#it's not safe or sane but they can be like this | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jupiterisnastar · 3 days

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You just look like my prettiest girl

Between my crush on golden retrievers and nerdy guys. There's something about Jason Todd that just SCREAMS Rottweiler boyfriend!

Jason would always cuddle by hugging you from behind on bed, his hands resting on your tummy and his face buried on your neck, little kisses on your skin and sometimes little bites because Jason can't help himself.

He would always put the shared playlist you two have in a low volume, just to help himself relax after a rough patrol where the Bats put their noses in his business. Sometimes Jason wishes he could put a bullet in their heads just to make this nonsense stop. But you would get at mad at him so he just content himself with ignoring their pestering.

Being with you helps Jason ignore the loud voice of the pit screaming for him to kill everyone and everything that annoys him. It's almost like the pit likes to be cuddled by you and your soft body, who just look like the prettiest thing in the whole world.

When he feels too overwhelmed, Jason lays his head in your soft tummy and just close his eyes, relaxing even more when your fingers began untangling his hair, Jason always feel like melting when you do this.

And when you wear his big t-shirts? Oh boy, he goes to heaven and comes back in one simple go. And blame him from making out with you every time he sees you like this, it's not his fault that you look so cute and pretty like this.

Now, Jason can't help but gatekeep you from his family. If Dick sees you he would want you from himself! And Jason can't have this, can he? And Tim would go all gushy if he talks with you because you're so damn intelligent, and the Demon spawn is a brat, he would spill all the blackmail he has on Jason. Duke is chill tho, so Jason would talk about you from time to time to him, but not much to make Duke interested in meeting you.

Jason is so protective and possessive, always having a hand on you, always looking out to be sure that there isn't any danger, always making sure you're comfortable, and that you are safe.

If girls flirt with him? It's over to them. He will simply glare at them with the most disgusted expression, as if they are the ugliest thing he ever saw (and they are, at least in Jason's opinion).

Your happiness is his priority, you aren't feeling pretty? Well, seems like Jason needs to reassure that you indeee are pretty, even if that means having you in front of a mirror while he listed everything he finds hot in you.

You think that you are too fat? No problem! Jason will make sure you are comfortable in your own skin, if you want to go to the gym he is going with you, a diet? He's already talking with a nutritionist to know what's the best and safest diet you should do!

You think that you need new clothes? Don't say another word, he's using all his money to buy you the best, prettiest and comfortable clothes for you. Jason is your loyal servant and you are the Goddess of his life.

Jason would kill, torture, and die again if that means making you happy. You're the sole reason of why he's still barely sane and didn't go berserk. You are his happiness, and he hopes to be yours too.

Just trust him, okay? He will make sure you are safe and happy. Pinky promise

#jason todd #jason todd x reader #jason todd x you #chubby reader

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moirindeclermont · 3 days

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Daily thread about BridgertonS3, we are so close and yet it seems so far away... And so it seems ok to talk about Polin and kink since they're edging us (I'm not complaining, I'm into it).

Necessary disclaimer: if kink is not your thing, that's okay. This is just my personal reflection. This is also an adult only post.

So, Pen is Miss hyperindipedence, and Colin is Mister people pleaser. She wants to control everything and do stuff on her own, He wants to worship the ground she walks but sometimes he needs to take control as well.

Ergo, being them the superior ship they are, they can't be anything other than switch 🤝 switch. It's not a 50/50 thing.

Sometimes she wants to feel in control, but she loves that often she can let go and not have to think or decide because she knows Colin will take care of it.

Other times Colin wants to praise his goddess and that's his ultimate goal, damn his pleasure.

Both have a praise kink and I will die on this hill. Colin maybe more, but you can't tell me Pen didn't melt on the spot the first time Colin said "good girl".

I feel like there is an exhibitionist/voyeuristic element to their dynamic, if the mirror scene is an indication.

Some impact play, I'm sure of it, especially after the reveal of LW.

Also, edging. A lot of edging. As they should. Maybe in a role play session.

Or simply just Colin bring her closer and closer and then go back and forth while adoring her. Silk ropes may being involved, just to keep her still. No gag, he loves listen to her.

Maybe some experiment with dildos, because Colin would love to be pegged (as he should) and I'm sure Pen would be very curious to try DP or some stuff like that.

On the baseline, there is an amount of trust that allows them to explore their pleasure. They can laugh when things go sideways (sex is messy, sometimes things go sideways) and they are confortable with each other. Confortable enough to say when you don't like something.

And sometimes it's completely vanilla and that's fine too. But sometimes they like to g wild and explore their deepest desire together.

Remember kids. When it comes to kink, Safe, sane and consensual. Always!

#polin #bridgerton #kink discussion #bridgerton season 3 #colin x penelope #colin bridgerton #penelope featherington #this is your warning #polin meta #polin supremacy

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whaleofatjme1920 · 3 days

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Mentors and Their Shadows | Part 1

Proxies X GN!Reader

[Warnings: Nothing, really]

[AN: It's... a very general fic. I wanted to write about proxy society, all that kind of jazz. Will be a part 2. Wallace, Ruth and Nyein are mine. 1.8K words]

Reblogs are appreciated!

“Go entertain yourself,” Wallace hums. His voice is low and much too tired. His glassy eyes stare over the scene as you anxiously fidget beside him. He adjusts his coat slightly and looks down at you. There, you see a ghost of a smile on his lips.

