#jesse valo

[valos-venus-doom]

Drawn & Quartered [Chapter 4]

February 10th 2007

Ville sat looking at the alluring brunette in front of him, her eyes sparkled in the light of the candles between them. He was on his first "first date" in eons.

Her name was Caitlyn. A stunning 25 year old Starbucks barista Ville had met when a new location popped up in his neighborhood. He began going first thing in the morning, every morning (because sobriety meant he was up before the birds most days) because the gorgeous girl behind the counter charmed him and made him laugh. And genuinely laugh. Not the polite laughter you do when a stranger makes a bad joke. He learned her schedule and was there every single day she worked until he worked up the courage to ask her out.

To Ville's surprise, he wasn't nervous. Not at all, in fact, it felt like being out to dinner with a longtime friend. He was completely at ease and comfortable around her, which was a big deal for him.

She had big hazel eyes, full lips, and a body he couldn't stop thinking about getting on top of. But more than that, she was extremely smart and captivated him. Caitlyn was going to school for business management and he loved listening to her talk about it. She was unlike any woman he had ever dated and he told anyone who'd listen that she was the one.

And when she laughed? It made Ville's stomach flutter. She had the best laugh he'd ever heard.

"And long story short, this is why taking Philosophy is terrible and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone." Caitlyn concluded her tirade on why Philosophy 101 was the worst class she had ever taken. She had saved it for last and it wad the last credit she needed to graduate.

"When do you graduate again?" Ville asked, sipping his water.

"May." Caitlyn said with a smile before sipping her white wine.

"Nearly there." Ville smiled.

"Yes and oh my God I am so ready to be done. As soon as that Master's degree is in my hands, I'm quitting Starbucks with two middle fingers up in the air."

Ville laughed, "But then where am I going to get coffee from every morning?"

"I said I was quitting, not burning down the joint." She teased.

"But your coffee is better than anyone elses."

"You get your coffee black. Anyone can do that." She rolled her eyes playfully.

"Mm, not sure that's true. You must do something special to it." Ville smirked.

"How about making it at home?" Caitlyn stuck her tongue out at him.

"You gonna come over every morning and make it for me?" Ville stared her down suggestively.

"Maybe..." Caitlyn eyed him seductively over the rim of her wine glass.

An hour later, Ville had Caitlyn on her back on his couch. They couldn't hold back long enough to make it upstairs to his bed.

"Oh god, Cait, fuck yes." Ville groaned before attacking her lips again, moaning into the kiss passionately.

Caitlyn pushed him off her til he was seated on the couch, she straddled his hips and held his shoulders as she rode him, nails slightly digging into his flesh. Her dress was pulled down to reveal her tits that Ville attacked lustfully, bringing Caitlyn to orgasm.

"God yes, I love your dick." Caitlyn groaned through gritted teeth, her body a vice around his cock as she came.

Ville realized she was dirty talker and he fucking loved it. He exploded immediately with an orgasm so intense he couldn't even breathe, let alone make noise. His mouth agape, eyes squeezed shut, hips spasming. Thank God Caitlyn already came because he literally couldn't stop himself.

When he reopened his eyes as the orgasm subsided, Caitlyn was gazing at him with a small smirk. Ville was convinced she was a goddess. She had to have been, she was not of this realm. It was in that moment he was sure of two things:

1. He was madly in love.

2. Caitlyn was The One.

Christmas Day, 2011. 10am.

Ville awoke with a start. He stared into the cold grey morning light creeping into his bedroom. It was a dream. About her. Again.

Ville held Caitlyn's pillow tightly in his arms, inhaling its scent; Redken shampoo, Victoria Secret perfume, and her natural smell. Eau de Caitlyn.

Too numb to cry, the last 2 days since getting home had been a nightmare of his own creation.

He flip-flopped between grief and rage. Both at himself and at Cait.

He had written out so many texts, but never sent them. He didn't know how to say "Fuck you, come home." eloquently.

Suddenly a text came through and his heart jumped. He grabbed his phone so quickly he lost grip and it flew across the floor and he rolled out of bed after it, looking at the text on his knees on the floor, blanket wrapped around his waist.

He knew in his heart it was Caitlyn.

But it wasn't. It was his mother wishing him a Merry Christmas and asking when he and Caitlyn would be over to spend the day with them as per tradition.

Ville felt like he was going to be sick. It was Christmas. He'd forgotten completely. But he was so far from the spirit he may as well have been Ebenezer Scrooge.

"Hey, sorry, I've been up sick all night. I must have caught something from the tour. I'll come by another day. Love you." He texted back to his mother, lying.

"Well if you haven't infected her, send Cait. We love and miss you both. Xx" his mother replied.

That text made it so much worse. He knew his family adored Caitlyn, and she them. They all got along so well. It warmed Ville's heart when he'd see Caitlyn in the kitchen helping his mother. Or playing retro games on their 20 year old Super Nintendo with his brother. Or talking business and current events with his dad over coffee.

She was a perfect fit for the Valo family. She was perfect in general. And she was gone.

Ville didn't answer his mother's text. Instead he climbed back into bed. He gripped Cait's pillow tight, inhaling deeply, before rolling over and going back to sleep. Before he drifted off, he relented, he was going to call Caitlyn. White flag flying, he surrendered. He couldn't take another day with her. But first, sleep.

Ville awoke hours later to his phone ringing and it was dark. 'I slept all day?' He immediately thought to himself before looking at the screen to see who was calling, hoping desperately it was Caitlyn, hoping she was feeling the same sense of longing and wanting to surrender, too.

But it wasn't Caitlyn. It was his brother, Jesse.

"Hello?"

"Hey, dude. I've been knocking. It's fucking cold and snowing its ass off out here. Open the door."

"One sec." And Ville hung up. He pulled on pants before scurrying down to his front door. Jesse never just showed up, so this was odd, Ville thought to himself.

Ville opened the door to see his brother standing on the other side in the snow that began falling at some point. "Hey. What's up?"

Jesse walked into the house taking off his snow covered boots. "Well, I heard from Mom that you were sick. So I was coming to check on my big brother. It is Christmas after all."

"How very sweet of you." Ville replied blankly. He loved his brother, but right now he was in no mood for visitors. It was interrupting his miserable self-loathing.

Jesse stared at Ville straightfaced, "You don't look sick to me. So, wanna tell me what's really going on?"

