#it feels better when I call them 'paras' not because I assume I have maladaptive daydreaming but because its the most fitting title for the | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fruit-teeth · 4 years

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MADD FRIEND MADD FRIEND hope you don't mind if i ask a bunch of questions ^^" 1, 4, 5, 9, 15, 26, 30, 32, 38, 41, 42, 48? hope it's not too many, I'm really curious. I don't know many other MD'ers

Aaa thank you!! I don’t mind at all, I’ll do my best to answer them! I’m just now starting to be more open about my daydreaming, since I’m learning more about it and trying to understand myself better, so knowing other people who experience this is really helpful!!

1. For me the repetitive motion is pacing/running, though I pace most of the time. It’s possible for me to daydream without doing those things, although the daydreams I have when I’m sitting still or lying down are more low key and calm compared to the ones I have while moving around (most of the time, anyway).

4. Honestly, the perspective depends on what type of daydream I’m having or what’s going on. It tends to be third-person perspective, like I’m watching the events take place the same way I would watch a movie, but then other times (and what usually ends up happening) I take on the role of a character within the daydream, but it’s someone who isn’t actually me. Since a lot of my daydreams are TF2 related, the characters I tend to sort of gravitate towards and assume the roles of in daydreams are almost always Sniper, Medic, Scout, Spy, or Miss Pauling (I can take on roles of other characters, but these are the ones I daydream as the most). I guess you could say these are my avatars, but they change depending on what scenario I’m daydreaming about. However, I can interact with my paras as myself and not as someone else, but that usually happens if I’m stressed, anxious or bored.

In my non-TF2 daydreams, my avatar is a fictionalized version of myself called ‘Sapphire’, and Sapphire is basically me just with less anxiety over things. They’re everything I would like to be in real life, like the dress the way I would want to dress and they speak the way I wish I could speak, and usually I’m them in daydreams where I’m internet-famous in some way or where I do something really great.

5. I don’t really have linear daydreams?? They’re more like...episodic adventures that don’t really connect to each other. I mean they can, and they have before, but I get bored or certain plots quickly or they can sometimes get violent in ways I really don’t want them to, so I quickly abandon them to start a new, more comforting one.

9. Honestly...before I knew anything about maladaptive daydreaming, I was really ashamed of it. I mean, it was fun and I enjoyed it, and I always loved that it gave me ideas for stories (I have always loved writing), but my parents thought it was weird and they let me know they thought it was weird pretty much from the very beginning. They also tried to get me to stop doing it more than once, and didn’t understand that it was something out of my control. So for a long time I was super embarrassed by it and I thought there was something wrong with me, but it wasn’t until very recently that I discovered it and found out it was something lots of other people did.

15. Almost all of my paras are adopted from fiction, and they always have been, ever since I was a very small child. I only have a small handful of paras that are versions of real people in my life, and these include my girlfriend, a few friends I’ve had over the years, my old youth leaders from Sunday school, and also a few celebrities (although I don’t daydream about the celebrities much anymore).

26. I do actually! I act out my daydreams when I’m alone, mostly, or in the shower. But sometimes I can’t control it and I do things or make facial expressions that correlate with whatever’s happening in the daydream, and I have been caught doing this on more than one occasion, and it’s always weird to have to justify it to someone who doesn’t get it. I also do speak to my paras out loud, or for them, when things get either really intense or really funny (I have laughed out loud or quoted random vines SO many times because of daydreaming scenarios, but literally everyone in my life is used to it by now), and also I sing sometimes.

30. I don’t need music to daydream, but I like to have it because it adds a lot to the experience. I wear headphones, but I don’t always pay attention to how loud the music can get, and I do worry a lot about accidentally damaging my hearing through doing this but my hearing is fine according to hearing tests I’ve done, so at the moment I’m good.

32. It’s very energizing to me! Especially when I think of a good plot, it actually wakes me up a little. However pacing for a long time makes me very tired, and when that happens I have to pause my daydreams to do something else for a while. But like an hour or so later, I go right back to doing it.

38. I talk with my real-person paras whenever I’m daydreaming a conversation I’d like to have with them, but with my fictional paras, I tend to get into discussions with them when I’m stressed or upset. They give me advice if I need it and they’ll also let me vent, but most of the time they do something to distract me from what’s going on, like holding my hand or telling me a story about themselves.

41. My very first experience with maladaptive daydreaming happened when I was in first grade. My teacher had yelled at me about something I did, and she punished me by making me sit out in the hallway away from everyone else. I remember I was sitting there sobbing and wishing I could go home, when I suddenly just started imagining Team Rocket from Pokémon (I was a HUGE fan of Pokémon, and I loved Team Rocket) coming in and taking me out of school with them to go to the mall and watch movies at the theatre. It was very comforting, and for about a year or so I would daydream stories about hanging out with Team Rocket. They were my first paras, I guess you could say, and I actually really miss them sometimes.

42. I didn’t really know it was different until my parents started asking about it. I think they thought at first that I just had a really active imagination, but when I got older and I kept doing it, they started wondering if something was wrong with me. When I was first diagnosed with autism, my mother asked the psychologist about my pacing and my daydreams, and the psychologist essentially was like ‘it’s harmful and it needs to stop’. I remember being asked, “Are you going to keep pacing when you’re in college? When you’re married? Do you really want to keep doing this? You have to stop sometime,” jokes on that psychologist, because it’s been over a decade since she said that and I am in college now and I STILL do this! In all seriousness fuck that bitch

48. Oh yeah, I’ve had to edit my daydreams more than once. Usually if something gets too weird or fucked up or violent, I’ve had to sort of slam the brakes and backtrack to try again. Sometimes it’s hard to get out of those scenarios, though, and it can get really scary or sad sometimes, and afterwards I feel really exhausted and upset. That doesn’t happen a lot, though, thankfully, but when it does happen it’s really unpleasant.

#ask #answered #ask game #maladaptive daydreaming #madd #just me things #tf2 #hope this makes sense #lol #im kinda jumbled cause i dont get to talk about it a lot and its just really nice to get a chance to do so

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