You take in the atmosphere. Loud, raucous, but surprisingly not as destructive as Theo had told you it might be. The scent of proxies fills the air alongside blood, alcohol, and some lysol in a vain attempt to keep the place clean as per the Operator’s orders. The lights here are yellowed and dimmed, some bulbs are red. In your peripheral vision, you can see your group’s independent slinking off much like the overgrown cat they are, accompanied by your group’s right hand, Theo. The blue eyed man sends a barely reassuring grin your way before pushing against some other group’s poor runt telling them to watch themself. To the left of you stands Ruth, your group’s middle child. She’s at your side, a comforting hand on your shoulder.

You gulp slightly when you feel Wallace and Ruth’s eyes on you. “What?” You ask.

“Stop over thinking it,” Ruth says to you. She sets her eyes on the crowd, seemingly looking for someone dear to her. Proxies aren’t supposed to have connections to anyone other than the Operator, but if relationships costuming as human keep them sane, he has yet to hammer them with a ban.

Wallace stretches a bit and nods in agreement. He knows it’s your first time in one of these places. Well, first might be an exaggeration, but he knows you’re a bit of a velcro runt. Why wouldn’t you be? The Operator stole you unfairly, and here you are, attached to your group’s hip. Your group leader, he wants you to be comfortable navigating this space by yourself in case you’re ever separated. Why not now? It’s a perfect time as ever. He knows he’s right there in case you need him, Ruth is always watching, Theo as well and Nyein can sniff out trouble from a mile away. This safe zone is particularly safe, and not too uptight. Mirror Mountain has always been loved by independents and proxies alike.

Slowly, you nod. “Okay.”

Ruth smiles and pats your back, “nice, you got this.” She shimmies away from you to find that proxy dear to her and taps at her temple reminding you much like an older sister might of head-talk, a proxy’s unique bond with their group should anything go south.

You turn your head to the side to see Wallace off as well only to find he’s disappeared in the crowd. Though, if you focus hard enough, you can hear his worn laughter as he talks to an eyeless cannibal with a Polish accent about where he’s been all these weeks. You’re aware of some of the local legends in the Operator’s society. He runs around with favorites, but names like the ones you’re sharing space with tonight are all well known and beloved.

Fate would have it that, after a few minutes of awkwardly moving around various proxies that have been in the game longer than you, that you would find a seat at the table of the Operator’s most beloved group. Perhaps ‘beloved’ isn’t the right word, but they’re definitely favored.

Masky, otherwise known as Tim Wright, is surrounded by cigarette smoke. Mirror Mountain is one of the only proxy spaces that allows him to smoke as much as he does, or rather, it’s one of the only safe zones where his right hand doesn’t complain to him to stop. His right hand is Hoodie, or Brian Thomas, and their middle children are Toby, and Kate the Chaser. They have no runt ever since Kate broke free from her runt status, and are not accompanied by any independents except for the few that pair up with them on operations as per the Operator’s orders.

So, here you sit across from the two men, a leader and his right hand, once again awkwardly messing with the hem of your shirt and scared to even look them in the eye. Wallace isn’t usually insane about adhering to proxy social norms, but respecting leaders and their right hands is of utmost importance to him as a leader himself.

“We’ve seen you around before,” Masky says as he puffs out smoke from his cigarette. “We’re actually due for working with you soon,” he muses as he casts a look to Hoodie, who nods to confirm the statement. He leans back in his chair to show his comfort and as he does so, studies you closely. You’re nervous, but not incapable. Just anxious to be around him and Hoodie. It makes him chuckle softly. “You remind me of someone,” he says in passing.

Hoodie rolls his eyes in response. “He means you’re an anxious little shit,” he says point blank. His eyes twinkle with mischief, mostly to let you know he’s playing before he too adjusts his posture to show his comfort around you. When you pull a small face, Hoodie snorts a laugh. You remind him so much of Kate when he’d pull her leg too.

They ask about you despite knowing so much already. Who are you? Where did you come from? What has the hazing process been like for you so far? It’s quite pleasant, honestly. You haven’t been afforded a real conversation in quite some time, so having it with a group that isn’t yours is a nice surprise. You’re able to voice so many thoughts in your head and not have to risk your group breathing down your neck about it despite generally liking your group. You tell them about your experiences working, but there’s a surprising lack of being enmeshed in the Operator’s society.

“This is my first time in a place like this,” you say. “I mean, I guess, not a first but I haven’t been in these places long enough to know what to… do. Etiquette?” You attempt to explain. You’re much more relaxed as you share their company now. You stretch just a little bit, a nonverbal sign of comfort and clear your throat.

“Did you want anything to drink?” He asks as a formality, wanting to sew good tidings between his group and yours even though you, as a runt, are subject to abuse from nearly every proxy ranking above you. However, Hoodie believes that groups he’s due to work with should have slightly better, more preferable treatment as opposed to those he’s barely made acquaintanceship with. So, you get treated a bit nicer even if you’re just a runt in his eyes.

“Just water, please.”

Hoodie nods once more, and then whistles. When a lowly independent walks by, he greets them politely and asks for a glass of water. You raise your brows in surprise, never really having seen other proxies treat independents like they’re equals outside of your group - and even your Theo treats them awfully.

“We work a lot with independents,” Masky covers to satiate your budding curiosity. “I’m sure you heard of Jeff the Killer, Eyeless Jack, Ben Drowned,” he trails off, listing off well known friends, “Hood, Toby, Kate and I have never been fans of being dicks for the sake of status,” he shrugs to end his statement. Masky shares a small glance with his right hand, and a million thoughts rush through their shared stream of consciousness. Masky leans forward and smiles at the independent who briefly cuts in to place the glass of water down on the table before he slides it over to you and urges you to take a sip. “You don’t have a mentor, do you?” He inquires, very curious on the subject of you appropriately merging into proxy society. The dark haired man had already assumed appropriately that you didn’t, but he just wanted to hear it directly from you.