"Nothing." Ville stared back at his brother who was clearly calling him out in his lie... but there was something else Jesse clearly knew, he could see it in his eyes. And Jesse didnt ask where Caitlyn was, as he usually would have.

"What do you know?" Ville asked quietly, not breaking eye contact. He was dreading having to finally tell someone that he and Caitlyn broke up.

"Well one of two things happened," Jesse began. "Either you and Cait broke up, or she's in the mountains cheating on you right now." Jesse's tone was serious.

"But," Jesse continued, "I doubt she'd be this open about cheating on you publicly on social media. I'm no Sherlock Holmes but it seems like you broke up with her and haven't told anyone. Which would explain why you lied to mom and didn't show up for Christmas."

"Cheating on me?" Ville asked blankly staring at his brother. His face suddenly hot, his ears felt like they were on fire, and his stomach sick. It felt as though there was barbed wire in his windpipe.

"Why the fuck else would this be on her Instagram?" Jesse pulled out his phone and showed him a picture of Caitlyn and Matthias kissing on a ski lift.

Jesse knew Ville had no form of social media, so when he was scrolling through Instagram at his parents' house and came across that picture, he was stunned. And he knew Ville was probably none the wiser.

Jesse scrolled through both Caitlyn and Matthias' accounts finding a lot of pictures together with a group of friends, both tagging each other in all the pictures, with heart emojis galore. Some were innocuous enough, sure. But the kissing picture was a glaring red flag. And so was the picture of Caitlyn in a jacuzzi, breasts barely hidden under the bubbling water, and cuddling Matthias.

Ville stared at the photo, his hands began to shake as rage rose within him like boiling flood water. After a moment of staring he averted his eyes and began to chuckle darkly. "That fucking cunt...." he turned away from Jesse. His arms raised and he interlocked his fingers together behind his head and began pacing. Breathing hard.

"So she is cheating?" Jesse asked, extremely confused. Unable to gauge his brother's crazed reaction.

"Nope! She can do whatever it is Her Highness wants! That fucking bitch..." Ville broke into a fit of crazed laughter. "Oh wow."

"Are you high?" Jesse asked blankly. "Or do you need to be?"

"She moved out." Ville sighed, a delirious smile on his face, a millisecond later, Ville threw his fist through the drywall beside him. "Fuck!" He screamed at nothing in particular.

"She broke up with you?" Jesse asked unphased, he'd seen Ville put his fist threw many a wall. It was a Ville Valo signature move.

"Nope. I broke up with her." Ville shook his head, laughing, pacing

"When?"

"Two weeks ago. Didn't take the cunt long to move on, did it?" He sighed as he moved to sit on his couch. "Fucking slut. Of course she's in the the next one."

"What happened?"

"She and her little dumb cunt friends, as you see pictured on the Facebook-a-gram," he gestured dismissively at the phone still in Jesse's hand, "All went on a ski trip two weeks ago and KNOWING full well I was about to leave on tour. But she didnt care. No, no. Instead she ignored my texts, and refused to come home. And then she DID come home, acting like a cunt, calling me an asshole and bitching that I never let her do anything, so I told her I was done." Ville explained viciously.

"Ville..." Jesse knew that probably wasn't the case. He knew Caitlyn pretty well, that didn't sound like her. And knowing his brother, knew some details were being left out.

"Okay. Maybe I was being a passive aggressive asshole, but she made me feel so fucking unimportant. All I wanted was to spend time with her! Was that too much to fucking ask?!" Ville ranted, kicking over the coffee table in front of him.

"Ville.... you broke up with Caitlyn 2 weeks ago?" Jesse asked, connecting the dots.

"Yeah." Ville replied, sitting back against the couch, his heart beating in his ears.

"On the 11th?" Jesse asked.

"Yeah." Ville responded, more irritated this time. "What the fuck are you getting at? What does that fucking matter?"

Jesse stared at his brother. "Did you realize the 11th was on the 6 month anniversary of her father's death?"

Ville froze.

"You know, the 6 month anniversary ofthe death of her last living parent, and right before her first Christmas without him?"

Ville's stomach turned as Jesse spelled it out like he was a Kindergartener.

Jesse continued, moving closer, speaking downward at his brother who was seated on the couch, "And you made her feel like shit for going on a trip, doing the one activity that she and her father held dear? And then broke up with her? What in the entire *fuck* is wrong with you, man? I'm surprised she didn't break up with you herself."

Ville's expression changed from stunned realization to a scowl. He stood up fast, furious at himself but ready to direct it towards his brother, he got nearly in his face "Jesse, fuck off. You weren't even there! You're really gonna side with her? She's fucking my friend, first of all!"

Ville didn't appreciate the feeling of being being judged, especially when it was dawning on him that he was in the wrong. "And sec-second of all," Ville, ready to defend himself, paused and swallowed hard. But it felt like swallowing a razorblade, "Second of all...." he struggled to continue. "W-when you put it like that..." Ville's voice broke, his lip trembled and he dissolved into tears, face in his hands.

Jesse's expression softened as saw his brother break. He wrapped his arms around his big brother and sat them both down on the couch to better hold and console him.

"I was going to propose." Ville sobbed into his brother's shoulder, snot and tears getting on his jacket but Jesse couldn't have cared less. "Midnight. New Years. On stage. I had it all planned with manager at Tavastia--" he choked. "What am I gonna do?" Ville wept, his voice cracking.

Jesse held his older brother, "Ville. Ville, come on. It's going to be okay. Have you even talked to her since all this happened?"

Ville lifted his head and wiped his face on a t-shirt he'd thrown on the couch days ago. "N-no." Ville answered. "I was so fucking angry... I refused to call her. I wanted her to call me. I didn't think I did anything wrong." Ville sniffed. "At the time." He clarified.

"Okay, well that's step number one. Talk. To. Her." he urged him. "Maybe she feels the same--"

Ville shook his head, interrupting him "No. She is clearly with Matthias right now." He looked tearfully at his brother. "She clearly moved on."

"That isn't necessarily true..." Jesse tried to

"She fucking wasted NO time getting on another man's dick, did she?" Ville's emotional pendulum began to swing back to rage from sorrow. "And with Matthias? My fucking friend? That fucking bastard. What a friend, huh?" Ville stood up, pacing again.

"Before you put another hole in the drywall, remember you were the one who broke up with her." Jesse tried to calmly remind him.

