#in a completely nonsensical order

[sharkneto]

I’m now internally chanting “ROB AND SARAH HOLIDAYS!” Obviously no pressure to write things you don’t want to write. But just know that I would be here to devour anything you do write on it lol

ah, how much you guys like my blorbos never fails to warm my heart and make me so soft. my running joke with @non-plutonian-druid is that any idea i say i'm Not Writing eventually does get written. So, I'm not writing the holiday fic, but i'm not not writing it either lol, If the amount of brainstorming that has gone into it to build Rob's stupidly large family is any indication.

the thing is, if i do write this fic (which... is not going to be short. I know myself. this would end up at like 30k), where do i post it. where does it go. it's practically original fiction at this point. i feel weird posting it in umbrella academy fanfic. five is barely there. it's just my homemade blorbos. plus eleven more homemade blorbos and their intricate relationships that really all come together to make sarah miserable

#she tolerates because she loves her husband and they don't actually see his family that often outside of the holidays #let me ramble in these tags now #in a completely nonsensical order #rob is the youngest of three by a significant amount (decade younger than his oldest brother and 7 years younger than his sister) #his siblings both have kids and the oldest of those kids are just starting to get old enough to have kids of their own #sarah and rob's mom do /not/ get along and that's not sarah's fault #rob's doctor handwriting has never been relevant in hit or jt but is a running joke in this #sarah is the only person who can read it. this sometimes does include rob #the most cursed thing is that rob is bobby to his family and sarah Hates That. so much that she can't even joke about it #five either comes in because he hangs out with sarah in a grocery store parking lot while she's taking a break from all the walters #or he ends up getting sucked into being at the house when they're all also there #one of these is significantly more fun but my god does it add even more dynamics to figure out #anyway. tidbits. #the major sticking point in me actually writing this rather than just having Way Too Much Fun thinking about it #is that it does require a lot of intricate familial relationships that i do not have experience with #so i gotta go off vibes. bits i glean from watching friends interact with their families. and tv #ficblogging #a blorbo christmas #i should have a rob tag #sarah #yeah i've thought about this just A Little Bit

[maxgicalgirl]

Archive 81 tv show made Melody Pendras straight we cannot trust podcasts in the hands of mainstream media !!!!!!!

#archive 81 #I have mixed feelings about it and as soon as they introduced Gal Pal Annabelle to replace Actual Girlfriend Alexa it should have been a #red flag #conceptually I really liked what they did to flesh out the first season #but they took it in a completely different direction by the end and at that point it’s not even the same thing anymore 🙄 #like you can’t even pick up anything from the original’s season 2 because they reconstructed the narrative so much #idk man its not like they’re going to make any more of it anyways but I still felt the need to come on here and bitch #honestly main stream adaptations of podcasts scare me like I revel in exposure for things I like but ultimately so much gets lost in #translation #like archive 81 podcast is weird and nonsensical at times and Tape Recorder Man’s adventures in the Upside Down just don’t translate to a #general audience ? so they gotta bring in reasons for it to make sense like satanism and witches and demons #when that was sooooooo not the point of the original #like seeing how much they had to adjust to appeal to an outside audience makes me almost glad the wtnv tv show didn’t get green lit #can you imagine ???? how the fuck would they get five headed dragon Hiram McDaniel on my actual television ???? #standing next to a Cecil Palmer with a canon appearance no less #like adaptations are cool and they CAN work sometimes but if you’re going to have to break and bend the world in order to make it to the #point where it’s a new thing entirely #ESPECIALLY since we live in a world where audio drama is not respected as a creative medium #at that point I’m just like leave it alone it’s fine on it’s own #anyways archive 81 is an interesting experiment into what live action podcast adaptations COULD look like but you can pry lesbian Melody #Pendras from my cold dead hands and that makes the adaptation automatically inferior imo #I guess she could be bi but when you remove Canon Girlfriend and instead make her kiss a man ? not likely #I am just talking to hear myself talk now goodbye #max rambles in the tags

[ruinakete]

♡ ・ kindred beasts, shared breaths ━━━ boel drabble, featuring zephia & eremiya

TRADITION WAS MERELY A SPECTACLE AMID THE STUDY OF HUMAN NATURE; in which, in all aspects this mage dragon knew itself to be familiar, came the assumed predictability of the bishop's reaction once all was prepared and she had been herded into the tent's corner without struggle, like the very sheep she pretended to wear the flayed skin of. thus, predictability bled into a loose stream of evasiveness and retaliation,

bishop returned its gaze with not a hint of emotion. dragon bared its fangs in the kindest of smiles. bishop stepped right. dragon followed suit. bishop stepped back. dragon closed the distance.

