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poptimus-prime · 4 years

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Here is what the kids call my highly disorganized, half-baked list of stuff that could have been done with Jack to make him a better character.

@yeetmetothehell I am sorry if you are disappointed by my ideas.

“Optimus was more like...Jack.” OK…so show us that.

In my opinion...Jack seems like he was intended to be written to be almost a parallel to Orion’s journey to becoming Optimus Prime, at least how he is used in the plot. Jack is described as “smart and responsible”, which can also be read as “hardworking and responsible” and really this can be achieved in narratively using a few points, IMO:

Long hours in his room/the library studying outside of work and school.

Filling out the background of the garage more with sketches/print outs of motorcycle blueprints (to keep the idea that Jack really wants a motorcycle and show hints of extreme dedication, but they’re kept in the garage rather than his room to metaphorically show that distance he’s put between himself and what he wants)

“Man of the House”/”Grew up too fast” (This will be discussed more later but TL;DR “I’ll handle the electric bill this month, Mom”)

Somewhat fragile work/school/life balance that Jack somehow perfectly maintained before meeting the team

Orion was very physically passive. Jack seems to be intended to be written as passive but it comes off as an apathetic reluctance that Orion doesn’t possess (Orion may not believe in violence but he clearly wasn’t unwilling to communicate his thoughts; it’s how he got the title of Prime in the first place.) However, Orion had to learn to become more outspoken over time probably, so we can keep him as being aloof/reluctant at the start of the series.

“Man of the House”/”Grew up too Fast”

It’s no secret Jack came from a nonconventional home; June is very explicitly portrayed as a single mother with a dad nowhere in the picture. However the situation surrounding Mr. Darby is unknown. The way June talks about it makes me personally feel like Jack’s dad either ran out or divorced June and doesn’t bother with his kid. Dysfunction in the family really just goddamn changes you TBH. (can confirm bc hi, I come from a dysfunctional home) Sometimes you just grow up super fast. Jack probably spent his childhood missing his mom as she worked shifts at the hospital and seeing how lonely and hurt she was. He maybe went out and got a job the first day he could and helps with smaller bills (“I’ll handle the electric bill this month.”), or maybe other expenses like groceries and his own phone bill. June probably makes enough to comfortably support her and her son, especially given her job and the cost of living in rural ass desert Nevada. But Jack still does this anyways--it’s how he copes with his issues after what happened with his dad. Doubling down and trying to be what he thinks is the bigger man because his dad couldn’t be fucked.

This would make the disruption him letting the bots into his life creates more staggering; June doesn’t expect her son to pay bills, but the sudden change in behavior (skipping out on work) would be a cause for concern because sudden shifts like that are Usually Signs that Something is Very Wrong. Especially because Jack is usually responsible and open with his mom; he would have told her if he was gonna cut hours at work, theoretically.

Jack feels like he has to constantly put his own wants aside to contribute to his household. Even if June doesn’t force this expectation upon him, it’s a feeling that he will have, especially if he watched his dad just abandon him and June. Maybe he has resentment towards his dad for this and that is causing some anger he’s keeping tightly under wraps? And maybe the bots give him an excuse to do something he actually wants to do for once or some excitement in his life and that’s why he goes along with it? Lots of options, people!

Clothing Choices: The Hoodie™

You are going to have to deal with me being a whore for costuming choices and what they can mean. The show has a problem with the humans wearing the same shit every time they’re on screen and I’d love to rant about all of them (yeah yeah I get it saving money) but I’m focusing on Jack right now. Give Jack a hoodie 2020. A grey one or some other dull and drab color. And make him actually always wear the hood (except like in scenes where he is working bc workplace dress codes obviously) As time progresses, the drab hoodie is changed to a more vibrant color, but he still always has the hood over his head. And then, at a pivotal moment, the boy takes the hood off. (You could even throw in Miko cracking a joke about Jack actually having hair if you really wanted TBH.) Why this? The narrative is that Jack is constantly holding himself under wraps because of his self-imposed responsibilities. As he starts to become more into his own, he decides to express himself more with brighter colors, but still has some reservations. When he takes the hoodie off, that’s when he’s fully realized himself in this process and thus completes the parallel.

Actually make him interact with Optimus in a meaningful manner.

Arcee can still be his guardian in the field and I think working on strengthening their relationship is vital. But also, if you’re gonna make Jack the confidante holding the key to Vector Sigma, there actually has to be...meaningful interaction. Optimus asking Jack what he’s so engrossed in reading and Jack explaining the book he’s got with passion before shutting himself up and saying “it’s kinda dumb though” or something. And Optimus just responds “I don’t think it’s dumb, tell me more.” Coaxing him towards more self-discovery and expression. Optimus maybe sees more of his old self in Jack and starts attempting to be a quasi-paternal figure without really thinking about it because he is, after all, Dadimus. Jack maybe lashes out about how he doesn’t need Optimus to be his dad and that makes the space between them tense for a while. Eventually Jack comes to apologize and maybe there’s an important Talk.. Just a few ideas I will expand on later. I feel like forgiveness and lack thereof is a good theme--I know I was held back for a long time because of how convoluted the concept of forgiveness is with family.

The Character Arc

So, what would Jack’s character development throughout the events of season 1 be? My basic idea for a Jack arc that mirrors Orion’s self-realization and coming into Prime-hood without being a carbon copy is essentially:

Jack is portrayed as a responsible, hardworking, studious teenager who constantly turns down chances for fun and excitement to handle his responsibilities. Has clear dreams for after high school and for his own personal life; but he’s constantly contemplating and changing his mind about whether he will or not because he’s extremely dedicated to helping his mom and all that. However, he still gets super curious about Arcee and gets swept up by her in the Vehicon chase, and he still has whispers of courage and protects Raf during the altercation. He first tries to ditch Team Prime because he’s concerned about his responsibilities, but eventually returns because he’s drawn to the opportunity to finally go buck wild for once in his life (even if he spends his time being hesitant about everything.) His hesitancy and dedication to severe self-imposed responsibility is a result of his inability to move on from what his dad did to him and his mom; he’s under the impression that he 1) Has to forgive someone to move on, and thus 2) He cannot move on because his dad isn’t there to bother to say sorry and take on his position as Dad. In essence, he becomes less the character telling Miko to stop and more the character being pushed by Miko to be more adventurous. In lulls in action, Optimus starts to take interest in him when he notices his constant hesitance to express himself and is just being dragged along rather than going willingly. Has a conversation with him about a book Jack’s reading, which Jack attempts to shut down because it’s “dumb and childish,” but Optimus urges him to continue. The idea that June knows about Arcee as a bike and Jack explaining that he bought a motorcycle as a fixer-upper for dirt cheap can stay. (He probably still is saving up for his motorcycle.)

The longest portion, after Optimus starts interacting with Jack on a level of bonding and gently coaxing him to be himself— Jack becomes more outspoken and he’s shown as curious, analytical, quick witted, and has a deep sense of justice. Being young and craving a childhood lost to his trauma and self-imposed obligations to help his mom with running the household, he suddenly starts spending more time at the base pursuing hobbies and going on missions rather than studying and work, which concerns June. She tries to press Jack, and is met with what can be described as typical teenage headbutting that gets progressively worse. She grounds Jack after the fight, MECH takes her, the rescue happens. (That makes sense to stay in this narrative IMO.) Around this time, Optimus has effectively started becoming Jack’s own Alpha Trion—teaching him things that he’s picked up that he may feel apply to Jack. Jack interprets one of these lessons as Optimus trying to be “dad” and he’s not having it. Makes it VERY clear that he does not need a dad (“didn’t need one before and sure as fuck don’t need one now”) and definitely snaps at Optimus, which then pushes his progress in the arc closer to the end. He eventually comes back to apologize, and Optimus forgives him. He and Optimus have a heart-to-heart about one of the hardest lessons Optimus has had to learn—how to let go of the past without forgiving those who have hurt you and refuse to make amends, so that you may determine your own future. It’s very clear he’s talking about Megatron, even though he never says his name. Jack takes this lesson to heart.

His final bit of development before the hood removal thing probably happens during the events of “Rock Bottom” and reinforces that hard lesson, right when he’s faced with the option to off Megatron. Maybe there’s some taunting about how Optimus preaches softness and forgiveness too much when Jack refuses to kill him. Jack gets angry, and he’s about to fucking do it. But then he stops, takes a breath, and says “Optimus doesn’t preach forgiveness, he preaches moving on from those who refuse to move on themselves. He will never forgive you, but he’s learned to live on despite what you’ve done.” Soon after this, when Megatron comes to the base, Jack takes off his hood, stares Megatron right in the face, and says “This is not forgiveness, Megatron. Don’t you forget that.” Later, when Optimus gives him the key, he tells him something along the lines of “you have grown since we’ve met, Jack, and even though there is still a long way for you to go...” he hands Jack the key. “...Remember that even I am a work in progress.”

Anyways this is again, half-baked. And needs lots of polishing. But it’s something.

#luna.docx #No I will not be tagging this outside the blog #I am self conscious about it

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thanksjro · 4 years

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More Than Meets the Eye #9- Cops is Filmed on Location With the Mechs of Law Enforcement

It’s time for some gotdang origin stories, y’all.

Back before the war, when Functionist ideology was really just rocking the scene hardcore, Nightbeat stood outside of Maccadam’s New Oil House and had a chat with Quark.

No, not that Quark, the other one.

Quark’s reading an article at Nightbeat’s request about an attack on something called a relinquishment clinic, by a member of the Decepticons. Quark’s not a huge fan of the Decepticons, because he’s got a good thing going on Functionist Cybertron as a rare proton microscope, and even if things aren’t perfect, they’re pretty okay for him personally. At least he’s aware of his privilege.

Don’t be so quick to judge, Quark. Some Decepticons are into microscopes.

He’s pretty convinced that if the Decepticons get their way, they’re going to murder anyone who’s never handled a shovel. This is the same sort of misconception a lot of people have about the phrase “eat the rich”- it’s more about those who benefit from the social structure by way of oppressing others as opposed to those who flourish within it by their own work ethic and talents.

Granted, we as the reader know that shit is absolutely going to go sideways for everyone once the war kicks off, but Quark as it currently stands shouldn’t be nearly as worried as he is. He thinks Rung of all people is a threat, so you can tell he’s really feeling the paranoia of the times.

Hi Rung! Hope you’re enjoying your you-time. It’s important to have that, good for mental health.

The conspiracy convo gets cut short as Quark’s drink gets dripped in.

I mean, it’s all the same stuff, right? He could probably still drink it. Waste not, want not.

In the present day, we set up our framing device, with all of our friends welcoming Ratchet into the fray, as he shows off the fact that he finally color-matched his hands to the rest of his body.

Here’s a little joke for you: a spiritualist, two doctors, an archivist, a sentient marshmallow, a victim of ritualistic mutilation, and the hottest guy on the ship watch a third doctor walk into a bar.

Gentlemen, please, I haven’t even gotten to the punchline yet.

Anyway, Rewind’s set up this little hang sesh for medicinal purposes, after consulting Chromedome on the nature of the brain.

Rung’s looking a lot better than the last time we saw him, in that he’s got a head again, but he’s not really… functional right now. Hence this little meet up- everyone here has had their paths cross many times in the past, whether they realized it or not.

Except Tailgate, who took a six million year dirt-nap. He’s just here for shits and giggles.

And Swerve, but it’s his bar, and he’s lonely, so of course he’s going to stick around for this.

Anyway, those assembled will be taking turns in telling the story they all played a part in, in an attempt to kick-start Rung’s brain back into letting him do literally anything. Thanks to his obscenely large collection of historical documents and footage, Rewind more or less knows the structure the story will take- as shown by his conspiracy bulletin board that maps out everything that will be covered in the Shadowplay arc. The central pin in all this? Well, it’s Transformers, and it’s been a hot minute since we’ve seen the face of the franchise, so you tell me who it’s going to be.

Rewind sets the scene, giving everyone the skinny on the setting we’ll be in for the next little bit.

Way to see the silver lining, Swerve.

Chromedome starts the story off, because he’s a main character in all this, and also if you think Rewind would pass up the chance to listen to this capital-T-shaped dweeb talk, you’re deluding yourself.

In the past Chromedome worked mechaforensics- y’know, forensics for mecha- under a different name, which we will not be learning at this current time because it’ll muddle the already-convoluted narrative we’re about to get going here. Chromedome had the displeasure of working alongside then-desk jockey, Prowl.

Awful geared up for a desk jockey, ain’t he?

Yep. Chromedome used to be a cop, he partnered up with Prowl, he looked even more like a koala than he does now, and he was on the case of the assassinated Senator Sherma. What they don’t tell you is that if Sherma had turned out to have survived the ordeal of being strung up from a bridge upside-down, he would have been charged with food and health code violations for that little stunt he pulled on Quark’s drink.

Skids breaks the narrative flow to get the low-down on Prowl’s whole deal, because he doesn’t know who that is. Swerve breaks it down real quick, while Rewind provides visual aid.

A for effort.

The boys get a little distracted discussing Prowl’s anger management practices, until Drift asks that they move on, because Rodimus is sending him insulting messages on his tiny and paper thin comm because he can’t handle being ignored by his #1 fan. It’s just as well though, because it’s Drift’s turn to spin the yarn.

So, once upon a time, Drift wasn’t doing so hot. It wasn’t the whole “I’m a murderous Decepticon” thing- that was later on- but rather a horrific drug addiction, sense of self-loathing and being homeless. On the day of Sherma’s assassination, Drift was so out of his gourd on circuit speeders, he didn’t even register the fact that he was approached by a pair of robots and promptly beaten by the two of them for money.

Things looks bad for poor Drift, but not to worry, because the main reason for this arc existing just showed up.

There he is, in all his pin-up art glory.

Orion Pax, the mech who would become Optimus Prime, proceeds to arrest Sonic and Boom- yeah, it’s the two guys from Delphi, we aren’t wasting the brain power on creating two new characters for this one scene, that’s crazy talk- and then calls for a bus to keep Drift from biting it due to drug overdose.

Listen to the professionals, folks. They know more than you about the shit that can kill you. It’s why they get paid the big bucks.

(I have no idea what Ratchet’s salary is like.)

Drift is taken to Ratchet’s super-secret, please-don’t-tell-the-Senate-about-this clinic in the Dead End, where we get a taste of Drift riffing on Ratchet in the present, as he paints a picture of a spiritual young doctor who actively and loudly praises Adaptus as he works on a ODing patient. The Ratchet of the here and now doesn’t appreciate this twisting of the truth, and makes it known by smearing his still-wet hand paint all over Drift’s face.

Shane McCarthy slipped James Roberts a twenty to set up a slowburn between his OC and Ratchet back in issue #4. Here, Roberts tends to the seeds of their shared past that were planted in the Delphi arc.

Drift didn’t take Ratchet’s advice back then, something that is and will continue to be a running issue for the two of them, and the sudden downshift in tone lets Tailgate ask about just what in the sam hill a relinquishment clinic is. Chromedome fills him in, Rewind providing visuals.

A relinquishment clinic was a place where a Transformer could sell their body- not in a sex-work way, but literally, as you let someone else have their spark planted into your vacated frame for a short period of time, just to try out different modes and looks. It was expensive, and only used to get around the fact that only the most elite of cybertronians could alter their bodies, because only they had enough influence to have the Functionist Senate look the other way. Ratchet never approved of the practice, and this is where he takes over the story.

Too bad we don’t get to see what all that’s about just yet, because there are more pressing matters at hand, like the fact that Nominus Prime is dead.

Seems like there’s a conspiracy at hand, and Orion is considering introducing Ratchet to a friend on the inside- and in the present time, Drift leaves to go meet with Rodimus so he’ll stop being a pest. Chromedome picks his story thread back up, bringing us to Prowl’s requested autopsy.

The boys in the lab broke Sherma down to his base parts, labeled each part, and laid them out on the floor in no discernible order. Maybe it’s based on the Cybertronian alphabet. I suppose we’ll never know.

The autopsy revealed that Sherma was shot several times, which we’d already managed to suss out at the scene of the crime, without getting half the forensics team involved, but we did get a little something for our troubles.

More evidence for Rodimus’ Uggs.

No, I’m never letting this go, don’t even bother asking.

The kind of glass that they found is only found in one specific area of Iacon, known as Translucentica Heights, and how about that! Prowl just so happens to have a search warrant for Translucentica Heights. Wow. Way to go, Prowl.

