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fandom-junk-drawer · 2 years

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The Witcher Headcanon (Modern AU) - Comfort

Yennefer is strong and independent. She rarely asks for help, and tries to take care of things on her own. She can handle most things on her own, but when it comes to the common cold, she gets...clingy. And grouchy.

First, she will be grumpy. Really grumpy. Bite your head off and feed it to the dogs grumpy. Then, after she lays in her blanket cocoon for a while, she decides she wants cuddles and shuffles out of her room like a zombie. She will hunt down the nearest warm body and cling like a limpet.

Jaskier was still awake when Yennefer dragged herself out of bed. She had been trying to sleep off her head cold, but it wasn't working. She felt antsy, and she was cold. And her nose kept running. And she kept coughing. And her throat was sore....

And Geralt had gone out on a hunt. And she had snapped at Jaskier earlier that morning when he'd just been trying to take care of her, and now she was feeling a little guilty about it, and a little lonely.

He'd been so attentive too...making sure she was comfortable, tucking her in with her old plush cat, making sure she ate and drank, and cuddling with her until she fell asleep.

She supposed her head cold was some kind of divine punishment for laughing when Jaskier and Geralt had fallen out of the van they were restoring while running from the cockroaches that had swarmed out from under the backseat. And the paneling. It had been funny, though...

The bard was laying on the couch, his blanket on his chest, staring blankly at some latenight horror movie. He looked comfortable, and warm. Maybe he would let her curl up with him for a while.

Yennefer croaked his name, and Jaskier jumped with a startled cry that turned into a pained squeak.

Yen-! Oh f***********!

He curled up as pain flared briefly in his groin. Yeah...he'd definitely pulled something falling out of Roach.

Yennefer was standing over him, wrapped in a blanket, and clutching Sammy. In the eerie light of the tv screen she looked like a zombie: pale, disheveled, hoarse...

"You scared the h*ll out me, Yen!" he laughed when he could uncurl again. "I almost p*ssed myself! What are you doing up dear heart? Was the tv too loud? Did I wake you?" Yennefer shook her head and coughed, and Jaskier started to move to sit up and make room for her on the couch.

She didn't even wait for him move. He was still laying down when she crawled up on him.

Jaskier tensed, breath hitching when she settled her body weight on him, but then he grunted in surprise when the pain just...disappeared.

He lay there a moment afraid to move in case the pain decided to come back. But it didn't, and he turned his attention to Yennefer when she shifted a little so she could lay her head on his chest.

"You miss that big idiot Witcher, huh? Well, I'm not as warm as Geralt, but I'm warmer than Sammy, and a better cuddler." Jaskier patted the stuffed cat on the head "No offense, Sammy."

Yennefer smiled a little and lightly held on to him, rubbing the thin material of his t-shirt between her fingers like she usually did to Sammy's ear.

Sorry I snapped at you, Songbird.

Hush, now. I know you don't feel well. Everyone is grumpy when they're sick. Except for Geralt. He's grumpy all the time.

Jaskier tucked her blanket around her lower half, and slowly ran his hand up and down her back. He could feel a little fever heat through her oversized t-shirt (which she'd stolen from Geralt), but it wasn't too bad.

He lay with her like that, humming to her, stroking her hair, kissing the top of her head, and flipping through the channels until she fell asleep. Then he was left watching some bad comedy show while trying to ignore her congested snoring and the drool and snot that was slowly soaking into the front of his shirt.

He would have gotten up and put her back in bed, but he was loath to move her. She had stopped shivering, and she looked so relaxed and comfortable.

He winced a little as he moved and realized that the snot had glued his shirt to his chest hair. Ugh, it was already getting gooey! Maybe the drool would keep it from dying out completely.

Yen muttered in her sleep, twitching a little, and Jaskier carefully tucked her hair behind her ear. "Shhh, I'm here, Yen. I've got you."

Jaskier carefully shifted around, bending his knee to rest it against the back of the couch, and moving his other leg so his foot could hang off the edge of the seat. "Sorry, love, but my legs were falling asleep." he said apologetically when the witch grumbled a sleepy protest.

He rubbed her back in slow circles for a few minutes until she was properly back asleep, then tucked Sammy under her arm. He reached down and picked his blanket up off the floor from where it had fallen ealier, and put it up near his head, out of the way of the snot and drool puddle on his chest.

Jaskier yawned, finally begining to lose the battle with sleep. He worried briefly what Geralt was going to think if he came home and found them like this. It wasn't their usual way of cuddling.

He hoped the Witcher wouldn't think they were doing anything behind his back. Sure Jaskier had a reputation, but surely Geralt wouldn't think...surely he knew him better than that?

He loved his friends, and he'd never hurt them like that! Sure, he called Yennefer sexy (because she was), but Yen was special to him.

She was both the motherly older sister and the How Much Trouble Can We Get Into Today sister he didn't know he'd been missing.

He loved her and he would never jeopardize their relationship. I'm not the kind of guy who would go behind my best friend's back with his lady!

No, you'd blatantly do it right in front of him! came Yen's barely coherent, yet amused thoughts in his head.

"Reading my thoughts again, dear heart?" Jaskier whispered with a quiet chuckle, kissing her hair.

Distorted images of a 10ft tall Yennefer putting her foot up Geralt's backside danced through Jaskier's head.

Jaskier responded with a sleepy smile and hugged her "I know, you'll set him straight." He felt her relax in his arms as she her mind voice mumbled affectionately, "Sleep well, Bard."

He whispered fondly "Sleep well, Witch." before finally falling asleep.

#the witcher #the witcher headcanon #yennefer #yennefer of vengerberg #yenskier #yennskier #yenneskier #yennaskier #soft!jaskeir #jaskier #julian alfred pankratz #the witcher modern au #twn #the witcher netflix #comfort headcanon #geralts van headcanon #henry cavill

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dawnsplaceyt · 2 years

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Had so much fun during Witcher Summer Camp! So happy to have this little banner! thank you again @witchersummercamp If you want to read any that I did you can find them on my fic profile @ficsforfundota or go directly to the A03 series I created for it! https://archiveofourown.org/series/2998197

#witchersummercamp #geraskier #the witcher #geralt x jaskeir #geralt of rivia #jaskier

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d-andilion · 2 years

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GERASKIER FAKE DATING

sorry for yelling I'm excited

okay i took my time filling this one but i think the results are worth it - i hope you think so too 😊

Jaskier is, surprisingly, a very good boyfriend.

Though being around old school friends and distant relations must have tempted him to abandon his anti-social plus one, he’s hardly left Geralt’s side all day. He introduces Geralt to everyone who approaches them and takes the lead in every conversation to minimize how much Geralt has to talk to strangers. After every interaction, Jaskier leads them inconspicuously to the edge of the room for a welcome break from the buzz of the reception hall around them.

Of course, being a groomsman and brother to the bride means Jaskier has had to step away for round upon round of pictures, but he never goes far and he returns the second he’s able. The only point over the course of the entire wedding where Geralt has had to speak to someone by himself was just after the ceremony, and even then it was only Jaskier’s grandmother.

She was a sweet, stout old woman who smelled of the boiled sweets she pulled from her handbag every so often and popped into her mouth. She ambled up to Geralt the moment Jaskier stepped away, taking his arm as if she belonged there.

“Diedre,” she said. “But you call me Nan, everyone does.”

Geralt could only nod, but she didn’t seem to mind or even really notice. She chattered to him about how handsome he was, how polite and well mannered, nothing at all like anyone Jaskier had brought home before. Apparently, her “little Buttercup” had a habit of falling for unsuitable folk. He was just too sweet, she reckoned.

Jaskier hustled over to rescue him the moment his sister set him free from post-ceremony photos, kissing Nan’s cheek and transferring her from Geralt’s arm to one of the many cousins milling around.

Before Jaskeir could steer her away, though, she patted Geralt’s lapel with her gloved hand and smiled at him. “Perfect for my Buttercup,” she said. Jaskier’s blush could have stopped traffic.

Geralt imagines he could have done worse for solo social interactions in this crowd. He didn’t actually have to say anything to Nan before Jaskier saved him, and no one else has tried to corner him since. It’s been a long, long day, but Geralt has had worse. The food is amazing, the champagne flows freely.

And Jaskier is there. He’s in Geralt’s space, holding his hand, kissing his cheek, fixing his tie, smiling at him like there’s nowhere else in the world he’d rather be. Jaskier is the perfect, gentle, kind, attentive boyfriend.

Geralt just wishes Jaskier were his boyfriend.

Everyone thinks he is, of course. That was the plan. Jaskier came to Geralt a week before the wedding with big puppy eyes telling him about the very serious relationship he’d been lying to his parents about for the past few months. If Jaskier came to his sister’s wedding alone, even if he feigned some excuse for his non-existent significant other, his parents would surely be onto him. It had, apparently, happened before.

Geralt would be the perfect stand-in, Jaskier reasoned. His parents already knew Geralt a little, so there would be no chance that they wouldn’t like him, and the two of them were already so comfortable around each other that a little extra PDA would be no big deal. It was only one day of Geralt’s life with gourmet food and free top-shelf booze. It would be easy.

Now, standing in the dimly lit reception hall while a sickly sweet love song plays over the speakers with Jaskier tucked into his side in a perfectly fitted tux, Geralt feels like the biggest fucking idiot on the planet.