“Ruth’s mentioned wanting me to find one, she says that Ny doesn’t count,” you tell them. You slide your index finger over the rim of the glass and feel the cool, smooth texture under your touch. The warmth of body heat in the room seems to die down as you raise the glass to your lips and start to drink some of the water. You feel calmed having some, more prepared to talk to proxies that are being surprisingly gentle to you. “But I never really see any independents outside of when we’re… here,” you finish with a soft chuckle. How are you meant to get experience if none is provided?

Hoodie clears his throat and looks around, “where’s your leader?”

You cock your head to the side but ask inside your head. In your mind’s eye, you can visualize your voice as a wave of light. It bounces, and takes on the color of your soul. It’s odd that proxies even have souls, in your opinion.

‘Where are you?’

‘Near the back drinking some beer with EJ. Why?’

‘Hoodie is asking.’

‘What? Stay right there.’

You blink a few times to break out of the trance head talk often puts new proxies in and turn your attention back to the men sitting in front of you. Hanging off to the side of them with a keen eye is Toby himself. He’s got a stupid little red cup of redbull vodka but he’s invested in whatever the hell is going on between his leader, right hand and you even as he sips his drink. It’s odd how in tune you are with your own group. You can feel Wallace’s footsteps like the beating of your own heart. He doesn’t sound upset, more so annoyed that he knows why the two of them are asking.

Slinking up from behind you is Wallace. His eyes still carry that glazed, dead look but he’s subtly stewing at the insinuation Hoodie and Masky have thrown his way. “What do you need?” His voice is clipped, like he’d rather be drinking instead of holding an audience with them.

“You’re embarrassing,” Masky says in response. “You’ve had this one for… 6 months already? Not even let them find a mentor?” He challenges.

It’s just like proxies to start a fight over something so minor.

You lean forward to hear more and more of the conversation, feeling Wallace’s hand grip on your shoulder as he defends not forcing you to find a mentor sooner, and Masky’s biting responses that question Wallace’s ability as a group leader. You lean further and further before feeling yourself gripped back when Wallace lunges, and Masky and Hoodie laugh.

You gasp softly as gloved hands grip you from the back of your neck like a dog might it’s puppy and shove you away from the budding fight. “Eh, you don’t wanna see that,” Toby’s low voice chuckles. “Come on, I’ll solve the independent bit with you.” He gives you a toothy grin, you can see his teeth pressed together from the open cheek he has, while he guides you towards a different part of the bar.

You glance over your shoulder to hear the commotion caused by your group leader, now your right hand, and Toby's.

"It's really nothing special," Toby quips.

You look forward and then up at him. "Independents?"

"Yeah, some of the best are here tonight."

He smiles.

And you do too.

#creepypasta x reader #creepypasta x you #creepypasta x y/n #gender neutral reader #gender neutral y/n #masky x reader #hoodie x reader #oc x reader #marble hornets x reader #marble hornets x you #brian thomas x reader #tim wright x reader #ticci toby x reader #ticci toby x you

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alyikav · 9 months

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ok so, there's this (prob/most likely dead dove) het h manga I read a while ago (tragic isekai reincarnation as the villaness) that has big binggeqiu vibes and I keep trying to adapt it into a gay au so I'm just gonna ramble for a bit here

sy got transmigrated into an otome game as sqq the villan who is engaged to lbh, the powerful prince of the country.

sqq character is a wealthy mage with low level powers that lives in a village, and he goes to a school in main city to learn to control them. but sy has other plans. while playing watching his sister play the game, he found an npc character (sj) that had a past with sqq but never got looked into, so that's the first thing he wants to do in this new life of his

sy ADORES lbh, his favorite character and all but HE'S NOT GAY, so he tells his parents to send a letter to dissolve the engagement before going back to his village. he founds sj and discovers their secret shared past (idk I'm gonna think about it) and promises to come back to talk more

when sqq goes back to school, everyone notices that he changed and starts gaining fans. lbh is curious bc EVERYONE wants him, he's fucked with a long list of ppl and someone rejecting him is NEW and EXCITING so he looks for sqq to talk about it

sy decides to tell a small lie and say that he already loves someone else from his own village and lbh is curious but always polite, bc that's the mask he's always had. but when he's about to ask more, the bell for next class rings and lbh is like "oww, wish we could talk more about this. but it's not like I could burn the whole school down so I could avoid responsibilities lol"

and sy is like "yeah that checks out" and lbh asks him what does he mean??

sy says "oh shit, I didn't mean to say it outloud hahaha... I just said that uh, you look like you would burn a place down just bc it's inconvenient for you?"

and lbh is FLOORED bc you see, when he was little and his powers manifested, they were too strong and he ended up killing a bunch of ppl accidentally, and his servants were like "welp, accidents happened, my lord! dw!!" and literally no one ever talked about it

and that was too much for smol lbh. could he get away with that just bc he was the prince?? so he did a couple of experiments, he grabbed random ppl and tortured them or outright killed them infront of his servants and everyone just let it slipped, saying that it was nothing my lord, we didn't see anything

so lbh always felt empty bc everyone saw him as the beautiful perfect prince that never did anything wrong, so he felt that he was surrounded by mindless puppets, all bowing to him.

