path. The trees that surrounded both of you, having reached the more wooded area. If you looked close enough, you could see fish underneath the water, scales shimmering in the sunlight that peeked through the trees. Tiny flowers dotting amongst the grass: some pink, some white... and others yellow, like the ones you and Joshua still had behind your ears.
Your eyes trailed him up. “I see you, too,” you said after a moment.
It earned a smile from him. “Well,” he said, “I see you as well. Now tell me what you can hear.”
Part of you wanted to roll your eyes. It felt like the kind of lesson you might have as a child learning about their senses for the first time, but you began to list off things nevertheless. The sound of water rushing past (and, if you listened closer, you could hear a fish leap and land in the water again), the sound of birds fluttering through the trees. Joshua’s breathing. The wind as it rustled leaves. Your own quiet breathing, too. Part of you wondered if you could hear the others, had you been close enough to home: the sound of Jun’s loud laughter, or Seungkwan ranting at something Soonyoung joked about...
And when he prompted you next, you continued on: you could smell the flowers, light and sweet on the breeze. Feel the way that the grass was poking into your skin, the feeling of the flower, weightless, behind your ear. The warm breeze as it kissed your skin. The warm feeling of his hand brushing against yours.
“That’s it,” he said in a low voice. “The art of living a day at a time.” He was smiling again, eyes twinkling. “Living in the present moment and accepting it as that. The book Wonwoo brought back called it mindfulness, but I prefer my name for it.”
You couldn’t help but smile back at him. Even if it was a mouthful... You thought you preferred his name for it, too.
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The next day, you and Joshua were tasked with cooking dinner. Conversation always came easy with Joshua: even if you had moments of being unsure what to say, he could easily fill the air and keep things flowing as the two of you worked. He always seemed to use chores as a way of checking in with you, too, just to make sure you were adjusting well. He noticed how close you’d become with Seungkwan, Hansol, and Chan--although he’d noticed that a few others had a soft spot for you (namely Mingyu... and Seungcheol, but for the sake of his friendship, he’d leave his name out of it for now).
“Joshua?” You looked up from the veggies you’d been chopping for him, and he merely hummed in acknowledgement. “So... What started this whole ‘art of living one day at a time’ thing?”
He hummed to himself for a moment, mulling over the exact moment that led to it. He’d come up with the silly little name for it after he started practicing mindfulness, sure, but... “Sometimes,” he started, “I’ll get stuck in my own thoughts. It was maybe a few weeks before Jun showed up, but Cheol and Jeonghan took me out for a picnic. And--I dunno. We just sat together, just kinda observing how peaceful everything is.”
“So you had a picnic with your friends, and you started to appreciate... everything?” 
Joshua nodded, not looking up from his work. “Yep. It helped.”
“Would you do that with me?”
He paused, turning to see that you’d grown more flustered at asking your question aloud. Before you could apologize and try to backtrack, he merely nodded, “Sure. I’d gladly steal you away for a picnic if you don’t mention it to anyone else.” He went back to stirring the pot, the scent of spices heavy in the air. “I like having alone time with you.”
His heart stirred at his own words, aware of what he meant: I like being the object of your attention.
Right as he went to apologize for being so forward, you spoke up, “Then you can’t tell anyone, either.“
Joshua’s eyes were shimmering as he turned to you again, sharing a smile between the two of you as he realized that maybe things weren’t so one-sided for him. “Then... We can call it a date. If you want.”
“And if I do?”
Oh. Oh. This felt... fast. “Then you can pick our spot.”
Two days later, Joshua let you take the lead, a basket and blanket in his hands as you lead the way outside. The two of you had agreed to a little picnic lunch together, to reduce any risk of someone trying to tag along with you. Everyone would be scattered now, doing their own things as Joshua let you take the lead. He could hear the sound of Seungkwan and Chan bickering in the attic as he climbed up and into the church, and the tell-tale sound of Hansol’s warm laugh at an argument that was anything but serious. The two of you had passed Mingyu and Wonwoo on your way out, and he’d seen Seokmin go searching for Jihoon with Minghao tailing alongside him. Some of the others must still be out, finishing up their chores for the day. Joshua saw Jun on the way out, making his way back inside with an empty basket from doing laundry in his arms, and merely gave him a small wave.
You guided him out and to the same shady spot he sat with you on your second day. Together, you spread the blanket out before sitting together, chatting idly for a while..
“Joshua?” You suddenly said. “Tell me what you can see.”
His eyes crinkled a little with delight. Oh, how cute of you. He began to list things in a calm, even tone: the trees that grow thicker down the path to the lake, the river that ran near the two of you (and the shimmering of scales that are easier to see now, with the sunlight hitting them), the pebbles that were pressed into the dirt. He could hear the sound of your breathing, leaves rustling, the babbling brook... And he could feel the plush fabric underneath the two of you, the warm breeze as it kissed his skin in a way he wished would be replaced by something (someone, his mind corrected) else...
And even though the two of you had moved on from that sense, he smiled as he looked at you: “And I see you.”
Over two weeks of you being there, and Joshua felt as though he’d fallen for you too quickly. Too easily. Maybe in another life, this would have taken far longer. He would have courted you the right way, with dinner dates and long walks where he had to build up the courage to ask if he could hold your hand (out of respect for you rather than insecurity for himself: not all people enjoyed the kind of casual skinship that Joshua often saw Seungkwan partake in with...well... everyone). Maybe he should have asked you on the walk back how you felt, exactly...Yet his confidence had dwindled slightly. He felt something for you, yes, but how was he to be sure that it was love?
So he’d give himself a little longer instead. Enough time to know for sure that the enamored feelings he was almost certain of were what he thought they were. Every time a new person came, there was always this honeymoon period of adoration for them. For Joshua, it was the warmth of a need to welcome and care for a new person, and he knew himself well: it’d only last a week or two, three at the most, before it became something comfortable in his chest rather than an ever present flutter that punctuated his every action. Even if his gaze would drift down to your lips (a sign, in his eyes, that this was not the normal love he felt for new people)... He needed time to be sure.
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Barely into your third week of living with them, Joshua woke up to the sound of you panicking.
He was far from the first person awake, though. You had curled up across the room, happy to be in Seokmin’s warm embrace since he was feeling particularly cuddly tonight, and you’d startled several of the others closer to you. He jerked up, running a hand through his hair to comb it back to his face as he watched you panic. The others had already taken to comforting you to no success. Seokmin kept an arm around you, trying to calm you down while your words were slammed together in this endless dribble, like water from a faucet coming out all in one heavy blast. Chan had reached out, trying to take your hand and wipe your tears as you kept trying to talk about the dream you’d had. Seungkwan spoke over you plenty, alongside Minghao, as they all tried to get you to slow down and breathe. You could talk afterward, yet you didn’t seem to listen. All Joshua could tell was that you had fought with Minghao in this dream, and then you ran away and ended up hurt, terrified no one was coming for you.
He kicked off the blanket, pulling himself free from the space between Seungcheol and Jeonghan with ease. Several others had woken up at this point, too, and he could hear Seungcheol mumbling something to Jeonghan as he was roused, too. Joshua, on the other hand, was more focused on getting over to you, falling to his knees in front of you.
“Hey,” he said softly, “it’s okay. It’s okay,” he reached for your hands, and, through your tear-filled gaze, your eyes met his own. “I’m here--”
All within seconds, you’d begun to move in for comfort, and he easily pulled you into his chest. Soon enough, he had sunk down to where he was sitting, letting you sob into his shirt as he stroked your back. His head leaned against your own, eyes fluttering shut as he focused on comforting you.
“It’s okay,” he said again in that low, soothing voice, “I’m right here. Just breathe for me, darling, okay?”
As if the words finally broke through to you, this time carrying some meaning to them, you gave him a shaky nod before squeezing your eyes shut tight. Your breathing staggered, and Joshua began to take in slow, deep breaths with you. Just to make sure you didn’t feel like you were alone now. He raised his head as you kept breathing, and he looked around at the sea of concerned faces that surrounded him now. Some of them were still half asleep (Mingyu and Hansol, Joshua noticed, and maybe Soonyoung, too), but they’d gathered around. They were a community, after all. This was far from the first time someone had a bad enough dream to evoke such a strong reaction (Joshua remembered plenty of incidents right offhand), and it created this understood feeling between them all: we check on each other, and we go from there. If you didn’t want to talk, they wouldn’t force you to.
You had realized that you disturbed everyone soon enough, and already began to apologize over and over, trying to make up a good enough reason to justify getting so upset over a bad dream. Joshua gently shushed you instead.
“It’s okay,” he repeated again. “You just had a bad dream. It happens to all of us.”
Which was enough to prompt Chan into bringing up how he woke up with a scream his first week there. He couldn’t remember what the dream was anymore, but it was bad enough that the others had to calm him down, too. He thought it was something to do with his life before, but Joshua remembered what it was. Chan had dreamed that he’d been kicked out of the group because he failed them in some way. Seokmin reached over, taking your hand in his, gently running his thumb across your knuckles as he shared his own story: he fought with Mingyu early into the latter’s first days with the group, and had a bad dream a while after of the fight getting worse.
They shared their pain with you without reluctance. They were human, too, after all: they had bad dreams and bad mornings, and sometimes they’d wake up crying like this too. Joshua just cradled you to his chest the entire time, though, tracing slow circles onto your back as you listened. Despite the stories being shared, you didn’t share your own now that you were calm enough that you could get it across better. No one pushed you to, though, past Wonwoo’s gentle question of whether you wanted to talk about it more. You had shook your head, curling up closer to Joshua before saying that you felt better now, thanks to all of them. They’d all started to go back to bed, Seungkwan telling you to wake him up if you needed to talk; he would happily listen if you needed him (or the two of you could go on a walk, too, if that’d help).
Joshua gently nudged you to get your attention. “What do you want now?” He asked softly. “You wanna go back to bed? I can get you some water if you want.”
You shook your head. “Can... Can I sleep with you, actually? You holding me helps...”
The surprise of your request made him grow a little flustered. He’d always be open to cuddling with you, but for you to say something like that...
He nodded, though, and brought you back over to where he’d been sleeping. Seungcheol wordlessly shifted over to make room for you, already grabbing extra pillows and blankets to help make you as comfortable as possible. Soon enough, you were curled up in Joshua’s arms again.
Over your head, Joshua had met Jeonghan’s gaze. His eyes flickered down to you for just a moment, and Joshua...
Well. He knew what Jeonghan was trying to ask. He merely nodded, and he watched as his friend nodded in return, understanding. A moment later, he’d seen the way you shivered slightly, and Jeonghan slid a little closer to ensure that you would be warm between the two of them.
Joshua loved you. Plain and simple. And now he was sure that both Jeonghan and Seungcheol knew (as well as every other person in that room). Everyone but you, hopefully. If he was going to tell you soon (and he would, he knew he would if he thought he had a chance), he wanted to do it right. But only when you were ready for that kind of relationship with him.
(And maybe he should call it overconfidence, but... Joshua had a pretty strong feeling that you loved him back.)
As much as Joshua didn’t want to leave you the next morning, it was Mingyu who gently nudged him awake, asking in a low voice if he’d come help with breakfast. He agreed, watching you sleep for a moment longer after Mingyu left him, and he slowly untangled himself from him. When you began to stir away, he gently shushed you, pressing a kiss to your forehead as he told you to go back to sleep for a little longer. You’d ended up turning over, reaching over for Seungcheol, who barely roused before he cuddled a little closer to give you further comfort. Joshua pulled himself from his blankets, watching the wordless way that Jeonghan filled the space he was leaving, eyes meeting his for a second in a silent go on, I’ve got them.
Mingyu was already working on breakfast when Joshua came in, his conversation with Seokmin coming to a halt. The two greeted him casually enough, and Joshua was put to work soon enough.
“Josh?” Seokmin said after a few minutes, earning a glance from him. “You and Mouse...”
Joshua said nothing at first, working on. Oh. It must be obvious now, then. Is this something he’ll have to address with everyone? “We’re only friends.”
“We know,” Mingyu said. “That’s not what we’re asking.”
You don’t need me to say it out loud, Joshua wanted to say. Because they knew: everyone had to, right? Last night was just... proof that the initial affection he held for you within your first days never went away. That it merely blossomed into something stronger. Barely a few weeks into you living with them, and you’d somehow captured his heart so easily. He didn’t want to call it all-out love, because love took longer to sow. Infatuation fit better. He, for the lack of a better word between “infatuation” and “love,” liked you.. a lot.
He waited until everyone, save for you, had filed in for breakfast. They were quiet, a few whispers about you flying around the table, and Joshua... Well. Joshua wasn’t an idiot: he saw the concerned glances people kept sending him. The way no one addressed him, but kept clearly talking about him.
And then he finally spoke up, “Don’t tell them.”
No one spoke. They merely exchanged looks, all knowing at this point.
“Not now,” Joshua said. “I’ll tell them when they’re ready.  I’m not putting that burden on them this soon.”
It was still tense, but Seungkwan was the one who finally looked up from his breakfast. “Joshua... I think they like you, too.”
He wanted to say something. Anything. His face grew warmer at someone actually speaking the thought aloud. He thought you did, too: but he didn’t want to define your feelings in his mind. It would set expectations on you that he wasn’t comfortable setting: if you liked him back, then he’d want to hear you say it out loud. Not now, of course, but when you were feeling better. He knew the effects of a shitty dream all too well.
Chan barely touched his food before he excused himself, saying something about taking a walk before he’d start on his share of the chores. Joshua saw the concerned look Hansol and Seungkwan shared, and the gentle nod toward where Chan had left that Seungcheol gave them: go on. The two excused themselves as well, getting up and following after him quickly.
Joshua wasn’t an idiot. He knew he wasn’t the only person who felt more for you. He knew Chan did. He thought Cheol did, too, but Joshua knew that neither would stand in your way of pursuing who you loved. Whether it be them or someone else, they would accept it and learn how to move past their feelings. Joshua would do the same, after all. He loved you and your happiness. And if you would be happier with someone else.. Then Joshua would support you wholeheartedly while he took the time to heal.
That’s what love was supposed to be, wasn’t it?
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Something weighed in the pit of your stomach for most of that day. Everyone had been concerned at breakfast that morning (which, to be fair, hadn’t surprised you in the slightest), and you had waved them off. You weren’t ready to talk about your dream quite yet, not until you tried to focus on the center of it all. By some stroke of luck, you’d found Minghao painting by himself--sitting at a bare space of wall that’d only been painted green in preparation. He’d been painting a circle of blue, merely glancing up as you came closer before greeting you casually enough.
You slowly sank down next to him when he invited you to. “Um... Minghao?”
He heard the caution in your voice, and it made him lower his brush, turning to you. “Is something wrong?”
“Did... Did I do something?” You said slowly. “I mean. I don’t think I did, but--I had a dream that you were mad at me, and--and I just started overthinking and--”
“I’m not mad at you,” he said, plain and simple. For a moment, his gaze flickered past you, but before you could turn to see what he was looking at, he spoke up again. “If I was, you’d know. We’d talk about it eventually.”
Relief hit you all at once, and you let out a sigh. “Good...” You’d toyed with your sleeve, still feeling a slight nervous edge as you sat there with him. “I just... I had this dream where everyone seemed upset. But you--”
His gaze flickered up again, and then back to your face before he finally looked past you one final time. “Stop standing around and either sit with us or go.”
You turned, and Joshua had been lingering nearby. “Oh. Shua...”
“I can go--”
“No,” you said, “it’s okay. You can stay if you want. I don’t mind talking about it now.”
Joshua slowly nodded, making his way over before he sank down next to the two of you. He watched you for a moment, waiting to see if you would continue.
And soon enough, you did. “Anyway... I don’t know why everyone was upset, but you were the only one who spoke up and said whatever happened was my fault.”
Minghao furrowed his brow, looking up. “But you don’t know what happened?” When you shook your head, he continued. “I can’t say I wouldn’t be mad if something bad happened--”
“I ran away,” you said. “I don’t know why, but I just decided I’d leave for good since you all were better off before I came here.”
Joshua wasn’t sure what to say. He merely shared a concerned glance with Minghao, who, too, seemed to be at a loss for words.
“We love you,” was what Minghao said a second later, voice softer than before. “If something bad happened, we wouldn’t kick you out.”
“He’s right,” Joshua said. “We wouldn’t--”
“You didn’t,” you said. “I decided to just... Remove myself from the equation.”
That... was different, to be fair. But what could cause them all to be so upset that you felt that was the only option? To run away and live on your own instead? They were a community: no one should have to live a life of complete isolation. Seungcheol was always adamant about that after his own time alone.
“I know I wasn’t warm to you when you first came here,” Minghao said after a moment, “but I don’t want you to leave. You’re one of us now.”
With a slow nod, you let his words sink in. Us. Although you knew they’d all embraced you with open arms, letting you into this community, this family they had so lovingly come together to form... It still meant a lot to hear that you were a part of it. That they loved you.
