#it's causing me to spiral a bit

[halinski]

✌

#i have barely been online lately anyway so it wont make much of a differnce #but im fucking off for a few days #the new job keeps me occupied #and well #i thought i was doing okay with ignoring the trash movie and my bitterness #but it turns out im not (: #but hey i have multiple mental disorders/illnesses so like fucking sue me #i'm mad/crazy/whatever #emotionally unstable #if i were a werewolf i'd go off into the woods full shift without a word for a few months #if not forever #anyway #it's causing me to spiral a bit #so yeah #fuck that show for doimg this to my emotions #this is why i never ever get attached to things ever again lmao #or refrain letting my true feelings #bc it ugly #but anyway #see ya soon #ignore me

[heart-of-the-morningstar]

I realized I haven’t posted any pictures of myself here in a while…so hi! I’m Kelley 🥰

#me #mine #my face #selfie #selfies #peep the Luci inspired nails lol #i’m so normal i promise #plus I lost like 50lbs since the start of the year 😋 #gotta stay positive since yesterday’s drama caused me to spiral a little bit

[treasureplcnet]

you think i can't keep talking about karl and esther you are so wrong btw episode four timestamp 34:40 he hesitates before rubbing her back, comforting her the way a parent or guardian might. the whole tube scene is karl finally deciding he has to do this ("i'm here, and i'm not going anywhere, i promise") he still HESITATES because he knows he's probably not the right man for the job. he's the man that got her stuck in this problem in the first place. but they've only got each other and he has to try. does it hurt that the moment he finally builds this resolve and determination to leave it all behind and to actually fight for something that matters to him and admit that, even though he hasn't known her for long, he cares about this girl like she's family, esther is murdered and it totally consumes him? does it hurt that he's then framed for her death even though he just spent the last 24 hours killing and taking revenge in her name? not only because he knows he's a dead man, but also because he's out of options to do something that matters, and what else can he do with his grief other than inflict it onto others? yeah it hurts a lot actually

#FUCK YOU NETFLIX FOR THIS!!!!!!!!!! IM FIXATED ON THE 8 EP MINISERIES!!!!!!! #excuse me everyone i am midway thru my second real rewatch #bodies netflix #karl weissman #sorry that this crypost is very similar to the previous one i wrote but it gets me #next up probably: meta about the lamp in the synagogue cause im still obsessed with how he glares at it #i think i should do a bit of light reading because i know nothing about any religion. so whatever i believe about this #(karl being at his lowest and bringing polly to kill her in a synagogue like a big 'witness this' to god) #might be slightly off. its ok. ill come back with slightly less than coherent rambling #dearheartdont who rbed that last massive wall of text left a tag on the other post: #'‘Karl seems to take a lot of negative actions against him as his due’ ‘but when it’s Esther it’s so so different’' #which actually i think sent me into some kind of spiral

[blujayonthewing]

WELL I still have two hours of daylight left but I'm cold and I should probably eat something, so, I'm gonna try to take a SHORT break and see how much more I can get done tonight while I can still see what I'm doing

#in theory it might be cool to be building a spider web at dusk but in practice even if I had a headlamp it's only gonna get colder :') #the good news is the spiral bits go way faster than the framework #AND if I DON'T get it all the way done tonight (I probably won't) then I most likely won't need to fuck around with the ladder anymore today #once the web starts getting big it's EXTREMELY ANNOYING cause you gotta keep going up and down and moving the ladder :') #'make a smaller web' no #about me #spider #spiders #spiderweb

[jazzzzzzhands]

Isn't Painting Fun??

#i actually started this before the update but i got very very caught up in the secrets! i found everything so far i think. im still hunting! #this is my irl fingerpainting! now my art can be with wally <33 #im not experienced in making creepy or scary things! but im trying! im getting attatched to the airbrush tho!! #wally darling #welcome home #whps #fanart #wh spoilers #only cause the spiral i think #i feel so so something! like i ate an entire buffet in one bite!! #holy shit there was so muchhhh!! #i could listen to the audios all day #everyone else is having wally dreams and im SO JEALOUS!! #please please i want to help himmmm #but i had to finish this a bit quickly bc the more i look at my art the more i pick it apart so let me throw this into the void! #oh! i forgot tags! #jazzart #tw scopophobia #creepy warning #hnnnn everything on the site is just soo SOOO!!! #UWAAAAAAAA!!! #experimental art