"sister eremiya," it drawled in a low hum, reaching for her when the next retreating step bumped her lower back against the abrupt edge of a table. claws flex above her stomach, a ghost's threat of physicality, and━━━ah, there it was. the twitch of her otherwise stern countenance, curling her lips into the small beginnings of a scowl. it pushed further, tilting its head to the side as it mimicked a purr, "won't you tend to me?"

and her answer was ever so obstinate in the face of that in which she had no fear for or to. "do not waste your breath," raspy, not unlike the growl of a beast condemned within a human's throat, "you have paraded those wounds long enough. i want nothing to do with you nor your dirty faith."

an arched brow and a wider grin was all her refusal evoked from it, to which her frown only deepened, to the extent of furrowing her brows and twitching her nose.

"hm, disappointing. even after i spoke so highly of your talent to each attendant who wished to close these wounds themselves." zephia offered a half - hearted shrug of one shoulder, pulling back its claws to clasp its hands behind its back. though it straightened its posture, she had not budged from where she leaned against the table and away from it. another hum, "i suppose i'll be forced to ask my hound for aid, instead. but, ah, i'd hate to bring this up with him. he's prone to dramatics when it comes to me, i fear. you know how children get."

the slightest glance was laid upon eremiya, not ignorant to both the sudden twitch of her hand nor the stiffness of her once relaxed shoulders. amusement brightened two - toned eyes and, once the delight formed itself as laughter within the back of its throat, it played the innocent gasp of a sheep. "oh? do you know him? my darling hound; griss is his name. mark on his cheek? scarred? half - done and half - cut robes? quite the sight, no?"

but the emotion darkening eremiya's gaze could not be fright, no, for her body would have followed the reaction in full, from trembling hands to twitching eyes. thus, mage dragon opened its mouth to continue, before the sudden twist of the bishop's clenched fist tore its very breath from it. gasping, it halted itself on instinct. the magic seeping from her fingers was recognized, swiftly, though little could stop the unconscious stumble backward, a clumsiness it immediately righted.

"if you ever command that runt to stalk me again, i will rid you of your stupid dog." her fist remained closed, stubbornly withholding the stolen energy within the intangible gates of nosferatu. then came the scowl, spreading so naturally across her face that zephia could not help but utter a small, breathy laugh at the successful sight.

a shaky inhale racked its chest, but it continued to prod and poke despite the heavy exhaustion weighing its body. "you're c━━━confident, sister." her gaze narrowed; it wheezed out another laugh. "he'd tear you to shreds in seconds."

and, just as it had been torn away, the loosening of her fist filled in the gaps in the mage dragon's chest, seizing its breath and forcing it to settle on its own. though it shivered at the wealth of magic given back, unmeasured to the extent of evident noticeability.

eremiya clicked her tongue, unimpressed seemingly, "yet he had not."

obviously not. "hm - hm. . . because i told him to keep you alive. what fun are you dead?"

silence, a dreading pause, before she sighed and took hold of her staff from where it stood leaning against a nearby crate. "you have been healed, zephia," she said, "now leave me be and remember my vow."

fangs unsheathed behind its grin as it tilted its head almost curiously, "see? now was that difficult to do?" as she would have bent to its expectation in no other manner. a revelation she could only scoff at. yet her gaze only widened when it leaned to ask, "though i remember you making a great deal over not knowing how to control your magic. but after a feat like that. . . had you lied to surprise dear ol' me, i wonder?"

a pause before eremiya masked her incredulity with a sneer and shoved past it, "the battlefield needs me. make yourself useful and return to whichever den you crawled from, fool." softly, with the twitch of zephia's ear, she sighed, "how exhausting. . ."

OBLIGATORY INTERMUSE BOEL INTERACTION, FINISHED !