Being in love with his best friend had never been easy. Most days, it felt like drowning. But Geralt would give anything for that feeling right now, because this, watching Jaskier pretend to be his, pretend to be in love with him—

This feels like being buried alive.

Jaskier is talking, his voice low and intimate like no one exists outside their little bubble, and Geralt doesn’t hear a word because they’re so close.

So close that their noses could touch if Geralt tilted his head the slightest bit, and it’s impossible to focus on the words coming out of Jaskier’s mouth when Geralt can feel the oxygen running out around him.

So close that Geralt can’t really see Jaskier’s face, just the blue of his eyes, and Geralt can feel his lungs burning as he forgets to breathe, but if he had to pick a way to go, he’d want a view like this.

So close that it’s awkward for Geralt to keep his hands to himself, so he places his hand on the small of Jaskier’s back and it feels so fucking good to hold him like this that Geralt almost doesn’t care how much it’s going to hurt when he has to let go.

Maybe, Geralt thinks, if he doesn’t close his eyes, if he holds perfectly still, then they can stay like this forever. Maybe he can trap them in this moment, surrounded by tipsy Pankratzes while cheesy love songs play in the background.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

This was a terrible idea.

Geralt, predictably, is an amazing boyfriend.

He’s shy around Jaskier’s family as expected, but he converses politely whenever required and everyone is charmed to death by his dry humor. On the few occasions that Jaskier has stepped away from Geralt’s side, all anyone can say to him is how wonderful his boyfriend is, how happy they are for him. He’s heard more than a few cheeky comments about the next Pankratz to walk down the aisle with winks in his direction.

Nan was the worst out of all of them.

Jaskier felt his gut drop when he saw her make a B-line for Geralt. He loved his grandmother more than anything, but fuck knows what that woman would say. The moment his sister was satisfied with the photos they’d taken, he moved as quickly as his trousers would allow him to Geralt’s rescue.

“Perfect for my Buttercup,” she said before Jaskier could stop her. Geralt’s pale skin turned bright pink.

“I told you to leave him be, you sneaky old bat,” Jaskier scolded once they were out of earshot. Nan just cackled.

He passed her over to an unoccupied cousin quicker than he would have if he hadn’t had Geralt to get back to, but not before she could cup his cheek and smile gently at him.

“He’s the one, Buttercup,” she told him. “Don’t let him get away.”

It’s lucky, Jaskier thinks, that he’d always been a good actor. He had to keep up the pretense of having fun for the rest of the night and every time he thought about Nan’s words, he felt like he was a thousand feet below water and sinking deeper every second.

Jaskier knew Geralt was the one. He’d known it almost since the day they met. Ten years they’d known each other and Jaskier couldn’t look at anyone else no matter how hard he tried. Geralt is it for Jaskier.

He just wishes that he could be it for Geralt.

Everyone is fooled, just like Jaskier knew they would be. Being in love with Geralt was the easy part. He did it every day of his life. A few cheek kisses and prolonged hand holding are no great tasks in comparison. The hard part is knowing that the moment they leave the wedding, these soft touches will disappear like they’d never happened at all.

Things have died down at the reception a bit, leaving them to stand peacefully at the edge of the room. Jaskier is talking about something unimportant, some family gossip he picked up from Nan at dinner. Not even particularly good gossip. He’s talking to talk because it feels like his chest will collapse in on itself if he stills for even a second.

They’re so close, he and Geralt. Close enough that Jaskier can barely see the soft grin on Geralt’s face, just the slightest upturn of lips. He’s looking at Jaskier like there’s nothing in the world he’d rather listen to than boring Pankratz family gossip. Like Jaskier hung the moon.

Jaskier never should have suggested this. He should have come to the wedding by himself and swallowed the lectures from his parents with one too many glasses of wine the way he usually does. It would have been more bearable than this, than watching Geralt pretend to be his boyfriend, pretend to love Jaskier the way he’s always loved Geralt—

This hurts more than his mother’s sharp words or his father’s disappointed sighs ever could.

Geralt rests his hand at the small of Jaskier’s back and Jaskier wants to scream but it’s all he can do to keep breathing in and out. What would happen, he wonders, if he told Geralt he loved him right now? Would Geralt leave? Would it ruin everything? Would it be worth it?

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck.

This was a terrible fucking idea.

more fic from me

#im very happy with this one #my fic #mine #geraskier #geraskier fic #geralt x jaskier #jaskier x geralt

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eomereadig · 3 months

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Snippet: Untitled #1

Teeny tiny lil fic :)

Fandom: The Witcher

Pairing: Geralt/Jaskier

Rating: G

Tags: fluff, cuddling and snuggling, winters at Kaer Morhen, Geralt loves Jaskier

Full fic avaliable here

Even a handful of times later, when Geralt was able to predict Jaskier’s post-climb behaviour with near-complete accuracy, that thought always gave him a moment of pause, of panic.

This time, though, Geralt swallowed around the lump in his throat. Despite the back of his mind telling him one thing, Geralt was relatively sure that Jaskier was not dying and instead the same mixture of exhausted, chilly and feverish that most humans were after a trying climb. Gods, Geralt remembered feeling that way the first time he’d climbed The Killer. He was only a boy then, even before his first set of trials, but he remembered how unpleasant it had been as clear as day.

Geralt was sure that Jaskier had the strength to move, to go up to the bedroom they shared each winter and to help Geralt unpack. But the witcher thought he could afford Jaskier this - if only for a few hours.

With a quiet sigh, Geralt hoisted Jaskier’s bags onto his shoulder from where he’d dropped them unceremoniously by the door, and lugged them over to the bottom of the winding, spiral staircase that led up to the second floor. He’d unpack Jaskier’s possessions himself, Geralt decided. He’d known his love long enough by now to know where Jaskier liked them, anyway.

Content to leave the bard to his own devices for the time being - namely, getting warm - Geralt padded over to the fire and tossed on another log lest it burn itself out before Jaskeir was ready to come up. He’d make another fire in their bedroom regardless, something to keep Jaskier warm up there, too.

Full fic avaliable here

#geraskier #the witcher: jaskier #the witcher: geralt #livy's writing #the witcher fanfics #geralt x jaskier

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fangirleaconmigo · 3 months

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Jaskeir is antsy. This is no surprise to him or anyone who knows him, he's always antsy at this time of year. The frost is almost gone, it's is still cold at night and the ground haven't thawed yet but the rays of the sun warms him when it can break through the clouds.

It means that soon, very soon, maybe just a couple of weeks, he can leave Oxenfurt and head out to meet up with Geralt. It'll be a bit more time before Geralt can leave Kaer Morhen of course, with the keep being buried deep in Kaedweni the mountains. But that's okay, that just gives Jaskier a chance to look around Ard Carraigh a bit. That's fine.

What is not fine is waiting to leave. These last few weeks before he can go he's tense and as close curt as he ever gets, the impatience a never ending itch beneath his skin, the only thing keeping him sane the eternally perpetuated mantra, "soon".

Ahhhhhh this is beautiful. Thank you! It really captures the bittersweet joy and pain of the wait almost being over but not just yet. Ohhhh they love each other.

#the witcher #jaskier #what is Jaskier doing right now

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comfyswitcherblanketfort · 2 years

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Too Quiet

I’ve been having a hard time getting the words onto the screen so I gave myself an OG ‘there was only one bed’ prompt and well- those are words

CW: geraskier, only one bed, artificial bed scarcity, two idiots pretending not to like each other

Also on AO3

_________________

Geralt usually listened in when Jaskier charmed innkeepers on his behalf, the silver-tongued idiot often forgot whatever convincing lie got them a room and it helped if Geralt could play along later, but this crowd was too loud for Geralt to properly focus. He sighed and accepted their fate when Jaskier told him there was only one room available, but hey, at least this one had a reasonably sized bed. It looked almost big enough for two adults to sleep comfortably.

As the two settled in for bed and the sounds of drunken good times dwindled down to murmured rumors and confessions punctuated with hiccups, Geralt expected to hear snores and people shuffling about in the rooms near them. Only it was dead quiet. Unlacing his boots, he closed his eyes and tried his best to pick up any signs of life from the nearby rooms to no avail. There were certainly fewer people downstairs than when they ate dinner, so where did they all go?

Resting his elbows on his knees, his eyes tracked Jaskier as he pondered the little puzzle he’d made for himself. Did Jaskier lie about something? Did Jaskier get caught in a lie and this was a sort of punishment? Could the bard really never hear the people in the rooms next to them at inns? What a fucking luxury.

If Jaskier noticed he didn’t show it, humming and tapping a beat out with his fingers on any surface he was near enough as he moved about the room and got ready for bed. He very gracefully wasted time. Geralt almost admired the way he managed to look busy while doing absolutely nothing. That pill was decidedly easier to swallow than what he really admired.

He’d held out quite a while, but more and more Geralt found himself speechless when Jaskeir looked him in the eye. The bard would smile and Geralt would feel lighter. He was getting more worried about Jaskier’s apparent lack of self-preservation by the day, and most recently, he’d felt a little bit of jealousy as he watched the bard flirt for coin.

