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#let’s get together and write it. lmao
mrsquill · 7 months
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i didn't wanna make that text post go on forever so CAN WE PLEASE just imagine pedro in something like this??? being all broody and loving longingly because maybe the love of his life is all unattainable for whatever reason and it's ANGSTY AND!!!!!!!
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listen, i'm a slut for period pieces and i always have been and i've been wanting this for a LONG TIME excuse me lmao
ERIN!!!! You’re so fucking right and you should SAY it. He would KILL it in these fits! I need him in something Bridgerton-esque so fucking bad. I need the bodice-ripping and frantic kissing in stolen moments!!!!
He has the charm, the flair, the loving and longing stares from those fucking eyes. The declarations of forbidden love in the howling rain from THIS MAN??????
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butterflysonnets · 4 months
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yes i'm rooting for m*leven breakup because byler is neat but mostly? i'm rooting for m*leven breakup for the sake of el and mike.
to me, their romance was always a puppy love born out of a combination of social pressures, naïve curiosity, and a lack of true understanding regarding intimacy and romantic love and what it really is. it was real in that they do truly, deeply care about each other and they are close friends, maybe even shared an attraction, but a maturing romance is so much more than that. they've grown up and out of being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's okay! i think television/film needs to show more often that most of us don't have definite "soulmates" or first childhood loves that we spend our whole lives with. it doesn't mean these relationships meant nothing and didn't impact us, it just means they've run their course and that something else is in the cards, and this is part of life!
i've always felt el was at her best and most confident self when broken up with mike, discovering who she was and what she liked alongside another girl her age instead of just relying on mike for mentorship on how to live in the real world. she deserves more of an opportunity to find herself, her autonomy, and her independence, and to love who she is, and she's made it clear she's felt insecure in the relationship with mike because she isn't being loved and understood the way she wants, needs, and deserves from someone who is her partner.
also, it's okay if mike doesn't love her in "the way he should". he is not obligated to love her romantically and stay in a relationship with her just because she's a girl, because she "needed someone", or because he cares about her a lot. he shouldn't be pressured into a romance if it's not truly coming from his heart. he deserves freedom to find out and honour who he is, too, instead of just staying in his non-functional first relationship — one he got into as a child, essentially — and defining himself that way because it's what's expected when a boy and a girl are close. he loves her in some way, yes, but it's okay if he doesn't feel comfortable or secure being her boyfriend anymore, for whatever reason that is. he's felt insecure too, and that's valid and it matters.
they are their own people and are steadily growing and changing every day. they need time to figure out who those people are, and it's become clear (at least in my opinion) that those people aren't meant to be a couple at this stage.
they deserve freedom. they deserve to grow up and be authentic to themselves and not feel like they need to lie for the sake of a relationship. they deserve to move on from this version of their relationship that isn't making them happy and rekindle the best part of their bond: their strong, beautiful friendship. they don't have to be a couple if it doesn't make them stronger and better and happier people.
i think it would be healthy and wonderful for a show, especially one consumed frequently by young adults, to show a relationship starting, progressing, and ending on good terms in this way. sometimes things don't work out, and that is okay.
#eve text#elmike#stranger things#byler#only tagging byler because i feel like yall will like this take lol#tagging tagging tagging WHAT ARE EVERYONE ELSE'S THOUGHTS#god i can't believe i'm making a post about stranger things. this feels like poking a bear#i'm not particularly anti m*leven but like... they'd have to do something pretty special at this point for me to feel like it's viable#i'm seeing the bts of s5 and it's got me Having Thoughts#elmike friendship is something i am so passionate about#even before i ever liked byler (didn't ship at all until s4 even though i knew it was a thing before) i've felt this way about elmike#i always believed they were close friends at heart and needed to break up#the romance part of them felt very distinctly young and very much “he was a boy she was a girl” to me#and it hasn't deepened into anything more mature and i don't see how it could based on the current state of the writing...#the fact that lumax exists — a young relationship that is actively maturing and is healthy — makes that clear to me#and the “love confession” in s4 and how disingenuous and miserable it felt was just the nail in the coffin#also the fact that will (who is IN LOVE with mike) was instrumental in making it happen? ... uh... okay... interesting choice…#fucked up and reductive if they make it another queer unrequited love sacrifice for the sake of pushing the heterosexual agenda YUCK#so i really hope the speculation about a m*leven breakup is real!! i think it just makes sense for their characters but who knows#i don't believe in the notion of love at first sight or one true love and i think the writers don't too???#love to me is an accumulation of experiences and we inevitably choose it at some point rather than fall into it... but idk#tv is so fixated on keeping couples together... sometimes it's just not reality guys especially with young people... LET IT GO...#like i said though i'm not 100% sold that they're going to give up their “golden couple” LMAO#stranger things hasn't historically subverted too many tropes if i'm being honest#anyway i seriously need this season to come out quickly... i'm so bored and getting my master's is crushing my soul#i need frivolity#ALSO btw i won't respond to hateful messages about this so please don't bother. it's not that serious. this is a netflix show
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the-kipsabian · 4 months
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wrestling fic writers!!
