#keeley she/they roy he/him jamie he/she. final answer

[mitskijamie]

I think if you asked Keeley what her pronouns are she would tell you she/her, but they/them is fine too, and then she'd ask you for yours. If you asked Roy what his pronouns are he would start to say "I'm a man" (not out of malice, he just forgets that that isn't a sufficient answer) but then remember what Keeley taught him and sagely be like "....Him." And give you a firm nod to silently communicate that he's an ally. If you asked Jamie what his pronouns are he would be like "Jay-mee ❤️ but if u can't say it that's okay ❤️" because he doesn't know what pronouns are and thinks you're saying "pronounce"

#oc #jay meh.... #'what are your pronounce' is a sentence that makes complete sense to him #anyway #keeley she/they roy he/him jamie he/she. final answer #she/he jamie is abstract but i have a vision. transgender allegory

[yelena-bellova]

Heartfirst: A Ted Lasso Story - Chapter Six

Chapter Six: The Devil You Don’t

Plot: Y/n considers making a change and Richmond squares off against West Ham United.

Word Count: 4.5k

Warnings: f!reader, language, (16+)

A/N: Missed therapy today, finished this. Silver linings, everybody…lol

—————

Y/n sat at her dining room table, staring at a single piece of mail. It was from her rental company. They were informing her that it was that magical time of year. She could either choose to sign for another year or vacate. It was a decision she’d been putting off making.

Living in downtown London didn’t make much sense now that she worked at Richmond. The commute was longer and God help it if there was traffic. Y/n lacked the social life she’d had in college and she had no partner to stay near.

There was no longer anything tying her there.

Moving to Richmond meant she was fully committing to the club. She’d kept one foot out the door since arriving, knowing that things could go downhill at any moment. But it had been nearly three months and, though challenging, she had no reason to leave or believe she’d be fired. Was it time to stop holding her breath?

She couldn’t make a decision from her apartment. She had to get out.

Grabbing her keys and purse, Y/n left her building and hopped in her car. She made the drive to the last place she’d expected to be on her day off, but the only place she felt like being.

In the heart of Richmond, Y/n parked on the curb, just near the Crown and Anchor. There was a coffee shop around the corner from it that Keeley had recommended to her. It seemed as good a time as ever to try it and take a stroll around the neighborhood.

Something about Richmond that differed from London was the atmosphere. It felt very small-townish, while still being a decent sized borough. The people were kind, greeting each other as they walked past. Men tipped their caps. Children ran free in the park. Couples strolled hand in hand. Y/n had never been a Hallmark movie kind of girl, but it felt like the only comparison to be made. The city seemed to wrap its arms around its people, giving them a safe place to end each day.

Sipping what turned out to be one of the best coffees she’d ever had, Y/n contemplated it all. All practicality aside, and she could barely admit it herself, but she almost, kind of, sort of, possibly, maybe…wanted to live in Richmond.

She made her way towards the park, watching kids burn off their weekend energy and families taking their infants on morning walks. What she hadn’t expected to see was anyone she knew. A few feet away, Jamie was doing sets of burpees while Roy sat and watched. Out of politeness, Y/n had nearly approached when Jamie bent over, letting the contents of his stomach empty.

Roy sensed someone was near and twisted to find Y/n standing behind him. As awful sounds escaped Jamie, his coach smiled, as much as Roy Kent did smile, and nodded, “Morning.”

Y/n watched the scene with reserved concern and wild confusion. “Should I be worried about any of this?”

“No,” Roy answered, taking a bite of his breakfast sandwich in the most unbothered fashion, “He’s fine.”

Jamie’s body finally let him breathe and he glanced up, spotting Y/n. He gave her a quick nod before resuming his workout.

Y/n’s brows stayed creased as she raised her coffee cup to them, toasting the strange moment. “Okay,” she said, leaving them to the rest of their day.

There was a part of her brain that told Y/n it was crazy to move even a mile closer to the insanity that was AFC Richmond. Living further away gave her a barrier, an extra layer of protection. If she came to live there, she’d lose it.

And the other part of her mind decided that, much like with the job, it might be worth putting up with.

—————————

The next day, Y/n stopped by the KJPR office to grab some papers from Keeley. Something about an endorsement deal for one of the boys.

“Oh, I wanted to tell you,” Keeley said before Y/n headed back out, “Our backer’s coming to town and wants to come to the West Ham match.”

“Okay,” Y/n said, “Great.”

“And they want to meet us,” Keeley continued.

“Okay,” Y/n repeated with a shrug.

Keeley paused, waiting for some reaction that Y/n wasn’t giving her. “And I’m sort of freaking the fuck out,” she finished.

“What’s there to be nervous about?” Y/n asked, holding the folder of papers to her chest, “Corporate bigwigs are all the same. They’re barely even interested in meeting the people that make them rich.”

“Yeah, but I’ve never met any,” Keeley gestured to herself, “This is all new and I don’t know what I’m supposed to wear or say or do.”

As much as Y/n knew Keeley and her came from different backgrounds, they’d developed such a solid work relationship that Y/n sometimes forgot she’d never functioned in the corporate world.

“Look,” Y/n said softly, taking a seat across from Keeley, “It’s polite chitchat, making sure they’re having a good time and maybe dodging a few bad attempts at flirting if it’s an older guy.”

Keeley’s pouted lips finally cracked and she chuckled.

“It’s not a big deal,” Y/n reassured, “Really. Just be you and you’ll charm the metaphorical pants off of them.”

Keeley smiled as she reached over the desk and threw her arms around Y/n’s neck. Y/n nearly stumbled in her heels and grabbed onto Keeley for balance.

“Thank you,” Keeley said over Y/n’s shoulder.

A hug certainly crossed all professional boundaries Y/n had set up. But Keeley needed comfort more than Y/n needed to feel protected, so she patted her boss’s back and let it happen.

—————————

The big day had arrived.

Richmond vs. West Ham.

Y/n was up early, even though the match wasn’t till the afternoon. She went for a morning run, got a tea and returned home where there was nothing to do but anxiously fidget till it was time to get ready.

This wasn’t just Greyhounds against Hammers. This was Rebecca against Rupert. Ted, Beard and Roy against Nathan. All of AFC Richmond was being watched. And while Y/n was practically invisible, she was feeling the same pit in her stomach as if the tabloids were speculating about her.

Pulling up to the stadium, Y/n was in awe of its size. It was at least three Nelson Road Stadiums. She headed through the side entrance where VIPs and press came through and spotted Rebecca and Keeley waiting for her.

“Alright,” Y/n announced her presence as she passed through the metal detector, “Here we go.”

Keeley turned to Y/n, “You think I look alright, yeah? Good enough to impress Jack?”

Y/n scanned Keeley’s outfit, it was one of the first times she’d seen her out of her signature shade of pink. “You look great,” she replied.

“Shit, I’m nervous,” Keeley confided in the two women, “I think I need to go and reapply my lip liner.”

Something about the way Rebecca nodded and told Keeley they’d see her in the suite told Y/n there was more to her words.

“Men can have codes for the loo,” Rebecca shrugged, sensing Y/n had picked up on it, “Why can’t we?”

“Oh, that’s brilliant,” Y/n’s head whipped around to follow Keeley.

The two women shared a laugh before turning towards the escalator. Rebecca froze after her first step step and Y/n bumped into her, grabbing onto her boss to barely keep her balance.

“Hey, Rebecca,” Rupert greeted, a gorgeous, young blonde on his arm.

“Rupert,” Rebecca was quick to reply.

Y/n caught herself before she gave her shock away. This was Rupert?

“Wonderful to see you,” the man replied warmly, undertones of ice seeping through.

“Bex,” Rebecca nodded to her replacement, “Love the new hair.”

“I haven’t changed my hair,” Bex replied in confusion.

“Nor should you,” Rebecca saved herself, “It’s perfection. Uh, may I introduce our newest member of AFC Richmond,” she gestured to Y/n, “This is Ms. Y/n Y/l/n.”

Y/n hesitatingly stepped forward, trying to mask her disdain under a smile. “Lovely to meet you,” she shook Bex’s hand first before Rupert’s.

“Lovely to meet you,” Rupert replied, his eyes sliding down Y/n’s figure before coming back up to meet her eyes, “How are you liking Richmond?”

Any negative thoughts Y/n had about the job or her co-workers left her head. No ammunition could be given, nor was she going to let the man who was checking her out while holding his wife’s hand feel validated in anything.

“It’s exceeding all my expectations,” Y/n lied with a grin that could have fooled anyone.

“Ah,” Rupert smiled back, watching his ex-wife’s new hire like a bird did its prey.

Rebecca could sense the additional discomfort and changed the subject. “So, how’s the little one?”

“Oh yeah, Diane,” Rupert replied proudly, nearly coaxing a liquid-less spit take from Y/n, “She’s already walking. Can you believe that? Yeah, drooling and pooing around the house.”

“Takes after her father,” Bex spoke up.

Rebecca managed to maintain her composure better than Y/n, who made sure to share the laugh with Bex.

Rupert looked less than thrilled with the joke and moved on quickly. “Well. Hey,” he looked back to his ex-wife, “Take it easy on us today.”

“No promises,” Rebecca said as the couple walked off.

Standing a bit awestruck at the barely concealed audacity of Rupert, Y/n stood beside her boss, trying to process the interaction.

“Thoughts?” Rebecca asked.

Y/n paused to think over her reply, “I feel like I need to strip out of my skin.”

“Yeah,” Rebecca breathed, “That’s about right. Let’s go.”

With that, they headed for the elevator up to the suites. While riding up, Y/n said a prayer to the higher power of football that the Greyhounds would be particularly ruthless on the pitch. A man like Rupert could not be allowed a win.

Up in the suites, Rebecca and Y/n spotted Higgins standing with Barbara, Shandy and a short haired brunette woman.

“Ah, Y/n, Rebecca,” Higgins flagged them down, “May I introduce, Ms. Jack Danvers.”

Once again, just barely concealing her surprise, Y/n immediately went into business mode, firmly shaking Jack’s hand.

“It’s great to meet you, Jack,” she smiled.

“You as well,” Jack replied, her lips forming an ‘o’ after, “You wouldn’t happen to be the same Y/n that headed up the managerial team at Microdom, would you?”

Y/n’s eyes widened, “I would be.”

Jack chuckled, “Gary Lawson’s a family friend. He sang your praises over a dinner once.”

“Well, nothing pairs better with red wine and chicken than talking about your employees,” Y/n quipped, dropping Jack’s hand.

“On the contrary,” Jack smiled, “I feel much better knowing the money’s going toward hard-working hands.”

“Hard-working,” Barbara spoke up, grinning uncharacteristically big, “Absolutely. She’s a wonder.”

Out of all the odd moments so far in the day, a cheery Barbara was the strangest, Y/n decided.

“Oh, yes,” Rebecca placed a hand on Y/n’s shoulder, “Y/n is extraordinary. One of our hardest workers.”

Y/n smiled up at Rebecca, she wasn’t used to her bosses being so willing to help facilitate her success.

“Well, Keeley’s really the one you need to meet,” Y/n passed the kindness on, “The brain behind the whole operation.”

“She’s absolutely fantastic,” Rebecca added.

“Oh, here she is now,” Barbara grinned.

Y/n and Rebecca split to make room for Keeley.

“Keeley?” Barbara gestured to her boss, “This is Jack Danvers.”

“Hello,” Jack stepped forward, “I believe you have something of mine.”

“Oh, fuck,” Keeley exclaimed, “You’re Jack? This is a bit embarrassing.”

Y/n could only imagine what that meant.

“Yeah, we all thought you were a man,” Shandy interjected.

“Yeah, that too,” Keeley agreed.

“It’s like that old riddle,” Higgins added.

“What riddle?” Rebecca asked.

“You know, always a tricky one, this one,” Higgins continued, “A father and son are in a car wreck. Dad dies instantly, the son is rushed to an emergency room. A surgeon walks in and says, ‘I can’t operate on this boy. He’s my son.’ How is it possible?”

The women all gave various answers, none of which Higgins had been waiting for.

“Right, yeah, I guess that’s a bit dated now,” Higgins recovered, “So, I assume ‘Jack’ is short for Jacqueline right?”

“No, it’s short for my father wanted a boy,” Jack answered.

0 for 2, Higgins turned to the group, “I’m gonna go and sit down now, outside. Now.”

Y/n stifled a laugh while Rebecca invited Jack to get a drink, Barbara trailing very close behind them. Y/n hung back with Keeley and Shandy.

“Barbara’s obsessed with Rebecca,” Shandy leaned in to tell them, “I hope she doesn’t try and kill her and wear her skin as a suit.”

Shandy raised a knowing eyebrow before heading off to join the women at the bar, leaving Keeley and Y/n dumbstruck.

“What the fuck?” Keeley whispered.

“Hey,” Y/n nudged Keeley with her elbow, “Breathe.”

Keeley squeezed Y/n’s arm in silent thanks as they went off together.

—————————

It wasn’t until the Greyhounds came onto the pitch that Y/n truly felt the sympathy nerves. Finally enjoying attending the matches mixed with finally having experienced Rupert’s arrogance and assholery had sparked a flame within her. It was a fraction, she suspected, of what Rebecca felt.

Throughout the game, Richmond held their own, but couldn’t seem to get past the Hammer’s defense. Zoreaux, who was going by Van Damme for unknown reasons, managed to block a goal. At one point, Jamie attempted to make a goal himself when it was clear an extra pass should have been made to Zava.

“Zava was wide open,” Rebecca exclaimed as the ball bounced off the net.

Y/n sighed, remembering her and Jamie’s conversation earlier in the week. That one was entirely on him.

Nearing the end of the first half, the Hammers managed to sneak one more goal past the Greyhounds, securing a 2-0 score. Y/n watched Ted, Coach Beard and Roy panic from their side of the field while Nate Shelley screamed in victory.

“Shit,” Y/n muttered, sinking back in her seat. She glanced out the corner of her eye to where Rebecca’s eyes were trained to see Rupert, arrogantly giving a shrug.

Rebecca grabbed her purse and stood to her feet, purpose in her movement. “Excuse me,” she growled.

Y/n tucked herself in as her boss stalked down the aisle, she knew better than to stand in Rebecca’s way when she was on the hunt.

Halftime passed with polite conversation between the KJPR team. A perky Barbara was something neither Keeley or Y/n were used to, but they adjusted. Most of the time, Y/n was spent in anxious hope that Shandy wouldn’t say too much and plant any seeds of doubt in Jack’s head about the company’s abilities.

When Rebecca returned, she looked to be in much better spirits. Y/n waited expectantly for an answer, Rebecca simply smiled and settled back into her seat.

The coaches returned to the pitch.

West Ham next.

Then Richmond.

Even with a great distance between them, the anger was visible in each of the Greyhound’s posture. They stalked past Nate, their former kitman, as if they were just barely holding themselves back from jumping the man. The moment was ripe with every kind of bad energy.

Then it got worse.

The Greyhounds became feral on the pitch. They were straight up attacking the Hammers, earning themselves red card after red card.

“What the fuck?” Y/n mumbled. This wasn’t the type of ruthless she’d wanted them to be.

Dani, the human embodiment of sunshine, was practically spitting on the other players. Sam, an actual angel, got uncharacteristically aggressive. Richard downright hurled the ball at one of the Hammers. Isaac had to rip him away. Richmond had lost three players due to the display of pure rage.

Y/n glanced down at the coaches as Isaac proceeded to shove one of the Hammers to the ground. Ted had his head in his hands. Nate Shelley was looking on smugly. What the hell had happened during halftime to inspire this behavior?

Finally, the match came to an end, 4-1. Zava had managed to score one goal and West Ham had snuck in two more amidst the chaos.

“Shit,” Rebecca muttered, spotting Rupert victoriously hugging his wife while locking eyes with his ex, “Shit. Shit.”

Keeley tried to stop Rebecca from leaving, but she needed to be alone to lick her wounds. Y/n glanced over to Higgins who puffed out his cheeks with a heavy breath.

“Right,” Y/n turned to Keeley, who was trying to make cheery conversation with Jack and Barbara, “Want me to handle interviews?”

“You sure?” Keeley asked.

“You stay here,” she nodded towards Jack, who was talking to Barbara, “Make us look good. I’ll deal with the rest.”

“Yeah, probably best,” Keeley agreed, “Thank you.”

Higgins and Y/n set off downstairs to the locker room to collect the players they needed.

“Probably best not to pick any of the boys that got red carded,” Higgins suggested as they headed down the hall.

“Oh, I’m not picking any of them,” Y/n retorted with barely concealed frustration. She knocked on the door and opened it a crack, “Everybody dressed?”

When there was no reply, she opened the door and took a step in, coming face to face with the team. They were all wallowing in various degrees of shame and rage.

“Hey, Y/n,” Ted said, lacking his usual enthusiasm, “Who do you need?”

Y/n scanned the faces that cheerfully greeted her each day. Some, like Colin and Sam, avoided her watchful gaze. Jamie watched her expectantly. Quite frankly, she didn’t feel like dealing with any of them.