Minghao looked back at the scene he’d been working on, pressing his lips together for a moment. “Do you have any ideas on what I should paint? I wanted to paint a pond, but...”
Joshua looked to you. “Mouse?”
“How about... ducks?” You suggested casually enough. “A little family of ducks.”
Minghao nodded after a moment, taking your suggestion into account before he began to wash his brush. “A family of ducks it is, then.”
You stood up, thanking Minghao for the talk as you went to leave him and Joshua behind. Yet Joshua rose quickly, following after you and stopping you once you were far enough to not be overheard by Minghao.
“Did you have any more bad dreams?”
You shook your head. “I didn’t. Thank you for being there, though. It felt like cuddling with you was all I needed.”
He chuckled. “Well,” he said, “all you have to do is wake me up and I’ll be there from now.“ He took your hands in his, swinging them slightly. “I always have room for you, alright?”
Your nose had crinkled when you smiled, giggling. “I’ll keep that in mind.” You slowly let go, taking a drifting step back. “Thank you, Joshua. I’ll keep it in mind.”
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It was strange. Sure enough, you woke up that next night, sobbing again. It wasn’t as bad as the first time, but Chan had woken up Joshua for you when you asked him to. Instead of merely trying to soothe you back to sleep then and there, he glanced around before he gently pulled you to your feet, guiding you out of the room to make both of you a warm cup of tea. He sat next to you, watching the slow sips you’d take, cheeks still wet with tears. Despite the urge to go ahead and ask, to figure out what upset you this time, he let you have your space. The tea seemed to calm your nerves, and he merely waited for you to make the next move: if you wanted to go back to bed, he’d offer the spot next to you again. Or you could go back to Chan, who Joshua was sure was still lying awake, waiting to know if you were fine. When you finally lifted your head, meeting his gaze, you asked to talk about it.
This time, your nightmare was about Wonwoo. He’d fallen sick--really, really sick--in your nightmare. You swore you could still feel his feverish skin from when you were checking his temperature. It was almost as if he was going to die, and the thought of that had been enough to throw you out of your dreams and back into the reality you were living in. Wonwoo was okay: that was something you could see when you first woke up. Chan had stirred, asking what was wrong, and you merely asked him to get Joshua.
“If it helps... No one’s ever been that sick before,” Joshua said, his hand on top of yours. His thumb grazed the back of your hand. “And we know how to take care of each other. I’m sure Wonwoo would have been okay.”
Something about his presence seemed to calm you easier than the others did. He sat with you a little longer until your cups of tea were empty, and soon enough he’d made a space for you once more, letting you curl up in his arms again.
The same happened the next night: Mingyu had burned his hand in that dream. The next, you were lost in the forest with an injured ankle and you were scared no one would come for you. In another, your shoulder had been injured horribly... And all Joshua could do was be there for you each night. Sometimes he’d make you tea, or the two of you would go on a short walk to clear your head, but it always ended up the same: with you in Joshua’s arms, feeling safer than you had been before. He would wake up the next morning, feeling the weight of your body against his, sleeping peacefully.
(You finally gave up after that night and started sleeping next to him permanently until you worked out whatever was causing these nightmares. Not that he was complaining: he liked having you close to him.)
Seungcheol had been watching you one night after dinner, while the group was all still together, biting his bottom lip. Joshua wondered if he thought he could figure you out had he stared intensely enough, studying your entirety as much as he could from his place across the room. Yet his calling of “Mouse,” had been enough to catch your attention, followed by, “are your dreams still bothering you?”
You looked up from the puzzle you were working on with Minghao and Seokmin, a little more flustered at the outright question. “Not really...”
“Aren’t dreams a subconscious thing?” Hansol said from his spot on the couch, curled up with Jihoon next to him. “Maybe you’re just worried about something.”
“I’m not,” you said, a little too quickly in Joshua’s opinion. “I just had a string of bad dreams. It’s nothing serious.”
“Are you sure?” Seokmin frowned. “You can talk to us--”
“I’m fine,” you said, standing up. “I’m gonna go wash up for bed.”
They let you go without a fight. No need to push you now when you were already starting to get upset. Joshua merely said he’d go try to talk to you, just to make sure you were fine--even if you weren’t ready to talk. He’d found you brushing your teeth, and you’d pouted a little at the sight of him in the entryway.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” you said after spitting into the sink. “Maybe tomorrow, Shua.”
He slowly drifted closer to you. “That’s okay,” he said, slowly stopping next to you. “Do you know what’s bothering you, though?”
Reluctantly, you nodded after a moment. “I think I do. But... I don’t wanna think deeply about it before bed.”
He could understand that. “As long as you aren’t bottling it up,” he said. “We love you a lot.” He reached out to brush a stray hair back into place, and his fingers lingered at your temple for a moment before he drew his hand back. “I just want you to know that.”
“I love you guys, too,” you met his gaze. “Really, Joshua. I’m okay for tonight.” You leaned in, pressing a tiny kiss against his cheek. “Just tired from doing laundry with Soonyoung and Seungkwan earlier.”
He chuckled airily, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “I understand. Just don’t be afraid to tell us things, alright?”
“I won’t.” You promised. “Goodnight, Joshua.”
With you heading to bed early, Joshua... knew what he needed to do. The group was starting to disperse when he returned, and he went ahead to stop Chan before he could go with the others.
“I was thinking about going for a walk,” he said. “Do you want to join  me?”
Chan shook his head. “I’m good, Shua. Thank you--”
“Chan,” he said, a little more serious this time. “I think you should.”
Chan looked toward the others, and let out a sigh, before nodding. He understood what this was, and the two of them grabbed their shoes and began to make their way outside. Once the church doors were securely closed behind them, Joshua let out a sigh and looked up to the stars overheard, twinkling in the clear, dark sky... and then he nodded out toward the river. He and Chan walked in silence at first, making their way down the hill with slow, heavy steps, neither sure how to begin this conversation.
“I really like them,” Joshua said outright. “And I know other people do, too. In the same way, I mean.”
Chan didn’t look at him at first. “I know. I was there when you asked us not to tell them how you feel.”
“I just want to clear the air,” Joshua said, “because I know you love them, too.”
Chan met his gaze, and Joshua could see something (confidence, perhaps) waver in his eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, only to close it, looking away. “We’re all adults here,” he said. “I’m not going to treat either of you differently.”
“I know that,” Joshua said. “I trust you. But I don’t want any bad blood between us... and I don’t want to hurt your friendship with Mouse, either.”
With a heavy sigh, Chan shut his eyes for a moment, slowing to a stop. “As long as they’re happy, then I’m happy. I love them, Joshua, and I want them to be happy.” He shoved his hands into his pockets, turning away again to kick at a pebble along the riverside. “I’d be happy no matter who they love. It’s not like they can date all of us.”
“Can’t they?” Joshua said, only slightly teasing. “You know how we are with each other. I think if we all wanted that, we’d work it out.”
Chan’s face grew bright red, even in the low light. “Don’t say things like that!” He said, pouting, “I--I don’t want to think about it when they only like you.”
“Sorry,” he chuckled. “I mean it, though. We’re all more than just a group of people living together, though. Who knows,” he shrugged, “maybe in another life, we’d all be something together.”
“Maybe.” Chan sounded wistful as he stared off into the distance. “But they love you.”
But they love me, Joshua repeated mentally, turning the phrase over in his mind over and over. You loved him... “I think they do--”
“I know they do.” Chan said. “It’s kind of obvious now.” He pulled his hands from his pockets, looking back to the church. The two began their return up the hill, faster this time to get back inside now that they’ve cleared the air. “Are you going to talk to Cheol, too?” He paused, “I mean... It’s obvious. Isn’t it?”
Joshua let out a warm chuckle as he pulled open the doors. It was a bit obvious that Seungcheol felt... a lot for you. “It is. I’m not sure I’ll talk to him, though.”
“Why?”
“You admitted to your feelings,” Joshua said, following Chan inside as he turned to secure the door. “Cheol is the kind of person who’d rather deny them either until his feelings are gone or until the world ends if it meant they’d be happy. He’s just going to give them up--”
“And I will.” Seungcheol stood up from his chair, making his way over. “Are you two really talking about me?” He chuckled a little at the startled expression on Chan’s face. “It’s fine, Chan. Hansol mentioned the two of you left, and I had an idea why.”
“So you decided to just wait in the dark to scare us?”
Seungcheol shrugged. “I thought it’d be funny. And it was,” he nodded toward Chan, “very funny to see his face--”
“But that’s not fair!” Chan suddenly cut in. “Cheol... It’s not fair that you have to give up your feelings.”
“Isn’t that what you’re doing?”
Chan stammered for a moment, “I--But--It’s not--” And then stopped, collecting himself. “It is, but... You give up a lot for us already.”
“They don’t love me,” Seungcheol said, plain and simple. A fact that he had long since accepted. “They love Joshua. We’re both giving up our feelings because we care about them and want to see them happy.”
Joshua felt his heart sink a little. While Joshua would have done the same for you... It felt awful to hear it said aloud, especially from someone who felt so much for you. “Cheol--”
“It’s silly,” he said. “How hard I fell and how fast it happened... But they love you, Joshua. And I know you love them, too.”
Joshua wasn’t sure what to say. “Cheol, I’m--”
“Take care of them.” Seungcheol tucked his hands into his pockets. “I know they’ll do the same.” He turned, musing aloud, “You know who to see about signing up to perform on their day...”
So Joshua nodded, already knowing what he needed to do. Chan walked ahead, following after Seungcheol. He needed to tell you soon, but... Surely, you could wait a little longer, couldn’t you? Just long enough for him to say it the way he felt he needed to. He made his way down, through the long passage until he came into the main room... Where Jihoon had been curled up, reading a book on the couch, humming to himself as he drummed his fingers against the edge. He wasn’t tired yet, but Joshua knew he wouldn’t go to his guitar until he couldn’t hold back anymore. He called out to Jihoon, already bringing up the song they’d been working on with Jeonghan and how he was going to try and finish it. He’d need help with getting it right, but...
Joshua knew how to make his feelings for you clear. Even if you couldn’t answer him in the moment, he’d sing it proudly, just so you knew where his heart fell.
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Sometimes, all you had to do to find Joshua was follow the sound of a guitar being played. It always would lead you either to him or to Jihoon (or, rarely, Hansol), and once you came close enough, you’d be able to hear the soft way he mumbled his way through lyrics as he tried to figure them out. You peered around the entryway to the room he was in, watching the way he quietly worked on. He’d yet to notice you, and you watched the way his fingers moved to make each chord. Something about the way the sunlight flooded into the room and illuminated him made it feel as though you were looking in on a masterpiece. If only you could paint it--committing it to memory didn’t feel like it was enough to capture his beauty. Those soft brown locks fell into his face, eyes half-lidded as the lyrics he were working through (Should I talk to you or not? / I thought for a while...) barely audible. Was this, you wondered, what Eurydice felt when she looked upon Orpheus? Or how the stones felt when he traveled to bring her back, parting the way with ease, so moved by his song? Even if you couldn’t hear every word he sang, there was something so genuinely beautiful about how he seemed to lose himself in his music. It was similar to the way Jihoon did, too, as well as Hansol: they loved it so deeply, it was as though they were meant to sing in some way. Like music was one of their greatest loves, and it’d be cruel to abandon it completely.
Joshua looked up soon enough, though, and the music stopped as those pretty eyes softened when they saw you. “Hello, darling,” he called out, thoroughly amused that he had caught you observing him. It was just as love-filled as when he called you that during your second day there, too. “You can come in, if you want.”
As if bewitched to move from your place, you drifted across the room toward him, heart guiding you more than anything. Joshua always seemed to have room for you, no matter where he was: there was space by his side at dinner, at bedtime, or in conversations... and even now, when it was the two of you alone, he was happy to bring you in.
“Do you know how to play?” He asked, turning his attention to tuning his guitar--one of the chords must have been slightly off, since he’d kept trying to tune and retune it as he worked.
You shake your head. “Hansol offered to teach me once, actually,” you watched as he worked on, humming in acknowledgement.
“And?”
“I turned him down.”
Joshua lifted his head, this pretty, amused glimmer in his eyes. “You don’t want to spend time with Hansol?”
With a giggle, you gently bumped your shoulder into his. “Of course I do. I’d just... rather learn from someone else.”
He merely chuckled. “I see.”
Wordlessly, as he finally finished tuning the guitar, Joshua moved in closer to you so that he could reach around you. He brought in your hand to lay on the strings, the weight of it mostly on him still. His fingers are rough as they guide yours into place, and it made you wonder how long he’d been playing guitar.
“This is how you do Em...” His breath hit the back of your ear, and he paused to make sure you were pressing down the strings firmly enough. Then he strummed, and you could feel the vibrations through those strings. “Hear that?” He said, and when you looked at his face again, you could see this proud glimmer in his eyes. “And if you move your fingers to these chords,” he was already moving on, “you can get C...”
Joshua gently instructed you as he could. Em to C to G to D, always guiding your fingers and helping you keep them in place, and punctuating each with a strum to let you hear the difference.
“You’ll get better with time,” he said, “we’ll work on it.”
“So that means there’s a next time?”
He shifted away from you, returning to the position he’d been sitting in before you came. “If you want there to be one. I like spending time with you, you know.”
“Good.” You rested against his side. “I like spending time with you, too.”
He chuckled warmly. “I won’t tell Hansol you said that--”
When you whined his name, he merely laughed a little more, head tilting back as his eyes scrunched up with joy. Yet soon enough, he went back to what he was working on, no longer softly singing lyrics under his breath. He merely hummed along, trying to figure out the part he was working on.
“Y’know...” You began to toy with a stray strand of thread on your sleeve. “I talked to Cheol yesterday.”
“Mhm?”
For a moment, you weren’t sure how to bring it up. So you sucked in a quiet breath, before finally looking up to watch his face and try to gauge his reaction. “Joshua. What do you think love is like?”
He didn’t seem to hesitate. “I think it’s putting someone else’s needs before your own. Wanting to be close to them, too. Caring for them in a way that’s different than caring for other people.”
You opened your mouth to respond, but he continued to speak:
“It’s the way you make me feel,” he said outright, voice softer this time, as if someone would overhear if he said it any louder. He watched the way you went wide-eyed in response, clearly not expecting him to be so forward. “I was going to tell you differently. I mean, I still will, but--”
“You love me?”
He grew surprisingly sheepish, averting his gaze before giving you the tiniest nod. Strong, warm, outgoing Joshua had been reduced to a shy schoolboy because of one little question from you. “I think I do.”
His heart hammered in his chest, and he felt as though you could hear it from how silent the room had become.
“Oh.” It wasn’t flat. Or disappointed. It was warm, and a little confused, but he could hear the tiniest thread of joy laced into it. You gently bumped against his shoulder again. “Do you want to know how I feel?”
“I do,” he said, “but...” He met your eyes again. “Will you wait?”
... Wait? You’d thought that waiting was a little pointless when the fourteen of you were living this life together. What if things were over tomorrow? Why wait forever? Wasn’t that what Seungcheol told you, too? That you shouldn’t wait to confess to him? “Why?”
“I want to say it right,” he reached out, setting his hand over yours. “Okay? Let me sweep you off your feet.”
He didn’t expect you to laugh so warmly, so full of love at how cute he truly could be. “Okay,” you said, this teasing lift to your voice something he thought you’d gotten from hanging around him so much. “Then do it.”
Joshua set aside the guitar. He stood up, turning to you and offering his hand, and he nearly chuckled at your startled reaction.
“Wait, now?!”
“Nope,” he smiled. “You’ll just have to wait for what I have planned.” He nodded his head toward the doorway, “But I don’t want to give up alone time with you yet. Do you?”
You didn’t, either. With a smile, you accepted his hand, and happily let him lead the way. Although a few others had greeted the two of you, inviting you into a game, Joshua merely told them that the two of you had already decided to go for a walk together. Before someone could try to tag along, he’d already swept you away, happy to steal you all for himself for a bit. Not that he was the only one being greedy: you liked having Joshua all to yourself, too. The way he loosely intertwined his fingers with your own, just enough to keep your hands together but not enough to trap you with him, was sweet. Although when you tightened your grip a little, just to squeeze his hand, he wordlessly squeezed back.
And if he let go of you, just to sit in a shady spot under a tree, who were you to say no when he happily offered the empty space next to him to you?
(Even if it would later net the two of you teasing from Jeonghan when he eventually found you together, hours before dinner rolled around, comfortably sleeping hand in hand.)
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Celebrations were always a highlight of having this group. Yes, there was plenty of manual labor that came first... But it would always be worth it to see someone light up, getting attention dedicated to them for a night. If he could see the way you smiled every night for the rest of his life, he’d be happy with that alone. Chan had held your hand as he brought you in, bright petals filling the air as they welcomed you into the group officially. Seungkwan had placed the flower crown upon your head, lips grazing your cheek for just a second--just as everyone else did. Joshua let his lips linger against your skin for an extra second, and found himself feeling a little greedy for doing so... and for wishing that he could steal you away again. He nodded along as Seungcheol eventually did his usual toast, and smiled at the sight of Chan with his arm around your shoulder, ever the dutiful best friend to you. It was clear that everyone there loved you. If nothing else, Joshua knew that you would be loved no matter what. And if his love for you faded into something akin to friendship, it’d still be love nonetheless.