Jaskier finally turned to look at him with his hands on his hips, “You’re acting strange.” he huffed.

For a moment Geralt was almost self-conscious, having been caught, but he recovered quickly enough for his pride to be spared, “It’s quiet. You said this was the last available room.”

“I thought you liked your blessed silence?” Jaskier’s eyes nearly rolled out of his head before he tugged his shirt over his head and pulled the bedding down.

Geralt made a point to deadpan until he was sure Jaskier could feel how much he didn’t like the joke in his bones before he moved on, “Normally I hear people going about their night, or snoring. It’s dead quiet.”

A look of mild horror crossed Jaskier’s face and he hesitated before slowly and carefully crawling into bed, “C-can you really hear through walls?”

“Thin ones like this?” Geralt knocked on the wall as he swung his legs under the blankets, “Sure.”

“That's… violating.” Jaskier decided, staring up at the ceiling with his lips pressed in a firm line and a slight blush on his cheeks.

Geralt almost couldn’t keep the fond smile off his lips as he shuffled into a comfortable position, “I’m painfully aware.”

The silence between them seemed to go on for hours, Jaskier’s heartbeat fluctuating as he laid there stiff as a board and fiddling with the hem of the blanket. Without the normal background of nonsense noise, Jaskier’s movements and very existence were even more distracting. Geralt tried not to think too hard about the nights toward the beginning of spring where they huddled together for warmth. Of Jaskier’s arms wrapped tight around him as he pulled Geralt’s back to his chest. He always gave the excuse that Geralt was a walking furnace, but Geralt really wouldn’t need an excuse. If he could get over his pride and that nagging ridiculous fear ever-present in his mind, he would hold Jaskier even when it was warm.

“I wonder why the innkeeper would have given us this room when the others are free,” Jaskier’s voice climbed at least one octave as he lied through his teeth.

Geralt furrowed his brow and glanced to the side, unable to completely eradicate the smirk growing on his lips, “Oh? Didn’t call me darling this time then?”

Jaskier snorted and lazily whacked Geralt in the ribs, “Not this time.”

“Y’know, if you wanted a cuddle all you had to do was ask,” Geralt teased, nudging Jaskier with his elbow and hoping if he made it sound outrageous to Jaskier he too would stop yearning for it.

Sputtering and completely horrified, Jaskier propped himself up on his elbow to look down at Geralt, “How dare you insinuate- I have integrity- To use trickery instead of speaking one's feelings?! No bard would be so hopeless and foolish! Preposterous!”

A true frown of confusion took over Geralt’s face, his heart racing as he tried his best to keep his tone light, this was his friend damnit. Just. his. Friend.

“Did you…intentionally….?”

Jaskier’s face turned a bright shade of red seemingly in the blink of an eye, several different emotions flitting across his eyes before he flopped back to his pillow, rolling to face away from Geralt and muttering, “I hope you hear the dogs fucking tonight.”

Stewing in his confusion for a moment, Geralt only realized he’d struck some sort of chord with his bard when he heard him take a deep, shaky breath. He hadn’t meant to, and he certainly didn’t want to hurt the bard’s feelings but it didn’t quite make sense how he’d done it this time.

“Jaskier-”

“Leave it.” Jaskier’s tone set him back on his metaphorical heels.

Geralt glared a hole in the ceiling while his little self-loathing brain did its best to put the puzzle together. If Jaskier was embarrassed over him insinuating Jaskier asked for a single bed, then that would mean Jaskier wanted to share a bed. But it wasn’t cold by any stretch of the imagination, and if it had been to save coin he would have told Geralt already. So that meant Jaskier was… embarrassed that Geralt knew…?

“Oh.”

“Fuck, I knew you wouldn’t leave it alone.” Jaskier sounded suddenly older, far more tired than just five minutes ago.

Several thoughts were buzzing about Geralt’s head, not the least of which being his bewilderment, but he stayed quiet. Instead, he chose to wrap his arm around Jaskier’s waist and pull him close, pressing his cheek between the bard’s shoulder blades. He felt Jaskier tense and hold his breath for a moment before Geralt placed a small kiss to his spine.

“I wouldn’t be mad if you did,” Geralt whispered, unsure of how else to express the embarrassingly giddy feeling of hope how blossoming in his chest.

Jaskier practically deflated in his arms, heaving a deep relieved sigh before laying one hand over Geralt’s where it rested just below his sternum, “I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about.”

“Mmm… you seemed cold.”

“Well, this room is positively frigid.”

Geralt only chuckled and pulled Jaskier closer.

#geraskier #geraskier only one bed #the witcher #the witcher geraskier #geralt of rivia #geralt #jaskier #jullian alfred pankratz #geraskier canon universe #ish

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dapandapod · 2 years

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The Very Long Day

HELLO!

I forgot i didn't post this one? Did I? It was hiding in a live write channel I forgot to look in, but I am finally kicking the writers blocks butt, so i am again attempting to post! This is also not me projecting. Not at all. Don't look at my giant dragon-teddy Harold Francis. This is pure fiction. uhm.

Please enjoy them snuggles!!

On ao3

------------------------------------------------- Geralt's exhausted. The day has been. Very long.

Punctuation is important, Jaskier tells him repeatedly, and who is he to defy this dramatic drama kid. Problem is, Jaskier is taking up most of the couch.

And not alone.

He is taking up most of the couch with a teddy the size of... well, him. The size of too-large-to-probably-be-a-teddy. There is barely any sign of Jaskier underneath it, in fact. Just a knee sticking out under the teddy butt, and arms wrapped around its body.

Fairly impressive, considering Jaskier is in no way small either.

"Make room." Geralt complains, hovering by the couch. It is a damn good couch, they bought it together, the least his silly roommate could do is budge over.

"Busy." comes Jaskier's muffled voice from underneath the teddy.

"You could still move your legs."

"Can't. Cuddling."

See? Punctuation.

"I want to sit on the couch too."

"It's full."

"No, it is just you."*

"How dare you! This is Sir Snivvilous the Second."

"Did you watch Harry Potter without me again?" Geralt drags his hand over his face. He wants to see too, but Jaskier is way too restless, if Geralt's work keeps him overtime.

"I watched it with Sir Scnivvilous the Second."

"Just move."

"No. I need a cuddle."

"Fine."

Jaskier probably doesn't realize what that 'fine' meant. Hell, Geralt didn't realize it until he yanked the teddy (Sir Snivvilous the third or whatever) out of Jaskier's grip, tossed it on the floor, and simply put himself in the teddy's place.

Perfect.

First, Jaskier had protested. But now, when Geralt plastered all over him, he is strangely quiet. It is not that they haven't ever cuddled before, Jaskier is very tactile, a friendly octopus if you will, and takes every chance to sit close.

But now his arms are hovering, his mouth is for once blessedly shut.

Geralt just sighs and shifts, letting the Very Long Day drain out of him.

"Didn't you want to cuddle?" Geralt teases when Jaskier still is pretty frozen underneath him.

Hesitantly, his hands make contact with Geralt's sides. Geralt is starting to get second thoughts about this whole thing, but then Jaskier's arms finally circle around his back and his knee shifts to rest between Geralt's legs, mirroring his pose with the teddy.

"So dramatic. You could have just asked me to move." Jaskier huffs, and then "Fuck, you are so much heavier."

"Asshole." Gerakt mutters, but shifts so that he is resting a little bit more on his side rather than letting Jaskier take the brunt of it.

"Aren't Mondays supposed to be the worst days of the week? Why are we so tired on a Tuesday?" Jaskeir complains after a moment of comfortable silence.

"Maybe Monday procrastinated." Geralt mumbles, turning his head around so that it rests in the crook of Jaskier's neck.

It is very fucking intimate, he realizes, and it makes his heart skip a beat when one of Jaskier's hands come up to play with the hair just above his ear, but he is too fucking tired to do something about it.

"Oh well. Got a real cuddle out of it at least."

"Don't get used to it." Geralt grumbles, making Jaskier make that mischievous laugh of his.

"That sounds like a challenge to me." He says, a finger tracing just underneath Geralt's temple, over his cheekbone.

Maybe he could get used to it.

Maybe he even should.

Maybe Geralt's had a secret dream or five about something similar to that before, that he won't ever tell anyone about.

Maybe Jaskier knows anyway.

So he just hums noncommittally, and Jaskier chuckles.

"Oh, it's on."

This Very Long Day was indeed Very Long.

But at the end of the week, maybe it will have led him to something good.

#geraskier #modern au #couch cuddles #geralt x jaskier #fluff #Sir Scnivvilous the Second.#the witcher #geralt of rivia #jaskier #dapanda writes #julian alfred pankratz #jaskier the bard #banter

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crowsncorvids · 3 months

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jaskier jaskeir ily jaskier my favourite guy ever hiii jaskier my cute little meow meow

#i need to watch the witcher again

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eggcompany · 1 month

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Jaskier and his Snuggly Wuggly Killing Machines Part 5

“I’ll show you your rooms but then it’s straight to the bath! You’ve got grass and dirt all over you! Dirty boys.” Jaskier said as he stepped up the final stair. There were five doors. One was grey, Jaskier’s bedroom. One was a clean glossy white, the bathroom. And three were plain white, the boys’ rooms.