#toaboel2024 #motheruin #☽ ━━━━━━ ❝ the cruelty of a mother's greed ・ 【 𝐈𝐍 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 】 . #☽ ━━━━━━ ❝ she; who motherhood laughs at ・ 【 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 】 . #the second i thought of zephia wearing her wounds in pride i knew who she'd want to heal her . . . these two are sick i fear #context regarding the incident; in their drabble series zephia had griss stalk eremiya for information until she was deemed paranoid enough #+ to meet at a vulnerable state. it worked and now eremiya is scared of griss and despises zephia / thinks she's immature. #each time they meet; zephia is trying to break down eremiya's elusiveness and eremiya is trying to deconstruct zephia's show of strength #hence eremiya telling zephia that she isn't interested in performing magic in her service and zephia forcing it whenever they meet #eremiya who thinks zephia's sombronisms are dirty and zephia who thinks eremiya's gangrelisms are pathetic . . . . i hate them so much #i just need them two to get away from each other and eremiya to put in a restraining order on zephia #also wanted to flavor nosferatu in a more concentrated manner yfm? steadily keeping the line of energy taut between mage and victim but #not fully completing the spell to extend its strain? yeah this is just nonsense MKDSMKDEWMEKW

[9hikers]

the tragic part about micro-communities is that sometimes i'll see a post where some poor sap is getting fed up over smthing like "why is nonbinary always woman-lite" or "stop assuming all asexual people are sex-repulsed", meanwhile i'm over in my separate bubble always having the exact opposite problem

oh to trade places, but for a moment

#9 speaks #The Algorithm (TM) makes people way too confident that the way they experience the internet is an accurate depiction of reality #i've gotten pretty good recently at just. unfollowing people if it feels like they're flooding my dash with chronically online takes #(ironic coming from me. i know. but i dump a lot of my stuff into sideblogs so i do try to save y'all from my nonsense) #but yeah it's still funny to see a passing post in my 'for you' complaining about some shit that is completely outside of my circle #probably the most bizarre one recently has been that 'tiktokification of music' thing #my current music taste is 1) music that predates tiktok 2) soundtracks 3) music i found while down a youtube rabbithole that has <1k likes #so i have been completely immune to this 'trend' #i don't even know what kind of music you have to listen to in order to experience this apparently overbearing phenomenon #like i'm sure it's really annoying for people who are In It but i don't even know where It is

[reginrokkr]

𝐂𝐋𝐕. Good morning. As you may see not even a night's sleep is enough to erase the brainworms I have for what I was on last night about Khaenri'ah and I want to dig a little deeper about the plausibility of causing even more unrest in the society when the decision of using abyssal energy all of a sudden was made when... well, since always the energy used was the elemental one that was crystallized in blocks from the Ley Lines. My main reasoning for this is, it's known the harm that something like Eleazar caused, right? As part of the Forbidden Knowledge and how Tighnari described it as a consequence of the darkness that comes from deep within the earth on the surface. Imagine what it must've been like to live somewhere where no plants or animals can live naturally due to the hostile and toxic environment due to the proximity to the Abyss, including illnesses as a normal thing down there (who knows if its effects differed between pure-blooded and those who aren't). So thinking about this alone, I wouldn't be surprised if this change would cause an uproar in the society to change things with a logic like: you know about all the struggles we endure because of the Abyss, and now you would weaponize it as an energetic resource?

#◟༺✦༻◞ events to be remembered in blue veins ┊addendum.┊ #and this is something Marshal Anfortas was doing #and he called traitor to one of the Schwanenritter #for wanting to evacuate them from where they were #upon realizing its dangers #and even went as far as to kill them #that guy became regent of Khaenri'ah either temporary #or all the way until the kingdom was destroyed #so yeah— #also I'm sorry I'm realizing now #that I'm talking about Khaenri'ah in bits and fragments #I think I should better write a more cohesive post #touching on multiple aspects of how I view Khaenri'ah was like #I guess it's because the timing of a thread taking place there #has my mind thinking about it #in order to build a plot and something to follow #instead of going completely blind djfhjg #thank you for dealing with my ramblings and maybe nonsense even

[theorderofthetriad]

i've been reading a lot of pornographic comics lately and so many artists clearly have no understanding of panel and speech bubble ordering and layout and it's so fucking annoying and sad

#it's like... they (mostly) have all these great drawings but they've completely failed the fundamentals #and like... it's a significant number of artists who are doing this #i just don't get how you could draw a panel layout that makes no directional sense? like how can you not check it and realize it's nonsense #how can you write a bunch of speech bubbles and not realize that it's impossible to tell what order to read them in???? #santagno

[dukeofriven]

The Jedi reached peak coolness in the film Star Wars (1977) and literally every installment of the franchise since then has made them worse.