BUT THEN sqq changed and SAW HIM as he really was. a psychopath that could burn a whole place down just because he felt like it

so ofc he kidnaps sqq and fucks him into submission, saying that they belong together, and when sqq asks him to let him go back to his village lbh replies "if your village is all you think about, I'll have to get rid of it"

AND HE DOES!

so sqq doesn't have other option than to marry lbh

this is ✨ problematic ✨

chef kiss

#svsss #dead dove idea #bingqiu #it's not safe or sane but they can be like this #as a treat #mentions of death tw #mentions of torture tw #not to bingqiu but to other chacters #dub/noncon tw #that is for bingqiu #I just literally changed the part of the mc being in love w someone else to sy being IM NOT GAY LOL #but everything else is in the manga #I just wanted to bingqiu-fy jt

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muchmossymess · 4 months

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Why is everyone here so obsessed with sex and romance why can't you appreciate the comedic genius of "rivals who fight about parenting to rile the other up to begrudging coparents who bicker like a divorced couple to actually maybe tolerating the other and the insults are now less spiteful and biting to hells first qpr (queerplatonic rivalry) to hells first qpr (queerplatonic relationship)"

#like. gah. there is so so so many interesting ways to take this dynamic and you chose kiss and fuck #i can excuse the aphobia but i draw the line at ooc dynamics (ITS A JOKE A REFERENCE A JOKE I DONT EXCUSE APHOBIA)#sigh #i can excuse all the smut to a point but like. you took the (ONLY) canonically sex repulsed character and made him fuck the dilf #and you didnt even make it an exploration of sexuality with the realisation sex isnt necessary for a relationship #or that its ok to actually hate sex #(when it involves yourself. so long as its safe sane and consensual its not really your business)#ughbkembaalgk ive lost my train of thought i think its late but yeah im just a lil pissy about the casual aphobia #dont even get me started on the blatant stuff ffs #radiostar #radioapple #appleradio #alastor #hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #moss' madness

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shadow0-1 · 1 year

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Human contact

#call of duty #modern warfare #call of duty modern warfare #MWII #Phillip Graves #blender renders #OC: Jax #Jackie Ramirez #Ship: High Places #uhh men were made to be handled 🤪🤪#if any of you say this is n*n c°n i will SCREAM #perfectly safe sane and consensual #they both like getting tossed around a bit what can i say #something something. wanted to do this for the longest time #🤡🤡#shadow company #CoD OC

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stealthysteveharrington · 11 months

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Okay so I’m not usually super into soulmate aus but what about a world that emphasizes romantic soulmates but doesn’t really talk about platonic soulmates, but also not everyone has a soulmate, they’re like, a little bit rare. And so sometime after starcourt , hell after spring break even, Robin and Steve find out they really are soulmates and that has Robin questioning her sexuality AGAIN because how could she be a lesbian if her soulmate was a man? Also what about her thing for Vickie? And the way seeing Nancy hold a gun made her feel all tingly? And Steve is like, huh im glad I didn’t make a move on Eddie yet because this would be awkward if I had

And so they sort of decide ‘well I guess we should try to be together if that’s what fate has said’ and so they like try for a few weeks and they awkwardly make out and stuff and do a little bit of heavy petting and it’s funny because of course it is, it’s STEVE and ROBIN, but right before they can get to anything penetrative, Robins like “wait, no, dude. I am 100% positive i am a lesbian. Please put your penis away right now immediately” and anyway that’s how they figure out that platonic soulmates are real and valid and legit and schools just don’t teach about them and they don’t make movies about them even though they SHOULD. And down the line they find out that yeah they’re not the only ones, people just don’t talk about it. And so Robin ends up with Vickie or Nancy or someone and Steve finally asks Eddie out and idk use your imagination everyone lives happily ever after I just want a platonic stobin soulmate au

#stranger things #stobin #platonic stobin #steve harrington #robin buckley #steddie #kind of #not fic #but like i just can see them being so confused and going with it because they’re that close that at least they’re safe experimenting with #each other #like are either of them really into it? no #is it safe sane and consensual? yes #does Robin stop thing before they cross that line? yes #is Steve not so secretly relieved? also very much yes #st not fic #ssh

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allastoredeer · 11 days

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I need a link to that radiohusk fic you're reading, I need food 👀

Okay, but, like, really read the tags.

While this fic has some cute and wholesome moments, it is still a very explicit fic that has some very dark elements and a very fucked up relationship dynamic. I happen to enjoy reading explicit fics with dark elements and very fucked up relationship dynamics--so, personally, I was fed very well--but I know that isn't for everyone.

If this kind of fic is your cup of tea, wassup my fellow dark-fic enjoyer :3

If this kind of fic isn't your cup of tea, don't worry, we can find some less-heavy RadioHusk, I promise.

#seriously #DO READ THE TAGS #and take them seriously #its very much a Dead Dove Do Not Eat scenario #if you don't think you'll vibe with any of the tags I recommend you trust yourself #personally i fucking LOVED the way the author explored Husk and Alastor's relationship #and how complicated and fucked up it can be #and how they kind of have this unhealthy codependecy for each other #and they are very much not doing any of this in a safe or sane way #but i love fucked up shit like that #lets go explore this toxicity together #asks #anon #radiohusk #anonymous