“Our rooms ?” Eskel said and peaked around to look at Jaskier’s face. Jaskier smiled and turned to face them when he had his hand on the first doorknob.

“Of course darlings. Everyone deserves some privacy. I have my room, you all have your rooms. Now this is… Geralt’s.” Jaskier said as he opened up the door. The wide eyed fluffy wolf walked into his room in front of his brothers. Geralt gasped. They all stood and gawked. The walls were a calming space blue and the floor was covered in an amazing plush carpet. There was a full sized bed covered in a big duvet that had a moon and stars pattern on it along with matching pillows, (four pillows!) and a plushie that was a cute super soft black rabbit. There was a plain blue heavy duty plastic bin in one corner and cubbies on one wall that held blue and grey bins. And finally there was a TV up on the wall.

“Th-this i-it’s for me? Just me? You did it for me? It’s mine?” Geralt asked and started to tear up. Eskel and Lambert looked at each other. This is what Bear got? What do we get?

Geralt ran over and hugged his daddy. Jaskier smiled and hugged him back tightly.

“Yes darling. Now you can look around while I show your brother’s theirs.” Jaskier said and pulled away from Geralt, who started to look around. At the toys in the bin, the clothes, the balls and yoga mat under the bed. Jaskier pulled the other two toward the other doors and they could hear Geralt squeal.

“Eskel darling this is yours.” Jaskier said as he threw open the door. Lambert looked like he was attached to an electric wire, he looked so excited.

“Oh my gods… daddy did this for me?” Eskel said quietly and walked across the squishy mats on the floor. He looked around with bright eyes and a still tail. He looked at the toy bin and started wagging a smile as it all started to set in. He bounced up and down as he looked at the pretty red pattern on his wall and the big fuzzy bed. He gasped and looked over at the only slightly full bookcase.

Jaskeir took Lambert's hand and walked him to the last room. Lambert was purring and smiling.

“My room! My room! It’s my room isn’t it? Is it my room, daddy? Daddy is it my room?” Lambert said quickly and excitedly. Jaskier nodded and as he opened the door Geralt walked out of his with a chew ring in his mouth and walked to Eskel’s.

Lambert let out a loud long high pitched noise that could be a meow or a whine. He shaked and wagged and smiled and flapped his hands around while looking around. He look in the plush carpet that was almost identical to Geralt’s but was a dark green and the carpet that went up the wall and the pastel wallpaper. He wanted to jump on to the big bed that had so many colorful quilts and pillows on it but he didn’t because he’s dirty. He squealed and laughed when he noticed the scratchy poles in two of the corners and the pile of toys in the other corner. He also gasped when he noticed the TV.

Jaskier smiled and watched the youngest discover for a while. After they had a little bit of time he stepped back and whistled, calling each boy to come out and look at him. He clapped quietly.

“Bathtime Witchers. Shuck off and pile your dirties in this basket.” Jaskier said and stood in front of the bathroom door with one of their dirty laundry baskets.

All three smiled and pulled their clothes that the center sent them home in, plain white shirts and grey scrub like pants. Jaskier couldn’t help ogling a bit. Each of them were splattered with scars. Over their very lovely nice big huge really really perfect muscles. Jaskier looked at the scars, bite marks, cuts, broken bones maybe? There were just so many. He should ask while they were in the bath. As soon as their pants were shucked Jaskier put the basket outside the door and opened it.

“Now, only one at a time but when you get out or before you can sit on the floor. Just sit on a towel, okay babies?” Jaskier said as he grabbed two towels and put them on the floor near the door. There was still a good four feet between the towels and the bath. The boys looked over at the caddies on the sink. And were chattering to each other and smiling and wagging with their ears high above their heads

“Those are your bathroom baskets! We can keep them here or in your rooms or wherever. I keep mine in my room. There’s a comb, a brush, soaps um.. Oh washrags and loofahs and lotions! Baby Bear, yours is the blue one. Wolfie darling yours is brown. And Kitty Dearest yours is green. Why don’t you hold onto those until it’s your turn in the bath.” Jaskier explained and watched the boys examine each item in their basket before holding them close to their chests. They all nodded and Jaskier smiled and just watched them. So beautiful. Works of nature’s true talent.

“Okay who's up first?” Jaskier asked as he blinked and got out of his pet worship. He plopped down onto his knees on the bathmat outside the large corner bath. He turned and flipped closed the drain and started to fill the bath with hot-ish warm water. The boys said they liked hot baths but he didn’t want to burn them. He heard whispering for a moment before Geralt stepped up and squatted down next to him.

“I wanna get a bath first, please. Lammy wants to go last though cause he gets embarrassed.” Geralt whispered. Jaskier nodded and took Geralt’s basket and put it on the floor next to him.

“Alright test the water and if it’s good, hop in!” Jaskier told the white haired babe. Geralt stuck his hand in the water for a moment before frowning a bit.

“Can it be a little bit more hot?” Geralt asked and Jaskier smiled and nodded and flicked the knob over a bit more. Geralt out his hand under the faucet. “Much better! Thank you, daddy.” He said and climbed into the tub. He gasped at first and Jaskier thought he was hurt.

“It feels so good~” Geralt moaned out and flopped over so his whole front was pressed against the bottom of the tub and his knees were bent and his feet kicked up the side. He rolled over so he was belly up. Jaskier laughed at him and he wiggled around and got all soggy. The water slowly filled until it was only about four inches from the lip on the bath. Geralt scrubbed his face and ears with the back of his hands and made his happy high noise.

Jaskier looked back and saw that Eskel was sitting crisscross with his eyes closed and taking deep breaths and Lambert was wrapped up in his towel asleep. The steamy air felt so nice to Jaskier so it probably felt amazing to the babes.

Jaskier grabbed the bottle of body wash and a washcloth but he soon found that the bath water was already kind of discolored. Gods bless the massive hot water heated he splurged on when he bought the house.

“Well my stinky boy, I’m going to let the water out because you’ve already got it dirty. How about we get a nice shwoer and wash away the dirt and then we can fill the tub and I can wash your hair and do all that? Sound better?” Jaskier asked as he let the water drain. Geralt nodded. Jaskier watched him stand up. He had such broad shoulders, such a storytelling back with all those scars… Jaskier was about waist level with Geralt when he noticed something. He hadn’t yet gone through their actual medical records, just their behavior part.

“Geralt, love, are you neutered? Is that a Geralt thing?” Jaskier asked when he noticed that yeah, there was nothing there. There was nothing behind the wolf’s phallus. He glanced back at the other two but he couldn’t see.

Geralt got all red in the face and reached down to cup himself shyly.

“Um.. witchers are sterile but when everyone got scared that we would um… mate...and breed, centers and pounds started to kinda make a fail safe. I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t. I think they did it to all witchers. Since we’re already sterile it didn’t make us sick or fat like other pets.” Geralt explained and hid himself from Jaskier. Jaskier listened intently and nodded.

“Yeah and some people think it’s better to be neutered. For aesthetics so they don’t have to see it when they use you.” Lambert angrily grumbled. He sat up in his towel burrito looking disgusted and mad.

“That’s horrible! I’m so sorry that happened. And I’m so sorry that anyone ever saw you wonderfully brilliant boys as something to be- to be used. I don’t care either way. I care more about making you happy than aesthetics.” Jaskier said. He really hated people sometimes. Geralt stood in the now empty tub, pink from the water and from being asked about his… thing.

“Okay shower time, baby bear. Do you care if I take off my shirt?” Jaskier asked as he stood. He could practically feel two pairs of eyes blazing into his back. Geralt shrugged, “I would like it a lot” he said quietly.

Jaskier could feel the air around his ankles shift with the obvious wagging of the two outside the bath. Jaskier smiled and nodded and pulled his shirt up and over his head and tossed it over to Lambert who immediately took it up to his face.

Jaskier reached and turned the water to go up to the showerhead instead of the faucet. He also flicked open the drain. He took the showerhead off the wall and held it away from the baby until it was nice and hot. Then, he turned and started with Geralt’s feet. He just sprayed him down and Geralt giggled a bit cause it felt so nice! Jaskier then sprayed away the dirt and ick from his calves, then thighs, butt and bits, tummy, chest, back, and then he handed the shower to Geralt.

“I don’t wanna waterboard you, honey tart, do you get your face and hair wet for me.” Jaskier said and Geralt sprayed himself directly in his face and then got his hair all wet and flipped his hair over so he could rinse his neck. Jaskier took a handcloth and wiped some of the splashed droplets off his chest but his chest hair was already semi wet. All the while Jaskier went and checked on Eskel by squatting down and kissing his head and asking what he was doing.

“Meditating. The air reminds me of the hot springs in the Keep. It feels nice on my scar too… it gets dry sometimes.” Eskel admitted. Jaskier gently brought his hands slowly toward the garish mark, slow enough for Eskel to pull away or nip him or tell him no. Finally Jaskier made contact, Eskel looked like he was ready to be smacked. Jaskier touched it lightly and pouted.

“Poor baby. I’ll order you some special balm so it won’t hurt as bad. My precious Wolfie shouldn't hurt.” Jaskier kissed his scar near his mouth and Eskel looked so pretty. His eyes looked softer than dough and they were big and round and his shoulders were relaxed.