“Zava,” Y/n turned to the star player, “Do you mind?”

“I do not,” he replied, rising and joining Y/n in the doorway. He didn’t leave until he looked back on the team once more, shaking his head like a disappointed parent. Y/n didn’t bother to hide her dismay either as she shut the door.

—————————

With Zava having done his interviews and Ted having addressed the press himself, Y/n could retire for the day, though relaxing was a ways off.

She came back to join Keeley and Jack, who were sipping champagne and chatting. Hopefully Keeley had made them look a lot better than what they’d presented.

“All good?” Keeley asked.

“As good as we can be,” Y/n answered, coming to stand beside Jack, “Whatever Keeley’s told you about how the team usually carries themselves, I’d like to second it.”

“Loud and clear,” Jack smiled.

Shandy came through the press room door, “Well, that was a shit show. Anyway, good news. Bantr’s trending.”

“It is?” Keeley asked.

“Yeah,” Shandy answered, “Pretty sure the change to the bio line helped.”

“Wait,” Y/n interrupted, exhausted by the day, “We changed the bio line?”

Keeley looked just as surprised as Shandy held up her phone. Her eyes widened as she took the mobile, before passing it to Y/n.

It read: Wanna Bang a Celebrity?

“Wha…” Y/n failed to form words.

“Who did this?” Keeley asked.

“I did,” Shandy answered proudly, “This afternoon after I uploaded the vids. You’re welcome.”

Y/n was too tired to mask her horror, she didn’t even have the strength to try. As Keeley tugged Shandy a few feet away, Y/n stayed beside Jack and lifted the corners of her mouth.

“We’re, uh, all a little off today,” she explained.

“Well, you’re hiding it very well,” Jack whispered, lightening the mood.

As soon as she saw Shandy’s face change from pride to offense, Y/n knew she couldn’t stay any longer. She was frustrated, tired and had plans for the night that needed her more.

“It was lovely to meet you,” she bade Jack farewell, “Give Gary my best.”

“You as well,” Jack smiled. The one takeaway from the day was at least KJPR’s backer wasn’t an asshole.

Y/n nodded to Keeley and avoided eye contact with Shandy as she left the press room, hastening her steps as soon as she was out of the room.

—————————

There was an unspoken understanding at the Crown and Anchor. It filled each weekend Richmond played. If they won, it would stay busy all night. If they lost, it emptied as soon as the tabs had been settled.

Suffice it to say, Y/n was sitting in near solitude.

She sat at the bar, picking at an order of chips and going through one-sheets. There were a surprising amount of apartments available in Richmond and she was overwhelmed by the options.

“All good, love?”

Y/n looked up to Mae, who was bringing her a fresh glass of water. “If you’re referring to the food, it’s great. If you’re referring to the-“

“We’re not speaking of that,” Mae interrupted, shutting the topic of the match down. Y/n had come to learn the bar owner took her Greyhound games as serious as life itself.

“I won’t fight you,” Y/n replied, going back to flipping through her papers.

“See you’re looking for a place,” Mae pointed towards the sheets, “I take it the job’s working out okay.”

Y/n snorted, “All evidence contrary to today, yes, it’s working out.”

“I told you,” Mae said with the pride of someone who knew how wise she was, “Just had to give it time.”

Y/n laughed a little, “I’ll learn to trust you eventually.”

Mae matter-of-factly nodded before leaving her patron be.

Y/n flipped through a few more papers, each property bleeding into the other till they all looked the same. She was ready to let her head drop to the counter when the papers in her hands suddenly became illuminated. She traced the light behind her, coming face to face with a blinding bulb.

“Fucking hell,” Y/n cursed, covering her eyes. She rubbed them until she could see again, Jamie’s silhouette coming into view, “What are you wearing?”

“Can’t run if I can’t see,” Jamie answered without feeling like like any further explanation was necessary.

“Why are you running at 8 o’clock?” Y/n asked in confusion.

“Three workouts a day,” Jamie replied, “Roy’s got us starting at 4AM.”

“Well, there’s light in here, so…” Y/n gestured around them.

Jamie switched off the headband’s lamp and took it off, smoothing his hair down after. He pointed to the stool beside Y/n, “You waitin’ on anyone?”

“Please,” Y/n gestured to the spot, she was too tired to fight against company.

The pub was quiet enough that the chances of Jamie being spotted didn’t require him to hide in a booth.

“I’m assuming this unholy schedule doesn’t pertain to the whole team?” Y/n asked, already suspecting Jamie’s motivation.

“Eh, no,” he answered, crossing his arms across the bar, “Just me.”

“Uh-huh,” Y/n replied just as Jamie flagged Mae down and asked for a water.

“Roy’s got me on a diet,” he explained when he caught the confusion on Y/n’s face, “Only one drink and only if we win a match.”

The five letter word had them finally meeting one another’s eyes, waiting for the other to address the benched elephant in the room.

“Right,” Y/n let the sheets in her hand fall on the counter, “What the fuck happened today?”

Jamie exhaled, rubbing a hand across his face. There was so much history behind the events of the match, he wasn’t sure where to start.

“You know that sign in the locker room?” Jamie gestured to the space above them, “Above the coach’s office?”

“The ‘Believe’ one?” Y/n replied.

“Yeah,” Jamie folded his arms again, “So…it’s a whole thing but, it means a lot. And when Nate left,” he inhaled to go over that bit of the past, but Y/n stopped him.

“I know who Nate is,” she said. His smug smile was still burned into her brain from earlier in the day.

“Right, so,” Jamie sighed, his tongue poking at his cheek in frustration, “We won last season, Nate stormed out and quit. But Roy and Beard put on this video for us during halftime of him…tearin’ up the sign.”

Y/n rested her head on her hand, listening intently.

“And…” Jamie grasped at the air, “It’s a big deal. To us. To the team. And I think we all just feel…” he paused, “Fuckin’ betrayed or somethin’. That he turned on us. But that sign…” Jamie shook his head, “Fuckin’….”

During her various trips to the locker room, Y/n had noticed the yellow and blue paper. She hadn’t thought anything of it, just another motivational decoration. She hadn’t realized that it held such a deep meaning to the team.

“So the solution was to get…” Y/n shrugged, “What was it, four red cards?”

“Hey,” Jamie pressed three fingers to his chest, “None of ‘em were me.”

Y/n chuckled, Jamie had managed to stay on the field the entire time. She suspected that might not have been the case a few years prior.

“I get it,” Y/n nodded, “Team loyalty. I mean, I think we’d all have preferred you channeled your anger a little more productively, but…”

Jamie bobbed his head, shame over how they’d dealt with their feelings had begun to set in over the last few hours. But he still couldn’t say he regretted it. Not fully.

“Well, Sky Sports is going to have a field day with you all,” Y/n sighed as she fished through her chips.

“All they’ll be talkin’ about is Zava,” Jamie made his voice more nasally when he uttered the name, “Since he’s the only one of us you wanted today.

Y/n quirked an eyebrow at him, “Well, I was slightly worried that Isaac might dropkick the camera man or Dani might bite a journalist or something.”

Jamie twisted his lips, half-smiling. He couldn’t fault her that.

“Let’s just categorize this day in the ‘suck’ column and move on,” Y/n said, slipping a one-sheet to the back of her pile.

“I’ll second that,” Jamie agreed, stretching his neck to look at the papers, “What’re you looking for a place?”

“Yeah, figured since I’m not going anywhere anytime soon,” Y/n tried to organize the pile somewhat, “Might as well cut down on the commute.”

Jamie held out his hand for the paper in Y/n’s. He examined the square footage, but mostly the street name.

“Oh, this is a shit area,” he commented, reaching for the Sharpie Y/n had laying nearby.

“I don’t think there are shit areas of Richmond,” Y/n shot back, watching as Jamie made a large ‘x’ across the picture of the apartment, “Wait, what-“

“I’m saving you from overpaying for a crap flat,” Jamie capped the marker and gestured for the other sheets, “Lemme see the others.”

Y/n looked between him and the pile, confused as to what was happening.

“C’mon,” Jamie wiggled his fingers.

She slid half the stack across the bar to him, keeping the other half for herself.

Jamie began to read the details of the first listing over. “This one’s on the other side of town,” he stated.

“I don’t care about that,” Y/n replied, “So long as it’s in town. Plus, it’s got a balcony.”

Jamie held up the next paper and compared the two. “This one’s shit too,” he reached for the marker again, predicting Y/n’s reaction, “Just trust me.”

The two of them sat at the bar, scooting their stools together until the pile had been thinned out and the day had ended more pleasantly than it began.

————

Heartfirst Taglist: @lalla-04p @optimisticsandwichgladiator @makingmunson94 @taytaylala12 @storysimp @sokkigarden @lightninginab0ttle @poohkie90 @alipap3 @verra-nerevarine @shineforever19 @spaceagechimera @burnafter-reading @qardasngan @cyberpvnk-enthusiast @sogoodtoheritsvicious @buckybarnex @angelsunflxwer @blueanfield @thewildestwonderland @sabelcities

#ted lasso fanfiction #ted lasso fanfic #ted lasso fic #ted lasso imagine #jamie tartt x reader #rebecca welton x reader #keeley jones x reader #ted lasso x reader #heartfirst

[writeroutoftime]

flufftober day 2 - family, friends, loved ones

pairing: jamie tartt x reader

words: 0.7k

oOoOo

“Sometimes it feels like we’re never going to get married.” you lamented to Keeley and Rebecca as the three of you sat around Rebecca’s flat, sipping on wine with a trashy movie on in the background. 

Being engaged to one of the biggest, hotshot players in the league was not all it was cracked up to be. Just over a year ago, Jamie had gotten down on one knee and popped the question, but between your schedule and his, you were in a perpetual state of engagement. 

“Babes, it’ll all work out, I know it. But as long as the two of you know the commitment you want to make to each other, that’s all that matters, right?” Keeley reassured you, rubbing a soothing touch up and down your arm. 

“I suppose you're right.” 

“Of course she is.” Rebecca interjected. “My wedding to Rupert happened weeks after he proposed, cost a fortune, was a whole fucking affair turned out to be a pile of shit.” 

Though you and Keely tried to keep a straight face, you couldn’t help but burst out laughing at Rebecca’s mini rant, her eventually joining in. It made you feel a bit better, and the thought slowly began to dissipate from your mind. 

It wasn’t until two weeks later that you thought anything about your conversation with Keeley and Rebecca. You and Jamie had been called into the Dog Track, but neither of you were sure as to why. It was an off week for a match and a rare, free Saturday for the team to enjoy. 

The two of you walked into the building, hand in hand, only to be met with Keeley and Roy, with a huge grin and a half scowl on their faces respectively. 

“Finally!” Keeley cried, reaching to grab your hand and pull you away. Before Jamie could even protest, the blonde threw a quick “We’ll see you two later.” over her shoulder. 

All your questions went unanswered until Keeley pulled you into Rebecca’s office, where the room in question stood waiting with three glasses of champagne and a mischievous smile on her face. You glanced around the room, eyes narrowed in confusion until you spotted a dress hanging a ways away - a white dress. 

“Umm, guys, what’s going on?” 

The two women looked at each other before looking back at you. “Do you trust us?” Rebecca asked. 

oOoOo

Forty minutes later and you found yourself outside on the pitch, Jamie being led out by Roy and some of the other players. The two of you met in the middle and found Ted waiting there in a nice suit, and a cheesy grin on his face. 

“Hey, y’all,” Ted started. “I know this isn’t necessarily the big day you probably dreamed of, but we thought we’d throw you this little party. Now Beard here has gotten himself ordained and we’re all ready to perform a little ceremony so that one of our favorite couples can call themselves hitched.” he smiled, before rushing to add on “‘Course, you don’t have to go through with this. We don’t mean to overstep, just wanted to do something nice for you two.” 

You were stunned and overwhelmed by the love you felt from this team, and it was hard to stop the tears that pricked at the corner of your eyes. A huge grin overtook your features and you turned to look at your fiance, giving him a questioning look. Jamie looked towards his team, back at you, and smiled with the slightest nod. Both of you knew what your answer was. 

“We’d love to.” Jamie said and was quickly drowned out by the cheers of everyone waiting to hear your decision. 

You couldn’t help but laugh as Jamie was rushed down to the makeshift aisle with Beard while Keeley and Rebecca quickly walked down as your ‘bridesmaids,’ and Ted stood back with you offering you his arm. 

“Hope you don’t mind, but can I walk you down?” he asked. 

By that point, tears of joy and love were streaming down your face as you could only nod in response. It might not have been the ceremony you were expecting, but all that mattered was that you were surrounded by the people who loved you and you, finally, got to join your life with the man you loved. 

#flufftober2023 #jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt imagine #ted lasso imagine #rita writes

[onceuponaoneshotfanfic]

Just Do It

Request: Hi I don’t know if you’re still taking asks and I hate when people ask me stuff when my inbox is closed, but if you are could you please write a Roy Kent x reader with an age gap? That’s literally all I have and I know you touched on it it Superstar and I totally get it if you don’t have time/don’t want to! Love your writing so much and hope your time in Vegas is fun!

Roy Kent x Reader

0.9k words

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol, age gap (ages not mentioned, but reader is in their 20s, Roy is early 40s)

A/N: Thanks for the request! I hope you like it ❤️❤️ (also, Vegas was lots of fun, just way too hot for my taste!)

Roy sat in the corner of Ola’s watching you carefully as you chatted with some of the players. You’d been working at Nelson Road for a couple of months now, and he’d fallen hard and fast for you. Of course, people noticed. Rebecca found any reason she could to send you to the coaches’ office. Keeley asked him almost daily if he thought you looked pretty that particular day. Jamie kept leaving Viagra advertisements on his desk. Even Beard gave him a little nudge every time you walked by. It seemed like everyone at the Dog Track knew how he felt except, well, you.

“Watcha lookin’ at Coach?” Jamie stood over Roy, following the older man’s gaze. “Ohhh.”

Roy scowled. “Oh, what?” Roy knew what. He knew exactly what.

Jamie grinned. “Just ask her out already, lad. She’s not gonna say no, I swear.”

“And why is that?” Roy huffed, taking a long swig of his beer.

“Well for one, I bet she was raised to respect her elders.”

A low growl escaped from the depths of Roy’s lungs. “That’s why I’m not going to fucking ask her out. She’s what, like your age? No thanks. I don’t need all the jokes about being old enough to be her dad or asking her to move into a nursing home with me or whatever jokes you’ve been saving in a notebook.”

Jamie shrugged. “I actually write them in the notes app on my phone. Because I’m not an old man.”

“Yeah, you can fucking leave now,” Roy grumbled, giving Jamie a shove.

Before walking away, Jamie called over his shoulder, “Do what Nike says, Coach. Just do it!”

With a grunt, Roy returned to staring at you. His heartbeat stuttered when you looked up from your conversation with Dani to look his way. Something sparkled in your eyes when you caught him staring that made Roy’s throat go dry. It got worse when you got up and walked over to him, plopping your beer on his table, and dropping yourself into the chair across from him.

“How’s it going?” you asked cheerfully, offering him your best smile.

“Not bad,” he mumbled, tapping his own beer bottle. “Yourself?”

You shrugged. “Mostly okay.” There was something almost glum in your expression.

Roy wasn’t used to that; you almost always had a smile on your face. “Fuck’s wrong?”

There was a long moment of the two of you staring at each other, your mouth slightly open, as if you were trying to figure out what to say. Roy’s mind went rapid wondering what it was. Something about a boyfriend? Were you leaving Richmond? Did you know about Roy’s dumb little crush? Did you want him to leave you the fuck alone?

Finally, you let out a sigh. “Right. Um, so I’m going to ask you something, and you’re going to answer, and then we are going to pretend like this conversation never happened. Deal?”

“Depends on the question,” Roy answered, leaning forward.

Your head tilted back and forth, something Roy often saw you do when you were nervous or thinking hard about something. He thought it was fucking adorable, although now it made him nervous.

Your face was beet red as your fingernails scratched the label on your beer bottle. “I just… was wondering why you haven’t asked me out.”

Fuck. Maybe Jamie was right, maybe Roy was just one good scare away from having a fucking heart attack. His jaw slacked a little as he stared at you, not quite sure what to say. But seeing the fear that swam in the eyes he loved to see, he knew he needed to say something.

“What makes you think I was going to?” Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. The way your shoulders slumped told him that this was the absolute wrong thing to say.

“Oh. Shit.” Your eyes screwed shut. “I am so sorry. I completely misinterpreted things. I’m an absolute knob, thinking that you- and I-” When your eyes opened, Roy swore he saw tears. “Like I said, pretend this never happened.” You shot to your feet, a look of absolute humiliation frozen on your face.

Instinctively, Roy grabbed your wrist, gazing up at you, feeling like his stomach was twisting and untwisting over and over. “Too old,” he mumbled, feeling his own face go red now. “Aren’t I?”

