#it's not my place to speak on the other racial stuff tho

[bodrewritten]

Sorry I haven't been updating the 10 year old my little pony fanfiction rewrite. The Kendrick v. Drake beef is fucking insane like it's Ja Rule all over again 💀 I been praying on that corny mfs downfall, god is good 😭🙏🏼

#drake has exploited and fetishized black women and children an played into the stereotypes plaguing the black community #hes a deadbeat a poser a human trafficker and worst of all he's goofy asf #mlp fim #my little pony friendship is magic #announcement #updates #kendrick lamar #drizzy drake #the beef #diss track #hip hop #rap #it's not my place to speak on the other racial stuff tho #ja rule

[decolonize-the-left]

Hi I've had an influx of followers again so I wanna say hi and tell y'all a little what I'm about.

So hi, I'm decol. I'm a grown Ojibwe leftist living with my trans gf and my kid ❤️

You may have noticed I posted a lot of politics. Lately it's been Free Palestine but thats because it became my new normal. Before I became so focused on Palestinians liberation tho, I posted a lot more other things. Human rights, trans rights, women's rights, Im mentally ill and AuDHD and post about mental illness stigma, landback, calling out white supremacy, decolonization, etc. My blog has been political for along time but always on the side of human rights and fighting oppression. But that's just liberal stuff. What makes me a leftist is that I don't believe states or borders are good for people.

Let's get into why that is.

I support life and believe that a state or government fundamentally opposes life.

I also support whatever means necessary the oppressed seek to gain freedom. I don't think it's my place or anyone else's to say liberation can only look one way. Especially when it's often from privilege and a myopic view of comfort that most us speak.

There wouldn't be so many people being oppressed if there weren't so many people dedicated to their own comfort instead of liberation. Nobody should have to Vote to have human rights and if in fact any oppressed people had allies we would not have had to march for them either. We shouldn't have to earn our human rights from a majority that didn't want us to vote in the first place and nobody should have to do it now.

I think voting therefore is also a fundamentally flawed system that no amount of voting blue will change because it is not the Votes that must change, but the people who are casting them. It's the people in the majority who are not demanding equality and the people in the majority who are leaving others to fight for themselves.

But I do unfortunately live in a society that continues to use and weaponize that system anyway for their bi-annual puppet theater where they watch BIPOC fight and bid on who will give us more rights .

I think few people see this for what it is and even less are willing to demand the change necessary to give all people a proper and equal voice. Such is the nature of the majority is it not? They may pretend to hate injustice but remember that myopic view of comfort they have? Injustice is included with it, free of charge.

So yeah, you will see me advocate for certain things on this blog that may contradict the views I've stated at first glance. But It's just me working within the framework that I have been given.

For example I'll push for presidential candidates despite the fact that I support Landback and believe voting is flawed and the country is fascist. Because I know we are far from an organized revolution full of intersectional solidarity and realistically I must work within the framework I have. Which is a shitty voting system and a population who doesn't even fully realize why it's so shitty.

Or you'll see me support violence when I support saving lives. And that's because I also believe the language of the oppressor is violence and likewise that anyone who's ever tried catering to their "better conscience" has found that oppression wouldn't exist if the oppressors had a conscience to appeal to. Violence is the answer sometimes and I've found that sometimes it's the only answer that a state will understand.

To that end...I don't want to hear about any state military anywhere. Every single military on earth has done some seriously fucked up shit. I know this. You know this. I don't support any military anywhere. Period.

I don't think anyone is innocent either. As I've gotten older I've realized it's been made clear that race and religion are part of everything including our headlines today and that's it's been that way for a long time. Even freedom and liberation and oppression have been racialized and as a native 'leftist extremist' I've seen that firsthand. I've learned that both sides will lie to make the other look bad without taking accountability for whatever awful thing they did themselves.

Power corrupts. And it's why I support principles and ideas behind a movement and not necessarily the specific people of it or even the movement itself and it's why I will ALWAYS disregard any attempt to undermine a movement because the people leading it were found to have flaws. Of course they did. And of course they're being politicized. Such is the reality of the Us vs Them political landscape. Anything to make the other guy look bad.

It's up to us who were going to stand behind despite their flaws. It's up to us to decide what principles matter to us. And I refuse to let perfection be the enemy of progress. Because I understand a lot of people in 2024 have been spoon fed puritan ideas that have made them believe most movements are not good enough to support. Either they don't follow their ideology perfectly or their tactics are too aggressive or their goals are "unrealistic." It's always something.

I don't subscribe to this puritan 2.0 logic. Nor do I believe that it should apply to everyone. I didn't ask to be held under a microscope for example. I'm just a Tumblr blogger. Yeah I blog about a lot of politics and such but that's because I like politics and such lol I'm not a representation of anything but myself, but you'll find I too have been politicized in ongoing race and theological wars. "Why would you say x if you support y?" says anon in another attempt to make all supporters of Y look unreliable and bad for their opinions on X. As if my singular bad opinion is somehow a representation of everyone else who supports Y and not just my opinion specifically on x.

I also want to be very clear that I'm still learning :)

I don't know everything about everything yet and as such I'm sure I'll fuck up or say the wrong things or use the wrong terminology sometimes.

Please just give me a heads up. Don't be a puritan about it and make a whole post about how ignorant and harmful I am or something, especially when it's been made clear my intentions are not to offend or exclude anyone and I would Never intentionally do anything like that.

I try to educate myself on topics before I speak about them but lots of the things I discuss on my blog require a lot of knowledge to be spoken on in confidence. I am often not confident lol. As a native tho it annoys me to no end when people use the excuse that "well I didn't know enough about the topic so I stayed silent and didn't share opinions on it at all ever" because that's also a puritan act thats detrimental to movement and helps to maintain our status as 'Irrelevant Concern.' So I try to educate myself and show support, tho sometimes it isn't as well worded or educated as it should have been.

All I ask is you have some grace when that happens as I have good intentions. Additionally if I ever fuck up Please tell me. I do not ever want to make someone feel like shit cuz or singled out cuz I said something ignorant I shouldn't have.

Some people choose comfort and don't acknowledge when they fucked up. I try to pride myself on Not doing that and correcting myself where others can see and learn from it too.

Not everyone wants to learn tho. Those are the people I don't understand. Those are my opposers; the people standing indifferently in the way of progress while oppressed fathers beg for them to move aside. And what is he to do with the child dying in his arms? Just allow this man to keep being the only obstacle to saving them? Of course not.

And so I aggressively and vehemently stand by the opinion that self defense in this way is never wrong. Let all the ignorant white supremacists die if they have to and let all their allies cry about it. I don't care. White supremacists fundamentally oppose life which I support. And so I fundamentally oppose white supremacy the same way I do a state and as such I openly call for their destruction as well.

This is getting long so I'll wrap it up.

TLDR:

Human rights are to be taken by any means necessary if they were not given to you. The people with-holding them don't get to complain about how you get them and either does anyone else especially if they aren't helping you get them now. Additionally, people should be given room to grow but choosing not to grow is a choice too so don't tolerate the intolerant who stands in your way. If you can cut him down then do it.

PS:

My asks are always open. I get a lot of mean, bad faith asks and so I answer most asks with this mindset and I'm trying to be better about it but if you send one in good faith and my attitude sucks, please don't take it personally.

P.p.s

I share a lot of politics and upsetting things and images on my blog. I don't feel the need to tag every post because So Many of them are this way..

However, the posts that are especially bad ARE tagged

My trauma/trigger tag is: decolstw

This is a catch-all tag. Gore, white supremacist violence, historical hate crimes, and the like are all tagged with this.

#decols post #decols opinion #my post #you can reblog this im mostly just mostly sharing this for new followers who are confused and lost if my asks are any representation lol

[makwandis]

Mmmmm my take on drawing/portraying America or Canada as racialized people is that well its all in good fun but like if you poke a little deeper at . That idea. It can be quite sinister. Like to speak from my own Lane™️ the idea of some ...native person representing Canada or America it's just like... talk about a fuckin apple. Lol. I understand why people do it especially other poc and especially other natives but like at the same time it does seem to me that it'd just be coming from a place that shows ya don't know much abt what's going on in the front lines and how many of our people reject that Canadian and American identity outright and have very little to do w it. I know people who's kids were born in land occupied by Canada who refuse to register them with birth certificates and stuff because they're so against being Canadian. I know a lot of people myself included who take offense to that word Canadian we aren't none of that we been around much longer than even the countries the people who created Canada come from.