“Daddy, ‘m done.” Jaskier heard and turned around to a soaked witcher with hair all in his face. He had his ears drawn down so no water got in. He looked droopy but happy. Jaskier got up and came back to him.

“Oh good job Bear! Now plop down I’ll get your hair all shiny and soft in no time. Are you doing okay?” Jaskier asked and Geralt sat down and flipped the drain shut and smiled up at his daddy. Jaskier smiled and acted like Geralt just solved world hunger.

“Oh good job! You are so smart! So helpful! Thank you baby!” Jaskier bent and kissed his head. Geralt was glowing and he made his little happy noise. That’s when Jaskier realized he didn’t even have a cup to rinse Geralt's hair with. The shower would be much too harsh and Jaskier didn’t wanna accidentally get soap in the baby’s eyes.

“I forgot a cup! Can you all be good boys and stay here? I need to grab a plastic cup from the kitchen. Is that okay? You can close or leave the door open, whatever you boys wanna do.” Jaskier looked around at the boys all looked at each other and nodded.

Jaskier ran down the stairs and got a blue plastic cup that he must’ve gotten from a slushie place or something and ran back up to find all three boys giggling. Jaskier looks at them all. Eskel having rolled over onto his back, Lambert was still burritoed in his towel and had his leg stretched out in front of him, and Geralt was laughing in the almost full tub.

“What’s going on here? Who’s being a silly goose?” Jaskier asked as he put his hands on his hips and looked at each boy with a silly face. Lambert covered his mouth and Geralt just smiled and sunk down so his mouth was underwater. That left Eskel.

“I said you look like a badger cause you got fluff on your tummy and you got fur.” Eskel said teasingly. Like a five year old saying you’re stinky. Jaskier faked extreme insult. He gasped and put his hand on his chest and did a big turn.

“A BADGER? I’m not a badger! Silly boy. And I don’t have fur, I just have alot of chest hair.” Jaskier said and got back to Geralt who was wagging under the water and looking up at him like a hippo. Jaskier turned the water off and tapped the top of Geralt’s head lightly.

“C’mon you little hippo, up with you. Time to wash this beautiful hair. I’ll wash your ears first though so try and stay still.” Jaskier told him and guided Geralt until he was recinling against the tub wall and Jaskier could get to the backs and tops of his ears. He would clean the insides of their ears later or tomorrow.

Jaskier carefully brought the cup, now full of water, up to the pretty grey and white ear. He gently pressed the back of his ear against the surface of the water. Then he grabbed the chamomile shampoo up and gently rubbed it into each ear with his thumbs. By the time he rinsed them Geralt was just jelly. Big beautiful jelly. He was purring and looked half asleep.

Jaskier didn’t say a thing the entire time he massaged conditioner into his ears or when he scrubbed his hair twice and left the conditioner in there for a while. He didn’t say anything when he turned around and Lambert was back to sleep and Eskel was silently meditating.

Jaskier smiled and felt his heart fill with love and the feeling of contentment. He brought the cup up and rinsed out Geralt’s long white locks, which were much whiter now that they were clean. Geralt barely stirred when Jaskier brought a soapy wash rag up to wash his arms and back or when Jaskier stretched over him to turn him so he was long ways. He watched with droopy eyes as Jaskir washed him but by the time Jask was done he was already out cold again.

“Baby… Geralt~... Sweetheart~... Baby Bear you need to get out so Wolfie can get in. You can have a nice fluffy towel.” Jaskier whispered into Geralt's ear. The puppy just opened his eyes and stuck out his bottom lip. Jaskier didn’t budge though so Geralt sighed and stood up out of the lovely water. Jaskier brought him a towel and started to pat him dry. Jaskier put the now wet towel on the towel rack and brought Geralt a nice dry towel and let him go lay next to Lambert and doze off. Jaskier lightly touched Eskel’s hand and whispered to him.

“Eskel honey, Bathtime darling. We can rinse in Geralt’s water and ten get you your own clean water. Come on my brilliant beautiful wolf. You can nap after.” Eskel opened his eyes and nodded. He held Jaskier’s hand and slowly got down into the tub. Jaskier grabbed Eskel’s caddy and slid Geralt’s near the towel rack for later. Jaskier got a rag and wet it in the water and rubbed at Eskel’s arms and legs and tummy and bits and back and neck. Eskel was only about half away as he realized all the water was drained and he went to stand but Jaskier settled him back down but scooted him forward so he was sitting in the middle of the tub.

Jaskier turned on the shower and gently sprayed Eskel, avoiding his face and head. And then flicked the water back to the faucet. Jaskier was petting down Eskel's back when the babe spoke up to him.

“Daddy, can I give you a hug? Like um uh skin to skin?” Eskel said timidly. He was really letting his walls crumble and be swept away. Jaskier smiled and pulled Eskel back to the wall of the tub by his hips. Jaskier reached over and pressed his back to Eskel’s and wrapped his arms around Eskel’s neck. Eskel relaxed and melted into the warmth of someone who loves him and the warm water that was cradling around him.

“Of course, love. You can have as much skin to skin affections as you want. Did it make you feel better pup?” Jaskier said into the fluffy backside of Eskel’s left ear. Eskel nodded.

“Let me get you all cleaned up and washed. I got you lavender soap so you can smell as pretty as you look. You can rest now, let daddy take care of everything.” Jaskier rubbed up and down Eskel’s scarred biceps and then leaned back. He repeated the same ear, ahir, body as he did on Geralt. He had to wake up Eskel when he was done and the eldest babe got up, got dried off, and went and woke up his baby brother.

Lambert kept a tight grip on his towel even once he was near Jaskier. Lambert was red as a tomato but let his covering fall. Jaskier smiled and put on his least judgmental face as he let Lambert sit down in the bath.

Jaskeir kind of understood why Lambert was so… embarrassed. He had a tattoo on his hip that symbolized his sterilization and a bite mark scar on the inside of his thigh. Is this why he was so angry about being used? Was he used at a- a fuck toy? Stay calm Jask. You can be angry when you’re alone.

Lambert stayed alert and awake but did relax a bit once he was in fresh warm water. Lambert’s hair needed a little extra love but three washes and it was quite fluffy. Lambert looked softer now. Smaller, more innocent, younger. A baby like he really was.

Lambert got out and wrapped himself in a nice fluffy towel

Time to wake up the other two, get some clothes on, and go get cuddles- Uh watch a movie.

<- Last Chapter Next Chapter ->

#egg_company #the witcher #geralt of rivia #geralt #jaskier #witcher lambert #witcher eskel #yennefer of vengerberg #fanfic

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fandom-junk-drawer · 1 year

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The Witcher Headcanon (Modern AU) - Game Night

Jaskier loves music. It is his career, and he spends the majority of his days listening to it, creating it, and sharing it. It's an important part of his life that he is very passionate about.

But that doesn't mean he doesn't have other interests or things that he obsesses over. He likes games in particular. He'll sit down with Geralt and the other Witchers and play some video games, a card game, or a few rounds of pool. Sometimes he'll play a board game with Geralt, Yennefer, and Ciri.

But there is one game he gets really excited about playing. He is a huge fan of D&D. He has a custom D&D table, and has made a few diroamas. And he is obsessed with collecting dice. He follows several custom dice makers on tiktok, and is constantly showing the ones that catch his eye to Geralt, but he very rarely buys any.

Everytime he goes on a tour with his band, or goes on the Path with Geralt, he always keeps an eye out for places that might sell dice. He almost always comes back empty-handed.

He could easily buy anything he wanted, being a sucessful bard, and a Viscount, but he rarely buys anything for himself. He prefers to use his money for more sensible things, like taking care of his family, and making sure his band has what it needs. And making sure he is more fashionably dressed than Valdo Marx, because f**k him!

Yennefer doesn't understand Jaskeir's obsession with the dice. The closest she can compare it to is a magpie's obsession with shiny things.

He had been so excited when Eskel had brought him a custom made set of dice that looked like they contained small galaxies. He had hugged the Witcher, then run off, doing this weird little excited goblin run. The dice had been placed in a display box, on a special shelf in his room. He would occassionally bring them out to use for special game nights.

And he doesn't just use the dice for his games. He uses them when he and Geralt can't agree on something, or to make a decision.

Yennefer cannot acurately the describe the feeling of utter dread/panic/suspicion, or Impeding Doom that twisted up her stomach every time Jaskier hands her a die and says "Yen, quick! Roll this for me!"

Yennefer: *reluctantly rolls die*

Jaskier: "20!? Thanks, Yen!" *runs to the kitchen excitedly shouting* "Geralt! Geralt, 20!"

Yennefer *sits there internally panicking* 20 what? What was the number for? Was it 20 kittens? Was it number 20 on a list of options for snacks? Was it a destination? Was it the number of grapes Jaskier was going to try to shove up his a**??? She doesn't know. All she knows is that if Geralt starts laughing, it's going to be something cringey, stupid, dangerous, or possibly all three.

She hears them giggling in the bathroom later, and someone whispering "Stop laughing, you're making them fall out!"

Yennefer bangs on the door. "Jaskier! You better not be shoving grapes up your a**!"

"I'm not!"

*muffled giggling*

Yennefer: You better not be shoving grapes up Geralt's a**!

