#im trying my best to weather through this time in my life even though i feel like shit every day!!!! :)

[yankasmiles]

wip hehe

#tsukishima kei #wip #been drawing less and less because life has been...bad #im trying my best to weather through this time in my life even though i feel like shit every day!!!! :) #also i am NOT enjoying this new tumblr layout wtf happened here

[megumimania]

TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES - ryomen sukuna

summary: your boyfriend hates modern technology.

warnings: sukuna x fem reader, sukuna is an old hag (affectionately), sukuna not fucking with consumerism is he in his marxist era?🤔, sukuna is a softie when he wants to be, sukuna is ooc because i hate writing mean men :), yuji being a hottie is my fav hc of all time, i can’t believe im giving amazon free promo 😞.

notes: i missed you guys!

sukuna cant wrap his head around technology.

he doesn’t understand why companies sell ‘new’ phones every single year, when they perform the same exact functions as the previous one.

he doesn’t like how your coffee machine has too many buttons when all he wants in the morning is just a cup of black coffee to get him through the day. sukuna just prefers doing things the old fashioned way which makes him subject to teasing by you and his little brother yuuji.

he doesn’t care though, constantly talking about how he’s ‘escaped the matrix’ by not owning an up to date phone and only getting his news from the daily paper and tv. however his view on technology changed once you brought alexa home.

initially he thought that it was a speaker and was confused to why you bought another one. “it’s not just a speaker ryo,” you corrected him swiftly. “she’s a digital assistant that can tell you the time, the weather, recipes and she can even tell jokes.”

sukuna looked at you with the same wariness he’d give to a snake oil salesman. “can’t your phone do the same exact thing for less?” you knew he was lowkey right but your stubbornness refused to let him get the upper hand.

“that’s not the point babe.” you playfully rolled your eyes at him, carrying the box to the kitchen counter and setting it down with a loud thump. “now if you’ll excuse me i’ll be busy setting my alexa up.” you huffed as you opened the instructions trying to make sense of them.

sukuna looked over at your focused expression. your brow furrowed with concentration as you read the instructions. it was simple really and within a couple of minutes the alexa was ready to go and by the joyous look of pride on your face sukuna knew that he was going to be in for one hell of a ride.

and unfortunately he was right.

life with an alexa was hell. sukuna barely got through the day without hearing the monotone female voice rattle off the hottest food spots or tell you a stupid joke that was suddenly the most funniest thing alive. he used to make you laugh like that!

he felt like the speaker was taunting him. hell he couldn’t even have some down time with you without that stupid speaker getting in the way. it was literally like he was third wheeling all the time and he hated it. you were his girlfriend first!

sukuna didn’t like being second best. especially to a glorified speaker.

you and sukuna were cuddling on the couch together after finishing a movie—terminator 2 to be exact. “so what do you think of the alexa?” you asked whilst the credits rolled, mindlessly stroking his cheek with your acrylic nails whilst he rubbed your legs.

sukuna tensed at the question as he tried to think of a way to answer without sounding like a complete asshole. “well…im not really a fan.” you could already tell from the dry tone and his poor attempt of acting unfazed that he was lying through his teeth.

“if that’s the case then why did i find it in the bathtub?” you pulled up the waterlogged alexa in a ziploc bag. sukuna would usually have a sarcastic reply in his arsenal but he was now looking at you as if he was a deer caught in headlights.

“fine, i used the damned thing.” he raised his hands up as he accepted defeat much to your surprise. “it fell into the bathtub when i was trying to stream that megan the stallion song yuuji told me to listen to. he said something about the song needing to go number 1 on the charts.”

you sat back in disbelief. you didn’t know whether to be annoyed, angry or smitten with him. “i’m glad yuji is helping you become more cultured but why did my alexa have to die for such a good cause!” you wailed dramatically collapsing on the floor, clutching the alexa to your chest.

sukuna lifted you off the floor with such ease it almost made you jealous. “stop whining i already ordered another one. it should be coming in a few days.” he said with his usual gruff tone that was laced with softness, peppering kisses down your neck.

you giggled as his stubble tickled your skin. “that was quick, you missed it that much already?” you teased him whilst you hooked your arms around him running your nails down the nape of his neck.

sukuna rolled his eyes at your playful expression. “i’m still anti technology, don’t be fooled.” one thing sukuna was to his core was a hater but like most haters he rarely stood on business.

“whatever you say babe.” you hummed biting back a smile. you and sukuna knew give or take two months that he’d change his opinion about it.

#vina writes: jjk #vina writes #ryomen sukuna x reader #ryomen sukuna #sukuna x female reader #sukuna x y/n #sukuna x you #ryomen x reader #sukuna x reader #jjk fanfic #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jujutsu kaisen fluff #sukuna x black reader #jujutsu kaisen sukuna #sukuna #jjk sukuna

[niceboyeds]

won't let you go (e.m.)

pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

summary: spending time with Eddie: talking about your days, futures, and enjoying each others company <3

contains: fluff, comfort, brief and non-descriptive mention of childhood trauma, clingy!eddie if you squint lol, please let me know if i missed something!