Ignoring Jesse, Ville grabbed his shoes. "I fucking gave that bitch everything. I moved heaven and earth for her, and this is what she does? Do I not mean anything? Did WE not mean anything? And with my friend? How fucking dare she." Ville seethed and raged. "I'm getting a drink. Come with me, or don't, I don't give a fuck."

"Oh I'm coming with you, I'm not letting you out into the world unsupervised in this state." Jesse replied, grabbing his boots too.

#ville valo #vv #ville valo fan fic #ville valo fan fiction #neon noir #him #h.i.m #heartagram #his infernal majesty #love metal #jesse valo

[d1ckfarmdunn]

i ❤️ pinterest

#ryan dunn #jackass #johnny knoxville #bam margera #ville valo #cky crew #cky3 #cky2k #jess margera

[civilizedworm]

love them🥺

#jimmy pop #ville valo #brandon novak #jess margera #missy rothstein

[asskickedbygirl]

would you tell us what you’re working on and when they might be published? sorry if im asking too much here, no pressure <3

also i just want to say, i think you’re a really incredible writer. you’re so good at characterisation and genuinely im so excited to see how you improve with your skill and see your future work. please keep up the amazing writing :)

wow thank you so much!!! sorry i haven't published anything in a while but i promise i haven't given up yet!! i really love writing and am always seeking out how to improve and you saying im good at characterisation has fr made my day!! like i have a very solid character for each guy in my head from the amount of content i consume so im glad someone views them the same as me lmfao

i have a few ideas that i haven't written yet so here are some of them.

jess fic: its a long bsfs to lovers one with a lot of angst and some smut too. should be coming out tomorrow or tuesday!

ville x reader: honestly not too sure of plot yet so feel free to send requests for ideas cos i def wanna write one

haven't got a plan for radio bam ep 5 mainly cos i haven't listened in a good while so i may pick it back up again if i have any more ideas (feel free to send)

i have a lot of requests but im not sure if im feeling any atm... if you have any pls send them on like i won't guarantee that ill write them but if there are any good ones ill definitely write them for you! also if there are any reqs you sent that you really want me to write just send another req and i might write it im just a little swarmed lol. i really love getting reqs and messages so send them on whenever <3

#jackass #cky band #cky crew #cky #jess margera #ville valo

[suenitos]

walter jr would be a sapnap main i think

#nov.txt #he would like the valo content tbh #walter sr would either be dranti golo or drolo probably and skyler would like all three of them equally #jesse.... i think he wouldn't like dt at first but then he would after a while. could flip flop drolo or dranti i cant decide #hank doesn't know what the hell minecraft is and marie would probably be a gnfer #yeah. #feb23

[freckliedan]

hello! i just hit 2k, and i haven't done one of these since i hit 100 followers so: follow forever incoming!

most of the older blogs i'm following have gone inactive, so there's so much love in my heart for everyone who's still here. i AM reccing just a couple inactive blogs that i will be following for life 💛 edit: these are in groups of 4-5 because otherwise? tumblr stops letting @ ing people work

friends i've talked the most with about dnp: aries @freckliephil, roper @phulge, hana @danielbear, ry @dnphobe, & rudy @yonpote

blogs i found before dnp came out: xavier @angryphildm beth @awrfhi jess @cactuslester kristine @danandphilandthedevil

pip @dannierights al @danpilled leo @danslawdegree molly @deathclassic

jas @demonphannie lola @dnpsuck yash @floppy-ding-dong valo @gaymingvideos kate @goldenpinof

katie @heterophobicdaniel dylan @horsegirlhob blonde @leblonde em @lesbiandipandpip di @lesdienne

ott @milflester barry @milfygerard @oldqueenphil nora @pseudophan

ari @thelionandthellama tj @tjlauren av @vampire-email renee @yikesola

blogs i found after dnp came out: jacky @2009phan jenna @ahappyphjl ava @birthdaywolf chicken @chickenfreeblog ru @danisnotonfirewalkwithme

hazel @dapg-otmebytheballs allie @deadandphilgames emma @dnpbeats daye @dvp95 nikki @energeticwarrior

westley @flamingheretic callie @gamora-borealis amelia @lesbaurinkos zee @manchesterau

char @simplydnp emily @slayter-kinney robin @tarotphil chelle @thatsmistertoyou

ada @theyarewrestling p @thursdaygirlmp3 bee @ttlmt vi @wdapteo

love you all! thanks for 2k!

#yes i do have most of your names memorized <3 everyone these days is making it very hard with a + l or e + l names #jam posts #follow forever #if we are mutuals from pre hiatus. high odds i consider you a cousin on the tumblr side #phandom

[thatbiologist]

G’eth Character Name Bank

First Names

Masculine Names

Alfred, Andrew, Arlo, Arthur, Balthazar, Barry, Ben, Benedick, Bernard, Burchard, Cedric, Charibert, Crispin, Cyrill, Daegal, Derek, Digory, Drustan, Duncan, Edmund, Edwin, Elric, Evaine, Frederick, Geffery, George, Godfreed, Gregory, Guy, Harris, Harry, Horsa, Hugh, Humphrey, Iago, Jack, Jeremy, John, Kazamir, Kenric, Lawrence, Leoric, Lorik, Luke, Lynton, Lysander, Madoc, Magnus, Maukolum, Micheal, Miles, Milhouse, Mordred, Mosseus, Ori, Orvyn, Neville, Norbert, Nycolas, Paul, Percival, Randulf, Richard, Robert, Roderick, Stephen, Tennys, Theodoric, Thomas, Tristan, Tybalt, Victor, Vincent, Vortimer, Willcock, Willian, Wymond

Feminine Names

Adelin, Alice, Amelia, Beatrix, Beryl, Bogdana, Branwyne, Brigida, Catalina, Catherine, Claudia, Crystina, Deanna, Desdemona, Elaine, Elinora, Eliza, Enide, Eva, Ferelith, Fiora, Freya, Gertrude, Gregoria, Gueanor, Gwen, Gwendolyn, Hannah, Hegelina, Helen, Helga, Heloise, Henrietta, Igraine, Imogen, Jacquelyn, Jane, Jean, Jenny, Jill, Juliana, Juliet, Katie, Leela, Lettice, Lilibet, Lilith, Lucy, Luthera, Luz, Lyra, Malyna, Margherita, Marion, Meryl, Millie, Miranda, Molle, Morgana, Morgause, Nezetta, Nina, Novella, Olwen, Oriana, Oriolda, Osanna, Pamela, Petra, Philippa, Revna, Rohez, Rosalind, Rose, Sallie, Sarra, Serphina, Sif, Simona, Sophie, Thomasine, Tiffany, Ursula, Viola, Winifred, Yrsa, Ysabella, Yvaine, Zelda, Zillah