Geralt: *muffled giggling*

Jaskier: *disappointed whine* "Awww-! D*mn it, Geralt! Now we have to start all over!"

Yennefer decides she doesn't want to know.

She doesn't really have a great deal of interest in D&D itself, but she knows just about everything there is to know about it, thanks to the weekly game nights.

She was excited at first, listening to them talk about their campaigns the following day, but when she actually sat in on a game, she found it...tedious. Their characters,on the other hand, were interesting and creative.

For example, Jaskier's character (a Bard, of course) was just a pair of hands that (at first) communicated in a combination of sign language and rude gestures, played the lute, and made sex jokes.

His character later gained the ablity to speak by making a 'talking' motion with the hands. And proceeded to talk and argue with himself, carry on an almost non-stop Statler and Waldorf running commentary, sing, and make rude/inappropriate gestures. And try to randomly poke his companions in the a**.

His favorite spell was 'Mega B*tch Slap', which he'd made up, they'd argued about, but had ended up allowing it because 'why not?'.

The world itself was interesting, but the actual quests/adventures took forever. This was mostly because they spent the majority of their time rolling to end a parade of arguments. Most of the game was spent rolling to see if one of them would be allowed to do something.

They spent an hour at an Inn, rolling to see who the barmaid liked best.

They rolled to see who the horses liked better.

They rolled to see if Lambert could start the campaign completely hammered.

They rolled to see if one of them could fight a battle bucka** nekkid

They rolled for d*ck length.

They rolled to see if Geralt was allowed to turn himself into a horse.

They rolled for Horse Geralt's d*ck length.

Yennefer discovered that there was barely a serious moment in any of their campaigns. All manner of improbable and impractical things happened. Dead Cow Balloons, Dead Elf Boogie Board, Crab Tornado, Exploding Chickens, Bag of Singing D*cks... and the she couldn't forget the most powerful weapon ever forged. The Jabbing Stick of Instant Death. It was literally just a stick with a pointy end, but one jab and it was all over.

Yennefer did find all the absurdity and unpredictability amusing, but she just didn't have the patience for all the rolling.

Which is why she volunteered to be in charge of cooking for game night. That and she was appalled when she found out what they were eating during their gaming sessions.

Yennefer had walked into the game room with some drinks, "What the h*ll are you eating?"

"Grilled Cheese Sandwiches and Tomato Soup?" Jaskier had said, casually stirring his soup.

"That's not-! Those are cheese puffs floating in, in tomato sauce!"

"I put some of that chicken powder stuff in it,"

"That's not tomato soup! Or grilled cheese!"

"But it's like tomato soup and grilled cheese." Jaskier replied.

Yennefer turned at the sound of a plastic water bottle crinkling, and saw Geralt squeeze a mushy white substance into his mouth, then follow it up with a handful of shredded cheese straight from the bag. "Geralt! What the-!"

"Baked potato," Eskel explained, shaking some instant mashed potato flakes into his water bottle, letting Geralt heat the water in it with Igni, then shaking it.

Lambert glared at her, daring her to say anything about the bowl of pizza rolls covered in so much ranch dressing that he was eating them with a spoon.

There was a soft scrape of a plastic spoon against metal. Coen was eating Spaghetii-O's right out of the can.

"You all eat like f***ing stoners!!! I'm going to make you some real food!"

From then on, Yennefer cooked for them on game nights. It was simple fare, mostly things that made her feel like she was feeding a pack of children.

Dinosaur chicken nuggets, macaroni, and cheese, hotdogs, etc. But they never complained about it. In fact, they seemed excited about the food. Especailly one dish that she discovered was their favorite.

Jaskier had walked into the kitchen for some drinks, saw the cans and the hotdogs on the counter, and gone bolting back to the game room, with an excited whoop of, "F**K YEAH, BEANIE WEENIES!!!"

Sometimes, if Jaskier hadn't been too aggravating that week, Yennefer would make tavern food for them, to kind of fit the theme of their game.

Yennefer would leave them to their game and go about her evening, then curl up with her old cat plush, Sammy, and go to sleep. Sometimes she would have to make a trip to the game room to yell at them to be quiet.

And in the morning, she was woken up by The Ritual of The Most Holy Burrito. Every morning following a game night, five grown-a** men would microwave breakfast burritos, hold them over their heads, and dance through the living room while singing every verse of the sacred hymn "Yum Yum Breakfast Burritos".

She started leaving blankets and pillows on the couch after she'd gone in one morning after a game night and found them all sleeping scattered around the room and using various items as blankets.

Lambert was using a week-old pizza box someone had forgot to throw away.

Coen was under the gaming table.

Geralt and Jaskier were using Eskel.

Yennefer had started a collection of Game Night Aftermath photos that she regularly shared with Madeleine when they would go out on their Girls Only Days.

Unless the photo was so extraordinarily humorous or adorable that she would text it to her immediately.

Like the photo of Jaskier using Eskel's a** as a pillow.

Or the picture of Geralt passed out on the game table with his tits out.

And the assorted photos of shirtless Witchers in cuddle piles

Yennefer decides that game nights aren't so bad after all.

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noxspost · 6 months

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true north

“wait Vese—” she was cut off by him yelling running out of his room to the great hall “Letho get you fucking horse ready wake the other up Jaskeir is going after the bone Hydra!”

Yennifer followed with panic in her bones “what are taking about Vesemir?” asked a very annoyed and slightly panicked Viper as the others with him were walking up “there was a paper about the bone hydra back down the mountain when you came up right!?”

“yes?” he stated as he helped up Triss and Aiden looked at Vesemir “well Jaskier is sumac and he is going after it!” he was yelling now as he was trying to the armory which he was stopped by Letho looks him down and held him by his shoulders. “okay thanks for telling me that our friend is safe,” he narrowed his eyes “I need you to breath or you are going to pass out!” he was louder as Vesemir was making panicked sounds as the others came down. Ciri looked the most sleepy and in Geralt’s arms. Yen looked at Lambert who was mad but scared

“okay Vesemir sumac will be fine he has faced that beast a lot and I am sure he will get the ambrosia and nectar medicine cubes and vials,” he had Vesemir on the ground kneeing and Letho was going to the same “he is a tough bitch who has more beast hunting experience than us since he dealt with more than us. Breath Vesemir, you are okay and he is safe.” Geralt could smell the fear from his dad and he looked to his brothers who look to him. “yeah-h.” Vesemir gulped and nodded “I am so scared, he could be rusty and could die now.” He was hugged by the viper “listen there is a reason why he is named sumac for it is a poison and he is a demigod who parent is the god of madness.”

Then Coen spoke up “who are you talking about was there a man we didn’t was here?” Lambert looked at his friend with confused and disbelief “really we would know if that was the case.”

“well where is Jaskier and who is this Sumac?” asked Ciri and yen nodded Aiden spoke “oh he is a lynx Witcher.” Triss and Yen glazed at the cat and then Letho hums in agreement and then Eskel asked “is Jaskeir sumac the same sumac who taught us?” this makes Geralt and Lambert turned to their brother and then Geralt nods “yeah it can’t be Jaskeir is only 43? How can he be Sumac?”

This makes Vesemir laugh and then starting to cry “Geralt he cares for his skin and also he is older than me.”

He was held closer to the viper and then Yen asked “so we are just ignore the fact that he is a Bacchus child or Bacchus and he is going after a monster in winter and the pass was closed how did he get down there?”

Vesemir got up and walked up to the wall and felt for something on the wall and then his hand stopped and he pressed the stone now and it moved to the left showing a hole big for a good sized box “oh simple Lynx witchers go to hunt for coin more in winter since it is needed and pays more and they are built for the cold so the pass means nothing for Jaskier.” He grabbed the box and blew off the dust on the box and opened it once he put it on the table and they all gathered around the table and they saw the box and it held so much.

Yet they were drawn to the small trinket in the mess and it was made with care and it was a flat disc with a clear dome over the small thin sticks pointing to numbers the short and wider one was slower and the other was faster and thinner. There was a ticking sound as they saw gears and metal moving in a window inside the glass clear dome it was made of copper, gold and white stone.

It looked so pretty and care for. “what is that?” asked Triss who was trying to hold the object when Vesemir grabbed it before her and bark “don’t touch that! It is a gift from Jaskier he got this from one of the tinkering in his caravan of demigods and non-humans. He said it was a pocket watch to tell time.”

He gently held it up with both his hands and then Eskel looked at the back and saw the Engravings on the back and it said time just eats and eats till death comes saving the soul from its maw time does not heal wounds merely numb you to the pain but confrontation and self-growth heals the bones not time.

Ciri saw the engravings and asked “what’s with the engravings on the back?”

Vesemir turned the thing round and went “I think one of the elders of his school had explained that people off the news the same time heals all wounds as a weak cop out and they’d explained that it merely numbs you to the wrongs and the hurt and the pain which makes sense he was also a child of Hecate a goddess of witchcraft and ghosts he’s a real cool dude from what I remember about him.”

Eskel nodded and then Lambert spoke “let’s go find Jaskier!” he yelled and then Letho looked at him and bark “no just no the pass is too covered and it cold in the morning. Let’s eat and gets some chores done and then we can go.” he got up and went to the kitchen with Aiden and Coen following.