To his surprise, you shrugged. “Dunno. I mean, sure, you’re older than me by a bit. But I don’t really care, if I’m being honest. I dunno, I thought that maybe there was… something.”

Roy licked his lips. Like Nike always said- just do it.

“There is,” he admitted. “At least, for me there is. Something there, I mean.” He ducked his head, ignoring the fact that he still held your wrist in his hand. “I fucking like you.”

A smile replaced your somber expression. “Oh really?” You resumed your seat, sliding your arm back so your hand was in his. “Tell me more.”

Roy glanced down at your hands, a small smirk creeping across his face. “How about I tell you somewhere my team isn’t watching us?” He nodded behind you, where Jamie and Dani and the others were staring at you two with great interest, beaming and holding their breaths.

You raised an eyebrow at Roy. “Roy Kent, are you asking if I want to get out of here?”

“Maybe,” he grunted. “I know a decent place to get a drink. What d’you say?”

Keeping hold of his hand, you stood up and nodded towards the door. “I say let’s do it.”

#request ❤️ #he's here he's there he's every fucking where #roy kent #roy kent x reader #roy kent fanfiction #roy kent fic #roy kent fluff #roy kent fanfic #roy kent imagine #ted lasso #ted lasso imagine #ted lasso fanfic #ted lasso fluff

[buckychristwrites]

Number 23- pretend to be my date with Jamie 🙌🏻

WAIT okay so i’m changing the whole prompt but same concept okay

23.) “Pretend to be my date.”

“Can we please leave?” Jamie whined, setting the empty beer bottle on the bar top. “Fuckin’ loud in here.”

“We just got here!” Sam exclaimed, shaking his head at his friend. “Give it time.”

Jamie glanced around the pub exhaustedly. He didn’t want to be there. He wanted to be at home, lying down. He had just found out about Keeley and Roy’s engagement, and though he was incredibly happy for them, it was also a reminder of how incredibly, pathetically alone he was.

“Hi,” A voice said from behind. Rolling his eyes, he turned to find you, hands behind your back and standing awkwardly.

Another fan, he thought to himself. Just what I need.

“Hi,” He sighed. You introduced yourself, in a way that made a furrow in his eyebrows.

Do you not know who I am? He wondered

“This is gonna sound weird but…” You started, glancing around before turning back to him. “Will you be my boyfriend for five minutes?”

He stared at you blankly before leaning his head towards you.

“What?”

Without answering, you linked your arm with his and tucked yourself into his side. Eyes not on him, he followed your line of sight to find you staring at Shandy, who looked appalled as she stormed over.

“Jamie!” She exclaimed, looking between the two of you. “How the fuck do you know each other?”

You looked at him with surprise, as if you didn’t expect Shandy to know him. He was staring at you with a similar look.

“We go to the same dentist,” You explained immediately.

“I didn’t know you dated footballers!” Shandy said in a tone that was trying to feign excitement while hiding the resentment. It didn’t fool anyone.

“Well you know…” You looked at him, eyes burning through his, as you brought a tender hand to his cheek, your fingertips brushing his skin. “With a face like this… who wouldn’t?”

Jamie could feel the blush in his cheeks. The contact wasn’t enough, now you were complimenting him? He couldn’t handle it.

As if you could read his mind, you turned and planted a peck to his unsuspecting lips. His heart was beating a thousand miles a minute, threatening to explode out of his chest.

“Well…” Shandy said, crossing her arms over her chest. A beat passed where she didn’t say anything else, until finally she stormed off again. You pulled away quickly as you brushed a piece of hair behind your ear.

“Sorry about that.” You shoved your hands in your pockets. “I knew her in school. Fucking cunt. She asked if I was seeing anyone. I panicked.” You let out a nervous laugh, and Jamie did the same. Glancing around, you sighed. “I’ll leave you alone though. Thanks for your assistance.” You gave him a shy smile before walking away.

He watched you go.

What just happened?

His feet pulled him forward after you.

And how do I make it happen again?

#jamie tartt #jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt headcanon #jamie tartt fanfiction #anonymous #answered

[thetarttfuldickhead]

Locker Room Conversations III

In which everyone suspects that Roy, Jamie and Keeley are dating. Well, except for Roy.

---

“Oi! Roy!”

At Jamie’s call Roy turned from the board he’d been painstakingly filling with his cramped hand to look at the younger man, changed out of his training kit but still lounging carelessly on the bench by his locker.

“What?” The use of ‘Roy’ rather than ‘Coach’ suggested this had nothing to do with the practice they’d just finished or the upcoming game on Sunday.

“You need to check your phone, mate. Keeley wants us to do brunch tomorrow at her place, and she wonders if you can pick up croissants from that little French place near your house.”

“Oh. Yeah. Sure.” 

“Great.” 

Jamie started typing away furiously at his phone, and Roy was about to turn back to the task at hand when he noticed that the dressing room had fallen suspiciously quiet during the quick exchange. 

“What?” Roy demanded. There was something in that silence that had alarm bells going off in his head… When no one answered him, he cocked his head to the side, donning his very best Roy Kent glare. “What?”

Most of the players looked away. Van Damme looked at Colin. Colin looked at Isaac. Isaac looked at Dani. Dani looked at a pair of socks.

Sighing, but seemingly accepting the burden of his captaincy, Isaac spoke up, gesturing vaguely in a circle that encompassed both Roy and Jamie: “Are you… it’s just that we’ve been wondering, yeah… are the three of you… dating?”

Roy stared. What.

“No.” he said slowly, trying to wrap his head around the fact that this had been a question. “We’re not dating.” They’d been hanging out a lot ever since Manchester, sure, but really, what kind of fucking leap was this? 

“Oh.” And somehow that didn’t sound at all like an oh of course what a very stupid thing to ask but very much like an oh are you sure and What. The. Fuck was going on here?” 

Roy glanced at Jamie, hoping that he might jump in and add his refutation to Roy’s so they could lay this whole ridiculous thing to rest.

Only. Jamie wasn’t looking like he thought this was the stupidest thing he’d ever heard. He was making a stupid face, sure, but one that Roy recognized as deliberately noncommittal. And he was keeping conspicuously quiet.

Roy blinked. But. What.

“We’re not dating… ?” he said again, but there was a curious twist to the end of the sentence, turning into more of a question than he had planned, or had ever thought he’d need in relation to this particular subject.

All eyes turned to Jamie.

Unfazed, Jamie shrugged. “Eh. Not really. I mean, we’re taking it slow, see how it goes.”

“Oh.” Collective from the rest of the team and to Roy’s consternation this ‘oh’ sounded like oh right we get it that make sense which was insane because it really fucking didn’t.

“We’re what?” he demanded in what he thought was a very calm and reasonable manner.

“Jesus, man, no need to fucking shout,” Jamie said reproachfully. “This is why we’re taking it slow,” he added to the others. “Old people get so worked about new things, yeah? Gotta take it easy or you’ll spook ‘em.” He turned back to Roy, smiling brightly like the absolute little prick that he was. “Anyway. You’ll bring the croissants for brunch, yeah?”

Roy opened his mouth. Closed it again. Tried to think of something – anything – to say. What eventually came out was, ”If I say yes, does that mean I’ve agreed to go on a date with you?”

With Keeley, and with you.

For some reason, the idea didn’t quite make him want to tear his guts out and use them to strangle Jamie.

Jamie shrugged again, keeping his face as neutral as he could manage (which wasn’t very) but his brown eyes were glittering. Roy’s traitorous heart did a weird little thing at that.

”Nah,” Jamie said, and then his stupidly full lips curled into a slight but impossibly smug smirk. “Maybe. So, brunch?”

Closing his eyes, wondering if he was losing his mind or finally coming to his senses, Roy said, ”Yeah, yeah, we’ll do brunch.”

#roy/keeley/jamie #roy x jamie x keeley #roy kent #jamie tartt #a team of himbos #post 3x11 #ficlet #crack #unless... #i mean the ot3 is not crack #it's roy being completely oblivious #i was going to write serious meta i swear #but here we are #locker room conversations #my stuff

[sortofanobsession]

omg I’m so glad you’re alive and I hope you’re feeling better. Can’t wait to read your Ted lasso writing again<3

Author's Note: ask and you shall receive...

Content warning: injury, hospital, surgery, anxiety, fear, cussing (it's Roy so duh) Crying.

Paring: Roy/Jamie

Ted Lasso Masterlist

Ao3

No Show Roy-o

Jamie paced the locker room. The team just watching him. 

Everyone's eyes snap to the door when someone starts to open it but they are disappointed when Ted and Beard walk in. The two coaches look at each other and then the team before heading into the office. 

"Okay, something is wrong," Ted says as he sets his backpack down. 

"Clearly," Beard replies. 

Ted watches the team through the window and notices all the attention on Tartt. Well, then he knew where to start.

"What's wrong, Jamie?" Ted asks as he approaches the striker. 

"Roy didn't show for training this morning and he isn't here yet."

"Has he ever missed before?" 

"The man actually lives to wake me up at 4 am to order me around," Jamie states. "No, he never misses. Not without a text at least."

"Did you call him?"

"I'm not daft," Jamie huffs. "Several times. No answer. Now it goes to voicemail."

"Some of us tried too," Isaac says. "Nothing."

"Keeley hasn't been able to ring him either," Jamie says. "Should I call his sister?"

"You have his sister's number?"

"For emergencies, and Phoebe," Jamie admits. 

"Hold on, you have contact with Roy's niece?" Ted asks. "She's what? 8?"

"That's really the important part to you now?" Jamie asks.

"Kinda, odd friendship there," Ted admits. 

"She insists I'm Roy's best friend, and Roy says it's for emergencies. She has a very different definition of emergencies, like you said, she's 8."

"Okay, fine," Ted says. He could let that go for now.  

"Do you think this counts as an emergency?" Jamie asks. 

"Let's see if he is doesn’t show, not just later than normal," Ted says. 

But when time comes to head out to the pitch and Roy still isn't there Jamie cracks and texts Roy's sister. She texts him back that she'll check his place. And that gives Jamie some reassurance as he begins training. He gives Ted his phone in case she or Roy calls. Ted initially thought it was silly, but about an hour in she does call. She tells Ted that Roy wasn't there and the fact he isn't answering for her is unusual. Roy would never ignore a call from her or Phoebe. But she also insists that Roy can handle himself. And she'll let them know if she hears anything. And that makes Ted a bit nervous. They were just about to take a break when Phoebe called Jamie. She is crying and Ted actually does call Jamie over for this one. And Jamie, still in his kit, drags Ted inside. Changes only his boots while still on the phone and whispers to Ted to get what he needs. 

"Where are we going?" Ted asks but does as Jamie says because something feels very wrong here. 

"The fucking hospital," Jamie hisses, not to be mean but more so Phoebe doesn't hear. 

"Oh, that's bad, yeah, let's go." Ted nods and follows Jamie’s lead. 

"We're on the way Phoebe, just stay there." 

Phoebe runs over and hugs Jamie when she sees him.

"Hey, Phoe," Jamie says and despite the fact she is 8 years old, Jamie hauls her up into his arms for a hug. And Ted is almost envious of how easy that seemed for him. But Ted is still very confused. "You remember Coach Ted?" Jamie asks her. She nods as Jamie sets her down. 

"Hi Phoebe," Ted says. "Are you okay?" Ted asks. 

She shrugs and looks over. Ted sees a doctor he had met before, but she looked out of place in street clothes. 

"Hey, Doc." Jamie hugs her. "What happened?"

"Still trying to sort that out," she says.

"You're Roy's sister?" Ted finally asks. 

"Oh sorry, yeah, Coach Lasso, Doc. Doc, Coach Lasso."

"Thanks Jamie," Ted says at the less than helpful introduction but Jamie is already being pulled away to the waiting area by Phoebe. 

"How much did Jamie tell you?" 

"Absolutely nothing," Ted admits. 

She shakes her head. "Right, Roy was brought in about a half hour ago. A friend of mine on shift recognized him and called me. They think he was hit by a car but we have no idea."

"Oh wow, I am so sorry, that-" Ted starts to say but she stops him.

"Thank you, he's in surgery now, I assume you will want to let Ms. Welton know. He might be out for a while."

"Yeah, right, good calls must run in the family," he says. 

"Something like that," she says before going to check on Phoebe. 

She leans in and whispers to Jamie that Roy is in surgery and it's a waiting game now. 

Ted calls Rebecca and Beard, then Keeley. Keeley is there in less than twenty minutes.

"Keeley?" Jamie asks when he sees her. She hugs Phoebe and then him. 

"Ted called," she says and smacks his arm. 

"What was that for?"

"You didn't call me!"

"I was busy with her," Jamie says, gesturing to Phoebe. Thankfully she had her headphones on and was curled up in a chair. 

"Fine, that is an acceptable excuse. Here," she hands him a bag. "I ran by Nelson Road and got your stuff. Sam had made sure it was packed up. They're all pretty worried."

"They aren't the only ones," Jamie glances at Phoebe. 

"Does Ted know?" 

She glances out the window to where Ted was clearly on the phone with Rebecca or Higgins.

"Know what?"

"About you and Roy?" She says.

"Nah, didn't know if I should tell him. We haven't talked about it."

"Well, I think this might genuinely blow your cover."

"Hasn't yet," Jamie says.

"Jamie, I know you. You're managing right now because of Phoebe, but the minute you see him, you-"

"I know," Jamie seems to deflate. "I am trying so hard but-" 

"Oh babe," she hugs him and grimaces. "I love you, Jamie but do us all a favor and change. I'll stay with her."

"Yeah, right, okay," Jamie says as he heads to the toilets to change. 

"Where's Jamie?" Ted asks when he gets back.

"Changing out of his kit, Ted there is something I need to tell you, the boys might get mad, but Jamie is going to need someone and as much as he tries to hide it he is terrified."

"Okay, lay it on me," Ted says.

"Roy and Jamie have been secretly dating since just after international break."

"Wow," Ted says. "That's…new information." He admits. "Does explain why he has Roy's sister in his phone. And why he was so worried when Roy didn't show up for training." 

"They were keeping it a secret because well, for a lot of reasons, but I believe that ship might have sailed based on the fact Jamie didn't even change out of his kit."

"Did change his boots," Ted says.

"Probably not easy to drive in," she says.

"Probably," Ted agrees. 

"Please don't make a big deal out of it, Jamie wasn't going to say anything because he wasn't sure if Roy would want him to, but Jamie brought you for a reason. He brought you because he trusts you and Roy trusts you. And I know you won't hold this against them."

"Heck no, I'm glad they have each other, just surprised is all. You think Jamie is just a ticking time bomb in this one?"

"Definitely," Keeley nods. "And I'm not sure what will set him off."

"Thanks for the heads up, I'll keep this between us unless something happens."

"Thank you, Ted." 

Keeley heads back to work after they promise to keep her in the loop. Roy's sister comes back a bit later to tell them that Roy was out of surgery but it would be a bit before anyone could see him.

"You should be at training," is the first thing out of Roy Kent's mouth when they walk in. He glares at Jamie. 

"Uncle Roy!" Phoebe rushes over and hugs him as best as she can.

"Hi, Phoebe," he says before looking at Jamie. 

"You really think I would stay at training after they called me?" Jamie challenges.

"Yes, not much you can do here," Roy says.

"How hard did that car hit you?” Jamie narrows his gaze at him. “Because clearly your brain is rattled, old man." 

"How you feeling, Roy?" Ted asks to get the two to quit being so grumpy.

"Like I got hit by a car," Roy states.

"You did," Phoebe sniffles. 

"I'm okay, kid," he says. Earning a scoff from Jamie. Roy glares at him. "You should-"

"Oh, Jamie Tartt's not going anywhere," Ted assures him. "Rebecca already knows you'll be out for a while, and sorry boys, but the cats out of the bag on this one."

"You told him," Roy glares at Jamie again.

"I did not," Jamie looks just as shocked. 

"Keeley told me," Ted says. "Because she was worried Jamie was handling it too well."

"Of course she was," Jamie complains. 

"You did cry, like a lot earlier," Phoebe says. 

"Thanks for that, Phoe," Jamie says, his tone less than amused at being called out by a literal child.

"Phoebe, why don't you help me find your mom and call Keeley," Ted says. 

She seems to weigh her options.

"And stop by the vending machines," Ted adds.

"Okay," she hugs her uncle again before following Ted out. Roy looks over at Jamie and can tell he really is hanging in by a thread.

"I'm fine," Roy says. And Jamie doesn't even say anything, just crawls in the bed beside Roy. Roy grunts but manages to shift a bit to make them both fit. "Better?" Roy asks once Jamie is practically molded into his side. 

"Yes, much," Jamie says and he buried his face in Roy's shoulder. 

"Why am I not surprised?" Roy's sister says when she walks in. 

"Not my idea," Roy says.

"Not complainin' though, yeah?" Jamie counters.

"Tear his stitches and I'm banning you myself, Tartt," she says.

"Ouch, Doc," Jamie says. "But fair."

She hums as she sets to checking his vitals. 

“Pain?” She asks.