Meanwhile, Ratchet and Orion are hanging out at the monument for the Ark-1, which is the ship that fucked off into space and got eaten by the Dead Universe. Cyclonus remembers. I bet he kind of wishes that he didn’t, but he remembers.

Orion’s very good friend the Senator shows up, and Orion introduces him to Ratchet. The Senator was first introduced in Chaos Theory- he’s convinced that Orion is a very special individual, and had his body altered without permission while he was passed out, so that he might one day carry the Matrix.

Orion is maybe just a touch too trusting of authority figures, unless that figure is god himself.

Ratchet helps create a visage of not-plotting, as Orion and the Senator discuss whether or not Nominus was assassinated by the Senate. Dear Senator says “fuck yeah he was” and it was in no small part due to the fact that the Matrix he was carrying was a fake.

There’s also something that’s going on between Sentinel and the Decepticons, which leads Orion to ask about Megatron and how he’s doing. He’d probably be doing a hell of a lot better if you hadn’t given the Senate that he directly opposes his full name and occupation, Orion, but it’s sweet that you’re worried.

Back with the wonder cops, Chromedome and Prowl are shooting across the sky to the tune of Shooting Star as they make their way over to Translucentica Heights. They discuss the validity of claims that the Institute exists as they make their way over to Sherma’s apartment building, when someone gets thrown out the window from roughly 4000 stories up.

Trailbreaker was right, Fort Max having guns in his legs doesn’t make him special, if these losers are doing it too.

In the present, Drift’s finally caught up with Rodimus in the oil reservoir, where he’s coaxing Grapple like a wounded baby deer through pulling something out of the muck.

It’s Red Alert, and he’s seen better days.

I mean, sure, that seems like the most likely option, seeing as he’s the only non-Autobot aboard this giant stupid ship, and you haven’t done anything to actually gather evidence on what’s happened to our pal here. It makes sense for the knee-jerk reaction to be to blame the dude who blew up Kimia.

We’ll see where that line of thought gets us next issue.

#transformers #jro #mtmte #shadowplay #issue 9 #maccadam #Hannzreads #text post #long post #comic script writing

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itissadbutitsmy-life · 4 years

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the funniest jokes in bfdi

flower’s announcer crusher that she just. has, and everyone else just uses it too

trying to put out a fire by holding ice cube’s recovery center over the fire so she just falls into it endlessly

every single one of yellow face’s products, including but not limited to

fork attractant, for when you need a fork but don’t have the cutlery on hand

headphones you cannot change the volume on or remove

money slips, you just write an amount on them, and it counts as legal tender

“thats a pentagon!” “yeah! like if you took my name and added ‘Tagon’!“

in like episode 2 when they all run away from something and a second later flower casually power-walks away from it instead of running

when balloony deflated and a while later cloudy flies over and goes “i cannot believe it! this is a dead body!!”

“he’s not dead, he just needs a little help thats all! (starts reinflating him too fast) but i agree, he is a hindrance when he is deflate- ohh noooo”

hollow jawbreakers that sound can come into but can’t go out of

when they stuck loser in a jawbreaker they inverted it, so they can hear him talk to himself but he cant hear anything around him

no one seems to know that thats why they can hear him

one time they all ended up in space. because of budget cuts.

actually every time budget cuts lead to something that seems way cooler than their previous stuff, like sparkly purple lasers instead of a mechanical arm to eliminate people with

the consistently bad cake at stake prizes. one time it was just a block of ice cut into six pieces. one time it was dirty shovels.

the magical die of judgement

when freesmart drove across the ocean in their van and they managed it by holding their breath and each time one of them died they just recovered them and threw their corpse out the back

golf ball messing up naming her team by saying things like “we need to be another name” and ending up on teams called Another Name and A Better Name Than That

one team was formed entirely around learning to not kill people. pillow overhears them say “youre against killing?” and goes “:D did someone say killing??”

tennis ball admonishing rocky for not knowing how to write: “no arms is no excuse”

they had to find a needle in a haystack and needle just turned herself in, successfully

when they started using a board with the points written on it on flaps of paper instead of a computer screen, but due to budget cuts, it could only display two digits per contestant, so anyone who went over 100 started immediately dropping to the bottom of the rankings

when ice cube was sleeping at the cake of stake podiums and got shot up into the air at like 3000 mph

2763

when the eliminated contestants tried to escape the loser chamber and they just rolled it off into the ocean

theyre saved because the sun rises and picks them up out of the ocean

also apparently the chamber opens for like five minutes a day for sunlight, but instead of just climbing out during that time, which they seem to be capable of doing, they do a much more convoluted thing

they were sick of four so they got rid of him by multiplying him with donut, and it worked

ruby has some really weirdly specific ideas of beauty and coaches flower

the line delivery of “killing a bubble is as easy as one, two, th(pop)” “i just learned two things about bubble: she can be su i c i d a l and she’s S O D U M B she CANT even count to T H R E E!”

a few episodes later bubble angrily shows them she CAN count to three if she lives long enough to do so, and pencil and match are both like :O :O

bubbles first line in season four is her rapidly counting to ten before getting popped

the way each team breaks their jawbreakers

8 ball just goes “MNYAH” and bites it in half

"okay black hole, do the thing”

leafy tries to use woody’s tongue to lick it open even though rocky and balloony were doing just fine using acid

iance just going ‘bwehbwehbweh’ all licking the same one

team ice cube was doing a mix of bwebwhbehbbwehbw and loudly drilling it open with naily

when four loved so hard he shot eraser off over the horizon

when they’re discussing team names in season one and theyre all talking over each other so you cant hear what theyre saying, except match, who grabs a megaphone and screams “SMOKY HOT FIERY BUNS”

when needle made a cake and put so much yeast in it that it breached earth’s atmosphere and astronomers apparently began classing earth as part of a three planet system (”consisting of the earth, the moon, and something called ‘needles cake’”)

“it’s ice cube! and she’s shrinking?” “she’s falling”

saying “(x character)! wake up!!” when it’s unclear (to the audience) why a character looks silly or apparently isnt responding

blocky’s sleeping pose is him with his eyes wide open, sporting a big goofy grin and hugging his legs

david’s sleeping pose is him with X eyes

one time the contest was to fill a tank with water from crying, and golf ball immediately ordered tennis ball to cry. he couldn’t do it on command, so golf ball tried, and cried her first ever tear, just... her first one

when the prize was fortune cookies, the fortunes were bracelety’s notes about how much she loves ice cube

“four, where’d you get these fortunes again?” “dumpster!”

“lightning always forgets to fly, so he had to be the fake”

when they were flying paper planes and stapy accidentally stapled his teammates into theirs, and he just hovered next to it while he was talking to them before they all started to plummet

the entire scene where liy tries to use ice cube to force teardrop to talk

“i’ll hold teardrops jaw open and you wiggle her vocal chords”

“i hate you” “yeah i hate her too!” “no. i hate you.”

“ice cube will only stop when she WANTS to stop!” “i want to stop”

“YOU SAID YOU WOULD HELP ME! YOU SAID YOU WERE COOL!” “so r r y (starts wiggling)”

“ICE CUBE! I AM APPALLED!!!!!”

ice cube gets bitten and starts screaming while bracelety is yelling “YEAH ICE CUBE! I CANT HEAR YOU, LOUDER!!”

apparently everyone who hates golf ball gets physically sick when they get near her (or at least, ruby does and snowball did once he knew she was there)

blocky got eaten by a monster in episode two but it turned out the monster missed him by a bit so he was fine

taco’s teammates thought she was dead forever and wrote eulogies for her, and once they found out she was alive lollipop threw hers away, but saw kept hers because in her eyes they’re still valid!!

when things started to get dramatic in the s1 finale, and leafy called announcer on the phone and he was in a ball pit

loser’s trapped in a jawbreaker and the only thing with him is donut’s diary. the next time you see him he’s reading it furiously and it’s filled with color-coded sticky notes

pillow decided if you wave your arms it means all your “care spirit” is getting sucked out your arms and sent into space (”a true indicator that person doesn’t give a fluff”)

remote got hacked and her FIRST INSTINCT is to send the hackers a bomb

“if theres an announcer recovery center now, that means we can kill the announcer as much as we want and he’ll still come back to give us dream island!”

they ask black hole to push them in their swing and he says he can’t push, but he can pull like there’s no tomorrow

“no i can literally warp space time so that there will be no tomorrow” “yeah,h don’t do that.”

when they have a tiebreaker announcer pulls out a silk tie and goes “first team to break this tie wins”

the second time, almost before he finished speaking, snowball just reached over and ripped it in half effortlessly

“proves you don’t need frills to make a feast for the eyes!” “more like taco doesn’t need to be dead to be deceased in my eyes!!!”

they had a race where everyone on each team had their legs tied together (like a three-legged race, but with like six people on a team)

pen’s team was doing fine but he wasn’t, so they just dragged him along behind

snowball tied his team into a ball and dragged them himself, to predictable results, and wouldn’t stop until he got to the finish line even though it took him until after the sun went down

he failed, actually, and him and his team plummeted down a ravine when he passed out

“the opposite of dream island! night...nightmare moon!!”

donut stuck his arms through a one way camera to the moon (it transmits matter as well as light), and to fix the fact that his arms were on the moon and his body was on earth, he pushed the entire earth through the camera

the moon is smushed up against the earth now. it has not been resolved yet

“gelatin and firey tied their legs together and fell off” “ya, seems like the kind of thing they would do”

pencil got caught by a monster and couldnt get away, so they had to kill her so they could recover her somewhere else, and they let her pick how they did it, which lead to everyone just sawing her in half while she grinned ear to ear. she was singing too. iconic

but first, match, her best friend, started waggling a big butcher’s knife around at her going “hoohoo hoeheehee im killing pencil loookat me” and pencil said “match put your butterknife away, you have to ACTUALLY kill me”

and when they were sawing her in half bubble had the BIGGEST, most BLISSFUL grin, with her eyes half closed like a happy cat

bell asks for help making people stop climbing her string, and snowball assures her he can do it, but he’ll have to climb her string to get to them

then like twenty people followed him up

when writing utensil characters use themselves to write with

sometimes they have tiny versions of themselves (sans limbs), but sometimes they just like, pull their caps off and write with their heads

(the same scream noise they use every time a group of people screams) “HONESTLY! (grabs a new can of fork repellent from hammerspace) are you guys going to scream like that EVERY time i use up a can?”

dodecadangit

OH THANKS AN OCTADECILLION, MATCH

they were basically playing hot potato where if you look at someone who was glowing you’d catch the glow, and most teams ended up just chilling with their eyes closed, but golf ball yelled “EVERYONE GET ON MY ROCKET” and she and her team just left earth entirely

this did not stop them from catching the glow

someone’s like “the communicator dish still works” and book goes “oh,” dips a chip into the communicator dish and splashes dip everywhere, “THATS what this is?”

the, like, five minute long end-credits scene of ice cube falling off a cliff eternally

pencil tells ruby which button to press and she keeps getting it wrong, partly because NEW BUTTONS KEEP APPEARING

the poison antidote that has the side effect of making the recipient eat one other contestant

pencil coaching her teammates on how to jump higher

“MMR? I love measles, mumps, and rubella!”

“golf ball knows how to do, like, everything!” (cut to golf ball) “i don’t know how to do, like, anything”

basketball invited 8 ball to be on her team cuz they’re both balls, then 8 ball said “sure, and let’s adopt these three” in reference to three other ball characters

loser said when he was younger he used to play with a toy that was apparently only just invented an hour ago, and everyone, like 60 characters, immediately disowned him and started a turf war over the situation

“black hole, you’re strong! open this jar for me!”

(as the world is literally ending) “FLOWER! WHATAVE YOU DONE??” “i got this jar open!!!”

whenever a host dies or is otherwise put out of commission and the contestants just keep trucking along until they remember no one can get the prize if the host isn’t around to give it to them

that time announcer used like ten negatives in a sentence

the way announcer says “wow!” with more emotion than anything else he says? idk if it’s intentional, or even a joke, but it’s the best thing

(slow mo) “i want to cry now, i really do”

“and i cry acid”

ruby died of sadness and book made it big by selling her remains

when they say some line that’s just regular words in a slightly unique way, and then the line gets repeated throughout the series

announcer accidentally-on-purpose got everyone killed, except david (who’s immune to bugs), and he had a david cloner, so he just went ahead and replaced everyone with davids in costumes

halfway through cake at stake, the original contestants show up unexpectedly and explain that they “faked their deaths! obviously.”

“ive decided to not cancel bfdi!” “aw, seriously?”

the noises david and dora make when they do things, like clattering, or sprouting leaves

bubble and match pretending to be trees

“NO BUBBLE! TREES DONT SAY THAT!” “OH, RIGHT! FSSHHHHHH! FWWWSHH!!!!”

when nickel and coiny get close together bad things happen

“how’s the tree-climbing going?” “it’s okay, but it’d be easier if you helped. (swoop) okay, just got to the top”

“yes! I am the first one up the tree!” “that’s NOT true, I was here FIRST”

i guess we’ll just have to use this trebuchet tennis ball built before he died

“wha! yhad this the HWOLE TIME, I DIDN EVEN HAVE TO CLIMB THE TREE?” “physical exertion builds character :)”

when everyone’s begging four to bring back their dead teammates, especially saw, who lost her entire team, and four is like okay I’ll bring back one (1) person, and saw very reverently starts to ask him for her dead team leader, but grassy says “tennis ball!” and four listens to him instead, and everyone immediately starts nagging four again to bring back more important people

leafy, about to melt ice cube down for metal scrap: “ice cube, come on down! you can be my alloy!”

they met a new character and they’re like “who is that?” and pie’s like “I dunno, try squishing it”

“theres another one? whoa! it totally has a different texture from the first one!”

8 ball beginning every single statement with things like “although I don’t have a favorite number...”

“I do this!” (grabs pin and turns her, screaming, into a squiggly pile of lines) “pretty cool, dontcha think?”

“can,,,, you bring her back?” “no” (five seconds later) “HEY CHECK THIS OUT! (brings back pin)”

pen high fived black hole and his arm spaghettified

“what are you doing?” “im going to die!” “hi needle! he’s not going to die.”

iance was trying to dig their way up out of the ground but they couldnt because golf ball kept blocking them from the surface

“maybe theyre trying to communicate with me?” “yeah they’re telling you to stop”

“they raise a very convincing argument. BUT IT’S NOT ENOUGH!” “OH what a pain!!”

she accurately guessed the fact that there was a group of people underground running from some lava who “clearly value avoiding [golf ball] more than their own safety”

“ohhhh so THIS is golf balls idea of fun!” “(sigh)... yep”

they looked through a camera and couldn’t see donut (the zoom wasn’t adjusted) and marker went “donut’s a vampire too?”

too???

“meh, I’ve still got other evidence”

one time the eliminated contestants got to vote who to eliminate and snowball was like “ice cube, cuz it’s really hot in the TLC and I can’t be the only one cooling it off”

like four other people were like “oh man he’s right” and did the same thing

“wouldn’t it be cool if the last word of the last episode was the same as the first word of the first episode?” “yeah :)”

“take. a deep breath. you know. A DEEP FRIED BREATH”

at the end of the episode he shows up with some boiling oil and is like “LIKE THIS! ONE, (sizzling and screaming noises)” “COINY NO”

leafy was about to throw a knife at them but watched this happen offscreen with horror and then left them alone

david’s human, and that’s just weird

“im still mad you killed bubble” “youre one to talk, you were about to impale TWO WHOLE teams” “yeah, but bubble’s life? is special”

pen’s like “okay we three need to stick together while we’re picking teams!” but then eraser hears some other team has free food, so he runs off and pen very flatly goes “okay, we lost eraser.”

“well let’s not pick pen, he’s still two hundred bigintillion dollars in debt” which is mostly hilarious without the first three seasons of context, but even with context it’s hilarious. he looks so shamefaced when they say it too. i love pen

once someone finally picks him he IMMEDIATELY perks up and takes charge

the hphprcc went into self destruct mode and everyone started frantically trying to figure out what to do, and book’s like “okay it’ll either just disappear without a trace, or blow up and kill us all, 50/50 chance” and then of course, it exploded, and ruby started screaming, and then book was like “ruby, stop hallucinating! see? it just disappeared, without a trace!”