Geralt sighed and spoke “well I think Jaskeir will be fine, he will get back. He has too much self-preservation for his own good.”

this caused Vesemir to burst out laughing which also caused yen to burst out laughing “no he doesn’t and he getting more coin and he will come back later.” the former teacher spoke “he doesn’t he got torture by firefucker. He doesn’t have much.”

Ciri nodded and then she looked at the boxes’ contents and you saw a piece of something shining she reached out for it grabbed it held it above her to see it in the light and it sparkled like a diamond but it was in the shape of a scale she turned over to look at the others and asked “what’s this?”

Vesemir looked over sighed and said “that’s a hydra scale a hydra scale is actually a diamond compressed and a lot stronger than normal diamonds about roughly same as iron. you get that from bone hydras.” He explained.

yen then remarked “so that explains why you get to keep a dime in death do you kill such a monster after you’re given somewhere between 4000 coin and 15,000 coin.” This makes Lambert looked at Yen “why must it so costly?”

“because the bone hydra is more dangerous than a dragon since it is undead and has four heads next to the normal standard head each one has its own attacks and features I have seen some bear witchers dying to the Magma Spittle. When you weaken it enough the first head which you attacked two other type of the heads will go on the attack same when one third is left.” There was fear in Eskel’s voice who was looking at his brother.

“oh great…”

===

Well after Jaskier had killed the monster he was breathing heavy and his clothing had blood and gold staining. The gold made him looked gaudy and creepy, he was holding the now the bag of bones and diamonds of the monster. He was in the cave where the beast had taken the father.

There was some blood and he looked down at the freaking out man who was shaking and Jaskier smiles “hey I am sumac I was send by your daughter and I am no threat.” He knees down to seem safe and the man spoke “I am john and thanks.” He was careful to hold Jaskier’s hand and then they walked out to daffodil. “don’t worry I will be fine sir I just worried for you.” Jaskeir spoke when saw the worry in John’s eyes.

Jaskeir smiled at him who was helping him carry the proof and when they got to daffodil Jaskier was quick to the medic supplies and he gave himself his ambrosia meds and then turned to John and went “okay so I am going to clean the wounds and put cool water on the burns on your arms.” He washed the burns in cool running water and then used the rest to the clean off the blood and then wrapped up the wounds “thank you Sumac.” He nodded and placed john on daffodil who snorted and Jaskier looked at him “play nice daffodil.”

Once he was healed by the ambrosia meds he got on the ram and then they were off to the town and back to his family. there was much Excitement and the little girl gladly was rewarding him with compliments and words.

===

After about 6 hours of worrying since the pass was too frozen they were in the training yard near the stables when the witchers smell this faint scent of grapes and the sound of a match being lit they turned to where the sound came from and they for moment thought it was just Yen and Triss doing something.

It wasn’t but only Jaskeir dressed in warm clothing on a ram the size of his horse and Jaskier covered in gold and blood with some being from his own body.

His face was bruised and had some blood on his face near his mouth and nose.

There was purple fire behind Jaskier which swiftly was gone. He was on a ram which was grey and white and had a saddle was made of dark leather and near the back was the saddle bags which stored a lot of Jaskeir things. It also was on top of a lynx skin and the head near to the tail and there was a holding for his axe and the other side was a piece of leather made for holding some scrolls, arrows and a crossbow.

there was also some new things like some daggers, an ice spike and some feathers and a stone.

“oh okay I haven’t done that in years.” he cough a bit and wiped away some spit he was holding the reins to his companion. He looked like a Witcher. Yennifer was right there as Jaskier got off the animal “what the fuck don’t you know that was dumb we couldn’t do shit.”

He looked at her and laughed “you could do shit yen.” The sound of coin came from his bag which was on his animal which he undid and smiled as Yen was spitting out words which made no sense as Geralt spoke “why Jaskier just why you could have died!”

Eskel had stopped training with Ciri who was cheering with Jaskier’s return as the ram belting out a cry of distress which made the other stop thanks to Letho call out “leave the poor demigod alone he just got back.” He was soon in the arms of Jaskeir in a hug which lifted him off the ground.

“Hello again dears.” Jaskeir said as daffodil was walking to Letho and Vesemir waiting near the doors. “You still are very strong Sumac. I missed these hugs.” He hugged back and lifted Jaskeir off the ground.

Vesemir went to check Jaskeir when he was let go “I hope you had Nectar and Ambrosia meds right? And did you get the money you are going to get?” Lambert and Coen looked at Jaskier’s outfit which was like a bear’s but also a wolf.

“Yes, Vesemir I did I got about half of it and then the big diamond and the rest when I got back.” He turned to Lambert and Coen who swiftly asked “so you do contacts in winter?”

“Yeah, it is fun and reminds me of home.” Then Eskel asked, “what was fire and you getting back?” he got a confused looked from Ciri who nodded with Eskel’s statement and Yen nodded too and asked, “yeah why?”

“oh right I forgot to tell Geralt and Yen. I am a demigod to the god Bacchus.” He smiles “which one of the powers I have is teleporting in a burst of purple fire and it followed by a faint scent of grapes. It drains me more than the other powers, so I have to be careful.”

“Okay all the powers drain you?” asked Eskel and then Jaskier smiles "yeah so i don't try to use too much. please be careful around Daffodil he isn't used to teleportation because we haven't done it in a while." he said as they were going to the stables to untacked the ram and put him back in the stables.

"I thought your horse's name was Pegasus?" spoke Aiden Jaskeir turn to him "of course it does that's his middle name it's also his code name anyway what's for food?" as they get back to the doors they see Letho just glaring at Jaskier "fucker." Letho spoke to Jaskier before getting a kiss on the back of the hand from Jaskier "i know, we will have money for spring and there is a reason why i go out during winter."

Geralt sighed and Eskel smiles and making a aww sound which get Coen to Jab him in the side with his elbow. which get Lambert to laugh. "oh please. calm down you two." spoke Vesemir as Triss then spoke "well i was thinking some stew and some rolls."

this makes Jaskeir smile She told smile as warm as the sun and he goes "I remember that was a common staple on the caravan travels really spoke one of the other witchers yeah we called it monsters too because we often used the meat and organs from some types of creatures in our stew combining with shrimp and cow or pig the rolls often had a meat or vegetable inside and cooked hard on the outside but be very chewy and doughy on the inside so we called them turtle rolls because they were often shaped like a turtle as well."

he explained as they went inside then Aiden asked, "so we know somewhat about the schools on this side of the continent what are some notable trials for your school?" everyone looked at the cat Witcher confused and a little bit scared.

they all sighed when their friend explained "well there is the trial of the iceberg the trial of the night escape and the trial of Half Moon half Moon was testing your abilities with everything to do with an apothecary," he explained they walked to the Great Hall they were intently listening "the trial of the night escape was how to survive in... it's been a while since I've had that trial but most the time it was going on a quest for a powerful being and how to escape most of time we did at night the trial of the iceberg was a lot like the trial of the grass is for you guys but ours is much worse or equally as worse depending how you see it that's all I'm going to say."

he was sitting down as he was carrying the bag with the Reward but also a couple other things most of the time the items that he was putting on the table were from his own pouches and bags around his waist and hips thanks to his belts he looked tired in a way they saw a couple other scars specifically one that was peeking out on his neck. It looked like an ice burn.

They see his cloak which around the collar area where the wolf fur was had animal and human skulls on it but the rest of the cloak was made of bear hide the outside had the bear fur and the inside was while the inside of the bear fur it looked terrifying when Yennifer had asked what's with the human skulls?"

Eskel nodded and then Jaskier turned his head and spoke "simple they're from mages who tried to kill me don't worry I didn't kill them too brutally only after they died I cut off their heads ripped off their skin, hair and eyeballs only having their skulls remaining fix the skulls so they don't leak everywhere," they all were Shocked and uncomfortable looking at him as if he was dangerous except for Vesemir and Letho. "I buried their hearts as a sign of respect have acknowledging the life that I have taken I do that with beasts that I kill. i am not completely heartless."

Coen then asked "why burying the heart? it sounds like you leave the rest of the body out for the wild to take."

the Witcher reaches down to his water skin drinks it and thinks for a moment obviously still sitting down but everyone waited with faded breath Geralt specifically same with his surprise child Ciri who was watching patiently "well in my school specifically," Jaskier states his tone now turning serious "we learn that no matter what you do for coin may that be assassinating Or doing anything that involves taking a life you're supposed to bury their heart in the ground decent way down you're supposed to wait 10 minute is the common number, then you walk on it symbolizes you understanding the life you have taken we did that with everyone May they be really terrible May they be not but with a really terrible people and the people we just don't like we're very passive aggressive about it well we do the bare minimum by digging a shallow grave and lightly covering up with our heart and then when you leave the elements and the animals to deal with it."

he smiles "our teachers and elders were very strict about it and Chiron would take a bottle of white gull a cloth and the lights the cloth which is half way in the bottle and throw it on the ground near us when training when We're disrespecting the dead because in In the Lynx School there was an abundance of non-humans demigods specifically who had ties to all the different underworlds not just the Slavic or Greek underworlds and we don't like accidentally piss off the wrong underworld deity."

he chuckles "i never got it but Leo taught me the alcohol bomb after he got the treatment as well." then Aiden sits down next to him as Triss and Yen were off to make food. Ciri asked Jaskeir "what is the trial of the Iceberg?"