Gender-Neutral/Unisex Names

Adrian, Alex, Aiden, Arden, Ariel, Auden, Avery, Bailey, Blaire, Blake, Brett, Breslin, Caelan, Cadain, Cameron, Charlie, Dagon, Dana, Darby, Darra, Devon, Drew, Dylan, Evan, Felize, Fenix, Fernley, Finley, Glenn, Gavyn, Haskell, Hayden, Hunter, Jace, Jaime, Jesse, Jo, Kai, Kane, Karter, Kieran, Kylin, Landon, Leslie, Mallory, Marin, Meritt, Morgan, Nell, Noel, Oakley, Otzar, Paris, Peregrine, Quant, Quyn, Reagan, Remy, Robin, Rowan, Ryan, Sam, Samar, Sasha, Sloan, Stace, Tatum, Teegan, Terrin, Urbain, Vahn, Valo, Vick, Wallace, Waverly, Whitney, Yardley, Yarden, Zasha

Surnames

Surnames, Patrilineal - First Name (Patrilineal Surname)

Ace, Allaire, Appel, Arrow, Baker, Bamford, Barnard, Beckett, Berryann, Blakewood, Blanning, Bigge, Binns, Bisby, Brewer, Brickenden, Brooker, Browne, Buller, Carey, Carpenter, Carter, Cheeseman, Clarke, Cooper, Ead, Elwood, Emory, Farmer, Fish, Fisher, Fitzroy, Fletcher, Foreman, Foster, Fuller, Galahad, Gerard, Graves, Grover, Harlow, Hawkins, Hayward, Hill, Holley, Holt, Hunter, Jester, Kerr, Kirk, Leigh, MacGuffin, Maddock, Mason, Maynard, Mercer, Miller, Nash, Paige, Payne, Pernelle, Raleigh, Ryder, Scroggs, Seller, Shepard, Shore, Slater, Smith, Tanner, Taylor, Thatcher, Thorn, Tilly, Turner, Underwood, Vaughan, Walter, Webb, Wilde, Wood, Wren, Wyatt, Wynne

Surnames, Townships in G’eth - First Name of (Location)

Abelforth, Argent Keep, Barrow Springs, Barrowmere, Bedford, Brunhelm, Bumble, Casterfalls, Dunbridge, Falmore Forest, Folk’s Bounty, Frostmaid, Fulstad, Heller’s Crossing, Hertfordshire, Humberdale, Inkwater, Little Avery, Marrowton, Mistfall, Mistmire, Morcow, Necropolis-on-Sea, Otherway, Parsendale, Piddlehinton, Port Fairwind, Redcastle, Ransom, Rutherglen, Saint Crois, Tanner’s Folly, Tavern’s Point, Wilmington

Surnames, Geographical Locations in G’eth - First Name of the (Location)

Cove of Calamity, Deep Woods of Falmore, Eastern Isles, Eastern Mountains, Foothills, Frozen Peak, Lakes, Maegor Cobblestones, Northern Mountains, Southern Isle, Tangle, West Coast, Wild Wild Woods, Woods of Angarad

Surnames, Nickname - First Name the (Something) 

Bald, Bastard, Bear, Bearded, Big, Bird, Bold, Brave, Broken, Butcher, Bruiser, Careless, Caring, Charitable, Clever, Clumsy, Cold, Confessor, Coward, Crow, Cyclops, Devious, Devoted, Dog, Dragonheart, Dreamer, Elder, Faithful, Fearless, Fey, Fool, Friend, Generous, Giant, Goldheart, Goldfang, Gouty, Gracious, Great, Hag, Handsome, Hawk, Honest, Huge, Humble, Hungry, Hunter, Innocent, Ironfist, Ironside, Keeper, Kind, Lesser, Liar, Lionheart, Little, Loyal, Magical, Mercenary, Merchant, Messenger, Old, Orphan, Pale, Polite, Poet, Poor, Prodigy, Prophet, Proud, Reliable, Romantic, Rude, Selfish, Sellsword, Scab, Scholar, Shield, Shy, Singer, Sirrah, Slayer, Slug, Small, Stoneheart, Swift, Tadde, Talented, Tart, Tenacious, Timid, Tiny, Tough, Traveller, Trusted, Truthful, Viper, Wizard, Wolf, Wyrm

#oxventure #DnD 5e #character creation #name bank #5e

[xomoosexo]

it’s funny to me because jess is a valo streamer but all she’s been streaming is siege, because of sylvee and now this smp, because of sylvee like sylvee turned her into a mc streamer ❤️

sylvee can cure her

#askies

[valos-venus-doom]

The Foreverlost - Chapter 1

February 2018

“Koskinen, up.” A male’s voice echoed into the cell.

Kaiya’s eyes opened slowly, it was still dark, but within seconds she remembered what today was; release day. Acting quickly as though she’d miss it if she didn’t move quickly enough, she stood up off of her canvas cot, pulled on her musty, gray sweatshirt with her assigned number on the back; 031493, slipped on her tattered rubber slip-on shoes and stood at the door of her cell waiting for the guard to open it. A deafening buzzing noise bounced off the cement walls and her cell door slowly opened.

Kaiya’s heart beat so quickly, she couldn’t believe she was getting out. It had been 5 long miserable years spent inside a Russian prison and she was finally free.

As she stepped out of her cell, two guards followed closely behind, large guns held in their hands. “Is this really necessary?” she thought. As of today she was no longer an inmate, but I guess old habits die hard for these motherfuckers. However, she quickly reminded herself that the Russian corrections department didn’t give a shit about her or laws, to be honest, and knew if she stepped even a toe out of line even on her way out of there, they would throw her back in and no one would even be looking for her, so she stood up straight and listened to every direction barked at her. 

The guards led her to the administration office where a very old woman was behind a desk. “Name?” she barked without ever looking up at Kaiya.

“Kaiya Linnea Koskinen. Inmate number 031493.” She spoke robotically.