#star wars #jedi #yeah of course I think empire is a great movie #I also think yoda saying 'a real Jedi would stay here and let Vader murder all his friends' #is the start of the Jedi Order being found on precepts that are absolute goddamn nonsense #and every installment since treats Yoda as a font of wisdom #instead of—clearly—a little gremlin man in a swamp who has gone completely insane #but then Star Wars ignoring the text of Star Wars is peak Star Wars

[ereborne]

WIP Challenge Ask Game

I was tagged by @zahnie​  Thank you!!  This seems like a lot of fun

Rules: “Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it! And then tag as many people as you have wips. I have deemed that this isn’t just for writing either. Sketch titles? Comics? DND campaigns? If you have an unfinished project, it counts!!”

I didn’t list all my unfinished projects because they would be too many and also I would cry, but here are the recently active fics: 

full werewolf off the buckle (Teen Wolf)

two sharks down, Lord (Inception)

Devil's Carnival (Magnus Archives)

rather die terrified (Marvel, CC)

flag football (DC, YJ)

I have a duty! (Leverage)

window treatments (Trek, AOS)

space is colder than Iowa (Trek, AOS)

it's a small explosive device (Star Wars)

Buckle Up, Bitch (Star Wars)

elliptical (Star Wars)

I always stall out when I think about tagging folks on these things, so please post your WIP titles and @me so I can see them! 

#tagged by #zahnie #these are working titles for me to keep track of my fics and will have no resemblance whatsoever to the proper finished titles #but since those don't exist yet--the Official title is always the very last thing I do for any fic--y'all get my nonsense unadulterated #the fandoms are actually native parts of the filenames though (for searchability) so at least y'all aren't getting into this completely cold #also this is absolutely hilarious to me but this list is actually in order of how recently I edited the file (elliptical being most recent) #it just happens to work out so it's also organized by fandom because my brain works in cycles like that #also for clarification here 'recently active' means edited within the last 7 days #the brain cycles are pretty fast

[rowenabean]

Best news to end the day - I've been feeling uncertain about one of my patients so I referred him on, and he's now been seen by the incredibly competent physician I trained under and someone smarter than me is working on what's been going on

#medblr #utter relief a weight i didn't know i was carrying #this physician was my favourite to work under as a new grad #no nonsense and expected the best of his juniors #but also an incredibly silly sense of humour #he was my supervisor when my grandfather died and i was struggling #and i went into his office and said 'i can't be as good as my job as i should be' #and he looked at me kindly and said 'did you expect to be?' and completely shattered my understanding of medicine in the process #it has to be a team sport because every one of us is only human so we need other people around for when we're struggling #or to pick up things we miss #(also: 'i completely agree he needs x investigation' well *i* had completely forgotten i ORDERED x investigation so well done past me #it takes around 3 months to happen so it must be due soon)

[stiinkysocks]

i've been frequently told i have no identifiable gender by my peers and in passing, people on the street a couple times have said to the person next to them "is that a girl or a boy?"

i've been frequently called an "it" and a "thing" which should realistically upset me since by most it would be considered dehumanising [although not all of the time on purpose, mostly out of pure confusion as far as i can tell] but i am not offended by it at all, in fact i do not mind it [even though i do have a definite gender] since i already feel so alien to my peers, straining my face and voice and muscles and thoughts putting on a human suit every day in order to fit in, which does not work very well at the end of the day

it does not come naturally to me at all

I have to contort myself into unnatural shapes

all that said, i do [and don't] like the idea of being seen in that sort of way, strange and ambiguous but at the same time it is lonely, at the same time, i want to be able to bring up casual conversation like every body else can without it being forced, even though it is so banal. i want there to not an awkward air after every thing i say that even i notice , i want to be able to let out noises that occur in my speech naturally, and flap my hands and rock in my chair and assume my natural posture without every single person trying to get away from me. at the same time i prefer to be alone, because that is when i can truly be myself, by myself i can unzip the disguise i have made for myself

maybe it is more that i yearn for someone i can truly and completely unmask with, other than myself. even with my closest friends i do not do this with [hello]

where we do not even have to speak but we can just enjoy each others company in complete comfort, no expectations, just being ourselves

i really do feel like something inhuman approximating and just mimicking when i do talk. but i do it because otherwise i yearn for that type of connection with others without it i will be more jealous of people that have it, with it it is like i am saying "look, look, i can do it as well, i can have friends as well" the absence of this mask is social suicide