I think a native Canada (n I speak on that bc that's more my experience than with usa but ik it's similar lol) would be a level of fuckin...white washing appleness that would just be bizarre. . Like how would this native Canada person just not go "Hey Mr prime minister go fuck yourself". How would this native Canada person call themselves that when Canada barely exists and couldn't exist without treaty. Like. It is weeeeeird. I get we want representation but how about scrap America scrap Canada they are lame anyways and just make amazing ocs.... or you can change the whole story snd that Matthew Williams fella could be native still and maybe the Canadians think he's Canada but he knows he isn't and is doing stuff to like....fuck over the country. Idk man.

Have fun but also don't tell me it's something well thought out bc I don't think it really is most of the time... I like seeing some good fan art but I rlly dl think a native so called "canada" or "america" would need one hell of a backstory for it to make...sense and not just be some weird shit ya know.

But yeah hetalia is white af the source material is all about these dumb white boys. I think we should just step away from it and make ocs ngl.

Don't take this harshly tho.... i don't mean to hate on anyone especially other natives end of the day I get it it's a comfort thing fuck it we aren't actually harming our people . Maybe we are letting non natives think the wrong stuff but they do that anyways lol . But the conversation is interesting

#hetalia discourse #that is my two cents #id like to talk to other natives abt it tho bc i do have more thoughts but like i dont think non native audience would get it at all haha

[staylavendertea]

ya head canons cause my brain won’t leave me alone

billy is low key a skater boy - he skateboards 🛹🛹 converse high tops, ripped black jeans with bandaids on his knees, and oversized stolen boyfriend jean jackets rolled sleeves god yes he skates 🛹🛹 he and tommy will team up just to be bastards for like ten minutes and do that synchronized talking just to both annoy and creep the hell out of eli and kate

tommy is a rollerskater - and roller blades - the twins are skaters, he totally would have been a roller derby kid i tell you, also quoting everything he hears on the internet “what are you doing out here with all that ass double checked up on a thursday afternoon hella ass” “tommy that’s just a fat pigeon stOP” and even tho he did have a hard time for a while to open up to everyone and be emotional in front of the people he loves, with the help of everyone, he’s slowly learning he can confine in people and have relationships and bonds and that enough is to make me cry at night, i love thomas shepherd and his character so much

kate is always hung over, even when she isn’t - sunglasses on, looking like every day is too much for her head to handle especially with all these dumbass clumsy boys she gotta deal with, just let her chill with cassie at lakes and look at fireflies, but that lake better have good service so she can text billy the first scoop on that celebrity goosip - they’ve been following this shit for weeks, phone service don’t let her down now

teddy is an artist, sketching like always ya know, usually billy ends up unconsciously being most of the drawings, but his favorites to use is watercolor, pretty flat colors and making his friends look all blushy in drawings, the group doesn’t believe him when he says that they’re all cute so he’s made it his life goal to keep complimenting him cause he’s the nicest boy alive - a stranger calls bee cute, teddy will nod and agree because truetrue, but will send a semi threatening death glare

nate is like the teenager that will go on walks by himself and end up stumbling upon abandoned and creepy places and then either like billy/eli/or cassie ends up getting a call at one in the morning because he got either kinda lost or kinda stuck and the gang needs to come get him - he and eli probably have matching jojo clothing merch but eli is a repressed nerd so rip nate who just wants to have matching jojo sweatpants when they go work out together

eli may or may not have done the jojo pose trend of anime characters in the studio he does his boxing and martial arts, katie and cassie may or may not both of saved the video, eli is actually a total repressed nerd but won’t admit it and tommy can totally see it, nate can also see it, why do you think these three argue so much - nate just wants to be anime buddies i tell you - eli is someone who feels very strongly about injustice and gets emotional when all his friends back him up when he speaks out about it - please i need to see eli bradley in more comic books, give him and tommy the fame they deserve

cassie went to the broug and got herself some frogs - not only do i not know if i’m spelling that right or what it is, i just saw the tik tok and the cassie energy was too strong, she likes froggies and makes those tiny moss environments in jars and she likes to chill in nature and steal nate’s flannels and when her, katie, and billy are hanging out, cassie and billy will be gushing about boyfriends ya know with katie making gagging noises in the background

david is that dude that can just read people but is also like really chill about it “like yeah i totally just did a mental psychoanalysis on you just by who your kins are, but i know that you get kinda guarded about it so i won’t say anything because i love and respect you” i love david a lot okay, - he’s also resident technology please make work or i need you to look at this video or photo and prove this shit guy - he’s fixed poor nate has somehow flung this thing across the room like four times now phone on more occasions then he can count but he’s pretty chill about it

noh-varr is a non binary asexual dork that likes aliens and video games, he has a jacket that’s green and has a human getting picked up by a ufo that only says “fuck this. i’m out.” 🛸🛸 and him and katie have given poor mom of the group teddy a heart attack on more than one occasion being deadass serious about storming area 51

america has got her hat on backwards and is ready to fucking party and to mess around with her friends, the best part of her day is to get stuck in abandoned places and flirt with katie, her and noh varr go randonauting like every other day and get so lost, then her and the chaotic twins team up to be mischievous little bastards, her and teddy did pride and racial injustice movement graffiti that one time and she really just here to be the most badass around and protect their group and also like the whole world

(an extra billy one cause i relate to him on an emotional level)

billy is a film kid, like in a non powers au, he’s the dude that literally does all film related classes and is gonna be a film major and the best sfx make up artist, knows all movies/quotes/and endings - he’s the kid that knows the sfx stuff too well, he will liquid latex and cotton ball zombie your ass up if you let him to - you can’t tell me that his favorite genre of movies is horror monster and aliens, but also those pretty aesthetic romance ones that take place in country side france in small towns

these dorks also totally go to abandoned places for adventures (most of them stumbled accidentally upon by nate) and just have fun ya know

these are the most brain forth ones atm, i definitely have more, and will be adding most of these to the young avengers fics i’m working on, but please do add your own !! these dork teens are currently my everything

#young avengers #headcanon #billy kaplan #teddy altman #thomas shepherd #cassie lang #nate richards #eli bradley #kate bishop #noh varr #david alleyne #america chavez #ya #marvel

[mamusings]

Supernatural Season 1 Thoughts

So I'm rewatching mainly to distract myself from the dogs breakfast the show has descended into. But also because my feelings about the show as a whole are decidedly mixed. I come to it as a buffy fan. I've always been curious about spn as a successor show to buffy, but only watched thr first 13 seasons in 2020. Blame lockdown.

Anyway s1. Blinding start, blinding finish. But the middle is just too many MOTW episodes without enough season arc development. I keep wondering who the show is for. It feels aesthetically very male. Lots of blood, guns and violence. Well-realised horror feel - although I think it's hard to really feel fear when you dont particularly care about who might die. It's only when you threaten a major character death that things hit harder. Also the genuflecting to realism by drawing on urban myths feels like something for stereotypically 'male' rather than 'female'. Probably reflects my preferences that I was never to into the MOTW format some buffy fans loved and that I was always more interested in the story telling than realism or even consistency. Monsters as metaphors works better for me. But Spn is a much more cloistered universe. Two guys and their absent father is what s1 is about. But it dits weirdly between being comfort viewing and needing attention. There's much that starts to feel formulaic with MOTW episodes: Impala on the road scene, some rock music, an opener that gives you a new mystery and people to go with it blah blah. You can practically set your watch by the final denouement happening in the final 8 mins. It feels like the show is diligently checking off every myth and monster going which gets tedious. I found the need for setting up yet another family in danger was something that gets hard to care about. "Oh look a couple, someone's gonna die, shall I fast forward until sam and dean show up." And yet there are some interesting undercutting of the white working class vibe the show has. Two that stand out to me are: the 'female gazing' of the camera work off Sam and Dean. There's a lot of panning - are we getting in the boys with the guns and hardware and then offering up the handsome male bodies for women? I felt a little cheap, but they they are v cute. The other is having a black/bi racial woman play Dean's only serious love interest. The ghost truck thing is terrible but putting attitudes to race at the centre of this particular storyline was intriguing. Perhaps a counter balance to the overall wwc feel of things. (Full disclosure I am a black woman and I enjoyed seeing this - even tho I did have several moments of wondering was the predominant female look so uniform back then. All the girls have the same build (and did we all wear such low rise jeans?) plus long, wavy/curly hair...except Meg who basically has Sam's hairstyle ha ha)

What's impressive? The first few episodes give us a cluster of core lines: bitch/jerk, no chick flick moments, and the sibling dynamic This show hits its stride right in the pilot and wendigo is still one of the scarier episodes. Thats a really good opening shot imo.