The old woman lifted her eyes to meet Kaiya’s eyes, comparing her face to the mugshot on her computer screen. 5 years of being imprisoned in one of the worst correctional facilities that Russia, and arguably the world, had taken a toll on her. She was extremely thin, her dark brown hair cut short. Her eyes sunken in from malnourishment, her skin pale like a sickly Victorian woman from lack of sunlight. However, a guard was nice enough on the last head shaving day to let Kaiya keep her hair, knowing she was going to be released soon. Of course, that “kindness” came with a price, one that Kaiya would rather forget. But the guards and other inmates knew exactly what her slowly growing hair cost…

The woman stood up from her desk and walked through a door behind her, minutes later emerging with a garbage bag. “These are your belongings that were confiscated at the time of your arrest. You may get dressed in the restroom over there,” she pointed to the left, “Then you are free to go.”

Kaiya took the bag from the desk and went into the bathroom, followed by one of the guards who had accompanied her to the administration office. Kaiya looked nervously over at him with a questioning look, “Until you leave, you are still a prisoner.” he muttered, staring her down.

“Well are you going to look away so I can undress?” her tone was emboldened by the looming sense of freedom.

“Do you want me to throw you back into your cell, bitch?” the guard replied harshly.

Kaiya stared him down as she stripped and got dressed into the clothes that were in the bag. A pair of skinny jeans, a pair of black sneakers, a bra, panties (which still smelled used so she opted to throw them away), and a black Metallica t-shirt. When she got to the shirt she stopped, forgetting the guard was watching her like a hawk. Sadness washed over here when she held the garment in her hands, instinctively bringing it to her nose and inhaling deeply. She could swear she could faintly smell him still…

“Hurry the fuck up.” the guard snapped, bringing Kaiya crashing back into reality.

She pulled on the clothes, which were incredibly loose. She had gone into the facility when she was 28, but since being arrested in the Summer of 2012, she had lost a considerable amount of weight. Now at 34, she was shockingly thin. But being held in such harsh conditions for so long would do that. Food was scarce, and at times inedible. Food was used as a punishment, even if you yourself did nothing wrong.

Kaiya finished dressing and ran her hand through the bag to be sure she got everything when her hand passed over cold metal. Joy filled her heart when she realized what it was; a diamond necklace her boyfriend Nikko had given to her that she loved dearly, she was convinced some Russian prison employee had made off with it, but thankfully that was not the case. She carefully moved the necklace into her bra without the guard seeing, knowing he could very well take it from her and she’d have no recourse. As much as she loved the necklace, she needed it to get her where she was going. Kaiya would have to pawn it to not only get herself a train ticket back home, but considering he had gotten arrested in the summer and it was now the dead of winter, she needed warm clothes.

She dreaded getting rid of the last piece she had of Nikko, but if he were still alive, he would tell her to do it and scold her for even considering not doing so.

Kaiya balled up the empty trash bag and threw it in the bin beside her, suddenly remembering she had eyes on her. The guard nodded and led her back out of the bathroom. Kaiya stopped by the old woman at the desk, “Um, just out of curiosity, is there an unclaimed property box? I don’t have a coat and…” she trailed off looking at the snow coming down outside.

The old woman huffed a sigh and grabbed a cardboard box from a closet. “Look in here. See if something will fit.”

The only thing remotely acceptable was a scratchy dark green woolen sweater and a gray knitted beanie, “Better than nothing…” Kaiya muttered. 

She pulled it over her t-shirt and pulled the hat over her choppy, uneven short hair. Kaiya cleared her throat gently, trying to get the attention of the woman once again. “What is it?” she snapped.

“I apologize, but could you please tell me how I could get uh, my boyfriend’s remains? I’d like to take them back home with me.”

The woman stared at her puzzled. “What are you talking about?”

“My boyfriend was a prisoner at the men’s prison up the road, he was killed in a riot. I was told he was cremated.” Kaiya explained, her hands beginning to shake.

The guard behind her began to laugh, the woman furrowed her brow at Kaiya, “We don’t keep the remains of prisoners if family cannot claim them within 30 days. They were most definitely destroyed.”

Numbness overcame Kaiya, “Oh,” her voice just above a whisper. “Thank you.”

And with that, she followed the guard out of the administration office and then out of the building. 

“Nearest town with a train station is down that road, about 16 kilometers southwest. Enjoy the hike.” the guard laughed before slamming the front door behind her. Suddenly Kaiya found herself outside, but not surrounded by barbed wire. She took in a deep breath of freezing winter air, she was free.

THREE DAYS LATER

Kaiya finally arrived in Helsinki. It had taken her a whole day to make it from the prison, to Moscow, then another day to make it to St. Petersburg, and then a final day to make it to Helsinki. The money she had gotten from the necklace was long gone, spent on the train tickets to Helsinki, she had survived on uneaten food from strangers at the train stations, but it was still infinitely better than the food she’d been surviving on the last 5 years. She would hands down prefer cold fries and a half-eaten burger to moldy bread and boiled mystery meat. But she was choosing to focus on the positive, she was home. After nearly 20 years away, she was back in the city she was born and raised. 

It took her a moment to figure out her bearings, but shockingly she was easily navigating herself through the streets. She was looking for a shop she knew all too well, hoping the people she knew still owned it. A few hours later, as the sun was beginning to set behind the Helsinki skyline, a familiar red sign came into view; Aikuisten Lelukauppa

Her stomach was filled with buzzing anxiety, she twisted her hands nervously as she approached the building. In the window, a familiar sign; a woman in red, long black hair, pulling on sexy black boots. “Please still be here, please still be here…” she whispered inaudibly as she pulled open the shop door. A tiny bell rung above her head.

“Welcome, welcome,” a familiar voice called out from the back of the store, “Let me know if you need help with anything.” 

Kaiya’s heart leapt into her throat, her shoulders released with relief and she made her way towards the counter. “Yes, I was actually hoping you were hiring.” she spoke up, her voice shaking despite herself.

The shop owner was a tall, gray-haired man. His face was old, but his eyes were kind and the brightest of blue. They matched hers, though through no familial relation between them. The man wore a black vest over a long, red flannel shirt. He stood looking through a supply catalog and raised his eyes to meet hers.

His eyebrows furrowed as he studied her face, he recognized her. “You look familiar.”

“I do?” she smiled, her eyes filling with tears.