#yes #i am autistic #and gender non conforming #i am not saying i dislike being autistic because a lot of the time i do enjoy aspects of it such as enjoying a hyperfixation or proficiency #in certain areas #i enjoy the different perspective it gives me #although i wish i could hop into a NT persons mind in order to compare the two #i don't have anything to compare it to so i don't know how different my experience of the world truly is #of course i can read about it and visualise it but the qualia of autistic and allistic brains can never be experienced by the other #i wish everything wasn't so loud #and bright #and too much #a lot of this is why i enjoy DHMIS i think #i could go on forever about how i can relate to it through this autistic lense #everything is garish #and nothing makes sense #and when you're taught things the way they're taught is entirely nonsensical #no matter how you do things you seem to do them incorrectly because the person teaching you how is not being specific enough #yellow guy i know how you feel you are like me #i could talk about it for a very long time but i cannot completely articulate those thoughts in a satisfactory way at the moment #talking

[galadriel1010]

My brother refuses to get Tumblr, which is a tragedy because this is the complete fucking nonsense they have sent me today alone, and I think Tumblr would appreciate them more than I do.

Edit to add poll.

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

I should watch Only Lovers Left Alive tonight

#John Hurt and vampires; can’t get better than that right? #That is… basically what I’m writing right now lol (the John Hurt part is very subtle though… it’s more sneaky references than anything) #TTTLTEL #I want to write a song entirely comprised of references to every John Hurt media ever in chronological order #with lyrics that sound like complete gibberish if you don’t know what I’m talking about #Most of my songs sound like complete gibberish actually #I like confusing and worrying people #“Peanut butter fish sticks ham and eggs for breakfast” is an actual line of a song I wrote/am writing #It sounds funny but is actually extremely disgusting if you read too far into it #I’ve been told my encryption methods and conlangs make me seem mentally unwell #on account of them looking like the most tossed word salad ever #That’s how I know I’m doing it right #Because if people assume it’s nonsense then they won’t try to decrypt it #kao pe’voori bama crying cockadoodledoo ir monster señior consonant [arts and crafts channel] message

[slvttyplum]

some may wonder how toji got such a huge buff body, and he would answer the same as other people who are built like that and just smirk and say that he went to the gym, but one thing he never did was specify what kind of gym because the gym he went to was at home, and boy, did you work him out.

"fuck, slow down." while bucking his hips into you and your arms wrapped around his neck while you pushed into him, one hitting you could say is that he had great stamina, and that's what made this all the more fun. this position hit all the right spots just like you wanted it to, this was your favorite workout along with his.

now, toji wasn't completely lying when he said he worked out because he did, but he didn't specify what kind of workouts he really did and that the person asking would need a gym partner who would be good with getting fucked for two hours straight. if he wasn't breaking a sweat while fucking you, then he knew that he had to go harder.��

this wasn't an excuse to fuck you because you were on his ass like white rice about his little "workouts," because to him it was like a workout; it was a challenge to see how far and long he could go when fucking you, and toji was never one to stray away from a challenge, let alone fucking you. why not combine two of his favorite things together to make something even more amazing, and you weren't complaining at all, not when he was fucking you so good your hair was sweating out.

he wouldn't even wait until the both of you got out of the shower; he would fuck you right then and there, and after a few hours, he would hop back into the shower. this was definitely breaking the record for how long he would work out regularly, but it was worth it whenever he looked you in the face with his dick deep inside of you, about to shoot another load.