It's no surprise that what's really riveting is Sam and Dean. But on rewatching I saw a lot more on why this is so interesting. Basically when the characters are introduced you first get Sam. He's your archetypal nice guy whis hot everything though for him. Stanford, girlfriend, friends, great test score but also and crucially hes likeable. Then you get Dean and hes introduced as a dick. Breaks in, wrestles Sam, comes on to/is sleazy with Sams gf. So cocky bad boy: check.

In the pilot dean is the annoying big brother to a t. So they set up two contrasting personalities. Dean is disrespectful to cops, Sam is embarrassed by it. Dean is into hunting, Sam is unwillingly persuaded. Dean is insensitive, Sam kinder and sweet. Dean plays dumb, Sam's the academic achiever. But what we witness over the course of the season essentially reverses this. Sam's the real rebel defying his father, Dean the obedient son. Dean gets a lot of scenes showing him make swift emotional connections esp with children or people in caretaker roles. Dean's very adult 'I'm 26 of course I go on hunts alone' is unmasked by the fact he gets Sam to help him because hes lonely. And Dean (often clumsily) tries to help Sam move on about Jess and open up about his nightmares. While the explicit dialogue casts Sam as the geeky loser brother what we see in this season is that the loser is actually Dean. Sam has friends, Sam has a relationship, Sam has a life he wants to get back to. Dean has no one and some of the hardest emotional hits this season are when his mask is lifted to show us just that. For instance shape shifter Dean voices his jealousy in Skin. Also Azazel taunts Dean about how he needs Sam and John in a way that they dont need him.

The closing episodes really bring some of these contrasts home. Dead Mans Blood gives us a great bonding scene between Sam and John, for me that's a moment where it falls into place that they so much in common that it leaves Dean on the outside. They both loved women they lost to a demon. For both of them (at this stage) the mission, as in killing this demon, matters more than family. Its Dean who constantly prioritises family, even while his family deprioritise him. Both Sam in Salvation and John in Devils Trap put sacrificing themselves to kill the demon as their first priority. Whereas Dean consistently argues for family, first persuading John that they are stronger together, then telling Sam that the three of us 'is all I have' in Salvation. The point gets hammered home in Devils Trap where Dean says (in case the stupid viewer missed it "you and Dad are a lot more alike..cant wait to sacrifice yourselves, but I'm going to be the one to bury you").

Much of the rest of the relationship development is about showing us the partnership Sam and Dean are developing. You see increasing ease in working together - maybe most cliched in how they toss weapons back and forth in Hell House. Plus that interesting sibling dynamic when you love someone and find them intensely annoying that feels enjoyable even if your own sibling relationship is nothing like it.

But what's interesting is that while Dean's character is revealed throughout the season. You see through the episodes the difference between his Dean presents himself and hiw he is, but dean doesn't change. Hes immature and emotionally driven I'd also savvy and brave. Its Sam who changes. Not in how he is, but in his priorities. Sam realises the good bit about Dean among the stuff that irritates him. But most importantly the final episode shows us Sam moving from thinking the mission is what matters just like John. To thinking his family matters more. He doesnt shoot Azazel inside John and when John berates him for it his look at the bloodied-up Dean in the rearview mirror speaks volumes.

It's all the more striking because thus argument has been the core dilemma for the last 3 episodes. It's also the crux of how Dean, for all his obedience, sees himself as falling short of who his father wants him to be. He cant turn his heart off. Its Dean who calls his dad sounding like a tearful little boy in Home. It's when John approves of him making the heart choice and using the colt to save Sam, that Dean realises it's not his father but Azazel speaking. I find that painful to watch it's been so well set up. You get lots of preview of Dean really wanting approval and when it finally comes and you're all ahh fsmily bonding, Dean puts it together and goes you're not my father. Ouch.

Absent fathers and eventually I guess an absent God is a big spn theme. So there is something to say for looking at it in this season. John's absence is the driver of the whole season. But it's also the foundation stone of both Sam and Dean's character. What we get most of in s1 is a sense of the impact of his fathers absence on Dean. The childhood neglect, but also the absence of approval. My European background always makes it jarring when children address their father as sir so I hope I'm not over reading this. When John gets back the way it emasculates Dean is jarring. The jumping to attention with the yessirs and the following orders is such a distance from the cocky law breaker. Its interesting that the first scenes in which I recall the boys speaking in unison are these yessirs. But the scene I remember most is a trivial one, Dean offers John a machete out of Babys messy looking trunk - hes already been pulled up by dad for inadequate car maintenance. But John pulls a bigger, better, cleaner machete out of his high spec truck - Dead Mans Blood. Sums it up for me. Dean is so eager for approval, his father withholds it so casually. Sam is less like this, because he had Dean to parent him however ineptly. Sam did not have a hoid parent in Dean, but Dean showed up. Sam starts to make that realisation in season 1 and there are a few thank you moments. Contrast Dean's only outburst against his father when hes admonished to call when in trouble. He takes a leaf out of Sam's book and notes that they did call in Lawrence and they called when Dean was dying in Faith, hes angry and rightly so. John didn't show. But its interesting that Dean's fight with John sounds like a child fighting with a parent. It even ends with 'I dont care for your tone' from John even as he accepts Dean's point. Constrast Sam and John who have a much deeper ongoing disagreement. But Sam fights his father from an adult position. He's not looking for approval or acceptance, Sam claims his ground, argues his point. Dean still just needs to be loved.

But as well as the impact of the absent parent there is also having grown beyond the parent. I feel like the final few episodes show us that 'the boys' have surpassed their father. John's fake colt idea is lame and Dean calls it. By contrast the devils trap at Bobby's to catch Meg feels like a moment of brilliance particularly as the trap is sprung on the viewer so we feel surprised too.. Sure they call in help from Bobby, but what they do is well planned and they pull it off. And calling in helo when you need it us grown up.

Theres an element of fate vs character exploration when it comes to Sam and Dean. What happens to Sam is fate. It's not related to how he is or how he behaves. We find that out more fully soon. Whereas what happend to Dean relates to his character. IMO Dean actually has the option of walking away from hunting that Sam tried to exercise. Unlike Sam, hunting wouldn't have pursued Dean by killing his girlfriend. But Dean's character means he doesnt chose to walk away because family is important to him, in a way that it isn't for Sam until the end of this season. Its interesting that Sam perceives of himself as having choices he doesn't have. Whereas Dean sees himself as having no choice, when in fact he does. But I guess we don't know that yet so maybe the argument doesn't work?

#supernatural #sam #dean #winchester

[dillydedalus]

2018 in books, half-time

this is some stuff about books i read so far this year and what i thought of them

also check here for a full list of what i’ve read so far, to be updated.... sometimes... when i think of it

best books so far

published this year: frankenstein in baghdad by ahmed saadawi (4/5*) (english translation at least, it’s originally from 2013 i think). tbh it’s also the only book published this year i read so far but it is really good so.

read this year: my sole 5* books this year so far are andrzej szczypiorski’s the beautiful mrs seidenman (I LOVE THIS BOOK PLS READ IT & PREPARE TO CRY ABOUT THE POLISH RESISTANCE & then talk to me about it. “a joke god tells the world called poland”) and shirley jackson’s we have always lived in the castle which was a reread but it’s perfect so WHATEVER

SOME other favs: exit west, street of crocodiles by bruno schulz, the flamethrowers by rachel kushner, the house of mirth by edith wharton (gerty/lily 4eva), the sea, the sea by iris murdoch

disappointments, just the worst etc.

i uh. REALLY didn’t like little fires everywhere. i didn’t have super-high hopes for it but i thought the topics of a superficially progressive community being confronted with their own racism & trans-racial adoption would be interesting but i found these to be really half-baked and the characters are just insufferable, especially the ones you are supposed to like (they are so SPECIAL and DIFFERENT and TALENTED guys!!!) and mia’s art is pretty cringe.

also, life of pi, which i read for uni, is mostly meh, a bit drawn out and kitschy but the tiger is cool but then at the end it hits you with that smug bullshit about how you prefer the story you just spent 300+ pages with to the one that is told over like. 2.5 pages AND THAT’S WHY YOU SHOULD BELIEVE IN GOD which is like... shut the fuck up yann martel

new releases that i want to read this year

tfw u preorder a book that’s not supposed to be out for another week and amazon forgets and sends it to you immediately anyway: naomi novik’s spinning silver. i adored uprooted with all my heart so my hopes are HIGH #dontletmedown

tommy orange’s there there

the winds of winter. I WANT TO BELIEVE & i will speak it into existence

the merry spinster. i love daniel ortberg and this year seems like a good year for fairy-tale retellings (@self bloody chamber when???)