“YOuuOURE HalLUCINAATING!!” “DON’T do that!! it is K-R-E-P!”

pin tried to knock everyone off the eiffel tower by shaking it and book was like “who does she think she’s kidding? it’s the eiffel tower we won’t fall off”

“name ONE! name ONE friend you haven’t gotten extremely angry at!” “thats not fair,! there isnt even any of them!”

8ball was saying the opposite of everything golf ball was saying, up to and including calling the members of their team, a better name that that, “worse namers”

“is this because i killed you last episode?” “what?? no, i dont care about that!”

“life is CHEAP! get me a BANANA!!!”

flower bit off half of announcer’s head and he couldn’t make the K sound anymore

“have this -ashew” “bless you”

“no i said -ashew. -ashew. -ashew. -ashew.” “wow you must be allergic to something”

“maybe announcer’s allergic to this cashew? here bubble, you can have it!”

pencil won the staring contest because david’s allergic to sunrises

freesmart was making video diaries during the three year hiatus, but apparently did absolutely no editing or even rewatching of the videos, because they found out three years too late that ruby left the lens cap on every time she used the camera

when four played the cake at stake song in the classroom he played it on a low-quality portable tv instead of cutting to a fullscreen video

“iknowafasterway!” “NORUBYYOULLDIE!”

pin said she didnt want to halve the votes she got because she hadnt done anything that would make people want to vote for her, and it immediately cut to a series of old scenes of her throwing people under the metaphorical bus

literally nothing is funnier than “i mean, i havent done anything to make people vote for me” (cut to flashback) “there’s too much weight on this sinking ship!!! we need to throw someone OVERBOARD!!!!”

one team got stuck doing their nine-piece puzzle for a MONTH because all the pieces were the same dark brown color

the pieces were upside down

a month

“the finish line! it’s only twenty or so yards away!”

two people talking and using the word “needy” twice and pausing to throw their hands up protectively and go “HNnnnynGH”

“why do i have filling, but also a hole?” - donuts diary

in 5b theyre talking to some npcs and theyre like “well dont hurt us, because we just got finished being punished in lego brick’s dungeon” and the npcs were like “oh yeah he does that. he’s a great guy, but he does that.”

also in 5b when book met lego brick the FIRST thing she asked is if he’s “safe to look at” which,???

they did a trivia contest and multiple questions were in complete gibberish

presumably this is an actual language in canon since like three other people answered correctly, also in gibberish, but still

“you’ve got this, bubble, you’re great at mental contests” “question one: ooba grooba, grooba shmooba?” “HUH?”

“but tennis ball -- oh... tennis ball....--”

team naming, especially in season four

“we’re not ALL in the alliance!” “well, if you take ‘the all’ out of the alliance, you get...”

“and what is your name?” (everyone says their own actual names at once)

ice cube is not on team ice cube

Death Prevention And Creating Trust

“let’s be called The Losers!” “awww! you didn’t have to”

wheel ooze a hole bunch. WOAH bunch!

“but then it sounds like youre saying free-DUMB!” “and we are so like totally not dumb!”

when the losers decided to use iance’s idea to win the swing contest and it was styled like an overenthusiastic science video

“WHOA!!! iance just had a RADICAL idea!!!”

“TREASON! TREASON! TREASON!” “im in what?”

“seriously why are so many people drowning? it’s not even quicksand, or anything” - announcer, responding to five people drowning in a basket of bread

they were whispering with “susuusus” noises and cloudy whispered “zuzuzuzzuz”

the spaceship with the sign that says “this spaceship runs on big squishy contestants” or whatever and after the credits it slowly flips over to say “this spaceship runs on VOTERS”

“stop shooting at me!” “no way! i got these cannonballs on sale and IM GONNA GET MY MONEYS WORTH!!!”

eggy and cake’s argument over who has a deeper spiritual connection with loser

“my connection is so strong that when i crack, i bleed loser’s COLOR”

playing catch with a star they plucked out of the big dipper, and leafy’s horror over it

adding “ey” to people’s names (personal favorites are announcery, fourty-four, flowey, treey, and belly)

blueberries are EXPLOSIVE, including the ones inside pie, so sometimes she just explodes

“but over a year ago, four said you dont need frills to make a feast for the eyes, so that means hes okay with trash!”

the anti-advertisements advertisement!

four ate a whole team and they just sort of stood around inside him sticking their arms out his mouth and laughing hysterically

“again! again again again !!!!”

“we could be leaving!” “yeah, but when’s the last time you saw remote this happy? this is good for her!”

book, three episodes into season 3: hey, what is it we’re even battling for?

(iconic voice): dwream island,??

when they had a beauty contest and firey speaker box and flower speaker box just immediately chose firey and flower to be the winners without a second’s hesitation

“book! come help us catch a criminal!” “no thanks, im good!”

donut tried to punish people for getting the wrong answers when he was hosting, but it turns out a recording of four screeching doesn’t work... quite as well as the real deal

four zapping gelatin

ok ok ok this is insanely long but please add more if u have any favorites i missed

#honorable mention is 'pen island all caps no spaces'#its so stupid and i lose it every single time #and the reanimated 1a and 1b map when leafy icy and coiny were on their boat and inexplicably dressed as pirates #its the CUTEST Thing and i think about it a lot #bfdi #long post #o

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heuristicallyinclined · 4 years

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MallekWeek2020 Writing Prompts

Chapter 6: Day 6: MSPA Reader meeting trickster!Mallek for the first time

(AO3)

Summary: First time as in first meeting? Or first time as a trickster? Why not both?

Notes: One more day. God I don't know how this got done. This was very fun to write though.

God fucking damn it Mallek.

Play a game he said. You’ll have fun and make new friends he said. You’ll eventually meet them in person through a series of convoluted time paradoxes that simultaneously have and have not happened yet he said. It will be all good he said.

You know what he didn’t fucking say?

That at one point, he would turn into some candy coated asshole who would be terrorizing you the first time you ever met in person.

You knew that he was an “information specialist” and just generally enjoyed getting into shit he shouldn’t. And it was fine, he was having fun, you were having fun, doomed timelines were being averted. Future him would talk to current you and give you advice to repay future you for helping past him. You know, things that don’t really make sense, but your pursuit of friendship has barely even ever led you astray, so why worry about it?

He even told you that when your sessions merged that you two would finally meet. He said that your present selves were about to meet and be experiencing the same time for the first time and you were so pumped to meet him in person. Apparently, the future two of you were chilling and hanging out together in the future while pinging past each others’ past selves and it sounded so nice. Just some friends helping each other become friends so that you could become friends and ensure that you became friends in the first place.

That was the last you heard from future Mallek and you didn’t know if he didn’t tell you this because telling you would change your reactions and alter the timeline or if shit had just gone entirely off of the rails in this one.

You were finally able to reach current Mallek on your palmhusk and you knew you were excited to see him, as well as the rest of your friends too. He was excited too since he liked future you and figured present you would be pretty chill too. You hoped he would. You knew he would, since all of what hasn’t happened has happened already has so things will be fine.

It was as things were about to coalesce that he said he thought he found something that would help with the game. That he poured through the code and that he thought he found a cheat that would help create a tool you guys could use to win. And maybe this was partially your fault for encouraging him, but you’re just an encouraging person in general and want your friends to do well. Especially when they are doing something that sounds cool and that they are passionate about, like hacking. You thought it would be beneficial to everybody. So you did.

You were starting to regret that.

He said he was going to go alchemize it and would be over to see you in a bit and for you to hang out right where you were. You were excited to see whatever mystery hack this was. Then things just felt different. Like someone opened a pixy stick too close to you and you felt like you had to sneeze everything just smelled like sugar and kind of burned.

You heard him before you saw him.

“SUP;”

You turned around and immediately squinted trying to shield your eyes from whatever that was. It wasn’t a bright light, it was just this nauseous burst of color and it just looked wrong. Everything clashed together in a way that simultaneously called attention to him and made you want to look away. Looking at him too long gave you a headache and you could have sworn that he didn’t have firm edges, that he was just, almost glitching?

“IT = GREAT TO FINALLY MEET YOU BUD;”

Oh hell no. This was not Mallek. You had seen his profile picture and this was not that. Like this dude looked like Lisa Frank personally beat his ass. Also, what is his volume? You could barely hear your own panicked thoughts. Maybe you could get him to calm down?

You hesitantly greet him and ask if he is feeling okay. He sounded a lot more mellow on Grype and you wanted to know if something happened while he was trying to make the tool.

“I = AM DOING GREAT; I HACKED THE GAME; AND EVERYTHING = GOING TO BE OKAY NOW;”

He sounded manic, like he could barely contain himself and you notice he was holding a massive swirly lollipop. This couldn’t be the tool, this was a joke. This has to be a joke. It is a joke that is super not funny to you and you start stepping away slowly from him. He floated towards you, seemingly unaware of your fear.

“AW; WE = ALREADY FRIENDS; YOU =! NEED TO BE SHY; I = SO EXCITED TO MEET YOU;”

You let him know that you were happy to see him too, but maybe you two should hold off on talking until he was feeling better.

“WHAT; I = SO MUCH BETTER NOW; I USED TO BE FREAKING OUT ABOUT MY ORDEALS; THEN I WAS STRESSED ABOUT THE GAME; AND THIS SWEET CHEAT SOLVED EVERYTHING;”

Oh wow. Yeah. You are glad he is feeling better. He did a good amount of that too, it didn’t do everything. Like he helped turn it into an executable file in the first place and he had even opened up about his anxieties to you. He shouldn't give it all the credit. You were all just friends helping friends. And maybe he should put that down and take a deep breath.

“YOU = ALWAYS BEEN REALLY HELPFUL FRIEND; WE GOT THE GAME BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME WHERE IT WAS; AND WE HAVE THIS BECAUSE I FOUND IT; NOW I = PUMPED THAT I CAN HELP YOU;”

Oh he really doesn’t have to do that, you are good. You didn’t do it for a reward you just wanted to hang out with your friends and be happy and you two were already doing that so really there is no need t-

“BUT YOU DID THIS BECAUSE YOU WERE LONELY; YOU WERENT HAPPY;”

He is floating closer to you and you try to say you were happy now. You don’t have to bring that up.

He is now on the ground slowly walking towards you and this was somehow the most scared you had ever been in the game.

“DONT YOU WANT TO ALWAYS BE HAPPY; DONT YOU THINK IT WOULD COOL TO NOT WORRY ANYMORE ABOUT ANYTHING”

No, you think that not being happy all the time makes it easier to relate to others having a hard time. Like using candy to pretend that nothing is wrong.

“I WAS NOT HAPPY SINCE I DIDNT HAVE ANY CONTROL OF MY LIFE ON ALTERNIA; YOU GOT ME OUT; NOW WITH THIS I = COMPLETELY IN CONTROL; I OWN THE GAME; I CAN DO WHAT I WANT WHENEVER I WANT TO; YOU CAN TOO;”

He didn’t look like a guy like a guy in control. It seemed like he got worried he was going to lose control again and did something maybe not smart. You know how much he likes being able to do his own thing and you could understand

“DONT BE LAME; THIS = SO MUCH BETTER THAN BEING STRESSED ALL THE TIME; PLUS WITH THIS YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TOO; WERE BUDS; I WANT YOU TO GET IN ON THIS WITH ME;”

What you really want is for him to back the fuck up because he is really getting in your personal space and you’re getting super uncomfortable.

“COME ON; BE HAPPY WITH ME;”

Whoa, wait, what?

“I ALREADY DID ALL OF THE CODING; AND I != HAVE ANY FUTURE KNOWLEDGE TO HELP YOU WITH ANYMORE; WITH THIS WE CAN STILL HANG OUT;”

You didn’t talk to him just because you thought he was useful, you already liked him. He doesn’t need to do shit like this for you to want to hang out with him.

This was apparently the wrong thing to say, as it somehow made his already huge grin impossibly wider. Yeah, you weren’t getting out of this one.

Before your sugar rush started, your last coherent thought was that you wondered if this happening is dooming the timeline, or ensuring its’ success.

Notes: Okay so, trickster mode gives a megaphone to your impulses and fears so for this I theorized that in a game, he might need to feel useful. With all of MSPA's other cool friends, he might be anxious that if he isn't bringing anything to the table anymore, why see him? Also, finding a game breaking power up for someone who is desperate for control? Yeah. Not great.

#mallekweek #mallekweek2020 #mallek adalov #my writing #homestuck #hiveswap

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schoolofmaaa · 5 years

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Yining Shi on Approaching Technology Creatively, Accessible Tech and Educational Tools

This week we spoke to Yining Shi, one of our main instructors for the Bots & Machine Learning program taking place this July in Berlin. In this interview, Yining reflects on her trajectory, the importance of educational tools, <a hotpot interlude> and what we can expect this summer.

Tell us a bit about yourself Yining, what brought you to where you are now?

Well, I did my undergrad in Electrical Engineering and Computer Science and my Masters at NYU’s Interactive Telecommunications Program, where I mostly focus on creative coding and machine learning. I like building tools to craft a better learning experience for people. I like solving complicated engineering problems to enable creative outputs. I also like the idea of making complex concepts and technology more approachable for beginners. Currently, I’m an adjunct professor at NYU where I teach a class called Machine Learning for the Web. I also work at Sourcemap as a senior software engineer.

“I also like the idea of making complex concepts and technology more approachable for beginners”.

Where are you currently based?

In Brooklyn, New York City.

I see some of your works are based on data, physical computing, and fabrication. What are some of the overarching themes in your work? What intrigues you?

Even though these projects use different technology, they are mostly based on the idea of visualizing data to express ourselves in a creative way. What intrigues me is exploring millions of different media to express our ideas. I’m always curious about new technologies and new experiences.

For example, Friendship.am is an expression of my digital persona that visualizes 10,000 of my messages. Every circle represents one message, and they are arranged around a clock. The size of each circle depends on the length of the message. I also color-coded keywords in every message. For example, ‘What are you doing?’ is blue, and ‘haha’ is green. This was an abstract visual portrait of my digital communication habits and by looking at what messages I sent, when I sent them, and how they change over time, I got a lot of insights about my digital persona that I was previously unaware of. And so I also became very interested in personal data and how can I make them more meaningful in people’s everyday lives.

In Friendship.am, each circle represents one messages arranged around the clock by the time it was sent.

Color-coded personal messages.

Puppy lamp is another example. It’s a playful experience that allows friends to express themselves in a new way. It is a digital interaction designed to work with a physical object. People can use the app to send color and text message to their friends and light up their friends’ Puppy Lamp. It is a way to express feelings to your friends with colors, lights and environmental ambience.

Puppy Lamp

Can you tell us a bit more about p5.playground, and your interest in building educational tools?

p5.playground is my thesis at ITP, NYU. It’s an interactive programming tool for designers and beginners to understand drawing functions in p5.js.

It has two modes, live coding mode (when you change the code, the sketch will be updated in real time) and the playground code, when you manipulate the shapes on the canvas like you do in photoshop or illustrator, the code will be automatically updated.

If you move and resize the shapes on the canvas, the code that generates the shapes will be automatically updated.

I remember at the first class of Intro to Computational Media(ICM) at ITP, we learned how to use Processing to draw shapes. I noticed that some people who were new to programming found it hard to draw complex shapes with code. After talking to them, I realized that it was because people might have difficulty understanding the coordinate systems: where is the origin, x,y axis.

p5 playground tries to use this WYSIWYG (What you see is what you get) interface to reinforce a cognitive link between the code and the shapes on the canvas. Now, p5.playground is used as a learning tool in the ICM class at ITP to help students understand how to draw shapes with code.

I love building educational tools because I really like the idea of making complicated concepts and technology more approachable to everyone who is interested in learning it. Not everyone needs to become an engineer when they grow up, but if anyone who wants to learn about a kind of technology should be able to learn it easily without any struggle.

Technology is everywhere in our life, and problem-solving skills are important to us. I want to make the learning experience a little easier for people, especially students who don’t have access to a lot of educational resource. I also enjoy the moments when people have told me that the tool is helpful to them or they made some projects using this tool. That’s the biggest reward moment for me.

“Not everyone needs to become a engineer when they grow up, but if anyone who wants to learn about a kind of technology, they should be able to learn it easily without any struggle”.

You are currently teaching Machine Learning for the Web at NYU, what are the topics which you most enjoy teaching?