"you think we can go for five?" a smirk on his face as he lays on the bed with sweat dripping down his rock-hard abs and your body covered with his cum, he already knew the answer. luckily for the both of you, after all the fucking, the both of you built up enough stamina to keep going into the early morning if you really wanted to.

he could sell courses on how to get his physique if he really wanted to, but he didn't want to give up his secret—the secret of having you on his dick every morning until the afternoon and sweat combining together along with his cum leaking out of you and on your face. it was too good to sell. 

some might think that this is total nonsense and that this is just an excuse for the both of you to fuck each other out of your minds, but it was actually true. he didn't have to do much work since he was already in shape, but in order to keep it, he had to fuck you and fuck you good. there was no lazy fucking in the household; if he was going to fuck you, he wasn't going to stop until you were slumped over or crying. 

good for him, though; you matched his freak. 

grinding your hips into him while he helped all your weight up and pushed his hips into you and grabbed your hips, pushing you into him even more, your walls clenching around him tightly from how deep he was going. fucking over and over again was better than any other workout, and he knew that. that's why he decided to retire from the gym down the street and start attending the at home one.

there was no card to get in, no monthly fees, just horniess and his beautiful partner to help with his rounds and sets.

he couldn't ask for a better workout partner.

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk x reader #jjk x you #x reader #jujustsu kaisen x reader #zenin toji #toji fushiguro #toji x reader #jjk toji #toji smut #toji x you #toji zenin #fushiguro #fushiguro toji #fushiguro toji x reader #jjk fushiguro #toji fushigro x reader

[sistertotheknowitall]

Danny is Some Guy with a not so secret admirer.

Part four? Post #four? I don’t know, none of these are exactly in order. Post one, post two, post three.

——

By the time Tim opened the door, Danny had his coffee made and handed to Mia at the register. He resolutely ignored her smug face and went back to making the other orders.

Tim had been a regular long before Danny had started at the coffee shop but it was three days into Danny’s third week when Tim had stumbled in at eight a.m. and did a double take upon seeing Danny. A very obvious double take followed by intense staring before Mia had cleared her throat. The blush that lit up Tim’s face was only rivaled by the one on Danny’s.

He had never had anyone openly stare at him before.

Mia had been insufferable ever since.

It also didn’t help that shortly after their first meeting Tim had started taking his breaks at the little coffee shop. It’s been three weeks, nearly a month and Wayne Enterprise’s CEO went from a bi-weekly regular to an everyday one. (Danny wondered if he should be concerned for the man’s caffeine intake but he only had the one cup every time so probably not.)

Originally, Danny had no plans to talk to Tim. It seemed obvious the guy had a crush on Danny if the constant looks over his laptop were anything to go by and Danny didn’t want to encourage it. Danny barely had time to make new friends let alone start a relationship.

There was also the added problem of what was quickly becoming his bat stalkers. How do you explain to someone that you were being watched by Gotham’s vigilante’s for no reason? (Or worse because he had made a poorly timed sleep-deprived comment.) Danny didn’t think you could without seeming suspicious.

Incidentally though, Danny’s plan went out the window when on a slow afternoon as he was cleaning tables and passed behind Tim. Once he saw the article the other man was reading he snorted.

Bruce Wayne and The Batman? Could This Be A New Romance For Gothams Most Beloved Billionaire?

It was one of those gossip rags that printed things like: Elvis: alive and well and Superman: a mild mannered farm boy? It was all nonsense.

Danny asked Tim why he bothered with the site and Tim responded that he found it amusing to read and that his family had a group chat where they sent the articles to each other.

“Okay. But Batman? Really? Your dad could do so much better.”

“You don’t like Batman?” Tim asked. Danny had slid into the chair next to him and shrugged. “I respect what he does but for as intimidating as he is, he also seems a little silly.”

Tim had given him an incredulous look and Danny hadn’t given him time to ask for an explanation, “and his kids can be just as rude. Like that flying monkey one.” Tim choked on air and Danny politely waited for him to calm down. “Kids? Wait - flying monkey one? Which one -?”

“The one always doing back flips with the blue bird symbol. He’s also a dick that gives hypocritical lectures about fighting.” Danny wouldn’t say he hated the guy but he wasn’t sure how many more lectures he could endure before going ghost and fighting him.

Tim had turned to Danny completely and was watching him with a look of disbelief, “you mean Nightwing?”

“Is that his name? Imma call him Dickwing.”