Soonyoung, Seokmin, and Seungkwan had performed their little song and dance routine--and Joshua had beamed the entire time. Maybe it was because you eventually settled into the seat next to him, letting him drape an arm around the back of your chair and press his side against yours. He loved the sound of your laugh, so full of genuine love for the three as they performed. Jihoon performed a medley of his songs--some new, some old, but these medleys were normal for him. Even with broken leftovers of songs he could never find it in him to complete, Jihoon made a complete experience for everyone to enjoy. Even Hansol had a song to perform, incomplete yet so uniquely him. Jun’s monologue had been written by him, Minghao’s art piece unveiled in the same dramatic flair that he always did...
Joshua pressed a kiss right in front of your ear. “Wait for me,” he said, getting up, “This is for you.”
He watched the realization cross your face as he drifted away, getting a guitar as Jeonghan came to join him. He let Jeonghan introduce the song as he prepped the stage: it was something the two of them had worked on with Jihoon, yet only recently finished together. Soon, he was sitting on one stool with Jeonghan on the other, already playing. You recognized the song soon: it’d been the one he had practiced when he told you that he thought he loved you.
I’m falling for you / falling for you... / it’s too late to escape
(And Joshua, in that moment, was certain he never wanted to. Especially when he fell asleep next to you, smiling at your sleeping face and caressing the white rose that Jeonghan had painted onto your skin.)
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The song had been part one. Part two began the next day, before most of the others were asleep. He’d departed from your side early--not early enough to beat the others, but early enough that you were still comfortable in your bed. He pressed a kiss to your forehead, already moving to make his plans. He’d be making dinner with Seokmin and Mingyu tonight, and that meant he could get everything ready without looking too obvious.
It would be hard to avoid you for most of the day, but the others were a welcome help. Jeonghan would point you to him when the time came, but Seungkwan, Hansol, and Chan had been tasked with distracting you for the rest of the day. That meant staying away from the garden once chores were over, and letting him take the time to make everything perfect. From the string lights that Seungkwan had found for him to the plush blanket he spread out onto the ground... He had to make this perfect.
Seungcheol had found him while he was working. “You’re telling them, right?”
He smiled. “Is it so wrong to make it romantic?”
“No,” he said, leaning against a tree. “Like I told you... Take care of them.”
“I will--”
Yet he had let out a loud, long sigh. “Seriously... They’ve been staring at you for the past few days. How can you not say something sooner? I think I’d break if they looked at me like that.”
Joshua felt the opposite, actually: Seungcheol was in love with the group. It’d take a miracle for him to tell you how he felt, and even then... He’d probably take a thousand years to do it, too. Not when it made him look as though he was playing favorites. Joshua wondered, for a moment, if that was why Seungcheol seemed so okay to give up his love for you. To let you be happy with someone else. He pushed the thought away: maybe, in another world, Seungcheol wouldn’t have to struggle with his feelings... It made Joshua feel guilty, for a moment. But he reminded himself what they both knew: you loved Joshua.
(In another world, if you loved everyone alongside him... Joshua thought he could live with that. He loved everyone else, too, after all.)
He returned inside to bring out the picnic dinner, dessert packed as well in the form of sliced fruit. Especially strawberries, which he had carefully cut the tops off of and sliced in half. It was a simple enough gesture, but one he hoped you would love.
And when you finally came to him, you laughed. “Seungkwan refused to let me leave him until Chan finally told me what was going on.”
Joshua had been sitting on the blanket, but he rose to his feet, hands outstretched for you. “Does that mean you wanted to see me?”
“Silly...” You placed your hands in his. “I’ve been dying to talk to you all day.” With ease, you slipped your fingers in-between his. “About the two of us.”
“Does that mean there is a ‘two of us?’”
He could see you grow flustered, averting your gaze for a moment as you pressed your lip together. “What do you want?”
Joshua began to lower himself down, bringing you with him to sit together. He let go just long enough to push things aside, scooting forward so that he could be closer to you. He gently took your hands in his again, squeezing them as he gathered his courage to say what he needed to say. He knew he felt something for you, that you felt something for him, and yet saying it out loud was scarier. It made it more real.
“I want us.” He ran his thumbs over your knuckles. “I want to love you while we have the chance. I’ve thought a lot about it, and... I don’t know what brought us here. I-I don’t know what brought you to me,” he squeezed your hands, “and I’m okay with whatever it is, no matter what it is. Because you’re here,” he reached forward, fingers curving around your cheek, “and I’m with you. And... And I think that’s where we’re supposed to be.”
“Joshua--”
“I love you.” His heart was racing as he said it. The words felt at home in his mouth. “And it’s okay if you can’t say it back. But... I think I’m yours if you want me to be--”
You’d lunged forward, kissing him hard and nearly sending him toppling back. His hands fly to steady you, and he shut his eyes as he kissed you back. You threaded a hand through his hair, the other cupping his cheek as you smiled into this kiss. Deep down, there was a tiny urge to just lean back. To let you take over and kiss him and... more, if you wanted it. He let his mind go blank for a moment, savoring how soft your lips felt against his own... And then he remembered.
“I,” he said as he gently pushed you back, smiling. His hair was a little messier now. “I made us dinner. And as much as I want to kiss you again...” He cupped your face, “I don’t want it going to waste.”
It earned a giggle from you, and you pecked him on the lips one quick, final time for now. “Right,” you said, leaning away. “We have time.”
That the two of you did. He’d already begun talking about how he’d been working on this earlier with the others, just to make something that would hopefully taste delicious. The others would be leaving you alone tonight, which was ideal. He wanted to be the sole object of your affections tonight and tomorrow and every day that came after, if you’d let him.
“Maybe that makes me selfish,” he said, drawing you in once more, “I can’t keep stealing you away forever, after all...”
Yet your lips slanted against his, and it made him feel free. Maybe he was never the one stealing you away. After all.. You’d stolen his heart within days of coming here. How could he steal you when he was always yours? He’d have to learn how to share you with the others again, the tiny need to keep you close to him building inside him. Just to link you to one another, like puzzle pieces that have fallen into place...
Truthfully, as long as you stood side by side with him in life... He would be happy no matter where you were. Alone or with the others, all he knew was that he wanted you with him until the end.
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general taglist: @twancingyunhao​  @wonuziex​  @synthetickitsune​ @cinnamoroxie [unable to tag?] @cherryredcheol [unable to tag?] @gyulbabie​
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sgtmickeyslaughter · 26 days
Text
Answer the Questions and Tag 5 Fanfic Authors
Thanks for tagging @jrooc
1. How did you get into writing fanfiction?
I’ve always been an avid reader and as a kid I wanted to be a writer so that was the start. I’ve been reading fanfic since i was in highschool, and I’ve had many different barely started fanfics started over the years but last year was the first time I was able to actually finish anything/taken it seriously. I think it just came down to college teaching me the last bit of discipline in my creative practice
2. How many fandoms have you written in?
Just Gallavich, but I’m very confident I will write destiel in my lifetime
3. How many years have you been writing fanfiction?
I published my first fic in September of last year!
4. Do you read or write more fanfiction?
it goes back and forth, when i enter a fandom i read fanfic voraciously but now i think i write a little more, its a balance between you can write the fanfic you want to read and you can read other peoples work to experience ideas you would never think of or just a different take on a familiar topic - both are good. I’m currently slowly going through and re-reading my old fics to get them ready to print and bind and its been a super fun process
5. What is one way you’ve improved as a writer?
I hope i’ve improved a lot overall lol the main thing i always want to do well is portray the environment the way i envision it bc the worlds of my fanfics are rich and beautiful in my head so i just want to get better and better at pulling people into that
6. What’s the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?
Not a ton of weird research, a lot of google maps-ing to get a better understanding of the layout of Chicago and understanding how far away states/cities are from one another (i’m american, just a weird bicoastal one)
7. What’s your favorite type of comment to receive on your work?
literally any comment, all of them are amazing and i can’t believe people read what i write and actually like it ?!? beautiful and very novel
8. What’s the most fringe trope/topic you write about?
um - i guess ABO, i was originally going to publish mine all mine anonymously bc it was very cringe inducing and still kind of is but tbh when i read it back i was like- wait this is good, even if it’s weird.
psychopomp is also a weird story, the way i thought/felt about it while writing was deeply weird and all the the themes of death and decay and devotion and consummation as an allegory for love were intended to be dark and just- weird
9. What is the hardest type of story for you to write?
Emotionally introspective fics that also really study the characters are really hard and i dont know why I keep fucking writing them - after finishing the fic im writing now i have to shift to something more plot focused
its really hard for obvious reasons but i also feel like i am an extremely logic driven person with a very particular worldview and all these characters are more emotionally driven than me. so i have to work very hard to not write behaviors from my pov and my decision making but from a studied understanding of the characters - which might be a good thing idk
um also idk if it needs to be said but brevity is not my strong suit, i should probably work on that
10. What is the easiest type?
Fluff, just cuddling and pillow talk baby i love that shit, also idk if i write smut well but it def goes the quickest for me
11. Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?
Pages app on my icloud - I write after work some days, on my lunch break and on the train ride home. Every so often ill wake up early on a weekend and be in the mood to put on my noise canceling headphones and write for hours, but thats not super often
12. What is something you’ve been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?
uhh - we’ll see. my true crime au is def one i want to write but all my ideas for the plot are just too dark rn, so well see if i can get it to lighten up a bit
13. What made you choose your username?
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tagging 5 writers: @callivich @mmmichyyy @iansw0rld @energievie @metalheadmickey
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youkaigakkou-tl · 1 year
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Chapter 97 Extended Translation Notes
first off here's the spread without the text at the top. the stuff at the bottom, well..... see if i feel like it
this is mostly just unorganized thoughts nothing like my analysis posts
(future op after writing the whole post: this got kinda long lol)
ok now that im hidden in the readmore i can act insane. RAHHHHH AMAAKI ON THE COLOR PAGE RAHHHH WAHOOOOOO WOOHOOOOO BIG WIN FOR AME NATION ok got that out of my system im normal now
Rain or shine
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In case you forgot, ame = rain, haru = sunny. I lose my mind every time this is relevant, like the ending of renren arc.
Whose mom is this
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the other 3 are pretty obvious, but the 2nd one isn't immediately recognizable.
(also, 2 checks for "the couple's parents are meeting" for fujiogo and momo and gida)
just for fun, i process-of-eliminationed this
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(cover page of chapter 57 my old friend)
everyone greyed out's parents statuses are confirmed, (other than akibe and koizumi, but given the physical features...)
though, i say i did this "just for fun", because i already kinda knew who's mom it was
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(from this tweet)
it's mujina's mom. she's beside tamao's mom, the appearance matches, it makes sense.
Haha Sano what the fuck does this mean
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the japanese says he "分からん" (wakaran), meaning "i dunno", and the chinese translation outright says "i don't have parents" which SEEMS to be what the jp is implying anyway
sano get back here you're not dunnoing your way out of this one
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Also renren realised they don't share a surname. ebisu explain that you're not :>ing your way out of this one either
Shrines, huh
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the plate over the torii just says "abe shrine" back in chapter 9, but given my google street view sleuthing and like, story details, even if its not the big fancy one in kyoto it is still an abe no seimei shrine. so on some level, haruaki, you're the god! what a coincidence, the "gods" are exactly as shocked as you are!
Tale of the bamboo cutter
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This page was a damn nightmare to translate. (Mame's mistakes, not the actual story in grey. it's a well known classic that's been translated, no need to reinvent the wheel)
I tried to get the "hamuhane" part exactly like the jp, but mame's mistake on the 3 "sun" big child in the first 2 panels is a little different
He interprets "なる人" (naruhito) as "成人" (also naruhito); "hito" means person, the first "naru" means grow (like a plant) or contain (i think), the second one means "adult person".
I suppose I could have also went for "grown" person vs "grown person", but in any case, haruaki's explanation for what a "sun" is on the bottom 2 panels is almost exact, and i thought the "soon" comparison was a good way to get across that's how "sun" is pronounced
(also here's my "hamuhane" tl note)
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anyway. nightmare page. looking forward to how the official tl does it when it comes out in (checks watch) like 2 years?
Ame and Ebisu interaction real
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dunno if it gets across, but I think he has a height complex...
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pretty weird thing to say, huh, Ebisu? to someone you just met? how do you know that anyway?
the only times Ame appeared has been ch8 when the gang went to Haru's house, ch23 when he pretended to be Haru (the rest of the class should be none the wiser) ch39 in the hospital (none of the class was there to see)
and then Ebisu gets introduced in ch 53, after that he hears firsthand that Haru has a twin in ch58, and then Ame is there in renren arc and outright says he's scared of youkai in ch76
Notice how Ebisu wasn't present for any of Ame's appearances prior. he wasn't involved in renren arc, and the person i think is his spy was turned to stone on the ground floor while the reveal on the roof happened.
of course, this could just be a combination of him projecting on Ame, and seeing him visibly scared of youkai a few pages prior. but "hate" is a fairly specific and strong word to use, and i also think he's too smart to not know Ame hates youkai, just a matter of where he got the info from.
The person I think is his spy
after doing some thinking (furigana reads: seeing this post), I think there's someone who's fairly likely to be the spy.
observe, the chart for "people who we've seen the parents of" and "people ranmaru might have seen in ch62"
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we've narrowed it down to one man. (ok well there's a few in common here, but satsuki doesnt get screentime ever and ogata twins are too obvious for how much emphasis the ranmaru scene was given)
the kudan, Kurahashi.
but wait, you say, we know he's a youkai. he's got horns. we've seen him use his abilities.
but consider everything else. how often he interacts with Ebisu. how often he sticks his neck out for Ebisu
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(i also have a lot of Thoughts abt the part timing incident, specifically his prediction
in his first appearance, he mentioned he couldn't see Haru's future well (because of his exorcism power, which, mind you, still don't know how that works exactly)
wouldn't be a stretch to think that his prediction wouldn't/can't take a god's interference into account. the thug was going to say "the customer is god" either way, but there's also the possibility that the moment kurahashi stepped in, his prediction of "toubyou get punched" couldn't play out exactly so the totally different thing of Ebisu stepping in happened. anyway)
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it's not like any individual event incriminates him, rather how frequently it happens. in fact, kurahashi has been involved almost every time Ebisu appears. (put it another way, Ebisu's only major appearances where Kurahashi wasn't involved in some way was this chapter, and the youkai train)
adding on to that, we don't have any info on what his personal life is like, odd considering the amount of screentime he gets. (all of this is relevant to this chapter bc this would have been the perfect opportunity to show his parents, IF HE HAS ANY) the only things we know about his personal life is he's in the basketball club??? and that he was "raised to help people in trouble" whatever "raised" or "help" or "trouble" means
and now, the final nail in the coffin: this alternate cover that came with the 2021 december gfantasy issue
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(oh yeah its also my blog header)
none of the official images of it included the flap with ranmaru, and previously i was willing to believe it's just a coincidence for 4 characters related to gods and kurahashi to be on the back cover together, but now that i've seen the whole thing, i feel like ranmaru being there seals the deal that it's intentional
count em, 5 whole characters, basically every major character that is/was a god, and one kurahashi yuuta, who we know nothing about despite his frequent appearances? kinda sus
and now, to return to the first question, isn't he a youkai? horns and youkai powers and all?
and to that i say: he could be another creature. we've just seen an example of this, suzaku, divine fire bird, becoming a tengu, which is also a bird
looking up kudan, it has been theorized that it's based off another mythical creature: the Bai Ze (or Hakutaku), a divine cow-like beast from china, who shares many characteristics with the kudan, only difference being it's associated with good luck instead of misfortune
ok this is kind of a nonsense theory but can you imagine. at the very least, theres a lot of very sus things about kurahashi specifically regarding ebisu. on the off chance he is a bai ze, it would make this image very funny
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beniko the zashiki warashi, an auspicious youkai; sano the god of pestilence, but as a person brings haruaki good luck; and then kurahashi, whats his deal man?
thats all i have to say! lemme paste this into google docs for a word count-
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oh. oh no. what the fuck how did this happen wasnt this a tl note
anyway hope u enjoyed this tl-note-turned-ebisu-kurahashi-analysis post! there's still way more i could analyse of ebisu and i'll probably do that someday. i could pick apart every word he says and still not know what his deal is
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austronauts · 2 years
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the mitch marner (emotional support twink) primer
this originally existed as an unhinged googledoc I made for my friend and myself but more people started asking for it so I’m transferring it to my tumblr instead.  I apologize in advance for uh, everything about this really.  also thank you to all the tumblrs i link here!!!!!!!!!!!  i’ll update/edit this as the need arises.