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bunnihearted · 12 days

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🫎

#this place drives me crazy....#i notice it esp bc when im outside and feel a tiny bit better #(unfortunately this city is a nightmare for a hypervigilant like me to live bc theres crazyyy much noise 24/7)#but my home has for the first 23yrs of my life been a noise wise calm place to wind down and be safe and relax #but a couple of years ago there was like a shift and everyone who moves in here are crazy #my neighbors are constantly stomping banging and thumping. constantly.......#people outside are always screaming and yelling and slamming doors and everything u can do #they let their kids run around and scream like demons and throw rocks on cats and piss on the walls #and they go around with metal pipes or sticks and hit everything #like.... im sorry if u wanna call me a childhater for saying thats fucked up then go ahead #that's not sane behavior and the parents dont raise their kids anymore #constant yelling.... anyway #we have a clan of ppl who do lots of illegal things which is above all NOISYYYYYY #they make shit in the apartment above me and then live in another and then large moving trucks come and pick it up #?????? if u wanna call me a stuck up karen for thinking thats not ok to do to your neighbors go ahead!!!!!! im a bitter bitch #i dont think it's ok to cause such disturbance to your neighbors they cant sleep or exist in peace but thats just me ig!!!!!#these ppl living here are batshit insane bc i've been here for 25 and it's never been like this #and i mean it's MY problem for being noise sensitive ofc #but i feel like my brain is CONSTANTLY always being overstimulated and i can barely function anymore #i like legit wanna kms just to escape all this noise #i dont get any quiet moment ever #not even in the middle of the night there is always some human making noise and causing a disturbance #a few years ago it could be dead quiet in the middle of the day #what has happened im losing my miiiiiiind i wanna dieeeeeeeee #what happens when i reach a point where my brain just overcooks and i explode?#what will i do? what will i do when i lose control sksksk that shit scares me i dont wanna see #i cant live like this but im stuck and i dont know how to get out #and my mom was in a smaller city the other day and she said it was a crazy amount of noise yhere to #what do i do? whrre do i go???? i might jusy have to go deaf or smth i cant do this

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theheadlessgroom · 10 days

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@beatingheart-bride

"So, what all are we looking for here, lass? What do you want to take home the most right now?"

In a way, Wilhelm was reminded of his own packing back in Ireland, his preparation for his travels to the States: He remembered walking around his room, his house, trying to think of what he wished to take with him the most. He tried to focus on the important things: Clothes, of course, a photo album, an Irish flag, his mother's tea set, but there were more personal, sentimental items he thought about taking-childhood toys, knickknacks and bric-a-brac, little things he still had an emotional investment in...he didn't have enough room in his suitcase to take it all with him, he knew, but it wasn't for a lack of trying.

"Are these any heirlooms in the house, anything very valuable you want to move out?" June asked, trying to see the situation a touch practically: Given how much time Emily had spent at their home, her own home must've looked quite dark and uninhabited, and so a part of her feared some hooligans might want to break in and try to steal the silverware, so valuables were at the top of the list.

At the mention of valuables, Randall immediately thought of the veil: If there was anything that fit under that descriptor, his masterpiece would be it, and that would be the first thing he'd make sure to grab for Emily.

#((i admit; i was also one of those naive folks! i figured 'okay; so long as we play it safe; follow the mandates'))#(('we'll be fine! we'll just kick back and in the words of 'shaun of the dead'; 'wait for all of this to blow over'!))#((several weeks later i'm wrapping up my german and scriptwriting courses online))#((and finding myself searching every other grocery store for toilet paper!))#((it was defidently rough; and i can only imagine it was even rougher with the unemployment! thank god you got the job!))#((i'd really like to avoid living through another pandemic; one really IS more than enough!))#((i did a lot of horror movie marathons when the lockdown was going on; i fell in love with a lot of franchises))#((because i had suddenly had so much time on my hands; and while i credit them for keeping me sane))#((i'd still rather not go through that nightmare again!))#outofhatboxes #beatingheart-bride #V:Dark Shadows

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autistic-sidon · 19 days

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Important announcement

So I'm making a huge change! Despite me not believing DNIs are something that really works, I still think it's important to announce that I have having a massive change of boundaries regarding sidlink shippers due to something that occurred on the beautiful site called twitter dot com!

To summarize, me and another person got accused by someone with 5000+ followers of cyberstalking, mostly the other person. I unfortunately can only really defend myself and that is all this post will be about. What's most important to note about this "callout post" is I was misgendered in it.

To expand, this person who I choose to not name, included me in one tweet of the thread, in which I was misgendered. This person also included screenshots of my account some that dated back to 2022 when I was still a teenager/freshly 18, EVERY account I have on the Internet, along with out of context interpersonal drama from 2022 with 3-4 other at the time teenagers being the ones involved. It was drama that had happened and passed, everyone involved was young, and everyone involved has (presumably) moved on.

The person who posted this "callout" included a rather steamy message I sent without being involved in what prompted said message, only using one specific part of it to get a moral high ground over me. I am led to believe this person is a significantly older adult than me, so posting something that had to do with a bunch of teenagers 2 years ago is quite frankly immature.

I digress, as the most important issue was me being misgendered. I must mention again that this person has 5000~ followers, including being mutuals with rather large artists. At the time of posting the callout my twitter had 497 (now has 498). I do not even have a 10th of the posters following, and I was publicly misgendered in a post where I am made out as a stalker freak.

I thankfully have not (yet) received mass harassment. However I did have someone say me being misgendered was a "skill issue" and then called a slut. Note that one of the main arguments the poster made was hypothetical harassment, where I was actually harassed. Screenshots below.

The reason I'm so upset about the misgendering is not just doing so in front of a large audience, it is also because of the poster provided such specific shit about me and still posted the callout with the wrong pronouns.