Machine Learning for the Web is a class about using ml5.js and tensorflow.js to create interactive web applications. It starts with running pre-trained models and re-training models in the browser using high-level APIs from ml5.js, as well as explore the Layer APIs from TensorFlow.js to create models from scratch using custom data.

I really like teaching week 3: Build your own CNN model with tf.js. We start with using a pre-trained DoodleNet model to classify 345 doodle classes, and use transfer learning to customize our own classes, then we use tensorflow.js’s layer API to build our own model and train it in the browser. I also like teaching Style transfer and Pix2pix.

Train a doodle classifier in the browser with tf.js

Now, a more human-oriented question! What is your all time favourite meal?

It has to be Sichuan chinese food. My favorite is a kind of dish called hotpot. This is the hotpot my mom made.

How do you express yourself creatively through code?

Most of my recent projects have been all about using Machine Learning models to make some creative and interactive applications in the browsers.

Style transfer with ml5 is an interactive demo of style transfer, where it can recast the content of one image in the style of another image. people can either use the webcam, or upload an image, and choose a style from the artwork, and it will generate a new image with the style they chose. See live demo here.

Pix2pix Edges2Pikachu is an interactive drawing tool that automatically colors your Pikachu drawings in real time. It’s built with tensorflow.js. You can play with the live demo here.

KNN Image Classifier with ml5 is a an interactive demo that can recognize customized classes through webcam. For example, it can recognize rock, paper and scissors from your webcam.

DoodleNet is one of my most recent project. It can recognize your drawings. It’s trained on all 345 categories from Quickdraw dataset, 50000 images per class. You can play with live demo here.

You published Jumpstarting the Arduino 101, what do you like about this tool?

My journey with machine learning started with this book. It’s a book that helps you create projects with Arduino 101 using pattern matching & neural networks via the Web Bluetooth API.

It includes 4 projects, each project builds upon the concepts of the previous one. The last project is a gesture recognition media controller.

For example, people can train a complex gesture to start the music, and then train another gesture to stop the music. This is designed to be a starter example, which people can extend and make their own versions of it.

Gesture recognition media controller, define any gestures to play/pause music.

Use Arduino 101 to control a heart in a webpage through bluetooth.

I really like Arduino 101 because for a board that cost $30, it offered a lot of features out of the box like Bluetooth LE and motion sensing, but my personal favorite feature was that the board had a dedicated machine learning chip and came with an open-source pattern matching library. Machine learning can be a classic example of a topic that sounds intimidating, but the ease with which beginners could do complex pattern matching and gesture recognition projects with this board demonstrated the effect accessibility has over learning.

Can we talk a bit about Bots & Machine Learning? What will you be teaching us here in Berlin and what do you hope students will get out of the program?

Yes! I’m very excited about teaching this course with Matthew Plummer Fernandez!

We will talk about common and popular machine learning models, how they work, how to train these models, and their use cases in creative projects. The output of the class will be interactive ML applications.

The topics that will be covered are Image/Sound/Doodle Classification, Face/Pose Recognition, Image Style Transfer, pix2pix Image Transformation, and Image Synthesis. The techniques and neural networks we will use and build are Transfer Learning, Convolutional Neural Network, Generative Adversarial Network and more. We will use tools and frameworks like Runway, tensorflow.js, ml5.js and tensorflow.

I really look forward to meeting you in Berlin, explore all the ML models and technique, and build creative projects together!

What is the change you want to see in the world?

One thing that I really want to see is more people getting having easier access to education. There are a lot of facets to make this change but what I like focusing on is to make the process of learning new things more enjoyable and fascinating. I’d love to create more educational content and help beginners to learn. I am hoping to make more video tutorials about programming that people from any part of the world could watch and build their own projects based on the examples from the video.

Yining teaches in Bots and ML program, 1. - 26. July. Apply here: http://schoolofma.org/bots/

#interactive coding machinelearning ML neuralnets ml5 js bots education learningtools

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maevefiction · 5 years

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Your Light in the Mist - Chapter 39

I dumped my bag and the baked goods on the counter, then leaned back against it.

“He never joins your family for the holidays? But this year…he IS? Did someone tell him that you all know what he did? What the actual fuck, man?”

He shook his head. “Em and Sarah insist they haven’t said a word, and I sure as hell haven’t, and I don’t think Mum has…so we’re all completely blown out of the water by this. He called Mum earlier and essentially said ‘I’ve decided to join you Thursday and Friday’ and that was that. After the divorce, he showed up two years running, but once Em was ten he decided that his presence was no longer necessary because Christmas was for children and surely she’d grown past such foolishness by then. He never even bothered to show up last year, when Sarah and Ansh were finally able to join us at Christmas for the first time since having Saachi.”

I crossed my arms. “So, he doesn’t turn up for a first Christmas with his only grandchild but this year, he does? Is it because she’s a little older, maybe? Eh, that sounds ridiculous so I’ll say that is totally not the reason. What’s your take on this? Any ideas?”

His gaze fell to the floor, then returned to my face. I didn’t wait for him to speak.

“Oh for fuck’s sake you think it’s me, don’t you?” My arms uncrossed, one hand rising to my forehead and resting there, palm down. “But WHY? Why does he give even the remotest shit about you and I, if he hasn’t cared about anything else…OH MY FUCKING GOD, IT IS ME, isn’t it? Jesus…listen, babe, if you want me to sit this one out…”

Closing the distance between us, he took me in his arms, resting his chin on the top of my head. “Not. A. Chance. If you don’t feel comfortable going, I’m staying right here with you.” He leaned back, staring into my eyes. “And yes, I do think it’s related to you in some way. I just can’t quite figure out how or why.”

“Is that what your mother thinks? Is that who you were talking to?”

His head shook again. “No, that’s not what she thinks…I was talking to her and my sisters on a conference call. None of them know what to think. They’re just trying to figure out how to flow with it and not let it ruin the holiday. Which is a challenge and a half, after this past summer.”

I released him and grabbed the bakery bag from behind me. “Let’s have some cookies and put on our thinking caps and try and puzzle this out.”

A dozen over-sized chocolate chip delights and an hour later, we were no closer to solving the equation, likely because, as Tony Stark explained in the Avengers, we didn’t have all the variables.

Tom’s head was in his hands, elbows on the dining table amongst the crumby mess we’d made, and he spoke without looking up. “Bottom line is no matter what the man throws at you, IF he throws anything at you, that is…I know you can handle it, Maude. You on your weakest day is a thousand times more powerful than him on his strongest.”

As he glanced through his fingers at me, across the table, I raised a brow. “Uh, a thousand? Hyperbolize much, Tom?”

He sat up, smiling. “I do not. You simply underestimate your strength, my love.”

I rolled my eyes. “Puh-leaze. Stop it. Honestly, it’s all totally confusing and makes no sense and I’m slamming myself up against a logic wall at this point. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see. Which, as you know, fucking drives me bat crap crazy so…feel like going out for some burgers and wrapping supplies?”

Standing, he stretched, arms up toward the ceiling, his lower belly and happy trail peeking at me yet again. It was a view I would never tire of, for sure. When my eyes made their way up to his face, he was grinning. Caught, I was…red handed. Eyed? Something.

“That sounds perfect, actually. I’ll go put some pants on.”

I bit my lip. “Good. You do that. I’m going to use the facilities.” His mouth opened, but I cut him off. “I’m PEEING. Nothing else, you bastard. I am capable of restraint, you know.” A chuckle. “Oh, MAN…”

He jogged up the stairs, and shortly thereafter we were out the door and on our way.

****************************************

My alarm went off at six AM on Wednesday, and I left Tom all warm and naked in our bed to grab a cheese danish and a cup of tea before heading downstairs. I’d wrapped my gifts for him last night, having locked myself in the over-crowded spare room. At points I could hear him breathing heavily outside the door, and knew he was doing it on purpose to distract me in hopes of getting a look at what I’d gotten for him. He gave up after three attempts, and I was able to continue in peace. Diana had come to my aid, providing me with a list of all she could recall of the Jurassic Park toys Tom had played with as a child. One by one I’d tracked them down on eBay and had them sent to the office, and Simon had hidden them for me in our flat while we’d been gone. I’d even managed to score the rare Electronic T-Rex, Jungle Explorer Vehicle and the Command Compound, new and sealed in their boxes. The action figures weren’t quite as hard to find, and I’d gotten a set that included five of the main characters still in their original packaging. In addition to those, as a sort of gag-but-not-really gift, I’d found a very cool strap-on set that included six dildos, sized from kinda small to bigger than Tom’s own cock. THAT one I put off to the side so I wouldn’t accidentally bring it with us to Diana’s house…plus, I was hoping he would want to try it out, like, immediately after opening it. Part of me wanted to save it for Loki’s next visit, but I’d been thinking about it for months, and he’d mentioned it several times, so, no time like the present, right? The pièce de résistance was obtained via the most convoluted network of human beings I’d ever had to wrangle, a daisy chain that included Stephen Spielberg which had started with me and ended with Harrison Ford writing a letter and signing one of the fedoras he’d worn in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. The only downside was that I was aware that it was likely a feat I would never, ever be able to top.

The shipment arrived as scheduled, eight AM on the dot, and the driver even schlepped it all downstairs for us. Everything had been prepped and ready to go, so Trudy and I set about getting all the servers in place so they’d be ready to connect once the utility company was done installing the T1 line…they’d turned up just after we’d opened the cartons. Everyone else was off for the day, so we cranked some tunes while we set up the network itself and installed all the software. As soon as our internet was accessible, we updated the newly-installed software, then began adding our own. Trudy and I had written the client management program together, though the base code was hers alone. It had functioned perfectly during previous testing, so we focused mainly on it running cross network and left it at that. Tom brought us lunch at around two, and after our break we dove into external DNS access, connectivity and security protocols. It was the most time-consuming and intricate part of the process, but by midnight we had a functional, locked down system that was ready for intensive testing, which was set to begin first thing Monday morning. From the look on Trudy’s face, though, I was reasonably sure that she’d be at it over the weekend if she got the chance. The only other remaining obstacle, other than testing, was the installation of security devices and alarms, and the company providing us with those was scheduled to come in on Tuesday. We celebrated our victory by inhaling an entire bag of truffles, high fiving each other and bragging about how we’d accomplished in a single day what Mark hadn’t been able to achieve in months. It was just after one AM when I dragged myself upstairs, then up the flat’s steps, stripped, and crawled in next to a slumbering Tom…and I would have thought he’d remained there for the entire day if it weren’t for the fact that he’d brought Trudy and I lunch.

Thursday afternoon found us on the road, quickly nearing Oxford, gifts tucked into the trunk of the Jaguar, our season’s greetings having been exchanged with Luke and Simon right before we’d left. They were spending the holiday with Luke’s parents, and Roland would be joining them for Boxing Day. U2 performing Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) was on the radio, and I was watching Tom’s hands as he manipulated the steering wheel. An elegant man guiding an elegant machine. The brief feeling of positivity about the holiday I’d experienced on Tuesday had faded after the whole ‘dad’s coming’ thing, and I really, really felt like asking him to turn around so we could go back home and have our own private, peaceful Christmas….but I knew he’d say yes, and I didn’t want to be the one responsible for him missing out on time with his family, which, in spite of all the insanity, had always been precious to him, even more so since he’d started travelling for his career.

He turned to me, smiling. “All set for your first holiday with the future in-laws?”

“Sure. Yep. You betcha.”

His right hand left the wheel and pressed gently into my thigh. “I’m sorry it’s gone a bit off the rails, my love.”

I snorted. “When we write our joint biography, that’s SO going to be the title.”

“Oh, I like that. Fitting.”

“Unlike this damn bra.” I reached down the V-neck of my blood-red sweater and shifted my boobs back into place. The color was the closest I could force myself to come to being festively dressed, whereas Tom was wearing a bright green monstrosity that his mother had given him last Christmas. Apparently, that was her thing…new holiday sweaters for everyone each year. Shaking my head, I reminded myself to be grateful that it wasn’t one of the infamous UGLY Christmas style sweaters, and also that I needed to say a hearty thank you and pretend to like the one that was surely lying in wait for me to open tomorrow. I heard a car horn honk, and realized that Tom had drifted off to the side of the road because he was staring at my tits. “Dude. Eyes on the road. EYES ON THE ROAD.”

“I know, I know. Sorry. But surely you can’t expect me to look away when you’re fiddling with them so artistically and they’re shifting around with such buoyance like…like…”

“Like, boobs?”

He nodded. “Yes. Boobs. Do shut up now, Maude. Safety first, you know.”

“Oh, safety…speaking of, you know this seat belt really rubs against them something fierce…”

“Behave, lest Father Christmas decides you belong on the naughty list after all.”

I sighed in mock exasperation. “You are really, really mean, you know? But let’s be real, I’ve GOT to be on that naughty list already because what I bought YOU is…”

“NO SPOILERS. WE AGREED NO SPOILERS.”

“But it’s…”

“My lord, woman, NO. NO NO NO NO NO.”

I chuckled, then reached over to rest my hand on the nape of his neck, rubbing gently with my thumb. “No spoilers, babe. I promise.” He moaned quietly as I pressed harder. “How are you coping with this? It’s all strange and new for me, but you’re used to it being a certain way. You okay?”

His right hand returned to my thigh as he turned onto the street that would take us to his childhood home. “You’re right, I am accustomed to the holidays being as they’ve always been since he stopped coming, and if I’m honest, it’s been vastly better that way. But it is what it is, and I’m just going to focus on the fact that it’s our first Christmas together and…well…fuck everything else.”

“Fuck everything else. Couldn’t have said it better myself.”

He grinned, rotating the wheel to the right as he pulled into the driveway, two other cars already neatly parked in front of the garage. “No, you couldn’t have…because it’s essentially the exact phrasing you would have chosen, is it not?”

“You are correct, sir. Did you perchance buy me a thesaurus for Christmas so I can expand my vocabulary?”

He put the car in park, leaned over and bit my neck. “I did no such thing. I happen to both admire and adore your vocabulary. Especially your habitual overuse of things like ‘oh yes’ and ‘oh god’ and ‘fuck me’.”

I bit my bottom lip and smiled, left brow raised. “I love you, you ridiculously horny dork.”

He laughed and pinched my cheek. “Lobbing that right back at you.”

We were grabbing our first load of stuff from the trunk when the yelling started. It was faint at first, and high pitched, and then I saw an adorable tiny human running towards us.

“Uncle Tommy! Happy Christmas! Happy Christmas!”

She was gorgeous, big dark eyes, dark brown hair, two shoulder-length braids bouncing and flying out behind her as she drew closer. I knew she was four, and thought she was probably of average height for that age, but in truth I had no fucking idea because children were like creatures from another planet to me. The way Tom squatted down to catch her in his arms then lifted her up, first spinning her, then popping her onto his shoulders and running a few laps around the driveway as he screamed ‘yay’ right along with her made my heart melt, and when I imagined him doing the same thing with our own child, I found it hard to breathe. Tom ran back to me, Saachi still on his shoulders, both of them grinning like fools. An unfamiliar voice caused me to inhale sharply, and I saw a woman approaching us quickly. She was about my height, though I was wearing my Diva Darcies so that stacked the deck a bit, slender, bearing a strong resemblance to Tom but with a different nose, a good amount of visible freckles across her cheeks and strawberry-blonde hair. I’d only seen her in pictures until this moment, and her hair had been much longer, down to her waist, as opposed to the chin-length bob she was sporting was now…but there was no doubt it was Sarah.

“Saachi, what did we decide? We decided that we’d wait for Uncle Tom and Aunt Maude to come INSIDE before throwing ourselves at them, did we not?”

Aunt Maude. Not helping with the breathing difficulties. Sarah strode toward me first, arms wide open, wrapping me in a snug embrace that I was barely able to return. She pulled back, hands grasping my forearms as she looked me up and down, smiling beatifically.

“Maude, it’s so nice to finally meet you. I’d like to formally welcome you to the insanity that is every single Hiddleston holiday. And pretty much every Hiddleston gathering, come to think of it.” Her hands slid down to hold mine, lifting the left one up to examine my ring. “My word, this is so unique and stunningly elegant.” She released me as she turned to Tom. “Well done, little brother. Saachi, have you said hello to Aunt Maude yet?”

Saachi shook her head, and Tom lifted her off his shoulders and placed her gently on the ground. She held out one tiny hand, looking up at my shyly. “Hello, Auntie Maude. ‘S nice to meet you.”