Sections are organized as follows:
general soft boy shit (aka “hes just a little dude...but my god is he loud”)
Mitch & his many dads/older brothers: aka Mitch and his Daddy Issues aka Why does every older man on your team become your dad? Why does every older man on your team come to take you under his muscular wing & come to view you as a yappy little pursedog that must be protected? WHY??????  (This section spiraled out of my control. I’m sorry)
Mitch Marner/Dylan Strome: ALSO an analysis of how auston needs to do better bc Dylan is a fellow SIMP and let me tell you: THEIR MUTUAL LOVESICK PUPPY behavior IS SOME GOOD SHIT
Mitch Marner/Auston Matthews: The vegan macaron/hunky meatwall (with mustache) ship that keeps me nourished and hydrated
SECTION 1: Primer & Soft Boy Shit
I’m not really going to talk about Mitch’s career and skills and all that because that’s what wikipedia pages are for. And if you ever watch Mitch play his skills are so so so obvious and mind-boggling. I’m just going to go straight into the sicko shit of what makes me want to like... gnaw on him like a chewtoy and squeeze him like a gogurt packet until he explodes.
https://pyrexic.tumblr.com/post/133980108208/if-anyone-wanted-to-know-what-happens-when-you  I actually put this up top because this…I think is the most important primer you could read before delving into this monstrous documentation of my insanity. Why, you ask? Because it reveals a huge part of Mitch’s essence: someone who constantly wants and needs affection, is always giving affection, and seems almost embarrassingly transparent about it. Like, I grew up with jocks my whole life and have SEEN how toxic their social media is + how performative masculinity prevents them from showing vulnerability and affection. So, obviously this is a cherry-picked selection of tweets, but I do find it sweet that he doesn’t seem to shy away from public declarations of love or acting like a puppy with a twitter account. 
This other mitch marner primer that’s far better than mine and gives you more insight into mitch’s life and how unbearably soft and squishy he is
https://theathletic.com/2469915/2021/03/25/mitch-marner-ohl-season/ An article that talks about what Mitch was like before he debuted in the NHL. THIS IS SUCH A GOOD ARTICLE but does have a paywall…if you don’t have a subscription, copy+pasting the athletic link into here should allow you to bypass
This episode of Connor Carrick (one of his former teammates)’s podcast that Mitch is featured on gives so much insight into Mitch’s personality and the guiding principles he tries to live by in sports and life. He’s just so genuinely caring and soft. CARING AND SOFT.
https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/157908305701/theres-no-need-to-size-up-mitch-marner An entire article about how small Mitch is basically? I include it here bc of the part where Matt Martin (Mitch’s first Leaf Dad) makes fun of Mitch for being tiny lmao
https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/155875792161 Just some soft boop images of Mitch Marner barnacle-ing himself onto various different meaty men “Dylan, what should people know about Mitch?” “He loves cuddling” AhahahaHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA oh my goddddddd
https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/157080767571/im-so-bitter-about-the-fact-that-they-made-him Auston saying Mitch’s cheeriness in the morning is a bit too much sometimes lmao. He looks GENUINELY tired and fed up. It’s great
https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/156622951361/bonus-when-talking-about-mitch-and-auston EARNEST BABY KNOW-IT-ALL MITCHY Also Matthew Tkachuk talking about how loud Mitch is.  Mitch being really loud is a KNOWN THING (Morgan Rielly: “he just never shuts up”)
https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/178636861456/auston-he-mitch-is-notorious-for-watching “Mitch is notorious for watching these kids cartoons movies,” said known cinephile auston matthews
https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/157524671086/mitch-marner-rockin-those-knee-high-socks-since Just a knobby-kneed cutie :’’’)
https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/166824930006/a-guy-that-is-so-small-poor-mitchy-lol “A guy that is so small.” “A GUY THAT IS SO SMALL”
https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/172351445501 “Just a fun goofy kid” :’’’) wow they love their pup
https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/159612343906/yes-keep-on-praising-my-son-please Just some players praising rookie Mitch for his skill…and ofc talking about how small he is lmao
SECTION 2: ZADDY! Mitch the baby leaf & His Team of (ex-) Leaf Dads. (aka Mitch anytime he meets a man even 1 day older than him: Hello are u my dad? HI DAD)
So i think it’s important to preface this section with the note that Mitch has a definite habit of attaching himself to any older player he can consider a father figure/older brother. He says things like “he takes care of me,” or “I feel taken care of,” or “I feel protected,” when talking about these teammates, which makes it ABUNDANTLY clear that Mitch really really really wants to feel protected and safe (wats mitch’s love language? just being a little dude!). I’m not going to psychoanalyze here… but I do think it’s interesting that Mitch’s dad is notorious for being a “Hockey Dad” who pushed Mitch relentlessly on and off the ice, and has antagonized himself somewhat in the media and from the Maple Leafs team for toxic behavior. (For reference, I’ll just share This documentary about Mitch when he was really young ) I know Mitch loves his dad and that Mitch wouldn’t be where he is without that passion and sacrifice from his parents, and I cannot IMAGINE everything Mitch’s dad did to help Mitch get where he is in his career. But at the same time, Mitch’s hunger for older supportive father figures who will “protect” and “take care of” him seems much more pronounced than any other athlete i’ve followed. Because Mitch has so many dads, this part is broken into subsections, ordered by increasing significance lmao. The 2 MOST important dads are at the end (Matt Martin, Patrick Marleau)
Dad Subsection: Random Assortment of dads/older brothers
https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/159281136646/so-i-just-asked-who-mitchs-roomie-on-the-road-is Zach Hyman - not that much older than Mitch. Still dad
https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/686879090146492416/travisdermott-x Zach Hyman - seeing/hearing Mitch singing loudly during his media interview
https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/685016310642622464/oilers-leafs-january-5-2022 Zach Hyman - complimenting Mitch and calling him “Mitchy” even after he got traded to a rival team. 
https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/684698381637025792 Zach Hyman - just really loves Mitch a lot!
https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/684698793746300928/a-little-nerdy-kid Nathan Mackinnon - putting this here because this isn’t really DAD content per se but it is one of the cutest fucking things I’ve ever read. Nathan Mackinnon really EMPHASIZES how small Mitch is at least THREE times. This entire interview is literally Nate just going “Minch is just a little dude and I’m going to kidnap him” over and over again? The hilarious thing is - according to their official NHL profiles they are the same height lmao (although Nathan has ~13 kgs on Mitch) WHAT IS THE TRUTH?
https://9116.tumblr.com/post/680170009989906432 Again, Mo isn’t really a DAD per se, but this video of Mitch feeding Mo a timbit is adorable. Also, Mo is just great. 
https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/159731626681/someone-had-the-guts-to-touch-mitch-so-papa-bozie Tyler Bozak - dad. And DAD PROTECC
https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/685458623405703168/willynylanders-why-are-you-so-happy-me Mitch hugging James van Riemsdyk like a little koala bear because why not?
https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/158514417666/mitch-kicking-the-puck-jvr-standing-up-for-his James van Riemsdyk - who “RARELY FIGHTS” - standing up immediately for Mitch and fighting the opposing team player who hit Mitch. They love their little son. Honestly seeing how much Mitch is loved by the older players is one of the most endearing things I’ve ever seen with my tired cynical eyeballs.  Mitch also vacationed with JVR (and Justin Holl who will get his own subsection) in Italy this summer. 
https://brandoncarlo.tumblr.com/post/161798964692/sorry-brian Brian Boyle - chirping Mitch for his poor baseball skills. Mitch, earnestly responding - “Sorry, Brian”
https://brandoncarlo.tumblr.com/post/158757352277/theyre-all-bullies Brian Boyle - casual bullying is a hockey dad’s greatest love language
https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/156925254931/please-let-the-chin-grab-forever-be-a-thing-it This is how you do a goal celly with a baby, apparently. a little chin grabbing
https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/156292739506/glovesdropped-one-thing-these-kids-bring-to-the This is how you do a goal celly with a baby Part II
https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/156416870286/a-pup-with-his-dad-and-two-uncles-3 Mitch and his adoring circle of dads
Dad Subsection: Zach Bogosian
During Covid, Zach’s wife and kids were stuck in the States, so Mitch and his fiancee invited Zach to live with them. Zach is 8 yrs older than Mitch and looks at least 15 yrs older (I mean this in a complimentary way to both lmao). 
https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/684638392862048257/its-just-intensely-precious-that-bogo-wasnt-with Their special handshake!
https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/683014218066411520 Special handshake again! (
https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/684638108496642048 They went on vacation together (also please note the size difference of bogo’s and mitch’s HANDS????????? Bogo’s GIANT POTLID HANDS vs. Mitch’s dainty little hands)
https://twitter.com/kristen_shilton/status/1441424046772482053 Interviewer: what is it like to live with Zach? Mitch: well first of all Zach is a DADDY
https://www.sportsnet.ca/nhl/video/bogosian-marner-living-together/?show_id=13373 Zach talking about what it was like to live with Mitch. Zach is a pretty good and enthusiastic interviewer (compared to other hockey players who have the off-ice charisma and eloquence of a rock covered in dead grass bits), but the way his face - especially his eyes - visibly soften when he starts talking about living with Mitch?? Yes I’m reading into shit way too much but you can tell how genuine his affection for Mitch and Steph is.
Dad subsection: Justin Holl
Justin also lived with Mitch during Covid and apparently have the closest friendship on the Leafs (devastating day for all auston/mitch shippers. I jest but seriously. Noone knew that they were that close until recently and we were all shook).
Ok I already have a Mitch/Justin primer here so am just going to link that https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/686949261073645568/wait-justin-holl-lore-as-a-verified-lore
https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/682592207827517441 Vacationing together in Miami *They vacationed together again this summer in Italy and Paris
https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/686698201859915776/dermott-via-12jholls-instagram-story-december Spending Christmas together
https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/682365966615805952/mitch-just-getting-bullied-x Casual bullying
Dad Subsection: Nazem Kadri
https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/171446123931 Nazem Kadri - DAD
https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/159349132011/ive-had-thorough-conversations-with-all-of-them NAZEM KADRI - DAD AGAIN (also “mitch is my special project” is so cute wtf)
https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/686422919286587392/anzekopistar-thank-you-naz-for-this-blessing Mitch looking like a tumescent little THUMB in Naz’s instagram story (of the 2 of them hanging out at a baseball game together)
https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/684926483647627264/tysbarrie-post-game-nazem-kadri-january-25 It’s the way Naz’s entire face softens into a fond smile when he notices Mitch for me. WHYyYYyy
https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/684926399776194560/travisdermott-from-a-teammates-point-of-view An excellent comprehensive set of Mitch + Naz moments
https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/682260490254254080/actual-puppy-mitch-marner I love that Naz’s instinct with Mitch is to actually treat him like a puppy lmao. No but forreal I find this gif so endearing it makes me want to gnash my teeth and run into the woods.
https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/681995581230612480/andersens-source Naz is the “cool dad”  part 1 - Mitch and Naz playing pranks on unsuspecting teammates and finding it the most hilarious thing on this planet
https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/685561480832303104/weewillynylanders-nazem-kadri-vs-mitch-marner Naz is the “cool dad” part 2 - gamer bros
https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/160854392336 Nazem Kadri posts instagram pic. Son Mitch complains that he’s not tagged in it. He is not tagged in it because HE IS NOT IN THE PHOTO. Dad Nazem tags Mitch anyway. LOVE THIS
https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/157791804906/but-guys-mitch-used-this-for-his-new-instagram Where Mitch - with the use of a single emoji - emphatically declared “I’m baby.”
THE VERY IMPORTANT SUBSECTION: MATT MARTIN - so it turns out that Matt was the ultimate OG team dad/older brother/emotional support jock for Mitch when he was a wee rookie. Their relationship is actually the cutest fucking thing and i may scream right now in this club. The most important part of Their Lore is that when Mitch was a rookie, the Leafs’ then coach Mike Babcock did this terrible thing of asking Mitch to rank all his teammates (literally ALL older and more experienced than him) by work ethic. Babcock presumably did this to teach Mitch that Mitch needed to work harder, but my GOD, what an incredibly shitty thing to do to a rookie. Anyway, Mitch made this list and put himself down last, which is probably what Babcock intended. THe real shitty thing Babcock did though was to TELL the Leafs that Mitch ranked in the bottom 3 that MITCH RANKED THEM IN THE BOTTOM 3. Again, I cannot emphasize enough - what the fuck and WHY would you do this to a rookie who’s trying to adjust to the NHL and fit into the team??? Anyway, to give massive amounts of credit to the Leafs here (because we know of a lot of toxic lockerrooms that would not have done the same), they all defended Mitch (who literally cried when this happened because of course you would!). Matt Martin, however, got HEATED in particular and apparently got into a fight with Babcock that escalated so much that other teammates needed to intervene. Apparently this massive break in the relationship between Babcock and Matt Martin was one of the factors that led to Matt Martin getting traded to the Islanders soon after. But anyway, they still seem to be close (Mitch went to Matt Martin’s wedding; Matt Martin LITERALLY wears a Mitch jersey - NOT FROM HIS MAPLE LEAFS DAYS BUT FROM MITCH’S PRE-NHL LONDON KNIGHTS DAYS; Matt Martin wore a chain/necklace with Mitch’s jersey number - 16 - on it at his own wedding. WHAT IS GOING ON???? Matt Martin’s now wife Sydney also treats Mitch like a son & was an older sister figure for Mitch’s fiancee Steph etc. no honestly if you don’t let me stop i will go on forever so just please muzzle me and drag me away from my laptop this instant)
Also there’s genuinely so much Mitch/Matt moments so I’m sorry to do this but I must direct you to my Matt Martin tag because there’s more here. I do tend to reblog the same things over and over again mostly due to my shit memory, but THIS IS REALLY the most comprehensive Matt/Mitch shit out there I GUARANTEE YOU. if u dont believe me we can make a bet about it on draftkings or whatever shit wayne gretzky is shilling out there these days.
With this incredibly long preface out of the way, I now present:
Leaf to Leaf video between Matt & Mitch part 1 This is literally…the flirting and sexual tension - this is why toronto maple leafs deleted this video from their channel i just know it. No but seriously - their playful chirping (and Mitch trying to insult Matt twice and immediately backing down because Mitch Marner is BAD AT VERBAL JABS), their agreement to go to Italy TOGETHER just THE TWO OF THEM, THE BLINDFOLDED SENSUOUS MAPLE SYRUP TASTING. SIR, WHAT IS GOING ON. FELLAS IS IT GAY?
Leaf to Leaf video between Matt & Mitch Part 2  The actual Part 2 has disappeared into the void of the internet but this video has most of it - the argument about who’s better at Monopoly. HELP. They’re both so fucking dumb and I’m going to eat them.
https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/166941715371  i am being attacked
lichtrally the sweetest photo of all time I WILL NOT STOP YELLING
https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/166775411676 Mitch basically - “ok so Matt Martin is my dad”
https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/156678922086/dare-013117 Dad introduces son to the dark art of smelling salts
Matt on defending Mitch from opponent players: “Noone touches my Mitchy.”
https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/155931985081/credit-httpswwwredditcomrleafscomments5o2 MORE DAD SON SUPERSTITIONS AND BONDING
https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/158789962401/huggsies-after-the-win-against-the-devils Dad son hug
https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/156196438546 Dad-son connection. DAD SON VACATION!
THEE MOST IMPORTANT DAD SUBSECTION: MITCH MARNER/PATRICK MARLEAU
So Patty joined the Leafs in 2017, and became Auston and Mitch’s official team dad. Like, Patty literally called Auston and Mitch his 5th and 6th sons several times. Again, I must direct you to my Patrick Marleau tag if you, like me, are a feral internet raccoon that enjoys dumpster diving for CoNtEnT.
But some key moments: 
The Patrick Marleau & Mitch Marner Leaf to Leaf: Part 1 Part 2 Many cute and questionable moments (for example, why does Mitch call a stick figure a pencil man…I genuinely do not understand. Is this a Canadian thing or a Mitch Marner thing (something I have asked myself one too many times), but the most devastating moment is when Mitch asks “what advice would you give me?” and Patty says this. WITH THE SOFT MELLIFLUOUS PIANO IN THE BACKGROUND THAT THE LEAFS VIDEO EDITORS TOTALLY ADDED TO EMOTIONALLY MANIPULATE ME INTO EXPERIENCING ONE (1) FEELING….ITS JUST A LOT
 Patty’s Player’s Tribune message after he retired - the part where he talks about Auston and Mitch especially. Cool cool cool im fine im fine
Mitch, Auston, and Patty getting interviewed by Elliotte Friedman - this is where they talk about how they became close. I think I noted this above somewhere but they bonded by watching Cars 3 together while eating dessert. Mitch and Patty were on one bed. I don’t know how to explain it but this is the most Mitch Marner thing ever, including the dubious choice of movie. I mean, Cars 3? Thee worst Pixar film?
https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/685443729556979712/cmarleau-our-summer-nights-are-side-note Lmaooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. WHAT is happening.