Geralt and then Eskel went "yeah what is it? it sounds intriguing." Jaskeir rubbed his chin a little bit and rubbed his mouth from the excess water that he drank and he said It is a trial that involves you being on an iceberg at 10:30 35 ish at night during winter you brought a thick bed mat a thick blanket a slow flower lantern which does not burn like normal fire you're supposed to survive till 2:00 AM in the morning and then they come to you with a nice pike a very thick and long rope two nails that are twice as long as the ice Pike and a hammer and you're supposed to climb up to halfway up the iceberg," he saw the disbelieving looks from Lambert before he went on to explain how tall the icebergs usually were "and by the way these things are way taller than you think so the above ground is tall and just seems to get halfway up there and you're supposed to do that before sunrise usually people if they survive the crime get up there around 4:00 AM and they're supposed to climb it down without breaking their chunks on the way down and they're supposed to do that before 6:00 AM we only lose like 6 students every two years to that trial before the school went under heavy revision we lost more."

And they all knew how I got cold how cold it got during the night it was terrifying they were all stunned then Vesemir walked over holding Jaskier's pocket watch "thanks i thought i told you that was your now?" Vesemir smiles and then put it around his neck "thanks also i would check on Letho he is speaking in that one tongue of elder what is it called?" they all listen to the sound of someone speaking in another tongue it was really yelling but quieter.

"oh my goodness he is speaking and oh my goodness he is speaking in Spanish again oh no. yeah i am on it." Jaskier takes off his cloak and then his boots and walks back into the kitchen where Triss is talking "yeah i don't know what he is saying help Yen."

"well i don’t--" she was quiet when Jaskeir was yelling in the same language "¿¡Te callarás por el amor de los dioses!? ¿Por qué estás gritando?" this makes Letho glare and then place down the dish and points to it "Jodieron el guiso poniendo primero la carne del conejo y sin esperar a que hirviera el agua y el aceite así me enseñaste." he had stopped yelling.

Jaskeir spoke "yeah but it is still going to work Even though the vegetables and the seasonings supposed to go in first but let them do it and stop yelling."

and then he walked straight back out and Letho turned to both women and apologized obviously explaining that he had been taught how to make this specific stew a couple other times and usually the vegetables and seasoning oil and water goes in first then the meat. they nodded and understanding. Letho was following Jaskeir when Letho picked up Jaskeir and So my you've gotten heavier."

he turned Jaskeir's body to face him Jaskier looked down at him slightly and said of course I have I've been eating healthier and more gotta make sure that I stay Insulated he joked as he leaned closer to nuzzled his nose with his own which got Letho to kiss him on the nose a couple times "I missed you." he said sweetly.

Jaskier smiles. as he heard Ciri asking Vesemir about how he knew Jaskier and why his Witcher name was Sumac "do you want to sing True north?" asked Vesemir when they both got back.

"sure." he smiles as he got his Lute and then Letho sat down next to the cloak and then resting his bones. as Jaskier was singing and Eskel was happy to hear this for he had only heard his father Vesemir singing the tone.

"They say it's a cold place Icy and grey With a wind that cuts through Marrow and bone I've heard the earth cracks open wide Before your eyes and might." he sang as he was Strumming along on his loot as lethal provided the drums by tapping his foot to the rhythm.

"Swallow you whole They say you can get lost for days In landscapes of big emotions In the endless night when the sun doesn't care To crawl out of bed behind the oceans." he sang low and soft but they were Intrigued to listen all their eyes including the two mages that were making dinner we're all listening and had their eyes on him as he was enjoying preforming for his family in the winter.

"We never learned to use a compass We never learned to read these maps We always yearned for far-off kingdoms We never found a straight way back And it's a miracle A miracle." his voice was higher now as His magic which was showing small coffee cup size spectacles of what he was talking about, and they were seeing on how they travel not relying on compasses maps or anything like that but pure instinct in far off kingdoms.

"We found true north True north." he sang with Letho as they saw the moose and siren hunts same with the trials of flesh and bone. they saw the demigod wars mixing with Elven wars. they were seeing the caravan which would put the cat school to shame.

"They say it's an old place With ancient tales Of violence and war Passion and soul But I've seen the West Bleed into the East." they saw the monster hunts and then the bone hydra hunts and such they were amazed as they saw the Place called Coldora which was filled with wars, blood and death yet life hidden in snow and winds.

"Like a slow breeze Blowing ripples of hope And I know I could get lost for life Inside these stories I've heard 'Cause it all just shows that what we know Is just the tip, the tip, the tip of the iceberg." then they see the trial of the iceberg. he was smiling as they see eyes around his head which looked around and Ciri was laughing as they saw the witchers were chasing around each other’s.

"We never learned to use a compass We never learned to read these maps We always yearned for far-off countries We never found a straight way back And it's a miracle A miracle We found true north True north." then he smiles as he ends his singing and then Aiden asked "so how bad is being a lynx?"

Jaskeir sits and then drinks some more from his water skin and then he laughed "a lot more than you think for demigods leave a scent behind demigods often leave a strong scent for monsters and beasts and creatures to find them oh woo," he chuckles as he drinks more "also the ones that don't have the sin but still are demigods their souls are tracked by their monsters relating to their pantheons challenge yourselves lucky at least you ain't constantly being hunted by creatures and beasts trust me it's much worse than you think."

they nodded and the Yen asked "is it worth it?"

"yeah of course you just have to more vigilant when it comes to where monsters can be commonly found so a lot of demigods have this ability hard wired into their genetics when they're born that makes them vigilant and have easier time fighting so we more prepared for battle but at least all of us can walk on the snow only and only sink two inches to three inches into the snow which is very useful."

"really any stories?" asked Vesemir and Jaskier laughs "yeah there is this game called capture the flag where all the demigods who share the same godly parent or immortal parent team up with others and then they go up Popular team which is made up of different groups of demagogues that share the same godly or immortal parents like we had Demeter Kids Apollo kids Ares kids and one team and then we got Leshy kids hades and Poseidon kids on a other team and then we fight to take the other team's flag.

But what are my favorite stories is about the one time Perseus the second and I got in a fight he couldn't leave the infirmary for weeks because I actually caused him to go mad because he was saying some really nasty things about me and my family and they can fund the fact that my godly parent was a washed up god his quote not mine I got really mad I punched him in the face and then I caused him to go mad okay unconscious with nightmares for about a week because we had to go get Poux from camp aka the other school building we have."

He was laughing "but there's also another time where Zeus Jupiter and Hera Juno all got cursed out by Letho we were in one of the camps and Vesemir was hiding in the corner panicked behind me as Zeus phase got more and more twisted as if he sucked three-week-old lemons it was so funny we finally got a slight cut to the head as the four gods went away after being humiliated."

Letho was laughing and then spoke "right there was the one time All three of us got in a town fight and Vesemir looked like he just walked out of a war demigod kids blood fight fest. there was so much blood everywhere and you were laughing like a maniac." the others were stun as they were about to eat when they heard these stories and Yen was trying to cover Ciri's ears.

and then Vesemir spoke "ohh my goodness I missed I missed those days well we didn't have to worry about leading our respective schools we could just be absolutely chaotic but we did have to hide it occasionally because of the other masters of the schools holy crap they never liked you they absolutely hated you."

he slapped his knee as they were laughing Vesemir accepted some food from one of the mages and said "of course I couldn't have my gremlin ears I had to be mature and I had to be Mature before i could raise those four." then Jaskeir laughed and then spoke "remember when i was on a quest for Celtic goddess and it landed me here and then I crashed through the ceiling that was a very confusing time because me and Letho were running after a chicken that just was been mutated really badly and it had the item we wanted but we had to go get it for like a deity who had another item we needed for the Celtic deity we terrified so many young butchers in training ohh I didn't explain to them but no we did not just mutate this chicken to chase it around the place ohh my goodness and some visiting bear witchers we even screaming like young girls and it wasn't even a spider."

the three nodded as the others were quiet and Lambert was just standing there holding his cup of white gold and it plate of food stunned because of what he just heard "wait remember that bathhouse quest oh was so uncomfortable so many nymphs so few missed it would be really useful to just like block that out of my memory why did you have to drag us along on that quest?"

"I told you guys not to follow me interjected Jaskier "but of course you did because you guys are like no you can't go on a super dangerous quest for Poseidon we have to come with you and they got traumatized we had to fight against a yokai it was terrifying so weird ohh the smell of that guy was disgusting." the Geralt turned to the bard and asked "do you get paid for the quests?"

"well Yeah but we didn't get paid for the requests besides having our own lives till like 500 years ago yeah." the Grimace really told the rest what and why that was really sad till: "really why?" asked Coen "because the gods and immortal beings giving us those quests and give us money or payment that actually was worth crap till 500 years ago because of Percy Jackson and sally Jackson who is the grandmaster of the school."

they nodded and then Triss spoke "well i am glad you guys are getting paid." she got smiles from Jaskier who went to the food and ate. he swore he saw a Wolf Witcher smiling waving in the window and Jaskier nodded to the window. the smell of family was thick and welcomed.

#my fanfiction #the witcher netflix #jaskier #letho of gulet #my au #angst

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