He grunts.

“Roy,” she starts but Jamie beats her to it. 

“It's either now or you have to admit it when Phoebe gets back,” Jamie says. And whether it is because he's right or that Jamie's so close to losing it Roy knows he needs to answer. 

“Fine, 6.”

“Right,” his sister says.

She makes a few notes.

It was quiet again when she left. 

“Are you mad?” Jamie asks.

“That I got hit by a fucking car?” Roy counters. That seemed like an obvious question. Of fucking course he was. He could have died. His mind circles back as Jamie shifts. 

“That people know,” Jamie corrects. “About us.”

Roy considers it as best he can with painkillers in his system. And he really doesn't fucking care because Jamie is there with him and despite how he was acting before he was glad he was there. It had been terrifying to think he might die when he has people that need him. 

“No,” Roy finally answered. “Needed you here, and if that's the fucking cost. Fine.”

“Good, because I think the team knew something was up, but that might have been because I couldn't sit still.”

“When have you ever fucking sat still?” Roy posits.

“This was worse,” Jamie tells him. “I'm sure Will is going to be pissed at the state of my boots. Pacing constantly on a hard surface.”

“Well get you new fucking boots,” Roy assures.

“Least of my worries, love,” Jamie admits, carefully shifting so he can see Roy's face. “Scared the shit out of me when I couldn't- you weren't answering. No one could find you. You never-”

“Fuck,” Roy says because Jamie has tears streaming down his face and he hates when that happens. He hates that it's because of him, even if he had no say in what happened to him. Despite the ache it causes Roy reaches up and brushes as many of those tears away as he can without risking his stitches. “I'm-”

“Don't!” Jamie starts to pull away. The striker knew what he was about to say. Jamie vehemently shakes his head, causing Roy's hand to have to fall back to the bed. “You are not fucking fine, Roy,” Jamie states, and it was clear what little hold Jamie had on his feelings was slipping. “Because I’m not! Phoebe isn’t either. You nearly died! I can't…do you think I want to do any of this shit without you? Because I fucking don't.”

“Not fucking asking you to,” Roy says, and it probably comes out more aggressive than he intended because Jamie was no longer tucked against his side. The footballer was on his feet, having wound himself up to pacing again. And Roy's chest always gets tight when Jamie does that shit. He needs Jamie to be okay. But he knows he probably said that wrong when Jamie glares at him. 

“You didn't fucking have to,” Jamie retorts. And that's fair. 

“Fucking hell,” Roy grumbles, attempting to sit up so he can better track Jamie's movement. 

“Don’t do that,” Jamie grumbles as he moves back to help him. “Hurt yourself and your sister will boot me.”

“Then quit fucking pacing,” Roy tugs at Jamie's arm until he sits on the edge of the bed. Roy sighs, ignoring the ache in his ribs as he does. 

“I'm not fucking dying, Tartt. Fucking doctors made sure of it.”

“Barely,” Jamie says.

“But they fucking did, and that's fucking that.”

Jamie scoffs but doesn't bother arguing. He was anxious and still thinking about how much worse things could have been, and how much could still go wrong.

“Look at me, Tartt,” Roy demands. Jamie does. “I know this is a fucking mess, but I will be fucking fine. You know why?” Jamie shrugs. “Because you lot won't stop until I am. You, my sister and Ted fucking Lasso, are all fucking determined. Throw in Keeley and that fucking team. I probably won't get a fucking quiet moment til I'm back at the dog track. So fucking do it.”

“Are you telling me to take care of you?” Jamie asks. 

“Going to fucking do it anyway, yeah?”

“Of course,” Jamie nods. “What do you need me to do?”

“You're here, so things are already fucking better,” Roy states. That has warmth spreading through Jamie's chest because Roy has less filter than most, but it would appear he has even less now. And it's oddly sweet.

“Yeah, I'm here,” Jamie says as he shifts to prop his knee up on the bed and takes Roy's hand in his. The fact Roy seems to relax even more has Jamie smiling for what feels like the first time all day. “And you heard the gaffer, I'm not going anywhere. You're stuck with me.”

“Good, going to need help with the kid,” Roy says. “She is going to be impossible to get rid of.”

“Don't lie Kent, you love every second of it. You love that kid.”

“Not the only fucking one,” Roy states. 

“That loves Phoebe? Of course not, she's adorable and-”

Roy squeezes his hand. 

“That I love, you fucking muppet. Sometimes I wonder why but fucking hell, Tartt. I fucking love you.”

Jamie grins. “Fucking love you too, you prick.”

Roy tugs him until Jamie lays back down beside him. There is a knock at the door. Jamie goes to get up but Roy doesn't let him. 

“Well aren't you two adorable,” Ted says as he and Phoebe come in. 

“Fuck off, Lasso,” Roy grunts.

“Uncle Roy,” Phoebe starts.

“I know, kid,” Roy says. 

“Your mum probably knows where his wallet is more than he does,” Jamie says.

“Could probably finally cash out that tab I've heard about,” Ted adds.

“Oi, don't give her fucking ideas.”

“That's two,” Ted states. 

“Fucking hell,” Roy mutters, closing his eyes and letting his head fall back against the pillows. 

“Three,” Phoebe giggles. 

“I got you,” Jamie quietly tells Roy. Jamie grabs his wallet from his locker and tosses it to Phoebe. Phoebe gives him a look. “He's been through it, so I'll take the hit for him.” Jamie grins. Phoebe just shrugs and takes three quid from him.

“Now he owes you,” Phoebe says, setting his wallet on the table by his phone, which he had set aside to focus on Roy when he initially crawled into the bed. 

Roy glares at him, but it doesn't bother the striker. 

#tw: injury #tw: hospitalization #tw: hospitals #tw: hit by car #tw: crying #tw: cursing #tw: cussing #tw: fear #tw: anxiety #tw: medical procedures #tw: medical emergencies #tw: medical treatment #tw: medication #tw: mentions of death #ted lasso fic #royjamie #jamie x roy #roy x jamie #jamieroy

[jamiesfootball]

How do you think Keeley would have reacted if when she told Roy she slept with Jamie after he blew her off that Roy said he'd had a one night stand with Jamie in between the gala and then too?

First answer? She jumps out of her chair and shouts, “J’ACCUSE!”

Possible realistic answer? Some insightful and semi-nuanced conversation regarding the circumstances in which the hookup happened and what it means for Roy and Keeley’s potential relationship etc etc (this is other people’s bread and butter, I can’t help with this sort of stuff, sorry)

Now.

Funniest answer?

She pretends she doesn’t believe him.

And at first maybe, she doesn’t. Roy, irritated and more than a little miffed that this is something he actually has to put words to, starts to explain what happened and as he talks it clicks for her, ‘oh he might be telling the truth.’

Except she's still miffed about him ghosting her, so in a spur of the moment Keeley Jones Whim (TM) she decides to double down. No, she doesn't believe him. You can just say you’re upset with me. You don’t need to make things up.

"I’m not making it up. I’m telling you I slept with him. I can even tell you what he looks like naked."

"Locker room."

"I know what he's like in bed."

"Tabloids."

Because then whats Roy gonna do? Go to the Diamond Dogs and ask them 'how to convince the person you want to be dating that you slept with someone else?' Go to Jamie and try to get him to back him up?

"You need to tell your ex girlfriend we slept together. She doesn’t believe me. She says that I'm making it up."

Jamie: *astroprojecting to the ether to sync up with Keeley ET-style*

"........what are you talking about?"

"The- what? After the gala."

"I don't know man, it sounds sounds like maybe you had a bit too much to drink in your old age."

Roy:

Then when Jamie comes to Keeley’s house at the end of the season, Roy is like ‘FINALLY. NOW CAN WE ALL PLEASE ADMIT I SLEPT WITH JAMIE.’

Keeley and Jamie, realizing that they have not discussed The Bit with each other:

“Roy, we’re a little concerned by how much you keep bringing this up.”

“Yeah mate. I think your memory might be going. Have you been checked for Alzheimer’s?”

Roy:

The return on dividends for this is endless. It would only become more frustrating, and therefore funnier, the longer it goes on

And the thing is? Roy knows they’re fucking with him. He fucking knows that he’s feeding the wolves the more he lets it get to him. So he tries to let it go, let enough time pass that surely they’ll be over this bit and one of them will just ADMIT THAT HE’S TELLING THE TRUTH

They 'the shark is smooth' this man to his deathbed.

#i thought I had nothing interesting to say and then i had a blast #thanks for this! #tagged for shipping #just in case #royjamie #roykeeley #ask box is always open #i stand by 'j'accused!' for what it's worth

[luvr-bunnyy]

lattes and love at first sight

JAMIE TARTT x FEM!BAKER!READER

word count: 1.7k

© luvr-bunnyy pls don't use my headers or writing without permission

warnings: none! just some fluffy jaime

[a/n: i may continue this baker!reader in other fics!! but this is also the result of that random, spin the wheel thing i did...i may have written jaime out of character but i just love the thought of a usually confident man reduced to a flustered, nervous mess for the person he likes...anyways, enjoy!]

A heavy sigh ripped through your chest as you continued to knead at the dough in front of you. Your forearms were burning, a bead of sweat had rolled down your back, but you continued on, focused on your task as the sweet crooning of Marcus Mumford filled the bakery. You separated your dough into smaller parts, placing them on the tray beside you and once they filled it up, you carried the massive thing over to your proofer, sliding it into place and refilling the water tray. 

As you shut the door, a familiar tinkling caught your attention. It was followed by a familiar voice and one that was quite new to you. 

“Keeley, I don’t think the shop’s even open yet…why don’t we just-” 

“For the hundredth time Jaim’s, it’s open.” She scoffed before calling out, “(Y/n)! Babes, where’re you hiding!” 

A laugh bubbled from your chest as you finished setting your timer. “I’m back here Keeles! Be up in a sec!” Your eyes scoured the countertops before you found your tea towel and you snatched it up, wiping your hands as you stepped out into the front of the store. 

“There you are! Hi, babes! How are you?” She leaned over the counter and pulled you into a hug. Her sweet perfume invaded your senses in the best ways, the familiarity filling your chest with warmth. “I’m great, a little sweaty but great!” Understanding the implication of your statement, she scoffed and held you tighter before letting you go. “Oh stop it babe, you smell like cookies.” 

“Well, thank God for that.” You laughed before finally glancing over to the man that was staring intently at the scene in front of him. He seemed vaguely familiar but you couldn’t quite figure it out. “Oh uhm, h-hi. I’m (Y/n).” 

“Erm Jamie, nice to meet ya. Keeley never shuts up about this place so I thought I’d come with her. See what all the fuss is about.” 

“Great! I hope it lives up to the hype. Keeley, your usual?” 

“Yes! And can I get a dozen of your pastries please, love? Surprise me.” 

“Of course, and what about you Jaime?” He panicked once your eyes were on him again, realizing that since you stepped out of the kitchen, his gaze had never bothered to look anywhere else but you, much less to look at your menu board. 

Keeley’s eyes twinkled in amusement as she watched Jamie’s cheeks pinken, stuttering the slightest bit as he answered. “How about an iced coffee and a pastry you like? I uhm, I can’t decide.” 

“Okay, sure! I’ll get that ready for you guys.” 

Seemingly oblivious to what was happening, you slinked over behind the espresso machine, working on Keeley’s usual. When the fall season came around, her white chocolate and pumpkin spiced latte was a stark contrast to Roy’s americano. As you finished off her latte, one of your many timers beeped. 

“Oh shit…” You mumbled, totally having forgotten about what was in your oven. Jamie watched in slight amusement as you rushed over, muttering something or other to yourself as you lugged open the huge oven door, hands hidden by oven mitts as you pulled the tray out. The delicious smell of whatever it was filled the bakery and Jamie’s stomach grumbled. 

Carefully, you grabbed two of them with parchment squares and handed one to each of them. “Here you go, fresh out.” They eagerly took the warm bread and bit into it. 

Keeley’s was followed by a gasp. “These are new, aren’t they?” 

“Yup!” You slipped back behind the counter to make Jaime’s drink. “I came up with the recipe this weekend. This is my first batch. How are they?” 

“They’re fucking amazing, I could kiss you right now!” She took another bite before looking over at her friend. 

“Yeah, what she said…” He was so enthralled in the taste he hadn’t realized what he was echoing until it registered in his head. “Ah well no, I just meant- I don’t want to kiss you! I mean, it’s not that I don’t but- wait, no! I just-” 

“It’s okay, I understood what you meant.” Your soft laugh didn’t help Jaime’s nerves but he was glad he hadn’t said something wrong. “Here you go Keeles.” You slid a two cup drink tray over to her, her’s and Roy’s drink sitting neatly in it. “And here you go, Jaime. I hope you like it.” 

You watched hopefully as he took a sip of the drink. He nodded in approval, the right amount of sweet and bitter swirled across his tongue. “That’s real good, what is it?” 

“It’s a brown sugar and english toffee latte. It’s not on the menu but it’s what I make for myself.” He nodded in approval, watching as you grabbed a to-go box from underneath the counter and started to fill it with pastries. 

Keeley was overjoyed, secretly snapping a picture of Jamie watching you work with a lovesick expression on his face. She giddily sent it to Roy captioned, ‘I never believed in love at first sight until now.’ 

After that, you started to see more and more of Jamie. He had been stopping by before practice or even on weekends that he had free and whenever Keeley or anyone really, mentioned a hankering for a coffee or a sweet treat, he had volunteered to make a run out to grab some. 

You definitely weren’t complaining. 

The charming footballer had always brought a smile to your face, his anecdotes about his teammates or of his coaches had brightened up your days. There had been a few times where he’d come right at closing time and helped you clean up. 

He still hadn’t gotten up the nerve to ask you on a proper date. Every time he thought he had hyped himself enough, he’d abandon ship and talk about something else. 

But of course, he had enough of beating around the bush. 

He came in with a determined look on his face and it had you very intrigued but you finished ringing up your customer and making their drinks. You bid them a ‘goodbye’ and a ‘come back soon’ before you started on Jaimes’s usual, sending him a smile. 

“Hi Jams, everything okay?” 

He watched as you basically made the drink by memory, sparing a few tiny glances down at your hands but keeping your full attention on him. It made his heart skip a beat. 

“Yeah…I erm, well I wanted to ask you something. Have for a while now, actually.” He was fiddling with his fingers, eyes trained on the shiny charcoal colored counter below his drink. 

He was so distracted that he hadn’t noticed you walk around the counter and step beside him. The warm smell of brown sugar and peaches overwhelmed his senses. “Come on…” You gently gripped the crook of his elbow and led him over to a table. As you moved to sit across from him, he shivered at the feeling of your hand running down his forearm and to his own hand, fingers intertwining. “Okay, what did you want to tell me?” 

He took a second to relish in the feeling of your fingers between his, fitting like a puzzle piece he had been missing for far too long. 

Your chest tightened, his eyes finally meeting yours. They were filled with a reverence that nobody had ever spared you. “You can stop me and tell me to fuck off or…or that I’m a prick but-” Your face twisted into a confused frown as he continued. “I can’t stop thinking about ya’, your face, your smile, your laugh…it’s so bad that I can’t concentrate during training.” He scoffed a laugh. “Roy gave me a proper lashing for it but…I don’t even care. So, erm I guess what I wanted to say is that, I really, really want to take you out on a date. A proper one.” 

Your eyes widened, almost comically, when you realized how serious he was. Temptation to deny was ever present in your mind. How could he like you that much? So much so that your constant presence in his mind was a distraction from the thing he spent his entire livelihood achieving…but there was nothing in his eyes other than affection and hope, how could you say no? 

So, you fessed up.

“You know…I burnt an entire batch of my pumpkin cookies because I- Keeley sent me the unreleased photos from your GQ photoshoot…I was too busy drooling over your photos that-that I turned off my timer and forgot to take them out of the oven.” A nervous giggle bubbled in your chest. “They looked like charcoal.” 

He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Wait, so that means…?” 

“I, very much, want to go on a date with you.” His eyes lit up. “Like, real bad Jaime.” 

“Oh fuck me…” He muttered at your desperation, “You’re serious.” 

“As a heart attack.” You squeezed his hand, an unbelievable amount of giddiness coursing through your whole body. 

“Kiss me.” His eyes widened, sending himself into a spluttering ramble. “No! I mean, yes k-kiss me…I mean, only if you want to. I want you to- could I…can I kiss you? Please?” 

You bit your lip in an attempt to conceal the shit eating grin that’s tugging at your lips. “Only because you asked so nicely.” He removed his hand from yours, cradling your jaw as if you were the most precious thing on the planet, and to him, you very much were.

He leaned across the table, the feeling of your hand holding his wrist was intoxicating. When his lips met yours, he was in heaven. Your lips moved in a languid pace against his, wanting to savor the moment as much as possible. The hitch in your breath when his tongue messily met yours had boosted his confidence, sliding his hand back behind your neck to deepen the kiss. Heat had begun to pool in your belly so you placed your hand onto his chest and gently pulled away from him. 