the monster baru cormorant: in the first book baru did some things that i’m genuinely not sure she (or the book) can come back from so i’m excited (?) to see where this goes

biggest surprises

lmao i kinda expected to hate or at least be really bored with middlemarch because i don’t always vibe with those really long victorian novels. it’s good tho & i love dorothea with all my heart and also rosamond who is The Worst but really awesome at being The Worst

the short synopsis of the sea the sea sounds pretty boring which is why i always kind of avoided it but it is so good and fucking wild! i really didn’t know anything except ‘old theatre dude buys house by the sea & writes his memoirs’ and then every 30 pages the book just throws a curveball at you it’s great

the berlin library system FINALLY getting overdrive so i can read books on my phone at work lmao #bossmakesadollarimakeadime

best short stories

(i like short stories but the collections are usually a bit of a mixed bag so they rarely make it on the favs list)

“the tiger’s bride” by angela carter - see below

“the weirdoes” and “a better place” by ottessa moshfegh (homesick for another world): ottessa moshfegh writes awful, gross and unhinged people really well and these two were my faves

“arabella” by agnes owens: i found the complete collection of her stories to be so bleak and dreary that it got kinda boring but this one is dark-humour gem

“the husband stitch” by carmen maria machado (her body and other parties): i was overall a bit disappointed with this collection (tho i did have really high expectations so the disappointment is relative) but this one is just perfect. cw for BEING A WOMAN WHICH IS AWFUL

“the screwfly solution” by james tiptree jr. (her smoke rose up forever): this story fucked me the fuck up. it’s good but uh cw for.... femicide basically it’s a fun read

resolutions, challenges etc.

goodreads challenge: 53/90 books

my resolutions: read more german books (not going well at all lol), read more books in translation (going okay-ish), graphic novels (doing okay), books set in the MENA region (okay-ish), books set in scotland (not good), general diversity (going really well)

read some of the books.... i already have & have had forever.... instead of buying new books (guess how this is going)

best uni reading “THE TIGER’S BRIDE” BY ANGELA CARTER bc i too want to marry a sexy tigermonster! who doesn’t! exit west is really good too but to be fair i’d already read it before that seminar

themes that kept coming up for some reason

tigers! just tigers everywhere. humanoid tigers that are maybe kinda sexy, tigers on a boat that may be a symbol for blabla SHUT UP YANN JUST LET RICHARD PARKER BE A TIGER WHO DOES TIGER STUFF, to the unseen demonic forces whose name you cannot speak for fear in the sundarbans (the hungry tide) to... i’m sure there’s more tigers & i will take this as a sign that i should get a cat. or two. 

you know that abduction as romance trope video that’s going around right now? guess whose trash ass loves that trope. 

border crossing & that sort of thing. to be fair that’s the topic of one of my seminars but it also happened all the time elsewhere so we’re counting it

#this is really long and self-indulgent #but whatever. it's happening #the books i read

[habibialkaysani]

on the ableism in black lightning

so I’m going to preface this post with a disclaimer on my own background. I am an able-bodied desi muslim queer cis woman. I’m not going to pretend that I can ever fully understand the barriers and issues faced by black people, those with albinism and those with other disabilities who might also be affected, but I’m not seeing posts about this issue. maybe that means I’m not following the right people - who knows. and in all honesty I’m not sure it is even my place to talk about this stuff, but I would like to see what people with disabilities and especially albinism think of black lightning so far.

to be clear, I think this show has fewer issues than the adjacent flarrowverse, which is chockfull of racism, sexism, ableism and homophobia that are insidious and blatant both. and I love the main characters, especially anissa and jennifer and lynn. the akils have done a great job of addressing racial and social issues so far, especially with regards to police brutality. but also it’s a great show in terms of family and relationships. there have been many elements that I’ve enjoyed so far.

but not everything has sat right with me. I admittedly didn’t know a whole lot about albinism prior to watching the show, but when two friends of mine pointed out that the villain, tobias whale, had albinism, it was immediately a red flag for me because I (as well as - far, far more importantly - a myriad of people with disabilities) don’t like the idea of the main disabled representation on a show being a disabled villain.

and it’s not that I don’t appreciate the show giving us a bit of an origin story, if you will, about how his father abused him for his albinism and his sister for defending him. but the combination of seeing whale’s father, lady eve and now jefferson pierce himself view whale’s albinism as something to hold against whale is just - not easy to watch but also kind of incongruous with a show that fights so fiercely (and rightly) for the protection of minorities.

sure, lady eve and whale’s dad used whale’s albinism to threaten and/or abuse him - lady eve specifically refers to the oppression and murder of those with albinism (referring to how the body parts of people with albinism are used for so-called magical purposes) when threatening tobias and he remembers her exact words when she sends him that envelope with dust in it. in comparison, jeff’s words are not as hurtful, perhaps, and it could be that I’m missing something, but still I’m trying and failing to understand why it was necessary for him to say that he was going to put whale’s “albino ass right back into the grave” (I might be paraphrasing a little but that’s the gist of it). I get that the guy murdered his father pretty brutally and I’m not excusing any of his behaviour but I’m also not excusing the fact that jeff said what he said. needless to say it made me feel uncomfortable given he’s meant to be the good guy in this and I’m sure more importantly that it made people with albinism watching the show uncomfortable too to see him say that.

but it gets worse. jeff then looks up albinism on the internet and ends up using whale’s disability against him - specifically the fact that people with albinism need to be regularly checked by a doctor for certain skin conditions and so on. jeff goes to whale’s doctor, whose concern is for his own family who whale has been threatening for his silence. that doctor ends up turning on whale and calling him under false pretences in order for jeff to then kill him. and jeff doesn’t because lynn talks him out of it, but that’s not the point. I feel like the implications are bad - that a man who is not only able-bodied but also has superpowers is using his nemesis’s disability, to get to him. and tbh that sounds pretty ableist to me.

I also don’t know where they’re going with khalil’s story, but I feel the options are bad regardless. whale tells khalil that he’ll be able to walk again even tho he won’t be able to, medically speaking, that means a miracle cure is definitely likely given it’s a comic book show where people have superpowers, and that’s not exactly desirable. if khalil can’t walk but does become a villain(ous sidekick?) then it’s like a rehash of whale’s origin story which centres on his condition, thus implying that those with disabilities and conditions are destined for a villainous future, which doesn’t sit right with me. I don’t mean to say that disabled heroes don’t exist, of course, but the one that springs immediately to mind is barbara gordon, aka oracle, and rn I’m reading batgirl and the birds of prey which starts with babs explaining how she was cured with experimental tech that enabled her to be batgirl again. so even there a miracle cure isn’t out of the question and I know that this particular plot point is upsetting to those with disabilities irl who can’t be miraculously cured. 

as I said, I don’t want anyone to have misperceptions here. I was going to comment on this issue much earlier, but I didn’t feel like it was my place. I still am not sure if I should be airing my views given I’m not black and do not have a disability or condition, or albinism. but I would like to start up a conversation and I encourage those who have noticed the same issues and related ones to speak up about them. the show is no doubt a breath of fresh air compared to the toxicity in the flarrowverse, but no show is without its problems and every show should always strive to do better. to that end, I think it’s important to start a dialogue about the problems we see and maybe even (respectfully ofc) discuss things with the showrunners, writers and so on.

lastly, I will not pretend to be an expert on albinism or congenital conditions or disabilities or ableism. if I’ve said anything that’s wrong or inaccurate, you are absolutely welcome to correct me. additionally I mentioned above that I haven't seen a whole lot of discussion on this. if you have written anything about it or can direct me to posts/articles/commentary, that would be greatly appreciated. 

#black lightning #me.txt #negativity for ts #albinism #disabilities #ableism tw #look i understand this is a complex issue and one i don't know everything about #but from what i understand #based on research i've done #is that people with albinism are persecuted in real life and viewed as a curse and bad luck to families #and therefore to have the main villain be someone with albinism #irrespective of if that is adherent with comic canon #is obviously going to raise red flags #to then have several characters use that villain's albinism against him to threaten or abuse or plot to kill him #when people with albinism are often killed for their body parts for magical purposes #suggests the writers need to do better #and the characters need to be better #and i'm not saying for one second that because of this post no one should ever watch black lightning #i watch problematic shows myself #but it would be good to talk about the issues instead of me seeing basically radio silence on them #long post for ts

[richardgrayson-wayne]

Where Is ____?