word count: 942

a/n: im just trying to fill the Eddie-shaped hole in my chest, i miss him a lot. not edited sorryyyy. 3rd time trying to post this because its not showing in the tags and i hate this site.

~~~~~~

“hey sweetness.” Eddie’s familiar lips press against the top of your head, giving you a quick kiss.

you’re sitting in your room, on a bench that allows you to look outside. it’s a rainy day and you love watching the weather from your window, but you seem to have lost track of time when you get startled by your boyfriend’s presence.

“hi there, pretty boy.” you smile, scooting away from the wall so he can sit with your body between his legs and your head on his chest.

his arms wrap you into a hug and it makes you giggle, still after over a year of dating you haven’t gotten used to how much he loves to show you affection.

“how was your day?” you ask him with a yawn, settling into his hold.

“long, but better now that I’m with you.” his face presses into the back of your head and you know he's smiling. “what about you? what did you do today?”

“I finished my book this morning, but I couldn’t go get a new one because I didn't really want to drive in the storm.”

“you should've called me. I would've stopped and gotten it for you, silly.”

“but then I’d have to wait even longer to see you.” you tilt your head up to face him and pucker your lips, signifying you want a kiss and he naturally grants your wish.

“god you’re so cute.” he smiles against your lips, pecking them one more time before you lean forward slightly.

“where are you going?” he whines, gripping you a little tighter to keep you close to him.

“I just have to pee, I’ll be right back!” you laugh, squirming out of his arms.

“how long?”

“like 3 minutes! promise.” he releases you and you scurry off to the bathroom.

“see, told ya I’d be fast.” you tell him, walking back into your room.

“3 minutes and 36 seconds.” he teases, trying his best to hold his frown but it’s no use and a smile peaks through his lips.

you sit back with him, laying on his chest once again and looking out the window. it’s days like this when you really take the time to appreciate how much you care for him. how much you love him. something so simple like watching the rain together brings you so much joy your heart could burst.

“what do you want to do after graduation?”

“I think I want to travel, not go back to school right away.” you answer honestly, seeing as you’re young and there’s no reason to rush into settling down.

“oh there’s no way I’m going back to school.”

“of course not, you’re gonna go on tour and become famous. gonna leave me in the dust.”

“nah, you’ll be my little roadie.” it’s quiet for minute as you picture the two of you traveling the world together. “do you want kids?”

that’s unexpected.

“um… I don't know yet.”

“what do you mean?”

“I don’t want to screw them up.” you pause for a beat, “I don't want them to go through what I had to.”

“you’re nothing like your parents.” he reassures you, “you are so caring and considerate. so loving. and their trauma… baby, their trauma wasn’t an excuse to hurt you.”

you know he’s right. you didn’t deserve anything you went through. even though they’ve tried to make amends with you, it’s still deeply engraved in your memories. you fought your whole life to become the complete opposite of your family. you’re still fighting.

“do you want kids?” you ask him, still not sure on your own answer.

“I want whatever you want.”

“I meant like… like if we didn’t end up together.”

“oh, no! you’re not allowed to leave me.” he squeezes you tighter, rocking you back and forth gently.

“you can’t predict the future though.”

“didn’t I tell you? I’m actually a psychic and know that you’ll be stuck with me for the rest of your life.”

you giggle at his words. that’s the thing about Eddie. even when the conversation takes an emotional turn, he’s always there to ground you and let you know he’s there for you before cracking a joke to lighten the mood. it’s just one of the many reasons you love him.

you continue to lay into him, craving the closeness. you turn to look out the window again, the rain picking up which gives you an idea.

“can… can we do something crazy?”

“I love crazy.”

you grab his hand, dragging him out of your bedroom and through the house. you head right out the front door. you look back to see his face, hoping he wouldn’t look like it was a bad idea. the ear-to-ear cheesy grin he has is all it takes for you to let his hand go and start spinning in the rain.

you laugh as you jump in puddles, playing in the rain, and just feeling free. feeling young again. like this is what your childhood should’ve been filled with.

Eddie runs up behind you, capturing you into his arms as he picks you up and the two of you spin together in the rain. both of you completely soaked but neither of you caring that you could get sick from the wetness and cold wind.

a sudden crack of thunder startles the two of you, and you wrap your arms around him tightly so you don’t fall.

“not to worry, sweetheart. I gotcha. I won’t let you go.” he leans in to kiss you, a moment that made the world stop spinning. one that reminded you that he is your safe place.

he is your family.

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie x reader #eddie munson comfort #eddie munson fluff

[sophierequests]

hi lovely! i have a fic idea! kaz brekker x reader where the prompt is

"take my hand"

"no"

"look im not trying to ask you to marry me, im trying to save your life"

take my hand and don't let go

Navigation┃Main Masterlist┃Requests

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x f!Reader

A/N: Found the beginning of this in my drafts and I literally do not remember starting it?? So I decided to scrap some stuff and rewrite this fic, because I actually really love this prompt for Kaz! I intended on making this into a rather light-hearted fic, but my poor writer's brain sees the name Kaz Brekker and immediately switches to angst, so sorry for that </3 It has a fluffy ending though, so don't be afraid. And, of course, thank you for the request, lovely <333

Summary: A job gone wrong forces the reader to do something she had tried to avoid: touching Kaz.

Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, kinda Fluff???

Word Count: 2.6K

Warnings: Blood, explosion, Kaz Brekker isn't able to express his emotions properly, who could've guessed that?

“They still haven’t given us the signal, Kaz.” You pressed, anxiously watching the man in front of you fidget with his lock-picking tool as he tried to avoid your gaze as best as he could.

At first, the job seemed to be relatively manageable. Inej and Jesper would climb into the warehouse first, surveying the area and notifying you once everything was deemed safe. After that, Kaz and you would pick the lock, steal the blueprints you needed for your next big heist, and leave. It was something you had done countless times before - always getting out successfully - so no one was really worried about it when you went in.

However, the whole situation just didn’t sit right with you. Upon entering the supposedly abandoned building, you were immediately starting to get suspicious of how clean it was. It was far too well taken care of for a warehouse without any real occupants since the previous shareholders had gone ‘bankrupt’. And even though all of that definitely rubbed you the wrong way, Kaz proceeded to make his way through the dingy hallways in the direction of the vault. You didn’t even try to get him to reconsider, he wouldn’t have listened anyway.

By now, the two others should have already cleared the entirety of the premise, causing Kaz to become a bit restless. His fingers were itching to finally get all of this over with. The blueprints were crucial for his next plan, so you fully understood why he needed this mission to work. But it genuinely unnerved you that he was ready to throw caution to the wind just because your friends diverted from the original plan.

“What are you doing?” He leaned down just enough to access the lock without putting too much pressure on his bad leg. The weather had been terribly frigid over the last few weeks, and it was taking a toll on his agility. It pained you to watch him put himself through this without being able to offer him help, but you knew that he would be too stubborn to actually accept it.

“What does it look like? Interpretive dance?” He sneered, removing his leather gloves before getting to work. His alabaster hands clashed with the rich black colour of his coat, making them look almost translucent. You watched him as he reached for the tool, pausing briefly to prepare his mind for the coldness of the metal. With a huffed breath, he brought it up to the lock, cautiously manoeuvring the tip around inside the mechanism. You didn’t know why he had such a severe aversion to touch - one where he couldn’t even bear to be touched by cold materials or objects - but you were well aware that it had to have been something pretty traumatic for him to react this way, meaning that you wouldn’t pry.

“Inej and Jesper haven’t told us that everything is clear, you can’t just ignore your own orders!” You hissed, giving him an exasperated glare that could have just as well been a carbon copy of his own, whenever he had to deal with Jesper’s antics.

“My orders are the only orders I can disregard without a guilty conscience.”

“Oh please, you and having a guilty conscience? I thought you weren’t one for fairytal-” The sentence was harshly cut off by yells echoing from the corridor adjacent to the one you were in. You turned your head, whilst Kaz was still focused on picking the lock.

“Kaz! Y/N! Don’t!” Jesper yelled as he finally appeared in your line of sight. When he saw the situation you were in, his already frantic eyes grew even wider, a look of horror spreading all over his face.

“Jesper, what is-”

“Explosives!” The words didn’t even fully leave his mouth as the distinct click of the lock forced your eyes back towards Kaz. He only had time to shout for both of you to run before a deafening bang sounded from behind the door. Only Jesper was still able to follow his command. You were still wrapping your head around the situation when a sharp blow lifted you off your feet with brutal force.

Your body hit the concrete ground with a firm thud, rendering you unable to move for a few moments after the impact. Everything around you was spinning, and you felt as if you had just lost the majority of your ability to hear, but staying on the ground wasn’t an option. The distinct metallic smell of an explosive-induced fire travelled through the dust-filled air, as you forced yourself to sit up. You could barely make out the silhouettes and shapes of the objects around you as you watched the fire crawl out of the room. If you didn’t leave now, you would be the next thing to succumb to its wrath.

Kaz.

The thought shot into your mind like the top of an arrow hitting a bullseye. Your distorted sight and slight dizziness limited your ability to spot him greatly, but you wouldn’t leave him here to die.

A violent cough caught your attention, and you saw the hunched-over form of Kaz futilely trying to sit up. Since he had been so close to the epicentre of the explosion, the sheer power of the blow had thrown him right against the rough wall opposite the door. You could recognize scratches and bruises all over his face as his eyes hectically peered through the rubble around him.

“Kaz!” You called out, wobbly dashing towards him. His head snapped around to face you, an emotion akin to relief flashing over his features. He tried to push himself up, at least to get into a sitting position, but his whole body ached as he attempted to do so. It was only then that both of you noticed the torn-up fabric of his trousers revealing a deep gash on the side of his leg. His good leg. “This looks bad.”

“Go.” He let out a laboured breath, as he let his back rest against the wall.

“And leave you here to die? We both know I won’t do that.” You thankfully managed to spot his cane, bringing it over to him as quickly as you could. Kneeling down next to him, you tried to assess the damage with weary eyes.

“Y/N, that wasn’t a request. Go.” The harsh tone of his voice didn’t faze you anymore. He might be a stubborn bastard, but even he didn’t deserve to meet his end in a filthy burning warehouse.

“If you think that I’ll start listening to you know, you are greatly mistaken.”

“I won’t be able to walk.” He hissed in pain as he finally managed to sit up properly. If it had been anyone else but Kaz Brekker, you wouldn’t even have thought twice about pulling him to his feet and dragging him outside. But you couldn’t do that to him.

“Take my hand.” You hoisted yourself up to your feet again, stretching out your hand for him to take. This was risky, however, you needed to do something.

“No.” His lips were pressed into a thin line as he looked up at you, apprehension written all over his face.

“Kaz, for Saints’ sake! Look, I’m not trying to ask you to marry me, I’m trying to save your life!” This attempt at humour wasn’t much appreciated.

“I can’t.” His gaze wandered to his hands. His bare hands. He didn’t have his gloves. Shit, this only managed to get worse. You really didn’t want to do this.

“Listen, I can’t - and won’t - force you to do anything.” Your previously demanding voice grew a bit softer as you gave him one last chance. “I know that this is going to be really uncomfortable for you, but we have to leave. I’ll do whatever you tell me if that means that you’ll agree to let me help you.”

“Okay.” You watched the way his hand shook as he reached for yours. With a surprisingly tight grip, he held onto it, allowing you to pull him to his feet.

Immediately upon standing up, an intense pang of pain shot through his legs and he began to stumble forward, his body threatening to give in again. Your mind went into overdrive as you lunged forward, hastily putting an arm under his shoulder and letting him cling to yours.

His heart began to race when he realized the situation he was in. His bare hands had been on your bare hands and now there were only two layers of clothes separating your skin. You were close. Way too close for him to function properly. The rising waters mixed with the stinging ache rushing through his legs made him want to vomit.

“Kaz.” Your voice pulled him out of his stupor briefly, giving him enough distraction to keep him from pushing you away and having a panic attack right then and there. “We need to move. Please, tell me what to do.”

“Keep talking.” He shifted his weight to partially lean on his cane, reducing the pressure he had put on you. “Distract me.”

The cracking of the fire behind you made the urgency you felt prior to this return. You managed to give him a brief nod before carefully beginning to inch forward. One of your arms supported his back, while the other rested on his chest to keep him from falling forward. From where your hand was situated, you could basically feel his heart thud against his ribcage, his rapid breathing only underlining the panic brewing inside him.

“Do you remember that one week two months ago? When all of your heist plans went missing and you never figured out who took them, even after they returned the week after?” You had to distract him. You had to keep talking.

“Yes?”

“I hid them.” It was a stupid thing to bring up. It didn’t have any correlation to what was happening right now, but it seemed to get him to focus on something else than the current situation.