[designernishiki]

just a thought but like. if akiyama, who’s established as being a bizarrely talented investigator in y5, suspected kiryu’s death to have been faked (or at least “fishy” in his own words) basically on the fucking Spot, i feel like it just makes sense that majima would’ve been just as quick, if not quicker to see where shit wasn’t adding up and become skeptical that the whole thing was a coverup. reason being, in y5 he put shit together and figured out the grand scheme going on so damn early most people didn’t even suspect yet that there was any scheme going on. he then faked his own death well enough to get it in the papers and had masterminded himself all the way to the final boss (with some help of course) before things backfired on him. so he’s got some crazy good skills when it comes to reading people, figuring out their intentions, putting puzzle pieces together, etc– way better than he wants people knowing, generally– and he knows the hallmark signs of a faked death because he’s literally done it before. all that on top of knowing kiryu like the back of his hand and knowing damn well how hard this man is to kill, and how prone to running away from shit for the sake of the safety of people he cares about (for better or for worse) he is. he could absolutely put together that, if given the opportunity by some faction or powerful individual, kiryu would sacrifice his identity and status as a legit living person for the assured safety of others, or for yakuza tensions to diminish, or maybe even as an act of self-flagellation.

tldr: I think the reasons majima didn’t go rogue/apeshit after kiryu’s alleged death are that A) for once he has saejima around to reign him in and make it feel less like Everything has been lost, B) I think he’s legitimately known pretty much all along that kiryu didn’t die that day; nor would he believe it unless he saw it with his own eye.

#however. I also think it would clash with his tendency to be way more cynical and nihilistic than his persona makes him seem #like I do think he’d be pretty fucking sure in his gut And with his logic that kiryu wasn’t dead #but there’d be a pesky depressive part of him that’d scold him for being too idealistic or hopeful in a world that’s so fond of #torturing him. he doesn’t think himself Lucky to say the least. but if he held out hope for saejima while he was on death row for literally #years and saejima did make it back to him in one piece eventually– he’d have some ammo to reason with himself if that makes sense #that + I feel like saejima upon hearing him spiral into supposedly ‘realistic’ nihilism would Strongly reassure him #via reminding him that HE made it back to majima in the end. and that saejima himself knows from experience what a faked death feels like #and how holding onto hope Can in fact be fruitful in the end. overall a bad time for majima after kiryu’s fake death obviously but #he’d be surprisingly stable with all that going for him. makes me think he and saejima would really be the ones keeping daigo from falling #apart. considering he doesn’t have basis for the kind of hope they’re capable of having. almost everyone important to daigo dies eventually #his dad. mine right in front of him. now kiryu. boy must have abandonment issues off the damn charts. #I also like to think he hung around shinada a bit after that incident to just have Something good and pure in his life occasionally. but #he’d be cautious and occasional about it out of fear that he’d ruin shinada’s life or cause him trouble #anyway. many thoughts about all this. they didn’t dive nearly enough into the old guard characters’ reactions to kiryu’s ‘death’ so. yeah #rambling #y6 #majima #kazumaji

[galaxygermdraws]

The S8 nostalgia continues to hit so I drew all of Boatem. This. Took. Nearly 3 days to render. Because I decided to render all of them individually, and by that I mean each of them have their own layers. Was that an unhinged decision of me to make? Yea. But, the final result is something I am really happy with!

(reblogs with comments/tags are appreciated. I will be putting the individual stills of each member under the cut. Thankyu)

#hermitcraft #hermitcraft s8 #hermitblr #Boatem crew #boatem #mumbo jumbo #impulsesv #pearlescentmoon #grian #goodtimeswithscar #tw eye contact #tw bright colors #cause yea some of these colors are a bit bright #tw scars #ask to tag #germdraws #germ draws #im so glad this is done i started this on the 23rd i think. im. it wasnt supposed to be a finished piece #it was gonna be just me concepting their designs #but then it spiraled #i do rlly like it tho

[dysfunctionaldogdude]

I feel like actually shit like the entirety of last week getting to me. I wish I could have a moment of actual relaxation and not just me forgetting I have shit to do.