Where is Kon-El?

Common to the Rebirth discourse, from the beginning, has been the question of “Where is Superboy?” Also common to Rebirth discourse, I guess, is the question of “If/When Conner comes back, what will he go by?”

I’m going to answer the second first, because I think it’s super funny that people don’t think there can be two Superboys. Guys, how many Flashes to we have? How many GLs have we had (who have gone by GL on earth and in the League, not in the entirety of the Corps)? My favourite Flash is Flash II, Barry (and how many time has mah boi got to sacrifice himself, anyway? once per Convergence event?), but Flash I is Jay and Flash III is Wally (my Wally, nerd Wally, redhead Wally, love of my life [number, like, six] Wally).

I digress. But I think Conner could just go by Superboy, and there can be two SBs, I and II. Anyway, how great would it be if they can be called “the Superboys” as a unit, the way kids get called “the boys” or “the kids” or whatever? Superfamily has Superboys. I love it.

But damn. DAMN. Geoff, when is the Superboy coming back? He’s been gone since the start of n52, and I get really emotional thinking about it? But, it’s a matter of when, not if, right? And I’ve seen the spread of Death of Superman/Return of Superman panels from Rebirth Action Comics, and the only person missing was Conner, bro. CONNER. (Hell, Supes remembered his 90s ‘do, so where’s Kon?)

Rebirth is... I care about Rebirth a lot, because it’s a capital-C Chance. They done right by me twice (at least), so far, in bringing back Nightwing (and putting him back in blue! HALLELUJAH!) and giving me back my Wally, the one they ruined in their attempts to be more racially diverse back in n52 (because that Wally was never the same character and never even pretended to be, except in name). My Wally’s back, Other-Wally’s still here, the Flash Family is bigger! I love it! I’m in love!

Well.

Except.

Where is Bart Allen?

I’m all for bigger families. I love the family unit thing that’s going on in DC, and I always have. Did I like Supergirl? No. But, uh, I never liked Superman, either, until a lot more recently. It’s the families I love. Dad!Supes. Aunt!Supergirl. The schtick. The whole thing.

So, where is Bartholomew Allen’s grandson of the same name? Where is my fav future kid (besides my beloved Braniac 5)? He, too, has been missing since the start of n52, since the n52 Bart was a friggin’ imposter and not an Allen and ugh. Spare me.

I think I almost entirely quit n52 after that reveal, and I was just starting to try it, at the time.

A mess. What a mess.

Look, I honestly couldn’t care less about Wonder Girl (unless it’s Donna Troy, or unless we get WG and Troia), but the quintessential trio is Tim Drake, Bart Allen, and Conner Kent. No matter how unfamiliar I was with 90s Titans, I knew that this was the basic trio where Dick, Kori, and Cyborg were the basic 80s trio (I wanted so bad to say Wally - but I’d have to go further back and say Dick, Roy, Wally, and that... other Aqualad? since Wally was The Flash from ‘85 to ‘08, roughly).

What’s the trio, now? Who are Dami’s side babes? I’m actually super irate that there’s no clearly defined third generation trio, ya know? Tim/Bart/Kon (+Cassie) is so classic, and Dick/Kori/Vic (+Troia?) is pretty classic (80s Cyborg tho, pfffft). But like What’s Dami got? Other Wally and... a bunch of original Titans (BB, Rae, Kori, Cy)? I didn’t think he was Dick 2.0. Why doesn’t he get his own, new friends the way Tim did?

I digress. Really bad.

Where was I?

Oh. Bring back the trouble trio! I want SB, Impulse, and Red Robin to tear it up in Rebirth. I want to see them working together, again. Heck, I’d lowkey kill to have Tim leading the Titans, again.

Speaking of Titans, there was maybe one n52 character I cared about, Titan-wise. And it wasn’t not-Conner. It was Bunker.

Where is Miguel Barragan?

Where is Virgil Hawkins?

Where is Red Tornado?

Where is The Question? (And I don’t even care which Question, I just kinda miss the faceless weirdo.)

And, fine, Where is Cassie Sandsmark?

Where is J’onn J’onzz? And what do you MEAN he’s not a founding member of the JL anymore? What?

And where is Billy Batson?

AND WHERE IS THE JSA?

I read a few lists of things missing from Rebirth, and I’m gobsmacked at how many things and people aren’t in Rebirth. Things I thought were integral to DCU stuff, as a whole. I mean, I don’t like Hawkwoman or whatever she’s actually called, but how is she not around? I find Plastic Man laughable, but he’s supposed to be there, isn’t he?

Next thing you’ll tell me is that Alan Scott is awol. (A short Google later) Oh god where is Alan in Rebirth? Tell me he’s there. Tell me he’s not dead. Look, I don’t cre about Jade (idk, I haven’t read enough of her to care, yet), but Alan is special to me, because of... reasons and things. I love this GL Prime type deal he has going on, I love the updated idea of him having a prototype ring or something.

But I’m just digressing more.

Just. Hey, DC? I love that my Wally’s home. And I love that Dick’s not traipsing around as a Secret Agent, anymore (but the wtf aspect of that remains, for me), but I... don’t think i can handle a DC universe without Conner in it. And I don’t really... want a DC universe without Virgil in it. (psa: his middle name is Ovid. How nerdy is that?? Virgil Ovid Hawkins.)

Virgil was important to me, in my childhood. I’m just a white boy, sure, but Virgil was one of my first favourite heroes (along with Spiderman and the X-Men as a whole), and I felt like I learned so much from his show. I’m still pissed I can’t find a box set (DC, get on it).

Nightwing is important to a... portion of my teen years that was otherwise really dark.

Conner was important to me because of his issues and stuggles with personal identity.

These are my heroes in a way that most other iconic heroes just aren’t. I get this thrill of happiness and sense of hope from each of these. I have a list of comics I need to purchase, and almost the entire list is at least peripherally about these characters (or Nightcrawler, of Marvel fame -- for similar reasons to why Conner is important to me). Hell, I got Death of Superman and World Without a Superman just so that I could properly appreciate Conner’s first appearance in Return of Superman!

I just. Even if Wally’s home. Even if NW is back in the blue. It takes all three of these characters to really make me feel at home in a continuity.

Plus Barry and Hal. Otherwise I’d just permanently make my home in 90s DC comics, haha. Nope, of course they’re dead in what is otherwise the perfect place for my comic home to be.

Whatever, I just needed to ramble.

#save #rambling #personal #also: I'm not dead #i came back mostly because i would explode if i didnt rant and ramble #haha

[tumblunni]

I had some sudden more ideas for npcs in the monster petshop game, and a bit of worldbuilding and stuff!

I was just consideringwhether maybe this should be a fantasy setting with different non-human races, or one that’s just all humans. I dunno, games with catchable monsters seem to ALWAYS be just humans, that’s weird now I think about it! I guess its so the line between sentient magical beings and the pet ones isn’t blurred, but in my petshop idea the monster pets can all talk anyway so that’s not an issue. Tho I dunno if it’ll be to the same degree as in the Monster Rancher anime where monsters are all so similar to humans that they can live their own entirely separate lives without a human partner, and like.. start shops and hold property and stuff. Seriously that worldbuilding is so surreal and cool, you get to see stuff like a giant golem running a little metalwork jewelry store in the background of a crowd scene. I wanna see the story of that guy! Tho it gets a bit confusing cos some monsters can’t talk, and some monsters seem to have more petlike intelligence, and those two things don’t often coincide. I still cry forever about that episode with the guy who abused his giant worm monster, and how with its design and how it doesnt talk you’d probably assume its a mindless evil monster but its actually just a quiet sad good guy and like.. how its full sentience level is revealed by it choosing to refuse an offer from the bad guys to join them, and dying trying to save the life of its abusive trainer. And how it actually does succeed in making him realise how wrong he was to treat it like an animal, and to treat animals like mindless toys! And how he breaks down crying and then how he cradles the lil baby worm and promises to do better this time, and then how his original worm comes back to life way WAY at the end of the series and I CRY FOREVERRRR ... Anyway, sorry, where was I before I got distracted?