In shock and disbelief, Kari Valo sat the catalog down and came out from around the counter, “Kaiya?” he questioned as he grabbed her and pulled the small framed woman into his arms. “Kaiya, my girl! Could it be?”

Kaiya felt herself melt into her father-figure's arms. “Its me…. It’s me.” she let the tears flow as she clung to him. 

Kari took a step back but kept his arms on her shoulders. At over 6 feet tall, he towered over the just barely 5 foot tall woman before him, “Let me look at you. Are you well? Where have you been? Why didn’t you call?” he let the questions flow with barely any pause between them.

Kaiya wiped her eyes on the scratchy green sweater’s sleeve. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I wanted to call but… but…” she stammered.

“Oh god, forget it, it doesn’t matter. Come here.” he engulfed her in his arms again and kissed the top of her head.

Not a moment later, the bell above the door rang out again. “Dad? Mom said she’s been trying to call you and if you’re late coming home again she’ll have your balls mounted on the wa–” the man walked in looking at his phone but looked up and stopped mid-sentence when he saw his father holding a petite woman in his arms.

Kaiya turned around to face him and the man’s face dropped, “What– Kaiya?” the man whispered, his eyes wide with bewilderment, his arms lowered, nearly dropping his phone and he stepped towards the pair. Kaiya held out her arms and allowed this second man to scoop her up effortlessly and lift her high above the ground in a bear hug.

“Jesse…” she sobbed into his coat.

#vv #ville valo #h.i.m #him #heartagram #the foreverlost #ville valo fanfiction #ville valo fanfic #ville valo fan fic #ville valo fan fiction #helsinki #jesse valo #valo

[welcometojackass2022]

Taking Commissions—Personalized and Kink/Fetish Fics for $10-$15

Figured I’d go ahead and make this official! I’m currently taking commissions. For $10 I’ll write you a personalized smut fic that will be similar to my x reader fics except instead of the reader, you get to choose the name, personality traits and characteristics of the main character; you can use yourself, an OC, anything you want as specifically detailed as you want. You can also choose to have another canon character or person used instead of yourself or an OC (for example, a Harry Potter x Draco Malfoy fic instead of a Harry Potter x Reader fic). I’m also taking commissions for hardcore kink and fetish fics for $15, which can also be personalized upon request. Continue reading for more details!

Fandoms I Take Commissions For:

Jackass (Johnny Knoxville, Dave England, Danger Ehren, Chris Pontius, Steve-O, Bam Margera, Ryan Dunn, Wee Man, Preston Lacy, Stephanie Hodge, Jeff Tremaine, Spike Jonze, Rachel Wolfson, Poopies, Zach Holmes, Jasper Dolphin, Eric Manaka)

Viva La Bam and CKY (Bam, Ryan, Brandon DiCamillo, Rake Yohn, Raab Himself/Chris Raab), Brandon Novak, Tim Glomb, Lord Bottaro, Joe Frantz, Jess Margera, Chad Ginsburg, Deron Miller, Ryan Gee)

Game of Thrones (too many characters to list, just ask upon request)

Harry Potter (pretty much any character, just ask upon request)

Gotham (most characters, just ask upon request)

Shameless (most characters, just ask upon request)

Jimmy Pop and Evil Jared from Bloodhound Gang

Ville Valo from HIM

Any character from Haggard or Minghags

The Mighty Boosh (Vince, Howard, Naboo)

Peep Show (Mark and Jeremy)

IT Crowd (Moss, Jen, Roy, Douglas, Richmond)

Peaky Blinders (most characters, just ask upon request)

Slipknot (all members)

Pretty much any rock band, including Guns N Roses, Motley Crue, and KISS (check my old account @creativewritingpracticestudio for some of my old rock band fics)

Pretty much any British comedian featured on Would I Lie To You, Taskmaster, Big Fat Quiz, 8 Out of 10 Cats, 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown, and Mock the Week

Dead Poets Society (any of the main guys honestly, I’m not picky)

Inbetweeners (most main characters and Mr. Gilbert)

Umbrella Academy (most main characters, ask upon request)

Types of Personalized Fics I’ll Write ($10 Per Fic, $15 if Hardcore Kinks and Fetishes are involved)

Fluff

Smut (angry smut, fluffy smut, jealous smut, anything really)

Angst

Hurt/Comfort

Song fics

Drabbles or short concepts

M/F, M/M, F/F, anything goes

Types of Hardcore Kinks and Fetishes I’ll Write For ($15 Per Fic)

Hardcore BDSM (bondage, dom/sub dynamics, mild pain play, punishments, use of gags, sex toys, and bondage gear, etc)

Consensual Non-Consent

Somnophilia

Piss kink, piss play, bladder control, etc

DDLG/MDLB and all variations, but no pedophilia.

Blood Kink and/or weapon play

Roleplay

Breeding Kink and Pregnancy Kink

Belly Kink/Weight Gain Kink (this does include feederism and force-feeding)

Cucking, Threesomes, Sharing, Free Use, Cheating Kink, etc

Degradation and Humiliation (and on the opposite end, Praise Kink and Body Worship)

Impact Play and Mild Pain Play

Foot Fetish

Exhibitionism and Voyeurism

Wax Play and Temperature Play

Tentacles (yeah sure, why not)

Inflation (I highly doubt anyone’s gonna request this but it’s there as an option)

Note: Extremely gross fetishes like scat, farting, armpits, etc are a possibility but you’ll have to make a pretty decent offer, definitely more than $15. Pedophilia, Bestiality, and kinks involving explicit torture/mutilation or murder are out, no matter what you offer.

Please note that all requests for these fics need to either be sent to me in DMs or through a non-anonymous ask (the ask won’t be posted, it’ll just tell me who to DM to send the link to the fic or to ask questions about the fic). Once the fic is completed, I’ll ask you to send the $10 or $15 through Venmo, PayPal or CashApp (preferably Venmo but it’s your choice) and I’ll either send you the link to the document the fic is written on or email you the PDF of the fic. You can also choose to have me post the fic on ao3 and just not state who requested said fic. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, I don’t kinkshame or judge and I like to be given as many details as possible to ensure that you get the fic you want.