I leaned down and took her hand in mine, shaking very gently, terrified that I’d somehow break her. “Hi Saachi. It’s nice to meet you too.”

She paused, glancing down at my feet then back up at my face, nodding, still holding my hand. “I like your shoes. Come inside and help us decorate the tree. Grandma has lots of pretty things we have to hang today so Father Christmas will come tonight.”

And with that, I was led up the driveway by the adorable tiny human, her mother and uncle following behind me, both giggling, their arms around each other’s waists.

An incredibly handsome man with dark hair to his shoulders and nearly-black eyes was waiting in the doorway. He squatted down, hands on the knees of his jeans. “Well, my Saachi, I see you’ve brought us a new friend. Thank you.” He ruffled her hair as he stood, then extended his hand toward me. “Hello, Maude. I’m Ansh, but you likely knew that already. Lovely to meet you.”

We shook briefly, as Saachi was tugging on my other hand. “Good to meet you as well, Ansh. I’d stay and chat but I think someone has other plans…”

He laughed. “She always has some sort of plan. Gets that from her mother.”

Sarah and Tom had caught up to us, and she reached out and slugged Ansh in the shoulder. “If I didn’t always have a plan, where would you be, Ansh? Back home, that’s where. At the airport, eight hours late.”

He kissed her cheek. “You speak the truth, my love. I am grateful for your plans. Unquestionably.”

She chuckled, and they led the way into the living room. Saachi pulled me forward, and Tom took hold of my other hand. The staircase had been done up with fresh pine garland and white lights, and the tree was directly ahead, at the front-facing portion of the living/drawing room. It had white lights as well, and plastic tubs full of decorations were scattered around it, and on the closest couch as well. Diana was bent over one of the tubs, Emma was holding another and rummaging through it, and behind her was David, her fiancé. She’d shown me pictures of him on her phone, and I hadn’t thought he’d be so tall…same height as Tom, stockier build, and an honest-to-goodness genuine ginger with green eyes. He’d taken a single step toward me when Diana and Em noticed we’d arrived, both rushing ahead of David to dole out hugs. Diana reached me first, and Saachi let go of my hand in order to move out of the way, skipping over to stand at her mother’s side.

“Maude! Welcome, welcome! I’m so glad you came.” She squeezed me, then kissed my cheeks. “You look beautiful in that color. How are you? How’s your new project coming along?” Laughing and shaking her head, she released me. “You can answer over dinner…I’m sure you and Tom want to finish unloading the car and getting everything up to your room. Same as last time for you both so you have your own bath. Sarah and Ansh are in my room, Em and Dave are in Sarah’s old room, James will be in Em’s old room, and I’m in Tom’s.”

I could feel my eyes widen, remembering what havoc we’d wreaked on Tom’s bed during our last visit. “You know, we’d be just fine in Tom’s room…”

Diana grinned slyly. “No, no, it’s all right. I’ll be perfectly comfortable in the new double I had put in last week. Long overdue, truthfully. That old single had seen far better days.” She winked at me, and I tried to not die on the spot as she switched places with Em, who stared at my rapidly reddening cheeks, then giggled as she embraced me, whispering in my ear.

“Never underestimate Mum’s ability to find things out, Maude. She’s like Sherlock, but…worse.”

We released each other, my neck and chest now flushed as well. “Oh. My. God. Sooo…does EVERYONE know we broke the bed? Distant relatives? Friends from work? Random strangers? Should I start wearing a ski mask when I’m out in public?”

Em doubled over, laughing. “Oh, Maude…you are hilarious.”

Tom and Diana had separated, her attention diverted to Saachi, who was peeking out from behind Diana’s legs and waving at me. I waved back, feeling Tom’s hand come to rest on my lower back.

“What’s hilarious, Em?”

She pointed at me, trying to compose herself and failing. “Her. Ask her. I can’t.”

And with that I grabbed Tom, pulling him back toward the door. “Let’s get the rest of the stuff now, m’kay?”

As soon as we were outside he turned his head in my direction, in step with me as we headed for the car. “So, does our hasty exit have something to do with what was hilarious?”

I nodded. “Yup.”

“And?”

“And what?”

“And I thought this was the part where you tell me what was…”

“Your mother knows we broke your bed.”

We’d reached the car, and he had the keys in his hand, ready to open the trunk, but promptly dropped them onto the pavement upon hearing my words. His mouth hung open, then snapped shut before he reached down to pick them up, then spoke.

“I’m sorry…what was that again?”

“Your mother. She knows. That we broke your childhood bed. While having sex.”

He leaned on the car for support. “Well fuck ME.”

I snorted. “Exactly the root of the problem.”

He shook his head, eyes wide, now standing erect, hands out to the side at shoulder level. “And to think I spent all those years managing to not get caught tossing off, yet a single visit home with you…”

“Mmm hmm. Sorry, sunshine...joke all you like, but I have no idea how I’m going to go back in there.”

He reached out a hand, which I grudgingly accepted, then pulled me into his arms. “I’ll be right there with you, by your side, your eternal partner in familial mortification. We’ll take the mickey together.”

I sighed, gazing up at him. “This isn’t ever going to go away, is it?”

“Oh, no. Never. We’ll be a hundred and fifty and they’ll still be going on about it.” His eyes closed briefly. “My mother knows I had vigorous sex in my childhood bedroom with my wife-to-be. That’s not so awful, is it? I mean, it’s obvious that we HAVE sex, is it not? We’re adults, in our thirties, we live together…one should assume…”

“And your sister. Don’t forget about your sister. And probably your other sister. And…”

“Good lord, my sisters. Get in the Jag, my love…next stop, home.”

I pulled him down to me, kissing him gently at first, then sucking his bottom lip into my mouth. He groaned when I released him.

“Maude.”

“What?”

“Now I’m sporting a raging hard-on. Lovely accompaniment to my other problem, that.”

Grinning, I took the keys from him and opened the trunk, loading myself up with bags. “Figured maybe that would give them something else to discuss besides the bed, you know?”

“Fantastic.”

“I thought so, anyway.”

He rested one hand on my shoulder and I turned to find his face an inch from mine. “My mother knows I have sex.”

I nodded. “Your mother knows you have sex with ME. We’re just going to pretend this never happened and if anyone mentions it I’m going to feign a fainting spell and you can carry me out to the car and we’ll escape. Sound like a plan?”

“Yes, but then they’re likely to think you’re pregnant…”

“Shut the fuck up, Tom.”

Laughing, he kissed my cheek and grabbed the remainder of our luggage. “Yes, ma’am. Will do."

****************************************

We shot right upstairs to our room upon re-entry, sat on the bed for a few minutes, then walked down the stairs to meet our fate. Everyone was busy decorating, and we helped hang ornaments, Saachi picking them out and instructing me where to place them. Just when I thought we were in the clear, Tom pressed against me from behind to put a fragile bauble higher up and I lost my balance, falling forward and almost taking out the eight foot spruce. He caught me by quickly wrapping one arm around my waist, but the tree was left shaking like mad.

Sarah broke the brief silence that followed in my clumsy dork wake. “Easy there, you two. Beds we’ve aplenty, but there’s only one tree.”

Everyone burst out laughing, including the man holding my sorry ass up…though he tried to disguise it, I could feel his chest vibrating against my back. I was in the middle of turning around to take a bow when the doorbell rang and the room fell silent yet again.

Diana cleared her throat and spoke, her voice bright and cheery. “Well, that’s Dad, then. I’ll see him in.”

My eyes met Tom’s, then noted him swallowing repeatedly before smiling at me. I stood at his side, our arms around each other’s waists, waiting, listening to distant voices that drew ever closer until their source came into full view. Tom’s father was around his height, strikingly handsome, hair gone completely white. I could see bits of Tom in his face, and similarities in the way he held himself. Elegant, just shy of regal. He was wearing a light blue button down shirt under a navy blazer, paired with khaki slacks and toffee brown deck shoes. His accent, though not as strong as it likely was before relocating to England, was still present, and the melodic Scottish lilt combined with the pitch of Tom’s voice reminded me of Sean Connery.

“Hello, all. Happy Christmas.”

His greeting seemed to hang in the air, creating an undercurrent of tension, awkwardness and uncertainty. No one replied, except for Saachi.

“Happy Christmas, Granddad. Your hair is very white. Mummy says we’ve met before but I don’t remember because I was a baby then and babies aren’t good at remembering.”

He went to her instantly, squatting down before her and taking her hand, then planting a kiss on the top of it.

“My, you’ve grown into a beautiful young lass, Saachi. I’m very glad to see you.”

She giggled and pulled her hand away, eyes narrowing. “Have you brought me a present?”

Sarah groaned. “Saachi, remember your manners, please.” James stood, and Sarah embraced him tentatively. “Hello, Dad. Good to see you.”

Ansh garnered a handshake, as did Dave, and Em was the recipient of a hug, which she returned with visibly shaking hands. That left Tom. And me. James closed the distance between himself and us in four striding steps. He reached out and patted Tom’s upper arm.

“Thomas. How are you, son?”

Tom returned the gesture. “Fantastic, Dad. You?”

James nodded. “Quite well, quite well.” He turned to me. “And you must be Maude.”

I faked a smile. “Lovely to meet you, Mr. Hiddleston.” When I extended my hand, he accepted and shook vigorously.

“The feeling’s mutual. And please, call me James.”

I nodded as he released me and turned to Diana. “I believe I was promised some of your famous fish and chips, Di. It’s been far too long…”

She rolled her eyes. “All battered, the fryer’s been ready for an hour, waiting on you.”

He laughed, she laughed, and the rest of just stared at each other, heads tilted like a pack of confused puppies.

Dinner was delicious, but the undercurrent of strangeness permeated the atmosphere. Desert was assorted puddings served with coffee and tea, as well as the sugar cookies Diana had baked and decorated to make me feel more at home, as it wasn’t part of their tradition. Saachi decided that from that point on, they would be. She began to doze off at nine-thirty or so as we all sat in the living room after a round of caroling, her head bobbing and finally coming to rest on Sarah’s upper arm. Ansh scooped her up, and when she woke briefly she mumbled something about presents then was out cold again. When he and Sarah came back downstairs after tucking her in, James cleared his throat and stood, moving to the center of the horseshoe of couches, hands extended, palms up as he addressed the room.

“Well then. I’d imagine you’re all wondering what in heaven’s name I’m doing here, and I aim to explain as best I can, but wanted to wait until the little one was off to bed first.” No one moved, no one spoke, and after he was certain things would remain as such, he continued. “Simply put, your mother invited me to join the family for Christmas.”

Sarah, who was seated closest to Diana, turned to her, eyes wide. “Mum. You invited him? Is he serious?”

Diana nodded. “Yes. I did. He is.” She glanced pointedly at each of her progeny in turn. “And as a favor to your Mum, I’m requesting that you please allow him to continue.” Sarah returned her gaze to James, nodding curtly along with Tom and Emma.

James cleared his throat again. “Back in August, she reached out to me and asked me over for dinner so we could discuss a few…things. She advised me of what you all had spoken about, making it clear that the reason for our divorce was no longer a matter just between the two of us. Since then, we’ve been talking frequently. About the past, mainly, but also about the future. And we’ve…well, we’ve become rather decent friends.”

It was Emma’s turn for an outburst. “Friends? Surely you’re joking. Or I’m dreaming, or I’m in some parallel universe. Friends? Mum? Have you both lost your minds?”

Diana laughed. “Sometimes I wonder, love. But yes. We’ve spent a good bit of time going over everything, from the moment we met until we divorced, trying to figure it all out, what went wrong, the why of it, and…it just seemed it was something we needed to do, once and for all, I suppose.”

Sarah shook her head, eyes on Diana, left index finger pointing at James. “After everything he’s done…you’ve FORGIVEN him?” Her voice was raw, full of emotion she was struggling to contain.

Diana shook her head as well. “Sarah, it isn’t always about forgiveness. Sometimes it’s about closure. And acceptance.”

James nodded, his expression grim. “I would never, ever expect your mother to forgive me for my actions. They were unconscionable. Indefensible. Deplorable. Nor would I expect any of you to forgive them. That’s not why I’m standing before you. I’m here to apologize, though I understand that such a thing is likely too little and too late. But I’m doing it anyway. Sarah and Emily, I’m sorry you lived your lives without me when you needed a father most, though perhaps you were better off, and I’m sorry you were left wondering what went wrong between your mother and me. It was wrong, of both of us, to deny you your own closure, to not tell you the truth. And Tom…the way you found out what I’d been doing, that you carried that with you for so long, a burden so heavy, all on your own…and that you thought at some point you were to blame for the divorce…I…” He cleared his throat, overcome with emotion he likely didn’t want to display. “The three of you deserved better. Your mother deserved better. Over the past few years, as I’ve begun to not recognize the old man I see in the mirror every morning because he can’t possibly be ME…I started to view the past with new eyes. I can see my selfishness, the pain I’ve caused, the destruction I’ve wrought. I’ve lain awake many a night wishing I could go back and change it. But I can’t. And that’s the worst of it. I can’t take it back, I can’t make it disappear. And I’m not going to make excuses for myself, but I feel that I need to be honest, for a change…my first marriage ended, but the hurt…didn’t. And that was not something a man like me admits, especially to himself. So I told myself that love was useless, that it was pointless frivolity. And I believed it, like a religion. From that point forward, that’s how I lived my life. I liked, respected and enjoyed your mother, but I wouldn’t allow myself to become emotionally attached. Same thing with all of you. I focused on my career, and I permitted myself to indulge in the pleasures of the flesh, but love…that had left me betrayed and broken, and I maintained a firm, albeit foolish, resolve that I was never going to let that happen again.”

Again, silence fell over the room.

“So. Here we are. I suppose the point of what I said there is that what I’ve learned is that allowing your past to walk with you in the present does irreparable harm to the future, and not only yours, but that of those around you. As I said, I expect no forgiveness from you. I’m unworthy of it. But I came, because…because I wanted to tell you, in person, that you three, my children, you are all intelligent, talented, loving, caring people. And I am grateful for that now, each and every day. And I thank your mother for doing all the work of raising you, for being there for you, and teaching you how life should properly be lived. It’s not about money, it’s not about success, it’s not about power…it’s about the connections you form with the people around you. It doesn’t matter so much when you’re young and you have, seemingly, nothing but time…but when you get to be my age, time is short, and you look back and see all you missed, all you wasted…” He paused, inhaling deeply before continuing. “And now, all of you have your own connections, love in your lives. I’m grateful for that too. And I know it’s far too much to ask of you, after everything, but I shall do so anyway as your mother said I should, but if you would allow me to participate in events such as this, and, perhaps, eventually, to get to know you again, to learn all the things I should already know…well, I would welcome the opportunity. Very much so.”

And with that, he sat back down, arms crossed in front of him. What he’d said about the past walking with you in the present struck a chord with me, and I focused on that for the moment. It was still completely quiet, Tom’s hand now in mine, his eyes fixed on the floor, jaw clenched. Diana rose from her spot.

“Well, what say we put presents under the tree?”

Sarah got up so quickly that Ansh jumped, startled. “Great idea, Mum.”

And then, as so many families do, we simply carried on as if none of it had ever happened.

****************************************

Sarah and Ansh said goodnight first, reminding us that Sacchi would likely be up at a ridiculously early hour, which led to a mass exodus toward the second floor. There were hugs all around, but for James hanging back, and good tidings shared. After closing the door behind us, Tom half-jogged to the bed, sat down and rested his head in his hands. I walked to sit at his side, placing one hand on his lower back, then slowly circling, hoping to soothe.

“Maude. Did…I just…I really don’t know what to DO with all of this. I’m not even sure what I heard. This is…it’s…”

“Don’t put any pressure on yourself to do something right now. Take your time. Process it.” I snorted. “Said the woman who took an eternity to come to terms with her own familial bullshit.”

He lifted his head, a tiny smile upon his lips. “I adore you.”

“Of course you do.” I reached out with my free hand and cupped his chin, thumb gently stroking his stubbly cheek. “In all seriousness, though…how can I help? Do you need to vent? Rant?”