OH YEAH! Fantasy races! Which really should be called species, but I guess it stuck cos they’re often used as metaphors/replacements for actual racial diversity, especially in traditional fantasy. IM GETTING DISTRACTED AGAIN!!! So yeah that thought led me to an idea for a particular fantasy “race” I could add. But then it somehow developed into... I dislike designing overly humanlike fantasy races, like seriously what is the point of even bothering if they look identical to humans except short or with weird ears? So I thought.. what if this “race” is actually a disease instead?

MORE LONG THOUGHTS BELOW THE CUT!

So, I was thinking they could look like just normal humans but with a greyish skin colour, odd coloured eyes, and some sort of flower growing on their head. They’d be like ‘flower spirits’ but in kind of a negative way? They look like humans because this is a sort of magical genetic condition that turns humans into this. Though they still get predjudice because people are afraid of ‘catching’ a disease that isn’t actually contagious through touch or anything, but people are happy being ignorant fucks and excluding them from society ‘just in case’ their paranoia comes true.

But anyway! The details! At any moment an inherited carrier could manifest symptoms, and rather literally manifest a glowing flower from their forehead. It grants you enhanced magical powers, but at the cost of your life being tied to that magic. The flower is like if your soul has been forcibly pulled outside your body in a very fragile form! You have to tend to it like a normal flower, and you also have to sorta feed it by doing enough magic or absorbing the energy from magical objects. (So these guys’s magical power is to negate other magics.) If left untreated it will eventually be fatal, and if the flower wilts it’ll also kill you even faster. If you fail to take care of it, it drains energy from your soul instead, which leads to the grey skintone and general weak health. But even if you keep the flower alive it’ll eventually grow too big and you’ll be unable to drain enough magic to keep up with its energy consumption. By the time the story begins, medical technology has actually advanced enough to find life extending treatments for this, even if we don’t have a complete cure. You can’t get rid of the flower but you can take medicines to slow it’s growth. I mean, really the problem is just that this thing outpaces its host, its a really impractical parasite! It ends up killing itself by getting too greedy! (Which makes me think probably the predjudiced slurs around these people would be like... ‘you got that disease cos of your greed/sin/etc’. Even though its just genetic.) And then I think the final breakthrough to save people from this disease wouldnt really be a perfect cure, just to regress it to a budlike inactive state. You’ll always be physically marked as a victim of this disease, and you’ll always have the ‘demonic’ magic-draining powers. And it’ll probably be a long time before people stop treating the sufferers like shit, even after this...

So umm.. yeah. Its kinda gonna be like an analogy for the horrible HORRIBLE way the AIDS outbreak was handled by the government, and how it happened because the victims were ‘undesireables’. And how in this post-outbreak world the whole thing’s practically been covered up, lessened, forgotten. And people still deny it, and still treat gay people like shit, and its taken so damn long to make all this progress and just... gahhhh... How pretty much every LGBTQ person who’s that old lost a dozen friends, how people got so desperate they used to hold ‘die-ins’- protesting by literally saying ‘leave me here on the doorstep’ when they were about to die. Make the politicians see exactly what they’ve done! And similarly the massive MASSIVE quilt full of patches commemorating everyone who died. God... And seriously just HOW LITTLE EDUCATION there is on this subject! Even amoungst modern LGBTQ communities! How eager we are to sweep things under the rug, even if its LITERALLY a rug made of dead queer folk! *sigh* umm.. sorry for the heavy subject matter there.

So yeah, this would be a ‘race’ in this setting, or rather a minority group, but in fantasy terms its a ‘race’ but.. whatever. Dumb language rules! Very small community of flower disease folks, treated like demi-humans. And this leads to a bunch of new ideas for npcs that could deliver this plotline! Of course, the main one would be an actual member of the flower disease folks.

I’m imagining her as just an absolute sweetheart shy gentle giant sort of lady. She’s introduced being this terrifying presence walking into the town, your protagonist being the only one who doesnt understand why everyone else is being all hushed whispers and closing all their shops. Since you come from a sheltered rich kid background, you’re very out of touch with common issues and had no clue this disease even exists. (Even though rich folks are the ones who had the power to help them, are the ones who refused, are the ones who spread the propeganda and then tried to cover up all their own failures...) So you’re the only one who treats this seemingly terrifying vagrant as a normal person, even though it’s (initially) just because you didn’t know the situation. Because of this, she ends up seeing you as a friend and coming back again. And then its up to the player whether you fall for all the predjudice and decide to cut all ties with her from here on, or whether you continue to stand up for her rights and try and change the way society treats her.

ANYWAY, her personality once she opens up to you would be the total opposite of her imposing appearance. She’s a chronic sufferer of self-hate issues, who’s been living completely alone in the forest for a long time, after being kicked out by her family and having no-one to turn to. I’m thinking she constantly speaks like... shy equivelant of Fuujin from FF8? One word sentences, but whispered instead of yelled. And like.. “.......ah..............s-....sorry........?” *questioning inflection of silence* “......uhhm........?” *unfurls hand hesitantly from under cloak and points at loaf of bread* *counts out coins meticulously, making sure to spread her hands and show she’s wearing gloves, she’s keeping them in a pouch, she hasn’t touched them* *places them on the very edge of the counter and backs away slowly, assuming you’re thinking the worst of her* *won’t take the bread directly from your hands, just in case* *struggling to speak again* “... th-.... ah-...... t-thank....... you.....” *mumbles her way out of the store quickly and awkwardly* This is kinda how she’s had to deal with buying supplies from EVERYONE EVERYWHERE. This tends to happen with like the one store in town that’ll take pity and throw her some food, at a greatly inflated price. She’s just had to like.. keep trying. Wear them down. If she keeps coming to a town repeatedly they’ll eventually get frustrated enough to give her what she wants.... or they’ll call the sheriff to chase her off. Either way she finally gets a yes or no answer on that place, and can tick it off on her cross country map of spots to find actual supplies. So she like.. CAN NOT function in a regular shop environment anymore. Probably the first hint that she isn’t really scary is how she’d totally freak out at you treating her normally! She’d be TERRIFIED!! There’s no way she’d actually agree to talking normally, she’d adamantly refuse to taking anything for free, seriously WHAT IS YOUR DEAL, ARE YOU A DEMON??? *sobs into the complimentary bread* It’d be a few visits before she actually opens up to you, and even then she’s very monosyllabic. She literally hasnt talked to anyone for years, she’s become so hardened to loneliness and cruel treatment that she can’t remember how to react to kind people anymore. And her voice is so hoarse both from this and from.. well.. the disease. She hasn’t even had the minimal treatment that’s available nowadays... for the rich, at least. So along with her sidequest being to help everyone understand her, you’re also searching for a doctor who’d treat her, and trying to save up the ridiculous amounts of money it would take. Its far easier if you succeed at destroying enough of the town’s ignorance, and make at least a few friendship links between her and your other sidequest pals. You can start having a town-wide fundraiser to get her the lifesaving medicine! Tho probably that leads to its own sidequest of having to track her down after she runs away, worried that she doesn’t deserve it and she’s just gonna cause more problems for her new friends. NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Anyway, the general structure of her as a customer is that she kinda accepts ANYTHING, and doesn’t have much money to do it with. She’s very lonely, and only built up the courage to come to this town on that first day because she heard about your petshop that sells to lower class citizens, and the idea of getting her own monster friend was like a ray of hope in her life! If you decide not to chase her away from the town, she settles in the nearby forest where all the stray monsters live, and becomes like the scary local cryptid. “I totally saw an eight foot tall woman feeding the crows!!! What the fuck!!!” She has a problem with sacrificing herself to protect all these wild animals, they’re just SO BEAUTIFUL and MAKE LIFE WORTH LIVING!! She’s always going hungry cos she gives all her food to them, and then they start to love her in return and she gets a veritable army of feral pals that’ll defend her from anyone who tries to burn her tent down again. So she starts off desperately trying to buy a monster from you, any monster, and then after she gets her first one she starts befriending the forest monsters with its help, and becomes your biggest customer of monster supplies instead. She wants to give all these wild babies the closest life to a normal pet as possible! But she also still will buy literally any monster from you, ever, anytime. Doesn’t matter that she already has fifty, she can always take care of more! Though you do get better results if you give her ones high in defense stats and etc, cos its tough to live out there in the forest, even if your trainer is going hungry to ensure you get the best snacks. Oh, and she’d probably be ABSOLUTELY OVER THE MOON if you could sell her a monster that also has flowers or flower patterns. (Tho i think protagonist would be worried it would be insensitive, but she actually does like them cos they make her feel less lonely) She’s also an incentive to help out with your cookery crafting skills! Cos initially she’s having trouble being able to access any of the other shops in the town, she’ll just buy whatever spare food you have lying around. Even your absolute worst failed dishes are like heaven to her! So you can get more exp from cooking and also make a profit from it, thus helping you get better at crafting fancy dishes for your sweet monster pals. (And your strange tall pal!) Oh, and it’d probably also be an element that people in the town try and ‘politely’ advise you that you shouldn’t sell to her ‘for your own safety’. Because of the flower people’s magic draining powers, there’s the very real worry that one of them could be buying monsters from your store just to drain them dry and slow down their own death. But it sucks to assume the worst of her before you even know her, and honestly even if someone was doing that it’s dishonest to frame them as evil and predatory when seriously they are only committing a crime TO SLOW DOWN THEIR OWN DEATH! I bet that would be the most terrifying depressing situation for them, having to kill a small animal cos you’re having an attack of your symptoms and you just desperately don’t want to die...