Keeley and Rebecca watched from behind the glass door, jaws dropped at the Hallmark moment they had just witnessed, unbeknownst to either you or Jaime. 

You laughed breathily as Jaime chased after your lips, your hand creating resistance against his chest. “Easy Tartt…let’s save that for our date.” You couldn’t resist his wide, pleading eyes so you leaned in and chastely pressed your lips against his. 

The violent sound of the bell made the both of you jump, pulling away from each other. Keeley had shoved the door open, squealing. “Fucking FINALLY! I thought we’d have to knock some sense into the both of you!” 

#jaime tartt x reader #jaime tartt x fem!reader #jaime tartt fic #fall fics #ted lasso x reader

[fanficfanattic]

I was supposed to be finishing Boots & Bottles. But instead, a vision came to me.

Season 1 Jamie, at a bar with the team, trying to figure out why Colin, Isaac, Declan, and Roy were hiding behind a wall and spying on someone in the dining room bar.

If that doesn’t make sense, ignore it. It’s all a thin plot to get to Jamie offering to seduce the guy. He’s Declan’s sister’s boyfriend, she’s out of town, he’s at a bar, they think he’s trying to cheat on her.

This isn’t a fic. It’s barely a story. Mostly just sentences strung along with a few descriptions to give an idea lmao.

“No one’s ever accused me of being subtle afore.”

-•-

“What are you lot doing hiding behind a wall?”

“Shh, Jamie. We’re watching someone.”

“Watchin em do what?”

“Can it Tartt.”

“Roy? Isn’t it past your bedtime??”

“Shut it, your loud grating voice is gonna make him look over and then Cockburn won’t be able to find out if his sister’s boyfriend is cheating on her.”

He finally quiets and asks Declan if he means his sister Angelica. At his nod, Jamie looks incredulous.

“No way, she’s mad fit man. Why would he step out on her?”

Roy acidly asks why Jamie would step out on Keeley. He didn’t deign to answer to such slander.

“Why d’ya think he’s cheating?” He asked Declan instead.

“Well he’s at this bar while Angie’s out of town. We think he’s trying to pull.”

“Well then why haven’t one of you gone over then?”

“Cause none of us could pass for a woman, Jamie,” Colin snarked.

“Sure but he’s bi so that don’t matter none do it?”

“What?!”

“Shh, Colin. We’re supposed to be being quiet.”

“Jesus, Tartt. You’re the loud one! Also I wanna know how you came to that conclusion?”

“Uh, Roy, his shoes? Duh.”

“Oh, his shoes do look pretty posh.” And Jamie nodded at Colin finally seeing sense.

“And I’ve seen him around Gay.”

“Gay?” Isaac said it, but all four of the players at the table looked confused.

“You know, the bar. G-A-Y?”

“You don’t say the word. The name is G, and A, and Y. You cannot possibly be that dumb, Tartt. You’re just being a prick.”

“Ohh, no. No I thought people were being, like, circumference?”

“What?”

“Saying it but not saying it?”

“Did you mean circumspect?”

“Nah, circumference? Where you say it in a round about way?”

“Roy!” Colin managed to grit out through his teeth. He sounded pained by not being aloud to yell about their rapid fire back and forth. “Not the important part of what he said!”

“Why were you at a gay bar, bruv?” Isaac asked before Roy could take over the whole interrogation.

“You just said you weren’t supposed to say the word!”

“Tartt!”

“Jesus. Sorry. It’s where Keeley likes to go to pull women. She’s bi too.”

“He could be going there without being gay?” Colin asked. Declan was suspiciously quiet on these questions.

“Sure, that’s why I said he’s bi.”

“I meant-”

“Look,” Jamie said, finally showing his impatience. “if none of you wanna do it, I’ll go seduce him.”

“You?”

“Roy, have you seen me hipbones? No one even passably interested in men can resist them.”

“You are such a vain mo-“

“Colin, give us your phone,” Jamie cut Roy off again.

“Why?”

“So you can listen in to get your proof.”

Jamie calls himself, answers before it can ring, and puts Colin’s back in his hand. Then he stands there motionless.

“Well, aren’t you-“

“Waiting for the right time.” And before Roy could yell at him some more, he’s off.

-•-

Walks right beside the man at the bar, puts his hands on the polished wood, and leans up on his tiptoes. It puts his ass right in the man’s sightline and when Jamie turns a bit the man can see Jamie’s ass flex.

“Just me luck. Get here and the barman’s run off.”

“Oh, well, he’s been pretty efficient. Will probably be back soon.”

“Cheers. Mind if I sit?”

“Not at all. Hey. Listen. You look familiar?”

“Oh? You might have seen me on the telly. You a football fan?”

“Not much but I bet that’s it. What team are you on?”

“Man City? The accent didn’t give me away?”

“Dunno. But your accent is beautiful.”

“Oh well, now I know you’re chatting me up. Not many can hear the beauty in a Manc accent.”

“Then a lot of people are fools. You know, I didn’t really think footballers were so…”

“So what? Charming?”

“That too. But I was going to say obvious.”

Jamie’s giggle came clearly through Colin’s speaker. Roy thought Jamie was apparently going for even more air-headed than normal.

“No one’s ever accused me of being subtle afore. I know what I like when I see it so I say it.”

With that, he finally caught the barman’s eye to ask about drinks.

“How comfortable are you with exotic shots, mate? I wanna give me friend here a blowjob.”

Said man spluttered while Colin tried to swallow down a shriek. Roy watched in horror as Jamie leaned closer and whispered to the man.

“You like amaretto? And Irish cream? Those are the secret ingredients. One of my favs. Love blowjobs, I do.”

Jamie hands over one of the two shots and then says “Now we can each have a blow job!” Clinks his shot glass against the other’s, downs it, and then whispers to him again. “Excuse me, do you know where the toilets are? I’ve never been here. Want to show me?”

-•-

As they walked past, Jamie called attention to the other players, though luckily by that point they had rushed to seem like they were just normally sat at a table.

“Hey lads, think I’ll be headed home soon. Oh, and I made a new friend!”

Declan looked up to lock eyes with the man. Who recognized Declan and then slowly realized exactly what that sounded like.

“Hey, Declan, my man! Just showing this guy to the gents. Then heading home. Your sister gets back from her trip tomorrow. Gotta be up early to pick her up!”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. Yeah. Was just having an after work drink when your friend here asked for directions.”

“Right. After work. At 9pm. And you needed to walk him over rather than just point at the neon sign over the door?”

“Yup!”

“I gave him a blowjob earlier!”

“He! That is. A shot!”

“Yeah, I’m giving you a shot. To get with me! You’re lucky, you know. I only hook up with cute boys, don’t I?” Only Colin played along, nodding in answer.

“What. No. This is a misunderstanding. I’m not gay, man.”

“Sure, sure, neither am I. Right boys?” And he wiggled his eyebrows at Roy, Declan, Colin, and Isaac. Slowly turning to each one to make it as painful to watch as possible. Jamie liked Angelica, she was fit like he said but more than that she was really nice. Making her smarmy ex squirm was a treat.

The man fled, missing the smirk that spread across Jamie’s face before he leaned up against the player’s table. Flaunting his ass again just like before.

“If your sister thinks he’s actually just confused, you should tell her that he was showing me the way with his hand on me ass.” He then pulled a condom from his back pocket, and held it out to him. “And see if she recognizes the brand. He slipped it into the back pocket real smooth like.”

Declan snorted, then elbowed his ribs. “Apparently he’s more subtle than you, eh?”

“Bout as subtle as a brick to the face. Thought he was gonna cum in his pants when I said I wanted to give him a blowjob.”

“How did you think of that shot?”

“Told you I’ve been to G-A-Y with Keeley. It’s how the men there check to see if I’m straight. Apparently how you react can tell a lot about yourself.” He didn’t give them a chance to ask more about it though.

“Well, this has been fun, lads. But I’m gonna head out shortly. Just gotta settle up me tab. Oh, and Declan?”

“Yeah?”

“He left without doing that himself. I’m gonna pay it, and tell the barman that he ran off after I rocked his world. Pout a bit about getting me poor heart broke. Ask if I can leave a note for ‘whenever that fit bloke comes back for his abandoned credit card.’

If your sister still doesn’t believe ya, tell her to swing by for it. Cause whoever hands it over to her will be happy to tell her the hot gossip around it.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Like I said. Not known for being subtle, am I?”

“Cheers.”

#jamie tartt #roy kent #isaac mcadoo #colin hughes #declan cockburn #implied keeley jones #ted lasso #it ain’t queerbaiting just because the lads don’t yet know Jamie is bi

[undermycoat]

[dj khaled voice] anotha one (fic i might never finish)

Jamie was fucking tired of it. Roy was a fucking sight on the pitch, and Jamie knew he knew how to guide the team to greatness and had countless lessons in fame, but fuck if he wasn’t dull when it came to literally everything else.

“No,” he said, “I’m not dating your sister. I don’t even fucking want your sister!” He paused, then added, “She’s mad lovely, though. Nothing against her.”

“Last you said, she was fit,” Roy growled, because that’s the only way he's able to communicate.

Jamie rolled his eyes. “Yeah, ‘cause it’s true and ‘cause it’s fun winding you up. You really never realised?”

Roy glared, though it wasn’t that much different from his expression before.

Jamie sunk deeper into his chair, defeated, and sighed. “Look, mate, your sister is fit, but have you ever considered it’s ‘cause she’s a Kent? And — and you always think I’m trying to fucking... fuck the women close to you, if not her then it’s Keeley, and look, I like them, I love Keeley, but not like that, and have you ever considered that—.” Jamie swallowed, fingers curling into his palms, nails biting into the skin. This was it; the big reveal. He could just keep his mouth shut and nothing would have to change.

But Roy just kept looking at him, and Jamie said it anyway: “Have you ever considered that all I’ve ever fucking wanted is you?”

Finally, Roy glanced away, and Jamie took a breath, then Roy closed his eyes, and Jamie saw him count to three — fucking... anger? He was angry at Jamie for this? And Jamie prepared for a fight, a fist flying at his face, even though he thought they’d left that behind in the alleyway behind the club, mostly because they were fucking shit at fistfighting, and really Jamie had just wanted Roy’s hands on him and didn’t know what else to do and it’s like a fucking primal instinct, reacting to Roy’s fire with flames of his own, but instead of punching him, Roy just shook his head and asked, “You think I’m fit?”

Jamie couldn’t help it — he laughed, and it was slightly hysteric, slightly too bright and too sharp and too much, but it was just unbelievable. That’s what it was. “Fucking hell, Roy! Yes! I’ve just had your poster up on me wall for the past fucking thirteen years for shits and giggles, yeah.”

Roy scoffed but dipped his head. “Alright. Alright.” He took a swig from his bottle, and Jamie determinedly looked away but in a way that wasn’t obvious. Still, when his eyes went back to Roy, he found Roy to already be watching him. Jamie licked his lips. Roy’s gaze lowered and followed the movement.

It wasn’t an answer, but Jamie felt confident. He leaned forward, and Roy didn’t stop him. Still, the first touch of their lips was soft and tentative and the most chaste first kiss Jamie’s ever had. He loved it, and he didn’t think about if it would happen again. He’d make sure it happens again.

When he pulled away, Roy’s eyes were still shut, and his brow was furrowed. Jamie just barely held back from tracing his tongue across his lips, curious if he’d be able to taste Roy, if there was anything in a kiss like that.

He felt like he was twelve again, sneaking around with one of the boys from the academy. But this was even more nerve-wracking because, well, it’s Roy fucking Kent, innit? National hero, Jamie’s first gay wank fantasy, probably Jamie’s greatest love after football and his mum. He’d been confident, but now he was readying for things to go tits up.

Roy opened his eyes. “You fucking mean it, then?”

Jamie blinked. “Uh, yeah. Yeah. ‘Course I mean it. I love you.” And he hadn’t meant to say that, and he for sure fucked it, but at the same time he felt lighter, like the full truth had finally been revealed.

And Roy didn’t look mad or disgusted or like he was going to up and leave Jamie there by himself at the bar, even though it was his own fucking house, and Jamie felt himself take a breath.

“Roy?” His voice was small. “You don’t have to say anything back, or, well, I’d like it if you did, but it doesn’t have to be that. Just. Just—”

“Jamie?”

“Yeah, coach?”

The glare he got in return for that was perfect, and he felt tingles all over. He smiled, hesitant. Roy rolled his eyes, grabbed the front of Jamie’s shirt, and pulled him into another kiss.

#idk ive got a lot of these and maybe if i post them i'll actually have to finish them. idfk #royjamie #ted lasso #my writing #i'm also just trying to figure out voice. cuz i really don't fucking have it #im at a weird transitional stage where all my faves are blending together #[will graham voice] you and i have begun to blur

[babytarttdoodoo]

hi! I've loved all the fic's you've posted so far! could I please make a request for something where Jamie gets officially diagnosed with ADHD and the team (and Roy and Keeley) are like 'well that makes sense' and are just so supportive through the process?

This was a doozy, anon, and I hope I’ve done it justice. Sorry Keeley didn’t get a lot of screentime - it ended up being a lot more introspective.

Thanks for the prompt!

(Prompt Fill Masterpost)

—

It wasn’t like no one had ever suggested it before.

Jamie, in fact, could clearly recall those cautious, gently probing questions Simon had ventured a few months after they’d first met. He was a teacher - a genuinely brilliant one, at that - and had recognised certain behaviours in the smart-mouthed teenager he was suddenly spending an inordinate amount of time around.

Unfortunately, Jamie had been a stubborn, prideful 16-year-old with little more than vicious dismissals for his mum’s cheery new boyfriend.

Years of school report cards and conversations at parents’ evenings echoed the same things.

If Jamie could just focus…

If he really applied himself…

If he tried a bit harder…

Exasperated teachers, tutors and coaches all leaving Jamie feeling stupid and frustrated with their attempts to guide him towards being better. Towards acting normal.

He had learned to live with the fact that some things were just harder for him than they seemed to be for everyone else. He set multiple alarms and reminders on his phone for everything he could think of. He wore jewellery and clothes that he could tug or twist or pull at without drawing too much attention to himself.

He learned to hold his tongue when he was overwhelmed and irritable for reasons he couldn’t define... and tried his best to apologise when he couldn’t keep the harsh words or knee-jerk reactions under control.

He coped.

It had finally taken a suggestion from Dr Sharon, a woman who had built up such an impressive amount of Jamie’s trust in a startlingly short amount of time that he often felt like she knew him better than he did himself, before he thought about doing anything more than that.

She had referred him to a specialist. Jamie made an appointment and answered the questions as best he could. Now, weeks later, it was official. He had ADHD.

Sitting with that information was strange. Deciding what to do with it was worse.

The first person he told was his mum. Obviously. She was reassuring and supportive, like he knew she would be, and even offered to take the train down that weekend to visit. Jamie declined, but he did have another request.

“Can you tell Simon?” he managed to choke out at the end of the call. “I think he’d like to know.”

The next conversation was a bit more complicated.

In amongst the information he’d received with his letter from the clinic were recommendations for ‘workplace accommodations’ - things that could help make ADHD easier to manage in a professional environment.

Most of it was completely irrelevant. Jamie didn’t need to sit in meetings all day or focus on a computer screen - he just needed to play football and that was the one thing he’d never had any problem with. But the advice (which Dr Sharon endorsed) was to discuss options with a manager.

Problem was, his manager was now technically Roy Fucking Kent.

And Jamie had absolutely no idea how to go about saying ‘hey, apparently my brain works differently’ to him in a way that wouldn’t end in either ridicule or dismissal.

(He was aware that he was perhaps being unfair to the man who was in many ways one of his closest friends these days. But there was a long and colourful history there that shaded every new interaction between them with the potential for chaos.)

Finally, driven half demented by days of overthinking it, he printed out a copy of his letter from the clinic and tossed it more or less directly at Roy’s head while he was filling out paperwork in his office. It mercifully landed on his desk, rather than smacking him in the face.

“Well, fuck you, too.” Roy deadpanned, fixing Jamie with a half-hearted glare and making no move to open the folded paper. “What’s that?”

“You could just fucking read it.” Jamie sulked, shoving his hands deep into the pouch of his hoodie. “‘S a letter, innit? From the doctors’.”

That had Roy frowning, what Jamie recognised as concern bunching up his brow. He picked up the document and unfolded it about as aggressively as one conceivably could. Kind of impressive, actually.

Jamie pinpointed the exact moment the information sank in and averted his gaze, locking in on the one part of the desk that wasn’t covered in files or wires or photo frames.

“Right.” Not bad, as far as reactions went. In his peripherals, Jamie saw Roy nod and readjust his hold. “... thank you. For, um, letting me know.”

“Yeah, well.” Jamie shrugged, plucking at the seams inside his pocket and studiously keeping his eyes trained on the same corner of Roy’s desk. “The leaflets and that they gave me said I should tell my boss. So. Now I have.”

“Right.” Roy repeated, agreeing like that made sense. He cleared his throat. “I know fuck all about it.”