Also, don’t feel obligated to ask for a commission if you’re one of the people who reads my x reader fics! This is just a way for me to earn some money while I’m in college, I will never demand that any of you ask for a commission. Happy requesting :)

#jackass #viva la bam #cky #harry potter #shameless #gotham #the mighty boosh #peep show #the inbetweeners #british comics #british comedy #fanfiction #fanfic #writing commissions #commissions #taking commisions #commissions open #game of thrones #jimmy pop #bloodhound gang #him band #ville valo #peaky blinders #slipknot #80s rock #hard rock #guns n roses #motley crue #umbrella academy #dead poets society

[disruptxrr]

gotta make a plan to kidnap Scott now :3

you get the white van and i will get the the spray paint. we are gonna drive the van in front of his house (the white van has "WE HAVE VILLE VALO IN THE BACK." written on it löded diper style) one of us is gonna be dressed like jesse pinkman and is gonna throw a brick at his window. "YO KID. YOU WANNA MEET VILI VALLO??? BITCH?" written on the brick. once we get his attention.... he's ours. we get him into the van and drive (i don't care where just drive.... AWAYYYYYYYYYYYY)

#should we bring rope? or... #sid(speakz)!

[barbiegirldream]

I went to see why antony padilla was trending and my page showed only sapnap stans losing it over the possibility of them mentioning dream in his interview video like...sweetheart...most of his content is valo streaming or stuff with dream like he's going to fucking come up

jesse what the hell are you talking about

[asskickedbygirl]

Asskickedbygirl Masterlist

need a place to keep all my fics so it’s easy for people to find (: i’ll write for anyone listed below and maybe more if you want to dm or send me a request for someone that’s totally cool! i won’t write any *weird* kinks or anything so if you request something i’m uncomfortable with i’ll just ignore it.

I write for Jackass/CKY/Viva La bam/Haggard/ HIM etc.

AO3

Join my taglist <3

** - smut • - fluff ! - angst ^ - hurt/comfort

my favs - 🩻 most popular- 🛒

Radio Bam Series 🩻

episode one

episode two

episode three

episode four

Bam Margera

The CKY Groupie **• 🩻 🛒

Please **

The Tattoo ~ part two ** 🩻 🛒

Cam Girl **

Green-Eyed Monster ** 🩻 AO3 🛒

The Other Woman !** AO3

Release **

Brandon DiCamillo

The CKY Groupie **• 🩻 🛒

Everybody knows •

Hotel Room •

Tonight, Tonight •

Jealous? !**

The Blackest Day !**• ~ part two !** 🩻

Moment [Drabble] •

Stupid Fucking Grin [Drabble] !** 🩻

Ryan Dunn

The CKY Groupie **• 🩻 🛒

Long Day •

He’s Not Here • 🩻

Photos of You **

The Other Woman !**•

Tell Me •

Johnny Knoxville

Temporary Girl !** 🩻 🛒

Hot For Knoxville **•

Going Up ** 🩻 🛒

In Charge **

Raab Himself

The CKY Groupie **• 🩻 🛒

Steve-o

For the first time, again **•

The Workplace Flirt **•

Spike Jonze

Secretive **

Jess Margera

Hush Hush **•

Liar !

Ville Valo

coming soon…

Chris Pontius

coming soon…

Stephanie Hodge

coming soon…

#asskickedbygirl #jackass #bam margera #ryan dunn #viva la bam #chris raab #cky #raab himself #brandon dicamillo #cky crew #dico #cky ff #cky fic #jackass fic #smut #bam margera smut #bam margera fic #johnny knoxville #spike jonze #steve o #chris pontius #jackass ff #stephanie hodge #dico fic #ryan dunn fic #masterlist #jackass masterlist #cky masterlist #jackass writer #cky writer

[etoilebinaire]

14 and 15 for Evanna/Merrill, 23 and 24 for Rasha/Bull, 27 and 29 for Jess/Bastila/Juhani? :)

Thank you Sierra 💕 these are so much fun!! It's long so under a cut!

Evanna/Merrill: 14: What little things remind them of each other? What reminds Merrill of Evanna is the warmth, comfort and smell of a fire. Pretty dresses and nice fabrics, even if there’s not much of that in Kirkwall. Another thing that reminds her of Evanna is a little more abstract, but the feeling of when you’re a little tipsy in a bar and everything is getting lively. Some people might be passing out drunk, fighting or starting a fight, but there’s also your friends dancing together and laughing and a kissing couple in the back of the bar. It isn’t all good it isn’t all bad but it’s all people living. That’s Evanna for Merrill. For Evanna, after she met Merrill she suddenly noticed flowers all around that she’s never seen before. It’s because Merrill loves to point out and pick flowers because they’re pretty. Before, Evanna would look over them without a second glance but now they remind her of Merrill. Also, the most cliché stuff ever, but any time Evanna would see an emerald or some other beautiful green-ish gem she’d be reminded of Merrill and her eyes. It’s exactly like in the fanfiction and I think she would tease Varric with eye descriptions all the time as well. 15: What habits or characteristics have they picked up from each other? Evanna is a chronic lip-biter and eventually Merrill starts to mirror that but it’s the opposite of a problem because they’ve made it the perfect excuse to smooch in order to share chapstick <3. Evanna has this stupid joke where any time some kind of creature flies overhead, she stops in her tracks and says “dragon?” even though the chance that an entire dragon randomly flies over Kirkwall is extremely small. However, Evanna is very good in running a joke into the ground when none of her friends think it’s funny anymore. Merrill is smart and already knew a lot of bird species and has now made it her personal goal to be able to identify any flying creature so she can answer Evanna’s rhetorical bad joke. The first time Evanna wasn’t paying attention and missed a bird flying over, Merrill was the one to stop the entire group in their tracks and announce: “Dragon? No, it’s a sparrow”. Cue a lot of groans and ‘not you too’ from their friends and Evanna melting in a puddle because that is the most adorable thing she’s ever heard and Merrill is looking at her with the biggest smile on her face to see if she did the joke correctly.

Rasha/Bull: 23: What was their first impression of each other? Oh you already know. Bad. Their first impressions were actually without ever seeing each other. Bull did his homework and already knew the Herald of Andraste was Vashoth and about the Valo-Kas. I don’t think he was particularly thrilled about a Vashoth being the newest Andrastian prophet but he’ll give them the benefit of the doubt. Rasha had a good first impression of the Chargers with Krem, but also wasn’t thrilled that their leader was “Qunari, like you. Big, got the horns, all of it”. She definitely assumed he was Tal-Vashoth at first. When they actually meet on the storm coast, their second first impressions are mostly discarded in order to do some risk vs. usefulness assessment. Rasha is pretty much what was expected (not Qunari + wearing pieces of like 4 different cultures + not being expressive = a Vashoth mercenary). Bull is a little too knowledgeable about the inquisition but then he just straight up admits to being Ben-Hassrath and gets the Rasha Disapproves -200. Rasha then loses an internal discussion with her instincts in favour of the inquisition needing more people. She’s the embodiment of that tweet ‘(angriest I’ve ever been in my life) ok sounds good’. After threatening some being eaten alive by Cassandra she still hires them.