i have decided to be the change i wanna see, so lets do a nice little thing for each other, as a community full of incredible and talented writers. yes this is writer specific only, but thats cause thats where the main problem of people not interacting with creative works lies in this fandom as far as i can tell and have seen people talking about it especially in the last couple of months
if you read this, please add links to your written works. it can be just a single fic youre really proud of, your writing blog, your writing tag, your ao3 account, anything where your works can be found
and if you leave your link here, PLEASE check out someone else that has left their works, and interact with them. leave them a comment, even just a kudos, REBLOG their fic, etc. interacting is the keyword i want to emphasize here, along with building a sort of a masterpost of where to find people writing in this fandom
and if you are not a writer, youre still highly encouraged to interact with this post and share it and show love to the writers in this fandom, obviously!! i think that should go without saying, but adding it in anyways
a bit more about my vision and resources and such under the read more, but thats the gist of it. happy linking and please be kind and supportive to each other!! 💜
nobody is too big or too small to add their things on this list. if you write and post anything in this fandom whatsoever, be it fics or drabbles or headcanons, any companies or any kind of ships or reader inserts or any content whatsoever no matter how 'dead dove dont eat' or hell even if its just meta, we welcome all here and nobody can say that one thing is less valid than another. just please tag your content accordingly, especially if theres content warnings, and feel free to mention what you write, who you write, any info you wish to leave that would help people before they click on your links. but even so, that should not and hopefully will not deter people from interacting, no matter what it is. someones trash is another ones treasure, i promise you
and unless the amount gets really overwhelming, im personally going to be checking out everyone that leaves something here. unless it squeaks me out, but even then, i'll spread the word. and i just wish as many people as possible will do the same, and not just use this as a potential board to only get eyes on their stuff. ofc thats also the point, but you should give as much, if not more, than you get. we need to be kind and supportive of one another (besides, from personal experience, if you show love to someone else, they are more likely to do it back than without you taking the first step, so... pay it forward)
as for resources, heres a few links that should be helpful in leaving comments and feedback. of course everyone does their own thing and no comment is too big or too small to leave, but for those who need them. if you have anything you'd like added to this list, dont hesitate to get in touch or drop it in the post yourself!!
101 comment starters
ao3 floating comment box
kudos html
dont know how to comment? easy solutions
a quick hot guide to commenting (by yours truly)
an overall guide to appreciating fanfic writers
and just in general.. leave people comments. leave them asks about their projects. just go over and gush about their work. i know it sounds embarrassing but writers love nothing more than to hear that someone likes what they are doing. if you find a fic that hasnt been updated in forever, comment on it. it might just be the spark the author needs to continue. while kudos and likes are nice, and just as valuable to some, its definitely in the words the people leave for them that matter the most. im not saying this to put pressure on anyone, its just how it is, and i feel like unless people are writers themselves, and even then sometimes, thats just hard to grasp, especially if the writer is a smaller and less popular one who doesnt get a lot of traffic in the first place
i think thats all. just be nice and considered to everyone, reblog peoples works, this post with others add ons and so forth. and if i find anyone talking shit here or at other writers for something they share, you'll be blocked and im probably taking your kneecaps. be fucking nice. we are all struggling here and we need to stick together
happy sharing and commenting 💜💜
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thychesters · 7 months
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There may be grooves worn into the railing at this point, or the grass matted down in this particular spot—it’s prime for sitting in the midday sun with just the right amount of shade, for being in the middle of the rest of crew, far enough to doze but close enough to pick up on any notes of distress.