Tim had started choking again, this time Danny patted his back hoping to help. Yet it was all for not once he kept talking, “I think I’ve only had positive interactions with the one who looks like a walking red flag.”

“Red flag? Do you men hood-?”

“No, although he is definitely a red flag, I mean the other Red one. I’m sorry, I don’t know all these peoples names yet.”

“Danny!” Mia called.

Danny stood and patted Tim, who looked a little shell-shocked, on the shoulder. “Well work calls, see you later Mr. Drake-Wayne.” As he walked away he heard Tim mutter “it’s just Tim.”

(Tim for his part, placed his head in his hands and thought, well at least I have his name now.)

After that first interaction Tim stopped playing the lurker and started to actually talk to Danny and vise versa. Danny never asked if he still had a crush on him, he wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

Unfortunately, their growing friendship had only encoraged Mia as she happily sang “your boyfriend’s here!”

Danny, very maturely, did not stick his tongue out at her. He did however flip her off under the counter like an adult.

#danny is just some guy #I’m still on Danny’s pov #it’s just sillier from his perspective #batman #batfamily #batboys #batman fandom #dick grayson #batman wayne family adventures #danny phantom #dp x dc #dpxdc #dc x dp crossover #dp dc crossover #dp x dc crossover #dp crossover #dc x dp #dcxdp #tim drake #tim drake wayne #danny fenton #I added a little OC #Mia the OC

[homunculus-argument]

The reason I like history so much is the way you can see how unchanging human nature is. People have always been doing the same things, with different tools. Ancient Sumerians writing "I am not warning you now in hopes that you'll actually do anything, I am writing this to later prove that I warned you and you did nothing" messages in clay tablets like you'd write an office e-mail. Ancient philosophers talking about shepherds and archers, explaining the exact same problem you had this morning, like they're personally calling you out.

200 years ago, somebody was complaining about Kids These Days burying their faces in books in order to avoid socialising just the same as someone else is now ranting how their children would rather browse their phones than listen to them rant. People were arguing anonymously in the posting boards and newspaper sections just the same as they do on the internet. Someone in the bronze age woke up at 5 am to the sound of toddlers fighting over complete nonsense just the same as someone woke up to the same noises today.

For as long as there have been people, there have been people doing the same kind of things as you. From some dude in a cave with berries for paint, some Roman planning a mosaic on a wall, ancient Chinese noblewoman illustrating her calligraphed poem and some medieval monk decorating the borders of a manuscript and me on my laptop with my stylus pen, we're all just sitting here in our different times and places, wondering why the FUCK are horses so hard to draw.

[a-hazbin-reader]

Do you have Alastor x drunk flirty Reader?😞

I wanna see how flustered he is omg

As per the poll~

Alastor X Reader Headcanons

✅️Romantic

❌️Platonic

TW: Alcohol, Drunk!Wife, Alastor STRUGGLING to contain his wife's rizz, He's embarrassed but likes it

Description:☝️⬆️

Alastor can handle his liquor pretty well, years of drinking with Mimzy has built up his tolerance to a considerable degree

As his wife, you had some tolerance but not nearly as high as your husband's, Mimzy often teasing you for not being able to keep up with the two of them

It didn't help that once the alcohol was in your system that your drunken mind just wanted your husband and his attention, so it was always painfully obvious when you were drunk

So you tried to limit yourself to a few drinks whenever you went out in order the avoid that outcome

But tonight, it had failed, Angel taking everyone out for drinks and dragging you along with them, your husband forced to tag along

Because he was not going to miss out on time with his wife, hell no, never gonna happen

You did try and keep to your limit, but the fun atmosphere and being surrounded by your friends made you loosen up a bit

Everyone kept buying more drinks and they kept coming your way, your husband started to try to drink some for himself but you had started to whine at him

"Alastor..! That's... my... my... mine..."

He squished your cheeks together to mess up your cute pout, your face flushed and stance a little wobbly

"You, my dear~ Are completely drunk right now...~"

He's a little drunk too but won't admit it

It's all he can do not to gush and coo over how cute you are, he forgot just how adorable you could be when you were drunk

You suddenly surge forward and sit yourself in his lap, arms wrapping around his neck as he struggles to balance the two of you on the barstool

"I'm not drunk~ Just needy for my husband~"

The combination of your low tone and fingers playing with the edges of his collar makes his face heat up, a small bleat escaping him

You lean against him, rubbing your cheek against his shoulder as you reach up to play with the ends of his hair instead, sighing happily

"You really are... just so handsome, you know~"

Alastor grips your hand gently to pull it away, clearing his throat before another embarrassed sound comes out, blushing slightly

"D-Darling... we're in public..!"