Here's a list from memory of what the poster included:

- Dozens of screenshots of me complaining about stuff on my own account(s)

- Two (2) qrts of me disagreeing with bad takes

- One screenshot of drama from 2 years ago that this likely older adult wasn't involved with, drama that occurred between teenagers.

- One screenshot of my bio on this blog??

- One prehistoric screenshot an older post of me being like "haha I'm a bitch wacking a hornets nest" that has a super old layout from idk how long ago (I might be mixing that one up with a different screenshot, either way both are there)

- Usernames of my Twitter, my private Twitter, My main Tumblr, this Tumblr, and my Instagram that I don't use. Only two accounts that I have on the Internet were spared.

Is the issue clear?

I am upset about the misgendering because the poster got all this barely inflammatory shit that I have said, as well as revealing almost every account I have on the Internet and STILL MISGENDERED ME. Showing so much random stuff from my accounts as long as revealing all of them is already odd behavior, but the misgendering is completely unacceptable in this context. Someone digging through my online presence like this should know I use it/its exclusively and hate they/them. Here's some places where my pronouns are and how fucking easy it is to find them:

The ONLY EXCEPTION is my Instagram. Which I genuinely have not used in years. I had the pronouns set to she/they/he because back when I created that account, it/its was not an option. I checked, it's now an option, but because I don't use that account I never changed it. This account has old art as profile picture, three outdated pronouns, outdated names, zero posts, and a link to my old carrd. It's out of date, and 4 out of 5 other sources say it/it's only. Here's a screenshot of this account to show:

So yeah. The only excuse is if the poster got the screenshots from other people, even then you should have checked before addressing me. After me and my friends pointed out I was misgendered, the only update was saying that correcting my pronouns was a "minor correction." This is unacceptable to me. My pronouns are related to my entire identity and existence, fixing a misgender of me in front of your audience of 5000 is not a minor correction. That is a very major correction that also warrants you fixing that section of the callout post, reposting it, and personally apologizing to me. However, none of this happened so I will no longer accept an apology at this time, as the damage is already done. Misgendering a transgender person who doesn't even have a tenth of your following, in what is possibly the most inflammatory and bullshit callout post I've ever read is extremely fucking dangerous. Evidence of which I already provided, where a possible transphobe said my misgendering was a skill issue and then called me a slut. If the poster is reading this, I really hope you understand how much danger you put me in and how lucky we all are that this callout has had almost no effect on me socially. I am so incredibly lucky that I only received transphobic harassment from one person.

This next section is an optional read, I wanna talk about cyberstalking and callout culture

Warning for mentions of abuse

It just so happens that I am a victim of an abusive relationship where I was cyberstalked. Let me tell you what that was like, warning for those who are sensitive to abuse/stalking and how it affects people.

I broke up with a romantic partner January 31st 2022, and after I did, the partner posted lies about me, and claimed that I showed various forms of bigotry without providing evidence. I had one suspicious account follow this blog, which I inferred was this ex partner trying to get regular access to my posts. In addition, the ex partner made new twitter accounts and went out of their way to follow people who were in the same circle of twitter as me, and regularly post negative statements on my character. Mostly they never used my name (this is why I can't/couldn't take legal action) however there was at least 3 times where they had replied to someone about me, and then DM'd that person telling them that I was terrible and to be blocked.

One of those times occurred on April 19th 2023. A mutual had quote retweeted a shitpost I made thinking it was funny, then this ex-partner told them on a private account that I was toxic and should be blocked. The mutual didn't oblige, and thus I began to be mentioned by name and blatantly harassed. Because of this I had no choice but to post a google document about my experience with this ex-partner. After that they admitted they were wrong, and have left me alone since. (This document can be found on my twitter but I will not link it as I genuinely believe my ex is trying to/has changed. I will only provide it through DMs if you ask)

Unfortunately, the effects of cyberstalking that occurred through 2022-2023 ruined me. I was in college at the time, and because of this cyberstalking I had to drop out. I couldn't do my homework. I couldn't go to class. I rarely left my room to relieve myself or clean myself. I barely ate or bought food. I could barely leave my dorm. I did not feel safe. This is the reality of cyberstalking.

Through my own real experience and severely negative effects of cyberstalking, I can confidently say that I did not cyberstalk the poster of the callout. The "evidence" provided did not prove such.

Let's talk about why I was included in the callout that was mainly about someone else. I cannot speak on whether this mutual cyberstalked. I followed them on my main and private Twitters because I enjoyed their takes. I am not close with this person and am not an "accomplice" but rather a bystander that didn't give a shit.

The reason I was included in the callout is because quite frankly the sidlink community does not like me. They have not liked me since I was 13-14 (under a different blog) and I left the community at that age and made new blogs. I have always been pretty outspoken about my opinions and thus have been blocked over it, which is completely fair. It is also completely fair to dislike me and disagree with me.

What is not fair is having such a boiled up clearly long term hatred for me, and readily throw serious accusations at me when the chance arrives. I have not ever tried to cancel sidlink shippers. While I have stated before that I believe the ship to be slightly weird, never have I ever made an inflammatory callout post about one of them, claiming that they did something illegal.

My section of the callout has poor evidence, bad formatting, and I believe it has no ALT text. In addition the entire callout has this, what I can only describe as a "girlypop" esc font, and includes a quirky image of Sidon at the end. This shows me that the poster is not taking the situation as seriously as is being claimed. If it was truly a serious situation, you'd make it an accessible document/post that has actual relevant evidence.

This callout post, or at least my section, is everything that many people on Tumblr/Twitter have said is wrong with "callout culture." I'm being labeled as a problematic, irredeemable cyberstalker (not to mention dehumanized through misgendering) for things that happened 2 years ago, and me complaining about things on my own accounts.