He’s slipping into that comfortable, hazy in-between of consciousness and not when Luffy starts shifting around in his lap, and he grunts when a knee and then an elbow digs into his stomach. He drops a hand to squeeze his shoulder, and Luffy huffs to slump against his chest.
Zoro sighs, head tilted back against the balustrade, and he’s granted a full six seconds of relative silence—nothing but the waves, creak of rope and gentle breathing—before he feels knuckles ghosting down the side of his face.
“Zoro’s getting old,” Luffy murmurs when he looks down at him, tracing a nail along the lines he knows are starting to form at the corner of his eye. The quiet days leave him sun and sleep-warm and sea-worn, skin dry and calloused with a life lived free and out on the sea. He drags his fingertips down his cheek, following the indent and scratching at the beginnings of stubble.
“If you put your finger up my nose I’m going to break it off.”
“I’m rubber,” Luffy hums, sounding rather pleased with himself. “You can’t break my fingers off.”
“First time for everything,” Zoro mutters, settling an arm around his waist when he squirms again. Fingers drum on his jaw before they drag back up the side of his face, along a thin scar on his cheek and toward his hairline where they still, and he can feel rather than see Luffy frown. He cracks an eye open at him, only for him to twist and dig his knees into his hips, grabbing his head with both hands and wrenching it to the side like he means to yank it off his shoulders. “Oi! The hell is the matter with—”
Luffy’s nose bumps against his ear, and Zoro’s left glaring at his shoulder, hands hovering over his sides. “Zoro is old.” In his peripheral he catches the edge of a wide grin, and then he’s shoving his face into his. “Zoro has gray hair.”
He blanches and shoves at him, but it has about the same impact as pushing against the tide. “Shut up, no I don’t.”
“Yes you do!” he croons, wiggling on his lap and squishing his face between his hands. As they curl, his fingertips drag through his temples where there are small strands of gray peppering through the green. “Zoro has gray hair!”
He closes his fingers around his wrists, grip loose though his thumbs presses against his pulse points; Luffy’s smile is wide and as bright as his eyes, blocking out the sun but leaving Zoro blinded all the same. He shifts closer, close enough he could worm his way into his coat and between his ribs in a blaze of heat.
“It’s a good thing. I like it,” Luffy says with a nod, and all Zoro does is stare at him for a moment, nails scratching against his scalp. “Getting old is a good thing, right? Means you’re strong, that you’re still alive and keep fighting.”
And he wants to yes, sure, but only if Luffy gets old too—and he. He can’t say that. Rather than make a fool of himself he leans forward—hands cupping his face and all—to tuck his face into his chest, breathing all of the words left unspoken against the scar that blossoms across it. The scar that says he’s strong, too—like Zoro always knew he was, though it’s a pain he never should have had to face, least of all alone. Luffy laughs, and he can feel the sound reverberate, can feel it thrum through his veins, nose pressed to his sternum, and he remains there, warmed by the sun while Luffy drags his fingers through his few gray hairs.