His head shook back and forth. “Not sure what I’d rant or vent about…too confused, because I just received an apology that I never saw coming nor ever imagined getting. I truly believed it would be about you, his reason for being here. But I think that might have been because of my own fear, that my father wouldn’t like you, that he wouldn’t approve of you, and it makes me sick to think that after all he’s done and all this time, that deep down, his opinion matters to me and I still crave his approval and his respect and his blessing and…and…” His voice broke as he began to sob. “And…and…his…lo…love.”

I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him to my chest, and he wept upon my shoulder, uncontrollably, struggling to silence himself but unable to do so completely. Every time a gasp or muted wail escaped him I had to rein in a wince, as it reminded me of how both he had broken down in our hotel room in New Orleans and how I’d done the same at my mother’s house. This time, at least, I was fully present and able to offer him comfort. He clung to me as I stroked the back of his head and rocked him, and as he began to calm I whispered in his ear.

“I’m here. It’s okay, baby. I know. I know how it hurts. I understand. I love you.”

My sentiments were repeated until he spoke, his face buried in the crook of my neck. His voice was ragged, but soft. “Thank you. I’m sorry. I love you too.”

Just as I opened my mouth to say for what seemed like the millionth time that he need not apologize I felt his own mouth open, teeth sinking into my flesh, lips pressing, followed by suction so powerful it made my toes curl.

“Well hello there, Hiddleston. Damn. This is…unexpected. But please, do continue.”

He growled, fumbling with the hem of my sweater, working his hand inside to caress my left breast through the satin of my bra. Right after he began to pinch my hardened nipple, he pulled away from me, yanking his own sweater off over his head and blowing his nose in it. The snarky comment on my lips was suppressed by his tongue thrusting into my mouth as he guided me into a standing position. I bit down on it and he moaned, hips jutting forward and grinding against me. The kissing continued, sloppy and wet, a long string of saliva still connecting us when we finally came up for air and attempted to separate. Neither of us said a word, the only sound in the room the discordant noise of us removing our shoes and stripping off our clothes as quickly as humanly possible, flinging them everywhere. I looked away from my bra hooks for a moment to find him watching me, pupils blown, jaw clenched. My nether region did some clenching of its own as I completed the task at hand, spun the bra around on my index finger, then let it fly through the air to land on the dresser top. He remained where he was, and I strode toward him, biting my lip as I noticed his cock twitch. Leaning forward when I reached him, I blew on his chest hairs, the initial shiver intensifying as my tongue snaked out and circled his right nipple, then his left. When I added teeth, he pushed me up and off him, then walked me backwards to the bed. His voice was dripping with desire when he spoke, as was his cock.

“Hands and knees for me? On the bed?”

I nodded, mouth agape, panting at the thought of him taking me from behind. While there wasn’t a single position I didn’t like, doggy style was one of my favorites. Just a flash of what it always felt like, his hips slapping against my ass, was enough to cause a rush of wetness that began to trickle down my thighs. I turned and clambered onto the bed, scooting up far enough so he had room to join me, wiggling my own hips suggestively and peeking over my shoulder back at him. He was on me in a heartbeat, pulling my cheeks apart, one nimble finger dipping into me, then pulling out to circle my clit.

“The view from back here, woman. I wish you could see it, see yourself spread wide…open and ready. Ready for me. For my cock. Are you ready for my cock, Maude?”

I whimpered, quietly, I thought, but he heard me anyway.

“Oh, I’m of a mind that you’re MORE than ready.” The head nudged my entrance. “Are you? More than ready? Have you reached the point of desperation? Is it driving you mad, feeling me so close but not where you need me to be most?”

With that I slammed backwards, taking him all in, and the sound he made was half scream, half moan and entirely too loud. He grabbed my hips and began thrusting, hard, fast, and grunting with every single re-entry. I felt his fingers intertwine with my hair, then tugging on it gently but firmly and holding my head in place. He slowed, regaining some semblance of control, which I snatched away by rolling my pelvis and pushing back against him, parrying his thrusts. The hand that had been in my hair disappeared and his arm wrapped around my chest, pulling me up and back, until my ass was resting on his thighs, my knees bent and spread wide, feet resting on either side of him. He ran his tongue up and down the back of my neck as he began to massage my clit, and I squealed. His response was a whisper, and his hot breath on my ear making me clench around him.

“Ride. Me.”

“Yep. Sounds good. Will do.”

I lifted myself off his cock slowly, then sank back down, then again, and again and again, my tempo increasing with each instance as I drew closer to orgasm. As it began he propelled us both forward again, me coming to rest on my elbows with my cheek pressed to the bed, him on top of me, body covering me like a blanket, holding himself up with one arm at first so he could continue playing with my clit, then shifting as the need for additional support arose when he came, hips jerking erratically, mouth open and lips on my shoulder, moaning and whimpering as he spent himself inside me, my walls squeezing and pulsing, leaving me without words, or thoughts, feeling nothing but the pleasure in that moment.

We remained as we were until our panting returned to simply breathing, his chin resting on my shoulder. Tom regained the power of speech first, which was not a single bit surprising.

“Sorry if the timing of that appears questionable. I just…I…”

I pushed myself up on my hands, and he lifted himself off me and rolled us over. I pulled away from him, his cock slipping out of me as I did so, then rolled again to face him, index finger tracing the line of his jaw.

“No need to say it. I understand what you ‘just’.” And I did, absolutely. Receiving comfort, wanting to lose your pain in pleasure, the desire for closeness, fulfilling that desire via the act that brings you as physically close to another human as you can possibly be, reminding yourself of what’s good, affirming that you love and are loved.

He reached out to bring me closer, and I buried my face in his neck, and he buried his in my hair, stroking my back as he murmured how much he loved me and I did the same. It seemed like we’d just fallen asleep when we heard Saachi screaming excitedly out in the hallway.

“It’s morning! It’s morning! Father Christmas came! And he left presents! PRESENTS FOR ME!”

Tom and I donned our pajamas and robes, which I’d made sure to bring when he informed me that no one in the Hiddleston house dressed on Christmas day until it was time for dinner, which was actually lunch. No official breakfast, either, just chocolates and sweets and fruit and caffeinated beverages, which sounded acceptable to me. As we descended the stairs the smell of roasting turkey hit my nostrils and my stomach growled loudly. Tom snickered, and I punched him in the arm.

“It’s like, not even 6 AM yet, dude. How long has your mother been up?”

Diana’s voice sounded from below. “Birds went in the oven at 4:30.” She came into view as we reached the bottom few steps, standing in the living room doorway, wearing a Christmas apron over a fluffy green robe. “This lot is not exactly patient when it comes to food, sad to say. Happy Christmas, Maude. And you too, son of mine. Treats are all laid out…grab a handful and come on in and see what Father Christmas brought for our darling girl. Or our tiny whirling dervish, which is more fitting for today.”

We were the last ones down, everyone else seated either on one of the couches or on the floor, all pajama-clad. A group shout of ‘Happy Christmas’ ensued, and I felt like I was starring in the British version of A Christmas Story, which was amusing until I realized that I was the prime candidate for pulling a Ralphie and saying fuck. Tom and I sat on the couch facing the fireplace, next to Dave and Emma. Sarah and Ansh were on the floor, helping Saachi with her gifts, among which were puzzles, books, various stuffed creatures, and an iPad. Sarah noticed me staring at it, not realizing it was with awe.

“I know, I know…we’re going to limit screen time, but we just think there’s so much for her to learn…”

I blinked, slowly comprehending what her comment meant. “Oh, sorry, Sarah…not why I was gawking. I just really, really love the design of Apple stuff. It’s like high art…flawless, seamless, feels as if it’s an extension of you when you hold it.” Tom chuckled, and I elbowed him in the ribs. “The kid stuff…no clue. But I guess I need to GET a clue.”

Emma shrieked. “OH MY GOD, MAUDE, ARE YOU PREGNANT?”

My brain short-circuited, and I realized Tom hadn’t been kidding about them thinking that if I fainted, and he graciously jumped in to do damage control.

“Christ, Em. It’s too early for that decibel level. No, she’s not.” He turned to me, silently asking if I thought it acceptable to discuss our plans. Though it made me incredibly nervous, it being said out loud, and the fact that it would now be obvious if we weren’t successful, it was my own carelessness that had opened this particular can of worms, so I nodded for him to continue. “Or I should say, not yet. We’re going to start trying soon, once I’m done filming, most likely.”

Within seconds I found myself being hugged and kissed by all of them in succession, with the exception of James, who simply said ‘jolly news’ but remained seated, drinking a glass of milk. Saachi rescued me by stating that all her Father Christmas gifts had been opened and now it was time to see what we’d all gotten for her. Tom went to the tree to retrieve our gifts, and she followed him back to the couch and climbed into his lap, tearing open the first one before she was fully seated. It was a giraffe-printed T-shirt with a cartoon giraffe on the front, munching on some leaves.

“Oh, a giraffe! Look, Mummy!” She held the shirt up. “It’s beautiful!”

Next came matching pants, sweatshirt, and sneakers. Tom saved the best for last, and when she removed the paper and saw a plain cardboard box she gazed up at him. “I do like boxes very much, Uncle Tommy. Thank you.”

The room erupted in laughter, and I reached out to help her open it. When she saw what was inside she gasped, reached inside and pulled out the eighteen-inch high plush giraffe I’d found for her. Unlike most, its proportions were correct, which she noticed immediately. “Oh, he’s just like a REAL giraffe.” She turned to her parents. “I have my very own real-like giraffe. His name is Charlie, and we’re going to be best friends.” Snuggling him to her chest, which was adorable because he was so giant, she turned back to me. “Thank you, Auntie Maude. I love you now.” And with that, she hopped off Tom’s lap and onto mine, hugging me tightly, Charlie between us. As I returned the embrace, the fragility of her, the smallness, this little person, putting her trust in me was incredibly overwhelming and I found myself both struggling not to cry and beaming like an idiot.

She left me soon after when Ansh said her iPad was ready to use, and the rest of us began to open our presents. There was no rhyme or reason to it, other than Diana matching gifts with each individual and piling them nearby. Tom and I were lost in our own little world, choosing to open our presents to each other before ones from family. He insisted that I go first, and I argued, but he smiled that smile and I had no choice but to give in.

The first was a team Jersey, navy blue, and I wondered if he’d lost his fucking mind until I unfolded it and saw my name on the front left breast in white, with the number 31 smack in the center. The back was the same, but across the top over the number was ‘TEAM HIDDLESTON’. I stared at him, and he grinned.

“That’s your team jersey. We’ve all got one. The number is…”

“My birthday.”

He nodded. “Yes. Your birthday.”

“All the swear words.”

His head tilted. “What?”

I raised my left hand, palm towards him. “That’s me using profanity without using profanity.”

“Oh, I like that. Here, do this one next.” He handed me large, flat object, heavier than I expected. I removed the wrapping, and realized it was a frame. Inside was a poster. A movie poster. The Matrix. One of my very favorite films. And when I finally really LOOKED at it, I noticed that there were signatures. Three of them. Keanu Reeves, Carrie-Anne Moss, and Laurence Fishburne.

“Thomas. Are these real? They can’t be real. Are they REAL?”

He nodded again, chuckling and licking his lips.

“ALL THE SWEAR WORDS TIMES A MILLION. How did you…my god, this is AMAZING. You are amazing. Thank you. Wow. I cannot EVEN.”

There was one more for me, a small item, the size and shape of a CD case. I peeled back the paper, and there I was, mid-song, from Hawaii karaoke. Down at the bottom was my name, with the words ‘Back to Black’ under it, and a logo. Skrillex. My mouth dropped open. “Dude. What. Is. This.”

“That’s you. From Kauai, doing Back to Black. Remastered by Skrillex. If you’ll look at the back you’ll see he did a remix for you as well.”

“NO HE DID NOT.”

Tom laughed. “Oh yes he did. Shall we listen to it now?”

I threw my arms around him. “Hiddleston, you are so thoughtful and kind and sweet and I love you, you bastard.” He hugged me back, and I pulled away. “But no, we’ll listen to it later. You have to open your stuff now. Plus I don’t think I want present company to hear me singing about a dude keeping his dick wet.”

“Excellent point. In addition, your voice does things to me…”

“Yes. Duly noted. Later. Anyway. Open the giant box first.”

I’d put all the Jurassic Park toys inside a single box, because I felt if he saw one it would be like he’d seen them all and let’s face it, there’s nothing quite like a box full of toys just waiting for you to love them. He peeled back the paper, popped the tape, lifted the flaps and the expression he wore when he realized what was inside filled me with such joy I thought I’d burst. He turned to me in disbelief.

“How did you…where did you…are these really…” He removed the electronic T-Rex from the box. “IT IS. ORIGINAL.” The rest followed suit quickly, and he placed them gently on the floor after giving them the once-over, alternating between grinning, giggling, and shaking his head. “Maude. It’s like I’m a kid again. On Christmas. This is incredible. Thank you.” With that, he kissed me, and it went on long enough for Sarah to feel the need to tell us to get a room already.

We laughed, blushing, and I decided to fess up. “I can’t take all the credit, you know. Your mom made me a list of what she could remember you having. All I did was find the stuff on eBay.”

He pinched my cheek. “Yes, but you’re the one who thought to do it.” He glanced at Diana. “Thanks, Mum. You’re becoming a regular Sneaky Pete, aren’t you?” She nodded, and I pointed to the other box, smaller than the first.

“Dude, open it. I can’t stand waiting another second.”

Of course he removed the paper at a snail’s pace just to torture me, and then pretended to not know how to get the lid off properly. His face lit up like a thousand suns when he saw the fedora.

“My very own Indiana Jones fedora. I hope you realize I’m going to where this everywhere we go forever and ever from this day forward.” As he lifted it out of the box with the intent of putting it on, I figured I should draw his attention to what he was actually holding. I reached out and grabbed his wrist.

“You might want to take a gander at the inside before you wear it.”

His puzzled gaze met my mildly impatient one, and he flipped it over.

“My god. Oh my god. OH. MY. GOD.” He stood, hat in his hand, his last comment so loud that everyone was staring at him. Emma snorted.

“Tom. It’s a hat. It’s lovely. Pipe down, won’t you?”

Tom shook his head. “It’s not just a hat. It’s a fedora signed by Harrison Ford. Indiana Jones.”

I tugged on his robe but he didn’t notice, so I stood, pausing to pull out a framed letter I’d hidden under extra tissue paper in the bottom of the box. He read it quickly, and when I saw his Adam’s apple bob I knew he was holding back a sob. A deep breath followed, then he spoke.

“It’s a note from Harrison. It says ‘Tom – Steve told me how much Indy means to you, but what really sold me was the story from your fiancée about you cutting off your sister’s braid and using it as a bullwhip. Here’s a hat. Wore it for the Last Crusade. You do good work, kid. Keep it up and you might be able to buy a real, actual bullwhip someday. – Harrison’.”

He sat back down, hat in one hand, frame in the other, staring at them both as his siblings and their significant others came over to get a better look. I sat as well, and as I did so he looked up at me.

“You did this. For me. How? How did you pull this off? I would have never expected this, for him to send one of the fedoras he actually wore. I…my god…my mind. So completely, utterly blown.”

I grinned. “I am tenacious and don’t take no for an answer.” He laughed. “Actually, I had lots of help. Friend here, client there, Steven Spielberg, and here we are. You like it, then?”

“It’s the best present…and it has a deeper meaning than me just being a huge fan, because of how we met, and what I said, and…I love you.”

My grin widened and I patted him on the shoulder. “I know.”

He roared, catching on to my Star Wars reference, and I joined in, Saachi finally looking up from her iPad to comment.

“I want a funny hat next year, please.”

Everyone laughed at that, and once the giddiness wore off it was back to the matter at hand. We’d gotten Diana a set of eight mugs, two tote bags and four T-shirts with her art printed on them, which she marveled at and said she finally felt like she might actually be a genuine artist. For Em and Dave we’d purchased a couples spa weekend, and for Sarah and Ansh we’d arranged for a date night out to see a show and spend the night at a five-star hotel in London, grandma set as the babysitter.

Diana put together a beautiful photo album that included pictures of Tom as a child, as well as other family shots for us, and she’d done a painting on canvas of Tom and I on the red carpet at the Cube gallery. And, as predicted, there was my Christmas sweater, bright blue with snowmen on the front. It was actually kind of cute, and I thought it might even be fun to put it on our first married people Christmas cards next year. Then I shook my head and decided I was going insane and that I needed some more tea immediately. Before I had a chance to get up go grab it, Diana handed me a thick greeting card envelope.