And now on to the other supporting npcs I thought could be useful to this plot!

I thought of maybe there being bakers cos... well, the first scene I thought of while planning her personality was her trying to buy a loaf of bread. SIMPLE BRAIN PATHS! WOO! But somehow these bakers ended up gaining a way bigger plot role than I intended O_O I’m imagining them as some sort of Super Duo, just cos this plot idea requires one who starts off sympathetic to flower lady and a boss that provides an obstacle in this. I’m thinking maybe the good guy baker sneaks bread out to flower lady, and their greedy boss is all like ‘no! There are laws in place! Food waste must be destroyed! No giving to the homeless!’ (THIS IS AN ACTUAL THING THAT EXISTS. Almost every major fast food company does it! You can get arrested for stealing food from the bins, or for being an employee who tries to give the food to someone, even if it’s excess food that would just be binned anyway.) But then I ended up humanizing the grumpy boss instead of having them JUST be an enemy. I started imagining this as a family business, and the grumpy boss is their grandma? And then i thought maybe that would be a good vehicle to deliver the backstory worldbuilding about this disease, and now I am REALLY SAD about this grumpy grandma! I was thinking maybe she’s actually someone who lost a lot of friends in the initial outbreak of flower syndrome, and used to protest against it, and became all bitter and depressed after what happened, which is why she’s such a cynical mess nowadays. I think maybe the plot would work better if its like.. the grandkid baker just THINKS that grandma would object to serving a flower disease customer, and then when grandma actually sees who’s been ‘stealing’ her profits, she breaks down crying. Nobody in her family even knew she was so close to the tragedy, she’s been keeping it secret cos even though she isn’t infected she could still be ostracized for being part of that community and all. I’m thinking its gonna just be a very direct analogue, I’m gonna say that LGBTQ people were demonized as the ‘cause’ of this disease back when it was poorly understood. ‘Its caused by greed and sin’ = people pick whichever subjective ‘sin’ they wanna blame... So grandma shows you all her quilt that she’s been keeping secret, full of patches commemorating everyone she knew who died, and tells you about how the tragedy went down and how she got her start as such a cold and untrusting person out of the fear of ever loving anyone again in case she lost them. And everyone gets to have ALL OF THE HUGS, even though hugs can’t erase what happened :( But finding a family that can support her can help flower lady right now, grandma is determined to find a way to save this one person and make up for everyone she couldn’t save! They help you on your quest to track down a doctor, and they give flower lady a place to stay as part of their family, no matter what anyone thinks! And then i think maybe after flower lady manages to get her medicine, grandma actually leaves on a journey with the doctor, to learn how to become a doctor too. She was in medical training when she was younger, before she had to drop out of education due to all that happened. And she just ended up inheriting the family bakery, even though she personally sucks at baking and hates it. (Which is why employee/grandson does all the work and stuff) So now she sees this as a chance to redeem herself, you help convince her that its not too late! She’s gonna use however many years she has left to help people! if she has to be cursed with outliving everyone, she’ll use this long life to make a difference! So its sad cos grandma has to leave on her journey, but grandson takes over the shop and flower lady is employed as an assistant. And they keep in touch with grandma in the mail. (You can sell them a good carrier pigeon monster to help!)

Another npc there could be is... another greedy guy!! I started thinking him up cos i was just wondering about who could be a friend to the grandma. I mean, the npcs have to have relationships and rivalries between each other, its not like the protagonist is the only one who matters, lol This idea i have is (for some reason) someone who looks like a younger AZ from pokemon, wearing a cowboy hat. Kinda? He’s a travelling merchant and ssssssort of the same greedy archetype as grumpy grandpa, but sort of not? He’s an even more huge penny pincher than her, but he doesn’t seem to have his heart in it. He’s constantly desperately wringing any potential money out of anything, overcharging as much as he possibly can, getting himself hurt doing silly get rich schemes. But then he’s not really a jerk about it. He’s very friendly and cares about his customers, unable to actually scam them even as he announces his intentions to do it. He’s constantly betrayed by his own kindness, and ends up giving away free stuff to anyone who has a sob story! He also never seems to actually really spend his money on himself, its not like he actually has any of the luxury he’s always rambling about. I mean, he does indeed seem to have a genuine greed and a few lofty dreams, but then he just puts all his profits in his savings no matter how much it hurts him to do it. *crying over a fancy hat as he dumps his purse in the Swear Jar*

So anyway, his connection to this plot about the flower disease is that his Secret Reason For The Greedy is only revealed if you befriend both him and the flower lady. After you progress the story enough to get her first Happy Ending of getting adopted by the baker family, her second Happy Ending of finally getting the medicine, and her third Happy Ending of becoming the new assistant baker after grandma moves away, the plot still stubbornly continues because really no ending is an ending, yknow? I’m thinking this sort of formula could work really well with a game that has no real overall plot, and is more of just a slice of life theoretically endless thing. When you’re playing Monster Rancher there’s never really any huge changes in the town you still always have the same shopkeepers and nobody even ages. And even though Animal Crossing has villagers moving in and out, its also kinda the same, there’s never any real character development or shifting of the status quo. So I’m thinking having changing generations of the town and continuity between them could be a good way to keep stuff engaging even as you keep playing the same sort of gameplay forever. Maybe some people move away, maybe some people move in, maybe some people get married or have kids, who knows!

So yeah, after the status quo change of the baker grandma moving away and flower lady leaving her homelessness tent to become a full time resident, thats’s when this new sidequest starts. Stuff still isnt instantly perfect for her, she’s still facing predjudice from some people, especially now she’s in a rather public position as an employee. All the controversy over having her work with food, even though SERIOUSLY, DUDE, you can’t catch it from just touching someone who has it! I think she’d feel absolutely terrible, she’d be worried that she’s causing her benefactors to lose business because she’s here. And she’d also have just normal social anxiety adjusting to doing her first job ever, and having to do so much talking. She was homeless since she was very young, she even has trouble with complex mathematics cos she never finished school. Another reason merchant guy could be a good friend of the family, he could help tutor her on this stuff! And general shopkeeping techniques, cos both her and grandson are both super good guy pushovers and all. (”Don’t worry, I’m a wimp too, and even I can manage to be greedy with these five simple steps! ....that’ll be 50 dollars.”) But the main plot for him and flower lady is how he finally reveals his secret reason for being so greedy. One day he just comes along leading a little girl by his hand, and lifts her up so she can see the lady at the bakery counter. “Daddy, she’s got flowers like me!!” He’s been sending all of his profits home to pay for his kid’s medical bills, and he finally decided to let you know once he met someone else with the same condition. He’s been keeping it a secret because people hate flower sufferers so much, and he desperately needs to keep up the trade route with this town otherwise he can’t afford to look after her. he’s so damn relieved to be able to stop lying to you, and to finally introduce his lil bundle of joy! And to let her see someone else with the same condition, for the first time in her life! And then the lil girl could become friends with tall flower lady, and be all like ‘you look so pretty!’ which is something nobody’s ever said to her since she got sick, and just... HEARTWARMING TIME And it could help flower lady keep hope even though predjudice hasnt completely stopped in the world. At least now she’s found some good people, and she can see that her bravery in working at this job is inspiring young sufferers to feel that their life isnt completely over. So they all send off another letter to grandma together, and have a nice family dinner with this other family, and with yours too. :3 (...also, merchant guy apologizes for lying to his close friend grandma for so long, and they laugh at how they both had so much in common and never found out until now! And she is HELLA EXCITED to meet his daughter when she comes back ^_^)

#monster shop game #thats gonna be the new tag #i need to go re-tag all of the earlier posts

[jeonsify]

Oh, just tips on what you should do in Singapore. What are some good places to visit? Foods to try? What are the schools like (teachers and stuff)? What should foreigners watch out for? And just curious, how old are you? ^^

Wow that’s a lot of questions actually but idm HAHA tbh i’m not the best person to ask this bc i’m pretty forgetful but:

1. Good places to visit: Gardens by the Bay, Marina Bay Sands (the Merlion is a must go if you’re a tourist), USS etc. Singapore has a diverse culture so if you have more time maybe you can try to experience the different cultures we have here by going to: Chinatown/Little India/Kampung Glam etc!