Mitch & Auston talking about Patty being an old boring dad
https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/682173512704819200/tysegs-marnsmallow-id-just-like-to-point-out When your biological son wears SOCKS with your adopted son on them, I believe that’s when you can say you’ve reached the absolute pinnacle of fatherhood.
Patty, his wife, and kids being interviewed The best part is when they ask the kids who the best mini-sticks player in their family is, and the exchange between 2 kids go like this: [Who’s the best mini-sticks player] Kid 1 (they dont show who’s speaking here so I don’t know!): MITCH! Kid 2: no they mean in OUR family Kid 1: he IS in our family! 
Section 3: MITCH MARNER/DYLAN STROME: SWEET PUPPY LOVE & BLATANTLY SACCHARINE PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION The real enemies-to-lovers narrative was coming from inside the house (house: the 2015 nhl draft kids)
https://pyrexic.tumblr.com/post/133979944708/the-ballad-of-mitch-and-dylan The Mitch / Dylan primer
https://live-in-fury.tumblr.com/post/146582256497/talk-more-about-stromemarner-i-like-reading The Mitch / Dylan primer part 2
https://mcdavid97.tumblr.com/post/128125813011/the-selfie-result taking derpy selfies together: LMAO
https://crosbs.tumblr.com/post/137934824037/stromarner-firing-it-up-again Dylan Strome to Mitch: “hi bae”
https://hawkwardly.tumblr.com/post/133383650832/smiley-rielly-dylan-stromes-player-cam Dylan & Mitch: being idiot hotel roomies together
https://dwstrome.tumblr.com/post/144624590772/last-hug-first-hug Just 2 boops cuddling
https://live-in-fury.tumblr.com/post/152401123377/do-you-ever-think-about-softstromarner-because-i Literally Dylan Strome: “I love you”
https://wonthetrade.tumblr.com/post/156469676980/in-that-third-gif-of-the-marner-dropping-the-puck Soft boys!!! Also comparing the Mitch/Dylan ship to Mitch/Auston is so interesting bc of how different Dylan and Auston are? It seems Dylan at least MATCHES Mitch’s enthusiasm for simping and cuddling and physical affection and like…wow…Auston…do better!!
https://jasonspezzas.tumblr.com/post/646313515096899584/look-all-im-saying-is-trade-alex-kerfoot-for THEY BOTH LOVE CUDDLING. HOW DO THEY KNOW THIS?
https://virtanucks.tumblr.com/post/155427979527/fruit-salad-by-dylan-strome-feat-mitch-marner Just 2 puppies attacking fruit
Addendum: Mitch’s relationship with Dylan AND Connor Mcdavid aka the 3 top canadian boys from the 2015 NHL draft is really sweet. Most of the Mitch/Connor stuff is captured in my connor mcdavid tag But some additional mitch/dylan/connor stuff - The 2015 NHL draft everglades tour, The 2015 NHL draft baseball game, and this photo I find adorable
SECTION 4: Auston/Mitch Auston/Mitch are the most popular ship out there so I’m going to keep this section relatively concise because, but some cute highlights from MY perspective.
ok honestly - i have some stuff down below but nothing will be as important, comprehensive, or heartbreaking as this incredible 1634 primer written by @typicaltk
https://zoehickel.tumblr.com/post/154354808778/okay-but-auston-and-mitch-canonically-drive This primer is 5 yrs old but i guess in some ways it is the library of alexandria of 1634. So let’s start here.
 I dont have links for this because it’s like eminently obvious in every single photo of them but their size difference is basically...[longest yeah boy in the world.mp4]
One of my favorite things about Mitch and Auston is Mitch’s devotion to gassing Auston up in every media appearance he does: The NHL players discuss fashion trends video - Mitch’s response for everything is “Well I can’t pull that off but u know who can? AUSTON. I JUST THINK HE’S NEAT. HEARD OF HIM?”  NHL players guess their NHL video game rankings video - please note Mitch’s OUTRAGE (and squeaky voice) at how low auston’s score is while auston himself is just “ok cool” 
https://mitchski.tumblr.com/post/181380540673/x The most important auston/mitch moment in my humble opinion. HE COULDN’T LET GO OF ME. 
https://mitchski.tumblr.com/post/181380206933/x i was looking respectfully* (*= this is a flagrant lie)
https://leafsgm.tumblr.com/post/680835740192718848/mitch-and-austons-heritage-classic-gloves-i they both draw smiley faces and shit on their gloves to remind themselves that hockey is supposed to be fun
https://9116.tumblr.com/post/184088746020/mitch-marner-shot-by-auston-matthews-apple have u ever wondered what mitch looks like from auston’s perspective. now u know
auston chirping mitch on social media:  mitch’s poor baseball skills (ft. mitch’s scrawny butt wiggling lmao)  auston not responding well to mitch nagging auston for instagram tags  auston chirping mitch on instagram then backtracking 
https://mitchski.tumblr.com/post/154732764998/x auston: mitch copies (derogatory) my style  mitch: i just copy (affectionate) auston :D *OK I think this deserves more scrutiny because clearly SOMETHING about this moment taught mitch the wrong lesson that adding a hat to any outfit officially elevates the outfit to FASHION, COUTURE, GLAMOUR. and i... give a man a fish u feed him for a day. teach a man about hats and u’ll be tormented with weird hat photos for the rest of ur life. that’s how the saying goes right
Mitch responding to Auston’s GQ photoshoot & trying to be supportive but failing (the moment comes towards the end of the video but including the entire link because he’s cute lol)
https://mitchski.tumblr.com/post/664607719503937536/x Auston complimenting Mitch’s karaoke skills
https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/680756976047865856/phillymyers-known-goon-mitch-marner-defends KNOWN TWINK GOON MITCH MARNER IMMEDIATELY JUMPING INTO FIGHT A MUCH LARGER MAN FOR HIS MUCH LARGER FRIEND AUSTON MATTHEWS.  Mitch Marner’s fighting skills include: aggressive hugging, weaponized cuddling, ????????????????? 
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lokislytherin · 1 year
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random lookism q for you! which 2 characters (ideally those who barely have any interaction) would you want to see interact more? :)
hello jann i have so many combos how am i supposed to pick. ur so determined to make me write essays huh /j you know what im just gonna make this jay & various lookism characters that i wanna see him interact with bc he's been missing for so long this is my copium that he's been here all along
jay & mira
they are the housewives waiting for their husbands to come back from the war dynamic, but in jay's case he joined the war as a medic who can also fight on the frontlines bc he missed daniel. i like to think during the period of time their boys were gone, jay and mira became closer bc they were both lonely. think about it - daniel is undoubtedly jay's best friend and literally jay's only friend, while zack and mira have such a long history and the requited pining they have is so intense.
just imagine having to suffer through school alone... hence mira struck up a conversation (even tho she had no idea how to understand jay), and now they're kind of friends. maybe they're lonely bc they miss their boos but they're lonely together now, which makes things a lot better. mira still doesn't quite understand jay, but she Gets the pining, so that's a start. she doesn't know whether to root for emo introvert jay to get with daniel or social butterfly zoe, so for now she's just hoping they'll end up in a polyamorous relationship bc she doesn't want her friends to end up with broken hearts. according to zack (who finds the time to text her whenever he can bc he misses her a lot and his current canon break is bc they're hanging out like the lovebirds they are), daniel has also been picking up boyfriends left and right so the daniel ship might actually have more people than she originally thought, actually.
also they bond over fashion, because mira thinks jay needs to expand his closet. all jay has is designer suits (and the occasional biker jacket) and mira is the god of thrifting and cute fits! if you want the j high fashion boys in cute Normal People (read: proletariat) fits mira is your go-to
2. jay & zoe
once again, housewives waiting for their husband to come back from the war dynamic, but they've got the same dynamic. they are the co-captains of the daniel fan club and they constantly fight for first place. zoe is losing (because she's been away from canon even longer than jay) and she hates it (it's okay. she's realizing daniel is a very good friend, who is coincidentally very hot, but that's he's not exactly boyfriend material for her, for some reason. he's so bestie-coded).
zoe has 0 idea what jay's thinking 50% of the time, the other 50% of the time jay just goes :( so she just Knows he's thinking of daniel and missing him bc yeah. she does that too. it's just more obvious with jay because he doesn't show his eyes and that reduces his expression ability by a lot bc he's the most expressive with daniel, and when daniel's not there he's just _ . not even -_- he's just _ because he doesn't show his eyes so zoe can't even begin guessing what he's thinking. mira only gets him bc she's got the Nice Person Telepathy (it's called years of dealing with tsuntsun zack = pro body language reader)
i'm not gonna lie about jay he's very competitive towards her bc in his eyes zoe has a bigger chance than crystal? mainly bc crystal is so mean to daniel homegirl has 'Men DNI' in her eyes she exudes that energy while jay is hong jay homosexual gay and he's like yo. daniel please look over. hot boy in the area.
jay has never thought of out-sexy-ing zoe tho. zoe's assets are her medium is premium booba (she's only b cup but south korean average cup size is like a small a) and all jay has is his flat chest. even lookism tumblr barely believed in his booba until 2% of almost 300 people suddenly went actually it exists
3. jay & ryuhei
blond 🤝 motorbike 🤝 bathrobe + bath lovers (ryuhei is The Biggest onsen lover and you can fight me on this + jay is canonical bath haver) 🤝 in love with a dark haired person who will probably never look at them the way they want them to.
i hc they actually met once while being on their bikes, but both of them had their helmets on (bc safety first! daniel/mitsuki would be sad/annoyed if they died riding their bikes which is not ideal). ryuhei nodded over like 'yo nice ducati dugati bro' and jay nodded back like 'thanks bro' and it was a moment of Mutual Understanding bc of Biker Language
also i just really wanna know how they would interact in canon? my hc of them meeting was off-screen bc i'm sure both of them have more to do with their lives but what if they fought each other. weapon user to weapon user. kali arnis user jay vs ryuhei with his chain bat. two blond boys trying to bonk each other to death until they realize they're both simps actually. and then they bond via trash talk (ryuhei) and getting triggered every time ryuhei mentions romance (jay) and then bonk each other some more bc NO WAY THIS WEIRDO IS NOT MY KINNIE
4. jay & samuel seo
sanest person in the verse fights complete utter nutjob, but both of them believe that they are the sane person and the other guy is the nutjob. samuel seo's like WHO'S THIS BLOND FREAK WHY IS HE CHASING ME WITH A BB GUN and jay's like GET BACK HERE SO I CAN SHOOT YOUR GIANT TITS RIGHT OFF AS PAYBACK FOR BULLYING DANIEL. GET YOUR ASS HERE OR I'LL RIP YOUR BOTOX TITS OFF AND FEED IT TO MIRO AND EDEN BC 1) GOOD SNACK FOR THEM 2) MY PUPS ONLY DESERVE PREMIUM STEAK
tbf jay's not saying anything he's just exuding Murderous Energy (think jay in ch435) so ofc samuel's confused. this blond twink doesn't speak he's just chasing samuel with a bb gun
5. jay & gun
GUNJAY PARALLELS. THAT'S IT THAT'S THE TWEET
i've got more about the GunJay Parallels in another post which i am honestly too lazy to link bc u've probably alr seen it but i just wanna see the two daniel simps fight each other yk. i know jay's gonna get his ass beat to hell and back but i believe in Protective Hong Jaeyeol and Possessive Hong Jaeyeol rights like this perv is the guy daniel's been training with?? this is the bastard who basically tortured daniel bc daniel wanted to learn how to fight and be stronger??? oh boy the minute jay finds out about what gun did to daniel he'll sic the law on gun. or poison him
bc i believe in dumbhead!gun and STEM kid!jay supremacy.
jay, copying the anime he watched with daniel: お前はもう... 死んでいる!
gun, who received 0 intel about jay and wondering who tf this Blond Bastard™ is: 뭐?! この바보は누구
daniel, who only knows bits and pieces of jp bc he's an avid anime watcher: gun wtf is wrong with u.
daniel: also omg jay hi <3
jay, immediately: /////// <3
(that's him blushing btw)
i also want more interactions with jay and vasco and jay and zack and jay and johan and-
i could go on forever
thank you for the ask jann! wow this is. long
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13tinysocks · 2 years
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do you have any tips on writing humor and good dialogue in fics? I struggle a lot with it for some reason :P (also im real sorry if you answered an ask like this and i didn't see it)
I always have a hard time answering this question in particular because honestly dialogue is pretty natural for me. But! When I am stuck I first think of where I want the larger plot or the (usually character driven) scene to end. Identify your end goal and have the character(s) converse to drive the scene/plot toward it. But also you have to keep in mind what is in character for that person to say. Some character's won't give exposition while other's will. Some are cryptic, some are downright stupid. You also have to keep in mind their background, as in, what is their dilect. How do they speak?
For example, Tim and Brian are characters we know were raised in the deep south. So I try to type the way a stereotypical southerner speaks. Sorta like this 'n shit. (It) Helps to cut off certain words from the start of sentences to make speech more informal which makes it more casual. I take words that end in -ing and cut off the g almost entirely. The more emotional they are the fewer g's you'll see. "Yer not gettin' away this time." Feel free to misspell words solely for style and to further get across to your reader that this person is speaking with an accent. Look up videos of people with specific accents speaking if you need a reference.
As for humor, try not to force it. Personally, I put in whatever feels natural to me. But as a person, my humor is bound to be different from yours and the audience. So I try not to have "bits" last too long out of worry they'd be obnoxious. While also having sillier bits of observation or dialogue splicing more serious scenes, almost like an island in the middle of an ocean. Thing is, humor is more personal to the writer and you'll mostly have to learn to insert humor into your writing through trial and error. I know there are plenty of scenes in Spill Your Guts that I deeply regret being too obnoxious and violently unfunny. I also learned what I liked and didn't like while reading other people's writing. While reading note what you enjoy about their humor. Is it subtle? Obvious? When does it typically happen? Take these beats and try incorporating them into your own writing.
Please note that I am not a professional. I just write horror porn in my free time. Thank you.
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mezimraky · 6 years
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another one of those deeply self-reflective philosophical observations: my dream of living in an abandoned cottage in the middle of nowhere stems from the fact that i am so used to catering to other people in my life, always putting others first and never skipping a chance, that i wonder if i can only ever truly be myself when i am alone, and the thought is just so intriguing-- that i could find myself somewhere, find peace and value in me and then and only then accept guests, as guests into the life that is mine alone
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crazyw3irdo · 2 years
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i don't have an actual tweet thing for batfam twitter au/dickwing au/whatever im calling this for today so here's some headcanons(?) for that au (are they headcanons if you're the one making the au? eh some of these are just headcanons for the characters in general so i guess it still applies)
-bruce has been batman for a couple of decades now, he started in his early 20s and now he's in his late 40s
-the public thinks of bruce as this well-meaning (albeit himbo leaning) dad whose trying his best. back when he first started being batman his public bruce persona was just very much happy-go-lucky himbo (how can bruce be batman? bruce doesn't even know how to tie his shoelaces) but he's now graduated to tired dad (how can bruce be batman? he has six kids to take care of and a company to run)
-and yeah six kids, duke is officially adopted into the wayne family in this
-no, alfred does not have a twitter. he's got too much to deal with already. however, he does know everyone's account information, so yknow, in case a masked vigilante gets beat up really bad then it's not like their civilian account suddenly stops posting
-and yeah alfred is alive. he cannot die. i refuse to believe it. i'm already saying fuck canon i'm not stopping now
-i've seen people in the tags asking/speculating about this, but i've been going on the assumption that each character has two phones: one for vigilante-ing and one for civilian-ing. if one gets stolen or hacked then its not like the thief will suddenly have access to their identity. plus it's not like bruce can't afford multiple phones.
-dick started dickwing because he was bored and thought it would be funny; it becoming a "well no one will think dick grayson is nightwing because they're dating" thing was 100% unintentional but also 100% the immediate excuse he gave when asked by the rest of the fam why he did that.
-dick is a theatre kid. which is obvious from the way i've been writing him but i felt it needed to be said again. i wanna say his fave musical would be newsies but i haven't seen newsies personally so,, i mean, of the musicals i really like and am familiar with, i'd say it'd be cats. now if you're familiar with cats you're like "okay yeah i can see it" but if you only know about it from that terrible movie let me justify myself: it's a dance-heavy musical with lots of amazing feats of athleticism in the dances. also, look up what rum tum tugger looks like in the actual show and then remember dick's discowing costume. i'm right about this.
-cass still doesn't know how to read. she uses a text to speech program to have things read out for her. she's also mostly nonverbal
-babs uses a wheelchair in this. i know some canon stuff does the whole "yeah but she got better" but once again i don't like canon
-no one in this family is neurotypical but the ones i feel most strongly about are bruce and cass are autistic and dick has adhd. pretty sure they all have some form of ptsd too but ngl that seems kind of obvious. and yes bruce being autistic is canon i love reminding people of this :3
-speaking of canon things i like reminding people of because it's often ignored in canon, dick is romani! and bruce is jewish!