“Here, love. This one’s from me, Emma and Sarah. Technically for you and Tom, but mainly for you.”

I opened it slowly, reading the brochure and the open-ended tickets and where to call to book dates, not quite understanding what I was looking at straight away. It was something I’d never thought of, never would have thought of on my own, but wished I had and was grateful someone else had done it for me. They’d arranged for a week-long vacation for us at the Fitzpatrick Castle Hotel. Which was in Ireland. In Dalkey, Ireland, to be exact. Where my father had been born and lived until he met my mother and moved to the US. I didn’t speak. I couldn’t speak. The idea of seeing where he’d grown up, walking the streets he’d walked, visiting the bar his family owned…MY family owned? I didn’t know. He’d cut all ties with them, likely at my mother’s insistence, and that’s all I knew. Did he have siblings? Were his parents still alive? He never spoke of family, not once that I could recall. I’d been so angry, so hurt, that it never occurred to me that they could be out there somewhere in the world. And that they were my family, too. Which led me to the next step…what of my mother’s family? They knew there was a child, that I existed, both sides, but did they know it was…me? Suddenly, and much to my surprise, I felt compelled to find out.

Diana was standing in front of me still, her face full of concern as I looked up at her.

“Maude, if that was too forward of us, I’m terribly sorry…we just thought you might want to, since you’re close by now…”

I passed the papers to Tom, who had been reading them over my shoulder, stood, and wrapped my arms around Diana, a muted ‘thank you’ spilling from my lips before I began to weep. Sarah and Emma made it a group hug, and I realized that while it would be wonderful to have my questions answered, it would be icing on the cake, as they say, because I’d already been blessed with a family, the people right there in that room, who had opened their lives and their hearts to me, because I loved their brother, their son, and he loved me. And what a miracle that was, especially on a day made for such things.

#your light in the mist #chapter 39

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daisywords · 6 years

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I stalked your wip page a bit, are you going to continue writing Starlight during NaNo? :D Also 8, 9, 12 and 15 for the nanowrimo ask?

ask

Yeah! Starlight is my NaNo project, bc I haven’t really made that super clear. I don’t know if that’s like cheating or whatever, bc I’ve been working on it for a while, but I definitely need at least 50k more. I’m actually doing NaNo mostly to get myself to finish Starlight faster.

8. Any inspirations?

So I don’t think I’ve ever said this before, but Starlight has its roots in games I played with my siblings when we were little. And I don’t know how many people have heard of Great Wolf Lodge, but there’s this game called MagiQuest there (I think you can do it other places too idk) that’s basically like an interactive scavenger hunt around the building, right? And to play, you need to buy these wands that interact with all the props and stuff. So we somehow convinced our parents to buy them for us, and we totally had a blast with this stuff. (I think I was like 9 or 10?) But anyway we came home with these fancy wands, so naturally we had to make up a complicated game and universe for which they were suitable, right? And we each had our own character to play, because of course.

My character was named Jinna, and she had illusion powers and could turn into a bird, because why not? And oh yeah she also had a wicked sword.

My older sister’s character was named Gwen, and she had plant/nature powers and could turn into an ocelot, and she was an archer.

And then my younger brother’s character was named Jathan, and he had fire powers and could turn into a fox. He also fought with a sword, because that was back in the day when he and I would play fencing all the time with our nerf swords.

And then my younger sister’s character was named Ariana, and she could talk to animals and I think turned into a mouse or a squirrel, I can’t remember which.

Anyway, I was already a weird daydreamer child who made up complicated stories, so naturally the “magic game” had to become a huge thing for me. Mostly I made up scenarios and weird universe rules and they went along with it sometimes. So.

Gradually, it turned into less of a game and more of a wip thing for me, and I didn’t want to play it anymore bc my siblings were ruining their characters. ( an interesting note is that Jathan and Ariana were basically the same person as the respective sibling, but Jinna and Gwen were a lot like my older sister and I, but flipped. I’m taller and quiet, so my Jinna was shorter and more outgoing, and my sister is short and more outgoing, so her Gwen was tall and quiet. Probably just because we two were old enough to be self aware and thus have like. low self esteem? idk.)

And eventually, Gwen turned into Kirsta (ask me about the other inspirations behind Kirsta bc that is another pile of longs stories) and she also sprouted a brother, Kor, who mostly existed to round out the gender ratio. So I had a working story about Jinna, Kirsta, Kor, Jathan, and Ariana, who still had cool magic powers but lost the ability to turn into animals somewhere along the way.

9. When did you come up with the idea?

So Starlight has gone through a lot of different “ideas,” but here’s the incomplete story:

When I was 12, my best friend emailed me (lol) and was like ‘hey we should write a book together! (At this point I was already like dead set on being a writer and she been knew) and I was like ‘Sounds great! what did you have in mind?”

Turns out like not much, so I rifled through my mental file of ideas I wasn’t that invested in, and came back with my old mirror portal fantasy idea and a few others, but she picked the mirror portal fantasy.

So what we started writing was basically this:

A girl named Ali lives in modern NYC and figures out that she can walk through mirrors. The mirror realm connects all mirrors on earth, but it also connects all realms/universes in the multiverse (for some reason idk.) Turns out she’s from a different realm, and she has to go save her realm from the bad guys/creatures who are trying to take over all the realms. Yeah.

Eli pretty much sprang to life fully formed into this version, and so did Saref. And this version is where the plot of finding Eli that basically exists pretty unchanged as the main throughline of Starlight right now.

By like chapter 2, we hit a roadblock called ‘this story has a strong throughline but literally nothing else to it’s name, and I was already getting bored, bc honestly I didn’t care about any of the characters except maybe Eli. (And actually, og Ali was p much the worst mc, bc she was super passive and literally never acted on her own or made any choices.) But my bff was still very into it, so basically one day I was like k we’re going to add/change some stuff, and basically superimposed my “magic game story” right on top of it. In retrospect, this actually worked out quite well, seeing as the “magic game story” had everything but any kind of throughline. So I basically renamed Jinna Ali, and all was fine and dandy. Eventually I phased out the portal fantasy aspect entirely, and Ali was no longer from the modern world. (And now the mirror concept belongs to its own urban fantasy wip bc I can’t get rid of any ideas)

so around 2013, we actually had a pretty clear outline and a draft moving along, and the plot basically stayed the same until like 2017, (when I came back to Starlight and realized that the plot was, um, invented by 13 year olds.)

And then my 2017 plot conflicted with a lot of the worldbuilding/subplots, and it’s basically been major overhaul since then, but now it’s kind of stabilized (I hope)

(The whole story about how we got from there to here is way too long, just like this post already is)

12. Who’s your favorite character so far?

I’m super attached to a lot of them, but Alya, Kirsta, and Kor especially have a place in my heart. (I can never pick 1 favorite of anything lol)15. What’s your character’s favorite memory with another?

answered here

ok tl;dr Starlight is my NaNo project, it’s been a weird and convoluted process, and if you’ve noticed that my characters are weirdly color-coded, it’s bc they’re based on MagiQuest™ wands

#starlightwip

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midorikawa-lettuce · 6 years

Text

kay so for those of you who don’t know, my M.O. is to take things that have skeletal or shallow lore and over complicate the whole damn thing especially with specific mythos, creation stories, and deity pantheons, so Tokyo Mew Mew is no different; under the cut commences my long and convoluted bits of lore that I have headcanoned and fanoned the shit out of for this series

Ryou says at one point that he thinks it was “no accident” that Ichigo and the girls were the ones who became Earth’s defenders, after Masaya turns out to be Deep Blue. So time to extrapolate the fuck out of that.

All of the Mew Mews are very heavily coded, both in the anime and manga, to correspond to one of the four natural elements. Mint is Air, Lettuce is Water, Pudding is Earth, and Zakuro is Fire. In the manga especially, even, each of them uses the Mew Aqua to cleanse their specific element (Mint cleans the air from the Chimera Moth, Lettuce cleans the ocean, Pudding saves Tokyo Dome from collapsing due to instability in the earth, and Zakuro destroys the dome that causes an intense heat wave in Tokyo).

Then there’s Ichigo. Ichigo doesn’t correspond to one of the natural elements, but she does correspond to a somewhat common trope in five-person-elemental-teams: in other words, Heart (Captain Planet is that you?). This is furthered by the fact that in the manga, when she uses the Mew Aqua, it’s to save Masaya’s life, the person she loves. I would actually almost hazard to say that she’s meant to represent the whole of the planet itself, or even life itself, as her use of Mew Aqua in the manga also restores plant life to the earth, and restores life to others (the Mews, Masaya, and the aliens). In other words, Ichigo is the Sailor Earth. (How’s that for a Sailor Moon plot twist?)

Now what the fuck does any of this have to do with anything in this post about made-up lore? Well, I’m getting to that. Let’s put together a few more concepts first.

First: Mew Aqua. It’s both a liquid and a crystal, said to have been created by the aliens, the previous inhabitants of earth, but for an unknown purpose (I haven’t yet finished my rewatch of the series, but to the best of my knowledge, they never fully address why it was made). It’s an incredible force that can cleanse the pollution of the earth and restore it to its natural state, influence strange phenomenon like the sudden overnight sprouting of an entire forest in the middle of a city, and even restore life. That is a pretty INTENSE thing that these aliens made....and if they’re the ones who made it, and the aliens want it so that they can use it to restore Earth to what they want, why didn’t the aliens fleeing the original destruction of Earth just...use Mew Aqua?

The final concept I want to bring up before I move onto my actual lore is where Masaya/Blue Knight/Deep Blue fits into all of this. Masaya is effectively a member of Tokyo Mew Mew, as a complement to Ichigo. They’re not just a good couple, they’re a battle couple too: their attacks work together and Masaya is automatically tuned in to whenever Ichigo needs help. But we’ve already got a blue member of the team (Mint) so why the heck did they decide to color code Masaya and Deep Blue as well, blue? There were other colors available, like red or black, that might have even looked more aesthetically pleasing overall. It’s also important to mention that Kish, Pai, and Taruto refer to Deep Blue as a “god.”

So where the fuck am I going with this? Let’s start with this: I don’t think Deep Blue is the only god in this series. Warning: as we go ahead, I will stop referring to this as headcanon and start talking about it like it’s a legit theory. It is not. I just don’t want to keep saying “this is what I think” over and over again.

Deep Blue as a god, first. So, back to the question. Why is Deep Blue, well, Blue? Because Deep Blue is the sky.

Where Ichigo represents the earth as a whole, the planet itself, the terrestrial body, Deep Blue/Masaya is the complementary opposite: the sky and the atmosphere that surrounds the planet. The Mews then each represent a major part of the make-up of the planet in a more specific, lesser form: once again, Earth, Wind, Water, and Fire (take a drink if the song got stuck in your head).

It makes sense again when you look at Kish, Pai, Taruto, and their people. They specifically worship Deep Blue as a god, and if Deep Blue is the god of the sky, then their abilities are in keeping with this. They can fly, they don’t require oxygen to breathe and seem perfectly all right with varying pressure, allowing them to live quite comfortably in any part of the atmosphere, and they can teleport, moving between the air from place to place. All things that make sense for a people who are beholden to a god of the sky.

This is where my “”creation story”” comes in. Deep Blue is the sky, and Ichigo represents the Earth. Deep Blue is a god who lay partially dormant inside a human until he could be awakened. Masaya is human, but contains the remains of an ancient god of the sky. If Ryou is correct in that there was no mistake that it was Ichigo, the one who loved Masaya, who became a Mew Mew to face him, then why couldn’t Ichigo be the same way? Why couldn’t Ichigo just so happen to be the reincarnation/vessel of the remains of the god of the Earth?

So I suppose this is where the story starts. A very long time ago, when Kish’s people still lived on the earth, there were gods that lived among them. The most revered were the Mother Earth who granted them life, and the Father Sky who enfolded them. Also worshiped were the ephemeral and alien forces of Water, Earth, Fire, and Air, which had no shape or form but rather took the visage of the creatures that best represented them, and flickered from form to form when it suited them. Father Sky was known as Deep Blue, and Mother Earth was known as μ (Myu/Mew). It was said by their people that Deep Blue and Mew were in love.

By some strange, unknown catastrophe, perhaps by a mismanaging of Mew’s bounty or some unforeseeable disaster, or perhaps by some strange quarrel between Mew and Deep Blue, the planet underwent a series of natural disasters, making it nearly impossible to live on. It’s not certain what caused the rift between Mew and Deep Blue, or if in fact there was a rift at all, but something violently drove them apart. The peoples of the planet made reluctant plans to flee for a new home. The strain of their people leaving them behind was too great for the gods who depended on their people’s belief. Deep Blue went with them, but he was shorn in two, as the atmosphere could not fully leave the planet behind. Half of him went with the fleeing peoples, dormant and dying, and ensuring that no planet they found could ever be a happy home enfolded by a forgiving atmosphere. The other half fell back down to the earth, and was hidden among the souls of the creatures that still clung to life on its surface.

Mew, as the Earth itself, could quite obviously not be taken away with the fleeing people, no more than a planet could move out of orbit. But the loss of Deep Blue was so terrible, so painful, that she could only cry. And from her tears, which scattered across the whole of her, came the liquified crystals that would later be known as Mew Aqua.

As time passed, the earth settled once again, and creatures began to flourish. Humans evolved, and among them, the lasting spirit of Deep Blue began to slowly reawakened. After many thousands of years, when humans matured, the sleeping Mew sensed the approach of her love: the aliens were once again reaching out back towards the jewel they had left, and Deep Blue’s awakening self turned his eyes back towards home as well. But the thousands of years of sleep, and the ragged tear that had split him had caused Deep Blue to become angry and resentful. He no longer cared for either his people or Mew, but rather wanted to destroy that which he had been unable to keep.

Mew could sense his malice, and out of love for the creatures that were born on her soil, she did what Deep Blue’s spirit did. She consigned what remained of her faded self to the souls of humanity. Some years later, the new host of Deep Blue’s soul would be born. Near the same time, a girl with the soul of Mew would also arise. The souls of Earth, Wind, Water, and Fire were not human enough to be passed into a human soul, but they could give their blessing, and so they, too, blessed several humans with their hopes.

When Deep Blue and his people returned to the Earth, there were warriors waiting to meet him, to protect the planet from his yet hidden, murderous rage. Deep Blue did not remember everything, but he did know with a fiery instinct that these warriors were specifically his bane -- which is why he focused all his efforts on just them, on just their city, on just collecting the Mew Aqua, the tears of the one he had once loved, to facilitate his awakening.

I’m going to drop my narrator voice now and just say: this is a lot of shit that I had way too much fun crafting and I really fucking want to write fic about this but i need to figure out how to streamline it into a usable setting that won’t make me want to die with how much work it is, and for now i just want to dump this world building on SOMEONE because it’s been in my head for weeks.

that’s all i have now anyway thank you for reading this ridiculously long and unnecessary fake lore post

#tokyo mew mew #headcanon #fanon #lettuce talks #long post

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riftp · 6 years

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Read It For The Pictures 32: DIEDIEDIE! #1 by Robert Kirkman and Chris Burnham

NK: Hello, and welcome to Read It For the Pictures, the comic book Blog where we read it for the Pictures! I'm Neil Kapit, and with me as always is the rare species homo australis, Dave Clarke! How you doin' Dave?

DC: I’m excited cos we actually have a book suited for this review format. Not a random issue of an 50+ year old franchise, not a bold new IP launch featuring an artist who’ll be gone in 3 issues, but something by a unique artists getting to flex their muscles.

NK: Yes, we're reviewing DIEDIEDIE! by Robert Kirkman and Chris Burnham, with colors by Nathan Fairbairn and co-plotting by Scott M. Gimple. This comic was announced last Tuesday and released last Wednesday as a surprise, due to writer and Image COO Kirkman wanting exciting new material to get people to set foot in comic stores….In theory.

DC: Yeah... that I don't get. Don’t get me wrong I think this is a pretty enjoyable issue but I don’t get why this would get randos any more excited than any other random Image book. Maybe we should go over what the actual plot is if only to give some context to pointing out cool stuff in the art.

NK: POLITICS WARNING POLITICS WARNING

DC: This more of a code yellow politics warning than a code red (heh). So the book's about a secret society of assassins within the US government who're working outside the system to kill evil people.

Truly mind bending sci-fi.