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lucy-ghoul · 16 days
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why are you, as an adult in 2024, still hung up on reylo. why are you still mocking the shippers. why do you believe yourself to be superior only because you dislike a stupid ship from a fucking space fairytale. girl (gnc) get a grip
#it's ridiculous. this ship is... stupidly cliché. like if you know fandoms at all#you could easily guess why people would be into it. hello?? have you tried to watch tfa without your hate-on-kyle-ron goggles?#did you watch their scenes together? you don't have to like something to recognize the hints#hell. at the time i didn't really like jonerys but i realized they were going to be a thing when i read agot in 2011#like folks. it's been nearly TEN LONG YEARS. let it go. LET IT FUCKING GOOOO#and for the lucy/cooper shippers out there who think reylos are (again) delusional when they compare the two ships:#no. *you* are being delusional only because you think reylo is unsexy and uncool (which is your right to think btw. obv)#if you can't see why someone would like both of these pairings for similar reasons... idk what to say honestly#people compared it to hannigram... honestly. again i see why they would appeal to anyone who's into both ships#i really do. but... unpopular opinion (since i'm more of a clannibal fan than i could ever be of reylo):#they are more similar to reylo than will/hannibal. there i said it#i'm not talking about the writing (admittedly the quality of it was questionable). i'm talking about tropes#never mind that imo the ghoul is more akin to vader than kylo but whatever#hannibal is an unapologetic kind of villain. he's not gonna have a redemption arc and that's okay#cooper is an antivillain who used to be a good man and became a disfigured cruel bastard. a parody of himself#lucy is him. him before the bombs dropped before he discovered the person he trusted the most wanted to commit genocide#nice. moral. polite. infused with the Good Old American Values™. he's basically her dark side#all of this is very hannigram/clannibal. i'm not denying it at all#but what'll likely happen is that lucy's actions will have a positive influence on the ghoul and remind him of what it means to be a man#and that's way more reylo-like. sorry.#beauty&thebeast/villain with some hidden good in him+morally righteous heroine/enemies to lovers etc.#i mean. hello??..... having said that. i'm not so much of a reylo shipper anymore and tbh never was. i really liked it at the time#but i was never fond of the st era. my fav characters are vader and leia and revan from the old eu. just saying#*and* it's also not impossible lucy gets darker with the ghoul as her traveling companion. in fact i wouldn't dislike it at all#if done well i mean#but i would still like for people to be intellectually honest and less puerile. god knows i have my notps#but i really don't give a fuck about the shippers. good for them i guess? i have better taste lmao but that's heavily subjective#val rambles in the tags#val speaks#txt
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bonefall · 9 months
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Two questions! What's Leopardstar doing after her death? She got dammed so hard that there was a comet in the sky iirc, and Starclan happily gave Mistystar her lives, so I imagine that Lep is PISSED that her murderer is being welcomed as a hero, while she's rotting in the DF. I would like to know how she feels about Tigerstar's plans, since BB Lep was an active supporter of his idealology
I thiiiink the fallen star thing was a joke, but it is a very funny image to think that any damned spirit becomes one tbh
But actually! Leopardstar and Mudclaw are both kind of ashamed of what they did. Leopardstar is more resigned to her fate, while Mudclaw eventually decides he wants to atone and gets involved with the StarClan bridge.
Being around Tigerstar and a bunch of the worst offenders of TigerClan has brought a lot of it back. Distance had made her begin to feel that there was no need to "throw the kitten out with the tonguewash." Tigerstar himself was bad, yes... but is it *really* so wrong to want a pure, strong Clan? What's wrong with putting RiverClan first?
But now she's back under his claw. Being spoken over, used as a pawn, just like old times. She hasn't confronted the CORE of how her ideology is bad, but she does remember know how humiliating this situation was, and how terrible Tigerstar really is.
But at the same time, she is proud. She cannot let Mistystar go unpunished. She wants "revenge," though, to her "revenge" is a rematch.
On the day she died, Mistystar attempted to poison Leopardstar's food, in a way unintentionally similar to how Leopardstar poisoned Crookedstar before them. So she recognized it right away. It struck her in that moment that she was sick of these dirty, dishonorable tactics.
So she pushed it aside, leapt to the top of the stump, and announced that she had learned of a pack of vicious rogues on the border. "Mistyfoot and myself will confront them. Alone. Don't follow."
Mistystar only won the fight through luck. There was a stone in the river where they fought, and she smashed Leopardstar's head on it until she stopped moving.
So, Leopardstar uses this in her death to hold a grudge. I think on some level she knows it's an excuse, or perhaps a quirk of her pride, that she feels her death was unfair. She believes she gave leadership to Mistystar by covering for her own murder-- and she WANTS that perfect fight.
But before the BOTTE, I plan for her to have a conversation with her apprentice. Hawkfrost's arc is to break free of his father and his legacy... and he needs to speak to his proud, strong leader, who he comes to realize is being used like a tool.
It's another step in his revelation about cycles. How he was used, how he's done the same thing to Ivypool, how people have been doing this to his loved ones long before he was born.