“What?” The words almost came out as a chuckle, but you weren’t sure whether that was because he genuinely found it entertaining, or because the absurdity of the situation beat him to it.

“You were ill. You had a fever.” Kaz almost froze when he heard that. It was true. He had been ill that week - probably one of the worst fevers he had since the plague. But he never told anyone. He even made sure to lock his window to stop Inej from suddenly appearing. Initially, he had intended to retreat into his office, and just continue to work on some upcoming heist plans. However, one day after breakfast, all of the plans were gone, and no one seemed to know a thing. Not even a thorough search through the Slat made them reappear. Eventually, he just decided to give you the week off for ‘recreational activities after an especially tiring heist’. Lo and behold, after his fever had set again, the plans returned to his desk again - neatly stacked and sorted. “I hid them so you could rest. I knew what you were trying to do, and I didn’t want you to overwork yourself just to keep anyone from being made aware that you can get sick too.”

Ask her why.

The questions bubbled inside his head. Why would you go out of your way to force him to rest? Why did you even care about his well-being enough to do something like that?

“Why?” He rasped out, becoming even more aware of the way his heart raged against its restraints.

“I suppose for the same reason why I’m not letting you stay here and die.” That statement was a bit too honest for your liking, and Kaz seemed to have picked up on it. However, before he could press the matter further, a sudden wave of nausea and vertigo overcame him. The waves had ultimately managed to pull him under.

And without being able to take another step, his legs buckled, the world around him fading into black. The only thing you could do was to hold onto him as he fell, only scarcely breaking the fall before his limp body hit the ground. He had fainted.

The next time he woke up he wasn’t in the warehouse anymore. He was at the Slat. In his own room. In his own bed. It seemed to be late - the darkness engulfing him was a pretty strong base for that thesis. The only source of light that had even allowed him to recognize where he was, came from somewhere beside him. He didn’t bother to look where it was coming from, nor did he have the energy to turn his head.

Every still-intact muscle screamed at him, but he felt a strong urge to sit up. His efforts were futile though. A hand quickly hovered above his chest, not touching him, but present enough to get him to abandon his task.

“Don’t.” Kaz could feel his entire body relax when he heard your voice. He had half-heartedly expected it to be Nina, or maybe even Jesper, there to scold him for being so foolish. Having you here was way preferable. “Don’t try to sit up. You need to rest. And if Nina sees that I allowed you to sit up, she’ll probably stop my heart. Or yours. Or both of our hearts if she’s feeling especially murderous.”

His head fell back on his pillow, angling it a little to the side to take a better look at you and also finding the lamp that just barely illuminated the corner of his room. You sat right next to his bed, some novel resting idly in your lap as you gave him a comforting smile. And even though he still felt as if he had been run over by a carriage going full speed, he couldn’t help the ghost of a smirk rush over his lips.

“What happened?” The question had been burning holes in his head since the bomb went off. He had a rough idea, but the details were rather blurry.

“It was a trap. Dime Lions. They paid our informant to lure us right into their trap. Apparently, Inej found a stack of letters in the not-so-abandoned office, but Jesper was too late to tell us.” You recited what they told you after dragging Kaz back to the Slat. You didn’t remember every single detail, but this amount of information would suffice for now.

“I should have waited.” Kaz groaned, regret flooding his mind as he remembered the events of the day prior. Had he only waited a little while longer…

“Hey,” You reached forward, resting your hand just mere inches away from his. “You couldn’t have known. We all made it out alive, so you have nothing to blame yourself for.”

“That doesn’t rectif-”

“Kaz.” He only sighed in response to your warning glare.

“Fine.”

“I think I should go down and tell Nina that you’re awake. She wanted to take another look at your leg once you’re conscious again.” You were just about to stand up when Kaz seized the hand close to his. His touch was featherlight, - not at all comparable to the tight grip he had on it a day earlier - but it was still there.

“I knew that it was you.” He croaked out, his eyes fixed on yours as if you were about to vanish once he averted them.

“That I was what?” You replied perplexed, your brain still trying to process the fact that he was willingly touching you right now.

“That you were the person who stole the heist plans. I didn’t know your reasoning, but I knew that it was you.”

“You knew? Why didn’t you say anything? If it had been Jesper, you would’ve ripped him to shreds?”

A pause.

He knew exactly why he didn’t confront you about it. He just couldn’t tell you. At least not yet.

“I suppose for the same reason I wanted you to leave the warehouse without me.” His hand gave yours a brief squeeze before eventually letting go. Even though he didn’t say it out loud, the knowing smile that began to settle on your face told him that you knew.

Taglist:

Grishaverse fics in general: @yesshewrites1 @dal-light

Kaz Brekker: @ell0ra-br3kk3r @juneberrie @writingmysanity @b3kk3r-by-br3kk3r @brekkers-desigirl @fall-writes

#kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker #grishaverse #grishaverse x reader #six of crows x reader #six of crows

[bullet-prooflove]

The Halfway Point Part 3: A Safe Space - Angel Reyes x Reader (feat: Felipe Reyes)

Tagging: @witches-unruly-heart @keyweegirlie @annetje @infinity-mars @danzer8705 @im-just-a-mississippi-girl @appreciatelove @the-wandering-lunatic @weiwei0210 @anime-weeb-4-life @multifandomloversworld @harperdoodle @est1887 @briefpersonenemy @creativitybeware @mortal--soul @buddinglinguist @spookyboogyuniverse @spaghettificationandpretzels @nu1freakshow @thebaileybugle @legally-a-bastard @oureternalbond @bonsaijoons @sclitvdes

The next day when you find Felipe in the rose garden you're surprised. You didn't expect him to follow through on his promise with the bench but it's seven in the morning and he's sitting on the damp grass alongside his toolbox and a small stack of wood, reinforcing the thing.

“Rotted through.” He tells you, showing you one of the slats. “It's a wonder you didn't fall straight through it.”

You think back to you and Angel last week. How he had made love to you on the grass instead of the bench because he was adamant it wouldn't hold despite the fact you were adamant it would. Felipe catches sight of your smile and shakes his head.

“I don't want to know.”

When you come by at again at noon with some water and some sandwiches for the older man, he's still sitting in the same place. This time though he has a paint tin perched next to him and a brush in his hand.

“Protects it from the weather.” He tells you in that gruff tone of his.

You sit and set down the collection of snacks and water bottles alongside him. He puts down the paint brush and covers the tin with the lid before stripping off his gloves. He doesn’t say anything when he picks up his sandwich and takes a bite, not even a thank you. You find it a little bit infuriating but you are determined not to let it get to you.

“Why do you keep it walled off?” he asks you thoughtfully, gesturing at the area around you.

You consider the question because there are multiple reasons, you’re just not sure which one to give him.

“Rose kush.” You say, tilting your head pointedly at the roses. “I use them to create the strain that grows in that field, they’re my secret weapon.”

“The real reason?” he prompts because Felipe knows when someone isn't giving him the whole story.

You pause for a moment because it’s not easy to discuss that sometimes the world gets a little too much and you buckle under the weight of your responsibilities. That sometimes you need a break from everything and everyone.

“Sometimes I just need space.” You confess to him. “A place that I can come to when everything gets a little too much. Being here around the roses, it just soothes me, it reminds me...”

You trail off, picking at the crust of your sandwich.

“Of what?” Felipe askes as he dusts the crumbs from his hands.

You swallow hard against the ache in your chest, because despite the fact it’s been a couple of years you still feel the loss acutely.

“Of when my Nana was alive. She was always this safe space for me, and I didn’t have that for a while after she was gone.”

There’s silence for a moment before Felipe breaks it.

“I still talk to Marisol.” He admits with a sigh. “Everyday I have my morning coffee and I tell her about the boys, things they've done, interactions we've had. I’ve not always been the best father but I'm trying because I’m all they've got right now.”

“I think you’re a pretty good one.” You tell him. Despite his gruffness you believe it, you think about the nights where Angel didn’t want to be alone after his mother’s passing, Felipe had still stepped up despite the fact he was grieving. They never talked about anything but baseball but it had helped Angel not feel so adrift. “You’re still present, there when they need you.”

“What about your father?” Felipe questions as he bundles up his rubbish. “Why isn't he here making sure that gate gets oiled?”

You shrug your shoulders.

“I don't know who he is.” You tell him truthfully. “I don’t even think my mom did. She was pretty wild. Left home at fifteen, followed a couple of bands around the country, came back one night and dropped a baby in my Nana's arms and took off again. She died when I was fourteen, she got drunk and took a header off a bridge in in Wisconsin, apparently someone dared her to walk along the handrail... the rest is history.”

“I'm sorry to hear that.”

He means it, he really does. No child deserves to be abandoned by their parent, no child needs to hear that drugs, drink and a good time are worth more than they are. Despite that you’re still seemingly well adjusted. He knows you’ve attended counselling; you’ve talked about it openly in your interviews.

“It is what it is.” You tell him, collecting the trash from him and putting it inside a compostable carrier bag. “It didn’t stop me from living my life, from going to college and becoming a botanist.”

“What about the farm?” he asks, his elbows coming to rest upon his knees.

“My Nana,” You explain, tying a knot in the top of the career bag. “She started off small in the sixties and then I helped legitimise it. I loved tinkering with plants, combining different things to see what the result was and that’s how we ended up with rose kush. It's helped a lot of people so far.”

“You believe in what you do.” Felipe states.

He respects that. It’s not often that you find people so firm in their ideals, that will stick to their guns when challenged but you do. You sincerely believe in what you’re harvesting and selling and he wants to understand that.

“I do.” You tell him. “I know you probably think I’m no better than the Galindos but this means something to me. The health care system is broken, and people can’t pay for their medicine and if Rose Kush brings them any kind of relief, then I’m glad for that. Until you have seen someone you love in agony, suffering because they can’t escape their pain, I don’t think you get an opinion.”

There’s a conviction in your words, he knows your Nana died of cancer, he can't imagine what it was like to watch someone you love waste away like that. In a way he’s glad that Marisol’s death was quick, even if he never got to say goodbye.

“Come to dinner tomorrow night.” He says both surprising himself and you. “Bring Angel. You can check on that rose bush, make sure it's taken to the soil.”

“Just to check on that rose bush.” You agree, raising to your feet. “Make sure you haven’t been neglecting it.”

“Give me a little credit." He mutters as he tugs on his gloves once again and removes the lid from the paint can. “It's only been a couple of days.”

“Uh huh.” You tease, lingering by the gate for a moment before you smile. “I'll see you tomorrow Felipe"

Love Angel? Get added to his tag list!

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

#angel reyes x reader #angel reyes x you #angel reyes fanfiction #angel mayans #angel reyes #felipe reyes mayans #felipe reyes

[risingscorchingsuns]

hey guys! my posting/writing/general activity is probably going to get a little slower for a bit. i’ll still be here, but im going through a tough time right now. its been a frankly pretty awful week and im getting the feeling its gonna be rough for at least a solid minute. longer explanation below if you’d like it, but tw for mentions of trauma and abuse.

So ive mentioned it before, but i have complex PTSD. my parents split when i was very young, and my stepmom moved in with my dad almost immediately afterwards. when i try and remember it too much my brain gets foggy, but to put it simply, she was horrifically abusive to me and my younger siblings. she resented us for being born, as living reminders that my mother got to my father first. for over a decade she was the sole adult influence in my life, and from the age of eleven she manipulated me to believe she was the only person in the world i could trust. she bullied me for my neurodivergence, my appearance, my interests, anything she could get to lord over me. i had no escape for most of my formative years, because she cut me off and isolated me from any form of support I could possibly have, from trying to force me to change schools to convincing me my own father gave up on me. I only cut her off permanently last year.

Summers are really, really hard for me. When she and my dad moved across the country, I had to spend summers in Texas with her, and her alone. I had nobody. In a state far away from everyone who loved me, where she had full control and access to any form of communication. She’d regularly go through my messages I sent to friends, partners, even my mother to make sure I wasn’t “making up lies about her”. I was trapped, and completely, utterly isolated. Every day was about survival, and every day was about just making it to that night, through that hour, through that minute. Every single minute I lived in anticipation of the next, walking on eggshells to appease her impossible standards. When the weather starts to get warmer, my brain starts to anticipate going back there. I shut down, and go into survival mode. I have a tendency to isolate, though it’s something I’m working on.

The weather is starting to warm up where I live. I’m starting to get nightmares again, and I wake up feeling heavy. I’m stressed out all the time, and I constantly feel either hypervigilant to the point of paralysis, or completely dissociated. I know I’m in for a rough patch until my brain realizes I dont have to go back, and settles down my trauma responses. But it may be a while before that happens. I only ask to please be patient with me for a little while. I’m really sorry.

It’s hard for me to admit I’m not doing well. I might take this down if I find myself overthinking it. I will have good days, I always do. But for now, I’m in a bit of a dark place, and I deeply apologize for the resulting change in my interactions. I love you all deeply, and I want you to know I’m safe- I have a support system, and I dont ever have to see her again. I’m in a better place than I used to be, and I’m stronger every year. But the weather is starting to warm up, and I’m starting to shut down.