NK: I really do think Chris Burnham is a great artist and would be a great choice to launch a kind of killer app for comic stores that this was clearly positioned as. Too bad the script doesn't allow him to really flex those artistic muscles. For example it's hard to make a three page info dump about a past operation assassinating a pedophile politician compelling reading.

DC: So our story follow's Paul, an assassin who’s working for a US senator on a needlessly complicated scheme to take out a bad guy when he’s captured (presumably by unrelated bad guys). The end of first issue twist is that the senator brings in Paul's two brothers to help rescue him.

NK: Because that's what makes for a compelling hook in an action story, showing your badass hitman hero get the shit kicked out of him by more competent assassins after successfully killing a middle-aged out-of-shape kiddie fiddler.

DC: You say that but these are pretty cool action scenes.

NK: They are, but they're only a fraction of the issue. Burnham does give some impressive fight choreography in pages 2-5, that help sell Paul as a deadly and resourceful fighter. A lot of the rest talking heads in deep shadow speaking in overstuffed word balloons of exposition and banter.

DC: I actually wanted to talk about what I thought was an interesting decision for the shadow scenes. There’s a scene that takes place in a dark office that is punctuated by someone opening the door and letting light in. After which he immediately closes the door.

NK: (And yes, Connie has a random naked man lying on her couch, amidst her documents and hard drugs. The thing feels like kind of a half measure in terms of dark comedy.)

DC: The approach to the dark scenes reminded me of dramatic lighting in prestige tv shows.

NK: A bit harder to pull off in comics where there's a lot of spot blacks. Burnham shades it accurately, and the lack of drama is mostly just because there isn't much reason to care about Connie drunkenly talking to her photo of Barack Obama about how her assassination business hasn't gone as planned.

DC: Well yeah the story’s bad but as you know from my multiple hours explaining power ranger plots you know that’s never stopped me needing out. Quite a cool trick I thought :/

NK: But the coloring isn't complex enough to make it more than just deep blacks and dull blues. I admit to my shame that, for a blog about the pictures, I'm particularly hung up on the words at the moment. Because all these neat tricks of comics choreography just go to waste, when the script is such that the parts where the artist could show off are a small part of the book, and there's only so much you can do to make a compelling scene of marathon talking heads. In the page where we see the Assassin Nate go to his armory, that's less than a third of the page, and the majority is just him walking out of his car through his mansion. In the print version, that's about a 2 inch by 8 inch frame to show off all his guns, and most of it is blocked by the figure of Nate in the foreground.

DC: *takes a long draw on my cigarette* but that’s what life is, a sequence of talking heads until we all die.

…and coming from the most vocal defender of Metal Gear Solid 4's cutscenes thats a pretty severe criticism.

NK: ...this isn’t the time or place for that. But would you say that each page should do something to advance the story and reveal character?

DC: I would also say the issue as a whole fails that test. But I went in with basically no expectations of the writing.

Come on, look how Burnham is able to use the visual noise of the trees here in a way that doesn’t dominate the page or change the bright midday lighting.

NK: I had higher expectations for this because it got this sudden surprise release with that editorial on how people should have reasons to be excited about going to the comic store. Certainly the script looks like it was written on meth compared to the likes of Brian Bendis or Tom King, but we need higher standards than those for writers filling in bi-weekly pages on 80 year old characters.

DC: (Also I promise I’m not just picking every panel with the f word.)

NK: The opening page with the greyhound track is really impressively composed and does a great job creating an illusion of motion that only comics can create. It also has nothing to do with any of the narrative content of the book. It's the setup for the punchline of Paul "accidentally" giving a random old man a winning ticket, which I guess is supposed to show that he's a hitman with a Heart.

DC: I don’t blame you for not following the convoluted plan, but giving him the money was just part of the Rube Goldberg machine the senator set up.

NK: Convolution to create an appearance of depth. But still, I like this utopian fantasy of politicians who are competent and do things for a greater good Since we have Captain Planet villains running every branch of American government, sinister puppetmasters seem nominally better. But then, compare the first page of this with the first page of Burnham’s Nameless comic with Grant Morrison

NK: And you can see which writer's getting the most out of their artist.

DC: Before you bait me into more politics chat I’ll just say that doing the shadow with colouring in this panel was a clever choice.

NK: These are good techniques for you to point out because they're the kind that'd likely go unnoticed unless they were done badly

DC: It seems that forest scene was doing a lot to control visual noise. That’s the annoying thing about visual art, when it’s done well a lot of it just goes unnoticed At least that my excuse for all my projects taking so long. That and I’ve recently become addicted to playing Cities: Skylines

NK:: So the best teaching is to study the techniques of great artists working off of limp scripts?

DC: I think this script does enough to give Burnham room to work, it gives a variety of locations, different moods and pacing and an extended action sequence. I recently read a comic that very definitively doesn’t do that, but that’s for another article. But yeah, it don’t expect it to tap into the zeitgeist like walking dead. Somehow the elite deploying super assassins for the benefit of the people doesn’t quite seem as modern as the complete collapse of civilization.

NK: We’re all the walking dead.

#diediedie #skybound #walking dead #invincible #image comics #dave clarke #neil kapit #read it for the pictures #blog #comic books #Robert kirkman #chris burnham

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emubop · 6 years

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Adding on to my post from yesterday, I’m just gonna list all the issues I have with Disco (a separate list of the things I love soon to come!)

Under a cut for length and for spoilers. Seriously. Major spoilers ahead. And tw for discussions of character death, if that bothers you.

With that in mind, let’s get to it! (This is in no particular order, btw.)

Starting with the last two episodes, since they’re pretty fresh in my mind - they felt very rushed. I’ve seen some people say that the season should have ended right when they got back from the mirrorverse, and I completely agree. The final arc felt like it needed at least two more episodes to be fleshed out. I wanted to see more of the characters actually dealing with what happened in the mirrorverse, and having time for development; and while we got a little bit of that between Michael and Ash, it wasn’t very much. And like, I get why. When you’ve only got two episodes to get the plot where you need it to go, of course character development is going to be sacrificed for time. Which is why I think they should have either a) added more episodes to the end of season one, or b) ended the season with the mirror arc, so that they’d have more time to explore the Klingon war thing at the beginning of season 2. Disco has some very wonderful characters who are very deserving of development and growth, and it’s unfortunate that they didn’t get it.

Culber’s death... This is the main point where I’m like “yeah, I don’t blame you for not liking the show anymore,” because I came very close to that too. In the end, I do still think I like the rest of the show overall, but this part... I just about stopped watching. In short - the way the show treated Dr. Culber was absolutely shitty. Sure, I’m like 99% certain they’ll end up bringing him back in season 2, but in the meantime, he’s still very much dead. And NOT ONLY did they use the “bury your gays” trope, but out of only TWO gay characters, they buried the man of color. Like... that’s just... what the fuck.

I’m expanding this into multiple points, bc it’s the biggest point I have. Culber’s death is legitimately the worst thing Disco has done. Not only just the fact that they killed him, but how they did it. His death was violent, sudden, and meaningless. The main characters barely even get to react to it before moving on. His killer doesn’t face trial or repercussions. (Note - I personally see Voq as being entirely the murderer and not Tyler, since Tyler had no agency in the killing and was if anything just a tool, but either way, no justice is served.) And then we, the audience, have to see the brutal killing scene AGAIN in the “previously on” section of the next episode or two, which makes it seem like they’re using this horrific event as mere shock value. I literally felt sick to my stomach watching it. What happened was disgusting, and I can’t blame anyone for not wanting to watch the show anymore because of it.

I trust Wilson Cruz. I trust Anthony Rapp. I trust them when they say that there’s a plan, that Culber will come back, that this will work out at some point. Their reassurances do help me personally to make some measure of peace with the situation. I don’t want to think that two openly gay actors would sign onto the script if this is how it ends between their characters. But right now, Culber is still dead, for no good reason that I can see, and it still stings. This is justifiably upsetting. And until I see him come back with my own two eyes, yeah, I’m not gonna be happy about it.

Aaaaand speaking of death, let’s talk about Georgiou. I just... that’s not a good way to start your show off, ngl. You take a very strong and deep character, played by Michelle Yeoh no less, and then just kill her? It’s bad writing. They could have easily had Michael transferred off the Shenzhou and arrested and kept Captain Georgiou alive. They could have even kept the whole “tragic backstory” thing in play, with Michael and Philippa no longer on speaking terms, and Michael mourning the loss of what was once such a close relationship. (I do appreciate that they brought her back as her mirror counterpart - and boy howdy the Emperor is a good character - so that does take a little bit of the sting out, but still. Not the best way to open the show.)

And then Landry dies in both universes?? I can accept mirror!Landry dying because of the whole “Lorca’s second hand” thing, but like... god, this show has got to stop killing off poc. Especially woc. I can understand that they’re trying to do a “raceblind” thing, and I understand their reasoning - the whole “it’s a utopian future and everyone is treated the same!” thing - but it doesn’t really work like that irl for the audience. Unless someone is actually literally colorblind and sees everything in greyscale, no one has any business saying they “don’t see color.” And no one should be casting with that mindset. The situation could certainly be a lot worse - they’ve got Michael, at least, and she’s fucking amazing - but it could also be better.

And yeah, it’s a warzone, and people are going to die. I get that. But just... do some critical thinking about who you’re killing, why, and if it can be avoided. If for no other reason, it makes the story a lot stronger in the long run.

It’s the year of our lord twenty-gayteen, can we stop having the makeup on white people playing Kingons being so hmmm questionable maybe?

(With regards to several of the above points, I’m white, so please let me know if I’m overstepping my bounds here. And like the point about Culber - I wouldn’t blame anyone for disliking/not supporting the show because of these reasons, and I’m not ever going to try to convince anyone that these things are okay. Because they aren’t. Just because I like certain elements enough to give the show a second chance with season two, doesn’t mean that anyone else will or should do the same. Continuing.)

Why the fuck is this show so obsessed with eating people? Stop it. Get some help.

The only explicitly bisexual/pansexual person we see is the Emperor, who sleeps with both a man and a woman and seems very satisfied with both parties afterwards. Which, okay, cool, except she was also trying to get information out of them, so whether or not she was even attracted to either one is debatable. I personally think she was - thanks to Michelle Yeoh’s acting, which is a goddamn gift - but that still leaves us with the only representation of bi/pan people being a murderous emperor from the mirror universe. And the “relationship” is entirely sex-based, as well as being with multiple people at once, which only furthers the stereotype of bi/pan being promiscuous, being only bi for a threesome, being untrustworthy. And to be clear, there’s nothing wrong with one night stands or poly relationships! Those things are perfectly fine! But when that’s all that bi/pan people are shown as, it can play into really damaging stereotypes - and as a bi/pan person, I’m frankly getting a little fucking sick of it.

(I mean, it’s better than DS9′s “mirrorverse=gay/bi/pan” thing, I’ll give it that, but I’m not going to give any show brownie points for reinforcing harmful stereotypes. You’ve improved slightly, Trek, but not nearly as much as you should have.)

I’m just making another point here for Dr. Culber’s death because seriously. Fucking seriously. What the fuck.

I would’ve liked to have seen more one-off episodes, like��“Magic to Make the Sanest Man Go Mad.” That was a fucking awesome episode. It’s fun! It’s got character development! I wanna see more of that!

The portrayal of Klingon culture is a bit inconsistent. And okay, to be entirely truthful, I’m really not that into Klingons in general? So having a plot centered around them wouldn’t be my first choice anyway. But if you’re going to do it, please do it right. It felt like the writers sometimes “forgot” important elements of Klingon culture for the sake of the plot, and just... come on. The Klingons are brutal warriors, yes. They’ve killed innocent civilians in the course of battle, sure. But they have a whole honor code, and going out of their way to murder thousands of helpless, defenseless people? Correct me if I’m wrong, but it just doesn’t quite seem to fit.

I really, really wanna see more of the bridge crew! I wanna get to know them! They seem so cool who are they please Disco I’m begging you

This is a very dumb, very tiny thing, but I was kinda hoping I’d see some Cardassian makeup in the crowd while we were in the Seedy Black Market on Qo’noS. Did appreciate the Trill lady tho!

I dunno, the ending almost felt... too neat? If that makes sense? I would have liked things more ambiguous, a few more loose ends. It felt like they threw in a happy ending out of nowhere; it didn’t really match the tone of the rest of the show.

Speaking of tone - it felt to me like Disco was trying to mix the upbeat, thoughtful, philosophical tone of classic Trek with the grittier, more critical, more heavy tone of DS9. I love both classic Trek and DS9, but they don’t exactly mix very well. Disco’s tone felt a bit confused and convoluted. And like, here’s the thing - classic Trek doesn’t preclude heavy subjects (”Conscience of the King” from TOS is a great example), and shows like DS9 don’t preclude fun and optimism (there’s episodes like “Explorers” that are uplifting, and “Take Me Out to the Holosuite” is a fucking delight). Star Trek at its best should always tackle difficult issues, should always have determination, should always have hope. DS9 had a more morally gray outlook, yes, and certainly questioned the idea that the Federation is utopian, but it was still underpinned by the main characters wanting to do good. Wanting to improve the world around them. It managed to do a very good job of adapting Trek’s message to its darker tone - whereas Disco feels like it’s flip-flopping between having a darker tone and trying to be like TOS. Like, buddy, just pick one. You just gotta pick one.

The more times Sarek shows up in Disco, the more he looks like a complete dick to Spock in TOS. This isn’t necessarily a complaint, because Sarek being a dick is certainly in character for him, but I’d like to see that disparity in how he treats his children addressed. By his wife. Specifically by his wife. Amanda is a national treasure and I need her to call her husband out.

idk I think there’s more but like, I’ve been working on this for hours - WAIT HANG ON

This has been bugging me since the beginning of the show, because while Michael’s mutiny was certainly a bad idea, she technically... didn’t really do much of anything before being taken to the brig? She almost has the ship fire on a Klingon vessel, but Georgiou shows up and stops her. Helm locked phasers on the vessel on Michael’s orders, yes, but earlier they locked phase cannons on the vessel for a short time, which Georgiou agreed to. Her actions during the mutiny didn’t really change their situation at all. So why does everyone blame her for starting the war?

“But she killed that Klingon during her spacewalk!” Yeah, she did, because he came charging at her with a bat’leth with the intention to kill. In that scenario, her actions were self-defense. She attempted to talk to him, he then proceeded to try to kill her, so she fought back to save her own life and ended up killing him in the process. And all this happened while she was investigating a foreign object in Federation territory. So while I can see why she was charged with mutiny and assaulting a fellow officer, I don’t think it’s fair to say that she started the war. The Klingons on the ship of the dead were planning to start shit before anyone even got there.

I can understand why Starfleet would have thought Michael started it, at least at first, because unlike the audience, they couldn’t see the Klingons planning beforehand. That’s fair. But then Ash Tyler shows up, and he’s revealed to be Voq - who was there! he knows what happened on that ship! - and eventually, he loses Voq’s consciousness but retains the guy’s memories. So Ash knows how the war started. Ash knows, or should know, that the Klingons on that ship were the instigators. Why wouldn’t he tell Starfleet before fucking off with L’Rell? He says he loves Michael, so why wouldn’t he want to set the record straight? And most importantly, why wasn’t Michael told any of this?! She’s been blaming herself for this whole war, she’s been suffering needlessly for it, let her fucking rest! Yeah, she was exonerated and accepted back into Starfleet, which is great, but it came across as “welp you basically cleaned up the mess of a war you started and saved Earth from annihilation, so I guess we’ll clear the slate for you.” It should have been more like “well given what we know now, we can say that you’re innocent of starting interstellar war; and as for the rest, stopping the destruction of Earth is a hell of a community service, so you know what? Welcome back.”

My point is, Michael Burnham has done nothing wrong, ever, in her life

Alright, at this point I think that about sums it up, and I’m tired of looking at this anyways because it’s been hours now, so uh, yeah. Thanks for coming to my ted talk

#star trek disco #star trek discovery #caps lock #death mention #violence mention #star trek discovery spoilers #star trek disco spoilers #long post #(like. really fucking long. this is not a drill)#anyway welcome to 'i love star trek - now let me tell you how i hate it'#a novel by me #star trek #i mean i guess this counts as #star trek discourse #sort of? idk man its more of a ramble than anything else #but i needed a place to put my complaints so here it is

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