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otaku553 · 10 months
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so you know how I've been talking about the Kazuha Demon Slayer crossover for ages now?
Hahahaha
Chapter 1 is out :)
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her-midas-touch · 5 months
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I just really hate milkvan reasoning that byler shouldn’t be endgame because that would leave el hopeless and heartbroken.
I mean, even if you don’t see the possibility of byler, it’s still pretty apparent why milkvan endgame would in itself be poor writing.
From s1, it’s obvious el has a lot of trauma, seeing as she grew up in the lab as a kid, goes through all that shit with brenner and the whole henry/vecna/001 thing is so traumatizing for her that she didn’t even remember time much later.
And throughout, she is quite out of touch with basic vocabulary concepts and differentiating between the concepts of actually liking/being attracted to someone vs valuing the idea of a romantic relationship and reaching for the other person to have a sense of that safety.
Her s2 arc is also important in terms of her trying to find her place, getting to know her roots and working on her powers. And as significant as it is for her growth, it’s important to note mike isn’t central to it. El’s arc is very separate from the route they’re taking with milkvan’s relationship. El’s development seems to take place when she’s apart from mike.
By s3, it’s pretty clear from what el tells max that she doesn’t actually know what she likes yet. She’s still figuring herself out as a person and exploring her likes and dislikes. And the thing is, she’s already in a relationship without a proper idea of her preferences yet. She still needs to “try things on” until she finds something that feels like her, something that max specifies, isn’t “mike or hopper” but rather her.
And yeah, this is just a fun little bonding for the mall scene but it is quite indicative of the fact that el is still finding herself out. She even admits to max she doesn’t even know if he’s a good kisser because mike is her first boyfriend. She hasn’t had experience with any of it. And that’s part of the problem. She’s already in a relationship with mike without even a clear, basic sense of self. She doesn’t even know if she likes mike yet, rather than just the idea of him and the security that she associates with him.
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But anyway, her friendship with max in s3 is so important to her development as a character because she’s with a girl her age finally beginning to realize that romantic relationships aren’t everything. And sure the milkvan break-up is sort of played off as a joke, but it’s also el kind of exploring her new found freedom and knowledge, experiencing being a regular kid.
Max opens her up to the idea of knowing her self worth. And I do feel like this is important because of the almost overwhelming presence of male authority imposed on her and controlling a lot of her childhood (and it was pretty unhealthy esp with brenner and henry).
But it’s the s4 conflict where her insecurities really come to light. And the thing is milkvan doesn’t get better. In fact el feels like she isn’t loved, not the way she wants to be (yeah ik we take interviews with a grain of salt but I keep thinking about the way the actors specified "want") and it’s like the whole idea she had of their relationship crumbles.
And I can’t shake mike’s attire in the airport scene and how will’s sadness was emphasized/focused on in rink-o-mania. And it just feels like both mike and el are trying desperately to keep up normal appearances. That’s also solidified with El’s little disappointed glance to seeing from mike on the flowers, though she keeps lying throughout.
She feels a need to do that. Maybe by showing him how great she’s adjusting, maybe as a way to show she has things handled and prove herself to be “normal” especially since it’s something she’s struggling with in s4. It could also be linked with mike’s omission of “i love yous” in the letters which may have contributed to fueling that insecurity.
And when mike tells her that she’s a superhero it doesn’t help her feel better and it isn’t what she wants or needs to hear. This is literally her face after hearing it. She’s disappointed and if anything, more insecure about it.
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And seeing that the note she leaves mike is signed from el, she is deliberately making a point of it. The whole thing is pretty break-up coded. She’s come to some sort of realization about their relationship.
El does care for mike, but since they don’t really have a solid foundation for attraction (especially since s2 mike makes his view on the love at first sight thing pretty clear with max) and el doesn’t have experience with it either, nor does she share a different bond with mike through their interests, ability to understand each other or in any way that indicates they understand each other for their own person.
And actually, mike is CONSTANTLY putting her on a pedestal. The s3 scene where he thinks everyone is using el for her powers and demanding too much of her? It pretty much contradicts itself since mike himself was the one who saw el as a hope, a means to find will in s1. And he’s amazed by her.