Please be well. I’ll respond to things as best I can, and I’ll still be around when I’m able.

Leon 🪲

#not kny #serious post #long post #tw abuse #tw trauma

[mnoa]

grief (xxx n reader)

im emo so time to write a fic to let it out 😻 u can apply this to any male character u want but im just gonna tag genshin cause im not in many fandoms sooo 💋 AND AYO I LEARNED HOW TO PUT GIFS 💪 mentions death !!!

It's weird without you around.

He missed your scent, your smile, your presence, everything. His life was so perfect with you in it. A loving partner, a wonderful home, and loving days. You were absolutely everything to him.

He really regrets having those arguments with you. He could've just said sorry and moved on to prevent it from happening. He wanted to jump off the balcony right at that moment.

He held a photo of you two, keeping it close to him. Tears running down his face. He missed you so much. All he wanted right now was for you to hug him tight, tighter than you ever have before. He cried, hard. Even though he knew no one would come to his rescue, especially you.

He picks his head up and goes to the kitchen, trying his best to not break down and cry uncontrollably. He picked up a glass, trying his best to swallow it. You would always remind him to drink water, making this even more dreadful. Before he could even swallow it, he falls to the ground, crying loudly.

Jesus, how hard he wished you could hear him cry your name, for you to come back and tell him everything was okay.

It hurt him so much. He always hated waiting for you, but now it was an endless wait. He would never see you again. He would never wake up to your beautiful face resting near his. He would never be able to do all those things you did together again. Everything reminds him of you.

The tears aren't merciless as they fall down his "perfect, handsome, pretty face", just like you said before. Your hands, soft as silk, run through his hair and down to his jaw. You would give the most comforting gaze anyone could ever give to a poor grieving man.

"I'll always be here for you, okay?"

He cries louder, the tips of his fingers going pale white as his grip loosens on the counter. He falls down, back against the counter cabinets. His vision, faded and blurry. Just like how he thought of his life now that you were gone.

You were up there, and he was still stuck down here. Waiting for you.

"An endless sleep" is what he called your heart-breaking ending. A rainy night is what awaited your death. It was the first that month, and the month was nearly done. Thunder follows the strike of light outside. The weather represented what he felt, never-ending, never silenced, out of control. The rain was like his tears, falling down with solid power, drenching anything it hit below.

"I'm sorry" is what he muttered. To who? To himself? To you. He felt so sorry for you. He would've felt so much better if it was him who replaced your place on that bed. He knew that many people loved you compared to him. He was nothing but an unloved piece of shit.

He knew you were dying, but he wasn't sure until you told him weeks before. He knew he was wrong to get mad at that moment, but how could you take more care of him when you yourself were dying? Slowly walking towards inevitable death. He was sorry he couldn't do anything. How could you not do anything as well? You had a choice, to live or not. But what he didn't know is that you've been in pain for long, too long. You've accepted your death. You knew it was better to end it than continue in pain.

He fell into silence. A sigh is what left his tired mouth before he slowly picked himself up and went to bed without any preparation. He silently and hardly wished that he wouldn't wake up from his slumber, just to meet you again.

all i can say is my toes hurt writing this and i had intense period cramps so i hope u liked this 💗💞

#genshin angst #genshin impact #mona genshin impact #childe x reader #zhongli #zhongli x reader #venti #genshin venti #diluc #diluc x reader #kaeya #kaeya x reader #y/n #genshin #story #writer #i love you #death #dead #LOL #genshin x you #kiseatories

[mildmayfoxe]

talkin bout. covid stuff. i'm not sick dont worry

as careful readers are aware ive been masking inside my own house to avoid whatever my roommates are up to for almost a month now. started jan 3. which like is fine its whatever i do feel stupid doing it but i would rather feel stupid than be killed or injured for life by a pandemic that everyone pretends is over. but ive been keeping an eye on all the various wastewater tracking both nationally and locally and the numbers were definitely getting MUCH better here considering that they were much higher than the national (which took me a lot longer to realize than it should have, i was just looking at graph go down and not what the actual copies per ml was ON the graph. stupid) so that's a positive change. but even though it was getting much better and i had high hopes for being able to stop masking in my HOUSE !!! everything now is indicating that the numbers are starting to go back up again which means im in for another lord nows how many more weeks wearing a mask and waiting six+ minutes every time i come back in my room before taking it off to let the air circulate first. and who knows if that's even effective! who knows how much air from the rest of the house is getting through the weather stripping tape i used to try to seal my door as best i could! and it's not the worst hardship in the world but i'm just tired. i haven't washed my face properly this whole time because i figured out how to shower with a mask on thankfully even though washing my hair is a challenge but my skin is so bad right now. and it's my birthday on thursday and i don't even feel comfortable going to my ONE friend's house so i dont have to be alone because i feel like i can't trust anyone because i don't know anyone who takes covid as seriously as i do. no one cares anymore and i can't afford to live alone but i dont know how much longer i can live like this. i'm so tired of being scared of everyone and i'm so tired of leaving my life on hold for a pandemic no one seems to want to do anything to end. not to even mention the ongoing GENOCIDE! not to be fucking DEPRESSING on main and i didn't mean to write this much but i'm just so sad. it's so hard to hope that things will ever get better. anyway 🤙🏻 the grief is never-ending but you still gotta do laundry or whatever

#chatpost #sorry i'm not in a good mood im just being sad under the cut

[lostacelonnie]

Hi welcome back! God i feel that life has been wild lately so i totally understand. Oh hey no worries ive been in a boat too of like. Man i really want to do this thing but my energy just isnt there. Yikes i hope you enter a stage of having more rest time soon. 8 exams? What the hell thats too many. Baking is a fun hobby i love to partake in that one myself. I like to make sweet breads & such. & its good to have a hobby to like. Pull yourself out of your head when stuff like school gets to be too much. Having to exist in public unfortunately means people will sometimes try to talk to you when you just. Want to go about your day. That is surprising but i also went to school with mostly a bunch of pricks who were awful people so. Had to look up what gran canaria is but it sounds like a nice place id love to visit sometime. Clearly schools work on fae rules. I will save for ruan mei i swear. After i pull archeron. I got black swan with the free pulls i had saved so im hoping to nab archeron. I instantly fell in love with her. Very nice clara supremacy she is so good. One day ill have her on main. I think i stopped at tb 60 so i can work on a few characters but the artifact grind hates me. Oh that sounds real interesting i cant wait to see it play out i just finished the bit where cocolia turned bronya & took the one herrscher at uh. Ch 3 end? Oh i know that one! Catarina my beloved she's so stupid i love her. Easily one of the best protags in recent memory. Dunmeshi is real good so far ive been enjoying it & seeing my girl marcille animated is everything i hoped for. Love my favorite fail girl elf. Im caught up on penacony & still dont understand the racist sparkle thing. Might be i wasnt fully paying attention at the time though. Seele confirmed for best girl by all herscherrs. Oh she must have a good amount of lore im excited to read that. Oh so thats what that means okay. Kinda love that it sounds fun. & more good natured than when people here say that about america. Good luck on surviving i believe in you!

HI THANK YOU!!!! god it really has. and the weather here has been so gloomy recently that i have no energy to do anything even if i have the time. the horrors are endless but we stay silly. and thankies once again!!! i MIRACULOUSLY managed to not fail anything so were all good. unfortunately this month is also already packed but luckily its stuff i more or less either know [polish] or like [geography]. and two of the teachers i disliked got fired AJDKFJG. history guy for offering to raise students' grades if they go around spreading konfederacja [a polish extremely far-right party] flyers and that math teacher who couldnt count for saying hitler was a good person. just another day in a polish school, i guess. but both of our replacement teachers are very cool so we're so back. god yeah totally!!! not only do i have something to do for a while but i ALSO get to eat at the end. literally a win/win situation. yeah that Is annoying but as i mentioned its luckily not as common over here.... and ouhggh pain. gran canaria is VERY beautiful but id also like to visit the other canary islands someday...... the carnival on tenerife is one of the, if not the biggest, ones in spain so thatd be fun to see as well. i only missed the celebrations on gran canaria by one day which was quite annoying but oh well. GOD YEAH. im still convinced School Air is a thing bc i simply cannot explain so many things without that assumption. GOOD LUCK WITH BOTH RUAN MEI AND ACHERON!!! im also saving for acheron hehehehe. strange woman and a mei expy so shes a must pull. and also congrats on the black swan!!!! i agree clara is just. cracked. she has carried me through this game and she continues to do so. tho sim uni gold and gears is kinda beating my ass ngl. since i only have the nodes that require full cognition range left to do. oh absolutely fair, i did that for a while and rn am doing the same but with tl 65. but i DID manage to finallyyyyyy max out wolfie's skills the other day so thats done. i do want to get one better artifact for her but i have chars im prioritizing a bit more. and same the artifact grind hates everyone i think. planar ornaments are much easier to grind imo or at least I Personally have much better luck with them than with cavern of corrosion stuff. but that may also be because i genuinely enjoy doing sim uni so it doesnt feel like as much as a chore as coc. AND OH HAVE FUN THEN!!!! the wendy arc, ironically, is the event that kinda butterfly effect causes Literally The Whole game. CATARINA IS VERY FUN YEAH i look forward to finally continuing that.... and dunmesh as well......... oh and with the sparkle thing afaik its much more prominent in the chinese version because. now dont quote me on this because I Do Not Speak Chinese but i have heard that when talking to aventurine, she uses an Actual Chinese Slur Against Romani People. which. not cool. but yeah its somewhat of a strange issue and ive seen a lot of different opinions from both sides so tbh idk where i stand on the whole thing. SEELE 🔛🔝!!! and dw im Working on the summary but ive also realized how much time its gonna take me to write down All Of That so please give me some time i promise ill get it done asap but ah. and yeah its very fun!! i generally feel like a lot of polish humor [ESPECIALLY online but irl as well] isnt quite as. Patriotic as that of the us. but to each their own adjfkjs. AND THANK YOU o7!!!!

#i also just lost an 11h long noita run yesterday which was. painful. #but ive been having more fun than i thought i would with honkai part 2 #asks #pen pals

[heeliopheelia]

welp for some odd reason the less fuck u give the better are the results?? how is life real man but yes uni is meh but im powering it through!!!

how are YOU wife!!?? are doing good? stay warm cuz the weather is brrrr rn

im so excited for christmas stuff even though i hate this capitalistic holiday!! ^^

i have a feeling hee may win all the polles tho LOOL

I'm glad you're doing better!! It's only gonna get better from now on, trust 🤞

I'm well... It's not really my time tbh 😔 I'm not in the best headspace lately but I'm trying to get better!! PLS IT'S SNOWED SO MUCH IN MY TOWN I COULDN'T GET OUT OF MY HOUSE FOR THE ENTIRE DAY YESTERDAY AND TODAY MY TRAIN HAS BEEN DELAYED BY ALMOST 2H 💀💀 Christmas vibes are hitting hard tho so... A win is a win (unfortunately I'm the biggest xmas fucker in this world) 👀🎄

Make sure to dress warmly tho!! Take care of yourself please 🫶

HEE IS EATING UP EVERY DAMN POLL AND I'M NOT COMPLAINING BUT LIKE LET OTHER BOYS SHINE TOO PLEASE YOU FUCKER (respectfully cause i luv him 🤭)

It's always so nice to hear from you my love 🥹🫶

#–wifey 💍. #carly's gossip center (✿˵╹∀╹˵)(╹∀╹˵❁)

[magnoliamyrrh]

genuine question how did u deal with your pregnancy scare because i think im going through one at the moment :(

hey dear <3 im sorry to hear that ur going through this, i hope its gonna b a false scare. it can definetely be scary and both times when I've gone through this it made me feel rather crazy

before i say anything else ill say tho: i went through this luckily in a place that allows abortion and knowing i had the money for tests or an abortion. if you dont, please reach out and ill try my best to work together to figure out something that would work. and if itd be really hard to get the money for tests (you can get those at most pharmacies and bigger stores) or an abortion any other way, please also reach out to me; i can most likely help out at least a bit with that. know that you're not alone, many of us have gone through this; it happens 🫂

...mostly, i tried to keep myself grounded and not spiral, which was hard, but i tried. i tried to tell myself that until enough time passed to take a test, there was nothing I could do about it, and thus it'd be best to just not think about it as much as possible until then; just set an alarm for that day and see then, because no amount of worrying, spiraling, thinking, etc. in the meantime would change anything. i also tried to not spiral into self hatred or self blame too much, because that again wouldn't be productive or change anything, just make me feel worse. these things happen, it is what it is.... i still thought about it and freaked out from time to time and it was always in the back of my mind, but trying to just think about it like this helped me during that time, and helped me from losing it as much as i could have..... i also had a tendency to want to put off getting a test and to avoid it, but I tried to tell myself again, that weather i know or dont know it wont change if its positive or not, and thus it would be better to know, and to know before the whole thing goes on longer if it is so. so, taking the actual tests was definetely anxiety inducing and scary, but i tried to tell myself that it had to be done, and it was the better option, and that I would be more okay if I knew, than didn't