-bruce, dick, steph, and tim are bi. or yknow, some kind of mspec, i don't think dick is a big fan of labels, steph probably says she's whatever sexuality makes her joke funnier, and tim is still figuring it out. babs is also bi and that is solely because my mom is bi and babs is her favorite character. cass is a lesbian and you could tell me jason, dami, and duke are whatever sexuality you want and i'd believe you. ngl i don't personally feel comfortable giving dami a sexuality hc myself bc i don't really like shipping/imagining child character in relationships but eh you do you as long as its not actually sexual
-genderwise dick is nb. i am nb and he's my favorite character. i have the right. he's fine w all pronouns but mostly uses he/they. once again he's not really a labels kind of guy. and yes i am still obsessed with that official post that used they/them for damian i know they didn't mean it but yes he/they damian my beloved. also she/they selina kyle.
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humbletumblecrudi · 2 years
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Hello! May i request kabedon headcanons (or whatever is easiest for you) with leona, jade and rook? Im just in the mood to be kabedoned (>/////<) Thank you~
Thank you for asking this! I'm not the best at cliches or trope based asks so it might be a bit short! Also, I made the Reader's reaction blank for all my Reader's, as not everyone finds a kabedon position as big a deal! (人 •͈ᴗ•͈)
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🛑 DISCLAIMER: Kabedon, but no domineering personality. All parties are on equal footing.
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Synopsis: Reader gets a taste of kabedon (accidentally and purposefully), and figured out how to shut it down!
Ships: Leona × GN!Reader, Rook × GN!Reader, Jade × GN!Reader
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~ ❝𝐋𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐚 𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐫❞
▪️ Leona is a tempered lion, but he's not the most sudden or easy to get a rise off of. Slights are different though, he has his pride to nurse.
▪️ Leona can be hot-blooded and/or spontaneous in short bursts, as it's in his nature when he wants to do anything he'll do it as soon as possible before he loses interest or drive. After all, if it's not worth doing, don't do it…
▪️ And if he can get in your face about his affection, he'll do it. He'll tease and mess with you if he sees you being affectionate, as that's just how he shows he likes you back.
▪️ I can imagine Leona kabedon-ing you in one of two situations: lazily he can sneak one hand up behind you and slam his hand against the wall to scare you, or he can be teasing you to lean gently against the wall to brutishly lean in to hover above your lips.
▪️ Either way, he doesn't care about your height much and will go in for the kabedon if he wants. And you can easily kiss him to catch him off guard… for a second, he'll passionately kiss you back!
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~ ❝𝐑𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐇𝐮𝐧𝐭❞
▪️ He'll say it and say it again, he's in love with you! Oh, how he'll love you more and more! He will be very happy to be by your side and to talk to you daily!
▪️ But, he likes to tease you just a tad. He's a hunter, and he likes to coax things out of individuals (but do not worry, you are no experiment or prey, dearest) for the reaction!
▪️ He sometimes does sneak up on you, or accidentally takes the fastest path to you and basically scares you with his quiet feet. He sometimes calls for you when he's in the trees and blows kisses where nobody can see him! 
▪️ So a kabedon from Rook is more incidental then intentional. He is Pomefiore's Vice Housewarden and his posture is immaculate, as Vil's right hand should, so he's not the type to lean on anything… but he is the type to use his shoulder against a door to hold it open.
▪️ It's just before he opens it for you, he reaches past you to open the door and welcome you in, but not before he was basically talking to you from behind your shoulder. It was brief, but it was obvious. But you were too busy with each other to notice. 
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~ ❝𝐉𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐋𝐞𝐞𝐜𝐡❞
▪️ The subtle and aesthetic eel, who just loves your reaction to anything that he can muster. Mushrooms, please give feedback? His notes, please give feedback? His aesthetic? Doesn't need any tips, but he'll listen to your thoughts!
▪️ So, strangely, he actually would do a kabedon on purpose, but he's not domineering. Jade has an immaculate poker face when he tries, but even while cornering you, he might crack a smile. Kiss him and jostle him a bit to throw off his kabedon, it's easy.
▪️ Kabedon is rare, if not maybe a three month gap thing. Unless you find it cute or attractive, he might not do it unless you ask for it (just don't call him cute out loud, he might give you the affectionate silent treatment, LOL).
▪️ Is actually far more interested if you kabedon him back, and maybe perhaps in semi-public (*le gasp*)! His hands full of papers in the empty cafeteria hallway and you leaning on one arm to kabedon him, oh my! Makes a(n) (eel)man feel attractive!
▪️ Kabedon on either side ends with a kiss, and smiles. He never kabedon's you if you look stressed, and don't do it to him if he's stressed. Respect the boundary. 
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bsdthings · 3 years
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Open requests i see 👀???
Hmmm maybe Dazai (and kunikida if you take more than one person) with an unusually pretty ada!s/o???
And sometimes they would be on a date and see random people fangirl/boy-ing over her, kind of like the same way characters fawn over Komi-san from Komi can't communicate? (Because haha funni)
Im not sure if you write headcanons or scenarios, but any would work. Hopefully this is not too much to ask for and take your time! ヽ(*・ω・)ノ
Yes, open and willing to be written! :3 I do take more than one character, but I will do separate posts about them for the simple reason of organization :3 I admit I had to search Komi-san as I didn't know her so I hope it'll end up how you wish 😅
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Osamu Dazai
Dazai x Reader!drop dead gorgeous
Hints of: jealousy, obsessive behavior (stalking), possessiveness, Dazai typical suicidal antics (nothing too serious, tho)
Dazai isn't the type to be jealous in the first place. He has some kind of possessiveness within him, but it doesn't oftenly show or, at least, not in obvious ways.
When he first met you, though, he felt weak to the knees: how does a lady dare be so pretty AND single?!
When he discovered you're his colleague in ADA too, it felt like he won the jackpot when you accepted to go out with him.
Now, you're together, and Dazai is anything but insecure. And yet—
Yet, he's totally pissed by the way people don't seem to get that you're taken. Hello, your dearest boyfriend is right here??
Shortly, you're at the cafeteria in the same building as ADA, drinking your coffee, eating a cake and basically just enjoying your time together when another man dares to look at you too long and actually come to you right in front of him. As if he didn't even exist.
"Such a beautiful lady blessing my eyes! Your hair is like the waves of the sea, made out of silk and cherished by the Gods, your eyes are the deepness of oceans and as addicting as life itself, breathing hope into people's souls—"
That man truly has the guts to take your hand into his.
Now, Dazai might be on the side that saves people, and he totally understands you are so beautiful that even Gods would be jealous of you and would worship you as you're a real life capodopere but—
"I understand that my girlfriend is blessing your life with her existence, but you should know your place" his voice is low, cold, and his eyes are dark as he sits up right behind the man, clearly displeased, his fingers curling around the collar of that man's shirt and pulling him away from you.
"Now, where were we, my belladonna?" he'd smile, but you can clearly say he's one step away from strangling someone if they come too close again.
Of course it happens. How could it not? Especially with how sexy you are with your detective outfit, with how your hair softly caresses your cheeks, with how your eyes sparkle and your breath taking smile—
This time is a woman. And while Dazai is soft with women and a true gentleman—
"Excuse my vulgarity, darling, but you're so pretty! If you would permit me to have one single date with you, would bless me wih the chance to admire your unachievable—" the woman would slowly speak, tenderness in her voice, hands slowly tracing your shoulders—
Dazai is fuming.
"I'm sorry to interrupt this beautiful confession" he would start, but he totally isn't apologetic at all. "But Y/N is taken"
Stalkers are quite pretty common too. People just…follow you and confess to you and try to get you to accept going on a date with them, no matter the gender.
Of course he's proud to have such a beautiful lady by his side, but even his patience has a limit.
He leaves marks all over your neck. Of course he does. He also starts putting his coat around your shoulders, obviously too big for you and obviously masculine, hoping people will just get the hint. He's also mostly found wrapped around you or touches you in some kind of way as a way of claiming.
You're his and just his. Others should feel damn lucky for even being able to breathe the same air as you. And for not being shot by him by this point.
But when you kiss him and hide in his arms, he can't help the way he softens and gets the energy to deal with it all again.
He does sometimes dramatically say "Maybe we should actually go on a double suicide together! It will make it all easier! Ah, to die together, in each other's arms, how romantic!"
~The end~
(I'm sorry if it's quite short 🥺 I will work on the Kunikida one too :3)
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my-mt-heart · 2 years
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Im going to try to lighten the mood and explain why i ship Caryl and what they mean to me.
I started to ship them in season 2 with Cherokee rose. I dont remember if this is a deleted scene or not, but when he brought her to the field to show her the flowers, the way he looked at her in this moment was clear as crystal. He was falling for her. Part of me is still convinced canon was supposed to happen in s2 or 3. But then i remember that she was supposed to be killed early (at least this is what i read a long time ago) so i dont know.. unless the plan was to have them canon and then her dead shortly after.
The bus scene, His reaction to her banishment, this f... reunion in No sanctuary, Consumed, them living naturally together in Alexandria at first (just like .... Richonne, may I say)... season 6.13 hug, 6.14 what did they do to you, season 7.10 emotional reunion... everything was screaming love. Love, love, love. IN love.
I never worried about Beth. She was freaking 17. I never worried about Toby although i still dont understand what was the point. I never actually worried about Morgan although some people did: it was just a "ennemies to besties" trope and relationship.
I did worry about Zeke and unfortunately i was right. I did worry about Connie and still do sometimes. Leah never made f..ing sense.
But i dont care about all that. Caryl is my OTP. There are other shows where i find myself able to multiship, but not in twd and certainly not with Caryl.
They dont function well without each other. They would do anything for each other. They would kill for each other (Richard??) Daryl lied for her ("everyone's all right"), they protect each other and are there for each other when needed, they are each other's priority, each other's person. He only had her safety and mental health in mind all season 10. He said he would destroy boats if she didnt stay. Yeah, he said "i shouldn't have asked you to stay!" later in find me but he was hurt (he even said something similar to Michonne in 10.03, basically he was hurt all season because he could not reach Carol).
Carol broke up with ezekiel and never looked back, despite what Zeke would want (i still hope this wont change in 11c). She litteraly broke down in tears thinking Daryl could hate her. She looked at him like he was the moon and the star in stradivarius during the camp eating scene. She was the first one in s2 to see through his bullshit and how big his heart actually was.
They might never be endgame, but they are canon in my heart.
This warmed my cold, dead heart, so thank you for taking the time to write it. I think you're right that it would have been very typical of the show to canonize them right before killing one of them off, and I'm glad we got to watch their relationship deepen and grow organically despite the obvious frustrations of a slow burn. Other "love interests" aside, Daryl and Carol have something special that I'd argue no other characters on the show or any other show have. They really are everything to each other. Hence, why it is so devastating to think of their bond going to waste, but let me stop there before it gets too angsty (another post for another day).
Again, we can continue to have "the conversations," but my inbox is always open for asks like this too. Just saying <3
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oliviamillss · 3 years
Text
reading dreams chart
im only going to use up to orb 3, for stronger accuracy lmao
**if you can’t be bothered to read it all, theres a summary paragraph at the bottom**
sun:
sun in 7th: strong emphasis on relationships. tends to copy others lingo/habits. extroverted. probably ‘needs’ others. only really shows his true self around his close friends/family/partners. 
sun at 19 degrees: a libra degree. (emphasis on this bc libra rules 7h), makes him a very charming, likeable, particularly popular guy.
sun opposite ascendant: inner conflict, probably doesn’t feel like people see him for his true self, may struggle showing true self. may feel misunderstood. may need approval/validation a lot.
sun square mars: hints to daddy issues. may struggle with a lot of built up anger and frustration, but it seems like he takes it out very positively, as you can see he is competitive, so i think he lets it out through gaming. probably very energetic, motivated.
sun square saturn: high expectations for himself. probably the type of person to think ‘i’m only good enough if i do this’. probably very hard on himself. also probably very insecure of himself, but doesn’t show it. another sun square masculine planet, more hinting to daddy issues.
moon:
moon in 7th: probably relies on close friends/family/partners a lot. loves to help people, esp people he’s close with (kinda mr beast vibes). probably very like ‘oh shit, he’s sad, i need to do everything within my power to cheer him up’ if that makes sense lmao
moon in virgo: looking after people!!! esp with the sun square saturn,, high expectations. probably a very much perfectionist, which also explains why he is competitive. may ‘always need to be right’. but virgo moons are actually so lovely omfg
moon at 9 degrees: sagittarius degree, likes to help people by optimism, and giving things to the person that they would want (im aware that sounds obvious lmao). probably feels a sense of achievement when cheers them up.
moon square pluto: probably hard time dealing with and growing from negative things that have happened, possibly struggles with letting things go. possibly self destructive (why did that one heatwaves part come to mind), possible trust issues + anxiety, probably very particular about who he lets close into his life, maybe quite protective. 
mercury:
mercury in 6th: likes to help people, probably not disappointed if he spends his time working with someone, may struggle with anxiety/depression. a quick learner, probably overthink every word because it wast the ‘perfect’ thing to say. 
mercury in leo: funny asf, and out there, also thinks his ideas/things to respond and say are the best, with the 6h and 7h placements, he is open to listen to others, but in the end he only really wants his one lmfao, good with conversation.
mercury at 1 degree: aries degree, another fire placement which emphasises the loud, out there kinda vibes.
mercury trine mc: career and reputation are strongly linked with what he says. (this is obv bc hes famous lmao). he’s smart, particularly with technology and its linked to his career. *im aware this sounds like im just describing him, this is exact so thats why its overly accurate*
mercury opposite neptune: daydreamer, probably has a lot of thoughts and ideas in his head, but they just dont come across right. probably zones out, may struggle with focusing. but very creative, has big and creative ideas. i havent mentioned it before but its come up too many times now, but he has a lot of placements, when manifested badly, creates a good manipulator
mercury square jupiter: optimistic, possibly thinks his ideas are the best (we’ve covered that before), can be really overly talkative or just nothing at all. (i rlly dont know much about this placement)
venus:
venus in 7th: he will have a beautiful relationship with his future partner. charming asfff, probably a good flirt. tends to love love. needs to be liked, sort of a pleaser. 
venus in virgo: the type of person to remember everything about the people he cares about. loves to help the people he cares about. probably sees the people he truly loves as ‘perfect’, which may end up being really bad if they’re toxic. 
venus in retrograde: struggles feeling loved, possibly feels like he doesn’t deserve love. probably the type to be like ‘how could you ever love me?’
venus square mc: attract people who take care of him. either has self-esteem issues, or is quite a dependant person. creative. may struggle finding people who support his career, or may have to change a few things about himself to be liked by others. 
venus trine jupiter: very likeable, and he’s veryyy lucky. he’s funny, and a generous person, probably very giving to his close friends and family. charismatic asfff, likely he will marry someone foreign. 
mars:
mars in 9th: more things hinting to attract(ing/ed to) foreigners. loves experiencing things with people he cares about. likes to learn more and more, possibly stubborn, makes sure his opinions are known.
mars in scorpio: that boy needs privacy in his life, doesn’t like being predictable. probably an overthinker. we’ve already known this but he’s definitely a top. probably could get anyone he wants, seductive asfff. also pretty spiteful.
mars at 17 degrees: leo degree, fame bitchesss
mars square ascendant: hates to lose, competitive. people may be intimidated by him at first, can’t really hide anger, pretty stubborn.
mars opposite saturn: really hard on himself. wants to be the best of the best, leader. stands up for himself. another placement hinting to daddy issues. harsh about his work, and himself in general, perfectionist. 
mars square uranus: anger may change a lot, a lot of energy, probably struggles to focus, doesn’t like to be the one who is being controlled/has restrictions. probably struggles with authority. outbursts of anger.
jupiter
jupiter in 3rd house: loves writing, and is actually pretty good at it. knows how to talk to people, how to persuade them, and how to manipulate them. good liar, knows how to sell his wants across, how to get what he wants.
jupiter at 4 degrees: cancer degree, cancer rules his 6h. he uses his luck/money to help others.
jupiter square neptune: big dreams, desire to escape the world as it is.
saturn:
saturn in 3rd: afraid of/ is often misunderstood. struggles to open up?, maybe he wasn’t listened to much growing up. hard on himself academically, feels like he isn’t smart enough. hard time expressing himself. maybe feels like noone really cares for what he has to say?
saturn at 16 degrees: cancer degree. idk what else to say abt it lmaoo
saturn square ascendant: quite serious, maybe struggle with the way he looks? possibly quite overwhelmed about his life,, feels like he has too much to do at times. fear of rejectionnn
saturn square uranus: maybe he doesn’t like change, tradition v change clashing. authority troubles. probably needs freedom, but feels unstable without what he’s used to. rebelling against norms. 
uranus: 
uranus in 12th: probably very curious about unexplainable things, maybe quite into conspiracy theories. two complete ends of the spectrum: fear change/need it, unpredictable things happen/ everythings the same. 