I believe callouts should be reserved for abusers/bigots only. Even then, readers of the callout should be extra critical. People often make bogus callouts on trans people online (particularly trans women/transfems) and that is exactly what happened here. I am a transmasculine lesbian, and I have had a bogus callout made on me. What's particularly annoying and also revealing to me is I saw 2 default profiles on the #sidon tag here on tumblr repost screenshots of my section of the callout (and I don't think they did this with the person the callout was mainly about??? Literally just me???) I must reiterate how lucky I am I have not been harassed further, as most trans people this happens to are run off the internet.

Most callouts are either immature drama that should have been handled privately, straight up bullshit, or both. In my case it's bullshit. No one should ever ever spread around callouts (especially ones where the accused is trans) without being critical about who's posting it, why, what their evidence is and how it relates to the callout subject, and what the identity of the accused/accuser is. Callouts should never be made for interpersonal issues unless bigotry and abuse is involved. Callout posts about trans people where the trans person is misgendered should not be heard out until the callout is fixed, reposted, and then the poster apologizes for the mistake at least on a personal level. As far as I am aware in my case, it was only referred to as a "minor correction" and no apology was made. One person already harassed me about it, so even if it's minor my point is proved.

I would also like to express how upset I am that the callout did almost nothing to me. The harassment from one person upsets me, but the fact that I have not lost a follower here, and even GAINED a follower on Twitter proves my above points that callout culture is extremely immature (and pointless). The poster gained absolutely nothing other than interactions and surface level support from the 5000+ follower base.

(optional read end)

WHEW. That all being said, my original topic from the first paragraph. With the exception of my beloved mutuals, current followers, and casual sidlink shippers, I wish that sidlink shippers who are active in the ships community to not follow me on any websites. I have had bad experiences with this community since I was 13, and I am finally done. This was my breaking point. I am no longer comfortable in any way with people from said community sharing a space with me. You can honestly analyze this new boundary yourself. If you ship sidlink and disagree with that callout you're welcome here. But if you are actively spreading the callout, and interacting with the people who are responsible for it I ask politely that you leave me alone. Here's a GIF I find relatable to lighten the mood and hopefully make up for this incredibly long read. If you read the whole thing, thank you so much.

(Another note, this is my first time making ALT text on these types of complicated screenshots. If I did something wrong regarding formatting please please let me know!)

#sidon #<- if you are going to include that callout on me in fandom tags so am I. I am aware of the breach of etiquette but this is unfair to me #I'm sane enough to not include ship tags so the intended audience won't see this but oh well #I was genuinely not gonna feel better until I extensively got my side of the story out so this helped me a lot #People can reblog if they want #For the record I'm okay. I'm safe. I have a support system and I'm not going to be hurt :]#Again if you read the whole thing thank you so so much #Also. If I post this leave it up for an hour and then delete it because I got scared I'm sorry 😭😭😭#I'm super indecisive about this sort of thing #like I held on to the original draft document about my ex partner for a year until I was forced to edit and post it 😭😭#So yeah uhh will this stay up?? I dunno boss! depends on the response I get

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chrrywvea · 1 year

Text

ME AND WHO

(still not over this. so adorable♡)

#richard kruspe #richard z kruspe #paul landers #they are the cutest #can we normalize platonically smooching your bestie #bc like #don't we all need some lovin sometimes #ofc only if both parties consent here #safe sane consensual #always #gif creds to original owner

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beanie-twink · 11 months

Note

This time I got some sleeping at last recs for you!

Before I started compiling them I was convinced that it was mostly gonna be angst again, but honestly? I think this might have the highest amount of happy songs (4/7) I’ve recced you so far lmao

1. Mercury

→ we’re still gonna start with the angst tho

→ at first I was gonna say this feels a lot like anthony post leaving smosh…

but honestly?

I really feel like it fits both of them pretty well during that time

“Rows of houses sound asleep

Only street lights notice me

I am desperate if nothing else

In a holding pattern to find myself”

“I talk in circles, I talk in circles

I watch for signals, for a clue

How to feel different, how to feel new

No one can unring this bell

Unsound this alarm, unbreak my heart new

God knows, I am dissonance

Waiting to be swiftly pulled into tune”

“I'll go anywhere you want, anywhere you want

Anywhere you want me”

(-> doesn’t really fit that time, but it still hits so hard with them imo)

“I know the further I go

The harder I try, only keeps my eyes closed

And somehow I've fallen in love

With this middle ground at the cost of my soul”

-> this part being about why Anthony left smosh and also kind of feeling like Ian "betrayed" a part of their soul by being willing to stay even though the content wasn't as good/connected to them as it used to be

(like obvi he doesn't think that way anymore, but I am soooo curious about what will be in that letter and I feel like it could be something along those lines)

2. North

→ literally their journey through the years

-> like from the start of building smosh until the rekindling and working together again

“We will call this place our home

The dirt in which our roots may grow

Though the storms will push and pull”

“We’ll tell our stories on these walls

Every year, measure how tall

And just like a work of art”

“A little broken, a little new

We are the impact and the glue

Capable of more than we know

We call this fixer upper home”

“With each year, our color fades

Slowly, our paint chips away

But we will find the strength

And the nerve it takes

To repaint and repaint and repaint every day”

→ especially this part is so!!!