.... one of my issues personally was that despite whatever rational thoughts i was having about if i was pregnant i realistically should not keep it for a very long list of reasons, i found out that i had an instict from somewhere in me to want to do so anyway. thus, i was more reticent to find out if i actually am or not, because I didn't know how I would handle that. i really struggled with this both times, dont know if you are. what helped me with that was just telling myself that no matter what, i couldn't. listing to myself all the reasons why it wouldn't work out - both for myself, and because even more importantly i wouldn't realistically be in a position to provide a kid everything they would need and everything that i would want to give them.... and trying to tell myself too, that its alright if i need to get an abortion; its not a bad thing (even though I generally feel this way, I've tended to end up personally conflicted when it comes to me). now, idk how your life is, where you're at, and how you're feeling about all this. what I can say is, if you are actually pregnant it's going to be your decision, and you'll get through it, and you'll be okay, but please if that is the case, really think about it.... but I would generally say, that is not something to keep too much on your mind until you take an actual test (or your period comes). it helped me to tell myself all the thoughts and contemplations just arent doing too much or taking me anywhere until i know

something i tried to tell myself too and that I'll tell u too, is that its gonna be okay. some women have a hard time with abortions, and others don't - thankfully ive never actually had to have one, just been there for friends who have- but it's going to be okay. you'll get through it and come out the other end and you'll be okay. you'll be okay until you find out and after you find out, whatever the results may be. you'll get through it, as you have gotten through other things in life <3

.... im sorry if this didn't help too much, but that's basically how I got through... the first time this happened it was actually due to something non-consensual too which was kinda a different kind of scary and crazy feeling to deal with, and I hope that's not the case with you, but if it is im sorry, and if you want you can send me another ask and I'll share how I got through that one..... but.. mostly.. just try to be gentle and kind with yourself, and try not to overthink until you can get an actual answer. do other things you enjoy, get other stuff you need to get done done, meditate, listen to music, talk to people, whatever may help you keep calm and take your mind off of it in the meantime. and know that you're not alone with going through this, and that youll b okay. ❤️🧡💛 wishing you the best 🌸

[renewingagain]

wednesday 4 october 2023 // 12:06am

just a quick one cus i can feel my eyes drooping

running is fun! it didnt feel quite as hard today and im enjoying working out again lets keep it up

still a bit sad over rhys, i know it will take time and i'll get over it. i been thru worse lol when i broke up with alex i was pure devastated but i got over it :) i think i was just caught up in the excitement of meeting someone new who i ended up rly liking, but life goes on

the lewie sitch is also a bit of a headfuck though. i like him too and care for him deeply idk why. but i dont know if i want a relationship with him or not. its been such a confusing one because we'd been seeing each other on the idea that i was leaving sheff so it was all casual so i never really saw him like that. i just feel like he has things to work through which he is doing now but do i want to carry that? hes really cute though and i like his face. i love being affectionate with him. but do i like him or do i just like the affection. hes lovely though and i know he likes me and wants more so like is it fair that after all this time i dont really know what i want

i got excited over the rhys stuff before it ended and i just dont know i feel that same excitement for lewie. but then its hard cus ive never given him a chance really in the sense of us seeing each other with the view of actually becoming boyfriends if that makes sense. however, i didnt even do that with rhys. we just met up and saw each other but in my head i could see it going somewhere. idk if i get that with lewie, but i know i did kinda see it before so im really confused

maybe we should stop seeing each other because i dont know what my feelings are. its really not fair on him but at least we are talking about it now

i need more time to think about it

the change in weather is getting to me - i definitely have seasonal affective disorder but im trying my best to keep my head up - have been feeling a little anxious and lonely lately but i think that is purely because life is in a weird place right now. it will pass! and things are still good overall if i take a step back and look at all i've done this year and what i've achieved, and who i've become. i've continued to change drastically and for the better so well done g, ur doing amazing sweetie

gn

[rainbowdelicsunshine]

All 49 of the weird asks!! Go crazy go stupid. Also hi Fozz! 💚

Hello hello my dear friend!! It's been so long since I last spoke to you so I'm really happy you're here! Let's get started!!

1. If you have a lighter, what color is it?

It is currently a bright yellow lighter that I've gotten while I was in Weed, California on my way home from Universal Studios/LA!

2. Pepsi box blue or cheetos bag orange?

Honestly, why not both? Both are really wicked shades of both colors so I think they have a pretty good tie here! (Though I really miss the blue that Pepsi used to be in the 90s-early 2000s)

3. Do you like pasta?

I FRICKIN LOVE PASTA!!!!!!!

Noodles are the absolute best and my favorite kind of pasta if I had to pick, ramen, spaghetti, alfredo, whatever comes with noodles, I'll love it!

I also love macaroni pasta, bow tie pasta, shell pasta, rigatoni pasta, rotini pasta and ravioli pasta as well!

4. How often are you on tumblr?

Since it's pretty much the only form of social media I have (my Artstagram got hacked a little over a year ago and I didn't try getting it back after no response from the staff since I hated Instagram anyhow), I'm pretty on here a lot of the time I'm on my phone if I'm not drawing, watching YouTube, or otherwise having IRL responsibilities and obligations take my attention away from being on Tumblr

According to my phone, the time I spend on here can range around 3-4 hours a day for the past two months, so hopefully that helps answer your question too!

5. Are you only doing this because you’re bored?

I mean,,,,, why else would ask games like these even exist??

Of course I'm doing this cuz I'm bored lol!!

6. What blogs do you mostly interact with?

Im not too good at any naming specific users since I feel I have so many of them pass through here (I'm bad with names and faces at times sorry y'all), but I do know for sure I talk to a lot of mutuals/users that follow me and send things/asks to my inbox a lot of the time I'm online haha!

7. Can you swim?

Yep I sure can my friend!! It's one of my most favorite things to do in the entire world, if there's a body of water anywhere and I have a swimsuit on me (esp rivers, lakes and indoor pools), I will run and be right in the water before you know

I've been able to swim since the age of 3 and started swimming as a whole at 1 year old with my mom and grandma!

Myself and a lot of people I know (including my parents and my grandparents) think I was a mermaid in a past life due to how good I am at swimming since I was super young and because every time I'm swimming and am under the water, I feel like I'm in a way at home!

8. Have you had water today?

I have not!

As controversial and a bad habit as it is, I don't really drink water all that often, I do occasionally drink a cup of water since really feeling up to it

And I also drink water in a water bottle I carry on me for hot weather in case I go walking somewhere!

9. Which do you prefer, cotton candy or funnel cake?

I would have to pick cotton candy for this one, because despite me loving funnel cake and wanting to eat more of it one day, I only ever got to have one once back when I was around 16 when I lived with my bitch aunt at the time and was at the fair with her!

She wouldn't let me have my own funnel cake (since I wanted one with strawberries, but she didn't since she hated sweet things), so she got a sugar and cinnamon one she shared with me instead

(she also didn't get me my own at the time cuz I was around 200 pounds at the time due to taking Abilify at the time as well and kept blaming it on me ""eating too much"")

Also I just really love cotton candy as well, hehe!

10. Have you ever eaten a starfruit?

(inserted my own question for this, hee hee!)

I have not!

But it's on my top list of fruits to try in my life before I die, because it's yellow and I just always wanted to eat a fruit shaped like a star!

11. Bass or drums?

DEFINITELY DRUMS!!

I love bass, but drums are in general easier on my hands and I can actually pick up on it pretty quickly than I could bass

I've messed with them with a friend of my dad that also plays drums and plays bass and everyone thought I was pretty damn good (esp at keeping rhythm) even though I felt like I didn't really know what I was doing lol!

12. Favorite tv commercial?

Already has been answered!

13. Can we be friends?

We already are friends, Beetle my pal!! Of course we can be friends!

14. Do you admire the clouds and color of the sky?

I now have a question for you!

Can you feel my heart?

15. What’s the weirdest thing that’s happened to you?

Already been answered!

16. A netflix series that’s your favorite?

It would definitely be Kotaro Lives Alone!! It's so heartbreaking and sad, yet so adorable and fun to watch! The characters are all absolutely wonderful and the plot is handled really well (plus the dub is pretty good too)!

17. An earliest obsession you remember?

Definitely animals and animation!!

They've been a huge part of my life ever since I can remember!

18. Do you play video games?

I do on occasions that Im able to have access to them, I used to play lots of video games when I was a child/teen back when I used to have quite a few consoles like the Wii, Xbox 360 and the original Xbox, the Nintendo 3DS, and the PS2

But now since my brother only has a PS4 with barely any games and gaming is now so expensive, I don't really play as many video games as I would like to!

19. Zombies or vampires?

Already been answered!

20. Have you listened to System of a Down?

(also inserted my own question for this here too)

YES!!! Back when I was 13-14, they were one of the bands I listened to the most, so this band has a big place in my heart!

I absolutely love BYOB, Sugar, Chopped Suey, and Hypnotize especially!

21. Your first celebrity crush?

It's really hard for me to tell if I even have celebrity crushes in the first cuz I mainly just crush on the character/s they're acting as if anything

But the closest to a celebrity crush I have is Ryan Reynolds (esp when he was in Van Wilder, holy cow)

He's both funny and he's hot af, he's still hotter than Chris Pratt will ever be!

22. Do you have a collection of cool rocks?

I do somewhat since I have a Royal Crown bag full of them that someone I knew gave to me, other than that I don't really collect rocks so I don't really have much on that topic!

23. Five words that describe you?

AAAAAAA THIS IS HARD AS HELL WHY????

Anyways, here's my best guesses I can pull outta my ass lol!

Ambivert

Easy Going

Misfit Toy

Compassionate (???)

Honest

24. What have you learned about yourself?

That I am very much DRASTICALLY different from how I was when I was 18/19

I definitely feel like I've matured a lot in a short period of time, which feels pretty odd to me ngl!

25. Can you tie a cherry stem with your tongue?

I don't think I've ever actually tried doing this before, so I would have to try next time I have cherries lol!

26. Do you believe in aliens?

I do in fact believe in both aliens and the multiverse theory due to the entirety of space and the galaxy being WAY too big to have us and Earth be the only life in this, the odds just aren't plausible for us to be the only ones!

27. Books or films?

I LOVE both books and movies, but if I had to pick it would be movies since I consume those a lot more than books these days!

28. An unusual song that’s your favorite?

Shit Like That - Butthole Surfers

This song is one of Butthole Surfers' most bizarre and weird sounding songs that they have in their later catalog of work, but God is it a lotta fun!

29. The last thing you ate?

As of right now, I have been eating crackers with spicy honey mustard and hot honey with chilli as dipping since my dad had set a plate of them!

30. Do you have a favorite animator(s)?

(inserted my own question here as well)

Gosh, since I have WAYY TOO many animators to list off, I'll just give off a quick tip five!

Don Bluth

Milt Kahl

James Baxter

Ralph Bakski

Retta Scott

31. Have you gotten bit by a dog?

I have a couple of times in my lifetime, just never to the point of injury or anything that can be made into a big deal!

Mostly recently was over a year ago when I was visiting a friend of someone I knew and the person's pitbull had nipped me in the thigh due to not knowing me and being high strung

It only caused a small bruise that healed really quickly, so nothing to worry over!

32. Do you write better with a pen or a pencil?

Definitely a pencil since they come with erasers I can erase my spelling errors and mistakes with!

33. A song that gets stuck in your head?

Cardigan - Don Toliver

I just always really loved the overall vibe the song and the singer go for and it's just really catchy!

34. When you hear “ peace ” what do you think of?

The peace symbol/sign that basically translates to "hippie logo" ngl!

35. A school subject your good with?

English/Literature! They were pretty much always the best grades I've ever had in all my time in cool, getting As most the time!

I think I only had one B for one semester in high school in all that time!

36. How many alarms do you have set?

As of right now, none!

I only ever set an alarm if I need to go somewhere early or at a certain time, so not much need for alarms on a daily basis!

37. Do you shop at thrift stores?

Of course I do!!

In fact, a good chuck of my DVD collection and a Takashi Murakami flower hoodie I got for six bucks from Goodwills I've managed to go to with my mom!

38. What’s the meaning behind your url?

It is a portmanteau of two of my most favorite words/aesthetics: Rainbow and Psychedelic!

39. Is there wise words you live by?

There's actually quite a few I go by so it's really hard to pick, but here's one that comes to mind

I got it from the first episode of Human Resources (yes that spinoff show of Big Mouth shoot me), and it actually really does help me personally when I hear it for possible obstacles I may face in the future and it's this:

"You'll never be ready, but you have to fucking try"!

40. What’s your favorite fast food place?

(inserted my own question here too)

There's quite a few places, but nothing will ever top Carl's Jr for me when it comes to their burgers and fries, God they're the best!