(Tag warning-> depressing talk, dark topics)

Might delete this idk..

#vent post #tag rambles #I have over 60 different things to fill out that I need to do by tomorrow and I forgot to do them. I feel so stupid #I actually hate having adhd #people try to make it out to be just a quirky thing that its not that big of a deal or anything #but it's not #it impairs on relationships #I struggle to remember important things that I need to do and even WANT to do. I struggle so bad #I even have fights with people about me being a “liar” even though I'm not #I just have a shit ass memory I feel useless 90% of the time and shit #gods and I doubt it's just me having adhd. Im pretty sure its my possibility of having bpd and autism #i show all symptoms of bpd and I relate far too much with autism videos #like this is stuff active in my daily life #people don't see it often due to have carefully Ive crafted.. this is going to sound a bit fannibal of me but literally a person suit #i swear a person suit #it's not even funny #gods i just wish I could function without getting all up and arms about how much of a pos I feel #if I don't get attention from.. basically.. my fp I get all sad and melancholy. i spiral #I'm pretty sure I have at least three fps #if I even have bpd #but gods #just so stupid how I can barely fucking function without all of these crutches #I'm not in a certian program anymore for a thing and now I can't fuction and work how I use to since it was a slower environment #I'm failing #like I won't be able to make it I feel like #not suicide or anything #just in things I wanted to do #feels like my future is doomed cause life keeps throwing curve balls at me #someone with at least two mental disabilities #i definitely have more

[nerdy-girlramblings]

The amount of drafts I delete because I'm afraid of getting hate comments due to the few times it has happened before is ridiculous

#I wish I had more confidence #and I know that the vast majority of interactions on my posts are nice #but all it takes is one bad interaction to cause me to spiral and not post anything for a bit #and then I'll think about deleting my account #it sucks #nerdygirlramblings

[simplee-giggles]

Don't mind me just rambling in the tags

#genuinely thought i was getting better with the way i looked #today was not one of those days #my jeans felt a bit tight and that triggered a wave of hatred #im a size 16 and i spent YEARS trying to convince myself it wasnt disgusting #like i genuinely am a healthy person #i eat healthy #i exercise #but im still fat #and i fucking hate it right now #i hate the way i look #i dont want a stomach that sticks out or a fucking massive chin #why am i spiralling after years of training myself out of it #i said no to so much food today cause i was panicking #please god dont let me fall into ED again

[anaalnathrakhs]

wait, 8 years old kid, you can be alone all day but we'll drive all the mandatory stuff ourselves! wait, 12 years old kid, you're too independant! wait, 14 years old kid, come sit with us instead! wait, 17 years old kid, i'll take the car and pick you up 800 meters away from home! wait, 18 years old kid, don't you know how difficult and hard and painful it was for us when you didn't do activities you don't like with us, back then!

wait, 18 years old kid, i don't understand why you're not more independant if you want it so badly, after all it's normal at your age!

#perhaps one should lift one's nose from the medical textbooks and realize that child devleoppement happens in real time #and is very dependant on many many factors unique to each kid #which perhaps maybe mayhaps means. that kids. especially kids that are a little bit unusual in as of yet undetermined way. should be treate #ACCORDING TO WHAT THEY ACT LIKE #''oh but the doctor said we shouldn't worry'' IT'S A BEHAVIORAL ISSUE #IF A BEHAVIOR IS CAUSING TROUBLE (ESPECIALLY IF IT'S CAUSING TROUBLE FOR THE KID ITSELF) #THEN YOU SHOULD TRY HELPING IT REGARDLESS OF IF IT IS AN ESTABLISHED COMPLETE MEDICAL DIAGNOSED PATHOLOGY #fuck #the downward spiral was engaged EARLY #like okay i was an asshole my whole life. until the mystery magical cutoff where it became okay and normal to act the same way. #bc now that's the age Normal People do this Normal Thing #all while completely neglecting to tell me that now it's normal and it's not a burdensome tolerance that is generously granted to me #and NOW im a weirdo asshole irrational illogical spoiled lazy entitled child for managing to force the behavior that they used to want #and not constantly hiding the troubles it can cause me often #all while they remain blissfully ignorant of WHY acting like that was more comfortable for me despite me yknow. telling them outright. #no ''well this makes sense in hindsight'' just ''well it seemed weird at the time so yknow. justified.'' #sorry your parenting has consequences <3 #broadcasting my misery #vent

[liebelesbe]

I think ppl assume you're a woman because of the lesbian flag in your pfp

Nvm my previous ask. I got confused, because I didn't get enough sleep. Carry on and have a great day!