“Smaller than dust on this map

Lies the greatest thing we have:

The dirt in which our roots may grow

And the right to call it home”

3. East

→ both of them reminiscing on the past and when they first started creating videos together

“I set out to rule the world

With only a paper shield and a wooden sword

No mountain dare stand in my way”

“My kingdom towers above it all

While I sleep safe and sound in my cardboard walls”

“Now I bear little resemblance to the king I once was

I bear little resemblance to the king I could become

Maybe paper is paper, maybe kids will be kids

Lord, I wanna remember how to feel like I did”

4. West

→ Ian’s POV both during the “between years” and I also kinda see it as him reassuring Anthony that they will work things out together

“Maps stretched out

Too many miles to count

Let's just say we're inches apart

And even closer at heart”

“Another pin pushed in

To remind us where we've been

And every mile adds up

And leaves a mark on us

And sometimes our compass breaks

And our steady true north fades”

-> just the idea of both of them kind of thinking of the other as their compass/the person that gives them a sense of direction in life

-> and back to vidcon also as a reference to Ian loosing his "magnifying glass"

“We'll be just fine

I just know we will”

“Time moves slow

When half of your heart has yet to come home

Every minute's adding up

And leaving a mark on us

I can't get you out of my mind

I solemnly that I'll never try”

(I am so normal about the last part of this song, I swear! *sobs*)

5. I'll keep you safe

→ again, them reconnecting and deciding to create videos together again

“I'll keep you safe

Try hard to concentrate

Hold out your hand

Can you feel the weight of it?

The whole world at your fingertips”

“Don't be, don't be afraid

Our mistakes, they were bound to be made

But I promise you I'll keep you safe”

“You are an artist

But your heart is your masterpiece

And I'll keep it safe”

“As you build up your collection

Of pearls that you pulled from the deep

A landscape more beautiful

Than anything that I've ever seen”

→ this part just reminds me a lot of the whole sun/magnifying glass conversation as well, if that makes sense?

6. Light

→ the reconnection, mainly through Anthony’s POV; except for the orange line which was literally Ian when Anthony left

“May these words be the first to find your ears

The world is brighter than the sun now that you're here

Though your eyes will need some time to adjust

To the overwhelming light surrounding us”

“I'll give you everything I have

I'll teach you everything I know

I promise I'll do better

I will always hold you close

But I will learn to let you go

I promise I'll do better

I will soften every edge

I'll hold the world to its best

And I'll do better

With every heartbeat I have left

I will defend your every breath

And I'll do better”

“Cause you are loved, you are loved more than you know

I hereby pledge all of my days to prove it so”

7. Seven

→ I listen to the album this is on a lot but somehow this song always slipped past me before

→ but in connection with Ianthony?? hits so good istg

→ the final and (imo) happiest song on this list

→ literally them right now, just being so excited about being best friends and working on smosh videos again <3

→ especially Anthony’s POV (mostly fueled by all the vidcon content)

“How nice it'd be if we could try everything

I'm serious, let's make a list and just begin

"What about danger?" So what? "What about risk?"

Let's climb this mountain before we cross that bridge!”

“'Cause I'm restless

For whatever comes next”

“How wonderful to see a smile on your face

It costs farewell tears for a welcome home parade

A secret handshake between me and my one life

( → them just doing the friendship high-five over and over again)

I'll find the silver lining no matter what the price”

“'Cause I'm hungry

For whatever comes next”

“But I want to be here

Truly be here

To watch the ones that I love bloom

And I want to make room

To love them through and through and through

And through the slow and barren seasons too

I feel hope Deep in my bones

Tomorrow will be beautiful”

“And I'm ready

Restless and hungry

For whatever comes next”

Honourable mentions:

(As in not accurate enough for a whole song analysis for them, but some of the vibes are there)

(These two especially leaning more towards the anxiety that Anthony has talked about)

Neptune

Pluto

Always gotta start with angst also I HAVE NEVER HIT TAG LIMIT B4 THIS IS WHAT YOUR RECS DID TO ME

#mercury ruined me #wallpaper-inside-my-heart you’ve done it again #‘I’ll go anywhere you want me’ and I’m supposed to be sane #‘the harder I try only keeps my eyes closed’ makes me think of like them trying so hard to make it work back then but not realizing #That they need to grow apart for a little #so like that part is like Ian #ALL OF NORTH IS SO THEM REBUILDING #can I just say east starts out so good that piano medley is so beautiful #EAST IS SO EARLY SMOSH CODED #AND….'the years wore on and changed my heart' is how they changed while making smosh and how Anthony lost sight of that start #‘we’ll be just fine’ in west oh okay I’m losing my mind #even just the title of ‘I’ll keep you safe’ is enough to make me lose it personally #Anthony being like no we can do it we can create again!!! and showing Ian when they have that first writing session #‘don’t be afraid’ SHUT UP RN.#not a single hehehe moment in the building rn #DARKNESS REWRITTEN BY THEIR REUNION.#‘your heart is a masterpiece’ my god please I’m gonna fall to my knees #‘the world is brighter than the sun now that you’re here’…I need therapy rn #‘I promise I’ll do better’ STOP?!?!?!?#‘I will soften every edge’ Anthony when he let go and stopped being bitter and angry #‘your eyes will need time to adjust’ bc they spent so much time apart #GIVE YOU EVERYTHING I HAVE.#OP PLEASE #DEFENDING EVERY BREATH.#YOU ARE LOVED?!)/&:&/@2 #you connecting the part in seven to the handshake IM SICK #THE WELCOME HOME PARTJSKAJSJSJD #‘I want to be here truly be here’ good fucking bye #literally Anthony #ianthony song recs

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