But you're not listening to him, your unsteady gaze on his lips and poking his nose happily

"You~ Are~ Just so~ Irresistible~"

He's mortified that your only reaction is to laugh and slap your hands over his cheeks, pulling him in for a long kiss

His ears twitch wildly as he hears the others whooping at the two of you, Angel, Charlie and Niffty being the loudest of the bunch

Alastor hardly gets the chance to catch his breath once you finally pull away, sputtering out nonsense about PDA and married couples

You don't even look ashamed of yourself, humming a song to yourself that he'll later realize was the love song you both dedicated to each other

"Darling, I think it's time for us to go home."

It's all he can do not to immediately give in when you whine and give him puppy eyes, clinging to him tightly once he picks you up

Only to feel flustered when that pathetic look turns into something more sultry and you grip his shirt to tug him closer to your face

"Alastor, you dirty rascal~ You just can't wait to get me home, huh~?"

Your laughter and teasing words make him blush more, having to look up at the ceiling in an effort to hide it

A pleasant chill runs up his spine as he feels your lips kissing along his neck, a hand sneaking under under his jacket

"Darling, please contain yourself..!"

"You never let me spoil you..! Come on, Alastor~ Let me treat you right~"

Another bleat escapes him as he quickly carries you out of the bar, only then realizing you managed to smuggle out a drink

"How in the world did you-"

You give him a sappy smile and press a finger to his lips, cooing at him like he's the one who's being silly

"I wouldn't be your wife if I didn't have ways of surprising you~"

His gaze softens a bit, and he leans down to nuzzle your head gently, savoring the soft sound that escapes your mouth

"You would always be my wife, no matter what..."

His little comment seems to sober you up suddenly, blushing and squeezing him tight the rest of the way back home, something he's grateful for

He would be mortified if anyone knew how easily his wife could fluster him when she really wanted to

He doesn't put you down until you two reach the hotel and even then he keeps an arm wrapped around you to keep you steady

"Alastor..! I can walk by myself, you know..!"

He only hums and kisses your head, not letting you go despite your whines and adorable protests

"I'm well aware, my dear~ Try to think of this as for my benefit~"

It was apparently the right choice of words because you practically purr and glue yourself to his side, putting nearly all you weight on him

"I see~ This is just another excuse to keep me close to you~ You softie~"

Another hot flush of embarrassment flows through him, too flustered to do anything other than accept the kiss you steal from his lips

And because he's a good husband, he helps you get ready for bed, getting you into your pajamas and making sure you drink some water before you lay down

Only to be taken by surprise when you suddenly tug him down on the bed next to you and roll on top of him, nearly tumbling off the bed from the momentum

"Darling! You'll fall!!"

It takes all of his strength and reflexes to grab your hips and haul you back into his lap, panting from the sudden adrenaline rush

You're oblivious to it, only leaning down to rub noses with him, a big smile on your face as you hug him

"Mmn... It's a good thing I have such a strong, powerful overlord husband to catch me, then, isn't it~?"

Maybe it was your flattery, or your adorable drunken nature, or the comfort of your weight settled on top of him, but Alastor suddenly just felt so warm and sleepy

His arms wrap around you, rubbing your back softly as he kisses the side of your head, sighing happily

"My dear, you are just such a treat... especially when you're completely and utterly drunk~"

You're already half asleep, head nestled against his chest and eyes closed, humming the same song as before

"Mn... not drunk..."

He chuckles softly and kisses your head again, nuzzling you before eventually noticing that you've fallen asleep

Alastor won't let go of you the entire night, not even when he himself falls asleep, so you wake up hungover and trapped in his arms

"Ugh... Alastor, let go of me. I think I got drunk last night..."

Your sudden struggle to escape his grip wakes him up, yawning and rolling onto his side yet not letting you go, only holding you tighter

"Mm... I told you so, darling..."

X3

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