He canonically thinks he doesn’t deserve her and it makes me think of that scene with dustin at the beginning where mike makes some sort of comment about el saving the world and dustin says something about how mike is still failing spanish or something.
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And I think it also kind of falls in line with mike’s own insecurities and possibly feelings of inferiority with el. He compares her to literal superman. And the thing is, they could’ve really went somewhere with this if they wanted. It could’ve been a conflict that, if it had been resolved well, could strengthen milkvan.
Though another thing is with everything mike has said about el in this context, it just further contradicts the monologue because a big part of what mike sees el for IS her powers. Does he care for her? Of course. But mike doesn’t understand el’s struggles with power and who she is without it and though she fascinates him nothing really goes to indicate that he understands her. Just as not much goes to indicate that she understands him.
And the fact that there have been so many outside factors influencing their relationship (ESPECIALLY lucas and will too in s4) and helping them through those problems rather then them facing the conflict themselves with each other is a pretty big indicator that milkvan just does not work on that level. El didn’t tell mike about being bullied because she feels alienated to the extent that she feels her boyfriend wouldn’t understand her and mike doesn’t tell el about his true feelings or insecurities ; he deflects instead, and blames others ("you can’t let these mouth-breathers ruin you. ruin us").
And instead he confides in his relationship insecurities to will. Which, honestly, if there was hope for milkvan, he and el would’ve atleast had a conversation where mike’s own feelings and insecurities were taken into account. And instead it’s will who tells him what he wants and needs to hear. Will reassures him of his place in the party. His importance. Why he is needed.
So yeah. El might be upset, yes, but I think it’s already been leading up to a break-up and nothing indicates that el has something to lose in terms of her long time happiness or independence from not dating mike. Will on the other hand, loves mike, as a person and as his best friend from when they were children. Mike who’s soft on will, mike who was constantly there for him when he was going through all sorts of shit and being possessed by the mindflayer. Mike who said that being friends with will is "the best thing" he’s ever done.
And not letting them have this when the foundation, dynamics, relationship is right there is just a very tragic storyline. So will suffers through hell, gets possessed, loses a part of his childhood just to never get it back because all his friends have moved past it and are more interested in girls, and so dnd, which has been a reminder of all their good, happy times before the upside down is just reduced to a childish fancy and on top of that he’s in love with his BEST FRIEND and not only used the painting he made for mike in the first place to further his relationship with his girlfriend, but also hurt himself in the process by "ripping the bandaid"
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akkivee · 3 months
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KR!!!!!!!!!!!!! NELKE!!!!!!!!!!! WHOMST TF EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LET ME IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LET ME IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#this is vee speaking#hypstage might be fighting a fr uphill battle lol#i’ve seen a few more opinions now that day two has rolled around and i personally am seeing a divide between hypstage stans and casuals#like the stans while feeling the difference in casts keenly lol see the point in revisiting the get together stories#like it def helps break the new cast in and can potentially set stage for new original stories#but on the other hand i’m seeing the opinion that bc new encounter did the og stories and made them feel more cohesive#we actually might get a more canon complaint stage#one opinion of that sentiment i read was from a mtc stan and she HATED fp vs mtc stage for example#so while she enjoyed the stage some of her gripes about the stage was its originality#and how it felt a lot of people watched the stage less for hypmic but more for the actors and the different universe#which makes me a bit conflicted bc i also hated some aspects of the stage’s different takes but for the most part loved them lmao#we never got to see adaptations of the og stories so it’s cool that we are now but a lot of hypstage’s power came from that originality#i don’t want to see that go lol hypstage overall has better writing than canon 😭😭😭😭😭#maybe we can get a mix of arb and the stage’s propensity for drama as a production lmao#*coughs* but anyway#LET ME INNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN#I HEARD NAKANISHI SAN IS REALLY GETTING INTO IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!! HES ALREADY FINDING THAT STRIDE DESPITE NOT HAVING A BIG PART#I HEARD JYUSHI AND HITOYAS PARTS WERE FUN LMAO LET ME INNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
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sidereon-spaceace · 3 months