Plus I actually miss the commercials they used to have with Jessica Simpson, they weren't afraid to have beautiful looking women eating delicious food and I kinda miss it since it makes me feel like they and yourself don't need to have the self confidence to have a beautiful body and to still eat the things you love!

41. You gotta have a favorite beatles song, what is it?

It would be a definite tie between Elenore Rigby and Norwegian Wood!

They're both beautiful sounding and well written songs that have their own unique vibes that make them both well known respectfully

Such as Elenore Rigby's dark, brooding, and gothic themes and sounds and Norwegian Wood's ethereal, nature themed, and hippie inspired vibes!

42. Earphones or a speaker?

DEFINITELY HEADPHONES BY A LONGSHOT!!

I want to keep what I'm watching/listening to to myself unless I feel like showing something to someone and I hate disturbing other people with whatever sounds are coming out of my phone

That's just rude!

43. What do you remember from your childhood?

I think I remember about,,,,,, 30%-40% of my childhood due to many many key factors and appointments such as autism-driven (is that the word??) childhood amnesia and much more

The most that I can remember are my years in elementary school and middle school (if you discount my teenage years from around 15-17) and it's all pretty scattered and comes to me randomly on random days piece by piece so it can take YEARS for me to properly recall past memories from my childhood!

44. Do you collect anything?

I have answered this question before on this post here!

45. Favorite tea?

I usually really love me my sweet/fruity teas like Constant Comment and berry flavored teas

But a current favorite of mine that I used to replace coffee is Morning Thunder Black Tea

Basically it's if they turned coffee into tea, its really good with sugar and creamer!

46. A christmas song you secretly like?

I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas - Gayla Peevey

I know it's a super old, ridiculous, and silly song that's sung by a literal little girl!

But I think it has a cute charm to it and I have really good memories of it playing over the speakers at a Christmas Party that friends of my Dad's were throwing in the fire station in the super small highway-township when I was around 13 (plus that party had an amazing fondue and chocolate fountain courtesy of my Dad's friends who were throwing the party)!

47. Book stores or record stores?

Book stores since I actually have a book collection and I go to book stores on the occasions I'm able to find them!

Plus I've just been to book stores more so far since I've only ever been to one record store!

48. How weird were these questions?

These have actually been really fun and of substance, so I don't find them weird at all!

The only weird part is I've already answered questions on here before lolol XD

49. What scents do you like?

Mostly sweet smells (like cotton candy, birthday cake, marshmallows), fruity scents (strawberries, apples, berries), savory scents (fried foods like fried chicken, pizza, steak), herbal/ scents (sage, cloves, basil), "pungent" smells (garlic, onions, horseradish), and burning wood that smells like a BBQ going on!

And many, many, many more!

50. Is there a doctor in the house?

(last question inserted by me lol)

Nah, it's just me, Fozz, your favorite misfit toy!

------------------------------------------------------

Thank you soso very very much for sending EVERY. SINGLE. ASK from this ask game Beetle (added a 50th one for ya since that was the actual amount)! It took a lot of time and effort, but I hope it was all worth it!

I hope you have a blast reading through this despite how long it is, have an amazing evening my good good amazing bestest friend!!

#🌈 fozz's posts #🌈 fozz chit chats #answered ask #ask games #🌈 beetle anon // anon tag

[fueledbyapplepi]

I love your writing it's so good!!! Could I have reader having a crush on the boys and giving them a kiss while they think the boys are asleep and confessing their love to them with mikey, chifuyu and the haitani brothers? Im just so soft for those boys!!!

Sleep Tight | Mikey, Chifuyu, Ran, and Rindou

- Confessing to the boys while they're (not really) asleep

genre: 🌸 fluff 🌸

warnings: minor cussing

A/N: Thank you, anon! I really got into writing this one ( ◜‿◝ )♡ Also, I honestly think I need to come up with better titles because it sounds like a word vomit to me LMAO Anyway, I hope you enjoy this!

Mikey (Sano Manjiro)

Life would be nice if you had someone by your side who felt the same way about you.

You already have Mikey by your side, making every day much easier to get by. But does he feel the same way with you?

You practically grew up together with Mikey. Being neighbors with the man, you often come by to play with them as kids- leading to a blooming friendship. Although more often, it was you watching Mikey train in his grandfather’s dojo, where he never fails to amaze you with his tricks. Sometimes, you’ll have sleepovers together with Emma and Mikey where you’ll watch movies with them. Only for Mikey to be sound asleep halfway through the movie.

Growing up, nothing has changed that much with that routine. The only thing that has changed is your growing feelings for Mikey.

You saw the ups and downs in his life. From the time he established Toman to losing Shinichiro, you were there to witness how he would build a castle from the rocks of his downfalls.

So it was no surprise that you find your heart beating much faster when he’s around.

Childish as he is, you can’t deny the fact that Mikey is charismatic, beautiful, and kind. But, you never had the chance to tell him what you feel. Because what if he never saw you the same way?

You looked at Mikey, who’s currently sitting by your side almost half asleep. His head swings from side to side as he struggles on whether he should watch the movie or not.

“Mikey, you always never get to finish our movie nights. You’re no fun.” Emma pouted at his brother as she turned off the television.

“Mhmm, not sleepy.” Mikey turned to look at you then at Emma before leaning on your shoulder. “Just a little.”

Your heart flutters from close contact. “Maybe he’s tired from one of Toman’s meetings.” You turned to look at Emma with a sorry face

Sighing, Emma stepped out of the room as she looked at you, “I’ll get us a blanket, wait here Y/N.”

Your face felt hot as you realized that you were left alone in the room with Mikey. Well, this isn’t unusual for you two but with the strong feelings you have for him, you just can’t help but blush.

You looked at Mikey, his eyelashes seemed a bit longer, making his eyes more beautiful. His lips, although chapped, pouted with the way he’s comfy with you.

“Mikey, can you stop being so pretty? It makes me want to kiss you,” you whispered, thinking that Mikey’s probably dozing off to dreamland.

Mikey opened out one of his eyes to take a peek at you. All the sleepiness vanishing from his body. Did he just hear you right? “Then kiss me, Y/N.”

“Heh? Mikey, you’re awake?” you felt embarrassment creeping into you. “Mikey...I...look, sorry. I-”

Your blabbering mouth was silenced with a peck on the lips. Mikey kissing all your worries away.

“I like you too, Y/N.” He smiled as he leaned closer to you. Your foreheads touching and nose brush against each other.

You felt like you’re on cloud nine. Is this real? Mikey likes you too?

Before you could say anything, the door opened with Emma looking at the two of you weirdly. “Hehhh, am I interrupting something?”

You and Mikey looked at Emma. An embarrassed look on both of your faces as if you were caught red-handed.

Now, there’s a lot of explaining to do.

Chifuyu Matsuno

No matter how many times you try, you always seem to lose.

But who won’t?

With Chifuyu’s angelic smile and kind eyes, your determination to admit your feelings for him always seems to waver. It’s just that your thoughts always fly out the window and anxiousness gets the best of you.

You’ve known Chifuyu for quite some time now. Baji, who’s your cousin, introduced him to you as Toman’s 1st Division Vice-Captain and most trusted partner. Of course, it was only natural for you to be wary of him. Baji might trust him, but he could be some sort of drug dealer or serial killer. Who knows?

You’re wrong though. The more time you spend with Chifuyu, the more you appreciate his presence. How can you not? He always lends you a helping hand whenever you need it. As cliche as it sounds, Chifuyu is like the knight and shining armor in your life.

And now here he is. Once again saving you from another horrible situation.

Chifuyu offered you a ride when he found you drenched from the rain in Shinagawa. Apparently, the weather wouldn’t be pleasant today but you forgot to read the weather forecast. Currently, he brought you to his home for the meantime as the rain wouldn’t be stopping until tomorrow.

“I’ll just text and let Baji-san know that you’ll be staying here.” Chifuyu handed you a blanket as he laid on his futon.

“Thank you, Chifuyu. But I swear it’s okay for me to sleep there. This is your bed anyway.” You said embarrassed.

Chifuyu yawned. Tiredness dropping from his eyes. “It’s alright, Y/N. I can’t let Baji-san’s pretty cousin sleep on the floor.” He smiled at you with a faint blush on his cheeks.

You laid on the bed silently. Blushing from his compliment. Did he just call you beautiful?

You looked at the ceiling for about a good minute before turning to Chifuyu. “Chifuyu-san, I-”

A soft sleeping figure cut you off. The light from the lamp outside reflected on his beautiful features.

You padded off your feet on the floor and sat right next to Chifuyu. Observing him, you notice that he looks prettier when he’s peaceful like this.

You hesitatingly brushed your fingers on his hair. While massaging it, you can’t help but feel overwhelmed by your emotions. “I like you, Chifuyu-san.” You smiled proudly at yourself as you finally got to admit your feelings even though he’s asleep.

However, you noticed that the sleeping figure in front of you stiffened and reddened from your statement. Eyes wide, you held a hand in your mouth.

“Chifuyu-san, are you awake?” You hoped that he wasn’t.

But apparently, he is. “I guess you caught me.” Chifuyu sat up and scratched his head as he smiled at you sheepishly. “That felt nice though.”

“I’m sorry!” You bowed your head, hair hiding your flustered state.

“I like it!” Chifuyu panicked. “I mean, no. I like it. But, I like you too, Y/N-san.”

You laughed. At the same time, feeling extremely happy from what you just had heard.

“I guess we have some explaining to do with Baji-san.” you teased him

“Mhmm. But,” he held your hand and put it into his hair. “Would you continue that?” Chifuyu smiled.

“Of course.” You smiled at him, continuing your hair massages.

Looks like you won this time.

Ran Haitani

You’re no medical expert. The only knowledge you got was based on textbooks and first aid knowledge.

Yet somehow, Ran would always come knocking on your door whenever he has cuts or injuries. Sometimes, even without one, he would come by at your place and complain that his body is painful.

And it’s one of those nights again as you hear a soft knock on the door.

Moving to Roppongi, you were warned about the Haitani brothers. How you must stay away from them because they’re just no good. However, you somehow managed to come across the elder Haitani while you were shopping at a local store when he asked you what hair dye he should use.

This little interaction moved from one way to the other and now, ever since Ran found out where you live, he always comes by to let you heal his “injuries”.

You’re not complaining though. Despite the rumors and warnings, Ran was much more different from what other people say. He may be cocky and teasing, but the beautiful man sure is nice when it comes to you.

Causing you to develop a little crush on him.

You opened the door as you welcomed Ran. “Now, what do we have for tonight?”

Ran stepped in as he walked towards the couch. Laying as if he lives around here. “I got a bump on my forehead.” He pointed out as he pouted at you.

“You have Rindou! And you call yourself notorious but you come here whining like a baby.” you rolled your eyes as you got in the kitchen getting an ice pack for the man.

“Here.” You handed out the ice pack as you stood up in front of him.

“No.” Ran rolled his eyes. “Kiss it, Y/N.” he pouted once again.

“You’re not a baby, Ran. Tch.” you sighed as you sat across him. “Take a nap here and I’ll cook for you when you wake up.”

“Now, wifey material aren’t we.” Ran teased as he closed his eyes. Holding the ice packet against his forehead.

About a good 10 minutes have passed and you never heard another bicker from Ran. As you look at him, the man seems to be sleeping like a log.

You crouched down near him. Observing his features. You must say, he’s quite beautiful and more attractive when less chaotic.

“You’re such a big baby.” Thinking that he’s asleep, you kissed the small bump on his forehead.

As you got up to prepare his late dinner, a hand clutched yours.

You felt your body freeze for a moment as you turned around and saw a bastard smiling cockily.

“Do it again, Y/N.” Ran grinned at you as he held on tighter on your hand. “I’m a big baby but your baby.”

“Let me go!.” your face was beat red as you tried to yank off your hands. Only failing as Ran grabbed your arms causing you to fall on top of him.

“I like you, Y/N” Ran hugged you tightly while you were a blushing mess on top of him. “So let's just stay like this for a while.”

And you did.

Being with Ran isn’t so bad after all.

Rindou Haitani

If there’s one thing you’re proud of, it’s the skill you have for coloring people’s hair.

You like dyeing your hair, your friend’s hair, your cousins, and to just anyone who asks for your help. So it was no surprise when Rindou asked you to help him in doing his highlights.

Of course you can’t say no. Not because he is a Haitani but because you actually like his presence. When you’re around him, everything seems more calm and peaceful.

Despite being a menace around Roppongi, you and Rindou are actually good friends. You’ve known each other when he saved your ass around a group of guys who tried to harass you. And although he was stoic to you at first, he was able to ease up to you because of your caring nature.

After all, you recognized him as Rindou Haitani and not “Ran’s younger brother”. And he appreciated you for it.

So now here you are in their living room. Currently finished in dyeing Rindou’s hair.

“And there you have it. We just have to wait for an hour or so before washing it.” You tidied all the mess up as Ran sat and observed you. “By the way, why won’t you let me dye Ran’s hair?”

He raised an eyebrow upon your question. “Because he can’t have you.” Your eyes widened from his statement. Rindou, realizing what he just said, covered it up with an excuse. “I mean, I want him to dye his own hair and let it look shit. If he wants someone to dye his hair properly, he can go to the salon.”

You laughed at his statement. Well, he can actually crack up jokes once in a while if he loosens up his strict facade. “Oh Rindou, we also need to buy an extra conditioner.”

You looked up and saw the man with closed eyes. Deciding that you don’t want to disturb his sleep, you sat quietly beside him and observed him.

Rindou is already handsome with his glasses. But you realized that he looks much cuter without one.

He just looks good in anything.

You traced the bridge of his nose as you admired his features. “You know what? I actually might have feelings for you.” you muttered softly as you smiled.