“Join the club.”

That eased some of the weird tension that had been brewing and Roy huffed a laugh.

“Fair enough. Are you alright?”

Jamie gave that due consideration and finally dragged his stare back to Roy’s face before answering. “I think so. It’s weird, being told your brain is all…” He waved a hand around. “But it’s… nice. Knowing it’s not just me.”

Roy narrowed his eyes, assessing the truth of Jamie’s words, and seemed to accept what he said. “Is it alright if I put it in your file? Nate and Beard might have some input. Higgins should know too, probably.”

“Whatever.” Jamie chewed on his lower lip, mulling the implications over. “I don’t want to have to, like, say anything about it. But, yeah, you can tell whoever.” 

“That include the team?”

Jamie sucked in air through his teeth and pursed his mouth. Why that set his teeth on edge, he didn’t know. They were good lads - not always the most sensitive but they all (Jamie included) tried extremely hard to lift each other up when a difficult topic wormed its way into the safe space of their locker room.

This wasn’t Colin coming out or Sam fighting back against racist dickheads, though. It was just Jamie and his weird fucking brain.

“Dunno. I mean. Yeah. If you want.”

If Roy noticed his hesitation, he didn’t mention it.

Not a lot changed over the next few weeks. Jamie was still Jamie, after all. His quirks hadn’t disappeared overnight or become suddenly worse.

He coped. Just a bit differently. 

And so did the people around him.

A few days after his talk with Roy, Jamie was confronted by a smiling Keeley bearing a colourful gift bag: a present of cool rings that had spinning bands and mini gears he could fidget with, for ‘no reason’ other than she’d been thinking of him.

He spotted Sam with a book on the bus after a match, the title confusing him until he looked it up later. And then it cropped up again and again: on the shelf of Isaac’s locker, in the passenger seat of Colin’s car, sticking out of Jan’s bag.

Higgins approached him with a quiet and pleasantly confident assurance that the club’s management would do everything in their power to ensure Jamie was granted approval to use any medications that became necessary to his wellbeing.

The coaching team gave him a (mildly offensive) signal to use when he needed a minute, either to stick in his airpods and tune out, or to shuffle down to the boot room and breathe. More often than not, Dani would be waiting for him afterwards, beaming and ready to provide physical contact or launch into a full discussion on any inane topic he could think of.

Everyone was careful not to get outwardly annoyed when he asked them to repeat themselves or if he lost track of time. They let him talk when he went on a tangent. They were quick to forgive when he interrupted them or spoke without thinking.

They were… brilliant. It was brilliant.

Jamie carried on his therapy and worked hard to manage his symptoms and learn new behaviours. Despite Higgins’ promises, he decided against trying any of the medications offered to him, too concerned about weight loss and what (to his mind) felt like an unfair advantage on the pitch.

Diet and exercise became about more than just his job, they were further tools he could use to keep in control. He felt calmer most days and when he didn’t, Roy was there with extra workouts and an open door if he just needed a safe space.

It wasn’t perfect, of course it wasn't. Jamie still fixated on it when he fucked up and acted impulsively, screwing over his team or friends. He still let people down sometimes and struggled to understand how or why. He still needed to be held accountable. Shame at not being better still occasionally reared its head.

But that was okay.

Jamie was coping. And he wasn’t alone.

#self-projection? in MY fanfic? it's more likely than you think #fic prompts #my fic #jamie tartt #roy kent #ted lasso #afc richmond

[abubblingcandle]

What's one part of a fic that you are working on that you are struggling with?

That is a good question but I am going answer with less struggling with and more it has been rotating in my mind for months now and I finally think I might be getting to the point where it is turning into a fully cooked rotisserie chicken.

So I have had bits of Ch6 of Snap written for a while cause this was the chapter that sparked the whole premise. But I have been thinking about how Jamie thinks about relationships of all kinds with the Higgins fic and started thinking about this chapter again. I'm gonna put my thoughts under the cut as this might get long lol but here's the snippet.

“Oo what about this one?” Jamie hummed, scrolling on his phone. “Fifteen easy ways to take more accountability in relationships. Fifteen is a lot of steps but easy is promising,” Jamie shrugs showing his phone to Beard. “That is a marriage website Jamie,” Beard frowned. “Yeah?” he frowned, pressing his lips together and furrowing his brow like he didn’t understand what the problem was. “Marriage is like the top tier relationship though innit so if it works for marriage then why wouldn’t it work for friendships?” Jamie explained. Beard wasn’t entirely sure that was how it worked but Beard had at most two friends and a questionable relationship so who was he to doubt Jamie’s relationship hierarchy.

The premise basically being two neurodivergents trying to work out what is actually meant by being accountable in relationships because it's actually a hard concept to just ... decide to do and it needs to come from both halves of the relationship. I have A LOT of feelings about the gala and Jamie and Keeley's break up and this explores some of that.

So Jamie is going through his feelings after the funeral and his declaration to Keeley and realises that she broke up with him for not being accountable and he's never done anything about that. Therefore if he wants Keeley to like him and forgive him for his declaration and to apologise properly to Roy then he can't just apologise because that doesn't work ... he needs to be accountable.

... But what does that actually mean?? Keeley didn't tell him, she just broke up with him for not doing it. He could talk to Dr Sharon about it but that's not a real problem worthy of therapy so he turns to the other Real Adult™ that he trusts for advice, Beard. And they turn to Google to try and make a plan for how Jamie can be accountable in his friendships.

#candle writes #ted lasso fanfic #snap tag #willis beard #coach beard #jamie tartt

[lunar-years]

i wonder what jamie’s favourite movie is, like we know he’s seen the fault in our stars, and he doesn’t seem to like ratatouille very much. or maybe he just disapproves of sam mentioning ratatouille on a dating app idk. but then he also mentions the “three kates” (beckinsale, hudson, winslet) in the rom-communism scene, so maybe a preference for romcoms?

this is SUCH a fun question!! And I was going to say I don't have a good feel for the answer, but I thought about it over breakfast and came up with a whole thing, as one does (😂).

So, I think Jamie is generally one of those people who will watch just about anything and probably find most of them entertaining if not "good." And he is going to have very strong passionate opinions one way or another that he will voice to you during the movie (Since we know he was shouting things about the play down at the actors when Keeley took him to the theatre, I definitely think he's a talker during films lmao. And because of his total disdain for Ratatouille, I know he's very opinionated. But I also think if someone was like 'hey let's watch Ratatouille' Jamie would readily agree to it even though he hates the film, because he enjoys the opportunity to tell them during the movie exactly why he hates it.)

Jamie is my age and Fault in the Stars indicates to me that he was into all the popular YA movies of the 2010s, so I think he definitely likes like, Hunger Games, Perks of Being a Wallflower, Divergent, Marvel... all the classics hehe. The romcoms I think come from Georgie! When Georgie finally managed to get a night off work to spend with Jamie they would do film nights and curl up together by the TV. Jamie always let her pick the movie because it was a small way to make her happy, and she introduced him to all the classic romcoms :)

With Keeley I think he would happily watch reality tv with her just as readily as he'd watch whatever weird arthouse indie Film™️ she suggested to expand their cultural palate or whatever. He doesn't understand a single thing that's happening in those ones (especially if its a foreign film subtitles situation, because he can't read the screen fast enough) but it's okay because Keeley always patiently explains it to him afterward and doesn't ever make fun of him when he misses the point :)

Also, I wrote in Waterfalls that he loves the Fast and Furious franchise and I stand by that. I think a lot of like, objectively stupid and nonsensical movies are his favorites 😂 Brett apparently thinks Phil has terrible taste in movies, and I like to think Roy thinks the same about Jamie, except that it's very surface level because no matter how much Roy complains, he always ends up getting drawn in my how stupid the plots are kdngjka. And when Roy refuses to watch something Jamie and/or Keeley want to watch, Jamie gets to throw back at him, "don't act like you're better than us, Roy, I know you watched all of Lust Conquers All" and that shuts him right up 😁

Jamie never actually cares what they watch when he's with Roy and Keeley, but he nevertheless puts up a fuss about how it's his turn to pick and dramatically dive-grabs for the remote just to mess with roy hahahah.

#jamie tartt #ted lasso #asks #and a little bit of #jamiekeeley #royjamie #royjamiekeeley #:)

[onceuponaoneshotfanfic]

Sweet Nothing (Superstar Chapter 6)

They said the end is coming

Everyone's up to something

I find myself running home to your sweet nothings

Outside, they're push and shoving

You're in the kitchen humming

All that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing

Roy and the Reader enjoy simple domestic bliss.

Roy Kent x Reader

8.3k words

Warnings: Language, mind-numbing fluff, an overprotective dad, allusions to smut

Wow, this came out kind of long! It was fun to write and I hope all this fluff was worth waiting for!

~

Keeley eyed me carefully as we ate lunch in my office, door closed to keep out all the men. After the Paris trip, we’d had a hard time synching up our schedules, so she’d finally cornered me and demanded a lunch date, kicking Roy out of the office in the process. We sat on the floor, shoes kicked off, stabbing at the salads she’d picked up for us.

“So, what about after the game?” she asked, eyebrows raised. “Did you join the boys’ clubbing? Jamie didn’t mention if you did.”

“Oh, no,” I admitted, taking a sip from my water bottle. “They asked me to, though.”

Her eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Then why were you all dressed up?”

Suddenly, the tomato on the end of my fork looked really interesting and required all of my attention. “Who said I was dressed up?” I asked in my most disinterested voice.

“Only all the guys,” Keeley said with a giggle. “That little red number from the gala- you’re welcome by the way- and some heels with your hair all sexy.” She raised an eyebrow. “I think there’s a couple little crushes in that changing room, you know.” A smirk played on her lips. “Not as big as the one Roy has on you, of course,” she added.

I looked at the non-existent watch on my wrist. “Damn, is my lunch over already?”

“Come on,” she urged, giving me a friendly shove. “Where’d you go all dressed up?”

My story was ready to go. “Just went out exploring and wandering about. Found a nice little bar to sit in, read a bit on my phone.” I shrugged. “Nothing too exciting.”

“What about Roy?”

Once again, my salad was fascinating. “What about Roy? Didn’t he go out with the guys?”

“Nope,” Keeley answered, popping the “p” loudly. “You sure he didn’t join you at the bar?”

“He did not join me at the bar.”

You’re not lying, I thought to myself as I remembered our date at the Louvre, eating dinner with the Mona Lisa, followed by slow dancing in front of the statue of Cupid and Psyche. After that, we strolled around the museum, champagne in hand, gazing at the art. The whole time, I found myself wondering if I’d wake up back in my old room, its walls covered with Roy Kent, to discover the last four months had been a dream. Instead, I had woken up to find he’d run out to grab me a chocolate croissant for breakfast before the sun was up.

But Keeley didn’t need to know any of that right now.

Not that keeping Keeley in the dark was something I liked. Outside of a couple of my really good school mates, Keeley was quickly becoming my best friend. She was sweet, savvy, kickass and independent, and a great hype woman who made anyone feel like they could do anything. There was a part of me that was dying to grab her by the shoulders and scream, “I’m shagging Roy Kent and I think I’m in love with him!”. But I was loving the small bubble Roy and I were living in, where only Jamie Tartt knew about our existence and was threatened into silence. The little bubble where we were constantly holed up in my flat or his house, watching movies or making dinner together, drinking on his back porch and whispering sarcastic jokes late into the night, not having to answer anyone’s questions about how we got together or who liked who first or how someone like me got someone like him. No, thank you. Roy and I would stay in our happy little bubble for as long as it suited us.

~

“How do I look?”

I poked my head out of Roy’s bathroom to look at him. He was wearing- surprise, surprise- all black: black jeans, black shirt, black jacket.

“You look like Roy Kent,” I answered, running my brush through my hair. “Dunno why you’re so nervous. You’ve met them before. Don’t you remember my dad tackling you?”

Roy sighed and traded one black jacket for another nearly identical one. “Yeah, but that was as ‘Roy Kent, football legend’. This time it’s ‘Roy Kent, old man sneaking into your daughter's hotel room in Paris’.” He turned to me, waiting for my verdict on his outfit.

Tossing my brush on his bed, I strolled over to him and adjusted his jacket, fixing the neckline. “How about ‘Roy Kent, boyfriend who makes their daughter really happy’?” I offered.

A smile cracked through his nerves. “I like the sound of that guy.”

“Me too.” I kissed his cheek. “Now, let’s go so you can stop bugging me about my mum’s pasta.”

The drive to my parents’ was quieter than our usual car rides. It wasn’t hard to figure out why; Roy had already told me that he hadn’t met too many parents in his previous relationships. He was never really with someone long enough to reach that step, and the few times he did, it didn’t go great. He was especially embarrassed to talk about the mother who had propositioned him when her daughter was out of the room. Stories from Roy’s past made me sad sometimes; he’d had a hard time finding people who made him feel cared about for himself, not his skill or fame.

No wonder he clings to Phoebe and his sister, I had realized one day. I hoped my parents would join the apparently short list of people who made him feel special for just being Roy.

We easily found parking in front of my parents’ house and quickly made our way to the door. I carried a pie we’d picked up on the way over, and Roy held a bouquet of flowers he’d brought for my mum. As I unlocked the door, I glanced at him; he looked more nervous than the teenage boyfriends I’d brought home during my school days.

“Relax,” I whispered, planting a small pack on his cheek. “They already adore you.”

As if on cue, my mother yanked the door open, nearly ripping my arm off in the process. “We thought we heard something!” she greeted, ushering us in. She took the pie out of my hands as she kissed me on the cheek. “How was Paris?”

“Great,” I managed, closing the front door behind us. “The team won, and I got to check out the Louvre with Roy.” I shot Roy a knowing look, which seemed to relax him slightly. It also captured my mum’s attention.

“Roy, we’re so glad to have you over again,” she gushed, giving him a half hug that had him frozen in place.

When she pulled away, Roy cleared his throat and held out the flowers. “These are for you,” he stated, a bit stiffly. “I, uh, felt bad for interrupting your dinner last time without bringing anything so…” He trailed off, glancing at me as my mother took the flowers.

I slid my hand into his, giving it a small squeeze. “Where’s Dad?” I asked my mother, trying to put Roy at ease by taking some of the attention off him.

“Dad’s in the kitchen. Hope you don’t mind, we sent the boys to a friend’s house, so it’s just the four of us.”

Atta girl, Mum. My brothers were great boys, but they’d be positively tickled at the idea of having Roy Kent at their dinner table again and would probably be all over TikTok bragging about their “future brother-in-law” before we’d even had dessert. Just the four of us would mean that Roy could just be Roy, my boyfriend getting to know my parents, not Roy Kent, football legend and my lifelong crush.

My dad greeted Roy with a firm handshake, much calmer than the last time he’d seen us together. “How’re you doing, Roy?” he asked in a detached voice, as if he hadn’t been smothering the guy in the entryway just a few months ago.

“Good, sir,” Roy answered, more nervous than I’d ever seen him. “Yourself?”

Dad nodded, letting go of Roy’s hand. “Fine, thanks.” He quickly led us to the dining room, where Mum had clearly gone all out.

On the table was my parents’ best China that usually only came out when my dad’s boss visited or for my gran’s birthday, and there was a bottle of wine that I knew was twice as expensive as the kind they normally drank. Much to my relief, they (most likely Mum) had had the foresight to tuck away any embarrassing photos from my awkward teenage phase as well as that one photo my dad had of an extremely drunk me on my 21st birthday kissing my Roy Kent cardboard cutout, which currently laid flat under my bed at home, where Roy would hopefully never find it.

Roy pulled out my chair for me and then took the same seat he’d been in the night of my dad’s birthday. He shot me an awkward glance; God, this man had played in the freaking World Cup, yet here he was, jiggling his leg and blushing like a schoolboy on his first date.

Fuck, he must really like me, I thought to myself, feeling a bit stupid at such an obvious revelation. Of course Roy liked me; we spent every free moment we could together and when we couldn’t, we were constantly texting or calling each other. Heck, he’d even started using the Snapchat account Ted had made him sign up for so he could send me pictures of his uncle-niece dates. The man was clearly smitten, and the feeling was completely, totally, absolutely mutual.

My mother urged us to load our plates with pasta and salad, which Roy did not need to hear twice. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed that he didn’t start eating until I’d taken my first bite; a gentlemanly gesture I’d never had a boyfriend do.

Once we’d all served ourselves food and wine and begun eating, my dad cleared his throat. “So how long… er, when did…” He gestured to the two of us. “When’d this start?”

I shot Roy a glance as I sipped the suddenly very necessary wine; his face had gone a little pale. Apparently I’d have to field this question myself. “Actually, when Roy popped by on your birthday,” I admitted. “Believe it or not, he saw all the posters in my room and didn’t run away.” I took Roy’s hand under the table and gave it a squeeze. “Since it was painfully obvious that I liked him, he asked me out the following weekend, and we made things official about…” I glanced at Roy, doing math in my head.