uranus at 14 degrees: taurus. taurus ruling 2nd, i guess it shows change in dream’s wealth.
uranus opposite north node (and conj south node): with exceptions, doesn’t like conflict. he is fine with joke conflict, but the second there’s an actual argument he tries to be the ‘peacemaker’ guy. technology is major in his life. also quite nervous about his career/future. 
neptune:
neptune in 12th: awful sleep schedule. overworking himself, never relaxing. vivid dreams. once again, this has come up loads and i just haven’t mentioned it: intuitive asf, george is the same. whether either are aware of it or not, they are super intuitive.
neptune at 2 degrees: taurus degree.
neptune sextile mc: creative, also likes helping others, empathy to the public. has big dreams career wise. 
pluto:
pluto in 10th: determined person, gets a lot of hate, but also a lot of love. trust issues, persuasion/manipulative abilities. leader leader leader. another hint to daddy issues, maybe privacy invading, maybe overprotective. don’t want to be controlled.
north node:
north node in 6th: overwork himself. but i think we can interpret this as his life goal to be working to help people. literally mr beast. just work hard, and give a lot away. humble.
chiron:
chiron in 9th: possible restriction from either his or his communities beliefs/religions. maybe he’s afraid of leaving where he is right now (sapnap moving to orlando, whenever its brought up its always george coming to orlando)
lilith:
lilith in sagittarius: need for truth. dislikes restrictions. hides emotions, uses humour to avoid them/ make people think they’re okay when they’re not. stubborn asf. 
lilith in 10th: tend to be sexualised/ reputations for being sexual. another placement hinting to daddy issues. really wants to be at the top, the most powerful. likes using his dominance/ power to seduce. motivateddd.
lilith conjunct pluto (exact omfg): typical ‘mystery’ guy. probably the mystery/scorpio vibes he pulls off attracts/ seduces people. the most dominant partner ever. sex is probably so intense and overwhelming
moon square lilith: possible mummy issues. his need for sex can change quick asf, from one end of the scale to another. struggles to open up. 
 i ought to mention!!
there’s a theory that the degree of your venus sign is the birthday of someone who is v important in your life. what’s dreams you may ask? 1. and when are george and sapnap’s birthdays? the 1st. they’re soulmates, your honour.
summary!!!
basically, dream has so much care and love for his friends and family, and probably relies on them a lot. he only shows his true self around them, and he (at least thinks) people don’t really understand him in the way his friends and family do. he is a social person, who’s very likeable and charming. he lovesss helping people, doing everything in his power to cheer others up, he remembers details about the people he loves. he is such a perfectionist, needing to succeed and win and everything, and is very competitive. he probably doesn’t think he’s ‘worthy’ if he’s bad at something. he sets very high expectations for himself. he is very hard on himself. if he wants to, he knows how to manipulate people. he has so so many placements for an amazing manipulator. he may struggle to express himself or open up, and may be hard on himself academically. maybe he doesn’t feel ‘listened to’. a lot of emotions like anger and sex drive may change rapidly for him. he over works himself a lot. a major theme in his life is tradition vs change. he is probably afraid of change, or finds it uncomfortable, or he may have some sort of attachment to traditional values/things, no matter how much he wants to change. he is also a peacemaker. he was born to be loved or hated, kinda like marmite but if the balance was more equal. he doesn’t like restrictions. he uses humour to hide his emotions.
im also thinking of doing a synastry reading between george and dream but idk yet lol
hope you guys enjoyed, this took ages lmao<3
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keilemlucent · 4 years
Text
long days for bad people
(r18+)
hawks | takami keigo x reader
ao3
word count: ~6k
Being a prized, adored possession was far better than you thought it would be.
warnings: light daddy kink (no age play, just the name in mostly jest), spit kink, crying kink, degradation, brief descriptions of blood + violence, kidnapping (consensual?? read a/n), brat taming, light sadomasochism, mind break, praise kink
------
here it is, mafia au, villain hawks, dom, brat tamer, soft(?!) hawks. what more could you want? 
there’s briefly described kidnapping at the beginning of the fic but it is reiterated throughout that this is consensual! no yandere/stockholm stuff in this fic. 
i’ve been working on this one for a while and i’m happy to finally share it. hope y’all enjoy!!
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You shouldn’t have fucked around with the League.
God, it was common knowledge in the parts of town and circles you inhabited. Of all criminal syndicates, mobs, to fuck with, the League wasn’t one of them. They were known for their complete cruelty and violent delights. The League had such a reputation due to the fact that they openly left bodies carved up and burnt as they pleased.
But, you were a fucking idiot and got involved anyways.
It was a small loan, Giran almost seemed to scoff when he gave you the cash. You and your almost-stranger of a roommate were just very late on some bills and were going to lose a lot of material items if you didn’t scrounge up at least two paychecks in about three days. 
You swallowed your pride and took the first and easiest loan you could get. That just happened to be with gap-toothed, wide-grinning Giran of the League. He, you knew from what you’d heard, was somewhat fair in matters like yours. 
You had two weeks to pay him back.
...
You didn’t make it in time.
You were close to the amount, notably. You scrounged and clawed your way into getting the cash back. You weren’t much of a pickpocket, but you snagged some odd jobs around the apartment building that you and your roommate were still fortunate enough to keep a room in.
After one particular job, a nasty carpentry gig that you weren’t qualified for, you returned home tired and worn.
Sure, you were a day late on payment. But with this last gig, you were so close. The League would have to pity two, stupid, stupid young girls?
They didn’t, you realized, as you stepped into your apartment.
Your roommate's slain corpse was laying over the arm of your cheap couch, eyes vacant and mouth dripping blood onto the old beige carpet.
You dropped to your knees, horrified and completely stunned.
“You should’ve known better,” it was a hum from across the room, from a figure you didn’t even know was in the room until then. “Really, you’d expect folks to be smarter.”
Your mouth dried as the figure moved from the nighttime shadows, flashing a dazzling smile and ruffling crimson wings.
Hawks.
You’d heard of him, everyone had. Terrifying, fast, precise, and cutthroat. He took orders and didn’t ask questions other than snark. He talked too much, fucked too much. 
“W-wait,” You didn't know why you were pleading, but you had to try, right? “I’m so close, wait—”
Hawks sauntered up to you wielding one of his feather blades, the red of blood mixing with the filaments of his feathers.
He crouched down in front of you, tsking, “I don’t like begging, angel. I’ll make this quick for you. Your friend there?”
Hawks jerked his finger behind to your dead roommate.
“She fought, pleaded, begged, all that normal shit I don’t like hearing when shitheads like you two don’t make payday,” his voice was slow, talking about death like some casual thing. “I’ll make this nice and fast if you don’t run your mouth anymore, how about that?”
You swallowed, nodding.
The small percentage of your brain that was fully functioning figured dying quickly was a much better way to go than whatever the hell had happened to your roommate. There was far too much blood for that to be quick.
Hawks hummed, the tip of his feather blade tipping up your chin so you were forced to meet his gaze. You vaguely heard the pitter-patter of your tears hitting the carpet below. Blood rushed in your ears as you stared death in the face.
Hawks appraised you.
You watched the metaphorical cogs and wheels turning in Hawks’ skull as he looked you up and down before flashing forward, gathering you in his arms and flying from the apartment. 
Your first thought was obvious as you clung to him in the open air:
He’s going to drop you and kill you.
When you screamed, tears growing thicker, he slapped a gloved hand over your mouth, “I’m giving you an out, kid. Trust me. You’ll prefer this over death.”
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 Your new existence was certainly better than death.
If you were ever caught and convicted of any of the illegal things you participated in, you’d be fucked, thrown into prison until you rotted, until you were just dust and bone.
But, until then, you worked for the League.
You had groveled at the feet of their leader, Shigaraki, hands clasped on your lap, claiming your worth, or maybe lack thereof. Not many attachments, not many people who’d miss you, a semi-useful quirk. 
With a boot shoved into your skull, he sneered that you’d be the League’s new errand dog. 
The real reason they accepted you was due to the threatening air Hawks was exuding and the fact that their old ‘errand bitch’ had died the week prior. They needed a new body to act as a civilian and do things that only an unsuspecting-looking ‘civilian’ could. You fit the bill, and Hawks had taken a liking to you.
 Oddly, working for the League was actually pretty okay.
You got your own room. It was small, but you only had to share a bathroom with the somewhat unhinged Himiko, but she was fairly nice once she warmed up to you. Everyone lived in the League’s HQ and went about their business, getting drunk at their bar front each night.
Most of the mess happened at night, but it was important to put on a nice veneer and keep spirits high. Not to mention that no one would dared to fuck with the League, anyways. The cops and federal government had long been paid off due to the resources that the League had acquired for them. 
You felt somewhat untouchable.
A lot of this confidence was due to the fact that you had become Hawks’s... Keigo’s...
‘Songbird’
As he liked to call you, anyway. 
Keigo was the general, loveable annoyance of the League, but his connections were invaluable and his skills were unmatched. Despite how he could grate on people (read: Dabi and Shigaraki), he was respected and feared just as much as everyone else was, if not more so. And being his metaphorical and literal pet had its perks.
Sure, the first time he had you come to his ‘office’ and he fucked you against the window until it was smeared with cum and blood was a bit surprising, but god, if you didn’t fucking love it. Being Keigo’s personal fucktoy came with protection, pleasure, and a surprising amount of genuine attention. The dude was lonely, and so were you. The two of you made a good ‘couple’, if you could even call yourselves that. The sadism he doled out was always counterpointed by affections that did seem genuine. 
Keigo was fond of you, and you of him. Maybe your brush with death had twisted something in your head, to even allow yourself to get close to a man like Keigo, but you couldn’t make yourself care. 
You were comfortable and content. 
...
[bird boss]: hey babe ;^) get to my office in the next thirty minutes 
[you]: what if i don’t
[bird boss]: do u really want to find out
[you]: ...
[you]: im just curious 
[bird boss]: don’t get cheeky songbird 
[you]: u make me wanna u know
[you]: i know it gets you riled up
[bird boss]: tread lightly kid
[you]: oooo i gave you some guff over text
[you]: what’re you gonna do about it?
[bird boss]: use your imagination
[bird boss]: 25 minutes now, songbird
[bird boss]: don’t make this worse for yourself <3
 You set your phone on your cheap duvet, quickly primped yourself to see Keigo. He wasn’t too strict about your appearance but wearing dark clothes and some of the more expensive gifts he’d gotten you over the months he’d been screwing you never hurt. Something about ownership with him always got him hot and bothered. 
You tried to remind yourself frequently that Keigo saw you as some sort of possession, but a possession with feelings.
Meandering through HQ was always a bit daunting, despite your protections. Your skimpy outfit choice and hardly-hidden lingerie made you feel a bit more like an object than you liked too. 
There were hardly hungry mouths around the League, they kept you all fed, but god, were there starving eyes. 
Dabi wolf-whistled as you walked past him through a common room, shouting something about how Keigo was collecting his pound of flesh for the day. Maybe a line or two about being a whore, but that was all flavor at that point. Keigo called you far meaner, more sinful things. And hell, it wasn’t like Keigo hadn’t... shared you on more than one occasion. 
Maybe you were a little fucked up for enjoying your lifestyle to the degree you did, but why not indulge where you could? Life was far shittier scraping paint off old fences and picking up cans to just scrape by. 
Opulence was a breath of fresh air. And if you were Keigo’s fuck toy? Then, god, you were Keigo’s fuck toy.
When you arrived at Keigo’s office, you knocked gently on the door, quickly adjusting your skirt and blouse. 
The door opened, though no one was behind it. Only a single one of Keigo’s feathers allowed you entrance. 
His office seemed daunting and extravagant for a man who did most of his ‘work’ in far-shadier, far-bloodier places. The walls were covered in mirrors and old paintings, something out of vanity and pride, knowing how Keigo saw himself. There were several black leather couches scattered around against walls, some stained by your various... activities. There was a broad desk parallel to a back wall made entirely of windows. 
Night had fallen, leaving the room lit by a few lamps and warm fixtures. 
“Hey, boss,” You hummed as you stepped in, shutting the door behind you just before the lingering scarlet feather flicked the lock on the door.
And the other one.
And the deadbolt.
You swallowed thickly. 
As much as you enjoyed a lot of the perks of your... position, it was also daunting.
Keigo was daunting, all bloody colors, vanity, and hunger. 
He sat behind his desk, wings puffed up, and partially extended over the back of his chair. The desk chair was massive, specifically acquired so that you would have enough room to properly straddle his lap for hours on end if he so wished. 
Keigo idly clicked around on his desktop computer. He leaned slack and back into the chair, legs spread wide and exuding casual confidence that reeked of his own ego. 
Keigo normally wore a mix of black and red, as edgy as it was. He liked to seem clean, hide the stains of sanguine that undoubtedly lingered on him no matter how he tried to cleanse himself. His black slacks were pressed, the seams pristine. The black shirt he wore was rolled up to his elbows, the buttons of his red vest undone as well. His black tie hung half-undone and limp around his neck. His tousled gold hair was mussed as normal, ruffled by his flights. His feathers might’ve needed preening, but you doubted that that was the reason he called you to his office. 
And based on the deep set of his brow and the sickly smile on his lips, he was already on edge and in a mood. 
“Songbird, come over here, will you?” Keigo sat back from his typing, watching you from across the room. He took you in the same way a parched man sucks down red wine, greedily and soon to be fucked. “On my lap.”
You complied, despite your earlier attitude. You padded across the room, going around his desk. 
As you moved to straddle his lap, worn hands gripped your waist. His amber eyes gave you a warning, crinkling at the edges, “Not like that, sweetheart. Do daddy right.”
Oh, so it was one of those moods. 
Maybe you were Keigo’s sexual punching bag so he could exert control on something he could later kiss better and patch up. 
Sure, he was going to fucking ruin you, but part of the fun with him was that the more it hurt, the nicer he was after. And, all things considered, with some of the... other folks the League brought in to satiate its member’s desires, you fared far better. Keigo cared about you, in his own particular way. 
You tried to lean over his lap yourself, but his hands and feathers positioned you perfectly as he wanted. With the tight grip he had on your waist and shoulders, dragging you just as he liked, it was easy to see his need for control. 
Your head hung off of one of his thighs as you squirmed in his lap. His bulge already pressed into your ribs, a wonderful reminder of the reward you’d reap later on. Keigo’s hands gathered your hand to the small of your back, a feather replacing their grip a moment later.
“Sit with me while I finish this shit,” Keigo grumbled, going back to clicking the desktop. His leg bobbed absentmindedly, his free hand rubbing over the curve of your barely-covered ass. “Be a good girl, (Y/N). If you can stand that.”
He laughed under his breath. 
You let your head dangle limply downwards, blood rushing to your cheeks. 
You’d thought you’d be in for more of an ass-kicking, but it appeared Keigo was taking things unusually slow. You knew better than to complain, but kicking up a bit of metaphorical sand couldn’t be that bad, right?
“I dunno,” You hummed, kicking your legs lightly. “I don’t think you like it when I’m a ‘good girl’, daddy.”
“Watch it.” A single, sharp smack to your butt was hardly enough to shut you up, but Keigo did so all the same, rubbing over the covered flesh a moment later, “I’m not in the mood.”
“Are you sure about that?” You wriggled, intentionally pushing up against his growing erection.
His breath stuttered, a smirk pulling at the corners of your lips. The hand on your ass didn’t rear again, rather Keigo kept thumbing smooth circles as he continued to click around on the computer. He might have been actually doing work. Or, he was ignoring you, egging your sass on. 
“If you didn’t want anything, why’d you call me in here?” You asked, way too cheeky for the way Keigo’s body was practically vibrating underneath you. Pissing him off had consequences, of course, but you weren’t in the mood to play ‘good girl’ that day.
“I told you, I want you to sit with me,” Keigo pinched your ass. “But, you’re too mouthy to do just that one thing. You’re usually better than this.”
“Am I?” You played innocent, craning to give him a wide smile. “Hadn’t noticed. What I am noticing, is your already-hard cock, dear.”
“Oh, ‘dear’?!” Keigo paused on the computer. “Cheeky. Cute.” 
Keigo would just dig in more, lean in, before ‘snapping’, if you could call it that.
You gulped as his hand swatted at upper thighs, his nails almost knicking your skin.
“Up and don’t get smart about it.”
Oh, you were going to be remarkably smart about it.
You rose but hardly stayed upright for long. Sliding down to your knees, you pushed at Keigo’s legs, “Wouldn’t you prefer me down here? Just for a treat while you finish your work?”
Keigo clicked his tongue, gaze flickering down to you, “Fine. Behave yourself.”
Yeah, right. You both knew that that wasn’t going to happen. 
You were already tucked underneath his desk, undoing the fly of his pants. 
You pulled his cock from his trousers, pumping his cock to full hardness. Smearing around preek for a bit of extra flare before inching forward.