“Let’s go out on a date then.” Rindou opened his eyes as he looked at you. Your lips a few inches away from his.

“Rindou!!!” You sat up straight. “I thought you were-”

“Asleep? Well I’m not.” he smiled at you as reached out for your hand. “But I meant it Y/N. I like you, and I want us to go on a date.” Rindou looked at you, hoping for an immediate response.

He does like you. After all, you were the only person who he was able to open up to other than Ran.

“Okay.” You smiled as you brushed your thumb at the top of his hand.

Rindou caressed your cheeks. Leaning in and going for a kiss.

“Ohh. Can I join?” a teasing voice butted in. Causing you two to look at the tall man who’s leaning in the doorframe. “I mean can I join Y/N’s dye party? Just continue that later.”

“Ran, get out!” Rindou shouted as he pointed at the door to his brother.

Well, things quickly escalated with the brothers.

As well as your relationship with Rindou.

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers x y/n #tokyo revengers x you #tokyo revengers imagines #tokyo revengers headcanons #sano manjiro #mikey x reader #mikey x y/n #mikey x you #mikey imagines #mikey headcanons #chifuyu matsuno #chifuyu x reader #chifuyu x y/n #chifuyu x you #chifuyu imagines #chifuyu headcanons #haitani brothers #haitani ran #ran x reader #ran x y/n #ran x you #ran imagines #rindou haitani #rindou x reader #rindou x y/n #rindou x you #rindou imagines

[xgryffinwhore]

september nights

request:  i was wondering if you could write another soft bill smut? i don’t really have a specific plot in mind, we’re just really lacking content on tumblr rn :( in some really precarious place where they don’t want to get caught

warnings: soft smut, like i mean very soft.

word count: 2118

before your lips met bill denbrough’s, love was always, to say the least, a conundrum. lets be real for second, boys wasted your time, and you let them. only the cute ones of course. you are a hopeless romantic, drunk off of molly ringwald and john travolta films. you wanted any relationship you had to be just like the movies.

through your heart breaks, your best friends stood by you, your losers. eddie, richie, bev, stan, ben, and bill. for each tear you shed a punch was thrown to the man who caused it, they were protective over you. bill the most though, he always got so defensive when you were in the mix. all throughout middle & high school, bill has had to deal with every guy who even dares to think about breaking your heart.

“its not fair bill” you wailed into your pillow. he stroked your back and hushed you, his eyes welling with tears. “im never fucking good enough for any guy and its so fucking sad!” your complaints being cut off mid sentence by a choked out cry. “y-y/n. all of y-your boyfriend are i-idiots. anyone w-who would d-d-do this to you isnt w-worth your t-time. anyone w-would be the luckiest in the w-world to have y-you in their life” you picked your head up and looked at him with swollen lips and blood shot eyes “there no one out there for me bill, no one.” 

he bit his lip, fighting back any tears dripping from his eyes “they j-just dont see how p-pretty you are. how g-gentle and caring and s-s-sweet, and h-how your face c-can light up any room. theyre f-fucking idiots, and you d-deserve m-more.” you clearly thought he was being nice, because you could take a MOTHER FUCKING GOD DAMN hint, so you replied “i wish there was someone out there like you, for me, that thinks of me the way you do.” 

he furrowed his brows, tossing his head back and running his fingers furiously through his hair. “d-dammit y/n!” he cursed “cant you s-see what ive b-been trying to say? w-w-what ive been t-trying to say f-for the last f-five years!?!” your expression was bewildered, your brain was going a mile a minute trying to figure out what he meant. his frustration got the best of him, he got up and stormed out the door,  feeling embarrassed and stupid for trying to make you understand how he felt.

he was half way out your front door, fuming for his keys lodged deep into his front pocket; when suddenly:

“bill!”

his head turned at the call of his name, “y-y/n please i d-”

smack.

your lips locked with his, he rain pouring heavily outside. bills lips stilled at the contact, but this lasted briefly, he deepened this kiss by pulling you in to his abdomen by your mid back. your bunched the front of his base ball t shirt with your fists, and he did the same but with your hair.

the rest is basically history.

now six months later, and you couldnt have been happier. bill knew how to treat you, nights out twice a week (you always wanted to pay but bill insisted,) holding your hand to and from classes, he let you borrow have his varsity baseball jacket, which smelt just like him and was a little too big for you. 

when he would drop you off and your classes, he would always grab your hand and transfer a tiny piece of paper into your palm. when you got into class to unfold it, it was always a cute little message about his love for you. 

bill had it bad for you, everyone knew that, and you loved every minute of it. he met every and any standard you had, and exceeded your expectations. 

it was september, still warm enough in derry to wear shorts, so you and your friends thought of a last hurrah for the ending of the summery weather.

“camp out, its nearly perfect” Richie exclaimed. eddie rolled his eyes “like youve ever been near anything perfect toizer, do you even know what perfect means?” richie shoved eddie “yeah eddie i actually have. have you seen amanda’s tits?”

 you tuned out richie and eddies bickering as you’re boyfriend cleared his throat. “you g-gonna go?” he said into your ear, “only if you promise to wear bug spray bill, you know how bad-” he cut you off with a kiss, his mouth forming a small smile at how cute you were. “get a room, honestly” stan poked, pda wasn’t his favorite... “at least i h-have something to k-kiss aye s-stannie”

you arrived at the edge of the forest, parking your car at the last parking ish space. you walked toward the sounds of ben and richie fighting, and came to see that richie really went all out. three tents, sticks for a fire, and more snacks than anyone needed. 

you all spent the remanence of the daylight dancing in the light sky, sharing stories, and eating waaaay too many chips. it was dark now, you all huddled in a circle near the fire; making small talk and trying not to admit you were all very tired.

“ok folks, im off to bed” richie yawned “me stan eddie n’ mike will take the green tent, bev and ben in the red.” richie paused and smirked over at you and bill, you were tangled in his limbs, golfed in his navy blue pull over. “and uh- heh- billy boy and y/n in the yellow tent eh?” you could practically feel bills eye roll, god richie was so immature.

“w-we dont have to s-sleep in the s-s-same tent, i c-can ask ben if he’d s-switch” you look up at bill and reassure him “bill no- its not a big deal, right?” he tucks your hair behind your ear and kisses the side of your temple “c-course not.”

you both went into the tent, bill began to unroll the blankets you both had packed tightly into your bags. You both set up your makeshift bed, bill leaned against a pile of pillows while you hugged his side, your face buried in his neck. his smell was absolutely intoxicating; his skin had remanence of his milk and honey body wash, but it was slightly overpowered by wintergreen, clove, and his bourbon cologne. 

you were like this for around an hour, the orange crank-powered lantern being the only source of light. you switch positions though, you now laid your head on his lap, reading a magazine you stole from the hair salon. he watched your eyes scan every letter, when you read something funny you’d huff to yourself, and when something was intresting you stuck your tongue out from between your teeth. he adored you.

“d-dont stay up t-too late” he stroked your hair off your shoulder “we have t-to have you w-well r-r-rested.” you sat up from beside him, as he adjusted the pillows and took off his pull over, then his pants. he got under the covers and waited for you.

“nice donut boxers” you laughed. “s-shut up” he blushed and regreted not changing them when he had the chance. you turned around took off your shirt, you were shy about how you looked, but it was just bill. it was just bill. you heard his breath hitch, his eagerness radiating off his body onto yours. the air became tense as you unzipped your pants and threw them to the corner. you turned around, bills pupils growing until you were completely facing him.

“yeah i know. mine are boring” you laugh nervously, brushing your hair behind your ear and getting under the covers next to him. he didnt respond, he couldnt take his eyes off of you.you began to sit up again “i can go put back on-” “n-no!” he interrupts, his blush taking up his entire face.

“i j-j-just cant b-believe i g-get to see something s-so special” he gulped “s-so b-b-b-beautiful.”

you grabbed him by his shoulders and kissed him, hard. youve been with boys before, i mean youve dated plenty of people. but no one ever called your body special. hot, yeah. nice, yeah. beautiful, sure. but no one ever thought that it was special. 

bill was a kind boy, the most you two have ever done is get each other off with your hands, always clothed. bill never asked to see more, he felt lucky enough just to make you feel good, and that was enough for him. so when you felt the heat of his hands hovering over your body but not touching it, you new you’d have to call the shots tonight.

“bill,” you laid down “just touch me everywhere, please.” he crawled in between your legs, kneeling so that he could lean over your face “m-my pleasure.”

he traced your collar, leaving small, delicate, kisses to make up for what his fingers left behind as they trailed. he kissed the valley between your breasts, licking slow striped down your skin. he picked up your upper back a little and cocked his head to the side, you nodded and he unclipped your bra. he sat their with his mouth open, taking in the view. you blushed and muttered “hey, keep that mouth to good use.” he dipped down and sucked on your nipples, his mouth felt so good against your skin grazed with goosebumps. he was gingerly with his tongue, it was sexy, it was romantic. he kissed down your stomach, his fingers sweeping down your sides. you could see his member pressing against his boxers, the pressure made him wince every once in a while. his fingers met your panties and he hooked them. again, he looked up for permission, you nodded once again. 

he brought your underwear down your legs and off, looking back to see what he had relieved. he licked his lips, getting ready to please you more than he already did. but you felt bad, bill always gave gave and gave. “its ok, im ready right now.” bill looked up at you in shock, he wasnt expecting you’d want to go all the way. “y/n, y-youre sure?” you lean up and kiss his lips, swiping your tongue against his bottom lip “please.”

he pulled down his boxers eagerly, his member sprung out to hit his stomach. he lined up with you, checking once more that it was ok. then he pushed in, bottoming out. he felt bigger than you thought, of course he was well endowed, but he filled you up so well. you mewled, the pain and pleasure making a delicious feeling that made your toes curl.

he waited, but began slowly moving after a bit. he grunted, feeling you wrapped around him was something he’d never be able to get out of his head he thought to himself. he grunted “f-fuck this feels g-good’ he grunted, his breath becoming heavy and full of lust. with every stroke, you felt yourself get more and more lost in the bliss he made you feel. “youre making me feel so good  bill” you moan, the sound of his name coming out of your mouth driving him absolutely crazy. he speeds up, loving the view of your face contorting in pleasure and your body moving with his. 

he couldnt help but feel admiration to you, your hair formed a halo around your head, and the sweat that coated your skin made you glisten in the orange light. “im t-the luckiest in the world” he husks, holding your cheek. 

you felt the knot in your core coming undone, “bill im close” you strain, trying not to be too loud so you dont wake your friends. he moved your leg up to his shoulder, hitting you from a different, deeper angle. his fingers went to your clit, making you bite your had to stop you from screaming. “you l-look so p-pretty y/n, t-taking me s-so well. making y-you feel so good.” “so good bill” you repeat, drunken off his cock and fingers. 

without warning, you came came, your legs spazzing as you moaned “fuck bill” he followed, his hips stuttering, as he cried out into your shoulder. he pulled out and laid next to you, both of you breathing heavily and coming off your highs. 

“y/n” he looked at you “t-that was really j-just wow- thank y-you.” you kissed him, chaste and sweet “that was great yeah?” “it w-was perfect babe. t-thank you f-for t-that. i love you y-y/n.”

“i love you too bill.”

he sat up, his fingers dancing on your inner thigh.

“y/n?”

“yeah?”

“c-can we p-please do t-that again?”

#bill denbrough #bill denbrough x reader #bill denbrough smut #bill denbrough x you #bill denbrough fanfic #IT movie #it fanfiction #it bill #jaeden martell #jaeden lieberher #jaeden wesley #jaeden x reader #jaeden martell x reader #jaeden martell smut #richie tozier #eddiekaspbrak #stanley uris

[wizkiddx]

hiii!!! omg please please pleasee do a part two of 3 hearts broken cus it fucking slaps miss girl

part 2 to 3 broken hearts!!! ive been so 🥺 at all the lovely comments+interest pt 1 had so thanku all !

summary: serious serious angst again will tom somehow get it back (unlike looking cos boy is a fool)

warnings: again lots of swearing (im British sorry not sorry) / wayyyy too much tea / slating Dom abit (obvs fictional but idk if I like the guy sorry his opinions are :/) / commitment issues

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

read part 1 here!!!!

That was three days ago now. Three days since you'd spoken to your boyfrien- well, Tom. It wasn't evident what the situation was.

The typical British weather brought with it the most ironic pathetic fallacy you could ever see. The clouds were dark and glooming, firing angry pellets of rain out as hard as they could. When you had pulled up on the roadside, it had just been a light drizzle but synchronised with your anxiety levels rising - so did the rain. When you finally opened up the car door, you threw your hoodie open with a sigh before running up the pathway to the front door.

It was the same burgundy red that you knew so well, but this time instead of just letting yourself in - you stood in the rain used the brass knocker thing twice. To be honest, you were hoping that no one was home - but in that house, it was pretty unlikely. After 30 seconds of getting drenched in the downpour, you were about to let yourself in with the spare key before the door swung open.

"Oh! Er Y/n?"

"Yeh um hi." You had to shout a bit over the sound of what must now be classified as a storm.

"Toms not-"

"I know. Can I come in?" As awkward and stunted as this conversation was, if you didn't get out of the rain asap you would literally end up drowned.

“Oh er yeh-yeh yeh come in.”

Harry stammered as he held the door open, gesturing for you to enter into the tiled hallway. Gratefully, you followed, throwing your sopping wet hood back down and wiping your feet on the floor.