“A month ago,” he finished for me promptly, a shine in his eyes. “We went to this fundraiser thing hosted by the club owner and…” He trailed off with a shrug. “Dunno, we talked, realized we like being together, and made it official.” His eyes shifted to my dad, as if Roy was hoping he’d be okay with all this.

My dad was staring at Roy with an intensity I’d never seen in my life. Part of me could understand my dad’s hesitation to be as enthusiastic as my mum about this relationship; Roy had about a decade on me (though honestly, neither of us felt it), his temper on and off the pitch was nothing short of legendary, and, thanks in part to my stalker-like tendencies, my dad knew quite a bit about the rotation of gorgeous women who made up Roy’s dating history. During his last visit, Roy had just been someone I shared an office with, so Dad could fawn over him without a second thought. Now, Roy wasn’t just some girlhood crush on my walls, but a real, viable romantic partner. The concept must have been a bit terrifying for the father of an only daughter.

After the longest minute of my life, my dad spoke directly to Roy. “And you… you like my daughter?”

Based on his wide-eyed stare, Roy was not prepared for such a blunt question. “Oh. Um, yeah, of course, I really fucking like her.” Somehow his eyes grew wider. “Shit. Sorry. I mean-” He screwed his eyes shut and let out a tiny growl. With a sigh, he opened his eyes again. “Yes, I like your daughter. A lot.”

Dad didn’t seem ready to let up. “And you treat her well?”

Roy shrugged. “I’d like to think so. I respect her and try to make sure she knows I care about her more than I’ve ever cared about anyone. I like making her laugh. And once she decides she’s sick of keeping us gaffers in line, I’ll support her whatever she ends up doing.”

My dad stared at Roy hard, his jaw set. Come on Dad, ease up, I prayed. Go back to worshipping the grass this man walks on. Remember the way you sobbed when he walked off the field during his last game. Remember how much you want me to be happy. Please.

Finally, my dad nodded slowly. “Alright then. Thank you for your honesty, Roy.” He took a long sip of his wine as the rest of the table stared at him expectantly. At last, he set down his glass. “So, how d’you think the Greyhounds’ odds are for avoiding relegation this season?”

And that was it. The rest of the evening was a blur of laughter and stories and Roy getting second and third helpings of my mum’s pasta. By the time my mum brought out the pie, Roy and my dad had made plans to grab a drink later in the week to watch a football game together and my mum had promised to have us over for dinner again the following week. Roy’s face was full of relief as my mum gave him a hug and my dad shook his hand warmly.

“Was that so bad?” I teased once we were settled in the car.

He shrugged as he started the car, not hiding his smile. “I had a good time. Your parents are pretty great.”

I cleared my throat, keeping my eyes on the road. “Sorry about my dad, though. Not sure what came over him when we sat down.”

“Oh, come on,” he scoffed. “You’re his only daughter. I’m an old man who has something of a reputation. Can’t blame him for not loving the idea of us together.” His voice was thoughtful. “But I hope he believes me when I say I really fucking care about you.” He took my hand. “And I hope you believe it too.”

I turned to look at Roy, who was already glancing at me. “I do,” I assured him. “And I really care about you too.”

Turning his gaze back to the road, Roy nodded. “Good.” He paused for a moment, clearly thinking hard about something. “Just… please don’t tell your dad about our sleepovers. Because with my shit knee, he may be able to outrun me.”

“Oh no, Roy. He could definitely outrun you.”

~

“Here you go, dear.”

“Thanks, Rose,” I murmured, taking my drink from her. I turned back to Roy. “Alright. Now you can tell me about practice.”

Roy sipped his beer. “Actually, I had something I’ve been thinking about lately that I wanted to ask you about.”

I tilted my head at him. “Anything wrong?”

“Well…” Roy bobbled his head a bit. “Just thinking about how unfair it is that I’ve met your family twice now, but you haven’t met mine.” He glanced at me, playful suspicion in his eyes. “Unless you’re one of those women who thinks it should be all your family all the time and my family can go fuck off a cliff?”

Puzzled but intrigued, I leaned forward. “Absolutely not. Did you have something in mind?”

He tapped the side of his beer bottle. “’ve been promising Phoebe I’d take her to see this fucking stage production of The Sound of Music on Friday. Take her out to ice cream or some shit after. You want to join us?”

While he spoke in that disinterested voice he often used, I could sense the apprehension beneath it. He wanted me to say yes so badly, to be excited to meet the most important person in his life. To be interested in every part of his life, not just football. This would be a key moment in our relationship, and Roy obviously knew it.

“That sounds great,” I gushed, taking his hand. “If I’m being honest, I’ve really been looking forward to meeting Phoebe.”

“She’s dying to meet you too, actually.” He rolled his eyes, as if he wasn’t talking about his precious little niece who was the absolute light of his life. “Been bugging the shit out of me about it ever since I first told her about you.”

A flutter ran through my heart. “You talk about me to Phoebe?”

“Fucking course. Don’t tell her, but that little idiot’s probably my best friend.”

“Don’t let Jamie hear you say that,” I warned with a grin. “He’ll get jealous.”

Predictably, Roy bared his teeth at me. “I’ve told you a million fucking times, Jamie Tartt is not my best friend. He’s not even my friend. I fucking hate that prick. I want to cut his face off and hang it up as a Halloween decoration so I don’t have to pass out candy to fucking trick or treaters.”

“Wow, your best man speech at Jamie’s wedding is gonna suck.”

Despite his best attempt at annoyance, I could see the grin Roy was trying to fight. “Do I have to do that shit where I kiss you just to shut you up?”

I shrugged. “Can’t guarantee it’ll work. But you’re very welcome to try.”

~

Work that Friday seemed to go in slow motion. It took all my restraint to stop myself from asking Roy a million questions about Phoebe, what she liked, what she knew about me (about us, really), how to make a good impression on her. Instead, I scurried around making sure Ted had a Spanish-to-English dictionary available for a Zoom call he had late in the day and giving Rebecca a non-answer when she asked about my weekend plans.

Finally, Roy and I packed up our things and hopped into his still ridiculous car, stopping at his place to change into what he told me Phoebe called “fancy theatre clothes” before finally going to his sister’s place to pick up Phoebe.

Shit, is this how Roy felt at my parents’? I asked myself as I shook Dr. O’Sullivan’s hand. Of course, I knew her face from the photos of her at Roy’s place, but God, she was beautiful in person. And the smile she wore told me that Roy had definitely mentioned me at least once or twice.

“Is Phoebe fucking ready or what?” Roy sighed after introductions had been made.

“Uncle Roy! Uncle Roy!”

A blur of blonde and pink launched itself at Roy, nearly toppling him over. Phoebe clung to her uncle and gazed up at him, her face full of that love that a small child had for her hero. My entire body melted at the sight of this little girl in a pink dress hugging him tight. Feeling like I was being watched, I glanced over at Roy’s sister, who was looking at me with a pensive expression. We exchanged soft smiles before both turning our attention back to Phoebe.

Roy crouched by Phoebe, ignoring the small crack coming from his leg as he did so, and gestured towards me. “Phoebe, this is-”

Before Roy could finish, Phoebe hurled herself at me, giving me a tight hug. “Oh my gosh. I’m so excited to finally meet you!” Her smile was infectious. “My uncle Roy really likes you.”

“No shit, Phoebe,” Roy growled. “Let’s get going. If you make me miss the opening song, I’ll leave you there and you can become another Von Trapp brat.”

During the ride to the theater, Phoebe asked me a million questions: about my job, my friends, my family, my flat, and what I thought the best ice cream flavors were. In turn, I learned about her school, her friends, her mother, which of her stuffed animals were her favorite, and all the things she loved about her Uncle Roy. By the time we’d found our seats in the theatre, Phoebe was holding my hand like we were the best of friends and begging Roy to let her sit next to me, since he got to sit next to me in the car.

“It’s only fair,” I pointed out to Roy, who smiled and rolled his eyes in that goofy way that made my knees go weak.

The first act of the show was as wonderful as I expected. Phoebe was entranced the entire time, and on her other side I could see Roy mouthing along to every song. We locked eyes a few times, especially when Maria and Captain von Trapp were onstage together. Each time we exchanged bashful smiles, as if we were kids with crushes rather than two adults in a fairly serious relationship.

At intermission, we found seats in the lobby. Roy headed to the line at the bar to get us something to drink, leaving Phoebe and I alone.

“Are you enjoying the show?” I asked, offering her my softest smile.

“Very much,” she said. “Uncle Roy’s made me watch the film about a million times, so we know all the songs. Do you like it?”

I nodded. “It’s one of my favorite movies, too. Can I tell you a secret?” Phoebe nodded earnestly, clearly excited to learn something so important. “I nearly always cry when Maria and Captain von Trapp admit they love each other.”

Phoebe giggled good-naturedly. “My uncle Roy reminds me of Captain von Trapp. Always yelling, but he’s really very nice.” She gazed up at me, a pondering look on her little face before she broke into a huge grin. “I guess that makes you Maria!” My tongue was suddenly too tied to reply, so she continued. “You know, Uncle Roy talks about you all time.”

Clearly, this was the topic Phoebe was most interested in. “And what does your Uncle Roy say about me?” I asked, humoring her.

“Well, the first time he talked about you, he was telling my mum that you had started working at Richmond and he was kind of mad that he had to share his office with you. But then Mummy asked if you were pretty, and he told her to shut up, but he was smiling.” She thought for a moment. “He also says you’re very nice and very smart and that the team would fall apart without you. And he told me that being nice to you is very important because you’re his girlfriend.” She glanced down at her sparkly shoes. “Uncle Roy never introduces me to his girlfriends.”

Part of me knew I should change the subject, but the part of me that turned into a giggling teenage girl whenever I thought about Roy couldn’t resist. “No?”

She shook her little head as she looked back up at me. “No. But my mum says you’re different. She thinks Uncle Roy is going to marry you someday. Would you let me be your flower girl?”

Before I could manage a response, Roy appeared, holding three glasses. “Here. Shirley Temples.” He handed one to each of us. “Don’t fucking spill on your dress,” he warned Phoebe. He sat down beside me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. “What were you two chatting about?”

Of course, Phoebe pipped up before I could open my mouth. “Our favorite songs in the play. Mine’s The Lonely Goatherd.”

“That’s a shit choice,” Roy snorted.

While he went on a rant about why Edelweiss was a perfect song, I turned my gaze to Phoebe, who was already smiling up at me knowingly. Something in my heart warmed with the realization that I had made a new little friend.

~

The rain pitter-pattered against the window as I folded the laundry I’d managed to avoid for a couple of days. Some cheesy movie played on the television, more for background noise than anything else. My mind was occupied with thoughts of the weekend before, when we’d taken Phoebe on our second outing together: the zoo. She’d been thrilled to hold both our hands and explain everything she knew about each animal; she was especially excited to tell me all about how her Uncle Roy reminded her of the giant gorilla in its enclosure when it banged on the glass.

As if he knew I was thinking about him, Roy interrupted my thoughts with a phone call.

“Hey,” I greeted casually, pretending my heart didn’t skip a beat every time his name lit up my mobile screen.

“What’re you up to today?” he asked in lieu of a greeting.

I lowered the volume on the television. “Told you, I’m having my girlfriends over to have a proper catchup and grabbing drinks with them. I haven’t seen them since before Paris and I feel like I’ve been a shit friend since I started at Richmond.” Since you decided to take up my every waking thought.

“That’s not til tonight, right?”

Onscreen, the two romantic leads began their big blowout argument that threatened to break them up. “Yeah. But I’ve gotta tidy up a bit.” My curiosity got the better of me. “Why?”

“Got an errand to run and wanted your help.”

My curiosity increased. “What sort of errand?” I tucked my mobile between my face and shoulder so I could resume folding.

Roy sighed. “Phoebe’s been bugging her mum about getting a fucking dog, but there’s no fucking way my sister has time for one. So, I was thinking I might as well go down to the pound and get one myself so she can shut up already.”

I scoffed. “I’m sorry, you’re going to adopt a dog just to make your adorable little niece happy?”

There was a pause on Roy’s end. “Yes. That a problem?”

A smile crept across my face. “No. Just trying to figure out what Nora Ephron movie you walked out of.”

“Fuck you.” I could hear Roy’s smile through the phone. “You take that shit back.”

“Nope,” I insisted, my grin growing. “Sorry, you’re a regular Billy Crystal now.”

Now he scoffed, clearly offended. “Billy Crystal? Really? Can’t I at least be Tom fucking Hanks?”

Damn, I love a man who knows his rom-com leads. “If it’ll make you happy, fine. You’re Tom Hanks. Congrats.” I remembered the reason for Roy’s call. “So, why’re you asking me to go with you to get the dog? Not that I mind, but shouldn’t it be Phoebe? She’s the reason you’re getting one to begin with.”

There was a long pause on Roy’s end. With a deep breath, he mumbled, “Well, I kind of wanted to surprise her the next time she comes over. And I also kind of figured… I dunno, you’re my girlfriend and you’re here all the time, you’re gonna see the fucking dog a lot, I wanna make sure you like it too.” He paused a moment. “You could even help me name it and shit. If I let Phoebe name it, I’ll have a dog called Princess Sparkle Rainbow or something equally fucked.”

It wasn’t a big request; just go help Roy pick out a dog, maybe pop in a pet shop to get toys and food and a collar, talk him out of naming it “Fuckface” or some name Phoebe wouldn’t be allowed to say. An easy Saturday morning. If anyone else in the world was asking, it’d be an easy “Sure” and I’d have my shoes on already. But because it was Roy asking, the invitation to join him felt heavier, like it held some meaning other than “Come keep me company”. He wanted my opinion on this multi-year commitment he was making to whatever dog he found; that meant he expected me to stick around for a while, right?

Maybe Phoebe wasn’t so off base when she divulged her mother’s thoughts about Roy and me.

“Sure, Roy,” I answered after what was probably too long of a pause. “I’d love to help you pick a dog.”

Half an hour later I heard that familiar knock at my door. When I opened it, Roy immediately leaned forward to peck my cheek before he entered my flat, twirling his keys in his hand.

“You ready then?”

I nodded, closing the door behind him. “Just need to grab my shoes.” He lingered near the door as I quickly ran to my room to put on some trainers. When I came back, Roy was snickering to himself. “What?”

He shrugged, trying to compose himself. “Nothin’. I just really like your sweatshirt.”

Confused, I glanced down. Dark blue AFC Richmond sweatshirt, one of a million I’d collected over the years. This one, my usual go-to, was pretty simple, with just a small Richmond logo above my heart. It wasn’t like Roy hadn’t seen me wear one a million times at this point, especially on game days.

“The fuck are you on about?” I asked, feeling like I was missing an obvious joke.

Biting his lip, Roy grabbed my arm and pulled me close. “It’s honestly kinda hot seeing you wear my name.”

Oh. Despite the sweater being my favorite, I had found it that morning hung in the back of my closet, untouched in quite a while. Now it made sense why: Roy’s last name and number were emblazoned on the back in large white letters. I hadn’t even noticed when I tugged it on after my shower, especially since I had no plans to see Roy that day.

My cheeks warmed with the reminder that not too long ago, I was just an adoring fan. But Roy’s tightening grip on me brought me back to the moment.

“I’ll just go change really quick,” I breathed, trying to focus on anything but Roy’s hand that had moved firmly to the small of my back.

He shook his head, eyes burning into mine. “Absolutely fucking not. I like seeing my name on you.”

I managed an awkward chuckle. “Come on, Roy. Me wearing your name while I’m out with you in public might be asking for a little bit of trouble, hmm? All it takes is one picture and bam, front page of some rag tomorrow morning.”

Roy stared at me for a moment, his grip softening slightly on my back. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Was that a tinge of disappointment in his voice? If it was, he quickly recovered, adding, “That sweater should be your new pyjamas at my place. Let me see you in it more often.”

“Deal,” I agreed, kissing his cheek before dashing my room to put on a more inconspicuous sweater.

In the car, Roy told me all about Phoebe’s great longing for a dog. She was constantly looking up photos of different kinds of dogs, only wanted dog stuffed animals when out shopping, and had a very long list of possible dog names scribbled in her diary. Despite his ever-constant scowl, I could see the delight in Roy’s eyes when he talked about how “fucking feral” his niece would go once he introduced her to the dog.

At the shelter, Roy got plenty of double takes from employees, but he ignored them, completely focused on the pups in their kennels. He paused in front of one and knelt down beside it. After staring intensely into the crate for a moment, he waved for me to join him.

“What d’you think?”

The medium-sized dog was clearly a mix of about a few different breeds and his black fur looked like he desperately needed a wash. More importantly, his eyes were bright and eager, and he jumped as best he could in his confinement as he gazed at Roy.

I couldn’t help my smile. “I think this might be him.���

An older employee brought us and the dog to a small side yard where we could see him outside the kennels. He immediately jumped on Roy, licking his hands with excitement. Then he turned his attention to me, laying his paws on my thighs. For about five minutes, Roy and I tossed around a toy, watching the dog run around to find it and bring it back to one of us.