2. Foods to try: Basically just go to any Hawker Center (super warm tho..) and every food there should be very “Singaporean-ish!” My personally favourites are: Chilli Crab, Hainanese Chicken Rice, Char Kuay Teow etc HAHA.

3. What are the schools like: Tbh I can see the effort our government is putting in to lessen the stress on the students but it’s not really working well HAHA. But I guess the schools here are pretty alright! Not much bullying/violence cases and most teachers are fine too :)

4. What should foreigners look out for: Remember to bring plain water when you go sightseeing etc bc the food is EXTREMELY expensive at tourist attractions. DO NOT eat chewing gum as it is illegal here and Singapore is really really clean so don’t litter or else you’ll be fine if you’re caught etc HAHA. No spitting also. & We are a multi racial country so we have to be sensitive to others 😅 Young people here speak English but older generations mostly only speak Mandarin/Dialect so you might need to approach a youngster if you’re lost etc. But Singapore is a relatively safe country so you don’t have to worry much about pickpockets etc! ^___^

I hope these answer your questions and have a safe trip! Let me know if you have anymore doubts! 😊

#ask #anon

[moonlight-at-dawn]

Looking for opinions on how to handle a bully’s family

One of my neighbor’s has a kid (C) who is the same age as my own (K). They’ve been ‘friends’ since a few months after we moved into the neighborhood. I use quotations because C has been something of a bully since the beginning, when they were 5 years old.

It started out simple enough, and we tried making gentle corrections when C was here. He would be forceful, refusing to compromise, would use friendship as a bargaining chip (”If you won’t play MY way, then I’m not your friend!”). His idea of fun has never changed from making fun of what the other person likes.

It feels very much like he’s not interested in having FRIENDS but in having MINIONS. Once my kid started putting his foot down and not letting C treat him like this, C started not only distancing himself, but turning the other kids against him. I have heard and had to intervene on multiple occasions when C has told another kid to do something wrong. He likes to make someone else do something bad so he can laugh but not get into trouble.

C also lies about other kids to divert trouble away from him. One of the times I asked him to compromise (”He said he would play this pretend game, he just wants to play as this character, you should let him. It’s more fun to mix these things anyway :)”) he didn’t even respond to what I said or about the situation at all. He lied to me, saying “I’ve seen K’s light on in the middle of the night when he should be asleep!” (”How do you know that, were you up when you shouldn’t be?” “UHHHHHHH” -I knew it was a lie bc my kid was still sleeping in my room at that time, but I didn’t tell C this)

During all this Covid stuff, my kid has been the only one wearing a face mask, and C has made fun of him for it, ripped his mask off his face, and has overall increased his aggression since then. This escalated to him lying to the other kids in the neighborhood, saying that his father told him he couldn’t play with K, even with other kids involved, and so they would have to choose between them. He then also lied to the kids to make them choose him over my kid.

We attempted to speak with his parents so we could resolve this conflict. C went inside for a few minutes, then came out and said “My dad’s asleep and my mom doesn’t want to come out, but I can play with K again.” which is why we feel confident that this “rule” had been a lie all along.

On Wednesday, things escalated to the point that we called the police. We heard a knock at the door. A child left a note that said something like “Do you want a war” and “Take this gun” with a drawing of a sad face kid and a gun pointed their direction. C claims that another kid had left the note for him with a NERF gun, and that they meant for it to be ‘funny.’ However, even if that’s true, with that context removed, it was a threat, not funny at all. C also had done his classic move of being like “Wouldn’t it be funny if YOU did this?” and asked one of the younger kids to actually place the note. Then tried claiming an older kid wrote the note, that none of them could write. He’s 8. Next year is 3rd grade for C and K. He can write, but he told the POLICE OFFICER that he couldn’t. Not sure why he’d claim he can’t write AND that it was a note left by a younger kid without both of those being lies, sooooo......

Before calling the police, 3 of us adults standing in the foyer with the door half open, reading this note, being furious, I snapped a little. I stomped outside with the note. The group of kids was standing in front of C’s house across the street, and I stayed on my side and screamed at them. I’m not proud, but I also don’t regret it, if that makes sense? They even tried saying “We don’t know who did it!” when A) There was no one else who could have, and B) An older and completely uninvolved kid riding his bike around confirmed who had done it. I raised my voice “AND YES, I’M GOING TO SCREAM SO THAT ALL THE NEIGHBORHOOD KNOWS THAT YOU’RE THREATENING SOMEONE WITH GUN VIOLENCE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!?!?!?”

C put his face in his hands and made a wailing sound, and this is where I’m not proud but also not regretful. I pointed at him at said “No! No you don’t! I don’t believe that for a SECOND. You have lied to me every chance you get, you are a bully, you are cruel, and you are manipulative!” and while I was shouting this, he dropped his hands and looked me dead in the eye with a completely clean face and annoyed expression, showing he hadn’t been crying at all, and that’s why I don’t regret it. If he’d been actually crying, I’d probably regret it.

After I went in, we hemmed and hawed over calling the police, and decided to do so because we want a file on record. My husband was stalked with racially charged death threats, his dorm rooms broken into, vandalized, things broken, for 6 months. He has been suffering severe physical PTSD responses since this incident on Wednesday. My mother is a domestic abuse survivor, my roommate Mika has had a gun shoved in her face during a bank robbery, and I’ve fought people who intended to rape me (which I’ve never even said this much about my experiences as a teen until this event, bc I don’t want to think or talk about it, but now I can’t NOT). We CANNOT take this lightly, as this violence has come into our lives before, and we intimately know where it leads.

To make matters more complicated, the parents are shit people too, which makes having a reconciliatory conversation difficult. C has quoted bigotry at me (C: ”It’s illegal for boys to marry boys” Me: “No it’s not” C: “Yes it is” M: “No. It’s not. It was made legal several years ago, thankfully.” C: “..........I think it’s weird.” M: “Well, no one is saying you have to do it, it’s for those who want to.” C: “But it’s weird!” M: “You can’t tell someone not to live their life because you don’t like it!!!” C: “....................”)

C’s parents clearly need counseling, and his mom needs some serious therapy. The noise and lights of their middle of the night arguments and the mom trying to drive away, the dad standing behind the car to stop her, has woken up my parents in their street-facing room on more than one occasion. There’s a huge dent in their garage where C’s mom has crashed the car. C’s mom also hit Mika’s parked car, then proceeded to blame Mika for her car being there like “It’s so inconvenient when you park on the road!” ....C’s family has 2 cars parked on the street pretty much at all times. Mika parks on the road only when we need to be able to get out, but she’s usually in the driveway.

The fact that C’s parents are like this makes it very difficult to consider how to go about trying to have a conversation with them. I wrote a short DEAR MAN guided script about the incident on Wednesday, but I’m hesitant to go over there when I feel very strongly that they’ll just go on an unrelated tangent and try to flip the blame around. C’s father has shot us glares from across the street, but has made no attempt to come speak to us about us calling the police on their kid.

The parents of the other involved kids have come spoken to us, were mortified by what had happened, their kids also mortified by what had happened, and were receptive when we explained that C was behind it and what his history of manipulation and making others do his dirty work is like. We were careful about wording, just talking about the situations and trying not to make it a huge judgmental thing, just a “this is what we know” thing.

My current feeling is that I should write a letter and mail it to them (even tho they live across the street), because I feel strongly that I need to take SOME kind of action, as they won’t. But I just don’t know. Should I try speaking in person, even though I feel like they will be aggressive and/or dismissive? Should I write a letter even though I feel like they would read it with bad faith? Have I done enough, is the onus now on them?

#misha rambles #and misha rants #i'm at a loss #i have therapy on wednesday and i'll speak to her about this too #but i just #*muffled screams* #i saw them unloading firewood yesterday and my thought was 'if you try to burn down my house i will DESTROY you'