"Sorry for just showing up, but I left some scripts here. My management are on my arse to read them and-"

"And you waited till Tom left for mum and dads?" The fluffy-haired boy has caught you red-handed; there was no defence, so you didn't even try.

Because yes, you knew on a Friday afternoon when Tom was home he would always, like clockwork, go to his parents just to kick back and watch gogglebox with both of them. It was only natural then that you chose Friday afternoon to come and pick up your stuff.

"I've been waiting in my car for half an hour till I saw him leave." Harry half laughed at that, still the two of you standing opposite each other in the hallway. "Um, do you… do you hate me Harry?"

Clearly, he hadn't quite been expecting your question going by the way his eyes almost bugged out his head.

"No, I-I, of course, I don't… look, I'm home alone so you fancy a cuppa?" Not being able to help the small chuckle, you nodded appreciatively, following Harry through the house.

"Your answer to everything is tea."

Harry had prepared the two mugs in silence as you sat at the table waiting patiently - if nervously too. You didn't miss how Harry had still used your favourite mug, having had to dig through the cupboard to find the weird square-shaped thing. Once done, he rounded the kitchen island and placed it in front of you, which you instantly cradled in two hands - for the hope of warming you up.

"You cold?" Obviously, it was pretty evident that sitting in your rain-soaked hoodie was not cosy at all. "Hang on a sec."

The boy sprung up again, returning moments later with a hoodie in hand, one he offered out to you with a little smile. The issue was that him and Tom shared clothes, so the hoodie he was kindly offering to you also had been worn by Tom before. Which made it hurt a little bit to wear. It was better than sitting soaked through though.

"How have you been then?"

"Not the best, to be honest, but uh… how about you?"

"Being with Tom while he's fighting with you? Oh, it's a barrel of laughs. You might've escaped it, but I haven't." He was trying to lighten the mood, and you appreciated it, offering him a half-smile that didn't really meet your eyes.

"Yeh sorry about that."

"Don't apologise; it doesn't sound like it's your fault Y/n."

That surprised you. Tom, especially when he was in moods like he was when you argued, wasn't one to admit when he was wrong. It was usually how the world was against him and how he was so hard done by. Accepting responsibility was something he hadn't said to you yet - but at least, small steps.

"He say that?"

"Pretty much… doesn't seem like he's angry at you, but-but he's still angry."

"At the world?" You rolled your eyes; this seemed to be the same old Tom through and through. Still immature. Still not with the right mindset.

"At himself." Harry countered, slightly entertained, when he saw the flash of surprise in your face as he sipped his drink. "And me… if I dare to so much as breathe this week."

This time you properly laughed, and Harry joined in too before the room fell back to silence - except the noise of the rain hitting the garden patio slats. You swirled the tea round in your mug, feeling the brunette's eyes on you. He'd always been your fake little brother too, since you'd met the Hollands way back 3 and a half years ago. Tom and yourself were barely adults, which meant the twins were still proper children. Harry had always been the one that understood you. Hollands, by nature, loved humans - loved to talk, to chat, to gossip. But sometimes, doing all that socialising got too much for you, as it did for Harry. He was the only one that seemed to understand social exhaustion. So when those moments had hit, you'd kept each other company in silence.

He got you, sometimes in ways your own boyfriend didn't.

"You know why he got so worked up, right?" You shook your head, looking up curiously. "Dad got under his skin on his birthday zoom thing."

Ah, now that did seem to coincide with the start of Tom's more petulant phase. To be fair, Tom had been asking to move in together for near enough a year now - but it was only in the past month it seemed to be the only thing you'd talk about and obviously only three days since the flight back. Dom's birthday barely a week ago, whilst you and Tom were both filming - except Tom had managed to get a day off where you hadn't. So you hadn't heard this conversation.

"What'd he say?"

"Was talking about how he and mum were settling down at Toms age, joked about how you rejected him, said maybe you were holding out for something better."

"Something better?" Harry sighed, leaning forward onto his elbows.

"He'd seen an article just off a trashy tabloid… it named you Hollywood's golden girl or something, said you could have the pick of any person on the planet…"

Of all the people in the world, why is Tom affected by shit journalism? He knows how much bullshit people write. He knows how it's all made up, exaggerated nonsense. And what he should know, completely and totally, is how much you love him. And if he didn't, was that your fault? Had you done something wrong, something to make him doubt you?

Harry seemed to notice the internal dialogue going on in your head, adding to the point. "It wasn't the article though, it was the fact dad said it."

Hmmm.

You and Dom got on; it wasn't like you hated the possible future father in law or whatever. Just…. you had very different outlooks. As much as Tom prided himself on how' grounded his family keeps him' -to you at least, they aren't entirely at sea level either. They'd never really had any particular struggles in life. They were the definition of middle class, and that's about it. They lived in a posh suburb of London, had all their family still around. It was the perfect family.

And whilst you were in no illusions about how privileged your life was now. It hadn't always been. You'd never had the 'nuclear' family. Instead, only your dad and a string of dodgy and fleeting stepmothers while struggling to make ends meet. So you were just always wary of Dom, of his opinions that so often his boys took for gospel. They always seemed pretty sheltered and close-minded.

And yet, Tom was a grown man.

"I get that, I just… Tom should know that we know more about our relationship than his dad. I mean,… have I done something wrong? Made him think I'm not in this for the long haul?"

"No nonono Y/n he's just… well he's an idiot, isn't he? I don't think he properly understands why you're cautious about moving and everything. He's just an idio- "

Harry was cut off for lightly insulting his brother by the sound of the front door opening, both of your heads swivelling towards the source. You then met Harry's eyes in a panic, to which he replied relatively simply.

"Just talk to each other. For my sake." You would've argued if it weren't for the fact you were so focused on Tom's shuffling around in the entrance hallway - back early from his parents.

"Baz? Where you at? I thought I saw Y/n's car and-"

"Kitchen!!!" Before Tom could say anything else, possibly landing himself in more trouble, Harry interrupted as his chair screeched while standing up. And then Tom was just there. Standing in the doorway, his arms dropping limply to his side as he noticed you. Everything about that moment seemed to freeze, when you locked eyes with him for the first time in three days. It didn't go unnoticed, the way his Adams apple bobbed, the way his eyes widen. The boy looked plain and simply terrified.

It was Harry who broke the silence, after giving you a stern look that said 'stay'. The younger Holland boy walked up to Tom and spoke.

"Try actually talking and actually listening about your problems with each other." And then he was gone, down the hallway and up the stairs.

For a few moments, Tom stayed absolutely stationary, now staring at where Harry had been when speaking to the both of you (but mainly Tom). Long enough to put your sense of unease at an all-time high, ready to make a break for it.

"If you don't want to talk, then I can leav-"

"NO!" Apparently snapping out of it, Tom exclaimed loud enough to make you flinch from your seat. "Sorry! I-I just… I wasn't expecting to… you know, to see you."

"Yeh I just uh- just came to pick up some scripts… Harry cornered me with a tea, though; otherwise, I'd be…."

"Baz thinks the whole world could be fixed with tea."

"that's what I said!" You instinctively responded, forgetting the fact you're supposed to be mad at him, and just for a second falling back into your normal flow.

Tom didn't even try to hide his grin in response, until you quickly corrected your face- then he did too. Turning around to put the kettle on for himself. Because right now, he needed to fix his whole world, and he needed all the help he could get. For a period, the only noise was the sound of the kettle boiling, then the teaspoon clinking against the mug as he stirred - until he padded over, taking the seat across from you.

"So."

"So."

"It's been a while," Tom stated the bloody obvious.

"You never called."

"Didn't think you'd want me to."

You thought that the early signs weren't all that auspicious. His ability to read a situation once again failing.

"I wanted you to say something."

"Say what?"

"What do you think Tom?" He replied to the sarcastic tone by sucking in a sharp breath, holding it for a second, before slowly exhaling. As if trying to compose himself, take time to think of a response - a mature move for him.

"Well, I think you want me to say sorry? For being so moody and not waiting for you and for upsetting those kids. And thanks too, for covering for me?"

You just hummed. Waiting for him to continue. Because yes, you did deserve all those things. But you also deserved more. An apology for, oh I don't know, saying he didn't think you loved him? It was a wait that never ended, he had nothing more to add.

"Going by your face, I take it I missed something?"

The bloody cheek of it.

"Theres nothing else? Nothing else at all? …" You gave him that chance, the opportunity but all he could respond with was a shake of his head. "You thought I was fine about you saying that I don't love you?" You hadn't intended on raising your voice, but really you hadn't realised you did till after the fact. To blinded by rage at his ignorance.

"You want to talk about this now?"

"When else Tom?" You sighed, realising he perhaps wasn't ready for this conversation. Maybe he needed more time to think things through, have sense talked into him by various wiser family members. Or maybe, he never would be. That was the worst-case scenario. But also… you're most likely prediction.

He shuffled in his seat, clearing his voice but not saying anything. Not a peep.

"I have spent three years of my life with you. I've had countless nights of too little sleep because that was the only time you could facetime. I've exposed my relationship to the world and people's opinions because you didn't want to hide. All I've done is love you. How could you even say that?" There might've been tears in your eyes, yet you were determined to keep them at bay. You needed to have this out, one way or another, to be clear and cohesive and logical. No time to cry.

"Y/n I know that, I…" He sighed, instinctively reaching for your hand, but you were quicker to pull it away. There was hurt in his eyes, but so there should be. "It just sometimes feels like that's it for you. That yeh you love me but you just want to standstill. That this is as much as it'll ever be."

Your emotions were suddenly uncontainable. Your voice croaked as you whispered, "Have I done something wrong?"

"No love, nonono if that's how you feel then that's okay. But it's something I'm not… shit this is hard." He took a pause to take a sip of his drink, your glazed eyes never leaving his. "I don't think I can stand still anymore. And yeh I was pissy and childish the other day because my dad got under my skin about the whole moving in thing… But these past few days, it just has got me thinking. Because I love you, so much."

This time when he reached out to grab your hand, you actually leaned into it yourself. Not because you were giving in, but because this hurt. This hurt so fucking much that you needed something to ground you, or else god knows. Because the way he was speaking, it sounded so finite.

"I love you too."

"I do know, which is…is why this is so hard." At the very least, Tom had conceded that.

The conversation ceased to silence yet again. The room felt so cold; even Tom/Harry's hoodie was doing nothing to keep you from the endless empty cold that seemed to be coming from within.

"When I re-registered my health card last month, and I made you my emergency contact on it. I-I made you my next of kin on everything actually. I didn't think about it twice. And-and this-"You pulled your phone out of your back pocket, immediately pulling up the app onto the open page. "This is my Pinterest board for our baby's nursery theme. I know-" You paused, to quickly wipe your cheeks clear of the tear tracks that may or may not have been there. "I know it's probably a long way away, but I just love the Scandinavian theme." You laughed at yourself, suddenly embarrassed at your blabbering and quickly pulled up a different app. "And this… this was from the other week when I was helping Y/bf/n start her vows." Hands trembling as you turned the phone around for Tom to see again. "She was finding it really tricky so she said, what would you say to Tom on your wedding, so-so I made this list." You only dared to look at him when you were sure he'd be reading through that note.

It was bizarre because he looked… well, he looked happy. Here you were feeling traumatised, showing things that you'd barely even deeped how committed they were - and he was pleased? Feeling the fire burn once again inside of your chest, you quickly swiped the phone away and back into your pocket. Only then did he look up, eyes widening - presumably at quite how psychotic you looked.

"So don't you dare say that I don't want a future with you."

You said it with such force, there was a pause. Tom letting those words sink deep into his brain. The way his expression flickered minutely gave you hope. You thought he got it. You thought he really understood now.

"But why don't you want to move in then?"

There it was again. He knew why. But he didn't get it. And, probably, he never would.

You were about to crash completely. So you ran. As fast as your legs could carry you, not even aware of your chair crashing to the floor in your wake. You ran out of that house and away from him. Away from who you had thought was the love of your life.

?give tom a final chance w one last part?

feedback is always v v appreciated <3

tom taglist : @lovehollandy12 @hollandlover19 @thefernandasantana @hunnybunimdun @hallecarey1@cedricdiggorysimpp @msmimimerton @hollandfanficlove @pandaxnienke @crossyourpeter @thegirlwiththeimpala @tom-softie @sunwardsss @spiitfiiires @radcloudenthusiast @ladykxxx08

people i think might be interestd in this (sorry if not just let me know and i'll remove the tag!!!): @obiwanownsmyass @wildxwidow @parkersvogue @coffeewithoutcaffeine @tomhollandlol @thefallenbibliophilequote @clumsymandu @hiraethenthusiast @mannien @abrielleholland @evermorehabit @niallberry @greatpizzascissorstaco @runawayolives @annathesillyfriend @letsgotothemoonlight @lovelybarnes

#tom x reader #tom holland fic #tomholland #tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland fluff #tom holland angst #famous!reader #tom holland x famous!reader #tom holland x actress!reader #harry holland