I know you said nevermind, but: hnggrks

#ouch oof‚ even. #luckily on this blog I have pronouns in my bio so people don't have to assume anything #but also. I am too deep in nonbinary lesbianism I forgot that a lot of (probably most) lesbians are women... #ask #my gender is lesbian my gender is right there in my profile picture!! #sorry anon but this is causing me to spiral a bit

[daffythefox]

those small jokes and jabs some people will make at you when you’re friends with them like. they just wear me down so much. like I could have a face up for multiple hours and be relatively fine and then they could start doing that (like. I mess up slightly and they make a joke at my expense, or someone points out something I’m sensitive about for a joke, or someone makes a joke where the punchline is “hey you seem like you’re barely holding in your emotions) all of a sudden it’s nine times the work to be out and social without acting like a total dick (shooting back with something that plays on their insecurities as well so they sill stop pressing me) or having to leave because I’m about to break down, which is incredibly embarrassing and makes me feel like I’m just making a show so other people will feel guilty (not that I’m worried they will feel guilty, I’m worried they will think I will want them to feel guilty and that they will see me as lesser for that instead). “get something you’re fine with people joking about so they will make jokes about that and it won’t hit you as hard” why are you entitled to being able to make jokes at my expense? maybe I don’t want you to make fun of me at all!

#actually npd #anything I can perceive as criticism #also when you're in that state and people will like. go easy on you or make consolations so you feel better #that makes me feel SO MUCH WORSE #like just fucking treat me normal and I'll calm down #no 'hey are you ok?? you seem really wound up :(' in front of EVERYBODY #and I'll have to either fake good enough to be able to convince the others I'm fine (which is impossible #bc it's in their heads that you're not fine and at that point you probably don't have a good enough face to fool everybody) #or I'll take a jab at them like 'really? i seem wound up? gosh! you have amazing observational skills. someone needs to get you a medal!' #which subtly tells them to DROP THE SUBJECT #bc if you don't I'll CONTINUE BEING RUDE TO YOU #no but sometimes that also doesn't work and they keep pressing and that's when I have to step away or bluntly change the subject #and then i also hold a grudge against them for doing so when they were probably just concerned about my well-being #they just didn't get the (albeit relatively obvious) social cues #that's not their fault but it is also incredibly annoying in the moment bc it is causing me to continue spiraling #a bit of a vent #also merry christmas #me when i

[idsb]

I am feeling so fucking anxious about my job and idk why

#someone at work was acting a bit flirty at a work thing 2 days ago but they were trashed #so I just rolled my eyes and didn’t intervene just kinda took it #but their s/o observed it and now my hours have been cut for an extremely legitimate reason but I’m kinda just like 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 #SPIRALING #is it related to they hate me is everything ruined #should I have shut it down I thought it was harmless drunk idiocy but what if I caused a Problem idk idk idk idk #vomit vomit vomit

[queerbuckleys]

giffing the santa visit, and we really let them do that. like the look on buck’s face as he watches eddie take christopher? the little laugh and hand move he does before saying thank you? bonkers, truly.

#like i think everything that has happened since then is wild #but this little sliver not 10 episodes into knowing eddie #7 into knowing chris #theres this little mopment that is so precious #its nearly 1 am and im spiraling #911 #buddie #aj rambles #anywho making each gif 118 frames but thats just for me cause im a little bit unhinged

[adelle-ein]

increasingly discovering that i can use slay the princess tactically to scare myself and stop ocd obsessions

#if i just. watch scary bits. boom #much better to think the nightmare is going to come out of my closet and kill me #than [redacted] is going to come out of my closet and cause Immense Moral Decay #is this going to kick off an interest in horror media entirely revolving around watching it on youtube at strategic times to clip short #ocd spirals lmao #doesn't seem healthy but hey #txt