Wrapping your mouth around Keigo’s dick was somewhat of a feat— he had a decent girth to him, so you usually took the opportunity to warm him (and yourself) up with a bit of tip-kissing and kitten licks.
But, you were feeling bold.
You spit on his dick, a move that normally would have earned you plenty of verbal snark, but anything Keigo could’ve said to you was swallowed as you took his cock down to the back of your throat.
You sucked around it, massaging the vein on the bottom with the flat of your tongue. Drool began to pool at the side of your lips as you let the head bump your throat, gag reflex be damned.
All the while, Keigo had stopped moving above you. The fabric of his trouser balled up in his ringed-fingers as he gazed half-lidded down at you. 
You smiled around his dick, looking up at him innocently as you began to slowly bob your head. His wings fluttered, twitches and air stirring around you. 
Keigo stifled a laugh, a hand tangling in your hair, “All that talk earlier and now you’re treating me to a blowjob without even me having to tell you to? Dove, you’re too much.”
You pulled off of him to reply, “I can only try.”
Before he could reply, you spit on his dick again, and went back to slurping around him.
You held the base of his cock in your hands, twisting and spreading spittle. It almost felt like your actions were for show, but Keigo’s eyes were rolling back in his head all the same.
You smirked.
A drool pool from your mouth, puddling in your lap and soaking your skirt. Not like you weren’t already dripping from the sinful sounds Keigo stopped trying to hold.
“A-ah, that’s it, angel,” Keigo fucked into your mouth with his hold on your hair. “Just like that.”
Your hand rose to play with Keigo’s balls, teasing at the sack as he cried out a high moan above you. 
Considering the performance you were giving, it was unsurprising to feel him tensing above you. You’d been on your knees for him hundreds of times; you’d learned to see the little twitches and puffs of breath he’d give when he’d get close to coming. 
You pulled off his cock with a pop, detangling the hand from your hair in the motion. It was all fast enough that Keigo couldn’t have stopped you in his hazy, pleasure-filled state. 
Based on the look of rapid disbelief he was giving you, your trick had worked well. Knowing Keigo’s... tendencies made you hesitant to push him too much in the past, but for whatever reason, you were feeling stupidly bold. 
Consequences.
“Sorry, daddy,” You wiped at your mouth with the back of your hand. “Didn’t feel like swallowing today.”
Keigo’s disheveled appearance was more than gratifying. Knowing how easily you made him come undone by that point was one of the perks of your position.
His hair was more than ruffled, strands and tufts chaotically curled around his cheeks and ears. There was a bright blush on his face, spreading from his nose to the apples of his cheeks, down his deck. At some point, he’d popped the buttons at the top of his shirt. He was covered in a sheen of sweat, half-panting and based on the darkness in his brow and the far-too peachy smile on his face, Keigo was fucking pissed.
His wings stood on end.
You gulped from below him.
Maybe you pushed your luck too far.
Maybe. 
“You’re playing real cute today, aren’t you songbird?” Keigo didn’t move, but his feathers twitched above him, wings flaring out even farther. “Real fucking cute.”
You were fucked.
Good.
A few feathers flew from Keigo, one snagging at your wrist, wrapping around it, and pulling you up from the desk.
You wobbled as you stood, dragged across the room as Keigo leisurely followed behind you. When you tried to set your own pace, Keigo swatted your ass with a huff, “You never learn, huh? I thought I’d trained you better than this.”
You opened your mouth to spit some dickish retort, but you were cut off as Keigo’s shoved you onto one of the leather couches.
“Don’t.” Keigo’s tone was acidic as he stood over your, wings still flared out. “I told you I wasn’t in the mood for your cute bullshit, dove, and you still decided to test your luck, huh?”
You kneeled on the cushions, sucking down air, shaking with anticipation.
“You don’t feel like swallowing today? That’s fine, I can work with that,” Keigo shrugged easily from above you.
Keigo had an... active sexual imagination, and you could tell by the crook in his lips that he had something devilish planned as retribution.
A sharp slap came down on your cheek, Keigo catching the opposite jaw and keeping you from recoiling too far. You blinked as the pain spread around your skull like licking flames against a frostbitten body. 
You wanted more.
A little grin stretched against your mouth as Keigo rubbed at your cheeks with his thumbs, “Aw, you always get so sweet like this, dove. You can be a good girl if you try, can’t you?” 
His actions carried candor and his words absolute torment. 
Despite how Keigo was trying to goad you into submission, you had a bit of spark left in you. 
Plainly, you spit on him.
The glob of saliva landed on Keigo’s cheek, under his eye.
He blinked at you. 
You continued to smile.
His own expression grew strained.
“Oh, songbird,” Keigo damn near lamented, wiping away the kind gift you’d given him. His voice was smooth without any bit of waver, all of the sexually-charged anger rolling just beneath the veneer. “You’re just being pain slut today, aren’t you?”
You were, absolutely. You could feel your arousal wetting your panties, the heat of the strike from your cheek beginning to boil something in your gut. 
“You just need a bit of special attention today, right? That’s all.” Keigo tsked, fully removing the tie from around his neck. “You just need a little reminder.”
“Reminder of what?” You asked, tilting your head quizzically. 
Keigo flipped you, feathers pushing and bracing you as needed while nimble hands tore off your clothes without reverie.
“Plenty of things, especially with this attitude you’ve got today,” Keigo’s tie looped around your wrists, binding them together at the center of your back. 
“You definitely need a reminder of who’s the boss around here,” Keigo shoved you forward, stomach flush with the back of the couch.
You reeled from the pace of it all, shifting your knees for any bit of stimulation you could get. Keigo’s feathers were slicing and pulling your clothes from your body faster than you could keep track of. It was overwhelming, making your mind swim in the best possible way. You throbbed. 
“Maybe a reminder about who fucking provides for you,” Keigo’s own clothes were shaken off, dropped to the floor and forgotten.
It was true. Keigo always made sure than you were taken care of, in more ways than one. Despite how fast-paced and laid back he could seem, he was always on top of making sure you had more than enough material and immaterial pleasure whether than be in the form of food, fucking, or otherwise.
You yelped as a smack fell across your ass. A feather caught the elastic of your panties, snapping a moment later, leaving you fully bare before him. 
Keigo’s worn hand came to press at your throat and jaw, tilting your head back as he climbed behind you, “Maybe, you need a reminder about who keeps you safe.”
This phrase was softer than the others, a sweet kiss pressing to your cheek and his voice a bit more gentle. It was jarring at the skin still stung from his earlier strike, but you cherished the heat besides. 
Once again, true. The folks in and outside of the League were greedy. There were plenty of unwanted souls that stole glances at Hawks’s prized songbird. There were starved eyes that tore into you whether you were dolled up for Keigo or not. There had been some... close calls, one could say, but Keigo always was there, in the end, unafraid to get his hands dirty. 
“You know what the most important reminder is, dove?” Keigo rolled his hips against you, cock wedging between your thighs.
“N-no,” You stuttered, brain turning gooey as Keigo’s arms snaked around your waist, sharpened nails leaving indents in your hips.
He nosed at your neck, leaving a few love bites in his wake.“‘N-no’, what?” 
“I don’t know,” You leaned back into Keigo’s chest, rubbing your thighs around his cock. 
 “Oh, songbird, you sweet thing,” He chuckled, all teasing and self-indulgent. “I’m the one who makes you feel good.” 
He was so right, wasn’t he?
With the way he’d learned your body over the last few months, he’d had some undeniable pursuit to make you feel the best. 
Keigo was inquisitive by nature. He had kept you on your back for hours while he finger-fucked you, watching every twitch and roll of your hips to figure out just the right ways to break you. He’d kissed and sucked and slapped every inch of you, sussing out the perfect ways to make you writhe and cry for him. 
Sure, you were an absolute terror to him sometimes. Not to mention that Keigo jumping you covered in the blood of that day's targets was as macabre and horrifying as it sounded. 
But, fuck, if he didn’t know how to bring you to ecstasy that fucking ruined you in the best way. 
Keigo got off on watching you shatter for him. It was the reason he’d torn you from that cheap, bloodied apartment in the first place. A kind, naive little morsel that he could play with as he wanted. You didn’t complain. Fuck, you reveled in his attention. You gave it back to him, like the fucked up, semi-divine being could be any more debauched than he already was.
Corruption spreads, but you’d never complain. If being plucked from struggling for pennies to being fucked stupid by a man who could kill you at a moments notice, a man who would kill for you, somehow poisoned you?
You’d die with a bitter taste on your tongue and a smile on your face.
 Keigo rubbed at your clit, nipping at your neck, and rolled his hips greedily. His cock was covered in a mix of your slick and his own preek, easily sliding between plushness of your thighs.
“You love pushing me, acting all tough,” Keigo chastised, clicking his tongue. “I mean it when I say it's cute.”
You don’t have any more quick retorts in you, not when his fingers are down your throat, gagging you as spittle dribbles down your chin onto the leather below. It was sure to leave a mark.
“Behind all that bark and snark, you’re just a good girl, aren’t you?” Keigo punctuated his words with a bite and nip to your neck. “Just needed a reminder, right, dove?”
You whimpered against his fingers at the praise, grinding against Keigo’s touch needily. 
His fingers pushed pinched your tongue, breath curling over the shell of your ear, “What are you?”
You mumbled against his fingers, “A g-good g-girl.”
It was humiliating in the best way. Keigo’s light laugh at your attempt. The way he nuzzled his nose into the sweat at the crook of your shoulder was just aloe on the burn.
“I misspoke, if you can believe that,” Keigo’s cock pulled out from your thighs. “Songbird, you know what I meant to call you?”
You squirmed at the loss, but he was quick to hush you. His fingers left your mouth with a thick trail of spit. 
“You’re my good girl.” 
You melted in his arms.
Falling back against Keigo’s chest, you craned your neck to lock your lips to his. 
Maybe that was it, why all the filth didn’t bother you. Because you had worth. Maybe it was insecurity, or maybe it was self-aware in the face of your lived experience. Before being taken, the life you’d lived made you just a rusty cog in a dying machine. You wouldn’t have amounted to anything, probably. 
But with the League?
You were the prized, beloved consort of an angry god. 
Keigo owned you, body, mind and soul, and you let him. That’s not even to mention how you had him wrapped around your finger. He adored you, under all of it.
Fighting with him was for sport, not blood.
Keigo licked past your lips, pressing his cock to your cunt teasingly. You whined against him, wriggling in his arms.
“What does my good girl want?” Keigo loved making you beg for him, claw for any bit of stimulation. He liked it even better when you were already soft for him.
Stray tears pricked at your eyes, “Y-your cock.”
He pinched the meat of your thigh, shaking his head, “Not good enough. Speak properly, dove. Clear and correctly.”
You swallowed, searching for the words in your own haze.
Your words were willed to be solid.
“I want your cock, daddy.” 
It was just enough.
Keigo pushed forward, the head of his cock already stretching your cunt. Consider the girth of it, the lack of preparation stung and burned more than you would’ve liked, as good as it felt to finally be filled.
Keigo cooed at your soft tears, keeping your face to his with a firm hand on your jaw. He shushed you, far too sweetly while licking the salt from your cheeks, “Relax, angel. Big breaths.”
You nodded, sputtering as he speared into you. Keigo’s free hand went back to toying with your clit, encouraging the tension to drain from your body.
As he bottomed out, you shuddered, falling back into his chest. Keigo’s wings fluttered, twitching in wait. Hot breath fanned over your face, Keigo groaning and locking his jaw. 
The stimulation was overwhelming. You had expected Keigo to be meaner, considering how mouthy you’d been. 
Yet, it made sense. Keigo had figured out one of the better ways to make you break was softness. 
(Truthfully, it made him crack in the same way, but he’d never tell.)
“Feel that?” He asked, just barely rolling his hips. 
Keigo released your jaw in favor of wrapping a hand around the front of your throat, tugging you as close he could manage.
“Uh-huh,” You panted. 
You could, the kiss of his cock head against your cervix was almost uncomfortable. The delicious pressure and sensitivity already had you reeling in his arms, unsteady and wanting.
“I fill you up so good, don’t I?” Keigo praised his own ego, his cock, but he wasn’t wrong. The curve of his cock rubbed against all the right spots. He stretched you just right, the burn ebbing away into a need for more, more—
“Please, Keigo—” You gasped. Your legs shook as Keigo slammed into you, shoving you forward and into the wall.
His pace was brutal. Hands and feathers kept your back in a harsh arch as he rearranged your insides to his liking. He was kind enough to keep stroking at your clit, bruising your hips and babbling filthy nothings. 
“I’m the one who makes you feel this good, only me, right, dove?” Keigo growled into your ear with a particularly hard thrust.
You nodded against the wall, aware of the drool slipping down your chin as your mouth lolled open. Your insides were hot like white flames, searing any ability to use coherent speech. 
Keigo snickered at your state. Slowing, he gripped your ass cheeks. You yelped, inside jumping as he pried them apart. You flinched, hole twitching as he spat down, the liquid cool against the flushed skin.
It was little moves like that, Keigo just subtly making your shudder and feel dirty that got you the most fucked up and fucked out.
You pressed back on his cock, panting against the wall and keening. You would’ve spoke, if you could, but anything that you had the ability to say would’ve been torn apart by Keigo’s sharpened, silver tongue. 
“My filthy little dove, huh?” Keigo sneered, watching you try to bounce on his cock the best you could. “Such a glutton when you get broken down like this, needy whore.”
The pleasure of Keigo’s cock tearing up your insides was all you could focus on through the fog of your mind, desperate and wanting and greedy.
“Y-your,” You corrected, the words bubbling from your lips, disjointed and messy. “Yours.”
Keigo may have been avian, but he purred like a damn cat at your admission. He held you like a possession, cock throbbing as he fucked you just right. 
“God, you’re sweet, angel,” He nipped at your jaw before wrapping his hand around your throat. “Even all fucked up, you know who you belong to so well, don’t you?”
You nodded, rolling your hips back. 
Keigo must’ve taken pity on you, squeezing at the sides of your neck. Cruel as he could be, he must’ve noticed the way your thighs and knees trembled against the leather. Keigo knew the cloud in your eyes well— how to get you hazy and how to fuck you perfectly through the fog.
He fucked back into your dripping cunt, pace harder and faster than before. You were helpless to do anything other than fall forward into the wall, cheek squished against the scarlet. 
“Who’s brat are you?” Keigo squeezed a bit harder at your neck as you swallowed against his palm.
“Y-yours—!” You squeaked out, mind going numb from the stimulation and pressure.
A wicked sneer curled against your ear as Keigo’s movements grew sloppier. His tongue lolled over your shoulder, messy kisses and slobbery bites and marks left in his wake. He was close, but you weren’t far off easier.
“Little bird,” It was sweeter, closer and hotter. “Can you come for me? Come all over my cock?”
You nodded.
“Not good enough.” Keigo bit down, nearly breaking the fragile skin of your neck. “You know I like words, angel.”
You gave him words, plenty of them. 
Nearly incoherent pleads and cries poured from your bruised lips as Keigo pounded into you. Each blabbering wail was met with Keigo groans and grunts, condescending little phrases spitting over you without release.
Your lack of leverage and use of your arms made you thumping against the couch and wall, vision darkening on the edges as the pressure in your gut and the hold on your throat remained. 
You were breaking in his arms, tears rolling down your cheeks as you held yourself from cresting. The exertion of it all was taking its toll, legs jellied and chest beading with sweat. 
Keigo sensed it, shifting his hips to hit the spongy spot in your cunt, “Come, dove.”
You let go.
A sob shattered in your throat as your climax crashed through you. Keigo released your throat, holding you by your bound arms as he bottomed out. His own harsh cry panged against yours as he stuffed you full. 
Surprisingly gently, he rocked his hips against your own, letting the ambient throb of your cunt milk him dry.
You came down, rolling and spinning as you sucked down air a bit too fast. Keigo panted behind you, though the sound seemed dull.
The pressure from your wrists released, soft thumbs rubbing at where the fabric had bitten into your forearms, “Hey, angel, you with me?”
You could only nod weakly, exhaustion and aches creeping in. 
Keigo repositioned the two of you, setting himself against the arm of the couch, wings up free to drape and splay over the floor. He dragged you with him, pulling you to lay on his chest. The stickiness of his spunk, your slick, and general sweatiness might’ve been uncomfortable, but you weren’t quite lucid enough to care.
“How are you feeling? Still feeling a little mouthy?” Keigo teased, already knowing your answer. 
You muffled a groan against his chest, shaking your head against the sweat of his chest. 
“Awww,” Keigo chuckled, fingers brushing over your cheeks, “Is my dove a little fucked out?”
“Keeeigo, b-be nice.”
Your voice broke, parched.
Keigo snorted, pressing a kiss to the side of your forehead, “I guess I can manage that. Just for you, though. Can’t let the others see me get all soft.”
You wouldn’t; seeing Keigo warm and gooey, both of you mutually fucked-out, was a pleasure only you got to indulge in. And you loved every moment of it. 
++++++++++++
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