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oh god this is getting dire. i think i might actually have to start reading romance novels
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opens-up-4-nobody · 7 months
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#ever sit like a corpse in your own body?#im doing a job i wasnt designed for. theres this funny thing we do in academia where we beg for money. write in consise phrasing why we#deserve funding. what it is about our project what it is about our personhood that makes us deserving. what we're doing in our present to#give back and ensure a better future. and i can pull together a description of a nervous kid who couldn't read but loved to learn anyway.#who didnt kno how to hold proper a conversation until college and so tried and got better at ppl. who wouldnt let a language problem get in#the way of information gain. who cares about making complicated info visually digestible. and that's a nice story. but it falls apart when#projected into the future. what r u doing for the future? im just trying to continue existing#dont u want to help other ppl like u? sure but i dont have anything nice to say to them. does it ever get easier? no. it probably never will#ur brain was not built for reading. sometimes things r just terrible and u have to accept that. develop a crippling mental disorder or do#something where u dont have to read. see. not helpful. bad attitude. im just too full of blood and broken glass. all my achievements r#stained red and it hurts to look at them. to get myself to function i have to squeeze so tight i can feel the strain in my head. and even#then its not enough. do u kno what its like to spend ur whole life building something only to watch it burn to ashes in front of u? just a#broken machine rotting away underground where no one will see it. but dont let things fester. speak up if somethings wrong. and say what?#lmao i wrote this last night and then today when my advisor was like: hows it going? do u feel like u have enough time to get everything#done? and i had the gall to be like *voice strained high to prevent crying* its alright i think ive got enough time. bc yea technically i#think there r enough hours in yhr day that if i really tried i could get it all done. but that doesn't count the time i spend laying with#thr absolute desolation of my mind. so no. there isnt enough time bc im not doing well. but there's nothing he can do abt it so ya kno#whats the point in talking abt it except to say ya sorry im such a wretched miserable person. i dont kno how to fix it. my enthusiasm is#hidden under layer upon layer of pain. i burnef out before even getting here and im only making it worse#but whatever ill see my therapist Tuesday#unrelated
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samarecharm · 2 months
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Scheming…
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#chattin#taking time to draw and write out a relationship/dynamics chart for the thieves and assorted friends#bc theres. alot. and it would be nice to write it out. it would help establish my thoughts about them#its not poly/thieves but its. kind of adjacent to it. but its less shippy and more focused on how they interact-#-and behave with one another. like theyre kinda bonded together over everything. lines get a little blurred but its what works for them#and i think lumping them all together as poly/thieves is a shortcut for breaking down their character#like obv akira has diff relationships for everyone; but how do THOSE people react to others ??#like pego/ryu is real and true but also ann is absolutely there. u cannot separate them.#theyre the shujin delinquents to me LOL. they are too tightly bound together to let any external relationship split them at this point#akiras not w goro; its akira AND ryuji w goro. like akira and goro would just not work; but ryuji make its work well yknow?#goro doesnt get third wheeled w ann and vice versa bc ann and goro are good friends; they just hang :)#its like. if u could SEE the fucking string of connections making a mess of my white board in my minds eye…😭#so im trying to write it down into something that works for me#i dunno. i think its fun :) i did this for ffxv too#only that was way easier bc its just the four of them. but like. how do their internal relationships affect the overall polycule ?#anyway. inspired by that love post; that theres diff kinds of love. and kiss ryuji week LOL#bc i wanted to write a small thing with different thieves for each prompt#and im like how would their relationships differ from one another ?#ryuji and akira but also ryuji with makoto. ryuji w haru. ryuji w yusuke. its like.#u cant use the same thing from most pego/ryu fics bc they DIDNT meet the same way#waugh.#rambling#just know that im insane. i have all these wips and nothing FINISHED. waaa.#this is what that post meant about being obsessed over bad media LMAO. this is just what happens#u stay up thinking about fake polycules from a game that came out seven years ago#i think….#WHAT. 2016???#EIGHT years ???#funny bc i was thinking about how ffxv was eight yesrs old and i am still a mess over it#well. could u imagine if i played p5 when it LAUNCHED instead of in 2020???