After the millionth successful round of fetch, the employee spoke up. “It’s amazing, he’s usually a bit of a grouch. Not aggressive,” she clarified. “But he’s not usually this friendly.” She smiled at us. “He must like you two.”

I turned to Roy, who was on the ground with the dog. “So? You want to take him?”

He gazed up at me as he scratched the dog behind his ears. “Do you like him?”

From the look in Roy’s eye, I knew the answer to that question mattered just as much- maybe even more- than what Roy himself thought of the dog. The idea caused my heart to skip a beat, another reminder that I really mattered to this man.

“I kind of love him already,” I admitted with a chuckle, reaching down to give the dog a pet. “But it’s your choice.”

He nodded, a smile slowly forming. “Yeah, I think he’s the one.”

We spent another five minutes sitting on the grass with the dog, tossing names back and forth, rejecting classics like Max or Fido, deciding against naming him after any footballers, and me forbidding Roy from using any swear words in the name.

Finally, I felt the lightbulb switch on in my brain. “Oscar.”

Roy furrowed his thick eyebrows. “Oscar?”

“For Oscar the Grouch,” I explained, as if it were obvious. “Phoebe told me the two of you always joke that you’re basically Oscar the Grouch. And this guy is supposed to be a grouch, but he loves us. Just like-” I stopped, knowing the next words that almost tumbled out:

Just like how you’re a grouch, but you love me.

Right?

Roy nodded, understanding what I meant. “Oscar,” he murmured. He patted the dog on its side. “What d’you think, fella? Feel like you can live with being called Oscar?”

Immediately, the dog sat down, gazing at Roy expectantly.

“Guess his name’s Oscar,” Roy agreed, his smile widening as he looked at me.

~

By the time we bought everything Oscar would need for his first few days at home and I helped Roy set his house up, I had to hurry home and finish getting my flat ready for my friends. Roy drove me home and walked me up, his arm wrapped lazily around my shoulders.

“Thank you again,” he said once we reached my door. “I really appreciate you helping me find Oscar. I think Phoebe’s going to fucking love him.” He leaned against the wall, looking at me carefully. “So, your friends are coming over, huh?”

I nodded, fiddling with my keys. “Yeah, we’re going to meet here, then head out to grab a drink. It’ll be nice to catch up with each other.” I shoved Roy playfully. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell them about how Roy Kent and I have regular sleepovers.”

He stared at me for a long moment, then let out a small huff of a laugh. “Hmm. Yeah, guess you shouldn’t.” His eyes lingered again. “Why don’t I pick you up from the bar once you’re finished? You can spend the night. Help me with Oscar tomorrow.”

“Oh, Roy, I dunno what time we’ll be done, I couldn’t ask-”

“I want you to ask,” he interrupted bluntly. “I don’t want you driving home if you’ve been drinking or getting a ride from someone who has. And I don’t want you taking a fucking Uber when you have a boyfriend who is more than willing to give you a ride home. Even if you make fun of my car.” He held my chin tenderly. “Alright?”

I melted into his touch, unable to look away from the look of intense affection in his eyes. Roy Kent wants to take care of me. And I wanted to let him.

“Alright,” I whispered bashfully, trying not to grin too hard. I stood on tiptoe and gave him a small kiss. “I’ll call you when I’m ready to come home.” I paused. “I mean, when I’m ready to be picked up.”

He nodded. “Good.” He gave me one more quick kiss. “Be safe, alright?”

Of course I’d be safe. It was just me and two of my close friends from school, women I’d known for what felt like forever. I had just tucked away a photo of Roy and me in Paris when I heard a commotion outside my door. When I opened it, I was tackled from both sides- Carly and Allison.

We squealed like children as we hugged and chattered about how good each other looked and how mad we were that we’d gone so long without hanging out together. We sat on my couch for a bit, gossiping about old schoolmates and the things they overshared on social media, before finally getting up and piling into Allison’s car to find a pub not too far from my place. Once we had settled a high-top table, drinks in front of us, we were ready to properly catch up.

“So, how’s life at Richmond?” Allison asked, emphasizing the team name the way all our dads always did. “The team’s actually winning these days!”

I shook my head. “It’s amazing. Believe it or not, the American knows what he’s doing. And he’s honestly the nicest guy in the world.”

Carly leaned forward, clearly already feeling her drink. “And is Jamie Tartt really that pretty in person?”

A snort caught in my throat. “Oh, Jamie’s beautiful,” I assured her. “And his very serious girlfriend Keeley is otherworldly gorgeous and the kindest person I’ve ever met. Sorry.”

Allison nudged me. “Who’s single, then? Because I am obsessed with Dani Rojas. That accent, that hair.” She fanned herself with a napkin.

“Or what about Isaac McAdoo? The things I would let that man do to me…” Carly purred.

I couldn’t help laughing. “Oh God. I’ve seen these guys puke after being run too hard at practice or with bloody noses because someone kicked a ball wrong or playing a game of ‘the floor is lava’ in the changing room or drooling in their sleep on the way home from away games. These are not sexy to men to me.”

“Oh, I know what the problem is,” Allison hummed, shooting me a wink. “She’s got eyes for a certain coach.”

My cheeks warmed. “Dunno what you’re talking about,” I answered, taking a sip of my drink and hoping I looked casual.

Allison rolled her eyes. “Come off it, we’ve all seen the shrine. Hell, I bought you some of those posters.”

“If you marry him, you’ll be just like Princess Kate with her William poster!” Carly giggled.

I turned to Carly. “You know Kate said that never actually happened, right?” I asked, trying to shift focus.

Allison caught my game. “Don’t change the subject! Come on, give us the details. Does Roy Kent, love of your life, know you exist?” She shot me a playful wink.

Despite my flushing face at the sound of his name, I snorted. “He better fucking know I exist, we share an office. We eat lunch together almost every day.”

“What’s he like?” Carly asked dreamily.

I paused. I couldn’t tell them about us dating, but surely that didn’t mean I couldn’t tell them about the Roy Kent I knew. “He’s… surprising,” I finally murmured. “He’s actually very kind and thoughtful. Like if he grabs himself breakfast on his way to work, he usually brings me something. He’s got this little niece he absolutely dotes on, and she positively worships him. And fuck, Roy Kent was a great athlete, but I can’t even begin to describe him as a coach. The man’s kind of brilliant but refuses to take any credit for the team’s success. And he’s funny as hell. Very sharp and witty.” I stopped, realizing that I was completely gushing at this point.

My friends stared at me with looks filled with a mix of surprise, fondness, and a bit of pity.

Allison finally spoke. “Fuck, this goes beyond the posters and teenage idol worship. You’re actually in love with the man.”

I rolled my eyes. “Stuff it. So, I’m a bit attracted to him, big whoop. People get little crushes on their coworkers all the time and do nothing about it. It’s not a big deal.” We’re just in a full-blown relationship. No big deal.

“But most people don’t work with someone they have twenty-seven posters of in their bedroom,” Allison pointed out, giggling over her drink.

Carly sat up. “Twenty-eight,” she corrected. “Don’t forget the shirtless poster in her closet that she was hiding from her dad.”

My jaw dropped at the betrayal from my friends. “You’re both off your rockers,” I scoffed. “Roy Kent’s a nice guy, we’re friends, end of story.”

Somehow, I managed to get the girls to find other topics to focus on. At some point I lost count of how many drinks we’d had; it was easy to lose track when having fun with friends. Once I could feel our energy start to fade, I took out my mobile and shot Roy a quick text telling him where I was.

On my way, he answered.

Once our tab was paid, we headed out of the pub, with me assuring my friends that I had a ride, hoping they would assume I had ordered an Uber. They wouldn’t be thinking that once we actually stepped outside, though.

There was Roy, leaning against his stupidly giant black car, looking every bit like my personal teenage fantasy in his tight black jeans with his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket. His face lit up when he saw me, as if I were a Victoria’s Secret model and not his girlfriend stumbling out of a pub.

“Need a ride?” he called out casually; he knew exactly how sexy he looked and was really leaning into it. Prick.

The amount of alcohol in my system was enough to make me forget everything except how fucking happy I was to see him. I ran at Roy and jumped on him, enveloping him in a giant hug. He chuckled and wrapped an arm around me casually, mumbling “Fucking hello to you, too” into my hair.

My friends’ faces were a jumble of shock, giddiness, and a giant helping of confusion. Their eyes darted back and forth between Roy and me, waiting for some sort of explanation.

Keeping his arm around my shoulder even after I’d let go of him, Roy offered the smallest of smiles to my friends. “Hi. ’m Roy.” He gave a little wave, as if they somehow had no clue who he was. He nodded towards me. “I’m giving this one a ride home if that’s alright.”

Mouths slightly agape, the girls nodded. Still feeling tipsy, I waved to them. “G’night!” As Roy opened the door and placed his hand on my waist to help me into the car, I looked up at him, a dopey, lovesick expression on my face. “Roy?”

“Hmm?” His smile was softer than I’d ever seen it.

“You know I exist, right?”

He nodded, looking at me like I was some magical thing instead of a very sloshed woman. “Yes, I know you exist. Now get in the fucking car before I have to throw you in, hmm?”

Roy managed to get me in the car and then managed to not kick me out of it despite my incessant talking the entire ride back to his place. Instead, he walked me inside and helped me change into one of his sweaters, the one I loved to sleep in. While he changed himself into his sweats, I sat cross-legged on the floor, petting a very sleepy Oscar, now drunkenly explaining to Roy why Paul McCartney was the best Beatle.

As I expressed how much I loved “I Saw Her Standing There”, Roy joined me on the floor, watching me with admiration in his eyes. He absently rubbed Oscar behind the ears, nodding and offering small “Uh-huhs” from time to time.

“You going to kiss me so I can fucking shut up already?” I joked, realizing that he’d never let me go uninterrupted for this long.

Instead, he shook his head. “Nah. I like listening to you.” He paused, his face turning thoughtful. “I really fucking like listening to you.”

I leaned forward and kissed his face. “Thanks,” I murmured, my body now buzzing from the look in his eye rather than the alcohol.

His face screwed up, like he was debating something. “I love you, you know,” he finally breathed. “Like, I really fucking love you.” His shoulders tensed as he stared at me, waiting for me to say something, anything.

Roy Kent loves me. Roy fucking Kent loves me. Roy Kent fucking loves me.

“Holy shit. I love you too,” I blurted, my heart hammering. I blinked a few times. “Wait, you really said that right? I’m not just that drunk?”

Roy’s entire body relaxed, and he laughed so loud he made Oscar jump. “Yeah, I really fucking said that, you sloshed little muppet.” He leaned forward and planted a kiss on my lips. “I love you,” he mumbled against my mouth. “I absolutely fucking love you.”

~

When I woke up the next morning, Oscar was in his bed, but Roy wasn’t in his. With a small hum, I got up and headed downstairs, where I found Roy sitting on the couch and reading. He gave a small salute when I walked in with the dog at my heels.

“Mornin’,” he greeted, scooting over so I could sit beside him. He pecked my cheek. “Sleep well?”

Despite my giant yawn, I nodded. “Yourself?”

“I always sleep well when you’re here,” he answered nonchalantly, eyes returning to his book. “You hungry?”

I shook my head. “Could go for some tea though.”

He started to get up. “Let me put the kettle on.”

“I’ve got it,” I insisted, standing back up. “You keep reading-” I glanced at the title. “The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe?”

“Phoebe roped me into her fucking book club,” he grumbled, turning the book so he could glance at the yellow lion on the cover. “We’re doing the whole series. You want in?”

I chuckled. “Sure.” As I turned to head to the kitchen, he grabbed my arm.

“Hey,” he said softly, looking up at me. “I love you.”

Color flooded my cheeks as I smiled down at him. “I love you too.”

He nodded. “Just… wanted to make sure you heard me say it when you’re sober.” He leaned back and returned to his book. “Go on, then.” His eyes flickered up playfully as I made my way into the kitchen put some water on. While I waited for the water, I could hear ping ping ping from the next room.

“No fucking shit,” I could hear Roy exclaim.

Curious, I grabbed my own mobile and looked at it. Despite it being early on Sunday morning, there were several texts on the thread between Ted, Beard, Rebecca, Roy, and myself.

We got Vargas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The following messages were all emojis and gifs sent by Ted, a simple thumbs-up emoji from Beard, and several smiley faces from Rebecca. I rushed into the living room, where Roy was gazing at his mobile. He raised his eyebrows at me.

“This is fucking huge,” he said. “I mean, this deal was more Beard’s doing, I don’t know fuck all about the guy, but my understanding is that Vargas is supposed to be a big fucking deal very fucking soon.”

I nodded, scrolling through the still-incoming texts. “I can tell,” I chuckled. My mind was already running, thinking about all the things I’d have to get done on Monday: helping Keeley schedule a press conference, making sure Will was on top of things in the changing room, getting Ted a new Spanish-English dictionary, because goodness knows he’d already lost the one I’d just bought him.

As if he could feel my to-do list building in my head, Roy waved me over. “Get over here,” he grumbled. “We’re gonna have a fucking busy week, so let’s just be lazy today, yeah?”

A lazy day with Roy. Roy, who drove me home when I was drunk and wanted me to help pick his dog. Roy who loved me.

“That sounds great,” I agreed with a smile. “Let me just grab my tea.”

Once I had my cup in hand, I settled back onto the couch, tossing my legs over Roy’s lap. Oscar settled himself on the rug, clearly satisfied with his new living arrangements. Outside, I could hear the rain begin to pitter-patter as Roy rested a hand comfortably on my shin. A perfect, lazy day indeed.

“Oi, I picked you up one of those fucking rags when I was at the shop the other day,” Roy muttered, nodding towards the coffee table. “Clerk looked at me funny, the prick.”

I snorted and leaned forward to grab it. “Thank you for your sacrifice,” I retorted, flipping the gossip magazine open. We sat in happy silence as I turned the pages. Suddenly, a photo caught my eye, the sight making me choke on my tea.

Roy eyed me with mild concern. “Alright there?”

“Er, yeah.” I nodded. “I just, uh, I figured out where I know Dario Vargas from.”

“Oh?” Roy could not be less interested.

I folded the page back and handed the magazine to Roy. “I’ve seen him in paparazzi photos before. With his girlfriend.”

There, in full color, was a photograph of who I could only assume with Dario Vargas, with a sickeningly gorgeous woman on his arm. Below them was a simple caption: Football star Dario Vargas out for a night in Rome with supermodel Brittany Brett.

#Roy Kent Superstar #he's here he's there he's every fucking where #Roy Kent #roy kent fanfiction #roy kent fic #roy kent fluff #roy kent fanfic #roy kent x reader #ted lasso #ted lasso fanfic #ted lasso fluff

[clueingf0rlooks]

I’m so upset. What was the point of the season 2 bantr fakeout? What was the point of the finale opening scene fakeout that was clearly trying to make us think they’d slept together? What was the point of September 13, 1991? What was the point of the green army man? What was the point of the countless Nora Ephron references? What was the point of Ted being desperate to spend time with her in Amsterdam and upset that she didn’t answer his texts?

Who even was Ted this episode? The Ted Lasso we’ve gotten to know over 3 seasons wouldn’t be so blasé watching his players sing a choreographed Sound of Music number for him. He wouldn’t be completely silent and emotionally checked out watching as Rebecca Welton begs him to stay and tells him that Richmond is his home and that Henry could go to school there. He wouldn’t watch her weep at the airport and again just say absolutely nothing.

Why did Jamie and Roy’s development end up going backwards and in the end it’s a misogynist love triangle that isn’t even resolved so Keeley gets no romantic endgame?

Rebecca spent this entire episode heartbroken at the thought of Ted leaving. She was willing to move to Kansas for him. But she ends up with a man who doesn’t even have a name and was introduced in one episode in the final season? If she wanted to be with him she would have gotten his name after their night in Amsterdam but she didn’t because she was satisfied with it being a fleeting connection.

Beard ends up with the woman who has been terrible and emotionally abusive to him for their entire relationship and even in this very episode shredded his passport?

We don’t even really know what happens to Ted. Either he’s back with Michelle after finally accepting their marriage was over or he lives alone in Kansas without any of his found family or his soulmate and he still only has custody of his kid twice a month and he coaches little league.

The only person who got a Nora Ephron worthy ending was Nate, which I’m happy about and I was always rooting for his redemption and I love NateJade, but I wanted better for my leads!

I’m upset that the show’s creator and lead actors called Ted and Rebecca soulmates, whether it be romantic or platonic, but they never even find out about their cosmic connections.

I’m upset that after knowing how many fans take Tedbecca seriously they decided to lace the entire final episode with a Tedbecca endgame setup with a morning-after fakeout, asking him to stay, Rebecca buying a first class ticket just for an airport scene that even Ted admits is straight out of a rom-com, just to rip it away in the last 5 minutes.

#tedbecca #ted lasso spoilers #if you’re an anti please leave me alone I’m genuinely really sad