So then Rasha’s impression is: *kill bill sirens* spy who infiltrated the organization with approval of everyone around him cause humans don’t realize how dangerous Qunari spies are and Rasha has to keep an eye on him because the humans think he’s just friendly and that’s bad. Bull’s impression is.. also cautious since Rasha does seem high strung all the time and the inquisition can’t have their Herald having an emotional breakdown. But I think he also has some sense of respect for how practical her thought process is. 24: How did they fall for eachother? As I mentioned before, they found themselves stuck in an (somewhat one-sided) enemies to (mutual) reluctant colleagues to friends to lovers pipeline. Rasha is just too scared of Qunari spies to realize how compatible she and Bull are at first. Like, she will go along with the bit to convince Cullen that they can both breathe fire but then the bit is over and they’re enemies again. Their keep-a-straight-face-through-puns competitions are Spy Training and not friends joking around. Obviously. Neither of them fall for the other until after Bull gets fired and they start sleeping together. For both of them really, it’s the sheer effort they make to help each other. Rasha is trying very hard to believe and trust Bull on his word (“you’ll always be safe with me” isn’t always an empty promise and Bull has been nothing but reliable and deserves more than immediate instinctive dismissal) and her internal debates are now also broadcast on her face because she’s trying to openly communicate and be honest about her feelings and it’s adorable. After some encouragement from Rasha (“if you’re not honest my mind will make something up and that will be worse”), Bull is also making an effort to air his thoughts. It helps that Rasha is close to as messed up as he is, so neither of them will be scared off with talks about escape routes or how to most efficiently kill as many people in the room as possible. Obviously Bull grounds Rasha and provides the safe place she never thought she would have, which is a big part in how she fell for him, but she also does the same for him. Most people in the inquisition are terrified of the Rasha Death Glare™ and Rasha is very good at getting to high places where nobody is able to reach. Bull would also struggle to climb a steep rooftop but again, the effort is adorable and would earn him a smile and a helping hand. Then they would pretend to not hear any people bothering them. Also, the fact that when Rasa spotted a dragon her first thought was “Bull should be here” and barged into the Heralds rest to get him. Cue the drunken “Kadan” afterwards that they both forgot cause of that damn Maraas-Lok.

Jess/Bastila/Juhani: 27: What interests do they share? For interests they don’t share, do they ever participate anyway? Their general interest in saving the galaxy and being jedi and lightsaber forms etc they all share but that’s boring. Juhani and Jess both really like tea and Bastila is best at making tea so she makes tea for her gfs. Juhani would have trouble being patient enough to let it actually set before trying it, and Jess would boil water and then forget she was making tea in the first place. So, Bastila. They also like exploring places and new planets, and I think they’re all prone to warmer climates so they explore a lot of beaches. Nightly walks either under or among the stars. With some encouragement from Jess, dancing. For interests they don’t share.. They definitely do not share Jess’s swoop racing “hobby”. I would even go as far to say that they argue about it sometimes. Juhani questions the morals of getting all the racing money when Jess is using the force to win (even though she swears she isn’t!) and Bastila thinks it’s unnecessarily dangerous. It’s because Jess thought it was a good idea to ride around with the three of them on a one-person swoop bike one time and everything went well nobody got hurt but Juhani doesn’t believe in mechanical transport anymore and Bastila is never letting Jess drive again if she’s present. Jess always retorts to “but me swoop racing SAVED YOU, Bas!” and Bastila is offended and always responds “I saved myself!” and Juhani is in the middle wondering if her girlfriends are ever not going to be childish about that. In short; I think they do have separate interests that the others rarely participate in, but that’s for the best.   29: Where is their relationship lacking? What could they do to improve it? Hmm.. Their communication could be better. I think they could use a big honest sit-down conversation about how the jedi (including Bastila) treated Revan when she nearly died and last-minute got saved etc. Even if she’d never admit it and she’d think discussing it is useless, Jess definitely has mixed feelings about that. I’m sure Bastila and Juhani do too. While all three love each other equally, Juhani does harbor some envy for the strong force bond Jess and Bastila share. Again, I don’t think they really talk about any of that. Jess often assumes communicating by sensing their emotions through the force is a replacement for verbal communication and it’s really not.

#Evanna Hawke #Rasha Adaar #Jess Ashley #im not starting ship tags for them im not that disciplined #im sorry this took a while but genuinely thank you for asking these!! they were the perfect questions for them fr #i always feel like im not giving evanna and merrill the attention they deserve but when i do think about them... i love them sm #you can def tell that Rasha is spinning in my mind 24/7 currently. but also these two questions are so so good together #i dont care that the drunken kadan might be a bug whatever. its canon now. #i really need to continue my kotor replay i miss my girls #i always forget if bastila/revan is as old-married-couple-bickering as i remember it to be or if i made that up sdjdsj #thank you for the qs sierra!! i dont trust intercontinental shipping with homemade cookies but we can figure something out <3

[heavyaugust-blog]

HIMster Jesse Valo Coinage antivirus #richerbach #hautecouture

21 cm 29 cm Waterproof Black ink whites

#Jesse Oliver #him band #paper ink

[adaestahq]

announcing PRINCE DAIYONG SHORIBA ( dylan wang ) to the annual summit of valos. you have 48 hours to turn in your account and please follow the CHECKLIST.

( dylan wang. he/him. ) announcing - DAIYONG SHORBIA. the TWENTY-FOUR y / o PRINCE hails from the kingdom of SHORIBA. they have been blessed by valos with the element of SPIRIT and given the talent of ECTOS. they have been noted to be PATIENT , OBSERVANT but also rather DISTANT , SELFISH. lets hope they don’t do anything to upset the truce. { jesse. 24. est. he/him. n/a. }

#accepted. #new rp #royal rp #period rp #magic rp #appless rp #oc rp