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rodrickheffley · 3 months
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im such a judgmental cunt im trying to work on it though
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desperatepleasures · 7 months
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guhhhh i am struggling so much with ch3
#i'd say i hate it but i also love it like#it's fun to torment conrart while simultaneously letting conrart sit on adalbert's face#and if i keep writing he'll get to like. be a little mean to adalbert lol. in a way that is potentially gonna be ambiguous as to#whether he's just domming without proper negotiation or just being shitty lmao. well we'll see how it ends up coming out#like ch3 and parts of ch4 are the chapters where it gets kinda Unhealthy between them and that's a lot of fun for me#but also it's so humiliating to write LMAO#also agonizing having to like. do exposition. i hate writing exposition#if it were up to me everything would be like. one vivid scene with some dialogue and that would tell you everything. but noooo i had to#go and write a multichap with like. a tiny bit of plot to glue the smut scenes together/give them context#which means i actually need to write that glue#...and i already skipped ahead the other day and wrote the face sitting scene LMAO so i really gotta do the difficult parts now#ofc when i finish ch3 i get to face the void that is ch4...#like i know in summary what happens in ch4 but i don't know the details about the like really vital scene#BUT!!! in ch5 i get to start writing the conzak bits which are possibly my favorite part :) (aside from ch2 which i like a lot)#...i can't believe it takes four fucking chapters just to get connie out of adalbert's house LMAO. im so sorry my boy#you are gonna have some fantastic orgasms and learn some new things about yourself. but at what cost#fic tag
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no1ryomafan · 6 months
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Worst fucking thing ever when you consume new media is when the vibes are PERFECT like designs, music, basically every visual element aligns perfectly with your taste and tickles your brain but then the writing is utter SHIT so it’s just style with no substance despite the POTENTIAL being there. Cause even if you do end up finding something similar or already did and go just go back to that it just sucks when it’s like “damn this one thing that looks cool isn’t that good” since your just left with a bitter after taste especially when your gonna go through with finishing it anyways because it’s either so short that it wouldn’t hurt even if you know nothing gonna change about it that it probably won’t have the turn around you hope for or your just so bored and have nothing else to consume.
And I don’t know how people consume trash for FUN because when it’s like THIS when you can tell there was EFFORT but not in the part that truly matters it fucking stings more.
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peapod20001 · 1 year
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I like to think that if my tumblr pals came to my house, they’d have a good time
#random post#I don’t mean that as in ‘yea woo let’s party and get fucked up’ like no lol#I just mean. our house is a place where people get along#there’s no expectations here. wanna sit and talk? we can hang out and talk about whatever#wanna play a game? chances are a few other people do to#need to get away for a bit and maybe take a nap? we’ve got plenty of beds take your pick. we’ll make sure no one bothers you#hungry or thirsty? help yourself don’t be shy. we can always get more#like we had ppl over on Saturday and it was so FUN like ppl would talk all together and then different conversations would split off of that#we would go outside then back in. we had food and some ppl had alcohol#we were laughing SO hard about funny shit (like discovering that my sisters bf worked on the gas meter at grandpas but didn’t SAY ANYTHING#ABOUT IT LMFAO) my cousin brought his gf to meet everyone and she just fit in perfectly and so obviously had an obsession for animals#her and my sister were like sudden bffs it was hilarious. my brother and younger cousin ate at 2:40 and slept upstairs till 6:00#and all we did was turn of the light and put on a fan for em lol. crack up at how comfortable they were#me and my lil sister were walking up and down the driveway talking and looking at the stars. the nap duo were pointing out constellations#when most everyone left it was my household and my sister and her bf. she played uno flip and incoherent with me (usually no one does lol)#and we laughed very hard at all of the adult cards. one of the hints she gave for sidechicks was ‘sad used to have a lot of these’ and#I immediately got it. it was fun. we blasted music from the 2000’s and ate bread#I slept for 11 hours that night lmao and I was tired the next day but I wouldn’t have changed it. I like them lots#it’s days like that that make me think I’m more extroverted than introverted. just because I don’t always know what to say doesn’t mean#I don’t like to talk yn? anyways I’m writing a novel in the tags but I don’t care <3 I just love us and I wish#other people were able to have love and fun times often#I hope this doesn’t sound like me bragging about my home life. trust me I know it’s not some shining light in the darkness or whatever#but it’s something. and I don’t mind sharing my love with other people
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